#but i digress before i get sad
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clockwork-carstairs · 9 months ago
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Remember when Tessa and Jem were in the carriage on the way back from the battle at the start of clockwork princess? And Tessa’s worrying over Jem bec he’s injured and weak, and he lightly holds her wrist and smiles and gently says your pulse is quickening and Tessa says, “I love you.” And it’s just such a tender and moving moment because they’ve both got their hearts on their SLEEVES for each other. Jessa were always so romantic.
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wanted to try my hand at a fake screenshot thing with a scene from one of the bttf fics of all time, Time Is a Flat Circle by @fourth-dimensional-thinker! i set in to draw only the "little canary" line but. as you can tell. my hand slipped and fell down a 6 story building
if you haven't read it already please check it out PLEASEEE it's very good. i read the whole thing in basically one sitting. the vibes are perfect for the spooky season too!
versions without the filter/subtitles under the cut:
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kickbutts-singsongs · 8 months ago
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YOU LIKE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!
what is your favourite song omgomg
OMG DONT MAKE ME CHOOOOOOOOOOSE
Obvi the title song slaps, All I Ask of You is so sweet, Think of Me makes me jealous of sopranos cuz I can’t sing all the high notes, Prima Donna is fun, Music of the Night uhh did things to me lol, Angel of Music is so soothing, and Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again made me tear up a bit.
I can’t narrow it down to just one, so imma say my top three are:
Music of the Night (especiallyyyyy the Ramin Karimloo version from the 25th anniversary)
Phantom of the Opera (nuff said)
and Point of No Return (the movie version)
It’s so good to see a fellow Phan!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩
#I was absolutely infatuated with The Phantom after I watched the movie (three times in a row)#I mean he checked all my boxes#aesthetic? check!#musical talent? check!#lives in a place with secret passageways? double check!#but then I had a dream where The Phantom was revealed to be my father and I think my brain was tryna tell me smth 💀💀💀#phantom of the opera#poto#man I was totally obsessed with this musical I even got to see it on Broadway before it closed!#I made an entire spreadsheet analysis on the different melodies and where they were used and what they meant#you know there’s one melody that always plays after the Phantom does or is mentioned to have done smth crazy or amazing#but then someone says or does smth that really just reminds the audience that the Phantom is not a demon or an Angel#he’s a human#I called the melody ‘true colors’ cuz idk what else to call it lol#it doesn’t have its own song it’s just used in spurts#its used after Erik gets after Christine for taking off his mask and Christine hands it back to him#(and we see him go from anger to vulnerability and then it plays)#and again in the preamble to All I Ask Of You when Christine goes#‘yet in his eyes / all the sadness of the world / those pleading eyes / that both threaten and adore’#(and we see Christine go from ‘he’s scary’ to ‘he’s wonderful’ to ‘oh u know what he’s sad and lonely’)#and more but I digress#anyways sorry that was a rant but I don’t really want to delete all that so there u go 😅#asks#Thanks for reaching out!! ❤️❤️❤️
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hungriesttable · 11 months ago
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this post is MY “oh man…this doin numbers”. while I have you all here anyone want to hear my thoughts on Out(interrupted by loud foghorn, signaling the breach of an abnormality)
(for those of you interested in hearing some of my Outis thoughts, check the tags. for those not, go in peace 🙏)
one of my favorite things about Dante Limbus Company is that they achieve a level of what I will call “sogginess” rarely seen in the wild (source material), more commonly seen in captivity (fanfiction)…
The insecurity. The inability to understand that they have a positive impact on others without being told outright. The sad, resigned self-deprecation. “I know it’s the same tired old face for you…but here I am” when you re-select them as an announcer (a line which you are literally incapable of seeing during gameplay). The “you guys only love me for my clock 😞” mentality.
Dante wouldn’t ask, “would you still love me if I were a worm?”, because they’d be afraid of a resounding NO.
Not to say Dante doesn’t have their satisfying moments of asserting themselves as manager, but man. What a creature
#I’ve seen people saying that her military mindset gets old after a while#and because of that she’s not that appealing to them#which in theory I get. I think that’s how I feel about Faust a lot of the time#(ie I feel like I see less of her being lame/soggy than the other sinners. but maybe I’m just not paying enough attention)#(but I digress)#BUT I feel like Outis is pretty interesting because a) I have to speculate a lot and b) she does seem pretty lame (positive) in her interact#ions with other sinners#or even the one with Dongrang in Canto IV#her being exceptionally dejected when she can’t play the role of captain in Canto V#whether or not that’s an act it is so fascinating that she got all slumpy and sad before leaving#for all the things she’s said to disparage the abilities of other sinners she did seem somewhat put out about not having their respect#not to mention the Sunshower awakening and corrosion lines.#-> I don’t need…any pointless attention! vs Don’t leave me alone this time (I don’t remember the corrosion verbatim unfortunately)#(but still. my soggy old woman in a fox raincoat)#I think that Outis�� unctuous-ness towards Dante seems like the focal point of their relationship to a lot of people#but even what she says to them in Canto V makes me wonder#is there an extent to which she sympathizes with them?#I mean in Canto IV we see that she doesn’t think especially highly of their abilities#but is there some respect in which she sees them as a legitimate authority figure?#of course with G Corp Outis’ experience of being scapegoated one assumes she has some degree of skepticism towards military hierarchies#I just think it’s also interesting to consider that-#-in addition to just currying favor with her boss she is performing what she sees as her role (supporting her superior)#I don’t even know if this is something super obvious that everyone already agrees on#but local man got a lot of notes for saying things so now he feels like saying things. In Tags#outis lcb#the fact that the Outis canto will be towards the end of the game…stares with my huge orbs#although if Rodya Gregor and Sinclair do actually get elaborated on#maybe Outis won’t get her canto at the End of the game’s lifetime#ok I’m about to discuss how I don’t know how gacha games work#so I think it’s time to stop
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greenconverses · 1 month ago
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As I've mentioned a few times times, one of the actual interesting things Riordan is doing in this new series is mentioning Percy's obvious rage issues and then not actually doing anything with it other than making Percy swallow the anger down so he stays Nice and Controlled at all times.
Which, if we were dealing with pre-Disney+ show deal RR, could be a great character arc over the course of the series where Percy learns to actually deal with his anger and trauma while he's actively being triggered by petty godly bullshit. But Wrath made it pretty clear he's okay with letting Percy eat shit emotionally as long as everyone is one big happy team in the end and we're Therapy Speaking ourselves into the sunset, so I don't think that's happening.
Wrath sets up a conflict between Grover and Percy that's pretty simple: Grover eats a magical thing he's specifically told not eat and causes chaos that puts Percy's quest at risk. Reminder, these stupid quests are so Percy can get into college and Grover knows this. Percy gets angry at Grover; so angry Annabeth can see it and shoos him out of the room so he doesn't explode. And then he just... tries to stop being angry, assumes Grover means well, and carries on pretending it's not Grover's fault while being resentful because it's totally Grover's fucking fault.
Eventually, we get a scene where Grover attempts to make things right by putting himself into danger and Percy freaks out because, duh, he doesn't want his friends to get hurt. Grover then attempts to apologize by admitting he maybe sorta kinda subconsciously wanted to sabotage things. And it's here where we run in to trouble.
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Please notice that Percy immediately tries to reassure him that he's not responsible despite Grover acknowledging it. Then we get the good ol' Grover tears and looking like a poor bullied baby before he confesses to sabotaging his best friend's quest because he doesn't want to be left behind. And with that, all of Percy's anger is gone because how can you be mad at your friend for that?
Uh, pretty fucking easy, especially if my idiot satyr friend knows exactly what the consequences of failing the quest is (forget the college letters; Percy is under the assumption that Hecate will unmake him if he fucks up) AND said idiot frequently has gone MONTHS without seeing me because of his job and, in fact, several months from now will be halfway across the country anyway helping Apollo with some different quest bullshit!!!!
I digress.
Suddenly, Percy is the bad guy for being mad at Grover. And this continues with the next part of the conversation.
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How hard it's been on him?????
Percy Jackson, you are constantly blowing literal gaskets because of the stress you are under, and you're worried about how hard college applications has been on GROVER???????
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"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
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like
are you kidding me here rick
are you FUCKING kidding me
PERCY needs to APOLOGIZE to GROVER for PRIORITIZING COLLEGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And then Grover makes a joke about Percy's shitty gpa because dunking on Percy in an emotional conversation is totally fine because his emotions don't actually matter to any of his friends. He'll get over it! He's Percy, duh. He's not a ticking time bomb of resentment full of grudges whatsoever.
I think we're supposed to see this as Percy maturing and being forgiving, but is he? He doesn't tell Grover he forgives him. Percy's the one apologizing in the end because he's been guilted into feeling bad that Grover is sad/upset and put himself in danger. The conflict doesn't actually get resolved because Percy brushes it aside; it doesn't matter any more because Grover is sad and must be reassured. No one's going to learn anything from this because there have been no consequences. Grover's gonna do some dumb shit again, Percy's gonna get mad at him, Grover will cry and make up a sad sack excuse, and Percy will stop being angry because Grover's his bestie and what else is he supposed to do?
