#but i saw a reel yesterday
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gang im still as sad as i was b4 my birthday but in a new hopeful way with way more questions so that’s interesting
#ok tag rant ehheheheheheheh#ok as of i think feb-march this year i had accepted that i just wasn’t going to transition#that it just was too hard and too expensive and the privileges of being a cis guy esp in the work im going into#are just too great to throw away#this was the point that it was becoming more clear to me that if i really tried i could be a pretty man#i have a decent jawline decent skin im on track to be taller that 6 foot big chin#so i had just decided that when i graduate i was just going to act as if it was just a phase#yeah i would be miserable for all of my life but the alternative in my head was someone still miserable but also unemployed and ugly#i’d rather be miserable looking pretty than be miserable and ugly#but i saw a reel yesterday#and i’m always very vulnerable around my birthday so i was solacemaxxing#it was about someone detransitioning bcs they couldn’t get on hormones#and at this point i had just accepted the fact that i’d never transition and the idea of me continuing my life as trans hadn’t crossed#my mind in a while#but the reel kind of reminded me exactly what i was missing out on#if i had come out to my parents the moment i started to question my gender when i was 11 i could be passing as a woman already#and ik it’s not about passing n shit and like it’s about you and not your perception but like#idk what all the forums i look at don’t get but i don’t want to be trans i want to be a woman yk#anyways i looked into it and at 14 my voice has deepened but not too much#im 5’9 which for women makes me tall but model tall not freak tall#my shoulders haven’t broadened#if i come out soon and my parents are accepting and i can get on blockers#realistically i could be passing before i’m 18#when i kind of got to that conclusion it kind of scared me yk but in a good way#and now i’m stuck with the same question i was asking almost exactly a year ago#is it worth the effort to transition
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proud of you king <3
bonus:
#sorry mumbo. good job jimmy#pho.posts#wild life smp#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#saw the first reel jim made going around but not the update from yesterday. so <3#i love you jimmy. he's so funny dhfjsdhfjd#and mumbo mention <3#1k
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(x)
#metal gear#metal gear solid#mgs#liquid snake#friend sent me this reel yesterday n i was like “that's liquid” (he's a gymbro to me). then she mentioned the sunglasses (i didn't realize)#and i was like. hold on. i can see him dressing up as kaz and doing this shit at his funeral...#and then hours later i saw someone here drawing a discord convo about kaz's last words to ocelot#so i kinda felt a sense of urge to do this bc they were winning us w the kaz death jokes n ive already lost battles to other memes#like the two guys holding each others head n touching their lit cigarettes. couldve done that months ago but im a procrastinator#ive already seen like 3 different versions i feel defeated
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i think i got my mom addicted to youtube shorts
#bc one time we were lying together and i was on insta reels#and she was really interested#and then told me i should do something productive#but yesterday in the car i was watching her watc timothee chamalet interviews on youtube shorts#if u saw i accidengally posted fthis on themain no ididn't
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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idk I guess I'm tired of this attitude that if you're not constantly reading 9,000 page books or publicly critically analyzing the shows you're watching with huge essays, it means you don't actually engage deeply with material or you're somehow vapid and something something "consume product"
like man, stuff exists besides Media To Consume. Art is great and it's awesome. It's very cool to read books and like TV shows and movies. And not all of those need to be fuckin Citizen Kane. But it's awesome to like intense stuff too. But like yeah. You gotta have other stuff you do. I have lots of other stuff I do! Sometimes I don't even post on the internet about it!
So when I come online and post a bunch of Transformers or Gundam screencaps of some beautiful boy with the caption GOD I HATE HIS FUCKING FACE I'M GONNA CHEW HIS SKIN OFF GRRRR I AM SO IN LOVE it doesn't actually mean I don't have deeper thoughts than that. I'm just posting because I'm in my 30s and work 40 hours a week and just wanna watch a fun cartoon sometimes man.
geez
#every day i am happier that i do not Engage With Fandom anymore#if you're gonna make character judgments based on posts about cartoons online idk man#i think you need a hobby that doesn't involve looking at your phone!#i think i feel insane bc i saw a tweet yesterday that said#'vine shut down. tiktok banned. they don't want us to have entertainment. they want us miserable'#and i was like#you cannot be fucking serious that your only or even main entertainment in life is tiktoks#like you cannot actually be fucking real right now#listen i lay on my couch and watch instagram reels to wind down after a day of work#but if instagram reels went away i wouldn't be like#THE WORLD IS CONSPIRING TO MAKE US MISERABLE#you reeeeeeeeeeeally need a hobby that doesn't involve staring at a screen or reading fiction sometimes#none of these things are bad#but like oh my god. you really need to do somethiNG ELSE#peoples' entire personalities are becoming Analysis of Media and idk how you people aren't fucking exhausted#every time i wanna talk about a show now people wanna start a debate with me about the ethics of characters' actions#and like! maybe sometimes! but oh my god! i'm tired dude!#and everyone's just getting their opinions on things#by watching other people talk about them#watching tiktoks of people talking about books.....#watching videos of other people play games...... idk
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watching my bf fight the scadutree avatar in the shadow of the erdtree DLC…. he just figured out there’s a second phase and is struggling…. he doesn’t know there’s a third……..
#i only know bc i JUST saw a reel abt it like yesterday#he boutta be really really mad 😭😭#i’m not gonna tell him bc he doesn’t want spoilers and i don’t wanna make him mad idk if i should tell him 😭
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Top three ways you know I needed to be asleep hours ago! (Read: days)
1. Hallucinating!! So fun, always a pleasure to freak out.
2. Writing/words not making sense when written or said. Lots and lots and lots of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Always nice to decipher what I wrote later in the day.
3. Headache. Ouch go away
#can u tell i havent slept#its time for sleepy sleep#ik its 5am what abt it#actually this has been all week#wakey wake 2-6 pm#sleepy sleep 5-11 am#guess who went to bed at 11 am yesterday#thats right me#actually in pain#goodnight my sweet babys#also i gad to write book idea down and then i saw a quiz abt neurodivergent thing#had to do all that#and i got distracted by reels#stared at my ceiling for two hours tryna sleep but i couldnt stop thinking abt smthn#had to research#also yes i stayed up for two or three days and then slept for three days straight#so it actually cancels out
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double trouble or whatever the kids are saying these days
#gari draws#gari’s ocs#nintendo#smb#oc: mela#oc: pera#mareach fankid#i remembered this wip existed yesterday and did a quick line and color#context: i saw a reel on ig about twin girls getting into trouble during nap time (one got stuck in a vent)#and i thought it would be a very pera thing to do. she’s nosy as hell and often found herself in situations like this as a toddler#so uhhh yeah she’s in a vent#idt i have the reel saved unfortunately 😔
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The influx of boring/ugly wedding dress reels on Facebook has driven me to Pinterest just to look at pretty ones.
