#but i just. i miss it. i don't understand why it's been so hard for an entire year
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pretty-little-mind33 · 2 days ago
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Dad!James Potter x wife!fem!reader
Summary: Telling James you're pregnant again is scary.
Genre: pure fluff
Warnings: reader is pregnant, vomiting
~ set after Santa Baby and before Snow On The Beach ~
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
Date nights were extremely important to James. Since Henry's birth, he was adamant that his alone time with you was something he didn't want to neglect, even if there was a child in the picture.
Now that Henry was nine, convincing Sirius and Remus to babysit wasn't hard. Especially since they would bring their four year old, Cassiopeia, with them and Henry would graciously play her while you and James went out. 
Tonight's date isn't any different than the others, except that you're a bundle of jumping nerves. It certainly doesn't help that James looks positively stunning with his dark hair slicked back, a few loose curls arrayed across his forehead, and his dark suit, which conveniently matches the velvet navy dress you're wearing.
The restaurant is fancy. It's James's favorite and you secretly think one of the reasons is he likes showing you how much he can spoil you, as if he hadn't been doing just that for the past thirteen years. He'd ordered this fancy appetizer, along with some wine you haven't touched and was currently talking about work. Taking over his father's company was putting some stress on him, which you understood. 
"You know, I can't wait till Harry starts school, not that I won't miss the little bugger," James chuckles behind his wine glass, his mind wandering, "but because we'll have more time. Just us."
His words cause your stomach to sink. How are you supposed to tell him now, you think. James, always observant to your emotions, frowns when he sees your expression. 
"You okay, you look like you're going to be sick—" 
As he speaks, the nausea hits you hard and you stand, holding a hand over your mouth as you rush to the nearest bathroom without any warning. You clumsily throw yourself on the ground, vomiting into the toilet and you choke on an embarrassed sob. 
James is hot on your heels the moment you leave dinner so abruptly, running into the women's bathroom without a care in the world. The older women, who'd been mildly appalled by your vomiting, send him some dirty looks but he doesn't pay them any mind as he opens the stall. He kneels next to you, gently gathering your hair in his hand as he uses the other one to rub soothing circles on your back.
"Hey, my love, what happened?" He asks between soothing words, his hand strokes your hair as you slump against him, tears glistening in your waterline. 
Your husband isn't stupid and he knows you. He looks into your eyes and he understands instantly. His breath hitches as he remembers just how bad your 'morning' sickness was when you were pregnant with Henry, lasting and becoming even worse in the evenings. His gaze softens instantly and clicks his tongue. "Why didn't you tell me?" he scolds half-heartedly, still rubbing soothing circles on your back. 
You sniffle, wiping your mouth with an enormous amount of toilet-paper as you whimper, "I felt like I was going to disappoint you, you seemed so happy for time alone and—"
"And now we are going to have another baby," James finishes for you, kissing your temple as he helps you up and brings you to the sink. He pushes hair behind your face as he gently takes some paper-towel, wets it, and gently runs it under your chin and around your mouth. You look miserable and his heart breaks. 
He doesn't say anything for a moment as he washes your hands, washing his in the process as well. Your mind races. You don't know what to think, what to feel about this new life growing inside you.
He places his large palm on your stomach. You're not showing, yet. You flinch, sniffing. "Why so sad, love?" he whispers as he tries to comfort you.
"You're upset," you whisper, looking at your appearance in the mirror. You look like a mess.
James grins. "Says who?" He laughs and presses a kiss to your forehead again. 
You look on the verge of tears again and your husband's smile falters. He leans down, catching your gaze so you're looking at him properly. "Hey, love, please don't cry okay? I'm not upset, I promise. I'm happy. So so happy, really," James reassures you, a familiar glint of sincerity in his eyes. "We are having another baby. This is the best news, okay?" 
Tension eases in your shoulders and you finally relax. The warm feeling of happiness seeps back into you. You sniff again, looking into his eyes. "Promise?"
He straightens himself and holds out his pinky for you to take. "I pinky promise." You hook your pinky with his and he leans down, kissing his closed fist. You hesitate, finally cracking a small smile as you do the same. 
"Excuse me? This is the ladies room," a snark voice calls from behind you both and you look towards the voice. A woman is standing tensely in the doorway, gripping the hand of her young daughter, and she's glaring daggers at James.
