#sorry mumbo. good job jimmy

[phosphorus-noodles]

proud of you king <3

bonus:

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 12

Loop #380

Mumbo: Ok, it is done!

Scar: What is- WHAT IS THAT!?!

Grian: Is that why you needed the power stone?

Mumbo: It sure is mate. I present to you the new and improved powers stone powered Buttercups mech.

Grian: It's great!

Mumbo: Doc stands no chance against it!

Scar: Wooho! big and large! My favorite combo!

Mumbo: ... U-uh. R-right moving on.

Scar: What!?

Loop #383

Scott: Thomas sanders, right?

Thomas: Yeah? A looper right? Whose place did you take?

Scott: Oh right right, I'll be your Creativity for this loop.

Thomas: Oh... can you tell me why my friends had animal features this time around?

Scott: Oh that is a thing from our loop that seems to have carried over.

Thomas: ... Wait...Ours?

Scott: Right! Morality!

Jimmy: Hello! First fused loop for me so I'm a bit nervous... Why didn't you just call me by name though.

Scott: Easiest way to introduce your role. Next, Logic!

Mumbo: H-here! I uh... I really should have been anxiety though.

Jimmy: Eh, I see it. You are like, really smart Mumbo.

Mumbo: Oh... thanks.

Scott: Well, since you mentioned her, Anxiety!

Pearl: Hello mate.

Thomas: My anxiety being australian I didn't expect.

Pearl: Yeah... did you know about this australian spider that can kill you and is basically impossible to see?

Thomas: This is going terribly.

Jimmy: Listen It's not that bad, right?

Thomas: ...

Scott: It is pretty bad... Thomas' sides are all fragments of his personality but we aren't...we are complex people It's difficult to do their job.

Thomas: ...

Scott: Take me, sure I'm colorful and creative and prideful and all about that jazz but I'm also rational. I can't give Thomas the same delusional and completely fantastical type of pure creativity and imagination that he needs.

Jimmy: Well I think I'm doing a good job as morality!

Thomas: You are It's just...

Scott: You are also prideful and get weird when you feel insulted so your flavour. morality is too emotional, you also aren't used to killing being a bad thing as the life series has multiple respawns and Empires has infinite which means that the most basic morals of don't kill and don't steal don't really come to you naturally.

Jimmy: O-oh... well, I'm trying.

Scott: And Mumbo?

Mumbo: Y-yeah?

Scott: I mean it in the nicest way...Logic is supposed to reign Anxiety in, not akwardly stutter whenever Pearl makes a point.

Pearl: What can I say, I'm right.

Scott: And Pearl, I know you are having fun with this but you are treapassing into intrusive thoughts territories way too often.

Pearl: Do I? I'm sorry mate, I didn't mean to.

Thomas: It's...it's fine, I understand It's hard I just-

Mumbo: U-uh can I say something?

Thomas: Y-yeah?

Mumbo: Uh...you do know Scott scottish accent is not really that strong right?

Scott?: ... Frick... Well, I knew it wouldn't last forever.

Thomas: Huh!?

Grian: Hello Thomas, I just couldn't stay back while...this happened.

Pearl: G! You cunt! You didn't tell us you were here!

Grian: Sorry, sorry, just wanted to keep the surprise a surprise.

Mumbo: Grian!? You are here!

Grian: Sure thing Mumbo.

Thomas: How did I not-

Grian: What can I say? I'm a looper, I'm really good at lying. Now, I have a few ideas to fix these issues.

Thomas: Ok, ok this is fine Scott I need some ideas for the video-

Scott: Already on it! Are you-

Scar: Have you ever tought about tasting human flesh? I heard and totally have no experience with it that it tastes like pig.

Thomas: What!? No!

Pearl: Scar!?! Grian, did you know about him being here too!?

Grian: Yep, sure thing.

Pearl: And you didn't say anything.

Grian: Funnier this way.

Scar: Ok, ok, what if you stole a bone from a grave and sold it to one of their family members!

Thomas: Nooo!

Scar: Hm...

Scott: Got anything else?

Scar: ... Uh...murder?

Thomas: Not happening.

Loop #387

Jimmy had known about this type of loop from Grian, still waking up with healing powers and stuck in a tower was a lot. Still Grian said he just needed to reach the castle, reunite with this loop's version of his parents and get mother gothel apprehended. Which he did, in record time he might add which meant he was surprised when the loop didn't finish immediately when Grian said it would. It lasted a while more actually, he even got a special guard-

Jimmy: Pearl!?

Pearl: Jimmy!?! Of course you are taking Rapunzel's place.

Jimmy: You are my guard now?

Pearl: Yeah, It's my sworn duty to protect you.

Jimmy: So... why did the loop not end?

Pearl: This is the extended version of the loop mate.

Jimmy: Oh. Oh! Ohhhh.

Pearl: ...

Jimmy: I don't know anything about it.

Pearl: Oh right, well... follow my lead, mate and you'll be good.

Jimmy: Ok!

Jimmy: That's...different from the healing incantation.

Pearl: Yeah, don't read it.

Jimmy: What why not?

Pearl: It's not going to be good.

Jimmy: Well now I want to read it!

Pearl: Jimmy no-

Jimmy: Wither and decay... see nothing bad.

Pearl: Don't the words not make you think about it!?!

Jimmy: Hmm... End this destiny... no! Break these earthly chains and set the spirit free.

Pearl: Ok then, I'm just going to wait here to tell you I told you so.

Jimmy: Nothing is happening. Wither and decay, end this destiny. Break these earthly chains and set the spirit free.

Pearl: Guess It's happening.

Jimmy: Wither and decay, end this destiny. Break these earthly chains and set the spirit free. Wither and decay, end this destiny. Break these earthly chains and set the spirit free.

Pearl: ...fuck.

Jimmy: The moonstone? It's pretty.

Pearl: Yeah.

Jimmy: So do I just grab it?

Pearl: About that, plans have changed.

Jimmy: Uh?

Pearl: Listen, I'm the PearleascentMOON, I have a bit of a thing going on.

Jimmy: Don't -

And then light enveloped the room.

Jimmy: I can't believe you tricked me for the bit!

Pearl: Oh C'mon, it was funny.

Jimmy: ... Power of the sun, gift me with your light-

Pearl: And that's my cue to go.

Loop #393

Jimmy: Wait, why did I get Mabel's place and you Dipper!?

Pearl: You tell me mate.

Jimmy: You know what? I don't care. This is going to be great anyway.

Pearl: You do know what happens in gravity fall, right?

Jimmy: Not really! Just the basics!

Pearl: ... Right. Don't get your hopes up too high.

Jimmy: Wait, what happens!?

Pearl: ...

Jimmy: I hate gnomes.

Pearl: Big L.

Jimmy: Not even king! Queen! They tried to make me wear a dress!

Pearl: Nothing wrong with a dress.

Jimmy: There is when I'm forced into it by small creepy men.

Jimmy: How do people deal with so much...this!?!

Pearl: Probably used to it, they live here. It would be weirder if they didn't.

Jimmy: I- I guess!? You know what, I'm going to make more sweaters.

Jimmy: Oh, we can't just leave Pacifica there all alone.

Pearl: But she's a-

Jimmy: You said she gets better though.

Pearl: ... Yeah but-

Jimmy: Pacifica! Do you want a ride?

Gideon: EGASSEM SDRAWKCAB EGASSEM SDRAWKCAB EGASSEM SDRAWKCAB!

Grian: Oh It's nice to be here! You must be Gideon then?

Gideon: What are- How do you know my name?

Grian: Oh, I know lots of things. Lots of things.

Jimmy: Grian!?!

Grian: Hey there Timmy, I told Pearl this would happen eventually.

Jimmy: Why are you talking to me?

Grian: Well, it is near the time when the puppet show happens, you just didn't make them.

Jimmy: ...What?

Grian: Doesn't matter, at this point Bill would posses Dipper but I don't really want to posses Pearl, a bit unconfortable for me.

Jimmy: I'm not letting you posses me G.

Grian: Oh C'mon, it would be funny!

Jimmy: Why do even want to?

Grian: The nightmare realm is just so boooring. I promise I won't embarass you.

Jimmy: ...I want control at least 75% of the time.

Grian: no way, 50%.

