#but i need a job. to live. so i also need to play the game and i am SO BAD at the game
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White Dog Cafe
pairing: max verstappen x pet cafe!owner
summary: while daniel forgets plans made with max, max has a meet-cute
a/n1: had this idea while playing a solitaire game and had it immediately plotted out 🥰. Sorry it took away to actually get it to you though… November started out rough…
Private Messages
white_dog_cafe
liked by user, yourbff, maxverstappen1, user and 97,455 others
white_dog_cafe: officially open for business!
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user9: can’t wait to visit!
user10: YEEEESSSSS!!!!
user11: omg dream job acquired!
↳white_dog_cafe: if you’re in the area, feel free to stop in and apply! We still have a couple of openings
↳user11: literally running to you now!
yourbff: you got this!! ITS GONNA BE AWESOME!
↳yourusername: thank you babe
user12: Ariana (max verstappen) what are you doing here???
↳user13: the crossover i didn’t know i needed but am getting anyway!
↳user14: right? Like surprise of the century
↳user13: I guess it makes sense? They’re in the same area I guess and we all know max likes his cats…
↳user14: true! But still not something i expected
Twitter
user1: seriously? Like this could be anyone…
↳user2: apparently we get desperate for information and or gossip this deep into summer break
↳user1: I can’t believe anyone would be this desperate
user3: look at that rain though…
user4: where on earth is he?
↳user5: somewhere in Europe?
↳user6: what?
↳user5: apparently he and Daniel are spending part of the break exploring Europe!
↳user6: Maxiel forever!
user7: I saw him!
↳user8: seriously??? Spill!
↳user7: I was sitting in a local library window seat and so wasn’t the closest to him but he kept checking his phone and texting someone. When the rain started, he ducked into the building next to him
↳user8: i wonder who he was texting
↳user7: I’d guess Daniel if they were together
Private Messages
white_dog_cafe
liked by user, maxverstappen1, yourbff, user, and 223,469 others
tagged: localshelter1, localshelter2
white_dog_cafe: come on down! We’re teaming up with localshelter1 and localshelter2 for an adoption day! All adoption fees will be waived and part of the proceeds from the sales from the cafe itself will go back to the shelters!
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user15: oh my god…
↳user16: I love everything about this!
↳user17: the pet themed cupcakes…
↳user16: what are the stuffed animals for?
↳white_dog_cafe: we also partnered with a local toy store — each stuff animal has a matching live animal up for adoption! Something small for the little kids to hold onto while their new animals get used to their new homes
↳user16: omg that’s so thoughtful and perfect
user18: leo! Did he actually get adopted?
↳user19: I was there! Yes he did! Some guy came in and Leo made a direct run right to him. The owner laughed and said something like “looks like you’ve been adopted”
↳user18: 😍😍
↳user19: no joke it was like a romcom set up, the smile on this guys face…
localshelter1: a big success today! We currently have no occupants!
↳localshelter2: neither do we! Thanks to white_dog_cafe, for the first time in 5 years we are EMPTY!
↳white_dog_cafe: it was an honor to work with you! Same time next year?
↳localshelter2: you know it!!
user20: that’s great news!
↳user21: it was such a lovely event! I’m glad I got the chance to go!
↳user22: did you adopt?
↳user21: I did! A lovely little orange cat 💜
Twitter
user23: god his thighs…
↳user24: I know!!
user24: free titties? Just hanging out? For free???
↳user25: bite bite bite
user26: glad to see he’s relaxing!
↳user27: yes!
user28: is that a girl??? In the second photo???
↳user29: ok grandma let’s get you back to bed
↳user30: no no no let’s let her cook
mvupdates
liked by user, user, user, and 822,455 others
mvupdates: are our eyes deceiving us or does max have a new cat? Max was on stream last night and when his camera slipped, it caught a glimpse of a cat! Eagle eye viewers say that it doesn’t match pictures of Jimmy or Sassy
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user31: that is definitely a grey cat! No jimmy or sassy!
↳user32: max so bored during the off season that he resorts to getting a new cat
↳user33: he’s not the only one tbh…
user34: i swear to god i heard max call the cat leo
↳user35: leo??? Like Charles’ leo?
↳user36: Jesus we need a race again…he’s not gonna name his cat Leo
↳user34: I know what I heard!!
user19: wait a minute??
