#but i know this can become discourse so

[weird-and-unwell]

Boy do I have opinions here.

So some of this is cultural. Where I live the accessible stall is a separate room. It's not always perfect, obviously. My one at work has no soap or way to dry your hands, and always 4-6 bins and at least one is in the way so I have to navigate both my wheelchair and whichever giant ass bin they've stuck in my way.

But typically, this room has: a larger space, enough so that I remember my grandfather (had a power chair) and his carer would usually be able to get in (again, sometimes not big enough, but in my personal experience usually is, if a bit tight at times); an emergency cord in case you fall, which has to reach the floor at all times; at least one handrail, although the better ones have at least one on each side (I prefer to transfer from the left so I can use my better leg to help push me over, so both sides is always a relief); a sink next to the toilet, alongside suitable drying stuff (unless you're my workplace ig); bins suitable for sharps and medical waste; and usually, but again, not always, different door handles (sometimes opens electronically), a lighter door in general, easier-to-use sink handles etc...

The point is, this is something my country usually does eh fairly well. Currently we're trying (have been for a while) to get more to have adult changing tables. Some places do, but most don't. And there's only ever one, which...is often a pain. So I'm not gonna say it's perfect or amazing, because it sure isn't if you need an adult changing table.

Now, some of these, courtesy of issues with abled people being unable to be normal about disabled people (including abled people freaking out over invisible disabilities), are locked. I have a special key that lets me access them, and if I forget it, I have to go find someone to open it. I have had times when I've been unable to, and hence unable to use the toilet.

I think it's seen differently elsewhere, but generally, due to it being seperate, it's typically understood that you don't use it unless you need it. Whilst yeah we sometimes need the keys because abled people are ableist, usually it's considered rude if you go "eh there's a queue I'd rather skip" or "eh but it's free so why not".

But frankly even in stalls, what I'd love people to understand is that I don't care! Nope, even if there's a queue and it's the only one available! I've seen "oh but disabled people can wait like everyone else" and oh boy...

First of all, for all you know, by the time they get there, there could be multiple stalls free but they have to wait and wait, possibly repeatedly having to explain to people "no, I need this stall" (something I had to do myself once, back when I needed the one stall with a handrail but wasn't yet visibly disabled), possibly having accidents etc, all because some abled person decided they didn't want to wait an extra minute or two.

But secondly...a lot of us can't wait. For me personally, my autism means I can't tell when I need to pee. So either I go frequently at set times, or (more commonly) I forget to do it, and have a sudden realisation that I'm about 2 minutes max away from wetting myself. One of my medications has a side effect of bowel incontinence. Ever had to sit in your own waste waiting for a bathroom to be available, abled people? And there's so many more people out there whose disabilities result in similar issues of "need the toilet asap, cannot afford to wait for an abled person who decided it was chill to use this one stall anyways".

Maybe I'm more pressed about this issue because I can't wait. But frankly if I had to sit there in my own waste, hoping nothing has leaked onto my wheelchair, and that nobody else can smell it, then I think I'm allowed to get pissed off that someone who doesn't need the stall decided to use it anyways.

(Also an important side note: it's abled people doing this that contributes to the invisibly disabled being judged for using them. Visibly disabled people start to get on edge because maybe this person is just not visibly disabled, but maybe they're another abled person who thinks it's no biggie. And ableds think you're like them. I will always, always, assume someone using the disabled toilet is disabled, but abled people going "yeah no I'd use it happily" is a big part of why that suspicion exists.)

Anyways yeah, some of us need that toilet, you can't always tell who it is that needs it, so if you don't need it, leave it be.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[butterflyslinky]

I keep seeing anti-Tommy people saying that his past as a bad person from the Begins episodes will be the hurdle he and Buck will face. That Buck will find out about what Tommy was like and be offended by it.

Except…Buck already knows about it? Tommy's pretty openly talked about not being a good person in the Gerrard era. Maybe he didn't tell Buck exactly what he said, but he probably doesn't remember because in-universe, that was fifteen to twenty years ago. He said the 118 was regressive, and that being under Gerrard did not make him a better person.

Hen and Chimney have also been pretty open about how shitty things were back then. Maybe they didn't name Tommy specifically, but Buck can make inferences based on them talking about how everyone was shitty and Tommy was part of everyone. This isn't some Deep Dark Secret Buck would be shocked by, it's information he had before meeting Tommy.

But okay, let's say somehow Buck had all three of the people who were there telling him Tommy was not a good person back then and somehow didn't realize what that meant. That doesn't change the fact that Tommy is clearly not that person anymore and that everyone's moved on from it. Chimney and Tommy are friends, and have been for close to two decades. Hen and Tommy don't seem to be super close, but they clearly have a level of professional respect for each other and she doesn't object to him hanging out with the group (Bobby Begins Again, the bachelor party.)