The little girl looks confused and she's clearly feeling the fear her mother is and you can tell from James's expression he feels bad. 
"Sorry." He waves his hands in the air, his cheeks dusted pink, as he points to you, "My wife was sick—I was just leaving—" James looks your way and mouths, "You coming?"
You nod, taking his hand, as he leads you out the door. You mumble a small apology to the woman and James sends a small reading smile to the girl, hoping not to scare her.
Once your back at your table, James gulps down his wine and looks at you sheepishly. "Oops," he mutters. You smile and cover your giggles. James's smile widens when you laugh and he reaches over, resting his hand over yours. 
"Seriously, baby," he says, seriously now, "I'm really happy. And Henry will be happy too."
You rub your temples, taming some of the wisps of hair that fall in front of your eyes. "Yeah? You think so?"
James laughs, "No. He's gonna be furious," he pauses when he sees that his joke isn't landing and he squeezes your hand. "I'm joking. He'll be the best big brother. He's already so good with Cassi, he's practically an older brother already."
You smile. "He is, isn't he?"
James hums, that giddy smile of his returning. "Pregnant. Again," he muses, "I can't believe how lucky I am," he says and looks at you like you're the brightest star in the universe. You feel your cheeks warm. "I love you."
"I love you more," you say back, bringing his knuckles to your lips. 
James grins and when he catches glimpse of your untouched wine glass, a smirk curls his lips and shake his head, clicking his tongue. "Can't drink this, baby," he teases you and slides it over to his side. You roll your eyes. 
"I wasn't," you argue playfully.
"Hmm?"
You swat his hand, knowing he's teasing you on purpose to lighten the mood. Still, your nerves have calmed and you aren't feeling as nauseous anymore. In fact, you can finally truly feel excited now. Another baby. You smile.
Once the food arrives and the topic of conversation had changed to James excitedly coming up with new baby names, you feel at ease again and warmth spreads in your stomach.
You move your foot under the table, gently touching James's ankle—just to let him know you love him. James doesn't mention it but his smile widens as he speaks, a look of adoration and love sparkling in his eyes. 
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archangeldyke-all · 3 days ago
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hii idk if you’re still writing the cowboy sevika fics but i’m actually obsessed with them you have no idea!! anyway i was thinking a fluffy little fic about sevika being depressed after shimmers death and reader, vi, and jinx do their best to cheer her up/support her!! do whatever you want i’ll literally take anything i just love your characters so much🙏🙏
YEEHAWWWW i miss cowboy sevika
men and minors dni
it's been a month since you and your girls buried shimmer by your garden. not a night has passed where sevika hasn't cried herself to sleep in your arms. it's breaking your heart.
watching shimmer die was hard enough. you were never much of a horse person before meeting sevika's trusty mare, but shimmer converted you. before sevika settled down with you; one of your greatest comforts when she was out wandering the desert was that she had shimmer there with her. the horse was so in tune with sevika, and they'd been riding together for so long, that they practically moved as one. you worried less about sevika losing her mind when she had shimmer to listen to her rambling. you worried less about her losing her life when she had shimmer to run her back home to you if she ever got too beat up.
and as sweet as sevika is when she claims you're her best friend-- you know that title really belongs to shimmer.
"we should do somethin' for sev." vi mumbles one night. jinx is fast asleep between the pair of you, after insisting she wasn't tired for an hour straight.
"like what?" you ask.
vi shrugs. "cait and her dad go hunting sometimes."
you giggle. "you're crazy if you think we're giving jinx a gun."
vi laughs. "no, no, we wouldn't hunt. we could just, y'know, go camping or something. there are some cold springs thirty miles west of here."
"and how would we get there without a horse?"
"we could borrow one of grayson's." vi suggests.
you smile and turn to face her. "you've been planning this?" you ask. she smiles guiltily.
"sevika's just been so sad. i wanna cheer her up."
your heart bursts with love and you dart forward, squeezing jinx between your body and vi's as you attempt to hug her. vi giggles. jinx wakes up with an annoyed groan.
so, a week later, you, your wife, and your girls set out with a horse drawn wagon and one of grayson's newest additions: a young colt named 'teddy.' grayson was happy to lend you the horse, muttering something about him being a pain in the ass to train. "if there's anyone i know who can get through to a stubborn horse like teddy, it's sevika." she sighed.
the ride out to the springs is rocky and bumpy, sevika getting used to riding a horse that isn't shimmer-- teddy being an ass just for the hell of it. at least the girls find it fun. their giggles and squeals are the soundtrack for your entire ride to the springs. even with all the curses she's spewing at teddy, sevika looks more relaxed than she has in weeks back on top of a horse.
