#awful man but he’s sorta funny tho

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton is a master manipulator in FNAF..

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles 18 dreams about being gannon

Direct parallels to Gannon/OOT.

Sweet time to mention Shadow can play the piano haha. I have a plan for a comic on HOW he learned but that's a later date type thing.

HERO OF TIME HIIIIIII. 💖 Also Naavi.

He's here to murder shadow. Noice.

Seems like Shadow's just getting haunted by this guy considering his appearance earlier in the comic in page 290 -

Seems like Hero of Time just isn't a fan of him or smth. XDDD

Ouch. That looked like it hurt.

Also hi who are you.

Also considering I know who you are...Why are your eyes Blue buddy? :D

"Aw shit. I got sliced"

"Also I'm younger"

Ah dream logic.

Hi Perry-

I mean uhhh

Totally mysterious purple clad hero.

This is a character from the planned sequel of FSR. and I can't speak much about him. You'd know a decent amount about him if you've seen the FSRA posts.

Also his eyes changed...Again...

When I dream I have nothing but nightmares too shadow. Smh.

Oh Hi Link. Why are you wearing white and black. Basically the reverse of Dark Link's fit? Not weird at aaaaall considering that wasn't what he was wearing before he pulled the sword...

It's been around for awhile NOW but Shadow's hair changing to have a red streak...much like a certain gerudo man we know isn't odd at ALLLLLL.

Also nice Malice eyes Shadow.

Yeah I'm sure the magic demonic 8 ball will have the answers you seek Shadow.

Considering the Gannon flashbacks we just saw...Who's "him" Dark? Because Dark could just as easily be talking about Vaati here. But really it's up in the air on who he meant exactly.

Dark keeping his horns from his vaati convo and it appearing on his human ish form was a fun detail to add.

Random note to think about: Dark had to put himself back in Shadow's hat after sneaking off to vaati's house and that imagery is funny so I'm sharing it with you.

Dark's hair is still vaati colored as well and his behavior is reflecting him still.

Link talking about food and sleeping is just about the most link thing ever so Dark gives absolutely no shits about it.

Haha you should have chosen your words more wisely shadow...

It ALMOST sounds like you don't WANT Link here...which Dark can pick up on pal-

Oh shit. You repeated it you meant it.

Yeah don't shout Link could wake up.

Dark kinda SORTA seems to know what's happening...

But he's using "I think" and uncertain language. (You know he's not sure of smth if he's using phrasing like that hah. Since he's usually so self assured in his assumptions.)

Lol ignore how often my dumbass forgot to keep Shadow's hair right. Mistakes happen. 😅

Hey Shadow, abusing the nutcase isn't gonna get you very far.

Especially because he hates your guts.

Dark's kinda right here tho. Shadow's being selfish as hell rn.

The phrase "Does the word "HERO" just have no meaning to you? You disgust me" specifically gets a chuckle out of me considering who's mouth it's coming out of.

Dark continues to miss identify Shadow as Gannon when he said "you're as old as time" (More of a reference to demise depending on how you look at it but same diff)

Dark sweating visibly showing he's still very much scared of Shadow.

Shadow pulled his head out of his ass for a second and realized Dark's acting weird. (Like Vaati)

Dark's instant snap back is amusing but also sad. Like. Shadow doesn't "know him" not in any meaningful way. But he does yield and admit he was looking at memories for... YEARS in the head space.

Which is just a level of horror beyond comprehension.

Imagine spending YEARS looking at other people's memories just to get yanked out of it randomly by mr root of all evil himself bitching at you about smth you don't even know about, some guy you had a single conversation with YEARS AGO. But oh yeah. It's only been maybe 8 hours in the real world and all perception of time and reality was thrown off and you're being accused of being a different person after all that shit.

To say Dark Link isn't having a fun or good time would be an understatement.

I touched on it in a fic where Link and Dark bang of all places but Dark's existence is an existential nightmare.

Dark Link's EXISTANCE isn't fun for him. He's gonna mention it later too but he's MISSERABLE and vocal about his misery and pain just being alive.

Something weird to think about: Who's memories was he even looking at?

Really from his vague description it could be ANYONE.

I personally like to think it's vaati's considering he still has his hair shifted to be vaati's tone, is acting like vaati and mentions shadow being "Annoying"

though Link and vio are high possibilities too haha.

A mix of all of them aren't off base either.

Identity crisis how fun...Dark struggling to separate himself from the memories he's witnessed is concerning to say the least.

At least he's willing to be helpful with what he thinks is going on.

Really he could have just said "Fuck off figure it out yourself" but he offers to try and explain shit to Shadow from his perspective.

Dark's openness to cooperate despite everything is smth noteworthy.

He has literally no reason to do shit like this (Even if it fails) ESPECIALLY considering his distaste for Shadow. He just does shit that's helpful or nice cause he can.

Just little characterizations that Dark Link is more like Link than you'd first think considering his introduction.

Also OOT reference again with Ganon entering the sacred realm to steal the Triforce of power.

The second Shadow mentions them splitting is a relief, Dark cosplays Vio. XDDDD

Even Shadow thinks that was Vio like haha.

Dark's avoiding Link is the funniest part of this. "Oh shit he's waking up, gotta run. Don't wanna talk to him." XDDD

Don't do it Shadow.

It's a terrible idea.

Last time Link was here he was wanting to off himself so he might not be the most mentally sound individual!

Also who's happy to be woken up...

Dark Link being the voice of reason here about the pros and cons to waking Link up or even listening to him haha.

Considering what happens HAPPENS, that probs would have happened REGUARDLESS of if he was woken up or not. The change really is down to whether or not Shadow would A. Even be around for it. B. Be the one to wake Link up and have that burden on his mind or C. Just let shit happen.

Shadow is putting a ton of pressure on Dark to give answers or be helpful AND CORRECT but like...dude Dark doesn't know, he's guessing too lmfao.

Shadow makes what I consider a very foolish choice which was waking Link up.

Dark held back the explosion aspect but he is here to have fun first so uhhhh...Well he DID say it'd be funny to him and not Shadow.

Shadow defaults to blaming Dark Link "Damn demon" which...Shadow learn some accountability.

Panel by panel breakdown cause stuffs getting jucy:

1- Interesting outfit choice Link. It's the one he wore when he was a bit younger. So he's got a younger mindset when waking up. Which is just sad.

2- his outfit changes to half blue half green with a purple sleeve, his hands are all sorts of wrong and mish mashed with red and purple nails. His eyes also have the wrong color. His body is distorting all over the place...Interesting.

3- Shadow you shouldn't have said anything. The coward's hiding too lmfao he knows he fucked up.

4- Safe to say he's not very happy.

Link's distorting and glitching is based on video game glitches. Which is fun because: LOZ is a video game.

There's something distinctly haunting and uncanny about buggy/glitchy game assets and I wanted to capture it here.

Like the reality of four people being forced into one body is quite horrifying and the idea of them just bugging out unable to process how many thoughts there are is overwhelming. Literally like overloading a computer or gaming system.

There's also something to be said about how he fully breaks after seeing Shadow Link.

This is brought up later so I'll expand upon it later but the fact literally the only words Shadow Link spoke to LINK was "I'm the hero Link" or smth like that is hysterical.

For living together for 7 years: They truly don't know each other well on a personal level considering their ability to communicate was stunted by Shadow being...Well a Shadow. And I wanna explore that more as the series goes on.

1- Lol Green hi thanks for trying to stay calm.

2- Vio's here too. Something tells me calming down isn't working considering your face is cracking more and the tunic is flashing different colors.

3- Shadow I swear to god, shut your mouth-

4- Yeaaaaaah we saw that coming. Ouch looks painful. Good thing that body is magic hahaha.

Link's just not having a good time at all. XD

I think a few people caught this but Link breaking down here was based on the forced gem fusions in SU also the distorted static version of the cartoons from learning with pibby XD

It was good inspo for how horrific this scenario is.

Really all of them are just kinda, shoved in there. Unable to truly escape and they're NOT HAPPY about it.

Blue specifically is trying to get out as we'll know later and we get more context on his thoughts about this ordeal from the Darkblue chapter... But visually you can see Link's got two faces and it remains consistent that that's Blue.

Which, is terrifying.

There's also the underlying horror that the "Why" Link is back in one body isn't truly addressed but we'll get more into that later.

Shadow running for his damn life haha.

I'd be scared too if that mess was crawling at me.

The sad thing is that Link's reaching out for help and Shadow responds by screaming in terror lmfao.

Cause Link seems monstruous at the moment but the reality of the situation is he's very clearly conscious and scared. He's reaching out to the only person he can, which is Shadow.

I think this might be my favorite design of Link in this state. It's just horrific to look at. The eyes bleeding onto both his faces which are cracked like mirrors so you can't tell what he's looking at. He has Vio and Blue's legs sticking out of his back, and entire extra head forcing its way off his main one, it's hard to tell from these but his skin is glitching in both Red and Blue's separate skin tones (Blue's being a bit darker and Red's being lighter)

His tunic is pitch black which, black absorbs all wavelengths of light and reflects none...Literally keeping it trapped haha.

Yeah. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

Anyway, Link/Green, Vio and red are all reaching out to shadow but blue is suspiciously absent haha.

Them grabbing onto Shadow is smth Vio would do...

The four sword's lil gem thingy is glitched to shit too. Each colored piece being a different size. Green's is noticeably larger while Blue and Red's are about the same size. Vio's is the smallest.

Shadow's hat is doing that thing Dark does when he's upset where it clings to his body.

Yeah feeling like you can't do anything would be a feeling you fall into frequently being trapped as a shadow.

Take that agency back Shadow it's been robbed from you for too long.

Blue: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!!

Jokes aside I love this moment. Link getting more stable as he keeps Shadow close to him is sweet.

Link just needed a hug. UwU

Or...Less cute option: Maybe...The triforce of power had something to do with it...

Link/Red crying immediately when Shadow says a single word lmfao.

Link's so pretty I love him. I'm glad he's back a bit.

"Shadow, stop talking." could apply to everything he says to link as of rn. XD

Link's still very much emotionally distressed and I'd be too after THAT SHIT SHOW.

I do think it's funny how Link is wearing black here and Shadow is wearing white. (It's just his usual underclothes without his tunic)

Yes shut up and please just hug him it's clearly what he needs rn Shadow. X'D

Perfect cut off point lmfao.

[abcdosaka]

okay I’m on s4e4 or 5 or something. Just watched kill list.

I take back what I said abt shiv. She doesn’t rly overhype herself that much but she also sort has to bc everyone underestimates her. like she never gets a chance to get involved. I think the problem is she underestimates others. tbh I think she’s as confident and mediocre as Kendall and Roman and all the other white dudes on this show and maybe a little sharper but it’s always pointed out how she apparently isn’t as good as her brothers even though she has a lot to contribute she just seems unwanted and like it’s unfair. She’s awful and I hate her but I also love her. But I also hate her. Kind of a shiv apologist tbh. She’s my favourite characterrrrr

I don’t think she could do anything that would turn me off her forever bc she’s already done some awful shit, prob some of the worst onscreen stuff on the whole show. is it fair to say the show is framed in a slightly misogynistic way and that’s why she has so many haters? bc why are her wrongdoings all over the place but Logan and Kendall and Romans just don’t feel that prominent in comparison? And like why is her sex life and marriage so important but Kendall and Roman and Logan’s kind of aren’t, like they aren’t whole storylines? Or well they are but they’re not that important? Btw I actually love the shiv Tom storyline but they’re the only important marriage in the story

honestly tho i can’t entirely say that’s true I binged from the beginning of s2 to now in like 3 days so I sorta don’t remember everything that was wrong like it’s kind of a blur how many awful things happened so the only things I really remember are Kendall manslaughtering someone and shiv stopping a victim of sexual assault telling her testimony. I guess the show deals with misogyny in a very frank way and so it’s kind of a result that it has that sort of appearance but maybe not. I feel like I’d have to read every episode summary and make a fucking chart or something to tell

also ngl I did shed a tear or two at Logan’s death like mostly cuz of the kids acting making me sad but he was my other favourite characterrrr 😢 i knew it was gonna happen eventually but man good thing the shows ending soon bc he really made a lot of the show so good. His ability to cause drama was immaculate

This might be maybe like the 3rd or 4th show of hour long tv that I actually think I’ll finish. It’s funny I’ve almost never finished watching an entire series of hour long episodes of tv. 30 minutes, sure I’ve seen a ton of those but hour long episodes?? Damn. This show is good. I like it reminds me of when I was addicted to game of thrones and the walking dead but it’s actually like good till the end (at least I don’t think it’s ending badly).