(This could be a good character arc about how Percy's fatal flaw makes him have a really messed up view of friendships and the meaning of loyalty, but again, we will be denied.)
And for the record, just because your friends have compelling reasons for their shitty actions doesn't make them any less shitty. It doesn't mean they shouldn't apologize for their fuck ups or negate the hurt they caused you. Forgiveness needs to be earned, not manipulated out of you through tears and reckless actions.
Grover can get fucked. I hate this fucking character.
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hhonghu · 2 years ago
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Love me harder!
;; sex obsessed!sub!kabukimono x reader
cw: innocent to sex crazed kabukimono, established relationship, probably ooc kabukimono, rough sex, lovemaking (??), doggy style, humping, grinding, nipple play, cumming inside, implied small dick kabukimono, sex addiction, begging, desperate kabukimono, corrupting kabukimono, anal fingering, squirting, overstimulation, implied marathon sex, reader has a dick
i definitely can do wholesome and romantic too!! i can hold back on making smut!! (no i cannot) this post is proof!! lol anyways this might be my longest piece yet, wonder if demons took over me or smth. i'll start exploring new writing formats too and improve after this bc this seems messy and i feel like it doesn't feel readable to some readers, so i apologize for that! ;; but i digress, sigh,, corrupting kabukimono is a fun experience though! now you have turned a innocent boy into a needy, sex obsessed boy who wants the love and pleasure you give to him only! enjoy reading! let me know if i missed anything! ^^ taglist (??): @lemonlimesocks @havenmoodz
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innocent!kabukimono who's captivated by you. you were introduced to him by niwa and you greet him with a smile, you're voice sounding like honey to his ears. who are you? "hello, i'm [name], a friend of niwa. nice to meet you." you raised your hand for him to shake. innocent!kabukimono who shyly shakes your hand, "it's nice to meet you too, i'm kabukimono.", "kabukimono? what a pretty name, it suits you well." his eyes light up, looking directly at yours as he smiles, cheeks flushing while muttering a small thank you. innocent!kabukimono who stares at you as you talk to niwa, having to excuse yourself now because you still had tasks to do. he perks up, were you leaving already? his face bared a sad expression, he didn't get to talk to you more. he.. he wanted to hear more of your voice. he has a strange feeling somewhere in his chest, he doesn't know what it is but he.. likes it. he sees you wave goodbye to him and niwa shouting that you'll come and see them some other time. he is definitely look forward to it.
innocent!kabukimono whos taking his lunch under a yumemiru tree, munching down an onigiri as he takes in the beautiful scenery before him. pink leaves fall down the tree and flying away with the wind or falling down to the ground and he sighs in content, it was peaceful. "kabukimono?" his breath hitches, it was you. it was your voice. he turns his head around and he sees you standing next to him, "so it is you. i noticed your veil from the road. what are you doing here?", "i—i'm eating my lunch here." kabukimono stammers. you smile at him and nod, "then mind if i join you as you eat?". innocent!kabukimono who nods eagerly and moved a bit to give you space to sit next to him. as you sat down and lean against the tree, he felt his cheeks warm up. "so, what are you eating for lunch?", you stretch your arms and fold them beneath your head. "i'm having some shio sake onigiri, if you'd like you can have some." kabukimono offers, hand already lending you one, "i made them myself.". you smile, "you sure? i wouldn't want to eat your lunch." you grin, "thanks for the offer though.". kabukimono shakes his hand, "no really, you can have some! i have enough for two people." you sigh and finally nod, "alright, if you say so.". he smiles, unwraps the onigiri and hands it to you. you lean in closer to him, muttering "thank you for the food," and taking a bite of the onigiri. innocent!kabukimono whos eyes widens as you pull away and chew away. you were so close to him! his could feel that feeling in his chest again, it was pounding. "mmm, this onigiri you made is pretty good!", "i'm g-glad you think so!" he stammers — he looks down at the bitten onigiri and then back at you. "would like.. more?"
innocent!kabukimono whos face flushes when you're around. every time you visit the workshop, you would come up to talk to him. you would ask how his day was or was he tired. you even ask him to come take a break from forging, winking that niwa won't know he was gone. innocent!kabukimono who swoon when you come by and give him little gifts; "i saw this sakura bloom by road and thought of giving to you, it goes well with your pretty hair and veil.", "there was sale at the food stall and it was unagi chazuke! i couldn't help buying some for you too, the deal was pretty good. be careful, the bowl is hot.", "here's a small lunch box i made! you can put the food you make here. and if you're feeling generous, you can give some for me too.". innocent!kabukimono who cherishes the gifts you give him. it makes the feeling in his chest flutter when what you do, you think of him. niwa will even tease him, asking in a sing-song voice "oohh, who's the the lucky fellow? got you smiling like that." kabukimono will just shush him and wave him away, going back to adore the little gifts you've given him.
innocent!kabukimono who couldn't help but think of you even while doing something! not once do you not cross his mind, it's as if you are there with him. from time to time he would space out; your eyes, your hair, your lips. you cloud his mind, it almost frustrates him. why is it that you haunt him? every time niwa approaches him, his eyes searches for you behind him. every time he makes food, he thinks if you will compliment him that how good he made it. innocent!kabukimono wanted know what he is feeling that you're making him feel. the feeling in his chest that he's come to like, all because of you.
innocent!kabukimono who brought it up to you one day while you took him out to eat dango under his favorite spot by the yumemiru. he tugged on your sleeve, "[name]? can i ask you something?". he looked.. conflicted, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a slight frown. you nodded and faced him, "what's up?" you've never seen him so serious, so you wondered what is on his mind. "[name], i've been having this strange feeling in my chest. every time you're around me, every time we talk, every time you're in my mind, i feel it. you make my body feel this warmth and i do not know what it is, but i like it, it makes me feel happy and.. alive when i'm with you. but i'm scared.. i do not know this feeling, i do not know if it is good or bad, [name]." his hold on your sleeve tightens and his eyes becomes glossy, lips starting to quiver. as for you, you were taken aback and your eyes widened in realization. strange feeling in his chest? warmth? he... he basically confessed to you! you cheeks felt warm as you comprehend what he just said — no words coming your mouth as you stare at him in awe. innocent!kabukimono who felt as if he was going to cry. why are you staring at him like that? it's making him nervous. did he say something wrong? he knew it, he shouldn't have said that. before you could say something, a stray tear slides down his cheek. "[n-name].. i — i didn't mean to upset you! please.. please forgive me..." you quickly raised your hand as you snap out of your trance to cup his cheek and swipe away the fallen tear with your thumb. "oh, kabukimono. i'll never be upset with you. shh shh.. it's okay, it's okay." you coo at him, watching as he melts on your hand, eyes glistening with tears threatening to spill out. "kabukimono, what you just told me.." you swallow, "— is a feeling called love. it seems that you were feeling the same way as i am.". kabukimono perks up, what do you he was feeling the same as you do? were you feeling the same thing that was in his chest? was it that love you speak of? you tuck a stray hair behind his ear and smile softly, "kabukimono, will you listen to me? i think this would be the best time to tell you.." your eyes searches an answer in his and he nods. "i am absolutely enamored by you. i feel the same warmth in chest when you are with me. your eyes, your face, you smile.. it makes my heart swell. you are prettiest boy i've ever met and i'm glad i've met you.". innocent!kabukimono whos eyes spills tears one after the other, eyes widening at your confession. and then he giggles before full on laughing — you were stunned, you thought you were about to be laughed at until he feel his arms around your neck and hug you tightly. "[name], [name], [name]... you do not know how much you've made me happy hearing you say those words.."
innocent!kabukimono who was now officially your lover! words cannot describe the happiness when you two agreed to finally be together after that confession under the tree. now you affections have increased to him by tenfold! your visits the workshop becomes more frequent to come and see him, you buy him more things (you even bought him an expensive tea set which made trip and fall over when you said the price lmao), and gladly eat the food he learned to make just for you. even niwa would scold you with a broom, "let kabukimono work and go back to your own work!" and try and chase you out. as you run out with niwa on your tail, you turn your head back and shout out "i love you, darling! work hard! i'll come by again!", "like hell you will!". kabukimono who laughs and waves as he watches your figures run around — he was so in love with you.
innocent!kabukimono who begins to feel something other than love. you two have finally gotten used to physical touch; hugging, holding hands, even sleeping next to one another (you got a slipper thrown at you by niwa when he found out you "stole" kabukimono at the dead of night just to sleep with you lmaoao). and when you two shared your first kiss, he felt as he was floating in clouds. your lips were soft against his and the kiss was soft too, making him melt into your hold. when you pulled away you swore you could've seen hearts in his eyes, "did you like it?" you asked. he nods eagerly, "i enjoyed it.." he pulls on your collar, bringing you forward, your lips touching again. "... please, kiss me more, [name].."
innocent!kabukimono who feels something in him when you touch him. he could feel something in his stomach burning when you touch his waist and caress it as you talk about your day, making him unable concentrate. your touch feels warm even if your hand is on his clothes, he couldn't make sense what's happening to his body. it's almost as if he wanted more.
