#but i love patton so i had to do SOMETHING

[energetically-exhausted]

happy Fathers' Day from Patton!!!

@thatsthat24

[analoceits]

i love DLAMP as a dynamic however i find it viscerally boring when theyre all boyfriends that have a completely normal relationship but also boring when they are just besties. i need them to be Insane and weird.

moceit is in an on-and-off again that could be straight out of a sitcom with how bullshit the dramatics are. they are so divorced and also married. this somehow does not effect the rest of the polycule.

janus keeps trying to break up analogical. virgil and logan both think this is him flirting. this pisses virgil off, and makes logan blush. logan and janus have made out abt this before. virgil and janus almost did but virgil panicked, bit him, and ran away.

moxiety and royality are both very VERY cute qprs. prinxiety arent dating or a qpr but they do occasionally make out. usually after sparring or after heated arguments. no one knows why, and no one plans to ask.

virgil one time, for sillies put out official polycule roles for everyone on the fridge. patton was the cook, roman was twink, janus was gender transer, and logan was tax-filer, before virgil scratched it out and replaced it with "poor little meow meow". the chaos after shouldve been expected.

(janus's official role is Gender Transer bc her being genderfluid made both virgil (bigender, she/he) and logan (transfem, they/she) realize they may Not Be Cis.)

remus isnt in the polycule but he has Something going on with every non-roman member of the polycule. no one can quantify exactly what, but it is Something. roman covers his ears and goes "LALALALA" when anyone brings this up.

roman AND janus both have an official Boyfriend Leaderboard. they are both permanently at the top of each others leaderboards because "mutually assured destruction". somehow, this causes very few problems.

remy has had a Thing with all of them. all of them really want to ask abt adding him to the polycule, but none of them know abt remys Things with the others so they dont know if its appropriate yet. remy knows and finds this fucking hilarious.

[lefaystrent]

"I want to tell you something."

Thomas speaks the words into the quiet of the kitchen. He stares down at the pot of water sitting on the stove. The burner has been lit, and the heat rises. Soon, the water will boil.

"And it's- it's something that I've thought for a long time now. Years. But I've never said anything."

The smallest of bubbles rise to the surface. Over his shoulder, Thomas can see Patton sitting at the bar.

"It's okay. Take your time," he says. His nose scrunches up as he smiles. His glasses reflect a scattering of kitchen light.

Thomas snorts. "I think years is enough time." He breaks a bundle of pasta in half, letting them fall gently into the steaming water. He adjusts the temperature, then shifts on his feet. "I've just...never said anything," he repeats.

"You don't have to say anything at all." Janus sits at the bar instead. He wears a frown, and he's leaned over the surface with his chin in a propped palm, but the patience in his gaze belays his bored demeanor. "If you don't want to, you don't have to. I certainly won't force you."

Want to? No.

Thomas shakes his head and stirs the pot. "I think I need to."

"Do you?" Logan sits at the bar. His arms are folded over his tie, but it's not an intimidating pose. It's careful. Considerate. "I'd like you to take a moment to 'check yourself before you wreck yourself', as they say. Is that how you use that phrase?"

Thomas rolls his eyes, and yet he's smiling. This is a heavy topic, but it's not constricting. He stirs the noodles easily and they begin to fold together like they were made to. "I'm okay. I don't need to think about it more. I'm not anxious, not really."

"Yeah?" And now it's Virgil sitting at the bar. He stops as if he had been caught in the middle of playing with the string of his hoodie. Then he smooths down the front of his clothes. No ruffles here. He nods. "Good. That's good. That's good, right?"

Thomas still smiles. "Yes, that's good." The pasta softens as it swirls around the water. Round and round it goes. When will it stop? Nobody knows.

"Well don't just keep me in suspense!" Remus slams his hand down on the bar. And then he does it again and again, maybe just to hear the smack, smack, smack. He's not grinning maniacally or anything. Just a quirk of his mustache. A glint in his eyes. A cocked brow. "You know I love a good tease... but this is playing too coy!"

Thomas heaves a huge sigh. "I guess I just..." He trails off. He knocks the spoon against the pot's rim to shake off the water. He sets it aside. "I just don't want this to change anything."

The warmth of the burner blankets his face. The stove vent thrums above his head, and distantly Thomas hears the air conditioner click on. A light sheen of perspiration beads across his face, but its not wholly unpleasant.

Would it be bad? If this did change anything?

Roman sits at the bar. His shoulders are low, like all the breath has left him. He watches Thomas calmly with sad eyes. "What have you got to lose?"

In the pot, the pasta swirls and swirls until it's ready.

"I love you," Thomas finally says, and he turns to look over his shoulder to find that it's himself who sits there.

The other him beams proudly. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

Satisfied, Thomas flicks off the stove burner and drains the water in the sink. He stirs together noodles, hamburger meat, and red sauce, until its in perfect measures, just the way he likes it.

After making himself a plate, Thomas sits at the dining table. He is alone with himself, and he's alright with that.

[part-time-zombie]

Ranking the sides based on how angsty they are (or potentially can be) to me, from least to most angsty imo:

(this is all for funsies and just my personal opinion/headcanons)

6: janus.

I know we have the whole redemption arc thing going on with him, but I feel like he lives for the drama and doesn't let too many insults cut too deep (unless you go below the belt, roman).

5: virgil.

While he was definitely full of angst in the past (and keeps up the edginess even now), I think he's grown a thicker skin and is more angry and resentful than sad and self-deprecating lately.

4: remus.

I know he's just a silly little guy, and I love that for him, but if I decide he cares about anything he can be so freaking angsty yall, it is unreal. Basically he's like instant angst, but diy edition.

3: patton.

We've had a whole two-parter and an 8bit breakdown talking about him and his repressed emotions. As easy as it is to see him as just a "happy pappy patton", it's important to remember that.

2: roman.

Yall. This man. He tries so hard and with almost no recognition or appreciation at all. People tell him to do or believe something and then punish him for doing so. He needs a break(down).

1: logan.

need I say more.

[elliehase-blog]

The Valentine's Surprise

It’s just a random day in February and Roman bursts through the door, bringing a blast of cold air from outside into Virgil’s room.

“We have a problem!”

“Hm,” Virgil replies without looking up from his book.

“It’s an emergency,” Roman says more emphatically.

Virgil lifts an eyebrow slightly. “Is the house on fire? Should I run for my life?”

“Much worse.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roman unceremoniously flop down on the armchair next to him, burying his face in his arms.

“We have no date for Valentine’s Day,” he says in a tone of voice in which other people say, ‘I only have six months to live’. “Why do I think of this so late every year? Why? Why is Valentine’s Day always so sudden?”

Virgil smirks behind the pages. “Yes, it’s hard to believe that they put it so spontaneously and completely arbitrarily on February the 14th again. Is it no longer possible to rely on anything in life?”

Roman fishes for a pillow and throws it in Virgil’s direction. “Not funny, Mister Sarcasm!”

It becomes more than clear that Roman, with all his pre-Valentine’s heartbreak, isn’t going anywhere else. Virgil struggles with himself for a moment before finally putting the book aside and turning to Roman.

“Why are you bothering me with this anyway? Patton seems to me the right side to contact for your problem.”

Roman sighs deeply and tragically. “No, it has to be you,” he confesses and comes finally to the point. “You’re the one who can push this problem into focus.”

‘Ah’ thinks Virgil, only mildly surprised. No one ever comes to him for advice. Especially not Roman.

“Listen, Princey, weren’t we all agreeing on not psyching ourself out over some day and instead celebrating love in all its forms?”

He knew that the topic would come up again, no matter how well Roman coped with the whole thing on the outside. You don’t have to be a genius to realize that his thoughts still revolve around Nico Flores and the unclear relationship.

