#that sixer was going to come back (he needs to come back) because they all love him (sixer loves him doesnt he?)

[senipsenipsenip]

Eventually, the scrapbook ended. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon hours ago, and some nagging part of Stan's brain was telling him kids shouldn't be up this late. Unless they're breaking into a mini golf course. He jerked his head back, furrowing his brow. That was...oddly specific.

"Grunkle Stan?" a little voice - Mabel - questioned. He looked down at his knee to see where his great-niece was sitting, eyeing him with no small degree of concern. "Are you okay?"

He ruffled her hair. "'Course, Pumpkin. Just trying to shake some of those memories back in the right place, huh?" He gave an exaggerated shake of his head, smacking the side like he was trying to get water out his ears. "Got a straggler! Hup! There we go," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Good as new!"

Whatever he said must have been the right thing, because Mabel's eyes had lit up like he'd told her he was turning the Mystery Shack into a cotton candy emporium and Dipper had a sudden death grip on his other leg.

"Geez kid, you're clawing through my pants here," he grumbled, making no move to take away his nephew's hand. "Haven't you chewed your nails off by now? How're they so sharp?"

"You called me Pumpkin," Mabel whispered.

"You remembered I chew my nails," Dipper said in awe. Then he frowned. "Hey, how come Mabel gets a nice one and I get a gross one."

Stan shrugged. "'Cause she's nice, and you're gross."

"Ha! Zoom!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air before collapsing back into Stan's lap in a fit of giggles. Dipper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he settled back against Stan's other side. Ford stayed perched on the arm of the chair, smiling fondly, but eyebrows still drawn together.

"What's the matter, Sixer?" Stan frowned as Ford grimaced at the nickname. "What?"

Ford waved off Stan's concern. "It's nothing. It's..." Ford sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not nothing. I just don't want to..." He pursed his lips.

"Don't leave us hanging." There was a shake in Stan's voice, and Mabel shifted closer to her Grunkle.

"I'm glad this has been helpful to you," Ford muttered. "But...you don't remember everything. Not really."

"Whaddya mean?" Stan asked. "I remember you, the kids, Soos. The freeloading jerk who steals my sandwiches." Stan glared at Waddles who simply oinked and started trying to eat his shoelace. Whatever. Free pass for jump starting his memories. He better not get used to it.

Dipper sat up. "Yeah, what do you mean, Great Uncle Ford?"

Ford frowned. "I just... Hm." He seemed to be weighing something in his mind before turning to Stan with some resolve.

"Stanley," he began slowly. "I hope you appreciate what I'm about to do for you."

"That's not terrifyingly ominous," Stan muttered, glancing around at the available exits.

"Do you remember my - " Ford cleared his throat. "My first kiss?"

Stan froze. "What?"

"My first kiss, do you remember it?"

"I was there?"

"Yes. Unfortunately a lot of people were."

Mabel squealed beside Stan. "Ooo! Romance memories! How old were you? Was it high school? Was it a high school romance? Was it star-crossed love between the nerd and the cheerleader?"

"Mabel, I think Grunkle Stan is supposed to figure that stuff out."

Mabel sat up and stared at Stan expectantly. "Come on Grunkle Stan! I need details!"

Stan shook his head, nose wrinkling like he'd smelled something rotting. "How should I know? Who asks their brother that sort of thing?"

"Precisely." Ford spoke with the same air of professionalism he adopted when explaining his theories, despite the alarming shade of red his face was becoming. "So far it seems that your memories are returning based on external stimuli, whether that be Mabel's scrapbook or our own prompting."

"So, wait, you're saying I won't get all my memories back?"

"No! No that's not what I'm saying," Ford held up his hands. "What I'm saying is we can't expect them all to come back at once. And at the risk of turning the Shack into the set of the Johnny Carson show, we'll keep asking you questions."

Stan frowned. "What if I don't wanna remember my brother smooching some babe?"

Ford turned redder. "You do."

"I do? Geez, I was a perv."

"In the meantime," Ford pressed. "It's important to take note of any stimulus you experience that makes you remember something. Even if it doesn't paint the whole picture for you, we can fill in the blanks. Or prompt you to remember more details."

Dipper grinned. "And then we get to learn more about the secrets you've been hiding, old man."

Stan lifted his hand to give Dipper a well-earned noogie, but paused before he could make contact. "Old man...did you...did you tell me to shut up one time and then punched me?"

Dipper balked. "What? No I - "

"YEAH no WAY that'd be CRAZY!" Mabel interjected a bit too loudly. "Anyway let's get back to that kissing story, huh?"

"Actually Mabel, I don't know if I want to hear about Great Uncle Ford kissing anybody either."

"Oh come on, Dipper. Are you jealous that The Author got someone to kiss him and you didn't?"

"What? No!"

"Some girls like nerds."

"Mabel I don't want to think about anybody in this room kissing anybody."

"You could learn from him Dipper! Figure out how to wield your nerdish charms. Soon you'll be like a kissing machine!"

"MABEL -"

The twins were silenced by a sudden gasp from Stan. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his jaw hanging open as if someone had knocked the wind out of him.

"Holy - " he choked out softly.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper sat up fully. "Are you okay?"

Stan didn't acknowledge him, eyes darting around minutely.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked softly. "Did you remember something?" Moisture had begun to gather in the corners of Stan's eyes, one of his hands covering his mouth as he began to shake.

"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper turned to Ford, worry stitching his brows together. But Ford didn't look worried. If anything, he looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor. His face was an alarming shade of red, nearly identical to his sweater. Stan let out another choked sound.

"Are you..." Mabel trailed off. "Grunkle Stan are you laughing?" He was quaking now, his hand falling from his mouth to reveal a wide, open-mouthed smile. He began slapping the arm rest with his free hand, eyes squeezed shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. Dipper and Mabel shared a look. Sure, they'd seen Stan laugh before, but it was usually a loud guffawing thing. They'd never seen him like this. They shared a tentative smile. Either this was the hardest they'd seen him laugh, or he had really snapped.

Ford seemed to pick up on their worry. "He's fine," Ford offered. "He's just...remembering my first kiss." At Ford's words, Stan let out a loud cackle, burying his face in his hands.

Mabel cocked her head. "But what's so funny about -"

"You children must be exhausted," Ford blurted out, standing abruptly. "Come now, go wash up then head to bed!"

"Oh no you don't!" Stan shouted. He wiped tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You're not getting out of this one, pal!"

"Stanley, this conversation is hardly appropriate for children -"

"You brought it up!"

"And now I'm putting a stop to it."

Stan grabbed his head. "Ooooo ow," he gave an exaggerated groan. "My poor head. The mean man won't let me share my memories so they're all going away!"

"Stanley, please don't joke about that."

"I'm fading away - "

"Stanley."

Stan crossed his arms. "You know, you really know how to take the fun out of amnesia."

"Yeah! Come on Grunkle Ford," Mabel pouted. "You can't just leave us hanging!"

"Yeah!" Dipper joined in. "If it's a funny story I want to hear it."

Ford spluttered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater and looking around for an exit.

"Come on, Sixer," Stan chimed in. His eyes had gone soft around the edges. "I think the kids deserve a funny story."

After today went unspoken. Ford met Stanley's gaze, already feeling his resolve melting before he even turned to his grand-niece and nephew's inquisitive smiles.

"Alright," Ford conceded. "But to maintain the integrity of the exercise, Stanley will be the one to tell it. Whatever he doesn't remember, I can fill in."

Stan rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, this'll be good."

"I regret this already."

"It's alright Great Uncle Ford," Dipper patted his shoulder. "We have a whole summer's worth of stuff we get to make fun of Grunkle Stan for. This just gives us stuff to use against you now. Levels the playing field."

Ford frowned. "Is that meant to be comforting?"

Dipper shrugged.

"Alright you two, enough yapping." Stan grinned, leaning forward in his seat and spreading his hands out in front of him. It was the same way he started his campfire tales. Mabel and Dipper met each other's eyes and smiled.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Kiss-Bot..."

[clock-06]

There’s this idea of a dynamic for BillFord that’s been causing havoc in my skull and begs for escape, so it’s gonna get to today.

Basically Ford is more self aware and catches onto the fact that Bill has fallen for him, and starts manipulating him back for his own goals. Cause Ford was already a mad scientist, there’s a reason Bill thought Ford would join him in weirdmaggedon (go re-read the Rudolph thing, he’s pretty unhinged)

Ford was nerdy as hell, and definitely took a psych class in college, and starts using operant conditioning on Bill. While Bill does have feelings for Ford, he still sees him as lesser, because he’s Human, and figures Sixer doesn’t have the capacity to manipulate or disobey him, and by the point it’s an active plan, Ford has conditioned him enough to not even check.

It’s a slow start, but Ford figures out that Bill is more willing to do things for him when he’s given rewards for it, ie, calling him “Muse” tends to make him put more effort into things, he has favorite sweaters that Ford wears and Bill will be more attentive to what Ford wants or needs when he’s wearing them. Eventually, Ford starts using these as rewards when Bill is forwarding Ford’s goals instead of his own, and very soon has a personal and trained dream demon.

By the time the Portal is fully built and operational, Bill has basically told the Henchmaniacs “Hey, we’ll do that apocalypse thing after IQ and I have a little research trip across a few dimensions, I’ve got to make sure he stays safe cause he’s my ticket to the portal” and they’re all like “excuse me fucking what no just kill him” and after the first few protesting comments end with the utterer in dust, the rest of the gang just shuts up, most of whom vow to get Sixer killed while he and Bill are traveling together.

Because everything’s going according to plan, Stanley isn’t called to the Shack to hide the journals, but rather to protect the shack and journals while Ford is traveling. It’s a very confusing letter, and by the time Stan determines that it’s actually real, he barely gets there in time to watch his brother disappear through the portal before it autolocks and shuts down. He still starts up the Mystery Shack because he feels weird about the money Ford left him, unsure if it’s actually real, and needs a way of income. The twins still do come to visit for the summer, and Stanley still legally becomes Stanford as a cover story, but it’s not a car crash this time because Ford left behind an intricate plan for how to erase him without leaving any trace and Stan goes “well I’m wanted for a lot of crimes, I’ll just use this for myself.”

There is more Bill memorabilia around the house because Ford wants to be able to keep an eye on what Stan is doing, and Dipper does find the third Journal, hidden in the floorboards beneath his bed, and the pages on bill contain a detailed account of his powers as well as invisible ink containing the plans for Weirdmaggedon that Ford knows Bill has. This leads to Dipper fucking hyperventilating and trying to warn them all about Bill, which is very awkward when he comes back through the portal, lying contentedly in Ford’s fluffy hair.

TLDR: Ford realizes two can play the manipulation game and plays with Bill’s feelings for his own benefit, and Stan gets the shack because Ford goes through the portal to keep researching and writing his journals with an overpowered dream demon happily pressed under his heel

[fangirlingpuggle]

hey in the ford-thinks-dipper-and-mabel-are-his-kids-with-bill au how does weirdmageddon happen? cause no way ford ONLY asks dipper to stay cause he thinks they're both his kids. like does he get a reality check an realize hey,they're leaving at the end of the summer, panics cause if he thinks the twins parents are implanted memories to explain why bill put them here then *where are they going back to*, tells them both to stay and then mabel runs off because shes already freaking out about needing to grow up and visiting gravity falls for the summer is great but living there full time, effectively moving out of her parents house forever is just. WAY too much WAY too fast and WAY too grown up for her? or if you already had an idea cause you had that post about weirdmageddon and the bubbles id love to hear that!! like for reals it would be SICK to see what you came up with

Hi there, I really like that idea. I think things are more chaotic cause Ford wants Stan to give him house and life back but also wants his kids here and Stan still sees kids as his only family (And still thinks Ford is being crazy 'Sixer you can't keep these kids here they aren't your')

I think maybe the kids overhear that Ford thinks they're his and Bills kids or at least Mabel does and her confusion as she hears For justify everything about Dipper birthmark, the fact all the weirdness since the twins came here, that they find this stuff so easily even found the journal right away, the fact they had never met Stan before and they were sent across the country to stay with him all summer how they're 'parents' hadn't contact checked in on them ect.

Mabel... is super confused is Grunkle ford right? Id he there dad? Is Bill there are other dad? Are they human? What are they? Are their parents not their parents? Is that why they're fighting and getting divorced because they were never in love and together it was all an illusion? We're her 'parents' even married or together or just two people Bill used for this illusion/scheme.

She's scared to go back, scared to stay, scared about wheat happens next even more so then before as she doesn't even know whats real anymore. When Bill comes disguised as Blendin it's not endless Summer he's saying he can use rift to show exactly what happened what they are what's true.

Mabel's bubble is kinda similar but she doesn't know what happening outside she just thinks she dreaming just asleep just a lucid dream. (And Bill is slowly leaking powers into her) Dipper is with Ford and Bill lets him run off (After all he knows he'll play hero and go 'save' Mabel) Dipper goes in Wendy doesn't she's knocked out and then 2 bubbles, Dipper thinking he's saving Mabel.

Bill is manipulating Ford and totally agreeing 'Yep our kids' and is trying to get Ford to agree so one happy family.

The thing is the kids are getting powers in bubbles and are able to connect though mindscape, realize they're both trapped and bust out Mabel explaining what she heard and Dipper is shocked.

They find Grunkle Stan and the others and start explaining... Stan is facepalming 'Oh god damn it you kids believe that now to??' HOW AM I THE ONLY RATIONAL ONE IN THIS FAMILY?

[thegrimreaper-probably]

Feed me

Gravity Falls x monster reader (plant)

Headcanon/drabble

Ford originally found you when he first came to town

He was walking around the town, when he noticed you.