innocent!kabukimono whos preparing a simple meal for you while you went out for a while. when he was reaching out for a small bowl across the table a little too far away from his reach, he squeals as he felt something good from the corner of the table that put pressure on his poor cock. he pulled himself away, unsure what just happened. what was that he just felt? he felt something when he.. accidentally rubbed himself on the corner of the table. he contemplated and curiosity got the best of him, deciding to go back to the edge of the table. his hands grip the table and positioned himself — he's unsure on what to do but he wanted to recreate that feeling again. innocent!kabukimono who slightly rolls his hips, testing the waters. his grip on the table tightens as he felt the small sensation of pleasure zip through his body making him squeal out in surprise. ah, so there it is. he bites his lips and tries again and he swears he feel his legs about to give up. it feels so good. the table creaks as he begins to pick up his pace, soft, lewd sounds escaping his mouth. but he couldn't quite reach it. he chasing something he doesn't know, he can feel it but but can't get there. innocent!kabukimono who didn't notice you arrive. you walked in him with his back facing you humping the edge of the table. you lean on the kitchen entrace, watching him intently as he nimbly thrusts his hips. kabukimono lets out a garbled noise of frustration, hips coming to stop as his catches his breath, body shaking. you smirk, he can't cum. poor kabukimono, shaking because he can't cum. but don't worry! now you're here to lend him a hand.
innocent!kabukimono who gasps as he feels hands wrap around his waist and a head bury and his shoulder, "what are you doing, darling?". he lets his hands let go of the table and grab your arms around him, shakily cluthcing your arm. he feels ashamed! he can't believe you've seen him like this when he was supposed to be preparing your meal. "[na-name]! it's not.. it's not what you think!" he tries to explain himself but no words come after, shame and embarrassment really starting to take over him. you chuckle, lifting your head and whisper right into his ear, "it's alright, don't fret." he relaxes a little in your hold but still tense, turning his face away from you. "so, what were you doing? you can tell me, kabukimono. i won't be upset." you nuzzle back into his neck, trying to coax him to talk. "i don't.. i don't know.. i was trying to reach for a bowl across the table but then.. then i felt something when i bumped on the corner of the table.. i really liked it.. it felt good.. so i wanted to feel it again.." he cuts himself off as a hiccup leaves his mouth. you coo at him, so he was just humping the table because he accidentally stimulated himself? how cute. "aww and how did it go? i heard you cry out, darling." he lets out a breath, you can see from an angle of his eyebrows furrowing. "i felt it again.. but, i can't reach it..", "hm? reach what?", "i don't know.. i don't know. i just want it, [name]."
innocent!kabukimono who finally faces you, doe eyes looking up at you pleading, "please, [name].. please help me.." and something in you snapped. to hear him beg for you, bleary eyes asking you to help him cum.. oh, it just awakens the deepest parts in you. you lean down and kiss him while your hands drag itself down his body making him squirm. you whisper in his mouth to relax as you undo his pants and pulling it down, touching his poor cocklet, pre-cum already oozing out his tip. he grabs onto your bicep as he moans in your mouth, feeling you slowly stroke him. you pull away from the kiss and use your free hand to grab his chin and make him look down on your hand stroking him, "here, look at me stroking your pretty cock, darling. you have to watch because this is how you," you gently squeeze and he mewls, "— feel pleasure." innocent!kabukimono whos legs were shaking as he feels your stroke him, breath beginning to stagger as felt himself fall into satisfaction. "haaa, hhghk—! so good, so gooood.. please keep going, please..!". you kiss his neck, leaving a trail of marks and stroke him faster, watching as his body twists and turns in your hold, his mouth letting out the prettiest sounds. his grip on your clothes becomes tighter, his head leaning back on your shoulder as his hand scrambles to take your hand off his cock. "[name]— [name], wait! something ngh— something is gonna come out hngh—! [name], s-stop! i'm going to pee!" you didn't listen. you hand goes faster, rougher, squelching echoing in the kitchen accompanying kabuikmonos' moans. "[name], [name], [name]! it's coming ah, ah, ah— it's coming out!", "that's right, darling. go ahead, let it all out. cum all over my hand." and cums. hard. spurts of white leave his pretty cock as his eyes roll back and his body convulses, his orgasm washing over him. you slow down and closing to a stop, hand still wrapped around his cock as you listen to him catch his breath. you gently kiss his temple, "how do you feel, darling?" as you wait for his response, you feel him grind back against you and your eyes widen, "kabukimono?". you don't know what you've just done to him. poor, sweet kabukimonos' first taste of pleasure.. he wanted more.
innocent!kabukimono who gets carried to your bedroom and lied down softly on your bed. you lean down and pepper kisses on his face and you sigh in content, "what have i done to you, kabukimono?". you take his hand and kiss the back of it, "please tell me you want this as much as i do." kabukimono nods, he does! he wants to feel more closer to you, he wants to feel your skin on his, he just wants you. "say it, darling. i need to hear—", "yes! yes, please, [name]. let's become closer than ever, so please—" he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you closer, "touch me."
innocent!kabukimono who stuggles to keep his legs open, his pretty slick hole being bared to you. you stare at it as it clenches on nothing, it was so inviting. "be patient, darling." you tut, other hand grabbing his milky thigh to spread him further, making him whimper. kabukimono feels embarrassed, the way you stare at him so intensely, especially down there, makes him shiver. innocent!kabukimono who clenches around you when you put your tip inside him, teasing his hole. "relax, darling. you're too tense.." you hiss at the feeling. he's trying! he really is! the sensation is just so new to him, so he couldn't help it. a few second pass and he finally relaxes, nodding at you to slowly slide in. innocent!kabukimono whos eyes nearly crosses as you slowly push inside, his warm walls enveloping your cock. you breathed out a dazed sigh and not move, let him get used to you and relishing the feeling of him finally around you. kabukimono on the other hand, was seeing heaven. too good, too good, you made him feel too good. you were all the way inside him and he felt so full, your cock reaching the deepest part in him and you needed you to move now. "[name], hic— you can— you can move," his hands grab the sheets below him in anticipation as your hips begin to move, slowly thrusting in and out of him. innocent!kabukimono who cries out, eyes brimming with tears as you pick up your pace, pounding in his greedy hole. "ngh— oooh, god! [name], this— this feels so good♡! don't stop, don't stop, please!", "haah—! right there! please, keep ngh— doing that♡! keep oooh— hitting that spot!", "[name], [name, [name]..! hhngh♡♡!". innocent!kabukimono who feels the coil in stomach about to snap, his hands finding its way to your back and scratching it, making you groan. kabukomono arches his back, head moving further into the pillow as drill into him harder and feel him clench around you. you grin, "you're close, aren't you, darling?" you hit a certain spot in him making him squeal, "come on, answer me, darling." you press your tip against his prostate, drool slipping from the side of his mouth, "yesh— yes! keep unghhh—! keep going! please! go faster♡!" and who are you say no to your kabukimono? innocent!kabukimono who cums with a scream, eyes rolling back and his mouth hanging open as his cocklet spill out. you give a few last thrusts, grunting as you cum in him, filling him up. heavy breathing can be heard, both you catching your breaths. you reach out and cup his cheek, leaning down and kissing it. "such a good boy, darling. how are you feeling?" he looks up at and smiles, using the last of his strength to lift his head and kiss you back on your cheek. "you've made me feel so good, [name], thank you." it makes your heart swell, seeing him enjoy his first time with you. "but..." you perk up, seeing a shy expression on his face "[name], can.. we go one more time♡?"
oh, look what have you done to him.
poor innocent kabukimono.
you've ruined him.
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kabukimono loves you. he loves you so much.
just as much as he loves your dick.
you've completely ravaged him. ruined him.
so take responsibility, won't you?
sex obsessed!kabukimono who got addicted to you and sex. oh, look what have you done to him. after his first time with you, sex with has not left his mind even during work. it'd woken something in him; he starts to crave it it, yearn for it, needing it. he can't focus in his work, forging weapons seemingly becoming more disinterested, his mind solely on you. he wanted to feel pleasure again. the pleasure you gave him left him wanting more.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who seeks you out. he would leave the workshop, looking for you. niwa would ask him where he was going but he waved him away, it's nothing important, he says. but he knows he's lying, he knows because he's looking for you. poor kabukimono knocking on your door, please be here. please, you have to be here. and to his luck, you opened the door. "darling? what's wrong? i was just about—" you cut yourself off, the feeling of his lips on yours shutting you up. you kiss him back, grabbing his waist and pulling him inside, locking the door and slamming him against it. you pull away, "hm? now what's this? desperate now, are we?" you tease, looking down his as flushed face, "surely.. you came here because you missed me, right?". sex obsessed!kabukimono who can't deny what you said. he does miss you! he really does.. "or..", you lean down and whisper in his ear, "you missed my cock, don't you, kabukimono?" he whines. you laugh, reveling in the fact he does in fact, miss your cock. "please.. just.. just this once. i can't get enough, please.. i need your cock.." he grabs on your clothes and tug them, eyes pleading up at you. "you don't— you don't have to put it in me. use my mouth.. i— please, use my mouth♡."