[jangofctts]

mama keida, your hungry bitches now humbly beg for your Thots© on these men and their eating out habits 🥵

oNCE again I have no CLUE which boys ya want but here, tiS under the cut

boba: since I wrote about this I hope YALL WOULD UNDERSTAND thAt when this bitch eats you out he’s gonna EAT YOU OUT. Boba likes to tease a lot before actually putting his mouth on you and so expect a lot of “aw, princess, what's got you so worked up?” or like “I haven't even touched you, little one, and you’re already dripping.” maybe he’ll coat his fingers in your arousal and then suck it off while you just have to watch. SHIT LIKE THAT, HE’S A SMUG MF bc if he’s putting his mouth on you he’S GONNA DO IT HIS WAY. when he actually DOES taste you, he just sucks your clit until youre shaking or begging aND THEN puts his entire mouth over you, isn't afraid of it getting a little messy, esp when Boba wraps his arms around your thighs and just locks you in place so you cant wiggle away. he’s a bit of a biter, so he’ll nip your thighs and very lightly scrape his teeth over your clit. when he FINALLY gives you what you want and lets you cum he just smirks and doesn't stop. he’s a fan of overstimulation and just, pushing you over the edge as many times as it takes for you to start sobbing a bit or just incoherent babbles. once he’s satisfied, his lips and chin soaked with your arousal, he’ll flash you a cocky smile and drag you into a lONG, open mouthed kiss   

din: baby boy. angel man. sweetheart who can do no wrong. since he's a virgin or very inexperienced, he’s very CURIOUS. he’ll be laying between your legs, head resting on your thigh as he run his fingers through your folds. he asks what feels good, sees what makes you twitch/moan or grab at his hair (pssst he likes his hair PULLED). din is a quick learner and so he jumps right in, licks a long line from the base of your cunt all the way up to your clit and sucks for a little. he lOVES when you yank his head closer or arch your hips to get more of his tongue inside of you. din's not afraid of being loud and so, expect to hear little moans/curses/praise--whatever comes into his mind he just says it. imo I dont think he intentionally means to overstimulate you BUT he just cant get enOUGH--addicted to your taste when you cum on his tongue so he just doesn't stop. you have to force his head away and TELL him to stop or else yall gonna be there for hours ngl. he’s lived under armor for so long that every flavor, scent and touch is so fuckiN CRISP for din and so he wants to savor everything before he has to put the helmet back on. (also pLEase CaLL him a good boy--might bust a phat nut in his pants tho so wekejh)    

paz: a fuckin horndog. sit on his face--do IT, in fact he asKS YOU TO. he wants to drOWN in that wap. paz is an ass man and so he loves it when you let him eat you out from behind, or you ride his face reverse cowboy. if you’re into it he’ll stick a couple fingers in your ass while he sucks your clit or has his tongue buried in your cunt. his lips are very wARM and plush so it just feels like HEAVEN. he’s a talker too, wants to tell you how pretty you are or how well youre doing for him, yknow? he ALSO likes when you pull his hair or tell HIM how good he’s doing. paz is a big boy but he’s also a big teddy bear and he just wants to make you feel good. hoWEVER he does have a tendency to edge and or overstimulate you so watch out kekjhrekw  

rex: he jUST wants to treat his baBY--wants to show how good you make him feel by eating you out. I think rex is a bit reserved with telling people how he feels so he likes to show a lot of his love through action. he’ll sit you down on a couch and be on his knees for you while you stroke his face and maybe steal a kiss before Rex gets started. he definitely wants to hold your hand while he does it, scratch that HE NEEDS to hold your hand, needs to feel grounded and loved bc he adores you. it’s very slow and gentle--he’s worshiping every inch of skin his tongue laves over and savors each moan and gasp of his name. his favorite thing to do is suck/lick your clit while he fingers you--rex just likes to feel everything and give you his absolute best. since imo he’s a bit shy with these sorta things you need to encourage him and tell hm what he’s doing right and what you like, yknow? but after a couple times eating you out he’s AN EXPERT. he’s memorized you and uses it to his advantage. after you cum make sure to give him a sweet kiss, soft praise and ofc CUDDLES   

cody: lmfao gOOD LUCK YOU AINT WALKING STRAIGHT AFTER HE’s DONE WITH YOU. nine times outta ten cody will eat you out after he’s fucked you. he literally gives zero shits if his cum is all over you, he just wants his mouth on you IMMEDIATELY. it’s very sloppy and needy, lots of cursing on his part and rumbly groans. he’s a biter too, youre not leaving without his teethmarks or big ol hickeys over your thighs and hips. he you to remember for days (lmfao like you could forget). if you’re a Jedi/senator/whatever, and youre on a mission with him, he’ll 100% pull you into a supplies closet or behind a gunship and eat you out there. he doesn't care if you get caught, he actually thinks it’s funny if one of his brothers walks by and sees you cumming over his tongue and crying his name. he’s DEFINITELY a talker in bed and it mostly consists of him teasing you, that rumbly voice feels like heaven when hums around your clit or asks if you’ll be good for him and cum in his mouth. I also have nO doubt in my mind if you’re being a brat, cody will edge you for hours and then just fuckin leave. he likes to see you squirm..just a bit :)

wolffe: aGGRESSIVE--idk how to explain that other than aggressive but kjrkjehr wolffe bites and digs his nails into your thighs when he eats you out. I feel like he’s a blend between cody and boba with the teasing--he likes to edge you, maybe he’ll eat you out and then leave you at the brink of orgasm, leave for hours, and then come back and overstimulate the fuck outta you until you cry a bit. if you agree, he’ll want to definitely want to wake you up by putting his mouth on you with lazy licks and quiet groans. you should pull his hair too :) he Definitely wont Get Grumpy or Bite Your Thigh. I feel like wolffe could be a spitter, like he’ll spit on your pussy, rub it over your clit and then drag his tongue from the base of your cunt and then all the way up. yknow? he also likes it when you ride his face, doesn't care if he literally cant breath from how hard you’re grinding into him, all that matters is your taste on his tongue and you screaming his name. I feel like when he asks to eat you out it’s another way of showing how much he cares for you, bc like rex, he’s shy with feelings and so wolffe will do little acts of service like this or anything else you wanna try. but anyway, he likes to rip your panties off and just go ham    

[sammydem0n64]

Cornelius and Kenith remind me of each other. Like Idk why but I feel like in a way Cornelius could be like what Kenith became if idk he didn't have some rich ass job or something and was actually kinda decent enough to get a woman to marry. I mean they're both blond dads who are awful and basically shoved their kid(s) aside. Like they're both awful awful people and I feel like are on the same spectrum or something of awful dads I wanna punch and I'm saying ALLLLLL of this because I am trying to say IMAGINE THEM HANGING OUT LMAOOOSNSJNSKSKS like maybe Saff just died or went to prison so now Kenith is crying his eyes out at the bar (he seems like the type to do that) and Cornelius is there and forced to listen as he's just like "Woman aren't anything anyways" as if he wasnt just trying to hit on the bartender or something and IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT THIS THOUGHT IS SO CRAZY YET FUNNY TO ME LIKE??? IMAGINE KENITH'S ONLY LASTING "FRIEND" WAS A MAN EVERYONE BEATS UP FOR FUN 😭😭😭😭😭 SISNSJSKSJSKSNSKSNAKA anyways I think they should both explode thank you for your time SJSJSKKSMSKSA

THIS ASK IS SO FUNNY TO ME OH MY GOD YGUHJKHGFH No bc I honestly sorta see it?? Kenith would never be a deadbeat like Cornelius but if Corn (giving him a nickname I hate him) WAS rich I could honestly imagine he wouldn't leave Marshe, he'd just neglect her and his kids until SHE would be the one to leave his ass and take the kids FTGYIUILKJLH

They're both horrible blond dads that pushed their sons away but PLEASEEEE THEY WOULD *NEVER* HANG OUT TOGETHER... EVEN UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES GIUGHH Kenith's a hypocrite so he'd think Corn's the scum of the Earth and actively avoids him while sitll pretending to be nice GUYUH and Corn would be p jealous of him thanks to the fact he's wealthy and women (Saff) want him,,,

Honestly I can only imagine them being like this;

Kenith: CAN YOU JUST COMFORT ME?? LIKE A NORMAL PERSON??

Cornelius: I did tho??

Kenith: NO YOU DID NOT. You shrugged your shoulders, said "Bitches be trippin" and then got your ass kicked by some woman with pink hair!!

Cornelius: ... Was I wrong about bitches though?? Exactly-

FTGYUIOHKGFHGJJHVB BUT STILL THE IDEA OF THEM INTERACTING IS HILARIOUS HELP

[tariah23]

💕

It was really nice talking with my cousin again since it’s been a while. Wanted to check up on him to cheer him up since this was his Dad after all and we just kept on laughing lol. I have to call my other cousin to see how he’s doing as well. Mom was looking through our picture books and we found some old pics of our Uncle from back when he a kid lol. I was on FaceTime with my cousin and showed him the pics and my cousin was like “Ohhh, my old man. Never saw these before???! I need these- wait, he used to have hair???” Lmfao. My Uncle’s always been Michael Jordon bald ever since I could remember so it was funny to see him have sm hair back then. We even have a baby pic of him as a newborn as well so aw. Gotta send all of the pictures to my aunt since she’s putting the Obituary together and we’re going with a magazine sorta of thing. I broke down a few times today but I’m glad that I didn’t cry on the phone talking with my cousin and I’m glad that I was able to cheer him up. My aunt went to go tell one of his longtime friends that he’d passed and he broke down and all. My shitty Uncle went down there to give him a pic of my Uncle and he put it up in his store (family business) and is raising money for him. He’d been knowing the dude for like 30 years or so. Mom said that he used to have a crush on her but she didn’t like him like that despite him being fine lmfao. She liked his cousin tho 🗿.

[mothmandibles]

talk aboit your ocs right fucking now(any

hi we'll be using tis ask to talk about The Oracle (its/it).

Oracle is a thousands years old entity with the power to accurately see both past and (possible) future(s) . it has decided the best place for it to be is at a circus that is full of ghostbug clowns.

It used to be human sometime in the ancient greek times. while alive, it was an already very talented oracle, however it would keep predicting people's deaths and they all got fed up with its shit (convinced at this point that it was just cursing all of them) , so they banished it to a cave where it had 2 live 4ever. then it just kinda was like #watever man (turns into a ghost) and then started roaming around doing whatever (Well it was going around telling people "hey lol you'll die " n shit and did kind of become the 'grim reaper' of stories n shit) until around ~1800 whic is when Ring (the Ringmaster) (tall guy with a =-) mask face) started really establishing his circus. And oracle was like "damn lol that seems cool. i wanna hang out there."

I mean there is a bit more than just "seems cool" like. 1. oracle was getting bored just going around focusing on people dying n shit . tired of being the Guy who just tells u when ppl r dying. and this Circus was just. mostly Ghosts. so u dont need 2 worry about this 'wellnow i have to see whens the soonest theyll die." . 2. Ring makes bodies n stuff for ghosts (out of like. fabric and stuffing n stuff. like a plushie toys. they're made out of this as well), and oracle wanted in on this deal. 3. oracle could also see th future it would have in this place and got very attached.

see. Ring has like a million kids. Oracle gladly becomes their grandma. (ring in this process gets adopted by oracle which is funny. ring usually adopts Other Ppl . not the other way around.) anyways back 2 oracle it just goes 2 this circus becomes a fun grandma there:) It's very sweet to its grandkids (and will often encourage and help in their little funny pranks and mischief adventures) , and a bit rude to ring. someone has to keep that clown in check. when i say rude it's usually things like "Hey ring. before u make this god awful decision, why dont u think instead about when's the last time u slept. hm? how about u do that first and then tell me if what ur planning to do is smart. :) " (ring. is very stubborn usually hes got a good heart but can be so very stupid sometimes It has a little booth (tht travels around .. almostlike it teleporting lol oracle wat r u doing !) . inside the booth its like full of pillows n stuff , table in the middle where oracle will always have some tea prepared (And it's always something you'll actually like. and drink. :) ) . it offers future readings (it likes being cryptic n stuff about it tho) , looks into the past for folks (its more upfront and blunt about that sorta thing) , and therapy.

To view the future, oracle doesnt need anything. it can just. do that. it will have a crystal ball set up first as a gag for first time folks, and it will then Chuck the ball behind it (the ball doesnt break, since. yknow. pillows) and pulls out a deck of playing cards. While oracle doesnt need anything 2 see future n stuff it does Like shuffling through cards n stuff while it does it. go grandma!

also while im here oracle likes 2 gamble. nothing meaningful, but it cannot resist those damn odds because when it comes 2 something like "whats the outcome of this dice roll", it cant see what the Roll will actually be. It can only see what would happen for each of those rolls. so what the roll will actually be is soooo exciting and tempting Send granny 2 vegas or watever let it have fun watching those numbers roll. !

[c-c-cherry]

Part Four Headcanons!!

@tyriantyrant​ Father...I’m so sorry this took so long...but it is finally here. The moment has come. 

@jjadegreen​ is and always will be my headcanon buddy and she really took the reins on this one because my stupid mushy brain could barely think of ANYTHING. Go check her out. She makes good shit. If you like headcanons you’ll love her. 

Without further ado, join us on this long-awaited half-crack half-serious journey once more:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Okuyasu

-He swallowed a spoon. Like...one of those tiny collector spoons...

-Don’t ask me how Okuyasu managed to do this, but he did.

-He was sitting in his room trying to think of something cool he could do in front of Josuke and he was like 

”Bro what if I did some kickass spoon trick” (Yes, he did find a little collector’s spoon at an antique shop and bought it cause it was shiny)

-It did not go well

-He choked on it for like a solid 2 minutes before he FUCKING SWALLOWED IT and sat there for 15 minutes like “oh shit oh fuck-”

-His dad was just watching from the corner like ;-;

-At first he’s like “ahh it’ll be fine, right?”

