#but i felt very confused.
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in ur tags you wrote the unstoppable force post was andreil coded…. well do you know sakavic herself reglogged that post too…. bc eyes are wide open rn
OMGDJJFHDHFJDHDJJDJFJD no i did not know that i did not clock that. makes me feel weirdly validated tho. highlight of my day because yes. YES. it just screamed andreil to me and to have nora go ‘same’ does feel like a win to me. thank you so much for telling me you made my week <3
i mean. yeah eyes wide open. (neil the unstoppable force always on the run, changing, adjusting, moving things along for others as well etc, andrew the immovable object not just in his ethics/morals/approach but also as a source of stability to lean on etc… and their colliding is not just what the want but what they NEED as individuals to grow!!! andrew providing stability for neil to grow roots and have a home and have a place to belong, neil bringing with him a revitalising force, a forward momentum that presents andrew with a future that is more than just an empty existence or a waiting for death but a Life. that’s why they work. like. they wanted to collide, they needed to collide, THEY WERE MEANT TO COLLIDE))
#i am making myself sick. and unwell. i didn’t want to reread already but.#AAHHHHHH I AM IN HELL#i miss them so much. my resolve to wait is crumbling.#again THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON FOR TELLING ME <33333 need to go look fot taht post on her blog now.#have the best of days you beautiful soul#anon#answer#for bad days#andreil#nora sakavic#((these tags are just for me to i find this ask again in a few weeks time fjjdjdjdj)#edit: there weren’t tags but somehow i realised i wasn’t following nora’s blog which?!?!!! HUH?!?!! like weird.#i remember following her years ago in like. 2014 or 15?!?#i did follow her back in my mindyardx days so. idk idk.#and i know she was on my dash until recently. idk if tumblr was buggy again#but i felt very confused.#aftg meta
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I… don’t really see myself continuing with the Amazing Digital Circus anymore.
#txt#it’s not a bad show#the recent episode was also pretty alright#but I don’t know. it’s just not clicking for me ya know? even though I really want to#I love the designs and the premise. I love that it has girls that are weird in not that condescending modern writing kind of way#the last episode just confused me. it felt purposefully aimless and then the last 3 minutes suddenly it was about Gangle wanting to be like#but… has anyone explictely shown any dislike for her other than Jax? everyone seems very friendly with her#I feel like it would have made more sense if Gangle felt mistreated or neglected#because a lot of terrible shit does happen to her (specifically from Jax) and nobody intervenes#whatever. I’m happy that other people are enjoying the episode though. I’m just not feeling this show anymore
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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the kind of chemistry these two have is very entertaining
#again. relistening to the black sea arc and these two were so fun from the very beginning. i love their conversations and bickering hehehe#that's the problem i have with watching something in ongoing. i forget literally everything that happens in the previous episode#i need to take notes or something i don't know....#because chip and igneous had a lot of fun moments that i totally forgot about and i was so confused when chip proposed to him#bc to me it felt 'out of nowhere'. they still do only know each other for 2 days so that point stands. but they're not complete strangers#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#jrwi igneous#jrwi flint and steel#my art#sketch#also igneous is👏big👏#grizzly said he was around 6ft and in my mind it immediately translates to 'a lot bigger than 6ft'
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Red Hooded Phantoms
Hmm
Another deaged or reborn Danny idea
But also Danny is Jason plotline. I've seen a few Danny is/reborn Dick, Tim, and a few rare Damian ones but I feel like we don't see a lot of Danny as Jason.
After being deaged by Vlad in another failed attempt to make Danny his son, he decided to try raising a deaged Danny instead because the boy would have no memories of his past, however during the struggle between Vlad and Team Phantom, Danny is sent into Vlad's lab portal and into the Zone, only for another random portal to open up and drop him into the DCverse and into a Gotham alleyway.
He is found by Shelia Haywood and well, we all know the life of Jason Todd after that.
Or he dies due to like the GIW, or bad Vlad, or bad Fenton Parents (Not picky on which) and is later reborn due to the damage done to his core.
It isn't until he dies and returns that Jason Danny feels like its something familiar, something is itching in the back of mind as he mindlessly wonders around Gotham after digging himself out of his grave.
And it only becomes more and more familiar when he is later found by the LOA/Talia and tossed into the Pits. Even the rage he gains feels familiar.
Later he becomes Red Hood, and that timeline happens.
Jason Danny doesn't find out the actual truth until one day the sky is ripped open by a glowing Lazarus green portal and a large armor covered being steps out, declaring he is there to fight for his crown/throne against the one that bested him last time and to bring forth Phantom for their battle.