↳user19: i KNOW that cat
Twitter
user28: MAX VERSTAPPEN!! I told you all there was a girl by his side!!
↳user29: oh god not again
↳user30: no no no she has a point
user37: oh my god???
↳user38: this was NOT on my bingo card for this year
↳user37: I don’t think it was on anyone’s…
user39: and suddenly the universe screamed out in agony…THAT SHOULD BE ME
↳user40: no but for real??
↳user41: HE WAS AN OPTION???
↳user42: I guess for like 2 minutes…😭😭😭
user43: ok but when did he and k*lly break up?
↳user44: well she hasn’t been seen since Miami this year…
↳user44: and that was a CHILLY 🥶 interaction, I’d guess it happened around then if not before
user46: stargazing on the highway tonight!
↳user48: big mood
↳user49: same! Sleepover party?
↳user46: I’ll bring the drinks
Private Messages
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, user, and 125,222 others
yourusername: Visiting old friends and making new ones!
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user50: oh my god is that Leo?
↳yourusername: it is! Turns out he’s a little rascal
↳user50: he’s a cutie tho!
↳yourusername: ridiculously cute…and he knows it 😂🙄🥰
↳user50: they always do
user51: are those…are those the verstappen cats? Jimmy and Sassy?
↳user52: who?? What are you talking about?
↳user51: formula 1’s max verstappen! He’s got 2 cats that look exactly like those two cats in the third picture
↳user52: and those cats would be in a post from the owner of a pet cafe???
user19: I’ve connected the dots
↳user53: you’ve connected the dots?? What are you talking about?
↳user19: yourusername is dating max verstappen! He’s been rumored to be in a new relationship and he was definitely the man I saw adopt leo at white_dog_cafe a couple of weeks ago! And look! He’s in the likes!
↳user19: I’ve connected the dots!
↳user53: you’ve connected shit
↳user19: IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS
yourbff: cats are your kryptonite aren’t they
↳yourusername: noooo…
↳yourbff: 🧐🧐🧐
↳yourusername: but they’re so cute!!
↳yourbff: sure you’re not talking about their owner instead??
this comment was deleted
Private Messages
yourusername has posted 2 stories
[such a good passenger! | COTA 😍😍]
user19 replied IS THAT A VERSTAPPEN CAT?!?
maxverstappen1 replied glad to see you’re on your way. Cats doing ok?
↳yourusername yes yes yes we’re all doing fine
↳maxverstappen1 I just want this to go well
↳yourusername it’s gonna be fine
yourbff replied get it girl!!
↳yourusername omg why am I friends with you again
↳yourbff cause I know too many secrets
↳yourusername for real 🙄
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, charles_leclerc, and 923,123 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: COTA you were amazing. Max that was…simply lovely ☺️
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user19: I KNEW IT!
↳user53: ok grandma let’s get you to bed
↳user19: but I was right!!!
↳user53: literally no one cares anymore
danielricciardo: great entrance for your first race!
↳yourusername: thank you! Of course it was nothing compared to yours in ‘22
↳danielricciardo: well not everyone can be me!
↳user54: oh god i can just tell their friendship is gonna be so good!!
charles_leclerc: so great to meet you and your cat leo ☺️
↳yourusername: it was nice to meet you too!
↳maxverstappen1: Don’t even.
↳yourusername: but Leo is actually max’s!
↳maxverstappen1: liefje
↳charles_leclerc: OH??? 🤭🤭🤭
↳maxverstappen1: I am going to hunt you down in Mexico and run you right off the track
↳charles_leclerc: you’d have to catch me first! 🤗
alex_albon: coming for our brand huh?
↳yourusername: we could never! But maybe a playdate?
↳alex_albon: absolutely!
user55: I can’t believe that one user was right…
↳user19: I TOLD YOU
↳user55: oh god she’s stalking me. Mom help I’m scared
↳user53: I’ve got her
maxverstappen1: it was simply lovely to have you here with me
↳yourusername: awww 🥰🥰🥰
↳yourusername: nowhere else i'd rather be
↳maxverstappen1: cute but definitely a lie
↳yourusername: oh yeah absolutely. I looked it up — there’s a cat cafe with a indoor waterfall like 20 minutes away
↳maxverstappen1: well what are we waiting for?
