#but idk why I'm like this anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovepaintt · 11 months

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I haven't been on here in forever and quite honestly doubt if anyone I used to talk to really remembers me now. But hello

#bex.txt #i guess i just feel overwhelmed by everything #and i miss coming on here and seeing all of the things i used to enjoy #and have fun reblogging all my kpop #nonsense #like #i never decided that it was time to move on from my interests like kpop or kdramas or anime or bls #i never moved on to different interests or find other hobbies like most people do #i kind of just stopped enjoying anything #ive felt like this for a few years now #helpless depressed anxious listless #i feel like i have no purpose or rhyme or reason to exist #i feel like I'm watching everyone else around me progress or at least have their lives moving in a forward motion #and I'm just kind of stuck in place #and i thought it was because of my old job or my lack of income or my inability to support my family #and i still believe that was a part of it #but idk why I'm like this anymore #why i feel like this and its so frustrating #i want to enjoy things again #anything really but i cant and idk why #even if its not the things i was interested in before #i just want to feel the joy i used to feel #i want to do things and enjoy those things

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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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kaiserouo · 5 months

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Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel

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lonelyinkmark · 4 months

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✨💀💜 Rose 💜💀✨

#rose lalonde #homestuck #my art #pixel art #homestuck rose #idk why but I felt like drawing her #I'm not even in the fandom anymore but like I guess you never do leave

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violetscanfly · 2 months

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Once again I offer you art that I didn't post when it was made✌🏻 One thing I have learned is to never throw away your art because even if you don't immediately like it you might some day

#and this isn't to say I don't cringe at some of my old art 😂 I think that's just an inescapable part of the experience #I think it's mostly perfectionism that stops me from liking some of my drawings #because fairly often I just randomly find a drawing that I actually really like but never posted cause I deemed it not good enough #and then later I'm like “so what if there are weird mistakes that stick out to me. If someone else had drawn this would I think this way”#and I see the parts that stopped me from posting a piece and am like why did it seem so important back then #I love looking through my old art and being like I'm so glad I drew this #especially if it's something I had forgotten about #idk what brought this art ramble on ig I'm just happy to find joy in creating when there's so much a i bs going on #also the paper this is drawn on literally has “why can't I draw anymore” on it so if you're feeling artblocky know that it will pass #violetscanfly #artists on tumblr #watercolour #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fanart #mdzs #wei ying

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gotchibam · 9 months

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Commissioned piece for Gabriel!

#artists on tumblr #astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #gotchibam arts #commissioned piece #i'm welcoming 2024 w/ astarion art bc why not :3c #thank you for giving me the opportunity to draw him!!! 🥺🥺🥺#as much as I wanted to draw him I was also kinda worried bc i've been getting rusty w/ anatomy #I keep thinking idk how to draw ppl anymore & then I always surprise myself lol #I guess using refs really does help :0 #also! i've tried to draw astarion so many times before but I never like how they turn out skdjhfkjshsf #this one tho..... this is an exception #this is probably the best astarion i've drawn so far ;w;#me admiring him from afar: he's so pretty. he's so pretty. he's so pretty. he's so pretty... wHY IS HE SO PRETTY

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royalarchivist · 6 months

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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

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momowoah · 5 months

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Kenny and JLH saying Ryan will have good acting moments this season... Shannon coming back... Eddie having important scenes/storylines towards the end of the season... Christopher, Buck and the Diaz family all on set together in what could very well be a hospital... will reveal, near death coma dream spec... recent catholic guilt arc............. what if what if what if

#like man atp i really don't know what it can be besides eddie like dying (please don't) or being gay like. idk what else makes sense #before the video for gavins bday you could argue it'd be him moving on w/ marisol #but now??? I don't really think it can be that anymore #like why were both buck and the diaz family there #why was the diaz family there at all?????? what could've been so serious that it got them to come all the way from texas to la????#eddies gotta be on his death bed bc there's no way #I'm scared hahahaha #eddie diaz #Christopher diaz #evan buckley #diaz family #911 #911 abc #911 spec #911 spoilers #buddie

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bixels · 8 months

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When I was getting my diagnosis, my psychiatrist told me right after giving me my prescription that I need to consider eating food a part of my medication, and that flipped a switch in my brain that oh. Maybe willingly starving myself and eating only one meal a day isn't healthy.

#typing this while i'm at work and so hungry my stomach is aching and hurting #personal #delete later #i don't even know why i starve myself i don't have an eating disorder and it's not like i forget to eat #it's just i have so little time to eat meals nowadays that i don't consider it important anymore #so i just try and tough it out #tw: eating issues #tw: eating problems #tw: disordered eating #idk what tw to put on this #tw: medication

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lab-gr0wn-lambs · 10 months

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mid-seasons Daryl's so smooth-headed

#just a damp fella.#I'm still struggling to put people into art styles uuuuughhh #using Daryl to practice bc I know what he looks like so well at this point #but man. I still can't figure this shit out #either it's just simplified realism or Some Random Cartoon Guy #like this doesn't quiiite look like him to me #somethin's wrong #but idk if that's because I'm not used to Shiny New Baby Daryl anymore #I'm being so nitpicky but this is what I do #anyways #the walking dead #the walking dead fanart #daryl dixon #scribbles #daryl dixon fanart #also I'm on a weird kick of using the blandest ugliest saddest colours lately #makin everything just look dirty and sickly <3 #it's on purpose but I'm not rly sure why

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stars-n-spice · 5 months

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Y'all think Hunter's enhanced senses work like Spidey Senses?

Like when he's not 100% or something he starts to lose them Tobey Maguire style?

#idk i'm trying to explain why it seems like he doesn't have them anymore #going to give the writers the benefit of the doubt #but i'm sure they just fucking forgot #they thought hunter's “special enhanced trait” was just 'dad'#like how the fuck did he not sense that giant animal thingy?#how did RAMPART fucking find it before Hunter #like maybe when he's stressed they don't work as well #idk #anyways now my head is thinking up spidersonas for clone force 99 #tbb #tbb s3 #tbb hunter #hunter bad batch

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gspot-rocks-the-gspot · 6 months

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acepto a Cristo (Gandhi) en mi corazón

(university is killing me helpppp)

#clone high #clone high gandhi #ch gandhi #clone high fanart #fanart #my art #artists on tumblr #ibispaintx #i feel like people think that i'm not into Clone High anymore idk why

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puppetmaster13u · 1 year

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Meat Marionette #?????

Y'know I wonder what the Justice League thought about when they first met Bludhaven's Bat lol

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rainydaygt · 19 days

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g/t tumblr roulette is opening the 'your tags' tab when you're following the #size difference tag

#it's like 50/50 if it's gonna be g/t or feeder kink #truly scary #actually i'm numb to it atp #i dont RLLY care #it's just not great when i'm in public #why do i even open tumblr in public anymore???#idk yall im freaking crazy sauce #anyway i'm hoping to get the dtiys ready in the next few days #i been busy #as per usual #rain rambles #g/t #g/t community #g/t shitpost #sfw g/t #size difference

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gotchibam · 5 months

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Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔

#once I have all my commission slots filled up that's when i'll buy one #i've been hesitating bc i'm not used to spending a big amt for something but honestly it's more of an investment than a simple want #my poor 10 year old laptop + monitor + keyboard setup is the 'pc' im currently using #both the laptop screen & keyboard isn't working properly anymore so i have a separate monitor + keyboard for it #it's pretty laggy most of the time #not sure how it's still holding up #ngl sometimes i'm worried it'll just give up on me & break at any moment #so I kinda wanna have a backup device #anyways! I get easily tired drawing on pc for some reason #I think it's bc i unconsciously tense my neck? whenever i stare at the monitor for too long #also my eyes hurt + the extreme hot weather lately is making me dizzy so i can't work for long periods of time 😔#I see a lot of artists use ipad so i'm guessing drawing on a tab would also feel nice???#also would that get you in the mood to draw more bc you can bring it w/ u anywhere?#i'm hoping to be able to draw more honestly.....#also the timelapse!! csp wont let me record timelapse on my current pc and idk why that is #might be bc im still on win 7 #HOPING i could post timelapse vids when i finally have a tab #tbh i want to get one asap (like as in rn) but I want to make sure I have enough budget first so im waiting for my comm slots to be full #bam blabs

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coollyinterferes · 5 days

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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…

They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…

…and closer…

……until..................

"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.

"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.

"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…

#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not #because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic #(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly

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