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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months ago

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Cleantech has an enshittification problem

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.

But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.

Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.

In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.

But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.

An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.

That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.

The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/

This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.

That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.

This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.

This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?

The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price

Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.

And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).

I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.

There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.

But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.

Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.

I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).

When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.

By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.

You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.

Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet

Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops

But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.

It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.

Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:

Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);

All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).

There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.

But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.

There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.

That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.

However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.

This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."

By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.

We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg

Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

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lipstickchainsaw · 24 days ago

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Things I would've liked to see in Arcane S2, in no particular order:

Caitlyn doing some more heinous shit after becoming dictator. Let her be evil, damnit! Let her fuck up the Firelights' sanctuary to achieve whatever goal! Make some people mad!

More of a sense of the power struggle between Ambessa and Caitlyn. Let Caitlyn look into the disappearances as well, or at least give us a sense of what she thinks is going on. Maybe give Shoola something to do after even Salo left. Make the upper class of Piltover feel more alive.

Give Caitlyn the initiative in her turn away from Ambessa, mirror Vi choosing to trust Jinx while facing to Warwick here, and have it take a little more to get them on the same page.

Let Ekko and Jinx actually rally Zaun in the final act. The way they're seen by their people was a pretty big deal, and I would've liked to see that go somewhere in the climax.

Actually, have Zaun actually discuss what to do in the Noxus/Piltover war. Both sides oppressed Zaun pretty badly, so maybe there's some people who want to support Noxus (a very small group), or who figure they're happy to let their enemies fight it out. Let Sevika, Scar and the Jinxers about this.

Hell, let Sevika show up at all after episode 4! Isha was important to her too! Have her and Jinx suggest building a statue for her, like Silco did for Vander, as another notch to help Jinx stand upright.

When Jayce and Mel come back, have them reckon with what Caitlyn did to their city, and have them take some time to forge the place back together.

Let Zaun negotiate with Piltover for their aid! Give them more than just one seat on the council amongst people who already look down on them (although I think Sevika is canny enough to get the most out of it, it's a real consolation price for a group of people willing to abandon their own homies to rally to the defense of yours), and make Ekko a prominent voice here.

Warwick in episode 9 didn't really do much for me. Any of the emotional beats there were already covered in episode 6. Not sure what to do with him instead, though. Maybe make Vi and Jinx protect others from him more explicitly?

By emphasising the Piltover/Zaun conflict more, you can have Vi be more conflicted about where she falls on that divide.

Ambessa also lobbies to get Zaun on board, maybe pulls some Renni shenanigans again. Actually get me invested in that grand climax.

Same goes for Viktor, honestly. Maybe give his conversation with Mel and Jayce a bit more weight. His turn to Ambessa and Singed's side is a bit abrupt (and also very much caused by Jayce killing him, so his moral high ground in that conversation is a bit weird).

Don't make Jayce talk shit about Viktor's terminal illness, goddamnit. Heimerdinger's whole arc was about how corrosive that attitude was, and the conclusion of it was that you can't sit down on your laurels because change will keep happening with or without you. I think that makes for a much more compelling argument against Viktor's philosophy at this point.

No notes on Singed. What a ledge.

Overall, I think the show needed a bit more breathing room to build up to the level the climax was operating on. It left a bit too much of what I cared about behind to get there, and adding an act could've been a way to alleviate some of that.

#arcane #arcane spoilers

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spacerockfloater · 6 months ago

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hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!

Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!

If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.

Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?

Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.

For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.

It’s all just marketing

That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.

Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.

The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.

Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.

All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.

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roguishcat · 4 months ago

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Augustarion Day 6 - Cream

Pairing: the reader (You) x Astarion

Tags: just silliness and fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Excerpt: “Oh, goodie! Someone in need of a rescue,” Astarion whined and threw his arms up dramatically. “What is it with people falling over themselves to get into trouble just so we can play hero time and time again! Let’s just go,” he said with an air of an overtired toddler.

A/N If you want to be on the tag list, feel free to send me a message or leave a comment. ❤️

Day 1 - 🍓, Day 2 - 🌊, Day 4 - Mythologies, Day 7 - Underwear, Day 14 - Protective, Day 15 - Shirt that goes hard

It started with you craving some pastries. The four of you were making your way through the city when you caught a whiff of something sweet, delicious and so very tempting. You kept on walking at first, because you were on a budget and new armour for Karlach was more important than letting your sweet tooth dictate your purchases. But then your stomach made itself known, to your embarrassment.

Gale smiled and pointed in the direction of the bakery. “Seeing as we are nowhere near Elfsong, how about indulging in some baked goods? I, for one, wouldn’t mind having a sweet butter bun or two.”

Well, that was a different matter entirely! If it wasn’t a senseless purchase but rather something to improve morale, who were you to refuse?

“And I find your blood tastes just a little sweeter if you enjoy yourself, dear,” Astarion whispered into your ear.

“Oooh, I’ve heard about this place!” Karlach pushed the door open, “it’s meant to have the meanest, best damn apple pie in the city!”

Looking around, you wondered why Karlach was excited about the place. The bakery looked like any ordinary bakery except for one detail. It seemed to be suspiciously empty of any people. You listened carefully. There was shouting and thumping coming from the direction of the kitchen. Something seemed off.

“Oh, goodie! Someone in need of a rescue,” Astarion whined and threw his arms up dramatically. “What is it with people falling over themselves to get into trouble just so we can play hero time and time again! Let’s just go,” he said with an air of an overtired toddler.

“We can’t leave!” you frowned, bow at the ready as you took a step in the direction of the commotion, “they might need help!”

“Well, then some other do-gooder is welcome to come by and- hey!”

Ignoring Astarion’s protests, you burst through the kitchen door, the rest following close behind, to be greeted with a most peculiar sight.

Kobolds pranced around the kitchen to the dismay of the baker and a woman who appeared to be his spouse, the latter’s face almost puce as she shouted at the wretched creatures to leave. The kobolds seemed to think that her shouts and the weak, spluttering spells aimed at them were a nice accompaniment to their meal. They mostly ignored the couple and seemed to be quite content to gorge themselves on the pastries and cakes and, cream, cream, cream and more cream! What did not get eaten got carelessly thrown at the floor, the walls and the owners. There was a great big glop of custard on the baker’s cheek and his wife almost slipped in the puddle of jam on the floor.

Astarion doubled over in laughter.

“Oh, this was not what I expected to see but I definitely needed this!”

“Oh hush,” you admonished him, feeling your own lips twitch as you fought a smile. “We have to help them.”

“The kobolds?”

You gave him a deadpan look.

“Right, so how should we go about this one, soldier?” Karlach shouldered her axe with a frown, “can hardly use most of my attacks.”

“Yes, in such close quarters and with this much flour in the air, a single spark will set off an explosion. Most magic might prove too destructive. I doubt that us destroying the building in an effort to drive the kobolds out will be received with thanks,” Gale frowned.

“Perhaps we could try to reason with them?” you suggested weakly. The idea was not without its merit. You did have a somewhat successful chat with the kobold at the Circus of the Last Days.

“Are you proposing to hold a conversation with these base creatures? Oh, I have to see this,” Astarion grinned, giving you a shallow mocking bow and motioning for you to proceed with the entertainment.

That bastard. Sometimes you could not believe that you let him get away with being such an ass.

You cleared your throat loudly, which garnered no reaction from both the battling parties. It took Gale briefly casting a Silence spell on the kobolds for them to realise that you and your companions were even in the kitchen. All inhuman senseless eyes turned to you as the creatures adjusted their stances, clearly seeing your group as a bigger threat than the baker and his wife.

“Right. Can somebody please tell me what is going on?” you motioned at the destruction.

“We give money for treatos!” kobolds screeched, each wanting to be the first to complain.

“One gold piece! It was not enough for all the buns that they demanded from us!” the baker protested loudly.

“You give no treatos, so we take treatos!”

“Oh, and just look at all the damage that you have done!” the baker’s wife lamented, wringing her hands and being quite understandably upset.

“Next time, you remember to give treatos. We give money!” the kobolds defended themselves, tongues flicking out of their mouths, shaking their scaly fists as they shouted about the great injustice that was committed against them.

“So how are you planning to defuse this one, darling?” Astarion leaned closer to you.

“Enjoying yourself, are you?”

“Very much.”

“Any chance you might want to contribute to the conversation?”

“When you are doing so splendidly? I don’t think so.”

The kobolds seemed to have decided that you were not on their side and started gathering whatever buns and cakes that were not destroyed. Their ammunition in their hands, they attacked in quick succession. Karlach and Gale were fortunately out of their range, but you and Astarion found yourself swiftly covered in jam, and cream, and sticky dough. Astarion roughly pulled you down behind an overturned table, the second barrage missing you by an inch as you dropped to the floor.

