#but i like it :] just a silly little thing for myself and my friend to show off our little toys
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the-chaos137 Ā· 4 hours ago
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Please Stop TSBS hate.
With recent developments of Kat quitting writing for TLAES because of the amount of hate sheā€™s been getting I feel like I should say something.
Hating on something is a waste of your time and energy.
If you donā€™t like how something was done. Or felt that something couldā€™ve been done better. Donā€™t go about saying how bad this piece of media is. Donā€™t hate on the person who made it. This doesnā€™t just apply to TSBS this applies to all fandoms.
This fandom is so insanely toxic to the point I had to completely block myself off from that side of every social media platform. I have been in my safe little bubble of friends for so long I sometimes forget how BAD this fandom is. Itā€™s so negative for a silly little YouTube channel. These channels are the reasons I get through a day. Theyā€™re how me, and a lot of other people, unwind.
Please stop and think about what youā€™re about to say. You can hate a character, but that doesnā€™t mean they were written bad or the author or creator is shit at their job.
Sometimes I feel like you all are coming up with reasons to hate in things.
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thunder-wolf64 Ā· 3 days ago
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Ugh okay I'm about to get very not silly.
Content warning for: Sexual Assult, Body image issues, self harm, probably some depression.
Hmm. I want to talk about this incase I can give strength to anyone else. I know my problems are not as bad as others, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it's not valid.
Ive mentioned my fear of small children, I've mentioned really not liking a family friend (to a point that being forced to stay in a cabin with them made me feel so bad I dug my nails into my skin and scarred my arm and hand)
This all partly relates to one incident many years ago. I dont remember how old I was? Must have been earlier middle school?
The family friends I'm referring to have a son. He's a lot younger than me. He's neurodivergent in some way, he doesn't have the best idea of social anything.
I was staying at the family friends' cabin, my family and theirs. There was a guest cabin. I had just taken a shower to clean off the lake water. I was standing in the guest cabin looking at myself in the mirror by the beds, brushing my hair. I had major body image issues with good ol' puberty. I hated how I looked and i felt shameful when my shirt clung to my chest extra tight. I knew I would dry off more, and it would be less form fitting. I thought i could just stay in the guest cabin until then.
Then all the little kids, the boy and my two sisters, burst in, chasing each other around as kids do. I was still brushing my hair.
Something immature boys find funny is the word "boobs" he laughed at me and kept repeating the word. I adjusted my shirt as best I could I wanted to tell him off, but I was scared I would get in trouble if I made him upset.
I went back to looking in the mirror and brushing my hair. He ran past, giving my boob a poke as he sprinted out the door, my sisters in tow. That was it. That is what the warning was for. A touch. Over in a second.
I was panicked, I didn't know what to do. I sat on the bed for awhile, crying and thinking of what to do. It felt like forever. And as embarrassing as it is to say... at that time in my mind I felt as if it was my fault, as if I had a sign pointing to me saying "touch me". And with that in mind, I calmed myself down, told myself i wouldn't say anything, and walked back to the main cabin.
And when I walked in, it was tense. The boy was getting a talking to from his mother, and mine walked over to me.
She asked me if i was okay.
I said I was fine, confused. Thinking its not like he shoved me, punched me, hurt my physically. My mind did not corelate the emotional anguish rushing though my head as I felt even more shame that people knew. that they had told on themselves somehow.
I was not okay, i am still not okay. And it really sucks. I can't blame everything on one incident. But oh man can I corelate a lot of my problems with that incident.
Tight clothes made me feel like scum. Ive only ever worn sports bras that leave me with terrible chest pain. I still cant stand a tight fitting shirt, a v-neck. I can't stand my feminine traits. Because that's what got me into the mess in the first place.
Something so small can mess you up so much. And I'm sick of not acknowledging it. Everyone has forgotten or said nothing. And I feel like I'm going crazy.
So if you made it this far, your struggles are valid. Your feelings are valid. No matter what happend, everyone takes things differently.
And i don't know if I'll can call this sexual assault, but it feels like it was, and that's what should matter.
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Everyone stay safe
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butchfalin Ā· 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘ŒšŸ¼ā“" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) ā€œwhy didn't he use šŸ«µšŸ¼?ā€ didn't exist yet. ā€œwhy didn't he use šŸ†—?ā€ dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. šŸ‘ŒšŸ¼ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘ŒšŸ¼ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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elusiiev Ā· 1 month ago
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OMORITOBER DAY 14: LIBRARY
i like to imagine spirit mari tossing down her favorite memories for omori to read while peeking around to see omori's reaction :3
i was thinkin of drawing her too, but honestly i wasnt very sure what pose to do and i was a bit tired !!
thanks to @/ntrogensolar for the omoritober prompt list!
extra rant in the tags ab why this isnt a full piece!