Bought you right away, I mean definitely isn’t a plant person but something told him he needed that plant

You “died” after a week of him trying everything to keep you alive. While he was distracted by Bill, he cut his hand.

To which you drunk and brightened up. (You now have a taste for his blood and will scream/play dead till he gives in and lets you have some from his hand)

When he writes in his journal he definitely mumbles, which you picked up, and rather fast you learned how to talk

Scared the shit out of him (Bill saw the whole thing and thought it was hilarious)

Your first words were “Feed me.”

Bill laughed, Ford was confused/amazed

FiddleFord is scared of you and refuses to be near you.

You have tried to eat him, to which Ford put you in a ‘time out’ (he moved your pot out of the sun, with you facing a corner)

Bill placed you back and now randomly teleports you near FiddleFord

Once the whole portal opening happened you were left with Stan

Which is when he fed you twice more to get you big, in his eyes a giant plant monster = money

Learned the hard way why you were on a strict diet (you ate a person and a small yappy white dog)

You’re moved from the mystery shack to the living room

Once Dipper and Mabel come around you are then placed in the shed, he was not risking you eating those two

You loved the shed, plenty of small rodents to eat

Once Bill is summoned again he takes you.

Why? He still butt hurt about sixer (it’s either one of those situations where the ex takes the pet or he secretly thinks of you as his and Ford’s kid. Custody battle)

Stan freaks out because he just goes to the shed to feed you and you’re gone.

Bill gets rid of your diet, you are strictly feed humans, henchmen, and time agents (only the finest)

When Ford comes back, finds out about you missing he beats Stan up again

Once weirdmageddon happens you are then placed next to the throne made out of golden humans

Bill does let you outside and eat humans once he’s done with his throne of people

Ford thinks Bill took you for some greater purpose bullshit

Once the twins win, Ford hits you with the shrink ray

You’re back to baby size :( but upside Ford has made a fake blood formula(it’s not good at all and you’ve gone back to just nipping at him for blood, did make a new formula till you liked it)

Mabel decorates your pot with stickers and made a sweater. Says ‘Oopsie daisy’

Dipper just talks to Ford about you since he doesn’t really want to trust a human eating plant

Soos gave you some beef jerky (you spit it back at him)

Waddles’ screams at you, and that goat outside has tried to eat you multiple times (not that you haven’t tried to eat the goat as well…totally)

There’s a part 2, 3 (actual story) if you want a headcanon there is a second one, just click the tags or go to profile

[sharksfrommars]

woah, what’s this? Part 3 of Dad Stan?

Part 1 | part 2 | part 4

it’s what you all been waiting for. I’m honestly shocked at how much people like it? I’m not a very good writer, technically speaking, but I try my best. But seriously, thank you. The response to this has been CRAZY.

anyway, im so sorry for what your about to read. Please direct all your death threats to my inbox (/j don’t sent actual death threats obvs)

Stan and his small child hang out with a slightly deranged man

“YOU CAN’T TRICK ME, BILL!” Ford yelled. This definitely wasn’t what Stan was expecting. He held Lola close and took a deep breath.

“Look, Ford, I think you need help”

“HELP DESTROYING THE UNIVERSE! You WOULD say that, Bill, that is SO like you. And the NERVE to show up as my BROTHER? He had NOTHING to do with this. And NOTHING you do can convince me to open the poRTAL!” 

Ford got incredibly close to Stan’s face. Stan was glad that he had forgotten about the crossbow. He was less glad that Ford seemed a bit unstable and deranged. Drugs really seemed like it was the only explanation. Stan felt Lola let go of his leg as Ford continued rant and rave utter nonsense directly into Stan’s face.

Then Ford stopped. He looked into Stan’s eyes for a long while. Stan looked back, taking note of each scarlet blood vessel that stained the whites of his brother’s eyes. Something in Ford’s gaze softened and he backed off.

“You’re not Bill” he stated. “You’re Stanley”

Stan scoffed. “Yeah, pointdexter. I coulda told you that, if ya hadn’t shoved a crossbow in my face.”

Ford blinked. He scratched his bandaged hand, blood leaking through the gauze. Stan looked at it, concerned.

“Look, Sixer-“

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Ford yelled, slapping Stan.

Suddenly, Lola got between them, crossbow in hand, pointed at Stanford.

“DON’T TOUCH MY DAD!” She yelled, as she struggled to hold up the crossbow. It was half her size. Stan held in a giggle. It was kind of cute, really. It reminded Stan of last year, when he taught Lola gun safety and how to shoot ‘just in case’. Except the crossbow was much heavier.

Ford stared, like a deer in headlights. Lola’s legs shook.

“Step away from Stan, or I’ll shoot ya!” She said, a slight quaver in her voice. Ford looked to Stan.

“You bought a little girl?” Ford questioned. Stan sighed, placing his hand on Lola’s head.

“Put the crossbow down, sweetie”

“But Stan! He’s going to hurt you!”

Stan looked up at Ford with an unimpressed glare.

“Well let’s ask him.” He said, “Ford. Are ya gonna hurt me, or is Lola gonna have to stick a crossbow in your privates?”

Ford stared like a startled fox, before shaking his head.

“No. No im not going to hurt you, Stanley.” 

Stan smiled.

“See, Lola! No need to worry.”

Lola carefully put the crossbow on the ground, and pulled on Stan’s sleeve. Stan picked her up.

“So, Ford. Ya gonna let us inside?”

Ford slowly nodded. “Yes… of course, come in.”

“NO!” Lola screamed. 

“Gee, kid, ya tryna deafen me?”

Lola grabbed Stan’s face and very seriously stared him down.

“We need to get Lizard.”

“Lizard?” Ford asked, “you bought a lizard? From where?”

But Stan wasn’t listening, because he knew this gambit. 

The town they lived in before Forks, they had to leave because Rico’s boys had found Stan. They had caught Stan and Lola trying to escape town, and had tied Stan up in a shady warehouse. Lola was only 3, and was obviously terrified. But she was smart, smarter than Stan would have been at her age. She started screaming for Lizard, to the point where Rico’s boys were getting annoyed. Once Stan explained that Lizard was her toy that she left in the car, they took her to grab lizard. Whilst at the car though, she picked up Stan’s gun, the one he left in the glovebox, and his switchblade. 

Stan still had no idea how she came up with it. Didn’t know whether it was on impulse on her part, or an intentional plan. But thanks to her quick thinking, they got out of there unscathed.

Since then, Lola always left Lizard in the car when they went somewhere new. And if she felt unsafe, she would go back to get him, and whatever else she figured she’d need, usually dragging Stan with her.

 It meant she thought Stan should bring his gun.

Lola really didn’t trust Stanford. Honestly, Stan could understand why. He did just threaten them with a crossbow. He seemed out of it. He didn’t want to go into his brother’s house gun’s blazing. He could feel Lola shaking in his arms. He knew she was putting up a brave face.

“Alright, sweetheart.” Stan said, before turning to Ford. “Sorry, Ford, we just gotta get Lola’s favourite toy from the car. We’ll be back in a minute”

Stan sat Lola in the back seat. She was clutching Lizard close as Stan stuck his handgun into his waistband, hidden by his jacket.

“Ya okay, kid?” He asked.

Lola mumbled into Lizard. She had tears in her eyes.

“Sorry, Lola. Didn’t catch that.”

Lola looked up at Stan with wide wet eyes.

“I want to go home” she weeped, “it’s scary. I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

Stan gave her a hug, and kissed the top of her head.

“I know, baby. Its alright”

“C-can we go home, Stan”

“Not yet, kid. I’m gonna need ya to be brave, just for a little while, Okay?”

She sobbed into Stan’s shoulder. 

“Stan, I had a bad dream. That you were gonna go away…”

Stan held her tighter.

“I ain’t going anywhere, kid. I’m sticking with ya for as long as you want.”

It took a while for Lola to calm down, and when they returned to the house, they saw Ford sitting on the doorstep with his head in his hands. He looked like he’d hit Rock bottom. Once Ford saw Stan and Lola coming, he quickly stood up, wiping ‘dirt’ off his shirt. Unfortunately, Ford’s hand was bleeding, so he ended up spreading blood all down his front. He didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry for my hospitality, I’m a little …on edge” Ford said.

“Gee, really?”

“Now Stanley, do you want to introduce me to your daughter?”

“She ain’t my daughter.”

“But she called you-“

Lola interrupted Ford by blowing a raspberry as he tried to speak.

“Lola.” Stan said, “do you want to introduce yourself?”

Lola shook her head vehemently. “Lizard says he’s stinky.”

“Alright.” Said Stan. “You don’t have to”

He looked at Ford. “We gotta talk. And not in the snow.”

So Ford led Stan inside. Ford’s house was a mess. All sorts of weird science gizmos were spread all over the place, and there were masses of notes on every surface. It was unreasonably cold and dark inside, and it had an unsettling combination of odours. Ozone and mould, blood and sweat. Burning hair, strange chemicals, rotting meat. It was nasty.

“Lizard was right. You ARE stinky” Lola said. Stan was still carrying her, and she was still clutching onto lizard. Stan laughed.

“Seriously, pointdexter. Do you ever clean?”

Ford turned around, and gave the two of them a haunting glare, and started to cry blood out of his right eye.

“I haven’t really had the time…”

“Woah, Ford. You need medical attention. We gotta get ya to a hospital-“

“NO!”

Stan hasn’t realised he was reaching out with his free hand until Ford slapped away. Stan got a serious look on his face, and he readjusted his hold on Lola. She had buried her head in lizard again.

“Ford, what’s going on.”

Ford fiddled with his hands, and looked around erratically.

“Ford, please, let me help you.”

Ford seemed to collapse into himself, and glared suspiciously.

“What are you doing here, Stanley?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? You called ME! You think I was gonna let ya just jump into a frozen lake and die?”

“What… that was real?”  Ford looked dazed.

“Was that- YES FORD IT WAS REAL. Real and SCARY! I started driving AS SOON AS YOU CALLED, hoping that you hadn’t done something STUPID.”

“Oh”

Ford collapsed with his head in his hands. “You should have just ignored it, Stanley.”

Stan sat down next to Ford. “And let my favourite brother die? As if”

Lola squirmed in Stan’s arms, so he put her down. She stood at Stan’s side and pointed accusingly to Ford.

“Why are you mean on the phone?” She asked 

“I wanna know that too. Ya gave Lola a right scare. How did you know that stuff about her?” said Stan.

Ford seemed to consider something, before standing up suddenly.

“Alright. I’ve got to show you something.”

Lola clung to Stan’s back as Ford lead them past a sci-fi looking door and down a long flight of stairs. Ford was spouting nonsense about how he had doomed the world. Stan didn’t really get what this had to do with the fact he that Ford was clearly sick and bleeding. 

“So who’s the Bill guy?” Stan asked.

“He’s… not important. It doesn’t matter. I have to destroy the portal.”

“Portal?” Asked Stan.

Just then, doors opened revealing a massive triangular machine, that whirred and buzzed with power. Stan stood, mouth agape. Lola screamed, and started crying.

“STAN!” She cried, “we need to go home NOW. It gonna eat you!”

Stan bought Lola to his front, comforting her.

“I told ya, lo. I ain’t going anywhere. That machine ain’t gonna hurt us.” He said.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Stanley.” Ford said, a grave look on his face, “this is a trans dimensional gateway, my greatest creation, and my biggest mistake.”

“A what now?”

“It’s a doorway to hell…” whispered Lola.

Concern grew on Ford’s face. “Stanley, how does the child know about the portal?”

He was starting to look panicked. Lola had started crying again. Stan looked between them.

“Stanley, what does the child know?” Ford said, inching closer. Lola pulled away, jumping from Stan’s arms and running. She found a corner to hide in, clutching Lizard tight. Ford made to follow, but Stan stopped him.

“Ford, you’re scaring her.”

“I’m not going to hurt her, I just need to check her eyes”

“No you don’t. What’s going on.”

“Yes I do, Stanley, the fate of the world is at stake! If I’ve let Him in here, then it’s over for ALL of us.”

Ford was getting agitated, as he stormed to where Lola was hiding. Lola screamed, so Stan shoved him.

“Ford, leave her alone! Just tell me what’s going on!”

“IVE RUINED EVERYTHING” Ford cried. There was a crazy look in his eyes, all paranoia and edge.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I can’t sleep, Stanley! If I do, He gets what He wants. I can’t do that!”

Stan has one explanation, one thing that made any sense at all.

“Ford, what have you been taking”, he said, placing his hands on Ford’s shoulders.

“What? What are you talking about?” Ford said, shoving Stan’s off of him. “You, you think I’m doing drugs?” 

“Look, Ford, there’s no shame in -“

Ford shoved Stan. “Are you insane? Why would you think I’m on drugs? I’m not some…some…”

“Some what? What do you want me to think, Ford? Ya haven’t said a single thing that’s made a lick of sense. You CALLED me and you don’t even remember!”

“It WASN’T ME THAT CALLED YOU”

“OH REALLY? THAN WHO WAS IT? BECAUSE IT SURE SOUNDED LIKE YOU.”

“WHY WOULD I CALL YOU?? WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY NEED YOUR HELP FOR?”

“I drove here for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT. Through a SNOWSTORM. Because YOU CALLED ME saying you were going to COMMIT SUICIDE. I came here to HELP YOU cus you sounded like you needed it.”

“I never ASKED YOU TO COME”

Stan and Ford were in each other’s faces now, red with anger. Stan felt tears sting his eyes.