#I saw one reel yesterday and the only appealing outfit was the one the salesgirl started out in#like forget the gowns girl where'd you get that jacket?#I'm having a great time looking through wedding dresses on Pinterest though#I'm not getting married I'm just tired of boring wedding dresses and need a little satisfaction
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2 days since my Friend last sent me instagram videos please come back i miss you :(
#like reels and stuff. i mean reels .#but like today i was scrolling and wanted to send him a video and hes usually my top option for sending things#like you know when you press on the paper airplane theres 4 people for fast sending hes the first one that appear#and today he wasnt there cause its been 2 days since he sent me sth and my mother sent me like 100 cat videos since aaaaa kill kill death a#ok i saw him yesterday at college but sometimes i miss people a lot and talking to him is always great#plus i miss all my other friends#but im seeing my school friends tonight so thats really cool!!!!!!!#spikeposting
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 136
Adjective: Silver
Noun: Dust
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Silver: made of or colored like silver
Dust: fine, dry powder consisting of tiny particles of earth or waste matter lying on the ground or on surfaces or carried in the air; any material in the form of tiny particles; a fine powder; a cloud of dust; (literary) a dead person's remains; (literary) the mortal human body; an act of dusting
#today has been better emotionally than yesterday#im still lowkey reeling from how much of a rollercoaster that was#but i played some commander magic: the gathering with my girlfriend tonight#more specifically i played with the commander deck she bought me for my birthday (which she gave me yesterday as an early birthday gift)#(for those who are curious she got me gimbal gremlin prodigy from march of the machine)#(cos the second i saw him in walmart while we were perusing booster packs i fell in love with the little guy)#(it was loads of fun and im really looking forward to playing with gimbal more especially against my gf)#anyway enough of that#i love this prompt a lot#especially since it feels like a part two or companion to day 95: 'copper breath'#which is probably what im going to do with this prompt#mtg#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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idk as the price of things go up i find myself often going "oh, well im sure i can just make that myself for cheaper then..." instead of footing the price. do i actually go through with making it myself? often not. but idk. a bagel with cream cheese should not be worth 4 dollars. an egg cheese and bacon in a tortilla should not be 3.50. i can do that myself.
#this applies to people trying to promote foods too..#saw an instagram reel yesterday about these little pellets that were just a bunch of dehydrated vegetables ground into little balls#and the lady promoting it just went on and on about how it was so good since its grown by this little farmer in korea (?)#and idk. i dont think that matters so much. i can make that myself if i really want to... im not paying all of that
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I need to draw Wilford and Dark in the Barbie western outfits asap
#i saw the movie yesterday and I'm still reeling#no spoilers but i would 100% recommend it to anyone who has yet to be convinced by all the hype#ANYWAYS I HAVE AN ART PROGRAM AGAIN I CAN DRAW AGAIN
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trust
pairing: steve harrington x reader
summary: steve confesses something deeply personal, your reaction only spurs him on with his newly found confidence
warnings: 18+ this contains smut, f oral receiving, body insecurity, scars, whiney steve, it's real sappy
a/n: this is long and half of it is filth, but it's sweet so it's fine!! steve is smitten and a lil pathetic, idk what else to say
series masterlist
Robin sat at her kitchen table in rumpled pajamas, hair slightly wild, nursing a mug of coffee that smelled dangerously bitter. She didn’t expect to be out of bed at this hour, but she had a rather pressing matter that demanded her attention.
Her best friend was perched across from her, vibrating with nerves. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so frazzled before noon—especially on a Sunday.
“Are you gonna tell me why you’re here at eight in the morning, or am I supposed to guess?”
Straight to the point, huh?
He raked a hand through his hair—he’d already done it so many times this morning that it stuck up at all angles.
“...We went on another date.”
“Right. You and your mystery girl.” A smile pulled at Robin’s lips. “That’s great, Steve, really. Super happy for you. But you needed to wake me up just to tell me you went on a date?”
When she says it like that, it feels like the understatement of the year.
“I think I blew it,” he said flatly, the words coming out in a rush.
She snorted into her coffee. “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“No, I’m serious,” he insisted, shoulders sagging. There was a dullness in his eyes that told her this was more than his usual overreaction. “I’m telling you, I ruined it.”
“Okay, sure,” she put her mug down, leaning forward with a sigh. ”You’ve totally, completely ruined it. Wanna back up and give me some context here?”
He drew in a breath, gaze drifting to the wall as if he might see yesterday play out on its surface.
“Okay, so I saw her again yesterday. Picked her up, had a great time—like, amazing. I’m talking, she’s laughing…” He trailed off, letting that memory blossom in his chest. He cleared his throat, pressing on. “Anyway, I drove her home, walked her to her door. Smooth, right?”
“Peak romance,” Robin deadpanned, eyes narrowed as she tried not to smirk.
Steve shot her a withering glare that only made her grin more.
“Yeah, so then we… we kissed. Which is not new. Told you what happened in the classroom couple weeks back? God, that was—” He closed his eyes for a moment, recalling how your lips tasted that evening, reluctantly forcing himself back to the present. “I mean, you know, right?”
Robin took another sip. “Yes, I know. Please continue.”
“Okay. Sorry. So last night, we’re outside, and she’s leaning against the door. We’re both kinda… reeling, and then she looks at me—like, that look—and asks if I’d like to come inside.”
“Inside, huh?” Robin’s coffee froze halfway to her lips.
“Yeah.” Steve nodded fervently. “And look, I’m not an idiot, okay? It was late. I know what inside means.”
“I’m… not following.”
A frustrated groan escaped him as he slumped forward, elbows on the table, head in his hands.
He doesn’t want to say the next part—he can barely stand to close his eyes without seeing the look on your face. Disappointed. And knowing he was the reason why. It was so stupid. He could have said anything else, but of course, his brain chose to short-circuit instead.
“I said… ‘No, thank you.’”
Silence blanketed the room. Robin’s mouth hung open for a moment before she found her words.
“You said what?”
He groaned again, louder this time.
“I panicked, okay? Just… You should’ve seen her face. She looked so—God, embarrassed? And I… I just—I was stuck. Couldn’t think of anything else.”
