#but i really dont like 2/3 of the managers
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Wait I actually got the job at Chipotle?
#i msan i didnt interview badly or anything#and i have strong food service experience#im just not used to places I apply to. responding to me#the job market is bleak#am i really about to have a full time job so i can comfortably pay the bills again?#one of my managers has been teasing an 'opportunistic' meeting for the past few weeks#and i was considering staying because this is a place thag would be good to grow in#but i really just sat my manager down and said 'look i have another opportunity. what's the opportunity youve been talking about?'#and he said that it likely couldnt happen anymore#so idk if he was fucking with me or if something just changed#ill be a little sad to leave this job#there are coworkers i really like#but i really dont like 2/3 of the managers#and its only part time#the hours are really unstable and therefore so are my paychecks#and shit is expensive#but a steady full time job? damn that sounds nice#i just texted the manager to clarify that it's full time#and if she confirms then im probs gonna onboard on friday!#the benefits at chipotle are also pretty solid while at this job theyre nonexistent#im looking forward to it
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#mod chilchuck#dungeon meshi#kabru#we have inventory tomorrow so i was asked to pick up a shift today#i really dont wanna#i already had to get xrays today and i have something else later in the evening#so today is a long day :(#this is usually my day off#i hate being one of 3 people at my store that isnt a highschooler (besides the managers)#< and one of the other 2 doesnt even work during the day so its really like. just me and another person that isnt good at very much
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misc IWATEX drabbles
Hi, so I've been writing a certain fic and have amassed quite a bit of different random scenes which I may or may not use... and I thought,,, it might be fun to share some. N if people like them I'd certainly love to do/share more uwu
1. In which Sol suffers a bad case of burn-out after facilitating peace with the gardeners and decides to take a sabbatical.
Anemone hears it from Tangent, who says it as matter-of-factly as anything: Sol has disappeared. To be fair to them, it was a planned, voluntary disappearance. Anemone hasn't seen Sol in 3 years, and yet the pang of hurt she feels is as fresh as the dew on her boots. Already impossibly far, they have moved into some new to her unreachable realm, drifting ever farther and farther away.
Sym never quite learns to lie outright, so he cannot tell them honestly if Sol is happy or not. Only that they are getting better. They are trying. They are trying to get back to everyone and themself. Even if to all of them it looks like doing the opposite.
Once, Sol uploads a 20 minute long soundscape to the holonet. It is entirely taken up by the sound of crashing waves. Something about it makes her realize its not an old recording of Earth- its Vertumna. Sol is at the ocean. Their voice hums underneath the nature sounds, going in and out at various intervals as it follows one pattern, then loses it only to start trailing another, lulling one into a sense of calm and just the lightest sting of loss. Reminds one, gently but insistently, of the vast distance between her and Sol.
Their voice is salt-cracked and hoarse. Now a stranger to language, their tongue bends only for the small, simple sounds. Are they eating well? Their mouth cannot answer. It must be inferred from the thinness of their breath.
Does salt crust the corners of their eyes? There is no way of telling. Are they cold? Do they sleep? Are they shivering? Do they think of her? Are their pets well-fed? Do they miss their mother? Are there holes in their shirt that need mending? Does the scar still itch? Have they shelter? A home? Does it get lonely? Is she at fault? Will they ever talk to her? Did they catch Echinacea's first steps? Do they watch the videos and follow along life at the colony? Is their knife still sharp? Are they drinking enough? Do they sleep better now than they had before, at home? Is it enough to keep them from the nightmares?
2. Dys & Sol
Where Dys was fearless, emotional, Sol was calm, always measured. Their conflicting natures again grinding against each other until they finally ground each others edges smooth. Eroded enough to stand beside one another. Shoulder to shoulder. A protrusion laid into the groove, spike fitted against spike closing into a gapless vice, puzzle piece in puzzle piece. Still not smooth enough to play well with the others.
Sol always wondered about that. How these two unlike objects could come so close and find what was lacking and what could be given in turn.
Belief the chiefest among those necessities. Belief was hard to come by from anyone else who was not the playground seer or the cryptid of stratospheric. They traded it between each other like tokens, like currency which once their ancestors had sought just to be able to survive. The stakes here were just as dire.
Belief was a powerful thing- it could make or break you. It could make you whole or leave you forever unfulfilled, left to feel around blindly for every shadow of its shape as it eludes you time and time again, as it is buried down deeper by the disappointment and the falsities.