“Ugh.” Roman sighs again. “It’s just…,” he starts to explain and his voice sounds husky, as if he had a cold. “I’m Thomas’s romantic side and I should do something, right? Valentine’s Day makes me sentimental, and I want to throw around grand gestures, but… What’s the point of embracing love if you never get anything back?”

That was too much of an exaggeration, even by Roman’s standards. Virgil would like to make a sarcastic remark again, but he can’t. Not when Roman looks like that, so worked up and hurt. It always causes a strange tug in his chest that he can’t quite explain.

“Wow, that’s a gloomy way of seeing it.” Virgil swings his legs over the edge of the couch and stands up. “Come on, you stayed already for too long in my room. Breathe, okay?”

Roman allows Virgil to grab him by the arm and carefully escort him out of this dark corner of the mind.

“Better?”

“Better,” Roman agrees, but still sounding a little helpless.

It’s unbearable.

“Okay, you know what, let me show you something.”

Almost energetically, Virgil manoeuvres them in the direction of the stairs. It’s kind of surprising how little defensive Roman is about all of it. Usually, he is protesting and whining a lot more. For now, he just raises his arms in a questioning manner.

“Virge, what-” he stops abruptly. Roman has the widened, panicked gaze of a deer on the highway that suddenly and abruptly finds itself in the middle of the headlights of an approaching truck.

“Oh my goodness! Are you kidding me?! What’s… Why…?”

Virgil bites his lower lip, amused. “My pet spider wanted a friend, and you’re always into battling monsters, so…”

“No, no, no… No!”

“Isn’t this what you wanted? Unconditional, requited love.”

Roman looks at Virgil, then at the spider and his tiny self, and finally back to Virgil again.

“You’re unbelievable.”

Virgil crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. To be honest, he’s just a little smug about it. You can’t choose where Cupid’s arrow will land.

“What can I say, you make my spider feel special and awesome.”

The corners of Roman’s mouth twitch. It looks like a smile he’s suppressing. “I will tolerate this nonsense,” he says benevolently. “But it’s not at all solving my problem.”

Virgil should walk away now, leaving Roman behind with nothing but his self-doubts and fears. That’s at least what the old anxiety would do. Damn it, he is not the one who is usually comforting people! But then again… it’s all about family, right? At least, that’s what Patton would say.

“I can’t believe that I have to point it out.” Virgil sighs and feels a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. “Love always comes around for us when we least expect it. You don’t have to force anything, Roman. Accept and acknowledge what you already have. There’s a lot of affection in different ways and forms around you. You’re just not seeing it clear.”

It’s strange to have said it out loud after it’s been rumbling in his stomach like an ulcer. Strange and relieving at the same time.

Virgil clears his throat. Anyway, it’s not that he meant anyone specific. What matters is, that Roman’s face suddenly lights up with a warm, knowing smile. It makes Virgil feel a whole lot better too.

"I knew I could count on you," says Roman softly, and no one is commenting it.

💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️

I hope you enjoyed the small (not beta-read) story. I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes my german brain wasn't seeing.

[oliviaischillin1204]

hands on experience (tickletober day 3- "prank")

word count: 1,221 words

this was intended as a seasonal fic (you'll see what i mean lol) but i'm glad i got to finish it!

Roman rose up without any warning. "I'm in trouble!"

The other sides all looked at him. He seemed deceptively happy about what he just said.

Logan, after a beat, slowly closed his book. "Alright. Let's hear it."

"Are you okay, kiddo?" Patton asked, moving towards him.

"It's a prank," Virgil chimed in. He hadn't moved from his position on the stairs, eyeing Roman with a distinct suspicion. "It's April Fools' day, remember?"

"Correct on both accounts, my fine fearful friend!" Roman said. "It is April Fools' Day, and I am in the middle of a prank-- but not on anyone in this room!"

The other sides looked at each other before Patton asked a wary, "Who... is the prank for, Roman?"

The prince opened his mouth, but no words came out as another side appeared in the room.

"Ah," Roman said instead, eyes sparkling, "good morrow, Janus! To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Janus, for all intents and purposes, seemed almost surprised to see the other sides as they were to see him. His eyes flicked around the room somewhat frantically.

"Oh, goody," he hissed, "more people. Exactly what I wanted, Roman, thank you."

"Janus?" Patton asked. "What's up, kiddo?"

Clearing his throat, Janus tried to straighten up, but there was something off about the way he was holding his hands clutched against his chest. He breathed deeply, then winced, like even that was too much movement.

"Our... lovely Roman," he gritted out, "decided it would be oh so funny to... alter... my gloves, for this ridiculous 'holiday'."

"You don't like April Fool's Day, Janus?" Logan asked.

"Not when the joke's on him," Virgil replied. His lips were beginning to quirk up. "I don't know what Princey did, but if you hate it, I love it."

Patton made a wounded noise. "Wh- no, guys! If Janus doesn't like being pranked, he shouldn't have to be!"

"Kinda think you don't really understand pranks, Pat," Virgil said. "You're not meant to ask for permission before you do it."

Janus shot him an icy look. "Well in that case, I'm sure you won't mind it the next time Roman decide to enchant your clothes to--"

He froze, the human side of his face going darker.

"Roman." Logan said. "Do I even need to ask if that's true, or should we just skip to you telling us what you did to Janus' gloves."

"Nothing permanent, nothing scarring, and nothing you wouldn't approve of, Teach." Roman smirked at Janus, who looked like he was trying to murder Roman with his eyes. "Why don't you tell them, Janus?"

"You--"

And then Roman snapped, and Janus screamed.

"No!" He gasped, clawing at his gloves. "Enough! E-nough-- nahahahahaha!"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Ah. I see. I do approve."

"Fuck off," Janus spat, but the impact was greatly lessened by the desperate giggles falling from his mouth. He moved like he couldn't control his body, his torso desperately wiggling back and forth and his knees buckling. Through peals of laughter he tugged desperately at the edges, but whatever magic Roman had done clearly meant those gloves would only come off when he was ready.

"Oh, my gosh," Patton whispered, enraptured. "You gave him tickle gloves!"

"Lined with a thousand invisible feathers, all programmed to move according to body heat and hand movement," Roman said proudly. He shot Janus a sidelong look, grin widening. "Or when I tell them to, of course."

"A breheheheak!" Janus squealed, stamping his feet on the ground. "Plehehehease!"

"No, hang on, Roman, I don't think I get it," Virgil said gleefully. "Why don't you explain it to me again? Much slower this time, please."

"Why certainly, Virgil! You see--"

Janus kicked Roman in the shin.

"Fuck!"

"A break you bitch!" he shrieked.

"Come on, Ro, let him breathe," Patton said, although he was clearly enjoying the show as much as any of them. Roman hemmed and hawed, but acquiesced, snapping his fingers again.

Immediately Janus clutched his hands to his chest again. "You bitch."

"You said that already." Roman clearly wasn't offended, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Now, they've heard my side, Janus-- how do you feel about the gift I got for you?"

Indignation flicked across Janus' face. "Oh, yes, what a marvelous gift, transforming one of my favorite accessories into a-- a death trap."

"Inaccurate," Logan supplied helpfully. "We can't die."

"Y--" Janus sighed. "Thank you, Logan."

"You know, I'm a little bit surprised," Patton said. "I never really thought about hands being very ticklish before."

"Oh, Patton, you've been missing out," Virgil said. "Janus' hands are super ticklish. Especially the backs, it makes him fucking nuts."

Roman nodded. "I believe he once described the sensation to me as 'electric tingles from his nails to his elbows'. It sounded absolutely delightful, frankly, so I thought I'd give him a little gift!"

Janus clicked his tongue but made no further comment; he couldn't-- even when he kept as still as possible, the gloves still radiated a buzzy ticklish energy that ran across the thin skin of his hands and set his nerves alight. It took all of his energy to not laugh again, settling for taking shaky breaths and shifting back and forth on his feet.