“No, you didn’t. Cause you ‘Never loved me’, that right? You just wanted me to know that?  I looked put for you our ENTIRE LIVES and you think I’m just a waste of space.”

“You didn’t look out for me when you BROKE MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT”

“Sweet Moses you’re STILL ON THAT? Newsflash Sixer, ya had a good life anyway. Ya got a fancy house and fancy degree, and enough college money to build a FUCKING TRIANGLE.”

Ford saw red, he shoved Stan, right into red hot metal. Stan screamed, and Lola ran up to him.

“STAN!” She cried as she went to him. Ford went to help Stan too, but Lola bit him.

“GO AWAY” she yelled, as she reached for Stan’s gun. She pointed it at Ford, who immediately put his hands up.

“Ok… ok… I’m stepping away” Ford said, slowly walking backwards. Stan started to get up.

“Put the gun down, Lola. He’s not gonna hurt anyone” Stan said.

“He already hurted you” she cried, dropping the gun 

“I know, baby. I know. This was a bad idea. Let’s go home”

“Stanley, stay” said Ford, “at least let me tend to your wound”

“Don’t fucking speak to me, Stanford.” Said Stan as he carried Lola back up the stairs. He heard Ford sob as he left, but he didn’t have it in him to care. He was tired, and this whole thing was stupid. It was stupid that Stan actually thought that Ford would take his help, and it was even more stupid to think Ford cared about him at all. That call should have made that obvious.

As they trekked up the stairs, Stan was quiet. He felt empty, like something was missing. He’d lost Ford before, a lot, but this time felt real. It felt like the end.

Then, Lola gasped, struggling out of Stan’s arms. “I left Lizard!” She cried, running down the stairs. Stan chased after her.

“Lola wait” he cried as she rushed off. “LOLA”

He chased after her, but she was quick. She got to the bottom before him. And he heard her scream, followed by a creepy, psychotic laugh.

Lola was clutching Lizard, as ‘Ford’ approached her. It was like her nightmare, with those terrifying yellow eyes and a laugh that came straight from hell. CNN

“I GOTTA HAND IT TO YA, KID. YOU SURE GOT GUTS COMING BACK DOWN HERE!”

He’s holding Stan’s gun, stumbling towards her like a Zombie.

“Ya know. I shoulda known that frilly bastard would be watching. They tried once. Bet they didn’t expect it to backfire so SPECTACULARLY.”

Ford’s face was grinning horrifically wide. Lola couldn’t move, it was all she could do to stay standing. Ford’s inhuman eyes were locked on the axolotl plush’s deeply looking face

“Hope you’re happy, Axy! I’m getting EVERYTHING I WA-“

Stan burst in with a punch. A shot rang out through Stan’s shoulder.

“STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, YOU PSYCHOPATHIC SON OF A BITCH!” He yelled, his shoulder burning and bleeding. He tried to wrestle the gun out of Ford’s hands. Ford laughed.

“OOO SPARE PARTS IS BACK TOO? SIXER’S GONNA LOVE IT WHEN I STRING YOU UP BY YOUR INTESTINES AND HANG YOU IN HIS ROOM!”

“Shut the fuck up, Ford!” 

They knocked a lever, Ford’s body on the ground. Stan punched Ford, breaking his glasses.

“HAJHAHAHAHA!” Ford laughed, “SIXER TRIED SO HARD TO STOP ME, BUT THEN HE JUST HANDED IT TO ME. I GUESS ITS TIME FOR ME TO MAKE MY GRAND ENTRANCE”

And with that Ford fell limp. Stan didn’t notice, not until Ford pushed him off.

“Stanley stop! I’m sorry! That wasn’t-“

Ford pushed Stan off of him, but he didn’t fall back. He floated. Lola was crying, and Stan tried to reach for her.

“Ford! What’s going on!”

Ford tried to reach, he really did. But the world went silent and slow, and nothing Ford tried would reach him. He saw Lola run towards the portal. Ford stopped her, as she shook and bit and screamed. He saw the look in Stan’s eyes. He was scared. Ford cursed himself, cursed Stanley, cursed Bill and cursed the entire goddamn world. Stan’s eyes met Ford’s, full of disappointment and betrayal and maybe some understanding. He knew he was going to die. He turned to Lola.

“Lola, I love you.” He said, his body bathed in sickeningly blue light. 

“DADDY NO! COME BACK” Lola wailed. But the portal was sputtering closed now. It collapsed on itself. Leaving Stan stranded 

Ford could only stare, as Lola pleaded to the portal, made infinite promises. She was only little, she didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand. But she could blame.

Lola stood up, once it became clear that there was no bringing Stan back. She stared Ford down, with as much rage as she could hold.

“I HATE YOU!” She screamed. And she ran out of the basement, out of the house, into the blizzard outside.

Ford knew he had to make it up to Stan. If Stan was even alive in there. But still, it took him a moment too long to go looking for her

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: What Did You Do? Ch. 3

Summary: "Sixer... what did you do?"

“Nine Lives Lee”, a rare Stanley Pines who ended up on the other side of the portal instead of his brother, literally falls into “The Better World”, the dimension that many versions of Stanford Pines tend to be jealous of and hold over Lee’s head as ‘proof’ that everyone would have been better off if he’d just done what his brother asked him.

The Ford of this dimension, however, isn’t quite what he seems. And neither is his version of Stanley.

Rating: T+  

Warnings:  Language, violence, medical related gore, and mentions of graphic violence. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here.

Disclaimer: Reverse Portal Stan "Nine Lives Lee" is owned by @urdadsceilingfan  

This version of the Better World AU is owned by @mother-ofthe-universe

First - Previous - Next

Ch.3

The Stanley of Dimension-GB1100, designation supposedly Stan-GB1100.

This kid was him? The Stanley Pines of this dimension?

The same Stanley who, by all reports, took Ford-GB1100’s journal away… Thirty years ago? And, assuming this Ford is mid-50s just like Lee, he should have been in his mid-to-late twenties in the early 80s?

Meanwhile, this kid didn’t look old enough to buy a pack of cigarettes… or lie about his age to buy a pack of cigarettes, like Lee did when he was a teenager (and never succeeded because of the baby face he sported until he was twenty).

But Ford said this was his brother, that he’d been frozen since childhood, and as ridiculous that explanation was for several reasons, he said it with his whole chest. With conviction. And what Lee knew about the Fordverse was that they break their convictions as often as they let go of grudges.

 Which is never.

He could call bull right now but…

The kid sure seemed to buy that malarkey. And Lee didn’t need to freak out some kid by shaking the foundations of what he ‘knew’. 

“So this is another you, Sixer? How come you don’t look that cool?” Stan said to Ford, clearly just teasing him. Although Ford did not look amused, he kept glancing between Lee and Stan, still keeping himself in front of his brother as though he was a protective barrier between them.

Lee can play along for now.

“Actually,” Lee said to the teen with a small, albeit wolfish smile “I’m you. Guess I’m one of the lucky ones who didn’t get put on ice.” 

“What? No way!” Stan gasped in response, making his crutches click against the ground as he slapped his own hand over his mouth, eyes wide. “So I become a cyborg in the future?”

“Of course not!” Ford immediately chided before Lee could respond “This is an alternate version of you, he isn’t from the future. And,” he glared at Lee, who was immediately reminded of an angry, wet cat “he should be in the holding area.”

Lee crossed his arms, his prosthetic clinked slightly against his gold chain and Space President's Key hanging over his chest, but his shirt dampened any sound “Ya mean your interrogation room? Course I left; ya didn’t even give me a phone call, or a lawyer.”

“You weren’t arrested, Lee, you were being quarantined. Speaking of which, you can either return willingly, or I can call security.”

‘Bold words for someone in blaster range’ Lee automatically thought, but chose to keep to himself. He gave up to security willingly before, being too curious for his own good when this Ford started behaving strangely after their brief tussle in the basement. Lee could’ve fought them off, easily, but something about the general state of this Ford compelled him to do what he usually doesn’t do, and comply.

A weakness the Fordverse has observed and used against Lee before, knowing he’ll usually hesitate to hurt any of them… Only for them to learn a bit too late, that hesitation does not equal refusal or inability.

“Go back to your room, Stanley, matters like this aren’t safe for you.” Ford told his charge, who looked at him like a kicked puppy. “Besides, we’ve already told you what happens when you make contact with an alternate self.”

But Lee knew this boy wasn’t an alternate self. There was one way to prove it, but it was risky.

‘99% of gamblers give up before they make it big.’ Lee thought, as he silently walked over, Ford was too distracted by his ‘brother’ to notice.

“I think he’ll be just fine.” Lee said, making Ford almost jump at how close he suddenly was. Before he could get a response, Lee reached over to ruffle the kids hair with his left hand, the organic one.

Looks like Lee was in that 1% of gamblers, just as he predicted, because his hand twined right into the kid's hair and against his scalp, but the dimension did not start collapsing into static. This kid was someone else, all right.

If he wasn’t Stanley Pines, twin brother of Stanford Pines, who was he really?

“What do you think you’re doing?!”Ford sputtered in horror and shoved Lee away as hard as he could - Lee could have stayed in place if he wanted, but he let Ford take this one. Lee raised both hands innocently in front of himself as Stan blinked at him in confusion, before looking at Ford without saying anything, but the question was clear on his face.

“Don’t worry, Ford” Lee gruffed, a small smirk that didn't reach his eyes presented itself “I can make contact with my alts. The portal fluid I use distorts my dimensional freq.” It was a lie, a blatant lie that he stole from Rick Sanchez and all of his variants. But he got through half of his life by lying, and the other half through stealing, so he said it with the same casual confidence of giving a standard greeting.

Ford didn’t seem taken aback - of course he wouldn’t, because he must have known that physical contact between Lee and Stan wouldn’t cause a crash-out. However, he was definitely still angry, forcefully shoving his index finger against Lee’s chest.

“Stanley is immunocompromised, who knows what type of pathogens you could pass onto him!” Ford practically spat, but the worry was more evident than his rage, at least at this moment.

Shit, really? 

“My bad, I didn’t know.” Lee quickly said - he could clearly see that the kid was sickly but he didn’t realize he was part of a vulnerable population. He took a step back from the man, who thankfully withdrew his hand back to his cane.

“Oh c’mon Ford…” Stan said, his voice seeming small. Smaller than Lee would have spoken at that age; he’d always been loud and brash, always unabashedly taking up space and establishing himself. Not that different to how he was in the present day, really, having a palpable presence with his rakish demeanor and larger than life behaviour. It was necessary, he had to always seem sure of himself, even when he wasn’t, because if he wasn’t, his enemies both criminal and legit wouldn’t miss the opportunity to pounce. “Can’t we talk at least a little bit? I haven’t met another me yet! Other you’s show up all the time.”

“Absolutely not.” Ford said, quite firm. 

Lee and Stan looked at each other. And maybe this kid wasn’t him, but with one glance they had a nonverbal agreement instantly.

---

“-and I told him, ‘Hey buddy, can’t you see I’m already un-armed!’”

Stan snorted a laugh at Lee’s story, while Ford said nothing but his mouth did at least twitch, so Lee would count that as a win on his end. McGucket, as he was setting out plates for everyone, simply rolled his eyes. Sane versions of the man tended to be dry and sarcastic, so that wasn’t a surprise.

“Charming.” McGucket said, taking a seat besides Stan. “But Lee, you really should remove your coat and headwear at the dinner table.” He ignored the pointed look Ford gave him, instead closing his eyes and pressing his hands together in front of himself, doing a quick, silent prayer to himself. 

Southern table manners, of course.

“I didn’t see a coat rack on the way here.” Lee said once Fiddleford was done and picked up his silverware, but didn’t wait for a response. He did, at least, take his coat off and drape it over the back of the dining room chair he was sitting on.

“The beanie cap.” Fiddleford reminded Lee, who shrugged.

“Stays on.” Lee ‘finished’ for him, stubbornly. When Fiddleford narrowed his eyes but ultimately backed off to continue eating, he added “Tell ya what, I won’t put my elbows on the table.” At that, he did hear something that sounded like a chortle from Ford; when Lee looked over the counterpart of his brother, he did seem a bit embarrassed at first to have been caught, but he regained composure quickly.

“I never thought I’d see- well, you comply with proper decorum at the dinner table.” Ford said, taking a sip from a glass of water. His much younger brother snapped his head over to look at him with a pouty glare.

“Oh come on Sixer! I’m not that bad.”

“Then stop talking with food in your mouth, Stanley.” Ford countered back, and Stan had the decency to at least look sheepish when he snapped his mouth closed and grabbed a nearby napkin to clean his own face. The boy’s elbow crutches were leaned on the table right next to him. It was strange to sit and eat dinner with - a version of - his brother, after almost forty since he last did so with his actual twin. But the kid had practically begged Ford to let Lee stay for dinner.

It was endearing (Lee would never call it cute), that Stan was so excited to meet Lee, an alternate of Stanley Pines; what he believed to be an older version of himself. And it was too early for Stan to realize what a skeezeball Lee was. Too early for all of them, really.

He looked down at what was being served; meatloaf with a side of mashed potatoes and glazed carrots. Lee wasn’t sure if it was Fiddleford who made the dinner or if they had dedicated staff for that, but he was guessing the latter. He was just glad it wasn’t another shitty MRE or rations pack. There were certain dimensional travelers out there who survived solely off of nutrition pills and lean, but it couldn’t be him.

“So how’d ya lose your arm?”

“Stanley!” Ford immediately reprimanded once Stan said it, whipping his head over with a stern look “That is a rude thing to ask an amputee, or anyone.”