sex obsessed!kabukimono who excuses both of you when having tea time with niwa, saying some sensible yet pathetic excuse. he drags you out the room all the while you're trying to hold back your laugh. sex obsessed!kabukimono who locks both of you inside an storage room filled with cargo boxes and pounces on you, roughly kissing you while you grab the back of his thighs to carry him. you carefully navigate the room and set him down a box, hands trailing down to his waist. you pull away as he sighs, a trail of saliva following your mouth, "strip off your shirt." and he does immediately, undoing until his chest is bare to you— his pink, perky nubs already hard and enticing to come and play with them. you contemplate whether to give in or let him suffer, just a bit. afterall, while niwa was distracted, kabukimono decided it would be nice to tease you a bit by pulling a bit of his shirt by the top, showing you his nipples. it definitely backfried.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who gives you a confused look when you switch places with him. you sat on the box and sit him down on your lap with his back on your chest. you settled you hands on his waist and your chin on his shoulder near his ear, making him breathe deeply. "i know what you want, darling. but that stunt you pulled back there? i'm not so sure." he hiccups, head turning to look at you. "bu-but..", "tsk, tsk. you know what you did." he pouts, a little hmph escaping his lips. sex obsessed!kabukimono who takes matters in his own hands, if you won't, then he will. his nimble fingers reach and touch his nubs, lightly touching it with the tips of his fingers. you watch intently, awestricken as he plays with his nipples without you. oh well, more for you. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos hips begin to grind back to you, a small bulge can be seen in his pants. he moans your name as he begins to twist and pull, his nipples becoming more sensitive and puffy— how cute. "hghh— [name].. [name]! i.. i can't! my nipples.. my nipples feels so good! its ngh—♡!", "[naaame].. it's so hghuk—! ah, ah, ah♡! so sensitive.. ughk—! i don't wanna stooop♡...". sex obsessed!kabukimono whos back arches he gives on last pinch to his nipples, legs shaking as he cums in his pants, lewd noises sighing out of his mouth. he limps back on you chest, catching his breath as body gives small jerks. he gasps as he feels you tear his hands away from his chest and replaces it with yours, your fingers pinching and twisting harshly making him cry out, hands searching for something to grab on to. "don't think you'll get out of this, darling." you tug more firmly on the oversensitive nubs and he arches his back, shouting out your name. "let's play with these more, yeah?".
(niwa did not hesitate to throw you both his slippers right at you once you came back with a debauched and disheveled kabukimono lol)
sex obsessed!kabukimono who invites you in his room, telling you that he was given a kotatsu table (for some reason)! as you enter his room, he's already settled in the table, his lower half covered by the table cover. he pats the free space next to him and offers you some snacks, smiling as you take your place beside him. you put your legs under the table, feeling the warmth radiating from under table. you two chat for a while, planning if kabukimono can meet with you a local food stand. as you talk about the food of the stand, you reach for the snacks on the table and in the corner of your eyes, kabukimono pulled back his legs out of the table, revealing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. sex obsessed!kabukimono turns to you and spreads his legs, showing you pretty wet hole. "sorry.. i can't help it.." he shyly, yet mischievously says. you chew your the snack and swallowed, then smile, reaching out and stretching his hole with your thumb. you watch as he clenches in anticipation, his thighs quivering. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos tongue lolls out his mouth, drool sliding the side of his mouth as your finger works his insides, thrusting in and out, reaching deep inside him. your pace was decent but to kabukimono, it wasn't enough. he grabbed the back of his thighs and pulled it back farther, making it almost reach his ears and he feels like he'll pass out. the angle made your fingers keep touching his prostate over and over again. "yesyesyes, keep going angh—! your fingers feel so good, [name]! don't nghhh♡— don't stop♡!". like hell you will.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who gets pounded from behind, back arching as your hips snap back and forth against his ass, your cum dripping down the sides of his thighs and down the sheets. you haven't stopped, he lost count to how many times he came and how many times you filled him up to the brim. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos legs write and kick as he feels his orgasm approaching, nononono, he can't possibly! you hips piston faster, making him cry out as he feels like your reaching his stomach. he tries to slow you down, his hand reaching for your abdomen and weakly pushing but it didn't work, it only made you faster. "ooohhh— ougnnhh! [name]! [name], please! i can't— i can't! i'll die, i'll— diiieee♡!", "having my dick shoved in your thirsty, drooling, cum filled hole won't kill you, so fucking take it." sex obsessed!kabukimono who screams into the pillow as his cocklet squirts and he body convulses, trying to escape the overwhelming pleasure. you kept thrusting, you didn't stop until you finally spill your load in him, groaning as his hole clenches, milking you for all your worth. a few seconds pass by, you begin to move again and kabukimono whines, limp body using all his strength to turn his head to face you. and to your (exciting) surprise, he has a dopey smile on. "keep filling me up, [name]♡!".
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astralnymphh · 7 months ago
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♯┆spacesoldier/spacescientist!ellie: who won't shut up about the hookup between you and her from the night before, and longs to do it again, fully. .ᐟ ★
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literally don't question the randomness of this blurb. i run on revelations and sudden visions, and this one was just too hot to let rot. i had to pause a whole request for this thing. and it's a bit rushed, i'll like expand on it some other time i just wanted to return to this trope. anyways, I digress— space scientist ellie, nine month voyage through the cosmos, hookups.. tipsy hookups.
it'd be morningtime in the wake of certain events preceding that memories would slowly begin to prick through the surface— owing to ellie's imperfect subtlety. hills and hills of planetary research, prototype weaponry, instructions on how to properly utilize said prototypes, and coffee-stained reports, dawdled through like the process couldn't get any more boring than it presently is; stress, procrastination, a murk in the thick of your thoughts— literal brainrot. then, the main office zone gate slides open, that little airy whir pulls through your ears, and the person that walks through foments sudden recollection to the promotion party last night. ellie. a new recruit under your stations wing— and the immodest girl who was under your hood many hours ago.
ellie is a damnable pesterer of love; portending that if you've ever been intimate with her, she'll be stuck to you like an idiot's tongue adheres to icicles in wintertime. and tipsy her definitely was after you two had sex: pleading for you to stay a minute longer to cuddle, pressing every work-related praise hot into your nape, mentioning how good you taste out of the blue, so on and so forth. yet now that it is a bright and advantageous morning, and considering that she woke up to the scent of you woven through each fiber of her clothes— she remembers, and she reminds.
ellie's got her legs crossed, arms crossed, leaned against your desk's edge, small butt of hers rudely stamping one of your precious folders; the usual stance she does when you're plying your trade, and she prying for attention. "seriously. thursday, you and me, conference room number twenty-seven, i'll bring wine and fetch dinner from the canteen— please?" an earnest ask, you can sense it in her tone; evenly pitched and soft, softer when she pleads, as always, albeit that the spaceship you dwell in has no actual restaurant so dating environments are centered around some good old D.I.Y and empty meeting rooms. her foot winds out slightly to tap the spokes of your office chair, nudging the focus you so dearly casted to the papers below you, to her instead. which regrettably works; tossing an eye roll as you spin, "dates and recreational dinners don't fit into anyone's schedule here, you know that." it aches to claim that, and aches harder to see her take that hit of an that answer. watching her head drop and her mouth tug into a contemplative shape that wanted to battle it out with excuses, loopholes, promises— but it forms into a grin rather, and decides to be impish. "had time for last night though, didn't we? a great time, actually, n' i wanna see where that.." her voice sinks into the pit of her throat— deep and reserved — and her thumbs start to do that cute fiddly thing at her waist, rolling over each other while the rest of her fingers intwine and overlap, "—takes us?" modifying her words into a delicate, unsure question. a toothy, one-sided smile and sad puppy brows, ugh you could just pinch her cheeks. but of course, she spices up the deal, "hopefully.. back into my room, if my flirting skills aren't total shit." annoyingly rambling as a way to showcase how gravely you've impacted her mind the last twelve or so hours. so grave, you're the only thing her motivation could cling upon to urge her limbs and weasel her sluggish weight out of bed earlier. "please?"
that please chisels a smile into your lips, unfortunately-fortunate, "god, you're so bad, williams." poking fun at her and coasting the wheeled chair away with the back of your knees straightening, rising from your seat with documents in-hand, and agreeance in-mind; written ripe on your lifted cheeks.
"was i?" said indirectly, a cocky implication twisting her cheeks to the same level as yours. it took you— let's say, two, three, awkward seconds of squinting before you understood her crafty-ass joke that took your words a completely different, and lewd direction. stupidly faced too: cocking her brow with the scar slicing through, and cocking one side of her head upwards too, overall just cocky. now you could just squeeze her annoying face until it exploded. figuratively.
"shut up." "okay."