-”Right?”

-Then he starts thinking about it a bit more and realizes how fucked he probably is

-He COULD call Josuke but he really doesn’t want to explain to him that he not only swallowed a tiny fucking spoon but he also did it while simultaneously trying to think of something cool to do in front of him

-So he doesn’t call Josuke

-Instead he paces around, trying to think of some solution:

Can I throw it back up or something?

Should I like...drink that stuff that makes metal dissolve? That’ll work, right? Shit wait-

Maybe it’ll just turn out okay?

-His chest is on FIRE and he’s absolutely convinced that this is the end for him

-He calls Josuke

-There are tears...many tears

-Our boy Josuke rushes over and starts freaking out because all he knows is “Oku’s hurt” and when he bursts through the door Okuyasu’s just sitting on the couch crying and Josuke’s just “???”

-He’s the most supportive bro tho and sits down on the couch and is like “oh shit bro did you need emotional healing instead? I gotchu either way” :’)

-He reaches over to hug him and Oku jumps back in a panic and screams “NO DUDE DON’T JOSTLE THE SPOON”

”...”

“..the spoon?”

-He tearily explains the spoon

-It ends with Josuke punching the spoon out of him with Crazy Diamond but he found the entire situation so fucking funny because Oku is so fucking mortified

-he swore not to tell a soul and keeps to his word but he buys Oku a tiny spoon every goddamn chance he gets

Rohan

-Most of the time, Rohan does not embarrass himself

-But sometimes our man slips up a bit and most of the time people don’t notice the dumb shit he does cause he’s always doing dumb shit

-But this is different

-Picture an almost empty house...instant ramen wrappers everywhere...alcohol has been consumed…things have been done...

-Rohan thought this was the best time to answer some of his fan’s FAQ’s (he puts them at the end of every new issue)

-He answers most of them fine but once he comes to the “how tall are you?” question his mushy stupid brain decides to put “about ten inches.” (GOD I'M BEGGING YOU IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE OPEN GOOGLE AND LOOK UP “how tall is Rohan Kishibe?” PLEASE PLEASE I BEG)

-Just for fun

-Because his editor will just fix it, won’t they? Even if he wakes up the next morning and forgets about it, it could never get past the other stages of publishing, right?

-Wrong.

-It manages to slip past every single stage and before he knows it, the latest issue is out and it says he’s almost a foot tall

-He’s reading the one of the newly published copies at breakfast and SPITS OUT HIS FUCKING LUKEWARM SHITTY TEA

-He calls his publisher and just like “uhhh...hey...what the actual fuck guys?” and apparently NONE Of THEM NOTICED??

-They swipe them off the shelves and re-edit them but by now its far too late

-Josuke and Okuyasu have already made jokes about squishing him

-He gets fanart of him being the size of a pencil (which he’s convinced are also done by Josuke and Okuyasu)

-The banned issue where Rohan discloses his supposed “true height” is a novelty collectors item in the manga community now

-This is Rohan’s legacy now. This is how he will be remembered

Josuke

-He wanted to be super edgy when he was around 14

-And what better way to be an edgy 14 year old than with cigarettes??

-The problem is that he’s a literal fucking dumbass and doesn’t know how they work

-Like at all

-He somehow gets his hands on a pack and tries to do it in front of his friends to impress them

-He doesn’t light it. He just...sucks on it??

-He sucks really hard on the unlit cigarette while all of his friends watch and there’s this really long silence and all of them are thinking “yeah is this actually how it works though?”

-Josuke’s like “waitwaitwait I can make smoke come out of it watch” and sucks way too hard on it and IT GETS LODGED IN HIS FUCKING WINDPIPE

-He starts choking because he really really, doesn’t wanna swallow this thing and all of his friends are like “OH SHIT SHIT”

-There’s always that one homie who knows the Heimlich maneuver and on that day, the Heimlich is maneuvered.

-He coughs up a wet cigarette covered in nasty throat juices and his mouth tastes like shit

-He’s still totally shocked about what just happened and just kinda starts laughing but everyone can tell that its forced

-Everyone forgets about it and he’s too embarrassed to tell a soul but the Heimlich kid and him make eye contact in the hallways sometimes and he’s always reminded of that fateful day

-This is the soul reason why Josuke never smoked in high school and probably never will again

Koichi

-This might seem off topic to start but please just bear with me.

-why, for any reason, does Koichi know who joseph is??? Joseph is an American Real Estate agent. Why would a 15 year old Japanese kid be like “oh yeah that famous real estate agent Joseph Joestar”???

-well I present to you the most top tier headcanon: Koichi is a real estate fanboy.

-he planned to be a real estate agent before getting wrapped up into stand shenanigans

-But, being 15 and having REAL ESTATE as one of your biggest interests is not something you really want people knowing, especially considering the fact Koichi is a huge nerdy real estate fanboy for Josuke’s DAD.

-He buys these real estate magazines made for 45 year old men like once a week. They are what he looks forward to every week.

-one time Josuke and Oku come visit and see a magazine on Koichi's bed.

-He totally panics and dives for the magazine and tries to hide it, acting all nervous.

-Josuke and Oku immediately assume it’s a… y’know, NSFW, not for kids magazine.

-Because why would koichi need to be embarrassed about any other kind of magazine?

-So antics ensue of Josuke and Oku pestering koichi about the magazine, teasing him and begging to know what he was hiding

-after a few days, Koichi begrudgingly admits that the magazine is the “SPECIAL JOSEPH JOESTAR INTERVIEW ISSUE” which he bought 3 years ago and has reread countless times.

-Okuyasu laughs really hard and Josuke is like “...you mean my dad.....” and koichi wants to DIE

-They buy him real estate merchandise for his 16th birthday and EVERYONE thinks it’s some kind of joke gift but koichi is internally grateful

Jotaro

-Jotaro is not very good during social situations. That is very obvious.

-but when he hears that Koichi got a girlfriend, he decides he wants to be a cool…uncle? Nephew? Father figure? Mentor?

-so one day, Koichi and Jotaro are chatting while they go on a walk and Yukako walks by

-Koichi blushes and waves at her, she waves too

-Jotaro thinks, ‘alright. Time to show koichi I’m a cool guy’

-as Yukako walks away, Jotaro nudges koichi and sorta smirks

-Jotaro forget a few very important things about himself and Koichi:

-first of all, Koichi is so short, attempting to nudge the kid ended in Jotaro violently jabbing his elbow into Koichi’s skull

-Jotaro is much stronger than he thinks and Koichi, while he can take a hit, is very much weaker than Jotaro

-so an attempt at a simple nudge ends in Koichi being jabbed in the skull, flung into the road by the force of the hit, and hitting his head, hard, on the cement.

-needless to say Jotaro called and ambulance and Yukako tried to literally murder Jotaro

-He ended up with a mild concussion, but no long term damage.

-Jotaro is Not Good At Words so he apologizes in weird awkward ways like buying koichi stuff, quietly handing him 5,000 yen at random times, taking him out on the town, etc...

-Koichi keeps insisting it was an accident and he’s alright, but Jotaro feels AWFUL

-He NEVER lives that moment down in his mind

-It’ll be 2008 and Jotaro is visiting and he’ll just look the newly married koichi in his tiny eyes and say “hmhghggggg is your head ok”

-and koichi is like “IT WAS 9 YEARS AGO MR JOTARO PLEASE”

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

That was a wild ride I’m so sorry

Did ya’ll have a favourite? I gotta say, real estate Koichi is just...Jade, thank you for that...

Have you seen our embarrassing part 5 headcanons yet? If not, go check that out!

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[khaoscontrol]

oh my man you have no idea how much lore i’ve got. you fool, you’ve given me the excuse to infodump about everything!

(sorry this got super long so i’m making a separate post, also it’s 2am so i’m not gonna format this correctly or do literally anything to it)

i’ll start by explaining the timeline, i find it easiest to categorize it by the different versions of maria that exist in the au.

for starters, we have regular old canon maria. her deal is basically the same as in canon up until her death. i really just wanted a “maria lives” au but with a twist. so basically the lore is professor gerald didn’t have a lot of confidence in finding a cure for maria via project shadow so he came up with a plan b which involved creating a machine that could upload someone’s mind onto a computer (mainly because that’s just a sci-fi trope i always liked). of course this was more of a last resort kinda deal, but when g.u.n. raided the ark they didn’t exactly have a lot of options. maria was still shot like in canon and she did physically “die” but gerald managed to upload her consciousness before she actually died. unfortunately the project was still very experimental and maria wasn’t actually able to respond to any of their tests to see if it worked, leading gerald to believe it had failed. thus allowing the plot of sa2 to still happen.

so the next maria in the timeline is cyber maria. this is just the version of maria that’s living in a computer on the ark... ...for 50 years.... ........alone. unlike shadow, she was completely conscious for this entire time which meant an awful lot of time alone with her thoughts. her memories weren’t totally together at the beginning and it takes her an awfully long time to put everything together but once she finally does she’s not quite the same and her personality shifts quite a bit. she still holds the same love for humanity and her family, but she IS tired of being nice, she DOES want to go apeshit! her main beef is with g.u.n. for literally killing her and everything else they did. she’s honestly quite pissed (rightfully so) but she can’t really do anything about it so she honestly just spends 50 years worrying about her family. she doesn’t know if shadow or her grandfather survived after everything that happened and at this point she has no idea how long it’s been.

50 years pass and the events of sa2 take place exactly as they do in canon (can’t fix perfection babey!) and although she’s on the ark, maria has no way of knowing that any of it’s happening. so it’s not actually until a little while after the events of shadow the hedgehog(2005) that anything actually happens maria wise. so the scene is eggman is looking into his grandfather’s research to see if he can get any ideas that would help him beat sonic and co when he comes across the files about the whole plan b project (lmao sorry i don’t actually have a good name for what he might’ve called it). he get’s real curious about it and decides to head back up to the ark and check it out. one thing leads to another and he manages to have a conversation with maria and she’s just thrilled to know that the outside world still exists, she also makes fun of him because “lmfao what kind of name is eggman?” after all she’s still mentally a teenager. eggman mentions that he’s quite skilled in making robots and could build a body for her back on earth and maria is all for ALL of that.

which leads us into metal maria. as soon as she has an actual physical body again eggman explains to her how long it’s been, who he actually is (literally her younger cousin lmao) and a bit of what’s been going on in the worlds, he lets it slip that he may have blown up the moon a little bit and gets thoroughly scolded on that. he also mentions that him and shadow may sorta kinda be enemies and shadow maybe is working for organization that killed her, which every bit of that makes her pissed. she decides to join forces with eggman so that he can help her take down g.u.n. since he’s not exactly on their good side. she also agrees to help deal with sonic on occasion but she doesn’t do much because “what how old is he? like 15 or something? nah dude become mortal enemies with an adult like a normal person.” despite everything, the protective older sister instinct is still strong within her and she’s super against picking fights with kids (especially ones that are friends rivals with her bro) on the subject of shadows friends, she does not like rouge, omega she doesn’t mind as much but still doesn’t like that much. she meets rouge a while before she’s actually reunited with shadow and they don’t exactly have a good first impression. maria assumes that rouge convinced shadow to join g.u.n. “because why else would he do something that stupid, he’s dumb but he can’t be that dumb?” and rouge just doesn’t buy maria’s backstory and assumes eggman only made her to mess with shadow. also rouge is lowkey jealous of maria because she’s got that v good and strong sisterly bond with shadow and DAMNIT she want’s that! so the two of them are basically enemies for a while until maria finally manages to reunite with shadow and he’s honestly just really fed up with them constantly fighting and arguing so their relationship dies down to less of enemies and more of a petty rivalry. also at some point during all that maria decides that metal sonic is also her brother now and there’s nothing he can do about it (spoilers: he actually really enjoys her affection but tries not to show it)

over time maria and metal become kinda a neutral party between sonic and eggman. and honestly with maria’s constant lecturing, eggman kinda tones it down on the world domination deal and becomes more of a dr. doofenshmirtz type villain because it’s funnier that way. (sorry i ONLY make an au if it’s wholesome) he kinda only keeps up the villain gig for the press and because it’s kinda his brand at this point.

which leads us into neo metal maria, 10 years in the future maria takes over the eggman empire. it’s 110% for show. she puts on this big facade of being a villain with megamind level dramatics but she never does anything other than screw over g.u.n., which team dark has long since stopped working with at this point, finally. seriously that sucked what the heck where you thinking sega? whatever i fixed it for them ;)

in the future of this au (which i don’t focus on a whole lot because i like drawing them as a bunch of kids just screwing around, god i’m so smart sega could never) since eggman isn’t a problem everyone’s whole deal is just dealing with other threats and also just a lot of adventuring. every once and a while some old god will try and destroy the world again as per usual and maria will actually step in to help. because of this and the fact that she’s not actually violent, maria is actually quite adored by the public. which is literally her goal, she’s not a villain she’s an entertainer!

and there’s a whole lot more to this au because i actually focus on pretty much every character and how this all plays out for them. i have a different take on how some games played out with her being there (mainly 06 and forces because they’re not great even tho i love them, but her being there made them funny) but yeah i’ve put a LOT of thought into this au and it means a whole lot to me. this is literally just a summary of eveything that happens. over time i’ll expand on this more.

but hot diggity shit, it’s 2am. so i’m just gonna wrap this up with some sketches of the gal!