“So you turned down an invitation inside after a date—”
“—and then I turned around and headed for my car,” he finished, miserably.
Robin cringed, setting her mug aside. “Oof.”
“I know,” he hissed. He lifted his head, eyes pained, as if replaying the moment in mind-numbing slow motion. The memory felt like a stone in his chest.
Her gaze softened as she took in her best friend's posture, how his fingers trembled around the rim of the coffee mug he hadn't even touched.
She knew he’d had it rough—anyone who’d witnessed what he had would understand. But since he primarily talked to his therapist about this sort of thing, she often forgot just how deep those wounds really ran.
“Hey,” she said, voice gentler now, “it’s okay if you’re… not ready for all of that yet. It’s a big step.”
He lifted his head, eyes shadowed with worry.��
“I am ready,” he countered, a hint of desperation colouring his tone. “I want—I want to be ready for that.”
And he did. He wanted it so badly, his body ached with the image of your skin against his, even if the touches had never gone beyond heated kisses and tentative caresses.
For the last few years, his mind had been stuck in survival mode—always scanning for threats, flinching at sudden noises, bracing for the worst. But now, when he closed his eyes at night, instead of feeling dread burrow into his bones, he found himself imagining the curve of your lips, the softness of your laugh.
He wondered how you’d sound if he whispered filthy compliments against your ear, what your breathy giggle might feel like against his neck if his fingertips trailed down your sides… between your thighs.
Sometimes he even caught himself shivering from the sheer longing to feel you.
All of you.
But wanting that also meant baring more than just his heart. The idea of letting you see every inch of him—scars that told stories he wasn’t ready to retell, the ridges and marks that still woke him in cold sweats—terrified him.
What if you asked about them? What if you stared too long? Worse, would you be disgusted? He imagined your wide eyes taking him in and feeling pity, revulsion. The thought was enough to make his stomach twist, to conjure that old, familiar panic.
He swallowed thickly, struggling to force the words out. Robin slid her coffee across and leaned forward, reaching out as if to anchor him to the present.
“You can talk to me,” she urged. “You know that, right?”
Steve pressed his lips together, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of fear in his chest. Finally, he looked at her, voice barely above a whisper.
“What if…” He inhales deeply, “what if she doesn’t... like what she sees?”
It took a while for it to click, but when it did, her chest caved.
Her eyes flickered with regret as realisation sank in, remembering the countless times she’d watched her friend hurl himself into danger so that she and the others could walk away unscathed. Always the martyr, always the hero, always the one with the innate urge to rush in and save those he held close to him.
It was such a rare gift, but it was one that left the worst as a result. The physical reminders—souvenirs he never asked for.
“Steve,” she said quietly, “everyone has scars.”
He let out a soft, humourless laugh.
“Not like mine.”
Her heart broke for him, but her resolve was far stronger.
“Hey,” she spoke, tone turning firm, “we’re not doing that.” She locked eyes with him, showing him the truth behind her statement. “Do you seriously think this girl would judge you for something that’s basically the reason you’re still alive?”
That we’re all alive.
His gaze darted away, thoughts churning.
Robin was always like this—blunt, even when she was trying to be comforting. A stark contrast to Dr. Avery, but sometimes he preferred it. At least it meant honesty.
“Well… people are—”
“That’s not what I’m asking,” she cut him off, levelling him with a look. “I’m asking if you think, with absolute certainty, that this would cause her to stop seeing you.”
He opened his mouth, closed it again, and racked his brain for any moment he’d ever heard you speak ill of someone without good reason. He couldn’t recall a single instance—except for that one time you’d jokingly insulted his father after hearing the reaction to Steve’s profession, but that was more than warranted. Otherwise, you never had a negative word for anyone. Even when you probably should.
He couldn’t picture you reacting with disgust.
It just didn’t… fit.
“It’s not that simple,” he muttered, though his voice wavered with uncertainty.
“I hate to say it, but it kind of is.” Robin pursed her lips. “She’s clearly into you, right?”
He hesitated. “Well—”
“Shh, yes she is,” she declared, waving a dismissive hand. “She wouldn’t be seeing you if she wasn’t. And if anything, that’s a bigger compliment, yeah? She wants you for you.”
“What if there are questions?” He gave a reluctant shrug, tension still rolling off him in waves.
“Then be honest.”
He shot her a look. “Are you serious right now?”
“No, not that kind of honest.” Robin snorted. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he said quickly, the mere thought making dread coil in his gut. That was the last thing he wanted to bring up in your presence.
“There you go.” She lifted her eyebrows pointedly. “Tell her it’s hard for you to talk about. You’re not lying, you’re just… setting a boundary.”
“I’m not sure…” he admitted, leaning back in his chair.
“For God’s sake, Steve.” Robin sighed, exasperated but affectionate all the same. “I’m telling you this as your friend—you can’t let this hold you back forever.”
His jaw tightened. “I’m not.”
“You don’t know unless you try,” she pressed. “Do you trust her?”
“Yes,” he blurted, the word escaping before he even had time to think. You had never given him a single reason not to, the only thing you treated him with was unrelenting kindness.
Robin’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “Well, there’s your answer.”
A beat of silence passed before he nodded, finally letting some measure of acceptance settle in his eyes. Robin grinned back, pushing herself to her feet, feeling proud that they had reached a solution.
“Have you eaten?”
“No.” He shook his head. He came straight here as soon as he woke up. Barely slept the night before, too.
“Pancakes, then.” She arched an eyebrow, making her way over to the stove. “You’re gonna need the energy for when you go talk to her later.”
“Later?” Steve spun in his chair, panic creeping back in.
“Yeah, it’s Sunday,” Robin rolled her eyes as she pulled out a frying pan. “No time like the present, right?”
Steve spent the rest of the morning holed up at Robin’s place, grateful for her presence and the easy way they could slip back into normal best-friend banter. It helped calm the churning in his gut, the lingering phantom of your expression—slightly crestfallen—when he’d refused your invitation the previous night.
By the afternoon, he felt marginally more composed. Maybe it was the pancakes, or maybe it was the way she all but shoved him out the door with the gentle instruction to ‘fix it’ and ‘try not to overthink.’
Easier said than done.
Either way, he found himself stopping by a local florist before driving to your shop. The tiny bell above the florist’s door tinkled as he stepped in, and he spent a solid ten minutes agonising over which bouquet to get, recalling Robin’s reassurance.
“No girl’s ever upset by flowers.”