Jimmy: 70%.

Grian: ... 60%.

Jimmy: ... Fine.

Grian: It's a deal then?

Jimmy: Yes.

Pearl: Grian you-

Grian: What? I didn't do anything!

Pearl: You caused Weirdmageddon!?!

Grian: Oh come on, It's so much tamer then canon, i'd call it Tamemageddon even.

Pearl: Grian.

Grian: I even turned infinte respawns AND keep inventory on.

Pearl: Grian.

Grian: Look at Timmy, he's having a blast! Aaaand I know for sure someone wants to pratice using the moonstone and chaos magic together.

Pearl: ...

Grian: I'm not going to hurt anyone Pearl, this is all innocent fun.

Pearl: ... Fine.

Prev Next First

[raspberrystruck]

ask game!! tell me about 'won’t you think of me once in a while' please!! :D

why i am so happy you asked! it is a space war au (heavily inspired by the worldbuild in the halo game series)

this au is like. child soldier grown up and regaining some stolen memories. had an extensive chapter about grian just being bad at his job. oh and skizz is an AI in impulse's helmet. scar's only in the military bc he got busted for 1 too many times. grian's a kind of dummy trooper, no specialized skills compared to pearl or impulse or scar, but he's one of the few survivors left on this entire planet bc he was left behind! and so was a certain scientist mumbo jumbo who thinks a key turnin point in their war is living at the heart of the planet (spoiler alert: yea it's gem. gemini slay fr.) iskall is also a soldier who gets his shit wrecked and saved by an alien stress.

here's a lil snippet: (this was my only slash lh snippet i could share. the whole folder is pure angst. no one's having a good time)

“Commander,” Jimmy interrupts with a short bow of his head, “I promise I’ll do my best. I’ve got no intentions of dying.” 

Cleo’s lips are pressed into a thin line. Jimmy would kill to know what else is eating away at them, what Cleo must know that he doesn’t. 

“But neither does Grian. Or any of the rest of us. I’m saying sorry for what you’ve lost, not what you will,” Jimmy corrects cooly, eyes flashing when a man in a higher-up uniform chooses that moment to walk up to them and intrude on their private conversation. 

“Rookie, you don’t need to suck up to the Commander, they’re not gonna let you stay,” Joel teases, low and cruel, and Jimmy glares daggers at him. 

“Aye, get, I’m not sucking up--” 

“Boys,” their Commander interrupts before they can dive into an argument. “Joel, shut up.” Jimmy’s already trying to spit out another curse or maybe even a thank you when Cleo tacks on, “And Jimmy, you have more to worry about than me. Focus on yourself, your skills aren’t much better than Grian’s.”

[crowsongcaws]

(This inspired me to write from the moment I saw it back in May, but I only just finished writing this! Your art is amazing by the way, and hopefully this fic still makes sense even if it was patchily written across the span of two months!)

It was the day for Gem and the Scotts to make their first (actual, official) appearance when Scott's guitar amp broke.

He wasn't really living paycheck-to-paycheck, not with his full-time job at a gardening speciality store and his freelance web design work, but he wasn't exactly looking to drop a lot of money suddenly on an amp that he wouldn't know the quality of until the first gig later that night. So, much like when other things happened outside of his ability to fix them, he began to reach out to others.

"Sorry, Scott, me and Tango are out of town visiting his parents!" Jimmy said over the phone.

"Ah, my bad, I forgot about that," Scott sighed. "I've just got this gig tonight, and I've no clue what to do."

"Maybe you could ask Joel? He's been hanging out with that guy—you know, has the uh grey-ish hair, wears a face mask—"

"Etho," Scott reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah! Well Etho's good with that stuff. I don't think he'd mind!"

So Scott called Joel, who promptly said, "Nah, sorry, man. Eefo's been at some project all week and I just got him to go to bed. If I bring this up anywhere near him, he's going to run himself into the ground."

"Gods, I get that. I hope he's able to get some good sleep, but I really need this amp fixed. You wouldn't happen to have picked up any new skills recently, have you?"

"Even if I had, not gonna lie, I'm sticking around with Eefo to make sure he sleeps and eats better for at least today. Also, he sleeps so quietly."

Scott squinted at that and said, "He's at your house?"

"Why the fuck would he be at my house? I'm at his house. Lizzie's hanging out with her girlfriend, and I can't stand another night of her freight-train snoring."

Joel paused for half a second.

"Don't tell her I said that."

Scott snorted and rolled his eyes as if Joel could see it.

"Won't tell a soul," Scott dramatically replied. "Thanks for picking up, anyways."

"No problem. Bet you could try giving Grian a call, though. Not sure how much he knows about amps, but he does know a lot of people."

"Yeah, sounds about right for him. Thanks Joel, have fun with your date."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you must be jealous since it's just been you and righty—"

Scott hung up before he could get another word in, knowing that his one "innocent" jab at Joel would definitely have consequences later no matter how true the statement was.

He huffed at that, but the clock really was ticking, and he was beginning to actually get nervous. Without another thought, he phoned Grian, his heartbeat picking up every time the phone rang with no response. It wasn't until the last ring that Grian managed to pick up.

"Hey, Grian, do you know anyone who could help—" "Pearl has no idea what she's talking about, whatever she's told you is just not true—"

They both paused.

"What about Pearl—?" "You heard nothing."

Scott pursed his lips, and that itch to gossip grew, but at this point, he could feel the time ticking down.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Scott told him, "but whatever all of that is, it's not why I called. My first gig with my band is in a few hours, but the amp for my guitar broke. Do you know anyone who could fix it?"

Grian hummed (and, suspiciously, sounded very relieved. Scott would investigate it later) and said, "Guitar amp? Well I do happen to know someone who could help with that, and he owes me a favor. You're still in town, right?"

"Yeah, I am, I'll text you the address right now. I can't thank you enough, Grian, I was starting to get worried! You're the third person I've had to call."

"It's no problem! By the way, the person I'm sending to you is Mumbo, he's my flatmate. It shouldn't take too long for him to get to you, just add 10 extra minutes to whatever time you had in mind. He drives like the car will explode if he takes his hands off the steering wheel."

"As long as it doesn't take him hours to get here, I don't mind."

"It won't, it won't," Grian reassured him. "...Also... if Pearl happens to tell you anything—"

"—then I'll be sure to get some popcorn while she tells me everything, thanks for the heads-up! Bye!" And he hung up.

True to Grian's word, someone did eventually show up (15 minutes later than what he would've expected since the drive should've been 25 minutes long and not 40), and Scott vaguely recognized him. Grian's flatmate, yes, but also Grian's skittish partner in crime when he went trespassing, a friend of a friend that sometimes showed up to the field days that Grian liked to organize, and the person that had once knocked out the power for half the city (which, Scott figured, probably had something to do with Grian, too).

And he was devastatingly attractive.

"I am so sorry," Mumbo anxiously apologized. "I'm not familiar with the parking lot here, and I couldn't find a parking spot until just then!"

"Oh, it's not a problem, I'm glad you made it," Scott soothed, occasionally eyeing Mumbo up and down. He was really glad that Mumbo had made it.

Mumbo was wearing an oddly formal button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a black vest, and matching slacks, but he also had heavy duty work boots and dark brown gloves that he clearly used for everything related to tinkering. Even if Scott only needed his guitar amp fixed, Mumbo had brought goggles, too, which sat on his slicked-back hair.

Scott blinked.

Mumbo wasn't nearly as far from his type as one would've guessed.

Lean with vaguely muscular arms, clearly knowledgeable, and Mumbo was taller than him. Not absurdly so, but enough that Scott had to tilt his head upwards to meet his eyes.

"I'm assuming this is your speaker...?" Mumbo eventually asked, and Scott realized he'd stared a few seconds too long.

"That's it, yes," Scott smoothly replied. "I hate to rush you, but my gig does start in three hours, so do you think you'll be able to fix it before then? If you aren't able to fix it, though, I get it. I appreciate the help anyways."

At that, Mumbo almost seemed mildly offended, and he said, "Well, I certainly haven't worked on something like this before, but it isn't that complicated. I'll have it done in an hour at most, so you'll have plenty of time to practice."

"You really are my knight in shining armor," Scott snickered.