Seeing Stan start to crumple into himself, Lee interjected “No, no; it’s fine Ford. The kid’s just curious.” He said, then looked to the teen in question “The real stories I’d say- TV-MA rated? So let’s keep things simple and say I crossed some people who got back at me eventually.”

“And they chopped your arm off?”

“They were after more than just the arm, but that’s what popped off in the end-”

“Can we please not talk about this while we are eating?” Fiddleford deadpanned, lowing his current forkful of food, clearly not pleased or particularly voracious at the mental image of a man’s arm being cut off.

“How come ya don’t cover it up like your other arm? Is it to look cool?” Stan continued, to the chagrin of his brother. He was referring of course to how Lee’s overcoat had it’s sleeve rolled up on his prosthetic arm, while his other, natural arm had the sleeves fully rolled down and his hand was gloved.

“I was wearing the same jacket when my arm was lobbed off, took the sleeve and glove with it.” Lee chuckled, “Seemed like a waste to throw it away when just the sleeve was missing.” Also he’d been too lazy to find a new jacket, but they didn’t need to know that part. Looking cool, at least in the teens eyes, was just an added bonus. At his explanation, Ford’s expression changed to something Lee had difficulty reading. 

“That was certainly… resourceful of you, Lee.” Ford said, and his tone was much easier to discern than his face; he spoke in a way that suggested that he was exasperated, and perturbed, but… almost fond, in a way. The corner of Lee’s mouth twitched up, genuinely, but he stopped it before it could start.

---

Two weeks.

It would take two weeks for Ford and Fiddleford to collect the materials needed to synthesize Lee’s portal fluid. 

That was the problem with parallel Earths, they were usually primitive in terms of technology compared to the technology that Lee had seen and used in the multiverse. He may have been an old ass man with a nostalgic preference for analogue, but dammit was concentrated dark matter really too much to ask for outside of the Nightmare Realm?

Why did things like ‘authorization’, ‘certifications’, ‘legality’, and ‘planetary safety concerns’ need to get in the way? Those two nerds were way too squeamish at the idea of bribing, robbing, or blackmailing the government.

Gave Lee time to figure out what the deal with Ford and this kid version of ‘him’ was, at least. 

Said kid was over the moon about it, and Lee wasn’t surprised at that; he would have been the same at that age, although not for the same reasons. Because while Lee during his teen years had his twin, his then-girlfriend Carla, a part time gig, and his car to work on… 

Stan was, putting it nicely; a lonely, sheltered, and fragile shut-in.

His loneliness was a result of not only being the only child in the house and the premises, but he was also home schooled; because of his fragility and compromised immune system Ford did not want him attending regular school. Outside of his Roblox and Minecraft servers, it looked like Stan didn’t have any friends.

Although, admittedly, his builds on Minecraft were impressive. Lee would know, considering the three months he was stuck in the Mining and Crafting Dimension. 

He was sheltered by Ford; Stan trailed after Ford constantly, a far cry from the side-by-side Lee had with his own twin when he was young. It was as if the boy didn’t live in Stanford’s shadow… He was his shadow; he moved as silently as one, after all. Something that was still confusing to Lee, not just because of his crutches, but because that was a skill he didn’t possess until a few years after he’d been kicked to the curb and onto the streets. It wasn’t a trait he inherently had. At least… Lee didn’t think he inherently had it. There weren’t a lot of other Stanley Pines variants exiled out of their dimension like him and most versions of Ford, so he didn’t have a lot of examples he could compare to. Maybe Lee was the odd one out in the stealth department? 

Stan’s fragility was both obvious, but contradictory. He had all of the energy Lee remembered having at that age - and could use now dammit he’s needed a nap since the 90s - but Stan was hindered by his very real physical limitations. Crutches aside, he had a weak constitution overall, getting both sick and injured easily. Judging by how much he’d already talked Lee’s ears off about art projects he was currently working on (he seemed to be going through a watercolour kick at the moment), he channeled that energy into pursuits that were less physically taxing.

Those were a few things Lee had picked up on his younger ‘counterpart’ so far - he could only get so close to him with Ford being a helicopter parent-like, oppressive presence in Stan’s life. Not that Lee could blame him, even if he was an alternative version of his twin brother, he was still a space hobo he just met just this morning. Trust was something earned, and most Ford’s had a very ‘trust no one’ mind set that Lee’d seen over and over and over again in the multiverse.

But, Lee had at least two weeks to work with. Maybe that’d be enough times to get past these defenses of his, and maybe figure out who Stan was and where he really came from.

Lee just needed to play his cards right. Gambling man he was, even if his hand wasn’t good at the moment, he always had a few more cards up his sleeve.

To be continued…

---

In the U.S, back in 2010 it was still legal for people to buy cigarettes at the age of eighteen instead of twenty one. The age was raised in 2019. But Lee is lowballing Stanley’s age even further because back in the 1980s when he was still in his own dimension, the federal smoking age was sixteen and wasn’t changed to eighteen until 1994. Yes, Lee has been to a lot of parallel Earths at this point, but why would he bother to learn the laws if they didn’t apply to him and he would have ignored them anyways?

“Say it with your chest” = saying something with confidence and conviction, like you believe what you are saying.

Anytime the word ‘Fordverse’ is used it's just a shorthand term for “The collective of Stanford Pines versions across the multiverse”. It’s basically referencing Fords as though they are a community.

“he got through half of his life by lying, and the other half through stealing” is a line from Lavernius Tucker from Red vs Blue. Specifically, “Half of the stuff I have in life I got through lying. And the other half by stealing, which is basically just lying about which stuff is yours.” - Where There’s a Will, There’s a Wall, Episode 3

Ford’s resolve was weak in the face of Stan and Lee asking him for the same thing. He folded like a lawn chair to their requests.

You can tell Lee is Stanford's twin, because he's willing to risk an entire dimension just to prove a point.

“Vulnerable population” refers to people who for some reason or another relies on herd immunity to protect them from viruses and other diseases.

Urdadscielingfan once said that Lee’s beanie is an emotional support item, hence why he refused to take it off at the table.

MRE = Meals Ready to Eat. Prepackaged shelf stable meals in a bag often used by the military.

“Lean” is also called purple drank, is a recreational drug beverage that commonly contains codeine cough syrup. Lee is mostly joking but he’s insinuating that the Fordverse does questionable drugs.

TV-MA: Mature audience only, and may be unsuitable for children under 17

Lee having an easier time understanding someone through their tone rather than their facial expression is another nod to Lee’s echoic / auditory based memory.

Lee’s story about not covering his arm comes from this ask.

Concentrated dark matter is a reference from Rick and Morty, specifically the episode M. Night Shaym-Aliens! Apparently Rick uses it as a special fuel to travel through space “faster than anybody else.”

You can’t prove that there isn’t a Mining and Crafting Dimension. And yes, it is basically minecraft.

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

Ford is Not used to being dependant on someone as an adult - especially since Stan isn't dependant on him At All in return. It's gotta be doing weird things to his neurons, he would probably sit like a dog if Stan told him to, he is pathetic amounts of in love with him this is past partner in crime he's his hero, his guide, his Muse, his god, Ford is in a really weird headspace

OOOH i love this version of stancest sm. i know this is likely about the little ford au but i also just love this kind of stancest in regular sea grunkles and kills me. so much of stancest (and tbh just in their canon dynamic) is stan nipping at ford's feet and following ford's lead even their sea grunkles era. a lot of darker stancest always infers with ford being obssesive and controlling too and usually stan lets it, because hey thats their dynamic and its better than nothing.

but the opposite has SO much potentil. ford following stans lead. to think of ford realizing that he's way WAY out of his depth and that he needs stan way more than stan needs him now?? maybe he ALWAYS needed stan more than stan needs him?? after all, what did ford say about how stan wouldve been able to see through bill's tricks?? if they were together, the apocalypse wouldve never happened...

ford would think he's so lost now, lost without any purpose now that bill is defeated and he doesnt want the fame anymore either now that he knows his chase for it is what made him lose his brother, so he feels SO empty. except hes not. theres stan. stan whos strong, brilliant, charming and the most selfless hero ford would ever know.

ford wants to protect him so much but another day of stan saving his ass from a monster they were investigating (because he got too curious again) and ford thinks he could never EVER measure up to the way stan protects him, loves him, cherishes him and takes care of him. it makes ford feel awful, unworthy of this love after he promised he'd do anything to earn back that second chance stan too gracefully gave him. he can't fathom the idea of stan finally wisening up and leaving him even if its no less than he really deserves, because what else will he have anymore if he doesnt have his best friend, his hero, his true muse? it'll fester in his mind, growing and growing and growing, and he shoves it down deeper and deeper as much as he can.

but one night, one bottle and a million inhibitions thrown over the railing of the stan o war, he'll finally break when stan smiles at him while they sit on the deck, looking so happy when that makes no sense.

stan deserves the world, the entire galaxies, and ford can't give them to him at that very moment. he'll start crying, overwhelmed with how much he loves stan and how stan deserves the best— one ford has to grudgingly admit isnt him.

"woah, woah, sixer," stan interrupts worriedly, face falling. "what's wrong? come on, we arent even that drunk yet."

the joking tone makes ford feel worse, because how could stan stop smiling because of him and still try to make ford feel better? "i'm sorry," ford chokes. "stan, god, i'm so sorry."

"stanford," stan says placatingly. ford understands that stan understands too, that this isn't about the alcohol, or about crying out of nowhere. his hands cup ford's face, so large and warm, like a place where ford could hide his face forever with the depths os his shame and stan might even let him. that breaks ford even more. "hey come on, bro, s'okay..."

"don't leave me."

"i'm not leaving you, your big brain knows that."

you should, ford thinks but will never say, because he can't. "i can't lose you again," ford whispers with shaky breath. "i w-wouldn't know what to do with myself—"

"ford—"

"— because you're so brilliant, and brave, and good—"

"— i guess but—"

"—you're so good stan," ford interrupts whatever faux preening stan was going to do. his brother doesnt believe him, and ford practically crawls into his space.

"you are so, so good. you are so good and you don't even realize, i—" ford's breath hitches. "i don't even know how i could ever repay you..."

"pff, alright," stan scoffs, looking away, cheeks bright red and smile unconvincing. "jeez ford, you really are drunk." he laughs, his shoulders stiff and unmoving. "like what, are you trying to suck my dick?"

"is that what you want?"

stans eyes snap back to him, wide and full of shock.

"what?"

"is that what you want me to do?"

"no, ford– i'm not–"

"stan," ford says, reaching his hand now to cup stan's face, and god he's just as much of a perfect fit in ford's as he was in stan's. stan is so much bigger and better than anyone else, but with his own extra finger he just might be fit for ford. "stan, it's okay. whatever you want, whatever you need, i'll do it. for you."

sort of something like that. i really really like to think of a slightly toxic, but like in the "its toxic and also the healthiest way this dynamic can really go about" ending where ford tries to overcompensate to stan with sex and romance and stan is relunctant at first but seeing just how willing ford actually is really starts getting into the whole dom/sub— which fulfills some purpose for ford AND he gets to have stan come all over him so its kind of a huge win on all fronts

[halforresterluvsford]

I suppose this is a prompt since you asked for asks: Stancest and it’s their first time having sex, but it’s not teen Stancest it’s post show old men Stancest!

Yesss! I love Sea Grunks Stancest! Their first time with each other being after they’ve lived whole other lives is so enticing! The endless possibilities of both fluff and angst too! Thank you for the request!

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Poindexter-Stanford, wait, I need to adjust my back pillow.” Stan pushed back from Ford’s lips, a hand reaching back to push his orthopedic pillow back into place.

“Oh, yes. Sorry, Stanley. I should have asked-“ Ford sounded winded, his voice graveled, but no less concerned for his brother. He removes his lubed fingers from Stan’s pliant hole, his other hands softly rubbing Stan’s flank.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, Sixer, happens all the time. I should probably not use it, ‘cause uh-you know. It’ll probably get knocked out a’ place again when you start fucking me.” Stan wiggles his eyebrows with a smirk, laughing at Ford’s expression.

“Nonsense, Stanley! I want to ensure that after we-“

“Fuck?”

“Have sex, you’re still able to walk!” Ford crossed his arms, staring down firmly at his twin.

“Well, ain’t the point of sex to ensure that no one can walk afterwards?” Stan indignantly replied, an eyebrow raised

“Not because someone threw their back out or slipped a disc!” Ford threw his arms up in exasperation. “I want this to be pleasurable for both of us, Stanley, and I can’t have you bedridden because we weren’t careful enough-“

“Alright alright, Stanford! We’ll keep the back pillow! Now come ‘here!” Stan pulls Ford down, wanting to shove his tongue in his mouth a lick away all his unnecessary words. He wants to tangle their tongues together and-

“Ouch!” Their noses smushed against each other, their teeth clanging, and their glasses knocked into each other. Ford rips his off and, with all the carefulness he can muster, sets them on the bedside table. He does the same with Stan’s, rubbing his stinging lips. He looks down at Stan, who looks stunned. Now their night is ruined and they’ll never have sex. Maybe they’re doomed to never be intimate, fate disagreeing with their consanguineous relationship. He sees Stan open his mouth, probably to call this whole thing off.

Stan, surprisingly, burst out laughing. Big belly jostling laughs as he throws his head back. Ford feels his face heat up, embarrassment and irritation coloring him in their vibrant colors.

“What is so funny!?”

But Stan keeps laughing, and his laughter and exuberance got to Ford, causing him to crack a smile and a snort, laughing slightly as his twin full-on cackles against him, his larger stomach jostling Ford with every laugh. This causes Ford in turn to laugh even more, until they’re both just sitting on their bed, laughing in the nude.