↳yourusername: just you, you slow poke
↳maxverstappen1: 🙄🙄
#f1 smau#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 instagram au#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#f1 fic#formula 1#formula one#formula one imagine#formula one smau#formula one social media au#formula one x reader#formula one x you
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I keep thinking about how lonely Heinrix must feel.
It basically is enough to tell him if he feels lonely he can come to RT to have a conversation and it starts the romance path. Just a bit of kindness and he starts to fall.
He tells us he was working alone in the Expanse - and while we do not get a clear answer in game, it seems to have been a couple of years at least, traveling through the expanse in the hunt for the cult, setting up his agents and spy network.
As Interrogator and Psyker he isn't going to win popularity contests. You have people afraid of him, maybe hating and dispising him for his job and what he is and what he stands for. He can't really trust anyone, enemies could be everywhere. If someone is nice to him, it could just be a ploy to get close to him to hurt him or to use him.
He uses different approaches to get people to work with him - torture or gifts. People are a resource he has to work with. I think if a gift would work for everyone he would prefer it but some people require other incentives. It is another part of his duty and there is no other way for him - this is why he is still alive (allowed to live as psyker). There is only duty for him.
I can imagine after all these years / decades as Interrogator he automatically analyzes people he meet. We see it in his banter with the companions, how observant he is. He might also categorize them as how useful they are (look at his banter / comments regarding Kibellah who he would like to recruit for the Ordo).
He also has the burden of secrets he has to carry - we see it in game how he is reluctant to share information. He scolds himself when he hesitates in act 4 to talk about Emelina for example.
Keeping people at distance is to keep himself and the other safe - he says himself in act 4, it isn't the first and likely not the last time he gets someone killed who was close to him. And in Commorragh he says that dealings with agents of the golden throne bring people in danger.
I know some people think he also used seduction but for me this does not fit to him at all - I would expect him to be smoother in this case and not as he said himself - not used to courteous small talk. He has noble origin, he knows the rituals, can dance... (unofficial information from his writer) but he is not used to talk nice apparently. Not to mention the way he invites RT to the date. And the way he is longing for even simple touches.
While RT can be a friend or even romanced, he only really has Cassia as friend and to some part perhaps, Argenta.
He doesn't seem to have much friendly interaction with the other acolytes as well - Tanakia and Aishara mock and insult him and while he seems to value Achilleas, Marazhai comments that Achilleas feared him "...so much".
This leaves only mostly Emelina (as far as we know) who was kind and good to him, being a mentor, playing regicide with him and teaching him the skills he needed to survive (and likely that he used to help RT as well). And we know how this ends...
#rogue trader#rogue trader rpg#rogue trader crpg#warhammer 40k#rogue trader heinrix van calox#warhammer 40k rogue trader
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I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it
#i’ll set the scene for you: i’m doing the prosperity challenge (basically a challenge where you create a number of completely randomised#families and you play them in rotation. rules vary but generally the goal is to make all your sims as successful as possible#and it’s meant to add some variety and drama to the game)#so i’ve played through the first four families which were all some variation of either grandparents or teenagers looking after kids#just because that’s how my rolls fell. so i got to the last house which was just one adult man and i was like okay.#i JUST need an heir out of him. just ONE. and things were going great! he already had a boyfriend (the random uncle of the first family#i played realllly liked him and i was like ‘this might as well happen’) so i had them try for baby. then his dream job (slacker lol)#came up in the newspaper on the FIRST DAY and he kept getting promoted! i also had him adopt a stray dog i thought was cute#his pregnancy went unbelievably well. he only passed out while eating one time. i allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security#and then mans ✨WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GAVE BIRTH TO QUADRUPLETS✨#look this is honestly on me for downloading the triplets and quads mod. i don’t even know why i do it. just for the risk factor?#regardless there was only a 3% chance for this and yet it STILL happened. on the first birth in the neighbourhood no less!!!!!#bear in mind this man is living in a 2 bedroom starter home; has one paycheque (GROCERY STORE CLERK) AND he’s just spent a bunch of money#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials#i managed to find the money for 4 cribs and a nanny fucking Somehow. and then carnage ensued#i don’t think this man bathed for 3 days. i got the dog a job and then realised it got weekends off so wouldn’t be going#aging them all up into toddlers aged ME. i think they’re technically classified as some being a day older than the others but idc#i’ll rectify it at the next birthday. or at one of their birthdays anyway#it was just SO messy. next rotation should be better though??? i had him marry the kids’ other father (who is an elder so will probably be#around approximately 5 minutes) who bought in exactly £5 but at least there’s an extra person to change diapers and get bottles#i see a lot of nannies in these kids’ future i fear#personal
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brain got rotating n look i love love love the ships ive got here so far really & truly but i cannot lie. in my heart i need kurt to smooch a guy. or be smooched by one. man's so out of his depth w other men it's kinda funny but also kinda cute & it would do him some good to actually get a bit Into his own head now n then.