“Argh, just look at me! Will the horrors never cease!” Astarion flicked a flaky piece off his shoulder and into your face. “This is all your fault, you know! If only you did not have some kind of hero complex, we would have grabbed some cakes and been on our merry way. But noooo, we have to get involved!”

“Oh, shut it,” you hissed, “how could I have known this would happen?”

“Rule of thumb, if you see people in trouble, you walk away!”

“Astarion?”

“Yes?”

“You have jam in your curls.”

The look of pure horror on Astarion’s handsome face was just the revenge you needed.

“Gale! Slow spell!” you commanded, hoping he could still hear you over the cacophony of shrieks and cries.

“On it!”

You heard the incantation and dared peek from behind the table. The kobolds were still on the offensive, but their movements were sluggish, as if the air thickened and they had to fight against it.

“This is your last warning, you little rat bastards! Either you stop this, or we are going to turn your asses to stone and sell you to Popper!”

“Popper? You tell Popper? No tell Popper!”

Apparently, you mentioning the kobold from the Circus of the Last Days did the trick, as he was the law and order when it came to their community in the city. You rubbing shoulders with Popper, the best and the greatest of them all, was reason enough for the kobolds to regret their actions, renounce their fiendish ways, promise to never set foot near the bakery, and hastily make their way out of the kitchen.

Finally, there was silence. Complete blessed silence. Beautiful silence that lasted for a grand total of ten seconds before it was broken.

“Oh, these horrible creatures, I thought they would never leave!” the baker’s wife wiped her eyes as she tried and failed to hold back tears, “However can we thank you?”

“Coin always works best,” Astarion chose that moment to speak up.

“What coin?” the plump woman bawled pitifully, “we didn’t have the chance to sell anything!”

“Don’t worry about it,” you shot Astarion a look full of admonishment, “we were glad to help.”

“But of course we were,” Astarion rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “It was a pleasure to be of service,” he mocked and marched out of the room, muttering something derogatory under his breath.

The walk back to Elfsong was uncomfortable and silent. You were hungry, sticky and quite frankly not in the mood to entertain one of Astarion’s moods.

You knew that he was right, in a way. You didn’t have to help out everyone you came across on your journey. You could have looked the other way, turned a blind eye. But that wouldn’t be you. So, he would just have to deal with it!

You loved Astarion, faults and all. But if he berated you every time you chose to do a kind turn and made you feel small and stupid, then perhaps he shouldn’t have chosen to be in a relationship with you. Because you would do anything for Astarion, but you refused to change who you were on the off chance you would get a smidge of approval from him.

When you opened the door to your shared room at first there was complete silence. Everyone was trying and failing to keep a straight face as they looked at the damage done to you and Astarion.

“Oh, shut up!” Astarion shoved past Shadowheart, making sure to leave traces of cream and jam on her as he pushed her out of the way.

“I see you clearly fought a great, formidable foe today,” Lae’zel quipped sarcastically, “at least tell me that you were the victors.”

“Argh, so not in the mood to talk about it! Gale, could you do the talking, please? I just want to wash and sleep,” you grumbled and dropped your bow and arrows near the trunk. You could not wait to get out of your clothes and into a bath.

“Certainly, my friend,” Gale wanted to pat your shoulder, but then decided against it, not wanting to get whatever was on you onto himself.

It took several changes of water for you to scrub yourself clean. You were bone tired and prickly when you finally settled in, choosing to sleep alone rather than in the bed you and Astarion have been sharing pretty much ever since you started staying at Elfsong. You heard his annoyed huff from across the room and squeezed your eyes shut. If Astarion had a problem with your sleeping arrangements, he could shove his complaints in any orifice of his choosing. In spite of being worn out, it took hours of tossing and turning for you to finally drift off.

You were woken up by sunlight spilling into your eyes through the gap in the curtains. Rising and groggily rubbing your eyes, you noticed that your living quarters were empty, the others apparently deciding to let you sleep in and having gone out hours ago. You flopped back onto the bed and stretched out your sore muscles. Perhaps yesterday’s humiliating display was worth it if you were given the chance to have a lazy morning. But then you remembered your fight with Astarion, and your smile turned sour.

You heard the door open and shut as the subject of your musings came into the room. You quickly turned away and pretended to be resting, not really sure what to say to him. You felt the bed dip as he sat on the edge.

“Darling, I know that you are awake. Will you look at me, please? I come bearing treatos.”

And he did. He held a tray laden with butter buns, delicate little pastries, fruit tarts and an assortment of other mouthwatering, freshly baked delights.

“The baker sends his regards and says that you, as his favourite customer, can be assured to have a discount for life. So, dig in my sweet! I got you the coffee you like to go with it.”

You sat up and looked at your vampire, worrying your bottom lip with blunt teeth. Cautiously, as if not unsure whether you will accept the gesture, Astarion took your hand into his, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them gently.

“I think an apology is in order. I- I do get annoyed that you spend your energies on creatures who, quite frankly, don’t deserve you giving them a moment of your precious time. Someone odd and pathetic that you pick up on the roadside and decide their cause is worth fighting for.”

He put a cream puff onto a plate and handed it to you, long cool fingers brushing against yours. You took a tentative bite without breaking eye contact. It was lovely, not too sweet, delicious and flaky. Astarion brushed a speck off your lips with his thumb and cupped your cheek tenderly.

“But then I realised that at some point I too was an oddity that you chose not to leave behind. A creature who did not deserve your protection, just seeking to take advantage of your kind nature at the time. Recognising your worth and how truly wonderful you are as I got to know you.”

You felt something warm and pleasant bloom in your chest, Astarion’s words making your shoulders relax as you all but melted into his touch.

“So, no matter how aggravating you may be, and how you drive me up the wall with your selflessness, I do not want you to change. You are perfect in every way.”

And then you thew your arms around your vampire and kissed him, all the worries and troubles seeming insignificant as you got lost in each other’s touch. You felt Astarion release a shuddering breath against your lips as he deepened the kiss.

All was well in his world. You were his and he wanted you, faults and all. Even if that meant that he had to spend half the evening getting various foodstuffs out of his curls.

💖 Tag list 💖:

@ninty900, @ayselluna, @dajeong, @ravenswritingroom,

@misscrissfemmefatale, @clazberryk, @anukulee,

@preciouslittlebhaalbae,

@sh3rl0ck, @mellowenthusiast2299,

@fleetstreet78, @starlight-rogue,

@obsessedwhyyes, @arzen9

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #fanfic #astarion fanfiction #fanfiction #baldur's gate fanfiction #astarion x reader #augustarion #roguish cat

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rnadett · 1 month ago

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Here is your Big Fat Hero- Cailtyn 'defender' post

I somehow get that you think Caitlyn went too far, but so did the fandom. A lot of you talk about her as a 'dictator' and compare her use of The Grey to make her sound like Hitler, it seems people forget that she purposely used it only on her targets, not on civilians or all of Zaun. In fact, she even did a bit of a favor for Zaunites in the long term.

So let’s start analyzing the important aspects in a somewhat objective way. (Don’t mind my profile picture—I promise I'll try to be objective… or maybe not, who knows?)

EVEN after her mother died, Caitlyn still tried to protect the innocent in Zaun and tried to convincing the council not to start an invasion.

She even disagreed with Vi’s opinion on using the gauntlet (Hextech as a weapon), which we saw when she discussed it with Jayce.

This was her last scene before the attack on the memorial.

After that, we can clearly see how much it affected her; it fueled her anger (Good job, Ambessa—a true politician! No wonder Mel learned from her - except she is using it for better reasons). Yet, her anger wasn’t directed at civilians or all of Zaun.

Even then, she managed to call off the invasion, which she didn’t support in the first place. And after the attack, Vi talked her down in just two minutes—a point that hasn’t gotten enough credit, especially since it was her mother’s memorial.

This scene is also telling: there’s a storm brewing inside her, and while she wants to do the right thing, like protecting innocents from war, events escalate too quickly for her to reason through them and find a solution alone. Vi staying as her only remaining pillar in all this madness.

But yeah, her anger hasn’t faded just jet, but with Vi, they found an alternative—morally gray, but still better than risking a massacre between Zaun and Piltover.

And this is what they did. In the clip at the beginning of Episode 3, we see that they targeted ONLY gang members, not civilians in Zaun. I need to mention this a few times because there's already a misconception that Caitlyn and Vi are targeting or harming civilians.

But if you look at every frame, you’ll only see them going after gang members responsible for suffering and exploitation—Margot's and Chross's gangs, for example.

Oh, and let’s not forget, these were the people Isha was running from in the first place. A children!

So, Overall, this is just a continuation of what Vi tried to do in Season 1, but now with Caitlyn instead of Jayce (or alone).

So why does Caitlyn get all the blame?