Eventually, he left with a bundle of soft-petaled blooms—light pinks and whites and a hint of greenery—and the distinct feeling that his heart might pound its way right out of his chest.
Your shop front, normally inviting, appeared closed from the outside—lights off, sign flipped to “Closed.” He knew you rarely opened on Sundays, which was exactly why he was hoping you’d be here catching up on inventory, or maybe just tinkering with whatever behind the scenes stuff you did. The street was quiet, the afternoon light softer than usual, and he paused at the door, bouquet in hand, taking a quick breath to steel himself.
He knocked gently, three times.
At first, nothing. Then, after a second, he saw movement through the side window: a glimpse of you rounding the corner, curiosity evident on your face—until your gaze landed on him. Even at a distance, he saw your expression flicker between shock and uncertainty. His heart plummeted at the thought that maybe he was the last person you wanted to see right now.
Still, you came over, unbolted the lock, and eased the door open.
“Hey, Steve,” you said quietly, voice uncertain yet polite. “I… wasn’t expecting you.”
His tongue felt like lead.
“Yeah, well, um…” He awkwardly tapped the toe of his shoe on the pavement before glancing down at the flowers. His head spun with everything he wanted to say. “Can I come in?”
Your eyes flicked from the bouquet back to him, and then you stepped aside, nodding.
“Sure.”
As you closed the door behind him, he took in a calming breath. The shop was dim, lit mostly by the fading light filtering through the front windows. It smelled of you in a comforting, barely-there way: a hint of vanilla, maybe a touch of something floral tied with old paper.
“Um,” he started, holding out the flowers. “I picked these up for you.”
You glanced at them, your features melting into something softer. The corners of your lips tilted up in the faintest smile.
“They’re beautiful,” you murmured, reaching for them. He could see the tension easing in your shoulders, though it didn’t vanish entirely.
When you sighed, he braced for the worst—but your voice was gentle. The words leaving you not at all what he expected.
“Listen, Steve, I want to tell you I’m… really sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and if I made you uncomfortable—”
“Hey—” The words rushed out of him before he could stop them. “No, don’t—I’m the one who should be apologising.”
Are you seriously the one taking the blame right now?
“There’s really no need,” you insisted, although your gaze slid away as though you couldn’t quite banish the awkwardness in the air.
He inhaled through his nose, summoning courage.
Here goes nothing.
“I, um,” he said softly, stepping a little closer. “I—I haven’t been—”
He tried recalling every single word Robin had told him—her reminders that you liked him, that a small truth wouldn’t change that. He tried to remember all the pointers his therapist had ever offered about vulnerability and the importance of speaking up, but the moment he lifted his gaze and locked eyes with you, every carefully rehearsed line vanished.
It was just you. Standing there, holding the flowers he’d given you in your gentle grip, your expression open and patient and just the slightest bit worried. The shop’s quiet seemed to magnify the pounding of his heart.
“Listen,” he began, voice trembling despite his best effort. “I… I like you.” Heat rose to his cheeks immediately; God, he sounded like a flustered high school kid. “And I know that’s not—I mean, maybe it’s not what anyone wants to hear. Probably think it’s bull, but I haven’t felt this way in a… in a while.” He swallowed. “Longer than a while, actually. And I—I just don’t want you to be…” He let out a rough breath, tongue tripping over the words. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Disappointed?” You tilted your head, brow creasing.
It was a single word, but it reached right in and squeezed his heart.
He wet his lips. This was the moment—no turning back. He could almost hear Robin’s voice in his head telling him to trust you.
So he did.
“Yeah,” he managed, letting out a humourless chuckle. “I…” His pulse roared in his ears as he extended his arm, tugging at the sleeve of his sweater.
It felt like every second stretched and stretched, infinitely slow, while he carefully eased the fabric up. He revealed the pale, uneven skin on the back of his left forearm.
There, a gnarled mark ran angry and taut, though it had healed better than it once was. It was still jarring against the rest of his skin, as if it didn’t quite belong on his body.
He had half a mind to yank the sleeve back down, to hide it all again. Every nerve in him screamed to do so.
You stepped closer instead, a soft, careful movement that sent warmth fluttering in his gut. he forced a small, shaky smile, even as his voice trembled.
“It, uh, looks worse than it is.” A lie, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully admit the pain buried there. “I just wanted you to know… in case we ever… in case you wanted to…”
He trailed off, heart hammering. The jumble of words in his head was impossible to untangle, so he let them die on his tongue.
Your gaze flicked from the scar to his eyes, and a stillness enveloped the space for a moment. You could see how hard this was for him, and you were doing everything in your power to keep this conversation tender.
“There are more?”
There was no judgment in your tone—just gentle curiosity. He could’ve laughed at how badly he’d feared that question.
“Yeah,” he answered, a quiet, wry chuckle escaping his throat. “Unfortunately.”
You nodded. Your expression was so compassionate it nearly knocked the breath right out of him. There was nothing unfortunate except the pain he had once been in.
“Is this why you said no?”
He felt the tension in his shoulders tighten.
“I—yeah.” In a rush, he continued, “I just wanted you to know what you were getting into. Wanted to… to give you the chance back out.” He swallowed, voice dropping.
Even he could hear the raw, unfiltered insecurity there—every fear he’d harboured for years, twisted into one desperate confession.
He didn’t want you to leave. But if you had to, do it before he fell any harder.
And then you smiled at him—so softly, so gently, it felt like a sunrise breaking through storm clouds. When you spoke, your tone was certain.
You had never been more sure of a decision.
“There is nothing that could make me want you any less, Steve Harrington.”
He felt his chest constrict, tears threatening at the back of his eyes. Every flutter of panic from before turned into a wild, dizzy sense of relief. You—the person who made his heart race just by being—were standing here in front of him, telling him that not even the physical parts of his past could drive you away.
And that was enough to make him break. His eyes burned, blinking back tears before they could spill. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold them back.
You didn’t look repulsed or the littlest bit shocked. You just looked at him the way you always did, like he mattered. Like his fears and his uncertainties weren’t hurdles, just parts of him that you could hold with the same gentleness you held everything else.
You're a fucking dream.
For a few moments, the floral bouquet resting lightly in your arms, his tears barely contained. You tilt your chin up, eyes still carrying that same warmth that makes his knees feel suspiciously unsteady.
“So…” You pause, letting the word hang in the air like a gentle invitation. “Are you busy for the rest of the day?”
He blinks, the question startling him out of his reverie. “Uh…”
There’s that teasing gleam again. You roll your eyes, but it’s playful, a faint smile tugging at your lips.
