#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.
In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.
In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.
Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.
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[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.
1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]
#urchin art#autism#autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic artist#autistic community#listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult#figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary#but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe#(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point)#the point is ask yourself#are you getting MORE xyz?#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery
#sp-rambles#Edit: Head in hands and groaning why did this post become about cringe culture and “not caring about what other people think”#Like yes of course cringe culture is dead yada yada but don't you guys think it's a little off how people use ableist and queerphobic#rhetoric still to describe things they do not like? Isn't that a bit more concerning?
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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hunting down a specific image but finding miscellaneous storyboards/some cut panels from the stan comic story instead
#someone with the b&n version of the comic pls.... pls show me the extra pages#(cos i ain't paying again when i dislike 1/4 of it lmao)#the original storyboard for ford's dream not having the boat/swingset/portal....#NOT THE CLONE DIPPERS HAVING A PIC OF WENDY! ENOUGH!! YOU TWO HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS#thats it im working on an old fic again about existential crises and missing your twin who isnt your twin anymore#so then you become your own twin...? truly the healthiest way to go about this#mabel pines#dipper pines#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#im guessing this first storyboard is from the petting zoo short#but mabel posing in the stan's tattoo one is making me lose it#kinda wish we had more s1 storyboards#heck i wanna see the deleted scenes too#cos the ones we got were all s2 except for that one dreamscaperers one with the alt bill intro
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jerking businessman!nanami off at his desk while he works because everything has been so monotonous and boring and you're just trying to give your coworker a little bit of reprieve from a hard day at work. he's been so short with you lately that you figured a little TLC might soothe his temper.
you're sitting beside him, pretending to go over his papers with him in case someone happens to peer in through his office door. they'd see him slightly hunched, head tilted downwards in what they assume to be reverent dedication to his work.
but really he's just trying not to drool all over his paperwork. his lips are parted, eyes already glossy with all of his pent-up needs. it's been so long since he's cum—he's just been so busy and masturbating has always been a ritual of sorts to him that requires a clear mind. so every touch from you feels electric and he can see the smile on your face in his peripheral vision.
he's a leaking mess. he has no clue how he's supposed to explain the drools of pre-cum that are smeared all over the fly of his pants where you've hooked him out of them. maybe he'll go home sick. god who is he kidding he never calls in sick even that one time his temperature was—
"kento, stop thinking."
he blinks, and glances to you. god you're so pretty, sitting innocently as if your manicured fingers arent squeezing around his cock. he wonders what you'd feel like in other senses: how warm your mouth is, how inviting you'd be if he bent you over his desk and fucked you stupid as retribution for pulling this stunt. he'd make you walk around for the rest of the day with his cum leaking out of you.
the imagery is too much. his hips stutter upwards out of his desk chair and he's opening his mouth to warn you of his climax when you suddenly lean forwards and take the tip of his cock into your mouth.
he thinks he could die. warm like he had imagined, you swirl your tongue over his tip and draw out the most intense orgasm that kento has ever had in his boring life, right there in his office. the irony isn't lost on him, but he's too busy revelling in the way you hollow your cheeks out and swallow every last drop of the cum he gives you to care.
once you've milked him for all he has, you pull back and stand up to straighten out your clothes. you still look perfect, presentable and as gorgeous as he thought you were when you walked in this morning—god the last thing he thought he'd get from you today was his load down your throat.
you lean in, press a kiss to his lips that tastes more like himself than he's ever known himself to taste, and then take a step back to look him up and down.
"you should clean yourself up," you smile. "you're a mess, mr nanami."
#i fear businessman nanami might become a little bit of a running theme here i have plenty of ideas for him please send more in tho <3#nanami smut#kento nanami smut#nanami x you#nanami x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#nanami x reader smut
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#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 spy#tf2 scouts ma#tf2 scout#don’t mind the mpreg#tell me you guys have seen the original??#Jordan my riso is becoming more and more successful soon I will have a finished piece
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually#and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash#and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change#also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb#from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs#and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash#or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into#and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is#ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)!#rimi talks
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When all this is over, will you stay with me? For good?
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#laezel#shadowheart#lae’zel#shadowzel#more like shartzel#when im telling you they were meant for each other#what do you mean theyre both loyal followers to their god-queens who eventually forsake them and force them to become their own people#what do you mean they both crave the recognition and validation of their overseers but will never get it#the hurt/comfort of this ship is unreal yall#crying screaming sobbing
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see me off with grace
#deltarune#utdr#kris dreemurr#a funeral for it’s only attendee#there's always this specific ache i get whenever i draw kris#the more grounded i become with my interpretation of them the sadder they just get#i have a friend who phrased it well and they said:#“oh kris. i'm sorry it couldn't be better for you”#my art
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Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#infinite the jackal#sonic fanart#sonic#sonic forces#My funny BTS on this comic is Shadow's initial response was 'sounds like cope but okay' but I wanted something less internet-pilled LOL#I've drawn more Sonic Forces fanart than I intended but it is EXCLUSIVELY because I think Infinite is SO funny#I'm gonna shove him in a locker#Bro lost a fight once and it shattered his self esteem#He's been practicing his evil laugh for months and when he finally gets his chance Shadow hits him with the 'I don't know you'#Also since this is taking off I want to clarify: I am a hater in the silly sense. I understand why Infinite has fans#The bones of a good character are there it’s just the writing of this game failed him So Bad#Forces is my least fave Sonic game but I can’t stop thinking about it because of its missed potential#Forces tries to make a lot of very serious plot points but the impact is just not there. It becomes unintentionally funny as a result
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Astarion’s first impressions of my tav Cain, because playing a good aligned paladin with a charlatan background is really, truly, deeply hilarious. I loved lying at every possible opportunity to make my life easier. I wish there wasn’t a cap on inspiration points because I was getting it left and right from cain and astarion combined.
#you can see me progressively put more effort into this#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3#bg3 art#bg3 tav#bg3 astarion#bg3 fanart#oc: cain#he’s named that bc when i built him i ripped his build from my dnd character at the time#whose name was abel#in my mind they’re brothers and in this universe abel doesn’t become an adventurer#and runs a butchery in baldurs gate
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they should invent a doctor that actually helps you
#i've had like 3 doctors that have ever actually believed me and helped me#many more that believed me and didnt help me#and MANY more that just didn't believe me#if you aren't going to listen to your patients then why did you become a doctor#fuckass
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graduation happy birthday anthy!
#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#himemiya anthy#anthy himemiya#biruesque art#i rly like tgis new lineart style im experimenting with#ive had the same weightless lineart style for years#i should be trying more new things#there's always goingto be new things to try and to look forward to#the way that things can't be undone to you doesnt diminish your capacity to grow beyond it and become someone new i think#i'll probably be using this style a lot more hehe
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“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
#dog books#this chapter was very sad reading#when you become aware of punishment#and its use and its prevalence#it's hard not to despair#again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution#maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did#what I did because it's what everyone does#because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else#I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice#this book was very validating#another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts#was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice#with Amanda Knox#it helped to ease the despair a little
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