“Seriously! Stanley, why are you laughing?” Ford asks, still slightly chuckling.

“Nothin! Heh, nothing! I’m serious, Stanford,” Stan brings Ford’s face down, knocking their foreheads together and nuzzling their noses together, “‘S just, I don’t know. I’m glad that we can still laugh about sex mishaps at our age. I’m glad it’s not just all serious, ya know? I like it-makes me feel comfortable. Even more comfortable with you.” Stan doesn’t know what got over him, his words cause his own face to feel on fire, a red matching his twins spreading across his face.

“Stanley…” came Ford’s soft reply before he starts peppering Stan’s face with kisses, coaxing small giggles from him, “Thank you for feeling comfortable with me. You have no idea how much that means to me.” He kisses Stan’s forehead.

“Yeah, yeah. Alright, enough snappiness, Sixer! It’s time for horniness! I’m still ready and rearin’ to go!” Stan spreads his legs, separated by Ford’s hips, even farther, a hand reaching down to tug on his still hard cock, “think ‘m still pretty stretched, just lube up and go for it!” He throws a smirk at Ford, who, having been four fingers deep in Stan’s ass just minutes ago, complies, dribbling cold lube on his own erection. He hooks one of Stan’s legs over his shoulder, pressing the other one down and out towards the side. He uses his free hand to position his cock, slowly sinking in his twin, angling his hips up to hit that special gland he had been playing with not too long ago.

“Ngh!” Ah. Found it. Ford moves slowly, gently rolling his hips into Stan’s clenching and hot hole. Aiming each thrust to hit his prostate.

“Ford! Ford-fuck! Right there! Ngh, please! A-ah, ke-ep going! Faster!” Stan demanded, needing his brother to fuck him harder and faster. They can do tender and loving later, but this is their first need and Stan needs it.

“Stanley! Shit-so good! You feel so good around me, you’re so good for me!” Ford feels Stan clench around him and hears what could be described as a mewl escape his throat. He could work with this. “Fuck, you sound so sweet, Stanley, and it’s all for me. I love your sounds, how sweetly you clench for me. How good you are for me.”

“F-Ford! Hah! Yes! Yes ss-sso good for you! Need you so bad all the time!” He reaches his own hand down, stroking his aching cock. His other hand grasping for Ford’s by his hand, grabbing and intertwining their fingers. His five bracketed by Ford’s six. His moans are almost punched out of him by the sheer force of Ford’s thrusts, a wet and audible “plap plap plap” echoing throughout their room between Stan’s moans. “Never stop, Ford! Please I-Mmmph!”

“Moses you look so pretty when you touch yourself for me, Stanley, such a good boy for me-Ah!” Stan clenched so hard at that pet name, Ford almost came, “You like that, Stanley? You like being good for me? You like it when I fuck you and call you my good boy? I need you to say it. Say. It. Stanley!” he punctuates those last words with harsh thrusts, aiming directly for Stan’s prostate. These pointed thrusts cause Stan to wail, his legs interlocking behind Ford’s back and his stroking hand speeding up. His balls feel so tight, he feels like he’s about to explode, but he needs Ford to tell him to cum. He doesn’t know why, but he knows he won’t be able to otherwise. Look at him, in his 60s and still learning new sex things about himself.

“I-I like it! I like being your good boy! I-oh fuck, Ford I’m so close! I love when you fuck my ass and call me your good boy! Please, please can-fuck ah-I cum!?” Ford didn’t expect Stan to ask permission, but he’s not going to argue against it. The thought of being able to deny Stanley to maximize both of their pleasure is an interesting thought, but he’ll have to table it for next time.

“Fuck yes, Stanley. Cum for me, stroke your pretty cock and cum for me like the good boy I know you are. Like my good boy!” Ford can barely move with how tight Stanley clenches down on him. He watches, barely able to thrust into Stan’s ass, as his twin cums all over his stomach and hand. He watches that prominent vein on the underside of his dick throb, his cock twitching with each pump. Ford’s thrusts prolong Stan’s ejaculation. And Ford isn’t far behind him, the stimulation of Stan’s warm insides clenching around him and the visual of his coming undone getting to him. He drops Stan’s hand and steadies both hands on the bed, focusing all his energy on chasing his own orgam, grunting as he pounds into his brother, drinking in the soft and overstimulated moans being breathed into his ears.

“Stanley!” Ford says with a strangled cry, dropping his head down into Stan’s neck, thrusting once, twice more before he buries himself as deep as he could inside him brothers warm hole, feeling Stan’s slowly softening cock on his abdomen as he finishes inside his twin. He feels like electricity is shooting down every nerve he has, his breathes coming in short bursts. It takes a few moments before he comes back to himself. He pulls his face out of Stan’s neck, looking at his brother closely to make sure he wasn’t too rough, but it looks like he’s also in the middle of catching his breath and coming down from his high.

Stan startles a bit as he feels six familiar fingers caress his face, turning his head to face his twin. Soft kisses are speckled across his face, soft reassurances that he can’t make out are murmured in his ear. He slowly comes down and back to his senses, feeling Ford’s arm wrapped around and holding him, his other hand rubbing his face and brushing his hair behind his ear. He looks so soft. Stan can’t resist leaning in closer and pressing a soft and deep kiss against his lips.

“Hey,” Ford whispered softly, “welcome back. Are you alright?”

“I’m better than alright. You okay, Sixer? It wasn’t too much was it?” Stan worried, hoping it felt just as good for him as it did for Stan. That he was getting off from Stan’s old and fat body. He knows Ford said he loves Stan’s body but what if-

“It was great, Stanley. Better than anything I’ve ever felt before. You were wonderful.” He grabs and pulls their blanket over them when he sees Stan shiver. The temperature is much cooler on their naked skin without the heat rushing around and between their bodies. “Don’t doubt yourself, I’ve told you this before. You couldn’t be less than perfect for me. How could you? You’re my brother, my twin, my other half. We were formed for each other.”

Man, if that didn’t want to make Stan cry. But he’s a man, an old one at that, and he doesn’t cry from a few sappy words that mean way more than an “I love you” to him. He just buried his head in the hair on Ford’s chest and squeezes his eyes tightly closed, breathing in Ford’s musk. He doesn’t think he can manage words right now. Just hugging Ford close is all he can do. He doesn’t think Ford minds if the arms squeezing tightly around him and kisses pressed to his hair are of any indication.

Between the soft rocking of the ship on the ocean and his brother’s breathing, Stan finds himself drifting off, surrounded by Ford’s heat and sent. And he couldn’t ask for more.

Ford finds himself thinking similarly; thinking that this was his Perfect World. Being with Stan, loving and being loved by him, holding him closely like this, sleeping with him wrapped soundly and securely in his arms was always his dream, deep down. This was Stanford’s perfect world.

[vtrianglethoughtsvtrianglelll]

[We enter in fords portal room, Bill enters with Fiddleford slinged over his angle with the swirling portal in the background]

BILL: OH NO NEED TO THANK ME SIXER. HERE YOU DROPPED THIS-

[Ford believing the portal to be dangerously unsafe at this point immediately pulls the power lever, with a "thunk"]

BILL: HAY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T SHUT IT DOWN!!? NO!!!

FORD: What? IT worked Bill your here it- it WORKED! [The portal winks out of existence and Bill is humbled by gravity for once in his life] BILL: CATCH ME! CATCH ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Ford miraculously catches both of them]

FORD: Caught you!

(looking at Fiddleford's concussed form) Woah, buddy... you don't look so good...

<<FIRST <<PREVIOUS

NEXT>>

[Bill and Ford sit/kneel beside Fiddleford laying his head on a smooth stone]

FORD: Bill, is he going to be alright what happened in there?

BILL: HE'S FINE IQ, JUST SLEEPING. REMOVE THAT STICKER AND HE'LL WAKE UP GOOD AS A PILE OF SCREAMING RACOONS.

FORD: Is that bad or just one of your weird analogies.

BILL: BAD. IMA' BE HONEST WITH YOU HIS MINDS TOTALLY SCRAMBLED BY NOW!

FORD: But...you can fix him, right?

BILL: I WOULD IF I HAD BY POWERS RIGHT NOW- NO THANKS TO SOMEONE CLOSING THE PORTAL ON ME...

NEXT >>

These pages are kind of boring but that's because the next ones are really good! I think I've been drawing/writing ford a little out of character but IDK I can't change most of it now, just imagine he's in shock or something and that's why he's not immediately going science crazy over the portal working and Bill's physical form. He's definitely thinking about those things but here he is trying to put that aside in favor of making sure his best friend is ok and not dead.

IDEAS ABOUT LORE:

I think for this AU the main 'catalyst' for all this happening is that bill doesn't ever come back to visit Ford in-between Christmas and the portals first test, "The muse Returns" section in the Book of Bill.

So instead, Bill just keeps partying without a care in the world and so Ford is able to keep developing a stronger friendship with Fiddleford.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

what brothers are made of

a/n: heyy angels this is my first try at a fic without a reader! just exploring the brothers’ dynamic and their complicated relationship, hope you like the angst<3

tags: Stan and Ford, pre portal, angst

Ford’s the one who called. Ford’s the one who reached out with that damn postcard, asking for Stan’s help, and god, Stan wanted to believe. wanted to think that things could be different this time. maybe Ford really did need him, maybe this wasn’t another one of his schemes, his obsession with things that were so far beyond Stan that it made him dizzy just thinking about it.

but to his disappointment, when he gets here, when he stands face to face with his brother, all he sees is cold, logical desperation that makes him want to vomit. its the same thing that’s always been there, however, more paranoid than ever. Ford can’t stop himself from being consumed by his own mind and that’s exactly what’s gotten him here, hasn’t it?

Stanley wants to scream, wants to shake Ford, make him see. 

“responsibility? oh, that’s funny, coming from the guy who built a goddamn death machine in his basement and called me up to clean up his mess!”

“you don’t know what you’re talking about! this isn’t a ‘mess,’ Stanley. this is—”

“it’s bullshit!” Stan pulls the crumpled postcard from his pocket and flings it to the ground. “you didn’t call me here because you care about me. you never cared about me, sixer. you called me because you needed someone to hold your precious hand while you play god!”

“you’re so goddamn selfish,” Ford spits, shoving Stan toward the door. “you can’t stand the idea that i might actually accomplish something, can you?“

“fuck you, just fuck you! you think you’re better than me? you think this— this thing makes you better?”

“get out,” Ford says coldly, trying to hold his emotions. because that’s what Ford learned growing up, right? keep your feelings hidden. be the smart one, the quiet one. and when you need to, just get out of the room before you say something that can never be taken back. control, control, control.

because if he lets go, if he really opens up, he’ll have to confront everything. all of it. the hurt, the betrayal, the loneliness, the failure, his fears. and that’s a door Ford doesn’t want to open.

but if he did, Stan would see. Stanley would see how much Ford is drowning in his own guilt and fears, his desperation to fix things that can’t be fixed. Stan would see how badly Ford needs him, how much he needs them not as broken rivalry siblings they’ve become, but as the two kids they used to be, throwing their fists at the world together.

if Ford could let it out, he’d tell Stan how scared he’s been, he’d ask him to hug him and would cry into his shoulder. he’d tell him how every night he lies awake, torturing himself with the thought that maybe it was him, his own selfishness that led them to this. if he told Stan the truth, about Bill, he might just collapse under the weight of all the things he’s kept bottled up inside.

when Ford says "get out," what he's really saying is, "I don't know how to talk about this. I don't know how to say I need you, Stanley. I don’t know how to explain that the world I’ve built, all this knowledge I’ve gained, it all turned against me."

"you don’t mean that," Stanley says quietly. “i know you, Stanford. better than anyone. and i know that look in your eyes, you’re scared shitless. you don’t have a clue what you’re doing and instead of admitting it, you’re pushing me away. same as always."

the fight isn’t about the damn portal or journals, it never really was. it was never about science or alternate dimensions or any of the insane plans Ford dreamed up. it’s about them, about that gulf between them that’s grown so wide that Ford doesn’t even know where to begin. and when Stan gets too close, too loud, too angry, Ford pulls away because it’s a defense mechanism. his mind knows that if Stan touches that nerve, if Stan demands the truth, Ford will break. and he can’t let that happen.

when Ford was just a kid, staring out of their bedroom window, dreaming of galaxies and stars, their dad would look at him with proud eyes behind these glasses.

and the way their father looked at Stan, like a problem, that look burned into Stan’s soul. he pushed Stanley out of the house. and now even his own brother was doing the same thing. Stan hadn’t realised how much he still carried that hurt. hadn’t realised how much it still stung.

but Ford wasn’t his dad, he wasn’t the one who pushed Stan down, who told him he wasn’t worth anything. but then why when he looks at his twin, he sees Filbrick? because maybe, in the back of his mind, he is still that little boy, who was rejected and discarded. it’s not Ford, it’s their dad all over again. it’s the front door slamming shut in front of his face when Stan was too young.

you can’t do this to me. you can’t push me away like he did.

“you think you’re so fucking smart, but you don’t get it, do you? you don’t have to do this alone. you don’t have to carry all of this by yourself. but no, you’re too goddamn proud to let anyone in.”

Stanley wants to laugh, but it’s not funny, it’s fucking sad because Ford’s voice isn’t even loud or angry, not like their dad’s had been. Ford’s tone is quiet, restrained, controlled. and somehow that makes it worse.

"what did I say, Stan Pines? keep your stance low. aim for the gut; it’s the easiest target."

maybe that’s why he fought. because this wasn’t about Ford trying to save the world, this was about Ford pushing Stan away again, like their dad did years ago. pushing him out when he was scared, when he needed Ford the most.