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MASTERLIST . DAILY CLICK . READ THIS . PALESTINE MP . DOC VER
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beenbaanbuun · 9 months ago
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misunderstandings w/ san
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words - some
genre - fluff/angst with a dash of nsfw but not smut
warnings - horny!san, soft!san, sad!reader, misunderstandings, san in grey sweatpants, mentions of sex, no actual sex/sexual acts, reader speaks in riddles and expects san to understand
it’s no surprise to anyone that san likes to be cosy and comfy
we’ve all seen that fuzzy great sweater that he always wears
that thing looks like it would send me to sleep within seconds of putting it on, but i digress…
another item of clothing he keeps close to his heart is sweat pants, more specifically grey ones
he says they’re just comfy, but you know exactly why he wears them
they cling to his thighs so nicely and leave very little to the imagination
sometimes just seeing him in them is enough to drive you insane
it’s even worse if he takes a shower before putting them on, because 9 times out of 10, that man is not putting underwear on with them
a shirt is also optional… apparently san just doesn’t like the way they feel when his skin is damp
personally, you think san just does it because he knows it drives you crazy
in fact, there’s been more than a few times when you’ve texted san throughout your day at work about how much you miss him
and shown up at the end of the day with him on your couch, just like that; half naked with sopping wet hair
and whilst ‘i miss you’ usually is just code for ‘i’m horny’, sometimes it just means you’re having a bad day and want to hold him close for the rest of the day
either way, you don’t mind showing up to your house with a half naked san on your couch
you’re about to get the best dick of your life, or incredibly soft cuddles
it all depends on your response to his obvious advances, although sometimes he isn’t the best at taking hints
“you’re home,” he opens his arms the moment you walk through the door, as if asking for a hug
you’re more than happy to oblige, dumping your bag on the floor and letting your tired body collapse onto his
it had been a frustrating day to say the least
your coworker had been off so her work had been passed to you, despite the fact that no one person would be able to do all of that by themselves
still, the boss expected it whether you complained or not
saying you were drained was an understatement
as your body connects with san’s, he grunts, but catches you effortlessly
“fucking hell, babe,” he squeezes you gently as he holds you to his chest, “careful, yeah?”
you nod half heartedly into the damp skin of his neck
“you’re naked,” you deadpan, snuggling into his warmth a little
you know what it means, but you haven’t quite decided whether that’s what you want or not
maybe sex would take your mind off the day behind you
or maybe it would overstimulate you and send you spiralling… who’s to know!
“hardly,” he replies, “i have my sweatpants on…”
“and what are the chances of there being something underneath,” you wait for his response, but he stays silent which tells you everything you need to know
not that you need any confirmation; you can feel his hardening dick pressing against your thigh
you decide then and there that no, sex definitely would not be the best option
the thought alone of the ache that would follow is enough to make you decide that you certainly could not handle it right now
“it’s covered, is it not?” he finally says through pouted lips
you sit up fully and look at him with a fed-up expression, hoping he gets the message
you’d never been too good at saying no to people
something along the lines of not wanting to disappoint people
usually you just dropped hints and hoped for the best; san usually understood sooner or later
“it’s rock hard against my leg, san,” you scoff, “i don’t think your sweatpants are going to stop me from feeling that…”
he shrugs with a smirk
“that sounds like a you problem,” he says, which is actually factually incorrect, “maybe you should do something to sort it out…”
you can’t help but sigh at his inability to take any sort of hint
“or maybe, you can take yourself up to the bathroom and get rid of the problem yourself!”
it’s more obvious that the glare you gave him previously
still, the smirk remains as though you’re just teasing him
he shakes his head with a grin
“but you’re literally right here,” he whines, “and the bathroom is all the way upstairs…”
“i’m not in the mood to ache right now, sannie,” you once again, drop a hint that he, once again, completely disregards
in fact your statement makes him smile, clearly happy with what your statement implies about how good he fucks you usually
“i’ll be gentle?”
“san!” you scold, frustrated that your rock-headed boyfriend can’t seem to understand that whether or not he was rough was not the issue here
“i’m just saying,” he puts his hands up defensively
you look down at him with tired eyes, frustrated tears forming in the corners as you grow tired of throwing hint after hint at him
as much as you hated saying ‘no’ so bluntly, you settle on the fact that you might have to
“san,” you start, taking a deep sigh to calm your nerves, “i’m trying to tell you that i don’t want to have sex right now.”
you have to force yourself to look at him
even though you know that he’ll be more than fine with that fact, you can’t help but feel a little guilty about it
and when you look up at him, you can’t help not notice that his face falls a little
not that he’s upset at you not wanting sex, he’s just upset that he clearly misread the situation
and maybe he feels a little (a lot) guilty for pushing so hard when, now that he thinks back on it, you actually weren’t that interested
“oh, baby,” he mumbles softly as he moves his hands to rest against your thighs that sit either side of hips, “bad kind of ‘i miss you’, huh?”
you nod
“the bad kind,” you respond with a shrug, as if you’re trying to pass it off as nothing
but of course, gentleman san would never let that happen
because your emotions are never nothing
“you should’ve told me straight away,” he scolds gently, “or maybe i should’ve asked…” he frowns, “either way, if i’d have known i’d never have pushed so hard… you know that, right?”
you nod ever so slightly
of course you should’ve told him straight away, but again, saying no is hard for you and the ever present fear of disappointment hangs over your head like a rain cloud
and while you were positive that nothing you did could ever disappoint san, there was still something in the back of your brain that told you otherwise
“of course i know that, sannie,” you pout, “but you know me…”
“hm, i do know you,” he mutters as he rubs gentle circles into your thighs, “and i know how scary saying no is, but it’s just me.”
just san… it’s just san
you nod, understanding exactly what he means
there’s no external judgement, or any judgement at all for that matter, because it’s just san
and san doesn’t care about these things
san just wants to make you happy and if sex wouldn’t make you happy, then san would happy live with blue balls for the night
you nod again, more enthusiastic this time
“it’s just you,” you give him a small smile, which he returns without even a second passing
“there’s that pretty smile,” he coos before shifting his hands to your waist and tugging you gently until you’re lay flat against his chest once more
and you’re happy to just lie there in silence as san trails his fingers up and down your spine to soothe you
he’s not asked about your day yet, and he probably won’t for a while, content to sit in silence and love you for now
and you’re content too
very content
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habken · 5 months ago
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Izuku and Katsuki Hospital Comic - Thoughts and Process
I wanted to talk about the process and my thoughts while making this comic! Cause it was A Lot of planning and I feel like talking about how I went about it could maybe be helpful for other people who wanna make comics too ?
Also I just like talking and I've had So Many thoughts about it over the last few months, I just need to get them all out lol
everything is under the cut (it's Very Long) ↓↓↓
Initial Thoughts
I started planning the comic in January, around the time the chapter with the second user's plan to transfer ofa to shigaraki came out. I remember feeling so anxious and sad seeing how devastated Deku was to lose the 'gift' that All Might had passed to him :'((
It made me start thinking about what it would be like to not only go from having all this insane power at your fingertips back to nothing, but also how it would feel to lose the vestiges, which had been his advisers, yapping in his ear and keeping him company for months. How it would feel to go from constantly having people looking over your shoulder back to silence.
Then I thought about what that would mean for his and Bakugou's relationship, which has developed so much over the series. How Bakugou would feel about Deku no longer having ofa, how the two of them would wrestle with old feelings now that Deku would be quirkless again. Bakugou having to face the kid he bullied and Deku going back to a state where the world saw him as "useless" with dreams too big for somebody without a quirk.
I feel like sometimes it's not really taken into account how Deku's past affects him in the present, and that goes for in the actual series as well. Considering he's the main character, it's funny that we never really get too much of a peak inside his mind lol, especially not recently, which is most likely intentional, but I digress.
What I really wanted to do for this comic was circle back to Deku's question to All Might at the start of the series, "can I become a hero without a quirk" because while yes, deku can be a hero, he had to get a quirk to do so. So what happens now that he no longer has it? After all of Bakugou and Deku's development, would Bakugou's opinion on deku pursuing his dreams while quirkless change?
I really didn't want that answer to be no. I didn't want to believe that Deku would have to give up and "be realistic" again, it just didn't feel right for that to be the answer after 400 chapters.
So I wanted to make something that would encapsulate those thoughts! And I felt like the best way to fully get that out was through a scene in the aftermath of the battle, the two of them in the hospital with nothing to do but talk about their feelings.
It was important to me that the doubts they both felt about the future were stomped out, and for there to be reassurance that things between them wouldn't snap back to how it was before UA. That Deku could still reach his dreams even if they did become harder to obtain.
I also felt like narratively it would be a good parallel if Bakugou were to lose something tied to his power too, and with his arm being so bad off in canon, I thought it made sense that there was a chance he could lose it forever.
So it's like they're both coming out of the final battle worse off with huge losses, but no matter what, they're going to fight to achieve their dreams, and they're going to do it side by side :')
At its core, it’s very self indulgent lmao, I didn’t think that we’d get something that sappy and gross in canon (😳) so I wanted to make something for myself :')
Planning
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So then I made a first draft!
When I’m making bigger comics, thumbnails are super helpful! They help me see the full picture of what it could look like, and let me change things without putting in too much commitment. So most of the drawings are loose, but occasionally I’ll put in a little extra detail into things that I want to make sure are included in the final work.