#i just think charas in their 30s whove only recently recognized their own queerness n have zero clue how to navigate or engage w it#you can take the catholic out of bavaria but like. vague hand motions it's all still there#ive def said before how like. all the love n support for his queer friends+family but yknow#Has internalized heteronormativity so. still unpacking all that.#n like it's not like ppl dont Know hes bi??? ppl have def assumed#but He only knew after a solid concurrent 6months living Exclusively around other mutants coz he was still conflating shit#the whole do i wanna be em or be With em thing but like coz he was actually Comfy in his pelt now n didnt need to keep lookin for insp#that like#opened the door to OH. my admiration of em had v little to do w how id like to be perceived by non-mutants. i just like perceiving them.#which has been. an inchresting hallway for him to try n navigate; reexamining how he views quite nearly every man he's befriended#basically playing an internal game of smash or pass ghalgakj#& ofc hasnt said anything abt anything bc it makes him cringe thinkin bout trying to put words to smth he doesnt have words for#also smth smth kurt vc im probably bisexual but ive got a job so i rlly cant be bothered w that rn#anyway. casts Boy Kisser upon kurt#ooc. oh mein gott this stage is full of kuntenserven.
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i do think, aside from mercury bias, if bg had been in all season she would have been all wnba, first or at least second. i think people undervalue her because of the rebounding but she is 1000% the worst officiated player in the league, on both sides of the court. so the fact that she's been able to have the performance that she had is incredible, and that she didn't get the acknowledgment really just underscores how much people take what she does for granted.
#i saw something interesting that kim milky basically has her players specialize and so they come out of college less well rounded#exhibit a angel's shooting vs rebounding#and i didn't watch bg in college so maybe i'm totally wrong on this but maybe rebounding just wasn't he job#and then i saw on reddit or something that maybe because she is so poorly officiated she'd get called for too many fouls on rebounding#for it to be worth it#and while i understand the value of rebounding really i do the mercy's problem wasn't that they weren't trying#well sometimes it was but it was that their whole system wasn't designed for it#if you have 4 players on the perimeter to space and shoot 3#you're going to hope they go in and run the floor instead#teams that rebound well dedicate bodies and time to rebounding#and i believe that it was a conscious choice the merc made to not do that#and if you look at old merc games they struggled with rebounding then too#i actually will have more to say about this in the future but the mercury's style of play has lived and died with dt's style for 20 years#the mercury have the most 100 point games of any franchise#and they are responsible for most of the 200 point total scores across the league#ie their fast break and bad defense lol#and while it's not entirely true - she is not responsible for every result they've ever had - i don't think you get westhead's style of pla#to work without her talent and the penny cappie dt trio in 2006#or at least it isn't successful and maybe doesn't change the pace of play in the league the way it did#it's also interesting that if the lottery draw goes differently in 2006 and merc have the first pick do they get seimone or do they stick#cappie? i think they stick with cappie bc they needed a true pg and from what i've seen seimone is a 2/3#and i don't think dt becomes the player the league knows without having a true pg [vs her playing point]#the thing is dt can play point better than most people but i think she plays better when she has someone else there to help#and her talking about oh i should've won mvp in 2006 [when i dropped 40] [lisa leslie won that year]#and in 2014 [best team ever] [maya moore won that year]#you look at the stats and there is for sure an argument to be made there#but it all comes back to post players#and i know wikipedia says maya is a power forward but she seems like more of a 3 sometimes? i haven't watched her enough#but i don't think dt can win mvp in 2009 without that team specifically#which means [and this is my theory of life] that everything happens the way it has to happen for you to end up where you are today
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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discovered a food allergy by eating it(again)