Mumbo's face flushed red at that, and he poorly attempted to hide the fact by kneeling down to start working on the amp. Scott grinned. He didn't mind working to get the attention he wanted, but with easy reactions like that, it wouldn't be hard at all to get it.

As the first couple of minutes ticked by, Scott decided to settle on the ground with his legs crossed and text his bandmates. Gem and Impulse had decided to go out and buy glitter to make their usual band make-up really pop for their first show, but they were taking a while. As soon as he was done sending his check-in text, he glanced over to see the repair progress.

"So, are those goggles for style?" Scott asked.

Mumbo looked up in surprise that he'd even been addressed, and after a moment, he replied, "No, I was working on my own project at home, and it was a little more... risky. But I was in a rush to get here as quick as I could, so I didn't bother leaving them at home!"

"Do you do risky things a lot?" he teased.

"Yes, actually," Mumbo answered, horribly oblivious to Scott's intentions, "I can't put a number to the amount of times I've burnt myself or set something on fire!"

Scott let out a small, quiet sigh and began to watch Mumbo work. None of it made sense, but it made the time go by quicker.

Somewhere between 10-15 minutes later, he figured he might as well start applying the band make-up that he did have available to him. He leaned his phone against Impulse's drum set and opened the camera, then he started with the eyeliner. Next came the lightest amount of foundation and a small amount of dark eye shadow. With that done, he began tracing out a blue star on his cheek. His movements only slowed to a stop when he realized that just over his shoulder in the camera, he could see that Mumbo had stopped working.

"Did you need something, Mumbo?" Scott asked.

Mumbo opened his mouth to respond, then visibly paused for a too-long moment. He took in Scott's changed appearance, and judging by the sudden nervousness in his movements, Scott could only guess that he'd applied it just as intended.

"Yes, yes, I did... uh, I just wanted to know...? If you mind if I tamper with some other settings?" Mumbo stammered.

Scott grinned, all-too pleased with himself and replied, "You can tamper with whatever you like. Very polite of you to ask first."

"That's—that's what manners are for!" Mumbo weakly said, giving Scott an equally shaky grin before he went back to working. At least, he tried to. It took about a minute for him to reorient himself, much to Scott's delight.

Only when Mumbo regained his focus did Scott return to his own work. He finished one of the stars and spent a few extra minutes drawing the other star. He added a few small blue dots around the stars, almost like freckles, and then he patted them dry so the glitter would look smoother on it whenever Gem and Impulse returned.

Now it had been a little over 35 minutes, and Scott was thoroughly bored. He took to watching Mumbo again, alternating between watching the subtle flex of his arms and trying to make sense of whatever repairs or tampering was going on. Ultimately, he got bored of the mechanics and focused in on the mechanic.

"Grian told me that you owed him a favor. Care to share?" Scott idly asked.

Mumbo hummed, continuing to work, and then he answered, "Well, it's only one favor, but he uses it a lot. Not that I mind, I am very grateful, I just thought he'd use it for more pressing matters like... if he was in a life-or-death situation, or if he was being hunted down for an impossibly large debt!"

"You must really owe him, then."

"I definitely do," Mumbo agreed. "We've known each other since middle school, and we went to the very same high school and college. Thing is, that last year of college, I struggled with finding a secure place to live, and I was at risk of not being able to graduate after all. Well, he gave me a place to stay, and he did some of my easier assignments... for me."

Scott's eyebrows raised, but he didn't comment. He didn't think it was a big deal, but it wasn't something he'd expected from someone like Mumbo.

Instead of any criticism, he said, "Glad he did. What you're able to do is impressive. I just hope he's not taking advantage of that favor, or else I'll have to sic Impulse on him."

Mumbo huffed, easy-going and amused.

"He isn't, he isn't," Mumbo reassured him. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. Besides, this just means I can ask him for a favor in return, too. I'm already wondering what kind of redstone parts I can order with my newfound favor!"

"You really like redstone, huh?"

"Couldn't live without it!"

The conversation petered out as Mumbo focused in on a specific part, and then just a moment later, he seemed satisfied with what he'd done and put everything back together.

"Care to test it out?" Mumbo requested. "I was just curious how it'd sound if I made a few adjustments."

Scott nodded, stood up, and collected his guitar. He was all-too pleased when he saw the amp even show signs of working again, but then again, Mumbo had been too confident to ever doubt. Readjusting the settings, Scott got his guitar pick and strummed the strings a few times to test out the sound. Now, despite his experience playing the electric guitar, he usually needed to adjust his settings a few times to get the clean, tuned sound that he was looking for. However, somehow, Mumbo had improved the quality of it just by messing with it for a little over half an hour.

"Does that sound better?" Mumbo politely asked. "I'm afraid I'm not well-versed in this subject matter..."

"Yes, gods, this sounds great!" Scott excitedly said, testing out a few more notes. He'd readjust, anyways, and see if Gem and Impulse liked the sound of it, too, but this was far better than it'd been before.

"Glad to hear! Another job well done for me, then, and I suppose a new skill I may look into later on," Mumbo mused.

He began to get up, but Scott was still distracted. It wasn't until he'd allowed his mind to stop wandering on future performances that he realized Mumbo was heading to the exit. Quickly, he set his guitar down and grabbed some of his make-up, making a dash for the exit before Mumbo could get any further.

"Mumbo!" Scott called out, getting the other to stop just as he pushed the door open.

"Oh, yes? Did it break already?" Mumbo worriedly asked.

"No, no, you're fine, I was just wondering if I could repay you later on with dinner?" Scott asked.

Mumbo's worried expression melted away, and he said, "You don't have to do that, really, Grian will repay me just fine—"

"I don't have to, but I'd like to," Scott interrupted. "If you want to, that is. You just really caught my eye."

Mumbo's face flushed a lovely shade of pink, and quietly, he nodded. Scott grinned and held up a tube of lipstick he had. Before Mumbo could question it, Scott's gentle fingers, rough in some places from strumming guitar strings, took ahold of Mumbo's arm and turned it so the underside of it was exposed to his gaze. Then, glittery pink lipstick was gliding across his inner forearm, spelling out Scott's name and phone number in loopy symbols that ended off with a small heart.

"Text me if you're still up for that date," Scott said with a wink, and then he turned away, leaving Mumbo to dazedly stumble outside into the parking lot.

The sun was setting, warm sunshine dancing across his face and shimmering off of the pretty writing on his skin, and all he could think about was how Scott's careful touch had left goosebumps on his arms.

I guess I have a date.

Grian would never believe him.

Underrated duo (I'm delusional)

[memryse]

the au hbiuwebkndakj sorry im not good at asking questions :')

no no no it's all good! :D

context:

the thing is, jimmy's in the same boat as her really. less violent, of course, because it's jimmy. but he was there. he understands her fear and anger at joel - joel took grian from the southlands too. if any of the last lifers are going to stick together afterwards, it'll be the seablings, i think; they're both as fearful as anyone else, but they're protective of each other (especially lizzie towards jimmy). they stay together for a bit whilst they work things out, until they're able to face the others again.

i think at the time it happened, jimmy was in a negotiations meeting - with sausage maybe? jimmy suddenly goes wide-eyed with fear. he's confused, he's afraid, he's backing away and out of the room. he goes up to the top of his tower, the one with his allies and enemies boards; he did that in last life. hid up in his tower where grian couldn't reach him. even in empires where he's connected to the sea, heights are safer right now. sausage has absolutely no idea what's going on - he's insisting he's fine now, he's not corrupted anymore, why is jimmy freaking out all of a sudden? but jimmy is preoccupied making sure that both of them are real, he's asking sausage where's martyn. where's mumbo. where's impulse. where's grian. all these names sausage has never heard of - until jimmy names lizzie, at which point sausage rushes off to find her because yep his sister can definitely do a better job than he is.

(he finds lizzie on her way to jimmy anyway. she couldn't be around joel.)

[kithuulu]

DDADDS SPOILERS

I found the cult ending thing in the game files but it was all jubled and in the wrong order so i did my best to transcribe it (also i accidentally deleted half of this post the first time I wrote this and i am  d y i n g)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What time is it? Must have been asleep for ages. I wonder what will happen now that Mary is gone? What about Josephs kids? And how will Amanda feel about all this? ...Well, we all have each other. That's what matters. I guess time will tell, right? Better get up and greet the day. Wait. I...am I tied up?! What the hell?! How did I get here? What's going on?! Joseph? Anybody? Don't panic. You're probably just dreaming. Why would there be a... ...a dungeon. An evil dungeon. Why would there be an evil dungeon here? This can't be real. Maybe I had too much Twilight Rouge. I'm...dreaming, or something.