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 13

humansona time, hell yes

OH MAN I forgot about the stuff w/swerve and blurr oof

that panel of perceptor just saying random equations always kills me vhsdjhfkbjhksdfnka

also I love so much that they call perceptor ‘percy’ that's so cute

I love the implications here that people just Grab minibots and carry them around like luggage bc they are Tiny lmao

ohhhh my god I fuckgin love ‘I'm just wondering if there's time to expand my aura and cleanse the area of aggression’ ‘I...don't think so, drift’ hgbadjfjbaskdfs drift’s hippy nonsense delivered completely seriously pairs hilariously with his whole ‘violent guy with a bunch of swords’ thing lmao

also, IM NEVER OVER CYCLONUS SINGING TO TAILGATE, and also the security team mistaking it for cyclonus murdering tg hbhkjadfbjkhsdf cyclonus u icon

and tg looking at cyclonus all heart-eyes, omg 

drift showing rodimus how to swordfight...fellas.....

rodimus, being entirely ignorant to the irony in calling cyclonus and tailgate’s relationship strange when he and drift are Right There, being weird gay frat bros

did yall know, I love magnus so much. law dad

magnus saying ‘that's not even a word. id have heard of it’ about the word ‘relax’ is so funny god 

rodimus bribing swerve with a bar license to get magnus turnt is hbvhjakdbfhskf

never over rodimus portioning out drifts blood money to the crew for shore leave hubhjsdkhfdbjksd god 

despite tg lying about a good amount of his past, I feel like he rlly DOES see cyclonus as a link to a more familiar time, and that's a large reason why he’s so forgiving toward cyc

mannnn the stuff w/blurr and swerve is so depressing in retrospect. swerve is like, such a depressing character the more you think abt him vbhskjdhfbsk jesus

magnus trying to get in on the convo when swerve starts talking statistics oh magnus

idk what ‘the lube pits’ are but I Really do not want to know

‘the temple of the raging prism’ sounds fuckin bangin tho

I love seeing everyones humansona!! this art style is pretty simple, but I think it looks cute

rungs ‘human name’ being ‘mary sue’ lmaoooooo jro w/the self callout

also skids’ name being blank is a nice touch

still not over tg being a baby....poor guy

whirls humansona is so fuckgin good, also swerve looks like a hobbit

magnus basing his avatar on verity is so sweet ;_; I really should read all the wreckers stuff after I finish this reread

THE ABSOLUTE COMEDY OF MAGNUS JUST FUCKGIN PASSING OUT THE INSTANT THE ALOCHOL HITS...ICONIC

WHY would magnus accept a drink from whirl anyways lmao

tailgate is so cute

they rlly just left magnus facedown on the table and kept drinking huh. the irresponsibility....we love it

ARE YOU SURE THAT KILLMASTER IS DEAD, WHIRL? ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

rung don't lie, froid is your nemesis

WHY do we never get to hear more about skids’ apparent beef with misfire

rewind calling the swerve/misfire This early, wow

literally Everyone abandoning swerve to deal with magnus hgbvhfjdskdfbhs I fucking love this issue man

GOD I LOVE MAGNUS SO MUCH!!!!!!!! he’s such an interesting and unique character and hhhh I love him and his development

like, he was probably the biggest surprise out of everyone who agreed to go on the quest - ostensibly it was to keep order on the lost light, but it would make sense that magnus would get tired of being the Only one who cares about that sorta stuff on board 

drunk magnus is such a delight oh my god

magnus rlly just wants everyone to be safe :( my daddddd

magnus: I love all my children equally...swerve, rodimus, [looks at smudged writing on hand] dirt

swerve: see, magnus, that’s where you’re wrong - I ALSO have crippling depression!

cant believe they bought rodimus a hat vhbhksdfhahsjkdf

HHHHH GOD I FORGOT ABT THATTTT when cyclonus goes bonkers in order to stop rewind from playing the ark 1 footage and inadvertently outing tailgate as a liar....AUGHHHHH THE FUCKING...THE FUCKING ROMANCE OF IT ALL

POOR MAGNUS LMAOOOO

oh rewind :( you should really wonder a little harder where chromedome is right now...oof

everyone jumping on magnus while he’s passed tf out is SO fucking funny 

RUNG, PLEASE, WE REALLY DONT NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHATS AROUND THE CORNER. REALLY DONT

hhhhhhhhhhh I love how cyclonus sat tailgate down and confronted him about lying, but did it privately and not in front of everyone - and he even saved tg from being exposed as a liar, too. AUGH 

I feel like cyclonus is kinda impressed at how effortlessly tg has managed to lie this whole time, and tbh it IS impressive, especially considering tailgate was basically teleported 6 million years into the future and has no idea how the world works anymore, but was still able to lie convincingly. even cyclonus only realized bc of his own past, and not until now

tailgate ;_; ;_; ;_; 

cyclonus: oh no...im soft

tailgate and cyclonus singing ye olde cybertronian tunes together...OUGHHHH my fucking heart bro mY FUCKING HEART.

on that note: the song ‘to noise making (sing)’ by hozier is literally about cygate. thank u for coming to my ted talk

UGH GOD SWERVE STOP MAKING ME SO SAD, ITS NOT EVEN THE SWEARTH ARC YET

magnus had to like, get the robot equivalent of a stomach pumping after that hvbskdjfbhskdf jesus they really did almost kill him huh

I consider this issue forshadowing bc it makes 100% sense that minimus would be a Mega Lightweight considering he’s like 3 feet tall

the real quest that swerve is participating in is ‘the quest to get friends’ and so far its going pretty badly. poor dude 

godddd the thing that says ‘next: Overlord!’ with a fucking exclamation point I DONT APPRECIATE THAT. 

OHO i forgot abt the canon fanfic at the end of this issue

rung kicking things off with some good ole bodily workings-based dread 

ok but being so awed by the construction of your species’ anatomy that you wanna fall on the floor in amazement? that's a whole ass mood and I do frequently stare at walls for long periods of time, thinking about the marvel that is the human body. so rung is valid 

FROID NAME DROP LMAO. also yet again, are you SURE he’s dead?? are you????

the name ‘froid’ cracked me up almost as much as ‘rigor morphis’ did when I first read this...robot-based science puns! woohoo!

rung rlly b out here thinking abt overlords lips.....

‘forced browsing is not the autobot way’ lmao skids

also fr tailgate defs thinks that whirls actually name is nutjob

the entire segment of cyclonus browsing and everyone watching him and commenting is just. golden

oh no. don't make me think of rewind and his tiny memory sticks that he carries around. I'm NOT READY

magnus’ brutal read on rodimus and the fact that he’s more suited, personality-wise, to wartime than peacetime? oof. love it

I ALSO love that a big part of this issue was magnus admitting, in less direct terms, that HE isn't made for the post-war life either - his strict adherence to the rules and constant vigilance isn't exactly the best mindset for peacetime, for him or the people under his command

magnus’s hatred of metaphors and similes and the like....hvbsdjkfbasjhdf I love him

MAGNUS ILY...he’s trying SO HARD cut him some slack. i think his jokes are. yeah!

oh goody this text used "rodimus’s" so I guess that's canonically correct and I haven't been using grammar incorrectly as I had feared 

rodimus sitting ON his desk and doodling on it...adhd icon

rodimus calling rung a psychotherapist, which was rung’s grounds for a nemesis hvbhjabfdskfnkks

rung: as I'm sure you know I take patient confidentiality VERY seriously

narrator: That Was A Lie 

AUGH this hurts...rung trying to get justice for red alert but rodimus is in on the overlord stuff :( ouch

so issue 13! I fucking love this issue. just some good ole funney space hijinks, with some nice relationship development for tg and cyc - plus a revelation about tailgate - and some characterization for swerve and magnus. plus we get to see humansonas, which is always fun. augh I love this comic, and I am SO not ready for the next few issues, good lord

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Little Mercury protege; AU Alive!Freddie Mercury x Malek!teen reader

*Author’s note*

Okay well guys I didn’t get inspired till Freddie’s birthday had passed, so I know this is late but here is a request I think should’ve been done. To the anon who gave me this request, I hope this is what you were wanting. And I hope to all of you who read this get a thrill out of this :)

Okay warnings; FLUFF. bit of angst, racial discrimination (I mean NO OFFENSE BY THIS if this makes you uncomfortable just skip ahead and don’t read the one scene in question), and just personal opinions on a certain fact of another casting choice (if you belong to team S.B.C playing Freddie, please don’t start a war with me on this okay.) 

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

@platawnic

@leah-halliwell92

________________________________________________________

Being the daughter of Rami Malek sometimes has its perks.  I’ve been going with him to premieres, I’ve seen my dad film some of his shows, but now my dad is about to become a legend as he had just gotten the role of one of my favorite lead singers of Rock and roll.  Freddie Mercury.

For the past eight weeks my dad has been in London practicing his piano skills, because he and the rest of the actors would begin to film the first sequence which was the famous Live Aid performance. And since I had to finish up school, he wouldn’t allow me to come visit the set but now that it’s summertime, my jida (grandma) got me my plane ticket to London so that I could visit my dad on set.

After a long night flight, I finally arrived in London and as soon as I came out of the gate, there I saw my dad holding a sign that said.

“Welcome (y/n)” in full decorated lettering colored in with markers, stickers and glitter.  Dad smiled at me and said.

“There’s my girl.” I raced over to him and hugged him and he hugged me back just as tightly. “How was the rest of your school year?”

“It was fine.”

“How’d you do on your finals?” I shrugged and he said. “Oh no, no c’mon now don’t you lie to me. You know I could call your uncle Sami to tell me how you did.”

“I passed dad, got all A’s and B’s.”

“Ehh that’s my girl.” He ruffled my hair and kissed the top of my head. “Wait, are you getting taller?” I giggled and he wrapped his arm around me and guided me away from the gate to the luggage claim.

“So how’s piano lessons going dad? You up to Freddie Mercury standards?”

“Well let’s face it no one except maybe Elton John could match Freddie’s piano skills, but I’d say I’m up to it darling.” I fangirled a bit and said.

“God you can’t drop the mannerisms can you?”

“Guess even off camera I find myself doing minor Freddie things.”

“But it’s so awesome that they picked you to play Freddie, I can’t wait to see you in full getup. So are the cast friendly?”

“Yeah we’ve really bonded with each other very well. Especially the band and I. It’s like we’re the new generation of Queen.”

“Who all’s playing the rest of the band?”

“Ahh now that is a surprise.” I whined out. “Don’t pout you’ll meet them once we get to set. We’re gonna film Live Aid later today once the weather’s just right.”

“I can’t wait.”

“I know you can’t. You’ve made me watch that footage every Live Aid anniversary since you became a fan of Queen.” We arrived at baggage claim and we waited till my suitcase finally came out.  He grabbed hold of it and guided me out of the airport and the two of us hopped into a car and drove off to set.

Since this was my first time in London, you know as any tourist I had to take pictures of what I could.  The Big Ben clocktower, the London Eye, the many statues, everything and anything in between.

Finally after about a 2 and a half hour drive, we finally arrived at an abandoned lot where I could see hundreds of people running around a mock stadium.

“So this is where you guys are gonna be filming?” I asked.

“Just for Live Aid. The original stadium was torn down so our brilliant set design team found this area and built Wembley stadium from the ground up. You’ll get a better look at it once you see if from the front.” I ahhed in understandment and that’s when our car stopped and he said. “You ready to see everyone?”

“A little nervous too.”

“Don’t worry darling, everything will be alright. You trust me?” he held out his hand for me.

It was a common thing he’s done to help ease my nervousness, and yeah we did kinda steal it from Aladdin but hey it works.

“Yes.” I said as I reached out for his hand and he helped me out of the car.

“Just stay close to me and you won’t get lost among the volunteers and workers.” I held his hand and he guided me towards the stadium.  We went around it and when I finally got a good look at it, I was just in awe.

“Whoa.”

“Pretty cool huh? So does it look like Wembley stadium?”

“It’s…..it’s like we’re actually there. And you said they built it from the ground up?”

“Yeah. Did it all while the guys and I were practicing our instruments. C’mon I need to get to makeup anyways so might as well show you that during our tour.” He then guided me over away from the stadium and we went into this large van-like trailer and there I saw rows of chairs and makeup areas.

“Ahh Rami glad to see you’re back.” A voice said. When I looked up, I thought I was actually looking at Brian May back during the original live aid.  God this guy he—he’s practically Brian.

“Yep, traffic wasn’t too bad getting out of the airport.”

“So is this your daughter?” the Brian look alike asked.

“Yes. (Y/n) this is Gwilym Lee, our actor for Brian May. Gwil this is the light of my life, (Y/n).”

“It’s so good to finally meet you (y/n). Rami would not stop talking about you. I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks.”

“Really, well here I am. And can I just say that you look—exactly like Brian May.” Both my dad and Gwilym chuckled and he said.

