#but if we're feeling like shit it means we don't have to risk seeing anything that's gonna fuck us up for the rest of the day

[thethingything]

as a side note on the morality OCD thing, filtering phrases like "reblog if", "if you can't reblog this", "can and should reblog", "reblog this version", etc has helped immensely with not seeing as much of the guilt tripping bullshit on here. there are probably more but these are the ones on our filtered post content list so far.

also if you're on desktop, the Xkit Rewritten extension has a "tweaks" section for a bunch of dashboard stuff that includes the options "use a slim layout for filtered posts" which makes those posts take up less space, and "hide filtered posts entirely" so they don't show up on your dash at all if you need that option

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.

1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.

2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.

So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.

Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.

He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.

Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.

Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.

I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.

He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.

I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.

OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.

Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world

PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox

Original post

[greenconverses]

As I've mentioned a few times times, one of the actual interesting things Riordan is doing in this new series is mentioning Percy's obvious rage issues and then not actually doing anything with it other than making Percy swallow the anger down so he stays Nice and Controlled at all times.

Which, if we were dealing with pre-Disney+ show deal RR, could be a great character arc over the course of the series where Percy learns to actually deal with his anger and trauma while he's actively being triggered by petty godly bullshit. But Wrath made it pretty clear he's okay with letting Percy eat shit emotionally as long as everyone is one big happy team in the end and we're Therapy Speaking ourselves into the sunset, so I don't think that's happening.

Wrath sets up a conflict between Grover and Percy that's pretty simple: Grover eats a magical thing he's specifically told not eat and causes chaos that puts Percy's quest at risk. Reminder, these stupid quests are so Percy can get into college and Grover knows this. Percy gets angry at Grover; so angry Annabeth can see it and shoos him out of the room so he doesn't explode. And then he just... tries to stop being angry, assumes Grover means well, and carries on pretending it's not Grover's fault while being resentful because it's totally Grover's fucking fault.

Eventually, we get a scene where Grover attempts to make things right by putting himself into danger and Percy freaks out because, duh, he doesn't want his friends to get hurt. Grover then attempts to apologize by admitting he maybe sorta kinda subconsciously wanted to sabotage things. And it's here where we run in to trouble.

Please notice that Percy immediately tries to reassure him that he's not responsible despite Grover acknowledging it. Then we get the good ol' Grover tears and looking like a poor bullied baby before he confesses to sabotaging his best friend's quest because he doesn't want to be left behind. And with that, all of Percy's anger is gone because how can you be mad at your friend for that?

Uh, pretty fucking easy, especially if my idiot satyr friend knows exactly what the consequences of failing the quest is (forget the college letters; Percy is under the assumption that Hecate will unmake him if he fucks up) AND said idiot frequently has gone MONTHS without seeing me because of his job and, in fact, several months from now will be halfway across the country anyway helping Apollo with some different quest bullshit!!!!

I digress.

Suddenly, Percy is the bad guy for being mad at Grover. And this continues with the next part of the conversation.

How hard it's been on him?????

Percy Jackson, you are constantly blowing literal gaskets because of the stress you are under, and you're worried about how hard college applications has been on GROVER???????

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."

like

are you kidding me here rick

are you FUCKING kidding me

PERCY needs to APOLOGIZE to GROVER for PRIORITIZING COLLEGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

And then Grover makes a joke about Percy's shitty gpa because dunking on Percy in an emotional conversation is totally fine because his emotions don't actually matter to any of his friends. He'll get over it! He's Percy, duh. He's not a ticking time bomb of resentment full of grudges whatsoever.

I think we're supposed to see this as Percy maturing and being forgiving, but is he? He doesn't tell Grover he forgives him. Percy's the one apologizing in the end because he's been guilted into feeling bad that Grover is sad/upset and put himself in danger. The conflict doesn't actually get resolved because Percy brushes it aside; it doesn't matter any more because Grover is sad and must be reassured. No one's going to learn anything from this because there have been no consequences. Grover's gonna do some dumb shit again, Percy's gonna get mad at him, Grover will cry and make up a sad sack excuse, and Percy will stop being angry because Grover's his bestie and what else is he supposed to do?

(This could be a good character arc about how Percy's fatal flaw makes him have a really messed up view of friendships and the meaning of loyalty, but again, we will be denied.)

And for the record, just because your friends have compelling reasons for their shitty actions doesn't make them any less shitty. It doesn't mean they shouldn't apologize for their fuck ups or negate the hurt they caused you. Forgiveness needs to be earned, not manipulated out of you through tears and reckless actions.

Grover can get fucked. I hate this fucking character.

[qqueenofhades]

Walz was my top choice, but seeing Republicans SEETHING that she didn't pick Shapiro confirms it for me! A man who gets approval from both AOC and Manchin and seemingly singlehandedly freed Democrats from the shackles of "when they go low we go high", his experiences with education, his fairly progressive policies, and also his personal experience with IVF making the Harris/Walz ticket feel very strong on fighting for reproductive rights- what's this feeling? Is it hope?

Walz is actually incredible on abortion rights (he met Harris when she became the first sitting VP to visit a Planned Parenthood in Minneapolis in March), he's outspoken about how he and his wife only have their children because of IVF, and wow, it's nice to see Democrats actually embracing "basic bodily autonomy for women is a good thing and we're not going to back down/run away from that" as a winning message, because IT IS. Abortion rights are polling some incredibly high number in Florida (Florida!!!) and they are on the ballot there in November, along with other places. And we remember that every time they ARE on the ballot, regardless of how red the state might usually be, they win.

This is a great issue to be running on, to be able to run on so strongly, and Harris/Walz are exceptionally qualified to do it. As for the GOP seething about Shapiro, all this tells me is that they were banking on having their pre-written attack ads ready to go, their "Democrats in Disarray!" psy-ops ready to roll out, and everything else. They don't give a shit about antisemitism and they certainly don't get to talk about suddenly acting like they want anything other than white Christian-evangelistic theocracy, because they don't. So yeah, like... Shapiro is genuinely very strong in many ways and I do like him and will support him if he runs in 8 years, but this was something the GOP/the corporate media were COUNTING on to destabilize the Democratic ticket, and we took that away from them. The stakes are too high to run the risk of any more distractions, whether or not it's fair or justified or any of it. We need to pull together and become watertight if we're doing this unprecedented thing, and because the 2024 election cycle has turned out to be so short (at least in terms of the actual tickets) we cannot, CANNOT afford to be manipulated by bad actors, which in turn means making choices to give them the least opportunity to do so. Which has happened here, and... yes. I think... I think this odd feeling might just be hope, especially as I look at all the Twitter videos of thousands of people in Philly eager to get into the first Harris/Walz rally tonight. Lord love you, Philly. I remember the pure euphoria I felt as those massive batches of blue ballots rolled in in 2020, and I am very, VERY ready to do it again.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Hi! I really appreciate your nuanced and informed thoughts. Apologies if you've already answered something like this somewhere, but I'm only occasionally on Tumblr these days.

My question is what do you think about calls for academic boycotts as a means of protest? (Against Russia and Israel, most recently - curiously, I've never seen any suggestions for an academic boycott against, say, China, due to persecution of Uygurs and Tibetans. Cynically, I'm guessing this is because Chinese academia is simply too big and too financially integrated into global academic publishing profits for anyone to imagine a boycott, whereas Russian and Israeli academics are much less visible and much less profitable.)

I often sympathize with the feelings of those calling for boycotts, but it feels like it's useless at best and counterproductive at worst to cut off potential regime critics from international support, making them more dependent on keeping the regime happy for funding. I've seen some of what happens in an academic community (Hungary) that is poorly integrated with the international academic community when a repressive government start going after insufficiently nationalist research, and it's not great - entire fields of study the government doesn't like pressured out of existence, or only hanging on because of external EU funding. I have trouble seeing how essentially helping a regime stamp out dissenting voices is a good way to protest that regime. I also fear that if dissenters feel that the international community rejects them and views them as no different from the regime that they will be more likely to embrace apathy for survival.

I'm not sure how to respond to calls for academic boycott in a way that opens dialogue about these concerns, and I also recognize that I may be missing something. I'd love your thoughts on this issue if you have any!

imo academic boycotts are the political equivalent of punching parallel/down.

especially, since, as you pointed out, many academics in the boycotted nations are already dissenters. that said, i do think it's bullshit that these calls for boycotts aren't extended to china.

there's another aspect here, though, which i think was best presented in The Good Place: in a globalized economy, such simple measures as not buying that tomato or using that app or talking to that one israeli medical researcher don't have the impact we'd like to think they do. everything is soo layered and interwoven and codependent and opaque, that we can't truly know what decision we're making and what kind of impact it will truly have without expertise in international finance and tax law and supply chain ethical management.

in our world, as it exists, money and hard power are the only things which will effect change. they're the only things that matter. shitting on some russian grad student who just accessed the closed soviet archive of Khanate-era mongolian literature, or the israeli social scientist researching the intersection of public health and addiction won't do anything, except keep the West in the dark about Mongolian literature, and blocking findings valuable for public management of those struggling with addiction.

if universities and 18-22 year olds want to effect change, go for the wallet. research which defense contractors give money to which university labs/departments, target the administration of those departments, and make as big and loud of a stink as possible. i don't think the individuals calling for these boycotts want to do that though. it's dangerous and scary and requires them to actually put themselves at genuine risk. it's easier for them to just attack academics living under shitty governments, harass jewish students, and call it praxis.

but that's just my (cynical, lowkey depressed) take.

[toomuchracket]

birthday wish (d word matty x reader fluff)

it's the 6th for me already so here's the first of the matty35 birthday celebration fics, as organised by lovely @the1975attheirverybest and @abiiors!! pre-dating, very sweet, hope you enjoy <3

“for fuck's sake, matty, will you just fucking ask her?”

george is all but bashing his head off the desk in the office he and matty have unofficially claimed as their own, while the latter paces across the carpet, biting at the skin around his nails. “dunno, george. what if she says no?”

“wouldn't be the first time a hot girl's told you to do one, would it?”

“fuck off,” matty smacks his friend on the back of the head. objectively, he knows george is right - you are hot, that's merely a fact, you're gorgeous - but that doesn't mean he has to like hearing him bring it up.

whatever. it's not like matty can get mardy at him for it - he isn't your boyfriend, after all. technically, you're barely even friends; he's known you all of four weeks, and has yet to see you in a social setting. 

he really fucking wants to, though. hence, his current dilemma.

george laughs. “mate, you're only asking her to come over to mine for your birthday drinks. it's not like you're asking her out or anything.”

“no,” matty hums, eyes unfocusing on their view out the window as his brain conjures up thoughts of doing just that. it's a nice thought, admittedly not an unfamiliar one, and something he will absolutely get distracted imagining if he doesn't snap out of it now. he blinks. “i just think it'd be nice if she was there, y'know? but, at the same time, i don't want her to feel weird about me asking, cos she doesn't know us that well yet.”

“i think you're overthinking it,” comes the salient reply. “can sort-of see where you're coming from, but i reckon if you just fucking ask her like a normal person then it'll be fine.”

matty sighs. “alright. you're right. i'll ask her before the end of the day.”

“well,” george turns to him, shit-eating grin on his face. he nods towards the glass panel on the door. “she's heading towards us, so you're doing it now.”

fuck. matty peers through the window, heart softening as he watches you wander towards him - sorry, them - stack of papers in hand and your hair escaping the messy ponytail he watched you shove it into earlier. “perfect.”

he barely has time to force the panic from his face before you're knocking softly on the half-open door, poking your head around it with a sweet smile. “hi, boys. am i okay to come in with some admin? i can come back later if you're busy.”

matty opens his mouth to speak, but george beats him to it. “oh, we're not busy at all. matty was just doing my fucking head in, as per,” he laughs when matty scowls at him. “what d'you need?”

“just got some risk assessments for album events that i need you to read and sign. the fun stuff,” you awkwardly (endearingly, matty would say) put the papers on the desk, looking up at matty as you step back and shyly clasp your hands behind your back. god, you are so fucking cute. “and, for the record, i doubt what george just said about you is true, matty.”