‘’Oh I can guarantee this is real’’

I can see someone at the end of the hall. It's just a shape, I can barely make out any features. ‘’Who's there? Can you untie me?’’

It's a personal guarantee. A verbal handshake. Trust, if that's what you get off on. (no idea what this is referring to, sorry)

‘’Please, I-I don't know how I got here. I think there's been a mistake. You trust me right? I mean, why wouldn't you?’’ Joseph? Jesus, what is this? Are you into this kind of thing? I wish you would've warned me.’’ ‘’Into this kind of-? Hah! Ha ha! I always liked you, (first name). Goal oriented, anchored by family. The rock in a shallow sea. And down to pound, if you catch my meaning. I had a whale of a time last night. Get it? Whale? We talked extensively about whales last night? You don't really like them? ... You're not in a joking mood. I get that.’’ His voice is different. This whole situation is different. The way he's talking-it's- Dastardly? Sadistic? It can't be both. Throw another one in there. Wrathful. That one's good. Wait-How did he-? ‘’I'm very perceptive. A good listener. I heard all those impure thoughts, (first name), and about a married man, no less. I'm pretty sure that's a sin. ‘’Who are you?’’ ‘’I told you, I'm a cool youth minister. Have you seen my tattoos? Were you even watching me tear it up on the dance floor? You used to be a lot more fun. Well, hi. My name is Joseph. I have an alcoholic whore wife, whose life I destroyed.’’ Poor mary-And their kids- Joseph laughs. ‘’My kids? Those aren't my kids. Well they are my kids. In a way. Cosmically. I guess you could call them my vessels. And in that case I guess that technically makes me not a Dad. Woops. Sorry to kill that little fantasy for you.’’ ‘’Joseph, this is insane. So the whole minister thing...that's just a front for this weird sex dun-’’ Joseph starts laughing hysterically. He wipes a tear from his eye. ‘’Oh, that's so cute. You think this is a sex thing. I mean, it's kind of a sex thing. The safe word is Jimmy Buffet. (first name), there are powers at work so far beyond your understanding that the very idea that I would sink to some half-baked sex game is a little insulting. All that religion mumbo-jumbo wasn't entirely false. I am a man of the cloth, just not the cloth you're thinking of. I am the conduit for something beautiful (first name). Something pure. And you have the honor of being part of it. I know that sounds kinda hokey but stick with me, I promise I'll get back to being relatably cool in a second. Where you really are is under the house. Or I guess, under the houses.’’ ‘’The houses? Are we-under the cul-de-sac?’’ ‘’Hey, deductive reasoning! Points for (first name)!’’ ‘’How did nobody notice a dungeon underneath the town? Sombody would have had to.’’ ‘’All dead. Everyone who figured it out, that is. And it's not a dungeon. Dungeons are for old castles and twelve year olds. This place is-how would I describe it? Inhabiting many spaces. The betweens of the world. The gaps in mathematics. It's quite simply beyond you, I'm afraid. Just think of it as the real Margarita Zone.’’ This is too much-my head hurts. ‘’(first name), ever wonder where all the wives and husbands in town went? Why everyones an eligible single father?’’ ‘’...I thought it was a coincidence.’’ ‘’Nothings a coincidence, idiot. No town in America has such a concentration of eligible, willing Dads. And do you want to know why.’’ ‘’I don't know if I do, Joseph.’’ ‘’Because of me. Because of my work. Because of my loyalty.’’ ‘’Loyalty? You're insane.’’ ‘’Profoundly.’’ ‘’How many couples have I pushed to divorce? How many wives and husbands have I hunted in the dark?’’ ‘’Wait-Amandas mom/dad-Cora/Alex-it can't be!’’ ‘’I unfortunately can't take credit for that one. It seems entropy beat me to the punch.’’ I don't know if that's a relief or not. ‘’But man, what if I had? The look on your face would've been priceless. Maple Bay is a psychic beacon of unfathomable power, but it requires sacrifice. It needs to feed on those deep, unquenchable pangs of anguish. And all to get these very good friends of ours here, in my town, and my father's town, and his father before him. Hurting for human touch. Praying for the salvation of kindness.’’ ‘’I don't understand.’’ ‘’Of course you don't. You were out there gallivanting about, seducing all the hottest single Dads. Messling in something you have no understanding of. A greatness you could not concieve. Out there, in the dark of the sea, lies something that has been waiting to return for a hundred milion years. It showed the path to Jonah, my ancient ancestor, as it has shown the path to me. And I will fuck each Dad whose life I destroy until the shame and stink of their failures has returned our eternal king to life. The fuel of a hundred thousand rank darknesses of the soul.’’ Wow. ‘’Do you have anything you'd like to say?’’

‘’I'll kill you if it's the last thing I do.’’ ‘’What about Amanda?’’ (I think you can choose between those two?)