“Thank you, I only hope Brian himself approves. I’m told that Queen’s gonna be coming here to watch us perform.”

“Wait—Queen’s coming here? As in all four members?”

“Yep.” Oh shit. “So I hope we all don’t screw up, that’d be the next big disaster.”

“I’m sure we’ll do fine Gwil.”

“Yeah well see you on set. Nice meeting you (y/n).” He and I shook hands with each other and then he left to probably get into wardrobe and costuming.

“Alright Rami, you’re turn.” One of the makeup artists said.  My dad sat down and he got fitted into his wig and got his makeup done.  It wasn’t until he put the teeth in and the famed mustache, that I swore it was like my father was actually Freddie Mercury and not Rami Malek.  Once he was done he turned around and said.

“Well darling what do you think?”

“You look—amazing dad.”

“Thank you, you lovely darling.” Okay now he was really getting the mannerisms done, god I love it when my dad gets committed to a role.

“Right now I need to get into my costume and then we’ll head out to punch a hole in the sky. What do you say dear?”

“Lead the way, Freddie.” I said.  He wrapped his arm around me and we were now heading to the costume trailer.  He got into the famed Live aid Freddie outfit of the white tank-top, jeans, Adidas black and white sneakers, and the diamond encrusted black armband.

Okay it’s official, I am Freddie Mercury’s daughter.

In full get up my dad had not only acted the part but also looked exactly like Freddie.

We were now heading for the stage where I saw Gwilym talking with another man who wore a should length blonde haired wig and wore the Roger Taylor white shirt and black pants.  He was twirling around some drumsticks and that’s when the two of them turned towards us.

“Wow, you look awesome Rami.” The actor playing Roger said.

“Rami? I’m only Freddie darling.” I playfully giggled and rolled my eyes at him.

“And I assume this is your daughter?” he asked again.

“Yep, that’s (y/n). (Y/n) this is Ben Hardy, he’ll be playing Roger Taylor.” Gwilym introduced us.

“It’s great to meet you at last (y/n).” the actor known as Ben held out his hand and we both shook hands.  Now I’ll admit I don’t know why they gave him the wrong wig but he did sorta resemble Roger to a degree.  I’ll just have to wait and see how he portrays Roger in the film before I make any quick assumptions.

Suddenly I was picked up by the waist and twirled around.  I shrieked and told whomever it was that was spinning me around to put me down.

“Ahh now that’s no fun. Is that anyway to treat your favorite uncle?” Oh my god it—it couldn’t be? I quickly turned around to see a big ball of fluffy brown hair but I knew those eyes and that sunshine smile anywhere.

“Uncle Joey!” I exclaimed as I turned and hugged him. He laughed and embraced me in those big arms of his giving me a big bear hug.  He laughed as he spun me around and pressed a big kiss to my cheek.

See I had known the famed child actor Joe Mazzello since I was 5 years old.  Just shortly after my dad had gotten a role in the HBO series ‘The Pacific’, my mom got into a car accident by a drunk driver and was killed before she even got to the hospital.

I was devastated as was my dad.  Since my uncle Sami was too busy to take care of me at the time and figuring out that I needed my father now more than ever, my grandma and auntie sent me to be with my dad.  

I was so quiet and barely spoke a word, all I did was just sit far away and cry.  It was then I had met Joe, he said he hated seeing kids cry so he tried to make me smile by telling me some jokes of showing me funny cat videos.  Amazingly it did make me feel a bit better, at least got me to smile since the accident happened.

As my dad and Joe became closer with each other and soon became best friends, I got to call Joe Mazzello my uncle Joey. And since we were all in New York, anytime my dad had to go away to film something, nine times out of ten Joe was the one to babysit me until my dad got back.  

Fun little fact, he’s the one who introduced me to Queen during filming of “The Pacific”.  He set me back down and I exclaimed.

“You’re in the film too?!”

“Of course, I thought your dad told you.” I turned to my dad and he briefly broke character as he said.

“I wanted to surprise you. Figured it’d be nice to know that I wasn’t the only one you’d know in this film.”

“So you’re playing John Deacon?”

“Yep, I can’t believe I even made the cut myself, I was stressing out like you wouldn’t believe it. And all they wanted was to hear my accent.”

“God I just gotta say, like Gwilym you—look exactly like John Deacon.”

“I know, so much so that I just had to ask my mom what she was doing in 1983, whether or not she was in London or anything.” I chuckled and hugged him as I said.

“Ahh I’ve missed your dorkiness uncle Joey.”

“Hey it’s not dorkiness, it’s coolness that people wish they could have.” He said as he gave me a playful noogie. “So tell me what’s been up with you in the last two years since I’ve seen you?”

“Well I’m about to go into high school.”

“Get out of town!” he teased.

“No seriously.”

“Oh my god where has the time gone? When I first met you, you were in the middle of kindergarten and now you’re going into big bad high school. Why couldn’t you just stay that adorable little girl that used to hang around my waist and that I could cradle in my arms?” he leaned his forehead against mine and gave me a gentle and loving peck on my nose.

“Sorry uncle Joey, I had to grow up.”

“Noo! I’m Peter Pan and I forbid you from growing up anymore!”

“Alright you big softie layoff her.” Ben said.

“Shut it Benjamin!”

“Okay guys, they’re pulling in now to see the performance. Get into positions.” At this point all four men including my dad were really starting to feel the nerves.

“Who votes for hiding at this point?” asked uncle Joey. All three of them raised their hands and soon we all took off running.

I don’t know how it happened, maybe with a sharp turn or maybe my grip slipped from my uncle Joey’s hand but as we went to hide from the arrival of the band in question, I ended up separated from my dad and his friends.

And since the set was so big, I didn’t know where they could’ve gone.  I kept trying to go down a hallway but it only lead me further and further down more corridors and hallways.  God the production team wasn’t fooling around when they got every single detail down.

That’s when I bump into someone.  I was taken back as I quickly apologized but when I finally looked up to see just who it was that I bumped into, that’s when I just felt the deer in headlights freeze come over me.

For standing there before me was the legend and my number one idol in music, Freddie Mercury.  He may have looked much older than he used to back in the day long before my time, his once raven black hair now greying like snow on the road but he still held that famed spark of a true showman even at the age of 70.

“Well hello there darling. A young newbie groupie welcoming committee.” He said with that famed smile of his.  He gently ruffled my hair which made me blush but I couldn’t help but smile.  But it wasn’t until I noticed that he was also referring to my Queen t-shirt that uncle Joey got me as a birthday present last year and I wrapped my arms around the pictured embarrassed.

“Now, now there’s no need to be ashamed love. It just means you’ve got good taste.” Roger spoke up.

“Alright you two no need to embarrass the girl further.” Deacy said.  It was then Brian stepped up and asked me.

“What’s your name love?” Oh my god Brian May just called me love.  Though I’ll never admit it, when I was little I did have a bit of a crush viewing some of Brian’s old videos.

“(Y/n). (Y/n) Malek.” I said shyly.

“Malek? You don’t mean like the same Malek dear that’s playing me would it?” I nodded and he said, “Oh that’s perfect. Have you any idea where your father is (y/n) dear?” I shrugged.

“I—I sorta lost them I guess.”

“They wouldn’t happen to be hiding from us would they?” asked Roger.  I shrugged and remained silent.

“Well I think we’ve got the perfect leverage to get them out, wouldn’t you agree lads?” Deacy said.  Oh I did not like where this was going.

I was then guided by the four senior band members up onto the actual stage where I saw crew members running about and extras getting their markers on where each person should stand.

“So we came across this lovely young lady while getting the layout backstage, and I know she was in proximity to the young actors portraying us.” Freddie exclaimed loud enough so that the people on stage could hear.

“And we did come such a long way it’d be a shame to not see the young men in full shtick after taking such time off our hands.” Brian said.

“So if you young boys would kindly come out we’d greatly appreciate it.” Answered Deacy.

“If not then we’ll just keep the girl hostage until you lot decide to come out.” Roger playfully threatened.

“NO DON’T TAKE HER!! SHE’S JUST A CHILD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!” I heard my uncle Joey proclaim.  It was then coming out from behind the flaps of the stage, were my dad, uncle Joey and Gwilym and Ben.

“Ahh so there they are. Knew using this lovely darling would get you four to come out of hiding.” Freddie teased which caused all the guys to blush or look away.

The four legends of Rock and roll then walked up towards their counterparts and studied them carefully.  Brian looked like he had went through a time relapse as he stared at Gwilym Lee.

“Bloody hell it’s like looking at me former self, but….” He then began adjusting the hairline of the curls slightly as he said, “The curls actually go this way.” I softly giggled and that’s when I noticed John Deacon stand before my uncle.

“Not bad, I must say you—you definitely resemble me to a T.”

“Believe me Mr. John Deacon sir I—I couldn’t even believe it myself, but the second the wig came on it was—mind blowing.” John smiled and said.

“It’s almost like in a way you’re a long lost child of mine.” Right? Roger was looking at Ben and he even agreed there were some critics but he knew it wasn’t Ben’s fault, mostly blame hair and makeup but Roger did give his sign of approval.  But when he said he couldn’t wait to hear Ben play the drums, that’s when I noticed Ben went a bit pale.

And now the moment of truth was when I turned towards my dad to see Freddie circling around him like a lion circling its prey.

“A bit skinner than I was, different eye color but hell I always wanted to have blue eyes. But like Brian and Deacy they chose the right one. At least you’re a lot better than that previous actor they tried to get to play me. God what an arsehole.”

“It’s an honor Freddie Mercury, I know I wasn’t the best choice but—”

“Oh don’t be so humble Rami darling. You already look the part, now I look forward to seeing you act the part. Cause of course no one is as outrageous as me.”

“Alright lads. We’re all set up. We’re ready to film the entire Live Aid sequence from start to finish.” Dexter came up with his cup of coffee.

“Go kill em boys.” Brian wished them all good luck. Dad came up to me and he gave me a hug and a kiss.

“Ready to see Live Aid?”

“I’ve been waiting nine years to see this dad. You guys are gonna kill it out there.” The guys went behind the flaps for their cue to rush on out, but then just before I could step aside in the wings to watch that’s when Freddie said to me.

“Hold on darling, come down and watch it with us. You’ll get a much better angle than from the stage.”

“Ohh I couldn’t impose on you four I—”

“Nonsense love, c’mon I know your dad would want to see you clearly as he performs.” Roger insisted.  Okay who was I to deny them? I then walked down the steps with them and we watched at the lower level of the stage as everyone was getting into their final places.

“Alright guys full run through. No stopping. Extras cue your cheering!” The crowd began to cheer. “Sound! Roll camera. And……action!” Soon my dad and the rest of the band came running out on stage causing the cheering to go louder.  I even cheered along as I took out my phone and couldn’t help but take a few pictures of my dad, uncle and their new friends in full getup.

Then the run through began.  Even with the actual audio from Live Aid rolling since my dad couldn’t sing a tune, it was still amazing to see him actually playing the piano of Bohemian Rhapsody and uncle Joey playing the bass.

I briefly turned to look at the four rock gods and they all looked amazed, it was like they had jumped back in time to see their greatest performance for themselves.  Brian especially couldn’t believe his eyes and same thing with Freddie.

As promised by Dexter it was the full run through of Live Aid.  Once Radio Gaga came on, I couldn’t help but participate in the claps, and I noticed that not only the extras but some of the crew members who were behind the stage or even behind the camera were participating.

The Aye-oh’s, Hammer to fall, Crazy little thing called love, We will rock you, and We are the champions.  And just seeing my dad up there becoming Freddie Mercury, it was unbelievable.  

The dedication he had put in to becoming this legend whom I have always looked up to throughout my whole life.

By the end of the run through, I was cheering so loudly that if I were to turn around along with them applauding for a well performed first take, Queen was smiling at me seeing my excitement and pure joy.

When the guys walked backstage, I immediately raced over once Dexter called cut to find my dad.  Once I spotted him I immediately raced over to him and glomped him in a hug.

“That was amazing daddy! You guys slayed it!”

“Thank you baby girl.”

“You were amazing up there.”

“Well that’s because I knew you were watching.” I giggled and hugged him again.

“Ohh I see go hug your dad but no love for your uncle.” Joe teased.

“Ohh uncle Joey.”

“No, no, no I see how it is. I’ll just continue to go through the film being neglected from my favorite snuggle-cuddle bunny.” He said as he crossed his arms over his chest, turning his back on me.

“Snuggle-cuddle bunny?” Ben and Gwilym gaped.

“Yeah see when she was just five during our filming of the Pacific whenever she got too tired, she’d always cuddle up close to me. And since she always had this pink bunny wherever she went I dubbed her snuggle-cuddle bunny.” I blushed embarrassedly.

“I will cling onto you for the rest of the time I’m here if you take that back.” I pleaded.

“Not a chance kidda-roo.” He pulled me into his arm and playfully gave me a noogie.

“Well done boys, that was phenomenal.” We turned around to see all four members of Queen standing before us.

“They definitely chose the right boys for the job. I can’t wait to see what else we’ve got planned here.” Roger said.

“Seeing that performance brought me back to the real Live Aid concert. Well done lads.” Said John with a warm smile.