“Not for that.”
A sharp, nervous laugh escapes him before he can stop it, his cheeks flushing.
“Right,” he breathes. “No—Yeah, I can be free today.” He rubs the back of his neck, feeling that slight scratchiness of the sweater he still hasn’t rolled back down, and a wave of awkward self-consciousness washes through him. “Why?”
Your fingers flex around the stems of the bouquet as you look up at him, so much affection in your expression that he wonders if his heart can handle it.
“Because I want to spend time with you… if you’re up for it.”
A warmth flutters through his chest, soft and giddy, making him feel as though he’s standing on the edge of something hopeful. He wets his lips, nodding.
“I—I’d love that.”
He followed you up the narrow staircase, heart thumping with excitement at being welcomed into your space. It felt surreal, having spent so many days imagining what your home might look like—wondering if it would match the warmth you exuded—and now he was here, taking it all in with wide, fascinated eyes. Almost like the kids in his class.
The flat upstairs was an eclectic oasis of mismatched pillows and faded rugs, vintage trinkets and framed prints. Everything seemed handpicked with care, though there was no strict colour scheme or aesthetic; it was simply you.
Immediately, he found himself smiling. It was like walking into a technicolour daydream, a comforting patchwork of old and new. A soft blanket half-draped over an armchair, a scattering of books on the coffee table, and a hint of something sweet in the air—maybe a candle you’d recently burned.
He was acutely aware that he wanted to brush his fingers across everything, to learn more about you from the objects that made this space yours. Instead, he hovered in the middle of the living area, trying to keep his nosiness in check.
He’d told himself a thousand times not to be weird, but his eyes kept drifting to the shelves crammed with random curios, or the cosy throws that didn’t quite match in colour but somehow still belonged together.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” You turned to him, a gentle smile lighting your features as you placed the bouquet down.
“Yeah,” he answered quickly—too quickly, but he couldn’t help it. The idea of sharing an evening with you, in your home, felt overwhelmingly domestic. “Absolutely,” he added, more composed this time.
“Good.” Your entire face brightened in response, clapping your hands together with an almost mischievous air. Without further ado, you strolled over to the small open-plan kitchen. “That means you get to be my sous chef.”
He walked toward you, leaning against the counter. “Seriously?”
“Oh, absolutely. You don’t eat for free in my house,” you teased, trying to adopt an air of authority. “You gotta work for it.”
Even though you were clearly joking, his chest flooded with warmth.
“Yes, Chef,”
You snorted a laugh at that, pulling open the fridge door and glancing inside.
“Okay… I went shopping recently, so I’ve got a lot of stuff. Definitely vegetables, so maybe we can do something with pasta, or a ratatouille.” You kept talking, your voice lilting with easy excitement. “Are you fussy? I think I have some meat in here if you’d prefer that, or we could make soup—although it was kind of hot today, so maybe soup isn’t ideal. Or we could—”
Your words came out in a single breath, a rapid-fire list of possibilities. It was adorable, watching you in your element: your hair shifting slightly as you leaned into the fridge, rummaging for ideas, lost in your own thoughts. His stomach tightened at how earnest you sounded, so eager to accommodate him.
He stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, feeling the softness of your sweater beneath his palm.
“Pasta’s fine,” he said softly, gently drawing you out of your rambling.
You glanced over your shoulder, cheeks warming just a bit, as though you’d just realised how fast you were talking.
“Yeah,” you agreed, shutting the fridge partway, “okay—pasta. Pasta is safe. Hard to mess up.”
“Hey, you’d be surprised.” He slid over to rest his hip on the counter, tilting his head and letting himself enjoy the way you flushed. “When I was younger, I didn’t realise you had to… y’know, put the pasta in water.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Yep. Didn’t occur to me.” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Threw it straight in the pan.”
“Are you seriously telling me you burnt raw pasta?”
“Look,” he huffed, hands raised in mock surrender, “I am a lot better now, alright?”
“I should hope so,” you teased, a burst of laughter escaping you, brightening the entire flat.
Reaching into the fridge again, you pulled out a bag of fresh vegetables, a small block of cheese, and a carton of cream—handing them off to him. Then you shut the fridge, leaving the two of you close in the small space.
That’s when Steve’s eyes landed on something pinned to the fridge door. A piece of paper, slightly worn at the edges, the pencil lines smudged but still recognisable.
The sketch of you he’d drawn back in his classroom.
He froze, gaze locked on it. The memory flooded back—heart drumming in his chest, trying to capture your likeness with hidden, trembling hands. He hadn’t expected you to care that much about it, let alone display it so proudly.
When you noticed him staring, your expression turned a little bashful, a soft laugh slipping from your lips.
“I… figured it deserved a place of honour,” you teased, brushing a fingertip against one corner of the paper. He could hear the truth behind the joke.
He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, his voice characteristically gentle.
“You kept it?”
“Course I did.” You replied, echoing something you’d once said to him. “Told you I always wanted my portrait done.”
A flush crept up his neck, and he rubbed it awkwardly.
“Yeah, but…” He paused, unsure how to convey the weight of this small gesture. You’d taken a simple drawing—something he hadn’t even considered that good—and made it into a keepsake.
Before he could figure out what to say, you cut in, a casual shrug that did nothing to hide the fondness in your eyes.
“I wanted to put it somewhere I could see it...”
Emotion welled in his chest, warm and insistent. He didn’t say anything right away. All he managed was a small, lopsided smile that hopefully conveyed some fraction of the tenderness he felt.
You felt slightly awkward under his gaze, clearing your throat as you handed him the knife and pointed to the chopping board. Confirming to him you trusted him enough not to butcher your vegetables—or your kitchen.
He lays everything out in front of him, reaching to roll up his sleeves. He hesitates—just for a moment—before deciding to go through with it. There’s no point in hiding now that it’s all out in the open, but the brush of air against his marks still feels foreign.
When he glances at you, you’re not even looking. Not staring, not reacting, not bothered in the slightest. And something about that settles him. He wonders if this is what it could always be like—if, someday, this could be routine. If your space could become a place where he doesn’t have to hide. A place where he can just exist.
He set about dicing an onion, practicing the technique Robin had drilled into him: fingers tucked in, careful horizontal and vertical cuts. It wasn’t Michelin-worthy, but he liked to think he’d developed some culinary skills.
You, meanwhile, grabbed a block of cheese from the fridge and started grating.
