#but i know this can become discourse so

[weird-and-unwell]

Boy do I have opinions here.

So some of this is cultural. Where I live the accessible stall is a separate room. It's not always perfect, obviously. My one at work has no soap or way to dry your hands, and always 4-6 bins and at least one is in the way so I have to navigate both my wheelchair and whichever giant ass bin they've stuck in my way.

But typically, this room has: a larger space, enough so that I remember my grandfather (had a power chair) and his carer would usually be able to get in (again, sometimes not big enough, but in my personal experience usually is, if a bit tight at times); an emergency cord in case you fall, which has to reach the floor at all times; at least one handrail, although the better ones have at least one on each side (I prefer to transfer from the left so I can use my better leg to help push me over, so both sides is always a relief); a sink next to the toilet, alongside suitable drying stuff (unless you're my workplace ig); bins suitable for sharps and medical waste; and usually, but again, not always, different door handles (sometimes opens electronically), a lighter door in general, easier-to-use sink handles etc...

The point is, this is something my country usually does eh fairly well. Currently we're trying (have been for a while) to get more to have adult changing tables. Some places do, but most don't. And there's only ever one, which...is often a pain. So I'm not gonna say it's perfect or amazing, because it sure isn't if you need an adult changing table.

Now, some of these, courtesy of issues with abled people being unable to be normal about disabled people (including abled people freaking out over invisible disabilities), are locked. I have a special key that lets me access them, and if I forget it, I have to go find someone to open it. I have had times when I've been unable to, and hence unable to use the toilet.

I think it's seen differently elsewhere, but generally, due to it being seperate, it's typically understood that you don't use it unless you need it. Whilst yeah we sometimes need the keys because abled people are ableist, usually it's considered rude if you go "eh there's a queue I'd rather skip" or "eh but it's free so why not".

But frankly even in stalls, what I'd love people to understand is that I don't care! Nope, even if there's a queue and it's the only one available! I've seen "oh but disabled people can wait like everyone else" and oh boy...

First of all, for all you know, by the time they get there, there could be multiple stalls free but they have to wait and wait, possibly repeatedly having to explain to people "no, I need this stall" (something I had to do myself once, back when I needed the one stall with a handrail but wasn't yet visibly disabled), possibly having accidents etc, all because some abled person decided they didn't want to wait an extra minute or two.

But secondly...a lot of us can't wait. For me personally, my autism means I can't tell when I need to pee. So either I go frequently at set times, or (more commonly) I forget to do it, and have a sudden realisation that I'm about 2 minutes max away from wetting myself. One of my medications has a side effect of bowel incontinence. Ever had to sit in your own waste waiting for a bathroom to be available, abled people? And there's so many more people out there whose disabilities result in similar issues of "need the toilet asap, cannot afford to wait for an abled person who decided it was chill to use this one stall anyways".

Maybe I'm more pressed about this issue because I can't wait. But frankly if I had to sit there in my own waste, hoping nothing has leaked onto my wheelchair, and that nobody else can smell it, then I think I'm allowed to get pissed off that someone who doesn't need the stall decided to use it anyways.

(Also an important side note: it's abled people doing this that contributes to the invisibly disabled being judged for using them. Visibly disabled people start to get on edge because maybe this person is just not visibly disabled, but maybe they're another abled person who thinks it's no biggie. And ableds think you're like them. I will always, always, assume someone using the disabled toilet is disabled, but abled people going "yeah no I'd use it happily" is a big part of why that suspicion exists.)

Anyways yeah, some of us need that toilet, you can't always tell who it is that needs it, so if you don't need it, leave it be.

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[butterflyslinky]

I keep seeing anti-Tommy people saying that his past as a bad person from the Begins episodes will be the hurdle he and Buck will face. That Buck will find out about what Tommy was like and be offended by it.

Except…Buck already knows about it? Tommy's pretty openly talked about not being a good person in the Gerrard era. Maybe he didn't tell Buck exactly what he said, but he probably doesn't remember because in-universe, that was fifteen to twenty years ago. He said the 118 was regressive, and that being under Gerrard did not make him a better person.

Hen and Chimney have also been pretty open about how shitty things were back then. Maybe they didn't name Tommy specifically, but Buck can make inferences based on them talking about how everyone was shitty and Tommy was part of everyone. This isn't some Deep Dark Secret Buck would be shocked by, it's information he had before meeting Tommy.

