#but im grateful she was there for me and that i was able to be there for her

[yanderemommabean]

Hey It's been a while

First, I just want to apologize for being gone as long as I have. Things got to a heated point at home, and I had to postpone my move until August while facing some health concerns.

Im finally out of that god forsaken house. But it wasn't easy. They cornered me, and I cried for six hours trying to just hold on until the next day when I could go.

Im so so so fucking sorry I havent been able to be on here. I know you all must have been worried sick, and I should've at least made some update posts, but Ive been stressed as all hell in my new home trying to get insurance figured out so I can get insulin, trying to get a job for rent and Sammy's meds (he got diagnosed with heart worms, and im devastated at how long it's been going on so we're trying like hell to get him better, ive been up days in a row worried sick about it while waiting on job offers and its killing me).

I got to take Pixie, and she got checked out too and I havent heard anything, so that's good! I've been sick and trying to figure everything out, and was just not able to write like ive been wanting to. I had to leave behind one person i really didn't want to, who unfortunately is stuck with my family, and its also been eating at me.

I'm alive, just stressed and sick and trying to heal from abuse and the shock of not being yelled at for being sick and scared and making mistakes.

Again, Im so sorry you guys. I should have tried to update at all, I've just had so much going on and so much sickness. I am so grateful to have you guys at all, and the sweet messages you sent me made me smile when I finally logged in and read them.

I can't guarantee an everyday post like I usually used to do, but I'm going to try and at least be back more than I have been! I love you beans. I'm so sorry for the radio silence. Everything came to a fever pitch and has been nonstop trying to get settled in since I finally got away, which was the end of August. Before that, I was sick, unable to stand up without passing out, and barely eating because the abuse was so bad that staying in my room and starving was better than any interaction. I wont go into too much detail but the abuse was another large part I didn't want to post. Just bed rotting and hoping time would speed up to get me out of there.

Anyway, this was a terrible ramble, I'll hush, but thank you all so much for your messages, and im happy to be back! Even if just a bit at a time for now until im more settled in <3

Much love!

-Mommabean

[125storejuice]

Ah!!!!!!!

[seconddoubt]

daily routine lately

wake up 8, eat brekky, drink coffee while doing the daily paper's sudoku, watch the news then kid's shows on the telly w my brother til 9.30 when he goes to work.

brush teeth, change into gardening clothes and dig, plant, trim stuff, and/or pull weeds til about 12, eat lunch, make fancy cappuccinos.

keep working in the garden til 16, shower, change into a nice outfit

16.30: make a gin & tonic and drink it outside in the sun with a book (currently the stranger, albert camus)

help with dinner, eat dinner, then crochet while listening to music or watching youtube or gilmore girls

try to be ready for bed by 22.30 when I read a short story (currently a collection of works by nobel prize winners)

I feel so fucking good i never want this to end, I want to care for my mother's garden during early summer forever

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[misspickman]

Struggling to read simones bop run its so so bad but i need to. Finish it.

[tennisarchives]

sometimes a really bad situation can actually be kinda fun in hindsight when you get to laugh about it with someone you love yknow

[juniestar]

Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

[boy-above]

if anyone sees this who also endured emotional incest as a child i hope you have a great day and that you're healing. please remember that you're right to be traumatized even if your mind might tell you to minimize the problem because it "could have been worse"

[the-reclawmation-studio]

I lost one of my chickens today.

This was Poppy. I found her curled up in her nest, with no obvious signs of death. She was happy and healthy yesterday. I don't know what happened- old age, perhaps.

I will be mounting her next week. This will be my first time mounting an animal I knew, much less one that belonged to me. But I know I can do it.

Goodbye, Poppy. May you rest in peace.

[courviknight]

today worst day ever 🥹🥹 so glad to be home

[imperiuswrecked]

My trainer: you got up to three workouts today! That's one more than last week. That's great!

Me, dying, *thumbs up, smiling through the pain, trying not to throw up my lungs*: thanks

[kkoct-ik]

im waiting for someone to repost shubbles message so i can ramble in the tags about it but i love her so much and im so thankful for everything shes done recently

[aropride]

like what the fuck am i supposed to do

[vagalumess]

A friend of mine is graduating, but she knows i won't be able to be there cause I'm flooded with exams until january and she just

messaged me saying she's gonna print a picture of me and take it so i can be there with her i???? the honor?? 😭

[oscar-piastri]

my sister and i’s relationship went from: ‘i wanna kill you’ (and actually trying to when we were kids) to ‘do u wanna help for my wedding’

[myfirstandlast]

going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly