#but i wasnt built for this
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Guys, I can't do it.
#nyx speaks. ooc.#i cant keep working here#i thought i could handle it#but i wasnt built for this#i have far too many sensory issues#i love the dogs so much#but it's prob not a good thing to have a panic attack and then a mental breakdown#in the bathroom of your work place#bc youre overstimulated
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totals ur drama
#shut up. dont say a word. total drama lives in my SOUL but that wasnt how this started.#so i talk abt it privately a bit but im currently Drowning in ideas. ive never had this happen before. i have a backlog of ~25 drawings#and then i thought 'oh maybe it WOULD be fun to build a silver rig! a simple one! like the chihiro DR rig i built!'#and then i SCREAMED INTO THE VOID because i do not have TIME!!!! even a SIMPLE RIG IS MINIMUM A FULL DAYS WORK#but does reason ever stop me??? NO. so i fuckign. DREW THIS AFTER TODAY'S BG SERIES WORK. YKNOW. JUST IN CASE#im smashing my head with ROCKS i am DERANGED. i am CURSED. i do not have TIME FOR THJIS. HES SO CYUTE#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails#oh yea but also im obsessed with total drama and always have been and always will be and have watched the reboot seasons#multiple times each and i have them downloaded just in case and i read the tumblr webcomic total trauma and have for years and and and#gripping ur shoulders. leave. get out of here before i keep yapping
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Jenson has never called Daniel the "golden boy", I've looked for it for years and always end up back at your blog.
and it wasn't even the only time boooo 🍅🍅 boo jenson loves the golden boy more than he loves you boo 🍅🍅
#1. you could have just asked where its from instead of being a rude CXNT PLS????#2. resist the urge to pretend like daniel was never fast or never highly regarded. like.#3. this genuinely wasnt the only time jenson has said that but now youve made me a HOARDER#4. research talent on 0 :/ sounds like a skill issue :/ could never be me :/ i would have found it in 5 mins :/ we're built different ig ://#daniel ricciardo#jenson button#f1
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hehehehehe got a book full of casey stoner pics from 2007 this is awesome
#two of three hundred. my best purchase other than my dovi die cast and my marc model that i still havent built yet#eight* i added more#i looooove casey stoner. it has some quotes from him but theyre kinda repeat so will be checking the legitimacy of them later#i got it for like 20$ thought it was a scam but praise be it wasnt#casey stoner#motogp#book is casey stoner campione del mondo motogp 2007#photos (according to the book) are courtesy of archivio ducati corse - foto milagro#in the fine print it says ill be prosecuted if i reproduce save or transmit anythign from the book. prayers ig#by any means and any forms 😕 guess allll these photos r for meee jajajaja#id go to italian jail for cool photos of casey stoner. hell yea
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"transandrophobia"
> meaningless. It's posing as a sister-opression to transmisogyny; transmisogyny itself is an intersection of two oppressed conditions, implying the same for the other. However, misogyny is real, "androphobia" is not. The word you're looking for is transphobia
#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#transphobia#if my tone wasnt clear enough; transandrophobia is an sham built out of insecurity and implicit bias#i get the feeling a lot of you are uncomfortable with the idea that transwomen are in fact opressed in nuanced ways you could not experience#and that they're at a significant disadvantage to you. this is ofc exemplified in the ways you keep harassing the ones who arent palatable#to your taste and branding them with whatever wide brush that could absolve you of your wrongdoing: white/abled/freak/predator/etc#shockingly! these are the very same tactics employed by every other trans issue grifter to vilinise tma ppl#im not saying this is you. im saying you should consider why youre standing next to those ppl and if you wanna keep doing that
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Just. percolating thoughts about Bill, denial and his lies are lies. Bill as a character I'd say is characterized by deep deep denial. He's a character that's both aware and immediately not aware of his feelings and his situation; it's all very doublethink. It's about denying everything and drowning it all out (yeahhhhh big partier? Alcohol and drug abuse? Totally a result of being healthy; not to mention the dissociative episodes he APPARENTLY GETS???).
Because essentially, hes constantly warping his perception of everything occurring around this glass tower he's built of who he is, a ruthless, unfeeling tyrant of a monster, akin to a god (and beloved by humans when he deigns to charm them). This persona is something that he's made in response to his own belief that he's a monster, his own deep insecurities for being a freak and wanting to have proper connection, care and vulnerability with someone that he's lacked. It's a persona built upon self destructive tendencies, denial and the pursuit of pleasure for the purpose of drowning out anything uncomfortable, that he's practiced for trillions of years. And at the same time these insecurities that built this persona are all deeply denied in the way he'll deny that Ford meant everything to him but also when asked if Ford meant nothing to him, backtrack. He's both aware and not aware; he'll never have a thought of 'oh I loved Ford' because that is IMMEDIATELY repressed. He can't even admit that. It doesn't fit who he's supposed to be, it's vulnerable, and we can't have that. This triangle is more repressed than a fucking gay Catholic priest. He's both emotionally literate and completely illiterate because any emotions or situations that don't fit his fictional self gets immediately suppressed/skewed in perspective.
And that's how he's both good and terrible at manipulation, because he knows how to play people and can be very good at it, but his denial gets in the way. That's why you see him not talking about his dimension unravelling to Ford to ask him to make the Portal, instead of pulling the rug out under Ford; because it's vulnerable, it doesn't fit 'him as a monster' and even if it would get his way he can't do that. He mentally cannot even conceive of asking that and can't even in a way to himself accept that his dimension is unravelling and he can't do anything prevent it, can only take over earth instead. And he assumes that Ford will simply just bow to his will because that's what's supposed to happen, right? And it's the same as his lies about all the people he contacted over human history that were annoyed by him; he's too far in denial to even acknowledge that they didn't like him because hes supposed to be loved by all he tries to charm, that's why he puts the pages in to TBOB because he thinks it makes him look good, even if anyone looking at that goes 'yeah that's not what's happening'.
And this is all the most obvious with what he did with his dimension, his guilt around it because if pressed he will never admit those feelings, and he doesn't even admit it too himself; in fact when it's brought up by others such as time baby he gets angry, because his denial over the situation becomes questioned. And it's only ever one instance, that you see Bill admit to vulnerability, to admit to being actually aware of any of all these underlying feelings, and that's the moment that he shares unprompted about Euclydia with Ford, in response to Ford's own vulnerability... in which he indirectly calling himself a monster.
And it's all so fascinating, because if his denial is ever properly cracked enough, oh BABY you know that glass tower is going to shatter, everything is going to come down like a house of cards, and Bill will be left in the wake of everything that he's done, with nothing to shield him emotionally. And so isn't it better to be in denial? To deny he killed his dimension? Doesn't it hurt less than to admit all along it was guilt, it was insecurity, and that after his dimension burned, he's razed civilizations to the ground in denial and self-destruction?
post previous to this (similar vein)
#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#gravity falls#the book of bill#TBOB#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#gravity falls meta#anyways uhhhh yeah been thinking bout bill clearly a lot. but. yeah#back to bill rotating around in the brain hours again whoops#but yeah christ this man is... built on denial#like yeesh where do you even begin in therapy because you begin to tug on it and it all begins to fall down around you. and youve had#trillions of years of denial. its second nature to you its muscle (mind?) memory.#i keep being like man this triangle need therapy- oh wait hes in therapy#but yeah. ford made him feel safe. feel connected. and bill was vulnerable with him. first time in trillions of years he was honest.#and then it all came crashing down and Bill did what he always did; into his glass tower. and he assumed always always assumed#that sixer was going to come back (he needs to come back) because they all love him (sixer loves him doesnt he?)#and Bill could offer him anything. and then Ford didnt come back and you see bill get abusive and upset because it wasnt supposed to#be like this. its not supposed to and he had suddenly lost the only person he had ever felt accepted and safe around. and suddenly that#worship-that love- it was something hes starving for even more acutely but he cannot even admit it#man bill you fumbled him sooo hard rip
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your fridge-build , original-red-and-purple-oufit magneto showed up in my dream yesterday and i was so unprepared it woke me up
reading this made me cackle for like a solid minute gjAELKGJAK he just wanted to say hi ....
leaving you with a fridge-magnet-sized magneto. so hopefully he can say hi again but less intimidatingly
#fave#i have to fave this i need to be reminded that this happened once in a while this is so funny#xmen#magneto#snap sketches#PLEASSEE THATS SO SILLY JVLKAJLKJ IM SORRY/YOURE WELCOME???#i dont think anyones ever dreamt of my art thats so silly and flattering#what was he doing ... what he just floating in the corner ..... please im still not over this its so funny ...#on that note tho im so bad at remembering dreams i never have them really#i used to have dreams a lot as a kid/teenager but they were mostly- if not all now that i think of it- nightmares#HOWEVER. i will say that like. a lil bit after i rewatched first class for the third time#i got a dream or two one with mcavoy and the other with film charles#the mcavoy dream was just that i met him in greece or something and i think the charles dream was at the school#they were both nice dreams so Am I Complaining absolutely not#just reminds me of the time when i binge watched an actor's movies and i had dreams of him for a whole week#in one of them he was making fun of me but it was in whatever semblance of japanese my brain could bs so it wasnt that bad#but it kinda was cause Since It Was A Dream i understood what he said but anwyays .... not important#THE OTHER DREAMS WERENT BAD THO he was my dad in one. aaand the other uhh.. i forget ...#i must stress me dreaming is such an oddity so these were so like. Oh Yeah Im Capable Of Dreaming JVLKAJK#very weird feeling waking up from a dream is what im tryna say .. i think ...#very funyn .... anyways i hope magneto visits you in your dreams again whether hes built like a semi or like a bug#just for the cosmic comedy of it all
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Ko'jin in a braid ko'jin in a braid ko'jin in a braid--
Current (post-totk) Ko'jin in his outfit from his early years as a deity. He looks so silly with it but in a good way lmao. I definitely think he still has it around and wears it when he's feeling like wearing smth lighter but still relatively functional.
#loz au#fierce deity#Ko'jin (Kheprriverse)#kheprriart#kheprriverse#this man is built like a dorito#im in a mood ok?#+ his sword in its naginata form coz i love the idea of him going wild with one#<- it doesnt have any special looks like the other forms do#also yea i think im confirming when he appears so-- yayyyyyy#i always knew he was going to appear in Spirit’s era after totk but wasnt sure if that was the best time??#another idea was maybe Ares’ era but i feel like meeting him in this state then would be way too early#regardless of when HW may or may not take place compared to Ballad’s era
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dai mod list
people requested a list of the mods i use!! i exclusively use frosty mod manager so everything is a frosty mod or a dai mod that works fine through frosty. these are for general use so let me know if there’s anything you’ve seen me using for a specific inquisitor or smth that you want to find!
the fundamentals
hair retexture
brown-friendly eye texture tweaks
nullify fall damage frosty
party banter tweaks
easier to read font mod for dai (averia serif libre)
no more paraphrasing
no dirt buildup
party at the winter palace
no more grave desecration
darth parametric’s inquisitor leather armour pads for frosty
advisors & companions
cullen complexion converted to frosty in the optional files of apomorph’s miscellany
cullen from cullen dorian tousled hair
lady josephine outfit retextures
josie deshine from npc subtle tweaks
josephine - true dark brown hair
leliana - the nightingale’s song (hair)
the left hand of the divine for frosty
fashionably divine
blackwall - unequipped outfit best used in conjunction with the dark retexture from casual ferelden (NOTE - turn this off for his personal quest appearance in val royeaux and if you plan to take him to in hushed whispers, or he will appear without a body in some scenes)
blackwall complexion edit
blackout hairstyle for blackwall from anto hairstyles
warden of orlais - blackwall remade (the “ONLY beard” optional file
solas complexion tweaks
vivienne complexion tweak from ellise’s companion complexions edited
chloe’s frosty conversions - elvici’s dorian in the rough
customising the inquisitor
misc hairstyles for frosty
tropelicious’ eyebrow mods
stubble pack
isabela hair and piercings for all has many more piercing options than the name would imply
prologue outfit: immersive starting armours or pilgrim’s coat or carta coat or the no starter optional file from here to use ur skyhold outfit
skyhold outfit: obviously very down to you and your inquisitor’s personal taste, but dwarven skyhold outfit retextures and elf pajama replacers and ferelden noble dress for all fem have been good to me
formal outfits: inquisition finery or champagne and truffles or inquisition charming (the latter is not a retexture and affects more outfits so can be difficult, for example i couldn’t manage to keep this for the others and give the inquisitor a dress)
