#but it is very difficult

[squirmydonnie]

Vent:

An extreme air of anxiety fills within me today

I want to just move on with life.

But I don't know how to do that

I should just not think about it

But I don't really know how to do that either

Thinking about it more doesn't make it happen

So it's not going to speed anything up

It doesn't do anything with the time

Focusing on it isn't going to make me better when it comes

It's just going to have me distressed when its there

I won't gain anything from worrying about this for the next 10 hours. So I can just stop

I'll be okay and much better if I don't do this

[keenestpeach]

.

I don’t want to keep complaining but I am having such a miserable time dating. If you can call it dating. I’m on four different apps, hardly get matches, don’t get replies to most of those. Which I know is like par for the course on these but it really is a hit to the self esteem. Especially hinge because on other apps you can tell yourself the people liking you is simply not mutual and that’s why there’s no match but hinge will just show you everyone who likes a photo. I redownload it after months and only had two likes waiting for me.

I went on a date last week that was mid. Not terrible but no chemistry with the guy whatsoever. And that was the first date I’d been on in a year. I don’t know what else to do to meet people. I do a few meetups and I’m so happy for the friends I’ve made there but they are just friends.

I really am just super lonely. Came back from a friends house tonight and it’s just a crash because that’s the only socializing/physical touch I get for the next two weeks. I don’t see any other friends irl with any kind of frequency. I live alone. If I don’t go out there is a high chance I will simply not speak at all that day. Not out loud. I find myself just hopping from app to app trying to find anyone to talk to.

I can dream or fantasize that one day I’ll find someone but realistically, I know it won’t happen. This is just the life I’m going to have. Maybe I can be content with it. I like having space and not having to accommodate others in my home. But there are these pockets of loneliness.

There’s no conclusion to this. Im just not feeling great right now. :/

[lady-harrowhark]

things that have happened today:

got almost zero sleep last night because

my best friend went into labor two-ish weeks early and ended up having her baby this morning!

had my dissertation committee meeting

did a presentation for a lab meeting

finished and turned in textbook chapter revisions

…collapsed back into bed for two hours

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[wizard-laundry]

QUICK REMINDER

In the US: threatening government officials is a felony under federal law (the president in particular is protected under 18 U.S.C. § 871). Even memes.

be careful with your jokes if they spill over to active officials.

[problemnyatic]

when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,

[heartcandyholiday]

And I feel it's lowkey misogynistic, racist and ableist in the modern day. It disturbing that it's considered leftist. (rant incoming)

For example, the HAES activists stating that the movement was created by fat black queer women, which is blatantly untrue and likely a rumor inspired by the black trans women who threw the first bricks at stonewall to lend credibility. Second, the idea being spread that our culture preferring thinness and preaching about health is eugenics. It's not one spread often, but a lot of the louder voices in the space spread it. Like Splotchmaker, Fatsapphicbro, and Marissa Matthews on tiktok. And then there's the narrative being spread that black women are naturally fat and our culture only promotes thinness because it's 'proximity to whiteness', which is so racist. Not only does it steal language from real world racism/colorism in beauty standards, but it's leeching off of black activism to legitimize itself.

The misogyny I'm seeing stems from the idea that not being viewed as desirable as often as other groups of women is somehow a form of oppression. That plus the frequent underlying competition they have in their heads with other women, and the judgement and anger held towards thin women who work to maintain their thinness. And just in general that being overweight is fine when it quite literally takes your power away. (Reducing your ability to move and run, giving you heart issues, fertility issues, health complications, screwing with your hormonal balance, giving you a higher risk of mental health issues, increasing the risk factors during surgeries, killing you, etc)