"what're we even gonna do once we get there?" jinx asks. you snort and ruffle her bangs.
"well, i'm going swimming. you losers can do whatever you want." you say. the girls giggle.
"do you think there are cliffs we can jump off of?" vi asks. you shrug.
"i'm sure we can find some. we've got a whole river to explore."
"none of you are doing any exploring until we set up camp and get a fire going." sevika huffs from on top of teddy's back.
"boo! boring." jinx whines.
'setting up camp' ends up being sevika building the tent and jinx feeding teddy while you and vi attempt to make a fire the old fashioned way.
"how did the cavemen ever do this?" vi huffs as she rubs two sticks together. you snort.
"i'm sure they had tools. blubber to make it catch better, or something."
vi rolls her eyes. "i don't understand why she won't just give us her lighter."
you laugh and look up at sevika as she wipes her sweaty brow. "she doesn't trust us not to burn down the whole riverbed."
"or she's just bossy." vi mutters. you cackle.
"i think you're right, kid."
you don't make it into the river on your first night, but you don't mind much. when the sun sets, the heat of summer fades and the cool dark forces you all to squish together on a log in front of the fire while sevika cooks up beans and weenies on the fire.
"is that a planet or a star?" vi asks. jinx looks up and hums.
"i think it's venus."
"yeah?"
"i think so. sev?" jinx asks.
sevika glances up at the sky, smiling proudly and ruffling jinx's bangs. "you nailed it, kiddo."
"what constellations are out tonight, sev?" jinx asks, tucking herself under your wife's arm. sevika hums, leaning back to study the sky.
you don't bother to look at the sky. pretty as the stars are, they're nothing compared to the sight of your three girls, cuddled together and illuminated in the firelight.
"follow my finger. you see those three stars close together?" sevika whispers, her voice melding with the crackle of the fire and the roar of the river.
"yeah." vi whispers. jinx nods against sevika's shoulder.
sevika drags her finger across the sky. "see how they lead into a cross? there?"
"is that the northern cross?" jinx asks. sevika nods, her smile growing.
"you know it. anyways, the cross is in the center of cygnus the swan. backbone of the milky way." sevika's eyes flick down and catch yours, and she smiles shyly. you grin. there are more stars in her eyes than in the whole night sky.
you spend the next day in the river with the girls, laughing and splashing and squealing when fish nibble your ankles. vi and sevika ride upriver to try to find cliffs to jump off of, and you teach jinx how to doggy paddle. when the girls return, they're soaking wet and cackling.
that evening, with the girls fast asleep in the tent, you and sevika smoke a joint and go skinny dipping.
"did you have fun with vi?" you ask, your arms and legs wrapped around your wife. sevika giggles against you.
"i shouldn't tell you." she says. you giggle.
"'s that supposed to mean?"
"means she almost jumped onto some rocks several fucking times. gave me a heart attack."
you groan, shaking your head. "no, you shouldn't've told me." you agree. sevika giggles.
"but, we both lived, didn't we?" she asks. you laugh.
"y'know we're gonna have to adopt teddy from grayson?" you ask. sevika snorts.
"what makes you say that?"
"jinx is obsessed with him. braided and un-braided his mane like six times today. calls him 'teddy bear.' plus..." you trail off.
sevika darts forward to kiss you. you hum against her lips. "plus?" she asks, her lips brushing yours.
"plus, you need a new horse. you look good in the saddle."
sevika hums and kisses you again. "you take such good care of me. how am i supposed to keep up my bandit appearance when i got a wife that talks me into adoptin' horses and takes me out on vacation?"
you laugh. "you haven't been a bandit in half a decade. and the vacation was violet's idea. she was worried about you."
sevika sighs and leans forward to rest her forehead against your shoulder. "you still take good care of me." she says. you kiss her scalp.
"well... y'know. you're my dingus the duck."
"your what?!" sevika asks with a cackle. you groan and shrug.