Stan fights like their dad taught him. Stan’s punch lands and it hurts more than it should, not because of the impact, but because of the look in Ford’s paranoid eyes. shock, betrayal, but not anger. no, Ford’s not angry. he’s just hurt and maybe scared. and Stan hates that look, hates that he put it there.

Stan wasn’t trying to win in this fight, not like in the old days, when their dad had taken him to boxing gym to teach him a lesson because there Stan fought for respect. for himself. he fought to make sure he wasn’t just another screw up, another worthless kid in his dad’s eyes. boxing was a way to prove he wasn’t weak. and it worked. for a while.

Stan hates it. he hates that they’re here, yelling at each other like they’re still kids, fighting over who got the top bunk or who spilled milk on ma’s favorite tablecloth.

it’s funny in a way, how much this feels like when they were kids. when Ford would retreat into himself, hiding behind his books, while Stanley tried to pull him out to make him see the world the way Stan did.

but the world Ford sees isn’t the same as Stan’s. it never has been. Ford sees logic, patterns, equations and stars. Stan sees chaos, opportunity, feelings and family. they’re opposites, two sides of the same coin, and no matter how hard they try, they just can’t seem to meet in the middle.

Ford’s shove sends Stan stumbling backward, out the door, into the snow and that's when everything collapses under the onslaught of cold, harsh reality. It’s not the physical shock Stan experiences or the pain of hitting the snow-covered ground. because Stan is used to feel physical pain.

it’s realisation.

Ford’s silhouette appears in the doorway, breathing heavily, before he slams it shut. 

the snow keeps falling, covering Stan like a blanket, the same way their mother sheltered him. his blood stains the ground beneath him, but he doesn’t move because he can’t. the fight’s gone out of him, leaving only exhaustion and a hollow ache where his anger used to be.

she’s there, in the warmth of his memories, her soft hands cupping his cheeks, brushing away tears. “oh, my sweet boys,” her voice always sounded like a lullaby. “you’ll always have each other, no matter what.”

Stanley remembers the way she’d pull them close, wrapping her arms around both of them, protecting her kids from the world. at first Ford would squirm, pretending he was too old for hugs, but Stan always clung tight, burying his face in her apron.

“look after each other, boys, promise me, you’ll always look after each other.”

Stan had promised. but promises are funny things. 

they’re easy to make when you’re young and hopeful, when the world hasn’t yet shown you how cruel it can be. they’re much harder to keep when everything falls apart.

a sob tears its way out of his chest and Stan lets it. he lets the snow take him, lets himself lay there like that, because he thinks he deserves this.

Ford’s face flashes in his mind, not angered face he just fought, but the younger one. the one who used to sneak into his bed at night, scared of thunderstorms. the one who used to build sandcastles with him at the beach, the one who always supported him

“i’m sorry, ma, i tried. i really tried.”

the snow keeps falling and Stan closes his eyes.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

From Beginning to End of Time

Summary: “Then it’s a deal!  From the beginning to the end of time!”

In which Ford is even less careful with his words, and it gives Bill one more tool to use.

Author's Note: This one came to me in a nightmare! Mind the trigger warnings!

…

This time, when Ford collapses, Bill doesn’t take over right away.

Mostly because he’s frustrated.  He’s tried so many things to get Ford to open the portal.  Direct threats, physical punishment, psychological punishment, humiliation.  Nothing’s working!  Too much more of living like this, and his pet might not make it.  Human bodies are ridiculously fragile and finicky.  Ford is only able to go around a week without sleep before he collapses from exhaustion, and that’s at his best.  Ford hasn’t been at his best in a while.

Clearly, Bill needs to try another strategy.  So when Ford first passes out, Bill camps out in his memories first, scrolling them past him, looking for anything Ford is particularly scared of.  Bill doesn’t have a ton of access to the thing he’s really thinking about, which is that someone he cares about will get hurt as a result of his actions.  Ford doesn’t know anyone in Gravity Falls besides Specs, and Specs will run the second he spots Ford’s body.  Bill would have been able to catch him a few weeks ago, but he can’t make Ford’s legs run very fast anymore.  So, that’s out.

Ford has plenty of fucked up ideas for things Bill could do to him physically, but there’s a limit to what Bill can do if he doesn’t want to permanently damage Ford’s skin suit to the point where neither of them can work on the portal, and Ford hasn’t seemed to put that together.  Meaning that the things Ford is dreaming up are far worse, and nothing Bill can do will surprise him.  Not physically, at least.

There’s plenty of psychological stuff he can try, but play around too much and the nerd could fully go insane, and what use would he be to Bill then?  Plus, he’d be boring.  This relationship works better when Bill is the insane one, and Ford is all normal and desperate and cute.

But that means he’s officially running out of options.

With a frustrated huff, Bill flings the amount of memories from the past several months away from him, sending him back down the line towards Ford’s childhood, which can hardly be of any use to him.

Except… the childhood memories are glowing?  Bill reaches out and pokes experimentally at one, and to his surprise, his hand sinks through the image like it’s a liquid.  He peers closer, looking for any kind of explanation.

He comes across a reminder of the terms of their contract.  “From the beginning to the end of time.”

Huh.  He hadn’t realized Ford meant that quite so literally.  And hey, time travel has never been difficult for him before!  That certainly gives him options.

Of course, there are a limited number of people from back then that Ford still cares about now.  Anything with his father would probably anger him more than scare him.  His relationship with his mother is too complicated for Bill to predict his reaction.  If he goes back at a time when Sherman is still living at the house, Ford’s kid body will be too small to accomplish anything worth the trip.  Lesser Half comes with his own problems, but Ford’s reaction to the failed call is enough that it probably makes it his best option.

Well, that solves the “who.”  What about the what?

It can’t be anything that would change the timeline too much.  Ford still needs to be here, like this, when Bill gets back.  That means he needs a situation he can control.  Not too many people around.

Bill starts scanning through the memories, and finds one where Sixer and his lesser half have just found their junk pile of a boat, and are at a hardware store getting what supplies they can with the very limited money they had access to.

That will work nicely.  He needs Sixer to remember the timeline as it originally was, but changing his memories back once the timeline changes won’t be difficult.  He’ll have to play it carefully while he’s there, but it’s just Kid Ford and Kid Lesser Half.  He can pull it off.

So Bill reaches through the memory, pries experimentally at kid Ford’s head, and feels Ford’s discomfort and notice at something poking around his brain that shouldn’t be there.

Right.  Kid Ford might not trust him yet.  No matter.  The Ford in this time period is asleep.  And Bill has always been good at stretching a deal.  That will count.

So he pushes past kid Ford’s uncomfortable squirming, and forces his way into his head.

“Uh hey, Stanley, do you feel that—”

Bill slams Ford’s mouth shut as soon as he opens his eyes, and is left with Lesser Half staring at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“Feel what?” he asks.

Bill shakes himself as best as he can manage.  He gets a slightly confused look from Lesser Half, but just grins.

“Nothing, sorry!  Just a bit chilly, I guess!”

Lesser Half smirks.  “You baby.  It’s like 55 degrees out.  Come on, we’ll go inside where your poor fragile skin can be warm.”

Since it’s important to be convincing for a while, Bill rifles through Ford’s memories for what he’d say.  Kid Ford still squirms in the back of his head, and Bill shoves him down into the subconscious to keep him quiet.

“Oh shut up,” Bill says, putting a slight whine into his best impression of Kid Ford’s voice.

It seems to work well enough, because Lesser Half laughs, and they both walk into the town’s hardware store.

“Okay, so first we’ll need wood,” Lesser Half says, a childish excitement entering his voice.  “Cause we gotta rebuild the second half of the boat.  We should probably focus on that first, right?  Or do you know some super nerdy boat stuff about how to put it back together?”

“We could find instructions first,” Bill says, because it’s what Kid Ford would say.

Lesser Half sticks his tongue between his teeth and makes one of those “pbbt” sounds that Bill might enjoy more if he had a mouth.  “Bor-ing!  We’ll only need to do that if it doesn’t look right.  I’ll get some wood, and—”

“And I’ll ask for some instructions,” Bill cuts him off.  It’s what Kid Ford would say, and it’ll give him time away from Lesser Half where he doesn’t have to play the part of human quite so well.

“Ugh, fine, if you want to be so dull about it.”

They split off into separate sides of the store.  Bill has some fun slamming Kid Ford into shelves, then picks up some books on boats to keep up the ruse.  Finally, after a perusal of potential items for the next part of this, he slips one more thing to use later inside his jacket.

He meets Lesser Half back up at the front of the store where they pay for what they can afford, and Lesser Half definitely steals some of the stuff they can’t.  If he wasn’t by definition Lesser Half, Bill would almost be impressed.

He keeps his stolen object hidden until they make their way back to the beach.  It’s overcast and too cold for humans to swim, even if Bill is for once in agreement with Lesser Half about that just making them wimps.

It works out in this case, though, because it means their section of the beach is empty aside from them.

“Alright,” Lesser Half says, laying everything down.  Bill finds himself wishing they could get on with this.  “So here’s the stuff we bought, and here—” he pulls a bunch of very small planks of wood, a hammer, and nails out from his jacket— “is the stuff I stole!  So we’re off to a pretty good start!”

Bill gets the sense that Kid Ford would chastise his brother at this point, but this is where he’s deviating from the script.

“I stole something too,” he says.

Lesser Half lights up, and turns to Bill with a grin.  “Really?  I’m rubbing off on ya, Poindexter!  What’d you get?”

Bill pulls the object out of his own jacket.

“…Uh, okay Ford, good for you,” Lesser Half says, taking the gardening shears from Bill.  “But we might still have to work on your skills, buddy.  Sorry, but I don’t know what we’re gonna do with these.”

Bill grins.  “Oh, I can think of a few things,” he says, taking the shears back.

“Yeah?” Lesser Half asks curiously.  “Like what?”

Bill reaches across the space between them and grabs Lesser Half’s hand, then pulls it out between them.

Lesser Half gets that look on his face.  It’s one of Bill’s favorite human looks.  The one where they’ve realized something is wrong, and it’s obvious what’s going to happen next, but they love the person doing it too much to not spend a few seconds thinking of alternate options.

Bill loves those few seconds.  It’s where he does his best work.

These, for instance, he uses to put the gardening shears around either side of Lesser Half’s left pinky, and snap them shut.

They make such a delightful crunch.

…

Ford wakes with a scream trapped in his throat.  His hands fly forward, trying to push Stanley away from the shears, but they just end up meeting the edge of his couch, which he collapsed right next to.  The force of his shove shakes it enough that it knocks a book off that lands on his head.

Something in his head that sounds like Bill laughs, “‘From the beginning to the end of time?’  Sixer, you’re supposed to be better with your words than that.”

“No,” Ford whispers to himself.  He shoves himself to his feet, dislodging the book, and runs for his study, muttering “No no no no,” as he does.

Ma gave him Stanley’s new phone number.  He shoved it into a desk drawer rather than tear it up or burn it, which felt weak at the time, but now he’s glad for it.

He almost falls down the stairs twice as he makes his way to the phone in the kitchen, and his hands shake as he dials the numbers.

“Hi, this is Stan Co Enterprises, are you calling about our Stan-Vac Vaccum Cleaner?  Stan-Vac!  It sucks more than anything!”

“Stanley how many fingers do you have?” Ford blurts out, which he’ll admit, out of context sounds a little insane.

There’s a full ten seconds of silence.

“…Ford?” Stanley asks finally, disbelief plain and obvious in his voice.

“How many fingers, Stanley?”

“What— what the hell are you talking about?  Are you just calling to be a jerk?”

“Please, I— please,” Ford begs, hoping the tears in his eyes aren’t obvious in his voice.

There’s another pause.

“Nine, Sixer,” Stan spits, and Ford suddenly can’t breathe.  “Like I’ve had since we were twelve years old.  Which you know.”

“I didn’t—” Ford tries to say, but it comes out a garbled mess.  “You— I’m—”

“Uh, you good over there?  What’s wrong with you?”

“I can’t—” Ford says.  He slides down against the counter, dragging the phone with him until the cord is stretched out as far as it can go.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he chokes out.  “I can’t— I—”

“Woah, hey, easy,” Stan says, a note of concern entering his voice for some goddamn reason.  “What’s going on?  Are you okay?”

“Your finger’s gone!” Ford screams.  “It’s not supposed to be gone!  It was there before I collapsed!”

“…What the hell are you talking about?”

“I can’t breathe,” Ford says, and he buries his head in his knees and pulls the phone on top of them.  “I can’t breathe and I can’t sleep and I can’t stop him, there’s nothing I can do—”

“Okay, slow down,” Stan says.  “Is— Ford, is someone threatening you?  Are they hurting you?”

“He hurt you,” Ford cries, though he’s almost positive it doesn’t come out clearly.  “You shouldn’t have been in danger, you’re nowhere near me, he— I can’t— I can’t open the portal,” Ford sobs.  “I can’t do it, he’ll— he’ll destroy everything, I can’t do it—”

“Ford, you’re not making any sense,” Stan says gently.  “You gotta take a deep breath, calm down, and tell me what’s going on.”

A few hours ago, Ford would have said he can’t, that no one can know, that it could put them in danger, or reveal to them just how badly Ford has messed up.  He would have told Stanley to stay far away, and forget they’d ever had this conversation— not that Stanley would listen to him.  But he would have at least tried to keep him away.  But what would even be the point of doing that now, after what just happened?

“Come here,” Ford cries into the phone.  “I’ll tell you, but please, I need you here.  I need help.”