“thank you, darling,” matty smiles, at the exact same time as george says “no, he genuinely was being a pain in the arse”; he turns to his best friend, glaring. “what, george, like you're being to me now?”

george winks at you. “worse.”

you giggle nervously, turning towards the door - matty's heart drops as you do. “well, don't let me get in the way. just get those back to me as soon as you can, please, alright?”

“wait, before you go,” george calls after you. “can we talk to you about something?”

“um, yeah?” you turn back around, pretty face panicked, and nervously cross one arm over your stomach to hold the other. “am i in trouble?”

fuck, you are so adorable. matty smiles as softly as possible - not difficult, though, when it’s you he’s smiling at. “no, no, of course not. what would you even be in trouble for, anyway? you’re perfect.”

“oh,” you smile bashfully. “thank you.”

“it’s true. anyway,” matty clears his suddenly-very-dry throat as best he can. “we were wondering… are you, um, busy on saturday?”

“the 9th?” your brow furrows as you think. “yeah, i am, actually - my friend’s moving in with his boyfriend, and i said i’d help,” the panicked expression crosses your face again. “why do you ask? is there something else on that day that i should be at?”

crestfallen, matty replies with a “no, it’s alright, not a big deal”; george cuts him off, though. “it’s not a work thing, no - we were just gonna ask if you wanted to come to the little birthday celebration we’re having for matty at mine that day-”

“but really, if you can’t make it, no hard feelings,” matty interjects, practically tripping over his words in his haste to reassure you (read: seem cool about it, and not let on that he’s disappointed). “we know it’s short notice.”

you blink a few times, biting your lip before you look directly at matty and speak. “what time would you want me?”

well, anytime, all the time, really. “oh. just after 4? it’s quite casual, not a sit-down dinner or anything. but, like i said, no pressure.”

“no, i think i could probably be there for that time!” you nod enthusiastically. “i’ll text you if anything changes, but,” you beam, and matty thinks his heart might pack in. “i’ll do my best to be there. thanks for asking, both of you.”

“of course,” george grins. “you’re our friend. why wouldn’t we ask you?”

he isn’t technically wrong, calling you that on behalf of both of them, but it still makes matty feel like he’s bitten into a lemon. a friend; how he wishes there was another word prefixing it, one only he could use to describe you.

still, you’ll hopefully be there to celebrate his birthday with him, and that sweetens everything - if you turn up, that is. “exactly. you’re top of the guestlist, darling.”

you huff out a laugh, looking at matty so affectionately he could cry. “better make a proper effort to get to the party, then,” you look at your watch. “i’m sorry, i’ve got to run to a meeting - hopefully see you at the weekend?”

“yeah,” matty nods. you’re out of the office before he can finish speaking, and his parting phrase comes out feebly as a result. “bye, darling.”

he moves to sit back at his desk, lifting one of the risk assessments and beginning to read it in silence. george peers round his laptop, gawking at his best friend. “why you being all emo?”

“i’m not.”

“yeah, you are. you’re like a black cloud,” a beat passes, then george speaks again, voice softer. “the invitation went well, at least.”

matty hums noncommittally. “s’pose.” 

“it did, matthew. she was excited. she said she’d try her best to be there. those are good things.”

“i know,” matty sighs. “i just… i hope she’ll be there. be a shame if she wasn’t.”

“i think she will.”

“well, we’ll see.”

***

“... happy birthday, dear matty, happy birthday to you!”

matty smiles at the mismatched chorus of voices, laughing when charli ruffles his hair after she sets the cake down on the coffee table in front of him. “oi, bean,” he lightly taps eilidh, sat on his lap, on the shoulder. “i know we’re a bit early to be celebrating your birthday, but will you help me blow out the candles?”

she nods excitedly, tiny ponytail bouncing. matty beams, and they gently blow out a “3” candle each, to a soundtrack of applause. ross, sat next to the two of them, reaches over to smooth his daughter’s hair. “have the cigarettes finally caught up to you, or are you just getting too old?”

matty furrows his brow. “d’you mean?”

“well, you just needed my toddler’s help to blow out your candles - stop it, i’m joking,” his friend laughs, leaning to the side to avoid matty smacking the back of his head. “did you make a wish?”

“obviously.”

“what for?”

“can’t tell you,” matty takes a sip of his wine, lifting it out of eilidh’s reach - ross lifts her onto his own lap, and she cuddles into him quite cutely. “won’t come true, otherwise.”

“fair enough,” ross shrugs. he nods to something behind matty. “g’s trying to get your attention, mate.”

“is he?” matty turns, heart rate increasing when he hears george saying your name into the phone pressed to his ear. after excusing himself from the table, he quickly follows his friend into the quiet hallway, tensing every muscle in his body to stop his leg bouncing in nervous anticipation.

the nerves fade quickly, though - george smiles as he talks, and then he says something that makes matty want to actually skip around the house. “you’re almost here? amazing, everyone’s looking forward to seeing you…”

understatement of the fucking century.

“... and yeah, i’ll make sure someone’s outside so you know where to go,” he laughs down the line, and matty’s heart melts at the thought of you endearingly asking for that. “alright, no worries. see you soon,” george ends the call, sighing dramatically before smirking at the birthday boy. “told you she’d be here.”

“yeah, yeah,” matty rolls his eyes, but he can’t keep his cheeks from lifting into a smile, no matter how hard he tries. although, to be fair, he’s not trying particularly hard. “i’ll wait for her, mate.”

“you sure? it’s your party, after all.”

“exactly - i should be there to greet the guests,” matty smirks. “and i fancy a cig, too, if i’m honest.”

george scoffs. “typical. here,” he chucks a set of house keys at matty, who manages to catch them with the very tips of his fingers. “you’d better head out now.”

“sweet.”

it’s actually a little bit chilly when matty steps outside george’s front door, but it’s a nice evening; the sun is just beginning to set, casting a golden hue over london, the birds are chirping quietly, and the whole thing is just really quite peaceful. he perches as well as he can on the front gate, lighting up a cigarette and contentedly taking a drag. by the time your uber arrives, he’s halfway finished the cig, but he barely has time to even think about stubbing it out before you’re out of the car and walking towards him. 

he waves, eyes trailing slowly up your body, lingering on your bare legs and almost popping out of his head when they take notice of the slight cleavage your sundress is showing off. not that it’s obscene, or anything, he’s just so used to seeing you all office-chic and buttoned-up. still, matty quickly shifts his focus to that beautiful face of yours, just to keep his cool.

as if he could, around you.

you beam as you near him. “hi! i’m so, so sorry i’m late,” you open your arms for a hug, and he slots into them eagerly, savouring the rose of your perfume. “had to marinate in the shower for a bit after today, i stunk.”

“well, you smell good now. and you look it, too, i love that dress,” matty replies, heart breaking ever so slightly when you pull apart. “and you’re here, that’s all that matters.”

“thanks! and i wouldn’t have missed your birthday, matty - speaking of, here,” you pull a bottle of red from your bag and hand it to him. “didn’t know what to get you, so i figured this was a safe bet.”

“you didn’t have to get me anything! thanks, though, darling,” he looks at the label, eyes widening. “shit, this is good. shall we go inside and open it?”

“oh, if you like,” you smile. “or you can save it for someone special, i'm cool either way.”

matty shrugs, smiling. “i mean, i'm looking at such a person right now.”

it's maybe a tiny bit far a statement for a platonic relationship, but you don't take it badly at all - you just smile back, quietly agree to share the wine, and follow matty when he leads you back into the house and straight into the empty kitchen.

you gasp when you see the birthday cake on the counter. “no! i missed the cake?”

“only by a few minutes,” matty stops rummaging in a drawer for the corkscrew to look round at you; his heart jolts when he sees you look genuinely sad. “really, darling, it's not a big deal.”

“i still feel bad, though. i really am sorry for not being here on time, matty.”

“hey, none of that, please,” he hands you a glass of wine and puts his arm around your shoulders, biting back a beam as you automatically melt into him. “like i said, you're here now, and that's the main thing. and it's my birthday party, so you have to listen to me.”

“alright,” you look up at him, smiling, and hold out your glass. “happy birthday, sweetheart.”

he smiles warmly at the pet name, heart aglow, and taps his glass lightly on your own. “thank you, darling. d'you think we should cut the cake?”

jesus, what a spiral that phrase could lead him into. thank god you're not wearing white today.

you nod. “where does george keep plates? i'll get them.”

“cupboard above the kettle.”

plates and knife procured, matty carefully slices into the cake, oohing and ahhing at the interior. “wow. look at the layers! they're so neat.”

“alright, paul hollywood.”

he giggles. “i love bake off.”

“so do i - oh, thank you,” you take the plate from him, and then a bite of the cake. “fuck me, that's good.”

he laughs, pushing himself to sit on the counter and taking a bite of his own slice. “christ, you were not kidding. fucking amazing.”

“isn't it?” you wash your bite down with some wine. “m'still sorry i didn't get to see you blowing out the candles, though.”

“eilidh helped me.”

you aww, perching yourself on the counter next to him. “i take it you made a wish?”

“of course.”

“good,” you rest your head on his shoulder, so casually intimate that matty thinks his legs would give way if he tried to stand right now. “d'you think it'll come true?”

he rests his head atop yours, smiling when you giggle at him. “you know what? i think it already has.”

[ckret2]

Even if you never explore or talk about it in goldilocks, what angle are you approaching past fiddauthor in the fic. Love triangle that only exist in bill head or fiddleford having a strong one sided love

I haven't fully decided yet.

Some of the fandom has a perception like fiddauthor and billford are opposed sides of a war, like if you like one of them it means you hate the other and want to see it "defeated." I don't like that attitude and I don't like that part of the fandom.

A fic in which billford happens is just a billford fic. But a fic in which billford happens and also Fidds & Ford's relationship gets explored at some point (and they don't end up together) runs the risk of being, mmm... unwillingly drafted into the army? As if it's taken a "side"?

Or like, a risk of the audience's expectations priming them to misinterpret the fic like "it's Bill vs Fidds, who will win Ford!!" And I'm not interested in that, there's no competition, Bill's relationship with Ford and Fiddleford's relationship with Ford are two completely separate things that have nothing to do with each other, one of them being removed wouldn't impact Ford's relationship with the other.

So along with the most important matters here—characterization, plot, all that good stuff—a subordinate concern I'm juggling is, how do I handle Fidd & Ford's dynamic in such a way that conveys this isn't a fic that's against fiddauthor, it's just a fic where fiddauthor isn't taking place.

As of TBOB I'm convinced that there's a high chance Fiddleford is/was in love with Ford, and Ford's romantically oblivious ass just completely didn't notice it. (And it's very funny.) But, if ever we reach a point in the fic where simultaneously Bill's in love with Ford and Fiddleford's in love with Ford and Ford develops feelings for Bill, it's gonna look like there was a competition and Fidds lost it. (This isn't helped by the fact that Bill would 100% view it like a competition and be the smuggest little shit about "winning," because he's an insecure shit who only feels like he's on top if everyone else has been knocked to the bottom.)

Along with that not being the narrative I want to tell... I also feel like Fidds doesn't deserve that, you know? Just picture it:

You're in love with a dude, you go through hell following this dude around, he inexplicably gets super hostile to you and kicks you out of his life, your life gets ruined over this mess, you later discover he turned hostile because his demonic imaginary friend was shit talking you to him and also said demonic imaginary friend was horrifically abusing the dude you love, thirty years later you're still in love with this dude, you've reconciled with him, you're friends again, he's super remorseful for taking you for granted and is demonstrating more concern for your feelings and needs than he ever has before, and—bam you find out that the dude you love has started dating the abusive demonic imaginary friend.

Can you imagine. Can you fucking imagine. God. If I were him I'd rebuild the memory gun just to make the dude the imaginary friend and me all forget we ever even met each other, fuck this shit, wow.

