#but i know i can overcome
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I think I'm growing up alright. I'm gonna keep at it.
#i worry a lot#you know#i'm afraid of other people#i'm afraid of the future#but i know i can overcome#or at the very least#the worst that can happen is that everything falls apart and i die#which would solve a problem i was looking for solutions way back when#so no worries there#i want to be connected#i want to hold onto something real#i want to become something real#i having become real want to reach out to you#with my weak arms and this slender spider's thread to carry us#maybe i'm doomed to fail#i don't know#i won't find out till the end#and there's just one chance anyways#so whatever#i'll keep going#i hope i can become someone worth relying on#not just an amusement or someone to ogle (though i'm not averse)#but i want to make the world just a little bit nicer#for those of us who fear it too#hand in hand#but i have wings that can take me anywhere#so i know i'll reach that distant sky
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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the gerudo outfits are always my favorite
#i know its armor but. can you call the botw one an armor. i mean#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#link#totk#eye strain#dont look at this too closely i have drawn this purely to overcome art block#i love this boy so much#i cant even play the games bc i am POOR and dont own a switch but ive watched soooo many gameplays#he’s such a little guy. tiny little guy who fits in my pocket#ele’s art#artists on tumblr
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You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspring#userrain#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes#steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again#thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened#and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them#which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping#& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured#& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself#he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine#like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss
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Goodbyes truly never get easier...
But, we still make it through, nonetheless!
I drew these yesterday for Terri and myself, imagining SD being able to jump between us has always been a core mechanic of how we cope with the distance between us ;;u;;
Of course, things won't be that way for long, and we will have so much time to blossom and grow together, creating our future one day at a time 💖
#my art#traditonal art#shop#terri#SD#the throuple#comfort#its gonna be a doozy#and alot to overcome#but i know we can make it happen#Terri and I#we've done it this long#and being together in person just feels so#natural#so much is going to change and it is terrifying and wonderful all at once#also hi hello i am gonna try to be more active here lmao#especially bc im considering pushing for commissions again#funds for the big move#ya'know?#anygay#thanks for reading all this rambling#i love you Terri
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You know, I feel like other trans people might get this, but it's honestly kind of refreshing when a cis person has, like, undeniable tboy/tgirl/whatever swag. It's like when you come across somebody who speaks the same language as you and you only find out when they start speaking it, too.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#all this to say that we are existing on a rock hurling through space#and this universe is going to collide into another and does it all truly matter in the end?#a lot of this is based on ideas we have about what constitutes certain people and i think it can be a fun observation#so long as you do not inherently ascribe certain traits as being indicative of who somebody Is#it can be amusing when you're SO confident that somebody is a certain way until you realize how Wrong you were#the amusement for me only comes because it's like... 'you tried your best to box somebody and you FAILED lmao'#and in a weird way it's kind of comforting because it reminds me that we all come into this world with bias that Will be challenged...#...so the best thing you can do is recognize those biases and then try to overcome them through great effort...#...so yes maybe i did think that cis dude had tboy swag but. that's not inherently his problem you know?#it probably just means he's confident in his manhood in a way that reminds me of the trans men* i know and love#i noticed that in him and it reminded me of my friends who are trans so i think 'oh! maybe that's why he's giving off those vibes!'#so while i won't treat him any differently before or after finding out i was wrong i'm still going to appreciate the fact that...#...he and i are literally just Vibing on the same planet and we both don't have time for petty arguing about manhood#i'll acknowledge what inspired those thoughts in me but that is Not his problem and that's good and beautiful actually#i don't always mind the tboy/tgirl swag meme just so long as you don't treat it like an Inherent Trans Experience Only Trans People Have#just recognize where those ideas are inspired from and it's fine <3#sometimes you will be Wrong and that's actually fucking neutral <<3#anyway rant over i just think this is /generally/ harmless and fun#like astrology. sometimes you just look up your star sign without ascribing your Entire Life to it <3#i think what i lot of people mean by saying a cis person has tboy/tgirl swag is just that...#...that cis person has an understanding of themself that comes from deep introspection that isn't necessarily expected of cis folk...#...but it is often something trans people do as part of our exploration of gender...#how is this the FIRST POST to reach tag limit... ask me for more thoughts if you want lol!
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It's always fun experiencing severe mental illness symptoms because of fiction, eh?