As I see it, these actions were not hers alone; Vi was part of it too. In fact, this was Vi’s original plan (except the Jinx part, of course).

So, the point of my post is this: Yes, Caitlyn is heading in a bad direction, and killing—even gang members— with gas isn’t a good thing. But at this point, she and Vi haven’t harmed innocents. Despite how it looks, at least these actions prevent more innocent children, like Isha, from being harmed. Another question is where things will go now that Caitlyn has pushed Vi away (which I think was her only truly wrong action in Act 1).

Now Ambessa has taken Vi's place (in meaning of influence, not in any other way you little pervert) , and rather than calming her, Ambessa will fuel Caitlyn’s anger, grief, and self-hatred even more.

Oh my god, I love this scene. You can see the micro-expression on Ambessa's face, how satisfied she is, knowing how good she’s pulling the strings so far.

But I think we all feel that this match is far from over.

I also leave this here:

In the end, though, I believe that Caitlyn, no matter who’s currently influencing her, will have to decide her own path and who she truly is—without relying on anyone else. Even if we love her with Vi, this is something she needs to figure out ALONE.

Anyway, I might have written more in detail if Tumblr didn’t have a 10-image/post limit. Maybe I’ll make another post about the things I left out or would have expanded on.

#caitlyn kiramman #caitvi #arcane #arcane vi #vi arcane #arcane season 2 #arcane season 2 spoilers #ambessa medarda #mel medarda #jinx #jinx arcane #arcane s2 spoilers #arcane spoilers #arcane s2 #arcane discussion

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cl-0v3r · 2 months ago

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remember the days when you didn't like ambessa? what changed your mind about her?

HI ANONN , THATS A GOOD QUESTION!

Since the beginning I've always found it hard to trust Ambessa, it's not that I don't believe her experiences, she's one of the smartest characters in the whole show. But It's more about her relationship with Mel, I've always been so unsure about what her true feelings towards Mel are, she is a wolf, but undoubtedly a fox as well. Manipulation is like smooth sailing for her, and finding genuinity in her expressions always came with a little bit of doubt on the side, "Does she actually care? Is she manipulating the people around her -including Mel- JUST to get her way? Is she trustworthy with her intentions and feelings towards Mel?" And etc.

Only a little while ago did I realize that Ambessa is just extremely complex, she has so many layers, to the point where I didn't really have to time to clear my glasses about her character. I hated her for her morals, and i let that affect my interest towards this character as a whole, which is a huge mistake in my book. I also did take her a little personally sometimes, shes really realistic and it scared me a lot.

But ever since riot released the few beggining s2 trailers, I slowly started getting excited to see her. We did not get much screentime with Ambessa in s1, hence why I never felt a close attachment to her, and Mel was another reason on why I didn't like Ambessa because I'm attached to HER the most. Which reflects on my opinions on certain others, sort of like seeing things from her perspective. Mel is basically the base of my opinions on other characters if that makes sense?

Family, especially motherhood tropes are such a weakness for me, seeing her league voicelines and that music video they recently released (blood, sweat & tears) is what tipped the jar completely for me. We never got a clear indication on what Ambessas true perspective was, so finally seeing things from her eyes, hearing what she had to say, seeing how rough her past is made me understand why she became who she is in the current timeline.

And now I feel like I do not need to doubt everything she says, she does indeed love Mel as much as she does kino, she was not telling Mel in episode 9 all those things to weaken her for an open road, no. She'd went through hell and back just to keep her family safe despite how nuanced her actions are. seeing her lore simply made me do an entire 180⁰ turn.

She was going to accept her and her childs death and give in, but instead she chose to fight for her and their lives instead.

Kindred has the Lamb and the wolf. The lamb takes the lives of the dying peacefully, the wolf on the other hand, takes the lives of those who fight for their lives until they're dead.

And I find that interesting, gut wrenching and sickening mentally, thanks riot, good to know Ambessa is locked to the wolf in every single way <333

Thing is, what pains me is that she had no choice, she had to choose to die and leave everyone behind including the unborn child, or become the Medardas dictator, with the expense of her child's inevitable death. (Or perhaps I've taken this wrong)

From my understanding, the MV was more about Kino than it is about Mel, her letting go of the lamb was like handing the lamb for slaughter, a sacrifice, sort of like a "contract". Which lead to Kinos death despite how unrelated it was from kindred (like he didn't die by kindreds hands directly) . Hence why she was crying over the child figure/statue holding the lamb.

And later with the visual presentation of her pain too, someone please take the medardas pains and give it triple the amount to the actual worst fucking person to exist oh my god 😭 😭 😭

To summarize, I just never understood her character properly, I never got myself to do so. and that is a mistake from my side, I am a really visual person and the reason I really love arcane is because they don't really need words to express and show who their characters really are. Theres so many visual secrets and easterggs, expressionism, movements, colors, every single thing matters. And with Ambessa only appearing on the last 2 episodes?? Yeah I never felt like learning about her. But now im slowly starting to do that! She made it from my least character ever to like TOP 5 😭 😭

All of this will not change how horrible she is, she is a painted villain, ambiguous yes, but leaning on the darker sides. But that's what makes her Ambessa and no one else, I will forever hate her morals, I won't defend her actions. but her true intentions are meaningful nonetheless, with all the other characters too.

#arcane #mel medarda #mel arcane #ambessa medarda #arcane s2 #ambessa #mel and ambessa #arcane ambessa #ambessa arcane #ask #anon ask #anonymous #Semi analysis #kindred #I might have left out a few other things D:#ALSO FIRST ASK?!??@#YIPPEEEE

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heavenlymorals · 7 months ago

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How a Modern Perspective Skews Historical Characters: A Mini Rant on the Hatred of Female Characters in RDR2

This isn't that organized cuz it's more a rant than a retrospective but fuck it it's my blog, I do what I want-

There are so many people who have actual hatred, not criticisms, for Abigail, Molly, Grimshaw, Mary, and other female characters in the Red Dead universe.

And honestly? I find it very interesting. Sure, men will probably always find a reason to hate a female character, but what I find interesting is how many women also hate these wonderfully crafted characters.

It could be so many reasons as to why this may be the case but honestly? I think it's because people forget that they CANNOT analyze this game authentically through the modern lens of morals and behaviors. This game takes place in 1899 America. Let me say it again. This game takes place in 1899 America.

One more time, just for good measure- this game takes place in FUCKING 1899 America. Women had to be dependent on men because otherwise? They'll either be in poverty, exploited, killed, or all three. There was also the honor system. When had to be the moral high ground for their family so them messing up has consequences on their fathers, mothers, siblings, cousins, and anyone connected to their family name.

Abigail getting pissy at John for getting in trouble all the time? If course it'd feel annoying if you're looking at it through the modern perspective but when you don't, it's a woman telling her man to act like a man and be careful because if he doesn't, she and her son will be destitute and destroyed.

Mary not getting with Arthur but using him? What's the likely hood that the law would bother to help Mary when the two people she needs help with are her father and brother- two grown men who can make their own choices that she literally can do nothing about because as a woman, it wasn't her place to dictate what they do. Arthur was her only option. "Girl, what her family thinks doesn't matter, she still should've gotten with him" girl no, because it's much harder and difficult than that- it's like tearing away an entire identity that you depend on to fucking survive.

"but what about Sadie? She was also living during this time period and she isn't drowned by societal expectations-"

Seriously. Do some research, read a book, expand your knowledge of gender roles and what that entails for people because it explains so many things about these characters in such a human way. They aren't "bitches", they are women of their time and people have to understand that.

No. Sadie isn't a part of this discussion because though she is a fun character and an amazing character, she is a mishmash of historical women who did masculine things to survive at one point but then went back to traditional roles, even if they did occasionally go back to to those old activities for sport sometimes, like Anne Oakley or Calamity Jane. Sadie's entire character is basically "but what if they didn't and committed to the nontraditional lifestyle". There are many inconsistencies that Rockstar did regarding the time period that they established earlier to accommodate Sadie's character better. Sadie is a great character but she doesn't belong in this discussion.

Edit: Ok, since this was a rant, as mentioned previously, I was a bit too rushed with the Sadie aspect of this post and ignored some crucial details. I'm not gonna change the post besides just this though. @hillbillyhipster84 made some great points that Sadie was a reference to Appalachian women and real outlaw women who did run and were accomplices in men's crimes, that I was too ignorant to mention prior beforehand because I didn't do much research. I still don't believe that People should use Sadie to bash the other women though, because those women mentioned above were not the status quo and thus were more trivialized because of it.

So many cultures still operate like this too so if anything, you're just learning something new about another culture.

But I swear, anytime someone talks shit about these characters, y'all got me looking like this-

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #abigail marston #mary linton #susan grimshaw #molly o'shea #arthur morgan #rant post #historical #guys should i do a full post analyzing all the girlies from a historical period to better understand their character?