On the OTHER hand if I went with "hahaha we're just friendly friends who are friends and only friends neither of us ever had any feelings for each other that weren't friend feelings nope" to avoid the appearance of a competition, there's a chance it could still come across like,, "lol fiddauthor loses" just on a meta level rather than an in-fic level. Plus post TBOB I'm not sure if I'd even be able to buy that myself lmao. (Seriously, who the heck makes multiple handmade Christmas gifts for his "colleague" who doesn't even celebrate Christmas and forgets to get anything for his wife, god that kills me.)

It's still a while until I get to the chapters where we dig deep enough into the Fords' relationship that I'll have to make a decision. No matter what, I'm not gonna compromise the ✨integrity of my artistic vision✨ over concerns about potential hypothetical readers' reading comprehension; but like there's more than one way an artistic vision can be expressed, and I'd like to express it in a way that doesn't actively exacerbate the risk of people inserting a narrative I didn't write into my fic.

I want what I write to portray Fiddleford as an old, close, dear friend of Ford's—not as the loser in a love triangle.

[bandgie]

could you do another hate sex yj?? and could it have loads of banter and verbal teasing?? literally love your stuff soooo much

a/n: yes! I actually have an idea for this! and thank you sm!!

synopsis: Being part of the The Titans means putting your life at risk for Jump City. Defeating villains and putting them behind bars should be the hardest part, but it's actually your own team member that drives you insane.

notes/warnings: MDNI 18+, teen titans AU, fem!reader, reader is called 'Raven', elements of drugging, heat, dom-ish!reader, foot job (sorry), monster fucking I think? I dunno if it counts lmao, bondage (m!rec), tentacles (I had to), throat fucking (m!rec), light chocking (m!rec), PIV/no protection, creampie

2.4k words

You should have known tonight's mission wasn't going to go well. There was an ominous atmosphere as the team carried out their assignments. Being gifted with psychic abilities, you can feel the emotions of those around you. That empathic ability was both a blessing and a curse. The one time you decided to ignore it was the one time you needed to listen to it the most.

Deathstroke had anticipated the attack. He laced the area with drugs and gasses that left the five of you weak, and incapable. Your power was uncontrollable as you were filled with raw fear. The only person you had to rely on was Beastboy who was trapped in the same room as you.

That alone was a trap in itself.

Black tendrils whipped around you viciously. Your power smacked and tried to break through the walls, but they seemed impenetrable. If you were in your right mind, you could easily find a way out. 

"Fuck Raven! You're gonna get us killed!" Beastboy ducked and covered his head as your magic continued to act recklessly. You ignored him, beating at the room. The rest of the team members were most likely separated, and you'd be damned if anything happened to them.

It's now you grow tired that your legs give out from under you. You collapsed on the hard ground, your black magic quickly dissipating. Beastboy rushed to your side and cursed, "Shit. If you would have just calmed down-"

"Calm down!?" The room shook with your voice. "How the fuck can I calm down when our friends are out there and we're in here? You don't get it Yeonjun, I can feel it. They're scared, and alone. We can't sit here and-"

Yeonjun cut you off with a growl, "I never said I wanted to sit here. If you knew how to fucking control yourself we could have found a way out!" Despite trying to keep a level head, Yeonjun could feel the terror in his chest. Watching you, who's usually composed, freak out did little to help. 

"Oh fuck you! You say 'we,' but I always save our asses. You've been doing bat shit to help!" It probably isn't wise to further engage in arguing, but you don't have the patience otherwise. With the gas you both inhaled and the fear you feel, it's impossible to think rationally.

You can see the veins that pop out from under Yeonjun's green skin as he yells back. "How do you expect me to help when you're whipping those things around like a madman!? While you were going crazy I found something."

The retort dies in your throat, "Found something?"

"Yes," Yeonjun sounds exasperated. "I think we're in Deathstroke's lab. Found some potions and shit." He pulls a small vial from his pocket, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. The clear bottle swooshes with pink liquid inside, words scribbled on it.

You look at the bright color curiously, "What's it say?" He shrugs, "Beats me. I think it's his own language or whatever." Without saying more, he pops the cork off and raises it to his lips. "Bottoms up."

"Beastboy!" 

He swallows and grimaces at the taste, burping. "I said to call me Yeonjun."

"You idiot!" The fire in your chest flames once again. "Do you even know what you drank?" Rather than seeming upset, Yeonjun flashes his sharp canines at you. It's better to watch you grow furious at him than be scared. Even if you look at him with rage in your eyes, it's better than seeing the overwhelming panic.

"Nope," he pops the 'p'. "Guess we'll find out soon enough."

You scoot a few inches away from him, waiting for disaster to strike. Will he go ballistic? Maybe he'll explode. Now that you're thinking about it, that potion was awfully pink. Maybe that'll be his new skin color.

Rather than turning into a flamingo, he remains the same hue. Yeonjun's lip twitches and his pupils dilate. His heart rate increases and it suddenly feels much too hot in the room. Your empathetic power picks up on this. Even if you don't physiologically react the same, you can taste the thickness in the air. An intense sense of excitement pools in your stomach, your chest. 

You snatch the vile from Yeonjun's hands. That fucking moron, you groan internally. It wasn't Deathstroke's secret language, it was Latin.

"Eros libido," you read the scribbled words. "Fuck."

"Libido?" Yeonjun's sweaty face looks confused. "The game with the stick?"

"No, you- oh my god. That's limbo. Libido is....nothing. How do you feel?" You quickly change the subject. The potion must be strong. If Yeonjun felt it in mere seconds and you felt the effects soon after, you can only imagine how it'll progress. 

"I feel...restless? I dunno just...like I wanna do something?" He speaks unsurely. The hair on his neck raises and so does a muscle underneath his pants apron making eye contact with you. "Oh shit," his eyes go wide. "S-stop looking at me!"

Yeonjun stands up abruptly, running to the corner of the room. He knows this feeling now. The warmth in his body, the feeling of unfiltered desire, the ache in his cock. He's in heat. Yeonjun could try and play human all he wants, but he still has animal DNA in him.

His raw lust filters into you. It hits you like a ton of bricks and you feel like discarding your cloak. 

"You stupid fuck," despite being aroused, you attempt to turn it into anger. "Who drinks a potion in a language they don't know when they're trapped?" Standing to your feet, you stomp to Yeonjun who's shriveled on the ground. 

He groans your name out, "Don't get close to me please."

You ignore him, throwing your purple cape on the ground and flipping Yeonjun to his back. His eyes are full-blown wide, he's drooling helplessly, and his dick strains painfully against his pants. You scoff, pressing a foot on his erection, "You look so pathetic."

Yeonjun's entire body keens at your touch. His hands reach down and grip your ankle. He means to throw your foot off of him, but instead, he pushes your heel harder against his cock. Yeonjun whines and thuds his head down on the ground roughly. How hates how good it feels, hates that he'd beg to cum from your shoe even if it was beyond shameful. 

Rather than pulling away, you let him hump your foot. Your boots are latex, so it's easy to feel his clothed erection against you. "Fuck, you're really hard huh?" There's a sick sweetness in your voice Yeonjun's not used to. 

He nods mindlessly, "I'm sorry. Mmm fuck, I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. I thought- shit! -I thought it would make me stronger." Yeonjun pants through his sentences. His eyes are crazed, but he manages to speak through it. "I'm such an idiot. Fuck fuck fuck.." You can see tears slip from the corner of his eyes. He bites down on his lower lip to keep from being so loud. After all, how can a mere foot make him feel this good?

"Are you crying?"

Yeonjun whines at your harsh tone. "It hurts..." he speaks in a small voice. 

You tear your foot from his grasp. Yeonjun violently sobs, he is so close. He's about to beg you to let him use your foot when you kneel. He watches in shock as you button his tight pants, yanking them to free his cock.

"Oh," You're in shock. Calling Yeonjun big would be an understatement. The shaft darkens as your eyes trail to the very tip of his dark green head. It's a stark contrast from the white pre-cum that dribbles from his slit. The cold air makes Yeonjun twitch and groan, at least the confines of his pants had given him pressure. 

You don't think when your hand reaches out to grab the base. Even with two fists, the tip would peek out with a few more inches. Desire pools in your stomach. You quickly try to blame it on Yeonjun's condition. This isn't your own emotions, you're just reading his. It's strong, and it's affecting you.

That's all.

That's all, you tell yourself when you move to hover on top. That's all, you think when you move the sticky crotch of your leotard to the side. "That's all," you murmur when you grind yourself on his cock. It's warm, it twitches, it leaks. Begging to be put where your legs ache. You expect Yeonjun to start pleading, crying to let him fuck you.

He knows better though. Talking would ruin the headspace you're in. It would make it real, make it a permanent memory that Yeonjun was inside you. The same person who went out of his way to make piss you off, to watch your turn red from anger.

And you're going to let him.

It's not until you sink down on him that he squeaks. His cock stretches you out fully, forcing your walls to mold into his shape. You groan and place your hands on his torso, pushing yourself deeper and deeper. Your legs quiver and your stomach flips when you feel him kiss your cervix. You've fully seated yourself on him, letting your cunt convulse and squeeze around his length.

"Fuck!" Yeonjun can't help himself as his hands find your waist. He moans your name, over and over until he's started drooling again. "You're so tight. Fuck me, please fuck me. I can't move, I-"

Black tendrils come out of your back without you needing to think. One shoves itself inside Yeonjun's mouth, cutting his needy demands off. Another two grab his wrists and pull them away from your hips, pinning them above his head. 

You pick your hips up and slam down. There's a loud squelch from where you connect, and you can hear Yeonjun's muffled moans as the appendage forces itself down his throat. 

"Shut." You drop your weight on his dick. "Up." And you do it again. His dick drags against your soft walls, a hot sensation slowly building inside you. "You can't do shit right." Your hands reach up to wrap around his neck. You can feel how your magic moves inside his mouth. How Yeonjun's gags and drools around the dark appendage. His eyes roll to the back of his head, and there's a light flush on his cheeks from the lack of oxygen. 

"I have to do everything for you," you seethe. "Useless." Your hips move in circles, letting Yeonjun's cock explore every part of you. "Can't even fuck me. I always do all the work, and you just lie there and take it." 

Yeonjun can't disagree. It feels too good to let you use him. To force his throat open, to hold him down while he writhes in unbelievable pleasure. You're so warm, cunt terribly hot it makes him squirm. It's better than he could have possibly imagined. Your pussy perfectly fits onto his cock, it squeezes him in all the right ways that he's surprised he's lasted this long. 

You scoff at his fucked out state, somewhat jealous. Yeonjun gets to fuck up consistently, yet he still reaps all the rewards. 

"I hate you," you moan out. The warmth in your belly doubles. Your pussy has drenched his cock with cream and slick. It makes it easy to slide in and out, to fuck yourself on him without worrying if Yeonjun will split you open. 

Yeonjun frantically shakes his head, trying to free himself of your magic. You slow your hips and oblige, your back magic pulling away from his mouth. 

His lips are swollen, red, and wet. He coughs and gasps for air. "Again," he chokes out. "Tell me you hate me again."

"I can't stand you," your grip tightens around his neck. "I hate that you mess everything up. I hate that you bother me." Your hips have a mind of their own. Bouncing and dragging themselves along his length. "I hate your voice. I hate how you look at me." You curse when his hips buck him uncontrollably. He starts meeting your thrusts, clear that he'll finish soon. 

Yeonjun only moans at your horrible confessions. His wet eyes look up at yours almost endearingly. "I hate you too," he moans out. "I hate how mean you are to everyone. I hate- ahhh shit, I hate that I can't stop thinking about you. I hate that I dream about you. I hate your skin, I hate your eyes." 

You moan at his cruel words. Your body leans down on top of his, lower body moving with intent. Your hands steady themselves on his green chest, squeezing and pinching the skin there. 

"I fucking hate everything about you."

Then you cum. Waves and pleasure and hot spurts flooding your pussy and his cock. You rock against him until you feel his cock twitch. Yeonjun's arms have gone numb from their positions, but he tugs against the restraints nonetheless. He wants to squeeze to plump flesh of your ass, he wants to leave your body with marks. He wants to remember, wants you to remember how you let him have you. 