The ableist part of the narrative is where they're stealing language from disabled activists. "You aren't owed health" "Not everyone can be healthy" and treating the complications with obesity as a disability, while refusing to acknowledge that obesity leads to a myriad of comorbidities including physical disability and chronic pain. But when their doctors suggest weight loss they get upset and it's considered fatphobia, but what else is the doctor supposes to do? Ignore the cause of these health issues? And it's not as if the doctor gains anything from trying to reason with them, the person will continue coming back and making their clinic more money the more health problems crop up from their condition. Lying to them and ignoring the real issue would make them more money but they still try to help these people, and then it's written off as fatphobia. What do they go to the doctor's for, then? They want to treat the symptoms but not the problem. They say it's genetics but that's also not true, if people were genetically fat and their bodies just decided to store more energy(out of thin air somehow, because fat cells cannot be produced without the calories to store in them) then famines would have never happened, which goes hand in hand with racism because The Holocaust, slavery, and the various famines that happened throughout history would have never killed as many as they did if people's bodies created fat cells from thin air without a sufficient calorie intake to produce them.

Millions of disabled people, including me, wish we could change our disabilities. That we could just recieve a treatment plan and a suggestion from our doctor and our disability/the problem causing it would be erased. But they refuse. They leech off of disabled activism and then continue further disabling themselves when they could just lose weight and change it all. They disable themselves, and are capable of losing it and living healthily, and choose not to.

Fat people are not oppressed. They've never faced genocide, they've never faced slavery, they've never worried about mixed-size relationships being illegal, fat people are not facing legislations against them, fat people are not illegal in other countries. Fat people don't face the death penalty for their size. Sure, they get bullied, they don't fit into a lot of things, and their clothes aren't as easily available. But that's not oppression. Hurt feelings are not oppression. So why do they continually steal language and narratives from legitimate sects of activism??

Their political movement only causes harm. 500,000 people die annually because of obesity. Childhood obesity is on the rise, type two diabetes is on the rise, one in three people are pre-diabetic. Obesity and weight gain exacerbated preexisting health problems, and will only cause further complications the more weight you gain and the longer you stay fat. Being fat doesn't feel good, fat is not neutral tissue. It produces hormones and it screws with you as a result, which is why more overweight people struggle with mental health problems like depression and anxiety. The excess weight damages your joints, especially your knees and back. The visceral fat chokes your organs. Being too overweight will make you lose your period.

It will steal your ability to have children, it will steal your ability to move and run and exist, it will steal your relationship with food, it will steal your mental health, it will steal your life.

How is it healthy? How is it okay? How is it feminist?

I understand that people have issues with food, and I'm so so sorry about that. But if you're in the movement and reading this, telling yourself and others that it's fine and dandy to overeat and be overweight is dangerous. It's not good for you, it's not good for others. You are putting yourself on a bad path, and spreading medical misinformation for an online movement that wouldn't care if you had health complications due to your weight and it killed you. This movement is equivalent to proana, just in an opposite direction. This is not worth sacrificing your health and quality of life. You only have one life, please take good care of it.

Rant over.

Btw, fat acceptance was created by white men so that it would be more socially acceptable to fetishize overweight/obese women

Thats sooo empowering

[lil-lemon-snails]

sometimes you just need to hear it v some stills below the cut v

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton is a master manipulator in FNAF..

[umblrspectrum]

so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground

[ssalballoon]

Mystra showed him the secrets beneath the veils. The gossamer veils first, draped across the Weave. The delicate veils next, draped across her body. 'Chosen One' she whispered, as she slipped them off completely.

poor gale :'(

- the dialogue is from ea gale's explanation about his folly

- i kinda like that she ended up looking like a mother-of-pearl inlay lacquerware!

- oh this was a subconscious choice, but Gale is sitting in seiza which is a posture for showing respect especially to elders. it's also known to be a painful position to sit in for extended periods of time, which is why it was sometimes used as a method of (morally dubious) punishment. however, experienced people can maintain this posture for much longer. food for thought :-)

- (edit: deleted this point bcs it didn't really make sense + detracted from the art a little;;)

[omentu5]

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[slfcare]

be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.

[beaft]

BG3 is really testing me because my natural inclination in all situations is to be like "well, i think you should do what is best for you :-) <3" and then my companions are inevitably like "i want to kill an angel" "i want to ascend to godhood" "i want to become the most evil vampire in the world" like can we take it down a notch . please

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]