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aropodcastfuck · 1 month ago

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more arcane s2 spoilers bc i am losing my mind okay dont judge

also this is so much longer than i originally intended im so sorry

i will be honest with yall i have never liked cait

i hate cops too much to genuinely like her and her poor little rich kid thing always annoyed me (this is not to say she is not a well written character or that her ignorance and flaws are not intentional and purposeful in the story, i think this is essential to her character and is a well done display of how even well intentioned law enforcement are inherently corrupt and how money and privlege create ignorance)

with all that said I am enjoying her villain arc SO MUCH because its just proving everything ive always disliked about her was RIGHT

her trying to recruit vi as an enforcer shows her obvious ignorance to the actual relationship enforcers have with the undercity (although yes ik vi does join them eventually i have alot of opinions about that as well shocking ik)

leading a barrage on the undercity to get jinx which lets be honest here is a personal revenge mission for cait, it has nothing to do with whats actually best for piltover

using her mothers ventilation system designed to protect the undercity from the grey caused by the mining they do for piltover and using it as a weapon against them??? its such a good representation of how you can never trust people in power because no matter how good their intentions (trying to keep the undercity safe and healthy from the fumes) it takes one pissed of person to turn it all against you and there is nothing that the zaunites can do to stop her

cait straight up taking on the role of militant dictator now???? there will never be a good cop the system is built to enforce violence and desensitize its officers to their abuses of power

people at the top of the world, those with power and money and influence will always see the people below them as less than. that is a fact. caitlyn would rather kill who knows how many innocents of the underground because she wants vengence for her mothers death. the uppercities lives will always matter more to her than those below because she is steeped in her position and no amount of lesbian situationship will remove her from her privlege.

even in season 1 before this happend her motivations for trying to stop silco was never helping people, it was about proving herself and her value as an enforcer and to her parents her motivations have always been selfish to me and it only become worse since the attack has given her an excuse to indulge in the power and violence her position grants her

(also this is not trying to hate on anyone who likes her she is a fictional character and liking her has no indicator of a persons actual morality your allowed to feel however you wanna feel about her this is just my reactions to act 1 and her development so far)

#arcane #arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 #caitlyn kiramman #cait arcane

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thousandyearphantombunker · 13 days ago

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"women need to be meaner! Men shouldn't dictate a girls boundaries"

You couldn't handle Connie Maheswaran setting healthy (and much-needed) boundaries with her best friend. You freaking called her toxic and abusive. While season 3 of Amphibia is a hot mess Sasha Waybright being upset with Marcy isn't the problem! It makes sense she'd be pissed that she found out her friend borderline kidnapped her! Even if she can be read as kind of hypocritical, I think she has every reason to be upset! She's like what 14 at the oldest? In a terrifying situation?

It's always "set healthy boundaries" until they set boundaries with your favorite baby and don't spend 100% of their time supporting them/don't forgive their friends for their actions that hurt others

I'm sorry that Steven is your woobie child and Marcy is your comfort character but Connie and Sasha have a right to their feelings and a right to focus on their needs! It's always 'don't feel guilty about focusing on your needs' except not really because apparently focusing on yourself is actually selfish and it's morally wrong to feel certain ways about people! Connie isn't toxic- she acted really mature about the whole situation and while Sasha definitely is toxic- I think she has the right to be mad her friend borderline kidnapped her and broke her trust.

I am a firm believer in setting healthy boundaries and never letting anyone decide your boundaries for you especially when it comes to being supportive. Even if the person you are helping is a good person going through a rough patch you should still have boundaries with them- you can be supportive if you want but you should be your main priority in the need and as callous as it sounds it's not mandatory to give support to everyone especially if your being worn thin

#steven universe #connie maheswaran #amphibia #sasha waybright #I have my issues with both of these shows but these takes are cold #“Everyone has a right to feel upset or angry even if its over something dumb or hypocritical or something they've done to themselves”#And then y'all got mad at sasha #“we need to teach kids to have healthy boundaries”#You called a 12 year old toxic for needing a break from a stressful friendship #apparently Connie has to manage her future boyfriend's emotional state to be a good person #apparently sasha can't be mad she got kidnapped because she was emotionally abusive and 'brought it on herself' with her toxicity #-she's a freaking middle schooler with a bad homelife- how the hell does that translate to her deserving this shit?#don't get me started on the atla fandom #Zuko has to drop everything in his life to help his little sister even though he's not equipped for that shit at all and she tried to-#-murder him #Whether or not you think Azula should be redeemed- Zuko should not have to be her therapist- he's her brother she traumatized him and she -#needs actual help with like a therapist- not a perfectly forgiving older brother that will put up with her bullshit endlessly #but I wanted to focus on how people tend to be pissed at girls for having boundaries and not being cool team moms/sisters with everyone #god forbid women want space #heck i get mad at Yang from RWBY a lot but her not always being there for Ruby is a dumb complaint #'she ditched RWBY on her first day and didn't reply I love you back after Ruby woke up from a coma! what a bad big sister!'#NVM that yang and ruby could've ended up on separate teams and she can't coddle her forever/has friends and hobbies outside of being her-#-sister #never mind yang was still dealing with intense amounts of trauma #like a lot of RWDE takes actually hold some water but this one is so stupid #RWBY #Anti-RWDE I guess even though I think some people would count me as a RWDE #yang xiao long #ruby rose rwby #i swear to god

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teyamskxawng · 2 years ago

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In Heat [III]

Lo'ak Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Previously: Chapter I, Chapter II,

Keep reading: Chapter IV

The rundown: It proves to be an impossible task for Lo'ak to keep his distance from you while you're in heat, despite what he knows is morally right.

Warnings: 18+ content, smut-ish??, language, a lil angsty but not too much bc i hate writing angst, these two are almost painfully oblivious i'm sorry, characters are aged up, minors do not interact!! please

WC: 7.6k

After dutifully consuming the savory and surprisingly therapeutic soup and medicine that Kiri had prepared for you, you found yourself drifting into a deep and restful slumber.

It was the first time in ages you had managed to enjoy some truly restorative sleep. However, your dreams were an entirely different story. Despite the peaceful repose, your dreamscape was filled with vivid images of your best friend committing unspeakable acts upon your unsuspecting self.

You awoke from the dreams embarrassingly damp and unsatisfied. As a silver lining, however, you discovered that the once unbearable pain of your heat had subsided quite significantly.

The pesky pressure in your core still lingered, though it was more like a nagging nuisance rather than a crippling torment. It no longer dictated your existence, no longer forced you to spend each waking moment curled up on the floor in a fetal position with your hands between your legs.

Feeling rejuvenated and daring in your newfound strength, you resolved to throw all caution to the wind and seize the day. You decided to rejoin the land of the living, starting by joining the rest of your people for breakfast.

After a quick but very much necessary wash using some of the rainfall that you'd harvested in a pitcher behind your home, you finally made your way towards the heart of Hometree.

As you arrived, you marveled at the assortment of fruits and meats meticulously arranged for the clan's enjoyment. Though you had no qualms about mingling with your fellow clanspeople during your heat, you couldn't quite bring yourself to approach Lo'ak and his family, given the awkward circumstance you found yourself in.

With this in mind, you carefully selected a variety of fruits to fill your platter, diligently avoiding the yovo fruit as per Kiri's advice.

Scanning the area, you spotted an open space next to your good friend Näoo, a talented craftswoman-in-training who was a year your junior. You wasted no time in claiming your seat among the lively feast.

Upon noticing your presence, Näoo's eyes widened in surprise. You hadn't seen your friend in nearly four days, which honestly felt like an eternity.

Although life had taken the two of you on diverging paths–you training as a steadfast warrior and Näoo honing her skills as an artisan for the clan–you never let a day slip by without sharing at least one meal together. These cherished moments allowed you both to catch up on each other's lives and reminisce about your idyllic childhood memories.

“y/n! Where in Eywa's sake have you been?!" Näoo shrieked with such intensity that it caused several of the clan's elders to send grumpy, disapproving glances in your direction.

You couldn't help but snicker at your friend's unbridled excitement. With an amused smile, you gently covered the girl's mouth with your hand, hoping to silence her enthusiastic tirade.

Stubbornly undeterred, Näoo continued her animated gibberish into your palm, demonstrating her uncanny ability to maintain her energy even under such strenuous circumstances. After a few moments, she finally managed to pry your hand away from her mouth, rewarding you with a beaming grin.

"Well?" She eagerly prodded.

Näoo resolved to tone down her excitement, focusing her attention on the changes that she noticed in your appearance. Your darkened eyes and dilated pupils immediately caught her attention, and her expression shifted to one of mild confusion. Then, as if struck by a bolt of realization, her eyes widened in a comically exaggerated manner.