"You've made your point," he hissed to Roman. "Change them back now, please."

He didn't have to argue anymore: Roman snapped again, but as Janus flinched again in anticipation of the oncoming tickles, he was instead faced with the tingles ceasing entirely. He blinked, and Roman shrugged.

"You said please," he said pleasantly.

"... I said please earlier," Janus grumbled, face flushed. Belatedly he yanked off his gloves, shaking out his hands and rubbing them together to dispel the leftover tickles.

"Oh, here, let me--" Patton reached out a hand, but Janus shrank away, hissing furiously.

"Woah!" He put his hands up placatingly. "I was just gonna hold your gloves for you, kiddo. I didn't mean to scare you!"

"No, you--" Janus started, then stopped. He looked around the group. "Why is everyone looking at me?"

"Oh, shit, you're jumpy," Virgil laughed. "We're not gonna do it again, dude. You can chill."

"Indeed," Logan said. "The prank was amusing, but you wanted it to stop, so it did."

Janus felt wrong footed. "Of course. I knew that. Obviously."

"Wow, that was really clever, Roman," Patton said. "Oh! Can you do a prank on me next? But don't tell me what it is! Just tell me when it's about to happen and what I should do to make it work."

"You got it, Padre." Roman winked, and one by one all the Sides sank down until it was just him and Janus. The latter was staring at the wall, pretending he couldn't feel Roman's pointed stare.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Roman smirked. Wordlessly he held out his hand, and after a few long beats, Janus shot a hand out and place it in his palm.

"That's what I thought," Roman replied smugly. God, he was a bastard. Janus should tell him that. Except it was kind of hard to talk now that Roman's fingers were scratching gently along the back of his hand, what with the giggles freely falling from his lips again.

"If you wanted a more hands-on experience, Janus, all you had to do was ask."

[yomica12345]

Royal AU?

I know there are plenty of Royal AUs in the Sanders Sides fandom already but... If I were to do one who would you want to be royalty? I may take the results of this poll into consideration as I'm coming up with my concept, but I'll give you a little peek of what to expect by sharing my placeholder title: Royals and Wizards. Are the royals not going to be wizards or are they wizards themselves? Who knows? Also I may have multiple Princes so... make sure to reblog especially if it means others may want the same side(s) to be royalty. But the first place vote will be the concept I will ultimately be going with for this au.

Here are possible concepts for what each side(s) au may be like if they're at the top of the poll:

Roman and Remus:

Two brothers fighting for the crown as their parents aren't exactly sure which of them is the oldest. In order to have a chance at the crown they must find love and be the first to marry. Who would find love first or would it just be a race to get someone to agree to a marriage?

Virgil:

Virgil never wanted the responsibility of a kingdom to be placed on his shoulders but with the King and Queens passing the mantel will soon fall to him. Unable to handle the stress Virgil decides to run away to try and escape the responsibility. Will he be able to escape the crown or will he be found in time to be crowned king?

Logan:

Prince Logan has got it bad for Virgil. (Yes, Analogical because I'm obsessed) But betrothed from a young age Logan has to decide to whether to take up his responsibility as the prince to marry someone for the good of the kingdom or take the decision into his own hands and go with the man he truly loves. (In this one Logan would most likely be a wizard so wizard antics would definitely play a part in the story)

Patton:

As heir to the thrown Patton needs to find someone who he can trust to rule along side him and in order to this a selection is held. (Yes like based off the Selection Series but make it gay and Sander Sides) Meeting with different suitors Patton has trouble narrowing the list of suitors down. Will he be able to find The One?

Janus:

Janus has had a rivalry with a prince of a neighboring kingdom since he was young. (Not sure who the other prince would be yet) Wanting to get back at this other prince he sneaks into their kingdom and their sleeping quarters in order to steal something as leverage against them. However his plan goes awry as he's caught and his lies have him committing himself to spying on himself for this prince who actually just wants to win his heart. Will Janus end up developing feelings back? He certainly hopes not.

P.S. I might come out with another poll later for who you may want to see as a wizard.

[theelmoarchive]

Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there

(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on 🔥🔥)

(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)

Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.

I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.

I think Roman is going to duck out.

I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.

He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.

Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.

+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.

When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:

"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"

Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?

"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."

Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.

"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."

[same thing]

"I actually think you were right to not want me around."

Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).

(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.

In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.

"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")

(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)

WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-

"I've always aimed to protect you,"

THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.

"I thought I was your hero."

So yeah.

Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.

Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.

Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.

So yeah thats really awesome idk.

Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.

It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.

Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway.

I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:

(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)

"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."

And

"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"

The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.

(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)

Also. Who can forget.

Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then

"That's a thing you can do?"

😐

Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.

Okay anyway.

Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.

But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶

[warnadudenexttime]

Ok here’s my personal rewrite on “the sides have a nice day” video

DISCLAIMER: if you infact like that video, that’s so real, so valid, good for you, I’m just here to change it a lil into something I think makes more sense/fits the characters better-

I think the premise is fine, but the execution is ehhhh- like look, I’ll keep the original spirit of the video and keep the big 3 inside it cause I know thomas likes them. So I’ll keep logicality then prinxiety then demus. Thumbs up? HWJAJSJ

I think the part of the video that probably needs the smallest tweaking is the first portion with Logan and Patton. It’s fine enough, Patton wanting to do something nice for Logan? Makes perfect sense, dude loves Logan. But the explanation as to why Patton is accidentally ruining Logan’s like- fun day experience? Is like, bro you’re SHJSJSS really running with innocent stupid doe eye’d Patton characterization rn huh?

Consider this instead, so instead of Patton was stupid “oh I didn’t realize the videos were just edited together! That’s why they went super fast!” Just say he was really excited to see Logan enjoying things, he got caught up in his excitement/feelings. Like to just say, oh he’s dumb and didn’t notice at all lol hurts- cause we know Patton is really emotionally intelligent and he would be able to notice at least after a while. So have Logan stop him, and Patton apologize and realize he just let his emotions cloud his goal of giving Logan a nice day. Ok good.

Next one. So, Virgil is giving Roman a good day, I get why- you know. You wanna push that new Roman and Virgil hating Janus friendship. But this whole section makes Virgil look like the biggest a**hole HEJAJSJ- like he’s making Roman uncomfortable or scared throughout it all and he doesn’t notice until the end where Roman basically self projects and is really sad HEJAJSJ I understand you wanted this to be an opportunity for Roman to feel better- or the comedy that is Roman reacting to Virgil sucking at being… a good friend- but consider this!

Roman sees that Patton gave Logan a good day and Roman’s like, he needs something to cheer him up, get his mind off being a downer of a prince. So he’s gonna one up Patton and give virgil a good day! Virgil! The dude who’s like doom and gloom! But if you still wanna have that comedy of something going wrong. Instead of it to where virgil is giving Roman choices he thinks he may likes but then turns out it’s just stuff virgil enjoys- have it be Roman giving stuff he enjoys and thinking “well if I like it, it’s great, so virgil will like it too!” But instead it twists into something virgil likes!

Follow me here, for example. Roman gives Virgil the option of sharing adventure stories, something he enjoys. But Virgil ends up telling Roman a spooky story which freaks Roman out and Roman’s like well that failed! It didn’t go according to my plan! And he keeps offering choices he would like, but virgil twists it into something he would enjoy or it just ends up like that.

And by the end Roman feels awful, he thinks it must have sucked and wants to apologize to Virgil. But Virgil’s like no dude I had an absolutely great day you’re a really good friend, you knew exactly what I like! So that way you get the sweet moment at the end but also the comedy of Roman reacting to things going poorly inbetween. I think it as well just makes more sense for Roman to do that initiative and go for something like this.