There’s three main things I consider when thumbnailing for comics; expression, composition, and dialogue. Each of these things have a huge influence on each other, so keeping them all in mind when roughing out your drawings is important!
How it usually works is I play out the scene in my head like a movie and roughly come up with dialogue, then I draw characters and expressions based on that dialogue and the visions I had. Simultaneously I plan out approximately where those drawings will go/how much space they'll take up and finally, I add in the dialogue and move things around as needed so everything fits nice together.
Having the dialogue there in the draft lets me know around how big the speech bubbles are gonna be which is a massive help when figuring out paneling. It lets me plan around the bubbles and make sure nothing is too squished!
General tips:
Something I learnt from storyboarding is that establishing a setting for your scene at the start is really important! Most of my comics will start with a long shot or include one early on for this reason. It’s good for making sure readers aren’t confused on where everything is taking place!
Having a variety of shots is good for keeping your story engaging! This comic has a lot of closeups, but I tried to add variety where I could and used a lot of different angles to keep things entertaining even if there isn't that much going on
Final thoughts on this draft:
At this stage, the ending was really different from the final version I ended up with. It was a lot more focused on Bakugou's losses too and the vibe was kinda "well we're both nerfed now but that's chill we can still be heroes." I axed most of that cause I thought it was dumb and wasn’t really the conclusion I wanted lol
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After the rough draft, I started sketching everything out and adding in panels based on the composition from the og thumbnails. I also changed the dialogue as I went, focusing on making it sound more natural and easy to read.
This is where the nuances in movement and expression became a bit more refined and speech bubbles where better planned out.
At this stage, establishing clarity and imagining how readers are going to move their eye along the page is really important. Comics are generally read left to right, but you can’t just assume people are going to automatically read it in the order you want, which is why panels and speech bubble locations are so important.
Tips:
A general rule is that along with going from left to right, speech bubbles should be in descending order. This can be broken a bit, but it’s important to remember that the rule is there in the first place for clarity's sake. So if you do plan on breaking it, make sure it's not at the sacrifice of legibility. The human eye is lazy and will jump to whatever seems most logical, so planning things out in a confusing manner is going to make your comic hard to read!
This is another thing I picked up from storyboarding, but keeping in mind the 180° rule is good for clarity as well! In the simplest of terms, if you have two characters in a scene, it’s good to keep character A on one side and character B on the other, and not switch those sides willy-nilly, otherwise it can get confusing. This isn't as important in comics as it is in film/television, but I still like keeping it in mind.
Final thoughts:
I hated the original ending but I couldn't exactly figure out how I wanted it to go, and I was too busy at that point to dedicate the time I needed towards it, so it stayed as these four panels for while :’)
During the period I stopped working on it, Deku lost his arms which had me panicking lmao, so much of the comic was devoted to his emotions and body language, specifically in his hands. I just went "am I gonna have to redo everything? Do I give him prosthetics?" and I was fully ready to rework the entire thing but Eri came in clutch for Deku (and me) <3
After Deku started getting hurt, I didn't really like the idea of him being discharged and sitting with a still injured Katsuki, and wanted it to be clear that they were both still in the hospital, so I had to axe poor Deku's "hospital gown" shirt for actual hospital garb </3
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At some point during april-ish, I finally added in a new beginning and end, which took the comic from four pages to seven. I felt like the new parts added a lot more levity and humour which were needed, and I think it helped make Izuku and Katsuki feel closer than before.
For these pages, I skipped the thumbnail stage and jumped straight into full page stuff, which felt easier because they were kind of just add-ons.
Something I specifically liked were the first two panels in the last page. Fun fact, but a few days after I sketched those out, horikoshi released that art of to two of them smiling together and I went !! That's the vibe I wanted !! Me and Horikoshi are on the same wavelength! That was a good day lmao.
At this point, though, while new parts added a lot more to the story and brought it closer to the vibe I wanted, they also messed with the tone and overall pacing and it ended up feeling really off. Deku was now doing this weird 180 from being super sad and upset to then immediately joking around and goofing off with no acknowledgement of anything Katsuki was saying, which had been fine enough when it was just 4 panels, but very off-putting once I made the comic longer
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...So I decided to add even more panels :')
I went back to my original ideas, and part of what I wanted to get across originally was the doubts about Izuku's future from here on out, and the worry that things would go back to how they were before he got ofa. I realized those initial things which had fueled the comic were no longer really part of it, and I wanted to change that.
When I thought up the idea of visuals surrounding their middle school selves, I felt so smart LMAO. I think it ended up being the thing that brought the entire comic together.
Izuku reverting back to that anxious, unconfident state, spiralling into himself, and mumbling out all his insecurities, including his fears about losing Katsuki's friendship (and yet still somehow more worried about Katsuki's feelings than his own). And in turn, Katsuki remembering and seeing Izuku as that kid again, and his own fears of becoming a bully once more.
It better explored what I wanted to originally get across and delved more into their feelings, so that the jokes and levity at the end felt like they were earned, rather than being a rapid shift in tone.
(The only other thing that changed was the some of the panels in the first page. I changed up the speech bubbles and got rid of a panel so it would be less cramped and easier to read.)
At this point, I was still having trouble figuring out how to tie everything in and segway pages 6-7 into the ending organically, so it sat like this for around a month.
Then chapter 423 released and the battle was over and I realized how little time I actually had to get the comic out. I knew that the next chapter could possibly make my entire comic obsolete, so I hauled ass :D
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These were the final plans before I cleaned everything up! I changed around some of the panels to make the story flow better, I figured out how to tie everything in, and I finalized the dialogue!
At this point all the panelling was redone because I wanted more space in between them. Before, it felt really cramped and I think adding in more breathing room made it feel slightly less overwhelming for readers.
The biggest changes from the previous draft:
First, obviously, I finished the middle school stuff and figured out how to get from one part to the next. This was the hardest part of the planning, but I ended up deciding that Deku would spiral, Bakugou would kind of bring him out of that, they'd hug and then Bakugou would reassure him. I also included motifs relating to their childhood to be reminiscent of The Apology, and Katsuki's thoughts going back to them sharing the special All Might cards, them at the lake, etc. As if this was another healing moment for each part of them; their current selves, their MS selves, and their childhood selves too
I then changed some of the panels in the first page. I switched the direction of the diagonal line in the first few panels because I thought it made it more clear which way to start reading and made the comic flow better.
In the fourth page, I added a panel after Deku starts crying, because I felt like it worked better with the dialogue, and brought in more of Katsuki's POV into the story
The sixth page doesn't really look different, but there was a lot of resizing going on panel-wise. The bottom panel doesn't take up as much space and the panels up top are a little bigger
The final big change was the eighth page. I added in an extra panel and changed up a lot of expressions/dialogue so there was more of a natural transition between the heartfelt moments and the two goofing off
I then made some final changes and drawover notes before I started a week of cleanup and colouring!
Cleanup/Colouring Stage
Cleaning up my sketches usually just means duplicating the layer, putting the original layer at 5% opacity and.. cleaning it until it looks nice lol. It's the easiest way for me to work because I hate doing lineart.
This is what my sketch vs final usually looks like. The biggest change was adding in bandages into all the drawings lol.
For speech bubbles, I drew them all by hand, created a flat colour layer underneath in white, duplicated that and filled it in with black and shifted it with the transformation tool to make a drop shadow effect.
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It took me two days to colour the whole thing :')
Usually when I colour, I work in a pretty painterly way, but I thought flats/cell shading would be a lot faster for this. I was right but it still took Very Long.
The smartest thing I did was put colour swatches of each colour I was using on a separate layer above everything else so I could easily use the eyedropper and get the right colour without having to reference them from another page. It was a big time saver!
I colour all on a single layer so I don't have progress photos to show, but for each drawing, I roughly added in all the colours in the approximate locations they'd be, and once I did that for every single panel, I went back and cleaned them up one by one.
And that's that! After colouring was done, I added my signature, posted it, and took the nap of the century.
Final, Final Thoughts
I worked... Very Hard to get the comic out before leaks night and even if it was just a few hours, I'm so glad I was able to do it cause when I saw the actual chapter I lost my mindddd
I feel like as the comic progressed, Katsuki's feelings took a backseat and if I was to redo it, I'd probably put a bit more emphasis on that than I did in the final version. I feel like his ~inner turmoil~ didn't fully come through the way I wanted it to. I didn't want it to be an immediate acceptance — I wanted the fact that he was struggling with his past to be evident too — but with the focus being so heavily on Izuku, Katsuki's inner thoughts get a bit lost which is too bad </3 Good thing is Horikoshi had the exact opposite idea as me, so it all worked out :D
I'm really proud of how the comic turned out, and I'm so happy to have gotten such a positive response to it! Thank you for reading if you got this far and thank you for reading my silly self-indulgent hospital comic :)
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random-fandom1984 · 7 months ago
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hi, can you do, Yandere tfa Longarm/shockwave x cybertronian reader
Oh, yes! I have a story in the making on Wattpad, and in a way, I guess it would be a Yandere story? But that doesn't matter at the moment. This is exciting! :D
Warning: Potions, Yandere Behavior, etc.