"You've started your first heat!" Näoo exclaimed in a far-too-loud tone, dripping with a mixture of shock and amusement.

You nearly rolled your eyes at the way everyone in your life seemed to possess some sort of innate heat-detection ability.

With an exasperated sigh, you pleaded, "Keep it down, please, yawne? I'd really appreciate it if the entire clan didn't become intimately familiar with my personal business, thank you very much."

Näoo's eyes twinkled with glee as she energetically bobbed her head in agreement, her hand instinctively coming up to stifle a giggle that threatened to escape her lips. However, the fleeting moment of composure only lasted a mere two seconds before the girl unleashed an avalanche of curious inquiries upon you.

"Okay, but when did it start? And how did you know? How are you even coping right now?"

With an empathetic and rather exaggerated air of concern, she mimicked Kiri's earlier gesture, extending her hand out and placing it firmly on your forehead.

This prompted you to react with an annoyed hiss, instinctively jerking your head away from the younger girl's intrusive touch.

"y/n, you're burning up," she declared with genuine concern. "Have you gone to the Tsahìk for healing yet, or do I have to drag you there myself? Have you told Neytiri??"

Growing aware of Näoo's unrivaled enthusiasm, you took it upon yourself to gently seize the girl's forearms, applying enough pressure to quell her eager advances. "Maybe," you began with a hint of sarcasm, "if you could find it in yourself to take a breath—just one teeny, tiny breath—I might actually have a fighting chance at answering one of your questions."

Amused by your quip, Näoo broke out into a fit of laughter. "Sorry, I'm sorry! It's just that none of my friends have experienced their heat yet, and I really need to be prepared for mine!"

You shook your head, amused by the girl's enthusiasm.

"Well," you began, taking a moment to compose yourself, "on the first day of my heat, I genuinely thought I was knocking on death's door, so..."

You almost laughed in Näoo's face at her expression of pure terror.

In all honesty, your potential demise could have resulted from one of two causes: the excruciating pain or the utterly mortifying way you had completely embarrassed yourself in front of Lo'ak. But, of course, those details were beside the point and certainly not something Näoo needed to know.

The last thing you needed was for her to have even more ammunition to tease you about your friendship with Lo'ak. Eywa knew the girl had already poked fun at you more than enough, insisting that it was impossible for two friends like you and Lo'ak not to have succumbed to romantic feelings for one another by now.

"Is the pain really that bad?" Näoo inquired, her features contorted by utter despair.

You paused for a moment, tilting your head as you pondered your response. "I'm sure it differs from person to person. I also didn't take any medicine for the pain until yesterday, so I think it was mostly my own doing."

Näoo, completely taken aback by your sheer stubbornness, gave your shoulder a playful but firm shove. "y/n, you idiot! It didn't occur to you to get help from someone before that? Not even…" Näoo trailed off, glancing warily over both shoulders to ensure that no one of interest was within earshot.

Satisfied with the apparent lack of eavesdroppers, Näoo leaned in closer to you, lowering her voice to an almost conspiratorial whisper. "Not even a certain four-fingered boy whose name happens to rhyme with Ko'ak?"

You cursed the way your breath hitched at the mere mention of the boy, even if it was veiled through an indirect description.

Over the past few days, it had become evident to you that feigning nonchalance was not at all your forte, so Näoo was quick to gasp in shock, dramatically bringing her hand up to cover her gaping mouth.

You, on the other hand, protested vehemently, "I didn't even say anything!"

Despite your objections, you could feel your heart pounding rapidly in your chest, much to your chagrin.

Näoo, not one to miss a beat, latched onto your hands with a nearly screeching intensity, exclaiming, "Exactly!"

You rolled your eyes, deliberately avoiding eye contact with the relentless girl in front of you.

Yet, Näoo continued her barrage of increasingly mortifying inquiries. "So, does that mean you guys…" Näoo's voice tapered off as she lifted her hands and gestured a crude imitation of what you could only assume was meant to be sexual in nature.

"Can you just... act normal for once?!" You snapped, swatting Näoo's hands away with force.

You could feel your face turning a deep shade of purple as images of you and Lo'ak filled your thoughts, images that went even further than your recent encounter. You pictured Lo'ak pressing you onto the forest floor, taking his time to completely and utterly ruin you, his lips leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, all the way down to your–

You seemed blissfully unaware of the eerie silence that enveloped Näoo as soon as she caught sight of the boy in question.

He was hurriedly making his way towards the pair of you, though his gaze was firmly fixed on you. In fact, you remained completely oblivious to his presence until your ears suddenly perked up, your heightened sense of smell picking up Lo'ak's unmistakable scent from an incredibly close distance.

Upon arriving for breakfast with his siblings, Lo'ak immediately noticed you from across the room, and his brow furrowed in confusion as to why you were out in public.

You needed rest, as Kiri had adamantly asserted. Even more so, you weren't yourself at the moment–it was as if your mind wasn't under your control. Lo'ak knew that having his best friend out and about, unguarded, was a stupid decision. It wasn't safe. That was all there was to it.

Struggling to suppress the possessive part of him that didn't want anyone, especially any other guys in the clan, to see you in your current vulnerable and lust-ridden state, Lo'ak forced his primary concern to be your safety.

He figured you would be much safer back in your home, surrounded by the comforting solitude of your familiar surroundings. So, he resolved that he would step up and be the one to make sure you retreated to that safe haven.

At your lack of a verbal response, Lo'ak decided to take a gentler approach.

He carefully shook your shoulder and tried once more to hold your gaze. "y/n, can we talk for a second?" he asked hesitantly, his voice carrying a hint of uncertainty.

While posing the question, he casted a sideways glance at Näoo, who he knew happened to be one of your closest friends.

He hoped that she would register his unspoken plea for some privacy. Näoo, however, seemed utterly captivated by the ongoing drama playing out right in front of her, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

Exasperated, Lo'ak added with an unmistakable bluntness, "Alone?"

Enveloped in a delightful mixture of lightness and tingling sensations from Lo'ak's tender touch and close proximity, you could merely offer a languid nod. Lo'ak, taking the initiative, gently tugged you by the arm, guiding you away.

Oddly enough, despite mentioning his desire to speak with you, Lo'ak remained tight-lipped.

Instead, he had successfully escorted you across the entire expanse of the dining area and back over the pathway that led to your humble abode, all without uttering a single word.

"Why are we going back here?" Your curiosity was piqued, but a large part of you longed for some private time with Lo'ak.

However, the more sensible side of you, buried underneath your lustful fog, was annoyed that you were just manhandled away from the meal you were sharing with your friend.

Lo'ak remained silent, his eyes fixated on the path before him as he guided you toward your home, holding your arm with a tender yet firm grip. Your heart thrummed at his silence, an involuntary breathy noise sounding from the back of your throat.

Capturing Lo'ak's attention by gently squeezing his arm, you questioned, "Lo'ak?"

Lo'ak's emotions were a swirling whirlpool of frustration, with jealousy, guilt, annoyance, and arousal all bubbling within his chest. Exhaling a heavy sigh, he finally spoke. "What were you doing out there? You're still in heat, y/n. It's not safe."

You couldn't help the flush that took over your entire body at Lo'ak's caring and protective energy wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Still, you found yourself confused as to why he would think you were unsafe out there when all you were doing was eating with your friend. The furrowing of your brow betrayed your confusion as you uttered, "Not safe?"

Lo'ak released an exasperated sigh, fully aware that he was venturing into overly-protective territory. However, there was no way he would admit that in front of you now. With a stoic face, he simply replied, "Yes."

His one-word answer didn't satisfy your curiosity, and you persistently questioned, "Why?" Your concern escalated as your grip around his arm tightened, your nails threateningly digging into his skin.

Fumbling for a credible explanation, Lo'ak began unconvincingly, "Because, y/n. Kiri said it herself; you need rest. And you're still–you know." He trailed off, praying to Eywa that you understood what he was trying to say so that he didn't have to say it again.

You rolled your eyes dramatically, your grip on his arm slowly losing strength as you finally released him from your grasp.

"I was doing perfectly fine out there with Näoo, Lo'ak. We were just talking; I hadn't seen her in days."

With that, you decisively crossed your arms in a clear display of defiance, your stubbornness shining through even amidst the trials and tribulations of your heat.

Under different circumstances, Lo'ak might have found himself chuckling at your unyielding nature, but at this moment, he couldn't shake the feeling that you were completely missing the point. Trying to enlighten you, he simply stated, "Yeah, well, Näoo is a girl."

To his surprise, you burst out into a small, amused laugh. "And the sky is blue, Lo'ak. You're not making any sense at all."

With a groan, Lo'ak dropped his head and swept a hand over his face in exasperation.