His cum pours inside you, moaning and thrusting animalistically in your ear. Yeonjun snarls when your walls tighten around his girth again, milking his cock for all it has to give. He fucks up into you lazily, trying to ride out his high.

The overwhelming pleasure tugs at your stomach and sends your body on overdrive as multiple black points sprout from your body. They stab at the ground below you, the walls beside you. Yeonjun would have been terrified had he not just orgasmed. Instead, he smiles at your violent response, looking at the damage to the room.

A ray of pale light pokes through the roof where your magic has pierced it. He squints at the hole, making sure it doesn't disappear. Yeonjun shouts in excitement. You jump at the noise. Yeonjun nods in the direction and you follow his line of sight. Sure enough, you see the same beam of moonlight shining down. You look back at him, a mere breath away, 

You smile.

The sight makes Yeonjun shiver, his limp cock twitches inside you. He quickly replaces his look of awe with false confidence, flashing his sharp teeth. "Told you that potion would help."

a/n: this actually took me so long to write. no idea where I was goin with it. I had a lot of different plot ideas, but I decided to do this one. please tell me how you liked it! it's defo new to me lmao in case you're wondering! this is how I planned on doing the characters: robin- Taehyun starfire - Kai cyborg - soobin beastboy - yeonjun raven - reader deathstroke - beomgyu

[justatalkingface]

The 'Great' MHA Read Along, Part Five (Chapters 22-44): The Mandatory Exploitive Tournament Arc

Been awhile, huh? Let's see if I can still pull this off. I'm warning you, this is probably going to have a bit of heft to it.

We start off people trying (and failing) to investigate Shigarki and the Villains and, first off, a couple of things. The whole, 'Quirk Registry' shit? Very X-Men. I'm... kinda mixed feelings on it. It makes sense for a government to try and keep track of this kind of shit, but at the same time it feels like a whole lot, you know? That said... the way the guy in the suit phrased it makes it seem like they only searched for 'Shigaraki/Disintegration' and 'Kurogiri/OP warping' pairings, which seems... dumb. Like, really dumb.

Are they.... are they not going to search for anyone with a similar Quirk? Because it sounds like there are other people with similar Quirks, so... what about them? Oh, this pale haired guy who mutters a lot about how horrible heroes are isn't named Shigaraki, so clearly this isn't the guy? Do some ground work or something, man, bloody hell.

*spits out drink*

Even All-Might thinks Shigaraki is a man-child, lol. Brutal. That said... Vlad goes, 'You mean he's just like a kid with a 'power' or something?!'

And I. My dude. You're just some guy with a power. It feels like some depersonalization of the 'villains' because, yeah, everyone in this story is, in fact, just some rando human, 99.9% of the time with super powers. I don't know, it just feels like that's this really concerning perspective for someone in authority to have.

'I keep forgetting this is an actual school!'

That. That's... actually really concerning? Everyone, literally everyone, from Aizawa, to the students, to the actual author, can't seem to figure out if UA is some military academy meant to pump out child soldiers, or an actual high school meant to prepare children to go into society. And not to belabor the point here, one I've talking about on and off again for awhile, but that's fucked up.

I can't help but get the impression that UA (and presumably every other hero academy) is some military complex, setting up the students to live a life where the only way they know how to live is through violence and trying to be famous, but it's just... pretending to have standards, pretending to care for the kids as anything more than the next generation of... idol-police, or something. The way every school related thing is so out of place, the way their grades are so unimportant... it's very telling.

And like. It's not a bad thing, per say. Morally bad, sure, but from a story telling perspective? For a story like this, the way the heroic's school is morally dubious is actually a really good plot point to work off of. But... that's the problem. It never happens.

If the setting was fucked up enough, it'd be understandable if it wasn't explored, but it's not. I feel like there's some fertile ground to talk about... how heroes don't know how to handle living normal lives. How to cook, clean, do taxes, hIstory (which is, of course, very loaded sort of topic in a more dystopian kind of a set up) and so on. There's no way they have the time and energy to do all the thing a normal kid should do at their age, and as they grow up, and get these dangerous, fucked up jobs? There has to be consequences to that.

And the next line later, they bring up, you know, a bunch of terrorists just attacked the school. Which is, in fact, a serious fucking concern! What does Aizawa say?

'No no, we're only doing because we're so sure we have this shit locked down.'

Spoiler alert: They did not, in fact, have this shit locked down. In the least.

My god, this is so fucked up. It's pretty clear that the fact this is still happening is because UA, and heroics as a whole, honestly, is doing a show of force to try and make all the bad things go away. In all honesty, they're putting these kids lives at risk; the only reason nothing went wrong isn't because 'the school had all its ducks in a row when it comes to crisis control' or what the fuck ever, but because AFO didn't want to do anything. And you know why he doesn't interfere?

Because it's so damn useful for him that they flat out broadcast the details of the students and what their Quirks are!

And don't even get me started on this 'Olympics have fallen out of favor' bullshit. It's a world wide event, and it doesn't matter if the population has... shrunk (? That's what my translation says, anyways. Is this honestly saying that so many people died that the Olympics no longer holds any attraction? I mean.. what? What the fuck? What happened???? Why in the hell is this getting brushed over?! Or is that just a bad translation, and if so what is he saying is the reason the Olympics no longer have any appeal?) or whatever, because that's just... bullshit. That's just bullshit. If super powers happen, and they get at all stabilized and regulated like they are in here, all that's going to happen is that the powers are going to be part of the Olympics, and a lower population count really isn't going to change the fundamental reasons why it's popular in the first place.

Speedster racing, various forms of competitive flying (racing (in all its variations), acrobatics, mid-air dancing, synchronized flying.... flight along has dozens of potential new Olympics sports, easy), something like shot-put hurling but with some kind of projectiles, fire, lasers, whatever? Oh yeah, the Olympics are going to be just fine.

So please, Hori, spare me your obsessive need to make heroics the most important thing EVAH all of the time.

But, wait, there's more! It's not just, the new super Olympics, oh no, this is for their careers. In high school. This is, apparenlty, a make or break moment for the rest of their lives (again, with however that undefined heroics ranking and what not works). How old are they? What, fifteen? 'Here, go do bloodsports, and if you fuck up, you're going to be a menial, loser fry-cook of a wannabe police officer, dressed in brightly colored spandex for the rest of your life, barely making any money, and never getting any real respect or validation for putting your life at risk'.

Oh, I have opinions on the Sports Festival, believe me, I have a lot of opinions, but I'd like to save at least some of these more for when the actual Sports Festival starts, and not, like, five pages into the first chapter out of what, twenty two? We've got the time.

Uraraka! You're an actual character! My, this is nostalgic. I always loved the contrast between her hyper cute-zied design of her and the fact she's down to beat the living shit out of someone at the drop of a hat, and it's nice to have that again.

(Also, she's showing more ability to inspire the class here than Bakugou has shown literally the entire series, no matter how much Hori goes on about his 'charisma' or whatever.)

And then we get into her "impure" motivations to be a hero, (which I've also talked about on occasion), and it's very humanizing, both for Uraraka as a character, and the industry as a whole. It's one of those great set ups Hori ended up dropping on world building, which sucks because it'd be so interesting if he got into the nuts and bolts of the world a bit. I'm not saying we need to see the tax code or anything, but for a series that's about corruption and what not, some more detail would really help pull all of this together.

Ah, Dumb Might. I didn't miss you, except I kind of did because Dumb Might is still better than Useless-Side-Character Might.

Also, can I talk about how stupid it is that Dumb Might is burning his less than an hour's worth of time 'teaching' students again? Because holy fuck that's such a waste it's honestly criminal.

And what the hell is this switch in motivations, here? All Might never mentioned, you know, replacing him is the Symbol of Peace before now. Before this point, the whole reason he chose Izuku is that he'd be worthy user of his power, not, what, replacing him. If Izuku never gained any real fame, but still managed to save a lot of people? Before-this-point All Might would have been fine with that. More than that, he would have been proud of it, proud his successor was humble and chose to focus on doing good rather than fame. Hell, not too long ago it was pointing out by All Might that Izuku wouldn't want to use All Might's fame to benefit himself, to go slow and steady and earn his success rather than relying on fame.

Where the fuck did this come from? What the fuck kind of pressure is he trying to put on this kid?

And then right after that, we see flashes of who All Might used to be with the whole 'don't forget how you felt at the seaside park, that day', bit. Because, like, that's good. That's great! It's real, and deep, and gritty, and I'd love it if it wasn't being use with this set up, because those expectations work in other shonens, but they don't work here. Izuku can't do what All Might did, because he can't stop damn hurting himself. Going Plus Ultra, here, now, for this? It could cause real, serious harm to him for the rest of his life! And for what? To make a good impression?

And if something would call him on that, it could still work, because All Might is canonly shit at taking care of himself, that could, like, close the circle for all of this, bring it together with the two them as shit at at self care as a place to build them improving off of, but for whatever reason, Hori never went all the way on that because he was too damn afraid to commit to it, commit to a story, commit to a theme, commit to a moral.

...Holy shit, how many pages is this? We haven't even gotten to actual Sports Festival yet in the post about the damn Sports Festival.

And now we have this creepy, kind of morbid mob of people filling the hallway to stare at Class 1-A for.... being attacked by terrorists.

*what the fuck.jpeg*

What is wrong with you people?! What the actual hell is wrong with you???

And then Shinso rolls up:

"Wow. Look at these arrogant assholes, so excited about not getting killed. I'm going to declare war on them, because they deserve it for getting all high and mighty."

...

You know, I completely forgot about the epic story of, 'Shinso Hitoshi and his Completely Unmerited Persecution Complex'. I'm sad that I remember that now.

Bakugou: "People's opinions don't matter once your at the top."

Me: *looks at how much people's opinions matter to getting to the top, and staying there*

Me: ...Uh.

Thank you, Kaminari, for pointing out his edgy bullshit is, in fact, actually bullshit, and is only going to make his life more difficult for no reason. I like you as an actual person who does things other than cheerlead for Bakugou.

Izuku. Izuku no, Izuku...! Damn it. Bad Izuku. Bad! Stop getting inspired by the festering waste spewing out of Bakugou's mouth!

Cue all of two panels of the media being absolute assholes only out to make ratings with no redeeming features.

And... here's the actual Sports Festival, god knows how long into this post later!

(if you believe the text editor I just posted all of this into? Well into four pages. ...Even with my generous use of spacing, I think I have a problem.)

..Wait. Wait. Where the hell is this happening?

*does five seconds of research on the wiki*

I'm right. They have a stadium for this. Like, a giant ass sports stadium that exists for this. Only for this. That is used once a year.

At this point, I'm honestly wondering why UA isn't just it's own city. Like, Izuku should have moved here, along with the rest of the students, and all the families and various staff needed to run this just.... live on site. It's not like it'd cost them anything, since they apparently have spare cities sitting around for the kids to trash.

That's... that's actually a really interesting idea? Because it'd be a hero run city, then, which feels like it'd work well into the over commercialized, corrupted state heroics is supposed to be like, their overwhelming level of influence. I don't think that's what Hori was going for, to be clear, I think he has no idea just how much space he's causally put on UA's campus and didn't think through the implications... at all.

Ooh, and here comes Todoroki's characterization.

And... here comes the bloodsport, because that's what all of this is: bloodsport. They're throwing a bunch of teenagers onto this stage, broadcast them to the entire country, and have them fight against each other for fame. This society is so fucked up.

Random Gen Ed kid: Yeah, he placed first in the Heroics Entance Exam.

...Yeah. As fucking stupid as it is that Bakugou somehow placed first, it does make sense the person who place first in the Heroics Entrance Exam would be class representative in a school for heroics. Damn, you're salty, kid, but you're also kinda dumb, not going to lie.

Bakugou: *opens his mouth on live TV*

Bakugou: *vomits diarrhea for the entire country to see*

Izuku: ...Wow, Bakugou's so cool! He's grown up and mature now!

...Izuku. Izuku, buddy, please, stop doing this to yourself.