"i dunno, those stars you were talking about last night!" you whine.
"cygnus the swan!?" she asks. you nod.
"that's the one."
"what the fuck are you talking about?" she asks though her laughs. you snort.
"y'know. you're the backbone of my galaxy, or whatever."
sevika's teasing expression melts, stars sparkling in her eyes. "that's awfully corny, darling." she whispers, her voice shaky with emotion. you smile.
"what the-- what are you two doing?!" vi squawks from the riverbank. you and sevika giggle guiltily, caught by your kids canoodling in the cold springs.
"go back to the tent!" you shout.
"awe, gross, are you guys naked!?" jinx whines.
sevika snorts. "we all bathed together three hours ago!"
"yeah, but you guys weren't all up on each other-- vi, let's go before we overhear something nasty." jinx groans, tugging on her sister's arm.
violet laughs and stumbles behind jinx. "don't drown!" she calls.
taglist!
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taglist!!
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enigmaticstareyesee · 2 days ago
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OKAY, I AM MASSIVE HYPOCRITE
I have taken time to re-think the new Fulgrim look, I've done a massive 360° onto the other side of the coin. And I fuck hard with his new look...
IN FACT
I think they should have cracked him out, EVEN MORE. They should have pushed the pedal, even more. We should be looking at him like 'dawg how are you alive ? And why are you twitching so much ??'
Do I low-key miss some elements of his heresy demon form ? Yeah. I loved the snake and lizard-esquec scales, the ribbon corset on his back, and the whole maximalist, eccentric and ornate styling of the model.
However, with his new 40k model, they really have thought about and said what happens to an individual who has access to all forms of desire, pleasure, culture, art, invention, fashion, emotions and craft?? Has been left to overindulgence in his own desires unchecked and unregulated?? And further douse himself in his own personal preconceived, perfectionism???
I know, I know. I was publicly to tweaking about the model but the endless potentials that I now have come to be enlightened to, are overwhelming.
Really truly? I should have just looked at Angron's current model, and realised Fulgrim was about to be almost types of Deamon evolution.
I'm So Fucking excited for the new book. I really Want to see what he's going to do next? And how he's going to fit in the current imperium. Because I don't know if it's me being uneducated and really truly only being into 40K little less than a year, but I don't know how Fulgrim is going to fit into the current narrative.
Like I get Angron, Mortarion, and Magnus. The first 2 literally hated their father, everything he's ever done or created, disliking or even hating their brothers and even both their contentment for humanity. Angron being an almost feral blinded beast and Mortarion being 99% with Nurgle but that 1% being the perpetuate awareness of what he's done and the potential wrath of his father. Magnus has a lot going on, before, during ans after everything, but I understand his goals as to why he may sometimes attack the imperium or humankind (it's just hard to simplify).
But current Deamon Fulgrim ? Genuinely all I can see is that he's doing it for the love of the game. Like this mf is just wanting to fuck with everyone for the sake of fucking with everyone.
I'm so excited to see what happens next
(I need friends to talk about this with. I might need to join a discord or something) (or talk to a therapist)
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utilitycaster · 23 hours ago
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I’ve never actually watched a campaign of critical role live, like I first heard of it at the start of c3, didn’t finish campaigns 1 and 2 until episode like 80, and decided to just let c3 finish airing so I could binge. You’ve been in fandom since c2, and I wanted to ask two questions. How does criticism of c3 differ from c2, or even c1? Also, since the fandom has grown and the cast is now much more removed from the fans, do you think if they ever do another long form campaign they’ll try and address some complaints people have had about c3? Or will they just continue to do their own thing? It just feels (to me with no point of comparison) that a lot of people have a lot of valid complaints about c3 and I can’t imagine they’d just ignore all of it, but I could just be naive
Let me answer the ending question first, which is that I do not know how much the cast sees and honestly I wouldn't even blame them for ignoring most commentary during the campaign because I think it's hard to actually run a campaign constantly trying to make the fandom happy. I also have some guesses that the cast has their own doubts that are perhaps less harsh than what many of us have been saying, but are present. Like I can't imagine they missed how rushed the emotional beats of this campaign felt, and how bad this party is at making decisions that feel earned and interesting and don't take them 3 hours, even if they might keep that private. I think the flaws of this campaign are also a bit of a perfect storm, namely, Matt had a very specific plot in mind but ran this campaign with too open a hand, and the cast of characters they played could have used a bit more balance. I mean, I'll admit to being unimpressed by a few of Bells Hells' initial premises compared to other parties, but most actually could have become great if they were in a more character-tailored campaign like the previous two. I think without this goal of creating a big culmination in a hypothetical future campaign, this problem of having ill-suited characters for that type of plot and then pushing development aside in the service of that culmination becomes a nonissue.