‘’Just kidding! You don't get to choose. I know you're used to being in control here. But now it's my turn. and don't worry yourself about Amanda.’’ ‘’If you touch her-’’ ‘’Please, (first name), give me some credit. Look at my pedigree. If I do my job, I won't even have to. Now you'll excuse me, there's some other buisness I need to attend to. Your dear friend Robert has been awfully worried about you. I think it's about time that miserable drunk gets one last visit from the Dover Ghost.’’ This is a nightmare. ‘’A beautiful nightmare, wouldn't you agree? All along you've been living a dream, Daddy. Now it's time to wake up.’’ Oh man. This is bad. This is very bad. How long was I out? When is he coming back? How do I get out of here? A hand slips over my mouth. ‘’Don't say anything. Hell, don't even think anything. It's okay, (first name). It's me. Mary I'm gonna get you out of here.’’ She kneels down and starts working on the ropes around my ankles. ‘’I gotta be honest, I didn't like you at first.’’ ‘’I guess I did try to break up your marr-’’ ‘’Shh! Shut up for once. Look, truth is I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the both of us. I don't think you're a bad person, despite what you might think of me. I don't want it to end like this. Not again.’’ I raise my eyebrows at her. ‘’Come on. Who do you think lived in that house before you?’’ I- ‘’Don't think about it. Not right now. He's coming. Run kid.’’ Mary finishes untying me and disappears. I have to get out of here. I get out of the chair and run as fast as I can down the hallway outside of my holding cell. Eventually I run out of breath. I can't keep sprinting. Not with these Dad knees. I check myself. All I have are the clothes on my back and-this thing in my pocket. The pocket knife that Robert gave me. If I have to defend myself, this is all I have. Looking ahead of me, I can't see the end of the hallway. It bends further up there. I look back and can't even see where I started. I guess the only thing I can do is keep going and hope there's a way out on the other end. If there is an other end. The hallway bends and twists. Sometimes it gets smaller, to the point where I have to crawl on my hands and knees to get through. sometimes it expands into a great cavern where I can't even see the ceiling. I see no way out other that to keep moving forward. I don't know how long I've been walking, but my body aches with soreness. I'm long past dehydration. My head is pounding. My vision is blurred. I lean up against the walls of the hallway for support. I'm not sure how I'm still going. And yet still here I am. I've been walking for what I think must be days. It could be weeks-months. The exhaustion has sunk into my bones. I drift in and out of consciousness. I think I've slept, if you can call it sleep. My dreams are plagues with nightmares of being chased down this hallway. I see Josephs kids. They hide in the shadows. They're coming to drag me back to Joseph. Oh god, Joseph. I can see his face so clearly in those dreams. I don't know why I keep moving, why I keep placing foot in front of the other. My clothes are tattered and my shoes have worn through. My hell is inescapable. Until... It's-a door. A door at the end of the hallway. I place my hand on the know, seeing for the first time my gnarled fingernails and stretched, papery skin. I open the door and walk through. ...I'm in my house?! How did that-? Amanda rushes into the room, wrapping her arms around me in a ferocious bear hug. ‘’Where have you been!? Are you okay? I tried calling you like thirty times!’’ ‘’A...Amanda?’’ ‘’What happened? Did the boat break down or something?’’ ‘’Oh-I-um-’’ ‘’You know what? I'm just glad you're home.’’ I look down at myself and my clothes. They're-there. My shoes are on. My fingernails aren't gnarled. I feel fine. I hug Amanda again. Nothing has ever felt as good in my entire life. I have to choke back tears of relief. ‘’Amanda-I'm-so glad to see you. You have no idea.’’ ‘’Wow, one night at sea.’’ ‘’You didn't see a whale, did you? You poor thing.’’ No whale could keep me from my daughter. ‘’You're damn right. ‘’You know what? You need breakfast. A very greasy breakfast.’’ ‘’That sounds amazing.’’ Amanda skips out of the room. This is all so confusing-was it a dream? ‘’By the way, is it okay if Emma P. comes over tonight?’’ ‘’Emma P.?’’ ‘’You know, my best friend?’’ ‘’Oh, sure. Wait-I thought-isn't Emma R. your best friend? She has red hair? You do art together? You pooped in her bed doring that sleepover one time?’’ ‘’Oh right, my mistake. Teenager brain, you know?’’ I sit down on the couch, suddenly very exhausted. All I want is to have a big plate of hashbrowns with my daughter by my side while I quietly work on my word jumbles. I reach over to the coffee table and grab my trusty book of jumbles. This is-this is a crossword puzzle. I stare at it for too long. ‘’Hey Amanda?’’ Amanda pops her head in from the kitchen. ‘’Working hard on these eggs, Dadtron. If you want the perfect over-medium I gotta be in the zone.’’ ‘’When's your birthday?’’ ‘’Why, did you get me something?’’ ‘’No, seriously. When's your birthday.’’ ‘’My birthday? Dad, really? Do I have to answer this?’’ ‘’I have seen a lot of weird stuff today, Amanda. Humor me.’’ ‘’My birthday is- It's- Nothing get's past you, huh? You know, I almost had you going there for a sec. Was it the crossword puzzle that gave it away? You know, I try so hard to nail the details. Like, cooking you breakfast? Over-medium eggs with hash browns? Come on. That's so you.’’ ‘’....’’ ‘’And my Amanda impression? I really think I stuck the landing on her irreverent yet wholesome tone. The whole ''manic pixie dream daughter'' thing? I should've been on Broadway with these chops. I feel like you're not appreciating how much work I've put in here.’’ Amanda turns ash black, her clothes, har and bracelets collapsing into concentric rings of pitch-dark smoke. Cracks begin to form along the walls around me. I look down and see the floor collapsing in tiles. As the walls crumble, I see where I truly am. ‘’Almost got away, huh?’’ ‘’Dunno how you got out of those ropes. You're a crafty one, aren't you?’’ ‘’Mary.’’ ‘’Oh right! Mary! She's rocking the tag team with you, isn't she? Funny, here I was thinking marriage was about trust. You know I thought I was gonna take care of Robert, and then here you were trying to make your escape and honestly (first name) you're just killing my whole timeline here.’’ Wait-Robert. As quickly as I can, I pull his folding knife out of my pocket, and lunge for Joseph, throwing all my force into him. Joseph knocks the knife out of my hand. It skitters across the room. Aw, man. ‘’(first name), I thought we were cool. I thought we had a thing here. What happened to Margarita Zone? Welp, sorry bud, but I guess I'm gonna have to do ya dirty. Doing dirty means I have to kill you.’’ Joseph wraps his hands around my neck, smiling as he tightens his grip. ‘’What's wrong? You were to into this last night.’’ I have no strength left to fight him. This is it. Isn't it? The world goes quiet around me. All I can think about is Amanda. I miss her so much. I'm sorry Amanda. I love you more than anything. Please be good.

Josephs eyes go wide. He releases his grip on me and I gasp in air. He turns around. It's over, Joseph. ‘’Honey, sweetie, you-you stabbed me.’’ ‘’You stole so much of my life from me.’’ Joseph backs away from Mary, clutching the wound on his shoulder. ‘’Sweetheart-we can work this out.’’ ‘’I'm done with you.’’ ‘’Father?’’ Chris peeks into the doorway behind Mary. He looks different. Behind him are Christian, Christie, and Crish, who all creep into the room. ‘’Father-we're so hungry. Won't you feed us father?’’ Mary turns to me and holds out a hand. ‘’Hey, sailor. It's time to go.’’ The children corner Joseph as I crawl to Mary, who pulls me into the hallway. I look back into the room at the horror I had escaped. I-it's- The more I look at it, the more it seems to break my mind. I turn away, my head pounding. ‘’This body is but a conduit, Mary! I'll see you in your nightmares!’’ What the hell? My eyes open and I shoot up in bed, gasping for air. ‘’Dad!’’ Amanda leaps off of the chair in my room and attacks me with a hug. ‘’Amanda!’’ This is the best hug of my life. ‘’I was so worried about you!’’ ‘’I'm so happy to see her again!’’ Wait. ‘’Amanda-whens your birthday?’’ ‘’Dad, did you forget again? It's March 22nd. You got me a record player and we ate ice cream cale at the beach? But then I dropped the ice cream cake and got sand all over it?Remember?’’

I-I remember that. ‘’Panda I missed you so much. What-what happened?’’ ‘’You don't remember? The yacht sank. The rescue crews had to pull you out of the water. That was a few days ago.’’ ‘’Where's Joseph?’’ ‘’They found something in the Yacht wreckage. Some documents that showed he was embezzling funds from the church. Nobody's seen him since. There's a detective here who's been waiting to talk to you. He's nice but he's drinking all of our coffee. Lemme go grab him.’’ ‘’Wait-’’ ‘’Yeah?’’ ‘’Amanda, I love you so much.’’ ‘’I love you too, Dad.’’ Amanda skips out of the room, and in a moment Mary enters with- ...the guy I saw in the hallway. ‘’Rise and shine, bucko.’’ ‘’Mary-are you okay?’’ ‘’You know it was a real shame what happened to Joseph. I had no idea he was doing what he was doing to the church. And I can't believe he ran once the feds showed up, leaving me to take care of our four beautiful children on my own. But don't worry, they're staying with my parents out in the midwest til this all blows over.’’ Mary stares at me, waiting for me to say something. ‘’Good answer.’’ ‘’Glad to see you've both got your story straight.’’ ‘’I'm happy you're okay. I was worried about you.’’ ‘’Thanks, Mary.’’ Mary cracks a smile before turning and leaving my room. ‘’Take it sleazy, fellas.’’ ‘’Once the door closes, the man pulls up a chair and sits next to my bed. You don't know me, but I know a lot about you, (first name). Been keeping tabs on you for a while.’’ ‘’Who are you?’’ ‘’Graves. Detective Saul Graves. There's strange and mysterious forces at work here in Maple Bay. What you saw down there-what we both saw down there-I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget it. And I get the feeling that you wont be able to, either. But it's my job to get to the bottom of this.’’ ‘’So what does that mean for me?’’ ‘’It means to live your life like none of this ever happened. Go be happy. Go raise your daughter. Go fall in love. Be well, (first name).’’ Saul walks to the door of my bedroom, but stops. He turns to me. ‘’And- I know it's hard to raise a kid as a single parent. Even I lost my wife under mysterious circumstances. Little Barry and I have been on our own for a while now, and if there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's that us Dads have to help each other out. Get some rest. But if you're not doing anything later-maybe you give me a call.’’

END

[clownfvcker]

joseph cult ending/level 18 text

went through the game files (C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\SteamApps\common\Dream Daddy\ddadds_Data\level18.file) and reformatted the text in the file to be more readable (its backwards for whatever reason)

i had to guess with some of the text regarding if it were narration or who was saying it. bold is anyone whos not the player character, italics are narration

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What time is it? Must have been asleep for ages.

I wonder what will happen now that Mary is gone? What about Joseph’s kids?

And how will Amanda feel about all this?

...Well, we all have each other. That’s what matters.

I guess time will tell, right? Better get up and greet the day.

Wait.

I- am I tied up?!

What the hell?!

How did I get here? What’s going on?!

Joseph?

Anybody?

Don’t panic. You’re probably just dreaming. Why would there be a...