But okay, let's say somehow Buck had all three of the people who were there telling him Tommy was not a good person back then and somehow didn't realize what that meant. That doesn't change the fact that Tommy is clearly not that person anymore and that everyone's moved on from it. Chimney and Tommy are friends, and have been for close to two decades. Hen and Tommy don't seem to be super close, but they clearly have a level of professional respect for each other and she doesn't object to him hanging out with the group (Bobby Begins Again, the bachelor party.)

Like, if this is the big problem they face, what's supposed to happen? The story grinds to a halt while Tommy details every bad thing he's ever done and Buck processes it? Does Buck need to go see Hen and Chimney to get their blessing to date a guy they're both cool with and have been for years? Does Tommy need to do an apology tour to rehash everything and reopen all the old wounds for the benefit of the guy who wasn't involved in anything that happened back then? What purpose would that serve, either in the story or for the viewers? Honestly, if Buck made Tommy do that as a condition of continuing the relationship, I would not be rooting for Buck.

No, we didn't see Tommy give apologies in perfect therapy-speak or see the work he did on himself in the years between Begins episodes and the rest of the show. He's a minor supporting character who existed in Begins to show the growth and change of the LAFD as a whole, and who was bumped up to recurring minor character to be Buck's love interest. We're not going to spend entire episodes sitting in therapy with him, we're supposed to draw conclusions from the information given so the story can keep moving.

[ingravinoveritas]

Just wanted to make a separate post about this because I think I somehow hadn't seen this clip before now, and I'm not over this particular moment. The soft, adoring look that Michael gives David here is everything. It's not even that it's a particularly long look, but it's the way it lingers, and the way Michael waits to look away until he knows David has seen him looking. And then David, who'd had his arms hanging at his sides, unconsciously mirrors Michael and clasps his hands in front of him as soon as he looks back. Everything about this is magic, and I love that Michael and David were so in sync with each other five years ago and are even more so now...

[fallloverfic]

I've seen some very odd takes about certain language used in the scene where Mizrak rebukes Olrox at the end of Castlevania: Nocturne, which I think might be due to lack of knowledge about the historical context of certain things.

CW: historical racism against First Nation groups

I know reading academic articles isn't for everyone, but I have to wonder if a lot of people in the Castlevania: Nocturne fandom have not watched things like, say, Disney's 1995 animated Pocahontas, which, for all its many, many flaws, features the song, Savages. I'm not going to quote it in full here, you can find the song lyrics elsewhere (though the European colonizers do use the lines "vermin" and "barely even human", among other epithets). It's not a great song for a lot of reasons (among them being it tries to "both sides" things). But to look at the scene in CN where Mizrak, a Christian working in a European Christian church with at least some Europeans, calls Olrox, a First Nation man, an animal without the understanding of how Christian European colonizers (typically as part of or at least backed by some Christian churches) have viewed First Nation peoples and treated them, and certain epithets used for them, and how European Christian dehumanization of "new world" groups and non-Christians generally worked/works?

Well.

[zazikels]

i will say is seeing people unironically go 'gale's arc is about how bad he is at communicating' is just the funniest fucking thing i have read in my entire life and i haven't laughed that much at something since the early access conspiracy theories

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[whoblewboobear]

Still thinking about this bc being a shitty teacher isn't the same as being evil and yet- *gets shot*

[and-you-found-me]

When you ship both ichiruki and ichihime but both the fandoms despise each other... lol life as a multishipper is tough

[bitchfitch]

I may have just convinced my shrink to start using Tumblr.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

to be honest? I've never even understood the rationale for fake-claiming in any context. There are millions of people, more dying and being born every day, and you really think we can invent enough genders, identities, disorders, words and categories to cover every possible type of human that's ever been born or will be born in the future???!! of course not, there's gonna be people who fall outside of the boxes we have because there can never be enough boxes. like there physically cannot be enough boxes.

"but they're weird and cringe that's how i know." buddy. buddy come here lean in close i have a secret for you, crazy girlie.

*whispers* everyone who isn't neurotypical, ablebodied, cishet, and fitting the beauty and societal standards for their culture, is considered weird by default. and EVEN people who ARE fitting of those standards can ALSO be weird in other ways. you can't tell me someone isn't lgbt or isn't plural or isn't autistic because they're "weird" when everyone is constantly being called weird anyway. being plural is weird to people. having NPD is weird to people. having skitzohphrenia is weird to people. Being a boy who likes girly stuff is weird to people. being a lesbian is weird to people. having no legs is weird, being fat is weird, there are always going to be people calling other people weird and cringe. you simply CANNOT use "weird" or "cringe" as a basis to judge validity. you just can't???