“So, I’m guessing you know how to cook a little now, huh?” you asked casually, taking in the even slices of onion gathering on the board.
A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah, I do,” he said, scraping the chopped onion into a neat pile. “Kinda like it, actually.”
“Oh?” you prompted, quirking a brow as though intrigued by this domestic side of him.
“Robin—I’ve mentioned her, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “Well, after she saw what a disaster I was in the kitchen firsthand, basically forced me to learn.”
You laughed gently, the sound like warm honey. “I feel sorry for her.”
“Ouch,” Steve shot you a mock-offended look, then shrugged. “To be fair, she was super patient—more than I deserved sometimes.”
You nodded and he went quiet for a moment, focusing on the task in front of him as memories crowded his mind. He could see Robin’s exasperated grin as she dangled a spatula in front of him, telling him if he didn’t at least stir the sauce, she’d let it burn.
He remembered the nights he couldn’t get out of bed—nights where his own mind weighed him down like lead—and how she would simply appear, commandeer his kitchen, and coax him into joining her.
At first, it had been embarrassing. He hated the thought of needing someone to guide him through the simplest tasks, hated the idea that he was helpless. But Robin had this uncanny knack of turning it into fun—into a moment of victory, however small.
If he managed to perfectly chop a pepper or make a sauce without scalding it, she’d give him a triumphant little fist bump, like he’d just won a gold medal.
Over time, cooking became a small but tangible source of confidence for him—proof that he could create something from nothing, sustain himself with his own two hands.
He cleared his throat, blinking back into the present.
“She didn’t let me off that easy. Dragged me into the kitchen most days—but you know, she actually helped a lot.” He went on, sliding the diced onion into a bowl you’d handed him. “Once she and I got busier, we stopped doing it as much, but…” He gestured around your cluttered kitchen, eyes travelling from the mismatched mugs on your shelf to the bright potholders hanging on the wall. “It’s nice.”
He didn’t say the rest out loud, but you could deduce what he meant. He liked making something, building something. He liked feeling safe.
“You know,” you say softly, glancing up from the cheese you’d just finished grating, “she sounds amazing. I’d love to meet her someday.”
He sets down the knife he was holding, taking a moment to wipe his hands on a dish towel. The genuine excitement lighting his face is almost boyish.
“Yeah, she’d… she’d really like that, actually.” There’s a flicker of pride in his eyes—like he can’t wait to show you off, show Robin that he’s managed to find someone this wonderful, someone who sees him. “She already mentioned wanting to meet you, so we’ll, uh—” He swallows, looking delighted at the prospect. “We’ll plan something. Once we’re, y’know, all free.”
“Hmm,” you give a thoughtful nod, a small smirk tugging at your lips, “so you’ve been talking about me?”
“Uh, yeah?” He immediately flushes, cheeks warming under your gaze. “‘Course I have. Why wouldn’t I?”
You shrug, your eyes dipping away for a half-second before meeting his again.
“It’s just… it’s good to know you’re, I don’t know, serious.”
“Did I make you think I wasn’t?” He asks, a hint of genuine concern threading through his voice. He can feel his heart rate pick up—he doesn’t want there to be any room for doubt.
“No!” You shake your head, flustered. “No—not at all. I just mean—”
He steps closer, determined to chase away any lingering uncertainty in your eyes. He doesn’t know what comes over him—maybe it’s the weight of everything that’s happened today, or maybe it’s the way your voice falters, just slightly, sending a surge of confidence through him.
He feels safe here. Your reassurance settles something in him, makes him bold. And now, he wants to test it. To push just a little further, to see how far this newfound feeling can take him.
To prove—to himself more than anyone—that he hasn’t lost it.
“Because last night,” he says, voice dropping a little lower, feeling how the teasing tone feels on his tongue, “you wanna know what I did?”
He leans in, invading your personal space in that deliberate way that makes your breath catch. Your reply gets stuck in your throat, and you simply blink at him, gaze darting from his mouth to his eyes, waiting.
Gotcha.
He leans down, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he confesses.
“I spent the whole night alone in bed, thinking about what it would’ve been like to have you there with me.”
Your eyes widen, and for a moment, you draw in a quiet, shaky breath.
Christ—confidence looks good on him. The way he’s looking at you, like a man starved, like he’s been holding this back. And now you’re left wondering—has he always felt this way?
With your expression emboldening him, he dips his head to press his mouth to yours. The kiss starts slow, a gentle lingering of lips, but it deepens as he grips your waist. He wants—needs—you to know how fervently he means every word.
He pours it all into the press of his mouth: the latent hunger that’s been building since the first moment he realised how important you were becoming, the searing need to prove that last night was never about not wanting you.
When you make a soft, breathy sound that vibrates against his mouth, his entire body goes warm. His heartbeat pounds so fiercely it’s almost dizzying, and in that moment he’s sure he’s a goner, absolutely done for—you’ve got him.
He tugs back just enough to look at you properly. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes gleaming in the low light of the kitchen, and the sight of you nearly undoes him. You tilt your head, a hesitant little smile ghosting your lips.
“Hey,” you murmur, voice soft but sure, “we don’t have to do anything if you’re not—”
“I am,” he says, voice rough with need. “Fuck—I am.” His hand cradles your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek in a way that makes your lashes flutter. “Do you trust me?”
Your gaze flicks to his, warm and steady. “Yeah. But… dinner—”
He can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes him. Dinner? Only you would be so concerned about practicalities when he’s two seconds from combusting.
Still, he recognises the gentle out you’re giving him, a final check-in to see if he really wants this.
And, oh, he does.
“It can wait,” he promises, dropping his voice to that intimate purr that already makes your stomach flutter. “Please just—please, let me do this for you.”
Let him show you. Let him take care of you.
You meet his eyes, taking in the flush staining his cheeks, the raw want practically radiating off him. You manage a nod, hardly able to get the word yes out before he’s on you again—his mouth against yours with a heat that has you spinning.
It starts hungry, and only grows more desperate when your hands slide up over his shoulders, fingers curling into the short hair at the nape of his neck. A low groan escapes him, his body thrumming with adrenaline and desire.
He forgot how good it could feel, how right it could be, to have someone he wants this badly—someone who wants him just as fiercely.
He crowds in close, big hands gripping your hips firmly, and in one swift motion he lifts you onto the counter. A startled gasp leaves you, and you toss a quick glance around as though you can’t quite believe the two of you are about to do this.
“Here?” you ask, voice breathy with surprise.
“Yeah,” a cocky half-grin tips the corner of his mouth. “Right here.”