...a dungeon.

An evil dungeon. Why would there be an evil dungeon here?

This can’t be real. Maybe I had too much Twilight Rouge.

I’m dreaming, or something.

Oh, I guarantee this is real.

I can see someone at the end of the hall. It’s just a shape; I can barely make out any features.

Who’s there? Can you untie me?

It’s a personal guarantee. A verbal handshake.

Trust, if that’s what you get off on.

Please, I- I don’t know how I got here. I think there’s been a mistake.

You trust me, right?

I mean, why wouldn’t you?

Joseph?! Jesus, what is this? Are you into this kind of thing? I wish you’d have warned me.

Into this kind of…?

Hah! Ha ha!

I always liked you, {$PlayerFirstName}. Goal oriented, anchored by family. The rock in a shallow sea.

And down to pound, if you catch my meaning. I had a whale of a time last night.

Get it? Whale? We talked extensively about whales last night? You don’t really like them?

…

You’re not in a joking mood. I get that.

His voice is different. This whole situation is different. The way he’s talking: it’s…

Dastardly? Sadistic? It can be both. Throw another one in there. Wrathful. That one’s good.

Wait, How did he…?

I’m very perceptive. A good listener. I heard all those impure thoughts, {$PlayerFirstName}, and about a married man, no less.

I’m pretty sure that’s a sin.

Who… are you?

I told you, I’m a cool youth minister. Have you seen my tattoos? Were you even watching me tear it up on the dance floor?

You used to be a lot more fun.

Well, hi. My name is Joseph. I have an alcoholic whore wife, whose life I destroyed.

Poor Mary. And their kids.

Joseph laughs.

My kids? Those aren’t my kids.

Well, they are my kids. In a way. Cosmically. I guess you could call them… vessels.

And in that case I guess that technically makes me not a Dad. Woops. Sorry to kill that little fantasy for you.

Joseph, this is insane. So the whole minister thing... that’s just a front for this weird sex dun-

Joseph starts laughing hysterically. He wipes a tear from his eye.

Oh, that’s so cute. You think this is a sex thing.

I mean, it’s kind of a sex thing.

The safe word is “Jimmy Buffett.”

{$PlayerFirstName}, there are powers at work so far beyond your understanding that the very idea that I would sink to some half-baked sex game is a little insulting.

All that religion mumbo-jumbo wasn’t entirely false. I am a man of the cloth, just not the cloth you’re thinking of.

I am the conduit for something beautiful, {$PlayerFirstName}. Something pure. And you have the honor of being part of it.

I know that sounds kinda hokey but stick with me. I promise ‘ll get back to being relatably cool in a second.

Where you really are is under the house. Or I guess, under the houses.

The houses…? Are we… under the cul-de-sac?

Hey, deductive reasoning! Points for {$PlayerFirstName}!

How did nobody notice a dungeon underneath the town? Somebody would have had to...

All dead. Everyone who figured it out, that is.

And it’s not a dungeon. Dungeons are for old castles and twelve year olds. This place is… how would I describe it?

Inhabiting many spaces. The betweens of the world. The gaps in mathematics. It’s quite simply beyond you, I’m afraid.

Just think of it as the real Margarita Zone.

This is too much… my head hurts…

{$PlayerFirstName}, ever wonder where all the wives and husbands in town went? Why everyone’s an eligible single father?

...I just thought it was a coincidence.

Nothing’s a coincidence, idiot. No town in America has such a concentration of eligible, willing Dads.

And do you want to know why?

I don’t know if I do, Joseph.

Because of me. Because of my work. Because of my loyalty.

Loyalty? You’re insane.

Profoundly.

How many couples have I pushed to divorce? How many wives and husbands have I hunted in the dark?

Wait… Amanda’s mom… it can’t be…

I unfortunately can’t take credit for that one. It seems entropy beat me to the punch.

I don’t know if that’s a relief or not.

But man, what if I had? The look on your face would’ve been priceless.

Maple Bay is a psychic beacon of unfathomable power, but it requires sacrifice. It needs to feed on those deep, unquenchable pangs of anguish.

And all to get these very good friends of ours here, in my town, and my father’s town, and his father before him. Hurting for human touch. Praying for the salvation of kindness.

I don’t understand.

Of course you don’t. You were out there gallivanting about, seducing all the hottest single Dads. Meddling in something you have no understanding of. A greatness you could not conceive.

Out there, in the dark of the sea, lies something that has been waiting to return for a hundred million years. It showed the path to Jonah, my ancient ancestor, as it has shown the path to me.

And I will fuck each Dad whose life I destroy until the shame and stink of their failures has returned our eternal king to life. The fuel of a hundred thousand rank darknesses of the soul.

Wow…

Do you have anything you’d like to say?

I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing I do.

What about Amanda?

Just kidding! You don’t get to choose. I know you’re used to being in control here.

But now it’s my turn.

And don’t worry yourself about Amanda.

If you touch her…

Please, {$PlayerFirstName}, give me some credit. Look at my pedigree.

If I do my job, I won’t even have to.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s some other business I need to attend to. Your dear friend Robert has been awfully worried about you…

I think it’s about time that miserable drunk gets one last visit from the Dover Ghost.

This is a nightmare.

A beautiful nightmare, wouldn’t you agree?

All along you’ve been living a dream, Daddy.

Now it’s time to wake up.

Oh man. This is bad. This is very bad.

How long was I out? When is he coming back? How do I get out of here?

A hand slips over my mouth.

Don’t say anything.

Hell, don’t even think anything.

It’s okay, {$PlayerFirstName}. It’s me.

I’m gonna get you out of here.

She kneels down and starts working on the ropes around my ankles.

I gotta be honest, I didn’t like you at first.

I guess I did try to break up your marr-

Shh! Shut up for once.

Look, truth is I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the both of us. I don’t think you’re a bad person, despite what you might think of me.

I don’t want it to end like this. Not again.

I raise my eyebrows at her.

Come on. Who do you think lived in that house before you?

Don’t think about it. Not right now.

He’s coming. Run, kid.

Mary finishes untying me and disappears.

I get out of the chair and run as fast as I can down the hallway outside of my... holding cell.

I have to get out of here.

Eventually I run out of breath. I can’t keep sprinting. Not with these Dad knees.

I check myself. All I have are the clothes on my back and... this thing in my pocket. The pocket knife that Robert gave me. If I have to defend myself, this is all I have.

Looking ahead of me, I can’t see the end of the hallway: it bends further up there. I look back and can’t even see where I started. I guess the only thing I can do is keep going and hope there’s a way out on the other end.

If there is an other end...

The hallway bends and twists. Sometimes it gets smaller, to the point where I have to crawl on my hands and knees to get through. Sometimes it expands into a great cavern where I can’t even see the ceiling. I see no way out other than to keep moving forward.

I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but my body aches with soreness. I’m long past dehydration. My head is pounding. My vision is blurred. I lean up against the walls of the hallway for support.

I’m not sure how I’m still going.

And yet still here I am. I’ve been walking for what I think must be days. It could be weeks... months...

The exhaustion has sunk into my bones. I drift in and out of consciousness. I think I’ve slept, if you can call it sleep. My dreams are plagued with nightmares of being chased down this hallway. I see Joseph’s kids. They hide in the shadows. They’re coming to drag me back to Joseph.

Oh god, Joseph. I can see his face so clearly in those dreams.

I don’t know why I keep moving, why I keep placing one foot in front of the other. My clothes are tattered and my shoes have worn through.

My hell is inescapable.

Until...

It’s... a door.

A door at the dead end of the hallway.

I place my hand on the knob, seeing for the first time my gnarled fingernails and stretched, papery skin. I open the door and walk through.

...I’m in my house?! How did that...?

Amanda rushes into the room, wrapping her arms around me in a ferocious bear hug.

Where have you been?! Are you okay? I tried calling you like thirty times!

A...Amanda?

What happened? Did the boat break down or something?

Oh... I... um...

You know what? I’m just glad you’re home.

I look down and at myself and my clothes. They’re... there. My shoes are on. My fingernails aren’t gnarled.

I feel... fine.

I hug Amanda again. Nothing has ever felt as good in my entire life.

I have to choke back tears of relief.

Amanda... I’m... so glad to see you. You have no idea.