~All It Takes Is A Potion to Show How Much I'm Obsessed with You~
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Translations: Stellar Cycle = 1 year Deca-Cycle = 10 days Solar Cycle = 1 day Orbital Cycle = 1 month Nano-Click = 1 second
Sparkmerge = Wedding/marriage Energon Sweets = candy High Grade = Wine/alcohol/beer/vodka/etc. Conjunx Endura = Spouse Optics = Eyes Datapad = Book/tablet/etc. Subspace = Storage unit Dente = Teeth Throat Pipes = Throat
Today is our second Sparkmerge anniversary of the Stellar Cycle. I've had a good history with making Energon sweets, so I plan on making one that's his favorite, that sadly went out of business a few Deca-Cycles ago, and some high grade. I remember that we first met in Autobot Boot Camp and got along swimmingly. It was sad that my old friend turned out to be a Decepticon Spy, but I digress and moved on. Sure, it was hard to do, but at least I made a new friend who became my Conjunx Endura, Longarm.
We both graduated with flying colors and became Primes. He became head of Cybertron Intelligence – the one before him, Highbrow, was discovered dead, and no bot knew how – and I became his S.I.C. – the previous one ending up missing for some reason–, so they put us at the top since we were great at our jobs. We became an item way before we got promoted.
Of course, there had been an issue that popped up. Five Orbital Cycles ago, Longarm had gotten a call from a couple of bots that we went to boot camp with: Bumblebee; the one who Longarm helped to call out Wasp as the spy, and my cousin Bulkhead. The both of them are a part of Optimus' team on Earth, fighting Megatron. Apparently, the both of them intercepted a call with Megatron and a spy. Something about a construction project.
I can feel excitement pulsing through the other side of the bond, to which I sent back to with suppressed giggle; He's been like this all Solar Cycle, even yesterday ever since he came back from Iacon's Hall of Records, and I find it cute. He's so sweet, smart, and adorkable! I wonder how things are holding up on his end.
Yesterday
It's true, you two have been bonded for the past 2 Stellar Cycles and started dating in the middle of your time at boot camp. But there was one thing you didn't know; let me start from the beginning.
When entering the Autobot Boot Camp with a fake frame, he wasn't expecting anything to distract him from his mission for Lord Megatron as a spy. But... that all changed the moment his optics landed on you. To him it was love at first sight. And he saw how close you were with Wasp and Bulkhead, he felt something inside of him. What was this? Jealousy? No! There's no way! He's a Decepticon and you're an Autobot.
When he was approached by Bumblebee, who told him that he found out there was a Decepticon spy and suspects it might be Wasp, he took that as a way to drive attention away from him and onto him and C/n will be hi- Stop it! After Wasp was taken away to prison, he found you slacking off and then later came across you crying in your room. For some reason, he comforted you even though he shouldn't; you would've been kicked out for slacking, which would have gotten rid of another Autobot in his way, but he didn't. You also had another bot help comfort you, which was Bulkhead, who he later found out was your cousin; nothing to worry about with him getting in his way.
Later on, he grew to accept these feelings. You needed him; you don't need those unknown admirers that went missing a few days after interacting with you. Just him. This turned for the better in his favor when caught you leaving secret admirer love letters in his dorm; he didn't bring it up until he confessed his feelings. The image of your flustered face plate when you realized you'd been caught from the start will forever remain in his processor.
After graduating, he had to wait a while to kill Highbrow and instantly killed his assistant for abusing his role by being a creep; he deserved it. And it turned out good because not only did he become the new Head of Intel, but you became his assistant.
For the past Deca-Cycles, he's been conflicted. The Prime Council found out that there's a Decepticon spy in their ranks, which only led to another problem. If they found out he's the spy, you would most likely react negatively; you knew him better than anyone else in their ranks and will use it against him. So, he has two options:
Do nothing, and if he does get found out, have you sparkbroken and hate him, assuming he faked his affections towards you.
Find a way to turn you into a Decepticon.
He wanted to do the second option, but so far, all resources he's found in the history section in the Hall of Records ends up with the victim in pain in the process. The only thing calming his nerves and keeping him from lashing out in frustration that he was getting nowhere was a gift you made him when you both were in the dating phase of your relationship; A charm that hangs from a string, which is connected to a small magnet that is currently magnetized to his wrist.
He was fiddling with the charm until he felt it slip from his grasp. He looked down to see something slip into the shadows and move away in a blob of shadows. Obviously, he chased after it, nothing takes something of his that was made by his darling and gets away. As he chased it, he didn't notice the scenery change until he was deep enough in another section of the Hall or Records, which seems to be abandoned.
He continued to chase until he came across a bot. The shadow he was chasing phased out of the shadow in the form of a snake, with only a single eye, dropping the charm in the figure's servo. The figure turned their head, and to his surprise, was literally made of shadows, the only thing that stood out from the dark mass with glowing purple outlines was that had one normal optic and the other looked like the snake's, the Snake-Eyed Bot he'll call them.
Before he could demand for the charm back, the Snake-Eyed Bot tosses it back to him without a single word and beckoned him over. Suspicious, he approached with caution. Upon arrival, the figure gives him a datapad.
"H̵̯̞̥̙͕͔̗̺̠̼͖̩̟͚̄̅͂͗̐͂̈́͜e̶͇̣͉̫̻̹̝̻̩̰̲͇̘̱͒͐̊͌̽͠ṙ̸̢̉̓͐̃͠e̵̞̺̟̗̤̎̈́̀̑͊͝'̴̢̘̣͉̬̙̘̞́̇̃̌͑̈́̈͘̚ş̸̢̧̹̬̟͎̘̓͛̓̎͗̀̓̆̏͋́̆̃́̀ ̶̧̥́̅̈́̏̈́͆̆͒͗͒̉͂͗͒t̶̡̨̨̧̤̬̱̘͎̹̞̪̻̀̕ͅh̸̢̏̑͆͆̊̅̋͊̇ę̸̜̭̬͍̜͎̣̬͔̘̮͙͋̐̿́̈́͠͠ͅ ̷̩̫̿̃̿̐͛͝à̷̢̢̢͍͎͚̓͂̆͗̔̆̈̕̕̕n̴̢̲̹̬̩̼̙̯̬̜̼̩͈̎͂̾̃̈͜ş̷̬͍̻̰̩͓̗̱̥̗̝̩̏̏̽̃̅͒́́͜͝w̸̧̡̨̟̺̣̖͉̣͎̦͈̗̳̏͂͊̑̋̈́̿̿́͗̃̑̕e̴̬̺̙̞̗͎̞͍̞̠̒͜͜͝r̷̡͙͇͕̫͉̞̮̞̦̦͚͒͗́͐̽̉̕͝͝ ̸̢͇̲̬͕̺̙͉̈́́͐̇͂͌͂̊̑̽͝ț̴̡̺̾͋̅͐͑͊̌̈̓̌͗̕̚̕o̶̭̞͙̳͇̰̘͛ͅ ̶̨̧͎͇̫̹̰̮̘̬̯̗̟́y̴̢͖̩̳̱̞̎́͜͜o̶̡̫͔̹̯͍̹̱͖͔͎͚͚̼̎̾́̓̀̐̈́̈̄͂̀̈́̓̃̚u̷̺͕̭̫̬͛̎r̸̲͓̺̖͔̠̤̪̺̮̦̗͇̾̐̐̈́̌̈́ͅ ̴͉̺̯̯̻̓̀̃̈́̿̓š̸̱̫͈̥̺͔͚̣̺͍̒̑̍̇̊̉͆̀̔͘̚͠ͅe̸̡̧̨̖̣̰͍̺̻̱̅̌̈́͊̅̑͠a̶̤͈̭͈͆̓͝r̶̨̜̜̱̫̣̭̼͎̤̊́̓̃̾̈́č̶̡̻͎̠͉͎̩͉͓̜̰̭̱̓͐͜h̶̛͙̻̭̮̮̖̼̦̞̩͚͚̹̀̆͝ͅ."
Confused, he looked at it's contents; the Title caught his attention. Forever Potions? Before he could ask anything else, the figure tossed him a sack. Looking inside and at an ingredients page, there was three of everything on the list. He looked back up, only to find that he was standing behind the table he was sitting at, almost like he experienced a hallucination in a mere second, but the data pad and bag proved otherwise.
He placed the bag in his subspace before sitting back down and looking through the datapad. The results is what he needed: Something painless. Knowing better, he knew to read the part about the inner workings before heading off and doing something without knowing if this was truly safe or not. Luckily, it was.
He returned home, happy with his search.
It was the next day, and it was their second anniversary, and he came up with the perfect plan. For his surprise, he prepared a romantic dinner for just the two of you. He luckily had the day off, and as he was preparing the dinner, he was filled with joy and excitement, which only grew when every single time you returned the feeling over the bond.
He made Energon cubes for the both of you, crafted the potion carefully as possible, and poured it into yours. Luckily, it didn't affect the color of it so then you wouldn't be suspicious of it. He had extra time before it would be the exact time you would arrive home, so he decorated the room for the occasion.