Like, if this is the big problem they face, what's supposed to happen? The story grinds to a halt while Tommy details every bad thing he's ever done and Buck processes it? Does Buck need to go see Hen and Chimney to get their blessing to date a guy they're both cool with and have been for years? Does Tommy need to do an apology tour to rehash everything and reopen all the old wounds for the benefit of the guy who wasn't involved in anything that happened back then? What purpose would that serve, either in the story or for the viewers? Honestly, if Buck made Tommy do that as a condition of continuing the relationship, I would not be rooting for Buck.

No, we didn't see Tommy give apologies in perfect therapy-speak or see the work he did on himself in the years between Begins episodes and the rest of the show. He's a minor supporting character who existed in Begins to show the growth and change of the LAFD as a whole, and who was bumped up to recurring minor character to be Buck's love interest. We're not going to spend entire episodes sitting in therapy with him, we're supposed to draw conclusions from the information given so the story can keep moving.

[ingravinoveritas]

Just wanted to make a separate post about this because I think I somehow hadn't seen this clip before now, and I'm not over this particular moment. The soft, adoring look that Michael gives David here is everything. It's not even that it's a particularly long look, but it's the way it lingers, and the way Michael waits to look away until he knows David has seen him looking. And then David, who'd had his arms hanging at his sides, unconsciously mirrors Michael and clasps his hands in front of him as soon as he looks back. Everything about this is magic, and I love that Michael and David were so in sync with each other five years ago and are even more so now...

[the-mislead]

Something I've noticed when I've seen transandrophobic trans women (this is a common trend for transandrophobic transfems, but let this be your reminder that trans women ≠ transadrophobia, don't fall down that hole) is that they hate the phrase "we're all faggots in the eyes of the state" (and those similar).

And like, I do understand it. It can feel somewhat dismissing to hear "we all experience this" when venting/discussing issues you face. But I feel there is a kind of disconnect between the one who said it versus the one who read it.

It seems as though they often read the phrase as:

"I don't care if you struggle, because we all struggle, in fact I struggle more than you, so stfu and let us talk instead of you,"

instead of (what I assume to be) the original intention of it:

"What you are saying is leaning on discourse that our struggling community does not need. Perpetuating this will not help us, stand by each other and do not spread hate to your siblings, for we will all be killed by the few Rich Cishet White Perisex Able-bodied Men in control. They do not care if you believe this discourse, to them you are the discourse."

Speaking about issues trans women face should not warrant this phrase, perpetuating transandrophobia? That does.

[amalgamatey]

My friends are doing a PowerPoint Pizza Party on Saturday, we can give up to 15min presentation on anything we want. Originally, I was gonna talk about birds, but then I was ranting about the OFMD fandom and the unexpected hatred of one of my fav characters. Now I’m gonna do a rug pull and pretend my presentation is about birds, but slam real hard into Gay Pirates and how People Take It Too Seriously (including me apparently)

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

"Is Amphibia gay like The Owl House?" It is gay, but certainly not like The Owl House.

[the-deca]

in light of recent discourse

[dumping-ideas]

I decided to go on a Hiatus because I want to step back from prsk fandom buat I need to say something about this take (warning for Ensekai leaks)

Translation is fucking hard

What's impressive about this scene is Tsukasa specifically use BOKU (僕) and not his preferred pronoun ORE (オレ) to call himself

The emphasis is there so the JP readers could understand how impactful the fact that Tsukasa is not even using his preferred first pronoun because he's actually not being himself but being RIO EVEN IN HIS OWN HEAD

Tsukasa isn't being himself. On the contrary, he's completely, 100% become Rio at that moment

While English has a lot of third person pronouns, Japan has a lot of first person pronouns (compared to English measly "I"). Just like Western has their preferred pronouns, so does Japanese (of course their 1st person pronoun is interchangeable in the context of social interactions). Too bad that this nuance for Tsukasa's dialogue can't be replicated in English. I argue that putting emphasis on the "I" actually do Jack Shit because the emphasis is on the DIFFERENT PRONOUN IN JP. It's like when you hear someone calls a person as a "he" for a long time but then one person suddenly calls that person as "she" (I think, I know western are kinda sensitive on their pronouns but I can't really relate). Anyway it's THAT jarring

The second line is where the tl team kinda needs to wrack their brain, 届かない. No subject, no object. The scene before the sentence flashed back to Tsukasa crying after remembering how he felt how unreachable his own Phoenix is, and it's how he understands Rio's helplessness right at that moment. Using "it" actually makes the sentence sounds pretty vague. What does "it" refer to? "The level that he wants to reach?" It only applied to Tsukasa and not Rio. "The phoenix"? Kinda rude to call the phoenix as "it" though. Besides, using EN pronouns, Tsukasa's phoenix is a "he" while Rio's phoenix is a "she". That's why JP can have that sweet ambiguity while the EN translators need to think super hard about the implied object here.