Ok so, this last one… it still hurts me so badly to hear Janus say “I’ve convinced Thomas to lean into his intrusive thoughts today” GOD IT HURTS SO BADLYYYY like not only is that such a misrepresentation of what intrusive thoughts are supposed to be, they’re not silly tik tok impulsive thoughts I’m gonna- ok I’m getting off topic.

I’m gonna be real this section is going to be very biased because I don’t like Janus and Remus being close besties, I’m admitting that here so you already know what we are getting into. I just don’t think self preservation, someone trying to keep Thomas at the top and in good health would be like HELL YEAH THOMAS DANGLE YOUR PHONE OFF A BRIDGE GO BANG UP A CAR GO TO JAIL FOR ALL I CARE! But anyways.

The whole joke at the end is, wow Patton and Virgil kinda suck at doing this but I Janus can give that little freak a good day so easily!

Here’s my pitch, have Remus at the end pop up to say, this video has gotten too mushy and feelingy and all that sh-t I’m gonna give Janus a bad day because why not! Seeing him in misery is fun!

And then just have short sections of Janus outsmarting Remus everytime he tries to give him a bad choice, Janus ends up flipping it somehow to something he would enjoy. Kinda like WTIT where Remus is like OH NO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO OPEN THE DOOR! Then he gets stabbed because he’s stupid. I think this just personally makes more sense to me, then like- yes Janus would probably wanna show up the others but I can’t see him leaning into intrusive thoughts. But as I said, I’m biased.

So yeah there’s my rewrite of that video this was long but yeah :3 if you didn’t like this rewrite and/or prefer the original you’re so valid! Anything here is just my opinion and obviously isn’t the actual best approach.

[boneyspades]

i remember telling my best friend about the plot of sanders sides and how C!Thomas has different versions of himself that make up his personality but only he can see them and my best friend's just like "oh so he's got schizophrenia" lmao but I was like "nah they just imaginary"

but honestly now I'm just thinking what IF he did have schizophrenia? what if in the series finale Thomas just does a complete fucking plot twist on us where like- hold on I'm doing this in a fic format I just gotta- (I'm not good at writing so it might be a lil shit )

_

TW: MENTIONS OF OD (OVERDOSING)/MEDICATION (idk if that needs a TW but just to be sure)

Thomas let out a small sigh as he stared up at the stars, holding his new lover, Niko's, hand. everything just made a little more sense now. there was peace, for the first time in what seemed to be a decade. a decade of never ending dilemmas, a decade of fighting with himself constantly over things that may just seemed like small issues to everyone else, a decade of finding new things about himself, the good and the bad, at least that's what it felt like. Thomas and the sides, who watched from a distance, watched Niko as he let go of Thomas's hand and stood up to stretch before his eyes landed on his lover.

"It's getting a bit late.. we should head to bed" Niko spoke softly, a warm tone escaping his mouth.

Thomas sat up, letting out a stretch himself before nodding in agreement. they both grabbed at each others hands once again before heading back inside into Thomas's apartment, Thomas shutting the door behind them.

"You go up ahead, I just need to go to the bathroom for a sec.." Thomas rubbed his thumb against Niko's fingers softly as he spoke. Niko laughed in response, "Ok, don't take too long, like usual."

Thomas could only laugh with Niko softly as he watched him head upstairs. he lingered the feeling for a moment, staring at the stairs where he saw Niko leave to. it felt nice feeling loved like this after so long. he snapped out of his semi trance before heading to the bathroom, a small smile etched on his face.

he didn't even get to touch the door before he heard a different, but familiar voice.

"Thomas?..."

Thomas turned around to see Patton, Roman, Logan, Virgil and even Janus and Remus all standing there looking at Thomas, Patton standing in front of everyone else with Logan having his hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. as Thomas looked at the others, his smile began to slowly fade as he noticed the expressions on each of their faces.. they were washed over with melancholy but with a hint of determination in their eyes. it was out of character for alot of them, especially Remus. Why wasn't he spewing out horrifying ideas as Thomas? why wasn't Roman celebrating the new love they had received?

Before Thomas could even ask any of the questions he was thinking about, Patton gently grabbed a hold of Thomas's hand, turning it palm side up before placing something in his hand and pushing Thomas's fingers to close his hand around the object. Thomas looked down and opened up his hand to see the a small prescription container filled with medication that he'd refused to take for so long. his stomach weighed heavy.

"It's time to let us go."

Patton's soft voice ringed heavy around everyone. Thomas's head snapped up to look at Patton. he could feel his heart pound heavier and heavier as the realisation sank in of what Patton meant.

"n-no.. n-no I can't! I can't do that I-"

"Thomas, we've done all we could've done. there's nothing for us here anymore."

Logan added to Patton's words, "He's correct, Thomas. We all have completed our functions and it is safe to say that you don't require us anymore. it's finally that time."

Thomas's eyes darted to Logan. he couldn't believe it. the fact that Logan was agreeing to something as crazy as this. no one was even arguing about it. were they really right about this? Thomas tried to choke back on his tears.

"Will I ever see you all again?"

"Sure ya will, kiddo! when the times right.."

Roman took a few steps closer to Thomas, placing a hand on Thomas's shoulder in a means of comfort.

"Don't worry about us, Thomas. As I've always said, The adventure never ends, and besides, it's not easy to get rid of THE prince Roman... and the others I guess"

Thomas couldn't help but laugh softly and appreciate Roman trying to lighten up the mood. He could tell Roman didn't want to disappear. he wasn't sure if he'd ever come back, he just told that to not only Thomas but also himself to make himself feel better. Thomas looked over at Janus and Virgil who'd only gave a small singular nod, telling Thomas to take the medication. Thomas's eyes landed onto Patton again, soon bringing him in for a long embrace. Patton returned the hug as Roman and Remus joined in. Logan, virgil and Janus only placed a hand on Thomas's back for comfort since they weren't really one for physical contact.

once they all let go of eachother, all the sides could see the singular tear rolling down Thomas's cheek before he'd turned his back towards them to grab a pill from the container. "Don't overdose~" chimed in Remus, his voice breaking. Thomas could only scoff and whisper a "shut up" before he placed a pill in his mouth, grabbing a near by glass of water that had been sitting there from before and taking a big sip. he swallowed. Thomas could feel the unpleasant sensation of the pill sliding down his throat, like his body refused it, like it knew it would take the sides away from him. he looked down in the glass for a moment before realising he forgot to say something.

"Guys i-"

once he turned around. there was no one there. No Patton, no Logan, no Roman, no Virgil, no Janus, No Remus. no one. he was alone. the tears only got more intense as the realisation settled in. they were gone for good. Thomas hiccuped as his crying got more intense.

"Thank you."

_

and then it'd cut to black. end of the series. pardon my shitty writing but like if it were to end like this I'd just end up dying honestly

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Realized that last night was the Feast of the Parting and I had a question. When it comes to soulmates in Pieces Verse, are they the same every life? AND are these 6 entangled with each other in every life?