And he had less than a few hours to come forward or else he will rip this world apart. (Pariah Dark may be a Tyrant King but he wanted his throne/crown back along with revenge against the one that stole it in the first place legitimately so it couldn't be denied)
A huge JL and JLD meeting is held and no one can find this 'Phantom'
So someone in JLD has a suggestion to summon someone from the Infinite Realms who might be able to help them locate Phantom (or maybe summon Phantom himself since he's technically the Ghost King.)
If we go with summoning someone other than Phantom, they manage to summon Jazz (whose acting as Queen Regent at the moment since Danny went missing)
And the moment he see's Jazz, Jason Danny feels his head and soul start to hurt. And memories he's sometimes see's in his dreams start bubbling into the surface.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny is Jason AU#He got deaged due to Vlad to babyhood#and got dropped into Gotham/DCverse during a fight between Vlad and Team Phantom#Lived his life as Jason#and when he died it felt familiar#being a halfa is why he returned to life#his ghost powers are at the surface but due to not knowing how to use them they arent used#his Pit Rage is a little bit of his Halfa side angry at not being used in so long#and its why the Pit stays in him because its attached to his ghost core. Which Jazz is totally going to drag him to Frostbite to get fixed.#either he gets summoned or they summon Jazz#One of those two#If he gets summoned he's very very confused#but uses the All Blades that become ice with stars and galaxies inside it and even more powerful than before#If Jazz is summoned she see's him and knows its Danny#I can see her reach out to cup his face and calls him her baby brother and thats she's so happy to see him again#The batfam have so MANY questions#Bruce is losing it under his cowl because WTF. He doesn't wanna lose his son again.
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the theerapanyakul kids: how close are you with each other?
loan’s kinnporsche 2nd anniversary: favourite familial relationship: the theerapanyakul kids (insp: ½+½)
#kpanniversary2024#vegas theerapanyakul#macau theerapanyakul#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#tankhun theerapanyakul#kim theerapanyakul#kinn theerapanyakul#kp2anniversary#kpts#kp#loan.blr#loan.gif#loan.kp#yes this is also minor family focused (with a dash of kinnvegas fascination). that is thanks to who i am as a person.#in all honesty kinnvegas and vegasmacau are my fav platonic relationships of the shows. both so scrunchy!#imagine if you will that its macau recounting all the relationships. cause obviously vegas has a much more complicated relationship to him#that macau would perceive. but then again macau prolly sees some of the shit vegas has to shoulder for him.#but to macau vegas will always be his bestest friend.#this post is very deep if you think about it (i say. lying.)#im kidding ofc but i do kinda like the concept. you could argue with certain assessment of mine but generally the categories felt fitting#anyways. this is late but if im correct its allowed and im doing this thing where im being patient with myself.#also this is my second proper gifset and i dont think i get coloring. i vaguely understand what should happen but like.#i dont think i see what i should. i dont get colors. so these are just. idk. hopefully just a tad more vibrant and not too off color.#so. is this good? not really. but im practicing gif making! and i only get confused by ps like once an hour.
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Happy (late) FFXV 8th anniversary!! I felt WONDROUSLY enabled by This post to post a bunch of Old FFXV art I've never posted before (at least not that I remember) All of this stuff is several years old now, I made a lot of my FFXV art in the range between 2019-2021, but I'm genuinely still very proud of all of these. Goes to show how feelings change, cause I remember a time when I was embarrassed/ashamed of many of them, but now I just see how much effort I put into all of them :) I actually have so much that this is going to be post (1/2) HA! Happy Anniversary everybody, remember to walk tall. <3
[No Romance Included] Here's a link to post Number 2 if anybody wants to see that!
#Final Fantasy XV#Final fantasy 15#ffxv#ff15#Final fantasy XV spoilers#final fantasy 15 spoilers#Insertsomthinawesome#December2024#Isa's fanart#Ignis Scientia#Gladiolus Amiticia#Prompto argentum#Noctis Lucis Caelum#Aranea Highwind#Ardyn izunia#Body horror#For ringnis and Ardyn#Injury#Its genuinely cool and surprising to see how much ffxv art I have lying around that i never posted#in one part its also sad because I know my own lack of self confidence and also a lot of nasty anxiety kept me from sharing it#but its cool now because i'm getting to fullfill the wishes and dreams of me from 5-3 years ago :)#That very first one does such a good job of conveying how i felt after playing episode ignis too. And i love how it captures that feeling#(if its not obvious ignis was my favorite HAHAHAHA)#A little redemption AU ardyn in here as well for those confused!#And a fantasy Au that i didn't do much with. but i had a lot of fun with what i did do :)#ignis FFXV#prompto FFXV#Gladio FFXV#Aranea FFXV#Noctis FFXV
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I feel like that episode was missing at least five minutes worth of story at the end because they're hiding something they want to explore next week. They just don't want to reveal it now.