Any way he can have you.
Every nerve in his body screams for more contact, more of you—he needs to taste, needs to feel.
He slots himself between your thighs, leaning in again to reclaim your lips. The tension in your muscles loosens as his hands drift beneath your shirt, sliding across the warm plane of your sides. The soft curves and dips of your skin drag a ragged breath out of him, especially when your hips roll against his.
You can’t help the little whimper that bubbles up, and the sound propels him deeper into the kiss. His entire body tingles with awareness of you, from the slight shiver that courses through you at his touch to the way your nails lightly scrape at his scalp.
When your fingers thread into his hair, a deep, full-throated groan vibrates from his chest—he’s powerless to stop it.
That breathy chuckle you give in response makes him shiver. You angle his head, your palm cupping the back of his neck.
“You like that, huh?” you tease, eyes glinting with mischief.
His head falls back slightly as he exhales.
“Fuck—yeah—yes.” He’s beyond self-conscious at this point, need flooding through every cell. He rests his forehead against yours, breathing in the faint scent of your shampoo, before trailing his hand down to the waistband of your jeans.
“Gonna need you to do that again for me,” he murmurs, voice filled with confidence and trembling want.
You blink, momentarily puzzled, until he starts to tug at your jeans, his fingers hooking into both denim and underwear. Then you realise exactly what he means—and you waste no time in helping him rid you of the final barriers standing between his hands and your bare skin.
He tugs the denim down, heart thundering as he sinks to his knees between your thighs. He’s wound so tight he can practically hear his pulse in his ears.
From his vantage point below, he takes in the sight of you, drawn to every curve and line. There’s something indescribably beautiful about seeing you like this, so undone, so ready.
He slides his hands over your legs, fingertips grazing soft skin and eliciting a shiver that makes his chest swell with pride. It’s been so long since he’s done this—too long. The anxious flutter in his stomach almost rivals the heat pooling in his lower body.
But he wants to do this right. Needs to.
When he glances up again, you’re watching him through half-lidded eyes, a flush creeping up your neck. The way you part your lips as you inhale, the anticipation evident in your features—it all spurs him on. He lets out a shaky breath, leaning in to brush his mouth over your inner thigh first, planting a series of teasing, barely-there kisses as he makes his way closer.
Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers curling in a firm but not painful grip. It’s a silent command, a reminder that you’re right there, in this with him.
He shudders at the rush of arousal that flares through him.
“Stop teasing,” you finally mutter, voice edged with impatience.
He flushes hot at your tone—low, wanting, confident.
“Sorry, angel,” he murmurs, the endearment rolling off his tongue like a promise. “Gonna make it up to you, all right?”
For both yesterday, and right now.
You give a quick nod, and he takes that as all the permission he needs. Gently, he lifts one of your legs to rest over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin just above your knee. Then he settles in, leaning forward until he’s exactly where he needs to be.
The first flick of his tongue draws a throaty moan from you, and his own breath stumbles at the sheer erotic charge of the moment. He’s nearly lightheaded with how good you taste, how you respond to every shift of his lips, every press of his mouth.
It’s intoxicating, fueling him to explore every sensitive spot he can find.
“Should’ve done this last night,” in a husky, almost delirious voice. He hates that he ran from you, from this, even for a second. But it’s fueling him now, pushing him to worship every inch of you until he’s certain you’ll never doubt how badly he wants you. “Should’ve had you then,” he breathes, “So fucking stupid.”
Your fingers tighten in his hair, tugging him closer, and he lets out a muffled groan. You’re already trembling under his touch, each quiet whimper echoing in the small kitchen. The tile beneath his knees is hard, but he barely registers any discomfort—he’s too lost in you. The lust is overshadowed by a tenderness, a desire not just to please you, but to prove something to himself.
That he can still be this person.
Then you gasp, hips shifting forward in search of more, and your free hand flies out to grab at his arm. The moment your palm lands on the rough, uneven skin, his stomach lurches.
He half-expects to feel you flinch. But instead, you grip him tighter, holding on as though you need him close. That realisation sends a bolt of raw adrenaline right through his core, and he doubles down, dragging his tongue in deep, purposeful strokes.
Your desperate noises urge him on, and he moves in closer, pressing you more firmly against the counter. The scent of you and the haze of arousal in the air blur his senses. He’s focused on nothing but your pleasure—on coaxing more of those shaky, breathless moans out of you, each one sweeter than the last.
When your fingers tighten again in his hair, he lifts his gaze for a heartbeat, catching the dazed, blissed-out expression on your face, a wave of heat flashing through him,
He’s done for.
He feels the telltale flutter in your core, the way your thighs tense around his head and the broken syllables of his name falling from your lips. His own heartbeat stutters at the sound of you gasping, higher and higher until you’re almost pleading.
“Steve—” you manage, voice trembling on the edge. “I’m gonna—”
He groans low in his throat, pressing in closer.
“Yeah?” he murmurs hungrily. “C’mon baby—please—wanna feel you—”
That’s all it takes for you to come apart, back arching and legs clenching, trapping him in a burst of sensation.
He keeps his mouth moving, coaxing every last pulse out of you. The tight press of your thighs around his head should be suffocating, but to him it’s pure adrenaline. He savours the moment, humming with open satisfaction at how your body shudders under his relentless focus, until you finally push lightly at his head, too sensitive to handle more.
He reluctantly withdraws, breathing heavy as he looks up at you. Your cheeks are flushed, lips parted, chest rising and falling while you come down from your high. For a split second, he stands there on his knees, watching your every expression like you’re the most captivating thing he’s ever seen.
“Was that… all right?” he asks, voice almost shy now that the immediate rush is ebbing, your release still glistening on his chin.
You offer him a dazed little nod, and he can’t help the proud grin spreading across his face as he rises to his feet. The minute his lips touch yours again, you taste yourself on him—a sharp, dizzying reminder of just how thoroughly he’s had you. He smiles into the kiss, smugness in the way his hand cups the side of your face.
Your own hands move with eagerness, tugging at the hem of his sweater. The first spike of panic darts through him, and he tenses.
No. Not Yet.
He knows what it would mean—bared skin, the possibility of further questions, it's unpredictable. His heart thuds as he pulls back minutely, not wanting to flee but unable to hide the flicker of fear in his eyes.
You pause, taking in the hesitation etched across his features.
“Not ready?” you ask, gentle but direct.
His lips part, but no words come out at first. A flush creeps up his neck, embarrassment and self-consciousness colliding in his chest.