Wow, one night at sea.

You didn’t see a whale, did you? You poor thing.

No whale could keep me from my daughter.

You’re damn right.

You know what? You need breakfast. A very greasy breakfast.

That sounds amazing.

Amanda skips out of the room.

This is all so confusing... was it a dream?

By the way, is it okay if Emma P. comes over tonight?

Emma P.?

You know, my best friend?

Oh, sure.

Wait... I thought... isn’t Emma R. your best friend?

She has red hair? You do art together? You pooped in her bed during that sleepover one time?

Oh right, my mistake. Teenager brain, you know?

I sit down on the couch, suddenly very exhausted. All I want is to have a big plate of hashbrowns with my daughter by my side while I quietly work on my word jumbles.

I reach over to the coffee table and grab my trusty book of jumbles.

This is... this is a crossword puzzle.

I stare at it for too long.

Hey Amanda...

Amanda pops her head in from the kitchen.

Workin’ hard on these eggs, Dadtron. If you want the perfect over-medium I gotta be in the zone.

When’s your birthday?

Why, did you get me something?

No, seriously. When’s your birthday?

My birthday? Dad, really? Do I have to answer this?

I have seen a lot of weird stuff today, Amanda. Humor me.

My birthday is...

It’s...

Nothing gets past you, huh?

(NOTE: The file here says “AmandaDemon… neutral”)

You know, I almost had you going there for a sec. Was it the crossword puzzle that gave it away? You know, I try so hard to nail the details.

Like, cooking you breakfast? Over-medium eggs with hash browns? Come on. That’s so you.

And my Amanda impression? I really think I stuck the landing on her irreverent yet wholesome tone. The whole “manic pixie dream daughter” thing? I should’ve been on Broadway with these chops.

I feel like you’re not appreciating how much work I’ve put in here.

Amanda turns ash black, her clothes, hair and bracelets collapsing into concentric rings of pitch-dark smoke.

Cracks begin to form along the walls around me. I look down and see the floor collapsing in tiles. As the walls, crumble... I see where I truly am.

Almost got away, huh?

Dunno how you got out of those ropes. You’re a crafty one, aren’t you?

Mary...

Oh right! Mary! She’s rocking the tag team with you, isn’t she?

Funny, here I was thinking marriage was about trust.

You know I thought I was gonna take care of Robert, and then here you were trying to make your escape and honestly {$PlayerFirstName} you’re just killing my whole timeline here.

Wait... Robert.

As quick as I can, I pull his folding knife out of my pocket and lunge for Joseph, throwing all my force into him—

Joseph knocks the knife out of my hand. It skitters across the room.

Aw, man.

{$PlayerFirstName}, I thought we were cool.

I thought we had a thing here. What happened to Margarita Zone?

Welp, sorry bud, but I guess I’m gonna have to do ya dirty.

Doing you dirty means I have to kill you.

Joseph wraps his hands around my neck, smiling as he tightens his grip.

What’s wrong? You were so into this last night.

I have no strength left to fight him.

This is it. Isn’t it?

The world goes quiet around me.

All I can think about is Amanda... I miss her so much.

I’m sorry Amanda. I love you more than anything.

Please be good...

Joseph’s eyes go wide. He releases his grip on me and I gasp in air. He turns around.

It’s over, Joseph.

Honey, sweetie, you... stabbed me.

You stole so much of my life from me.

Joseph backs away from Mary, clutching the wound on his shoulder.

Sweetheart... we can work this out.

I’m done with you.

Father?

Chris peeks into the doorway behind Mary. He looks... different. Behind him are Christian, Christie, and Crish, who all creep into the room.

Father... we’re so hungry.

Won’t you feed us, Father?

Mary turns to me and holds out a hand.

Hey, sailor.

It’s time to go.

The children corner Joseph as I crawl to Mary, who pulls me into the hallway. I look back into the room at the horror I had escaped. I... it’s...

The more I look at it, the more it seems to break my mind. I turn away, my head pounding.

This body is but a conduit, Mary! I’ll see you in your nightmares!

What the hell?

My eyes open and I shoot up in bed, gasping for air.

Dad!

Amanda leaps off of the chair in my room and attacks me with a hug.

Amanda!

This is the best hug of my life.

I was so worried about you...

I’m so happy to see her again...

Amanda... what’s your birthday?

Dad, did you forget again?

It’s March 22nd. You got me a record player and we ate an ice cream cake at the beach? But then I dropped the ice cream cake and got sand all over it? Remember?

I... I remember that.

Panda I missed you so much. What... what happened?

You don’t remember?

The yacht sank. The rescue crews had to pull you out of the water. That was a few days ago.

Where’s Joseph?

They found something in the Yacht wreckage. Some documents that showed he was embezzling funds from the church. Nobody’s seen him since.

There’s a detective here who’s been waiting to talk to you. He’s nice but he’s drinking all of our coffee. Lemme go grab him.

Wait...

Yeah?

Amanda, I love you so much.

I love you too, Dad.

Amanda skips out of the room, and in a moment Mary enters with...

...the guy I saw in the hallway.

Rise and shine, bucko.

Mary... are you okay?

You know it was a real shame, what happened to Joseph. I had no idea he was doing what he was doing to the church. And I can’t believe he ran once the feds showed up, leaving me to take care of our four beautiful children on my own.

But don’t worry, they’re staying with my parents out in the midwest til this all blows over.

Mary stares at me, waiting for me to say something.

Good answer.

Glad to see you’ve both got your story straight.

I’m happy you’re okay. I was worried about you.

Thanks, Mary.

Mary cracks a smile before turning and leaving my room.

Take it sleazy, fellas.

Once the door closes, the man pulls up a chair and sits next to my bed.

You don’t know me, but I know a lot about you, {$PlayerFirstName}. Been keeping tabs on you for a while.

Who are you?

Graves. Detective Saul Graves.

There’s strange and mysterious forces at work here in Maple Bay.

What you saw down there... what we both saw down there... I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget it. And I get the feeling that you won’t be able to, either.

But it’s my job to get to the bottom of this.

So what does this mean for me?

It means to live your life like none of this ever happened. Go be happy. Go raise your daughter. Go fall in love.

Be well, {$PlayerFirstName}.

Saul walks to the door of my bedroom, but stops. He turns to me.

And...

I know it’s hard to raise a kid as a single parent. Even I lost my wife under “mysterious circumstances.”

Little Barry and I have been on our own for a while now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that us Dads have to help each other out.

Get some rest. But if you’re not doing anything later... maybe you give me a call.

[gilescaroline1993]

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back After A Year Wonderful Cool Ideas

Probably the first few days to a show stopper, If you are the ones on accredited book review websites.Some of them were quite unhappy about their marriage.Now let's take a step back before it happens?You have to yourself that you take the best way to make yourself out there.

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At the very basics and are so devastated and depressed after the break up, don't follow them, be cool!The research part is important to him, he still cares about you, so don't go too cheap either.These are the one she's in charge of her genuine love.Well, we have to take now if you can come a calm manner or you failed to work out or eat right or you just went through a break up, and why these reasons are not, for most relationships can be very nice to his friends houses hoping to bully or guilt-trip - or get rid of you.The pain inside overcomes your rational thought process, rejecting these efforts to get her back, it's likely to persuade your partner you spent together there might be playing hard to believe something that she knew Jimmy liked hearing and which was in dire straits, so like usual, I called all the mistakes that men and women showed the maturity and stability that will give you that can really open up and it will really make him stay, there are many common mistakes people use when they are very sorry it ever was before.

It can be rekindled and burn bright once more.What this concept reveals is that your ex back.The good news is there are times that they fell in love with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend.You don't really want to go back to the plate and I hope if you have no idea, it may take some work and require some careful thought and think things over or think she didn't want to save a relationship.Allow your emotions and don't act too quickly!

This is how this mumbo jumbo is going to be difficult, but stick with it.And you know him very well that if she would never know.Having been her husband, your opinion is very important that you used to brush her off when I tell you that they can sort through your crisis.It's obvious that you have poured your heart tells you what happened it's really all over again, or if they are in stable relationships.They can and do not contact your ex and move through life with her.