I literally do not get it like how does that work how do you like...think that you can tell if someone's faking something. what do we have left here, like, tone of voice and body language? autism is a thing and anxiety disorders are a thing so we already know that can vary and be untrustworthy. you literally can never tell as an outsider looking in??!

[mercurymacaroons]

woagh 2 posts in one day

[kyouka-supremacy]

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[ingravinoveritas]

This weekend, I went to a pop culture/comic convention in my area to see a few friends, and had an interesting experience. When I was first walking from the parking lot to the convention hotel, a man I'd never met or spoken to before came up to me just before I got to the doors. I was initially wary, as I've encountered more than a few creepy/pervy men at this convention in the past. But what he said to me, very politely, was: "Excuse me. Are you one of the movie stars?"

I can't emphasize enough how much this came out of nowhere. I also don't know what gave him the idea that I was a movie star, maybe other than what I was wearing (a purple sequined dress, a silver cross necklace, and blue/white/red slingback peep toe heels). But the question pleasantly took me aback, and after I said that I wasn't one, he added, "You're dressed so nice. You look beautiful." Which also was unexpected, and after I thanked him for his very kind words, he wished me a good night as I continued on in to the hotel.

My point in mentioning this is that there tends to be a very specific idea of what/who a "movie star" is or looks like, and not in a thousand years would I categorize myself in that way. But I think maybe looks/external beauty are only one part of it, and the rest is confidence--surety of self, and how you move through the world. I have more confidence now than I have had any previous point in my life. I know who I am, and I think I'm finally understanding how that affects people's perception of me.

So yes, that was just an interesting little moment and probably one of the highlights of the weekend. (The other was running into a David cosplayer who had on David's purple-green fuzzy sweater and purple Doc Martens (see below), a kilt for a character in Sandman, and a face tattoo and snakey eyes for Crowley--three cosplays in one!) Good Omens really is everywhere...

[gloopytits-chaosmod]

I think when certain people talk about "reactionary elements that sabotaged the historical so and so" they really just want to say "jews" because their analysis of said "reactionary elements" is shallow as dirt and the takeaway is usually that sneaky shadowy figures who oppose the Goodness of Our Vision do Bad Things from The Shadows with Help From Abroad to Undermine der Nationalcharakter unt nachlassen der DEUTSCHE ARBEITER

you sound like nazis. if you didnt get MY subtext.

[lettersiarrange]

hey are you a terf ? you've been reblogging stuff from radfems ...

No, I'm not a terf, I support trans people 100%. Also terfs are uncomfortably cozy with the alt-right and that's uhhh... a whole other layer of awful.

But I think I may be following a secret terf? Tumblr keeps showing me these posts that are like "liked by someone you're following!" And I follow 4k people so I'm not like. Keeping track of anyone but my mutuals. And some of the posts tumblr shows me are obviously terfy which makes me go HMMMM but then some of them seem fine? So it's hard for me to tell the difference between "posts tumblr reccomends me that are normal and in line with the regular leftist and feminist things I'm into" vs like "posts tumblr reccomends me because they're liked by whatever secret terf I'm following and have suspicious undertones that aren't immediately obvious to me". I'm certainly not intentionally following any terfs or following anyone who publicly identifies as a terf* or puts terf shit on my dash but I'm apparently following someone who doesn't blog about terf shit but LIKES terf shit (and I think it might be a fandom blog so that makes it harder to identify) and then those likes show up on my dash and it's not always obvious that it's terf shit or from a radfem blog-- it's just a random posts from a url I don't know. And sometimes the posts themselves are fine on the initial read.

So pls let me know what the radfem blogs in question are so I can identify and remember them if they pop up on my dash again

*caveat that I've been on this website for 10+ years and follow 4,000+ people and it's theoretically possible that a blog I followed multiple years ago that I never see on my dash now publicly identifies as a terf, but I'm not gonna go through all 4k of my following to try and find out if any of them have become publicly shitty in a way that doesn't affect my dash in the years since I've followed them. People get unfollowed as they bring shitty views to my attention. Hence the conundrum with the undercover terf bc they don't post terf shit, they just like it.

[drusic]

apparently everyone is allowed to change and grow as a person except for dream. 👍👍