“I… I’m sorry,” he finally mutters, feeling every bit as uncertain as he did the night before.
So much for the surge of confidence.
Your brows knit in understanding, and you nod softly. There’s no accusation in your expression, no frustration. Instead, you lean up to kiss him again—light and sweet and reassuring.
“Can I still take care of you?” you whisper when you pull back, searching his gaze.
Take care of him.
“You… you don’t have to do that,” he mumbles, voice rough at the edges.
“I know,” you say, voice calm but insistent. One hand drifts to the fly of his jeans, carefully brushing over the hard outline straining there. He lets out a hiss of breath, tension sizzling through his entire body at the contact.
“I want to,” you continue, thumb tracing a light pattern along the fabric. “Please?” You look up at him, meeting those warm brown eyes, “I want to make you feel good, too.”
And how could anyone say no to that?
“Fuck, angel… all right.” He exhales a shaky laugh, tipping his forehead to yours. “Yeah, all right.”
You free him from his jeans—he’s so hard it almost hurts, and the cool air hits him like a shock. Every nerve ending is lit up, thrumming with excitement and a bit of residual caution. But the second your fingers curl around him, that caution is drowned out by pure pleasure.
His head falls forward as soon as your hand wraps around him, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a low, trembling groan.
It’s been so long since he’s been touched like this, and he can’t contain the steady stream of whimpers and half-broken words spilling from his lips. Every movement of your hand drags another rasping exhale out of him.
“God—” he mutters, voice pitched higher than usual. “You—fuck, you feel—”
His breath hitches again as you start slow, deliberately teasing him. He can’t help the ragged little laugh that escapes, face still hidden against your throat.
“You’re killing me.”
But even then, there’s no mistaking the appreciation in his tone. He likes the way you’re taking your time, savouring the vision of him, watching him go boneless under your touch. His entire body thrums with the urge to thrust into your palm; he’s holding back with every bit of willpower he has, trying not to lose himself too quickly.
When you chuckle softly, your breath hot against his ear, he lets out a needy little sound that he never planned to let slip.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath, shoulders shaking with pent-up tension. “I—I can’t—”
“Does it feel good?” you tease, your voice edging on playful, as though you already know the answer.
“Yes,” he blurts, shoulders jerking as a ripple of pleasure sparks through him. “Yes, it—it’s so fucking good.” His fingers dig into your shoulders, gripping the fabric of your shirt. “Not gonna last—”
You giggle, and he could swear that sound alone just about knocks the air out of his lungs. His hips jerk forward involuntarily, drawing a guttural noise from deep in his chest.
“You gonna cum for me, Steve?” you ask, voice lilting.
Oh, you’re cruel.
That sweet look on your face—so deceptively innocent, when he knows better. Like a siren, the way your voice teeters between soft and sultry, pulling him under, not allowing him to summon a coherent thought.
His cheeks are bright red, eyes shining with a haze of lust. His mouth opens, but he’s too far gone to form sentences, so he just nods, hair flopping into his face in a disheveled mess.
“Yeah,” he breathes, tone shaky. “I’m close—I, shit—”
You give him a knowing, devilish grin and draw him down into a kiss—slow, thorough, open-mouthed. He tries to respond, tries to match your pace, but the rising wave of release scrambles his thoughts and tangles his tongue.
All he can manage are broken moans into your mouth as pleasure overtakes him, and you drink them in eagerly. His orgasm slams into him so fast it nearly buckles his knees, and he grips you tighter, riding out each pulse as it wracks his body.
You keep stroking, guiding him through it, until he sags against you, spent and trembling. His head comes to rest on your shoulder, breath ragged in your ear.
The feeling of you envelops him—your clean hand softly cradling his face, thumb grazing the curve of his cheek. It’s such a gentle, grounding gesture that it helps his racing heart settle.
After a few seconds, he manages to straighten, eyes flicking down to the evidence of his release painting your thighs. There’s a flash of panic in his gaze, but there’s also a thrum of arousal still sparking in his veins at the sight. He fumbles to tuck himself back into his jeans, cheeks more red.
“Fuck—I’m sorry,” he mutters, his voice still rough.
“Shh,” you say simply, pulling him in for a kiss. He melts into it, relieved and just a little awed by how casual and reassuring you seem, like there’s not an ounce of shame. When you pull back, you brush a few strands of sweaty hair off his forehead.
“Did you enjoy it?”
He lets out a huff of laughter—surprised you’d even need to ask. His face is still flushed, and he ducks his head.
“Uh… yeah,” he says, a helpless grin curling his mouth. “Couldn’t you tell?”
“Good.” You give him a knowing smile. “Would’ve broken my heart if I couldn’t do that again.”
“Really?” he asks, blinking in genuine amazement.
“Mhm,” you tease, leaning in to peck him lightly on the lips. “Never gonna be able to cook normally in here again, though.”
That makes him laugh, a loose, buoyant sound that brightens his features.
“Um, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to the bathroom and… clean up a little.” You clear your throat, cheeks still pink. “Before we finish cooking.”
“Oh—shit, of course,” he says hurriedly, stepping back to make room for you. He tries to sound collected, but he’s still a little breathless.
You hop off the counter, bending to gather your discarded clothes. As you head across the room, you glance back, noticing him following your every move. A playful wink from you makes him chuckle under his breath, still riding the high of what just transpired.
Alone in the kitchen, he turns back to the neglected pot and quickly re-focuses himself. With a shaky exhale, he slides the diced onions into it. He sets the knife aside for when you return, mind swirling with the memory of your touch—the same memory that he would certainly be revisiting in the very near future.
When you finally emerge, you’re wearing a pair of soft pajamas—something that looks cosy enough to curl up in. He catches the sight of you out of the corner of his eye and can’t help but beam, feeling that giddy high in his ribs all over again. He steps forward, gently tugging you back to your perch on the countertop.
“Hey now,” you warn, eyes dancing with good humour. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for round two.”
“No—neither am I,” he admits, pressing a quick, warm kiss to your cheek. “But I got this—just sit there and, I don’t know, look pretty.”
Your playful groan of protest is minimal, and he can’t stop smiling as you settle back. You watch him shuffle to the far side of the kitchen to grab a clove of garlic. He’s turning up the heat and chopping again with that same contented hum in his chest, as though he’s stepped into some domestic paradise.
He thinks about how someday, when he’s more at peace with his body, he wants to show you all of himself. He only hopes that next time, he’ll be a little bolder, a little braver—so he can give you everything you deserve.
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