Now, fan criticism. This gets tricky, because a lot of criticism, to be blunt, sounds similar on the surface no matter how valid it is. For example, "this ship lacks chemistry and development" is basically a criticism people throw at any ship they dislike. Chemistry is ultimately subjective, or at least impossible to measure in a meaningful way (this is why the But Number Go Up crowd hates when it gets brought up, like, doesn't matter how many fics your ship has if I think the characters are cold fish with each other; I'll never like it) and development is not but requires strong meta to back it up and it's hard to prove a negative.
Shipping aside, though: I think the clincher for me is that people who ended up disliking Campaign 2 any time between the ending of the hiatus or after the finale, were as a rule invested in one very specific outcome: either they quit because their ship didn't happen (including the many, many people who thought Fjord and Jester or Beau and Yasha would break up in the finale, apropos of nothing); in the case of Shadowgast that the ship didn't happen in the way they expected; or they quit because Molly was not resurrected. There was certainly a lot of trepidation going into the finale that not all stories would have a satisfying conclusion (notably Caleb, Yasha, and Fjord, all of whom did get meaningful resolution in the finale) but, at least in my circles, no one was arguing that the Nein as a whole felt robbed and that the campaign did them dirty. You had the weirdass Caduceus stans who failed to understand that his story was precisely what he wanted, or the Caleb Should Have Killed Everyone In The Assembly people, but honestly at least in my recollections a lot of those were secondary to various shipping/Molly complaints and grew out of there as a means to bash the campaign for additional reasons, rather than as a root cause for dissatisfaction themselves. Here, we have people who are ostensibly thrilled with the shipping outcome and the endstate with the gods becoming mortal and who were crowing about that up until the finale announcement at which point they, in their own words, crashed out and suddenly began agreeing with everything this campaign's detractors had said re: lack of character-focused arcs and rushed pacing, and I think that's notable.
I don't feel qualified really to speak about Campaign 1 because I wasn't there, but I think in addition to the violent misogynistic hate which Critical Role obviously did not nor should have listened to and taken as guidance, there was the usual "MY SHIP DIDN'T HAPPEN SO THIS CAMPAIGN IS BAD AND PROBLEMATIC" complaints we saw with Campaign 2.
I guess my point is, getting back to that first paragraph about shipping, you can't go off of the phrasing of criticism; you really do need to take it in context.
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bittsandpieces · 8 days ago
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valzhangism · 2 months ago
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i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."
she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.
so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.
#mel medarda#her characteristics; the whole point of her dichotomy with her mom;#is that she does not use violence. she fights and controls with words.#with her intelligence. with her knowledge of people and their minds.#so now thinking about it i'm a little :/ that not only#did we not get to see a lot of that in s2#but she just. became another fighter?#i also know there was that whole thing about how mages aren't accepted in noxus but#honestly? kind of stupid. magic violence is still violence.#and i know arcane retcons a lot of things but.#the lore noxus. was not like that iirc. and it feels like a strange thing to just make up.#done in service just to make mel a Cool Badass Mage™ while still saying#hey guys! she's still different from her mom don't worry!#also. hey. hey. why is she going back to noxus. can someone to explain that to me#like ok i know it's her only connection left. i kinda understand.#but at the same time...? what. is she gonna do there#i know sevimel is a crackship but i kinda wished she stayed in piltover to help#better things for zaunites. and help sevika on the council#(god knows she needs it)#that might have been a fitting conclusion to her character. to me!#look i cant lie and say i hated watching mel be all badass like. she's awesome.#but character writing wise... kind of let down?#we didn't even get to know more about her past or where she's from.#and yes i know they're prolly going to explain it in the new show because they were noxusbaiting hard.#but man... i don't know...#sorry holy shit that's a lot of words.#if anyone has any opinions would love to hear them. still very conflicted on this whole thing.#it just feels like i'm missing something.#arcane
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winepresswrath · 2 years ago
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I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE
I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).
but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.
Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.
And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:
Heaven has Institutional Problems
Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.
Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.
We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.
Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.
#good omens spoilers#good omens season two spoilers#idk it makes me sad that i didn't like the humans very much this season because i think ideally they're central to this whole how to be#a person question i also hope we get to see more of hell next season because i do think they're stuck in basically the same place#with a different aesthetic! and the stick being#thrown into a torture pit instead of thrown into hell#or like. mindwiped and locked in an office for all eternity#gabriel broke my heart which is embarrassing but when he goes from not even understanding what music is to experiencing#the simple pleasure of sharing a song with someone for the very first time and almost immediately hits repeat for eternity... baby. baby bo#i would also like more crowley! this was very much the season of aziraphale#which is fine but i missed him yelling questions at god and the bits where it seemed he really wanted aziraphale's opinion instead of just#wanting aziraphale to develop better opinions#next season had better be crowley wrestles with the universe i am telling you!!!#remember three months ago when i was like eh... another good omens season#i bet it'll be cute but i'm content with my book#i don't go here i said strapping on my clown shoes#seriously though i do think crowley is scared to admit to wanting to be good both because god rejected him and he doesn't want#to be a sucker for her (he is only interested in being a sucker for aziraphale)#and like. chase after something he's barred from and has already been told isn't for him.#and that's why it's so hard for him to admit even to himself that he too would be unhappy ditching earth#in ways that parallel aziraphale's unwillingness to let go of heaven as a source of moral authority and goodness#but the way aziraphale goes oh no! i cannot trust my own judgement and desires. They are suspect!#my judgement is that crowley is good and also funny and sexy. my desires are for his company and also his body#therefore the source of these desires is also maybe bad. i mean he's a demon. he's got to be bad#right??? but no. but i saw him do a good thing. but maybe i didn't? I should probably take a stance on this.#and he makes this crowley's problem until the apocalypse but then the second he gets the chance to cram crowley and his feelings for him#back in a heaven approved box he jumps at it in a way that requires just being WILDLY insensitive and dismissive of crowley's feelings#he's not just being a dick about their relationship he is being a dick about crowley as a person. and he should know better but is choosing#not to because he wants the easy out so badly. anyway i love him he was my favourite character all season no notes#good omens
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envolvenuances · 5 months ago
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and my mother gets angry I don't rely on her today now that she suddenly wans to help. but like I cannot trust this is sincere and something I can count on while she still not capable of being honest with me. tired of being told I am unreasonable and crazy not asking for help on the house that beat the shit out of me for catching dengue fever and always attached human value and independence to how much money you were putting at the table
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girlivealwaysbean · 5 months ago
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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allsassnoclass · 1 year ago
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please don't feel bad for not doing ficmas this year, but please know how wonderful the past years were <3 thank you so much for sharing your work <3 cant wait to reread my favorites from past years this month <3
aw, thanks anon! i'm pretty bummed about it tbh just because it was a whole three year tradition! which feels like a long tradition in fic terms and i did like having it be part of my "thing" but yeah the writing is just not working out this time. i'm glad you're looking forward to rereading! i hope you enjoy <3
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savage-rhi · 1 year ago
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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rogue one posting like attention everyone who didn't like all the characters or get why they did things: i Am better than you
#did not follow General Posting then or now. even if i did it would not be The Full Picture anyways#like sure seems overall rogue one is liked as it should be. saying starwars fans were tepid / mixed reactions abt it may also not be apt#like uhh maybe starwars fans in their twenties/thirties? and even then lol this is a lot of people#but the fact that there's Enough of w/e pattern of ''how can we like these characters though'' or ''how can i understand jyn''#like the answer is just Get Good....does one need to imagine someone is glup shitto's great uncle to accept character introductions or.#as discussed don't even know what the problems are w/jyn but i'll stan to pick up the slack. it's not hard#the least glimpses like what do you Mean it's unfathomable motivations why cassian didn't noscope dads mikkelspace...ffs#head in hands i have to do every last thing myself. it's not difficult!! what anyone's even talking about....#a helpful hint is one might just have to go along for some time without assuming you have all the info you need about a person#or certainly be ready to adjust it like ''oh but this seems contrary to other previous things'' like a) reconcile it & b) is it really?????#It's The Self Assurance lmfao like. Eye don't get to be hype abt a protagonist or always understand the motivations for things?#that's a tuesday. i Realize i may be missing things or w/e. but it's like regularass media criticism like the protagonist confused me#or when someone did something surprising i went ''i should not be surprised by anything'' sooo could've been better#YOU could've been better. *I* understand.#rogue one#and i mean i'm in alignment w/the evident consenses out here like overall [rogue one v good] is agreed [andor is like omg] is agreed#so i can like; know peace. & idc anyways lmfao it Could be my personal opinion#but in the cagematch smackdown of media analysis i will defeat the weak overconfident ''lol why'd anyone do any of that'' Pathetic.#suplexing or whatever like You're Nothing
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anonymouslyventingatyou · 1 month ago
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do you remember how we talked about how our mutual friend was exhausting to be around because she would constantly say 'I want to die', 'I want to kill myself', etc?