(actually, feast of the parting happens on the new moon closest to the hibernal equinox, which this year is in about a week on the 30th!)

okay so to explain this ive gotta get into the nitty gritty details of how reincarnation works in this religion, and across different religious denominations

the overlap - people are believed to reincarnate into new lives for the purpose of Learning A Lesson. each life teaches you something, and this is supposed to improve your souls sort of resonance with the rest of the world. More Harmony Good

in the denomination patton and virgils families follow, the pattern is typically that they believe you will be a person when you need a very Big Lesson, because being a person is one of the harder things to be, and then you get a kind of 'break' and then you get to be bugs or plants for a hundred years or so to rest up a bit

in this framework, when people are 'made' before theyre born/getting ready to 'come back,' -

(side tangent this isnt considered a *separate* afterlife really, the idea is that dead folks and other souls are sort of floating around in parallel ether- this is a house with two rooms and thin walls, and birth/dying is walking back and forth through the door to the other)

-theyre made as one 'piece' in pairs (or triads, etc) in the position they'll be in when they first touch, and then theyre split the idea is that theyre sort of snipped apart at the soulmark and sent on ahead separately

also irt being human being The Biggest Lesson, they are also the only species that has soulmarks, animals dont - so the soulmate is considered an integral part of this lesson (which conservatives usually flatten to 'learn to love (romantically) better' but which more liberal churches stress can be anything)

so in fact, in this framework your soulmate is explicitly different every time. your soul is fashioned in a new shape and needs a new pair, supposedly.

as for the second bit we gotta talk about the nobles

the broad strokes are very similar - you are reincarnated to learn/improve yourself, but the nobles view this on much less emotional lines and more materially, and they dont typically believe the alternating-human-plant-animal thing - nobles believe you go directly from being a noble human to being A Higher Noble Human, until the very best smartest most awesome people /heavy s are reincarnated into the royal families and may or may not become monarch

ah but when the monarch dies, what then? because westrand is obviously the best country, and the monarch is the best person, theres nowhere better to go! /more s

well they believe that the monarch 'Ascends' and becomes permanently immaterial ie in the other room, manipulating the world from there because theyve 'earned' their way into being in charge of the eventual One 2: Electric Boogaloo

the nobles also believe in absolute predestination, that every part of their lives from birth to death was written by them and the souls of their family members before they were ever born. they believe souls who were tied by blood ties in life will always be born still tied by blood. so when a noble makes a marriage match in an attempt to gain political clout, they are also trying to improve their 'spiritual' clout by blood-tying themselves to an equally 'spiritually superior' family

they do think that a soulbond teaches you a lesson, but they usually think that lesson always ought to be 'i dont need a soulmate or indeed any human love or connection at all, wym' - some more liberal nobles believe it more along the lines of 'we have to make sacrifices in order to be the best rulers we can be' but its still not great vibes

as for which of these is materially true, since the series deals so much with sometimes traumatic religious themes, and i because i have multiple denominations and do plan on introducing some minority religions (soon!) im not actually going to say any of the things above are canon or otherwise except that theyre the canonical beliefs of the in-universe religion. i just dont feel like it makes sense to say 'you dont have to do all the bullshit that your religion raised you to do' and then turn around and make one of the religions explicitly and confirmably real

[birdiedoesdc]

my fics

batfam:

the misfortune of knowing anything: gen, 3.8k

Jason has dragged Tim Drake into his attempt to run away. Batman wants it to be known that he does not eat children. This is what you get for hoarding orphans, Bruce.

my shoulders are heavy already: teen, 9k

Damian is not sick. Dick is not having a crisis. Also, freezer pops.

exponential childhood acquisition: gen, 2.7k

An average morning in the life of Bruce Wayne, single father to approximately six children.

what right had you not to let me die?: teen, 3.8k

Jason Todd is about to find out why hundred and four degree fevers are, generally, considered detrimental to one's well-being. Tim Drake is about to commit crimes against Top Ramen and humanity. Bruce Wayne is about to fret. What else do you expect?

a hundred different ways to say the same thing: teen, 2k

Dick and Jason are very normal people with a very normal sibling-ish relationship.

whole package, babe, i like the way you fit: teen, 3.9k

Officer Tomás Martinez is beset upon by precocious, acrobatic children. Featuring child endangerment, celebrity crushes, and candy.

just a boy who had to sing this song: teen, 4.8k

Dick Grayson, in the week after his parents' murder.

i know it's over, still i cling: teen, 1.8k

Jason Todd, in the immediate aftermath of Under the Red Hood.

yarn over, pull through: teen, 11.4k

Jason Todd learns how to crochet. It turns out that having healthy emotional outlets improves your mental health and your relationships with others--like, say, a certain set of Bats.

love me like a child, hold me in the dark: gen, 3.9k

Steph gets thrust back in time, deals with some closet monsters, and has some pretty major emotional revelations.

blood is thick, but water is forever: gen, 3.1k

Jason, Dick, and Tim learn about communication.

won't stop til i get where you are: t, 3.3k

Roy Harper decides he will not be broken up with so easily. Especially by a guy he was never technically dating. Jason Todd takes it very well.

it takes guts to be gentle and kind: g, 1.9k

Dolores Patton gets some help with her groceries.

superman:

since you looked at me different: gen, 1.7k

Jon gets engaged like this.

it’s all relative fiction anyway: gen, 7.8k

Lois thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne. Jimmy thinks Batman is a vampire. Clark thinks it would be really nice if they could go to one gala without something terrible happening. (Also, Bruce Wayne is a menace.)

if you don’t remember, i will try to remind you: gen, 1k

Clark Kent gets a goddamn break.

hr form a113: teen, 2k

Slade Wilson terrorizes the employees of Lex Corp. Lex Luthor is no help. The new head of HR is at the end of their wits.

[analoceits]

do you have any more complicated polycule headcanons for sanders sides? seeing your post filled me with a sense of This Person Is Correct and now I want to pick your brain for more

oh fuck YEAH

post asker is talking abt here

prinxiety used to have a LOT of tension between them. everyone else thought they were OBVIOUSLY crushing and eventually convinced them to date. this lasted a week and went So Horribly it is never spoken of. virgil and roman have resolved to just make out when they feel like it and that deals with the tension.

logan tried to graph out the individual relationships in the polycule exactly Once, because they wanted to explain things to remy. the project kept logan awake for three days and she had to be physically dragged to bed.

moceit are the only two in the polycule to have ever actually been married. mind you, this was all an elaborate scheme by janus to get them married bc he was SO PISSED at patton from their last argument he NEEDED to divorce him. they have tried to get remarried, but logan ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to do all that fucking paperwork again.

logince is the only relationship in the polycule to have never broken up, to everyones BAFFLEMENT bc they get into explosive arguments on the regular. turns out, when they got together, they both agreed that whoever initiates a break-up "loses the relationship" and after everyone found that out it makes Complete Sense.

logan ALSO has their own boyfriend leaderboard, BUT hers is private and she never tells anyone the rankings. they only announce if she has changed the rankings. (janus has figured out that virgil is at the top permanently bc logan NEVER announces a change in rankings after virgil has done something.)

analogical broke up exactly One time. no one remembers why BUT everyone remembers that virgil and logan were both so fully DEVASTATED that everyone worked together to get them to start dating again. janus stopped trying to break up analogical after this.

anxceit dated pre-polycule but took a While to get back together once the polycule started. everyone predicted this would happen, to virgil and janus's annoyance. whenever anxceit did start dating again they both immediately agreed they could NEVER tell anyone else bc they would NEVER hear the end of it. this lasted a week, before they threatened to break up which each other in a public argument.

loceit is not dating, despite the fact they are obviously in love with each other and actively flirting. this is because logan is waiting for janus to confess, and virgil has promised janus he will Literally Kill Him if he gets with logan BEFORE managing to stay with patton for six months straight without a break up to prove that he can be a Mildly Functional Partner. this will never happen.

every single time moceit breaks up, no matter WHAT the reason, no matter HOW AMICABLE, virgil and janus get into a physical fight. after a while everyone realized they both just like the adrenaline rush of fighting and they use the break up as an excuse, so they just leave them to it.

[artsygirl0315]

"Unexpected Visit" | Mourning AU

A package was sent by with the surnames these were intended for were Carlson and Anderson, The package was then being delivered to the Medical Unit in which Carol and Aiden resided in.

The Twins were close by, trying their best to keep themselves awake while watching their beloved still resting on the lonesome bed in which they lay on.

Patton, not too far beside them, sat by a chair next to Aiden. He held his hand, whispering pleas and murmurs yet he knew Aiden couldn't hear him.

Not like this, These two can't hear them..

When the package was taken inside the room they stayed in, An unexpected visitor comes through the door just to deliver it.

