#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.
In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.
In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.
Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.
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[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.
1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]
#urchin art#autism#autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic artist#autistic community#listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult#figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary#but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe#(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point)#the point is ask yourself#are you getting MORE xyz?#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery
#sp-rambles#Edit: Head in hands and groaning why did this post become about cringe culture and “not caring about what other people think”#Like yes of course cringe culture is dead yada yada but don't you guys think it's a little off how people use ableist and queerphobic#rhetoric still to describe things they do not like? Isn't that a bit more concerning?
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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hunting down a specific image but finding miscellaneous storyboards/some cut panels from the stan comic story instead
#someone with the b&n version of the comic pls.... pls show me the extra pages#(cos i ain't paying again when i dislike 1/4 of it lmao)#the original storyboard for ford's dream not having the boat/swingset/portal....#NOT THE CLONE DIPPERS HAVING A PIC OF WENDY! ENOUGH!! YOU TWO HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS#thats it im working on an old fic again about existential crises and missing your twin who isnt your twin anymore#so then you become your own twin...? truly the healthiest way to go about this#mabel pines#dipper pines#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#im guessing this first storyboard is from the petting zoo short#but mabel posing in the stan's tattoo one is making me lose it#kinda wish we had more s1 storyboards#heck i wanna see the deleted scenes too#cos the ones we got were all s2 except for that one dreamscaperers one with the alt bill intro
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually#and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash#and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change#also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb#from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs#and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash#or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into#and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is#ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)!#rimi talks
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When all this is over, will you stay with me? For good?
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#laezel#shadowheart#lae’zel#shadowzel#more like shartzel#when im telling you they were meant for each other#what do you mean theyre both loyal followers to their god-queens who eventually forsake them and force them to become their own people#what do you mean they both crave the recognition and validation of their overseers but will never get it#the hurt/comfort of this ship is unreal yall#crying screaming sobbing
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#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 spy#tf2 scouts ma#tf2 scout#don’t mind the mpreg#tell me you guys have seen the original??#Jordan my riso is becoming more and more successful soon I will have a finished piece
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Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#infinite the jackal#sonic fanart#sonic#sonic forces#My funny BTS on this comic is Shadow's initial response was 'sounds like cope but okay' but I wanted something less internet-pilled LOL#I've drawn more Sonic Forces fanart than I intended but it is EXCLUSIVELY because I think Infinite is SO funny#I'm gonna shove him in a locker#Bro lost a fight once and it shattered his self esteem#He's been practicing his evil laugh for months and when he finally gets his chance Shadow hits him with the 'I don't know you'#Also since this is taking off I want to clarify: I am a hater in the silly sense. I understand why Infinite has fans#The bones of a good character are there it’s just the writing of this game failed him So Bad#Forces is my least fave Sonic game but I can’t stop thinking about it because of its missed potential#Forces tries to make a lot of very serious plot points but the impact is just not there. It becomes unintentionally funny as a result
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Astarion’s first impressions of my tav Cain, because playing a good aligned paladin with a charlatan background is really, truly, deeply hilarious. I loved lying at every possible opportunity to make my life easier. I wish there wasn’t a cap on inspiration points because I was getting it left and right from cain and astarion combined.
#you can see me progressively put more effort into this#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3#bg3 art#bg3 tav#bg3 astarion#bg3 fanart#oc: cain#he’s named that bc when i built him i ripped his build from my dnd character at the time#whose name was abel#in my mind they’re brothers and in this universe abel doesn’t become an adventurer#and runs a butchery in baldurs gate
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everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.
(okay, there is one more thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it#and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute#sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist#sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it#and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event#he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking#every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together#their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat#absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them#this is perfection#anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday#see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans
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they should invent a doctor that actually helps you
#i've had like 3 doctors that have ever actually believed me and helped me#many more that believed me and didnt help me#and MANY more that just didn't believe me#if you aren't going to listen to your patients then why did you become a doctor#fuckass
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“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
#dog books#this chapter was very sad reading#when you become aware of punishment#and its use and its prevalence#it's hard not to despair#again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution#maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did#what I did because it's what everyone does#because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else#I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice#this book was very validating#another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts#was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice#with Amanda Knox#it helped to ease the despair a little
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see me off with grace
#deltarune#utdr#kris dreemurr#a funeral for it’s only attendee#there's always this specific ache i get whenever i draw kris#the more grounded i become with my interpretation of them the sadder they just get#i have a friend who phrased it well and they said:#“oh kris. i'm sorry it couldn't be better for you”#my art
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i'm expecting a tiktok exodus since this seems to be the bomb shelter of the internet. have another update/repost. NOW WITH HIGHLIGHTED MAJOR HOLIDAYS!