congrats on becoming that friend now
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eats-the-stars · 4 months ago
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reading some fics lately that have characters using sign language to hold secret conversations, which is fine. if two people were speaking French and no one else in the room did, that would be the same situation. my issue is that somehow, no one can tell that they're signing. like they're doing it secretly/discretely and yeah i can see a few signs that would be subtle, but you can really tell that the writer doesn't actually know signs because they're signing things that would be really hard to sign in a room full of people without making it obvious you're using sign. mostly, signs that involve bringing your hands to your face.
reading the way people write signing...they really heavily focus on the hands, and overlook that where you put them in relation to the body is a big part of signing. especially bringing them up to your face. also finger-spelling is a big headache to rely on. imagine instead of using full words, someone spoke each letter aloud to you, and you had to piece that into a sentence. big headache. alright for names and an odd word or two, but multiple sentences? sorry but that's just painful, and it's tricky.
Also, I can see how signing can be a way to communicate over the heads of everyone in the room who doesn't know sign, but bro, they will know you're signing. Just like if you were speaking French they would be like "shit I don't know French" and then they might catch a cognate here or there just like ppl might see the sign for "book" or "eat" and figure it out. But, just, sign language is very expressive, and it's totally visual, so it's meant to be very visible and clear to see. Most signs are oriented around the face and upper body, since most conversations are, you know, face to face, so you can't really like...sign them all behind your back or under a table or with only one hand.
Like "mom" is holding your hand vertical and touching your thumb to your chin. You can't do that sign without bringing your hand to your face. However, it's short, so finger-spelling would work. But that was just an example of a word that can't be done, like, behind your back.
"Red" however, could be passed off as a character briefly stroking their chin. "All done" could be made to look like a casual gesture. "Sit" and "Friend" could possibly be done under a table, or made to look like casual fidgeting.
Behind the back would actually be really hard, and most signs would be, like, upside down. You could probably do some really simple ones that just need two or one hand(s), like "More" or a color or something. I just tried "Help" and "Stop and it felt awkward and I don't know if it was legible, but those might work.
So, you could write covert signing, but my advice is to stick to a handful of words per exchange at most, and just simply look up the word online, and see if it's something that could be passed off as a casual gesture or a fidget, or done under a table or behind your back (not many will work behind your back tbh).
If you're only using a few scenes with simple exchanges, it shouldn't be too much work to look up a few signs until you get a combo that works.
I do think a quick fix to avoid all that would be to just state that the characters are using a modified/altered/original and simplified form of sign language, designed to be less eye-catching and pass as natural gestures/movements. And then add in that due to these limitations, it's also much more limited than fully expressive sign language.
You wouldn't even need to detail anything after that. Just keep the covert signs very simple and avoid overly long and detailed conversations that no one could probably sign back and forth without being clocked unless it was cool for them to suddenly be, like, really really fidgety.
It's not really a big deal. I love seeing people add sign to their writing. It just itches at me to see it being so commonly used as a "covert language" when so many signs honestly need to be oriented around the head/face and are not at all subtle because it's meant for daily conversation, and not, like, covert ops. And it's such an easy fix. So I just thought I'd throw this out there.