The heavy foot steps and the familar messy blue jacket that wore off it's signature tones color came insight, The three looked up at the boy with contempt and caution but.. How could he ever be a threat?..

The twins stood up to shield Carol and looked upon the boy, both a bit wary and saddened by the look on his face yet they kept quiet.

He looked so worn out, so dull, so.. tired.

Patton stood up immediately when he arrived, looking up at his fellow member of the organization he so cherished.

Patton can sense the same thing from him, the same shame and guilt plastered on his face that he's seen before.

The same tears, the bags under his eyes yet became more apparent and heavier than last time.

They made eye contact and right then and there, Patton can see the boy's lost soul in his eyes.

"You shouldn't have come, you know?.. Were you aware that they're planning on suspending your positions? Heck, They even considered decommissioning you and your sector!.. Why would you risk your job to be he-"

"Patton, You know more than anyone that I don't care for this job.."

The large boy looks down at the Arctic Base Drill Sergeant and looked him straight in the eyes, His gaze holds no hostility yet anyone could tell that his voice strained out of exhaustion.

Patton, his mouth ajar and his mind was trying to comprehend his words but he closed his jaw and tightened it as he stared back.

"That's a lie and you know it, You were so passionate about inventing things and making all these world-stopping ideas to make the KND better! Your occupation is on the line, as we speak.. Why risk it all of a sudden?.."

Jeremiah kept his eyes on Patton, not moving an inch as he just stood there out of contempt yet he found his voice when he looked down to the floor.

"Because coming to the KND wasn't my idea, This wasn't what I wanted, It wasn't my dream.. It was our dream.."

Patton kept his mouth shut by those words, he didn't know how else to react but be silent. He contemplated for a moment yet looked up again when Jeremiah spoke,

"You know what it's like, don't you?.. To almost lose a loved one from the brink of death, To breathe ever breath and hope that they'll be okay.. But the difference between us is that, You still have a chance to be with them.. I don't.."

Patton stood there shocked from Jeremiah's words, almost a bit too stunned to even speak. His eyes met glossy ones as they stared at each other and stood silent, before he mustered up a response.

"You know that's foul play, You can't just use that against me!.. I'm sorry for your loss, I truly am but don't you dare bring HIM up into this, Don't even bring them up into this!.. Your sector did this to hi-"

"I know, Patton.. I know that and I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I had the gaul to mention them in a vulnerable situation such as this.. I take full responsibility, I will do my duty as a member of the KND and accept my consequences.. I won't even ask for any of your forgiveness.."

Patton was quick to be silenced again, It seemed that he was easily to quiet down when something stuns him. Patton knows Jeremiah, he's a good kid and a kind soul. But he too knows that what's happened still hasn't been resolved and it's become damaging to many others around them. He paid attention once again when Jeremiah takes a step closer but he didn't back away, Jeremiah would never hurt him on purpose.

"I'll pay my dues, Do the time and accept the consequences of my actions as well as my sector's.. But I only ask for one favor, That I stay here and help treat the people we've hurt.. I already failed two people that are dear to me, I'm not going to allow myself to lose more.. I already had a close call once, Not again.."

Jeremiah held his head high and looked at Patton with determination, Something Patton had seen for so many years.

The Drill Sergeant pondered for a moment, the gears in his head turning and weighed down ever possibility that could happen depending on his decision. It didn't take long before he held his hand out to the larger boy, the same look of confidence in both of their tired eyes as he nodded.

"Then prove to me that the smart guy I've trusted over the years is still inside you, Don't let them down.."

"I will, Thank you, Patton.. I've already taken action on preparing Mella's medical kits and Evan's comfort toys.. I couldn't bare myself if I left Carol and Aiden astray, It's what they would've wanted anyway, rather than let their much needed help go to waste back at the treehouse.."

Patton could already tell that Jeremiah was taking his responsibilities seriously and a small yet subtle smile slowly crept up his face, He hopes somehow that the rest of Sector PHP could see the same way Jeremiah does.. He could only hope now..

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[Phew! That was a long post but luckily I'm making more progress with the AU now. Sorry for the lack of dialogue between the Interesting Twins btw, I just didn't have time to really make a script on them but still I hope this was okay! Carol and Aiden belong to my lovely mutual @kandykatz!!💙 Thanks for reading, Stay awesome everyone!]

[notcryingtoday]

okay my very serious fancast for fablehaven (would never happen because some actors should be ten years younger at least)

Emma Watson as Kendra Sorenson

Okay, I know it's hard to unsee her as Hermione but look at her. Especially with her hair like that: SHE IS KENDRA. Her dubious hair color and texture, even the clothes are like... Kendra definitely dress like that.

Walker Scobell as Seth Sorenson

Well, in my head Seth has brown hair. But Walker would have played him so well PLEASE. Plus Emma and him could pass as brother and sister. Anyway this one is mostly for vibes but I do think taking a random chaotic kid with no peculiar physical traits and dressing him in the most horrendous outfits would work just fine.

Young Colin Ford however does look like Seth too if the movie wants to go for a 2000 vibe:

Henry Collett as Gavin Rose

He looks both sweet and able to swing a sword. He already played a dragon tamer. He could be the worst man alive and no one would blame Kendra for falling for him. And TBH it's EXACTLY like that that I pictured Gavin before seeing It (2017) and starting to merge the two stuttering characters together (brain wasn't braining).

Milly Alcock as Bracken

Okay I think I need to justify myself here. But, look at her. She has a soft face, but we know she can look like a badass too. She has the pretty white hair. With a little imagination, she's totally in love with a girl trying to break her out of prison. They would be a power couple. Female Bracken would make me ship Brakendra.

Jeremys Irons as Coulter Dixon

No director instructions, just let the man plays. I just want Coulter to be the biggest hater ever and then saving Seth's life and everyone just goes Oh. Oh. (Yeah the fanfiction Oh). Like the man actually cares. I feel like Jeremy Irons would do well.

David Tennant/Pedro Pascal as Patton Burgess

Self-explanatory. Patton is a middle age man with an awesome mustache. Only those two could pull the gentleman adventurer that seduced a naiad and went on adventures around the world. I don't know which one I like more tbh!

Jared Padalecki as Warren Burgess

Then you just ask him to play like he's Dean Winchester. Because PHYSICALLY, he looks like Warren but I do believe Warren acts kinda like Dean? So yeah. But same perfect face so...

Josh Hutcherson as Dale Burgess

I swear I'll come up with something better. But like... Yeah well. I have no explanation. He could play the role just fine, especially the big brother side who's like, everyone's favorite side character. But yeah, Dale is supposed to be super tall and Josh is like... WELL not that tall. I also do remember Kendra saying Dale and Warren didn't look alike that much but had a "feeling they were from the same family" (kinda). I think that could work.

I'll do a part two when I'll find a fancast for the others lol

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Language Barriers

same anon as like 5 minutes ago, I remembered the fluffy prompt! Could you write a Sanders Sides DLAMPR fic (before they get together) where all of the Sides have different love languages? And they’re all trying to flirt in their own way, but the others keep misinterpreting it? A lot of TSS fic features the Sides having different love languages (and I’d like to think they do, in canon), but I’ve yet to see a fic that specifically focuses on that fact and describes the differences between love languages. Feel free to ignore, and remember to take care of yourself! – anon

hey I love love love love LOVE your writing! If you’re open to prompts rn, I’ve just reread your story "Idiots, Idiots, Everywhere" and it’s awesome, thanks very much, BUT. Are you willing to write a Sanders Sides fic where it focuses more specifically on all the Sides having different love languages? Bonus points if it’s DLAMPR (but platonic PR, this is an incest-free household) and all the Sides are like “…but he’s like this with everyone”. No pressure at ALL, but it’d be cool to see how you approach that. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: dlampr

Word Count: 3431

Or, five times the Sides misunderstood each other's love languages, and one time Thomas got fed up with it and decided to just...explain it to them with the efficiency they have when they're trying to explain something to him. Which is to say: it takes them a second to get it. The Imagination helps.