“Where are you?” Stan says, no questions asked, not even sounding the slightest bit hesitant.  “Ma said you’re somewhere in Oregon.”

“Gravity Falls,” Ford forces out.  “618 Gopher Road.  I— I have to stay awake until you get here.”

“No, you have to get some rest.  You sound like you’re losing it.”

“No,” Ford insists.  “I can’t— I don’t know what he’ll do next time, what if he kills you?”

“Hey, no one’s gonna kill me,” Stan says, a gentle tone in his voice that’s obviously meant to reassure him.  “I’ve survived this long.”

“That won’t count,” Ford says.  “It won’t count.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Stan says, sounding lost.

“He can— he can just find you in the past,” Ford whispers.  “And kill you back then, he can— I can’t stop him, I can’t—”

“…Okay, look,” Stan says.  “I truly have no idea what’s going on, but it sounds like someone’s threatening me to get to you somehow, right?”

“Yes,” Ford whispers.

“Then he won’t kill me.  There’s limits to what he can do, Poindexter.  If I’m just dead he loses all his leverage.  He has to have a bargaining chip.  If he does the worst thing he’s threatened then there’s nothing left to bargain with.  Okay?”

Hearing it laid out so plainly does make some of the knots in Ford’s chest loosen, just a little.  He still can’t sleep.  He needs Stan to get here, and nothing is stopping Bill from hurting him to the point that can’t happen.  But Stan is right.  Bill can’t kill him.  If he kills Ford’s twin, Ford will die before he helps him.

“Okay,” Ford murmurs.

“I can be there some time tomorrow,” Stan says.  “Or the day after at the latest.  Will you be okay until then?”

“Yes,” Ford says.  “I think.”

“Okay.  I’ll call as I get closer, and if anything happens, alright?  It’s gonna be okay.  It’ll be okay.”

“Stanley,” Ford says.  “You never told anyone what he— what I— what happened to your finger, did you?”

There’s a pause.

“…No,” Stan says.  “I told Ma I stole the shears and was messing around.”

“You should have told her,” Ford whispers.

“I’ll be there soon, Sixer,�� Stan says instead of any kind of response, and he hangs up.

Ford shouldn’t have worried.  For the next day and a half, he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to.

[the-universal-sun]

Yooo i just found ur account and i just followed u immediately! So umm what about stan getting injured and ford being all protective twin and treats stan's wound? It would be great

So sorry this is late! It's around that time, you know? There's not many wound treatings in here, but there are some healing kisses! I hope that's okay! Please let me know! As always, I'm open to constructive criticisms and helpful advice!

Thank you so much for the ask, anon if you're still here. I hope you enjoy!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Stan giggles as he slides around the freshly cleaned floors in his new fuzzy socks. Sixer's making lunch and he got bored waiting for him, his brother was taking forever! Stan's sure it's fine, Ford never said he couldn't slide around on the floor. Besides, he likes how he slides against the floor, it feels like he's skating! But without the scary wheel shoes. He makes little "wee" sounds interspersed with his giggles, slipping and sliding around on the floor until-

Crash!

He slipped and fell on to the floor, smacking his face, and lays there in a stunned pile. It takes a moment for what happened to set it, Stan blinking as he takes it all in. Then, he can't hold it back, his face and nose hurt and he fell! He starts to sniffle, his lips trembling, before he starts to cry loud and pained wails, more upset by the shock of crashing than by slamming his face into the ground. He wants his brother to come and kiss his ouchies better and tell him he's going to be fine. He continues to cry, wondering why Ford wasn't immediately coming to his rescue and comforting him, he wants a hug and a cuddle! This is too much for Stan to deal with alone!

"Stanley! Stanley what happened?! Are you alright?!" Ford came running in, boots stomping against the ground and the slide of the rubber against the wood almost makes him fall, his arms windmilling to steady himself, heading towards his Little brother. He takes stock of the situation, kneeling down and looking for any scratches, bruises, or blood, finding only a red and sore looking face sniffling back at him with piteous tears. "Lee, what happened? Your face looks sore, did you trip?" Ford asks gently, wiping the tears from Stan's face. "Your nose doesn't look broken, no bruising to indicate such, no swelling, no blood. Just some redness in the area encompassing your nose and forehead." Ford mumbles more for himself than for his brother, they both know that if it was that serious, Stan wouldn't still be regressed. He brings an arm around his brother, letting him lean and have his weight supported by Ford's body, rubbing his arm softly, trying his best to console Stan. His poor brother just looks so sad.

Stan weighs in his mind of letting Ford know the whole truth or not. It's not a lie to say he tripped and fell, because he really did, and Ford didn't ask about what he was doing before he got an ouchie, so it can't be that important to him. Right? All he asked was if Stan tripped and if he was okay, and he doesn't want to hear a lecture about "safe play" right now, he wants a big hug from his Sixer. So, Stan just nods and points to his face, his eyes still full of tears and lips wobbling. It doesn't even hurt anymore, but now he needs comfort, he went through such a scary situation. He needs some healing kisses right now, please. He snuffles some more as Ford coos and kisses his face, easing the stinging with his kisses. He must have magic kisses, Stan thinks as he closes his eyes and leans more into Ford's body and almost climbing into his lap, because his face AND heart feels a million times better.

"There there, Lee. You're alright, yeah? No more tears?" Ford wipes Stan's remaining tears, smiling softly as his brother fully climbs into his lap, nuzzling his neck. Stan's sobs, while big and loud, were always easy to console, mostly being performative or from something relatively minor. It's the silent sobs he has to look out for, but it seems like, aside from being a cuddle bug, Lee is alright in the grand scheme of things. Now about his tripping...."Hmm, it's no wonder you slipped, Lee, these floors are terribly greasy, the wax must not have dried properly...what do do...perhaps I should get a carpet, that way any trips are damped by the fabric..." Without warning, Ford suddenly stands, bringing Stan up with him, holding him off the ground and walking towards the kitchen with him. Stan holds tightly onto Ford's shoulders and looks at him, wide eyed. What's sixer doing now?

"Until the wax dries, Lee, I don't trust that nasty floor to not trip you again, so I'll be carrying you unless we're on carpeted flooring, is that alright?" Ford asks, depositing Stan on a kitchen chair, making sure he's steady before he heads back to finish their lunch. Stan nods with a big smile. He LOVES being carried by Ford, it doesn't happen as often as he wants, stupid old man backs, but every time it happens, Stan's overjoyed, Sixer's arms make him feel so secure-he's never scared of being dropped by his big brother! Realizing that he couldn't see Stan's nod, he hums his "yes that's fine" hum, they came up with special hums if Ford couldn't see Stan to get an answer. He swings his feet at the table, waiting for lunch to be done and hoping his brother sits next to him.

"So, Lee, what were you playing before you tripped?" Ford asks, back still turned.

Stan starts to sweat.

[darius-shack]

Favorites

for #pinesot4month2025

prompt from day 4, twincest week: stancest

summary: ANOTHER getting together fic, oops. long awaited lifelong kiss. STAN O WAR II. Ford's favorite anomaly in his life is Stan, the man who stayed.

Out of all the anomalies he's experienced, Stan by far is the outlier in his eyes. He didn't quite understand his dedication to get him back until he asked who had helped him.

When Stan had said, "Absolutely no one. I did it by myself."

"You're telling me you read through every single one of my books and papers alone?"

"I had a lot of time on my hands. I had a lot of time to figure out how your brain had changed, how you organized, how you thought. Took some imagination but I figured out ways around the hard stuff, like math."

"How did you do that?"

"...I pretended you were teaching it to me, like it was all new. Like you did when we were kids."

Thirty, no, forty years apart. And yet it was still noticeable, Stan's sort of obsession with wanting to be by his side. Ford's considered himself lucky, cursed, and everything in between because of it. Now, after almost losing the one man who never gave up on him, he considered if it was skin deep or something more.

If it was something... more, how come Stan never said anything? Maybe it was never the right moment? Ford himself had resigned to never speaking about such a thing because he knew it was wrong, it had been his whole life. He assumed he was one of those people that would forever be single and married to his work and lifelong achievements. But now...

Now after losing Stan and regaining him back, there's no question that Ford loved him. Always had.

Sounds of gently slapping water adorned the air, mixed with the smell of warm salt due to their low latitude, close to the equator to give his brother's joints a break from cold weather. Partial clouds shown a pink lit sunset upon the side of their vessel, and the two were on deck with a few drinks.

"You wanna know what my favorite anomaly in those Journals of yours was?" Stan casually asked, taking another swig from his beer.

"Oh, please tell."

"It was that gourd with a face. Second favorite was the geode dudes you can strike together like a flint and steel, that's fun."

"Ah yes, I wish I could have kept one, but why the gourd face?"

"Eh, guess it reminded me to keep going."

"How so?" Ford furrowed his brows.

"Just... weird things like that, getting attention from a smart guy like yourself, it's humbling in a way. That you uh, care, like that."

There's a pause, and Ford thought he understood. But maybe Stan's talking about something else in a subtle way as he often does. A remainder of having all that time to lie. Maybe it's a white lie, the reason that it's his favorite, for what he couldn't tell.

"My favorite anomaly is you." It's said with no ill intent, yet Stan gave him a look, almost... fearful? Ford explained further, "After all this time, the personal hardships between us, my utter foolishness to not have you by my side..."

"What are you getting at?"

"I," Ford sighed long and hard, "I'm not sure. Are you sure you're... happy, being out at sea with me?"

"Yeah, it's the dream. I wanted this for so long, Sixer."

"Is that... all your dream entailed?"

"I- uh," Stan thought for a moment, "Y-yeah. You're all I need."

It was said with an odd hesitance Ford isn't used to out of his twin, so he decided to pin it. "Am I, or is there something else that I'm missing? You're more, ah, sexually active than I am, if you're wanting a partner, we can go to shore and-"

"No, I don't need that." Stan seriously replied.

"Are you sure? I have no qualms with-"

"Yes! I just..." He blurted, quickly calming down, "I wanted you by my side. My whole life, that's all. It sounds pretty damn selfish considering you're my brother, I guess that makes me the freak of the family now."

"You aren't, I am." Ford said, taking a swig of his own beer. He considered whether or not that was an incestuous confession. "I do still top in the freak category."

Stan scoffed, glancing at his twin's face looking out to the setting horizon, "What's worse than me wanting you all to myself my whole damn life?"

"Me wanting you as badly, only to fumble it," Ford quickly stated, gripping the railing for all it's worth, "Me, wanting you to come back in my life only to push you away, for me to fumble again. What is worse is me... having a legitimate singular attraction and ruining it." It occurred to him now that maybe Stan's attraction doesn't run that deep, he's already dug himself a hole, might as well see where it goes.

"...Did you? Or did he?"

"I wasn't talking about Bill."

Stan's eyes widened, head turned to stare at him now. "You're... You didn't ruin it."

"I... I didn't?"

"Nope. Say, your 'attraction'... is it strictly platonic, romantic, sexual or what? A mix?"

"All of those." Ford breathed out, like expelling a demon from his soul. It felt incredibly enlightening to have such a suppressed experience and desire come to the fore front and be accepted.

"I got my dream, Sixer, I'm just missing one thing." The pink light shown on Stan's face like a beacon, smirking happily at his twin.

"What?" He whispered, hardly believing the sequence of revealing events.

"Your mouth on mine, is what I'm missing." Eyes darting down to Ford's lips like a tempting dessert.

Inhaling through his nose, he's not sure how to be suave with this. "You don't have to," Is what he muttered.

They're still staring deep into each other's brown eyes before Ford realized that it was him who has to initiate, seeing the slight gesture in Stan's patient expression, almost saying 'prove it'. So he does.

Ford took a hand and placed it on his face, like he used to when they were kids and he was comforting Stan after getting hurt, or crying when Pa was being overly mean. He's seen this in movies, kissing. It always seemed so far away from his reach and yet he was right here, about to do it willingly. He leaned forward and closed his eyes, pressing their foreheads together with their glasses gently clanking and lips hovering, breaths ghosting off each other. It felt right.

Two seconds pass before Ford connected their lips, surprised at how soft yet warm the experience was. Other than that, everything felt on fire with nerves and awareness, desire. Stan hummed shortly and sighed, almost like a relief had washed over him. And what a great feeling that was, to give that to the man he loved everything he's ever wanted.

Stan pulled back, and Ford almost thought he did something wrong before he felt Stan pant for breath. "Sorry, I uh, needed some air. Got excited."

"Ah, right." They're still just as close, neither wanting to escape the moment that had occurred. But the sky was dimming, their features almost beginning to disappear.

"Do you want to go inside?" Ford asked first, "I wouldn't mind um, continuing with our activity."

"That would be great, I can't see shit anymore, too damn dark. Rather look at your pretty face all day," Stan said, walking to the door.

"I'msorrywhat?" Flew out of Ford's mouth so quick.

"You're pretty, handsome face. Wanna look at it all day, c'mon, it's getting chilly."

"Thank you." Is all he could respond with, before Stan grabbed his hand and dragged him inside their boat.