other npcs
lore-friendly fiona and briala
briala’s banished bun backing
briala tarot card from briala (frosty)
imperial florianne (calpernia’s hair version)
golden mask for empress celene
the chasind shapeshifter - morrigan retexture
mercurialmalcontent’s kieran options and dress recolors for frosty
alistair’s old hair
actually alistair
#modding chatter#making me realise i modded the life out of blackwall. those built up over time i wasnt just like fuck this guy#long post
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of the many injustices put forth toward the show by fans i think the most overall damaging and telling of a complete lack of critical viewership is the idea that sam riegel builds his characters with nothing more than the bit in mind. like you are only telling on yourself if you think characters like scanlan shorthalt and veth brennato are one-dimensional and depthless
#if im being exTREMEly generous i can maybe understand this view of scanlan if you started c1 and then gave up 30 episodes later#he played the long game with him more than any other and a lot of his growth could be looked at as shallow if you DIDNT watch til the payoff#but any time this opinion is used as a blanket over all of his characters including tary and even FCG.. like be serious#i mean at this point im definitely biased bc he is my favorite player at the table. However. that wasnt always the case#and even when i was myself writing some character choices off i NEVER applied that to the characters themselves. how can you??#seen sooo many ppl criticize him for making veth an alcoholic or scanlan irreverent & hedonistic as tho it’s only possible#to play these traits as shallow jokes or at best played out satire…. and then the same person will turn around#and praise how percy was built to be pompous & superior and jester immature & self-centered and caleb steeped in self-effacing hubris#why are these characters and their players given a near universal acceptance of nuance and acknowledgement of growth & healing#but SAMS CHARACTERS ARE NOT!!!!#this turned into such a rant but it bothers me SO much. everyone at the cr table is so goddamned talented#and takes the game as seriously as it deserves#so many more points i could argue but this is already so goddamn long no one is reading this far. i love sam and all of his characters <333#critical role#sam riegel#scanlan shorthalt#veth brennato#my posts
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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One day someone tries to make fun of Kafka’s "spare tire" in Ichikawa’s hearing and he turns around and silently shows them a video that Kikoru sent of Kafka tossing 50lb bags of concrete powder like he’s picking fucking daisies
#textpost#Kaiju no 8#kn8#Hibino Kafka#Kafka Hibino#kafka#astral talks#my stuff#kill the idea that shredded = peak physical fitness#kafkas fat tum is his cushion and energy reserve. fucking.. look at power lifters or farmers. strong men are usually a little fat too#also the physical fitness part of the exam wasnt built to his strengths bc most of that required high intensity bursts of energy#i guarantee u if the second part of the exam was actually kaiju corpse disposal he would have wiped the floor with them#both by knowledge coordination AND physically. kafka has been doing long term strenuous manual labor for years#dont tell me he wouldnt have aced that
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I think the reason why I have a tendency to draw new things every few months is bc im Still relatively new to digital art and always wonder how much i improve in months
So mainly it's for my sake because im like Oh wait ive been drawing this character differently recently ?? And then Boom i take my eyes away for one second and theres redesigns
Plus instead of making clothing so complex i decided to go w my heart and base their clothes off of how id characterize them If That Makes Sense ,, i figure kallamars is the most obvious one for him being a tailor for example
Whereas shamura is the (main) undertaker , Leshy and Heket are the two missionary party leaders , and Narinders isnt very obvious but hes considered the gladiator :-3c
Lamb and Goat (Allure & Giuseppe) are the two leaders of the cult!! (Allure main leader, giuseppe co leader) As time went on and giuseppe settled in allure's cult , the name changed from just alluring lamb to the cult of death and wisdom ,,, Ram (aaliyah) isnt a very repetitive person that shows up at the cult since she has her own cult to run (within another universe , a war cult specifically) but she likes to show up every so often just to check in with her brother [giuseppe] :>c
And ofc how could i forget wilt lol- i forgot to add giuseppes cape here Woops ,, But its what giuseppes main clothes r in the other cult