"Fine, don't believe in the colony. Believe in me."
"I do, Sol. But you're just one person."
3. ...and another one why not.
He finds Sol balancing on the edge of a wall near their lookout tower. They grin at him, they're in a good mood. This might be bad. They waggle their eyebrows in challenge, then extend one leg over the edge of the wall.
“Dare ya,”
They start and don't even finish the sentence. There’s no need. They already have Dys’ undivided attention.
He smirks and scoffs. “As if I’ve never jumped off the wall, please Sol. That’s baby stuff.”
For a moment he watches them pause and look out across the Vertumnan wilds, tensing imperceptibly. Or, no, not quite. It looks more like they’re frozen in place, like none of their limbs were ever designed with movement in mind. Their pupils don't even twitch, they don't blink. The action is both painfully familiar and alien, as if they’re one of…
Then all at once, they’re alive again, interfacing with the physical world. Their body careens forward and their grin goes down, down, down…
He rushes forward. He’s just in time to jump off the ledge as the toes of Sol’s shoe leave solid ground. There's no way he can be outdone by Sol. Sol who by all accounts should be capable of experiencing fear but does not only on account of that they're totally and irreversibly insane. There’s nobody he’d want to be with more in this moment.
Sol, of course, knows they will be fine. They were careful, they checked. No bad feelings, no premonitions. Just tuck and roll.
4.[COULD YOU HELP ME RELAX?] (Sol x Sym)
"I'm just so tired Sym. I feel so old; barely like a person at all."
He pulls them down as he habitually does, using his arm as their headrest.
"No matter what, you'll always be the one I love," he says soothing.
"No, I know- its just-" they groan rubbing their face in frustration and exhaustion.
"Oh, should I be offended? Am I not enough for you, sugarbug?" Sym teases.
Sol grins in a kind of half-defeat, half-relief that he won't make them actually get into the meat of it. They're far too worn for that now.
"You know what I mean." This, they say with the smile still in their voice.
"I think I do. I'm sorry I cannot do more at this moment. But, when the time comes, you will make the right choice, I know it. I believe in you, my love."
Sym finds himself not for the first time feeling guilt over the clarity of purpose he has as opposed to his chaotic human friends.
Though maybe that's not the issue with Sol at all, maybe it's the opposite. Because they do have a purpose coded into them. It's simply too much for one person to bare. He knows he is part of that issue as much as he'd wish to remain a truly neutral party.
He can't do anything more than kiss their temple as he smooths back their hair, his helplessness expressed in this gesture oddly human. For all his vast knowledge, the soothing motions of a social pack animal is the best he can offer.
"That was just what I needed," they say too soon, tension pulling them up like a whip, as if the words themselves were some sort of trigger. They kept going regardless. Before he could have ever even administered his Gardener magic to them. Does this mean they don't feel its effects at all anymore? Could they not tell the difference between a comforting word and supercharged chemical reaction?
#iwatex#my writins#I guess#uhh#sol exocolonist#dys exocolonist#sym exocolonist#theres 4 hopefully theyre entertaining to other folks as well#I love the mess that is sol and dys' friendship <3 he is always in direct opposition of the vast majority of sols core missions.#sol is always trying to save the colony in all but like 3 endings... dys never believes in it lasting...#dys is a weirdo but so is sol! and yet everybody celebrates them n they always manage to weasel into everybodys hearts#n I think Sol would notice that and feel bad about it 2 but at the same time be unable to really stop it.#it must suck when ur hanging out w the only 2 ppl in the world who get you n it turns out they both share the same superpower. and you dont#rip dys
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the rituals are intricate
florida panthers @ new york islanders | 10.26.24 (x)
#gustav forsling#aaron ekblad#niko mikkola#florida panthers#2425#these rituals back to back... catmin wanted me DEAD FR FR#you think forsy “come on 5”-ed him again#so the mikksyekky bumpy ritual has been workshopped to only 2 bumpies i see im taking notes#once again its not enough ekky gets laid out on the ice for 60 minutes a game he has to get it from his teammates too#on another episode of i dont know how exactly ekky managed to convince mikksy to go all out on the bumpy ritual#but damn if he didnt do mikksy really does put his all into this very strange request#the forsyekky ritual where ekky can barely make any eyecontact with forsy#versus w mikksy where he stares into his soul to ensure hes not holding out on him strength wise#utterly fascinating coupling we have here#the dynamic is 3 farmdogs. the pyrs that stands in your way. an obstacle. and a jungle gym for the baby goats. has become one with the gras#the berner thats a little too happy to be here and in lieu of doing their job follows you around instead#like sweetheart go watch the herd with the pyrs what are you doing here i love you but im just making sure the bunnies are okay go on git#and the insane border collie that the farm is scared of because they literally vibrate when not given a job and despite being run to the#ground will still find the energy to run some more what is this thing made of oh its just a smart workaholic yeah i guess that tracks#oh the pyrs barely gives the berner the time of day for playtime because the only playing they really tolerate is from the lambs and kids#and the only one who can keep up with the berners high energy is also the insane herder who is just a vibrating string at all times. yeah.