Physical Touch

If you were to ask anyone, they would tell you that Patton loves giving people hugs.

It’s the bane of some of their existences, they’d try to claim, and the others might just shrug and say that’s Patton for you. He knows his kiddos love it, at least a little bit. But he won’t lie, he does love a good hug. There’s just something so magical about how, out of all the shapes humans could have possibly been, they’re just perfectly designed to hold one another. Isn’t that just perfect?

Logan would probably say something about evolution and adaptation to the needs of their environment, or something, but he’s not gonna rain on Patton’s parade. Humans are hug-shaped, so they’re gonna hug. Besides, he’s not complaining when he’s working downstairs in the winter and he’s gotten too absorbed in his work and then a Patton-shaped heating pad just comes along and hugs him.

Patton loves hugging all of the Sides. Logan because he’s always so surprised by it, in a good way! He gets this soft little look that is almost on the edge of a smile, like he wasn’t expecting it but it’s the best possible outcome he never could have predicted. Or when he’s trying to comfort Patton and he hugs with undeniable certainty.

Virgil is also fun to hug, because he’s such a pouty-face about it. He snuggles up as much as any of them but he has to put on his mopey show first, just in case anyone’s watching. Virgil also gives the mopey hugs too, but then he makes himself just a bit bigger so he can wrap all the way around Patton. Which is the best.

Speaking of wrapping all the way around, Janus has six arms and he uses every single one of them. They get into competitions sometimes—not serious! It’s all for fun!—about who can surprise-hug each other the worst. Or best. Janus is currently winning from the time he managed to make himself look like the chair in the living room with a blanket over it; Patton sat down and boo!

Remus isn’t allowed to do surprise hugs, not after he accidentally tackled Patton into his Kraken’s pond and they had to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get out of the pond. But Remus’s hugs are the kind that squish his soul right back into his body and ugh, there’s nothing better than that after a long day. Besides, it’s not like expecting Remus’s hugs takes anything away, he’s still going to squeeze him so hard he might not be able to breathe for a few seconds, but that’s Remus!

And then with Roman—Roman hugs the way every single knight from a fairytale should hug. He just makes you feel safe and precious and like nothing in the world could hurt you. It’s why Patton always sits next to Roman during scary movie nights, after all, even if he gets teased about it a little. Roman doesn’t mind.

So yes, Patton does love hugging all of them. But it doesn’t have to be hugging! It can be holding hands, or just leaning against each other, just as long as he can feel them and tell himself yes, they’re okay, they’re right here, I love them.

Because he does. He loves them terribly. Even if they think he’s just a big fan of hugs.

***

2. Quality Time

Virgil has the reputation of being the cat of the Mindscape for good reason. Not because he hisses at things that don’t cooperate—the other Sides are not excluded from this—and not because he spits up hairballs—it was one time, Remus, and it was entirely your fault—but because he has a habit of just appearing in the same room and hanging out for a while.

…alright, it’s not a habit, he does it on purpose.

Companionable silence really is the best way to go about things. You’re both close enough to talk if you want to, but each of them is allowed to do their own thing and hey, there’s another person doing their own thing too. Which is why it’s his favorite way of hanging out with Logan, especially when he needs to make sure that something gets done. He’s always down to affectionately bully Logan into whatever he asks him to make sure he does.

He does that with Remus too, but it’s not exactly the same: Remus needs someone to make sure he doesn’t actually destroy anything, and he’s more than happy to oblige. Especially since he likes to get a bit of a heads-up before a rampaging beast goes barreling through the kitchen at some ungodly hour of the morning.

If he’s never beating the cat allegations, Janus sure as hell isn’t helping. There’s a big window in the Dark Sides’ half of the Mindscape that is perfect for lying in for, oh, a few hours on end. Remus has many—too many, if you ask Virgil—pictures of the two of them just basking in the sun, dozing like they haven’t got a care in the world.

Virgil’s actual favorite place to sleep is with his head in Patton’s lap. Especially after he’s just finished baking, when he’s all warm from the oven and he smells like sugar and spice…Virgil will sit on the counter or the floor and listen to Patton talk about whatever he wants and then while the oven bakes, he’ll fall asleep right in Patton’s lap. He even gets first dibs on whatever just got made.

Roman makes a game of it. He’s the Prince, every good Prince needs a rogue to work with. They trek all over the Imagination, having adventures, defeating monsters, it’s the perfect mix of Roman’s quests and Virgil’s need to be a creepy little shit in every dark corner he can find. Being with Roman even makes boring council meetings fun, because he gets to terrify the idiots that they’re just gonna fight later anyway and he gets to spend time with Roman.

He doesn’t care what he’s doing, not really, just as long as he can spend time with them. He just…wishes they would understand that sometimes.

***

3. Words of Affirmation

Logan is no stranger to impostor syndrome, but that doesn’t mean he has to allow it to plague those he cares for. Understanding something to be true on an intellectual level and feeling the validation that comes from hearing someone else voice it are two very different things. The other Sides are each remarkable in their own right. They deserve to hear it.

Patton is kind. He does not say that lightly: kind people who choose to be kind because they know how difficult it is are not individuals to be trifled with. Patton makes the conscious choice to try and be better every single day. He is earnest and sincere, sometimes painfully so, but he does not allow himself to be dissuaded by obstacles. How could Logan not want to express his admiration?

And Roman…oh, Roman is a wonder. There is so much that goes into his work that often goes unnoticed, or underappreciated, and it is a crime that Logan too often finds himself on the wrong side of that line. Roman is clever and funny and has a work ethic that, truly, rivals Logan’s own. For every slight he makes, however unintentional, he tries his best to make up for it by telling Roman in no uncertain terms how honored Logan is to be part of his creative process.

Remus is an entirely different story, no pun intended. Remus is unabashedly and unapologetically himself, and as such is a marvel to behold. He cares not for the sanitization or reduction of anything in his work, and so Logan does his best to follow suit. Remus is who he is, and it is beautiful.

He tells Janus he’s beautiful too. And not once is he lying. The first time he did it, Janus laughed in his face, at least until he realized Logan was telling the truth. He then didn’t see Janus for an entire week. It ended when a little snake plushie appeared outside of his door in the middle of the night with a tiny note that just said thank you. He tells Janus he’s beautiful every chance he gets now.

Virgil is his little alley cat. Perfectly fine to approach on his terms, but will let him know with no uncertainties when he’s getting a little too close. It doesn’t help that Virgil is quite fun to tease, even if all he’s doing is giving him compliments—true compliments, mind you—and watching in amusement as Virgil curls up into a ball with his hood pulled down over his ears as if that could hide how red they are. He’s not cruel about it, of course; he stops the moment Virgil appears genuinely uncomfortable and there are certain topics he doesn’t go near. But Virgil can’t always hide his little grin and so on it goes.

He’s quite happy to shower them with his words, he just…doesn’t know if they’d believe him if he said I love you.

***

4. Acts of Service

Words are difficult. There is so much ambiguity to be found in even the most basic of sentences, and when it comes to matters like this, Janus prefers to take as few chances as possible. Whoever coined the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words,’ Janus definitely owes a drink for how spot-on it is.

Whenever Patton needs a hand in the kitchen, he’s always the first to volunteer. He can do up to three things in the time it would take another Side to do just one, after all, and he’s had enough experience cooking for the troublemakers (Virgil and Remus) to know how to get around most of their pranks. And how to get them back.