#helluva boss#Stolitz#helluva boss spoilers#helluva spoilers#I feel like I've finally managed to stabilise myself#Which is impressive. It's taken less than 24h. Thank you therapy#Last time a fandom left me emotionally in shambles (the last of us 2) it took me days to overcome the anxiety#Anyway the reason I'm talking about this is to hopefully give some visibility to the fact that this kind of thing can happen#When you struggle with mental illness#I'm not posting to vent or because I need help or anything! I'm fine!#But I do want others to know that it's okay if you're not fine because of something fictional you really care about and you're not alone#This is your reminder to think back to techniques that have helped you handle anxiety before if you're feeling shaken or on edge now#You got this!!!
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Marina Dyachenko and Sergey Dyachenko, Vita Nostra (tr. Julia Meitov Hersey) • Mircea Suciu, Camouflage (2) • Agostino Arrivabene, Immutatio • Matthias Claudius, "Der Tod und Das Mädchen" • Henry Fuseli, The Nightmare • Dragan Bibin, Pull (edited) • Maria Kreyn, Angel's Back • Franz Wimmer, Death and the Maiden • Mel Chin, Bat and Dove • Ana Sanchez, Death and the Maiden
#vita nostra#death and the maiden#the gothic imagination#some dread chord#compilations#web weaving#marina dyachenko#sergey dyachenko#henry fuseli#dragan bibin#franz wimmer#myedit#lit tag#litedit#bookedit#quotes one compiles while listening to the lexa lexie edit of house of metal 🎶#VN's themes of fear and metamorphosis got me thinking#beyond the fourth wall breaking+gnosticism aspects‚ it's ultimately a coming of age story right (or coming of Self if we're being literal)#and i would argue the figure of death / metamorphosis (oftentimes one and the same) is a key element in such a narrative#we see the terror turn into begrudging acceptance of the metamorphosis#and sasha does accept it‚ to a degree. to the degree that kostya remarks on how alike she and farit have become#but the story does not end at her acceptance. it ends with her reaching beyond it (esp with the final lines of the book):#“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. [...] Do not be afraid.”#the idea that 'yes you are the final law of this world but not of them all. i can create another one'#also some of the other elements to consider wrt the figure of death concept:#the coins necessary for admittance to the university (reminiscent of those given to the dead as a payment for the ferryman)#+ the instances farit's appearance is likened to an illuminated skull (one of the most harrowing being the last temptation offer to sasha)#+ the students almost being considered dead to the outside world once they cross the threshold of the town#idk it's just a really interesting aspect for me#realizing i probably went a little overboard with all the quotes. well. just know that i had to hold myself back from adding even more 👩🏻💻
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kuron voice do i look like i was born yesterday
#no. he was born AT LEAST a month ago#kuron vld#vld kuron#clone shiro#vld#my art#a few hours ago i uh. was overcome by the sudden urge to draw him w a bit more effort than usual...... this is the result:]#guess this doubles as perspective practice? dunno#im not sure whether or not this is wonky bc ive been staring at it for too long#anyway im pretty proud of how this turned out!!!! i am starting to notice a pattern in what lighing i choose#for literally every of my kuron pieces lol.#.its purple .just a shit ton of purple and also black. thats it thats all i can think of for him. some pinks in there too ig#not many ppl know this but he actually wasnt made to infiltrate voltron! his life mission is just to stand menacingly in dark rooms
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do u think that um. yk Julian was having a rough time in the later seasons. and ofc he wants to talk abt it, wants someone to help him process it, wants someone to just listen. but it's not easy to talk abt. and he wants to talk to Garak, wants Garak to know what's going on in his life, wants to be vulnerable and be met with support and care. but Garak is so emotionally unavailable and so unwilling to break his pleasant facade and so unwilling to deviate from their little social script. he was taught never to show care or vulnerability. and Julian gets so tired of playing their little game when, god, there's a war going on, his life is falling apart, can't Garak even acknowledge how bad things are for both of them? he doesn't need witty retorts, he needs sincerity. and Garak can't give him that. so he withdraws from their friendship. and it's not that Garak doesn't care. it's not that he doesn't want to help. but sincerity and vulnerability were beaten out of him a long time ago, and he doesn't know how to take off his mask. even just acknowledging genuine emotion is practically impossible for him. and maybe that's why ASIT is the apology that it is. it's saying, here, I've learned to be honest, I've learned to be vulnerable. I know the harm I caused you by refusing to acknowledge pain, so here's a whole book of me acknowledging pain.
#this is entirely projection idk if this is at all supported by the text#for the record I am garak here. gosh who knew it could hurt the ppl u love when u refuse to be emotionally vulnerable at all?#god I don't know. it's so hard. how do I look someone in the eyes and say I care. I love you. I want you to be okay. tell me what's wrong#I don't know how to deviate from the pleasant little social script we've rehearsed so many times#even when I know it's all a facade. when we're both refusing to acknowledge the emotional undercurrent of it all.#I want to help you. but that would require me to confront the impossibly big feelings I have abt it. and I can't. I just can't#I'm sorry#sigh. god knows if garak can overcome his repression then I can too. give me another few years. if you're still alive by then#ok to rb LMAO#narcissus's echoes#ds9
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My fellow aro people... When someone admits that they have a crush on you, do you still hang out/interact with that person? Do you change the kind of interaction you have with them?