And well i kinda wanted to incorporate the healed designs ,, another thing i wanted to add is that i constantly yap about them all being rlly strong (minus Narinder however- i believe he wouldn't be able to go on crusades or missionaries due to fibromyalgia) but its not too obvious either ,, id def say that leshy and allure are probably the strongest out of everyone else (leshy can summon roots from the ground and uses his body as an advantage, where as to allure their main weapon is withholding a heavy axe ,, but that shit is Not Easy so both leshy and allure are bottom heavy cuz of that- their back muscles and legs carry shit for the both of them HELPP)
Shamura isnt exactly a battlefield person though, they're probably the only bishop to not wanting to fight ?? Those days r Way behind them ,, Kallamar can make himself taller due to Allure reserving some strength left of the blue crown as apart of a compromise they were forced to make with kallamar to stay within the cult-
One thing in common Giuseppe and Narinder have is pacifism ,, narinder is a pacifist because of seeing allure so ill and he didnt actually like seeing people in pain- whereas Giuseppe is pacifist because hes a god of wisdom nd prefers to take things with a lighter approach. The complete opposites of those two are Allure and Aaliyah, theyre both aiming for any type of genocidal route because of what they went through for both the lamb and goat genocides occuring in different worlds of theirs ,, giuseppe doesnt rlly like crusading with allure for that reason 😭 even though aaliyah is Much worse since shes a god of war- its just the way that bloodthirst makes giuseppe incredibly uncomfortable,, to see such a shy lamb act the opposite on their crusades is Lowkey what terrifies him lmao-
Herrmm ,, heket and kallamar are pretty similiar in the stances of not rlly gaf-ing about fighting and crusades ,, heket is good at stealth and kallamar just aims right for the target because shi's just Impatient-
Okay thats all the yapping i have left in me fur now i also have these to share
The only decency here is giuseppe lmaooo 😭🙏
Oh one last thing is heights :-3
(Shamura is 4'7, Ram is 5'1, Lamb is 5'5, Narinder is 6'0, Goat is 6'1, Kallamar is 6'3, Heket is 6'6, and Leshy is 7'2 ,, Idk why i put sozo there but maybe bc its fur my own reference)
#sydneys doodles#cotl#cult of the lamb#mystic pursuit#regretful war & regretful wisdom#Teehee lyndwyrm leshy is Real#Ive had this in drafts fur like two days so idk if what i wrote down below the cut made any sense . Or even above 🗿#I also have alternative outfits but maybe ill put them all in a separate post one day-#if it wasnt obvious the color black is a consistent color in their clothes !! However kallamar is built different and#shi refuses 2 wear anything dark 😔 in spite of allure anyways-#narinder#lamb#the lamb#goat#the goat#the ram#ram#shamura#kallamar#heket#leshy
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i think two things can be true at once so when i say i think rick didn't plan on piper being queer until years after she was introduced and until he saw years worth of fan reception and reactions + i think piper being queer is amazing and makes complete sense for her character arc and explains a lot about the way she has acted in the books starting as early as TLH, i do not see them as contradictory or wrong.
#the way he wrote jiper made it seem like he was fully convinced they were good at the time#and were destined to be together#but he changed his mind and continued their story differently#in a way that was still compelling and good#which is great! i love that#and its hard to change something like that and still make it good#and i think he managed to make it better#so this is more praise than criticism#pjo#heroes of olympus#hoo#percy jackon and the olympians#jason grace#piper mclean#also another thought that i dont think makes any of this contradictory#i love how he portrayed piper's confusion surrounding her orientation#especially as a cishet man#it's surprisingly relatable and greatly written#even if jason wasnt meant to be piper questioning at first#he built upon her previous relationship with jason so well#in a way that made her discovering she likes women so relatable#anyways!
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vivisectianne art i drew with my trackpad a couple weeks ago yayyy. i hate drawing with trackpad why did i do that to myself when my wacom was literally within reach lmao
#well. i guess its not TECHNICALLY Vivisectianne AU™#since she a) wasnt on an actual operating table there and b) was restrained with roboarms instead of built-in cuff thingies but. whatever#vivisectianne au#<- tagging it anyways#gore tw#blood tw#uhhh im giving this more warning tags than usual. Just in case#organs tw#guts tw#vivisection tw#torture tw#yeah thats probably good enough#my art#amphibia#anne boonchuy
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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