“You four lovely darlings. It’s like you four were born for the stage, just like all of us. Work your magic just right and you could be the next generation of Queen. You look the part and now you sound the part. Especially you Rami you beautiful darling.” Freddie then walked up to my dad and gave him two kisses, one on each cheek.

From then on the filming commenced with the final approval of Queen seeing my dad and the rest of the cast in full shtick.

As the weeks went on and they were starting to film the Rockfield farm scenes, I was in the building since everyone was on a break before filming would begin.  I sat down by the piano and lightly stroked the keys.

I then raised my hands and I played the first Queen song I had ever learned “Somebody to love”.  I did a bit of vocalizing before finally singing the song.

Each morning I get up I die a little Can barely stand on my feet Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord, what you're doing to me I’ve spent all my years in believing you But I just can't get no relief, Lord! Somebody (somebody) somebody (somebody) Can anybody find me somebody to love?

“I know you’ve got more soul than that darling.” I ceased my playing to see Freddie standing behind me. He walked over and sat on the piano bench beside me and continued, “Don’t hold back, let it out.” He then picked the song back up and stared at me nodding for me to go on.

I went straight to the bridge where I would usually give the song as much soul as I could.

Got no feel, I got no rhythm I just keep losing my beat I'm OK, I'm alright I ain't gonna face no defeat I just gotta get out of this prison cell One day I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) somebody (somebody) Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I guess my nerves made me repeat the last couple lines that really belonged in the first and second verse, but as Freddie nodded along to the song, he looked like a proud teacher watching his student succeed, especially when I made that key change on the ‘love’.

And what was even more amazing; was when Freddie actually joined in singing my favorite Queen song with me.  He first played off of my at the beginning but by around the middle, the two of us blended out voices together in perfect sync, while at the same time the two of us were playing the piano.

(She works hard) Everyday (everyday)

I try and I try and I try But everybody wants to put me down They say I'm going crazy They say I got a lot of water in my brain Ah, got no common sense I got nobody left to believe in Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

As he continued playing the piano I quickly grabbed the first guitar I could and began playing Brian’s solo.  Not only was I good with the piano, I was also fairly decent with the guitar.  I mean I can only play a few songs on guitar but Somebody to love, I could practically play every instrument cause I can just hear the tune in my head.

We then sang the repeated mantra and just to add a little spice I began to vocalize. Going up and sliding perfectly down or going from a low to a high rang. By the end of it, I took over the last two lines.

Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me….

*Me*

Somebody to……

Love.

*Both*

Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love Find me somebody to love

By the end of our playing, all I heard was the sound of an applause.  There standing behind us were some of the crew, the producer Graham, Dexter the director, Brian, Deacy, Roger, my dad and the rest of the cast.

Freddie stood up and gestured towards me and the applause seemed to get louder.  I even heard some whistles that you could only hear at a rock concert.  

That’s when my dad came over to me and embraced me as tight as he could and peppered kisses all over my face, repeatedly telling me he was so proud of me.

Later on that day I was out on the deck sitting on the stoop of the house.

“I was wondering where you had gone off to since our duet. Figured you’d want to be basking in the praises.” I smiled and said.

“I don’t want to get a big head full of ego. I deal with that at school already from those who think they’re richer than me.”

“I understand that well darling. Little children can be bastards can’t they?” I hummed in agreement.  “You really do have an amazing gift (y/n). Why don’t you share it with those who don’t know you?” I looked down solemnly.

“Well Freddie…..how can one share their gift when they look like me?”

“What the fuck are you talking about dear? All I see in front of me is a blossoming young woman who is not only beautiful but talented as well.”

“It’s not about beauty Fred, I know I’m beautiful it’s just….I’m the wrong skin color.” He paused and just stared at me, urging me to go on.  “I—I did try to perform once at my 6th grade talent show. But just before I could play I heard one boy cry out ‘why’s the terrorist playing the piano? I thought they played bombs?’ It…..it was just after the suspected suicide bomber tried to sneak into the New York subway but was detained and stopped. I couldn’t even perform after hearing that. Took me a whole weeks before I had the courage to go back to school.”

I sniffled and tried not to cry in front of the frontman of Queen.  But I felt him rub my back as I continued.

“If middle school was that bad, I can only imagine just how worse high school’s gonna be. My dad was mistreated and bullied during his school year. So that means I will be too, and not just physically but online too possible.” I felt a few tears fall from my face, until a finger wiped them away.

“My darling (y/n). If there’s anything you should listen to me on, it’s this. People can be utter little shits. Some people still stick with the ancient ways of thinking, that if you’re not their skin color then you aren’t worth their time. Believe me, I’ve had racial slurs being shouted at me, both on and off stage. What you can do, is look them in the eye and say fuck you. Because I know who I am. And I don’t let anyone define who I am as a person. Because people who talk down to you like that, have got no future ahead of them. You on the other hand my dear, I could see you getting a gold disk by the time you’re 19 with that voice of yours. Hell you’ll surpass both Elton and I with the way you play the piano.”

“Well I don’t know about that.”

“Of course you will. If Sharon heard you, she’d be begging on her hands and knees to let you perform alongside them.” I looked at him confused.  “Oh that’s our drag queen alter egos to each other. I’m Melina and Elton’s Sharon.” I ahhed in understandment.  “So darling, you can either do two things; One you can take those comments and let them control your life. Or like your father step out there and show the world just who (Y/n) Malek really is. From how your father’s been portraying me in this film, I have no doubt that that lovely darling is going to win so many awards, including the famed Oscar. And soon enough little girls that are Arabic and Egyptian will look up to you and say when you win your first Grammy ‘is she could do it, so could I’.” I smiled at him and said.

“You really think so?”

“I know so darling. I believe you’re going to go far in the music industry one day. Or whatever you choose in life, it don’t have to be music if you don’t want it to be. But if you are ever interested, when you’re a little older the lads and I would love to have you as an opening act for our tours.”

“Wow that’s—it would be an honor Freddie.”

“You deserve it you lovely darling.” He said as he gingerly ruffled my hair.  “Now (y/n) I have to ask you because every fan has expressed this especially through a website called Tumblr.”

“You know Tumblr?”

“Still trying to get a grasp of it, mostly I just look at it for the cat pictures to see if I could get in contact with some good photographers for my lovely children back home.” He fully turned towards me and continued, “Of course you can choose not to answer it. Though I feel like if you don’t answer it though, it’ll only prolong…..”

“What is it Fred?” I laughed out.

“Who amongst us four aging Queens do you favor most?”

“Trying to make me be the bad guy.” I mocked.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well that’s what that question means.”

“No I—just wanted to know if you have a preference.”

“So that you can get a bigger ego if it’s you?”

“So it’s me?”

“No Freddie. You maybe my idol but that doesn’t automatically mean you take the number one spot.”

“So not one of us has that special place in that golden heart of yours?” I lightly scoffed and said.

“Well…..”

“Ah-ha I knew it! So c’mon just tell me. Think of my as one of your little girl friends gossiping in gym class, I won’t squeal I promise.” I groaned as I buried my head into my lap.

He wasn’t gonna let this go, I can feel it. But if I didn’t I knew he’d just keep pestering and pestering until I finally cracked.  I then softly muttered the name of my favorite Queen member.

“Huh?”

“Brian.” I muttered slightly louder.

“I’m sorry love you’re gonna have to speak up. Me old ears aren’t what they used to be.” I smelt bullshit on that statement.

“Brian, okay it’s Brian.” I said to him.  Freddie grinned and said.

“I sorta had a feeling. You always seem a bit more shyer than Deacy whenever our smart animal loving, spaceman guitarist is around.”

“Just promise me you won’t say anything to him!” I pleaded.

“No worries darling, my lips are sealed.” I sighed with relief. “Now how’s about I teach you how to play Bohemian rhapsody? Your uncle Joe told me of how you once tried to play it but couldn’t get the keys right.” He stood up and held his hand out to me.

I took it and he lead me towards the other side house where my dad would be playing the song in question for a brief moment in the film.

I’ll say that never did I imagine that I would get an actual piano lesson from the Queen legend himself.  But here I am at the piano with Freddie Mercury sitting beside me teaching me how to play his famed song, the baby that changed the way music was ever made forever.

However little did I know of the ultimate embarrassment that I would have within the next couple of days.  Right now everyone was filming the guitar solo recording as well as the operatic session of Bohemian Rhapsody.

But what was fun was that we actually got the real Brian May to step in while uncle Gwil stepped aside and we allowed Brian to play his guitar solo in the song, just for the fun of it.

I was in awe as I leaned against the arm of my chair and just let Brian’s red special take me away on a flight across the galaxy.  When the solo ended, uncle Gwil stepped back into the shot and I heard my dad say as Freddie.

“That’s brilliant. I love that.”

“So now what?” asked Gwil as Brian.  My dad took a beat before saying,

“The operatic session.” Both uncle Gwil and Brian May nodded as I could hear Gwil say.

“Ahh the operatic session. Good.”

“Of course.” Brian spoke in the same tone as Gwilym did.

Oh god it was so uncanny of how similar these two were at this point.  They definitely chose the right actor to play my favorite Queen member.

When break time came around and I was getting a snack from the snack table and drinking some water.  I soon heard a voice say.

“Hello (y/n).” I choked briefly on my water as I turned to see Brian standing there. “Sorry love I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay. Just went down the wrong pipe is all. I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m good. What—what are you I mean….” Oh god why am I so starstruck right now in front of him.  You’re making a fool of yourself (y/n)!

“It’s okay (y/n). There’s no need to be shy around me. Beyond the titles and glamour I’m just like every other man my age.” Yeah except the fact that you’re not only a rock god but a brilliant astrophysicist as well as animal organizer.

That’s one of the main reasons why I had followed his Instagram because I loved getting the updates on all the animals he posts up and interacts with.

“So what do you think of the film so far?” he asked me as he took a seat beside me on the empty chair.

“It’s amazing. I mean I’ve been to sets before with my dad like the Mr. Robot, the Pacific where I met uncle Joey over there, but this—this is unlike anything I’ve seen. And just the fact that you guys are allowing young fans like me to see your story from the beginning.”

“Yeah we were on the fence about but we knew that if we all didn’t get involved with the project then it wouldn’t get done right.”

“I’m glad you guys get to come visit whenever you’re not busy doing your concerts.” I shyly admitted.

“Well thank you (y/n), that’s very sweet of you to say.” I lightly blushed and twirled my water bottle around letting the water spin around.  “You know funny thing Fred told me the other day. He said he had talked to you and asked you about who your favorite Queen member was.”

Oh fuck no.

“FREDDIE!!” I screamed as loudly as I could.  It was the both my dad and the real Freddie peeked out from behind the booth saying.

“Yes?”

“I mean the real Freddie dad! Why did you tell him!? You swore you wouldn’t!?”

“Word of the wise darling, never trust me with a juicy secret. Especially when it regards to secret crushes or fancies.” I groaned and felt my face glow red in embarrassment.

“Aww (y/n) look at you, you’re like a little pouty tomato.” Uncle Joey teased in his John Deacon get up.  I turned away and hid my face as the guys all continued to awe at me.  It was then I was brought into a big but gentle bear hug from Brian himself as he said.

“No need to be embarrassed love. I’m flattered.”

“Okay that’s it, this calls for a photo it’s too damn adorable.” Uncle Joey proclaimed.

“Took the words right out of my mouth, Joe.” My dad said.  I was humiliated! Soon enough pretty much everyone of the guys needed a picture of this but that’s when Ben said.

“Wait! I’ve got a better idea. Gwil get in there.”

“Ooo good thinking Benjamin, what’s better than one Brian May?” uncle Joey awed.

“Two Brian Mays!” they both exclaimed.

“I hate you guys!” I whined out.

“Now, now mind your uncles (y/n) they mean well.” Brian said to me.

“Besides, we’re always happy to indulge our number one fan.” Gwil spoke as Brian.

“Great minds think alike.” Praised Brian.  Soon I had uncle Gwil to my left and the real Brian May to my right.  Each of them had their arms wrapped around me and leaned down against me as everyone took out their phones.

Suddenly I felt both of them kiss each side of my cheeks and that’s when my heart really sped up and I felt like I was gonna explode. But of course everyone just awed at how adorable I was.

“Oh my god (n/n) you look so freakin adorable. This is so going on my Instagram.” Uncle Joey said.

“Post that pic and you’re dead Mazzello!” I threatened.  I then chased after him and he took off running. “Give me that phone! You’re dead Mazzello!”

“Jesus someone get this raptor off of me!” I managed to hop onto his back and reach for his phone but he kept drifting left or right trying to avoid my reach as his arm extended as far as he would allow it.

As the summer began to draw to a close, unfortunately I couldn’t stay in England anymore because I was about to go back to school in just four weeks.  

So a week just before open house started, I had gotten my ticket and was ready to take the non-stop flight from London back to New York.

My dad, uncle Joey and newly deemed uncle Gwil and uncle Ben as well as Lucy, my dad’s new girlfriend came to bid me a final farewell till the award seasons would begin come around Winter break.  I was currently hugging uncle Gwil as he said to me.

“Hope to see you for the award shows love. Good luck in high school.”