#kiwi then peanut butter now AVOCADO??? IM CALIFORNIAN WHY WOULD MY BODY BETRAY ME LIKE THIS#also my FAT ASS brother keeps eating all my safe foods and ive been eating only snack bars twinkies and rice for the past week#and my parents cant get any new food bc we're dirt fucking poor rn and no one will fucking hire me or my dad anywhere and we're living off#my moms paycheck only which is not helped by her urge to buy 2nd hand furniture we dont have room for#she bought all this shit bc she wants us to fix it up and resell it but like! it takes so much work to do that and it wont turn out the way#she wants it to! plus she wants me my dad sister and brother to do it and doesn't wanna help with it#my brother is a whole other irritating story on top of all this stress bc he keeps trying to convince my parents to buy him new games etc#and it irritates me bc he does it constantly and my parents cave A LOT but when im like hey! please buy X food we're completely out of it i#get told i need to get a job so i can buy it myself#hes 19 btw and he also has NO ID which he needs to be able to get a job#hes haf multiple opportunities to get one and he made up excuses not to do it everytime#didn't get enough sleep or doesn't have clean pants#when he stays up to 5am playing video games and he showers once a week and the had a clean pair sitting in the clean laundry for days at#that point🙄
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Academic institutional imperatives are literally stacked against being a good teacher, so for all you people that suffer w/ bad professors I Am So Sorry
#being told that u just can't be a bad teacher. bc you need to be effective but u also gotta worry about tenure and your research#bc profs are researchers first.#usually.#every single day i'm reminded that i do not want to work at an r1 school bc it's so messed up odihgso#sorry you have an obligation to your students to actually teach them#but bc being a good teacher means SHIT for tenure and other evaluations#compared to how often you publish#and then they wonder why we have a replication crisis#and all this other stuff#it's because they literally set profs up to be terrible idfhgso#ooc.#tbd.#anyway being intrinsically and not extrinsically motivated is such a problem sometimes#bc i want to be good for ME not bc i can get a job#but i need a job. to live. so i also need to play the game and i am SO BAD at the game#i do not want to play the game i do not want to care about my livelihood more i do not want to be so worried about tenure and getting a job#that i fail my students sorry!
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
#creative writing#writers block#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity#fanfic writing#writeblr#writing advice
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me… sad boy
#I was going to whine a lot but why lot word when few word do trick?#I have been… soooooo anxious and depressed and I feel like I’m going to die soon & the world is ending the world is empty & I’m alone in it#I feel so sick#I need to get out and do something. I always need to get out and I never do and I’m dumb#so maybe I’ll just get messed up and stay in my room#I can’t sleep. I wake up tired and hurting. I can’t do anything.#woe is fucking me amirite?#also I just finished Black Sails and I cried a lot. why did I think getting emotionally attached to a show and finishing it was smart?#that’s not important. I mean it is but not really. what’s important is I constantly feel like the end is always looming over me#I miss my therapist but I’m scared to ever see him again.#same reason I’m scared to be around anyone outside of my immediate family: I’m a failure & I can’t bear to see that reflected in their eyes#so he joins a long list of people I can’t talk to anyone along with my dad and countless old friends#hey wait why did I segue to this?#boo hoo#analytically. logically. I can look past this and see how irrational these thoughts are#but goddamn if there’s not something chemical that just makes me feel sick and scared and I’m having a doozy of a time living with it#because Ian you need to work on long term goals. not just quick fixes like I dunno fucking eating pizza or playing video games#sorry. just wanted to vent. it’s been building up in me for days and I needed a quick whine#I shaved. I’m gonna get a haircut maybe tomorrow. if only to stave off my unhealthy feelings of ‘just shave your head at 3am’#my mom is finally reaching the point where she doesn’t need me to chauffeur her around all the time#and my brothers are finishing their semesters at school and also both have licenses now#so I think I can stop using those as excuses and try to… I dunno. live for myself now. that sounds cheesy.#gonna go get a low paying job doing something mindless so I can have extra cash for being alive#god I need a hug so bad#that’s not even… like… not even a lighthearted joke. I think if someone sincerely held me for a few minutes it would fix me. a little bit.#this is too much information#sorry I love you goodbye forever#but hey… really… I love ya… I mean maybe. not really. kind of. I appreciate ya and I’m here for ya… in spirit. like a ghost. a cool ghost.#you can ignore this#text
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google search should i be concerned that every time i tell people how i process social interaction they say i would be a good lawyer