#it feels very rushed#but in a deliberate way#they want us to be confused and feeling like something is going on here#they want you going what???????#which I don't hate#but also the episode felt too short#but it has a different feel than something that was rushed for no reason#i think they could have actually made it better by making the earlier part of the episode in the cabin longer#so that the episode itself doesn't feel rushed#but by the end you have a lot of questions#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers
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@jegulus-microfic May 8 // prompt: silk // warnings: small hints to past nsfw // Words: 352
"Where are you going?"
James pauses at the door, face going pale and his hands admittedly start to sweat a little as he holds both the map and has the cloak draped over his arm. He slowly turns to Sirius. Oh his best friend, Padfoot, one of his favorite people on Earth.
"Out. Talking a walk. Can't sleep." His response is clipped and he's fidgeting where he stands, shifty and he knows it because he also knows he can't lie for shit. Especially not to Pads.
But he has plans. Plans with a wonderful boy who has grey eyes and soft skin and silk sheets and makes such pretty noises underneath him.
Who also just so happens to be Sirius' estranged brother. Sirius who, despite their distance, is still really over protective when it comes to said estranged brother.
Sirius squints at him for a few seconds and James has the urge to run but Padfoot just shrugs. James doesn't hesitate before he's out the door, sloppily throwing the cloak over himself and pulling out the map, muttering the password as he speed walks down the halls. He can't help but smile as he catches the name Regulus A. Black. They're not anything, no labels (or at least not yet), but that doesn't stop James' heart from beating quickly as he thinks about freckles that decorate pale skin. The blush on his features that will hopefully only get worse and worse throughout the night.
He thinks about the bruise-able skin and how Regulus' hair sticks to his skin when wet or sweaty.
James slips upstairs and takes a turn before opening a door. He sees Regulus startle and as soon as it's closed James pulls off the cloak.
Only seconds after that there's soft lips pressing against his own and he can't help but groan at the feeling. He pulls back slightly, turning his head when Regulus follows which instead causes the younger to kiss at his neck.
"Hello, love." He already sounds slightly out of it, "Missed me?"
Regulus nods slightly as he peppers more kisses against his skin.
"Missed you."
#idkkk i felt like i should try my hand at this#might do more idk#expand my reaches to the rosekiller and moonwater microfic accounts#i miss read the promot at first as slick and I was very confused#.twrites#marauders era#marauders#harry potter#dead gay wizards#dead wizards from the 70s#hp marauders#regulus black#james potter#black brothers#jegulus#sunseeker#starchaser#james x regulus#james loves regulus#regulus x james#james fleamont potter
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Did I accidently write more than just a few lines of dialogue for this scene?... *shyly fumbling with fingers* 🥹👉👈 maybe...
Sorry, I suck at words and this isn't betaread nor properly proofread and I am not native english, I'm very sorry in advance...
full story down below
(Chappel Roan - Love me Anyway)
(Benson Boone - Slow it Down)
"VICE-CAPTAIN!!!!"
The tiny moving plush-like thing in his hand apparently started screaming as well now.
"WHY ALWAYS MEEE!?!?"
What looked like the chibi mini-version of the Defence Force's biggest trump card, struggled to hold on his thumb, kicking around those little feet of his.
"Well, now I'm quite curious abut THAT story..."
"I CAN'T TURN BACK AND I AM T I N Y !!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )"
"I see that... How'd you even get in here?"
Tiny #8 stopped fidgeting a bit. Instead two unproportionally big round dark eyes goggled at him. It was undeniably adorable to look at. "Well after THIS happened, I couldn't grab my phone on the table anymore, so I ran around to find someone, but I figured Narumi and Kikoru would very likely take advantage of my situation and do something stupid with me."
"Oh yeah, they definitely would and I get why, honestly."
"So I ran around to find you, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BIG THE 1st DIVISION IS, WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS, OK?! And then I saw the slightly opened window and just crawled in... ༼☯﹏☯༽"
"Wait... you know where my temporary place in the 1st Division is located? Why?"
"....Coincidence? (*゚ー゚) "
He sighed. "Well just when you think you saw everything...Kafka Hibino enters the stage..."