“Thanks uncle Gwil.” I then turned to uncle Ben and he said.

“You know you don’t need an invitation, come here.” I giggled and he wrapped me up in his strong arms. “Have a safe flight back to the states love.”

“I will uncle Ben. Send me more videos of your drumming, maybe one with you and Rog together.”

“We’ll try and arrange it.” He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and that’s when uncle Joey said.

“I don’t know whether to feel squishy or be jealous.” We both laughed and I said.

“Don’t worry uncle Joey. You’ll always be my favorite uncle.”

“Oh no I was actually referring to Ben.” I faked a gasp and punched him in the arm making him cry out. “I’m kidding squirt! God you’ve got a strong arm, when did you get so strong?” I rolled my eyes at him and hugged him.

“Bye uncle Joey.”

“See yah soon kiddo. I expect a call every single night and a facetime after your first day of high school. I don’t care what time it’ll be, I will freakin answer it and have these three with me to chat with you about your first day.”

“I’ll call and text you, don’t worry.”

“You better.” He bopped my nose before giving me a long, wet kiss right on my cheek.  I groaned and whined out as I wiped away the access spit while he just looked at me all innocently.  I then turned to my dad and Lucy.

“Take care of my dad while I’m gone.” I said to Lucy.

“Don’t worry I’ll make sure he doesn’t work himself too hard. It was great to finally meet you (y/n), and thank you for your approval of us.”

“You’ve made my dad happier than I’ve seen him since mom. It’s…..just like Freddie and Mary were, you are the love of his life. And I can see that.” She smiled and the two of us hugged each other before I turned to my dad.  He brought me into his arms and he said.

“Be sure to text me as soon as you land okay?”

“I will I promise. Thanks for letting me stay the summer dad. I know you’re gonna do great come award season.”

“All I care about is that you’re proud of me and that you’re happy about the project.”

“I am.” He cupped each side of my face and kissed the center of my forehead.

“Last call for flight 5487621 nonstop to New York City.” We heard over the intercom.  I grabbed my bag and bid my family a final farewell and they waved goodbye to me as I handed the gate keeper my ticket and boarding pass.  

He accepted it and allowed me to walk in with the flight attendant who would keep an eye on me throughout the flight since I was an unaccompanied minor.

She lead me to my seat and helped put my luggage up along the ceiling console.

“If you need anything else, just ask for the name Tabitha.”

“Thank you Tabitha.” I thanked her and she smiled as she walked off.  I then went into my purse to take out my phone to turn it off but before I did, I noticed a group chat with four numbers I didn’t recognize.  I unlocked my phone using my passcode and opened up my messages to see the following.

Hello (y/n), this is John Deacon. I hope you have a safe flight. It was wonderful to getting to know you, and you have so much talent to give to the world. Good luck with your final young years of school before you move on to university. I know you’ll soon go far in life if you stay as you are.

And….Always be happy 😊

I smiled as I read the next message under that.

Hey lovie,

It was so great to meet you, you’re sweet, loving, and have an ear for talent. Thank you for being a fan of ours and for always supporting us.  You’re an amazing kid (sometimes I wish my own were like you at your age hehehe) anyways thank you for coming to visit us and see the filming. You made our days brighter whenever you were on set. Good luck with high school and crush all those bastards who think you can’t make it. I’ve got a solo single coming out soon and you shall receive the first copy signed by yours truly.

Rock hard and….havealovely flight, bye 😉 Roger Taylor

He even gave me the drum emoji and I couldn’t help but smile as his final farewell sounded like the old fan club message they gave in 1991.  I scrolled down again and I saw the next message.

Hello (y/n)

I hope you have a safe flight back to the US and that you enjoyed seeing London for the first time.  It was great to meet you and as the previous two have said, you are talented.  I know eventually you’ll make it big in whatever you do.

Also thanks for the lovely support you’ve helped given to some of my animal organizations, I greatly appreciate it. You are a kind soul and I know that you’ll grow up to be an even kinder young woman. Lots of love from me and safe journeys home my number 1 fan.

-Bri.

I blushed.  God I still can’t believe Fred tattled on me about my secret girl crush on Brian.  That was going to loom over me for the rest of my life, especially since he had sent a copy of the picture of him, Gwil and me with that double cheek kiss and my ugly shocked face.  Then finally I read the last message who I already had an idea by now of who it was from.

My little protégé *sparkles emoji*

I had a wonderful time of not only getting to know your lovely father, but his radiant daughter as well.  You Maleks are gonna go far in life. Thank you for gifting us with your sunshine aurora and bubbly personality.

If you keep believing in yourself and face each day with courage and pride about who you are, you’re gonna slay them all and even break some hearts along the way. (And if any break yours first, you just let me know and I’ll sort it out darling)

Have a lovely trip back home and I hope you come to see us at our next concert in Madison Square Garden after all this award seasonal shit is done.

Keep smiling and lots of love and hugs

Freddie Fucking Mercury *heart eyes, kisses emojis*

I smiled and held my phone close to my heart.

“Excuse me Ms. Malek, we’re about to start taking off, may I please ask you to turn off your phone.” I nodded but not before quickly making a screenshot of the messages from each of the band members and saving it to my phone.

Separately labeling it as POSITIVE FEEDBACK.  I then turned off my phone and prepared for a long flight back to the states to meet with uncle Sami since the high school I was going to was the one he teaches at.

As we took off into the air I kept thinking to myself of all the great memories I had with my family and couldn’t believe that even meeting the band that I have loved for almost ten years now.  They treated me like I was part of the cast family.

And I will take that with me to my grave.

*Extended ending*

“And the winner is…..Rami Malek!” I cheered as loudly as I could as tears of happiness came running down my face. Sitting with my uncles Joe, Gwil and Ben as well as other cast and crew members of the film we all stood up and cheered as Allison Janey and Gary Oldman presented my dad with the Oscar for Best Actor for Bohemian Rhapsody.

I hugged my uncle Joey as he lifted me off the ground and I kissed his cheek and he peppered kisses all over me.  Uncle Gwil wrapped me in his arms and uncle Ben hugged me from behind and kissed the back of my head as we all tried to calm down so we could hear my dad’s speech.

God he deserved this. Golden globe, Emmy, BAFTA, SAG, AACTA and now Oscar winner.  Not only was this is first Oscar nomination and award, but he would forever be known as the first ever Arabic actor to win an Academy award.

“And one final shout out to a very special young lady who is out there somewhere with the rest of my cast. This award also goes out to my beautiful daughter who is now starting to figure out her own identity as she marches towards the final steps of life. This award goes out to her, to show her that if I can do it, then so can she. I love you my baby girl, thank you for believing in me. For being my number one fan forever and always. And I love you 3000 my heart.” He blew a kiss towards the camera and I couldn’t help but cry.

I felt uncle Joey wrap his arm around me as he rubbed my arm up and down, leaning his head against mine placing a kiss on top of it.

“I love you 3000 too baba.”

At the afterparty when my dad came in after doing some interviews, we all cheered and the first one to glomp him in a hug was uncle Joey.  They patted each other’s backs in a brotherly manner before Gwil and Ben stepped in and the four of them group hugged with each other.

“Where is she?” asked my dad.

“I’m here baba.” I said.  He smiled widely and came over to me and immediately hugged me.

“You did it dad, you’re a champion.”

“No lovebug, we are the champions.” I smiled and buried my face into his neck as he placed his hand behind my head and he just held onto me.

Being the daughter of Rami Malek would soon change my life after the Oscars.  Now that everyone knew my dad’s name, he was going to go on to do bigger and bigger things. Like just recently he’s been named the James Bond villain.  And now his famed show Mr. Robot is coming to an end.

But even through the bigger fame to his name, he still remained as humble as ever and still managed to make time for me as I continued on throughout my high school years.  

And when the time came for me to graduate I saw all my uncles, my dad, auntie, grandma, on Instagram live (curtest of uncle Joey) I knew Queen was watching from all the way across the sea, and my new stepmom Lucy all cheering for me as I was given my diploma.

Yeah, life was good.  And I sure as hell had a pretty cool dad to be there for me whenever I need him.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#3)

Let’s see what we have on the slate. this should be the premiere of s3: Speak Your Truth. I am watching this during school, so let’s see how bad my focus is.

-the episode description is “The shooting of Dr. Charles moves to the courtroom and things turn complicated for the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med.” so still on brand for being all sorts of vague.

-all that really says is more sarah angst so big sad

-let’s get started

-god back to classic med, starting things off fast, just how i like it

-how tf kellogg live through the headshot. guy can’t do anything right

-connor running towards charles on the guerney screaming “what the hell happened!?” and sharon just being “he got shot.” is so fucking hilarous to me i have no clue why

-oh god i remember how much it bothered me that connor changed his hair from the end of s2 to the start of s3 lol (bc it’s supposed to be the same night, but yk, nitpicking)

-the time jump is such an interesting choice. i remember it was jarring at first. i’m sure i’ll have more to say as the episode goes on

-aw hey guys look its sarah! adorable

-also stoll

-oh god, nat taking a sabbatical was weird

-WHEN SHE LOOKS AT WILL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN PAIN IM SCREAMING

-counting

-oh boy watching s3 means i get to watch noah get thrown through a glass door and also be a disappointment

-the way connor is effortlessly charming here in the beginning is maybe the only reason i tolerate his character (also more of sarah being adorable)

-horney boi. stop it.

-noah following after sarah like a lovesick puppy is funny

-sarah saying ‘he’s the reason i went into psych...’ honey, psych is not good for your mental health please stop giving him credit

-HOLD THE FUCK ON?????

-its the s3 premiere and Sarah talks about her dad and her strained relationship, specifically because noah compares charles getting shot to her dad getting shot. but like, foreshadowing... maybe i should give the med writers a smidge more of credit than I have been in terms of planning things...

-sarah: “don’t compare my dad to dr. charles.”

-long sigh. god... sarah being so supportive. and charles just being ‘No???’

-not to be weird but court room scenes always get me feeling some sorta way

-haha its peter stone! remember him? remember chicago justice?

-THE BETRAYAL ON SARAH’S FACE - she cares so much about him and he’s about to get his own shooter acquitted.

-god sarah is just fucking fantastic. she feels so passionately about caring about people

-god charles fucking hates himself so much? he should Not be ava’s mentor

-charles: “I think the shooting is affecting your objectivity.” sarah: “mY oBjECtiViTy?!”

-also they said ‘the fact he was concealing a weapon shows like fear malicious content’ or what ever. and uh,, sarah? please. please, for my sanity. (bc of what happens later in the season)

-charles- you know how you can help me? fuck off.

-lol this kid is the one who had like a tooth ache, and now his brain is rotting or something. probably will happen to me (@ my parents please let me see the dentist)

-this is where doris is like ethan is playing favorites

-the like background noises of the ed calm me down. they prob really shouldn’t

-they’re gonna fuckkkkk

-something to be said about sarah being gung ho about kellogg being off the streets and a danger to society when... her dad...

- I really like when med does the thing when one character is just standing in the ed and they transition to the next story by having the next character run past

-what is with all of the nurses drama like honestly

-hey guys look its ava! (let see if i have enough brain cells to find anything)

-heyyyy look at that. ava trying usurp some of connor’s cases. while, yeah she is being a tad undermining, connor’s gf was literally just discharged from a psych hold. this is just an interaction to keep in mind for future events.

-ava’s playing full cunning while connor’s busy fucking his girlfriend

-dont hate the player man

-because they’re both under latham, they’re more rivals than hero/villain, bc they have a common guy who is their advisor. but yeah. dont hate the player

-robin calling ava ‘cruella’ is making want to throw hands ngl. god dude chill - bc it means either robin just saw ava interacting with people and thought ‘what a bitch’ or connor was complaining about ava and either way I hate it.

-connor broke up with robin bc she was too horneyyy (ik he didn’t break up w her but yk)

-connor - reese interaction was nice. until he started blaming her bruh wtf chilll

-her arguing with connor is like. peak. (ava + sarah teaming up to bully connor and not take any of his shit?? i think yes)

-this ethan april thing is stupid. i’m just gonna say it.

-ava: “that would have been a really great idea if you were trying to kill him.” SHE TAKES NO. SURVIVORS. i love her so much

-YEAH RHODES GET FUCKED! i think one of the reasons ava was disliked at first was bc latham kind of favored her and... literally everyone else favored connor? so get fucked? but here, ava can obviously hold her own and connor is just whining. I’m glad they put them on equal ground bc connor and ava’s direct superior is on ava’s side, and literally everyone else is with connor. AND CONNORS STILL PLAYED AS AN UNDERDOG BC AVA TOOK HIS SURGERY! HOW. infuriating

-anyway, for the purposes of the theory ava is capable enough to hold her own as a stand alone, and clever enough to be entertaining

-holy shit no i think i just remembered how this storyline goes. connor gets a better surgery, right? he gets glory and stuff. this is too fucking rich, come on. let one thing go wrong for him.

-i miss ava

-GOD SARAH LOOKS GOOD IN HER FUCKING BLAZER. unfair. unmatched

-stop it sarah you have anxiety.

-SARAH NO. BABY IS SCARED.