IT JUST HAPPENS
DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
Thursday the 20th
The Fifth of Wednesday
Second Week of May: Eurovision
Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating
Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif
First Monday In September: Todaybor Day Is Labor Day
WEEKLY EVENTS (at least the ones i celebrate)
Every Monday: Garfield Hates Mondays
Every Tuesday: Tuck Him In Tuesday
Every Wednesday: It Is Wednesday My Dudes
Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday
Every Friday: Thank Gnome It's Friday
Every Saturday: Caturday
Every Sunday: Energy Sword Sunday
YEARLY EVENTS
January 1: Copyright Expiration Day
January 2: New Years, New Tears
January 8: Spiders Georg Day
January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 18: Bug Race
January 29: Threshold Day
All of February: Funguary
ALSO All of February: Femslash February
February 3: WOE, VANILLA EXTRACT BE UPON YE
February 8: King Taejong Fell Off His Horse
February 13: Galentines Day
February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day
February 15: Annoy Squidward Day
February 18: Perserverance Rover's Birthday
March 9: Miku Day
March 10: Mario Day
March 14: Pi Day
March 15: Ides of March
March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today
April 1: Mishapocalypse
ALSO April 1: Staff Does Something Fun On The Dashboard
April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary
April 3: Dannypocalypse
April 5: First Contact Day
April 8: Rex Manning Day
ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD
April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes
ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day
April 19: Some Roman Made Bread Today
April 20: haha 420 blaze it
April 24: Josh Fight
April 25: The Perfect Date
April 28: Ed Balls Day
April 29: 94 Meetings Day
April 30: It's Gonna Be May
All of May: Mermay
May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily
May 4: May the 4th Be With You
May 5: Revenge of the Fifth
May 6: Revenge Of The Sixth
May 7: World Language Day
May 25: The Glorious 25th of May
ALSO May 25: Towel Day
All of June: Pride Month
ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
June 5: Barricade Day
ALSO June 5: RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD
June 12: Another Homestuck Day
June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck
June 22: Summerween
June 23: FUCK This Post And Happy Birthday Sonic
All of July: Disability Pride Month
July 11-13: Dashcon Anniversary
July 20: Moon Landing
August 5: Curiosity Rover's Birthday
August 30: Frankenstein Day
September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her
September 11: Mole Interest Monday
September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day
September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-
All of October: SKELETON WAR
ALSO All of October: People Draw A Lot Month? (so many names)
October 3: Mean Girls Day
ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist Day
October 13: Treat Yo' Self
October 18: None Pizza Left Beef
October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day
October 25: Homestuck Day The Third??
October 31: HALLOWEEN
November 5: Destiel Nevada Putin Elec'tion Covid Way
ALSO November 5: Doc Brown Invents Time Travel
November 19: Goncharov
November 29: HENRY KISSINGER IS DEAD
All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?
ALSO All of December: WHY WEREN'T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE
ALSO All of December: Season's Greason's
December 4: Deny Defend Depose Day
December 10: Please, It's Christmas
December 12: Hawaii Part 2
December 23: Christmas Adam
ALSO December 23: Festivus
December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS
December 25: happy chrismum
ALSO December 24: Cabinet Man Day
December 27: Porn Ban Effective Today
#there's definitely more but i'm not versed enough in this#tumblr holidays#add more in the tags/comments please#look i'm trying my best here i've been on tumblr for just over a year at this point#tumblr#tumblr calendar#holidays#calendar#the calendar updates have become a yearly occasion now#if you have other additions get 'em in by next year#also this update finally has some august holidays!!#tiktok ban#tiktok refugees#meta refugees#instagram refugees
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i know it’s like years old at this point but i love that one collab mumbo and grian did with tommyinnit bc it’s like the single most concentrated example i’ve seen of mumbo’s Chaos Nullification Powers
you get to see a bit of it on hermitcraft, mostly via his interactions with grian, but until seeing that collab it didn’t really hit me just how completely mumbo can no-sell other people’s attempts to control a situation. tommyinnit is possibly the single shoutiest, most chaotic minecraft youtuber out there, and in most videos i’ve seen he pretty much overwhelms everyone else and sets the tone for interactions because of this. but mumbo just. doesn’t let him. no matter how much tommy escalates in intensity, mumbo reacts with *exactly* the same energy he always does. grian largely comes across in the whole video as annoyed and reluctant to engage with the whole thing, but mumbo’s not even affected. he just rolls with anything he finds funny and basically ignores anything he disapproves of, only seeming more and more unflappable the harder anyone tries to get a rise out of him.
AND imo, this is the key to my favorite interpretation of him as a character
see, when the people around him are being more reasonable/calm, i think mumbo often comes across as anxious and a bit easily overwhelmed. the thing is, his nervous wet cat vibes do not scale. he has one setting. his responses to the last life ‘ah-ha!’ jokes and to hermitcraft 8 starting to crumble to pieces under a falling moon are almost identical.
mumbo jumbo is inexorably and eternally Just Some Guy, but that gets stranger and stranger the weirder his surroundings become. the giggly incredulousness that makes him an easy target for goofy puns looks Very different when it’s also his reaction to the impending end of the world.
#anyway yeah i have this whole idea in my head about mumbo’s friendship with grian from a characterization standpoint#bc i agree with the somewhat? common consensus that being friends with mumbo has made grian softer and friendlier over time#but i don’t think it was in a ‘reflecting back the kindness he’s being shown’ way#i think it’s because the more harsh and chaotic you try to be towards mumbo the more you feel ineffectual and out of control#and grian can’t handle it so he slowly becomes nicer until he feels like they’re on equal footing again#like don’t get me wrong i think they genuinely are good friends#and i don’t think this is necessarily something mumbo is doing on purpose#but i think the power dynamic going on under the surface is much more bizarre and weighted in mumbo’s favor than it seems at first glance#mumbling
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