"SIR, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? WHY ARE THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME??"
"you really want me to answer that, bud?", he barely tried to hide the undertone of his voice, which left the small creature on the palm of his hand baffled for a second.
"Wha-? HEY, MEAN!! What are you on about!?"(>д<)
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know STOP CHANGING in general, like I told you f.ex.. or maybe stick to your training routine without going OVERBOARD on a regular basis? How 'bout that?"
The big dark round eyes got even bigger with every word spoken.
"Yeah, don't look at me like that, I might coincidently got wind of stuff, you know?"
His unexpectedly open and emotional response threw Kafka off. For a second he forgot about his *tiny* main problem, his mind jumped between confused and worried and he couldn't comprehend with his reaction for now. After some awkward seconds in silence, Hoshina's tone grew significantly calmer, but still sort of off to his usual self-assured expression. "Well at least this time you're actually telling me about stuff that bothers you, huh?"
Silence again. While hanging from the palm of his Vice-Captain's hand Kafka realized something (besides his size) was different. His senses grew more aware of his surroundings to find answers.
"Are... are you drunk, sir?"
Besides the slight scent of alcohol in the air, and the - well quite obvious - bottle of sake on the table, the startled twitch on his face confirmed Kafka's guess was right. Other than the sake the only other thing on the table were some snacks. Another odd thing to Kafka, who was used to see Hoshina's surroundings stuffed with documents, loose papers, books and other work related things.
The silence lingered around them uncomfortably. To Kafka's suprise Hoshina was seemingly struggling with words. A look on his face Kafka couldn't remember seeing before. Now his mind definitely jumped to 'worried'.
Hoshina tried to mimic an insulted face and looked away. "A little tippsy at most... I'm off-duty for tonight.." Besides the slightly blushed nose and cheeks, Kafka now noticed some dark circles under red eyes. "..and despite my gut telling me better, I assumed I probably won't be needed anymore today, and that I could hang loose a little. It's not my Division after all, there's another Captain and Vice-Captain in charge here. So I might as well make use of that chance... Should have known, it would end up that way or another.. " He smiled a bit and Kafkas felt like his heart clenching from the sight. "Although I definitely should have placed my bet on YOU to be the reason for that." He chuckled lightly, while his expressions grew somewhat softer.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
"Nah, it's fine. As if I didn't get used to your-"
"I never put much thought to it, but ever since the Defence Force started preparing for the big counter attack on #9 your workload must've at least doubled in the 3rd and 1st Division.. and here I am still taking over the rest of your time as well..."
"Don't like where this is going, officer... You're not starting pitying me, are ya?"
"No I-...I just feel like.. I didn't realize, and there for not appreciated your work enough.." Silence. "And also.." The tiny kaiju had his look glued to the floor in front of him for a while now. "I know you told me to brush it off earlier but,... I truly regret ... not telling you about... #8 n'stuff.. I'm sorry... I'd change that if I could.."
A small plushy-sized Kaiju was gently put back on the ground again. Hoshina scratched his nose for a second, before bending far back to the other side of the room. He grabbed for his smartphone that was burried in piles of carelessly pushed aside documents.
"As I said. You're here now, aren't ya?" When he got his phone he chose to stay laid down on the floor and started typing something on the lightened screen.
A tiny transformed Kafka carefully made his way around and walked up on eye-level with Hoshina's face again. Once again overwhelmed by his current state of being, he let himself fall back on the floor and sat on the ground. "So... what should I do?"
"The first thing WE do is trying to make some calls. But since you seem to be in no life-threatening condition, we might have to wait 'till tomorrow for a first medical examination. If that's the case you'll stay, and I get you down to the lab first thing in the morning."
"Wait!" The tiny Kaiju made a suprisingly far jump right up to Hoshina's chest and pressed the (for him very big) red hang-up button on the screen with both paws. "You're right about that, I won't die this second from being tiny, so we might as well wait for tomorrow."
The questioning look on the opposite's face made a tiny Kafka look away and scratch his neck shyly. "Well, since you're ... I dunno,... I feel like, I can't have you be seen d-dru- .. like this by other officials of the 1st Division, b-because of me..."
A finger poked his forehead, which caused a tiny being like him to fall right back landing on warm soft fabric of Hoshina's shirt.
"Idiot. But you might be right about that."