There's two nuances happening here, and the Ensekai tl team decided to translate it by context of Tsukasa AS Rio: "I can't reach her". I'm guessing that they agreed that the flashback to that scene in chapter 7 means that Tsukasa at that moment completely understands Rio, HE'S RIO BECAUSE HE USES 僕, so they decided that it's Rio's thought and not Tsukasa even though the text box says Tsukasa and the JP implied that Rio and Tsukasa become one. I think the the EN line is okay, kinda missing some deep nuances but that's what translation is. You can't expect to be able to translate all those cultural nuances.

Maybe the alternatives might be "I can't reach my/the phoenix?" More straightforward but we can have a nice title drop lol

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

i will say is seeing people unironically go 'gale's arc is about how bad he is at communicating' is just the funniest fucking thing i have read in my entire life and i haven't laughed that much at something since the early access conspiracy theories

[lizzyflowers]

I don't know anymore. I just don't.

I know that you should block those you know you just won't get along with, or have very conflicting views that just won't work well if you interacted with them.

I mean sure, they might be like that now but what if they changed? What if i blocked them now because they thought that people like me deserve the worst even when my views are as complicated at theirs?

Don't they have real problems to deal with that fight people on the internet? Why criticise when we can just tolerate?

Don't you have like, i don't know, rent, jobs, and other real world problems that matter more than this? Why do you care more for these fictional characters that you are so willing to hurt real people for?

But what if they changed? What if they've matured and grown enough that they no longer hold those views? Would we get along then? But i blocked them.

I wouldn't know, and i'm certainly glad they won't be able to interact with me now while they hold the views that will certainly hurt me. But maybe we could've been friends.

Maybe if i had a bit of hope for them that they'd change and just didn't press that block button we would talk and sympathise and try to understand each other.

Just maybe.

[ingravinoveritas]

This weekend, I went to a pop culture/comic convention in my area to see a few friends, and had an interesting experience. When I was first walking from the parking lot to the convention hotel, a man I'd never met or spoken to before came up to me just before I got to the doors. I was initially wary, as I've encountered more than a few creepy/pervy men at this convention in the past. But what he said to me, very politely, was: "Excuse me. Are you one of the movie stars?"

I can't emphasize enough how much this came out of nowhere. I also don't know what gave him the idea that I was a movie star, maybe other than what I was wearing (a purple sequined dress, a silver cross necklace, and blue/white/red slingback peep toe heels). But the question pleasantly took me aback, and after I said that I wasn't one, he added, "You're dressed so nice. You look beautiful." Which also was unexpected, and after I thanked him for his very kind words, he wished me a good night as I continued on in to the hotel.

My point in mentioning this is that there tends to be a very specific idea of what/who a "movie star" is or looks like, and not in a thousand years would I categorize myself in that way. But I think maybe looks/external beauty are only one part of it, and the rest is confidence--surety of self, and how you move through the world. I have more confidence now than I have had any previous point in my life. I know who I am, and I think I'm finally understanding how that affects people's perception of me.

So yes, that was just an interesting little moment and probably one of the highlights of the weekend. (The other was running into a David cosplayer who had on David's purple-green fuzzy sweater and purple Doc Martens (see below), a kilt for a character in Sandman, and a face tattoo and snakey eyes for Crowley--three cosplays in one!) Good Omens really is everywhere...

[ladymonstrous]

yall need to stop talking about book characters like they are real people

[and-you-found-me]

When you ship both ichiruki and ichihime but both the fandoms despise each other... lol life as a multishipper is tough

[bitchfitch]

I may have just convinced my shrink to start using Tumblr.

[smellslikeonedirection]

.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

to be honest? I've never even understood the rationale for fake-claiming in any context. There are millions of people, more dying and being born every day, and you really think we can invent enough genders, identities, disorders, words and categories to cover every possible type of human that's ever been born or will be born in the future???!! of course not, there's gonna be people who fall outside of the boxes we have because there can never be enough boxes. like there physically cannot be enough boxes.

"but they're weird and cringe that's how i know." buddy. buddy come here lean in close i have a secret for you, crazy girlie.

*whispers* everyone who isn't neurotypical, ablebodied, cishet, and fitting the beauty and societal standards for their culture, is considered weird by default. and EVEN people who ARE fitting of those standards can ALSO be weird in other ways. you can't tell me someone isn't lgbt or isn't plural or isn't autistic because they're "weird" when everyone is constantly being called weird anyway. being plural is weird to people. having NPD is weird to people. having skitzohphrenia is weird to people. Being a boy who likes girly stuff is weird to people. being a lesbian is weird to people. having no legs is weird, being fat is weird, there are always going to be people calling other people weird and cringe. you simply CANNOT use "weird" or "cringe" as a basis to judge validity. you just can't???

I literally do not get it like how does that work how do you like...think that you can tell if someone's faking something. what do we have left here, like, tone of voice and body language? autism is a thing and anxiety disorders are a thing so we already know that can vary and be untrustworthy. you literally can never tell as an outsider looking in??!