As yet another thing I've mentioned before, a lot of our views on Bakugou comes from Izuku. Izuku who has, from chapter one, all but worshipped Bakugou. Even when he does things wrong, even when he's actively fighting against him, Izuku can't stop himself from going on and on about how great Bakugou is, how cool and tough and determined he is. Izuku's hero worship of his abuser is sheltering Bakugou's actions from the readers, papering over all of his worst traits with a a transparent facade that he's this glorious figure. It's the narrative going the extra mile to cover his arrogant ass, to make him seem like a rival instead of an bully, someone worthy of respect rather than contempt.

Hmm. I don't want to go too much into the nuts and bolts of the event, I think, since I've done that before, so let's try something else: How Many Times Could This Kill A Literal Child? Where I, you guessed it, count how many times a teenager could have been killed, on national television, in this event.

Count one: The start of the race itself, where... *counts how many kids are in 1-A, multiplies by eleven*... two hundred and twenty kids run forward at the same time, trying to force themselves through the same opening. This shit is why it's illegal to shout fire in a theater, because a stampede like this could get someone trampled to death, or maybe crushed by the sheer weight of the crowd (which is something that happens, someone getting killed by the a crowd of unruly people just... squeezing them on accident).

*stares at Shinso being carried around like a wannabe king instead of using his own damn legs judgingly*

Count Two: Mineta gets bitched slapped by a robotic arm bigger than he is. I don't think I have to get into how that could be fatal.

Count Three: The army of Zero Pointers who could easily step on someone.

*Momo wondering about how UA can fund this makes me feel very validated, BTW*

Count Four: Todoroki dumping the Zero Pointer on the rest of the competition to block the way, again for obvious reasons. He obviously doesn't meant to, but this kid isn't even looking back. This is both lamp shaded and then dismissed because it happens to the only two people who could shrug that off, but holy shit that could have killed so many of them.

...The cameras are robots. The cameras are robots with AIs that are cheering on the other robots. I- I can't- what?!?

And then everyone can't stop themselves from praising Bakugou for the radical idea of going over a problem instead of blasting through it. Wow, Bakugou. Amazing. Such brains, such smarts.

Count Five: The Fall. Because there's no way that anyone could get themselves killed by. You know. Falling. If I was more generous, I'd say something like, 'There's probably something down there to catch them if they fall', but I'm not terribly impressed by UA's ability to actually keep these kids safe, so that doesn't make me think they'd have thought that through that much.

Grudgingly, I'm going to give a landmines a pass, because they're explicitly supposed to be non-lethal, and them blowing up didn't do any real damage. Burns, maybe, possibly a broken limb, probably some scars, but this count is about people dying. Izuku's pile could have been, maybe, but that's a level of deliberate action on his part big enough that I can't really blame UA, per say.

Eraserhead, on how 1-A has improved: I didn't do anything.

...Well. At least he's honest.

One other thing: I've said before how bullshit All Might telling Izuku to 'fight to win' was, and right here, here's the proof: All Might explicitly going, "I was afraid you'd be too nice to try and beat other people in competitions, but you proved me wrong! I'm so proud!". You know, fighting to win. Like he later says Izuku doesn't for some mysterious reason *cough*, to make him seem at the same level as Bakugou, *cough*. Poor, poor All Might, yet another victim of Bakugou's narrative warping favoritism.

And here we see the management kids going all out in how to sell Izuku and his brand, which is so very fucked up, for them and the people they're 'selling'. I'm aware this is something that celebrities go through, (which is fucked up for them as well, don't get me wrong; I'm an equal opportunity 'this is fucked up' call out-er), but these kids are in high school. The fact that they're doing this, and getting this done to them, in such numbers, in such an early age... yeah. There's no way this could give them lots and lots of long term stress and psychological problems, right?

Meanwhile, as we get to the offical rankings, I think it's time go back over the 'How Many Times Could This Kill A Literal Child?' count... at five. Five times they could have been killed on complete accident.

That is not a good score.

I'm stopping it here because the other events don't have the same problem, but instead of a whole new problem of delibrately pitting them against each other. On live TV. With minimal supervison. Cementoss popping in at the last second in Izuku vs Todoroki, considering how badly Izuku got hurt in the process, does not fill me with a great sense of these fights being well monitored.

*gets an omake chapter*

*Bakugou gets called Izuku's childhood 'friend'. Bitch, please.*

So. Here's a new point: the million point bullshit is... well. Bullshit. It's the snitch in Quiddich all over again, giving the hero something both super import, with an extra layer of difficulty, to drive up the stress and stakes, only kicked up by a million. Making more than the others makes sense, and making it enough to pass by itself is still pretty reasonable, but making it so excessively much has no point other making Izuku feel isolated from his peers and hunted by his classmates.

Also, Mt Lady going on about how 'great' an exercise the second round is is missing the point that this is literally a thing Japanese kids do in school. Literally, this is a game they're playing with Quirks, not some tactical exercise; it's like saying that playing hide and seek makes you great at hunting people down or something. Again, Hori, dial back your constant need to tell us how great the Sports Festival is. Because it isn't. It really, really isn't.

More doses of everything drooling over how great Bakugou is, and how much of a total shit of a human being he is, joy. Mineta and Shouji's teamup is actually pretty damn brilliant, even though it's tainted by how much of a one-dimensional character Mineta is. Iida is getting shown as Izuku's enemy, but honestly it looks more like he's just trying to improve himself more than anything, while acknowledging how competent Izuku is. Not just that he won the first round, or has a lot points but that Izuku, as a person, is the goal he wants to surpass; there's some good shit there, and pretty validating, if Izuku could allow himself to accept it.

Oh Mei! Mei... actually, I have a post I need to do about the Mei and Izuku dynamic at some point, how they're so designed to work together, but yeah she's fun.

And then Uraraka thinks about how strategic Izuku is being and again, I can't help but contrast this with how things happen later on; even if Izuku never lets himself really feel the respect people have for him, people at this point in time really, honestly seem to respect him, not for his Quirk, but for his brain, his determination, his heroism; it's so well setup for Izuku to stand on his own two feet without OFA and it's some really good stuff. It's a shame Hori gets rid of it.

Hmm. Class B. Class B is... interesting. They're set up as rivals but after this it never goes anywhere, and just leaves us with a bad impression of Monoma, without letting him get a good chance to get past it. I don't like him, honestly, his personality grates at me and he needs to get over himself, but he doesn't deserve the hate he gets from the fandom.

That said, though, the Class A vs Class B victory philosphy is honestly just another example of destroying yourself vs having realistic limits, how All Might and Izuku keep destroying themselves vs everyone else not doing that. The fact Class B is actually thinking ahead is smart, but the series doesn't give them that credit because it's not ambitious enough... even though that runs straight into conflicting with Izuku and his issues.

Hori, fucking commit already. In all honesty, it feels like 1-B should have won over Bakugou and knocked him out of the compition; they planned it out, and played him like a sucker, because he's a bullheaded moron. It's all right there, but right as they win... Eraserhead shows up in the booth and says, 'Yes, you've won, but actually no, because Bakugou need to win anyways. So he is. Because REASONS!' Then All Might gets dragged into that same bullshit just to make it really clear that no, Bakugou is right. Planning? Strategy? That's for losers. Real winners just need to want it hard enough, and no one wants things more than Bakugou!

It would have been better, as a story, and for everyone's character development, if that had happened. Bakugou would have lost to some 'nobodies', Izuku would have gone past him without even validating him with a fight, and Class B and Monoma would have gotten a better chance to show themselves as characters; win win win.

And then Endeavour shows up. Fuck Endeavour. Also that is a man who looks like a serial killer. Dumb Might continues to reign and be completely unable to recognize when someone hates him when he monologues about it right in front of him.

Meanwhile, Bakugou is just... there. For some reason. Why? Why does he need to be there for this? It makes his hissy fit later even worse when you realize he knows why Todoroki doesn't use his fire, and it has literally nothing to do with him. Ignoring him, though, Todoroki and Izuku's moment here is some good stuff, a nice setup for a healthy rivalry based on mutual respect, rather than the toxic mess he has with Bakugou.

Ugh. That cheerleader bullshit. Honestly, it says a lot that they can be told that, 'Aizawa says you need to dress up as cheerleaders', and apparently no one questions this, because of course Aizawa would pull some kind of weird bullshit on them with absolutely no warning at what anyone else would think is the worst possible time.

Midnight being really creepy about how she talks to teenagers, of course, and now... Shinso.

'Consent is for losers' Shinso. 'Everyone is coasting on their Quirks except for me, who only knows how to use my Quirk' Shinso. 'Let me use my Quirk on someone before we even get in the arena so I can blatantly cheat' Shinso. 'No one else has dreams or ambitions' Shinso.

I don't like Shinso. I like the idea of Shinso, sure, but that idea is another one of those paper thing veneers Hori likes to put on his characters, without doing the work to make that match the reality; the only hardship we've seen him go through is his apparent inability to work hard. Like, everyone loves Shinso, in story and out, they can't stop themselves from telling him how great his Quirk is. And you know what? It is. It is a great Quirk.

But Shinso talks like he's had a such a hard time with it, even though he seems to love it, love using it, and the way he acts, like he knows he can go through a career as a hero based only on that Quirk. He's wrong, since he's so out of shape he can't even run, apparently, but he's operating off that assumption at this point, which conflicts with his poor little martyr act.

I want you to look at the iceberg Todoroki makes, and compare it to his efforts against Stain. If he did that against him? That fight would have been over the minute he showed up, and Todoroki ambushed him. This is pretty much our last moments of Todoroki, certified badass, before the nerfs roll in. Savor it, Todoroki fans, because he'll never recover from having to lose against Bakugou.

Another omake, which seems like foreshadowing about Hori deals with women characters: bringing up a good characterization, or valid idea (do women heroes need sexiness to do their jobs?), before throwing it away to fall for the same tropes that he was making a stand against just a minute ago (women getting in a cat fight, which apparently gets really explicit, all of this on a TV before Mineta, Hori's avatar of his own horniness).

Then, as if to prove my point, we get Bakugou vs Uraraka where, like Class B before her, she does everything right, gets the win... and then gets it taken away at the last minute by idiotic bullshit pulled out of nowhere (since when could Bakugou make a blast like that? Why does he need those bomb gauntlets if he can do that?) because Bakugou isn't allowed to lose. And then Eraserhead, Hori's mouthpiece, shouts down the crowd, and us, when we think bad thoughts about it because that isn't allowed either; we need to love Bakugou.

Bakugou respects women! ...Just as much as he respects everyone else. That is to say, he doesn't. Hell, he doesn't respect her enough to think Uraraka planned her own fight! He just gets one line for one second that makes it seem like he respects her, but of course once that moments gone it's back to the normal level of complete disrespect. That's totally character growth right there, one second of acting different before returning right back to standard behavior.

So... Izuku vs Todoroki. I like the fight, it's very dramatic, very cool, but... stop to think about it a second, and about a minute in, Izuku's entire ass hand is broken. That is not OK. Why are they letting it go on? It's simultaneously a great fight, but a seemingly awkward implementation of Izuku having a Quirk, because so much of this arc is built off of him not using a Quirk, not having it. This fight only works with it, though. And it's cool, don't get me wrong, but it's shallow at the same time because of the Quirk, because Izuku has to go Plus Ultra, has to go past his limits. Instead of accepting a more reasonable win, he has to win, period, and he doesn't have the power for that.

There's this awkward conflict here between the story's various narratives, between Izuku needing to suffer, and struggle, and break himself, and his more grounded planning and actions, and you can see Hori's old, better planned out ideas getting replaced with newer, less thought out ones. It's honestly kind of a theme for this arc in it's own right.

Flaws aside, though, the fight is gripping, and it's a great setup for Todoroki, a great starting point in making him an important character, in giving him growth. Shame Hori ends up throwing all that away literally the next fight.

Well, before that happens, let's talk the one two punch of, 1, Izuku having done himself permanent, life long damage, which nobody thought to stop, and 2, the sheer, unmitigated clusterfuck of Recovery Girl going, 'I'm not going to treat wounds like these'.