I find that I get so uncomfortable when someone admits having feelings for me, that it's difficult to continue the kind of dynamic I've had with the person before. Does anyone have advice for reframing emotions/responses towards confessions to help me resist the urge to cut friends and people off?
#aromantic#i know i cant control being uncomfortable#but id like to get better at overcoming it#so i can respond with kindness instead of my reactionary instincts to disappear
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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finished succession again, found some kenstewy wips from way back
#overcome...#me as the whiteboard explaining gif: heres how i can still save kendall#i miss everyday that ao3 collection of kenstewy arts... where did it go... who was the artist... if you know please tell me#wip#finishing up a really weird oneshot soon too.#i hate my job so i need to be distracted at all times#s4 is so good though it was weird watching it when it was airing esp with how the fandom was... but it;s so good#what a fucking finale#anyway heres how kenstewy can still win.#actually heres how kendall can survive and overcome through the power of friendship with his dad's old body man.#has anyone written that yet#if not...#anyway sorry i needed to ramble#succession#tagging for my own blog#cw suggestive#is it insane to anyone else how like. empty. the fandom space is now. like hello is anyone there.
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enver gortash fascinates me from the perspective of his relationship with the dark urge because like, as far as i know his alliance with them is one of the very few he didn’t actively despise. the guy was sold into slavery by his own parents (who tried to justify it by saying their child was a hateful monster and anyone would have done the same) and spent his formative years employed by a devil who gets off on gratuitous levels of suffering and manipulation. and then once he's escaped that and built himself up so he can never be used and enslaved again he meets this bhaalspawn who also had to adapt and survive a violent and manipulative environment for years by becoming the monsters who raised them.
gortash sees how the dark urge has risen to command armies and slaughter hundreds in the same way he outfoxed raphael and ruthlessly controls the people in his employ, and after earning and owning his reputation as a tyrant heres another person who might actually have like, a shared lived experience. not exactly a friend, because people like them can't afford to have friends, but someone who at least understands. and he willingly works with them on this plan to enslave the sword coast and agrees to share power with them.
and then orin lobotomizes them, puts a tadpole in their head, and leaves them for dead at moonrise.
like, can you imagine. youre working with the first person you see eye to eye with and prooooobably arent plotting to actively sabotage (or, at least would hesitate to do so) and the rug just gets yanked out from under them by their own sister, and now you're stuck with her because the plan still has to move along. and as the days go by a group of adventurers start to screw up your plot right when baldur's gate is within your grasp, and you learn that among them is your old almost-friend who you actually liked and respected - and they have no memory of you whatsoever. oh, and on top of that they're rolling with people you've actively fucked over and want to kick your ass.
did it hurt for him to learn this? did he ever think about how things could have been different? did he think, you were supposed to be my ally, my friend, someone who actually understands that becoming a monster is the only way to keep yourself safe and in control. we were going to rule together. and now you're ride or die with this squad of people you've only known for a few weeks at best, and you want me dead. you don't even remember me. you don't even remember yourself.
#thinking about it from my durge's perspective hurts kinda#because losing their memory is the only thing that freed them enough to trust the people around them#and after meeting gortash and learning their history - and how they used to be friends#they probably thought a lot about how things could have been different if there wasnt a literal elder brain under his enslavement#like man if you werent actively in the way of saving the literal world maybe we could have talked about this#if i can overcome a lifetime of senseless slaughter and learn to love i wonder if you can too#but we'll never know#bg3#baldurs gate 3#the dark urge#enver gortash#im sure someone has talked about this already but ive just been thinking about it a lot ig#the what-if-ness of it all#long post#pin talks#bg3 gortash
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
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Manu the miracle 💫
#that pause after he said he didn’t know what his life would be like if he couldn’t play football again said everything#even though he’s got such a tight grasp on his emotions—in that moment you can see how much the injury rattled him#how much it still hurts to think about#you can tell he always has to be so strong—so composed…and to see a glimpse of his vulnerability makes my heart ache#I can only imagine how much strength and willpower he must’ve needed to overcome an injury like that#the dictionary definition of resilience#he’s got mental fortitude like no other in the world#an inspiration to us all ❤️#manuel neuer#fc bayern#fc bayern munich#fc bayern münchen#videos#footballer quotes
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