#post#keyz lore#me: to me conversations are like a strategy game that i mostly play just to win#my mom: so are you . are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer#jokes on her my ideal job is in marketing so i can make people's lives harder on purpose while also fulfilling my desire for control#by manipulating the general public into spending money on things they don't need#no need to tell me I'm a bad person btw i am fully aware and I've made peace with that
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#not a vent but also am shy#but even if i did lose my job i am still gonna use this final pay for something important to me now that i live alone#the binder i got from gendergear was nice#now i've ordered one for swimming (in a slightly larger size) and packer stuff#briefs that can be used for play bc y'bitch be hopeful lmfao#i ALMOST got the stp but honestly i know enough cis men who sit to pee i am less pressed#idk how this is all gonna go but the binder feels good to wear and see myself in so i'ma try this#worst case scenario i get to hand it along to someone who needs it more#best case affirmation#the swim binder is important too bc i swim a lot and that'll be a huge game changer if it works as well as the reviews say
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bWAH 🎺
#cant sleep im rambling#i dont feel like trying anymore everything is so tiring#i dont want to go to classes i cant draw i cant play games or read or make my portfolio#moving is tiring. im exhausted#im doing mybest to ignore any paranoid thoughts i need to learn to live alone#people cant be keeping me company 24/7 so i dont feel as bad#but at the same time the second im leftalone ijustgo back to bed#im so nervous about the future i dont feel im good enough to get a job#how long until people stop being patient with me and realize im a burden#i want to lay down and rot and sleep until it all feels so far away#i know ineed to ask for help but like#when imwith friends im usually fine. so mybad feelings now mustnot be that serious...#like i can feel happy sometimes. so my depression surely is being exaggerated#but also i struggle to do somany things lately...
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i did have the opportunity to listen to two women i work with discuss their husbands/thoughts on men yesterday and i'm still feeling agog about it! ive read about gendered relations before but it's strange having heard it expressed so candidly...
#i was working with them i wasnt just eavesdropping i just didnt have anything to add that wouldnt be...argumentative#it was a lot of like...'i keep complaining about being tired because of [labor i do] and expecting him to offer to do it#to realize that thats what im wanting but he doesnt notice'#and its just sooooo confusing!! why play games like that!#a lot of coddling of men and going 'theyre so simple its hard for us (women) to understand it#but they just need to be told theyre doing a good job like a child does and they dont pick up on our implications'#a lot of 'well if we had more freedom to do less hard labor we would be more feminine is what men dont get'#and it was sooooooo so bizarre to listen to because i get a lot of where these things are all rooted#but i canNOT relate to anything theyre saying first of all and second it did make me feel like i was in a satirical comic or something#very 'he just tweeted it out ive been studying gender for years and he just...tweeted it out' 😭#it was a little funny but also so horrifically sad both as a homosexual and someone who has awful communication issues#and who has had relationships crumble before because of it! it is so scary to be straightforward but like#i dont want them to live their whole lives like that </3 there is a better world possible even just asking for what you want surely!
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turning so evil i just need one of my ccs to hold me until im normal again
#i need a cc who is kind of mean and ruthless to keep an eye out for me and make sure i stand up for myself#idk who it wld be thou most of my favs r kinda niceys#wait. itd be ayato#and id be like. arent you literally polite to people for a living.#hed start his whole rant about how his job isnt just that and im like oh yeah its also doing paperwork instead of hanging out with ur spous#then he'll pout and ill kiss him on the tip of the nose and smile bc i dont rly mind that much#i nevr realised playing genshin cld feel like such a chore........#early game is genuinely such a nightmare jfc#general barks#but yeah at the moment im shaking and twitching and letting off a visible evil aura#like a hilichurl enchanted by an abyss mage#FOAMING AT THE MOUTH IM SO EVIL
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You decide to sleep on the couch after an argument pt.2
pt1 here
love and deepspace
characters: Rafayel, Xavier
Rafayel
Stubborn, petty, and a total brat are the words that perfectly describe Rafayel during arguments. It doesn’t help that you’re as stubborn as he is, but most of the time you manage to find the middle ground. Except tonight. Tonight is the night you got fed up with his attitude and the argument it caused was just awful. For an hour, both of you argued something so stupid but he wasn’t backing down and at this point, it was getting so tiring you just wanted to put an end to this.