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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day 61
one a those days
#day 61#year 4#it me#i dont know how much detail ive gone into on this blog#because i do like to keep a particular vibe here#but without going into detail im on like my sixth major family medical crisis in like#3 months?#and i just think. if everybody could stay out of the hospital for like.#more than 2 weeks at a time?#that would be fantastic#that would be really great for all of us actually#anyway everybody is fine we just had a scary ER visit today after my grandma had a nasty fall#she is okay she didnt break any bones and she is now having the chillest and comfiest time she can manage at home#busted her right arm pretty good but shes getting along just fine and has followups already scheduled with her doctor#HOWEVER. the energy of the day has still been hot garbage and id like to speak to the manager
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Bruh people aren't fucking lying about COVID fatigue goddamn
#covid#life of sponty#ive been sick since i got back home on 12th#infected probably 1 to 3 days before that#so im coming up on 2 weeks of covid#and right now the worst symptom remaining is the fatigue and exhaustion#i got up and showered and sat at my desk for 30mins and now I'm so exhausted i have to go back to bed#it's effort to stroke the cat#the other day i did a small physical exertion and afterwards was so intensely tired it tooo about 6 hours of recovery#just to be able to lift small objects without dropping them#shits fucked bruh#also I'm getting the classic taste fuckery and bitter and alkaline flavours are literally making me choke#it's wild#desperately hoping it doesn't last because i really dont want to lose onions forever#i love onions#i was scared for a second that I'd lost mango too but it turns out it's just the mango skin flavour. the flesh is fine#cough was only monstrous for like a day#rest of the time it's not been any worse than ive had from normal nasty coughs. pretty manageable#the fatigue is wack though#I've never been this weak before#it's kind of fascinating from an authorial perspective#this is going to be useful experience for the writing banks
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So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything
Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds
#like. i went out earlier to get bread#just bread bc we cant afford anything else#got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like#our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off#and it usually wont switch off over weekends#presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway#so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt#then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is#or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing#and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days#we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen#like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in#and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel#and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me#but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness#tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s#like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but#dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon
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#so far in my sporadic picking away at various manga series i feel i have the weirdest reader relationships with JJBA and Attack on Titan#when reading JJBA i am not really that invested in the characters or even whats happening to them and yet i still never decide to dnf it#and i dont even know what it is that keeps me reading except that its just very unique i suppose?#such an odd combo of different things that somehow manages to eventually have its own sorta cohesive logic and charm#also the art is just fun. its ornate and goofy and macho and flamboyant and gross#but as soon as i put it down i stop thinking about it too#and dont feel like picking it up again for at least several more days#with attack on titan i found the art style mostly really bad at first ngl#it reminded me of awkward drawings a high schooler would make like the inconsistentness#of like there are good action poses here but the people also look weird ugly bland and stiff and the backgrounds are often so empty#idk i was feeling pretty blah about it but something about how starkly straight-forward the story is was interesting to me#where its literally exactly what you heard its just#theres a bunch of humanoid giants attacking our city#and we have to stop them. that's it#and also the awkwardness of the art style i find works extremely well when it comes to the titans#like they are genuinely creepy to me. and they do actually feel massive the way theyre drawn. and the mystery around them interests me too#anyways im like 60% through part 1 of jojo(also read most of part 4 a few years ago) and only on vol 3 of AoT#but yeah those are the 2 series i have the most mixed feelings about so far#wouldnt say i love or hate either of them but still also continue to want to find out more#13readsmanga#p
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I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies
Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#OKAY SO! this makes it sound like i have a super important job but really we are understaffed and ive barely worked there a year now#graduated college a few years early 'cause i finished high school early (kinda? it's complicated)#now i am in a position where i am in the role of a whole Quality Assurance team (testing and write ups)#a Task Manager/Planner#Software Developer and maybe engineer? not sure the differences. lots of planning and programming and debugging ect ect#plus managing the coworker that messed up and doing his stuff because it just isnt good enough. which i WILL put in my end day notes#our team is like 4 people lol. we severely need more because rhe art department has like 10 people??#crunch time is.. so rough..#its weirdddddd thinking about this job since its like i did a speedrun into a high expectations job BUT in my defense i was hired before#i graduated. and like SURE my graduating class had literally 3 people so like there was a 86%-ish drop out rate??#did a four year course in 2 BY ACCIDENT!! i picked it on a whim. but haha i was picked to give advice and a breakdown on the course so it#could be reworked into a 3 year course (with teachers that dont tell you to learn everything yourself) so that was neat#im rambling again but i have silly little guy privileges and a whole lot of thoughts haha#anywho i am SO hyped to move!! I'll finally get away from the creepy guy upstairs (i could rant for days about him but he is 0/10 the worst)#it will be so cool having access to a kitchen!! and literally anything more than 1 singular room#(it isnt as bad as it sounds i just have a weird life. many strange happenings and phenomenons)#<- fun fact about me! because why not? no one knows where i came from and i dont 100% know if my birthday is my birthday#i just kinda. exist. @:P#i mean technically i was found somewhere and donated to some folks (they called some different people and whoever got there first got me)#but still i think it is very silly! i have no ties to a past not my lived one! i exist as a singularity!#anywho dont think about it too hard like i guess technically ive been orphaned like twice but shhhhhhhh#wow. i am so sleep deprived. i am so so sorry to anyone who may read this#i promise im normal#@:|
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sleepy mr baby + other random misc images
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. Interesting formations in the bottom of a cocoa powder container#2. more pressed four leaf clovers for the year. found all in one day#3. The picture is so blurry it's hard to tell but it's a DOUBLE clover! I've found multiple 6 leaf clovers before but usuall#y they're connected much higher up where the leaves are and sort of look like one clover. Where this one was like... connected lower down a#the stem and so it literally just looks like two 3 leaf clovers merged together.#4. Love his silly sleepy stretch bapy face#5. An interesting new matching card game thing that I tried playing a while ago. Another into my ever growing giant collection of#games that I rarely have the chance to actually play with people lol.. Current favorites are Bethump'd With Words. Tapple. Lowdown-Go.#classic Boggle and Scrabble and such. This one I think is just called 'SET' ?#For any fellow ... boardgame lovers?? theyre not really boardgames.. But when I say 'card game lovers' then it sounds more like#I'm referring to people who like to play Cards - like rummy or king's corners or jacks up or etc. And I dont mean playing cards type#games. But then if i just say 'Game lovers' then that sounds like video games... hrmm... terminology.. ANYWAY#6. PIGEONS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.. spotted..!! clapping cheering sobbing at their beauty so on and so forth#7. back at it again..I know all of these images look the same because I get the same exact order every single time I go to zero dregrees lo#. but it IS all separate occasions. I allow myself to go one single time a year (pretty expensive like.. $12 for the garlic noodles I think#or even $15. And probably $7 for a drink. so it's a very rare treat). (Garlic noodles with beef. matcha bubble tea. coffee bubble tea. pina#colada smoothie thing (not alcoholic). strawberry cheesecake milkshake.). Funnily looks like I'm just reposting the same image though lol#8. Random picture from that other costume I did a while ago after I had taken the wig off and my hair was sitting funny#Like a pta mom manager side bang sort of look but also with clown makeup lol#9. SKY.. very pale blue and white... perfect..#photo diary
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forgot how suffering it is to have ur favourite character in smth involved in a very popular pairing you Do Not Like that is 1. everywhere in their tag and 2. not tagged correctly a lot so you can't even flag it