#artists on tumblr#omori#omori fanart#omoritober#inktober#ez_draws#ez_rants#so heres the deal#i get very tired easily with the whole onyl certain amount of 'spoons' per day thing#i spend most of my time doing my homework#and after that i feel like ive gotta finish the drawing for the day#this means i subconsiously sacrifice time doing things that i truly wanna do including spending time with my friends and doing other things#if i prioritize doing the things that i want to do a little more than this challenge#it ends with me kiiinnddaaa staying up pretty late trying to finish the art#and also lower quality art in general!#however i dont wanna quit the challenge just yet; we'll see how things go but for now i was thinking just doing a sketch! it allows me to-#still do a daily drawing which is great for someone who sometimes goes months without drawing and still not burning myself out on the dail#for example - this drawing took about an hour even though i took my time! and i was also able to spend time with friends and family and-#still be productive! i know i dont have to explain myself; its my art after all but yk i like to explain stuff especially when in relation#to my art! i wanna make sure the art i make is something i truly enjoy and not a plaguing responsibility- so i'll be adapting this-#challenge to my own needs! anyway thats all- sorry for the long rant! and congrats to the people who have enough time and motivation to do#the full challenge!!!#ok byebyeee! and i might be posting more silly sketches in my free time!#rant over <3
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zebratimw Ā· 1 year ago
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a āœØļøbreak down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake šŸ’€#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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skeletood Ā· 1 year ago
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I absolutely adore the paramount advertisements of all the different boys on the super long couch. So I did the same with some of mine and @deathrock-and-skullā€‹Ā ā€˜s AU designs
Full list of AUā€™s:
From left to right: Gamer Boys, Vaperwave Boys, Lollipop Beavis,Ā Older Girls, Fake-Head, Troll Boys, Zombie Boys, Emo Girls, Demon Boys
And also a transparent version :]
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Happy pride!
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outlying-hyppocrate Ā· 1 month ago
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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kizzington Ā· 1 month ago
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Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but Iā€™m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want Iā€™m just gonna vent a minute#itā€™s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestlyā€¦ Iā€™m not#Iā€™m fucking struggling#itā€™s just so complex n confusing & Iā€™m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably donā€™t think itā€™s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know itā€™s probably not easy to tell Iā€™m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly itā€™s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just donā€™t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ā€˜hope youā€™re okayā€™ or ā€˜thinking of youā€™ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isnā€™t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc itā€™s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope youā€™re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
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bunnyboy-juice Ā· 1 month ago
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my best friend just told me she's gonna show me her regular ass grocery order when she gets home and i seriously cheered as if she said she was coming over Right Now
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questionably-audhd-oracle Ā· 2 months ago
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My situation is so funny cause like, I was so scared that me being more masculine in certain ways would scare men off, but in the case of my current relationship, NOTHING would get done if I didnā€™t do it first. He is simply too afraid of upsetting me, so he does not do ANYTHING unless I have done it first. Which is sweet. But itā€™s also like,, wait you LIKE that about me? You like that I take charge and stuff? (And to be fair things are pretty evenly split between us now, Iā€™ve just initiated pretty much all the ā€œfirstsā€)
Like dude, I am convinced we never wouldā€™ve kissed each other if Iā€™d waited for him to do it
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0x4468c7a6a728 Ā· 3 months ago
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i've gotta program something soon...
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red-eft Ā· 9 months ago
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i think love is like catching fireflies. you have to get out there and wander in the dark until find what you were looking for. you have to be gentle with it. if you try to keep it bottled up or force it to stay in your hands, it dies or flees in fear. but you can guide it and hold it close without hurting it. it might not always be there but it does always come back. and it glows
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herbofgraceandpeace Ā· 14 days ago
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šŸ˜…
#Feeling down for no real reason#So this is me reminding myself that God had given me a day!#He answered my prayers that some stuff would go well#And I got to hang out with people which was fun#And I have lots of energy unexpectedly so Iā€™m going to go to my brotherā€™s sports game#I asked for prayer about that earlier today actually#Cause itā€™s rough choosing whether or not to go when I really need to be working on grad school things#But hey God is good and I can both go and work a little today!#anyway the sad thing is probably mainly my hormones#But also one of my new friends asked for prayer about being really sad but she wasnā€™t able or willing to talk more about it?#So Iā€™m sad for her but also worried#And obviously the solution is just to pray for her so Iā€™m gonna do that and trust it to God#And the other thing (which feels too silly to share) is that lowkey one of my other new friends hinted that my crush might like someone?#She wasnā€™t hinting to me but to someone else while I was also in the room but only sort of part of the conversation#Plus she doesnā€™t know I like him#And like I donā€™t t have a serious crush on him or know him super well even#But still :(#Itā€™s sad girl hours#Cause I do kinda like him and I have been interested for a while#How do I feel peaceful about being single?#And other questions Iā€™m waiting for God to answer for me lol#Anyway!!!#Iā€™m going to read a little of my book on the trinity and relax now that my real job is done#And then Iā€™m going to do grad school stuff#And then Iā€™m gonna go to my brotherā€™s game#And then Iā€™m going to go home
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byrdstrolls Ā· 2 months ago
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Bulk anon wannabe
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I have unsurprising news
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elizabethrobertajones Ā· 1 year ago
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I'm actually kind of mad after wearing a knee brace (with patella support!) for 2 days because I just went down for breakfast not wearing it and my kneecap was wobbling loosely in its socket like it's done for years and I could FEEL how wrong it was and just had the biggest "you LIVE like this??!" moment and now i GUESS I am wearing a knee brace every time I go near stairs forever because it turns out it's not ideal if parts of your body have their own plans for every joint movement.
Mobility aids <3
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moe-broey Ā· 10 months ago
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I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)
But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.
#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that.#but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like#i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun#but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules.#my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like#damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag#BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest#while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh#i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself#IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die.#which like. kind of limits my prospects.#i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind.#i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options#plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery)#SAD. well there are other people in yhe world#but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me.#there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect.#and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me#i am very thankful for that.#it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.
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