"Look," he started, hoping to make a serious point, "some guys out there wouldn't think twice about taking advantage of you in the state that you're in right now. Even I should've stopped when you came to me the other day." He shook his head, remembering the situation vividly. "You were hurting, clearly, but it was so wrong of me to… you were still…"

Lo'ak's voice tapered off, his mind clearly tormented by the recollection of that initial day of your heat. The memory hovered in the air like a stubborn ghost, unwilling to leave.

You, however, were quick to react, shaking your head in vehement defiance. You adamantly moved to reassure him, eager to set the record straight.

"No," you protested, "I asked you to. I was practically begging, Lo'ak. I knew exactly what I was asking for."

Lo'ak's eyes suddenly grew wide in sheer disbelief upon hearing your admission.

He found himself mulling over your words, trying to decipher their hidden meaning, if there even was one. What could you possibly mean by that? His attempts at reading between the lines were futile, only serving to fuel his doubt further. It was all so confusing to him.

His thoughts spinning, Lo'ak couldn't help but question the version of you before him.

Was he speaking to the you that the realm of your heat had altered? Or was this the you that he knew–the one who cared for him in a friendly, best-friend kind of way?

Time was of the essence, yet it stood stubbornly still, refusing to reveal the truth.

He shook his head, adamant on believing that until you finished your heat, he couldn't take your actions or words at face value. Your mind wasn't entirely your own, and he had to accept that for now.

He explained as much to you. "It doesn't matter. That wasn't you, not really. What happened that day shouldn't have happened at all."

You exhaled unsteadily, trying to cope with the sting caused by Lo'ak's harsh words. "Stop," you plead. "Don't say that. I know what I said."

Lo'ak clenched his jaw, biting his lip nervously, summoning every ounce of strength to keep from succumbing to your impassioned plea. "If you still feel that way after your heat is over, you'll have to tell me yourself then, but–"

You, refusing to let him finish, interrupted and stepped back into his personal territory. You reached out for his arm yet again—a gesture that had grown familiar and comforting between you two.

With a defiant shake of your head, you desperately tried to persuade yourself that you were misinterpreting his message. "Lo'ak, no," your voice cracked, laden with a heart-wrenching vulnerability that pierced Lo'ak, causing him to mentally curse.

He was sure he could feel his own heart fracture under the weight of your pain.

In that agonizing moment, he forced himself to wrench his arm from your delicate grasp, putting a sizable gap between him and you as he took a calculated step backward, hoping the added distance would help him retain his composure.

"I'm serious, y/n," he asserts with conviction, "I'm not touching you."

Despite his protestations, the meager foot of separation between you two rapidly diminished as you inched closer. You cornered Lo'ak further into your home, against the edge of your table, leaving him with nowhere to go.

You were dripping with desire, and Lo'ak was almost sure that his own longing was reflected on his face.

"But you want to, don't you?" You inquired with a hopeful gleam in your eye.

Your gaze shamelessly drifted downward, focusing on the unmistakable bulge within Lo'ak's loincloth. Suppressing a grin, your lower lip vanished momentarily between your razor-sharp canines. You extended a scorching hand towards Lo'ak's chest, trailing a solitary finger downwards in a languid, tantalizing motion.

When you met the edge of his loincloth, a shaky exhale left your lips. "You do." you breathed.

Lo'ak's senses abruptly came to life, jolting him out of his daze, an internal voice screaming at him that he needed to get out of there–that the person in front of him wasn't you.

Instantly, he stepped to the side away from your wandering hand. His head hung low and he felt a strange mixture of embarrassment and shame, wondering how he ever lost control of himself like that.

He knew he needed to leave, and quickly, before he did something really, really dumb. He managed to blurt out, "I'll be back to check on you in a few hours. I'll bring lunch," as he finally found the resolve to make his way toward the door.

Meanwhile, you were livid. "Lo'ak! You're such a–!" but the words just seemed to disappear into thin air as you struggled to find an expression strong enough to convey your seething rage.

In your anger, you kicked the nearby table with a ferocity that could've shaken the heavens, and with bared fangs, you let out a furious hiss.

Your emotions consumed you as hot, angry tears began to pool in your eyes. You cursed the hormonal fury of your heat for turning you into a red-hot, emotional train wreck.

Standing at the entryway, Lo'ak couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief, attempting to persuade not only you but also himself that the course you both were embarking on was dangerously stupid.

As a last-ditch effort to prevent Lo'ak from abandoning you, you sneered at his retreating back and spit out, "Fine, go ahead and leave! I'll just go fuck someone else, then!"

Much to your satisfaction, Lo'ak froze in place, the muscles in his back going stiff as his hand hesitated on the exit flap.

You continued, unabashedly pushing him further. "I bet Teon'i wouldn't mind having me. Maybe Oa—he's really handsome. Or maybe I'll go find Neteyam.

You were definitely pushing it with that final comment.

Although you knew it was all entirely a lie, Lo'ak feared the unsettling truth within your words. His jaw tightened, and he released a self-deprecating snort, even though there was nothing remotely funny about your ultimatum.

In a low, tense voice, he said, "You're being childish."

Not one to back down easily, you retorted with a shout, "And you're being a coward! I'm in the middle of my first heat, for Eywa's sake! I'm not supposed to face it alone!"

The silence that descended upon the two of you was so thick with tension you could cut it with a knife. You knew you were desperate when you had to resort to begging. "Just stay. Please," you implored, your voice thin with urgency.

Lo'ak, taken aback by your plea, noticed how your voice quivered as if you were on the verge of tears. It made his stomach churn with guilt. Unable to shake the image of you, alone and in tears, he finally looked into your eyes, which, as he suspected, were misty with unshed tears. Your ears lay flat against your skull, emphasizing your vulnerable state.

A sense of responsibility washed over Lo'ak, realizing that he'd be nothing short of evil if he abandoned you like that.

With a sigh of resignation, he gave in to your pleas. "Fine," he muttered begrudgingly. "But I'm not touching you. I won't."

Elated by his response, you nodded your head with a bit too much enthusiasm. A wide, contagious smile cracked your previously somber expression, shining a light in your tearful eyes.

Despite Lo'ak's attempt to maintain his facade of indignation as he shook his head at you, he couldn't help but feel a twitch in his lips that lifted into the briefest hint of a smile.

He knew, deep down, that you could likely charm him into anything you desired. He was so wrapped around your finger; it was actually kind of scary.

An amused grin overtook your face as you teasingly remarked, "My Eywa, you're so submissive." Your observation yanked Lo'ak out of his thoughts and back to reality. Indignantly, he muttered, "I'm not submissive."

Because he wasn't. Not usually, at least. You just happened to bring the worst out of him, making him all dutiful and obedient whenever you'd look at him with those eyes.

With a dismissive shake of his head, Lo'ak walked to the opposite side of the room, eager to distance himself from the conversation.

Spotting the same spear you had been sharpening the other night, Lo'ak snatched it up and unsheathed his own dagger. He started sharpening the spear with an air of determination, hoping the action would put an end to your shameless accusations.

His hopes were futile, however, as you snickered in response. In no time, you evolved into a full-blown, doubled-over, hand-on-mouth kind of laughter.

Between gasping breaths, you managed to say, "You really are! Your submissive ass just sat down and started sharpening my spear for me!"

You pointed an accusatory finger at the spear in question, causing Lo'ak to pause and stare at the object as if he'd been caught red-handed.

Feeling the weight of the evidence against him, Lo'ak offered a weak defense, "It was the first thing I saw."

Smirking, you shook your head playfully as you teased, "Your submissive instincts must be strong."

Lo'ak snorted at your comment before replying, "Shut up. I just wanted something to do."

Your ears stood to attention upon hearing his response. Your mind, still clouded by desire, processed your friend's words in a way that twisted the initial meaning.

You muttered under your breath, yet audibly enough for Lo'ak to catch the misinterpreted remark, "I'm right here…"

At that, Lo'ak's tail abruptly curled into a tight c behind him, clearly indicating his surprise at your interpretation of his comment.

Your cheeks flushed at your lack of self-restraint. You had been diligently working to suppress the side of yourself that was prone to being engulfed in the grips of desire during your heat. You already made a fool of yourself just a few minutes ago, begging Lo'ak to stay with you.

"Sorry," you muttered, quickly averting your eyes from Lo'ak as a wave of mortification washed over you.

"'S okay." Lo'ak simply replied, but even as the words left his mouth, you could already sense the truth–things were anything but okay, especially for you.

You thought you could get through the day without your morning go at it, without letting your fingers give in to the tempting invitation of a sweet release immediately after waking up. Not only had you avoided giving in to your lust-filled urges, but you hadn't taken your medicine, opting to eat in the center of Hometree instead.

Those decisions ended up backfiring, as both lapses in your judgment only intensified the sensations invoked by your current predicament.