#kn8#kaiju no 8#fanart#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#kafhoshi#kafhoshi pls come and calm my mind#I don't know why but I get a thing out of slightly fed up Hoshina.. he would never actually be pissed at kafka tho#but I always thought like.. boy this man can't have that much energy / caffeine for all the stuff he is responsible for at#and I love storylines that could theoretically fit into canon#went through my pile of shame aka. WIPs I abandoned#tried working on some and failed#sticked to this one then.#mediocre happy with both text and fanart#guess its because of my mood tho#I had some weird days I tell ya...#ADHD problems all the way#like i broke a piece of my tooth AND my car lol the irony#there would be days I'll handle these things better but I'm very much ignoring my problems rn#my dad felt the need to help out his “little girl” once more and took care of the car for me#I'm really thankful for it but at the same time I feel horrible 'cause I'm like 31 ;_; I should handle my own sht rn n I feel like I can't#also my HAND is ITCHING for DAYS#these are the most unreasonable and confusing tags right here sry#I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a few months looking back at it (´◡`)#icy's art
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Rhys Darby on the ending of season 2
#he is essentially saying what i thought immediately when i first watched the episode lmao#i was so confused by people saying it felt like the show ended or going “aww happy ending for them!” it feels very temporary tbh#interview#ofmd#ofmd s2#rhys darby#really liked this interview!! good questions about the show and his character#so happy he seems to be doing a lot of interviews about it these days#he finally gets to talk about it
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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esteban ocon in the media pen on friday
via formula1.com
#'straight away i felt very comfortable with the car' yesterday to 'balance is better but i don't get it' today#confused as hell but hope esteban could find that confidence back during the race tomorrow#if not that's alright too i guess with only four races left with the car and the team#esteban ocon#f1#mexico 2024
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happy friday! here is a little bbts chapter 5 proof of life
When Tim comes down again his mouth is full of blood—bitten cheek���and his whole head throbs, an almost fizzy numbness flooding through his jaw in the sudden absence of pain. He struggles through another wheezing breath, wincing at the familiar sensation of torn muscles around his rib cage. “Ah,” Checkered Shirt is saying. “There does seem to be a localized paralytic effect. That last placement may have been counterintuitive; my mistake. But as we discussed, that’s the beauty of mistakes in a setting like this. The opportunity to learn from them.” Tim tips his head. Clumsily spits a mouthful of blood on the metal floor—evidence, he thinks hazily, if he moves me—and finds his tongue. “Funny how you still haven’t gotten what you want,” he half-slurs, “considering how many opportunities you keep having.”
#also today i drafted the official Moment of Realization and i am very excited#i've known roughly how & when it happens since i started the fic but finally got down to the details. peak fic writing feeling right there#anyway i keep wanting to share bits from this chapter as i write! and then feeling silly#also there's not much filler in this chapter so every snippet i've wanted to share felt too revealing or too confusing out of context#i'm a slow writer but it's going. it's going. they are suffering#my fic
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why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍
i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.
but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!
otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.
sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.
but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.
“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”
(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)
except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“
this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—
“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”
um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.
otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going
and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.
otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33
and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"
also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.
but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.
and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!
but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.
and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.
and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.
otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:
theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.
but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!
and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.
anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.
youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.
and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.
yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍
but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.
because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".
because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.
#this is an impromptu ramble post i made again while taking a break from homework alsjdflsd but yeah ive been seeing people Still being#confused about this over on reddit so i felt like typing smth up about it just to try and figure this topic out!!! bc you think the emilia#camp would be voting up like roswaal as their most dangerous member right??? but no!! its canonically otto!! which is very fascinating hah.#and it genuinely doesnt make sense at first until you think about it for. a While.#re:zero#rezero#arc 8 spoilers#otto suwen#natsuki subaru#roswaal l mathers#did i write this just for that last line of this post?? maybe....
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Mel haters are so funny to me because they quite literally have nothing to say against her besides "nooo she used Jayce for hextech!!" well, it's what happens when that's your fucking job
#also people do not know how to read#like my guy snapped at her bc he was confused and felt lonely and betrayed#and i don't think she used him in any way lmao the feelings were pretty much real but#but people forget there is a very very very blurry line when work and love get together#despite their love mel had her responsibilities and she is a politician after all#it is normal for jayce to feel betrayed and confused when they never fucking talk these things out i swear to god#their situationship is the clear consensual workplace relationship but angstier and worse and used as a metaphor for politics#'he was sunshine i was midnight rain' or something like that#their whole thing is so messy but they kinda did unconsciously use each other for their own reasons despite real love also being there#both things can coexist btw it seems like gray relationships and dynamics aren't a thing in fandoms or????#anyway mel if jayce don't want you i do i do i do i volunteer#arcane#mel medarda
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