So. If Izuku breaks anything... well. She's not going to treat that. I guess he has to walk around with a broken finger/hand/arm, without any medical attention whatsoever? Well. I certainly don't see any problems with that.

Then we get Bakugou, who canonly has problems using his Quirk for extended periods of time, outlasting someone by using his Quirk for extended periods of time, before going on to fight someone who uses cold, his canon weakness, and ignoring how it should completely neutralize his Quirk to overpower it, through what I can only call his sheer, narrative warping concentration of favoritism.

On what happens after he wins... I've seen people say that he doesn't mean to attack Todoroki, just try to wake him up, but looking at that scene: he's holding Todoroki's body up with one hand as if to shake him, sure, but it's the other hand that's the problem. The way he's holding it is, for his Quirk, an offensive pose, making it ready to attack his target. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt (against my own opinion) and say it's not proof positive that he was about to attack, but there's no getting around that Bakugou had himself perfectly set up to hit Todoroki, full blast, while he was unconscious. Even if it's the more innocent explanation, that feels like something that should have disqualified him because... that's really concerning. That feels a step away from him threatening victims he thinks should have stood up for themselves or something; it's not heroic, in the slightest. The fact they had to knock him out, presumably for Todoroki's own safety, says enough about how bad that is.

The fact that the ending comment is basiclly lamenting from his perspective, that this 'isn't what he wanted' is... certainly a choice. He won, but, gasp! The person with long held issues in using his full power that long predate him didn't use his full power! The poor baby!

Then we get to the award ceremony where they... chain him up? Why!? If the doesn't want the damn award, don't give it to him; they let those guys earlier give up when they felt they didn't deserve it, why is Bakugou different? It feels like it's Hori tying him up here, against Bakugou's own will, and characterization, to give him that win just so he can win, but also to forcefully set up Bakugou's own importance with the League later. It's ham handed. It's probably child abuse. It's stupid.

It's fucked up all the way down, is what I'm saying.

Then All Might shows up, and fucks up his entrance timing because he's not allowed to win anymore, of course, and then forces that medal on Bakugou.

Uuuugh.

Last couple of panels, though, are pretty nice: we build up Uraraka's character, get the next arc set up, set up Izuku (fucking finally) getting away to use his own damn power, and develop Todoroki a bit.

A nice little cherry on top of the shit sundae.

[my-brain-soup]

I've Never Seen Luka, But Jon Kent Has

Basically I've never watched Luka but I read a fanfic where Jon gets the teen titans to watch it (parallels are drawn between Luca and Alberto and Jon and Damian) so now I will be watching it and writing the thoughts I have during it

No I will not give context and spoiler warning ig

Love the music during the studio logos

We love a superstitious king, I mean, I have a feeling he has a point

IF THEY HIT HIM IMMA BE SO PISSED

Awww, he's such a polite little guy

Luca is a farm boy!!! I love my little Jon Kent varient :)

I, too, would risk my life for shiny object

I, too, do the murder

OMG THEIR SO JON AND DAMIAN BUT LIKE BEING HUMAN IS BEING A VIGILANTE AND ITS THE SAME AS THEIR START BASICALLY I LOVE THEM

HE EVEN HAS THE SUPERMAN CURL

Dami would say he invented walking

And pretend he's not proud of Jon

THEYRE SO CUTESY

Bruno? Or Bruce...o... you get the idea

Sorry, they have Luca grab Alberto like that and expect me not to see them as the most adorable little guy love story? Their so crushing on each other

"You're so lucky your dad lets you do what you want," cue Superman's comment about Bruce getting hit on the head all the time

NO WAY THEIR SENDING HIM TO (basically) BOARDING SCHOOL TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE "bad influence" THAT IS ALBERTO

Yes! Grandma, my queen!

"We can do anything" I love this movie

MY FRIEND SMELLS AMAZING

God I don't know her name yet but I love her

JULIA OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT

We're not telling you our secrets! Tells secrets immediately.

FROM EVERYTHING YOU LOVE?????

I love Alberto so muchhhhhh

I love Mr dad human

Oh they know SOO many fish

No way everyone, including an adult, just saw that bitch rob some kids and didn't do shit

He is a sad little catfish

Why are his parents actually crazy

Aww, Alberto doesn't want to lose his friend

Noooooooo

Luca just wants to learn, and Alberto just wants to feel loved :(

How is the gayest looking dude there being homophobic?

When your new father figue wants to kill your entire species

Alberto got mad when Julia touched Luca's hand...

Why does Luca's hair looks like a croissant

NO LUCA WTF

I WAS ALMOST ON YOUR SIDE

GOD WHAT THE HELL

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT KILL YOUR NEW SON

FUCK.

IM NOT CRYING.

Nooooo

Their fort :(

BESTIE NO

NO ALBERTO MY BABY NO

STOP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY SO YOU DONT GET HURT. IT'S NOT GONNA WORK

God the organizer adult lady us such a bitch

Why is no one concerned that the scuba kid isn't coming up for air?

Aww, his little clap self tap in

It's totally about to rain

Well shit. Sometimes I hate when I'm right

WAIT WAS THAT ALBERTO

I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE WHEN IM RIGHT

FUCK

NO I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN

I love them so much!!!!

MR DAD HUMAN NO

MR DAD HUMAN YES

YAYYYY

KING

Is the mom the same person that voiced Aunt Cass in big hero 6?

YES LOVE ME THE OLD LADIES

I decided it is a metaphor for older lgbtq people, feeling able to come out after younger generations have proved that times have changed, I love them

(They're sisters, so they're not together, but they can still be gay!)

BRO ITS SO ABOUT BEING GAY I LOVE THIS MOVIE

BRO ALBERTO

THOSE LITTLE LOOKS

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE

JULIA 100% KNOWS

About his crush, not just Luca going to school

AHHHH HES SO SWEET

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, YOU NEED EACH OTHER

Their in love, your honor

THEIR LITTLE HAND HOLDING THING I CANT

IM SO MENTALLY ILL FOR GAY FISH

IM CRYING AGAIN

AHHH, THEY RIGHT EACH OTHER LETTERS

ALBERTO LOOKS SO SMITTEN WHEN THEY'RE ON THE PHONE

ALBERTO GETS HIS KNIFE

DOES HE BECOME A LIFEGAURD???

I love this movie

So much

DAMIAN ALSO HAS A CAT AND JON ALSO HAS A DOG

Also, here is my formal apology, her name is spelled Giulia, my b

Alberto learns to carve wood, awww

Also, does Luca EVER get shoes?

I've decided I need an Alberto to become a tattoo artist future au, at least like on the side or for fun or sm

The dedication is adorable

Yes, I just watched all of the credits. What about it?

I was rewarded with an after credits scene, so fuck you.

I'm gonna watch all the deleted scenes now, I'm not gonna specify which one so have fun guessing

Haha, they called Alberto and Luca the main relationship

BOO STOP TRYING TO GIVE LUCA A CRUSH ON GIULIA

YES ALBERTO CHEER ON THE KRAKEN AGAINST THE HUNTER

YES! CONFORMED LUCA A GIULIA ONLY PLATONIC

Also, she was almost a photographer, like TIM DRAKE?!?!?

Don't worry, Luca, I'll ride in a barrel lit on fire down a hill with you

Awww, they were raised by a lobsterrr

BRING BACK CANNED SEA MONSTER FACTORY

OH SEA MONSTER CAN PASS BUT IF THEIR FOUND OUT THE CONSEQUENCES MIGHT BE REALKY DIRE??? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME.

Oh, Jon is extremely charming

I love how they used different animation styles (in how they had the characters move) on land and in the water

PH THE TRANSFORMATION ISN'T CELEBRATED IN LUCAS FAMILY AND HE MAKES IT A CONSIOUS DEASITION TO CHANGE HIS THINKING FROM I SHOULDNT DO THIS TO I SHOULD EMBRASE THIS? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME

Bro, not the first version where Alberto outs Luca to Giulia, eek

And finally, Ciao Alberto!

Aww, Luca wants to see to Portorosso!

THE GAY OLD LADY SISTERS ARE DEFINITELY CLOSE WITH ALBERTO, AND I LOVE IT FOR ALL OF THEM

He finally has people who care about him!!!

AWW ALBERTO JUST WANTS MR DAD HUMAN TO BE PROUD OF HIM

Alberto, you do NOT got this

DONT LIGHT THE BOAT ON FIRE

OH SHIT

Noooo!!! Don't leave!!!

YOU'RE NOT HIS EMPLOYEE, YOU'RE HIS SON

HE CALLED HIM DAD!!!

YAY HUGS

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

MY HEART

I CANT

I love Alberto being an artist (a bad one, for now, but still and artist)

Okay, that's it, Ciao :)

[privatehousesanatomy]

hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.

that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.

i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.

let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.

chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.

another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?

while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.

and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.

idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E07

Honestly, I do not have much to say about this episode (I think... it's still possible for my thoughts to spiral out of control as I start writing them out). There was barely any Greens content, which made me a little bored, I have to say. The thing is that they are kind of dragging their feet here. I get the feeling they're trying to get as many seasons as possible out of a single book but, like, maybe you could have explored the events of season 1 in two seasons then? We literally sprinted through more than 20 years in one season and now things are moving quite slowly. Anyway, more details under the cut:

Does Addam realize he could have just taken Seasmoke and fucked off to do whatever he wants? What was Rhaenyra going to do? Fight him and risk her life or at least losing Syrax to someone that isn't even her enemy in the war? Sure, he doesn't know Valyrian but Seasmoke didn't really seam to give much of a shit about that anyway. What I'm saying is basically that Rhaenyra is so lucky that Addam's ambitions of earning recognition only go so far because Seasmoke definitely would have fought Syrax tooth and nail to protect Addam if he had decided not to bend the knee.

Meanwhile Corlys during this whole episode:

His interaction with Addam was so awkward! Well, gee, thanks, dad, for the praise! Are we going to see him actually do anything as Hand?

Jasper trying to talk Larys into breaking the news of Rhaenyra's new dragon rider to Aemond was so funny. You can clearly hear him thinking "Well, he already hates Larys. Why should I draw his ire? Honestly, Larys should just take one for the team and tell him the news, which will 100% set him off!" Larys refusing to be the scapegoat by going "Tis' but a fable." The Larys content is popping off these last few episodes! I have to say that it's funny how ineffective Aemond has made his own Council by being so harsh and completely unwilling to listen to any of them. If he hadn't made it so clear he doesn't give a shit about their opinions and would trample them down for daring to say anything, they might have warned him earlier and they could have prevented Rhaenyra from getting more dragons. Not like she didn't have to outsource bastards from King's Landing. Had Aemond known about any of this, he could have intervened in some way but he brought this on himself.

I see we're not going to address the Rhaenyra and Mysaria kiss from last episode.

Oscar Tully, the man that you are! I don't really have much to say about the whole Harrenhal segment besides how fun it was watching this young boy completely destroy Daemon in front of everyone. He even forced him into a situation where Daemon has to do what Oscar wanted of him and after this obvious demonstration that Daemon will turn on his allies with the wind, he's pretty much further cemented the impression he made on the Riverlands lords that they should never consider him their leader. I like how they made it understandable why Oscar is so set on keeping old oaths since that's the way the Riverlands function. The choice to only make Daemon "succeed" through factors that he has entirely no control of is priceless, it has to be said. At this point they can just write "loser" on his forehead.

That red cloak for Rhaenyra's maid is such a baffling design choice. She's supposed to be incognito but she stands out like a sore thumb. Besides, only someone rich can afford to have clothes dyed in such a rich red color. It instantly makes it obvious she is working for someone of noble birth and makes her so very easy to keep track of even in a crowd. Why have they done this?

Someone pointed out that putting up fliers when the general population is illiterate is a really funny way to advertise and I have to agree.

Respectfully, I do not give a shit about Hugh and his dead child. Maybe I would have if they had actually shown the death and didn't make him act like that's in the past already. Also, maybe once let a woman want something? I mean, they just lost their daughter. Let his wife want to have the power and means to prevent that from happening to other people and to any future children they might have ffs. This show only pretends to be feminist but will not let women want anything for 3 seconds.