[goose-gallery]

Uuh so some more on my take on human Bill. He basically highjacks Nick's body and uses some good ol ancient rune tattoos to make him into an immortal vessel only he can possess. Some more ✨lore✨ under the cut because I have waaaaay to many thoughts about this

So Nick is just some random guy who's passing through Gravity Falls, and he stops in the dusk 2 dawn for some chips or something

Ford happens to be there at the same time. He has the very normal, very insignificant thought of seeing some dude across the aisle in a convenience store and thinking "hm. cute guy" (which I might add is a thought he's barely conscious of. My guy has layers of representation to deal with but that's a different post) and moves on with his day

Bill on the other hand, the jealous fuck, reads this in Ford's brain and has the calm, collected and controlled reaction of ghosting ford for a few weeks to go fuck with this guy. For "fun." Definitely no reason other than that nope Bill doesn't care that Sixer spent 0.2 seconds looking at another guy whaaat no why would he care

Eventually Bill manages to get Nick to make a deal with him and gets his hands on Nick's body. Nick is obviously Not Ok with this so Bill rips out Nick's eye, using the body's pain to deter Nick from trying to get it back and because he's a crazy bitch like that and also because I want my Bill design to have one eye sue me

Then Bill does all the hair dying and piercing, and then uses spellbinding tattoos to secure his new flesh puppet :D now Nick's body can only be possessed by him (thereby keeping Nick out permanently so Bill can come and go as he pleases, without having to worry about fighting for the body's ownership every time he wants to use it) and doesn't need "looking after" the way a normal human body does (so he can leave it in a closet for weeks on end and it'll be fine)

Bill then rocks back up to the mystery shack and tells Ford he can manifest a human body sometimes. Just flat out lies to him. Like the liar he is <3

He stashes the body under the porch or something when he's not using it

I have more thoughts on this but I'll save it for another post lol

[woobiedoovo]

AYO DO Urm... have any more thoughts about erm ,....... pregnant stan . hehe .. -journal420

Hello Journal420!!! Yes, I have many more thoughts about pregnant Stan.

So, Stan honestly really enjoys being pregnant. Mainly because of how much Ford panders to him during the time. He mentions how his feet hurt, Ford is already peeling off Stan’s shoes to give him a foot massage. Stan mentions a craving he has at 3 a.m. ? Ford is marching to the nearest convenience store, eager to get Stan whatever he needed.

Of course there are plenty of things Stan doesn’t enjoy. His weight, something he’s always been insecure about, has skyrocketed. It makes sense, of course. It happens when you’re pregnant, but no matter how many times Ford explains to Stan that it’s completely natural and it’s actually healthy, Stan feels embarrassed by it. Ford on the other hand LOVES Stan’s weight gain. His love for big hairy men is something the Stancest community talks about all the time and I heavily subscribe to that belief.

Ford thinks Stan looks absolutely beautiful. His skin is glowing, he looks happier and happier everytime the babies move, and Ford just can’t help but fall a little more in love with Stan everytime he goes on a rant about how pricey baby supplies are.

When the twins are born, Stan and Ford are over the moon. Stan is crying, Ford is crying, the babies are crying, everyone is crying.

They name them Evangeline (Ford’s pick) and Elodie (Stan’s pick). Then they all live happily ever after!

(This is making me think about Stan having to breast feed… 👀)

Now I know what all of you were REALLY waiting, so here’s some kinky stuff :)

Ford 100% has a breeding kink. This is his dream scenario come true, and he lets Stan know that every time they have sex. Which is a lot more often now that Stan is pregnant because his hormones are going wild.

(Ford is just always horny for Stan, so it’s a win/win situation for him!)

He refers to himself as “Daddy,” and Stan as “Mommy,” much to Stan’s displeasure. But it’s hard to complain when you’re being fucked within an inch of your life by your horndog brother.

Stan is able to completely embrace his pillow princess behavior and just lay down and take it.

While Ford is rutting into him like a madman, Stan gets to lay on his back, hips supported with pillows, and enjoy the ride.

Ford makes it his mission to get Stan to see how beautiful he is, so he makes Stan repeat compliments to himself.

“Say how handsome you look, Stanley.”

“Aw, come on Sixer. Let’s not do this right now.”

“Say it Stanley.”

“I look… handsome, I guess.”

“Don’t worry Lee, I’ll just make you say it again until you believe it.”

If Stan’s not crying then Ford isn’t done. He needs his gruff baby brother overwhelmed with love to the point of tears.

[tempusedax-rerum]

All references in TiBiBiBaP

Under the cut you'll find all the little references and allusions made in Then it Becomes, it Becomes, it Becomes a Problem because I kept track of them and hey, why not, right?

It's going to include some stuff that probably seems painfully obvious. And did I miss some? Most likely, yes.

Obviously this contains MAJOR SPOILERS lol

Chapter 1:

Bill-proof suit -> The Book of Bill (TBoB from here on out)

Post-it notes -> TBoB

Shave-and-a-haircut -> classic call-and-response

“Have you come to steal my eyes?” -> S02E12, a Tale of Two Stans

Venus de Milo -> ancient Greek marble statue

Chapter 2:

“…grisly warzone that had once been their favourite taco place.” -> TBoB burrito paradox incident

“hourglass-shaped container” -> inspired by the ‘Cosmic Sand’ from S02E08 Blendin's Game and also the oracle page in Journal 3

“Vigilantes vel somniantes vel ambo…” -> this is actually a direct reference to a poem I wrote

“…you never needed the feather, Dumbo!” -> this scene in Dumbo

“The first line of the pyramid is also a theorem; it follows directly from axiom two.” -> Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page 224. All of Amorphous Shape's dialogue comes from GEB because I'm saying that all of reality is consciousness-based (specifically Axolotl-based). What is Amy? A mystery, at her core. Some kind of expression of the fractal structure of the multiverse.

"in the backroom" -> did I spell back room incorrectly?? No. I did this on purpose.

Chapter 3:

My take on the mindscape is loosely based on Plato’s theory of Forms with some scaffolded fractal panpsychism thrown in for good measure

“…grains of sand on every beach…” -> reference to Carl Sagan's book Cosmos

5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel -> reference to the actual game

Chapter 4:

“It would be insane for a serial killer to press and stamp their own fake pain killers…” -> allusion to the Tylenol murders

Photocopier -> S01E07, Double Dipper

“Route 14” -> Journal 3

Chapter 5:

“…a large gourd with an unnervingly friendly face.” -> Journal 3

“ten distinct varieties of spectra” -> Journal 3

“a huge chess pawn” -> seen in the background of various Gravity Falls episodes (in the attic)

“Teen and Up” -> reference to AO3's rating system

“chamomile, cardamom, and dandelion root” -> chosen for their occult and medical properties: chamomile is associated with calm, cardamom is associated with love, dandelion root is associated with change. Basically a little spell to keep Ford thinking good thoughts about Bill.

Chapter 6:

“Chumbo’s hungry” -> TBoB

“singing the alphabet backwards and chanting Z-O-Z-O-Z-O” -> these are two common ouija board events that are attributed to demons

“Bring spiders! Sixer liked those.” -> TBoB

“The sum of the angles in a triangle is 180 degrees only in Euclidean geometry; it is greater in elliptic geometry, less in hyperbolic.” -> Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page 100

“party like it’s 1346!” -> this is the year the bubonic plague started

Chapter 7:

“There are these cows” -> Journal 3

“The Collector” -> a real Marvel villain

“eaten by Steve” -> Journal 3

“A mop and a bucket.” -> allusion to the various Handyman Bill AUs

“STARVING BLACK HOLES HAVE EATEN ALL LIGHT” -> that's entropy, babyyyy. Specifically, I was thinking about this video: time lapse of the future

“He wants his mother to cut the crusts off his sandwiches.” -> TBoB (burrito paradox 911 call script)

Chapter 8:

“the Purple Man” -> also a Marvel villain

“nice birthday present” -> TBoB

“I don’t want to be a fish!” -> the theory that hiccups are an old fish reflex

“Or Plato?” -> allusion to the allegory of the cave which is linked to Plato's Forms

Chapter 9:

“…has caused me harm in the following ways” -> common script for intervention letters

“A potato-shaped creature with a jelly-like consistency and four eyes” -> Journal 3

“Et tu, Brute?” -> Julius Caesar of course

“this space was originally my biospec lab” -> and that’s what it is in the show according to S02E15, The Last Mablecorn. I tried to stay true to this layout but I did make a few changes.

“He gave me rats for my birthday.” -> TBoB

Chapter 10:

“For here it is true that si paullum a summo discessit, vergit ad imum. I turned back when I saw that no man can reach the bottom of this night.” -> Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page 92

“We cannot make the loop any tighter, but we can open it wider, by choosing to insert any number of intermediate levels, such as ‘picture frame’, ‘arcade’, and ‘building…’” -> Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page 716

“Nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.” -> direct quote from the Twilight Zone, S01E28

“The architect of my own destiny.” -> paraphrase of Jean-Paul Sartre

“Self-made man” -> paraphrase of Frederick Douglass

“portable portal device” -> allusion to the portal gun Rick and Morty... bordering on reference the further into the story we go... lol

Chapter 11:

Tachyon Queso’s Time-Loop Pizza Palazzo —> this is obviously just Chuck E. Cheez which, apparently, used to be called "Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre"

Chapter 12:

“Mens, corpus, in aethere separatum, spiritu unitum” –> I swear this is a reference to Supernatural but I can't remember which incantation I was thinking of

Chapter 13:

Multibear → S01E06, Dipper Vs. Manliness

"Just a couple tweaks" -> reference to Let's Get Weird by Longest Solo Ever

Chapter 14:

“If you wanted to go back and replace axiom one by its negation, you could not just do that by itself; you would have to delete all theorems which had involved axiom one in their derivations.” → Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page ?? (forgot to record the page number, so sorry lol. When I reread I'll fix this)

“Querying the system about some particular idea sets up a goal in the form of a string to be derived.” → Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page ?? (same issue as above)

“hyperdrive from crash site Omega” → Journal 3

“concentrated dark matter” → reference to Rick and Morty, S01E04, M. Night Shaym-Aliens!

“shadow realm” → reference to Yu-Gi-Oh!

“Magrathea” → planet in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Sikaris → planet in Star Trek (Voyager, S01E10, Prime Factors)

Naboo → planet in Star Wars

Arrakis → planet in Dune

Golden fiddle → reference to The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Chapter 15:

“Swayze-style” & “You had me at ‘ditto!’” → references to Ghost (1990)

Chapter 16:

Nothing here except a bunch of over-simplified neuroanatomy.

Chapter 17:

“Krombo-whoever-the-fuck” → allusion to Krombopulous Michael from Rick and Morty, S02E02, Mortynight Run

“she’d figured out how to set water on fire” → that one chemical that can do that. I forget. I think it's lithium? It also burns pink, so I think this was Alex's intention for Pyronica

Jheselbraum → Journal 3

Chapter 18:

“he had Jennifer Aniston beat in that regard” → reference to the Jennifer Aniston neuron

“what was his name… George? Henry?” → allusion to a series of comments where people kept getting Gary's name wrong. It really cracked me up. Like, yes, exactly! Gary is barely a person. Hilarious.

“‘Subsystem’ is just another name for an overgrown symbol, one which has gotten so complicated that it has–” → Gödel, Escher, Bach: an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter, Douglas R., page 384

“spiritui esto subiecto voluntati meae" -> and then Snooki appears! Reference to Supernatural, S9E16, Blade Runners

“Greek superstition” → parsley is associated with the dead in Greek mythology

“Yarrow? Frankincense?” & “absinthe?” → chosen for their occult properties. Yarrow is associated with removing blockages, frankincense with ritual amplification and consecration of ritual spaces, and absinthe is associated with spirit communication

Chapter 19:

“Anima, corpori fuerit corpus totem resurgent.” → reference to Supernatural, S8E1, We Need to Talk About Kevin. Fun fact: Amina (Anima backwards) just so happens to stand in for "amen" in Arabic in certain circumstances. Neat how that worked out.

And lots more oversimplified neuroanatomy. I like brain science. :3

Also thank you to my university's physics department and to some very helpful people on discord who checked my math on those three problems.

Chapter 20:

"Dammit, Janet" -> a song from Rocky Horror Picture Show

“fucking Nosferatu” → Nosferatu :) obviously :)

Chapter 21:

“Obtuse Society” → From this panel about the pitch document for TBoB (here's the actual document)

Chapter 22:

“cells, interlinked” → Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabakov

“Dr. Jacobi” → Laura Palmer's therapist in Twin Peaks

“Did the lambs get too loud for you, Clarice?” → Silence of the Lambs

“salt on Ford’s windowsills” → allusion to Supernatural. Just salt everywhere.

Chapter 23:

“stupid… calcium” → lack of calcium re-uptake is one of the causes of rigor mortis

Chapter 23:

I am purposefully drawing parallels between Bill's trauma-based dissociative experiences and my own experiences with dissociative disorders. This is also a nod to Disco Elysium!

"jelly doughnut" -> reference to the autopsy snack time trope

Chapter 24:

Nothing here

Chapter 25:

This chess game is just The Immortal Zugzwang

Chapter 26:

"a tattoo guy" -> it could be any of the embarrassing tattoos tbh (but it's definitely the "if lost return to Bill Cipher" one from TBoB, the "my muse and me" page)

Moloko plus → disgusting milk-based beverage in A Clockwork Orange

That ol’ Janx Spirit → alcoholic component of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Chapter 27:

The spot in the Atlantic ocean that Ford is referencing is meant to be the Bermuda triangle

“Eyepatch?” → allusion to Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat by @stump-not-found

The cake in this scene is an internal reference to the moment that Bill saw in chapter 7 which he was using to anchor his behaviour in subsequent chapters. In case.... anyone missed that. It was a very small moment.

"Just rebrand it as an adhesive exfoliating strip. The rash means it’s working." -> Stan's bandaid brand, "The Rip-Off," that won't give you rashes from S02E12, A Tale of Two Stans

The final scene with Bill is a reference to the one therapy session we see on thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com when you type in "even his lies are lies"

Spiders Georg -> we all know this guy, I hope