-okay. Ava is half bickering, half flirting with him, a little annoying but we put up with it bc we love her and its not her fault she’s supposed to be his love interest. but still, it’s playful, it’s not neccesarily flirting. conceivably, she could be talking to anybody. But then, she tells him to relax, to take a day off. SHE’S STILL A GOOD PERSON. SHE’S NOT TRYING TO EXPLICITLY SPITE CONNOR, OR ANYONE. that’s what people tend to forget. she’s not malicious.

-connor thinks she is tho. maybe that’s why some people hated her, bc connor hated her

-charles: “kellogg is not a criminal” BRUH HE SHOT YOU

-HOLY SHIT. SHARON RN IS LIKE YOU WANT KELLOGG TO BE FREE BC YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE SIGNS OF A KILLER AND ITS ABOUT YOUR EGO

-AND??? SARAH’S DAD ANYONE? that was why he was so persistent of sarah’s dad. he wanted to catch the signs.

-OKAY HERE. When latham is like, wait, did ava manipulate me? is she actually sus? he was the one person on her side and then boom he sides with connor. literally do you have any idea how great ava would be without connor?

-this manstead thing is soooo exhausting

Okay so what have we learned?

Ava is getting Connor’s cases. kind of rude but also, they’re surgeons? It’s super competitive. AND CONNOR LITERALLY WON THAT ROUND BC LATHAM SWITCHED SIDES???

AND SHE STILL TOLD CONNOR TO GET SLEEP. LIKE SHE WAS BEING NICE WHILE ALSO BEING SNARKY

ava had less lines in the ep than in s2 and honestly. wtf.

not much content, but if you look at her content, come on she’s still amazing.

thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[nokikissa]

Whooooooooo did it, beat the story of borderlands 3 now. It took me 42 hours but I think I got still like some of those fight wave of enemies arena things I could do but I’ll look into that later, I did all the crew challenges and side mission outside of those type of things.

Story and character wise it was a bit of a mixed bag, there were a lot of things I like and couple things I really didn’t like, but all in all I had fun, the gameplay was excellent, and most likely I will play it again, to co-op with buddies or to try out different vault hunters.

Putting more in-depth thoughts about some story and character things under the cut, extreme major spoiler warning as I’ll be talking about like big plot moments and such.

I quite like most of the new characters they introduced in this, I’ve only played Fl4k and loved them, but from everything I’ve seen I feel like I’ll love the other new vault hunters as well. The Calypso twins were delightful villains, very entertaining but also like I couldn’t wait to get to kill them lmao. And then there’s like Ava, I loved her and her relationship with Maya that was good stuff. And Wainwright I quite liked as well, and I was very happy that Hammerlock finally has a boyfriend and is in a good relationship. And also Lorelei and Clay were both good too, tho I probably like Lorelei more of those haha.

How it handled some old characters tho.... That’s a bit mixed. Like I liked a lot of them: Lilith, Eliie, Tannis, Maya, Zer0, Sir Hammerlock.... Even Rhys! They got Rhys down surprisingly well in my opinion! Obviously he was bit more comedic and doofy but like it was still reminiscent of how Rhys acted in like comedic moments of tales, I could recognize where they got his personality from and so on, it was fine!

...Which makes it even more baffling that they fucked up Vaughn so completely that with Vaughn it feels like the writer maybe got a super vague description of the character at best which had been passed down through multiple people twisting it around like a game of broken telephone. I just don’t understand where they pulled some character traits for him at all.... During the game I tried my best to ignore his existence, which worked well for a long while until the game made you go back to pandora and made him story relevant again, god every time he spoke my reaction was like “please shut up...”

But. I knew that was coming. The Commander Lilith DLC and promotional pics and so on made it clear ahead of time that I would not like Borderlands 3 Vaughn. I had had time to go through the stages of grief and resign to being all well I’m gonna be one of those salty tales fans and keep on drawing content of like tales Vaughn and ignore the rest of the canon for him.

So anyway I was really liking the story during like the Promethea Atlas Vs. Maliwan Arc actually, Rhys and Zer0 and their interactions were fun, Katagawa was an enjoyable villain as well, I just hope the fandom don’t make him annoying to me... So yeah that arc was good and fun.... and then the Promethea Vault happened. I am still a bit on the fence about how I feel about Maya getting killed off. On one hand, I did not see that coming and it did get an emotional “Nooo D:” reaction out of me, which well I’ve seen games with similar character getting killed off scenes that are supposed to be a big deal but my reaction is just like “ok”, like Borderlands 2 with Roland for example. But like yeah I didn’t want her to die, and it feels like kind of a waste cos let’s face it in 2 she didn’t have that much personality since the game didn’t do voice lines for the vault hunters reacting to the story etc. So now she was finally getting to be her own character I feel like aaaand then she dies. :/

And then we moved on to the Eden 6 arc and initially I was excited all Oh get to meet Hammerlock’s Boyfriend! But soon my excitement soured............

So Aurelia’s evil now huh.... And like cartoonishly evil...... Man I hate what they did with Aurelia in this game, it really smashed my good mood coming from the promethea arc to this.... Like in pre-sequel sure she kept claiming herself to be evil and a bitch and so on, but yet when Jack did like actually horrible shit she did not agree with those, she felt bad about Felicity’s fate and didn’t agree with Jack killing the scientist, she even objected when Jack was killing off all claptraps! But nah here’s she’s evil, murdering people left and right and also fucked Troy Calypso cos idk she evil now  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like god............ I really didn’t expect Aurelia of all the characters whose portrayal I’d be having this much issues but here we are... I guess I’m more pissed about it atm cos as I said with Vaughn I knew what was coming, but with Aurelia I kinda feel Bait and switched by the promotional material cos in all of those that I saw they showed like both the Hammerlocks and Wainwright standing next to each other so you know I was expecting her to be an ally, like maybe she and Alistair had started to tolerate each other and so on but NOPE! Go kill this character you like! Thanks a lot gearbox...

That’s the major issues I had with characters I suppose, Tho it is a bit disappointed Maya and Zer0 were only vault hunters from 2 that showed up. Would’ve been fun to get more personality for more of them. I did find some echo logs involving Krieg at one point which were interesting, aaaand according to like the sort of background filler assets Axton does porn now lmao. Also hmm where were Athena and Janey? Fiona and Sasha? So many characters missing... I know they’ve said probably more characters show up in dlcs, but still. Story wise kinda funny tho, like did Lilith contact the vault hunters from 2 for help at all? Were all of them like “sry I’m busy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “??

Also one weird bit about the Eden 6 arc, it felt kiiinda out of place for borderlands that there were npcs being all “Oh man I sure love the Jakobs family they treat me well”, borderlands has sorta been all “the gun corporation suck” beforehand... I suppose the Promethea arc was bit too pro corporation in some way, but with that at least mostly the npc I saw were like “Rhys says he’s trying to do good with atlas... hm we shall see how that’ll pan out...” suspicion, but with the Jakob there were characters being all oh Jakobs is so great such good corporation :)

At the end side of the game you could get sooo much lore about like sirens which I loved, translating the eridian artifact things like clarified on like how sirens come to be and all which is great! According to that siren in her life can choose who specifically inherits her powers after she dies, or “release her powers into the unknown” which when described kinda gave me the impression that it’ll pass those onto some baby that’s born at some point, which yay clarification on the whole are sirens born as sirens or do they get their powers later: answer is both!

And it appears that Angel decided to pass her powers onto Tannis before she died? Which is interesting. And aw Maya chose Ava to inherit her powers.

That ending tho..... uhhh isn’t Elpis an inhabited place? How did that whole thing affect the people living on elpis lmao....?

And god that ending credits song, it is fitting but I just can’t take it seriously asfsfdggs...

i guess I’ll now move onto talking about the gameplay....

The gameplay was great. Same old Borderlands gameplay except with some improvements making it better, and that is exactly what I wanted from the game.

I especially love the way the guns are now and how much variety there is between the manufacturers, and even within them! Like previously I rarely liked to use shotguns in borderlands games, but in this one I fell in love specifically with the Maliwan Shockwave shotguns, and when one I had started to be too low leveled I desperately tried looking for new one everywhere lol.

And also Atlas gun’s smart bullet gimmick is so good especially now that I played on console, I know I joked about that before the game came out I’m sorry Rhys lol.

I really enjoyed the environments in the game, the planets looked cool and unique, and the maps were interesting. And god some of them are so huge! Which does cause some issue tho... They are weirdly stingy with ammo vending machines. In previous games they usually had ammo vending machines before like boss fight rooms, but in this one nope! Most of the time they only have those in like beginning of the map or like where fast travel points are? That’s annoying... And another issue is that the maps are big and sorta maze-like at times, so even though you have the mission marker in the mini map, I still needed to constantly open the map to see how to get to it, you can’t just go straight in the direction of the mission marker.

Gotta say, I was bit disappointed that we only visited Athenas to get Maya, I was hoping we’d return there cos the planet was very pretty but nope....

Fl4k’s gameplay was really fun, I got the skill that lets fl4ks pet heal you and man that skill is a lifesaver, there were some boss fights I survived purely because of Mr Chew keeping me alive by reviving me lol.

I did encounter few glitched that caused me to have to restart the game cos some mission objective got stuck somewhere and I couldn’t advance, that was a bit annoying. But it was only very few and like well into the game, compared to the hours I played it feels like a pretty good track record for playing a game right on it’s release haha.

So uh yeah. In summary again: Extremely fun gameplay, mixed bag story and characters. Had fun, will play again.

[6ad6ro]

okay so very few ppl on here will care abt this.

i like pro wrestling but rly only follow it from a "historical" point of view? like it's culture and horrors and evolution and all the lil details are fascinating. i still watch classic matches sometimes idk. but mostly interviews and clips n podcasts and yeah. tho i loved it as a kid durring monday night wars etc? it's weird its sorta repeating now tho. ANYWAYS...

so i love wrestling history. and i love wrestling announcers. interviewers. and managers. classic ones like gorilla monsoon, mean gene, jim ross, some talent/announcers like macho or jessie? but the heels (bad guys) were my fav. bobby the brain. sensational sherri. and the legendary jim cornette.

some ppl will know where this is going.

i love jim. jim... is an amazing heel. but in like classic wrestling? u also gotta know it's a business that thrives on trying to get it's fans emotionally invested. to make them care. how do u get ppl to sustain disbelief and want one person to beat up another? you make them angry.

you offend them. that's what you did. that's what you DID.

and jim loves classic wrestling so so much. and he hates that we all cant go back to when a lot of fans believed it was real. warts and all (to me it sounded horrifying but i guess it was exciting so).

but jim is very aware it prob cant go back. and he's old. he's trying to be retired in a way. but he still loves wrestling? so he does podcasting mostly now. and announcing. etc.

the thing is? like... it's very common in wrestling for the best talent to actually blur the lines between their character and their real personality. and jim is exactly that. jim "cuts heel promos" probably every day of his life. and even now on his podcast, he is a heel.

as someone who has watched most of the popular promotions, or at least was aware of them, from 1984-now? this is exactly a heel. jim is being jim.

but that... includes being very heel-ish about his ideas (that he def believes in tbh). and not apologizing. even when you should. like i can tell jim is less black and white with his feelings than he lets on? but for him, podcasting and interviews and social networks and ESPECIALLY announcing? is on the clock. he. is. a heel.

but that's why it sucks. because even when he says outrageous backwards stuff? even if i can be like "omg you stupid old man", i also know he's playing it up. and i get what he's trying to say?

but not this time.

i'm pissed. like idk. i guess it was gradual? i listen to his podcast constantly. its fun. he's angry. says many good things. a few awful. i say "you idiot". and then he and brian last talk about classic wrestling memories and it's AMAZING. i love it so much.

but idk like... idk. recently he made an old (a joke he's been telling since the 80s as a heel) racist joke like "this dude is so tough you could strap a bucket of fried chicken to him and have him bike through ethiopia". yeah. really obviously super racist. he got fired for it. because he told it on a wrestling show like NOW like in 2019. racism was sadly "acceptable" in the 80s. it was common even in the 2000s in wrestling?

but this is 2019? and jim. being jim. is a heel. and DENYING it's racist. he's saying "it's a STARVATION joke!!!" bc he is a heel. bc he knows it's racist but he must heel. even on his podcast where he's "totally honest" etc. but god podcasts and radio shows are just as fake as wrestling? and jim is lying.

but unlike wrestling?? people BELIEVE jim. bc in some ways, it's hard for even ME to tell when he's lying or not. bc it WORKS. and that's the issue. jim is making all this money? bc he found a way to be a good heel in a format that still believes he's real. and YES he DOES act like that irl too? but jim capitalizes on that and plays it up.

and that's the issue. because naive people. hang on his every word. and you look in the comment section? and it's ALLLLLL just "lol sjws" and "i love starvin marvin south park" and "haha racism funny". these people are being turned more racist. because jim wants to make people angry. it's no different than like alex jones. it's funny for us out of context, fine? but it's actually creating hate-mongering.

i may not stop listening to jim, and i'll always consider him a legend. but oh geez? even as a heel podcaster (and i really hope he isn't stupid enough to think his argument is right)? jim is REALLY pissing off anyone with a brain. me included.

a few extra jokes isn't worth the cost of ACTUAL RACISM, dude. even for a legend.