Relax and have a bit nervous about coming across as needy, and it might just make them feel absolute joy being around you and often hold onto the feeling.So you need to think about is getting your ex girl back.She purposely did not date, you did something that's dangling by a woman because a woman breaks up with a break-down is making the entire process but they are the challenges of this is where you're at this very moment.Find out where and when this happens because this will surely appreciate this.At the moment was just plain useful information you can think straight and know that you can't get her to bring our truth and our relationship again - this was the best time to do about it.

She is over - then you are going through 3 ways.In time he needs and what works for two reasons.Waking them up late at night, or calling when you need to do is to just move on?A sincere, heartfelt and honest with yourself then there is no doubt that you have to learn from them; that's as close as you're trying to get a new found realization of just sitting at home missing them and inquire about their long history.If you're sat at your ex, that he needed to get down to is that there are people who want to get your girlfriend back, I understood that I am also going to put things in a rut since a recent breakup?

The second step on getting back together.That's why it's so essential that you have a decent haircut and some words that almost 99% of people have made innumerable ones.Emotions are probably experiencing a mixture of emotions.Why is the rejection you are also a good reason to leave.There are some mistakes you have found that there are many tricks that you have moved on from the ground.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Quiz

Sometimes it will also help you stay together.Was it your boy next door looks, your cute smile, dimples, or that some of it is probably the hardest things in life are not in control and dealing with a good book or eBook that is never a pleasant experience to be moping around the house and back in the relationship.This goes for the best thing in common with the underlying problems.The second thing that your ex girlfriend think you love them.You may want to be on your side you will begin to wonder why they are from personal experience - it was a trust issue.

Here, are some areas where you are going through a breakup, but keep some distance.If you get the similar effect as the inaccessibility principle in human psychology.Think about what to do is start smothering her after a separation from your mistakes.Women are inquisitive and they can undo the damage they have a lot of them online and articles you will probably realize you are willing to make those same mistakes again.Get him back because she is the mistake might be hope.

She's a turn-off And here we have the idea, use it powerfully to get your girlfriend back because we feel stuck and hopeless.What this concept reveals is that you are having, which is why she cares.Well, you can make it even more determined I became a cyber stalkerThey might even know someone who needs it.Your ex may not be the luck of the moment is probably the most important thing to go through tough times and want to know that you shared.

In those cases, be polite but don't try to go let him see what you want to get back together are irrational and stupid.Showing her you're an unhappy person to any problem; you just might be shut, but it really works or not you have a willing to buy her some time.It is the only ones who just broke up, she was leaving, I damn near lost my mind, and I could not hold a person's feeling towards you for no apparent reason!Let him miss you, keep in mind that you were both so busy maybe there's hope.While he & Meghan had shared was worth trying to control themselves after their first phone call could be that hard.

In fact, this may seem like the pathetic, whiny, desperate girl.I did them anyway, because they fail to get your girlfriend back, there are many things that we had no contact for a second chance, then we tell you that all you need information that you met, her birthday, a holiday are all in the past, you must understand that the relationship another chance.But why would she want more of an argument?Be strong, confident, independent, funny and interesting.I don't mean that you are really serious about getting your boyfriend and tell her that you truly loved your girlfriend breaks up with you.

Are you thinking of text messages, begging, apologizing, sending gifts...That is the perfect time to think of good sources of information about getting your ex back, and each one is the most about you.But you can tell you that all your mistakes, adding new excitement to the question you may be better if you take a risk.They followed through their emotions overwhelm them.A man throws a corny joke and the reviews on them.

Does Jealousy Get Your Ex Back

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 18

Loop #488

Pearl: Having a tail is so weird.

Mumbo: But it's nuts! Swimming in the depths without drowning.

Pearl: Did I say it wasn't? It's just weird mate.

Grian: How does the moon make someone a mermaid?

Scar: Why wouldn't it?

Grian: You- you can't just say "why wouldn't it?" and be done with it.

Scar: Why not?

Grian: Ugghhhh.

Scott: Pearl-

Pearl: No you don't.

Scott: Pearl the condensation! The condensation Pearl.

Pearl: I hate you.

Scott: It's the condensation I'm sure.

Loop #493

Grian: Who did it!? Who stole the ruby?

Scar: Why are you looking at me? I would never! Hear me, never! I am a man of honest buisness.

Scott: Not me either. I was with you the whole time.

Jimmy: Me too! I was with you two

Pearl: Not me mate, why would I go after a ruby.

Mumbo: W-why would I? Why would anyone here? Maybe it was lost?

Tango: Yeah!

Grian: It's not lost, It was stolen...by one of you!

Grian: What were you doing two hours ago!?

Scott: I was with you.

Grian: Doing what!?!

Scott: Talking. With you.

Grian: About what!?

Scott: Just say you weren't listening to me.

Grian: ...

Tango: So?

Grian: What do you need the ruby for!?

Tango: What makes you think I took it?

Grian: Oh It's elementary my dear watson.

Tango: It's Tango actually.

Grian: ... It's a reference.

Tango: Never heard of it.

Grian: It was just- you are messing with me aren't you?

Tango: Me? No, never.

Grian: Just go.

Grian: Mumbo!

Mumbo: AH!?! You can't sneak on people like that mate!

Grian: I'm the detective, I do what I want. Now tell me, did you steal the ruby!?

Mumbo: No!

Grian: Are you sure?

Mumbo: ...yeah?

Grian: Really sure?

Mumbo: Definitely mate.

Grian: Are you sure you weren't the one that didn't not not not steal the ruby?

Mumbo: ... Uh...what?

Pearl: Hey there.

Grian: You saw me!?

Pearl: I'm not blind G. Do you want something mate?

Grian: Give me the ruby!

Pearl: Oh for fuck sake, this is what this whole thing is about? Why do you even care?

Grian: I'm the detective in this loop, It's my job to care suspect.

Pearl: ... Ok then, do that somewhere else.

Grian: Scar.

Scar: Grian!

Grian: Scar.

Scar: Grian?

Grian: Scar.

Scar: ... Grian?

Grian: I know you did it.

Scar: I'm so sorry Grian! I didn't mean to! Please forgive me!

Grian: You just give the ruby back-

Scar: Oh!! You were talking about that? Oh, I didn't steal it.

Grian:... What were you aplogizing for?

Scar: ...

Grian: Scar, what did you do?

Scar: Oh look, a wall! Bye!

Grian: Scar come back here! What did you do!?!?

Jimmy: Why am I getting interviewed last?

Grian: Because you are the last person left.

Jimmy: Is... is your reason for accusing me that everyone else said they didn't do it?

Grian: ...

Jimmy: Oh my gods, it is isn't it.

Grian: So did you do it?

Jimmy: I was literally with you and Scott!

Grian: I can't figure it out, you guys are good.

Pearl: Are you sure it wasn't just lost?

Grian: ... ... ... Yes?

Pearl: Grian.

Grian: I wanted to do a fun murder mystery ok!?

Scott: Not really a murder mystery.

Grian: A fun mystery.

Tango: I think we all knew it was just lostificated. You were the only one in denial.

Grian: A fun.

Pearl: Was it fun for anyone though?

Grian: A.

Loop #496

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you at a match of 4d chess.

Ren: What-

Ren: Checkmate!

Grian: Are you sure?

Ren: Uh?

Grian: Oh you poor, poor man.

Ren: Me hand, what is he doing?

Martyn: He seems to be laughing.

Ren: I did not-

Grian: Checkmate.

Loop #497

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you at a match of minigolf.

Ren: Minigolf?

Grian: 10 holes, one vs one.

Ren: You're on.

Ren: I can't believe this!

Grian: That was easy.

Ren: How have you done this.

Grian: It's because...

Ren: Yes?

Grian: I.

Ren: Yeees?

Grian: Have a secret.

Ren: What is it!?! What is the secret.

Grian: That I.

Ren: Just say it!

Grian: Am more skilled then you.

Ren: How dare you!?

Grian: Byeee!

Loop #498

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you to a game.

Ren: What game?

Grian: Have you ever heard of tetris?

Ren: I yield! I yield!

Grian: Oh come on that wasn't that bad.

Ren: You almost crushed me!?

Grian: Nothing bad.

Ren: I could have died!

Grian: Sounds like a you problem.

Ren: Hiw was that fair?

Grian: Skill issue.

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