You found yourself wrestling to suppress the overwhelming urge as you absentmindedly reached for a smaller spear to sharpen alongside Lo'ak.

Though your hands were now occupied, your eyes found their way back to the boy sitting across from you. Lo'ak, wholly absorbed in his own task, had furrowed brows reflecting his deep concentration. He was hunched over the spear, the flickering fire casting dark shadows along the contours of his body, along the curves of his muscular frame. The image of a mighty warrior lost in his craft.

Suddenly, you heard an unexpected snap–the kind of sound that interrupts an all-consuming daydream.

Startled, you glanced down to realize that during your momentary reverie, you had focused your sharpening efforts solely on one spot, causing the spear's entire tip to break off and fall to the ground in front of you.

Shocked by your clumsiness, you stared blankly at the jagged piece of wood helplessly laying near your feet. Your brain scrambled to catch up. And yet, all you could think about was Lo'ak.

By this time, Lo'ak had noticed your distress and the snap that brought him back to reality. His expression now one of concern, he called out your name and lowered his gaze, attempting to meet your eyes.

"Yeah?" you hesitantly replied, still shaken.

Eager to brush off the embarrassing incident, you shook your head to snap out of your daze and began to hurriedly gather the broken shards of wood from the ground.

Lo'ak visibly relaxed at your verbal response, shaking his head in amusement at what he assumed was just you being your usual clumsy self.

"Got a little too excited there?" He teased, a playful glint in his eyes, his fangs making a brief appearance in his broad grin.

You felt your self-control wavering dangerously; that sultry voice, coupled with his infectious smile, was enough to make you snap–just like the spear you once held in your hands. You were well aware of your weakness, so you grabbed the opportunity to find your escape.

Silently cursing your racing heart, you clumsily rose to your feet, swaying a tad as you did so.

Feigning fatigue, you announced, "I think I'm gonna lay down for a bit. Tired."

Lo'ak's body shifted towards you, his previous mirth replaced by palpable concern. "Are you good?"

No, you wanted to respond. You were absolutely not good.

But you had vowed to maintain your composure in Lo'ak's presence. You had promised him that you'd behave appropriately, ensuring he would remain by your side. So, with a shaky breath, you lied. Nodding your head determinedly and delivering a strained, unconvincing smile, you tried to reassure him.

"Yeah, it's just–I haven't been sleeping well lately. It'll only be a quick nap."

Lo'ak's sharp features softened as he considered your words, only partially convinced by your façade. Nonetheless, he offered a nod.

"Okay. I'll stay here then."

You nodded, taking a deep breath before pivoting on your heel and squeezing your eyes shut in exasperation. You were so, so fucked.

Now you had to go lie on your sleeping mat and pretend you weren't a horny, desperate, aching mess.

You ambled across the room, stepping cautiously yet deliberately as if walking on eggshells. Your heightened senses made you acutely aware of Lo'ak's piercing gaze following your every move. It felt like you were being branded by the sun, and your senses tingled as if to echo your desperation.

Making your way to your sleeping mat, you took extra precautions to keep your back to Lo'ak. You knew very well that if your eyes met again, any last remaining shreds of your self-control would vanish instantly.

Positioning yourself on your mat, you laid on your side, your body tensed in anticipation. Under the pretense of finding a comfortable spot, you placed one hand beneath your head as a makeshift pillow while the other balled into a tight, quivering fist that you hugged against your chest.

You kept your eyes open wide. If you dared to close them, you'd be met with all the sinful things you wanted Lo'ak to do to you, as usual.

No more than five minutes later, you found yourself unable to hold out any longer.

Your heart pounded furiously in your chest as if it wanted to burst free, and your entire being felt like it was engulfed in a blazing inferno. The relentless throbbing between your legs had you hopelessly disoriented. You could barely resist the urge to reach down and tend to your needs, to alleviate the unbearable tension and discomfort. You didn't even care that Lo'ak was in the same room as you. This entire predicament was his fault, anyways.

You genuinely contemplated just reaching down and going at it right then and there without saying a word to Lo'ak. But instead of acting on that impulsive notion, you opted to address him instead.

"Lo'ak?" you inquired tentatively.

Lo'ak had been meticulously sharpening your weapons. So absorbed in his task, he was only half-aware of the fact that he was now on his fifth one. But the sound of your voice tore him from his trance-like focus.

"Yeah?" he asked, caught off guard.

He was under the impression that you had fallen asleep. By all appearances, you were fast asleep–laying perfectly still and silent since the moment you had collapsed onto the mat. Lo'ak was entirely unprepared for what you said next.

"Can you face the other way?"

His mind struggled to comprehend the request, rendering him speechless in bewilderment.

Sensing his confusion, you elaborated, a note of desperation creeping into your voice, "Please?"

Lo'ak, still trying to make sense of the situation, stared at you in confusion. Despite initiating the conversation, you maintained your previous position–motionless on your side, your back turned toward him.

Slowly, he nodded his head, a futile gesture considering you were in no position to witness the action. "Yeah," he agreed, albeit hesitantly. Lo'ak mulled over your odd request before finally adding, "Why?"

With an exasperated groan, you responded to Lo'ak's inquiry.

"Because I said so!" you declared. Lo'ak, sensing a sudden change in your attitude, proceeded with caution.

"y/n…"

At that moment, a pained whimper escaped your lips, causing Lo'ak's eyes to widen in surprise.

In an effort to alleviate your discomfort, you rolled onto your back. You adjusted your legs and feet to elevate your knees–your thighs pressed together, and your breathing became increasingly rapid.

"I need to make myself come. Right now," you plainly stated.

Lo'ak, momentarily stunned by your demand, hastily stood up and let go of the spear he had been attentively sharpening.

Despite his overwhelming desire to satisfy your immediate need for pleasure, he was fully aware of the moral consequences of his actions. He had made a solemn vow, and he intended to stand by his promise.

With that, he nodded his head and spoke up. "I'll just go wait outside." However, his movements were abruptly halted when you suddenly sat up, your voice hissing a sharp "No!"

You threw your head back in an exasperated groan, your long neck bared, your jaw sharp and all too inviting. "Fuck, Lo'ak. You promised you'd stay."

Lo'ak had to shake his head and pull his wandering gaze away from you, effortlessly beautiful with your head thrown back in aggrevation, in an attempt to regain focus on the conversation at hand.

"I know, y/n, but I—"

You cut Lo'ak off, your words tumbling out in annoyance.

"Just go sharpen my things in that corner or something. You don't have to look at me. I just need to be able to see you."

You pointed to a dimly-lit corner of the room, and Lo'ak knew he had no choice but to obey your command. As he made his way over to the designated area, he was fully aware that he was dangerously pushing the boundaries of his earlier promise.

Lo'ak cautiously settled himself in the corner with his back towards you, as far away from you as the room allowed.

With a sigh of relief, you exhaled, "Good."

Your voice was sultry, and Lo'ak was humiliated to feel himself twitch at your breathy praise. This was so, so wrong.

Feeling the need for a distraction, he hastily grabbed the half-sharpened spear nearby. Absent-mindedly, he used his dagger to whittle away at the spearhead in an attempt to zone out of his current situation.

But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't block out the sound of your panting breath. He couldn't ignore the rustling of fabric as you most definitely stripped off your loincloth. He couldn't ignore the wet squelches and the delicate moans you made as you shamelessly pleasured yourself across the dimly lit room.

Ever since the fateful encounter in the forest, Lo'ak had yearned to hear you make those sounds again; he'd dreamed about it. But now, to hear it again, with his own ears, knowing that he couldn't let himself see or touch you–it was the cruelest form of torture.

At the unexpected sound of a hiss, Lo'ak's ears instantly perked up. It wasn't the kind of hiss one would associate with pleasure–the hiss was more so angry, bordering on a frustrated scream.

Lo'ak's focus was now completely fixed on the situation, but he made sure not to let his eyes wander to you, where you lay behind him just across the room, half bare.

Up until that moment, Lo'ak had been successful in staying silent, allowing you to do whatever it was that you had to do in peace. However, when he heard the second pained hiss, a peculiar sense of curiosity and concern took over, compelling him to blurt out, "Are you okay?"

For several agonizing seconds, the only sounds that filled Lo'ak's ears were your labored breaths and the wet noises created by the movements of your fingers–noises that made Lo'ak's imagination run wild.

Finally, you spoke up, your tone a mixture of complaint and exasperation.

"Your skxawng-ass fingers are so much bigger than mine; it's not the same," you explained, your voice coming out rushed and breathy.

Lo'ak lowered his head, shutting his eyes tightly as he attempted, with little success, to maintain a steady breathing pattern.

You, on the other hand, were going off on a tirade, your words tumbling out almost incoherently, "So stupid. You and your…your four fucking fingers–" you start. "Don't even know why you'd need four fingers. Probably compensating for your tiny—oh, fuck!"