I wrote a whole essay on Larys and Aegon and I've decided to make it the focus of its own post that you can find here.

Rhaena's scene is a perfect demonstration of what I mean when I say that they're dragging their feet. They just hinted that there will be exciting developments in the next episode and didn't do anything to actually move that plot line along. They could have easily cut that scene and put a condensed version of it in the next episode right before Rhaena actually gets to claim Sheepstealer.

The focus for this episode is obviously Rhaenyra's plan with the Dragonseeds and that has had some very interesting developments.

First of all, love how they show us that Rhaenyra is exactly her father's daughter. She hasn't thought this through anymore than Viserys did. He wanted her to be his heir but still married and raped Alicent because he just wanted to have sex and then proceeded to ignore his children from her and the problem that having legitimate sons is creating for the entire realm. Rhaenyra just wanted to have sex with Harwin and had three illegitimate sons and now to win the war for her own inheritance she has to take away the only symbol of legitimacy that Jace has. By very clearly showing that just random bastards that know nothing of the tradition surrounding dragons and can't even speak the language of the dragons can just as successfully ride them, she totally destroys the idea that Jace is somehow more than any Targaryen bastard that you can find at Fleabottom. Great job, Rhaenyra!

To be fair, all her options are equally bad but she's the one that did this. If she hadn't had illegitimate children, she literally wouldn't have been facing this problem. She just thought that her being princess and heir to the throne will give her a pass for anything but she has set Jace up for another war now. When she dies and he ascends the throne, there will be people who will think him not worthy of it because he's not any different from all the other bastards that were raised as the lowest links of society. There will also be the other bastards with dragons that can try to steal his throne. People were saying that Alicent is at fault for everything bad that happens to her children because she put Aegon on the throne but Rhaenyra is doing the exact same thing to Jace now and it is for a crown. She knew from the start her claim was shaky and that Jace's claim as her heir is even more shaky. She still proceeded because she wanted that crown.

The dragon tamers revolting against Rhaenyra's actions was such a great representation of how interlaced the dragons are with the classism and the "divine right to rule" of the Targaryens. To win this war Rhaenyra literally has to tear down the very pillars on which the supremacy of her house is built. She's self-destructing in slow motion because yes, she might win and get to sit the throne but the people will get disillusioned about the dragons being gods and about the Targaryens having the sole claim to the throne if any bastard can walk in directly from the street and claim a dragon. That voiceover in the beginning of season 1 saying the only thing that can destroy the House of the Dragon is itself sure is getting proven correct.

They finally let Rhaenyra do something that would tear down her image of the hero partially. Isn't it funny how she was so horrified by what happened to Ser Stefan but had no problem leaving 30-40 bastards to die? Sure, she had proof that her wild idea can be done once Addam and Seasmoke bonded but she knew very well that a lot of those people would die and she just didn't really care. Good thing they don't know about Ser Stefan's attempt and her reaction to that. Otherwise, they could easily turn their new dragons on her since she clearly still thinks them lesser.

I liked the way they did the bonding moment between Hugh and Vermithor. Hugh really showed he meant business and earned Vermithor's respect. But on the tail end of that, Ulf's scene was a fucking joke. Silverwing should have eaten him whole. Especially since he stepped in her clutch of eggs. Him getting a taste of what riding a dragon is like was still kind of cute. Also quite a revolutionary step for Westerosi society, though I have a feeling Rhaenyra won't like what that step leads to in the end.

Stop teasing me with mentions of Daeron, show! I am almost 100% convinced that they won't get him in here until season 3 so what's the point? Especially since we already heard the exact same information in the previous episode.

The writing for Alicent is so unserious fr. The way they are letting her wallow in this self-pity because there's nothing else for her to do is atrocious. Especially since the last trigger apparently was the riot in last episode, which is just an insult. What do you mean that all of her sacrifice and service to the realm was just so she would be hated? She's supposed to be beloved by the small folk. I hate the writers so much for the way they're constantly throwing stuff in to make you hate the Greens, and switching plot beats around, giving all the ones that earn sympathy to the Blacks. I've been ranting about that all season, however, so I'll leave it at that.

People that still think Alicent was trying to drown herself are so baffling to me. I could have told you she wasn't going to do it just from the trailer for this episode. It was clearly shown that she took off her dress before entering the lake. (Btw did the music while she was removing her green dress remind anyone else of "The Green Dress" theme from Rhaenyra's wedding? But a lot more solemn and just straight-up resigned? Which would fit perfectly with her stupid arc.) You don't take off your clothes if you mean to drown as it'd be easier to drown with more clothes on. And also, are we talking about the same woman? Alicent? Committing suicide????? After she saved Criston from doing the same???? I know she's on a downward spiral but she was just chilling in that water. That didn't look like someone trying to drown themselves. I guess that "I'm not sure I mean to [return to the city]" line could have sounded suicidal but I have only one thing to say to that: Alicent, get your ass back to the Red Keep right this instant istfg. Aemond just torched Aegon and she and Helaena were attacked and she just... leaves?????? Girl, what about your children? They need you! At least the trailer for the next episode shows that she's back.

People saying that Aemond should leave Helaena alone and not ask her to join the fight, you don't even deserve the RIP. I am different from you aka better. Please, for the love of fuck, get her on Dreamfyre and let her do something at last! They have completely glossed over and erased the effect that her son's death has on her but that at least means that she is totally capable of getting on her dragon and frying a bunch of people. I am seriously hoping that she will!

P.S. I might have known I was going to write a whole essay despite "having nothing to say". *sigh*

[quinloki]

Hello! Can we get Smoker, Crocodile, and Corazon with the kinks: smoking kink (like shotgunning and just the act of smoking during sex) corruption kink, and size kink! Thank you very much💝

ROSINANTE \lol/ OMG SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED ABOUT THE OTHER DONQUIXOTE <3 <3 <3

I have no issue writing about Doffy (he is a blorbo), but I was just thinking "I'd love for someone to ask about Rosi, and if I catch up and no one has, I'll ask for asks including him" - and then I got this -^_^-

(Also I've been compiling these, and we're at like 21k words xD )

Hmm.. let's do this by character. Oh I really like all these characters - I need to write some good Smoker and Corazon something at some point, they're just good characters. (Gods there is so much DILF vibe energy in this ask, I just need a second.)

Smoker:

Smoking Kink - FUCK Yes - Considering his devil fruit I think it's safe to say that there's just more Smoker can do when he's got a surplus of smoke to work with. Plus he knows you like the sound of his voice when he has cigars in his mouth. There's just something missing from it otherwise - until he takes the cigars out of his mouth and leans down low, speaking right into your ear in that low voice that seems impossibly smooth and commanding.

Unless you smoke on your own he won't shotgun you. But the scent of the cigars during sex aren't taking anything away from the experience, that's for sure.

Corruption Kink - I guess - I can see Smoker being willing to role-play corrupting you in someway, but I can't see him doing so legitimately. The vibe I get is that you would both be on similar pages when it came to how worldly you were (or weren't), and while there are several kinds of corruptions to choose from, I don't see Smoker being a V-card collector anymore than I can see him being the one teaching you about bdsm, or trying to get you to steal xD

I can see you both learning about kinky things together, but yeah. He's a little cinnamon-roll-y to me <3

Size Kink - Smoker isn't very-- *looks up his height*... short. He isn't very Short. Holy shit this man's 6'10" ?!?! Hells, I thought he was like 5'8"-5'9"... *ahem*. I'mma need a minute.

Haaaa - okay, Smoker is a Sure/Yes for size kink and I think he feels a little bad about it. People can't control their height, but he does enjoy being the bigger one in the relationship. Possibly because at his height it's hard for him to not be the bigger one, but if he met someone at his height or taller, he wouldn't just dismiss the idea of a relationship with them either. I mean, it would be nice to trade off who gets to be the big spoon.

That said, he does like being able to basically engulf you. From easily being over top you as you pant and squirm under him all the way to being able to cuddle you like you were little more than an over-sized teddy bear. (he's also got a weakness for tilting your chin up so he can kiss you, cause you always look flustered even if it's just for a split second).

Sir Crocodile:

Smoking Kink - FUCK Yes - Crocodile's cigars smell good. It's a scent that slips along your skin and soothes your nerves. It's a little citrus, warm spices, and almost a kind of hot sand smell. It's lazes in the room and no matter how much he smokes it's never overwhelming - if anything it's relaxing. (I'm not saying he's laced his cigars specifically to calm you, but I'm not not saying that either).

This man will shotgun you - after he's already got you used to his cigars, and probably has you enjoying one every now and then. He certainly smokes during sex, well, depending on the kind of sex. He's not risking burning you or setting something on fire, but if he's leaned back and letting you do the work, the air's certainly heavy with smoke.

Corruption Kink - Yes - He's not a good guy, and if you understand that from the beginning then you'll certainly get some level of respect for it. But he's more than happy to pull you into his world - whether you want to be a part of actively or not doesn't really matter to him. You don't have to become a functional part of whatever business venture is going on, but he's not going to keep things from you either. You'll sink into the sandy depths with him, but he'll keep you from drowning, so don't panic.

He is, to me, the one with the most experience in the relationship, so he'll guide you through any kink you didn't already have, while happily indulging almost any other kink you do have.

Size Kink - Sure - Crocodile is very middle ground for this. He does enjoy being larger than his partner, but that just might be because when you're as tall as he is, statistically people are going to be smaller than you. He's not against an equal or larger partner, size hardly matters in any capacity, but even less so in terms of power dynamics. He'll be in charge no matter who's bigger than who.

Plus, if he wants you to have to stretch a struggle to take him, there's several ways to make that happen regardless of whether you're bigger than him or not.

Rosinante -

Smoking Kink - No - Rosinante doesn't even like that he smokes - if for no other reason than the habit costs him a lot in replacement coats and clothes. But he's already half a nervous wreck about having a slip up in the midst of sex, he's not bringing in extra risks. The smell of those cigarettes do cling to him, and it's not unpleasant at least, so if you like the scent of him smoking you're at least not missing out on that.

Corruption Kink - Oh god you have no idea - Something about nurture vs nature, but he is a Donquixote. He wants to own you, pull you into every kink he loves and make you irrevocably his. The biggest difference between him and his brother, is that he does want your permission to do these things to you. In every aspect that he can be your first he wants to be it - no matter what it is, no matter what you've already done, he's not going to turn you away if you've already been with someone, but he'll struggle to hold himself back if you haven't.

He wants to mark you and mess you up, behind closed doors, in sessions, without shattering who you are. It's a fine line, but he's been tight-rope walking his whole life, so he's good at it.

Size Kink - FUCK Yes - He wants to be the little spoon so bad. Coming at an impressive 9'7.5" though, he's uh... he's maybe not going to get that chance unless he can come across someone who has a devil fruit power that can change his size. Or hey, if you're tall enough (OP-sona go, go!) then you can certainly fill that desire for him.

All that said, he's not going to cast you aside if you're shorter/smaller than he is. The kink only rates that high because he's resigned himself to it never being fulfilled quite the way he'd like, and he'd probably cry if it happened.

Kinky One Piece Head Canon

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve sighed as he collapsed on the couch. He barely noticed when Nancy sat down next to him or when Jonathan sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" Nancy asked Steve.

"I'm trying to adjust. . .suddenly, my entire perspective has suddenly changed. Monsters exist and not just human monsters. . .but actual monsters. Suddenly, what was important before didn't seem to matter as much. . . My grades, basketball, and whether or not my parents can stick around long enough to notice - " Steve suddenly cut himself off and winced. "I mean, they're important, but - does anyone else feel small?"

"Yeah, but I was born that way," Nancy said softly.

Steve looked at her at the same time that Jonathan did. They looked at each other over her for a moment before bursting into laughter. Nancy giggled. After laughing for a while, they settled into comfortable silence.

"One minute, I was coming here to apologize, and then - oh, shit, I came here to apologize," Steve said in realization.

"Man, you apologized when you got here, and then proved it by coming back in here. You risked your life," Jonathan said softly.