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depresseddepot · 5 months ago
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me: hey so one of the three cats has diarrhea but I need to figure out who. can you keep an eye on your cat, because he only really comes down here to use the litter box so I can't watch how he's acting like I can the others
my mother: wh.......huh........... .? "keep an eye on him"...........i mean............ill try.......how am i expected to do that......................do i just "look" at him.....?. "pay attention to him..?"......i don't think i can do that.......... .you're being so fucking dramatic actually. this fork becoming dirty after i ate using it is your fault too
#joey i am so sorry i have to leave you with this woman#sorry ignore this lmfao i just don't understand why she acts like keeping an eye on how HERR cat behaves is so hard for her#she works less hours than i do and makes like 5x as much (literally)#''how am i supposed to know where he is'' you Look#''okay well how do i know if he's acting weird'' HES YOUR CAT. YOU LOOK AT HIM#im watching him too ofc because apparently im the only one that gives a shit about the cats in this household#but he doesn't like one of my cats so he doesn't come down here very often#is it like unreasonable of me to ask her this. like am i fucking missing something#the way she like sighed deeply after i asked and was like ''i mean.....ok....but i don't see him anymore than you do''#HE SLEEPS OJ YOUR BED#LOOK AT HIM#he walks around and plays with dogs and you pet him all the time just FUCKING LOOJ AT HIM#''and then what? youll take him to the vet?''YES????????????#yes i will take YOUR cat to the vet because you won't fucking do it#when my cat was peeing blood she wanted me to wait a week to ''see if it would clear out''#and when he couldn't use his leg she kept telling me it was just a sprain when in fact he has TORN HIS CCL#the vet told me the only other time she had ever seen a cat with a torn ccl was when a stray had been KICKED BY A DEER#yeah a sprain. uh huh. he slept for 48 hrs straight and it must've been a sprain#hes all better now thank god but im constantly kicking myself that i let her convince me into waiting a full week for his ''sprain'' to heal#just watch joey. just look at him. just literally pay any fucking attention to YOUR cat#if joey didn't hate my other cats so much i would 100% bring him with me too#but he's very much an only cat kind of cat so he WILL be happier when i leave#i just hope she gets her shit together and starts caring for him the way she's supposed to#maybe itll spark empty nest syndrome and she'll obsess over it or something#literally ANYTHING#vent
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ourceliumnetwork · 7 months ago
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god. no one prepares you for the irritation and anger that comes when assistive devices and medical equipment actually fix your problems.
#okay to reblog#i'm in the midst of a super bad flare exacerbated by my menstrual cycle right now#and like so i'm still feeling symptoms even with the socks on but like that's because my uterus is trying to stage a coup#(ooo i hope i picked the right coup to spell... we'll hope)#like so i still can't eat right now because i'm nauseous just being Upright at all#but before i put the socks on and all day yesterday i was feeling *woozy* about it even just sitting up in bed#i feel SIGNIFICANTLY better this morning so far which means it *is* just a flare and i'm not sick or somehow dying faster than normal#but like. it still feels bad and i cannot believe how long i went through life thinking i was just randomly getting sick for a day#i knew my period took me out i didn't realize how much it was taking me out until i gained some sort of reprieve from my symptoms#and now when i take them off i Notice which makes them feel worse#and it's just like...#okay here's my inner capitalist coming out i'm working on him#but like... how many days of work did i miss how much money did i lose because my blood doesn't come back from my legs right?#how much time how many things have i missed out on because my body is like this and i didn't know it could be fixed by putting on a pair#of compression socks#i will probably have a similar breakdown when i eventually acquire a wheelchair#because i 100% need one i can see this now#and that... feels bad to say but also like relieving?#i was right i was right the whole fucking time#since i was Very Fucking Small#i don't understand why no one else saw these things as a problem until i found my new family#i don't understand why this wasn't concerning to anyone until NOW#and now i'm getting it fixed and i'm so glad i'm getting answers and getting things fixed but like#why did it take so long?#why did i waste half my life doing things the hard way? why couldn't it have been easy?#in order to be able to experience the world i cannot be standing for very long i cannot be forced to walk for long periods of time#i HAVE to be able to sit down for most of it and that is limiting and frustrating and#i am losing control over what i can do with my body and that was the ONE THING i had control over for the hardest parts of my life#it's what got me through the fucking abuse and neglect was that i knew what i could do with my body#and now i'm losing those things and it is *terrifying*
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