“You know what” You throw your hands in the air “I’m done. I’m going to sleep”
Rafayel scoffed muttering something about you running away from an argument under his breath. However, his face dropped when he saw you entering the living room with a pillow and a blanket. He rushed to you with such an offended look.
“Excuse me?”
“What?” You barked at him.
“Wha- seriously? what are you doing?”
“What does it look like?”
“Child’s tantrum, honestly”
You stopped making the bed on the couch and just looked at him unimpressed. The gesture made Rafayel scoff once again and retreat from you.
“You want to be petty? be my guest. I’m going to sleep in our room, in our bed”
With that, he left you and slammed his door on his way.
“Such a child” you mutter and lay down on the couch, too agitated to sleep, replaying the argument in your mind over and over. You both said horrible things to each other and you wanted to run to him and apologize, but what hurt more than an argument is how he left you here and he, himself, went to sleep. After hours of beating yourself up for tonight’s events, you finally fell asleep not knowing Rafayel was staring at the ceiling of the bedroom feeling just as guilty if not more. Also, he hates to admit it, but he cannot sleep without you, so with a defeated sigh he made a decision.
Sunlight stirs you awake in the morning. Your neck is sore from an uncomfortable position on the couch. With a groan, you turn around and open your eyes to be startled by a purple ball right into your face. Blinking, to adjust your eyesight you realise it’s Rafayel’s head. He’s sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the couch and a blanket around his shoulders.
“You have to be kidding me” you mutter with disbelief “Rafayel”
He groaned and rubbed his eyes as he opened them.
“Oh, hi”
You just look at him dumbfounded before bursting out laughing.
“Shut up, will you?” He grumbled.
“Oh my god, you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
He stayed silent and got up from the floor, with you following his suit.
“To what? to admit you were right? kind of… I mean you were wrong in some aspects… okay, fine you were right… and what else? to admit I couldn’t sleep without you?” He avoided your eyes and you couldn’t miss the blush spreading on his cheeks “Because I couldn’t… sleep without you, I mean”
You pinch his cheek before kissing him making his already red face even more red.
“I’m sorry too”
He quickly regained his composure walking past you.
“Yeah, yeah… c’mon let’s make breakfast”
And you follow him with a chuckle.
Xavier
You have to try really hard to have an argument with Xavier. Both of you are in perfect sync and hardly ever disagree with each other. Therefore, arguments are rare. But not nonexistent. Take tonight, for example. Xavier doesn’t need shouting and screaming to get his point through. His face devoid of any expression and cold voice make good enough job. You, on the other hand, feel like you’re on fire, and his calm nature, reassuring other times, only fuels your fire. Finally, you make the decision that you don’t want to spend any more time with him tonight… or until you calm down. So you take your blanket and set up a makeshift bed on the couch.
Xavier doesn’t pay you any mind. He didn’t even notice you reentering the living room as he started playing his video game to unwind from the previous argument. An hour passes, then another. At last, he’s had enough and turned off the video game you’ve been cursing in your mind past hour. He expects you to be asleep in your room so imagine his confusion when he sees you on the couch, still not asleep. Xavier then shrugs before going to the bedroom and coming back with his pajamas on.
“Move” he says when he walks up to you.
You turn to him.
“What?”
“Move, I’m sleepy”
“Then go to sleep”
“I’m trying to, but you won’t move” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. After a moment of hesitation, you move to make room for him. He silently slides under the blanket and since the couch is too small for both of you, he positions you in a way that you’re lying on top of him.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I couldn’t sleep”
His hand started to caress the back of your head.
“Because you’re mad at me?”
“Because I’m mad at you”
A sigh escapes his lips.
“I didn’t mean… whatever I said. I don’t know, I don’t even remember what I said”
That made you giggle.
“Neither do I. But I’m sorry… for what I said”
“Yeah, me too”
You both stay silent after that. His hand stops caressing you after a while.
“We can go to bed if you want to”
You suggest but a soft snore Xavier releases lets you know that it won’t happen, so you just accept your fate.
#rafayel#lads xavier#rafayel love and deepspace#lnds rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel x mc#loveanddeepspace#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#xavier x mc#rafayel fluff#xavier fluff#lnds
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