"All the more reason why I need to get this out because we could be dead and we're not," Steve said. "I'm sorry for what I said at the theater, and I'm sorry to both of you. I should have stopped Tommy and Carol from doing that shit. I was too caught up in my own anger because of what I saw."

"What were you supposed to think? That I had just been dragged into another dimension by an otherworldly monster?" Nancy asked.

"I should have trusted you. Instead, I, uh, and this isn't an excuse, but all I could see was me and my mom walking in on my dad," Steve said.

"Jesus, how old were you?" Jonathan asked.

"Six, and it never stopped, which is why my mom started to go with him on his business trips," Steve said. "All I could see that very first time and suddenly, my dad's voice was taking over then it was coming out of my mouth. When I said those things. . .I wanted you to hit me. I deserved it. I acted out of jealousy. . .not just because of Nancy but because Will had someone out there looking for him. I don't want to be like my dad. . .what my dad wants is someone who isn't real."

"I get it," Jonathan said, swallowing thickly. "Not wanting to be like your dad. Sometimes, you try so hard not to be like them that you end up doing something that they would do. Nancy confronted me about the pictures, and all I could do was get defensive, make up some bullshit about how she was trying to be someone she wasn't. It wasn't my place to say, Nancy, and I'm sorry. I am actually sorry this time because at the time, I wasn't thinking about how you felt. I couldn't see what I did was wrong, then I thought about Will. . . If Will was in that position. . .if my mom. . .I think I would have slammed the camera in the guy's face. I'm sorry, Nancy."

Nancy got up and stood in front of them, seizing them up for a moment. She picked up the bat off of the floor. She swung it around and twirled it. Jonathan and Steve shared a nervous look.

"I think apologies don't mean anything unless you have the actions to back them. You both have more than made up for it. You have proven yourselves worthy. Enough apologies from my boys. . .I deem you both. . .forgiven," Nancy said and pointed the bat at both of them. "From this day forward, neither one of you need not apologize. . . And if you try to, I'll punch you in the throat. . ."

"Her boys?" Steve asked Jonathan.

"She's wielding a deadly bat, I don't think we have a choice," Jonathan smirked.

"All three of us have wielded the bat tonight. It started out as Nancy's, then Jonathan made it. . .right? Right. I used it, Nancy used it, Jonathan used it. . .it's ours, right?" Steve asked. "Let me see."

"Yeah," Nancy said.

"You have a knife?" Steve asked.

"Here," Jonathan said and placed the knife in his hands, his fingers brushing against his palm.

Steve stuck out his tongue as he carved their initials on the bottom of the bat.

"Ours," Steve said.

"We don't have to be perfect or try to be anyone else," Nancy said softly as she sat down on the coffee table in front of them. "Just us."

She took their hands and rubbed her thumbs over each of them. Jonathan stared at Nancy's and Steve's hands.

"You have big hands," Jonathan blurted out.

"Well, you know what they say about a guy with big hands," Steve smirked.

"You're all talk," Jonathan said.

"He's not," Nancy giggled. "Give me the knife."

Steve handed the knife over to Nancy. She flipped Jonathan's bandage hand over before doing the same with hers. She flipped Steve’s hand over. Smooth. She traced the tip of the blade over his skin. Steve shuddered.

"Nancy. . . ?" Jonathan asked.

"It seems only fair. . .I get it if you don't want to," Nancy said softly.

"Do it," Steve swallowed.

Nancy pushed the blade with more force and dragged it across his palm. He winced as she opened up his skin slightly, blood welling up. Jonathan immediately grabbed something to press against his hands.

"Ours," Nancy breathed.

"You know, we could have sealed it with a kiss," Steve said, half joking.

"We could still do that," Nancy said and paused. "I want this. . .both of you, but I'm just not entirely sure that I'm ready for a relationship after all this, but when I am. . .I know it's going to be with both of you. So, what happened now and what's going to happen next. . .it's a promise. I hope you don't mind."

"Take all of the time you need, Nancy," Jonathan said softly.

"I think after this, we could all use some time to adjust," Steve said honestly.

Nancy smiled and touched Steve’s cheek gently before leaning in to kiss him. It was soft and sweet but quick. She pulled back and kissed Jonathan just the same. When she pulled away, Jonathan and Steve stared at each other. Nancy bit her lip, staring at them, hopefully. They gazed at each other thoughtfully, and then their eyes drifted towards each other's lips. Steve and Jonathan moved at the same time, their lips meeting in the middle. They smiled into the kiss. It was just as short and sweet as Nancy's, but it was enough to know that they both liked it. Nancy stood up and held out her hands for her boys. They took them.

"Let's get back to the others," Nancy said softly.

Perhaps it was strange. . .the three of them. They were all just trying to live in this world, and it's hard when society wants you to hide but also stand out. They weren't going to pretend anymore. Jonathan, while still a photographer, wasn't going to hide behind his camera. . .at least not with them. Steve wasn't going to surround himself with the wrong people just because he didn't want to be alone. Nancy's wasn't going to take shit from anyone about who she wants or what she wants. And together. . .they were determined to live as honestly to who they are as much as possible.

Later, in the hospital, as they waited for Will to wake up, the promise of tomorrow hung in the air. What would the future hold for the three of them? Given enough time, would they still want the same things? Things change, people change, but maybe the most important things didn't. When Will woke up, Nancy stared at him as his friends celebrated at the sight of him, and Nancy couldn't help but feel Barb's loss. She should be here. Suddenly, a hand slipped into hers. It was Steve, and he looked at her like he knew what she was thinking. Nancy smiled sadly and looked back at Jonathan, who peered over Mike's head. No, she was going to fight to keep them in her life, no matter what, as hard as she fought for Barbara, as hard as Jonathan and Joyce fought for Will. This was who she was.

[skaruresonic]

Crusher partly left because they no longer felt part of the Sonic fandom due to the direction the franchise is going. That and their fanfiction often got ignored, unless they talked about discourse which is not fair.

But I don't think the harassement is just one-sided. I have seen plenty of blogs talking badly about Sonic fans for not sharing the same opinion. Like calling a Fan the R-slur because they said they loved a character from sonic idw on Twitter. You know the people that do that. You follow them to.

...We're really gonna play this game today? "Random says the R word sometimes so that means you're no innocent"? Yeah, no shit. I know I'm an asshole. I have never made that a secret. What you're seeing is me at the very end of the damns I have left to give after years of trying to give my harassers the benefit of the doubt.

To be brutally honest, I no longer care. My sympathy for them has, quite frankly, dried up, because when people claim you're playing victim for bringing up that it's fucked-up to be told your dead mom is burning in hell, it jades you. It hardens your heart.

Crusher's harassment is regrettable and I don't blame him one bit for jumping ship when he did. He seems a lot happier in his new position.

I have my own life to live too, you know, and at the risk of sounding callous, having your stuff ignored is not just a Crusher problem. Do you care that I just graduated Year Two of our language program? Do you care that in a month or so, the program will have published a children's book I illustrated? Do you care that I'm developing a visual novel quite literally all on my own?

I'm guessing the answer is "no" because it's not convenient to your belief that I'm a harasser. And maybe I am. Maybe I have become one.

There, you have my confession recorded in writing. Go check XDAmz's Twitter and see them gloat to their friends about it.

I am the one who motivates me, every single day, because nobody else will. And I'm not just being "woe is me" about it either because my aunt left graduation ceremony early; I receive very little support irl or online unless I ask for it, which I don't do because it feels like I'm burdening people.

In fact, my family doesn't encourage my language learning at all. They've shamed me for it, in so many words.

I don't think you realize how much effort it takes to self-study one of the hardest languages to achieve fluency in when you have vertigo so fucking bad that you can hardly do anything but lie in bed. In the words of Eminem, "Some days I just wanna call it quits, I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks." But I kept going because I couldn't afford not to. It's the same for creative endeavors, as with anything else.

I have sympathy for fic writers, especially in this current fannish climate where you're essentially shouting into the void. But at the same time, after a while, you really do have to take stock of your priorities and decide what's important to you. Engagement is nice and we could all stand to receive more recognition for our efforts, but it cannot be the engine that drives you.

This has been a recurring pattern in my life. I've learned that I can really only be my own cheerleader most of the time. Maybe it's this way for most people, maybe not, but that's just how it is for me.

On top of that, I feel guilty about not doing enough to support my friends' stuff while handling own stuff. So thanks for the reminder.

[chirpsythismorning]

With Birthdaygate pretty much confirmed, here are two moments from 4x02 Vecna's Curse that hit different...

(1) First we have Jonathan stopping Will as he goes into Rink-O-Mania to tell him something. Will turns around quickly and almost looks, dare I say, hopeful?

But why would that be the case? Unless of course there's something Will's waiting for Jonathan to say, that he hasn't said yet? Happy Birthday perhaps? Surprise Will! We didn't forget your birthday! We're coming in! We have a party planned and everything! Meet you inside! (interesting that there were birthday decorations in there as well...)

Unfortunately, all Jonathan does is tell Will that they'll be back to pick them up at 6:00. And so Will goes from sad, to hopeful, only to go back to looking sad again...

I think a lot of fans attributed Jonathan's concerned looks in this moment as him knowing about Will's feelings for Mike. And I do still think that's present, especially as he's telling Will they'll be there to pick them up later. In that specific moment he sounds sympathetic like Sorry buddy, that sucks.

However, the look Jonathan makes after Will turns away, as Argyle starts driving off, doesn't look like sympathy or pity from someone witnessing unrequited love. It looks like confusion and almost deja vu being experienced by Jonathan himself. As if he's forgetting something, but doesn't know what it is...

(2) Next is at the very end of Will and Mike's fight. Mike sort of echoes the same level of frustration he had during their rain fight, when he said It's not my fault you don't like girls. We know the scenes parallel each other, and how after both of those things are said, there's this silence that takes over, making clear that this is as far as they can go, otherwise they might risk hurting each other beyond fixing. We see both of them make faces of deep emotion here, because they probably are also being reminded of their fight last summer.

And so Will's options here were to, either (A) take it even further and risk hurting Mike more than he's hurting him, or (B) just don't say anything and let the argument end there before it gets beyond repair.

But the thing is, it almost looked like Will was going to say something. He quite literally mouths the word But-- only to cut himself off all together, looking defeated.

Here's what I think. THIS would have been the perfect moment for Will to say, But, you forgot my birthday, Mike. If it was genuinely something as simple as Mike and everyone simply forgetting and needing a reminder, without any supernatural implications involved, I think this would have been the moment to do it.

It would have also mirrored their rain fight even better because it would have been Will saying something and likely walking away, leading to Mike being like OH SHIT I have to fix this! I messed up.

But we all know it's not that simple.

As far as Will knowns, EVERYONE forgot his birthday, not just Mike. And so him calling out Mike here, might have felt slightly unjustified in that it wasn't just him who forgot.

It's almost like they're not the problem here, he is. (WILL POV ANGST)

That's what truly makes the scenes at Rink-O-Mania so heartbreaking. Because it wasn't just about Mike and El ignoring him, it was the fact that it was his literal birthday. All the most important people in his life, who used the literal memory of his birthday to bring him back bc they cared about him so much in the past, have now apparently forgot about him in the present.

Not to mention, the story not blatantly acknowledging his birthday being forgotten in the narrative of s4, means that it was framed this way bc the whole point was they only wanted it to be hinted at in s4, saving it as a surprise revelation in s5.

And so, if Will did say here, but Mike, you forgot my birthday, how would that have impacted the conflict in s4 and Vecna's plan as a whole, specifically for Will? All it would have taken was them connecting the dots after that, figuring out Vecna's plan before he could even reach Will, rendering s5 plotless?...

S5 is likely going to jump right into this, there's too much incriminating evidence about unused footage at the Rink-O-Mania location. It also fits with them not mentioning it in s4 if it's intended to be an early s5 revelation.

TBH with all the storylines going on in s4, them exploring the depths of Will's connection to Vecna just wasn't an option, bc they wouldn't have been able to do it justice. He needs to be front and center for that.

They're clearly saving the best for last...