Your snide tease was suddenly interrupted by a moan of intense pleasure.

Lo'ak couldn't believe his ears, and despite himself, he barely suppressed a laugh at your completely unexpected diss. He found your taunts equal parts amusing and oddly hot, but he'd never confess to that aloud.

Meanwhile, the slippery sounds emanating from the opposite side of the room, along with your gasps of pleasure, grew louder and quicker.

"Lo'ak," you moaned, breathy and desperate. The depths of emotion in your voice were so powerful that Lo'ak had to hold his breath and close his eyes, afraid that one wrong move might result in him crossing a line that should never be crossed.

The resonant sound of your wet noises gradually ceased to fill the air, leaving only your labored breathing as it slowly returned to a normal pace.

As the seemingly endless moments passed by, Lo'ak remained frozen in place, uncertain if the slightest motion would shatter the fragile balance between reality and fantasy.

For a moment, he wondered if everything that happened was all just a figment of his imagination–some twisted, perverse dream that threatened to consume his waking thoughts.

But it soon became evident that everything that happened was indeed very real.

The subtle sounds of fabric rustling drifted across the room as you likely began to readjust your loincloth, doing your best to return to a semblance of normalcy.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, you finally spoke up, "Okay. You can turn back around now."

Lo'ak nearly laughed out loud at how you could be so casual about the entire situation. It was as if you relishing in your own pleasure on the other side of the room while he merely sat there and listened was nothing more than a brief interlude to your otherwise typical afternoon.

Quickly, before he stood up and turned back around, Lo'ak crossed his arms in front of his lower half in a feeble attempt to conceal the extent to which your actions had affected him.

His efforts were mostly in vain, as you almost immediately directed your gaze downward toward his awkward stance, zoning in on the poorly-concealed tent in his loincloth.

A small grin made its way across your cheeks, your face still flushed from the moment's passion. Your hair was kind of messy from lying on the floor, but in Lo'ak's eyes, he swore you'd never looked more beautiful.

"Feels better," you remarked with a hint of pride in your voice, your stare so piercing that Lo'ak could only muster the strength to blink and jerk his head in agreement.

"I think I'm actually getting better at controlling my urges," you added, either oblivious or simply indifferent to the fact that you'd left Lo'ak at a complete loss for words. "I didn't pounce on you. Or lick you. Or bite you."

You laughed at your own words and all Lo'ak could manage to do was to bring himself to nod once more, attempting to give you some indication that he was still alive, although barely hanging on to his senses.

"The begging is still embarrassing, though," you continued with a cheeky grin, shaking your head and finally looking away, giving Lo'ak a moment to recover.

Lo'ak couldn't deny that you were at least somewhat right, though.

You seemed more in control of yourself compared to the day prior, as though you had something to prove–a point to make. Your previously desperate ramblings and cries for help had transformed into shameless, flirtatious banter and an unbroken chain of colorful curses. It was almost like you were back your normal self, albeit a very... sensuous version of yourself.

"Do you also need to take care of yourself, Lo'ak? I promise I won't look." You gazed up at him, your eyes dancing with mischievous intent as a smug grin threatened to take over your entire face.

Lo'ak bit down on the inside of his cheek, doing his best to look away and shield himself from your piercing stare that seemed to cut right through him.

"Funny," he forced out, attempting to infuse his voice with a level of seriousness and deadpan sarcasm that, given the circumstances, he just couldn't quite muster. Instead, it emerged in a manner that was breathier and weaker than he'd intended, reflecting the fragile state he found himself in at that moment.

Silence stretched between the two of you, the situation seeming to take on a life of its own.

You finally broke the silence with a snort and a chortle escaping your lips before evolving into full-blown laughter. Lo'ak couldn't resist the infectious nature of your mirth, and he, too, succumbed to the sudden hilarity that had blossomed around you.

As the laughter finally began to subside, you unintentionally let out a loud yawn, suddenly feeling genuinely exhausted after having worked yourself up earlier.

Lo'ak chuckled at the display before him. "Was that a fake yawn or a real one?" He asked, his eyes full of knowing mirth.

You rolled your eyes and felt a tinge of embarrassment at the realization that you had faked being tired to ignore the almost animalistic attraction you felt towards your best friend.

You consoled yourself by taking pleasure in the memory of Lo'ak trying to hide his errection just a few moments prior.

Even though he had done an excellent job of not giving in to your desperate pleas for his touch, he was clearly struggling to control his body's reactions around you.

You settled yourself back on your sleeping mat, blinking up at the ceiling as you fought off the urge to close your eyes. Exhaustion settled deep within you, making it that much harder to resist the pull of sleep.

"Being so horny all the time really takes its toll on you," you murmured playfully, your voice heavy with fatigue.

Lo'ak watched you, a small smile tugging at his lips. He saw you go from angry, to sexy, to adorable, all within the span of a few minutes, and it simply amazed him.

"You should sleep, then. For real this time." he suggested, hoping it might finally persuade you to rest.

Silence settled over you both for a beat, and you remained still, battling your fatigue. You knew he was right, and the pull of sleep was too strong to resist much longer. But at the same time, you didn't want to admit defeat. So you simply closed your eyes and feigned ignorance.

At the sound of your continued silence, Lo'ak began to worry that you had already dozed off on him.

"y/n?" he called out to you with growing uncertainty.

Without opening your eyes, you replied with a barely audible humming sound. Lo'ak took this as a signal that he had only a few moments left with you before you were fully asleep.

"Do you think you can handle being by yourself for the next few hours while you rest?" he asked tentatively. He was admittedly nervous at the thought of leaving you alone for such a long period of time. "Just until after my training this afternoon. I can bring back lunch when I'm done." he offered, hoping to reassure you.

Finally, you opened your eyes ever so slightly to meet Lo'ak's gaze. With a slight nod, you agreed. "Yeah. Thanks, Lo'," you murmured.

The nickname made Lo'ak's heart swell.

Even though you've used it countless times—since you were little kids—it sounded so different rolling off your tongue. There was something about the way you said it that was new, more personal, intimate.

Lo'ak felt a warm flush rising in his cheeks as he dipped his head, trying to hide the sudden rush of emotion that coursed through him. You were still drowsy from your heat, your eyes half shut and your expression soft.

"Alright. Good. See you, I guess." Lo'ak stammered, his words stumbling over one another as he made his way to the door.

He cursed himself as the flap swung shut, wondering why he had to toe the line he himself had drawn when you were in the throes of your heat.

He couldn't deny that he enjoyed the way you acted while you were in heat–the extra softness, the way you clung to him as if he were the only stable thing in your world, the way you looked at him with a mix of confusion and desire that made his heart race faster than he'd ever admit.

You looked at him as if you saw something more in him, something more than just your platonic friend. But he felt guilty for savoring those last few days–he hated seeing you in pain and out of control, even if it did give him a little thrill to be the one that you turned to.

As he stepped outside, he couldn't help but think of how much he'd miss that version of you once you were no longer in heat.

He had always known that it was just the effects of your natural cycle that made you this way–shamelessly needy and hypersensitive to every touch and word. But he couldn't help wishing that there was more than just your heat that made you look at him with such longing.

You and he had always been inseparable, practically joined at the hip. It was no secret that you both felt most at ease in each other's company. He knew deep down that he harbored feelings for you that went beyond friendship–feelings that he probably shouldn't entertain.

Still, he kept this secret locked away, fearing the potential destruction of the special bond that the two of you had.

He almost did it today, though.

His jealousy raged like wildfire at the mere mention of you engaging with one of his friends–let alone with his brother–in a more-than-friendly manner.

Despite his better judgment, he found himself giving in to your pleas, imploring him to stay by your side even though he fully understood how quickly things could escalate.

He was genuinely powerless to resist the way you stirred him–the way he let himself become physically affected by just the sound of your voice. You practically stared at the physical evidence of your effect on him in the face.

Lo'ak was acutely aware of how obvious it was, the way you made him feel. He could only hope you wouldn't remember the minute details once you finished your heat. He honestly had no idea how the process worked.

You claimed that you knew exactly what you were doing, of what you asked of him that first day, that you were fully aware of the consequences, but were you really? Sure, maybe heat-induced you knew what you were saying, but would you—the real you that would emerge after your heat—be able to say those same things? He guiltily hoped so.

Taglist <3: @vanillawhale, @strawberryclouds22, @countryandsweetbabygirl, @kurogxrix, @yunonaneko

Previously: Chapter I, Chapter II,

Keep reading: Chapter IV

#teyamskxawng #teyamskxawng’s fics #lo'ak x reader #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak smut #lo'ak smut #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2022 #atwow #lo'ak x y/n #lo’ak x y/n #lo'ak sully #lo’ak #lo'ak fanfiction #avatar fanfiction #james cameron avatar

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