#NO OFFENCE TO G*KUTS*MU. ok actually offence to gktm 18/22 is an uncomfortable gap to me personally but#i really just do not like Protagonist/Anyone ships in joseimukes at all. at least in the ones im into.#bc the ones im into are. well. 2/3 idol and 1 actor ones the protagonist is always in a role that sets them apart from the guys of the cast#tsumugi manager anzu producer izumi director. and they all comment on this in their respective series actually#but i really dont like pairings involving them bc it feels inappropriate & unprofessional to have that staff/talent relationship LOL#(a lot of the times it's also hard to distinguish between what could be genuine character interactions and yumebait. at least w es and a3.#so that knocks out a lot of pairings to begin with anyway.) but im just not really into that kind of manager talent dynamic#and all three of them comment on it in their respective series too that they have no interest in getting involved w someone at work LOL#bc of how it's kind of a no no and i know izumi talks abt how she would choose work over love bc she can always find a new lover but theres#only one mankai. so she definitely would NOT want to get in the way of any of that. anyways#anyways i 4got how hard it is to avoid this stuff. when my art block ends im drawing tsumugi on her own#bri.txt
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Shininginktober Days 2 & 3 - Bowie & Oddeye (+ Peter)
Quiet guy carrying the world on his shoulders, quiet guy with demons on his past, and a chicken who talks enough for three people. I love them. I also have no idea if I wanted Peter to be this big but it's too late to go back now lol
#shining force 2#shining series#shininginktober#shininginktober2023#sf2 bowie#sf2 peter#sf2 oddeye#it's one past midnight so yeah late but catch this gnarly wave of i dont care#it's probably still day 3 somewhere#also i was legit frustrated with other stuff the whole day so these boys managed to cheer me up and that's what matters#also when i started drawing i wanted like plausible deniability that it could be a canon scene#during his time as oddler#but i really don't care you know the guy didnt die to me#the sf2 canon ending is not real and it cannot hurt me#also kajiyama's design is so much better than the official one#you think i'm gonna figure out that whole drape? shut up. cool ass robe be upon you#oddler's official design is much like zynk's in that i love the establishing vibes#yes that looks like a guy that was massacred in battle and lost everything. yes that looks like a robot past an apocalypse#but if no one bought them clothes in the next 24 hours that's war crimes#2023
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psst for my stream regulars
How does the idea of me starting streams at like 1:30PM (EST) sound. i’ll still plan to run them to like 5:00PM (EST) but now its more definite it’ll actually end then opposed to accidentally going on until like. 7:30PM (EST)
Also im on mobile so i cant make a poll so you gotta let me know through like a comment or somethin ok ty
#snap chats#maybe end even sooner at like 4:50 idk point is how does this sound...#ik everyone shows up for the 3:30 time but im also wondering if 1 is just really too early for some people#maaaaybe 2 if not ???#reason for the time switch is that my moms starting to like. actually use our gym equipment now#and all of thats in the basement. Where I Hang Out#and she’s been getting home just a bit earlier nowadays so im tryig to play it safe#i dont want this arrangement to be permanent and if things go my way for once it shouldnt be#but just for now..#if its not alright then i’ll prob have to pause on streaming for a bit#not forever just. A Bit until i get some personal things sorted#‘personal things’ Wow So Im Not Oversharing For Once leave me ALONE its a complicated situation so we’re going with Personal Things#ok im gonna enjoy my walk. or try to#my therapist is making me take my blood pressure daily and yesterday it was like#149/107 or something and i was like ‘yeah i might as well have high blood pressure’#luckily. or unluckily to me i just took my blood pressure wrong#‘snap how the fuck do you manage that’ I Am Very Stupid. I Am An Idiot Even anyway i didnt know i had to sit POINT IS#took it today and it was actually a Normal reading but man it Would Not be unbelievable if i had HBP#when my dad was with my mom he had HBP all the time and as soon as he got out he was at a normal level... lol...#ok enough rambling bye#im lying I Had That bout myself cause theres a stereotype with filipinos#where bitches just Cannot Say Goodbye like fam will say ‘bye’ and talk another ten minutes and i keep proving it true ENOUGH#BYE FR THIS TIME PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW WE FEEL BOUT THIS TIME SHIFT
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finished assignments for today. welp off to the incinerator
#AUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!#I think finals seasons upcoming is dawning on me#I was trying to take it easy for burn out i really was and it was helping!!!#I started being able to think about my special interest again!!#I stopped fantasizing about passing out in front of somebody so someone would notice how bad it is!!#But now its all coming back and I feel so bad. I cant focus I cant do any work#I barely managed to do 3 statistics questions and one paragraph for a project. in 9 hours#I really dont know what im going to do I feel so sick#Ive never had mental health issues impact my academics before like this#Its really bad and the worst part is i think its been bad for a while#my mom called me today about medical school prep and I felt sick to my stomach#I continue to be the family problem child only 2 steps away from being the family disappointment here we go!!!!!!!#shut up me
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