Logan, bless him, has a tendency to overwork himself at the best of times. And in doing so, he gets these terrible knots and cramps in his neck and shoulders from hunching over his desk for hours on end. It might not be the most polite of things to practically blackmail his way into giving Logan a massage, but the poor dear always falls right to sleep so he mustn’t mind too much.

Remus and his delightful menagerie of creatures often need more than their fair share of attention. He had to pester Remus into getting him a raincoat and muck boots that could withstand the acidic slime, but weekend mornings found them strolling cheerfully through pens and cages and paddocks, tending to the bizarre flock. Anything to make the chore more of a fun activity and less of, well, a chore, when Remus really doesn’t suit stressed-out frowns as well as manic grins.

Virgil has a terrible habit of not asking for reassurance when he needs it. Janus regrets the part he played in making it that way. So, no matter how small and stupid Virgil may think it is, whenever he asks for help, Janus gives it. A tug on his cloak or a soft please will have him do anything from turn the light in the hallway on to checking the poor thing over for wounds after a brutal nightmare. It took long enough for Janus to re-earn that trust, he’s not going to lose it if he can damn well help it.

Out of everyone in the Mindscape, only Roman truly appreciates his love of theater. Sure, the others are game to help out here and there, but when it comes to the art of make-believe, Roman is the proud owner of Janus’s ‘yes-and’ partnership. The two of them make all sorts of stories together, from villains and heroes to morally grey adventurers, to simple fairytales and old plays. Roman needs someone else to help him play the roles and Janus is more than happy to play with him.

Perhaps one day, he might be able to reveal that everything he does for them, he does because it’s them, but for now, he’ll happily play the role they expect of him.

***

5. Gifts

Roman and Remus do not, in fact, fight over who gets to give the most presents to the other Sides.

Instead, they fight over whose idea they work on first.

For Logan, Remus’s self-writing pen narrowly won out over Roman’s proposal for a never-ending notebook, if only because said pen squirted ink into Roman’s mouth before he could finish his argument. They ended up giving both to Logan at the same time, but the pen was decidedly on top and did its own little celebratory wriggle when Logan used it for the first time.

Remus nearly challenged Roman to a formal duel when it came to designing a heat lamp for Janus that wouldn’t run the same risk of burning out the electricity in their section of the Mindscape. They managed to agree on everything up to the design on the lampshade. Roman said it should be a yellow snake, curled up and sleeping, and Remus wanted it to be a big leaf that Janus could lay under like he was actually outside. The compromise was eventually reached over many hours of almost bloodshed and now the sleeping snake under a leaf is a staple in the corner of Janus’s room.

Roman cleverly proposed Virgil’s weighted blanket while Remus was being crushed under said blanket, leaving not a lot of wiggle room until he had to agree. Of course, he promptly fell asleep and cuddled Roman into a pile of goo, so technically they made both the blanket and the plushie at around the same time. Virgil still brings the little skeleton to movie nights.

Patton gets their presents one after the other, because you need one to understand the other’s context. A rebreather designed to slip on over the person’s face just like any other face mask, to filter out particulates and allergens. Something that could be worn for up to two consecutive hours before it needed to be recharged.

The other present was a box full of kittens.

”Ro?”

“Yeah?”

Remus pushes his goggles to the top of his head and looks over the desk. “Do you think they’ll ever get it?”

Roman sighs, closing his notebook and leaning back to stretch. “I don’t know, Re. I love them, really, they just…”

”Don’t realize.”

“Yeah. It’s okay, though. We’ll get there eventually.”

“Of course we will. Hand me that wrench, would you?”

“The one that’s covered in guts, or the one that’s made out of foam?”

“The foam one. I need to whack this thing but I don’t wanna hit it too hard.”

“I’m not gonna ask any more questions.”

***

+1: I Love You

”Hey!” Patton rises up first, clapping his hands. “Oh. I’m the only one here.”

“Only by a moment,” Logan says as he joins him. “Is Thomas here?”

“No, I just got summoned by—well, I thought it was Thomas but he’s not here.”

“Whoa, hey!” Virgil appears on the staircase. “What’s going on? I was in the middle of watching someone.”

“Don’t you mean ‘something?’” Remus appears, covered in slime and cackling. “Ah. I see.”

“I’ve got it,” Roman says, rising up and spraying his brother with something that somehow manages to dissolve all the goo without staining or spraying anything else. “There. Now maybe you’ll think twice about surprising Uma when she’s feeding?”

“Oh, I’m gonna do this so many more times!”

”I felt the exasperation from my room,” Janus sighs, appearing, “what’s Remus done now?”

“Why did you assume it was Remus?” Janus just looks at Logan. “Fair enough.”

”Now that we’re all here, what is this about?” He looks around, frowning. “Where’s Thomas?”

“That’s weird, is he not the one who called for a meeting?”

“What’s that?” Virgil reaches out and picks up a piece of paper from the coffee table. “‘Each one of you needs a card, find the matches.’ What cards?”

“Here.” Logan picks up something that fell when Virgil picked up the paper. “There are only five of them, though, and six of us.”

“What do they say?”

“Let me see…one says ‘Physical Touch,’ one says ‘Acts of Service,’ one says…oh, I see.”

“I don’t,” Patton says, “can you share with the class?”

“Wait, wait, I think I know what this is, is one of them ‘Quality Company’ or something?”

“‘Quality Time,’ yes.”

Roman nods. “It’s the Five Love Languages.”

“Thomas doesn’t even speak Spanish!”

“No, no, Padre, not literal languages, it’s…it’s the ways you express your affection for someone. How you tell them you love them. There’s five: physical touch, acts of service, quality time…”

“‘Words of Affirmation,’” Logan continues, reading off the other cards, “and ‘Gifts.’”

Virgil hunches his shoulders. “So what, are we supposed to pick one?”

“I believe the intention of the exercise is to…select which one is our love language.”

Janus huffs. “Why? What does Thomas have to gain from doing something like this? And where is he?”

“Maybe he’s not the one who summoned us.”

“Well then who did?”

“Maybe if we do the thing we can find out.”

Janus sighs, peering over Logan’s shoulder and squinting. “I guess this one’s mine, then.”

“‘Acts of Service?’ Very well. I suppose I’ll take ‘Words of Affirmation.’”

“Can I have the touch one?”

“Certainly.”

“Twins get ‘Gifts,’ obviously,” Virgil mutters, “which means I get the…time one, or whatever.”

Logan hands out the last two cards and they stand there for a moment, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing does.

Patton looks back down at his card. “Wait, did you say these are how we tell people we love them?”

“That is a simple definition of this, why?”

“Because you guys do these with everyone!”

There’s a pause. Logan adjusts his glasses. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but…yes, I do indeed give you all words of affirmation, because, well…”

“Aww,” Virgil says, “do you love us, Logan?”

Logan coughs, blushes, and adjusts his tie. “I believe that is a logical conclusion, yes.”

“Aww!” Patton squeals. “I love you guys too!”

”So whoever set this up knew that we were all trying to tell each other that—“ Roman starts.

“—and needed to hammer it into our heads what was happening,” Remus finishes.

“Well,” Janus sniffs, even as a smile threatens the corners of his mouth, “how dramatic.”

Virgil tugs on the strings of his hoodie. “Yeah. How dramatic.”

There’s another pause.

Roman coughs. “Uh, this seems like a good a time as any, um…Remus and I put together a festival thing in the Imagination for everyone, if you want to…if you want to come and see it.”

“It has everyone’s favorite state fair stuff,” Remus sands, “and there’s supposed to be a northern-lights kind of thing after it gets dark.”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Of course.”

“Will there be food?”

“Your favorite, shadow-ling.”

“You two are so thoughtful,” Logan says softly, “I would love to come.”

“I can get the good blankets from the closet,” Janus offers, and everyone grins, “should we meet there in ten?”

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!”

The Imagination is just happy they finally sorted it out. Now, to give the six of them a group date they’ll never forget…

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