When you arrived, he was both surprised and happy that you had his favorite Energon sweets; he'd thought they sold out. To his surprise, it wasn't that, you made it yourself?! He couldn't have asked for a better sparkmate.
He sat you down at the table, and you were flabbergasted at how gorgeous the room was, and he made Energon cubes? Frag yes! When you ate your cube, for some reason it tasted sweet/salty/sour/whatever-flavor-you-like than the last time you had one, but you weren't complaining because it tasted better than ever before.
A few cups of high grade later, you started to feel lightheaded. He saw this and led you to the berthroom where you both cuddled as you both went into recharge.
Everything is going according to plan.
(The Next Day)
No one seemed to notice any changes at work. Everything is going on like everything is normal.
"C/n Prime, here's some reports about the information of Decepticon spy my team could possibly find." Firerunner said, giving you a datapad containing all the information. "Thank you, Firerunner. You are dismissed." You said, taking the datapad, not taking your eyes from your screen and your fast typing.
Just as he was about to turn around, he noticed something. "Um, C/n Prime?" He called out. "Yes?" You quired. "Are you okay? Your optics are looking a little..." He trailed off. You turned your helm, your green optics staring back into his, almost boring into his soul. "Oh, I'm fine! Thanks for asking. An old friend of mine, who's a medic, looked into it and some bot decided to do something funny to by Energon rations for this to happen to me. I don't know how long it'll last, but I can assure you, I'll be fine." You informed with a smile, which just made your green optics seem a bit creepier. "Okay then, have a good day, ma'am." He said with a bow before walking off.
When he was out of sight, you picked up the datapad and looked through it, and sure enough, it had information regarding any information they could find about the Decepticon spy and where they might be hiding. With your smile never faltering, you deleted everything off of it before breaking in half, your smile now showing your dente. A giggle escaped your throat pipes as you dumped it in the garbage chute behind your desk. Out of sight, out of mind.
That's when you suddenly received a call from your comm-link. "Hello?" You asked in a sweet tone. "Dear, can you please come to my office? There's someone I'd like you to meet." He requested. "Of course, be there in a nano-click." You said before ending the call.
You stood up from your seat and started to traverse through the halls of building to your sparkmates office. You were in front of his door, looked around to see if anyone was around. You saw no one. Not a bot in sight. You opened the door, closing it behind you so no camera can have a peek on what's inside.
At his desk was your love, his true self of course. He was now taller than you by a landslide, had two antlers on the sides of his helm that extend upwards, three digits that are claw-shaped, a single, red optic being the only thing in the center of his face plate, and, of course, a Decepticon sigil proudly shown on his chassis.
"Lord Megatron, this is our new recruit, and my love: C/n." He said as you walked over and were in frame of the camera. On the other end of the screen was Lord Megatron himself. "And how are you sure she isn't tricking you?" Megatron asked. "Nothing that you should worry about, my liege. I made sure. But let's just say, it was an enchanting discovery."
Part 2?
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Hello!! Could you write Jax × reader. Where Jax tries to make the reader jealous in different ways and using others to do this. It would be very nice to read something like this, but of course if you have the time and desire!! If not, then everything is fine!!
All the best dear!!
I don't know how Jax would make the reader jealous using somebody else, other than by flirting. So I'm just going to do that.
Jax flirting with someone in front of the Reader
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★ I'm assuming that at this point the two of you are already in a relationship. If you weren't in a relationship, trying to make you jealous would be counterproductive.
★ He does anything and everything you don't want him to do. You like the bed made before leaving your room? He's messing it up on purpose. Hate onions? Bestie, he's putting em on your food when you look away.
★ While he wouldn't do anything too bad (ex: physically hurting you or crossing established boundaries) there are times where he goes too far. Like he just didn't stop to think about how you'd feel before making a (bad) decision.
★ He might have a problem with impulse control, but I digress. Flirting with someone right in front of you would definitely count as a bad decision. Especially if it's with an Ai or trapped human.
If you get really upset/sad
★ Immediate regret. Especially if you start to tear up a little. Internally Jax is going "oh @!$# they're crying-" but externally he's going to start backtracking. Attempting to play it off as a joke.
"Oh Y/n, there you are. I was just practicing- Pinky swear!" He said while crossing his fingers behind his back. 🤞
★ If that doesn't work he realizes how royalty he messed up. Not being the best with words, his apology would involve writing you an apology letter (written with the help of Ragatha) and sliding it through your door.
If you get angry with him
★ Perfect, this is kinda what he was going for. As long as you don't start swinging at him he's happy with the chaos he caused. He can live with the silent treatment for a few hours.
"Aww are you jealous? Don't worry hot stuff, my eyes are only on you~"
★ As an apology, he allows you to punch him on the arm once and not in front of anybody. Just this one time because you really want to and he admittedly deserves it.
If you brush him off/don't react
★ You know him well, the only reason he'd flirt with someone else is to try and get a rise out of you.
"Y/nnn" He said in a sing-song voice. You refused to acknowledge him, there's no way you're going to give him the reaction he wants. "Oh, come on. You're no fun..."
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f1byjessie · 9 months ago
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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.
sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.
( lando norris x photographer!reader )
━━ part six.
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yourusername manchester nights
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INSTAGRAM.
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liked by yourusername, user, and 524,087 others
tagged: yourusername
garrettward luxury.
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user AIN’T NO WAY HE FINALLY POSTED HER
user girlies i hate to say it, but maybe this one’s actually serious… 🫢
↳ user i refuse to believe it…
↳ user he’s literally never posted another girl before tho??
user king of aesthetics
user i can’t believe he’s actually dating her
user what does he actually see in her?? like gen what is it cuz i cannot see it from here 😒😒😒
user she’s just using you for your clout garrett DON’T FALL FOR IT 😫 SHE’S NOT THE ONE THERE ARE BETTER FISH IN THE SEA
↳ user she’s fr just using him for the money and fame it’s so sad
↳ user right?? like he’s posting her which means he’s probably serious but i doubt she is and it’s just gonna hurt him in the end 😔
↳ user this is why i hate when celebs or athletes get with ppl who aren’t in the same sphere as them, cuz like if she were another celeb then we would know she has money or if she were actually a football fan then we would know she’s invested in helping him get better but she’s neither 🤷‍♀️
↳ user it hurts to see such an innocent man get used
user wait she’s actually kind of pretty tho 👀👀
↳ user she lowkey is
user can’t wait to see you back on the field soon garrett!!
user mad style bro
user came over from y/n’s account to say that you fans are exhibiting behaviour that is genuinely so immature and disrespectful. it’s sickening. you claim to support this athlete but you don’t support his decision to enter an exclusive relationship with someone? you say it’s bc she doesn’t know football or that she’s controlling or that she’ll ruin his career, but you know nothing about her and i’d bet you all would say the same thing about anyone. she could be a professional footballer herself and you would still say she isn’t fit to be with him. get over yourselves and bffr. none of you had a chance with him to begin with, and you hating on an innocent girl so much that she had to turn her comments off so she wouldn’t keep getting death threats is actually crazy. you all are delusional.
↳ user THIS. i’m so tired of the hatred
↳ user i’m honestly surprised garrett hasn’t said anything to his fans about them leaving her alone yet…
↳ user he probably thought GROWN ADULTS would know it’s inappropriate to act like BABIES but i digress 🙄
↳ user whether he thought they were mature enough or not, the fact that he probably knew it was happening (she’s his gf, there’s no way she didn’t tell him or he didn’t see the comments himself before she turned them off) and still hasn’t said anything is a major red flag imo. he’s posted her/acknowledged that she exists on his acc now, but he STILL hasn’t addressed the hatred his “fans” have been sending her and continue to direct towards her in the comments of his own post.
↳ user i think it’s a out of sight out of mind type situation tbh. if neither of them acknowledge them, then the haters aren’t given the attention they want. they might just be waiting for it to die down.
↳ user i don’t think that’s a good enough reason tho?? if i was a celeb and my significant other was being harassed by jealous and delusional fans, i would absolutely say smth and try to get them to stop, partly bc my s/o doesn’t deserve to be spoken about like that just bc they’re in a relationship with me and partly bc i personally wouldn’t want to see that type of negativity directed towards the person i care about. it’s a matter of respect for your partner.
“I’ll be honest with you, Garrett━ I don’t like you very much.”
The restaurant table you’re both sitting at is tucked away in a corner and gives you enough privacy to feel comfortable having this conversation with Garrett out in public. The restaurant itself is exclusive in its own right, similarly to the first place Garrett took you. It’s not as high class in the sense that you feel underdressed with business casual, but it’s the type of locale that other celebrities or higher class individuals tend to frequent and it makes you feel secure in the fact that the staff are trained to be discreet about anything they might overhear.
“But,” you shrug, “I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”
Garrett takes a slow sip from his coffee and raises an eyebrow at you over the rim of his cup. While he does so, you appraise him. The only other time you’ve seen him in something other than his training attire or some equally comfortable athletic-adjacent wear was the first night you both went out, and you hadn’t really been paying much attention to him then━ too focused on trying not to scream your head off in frustration.
He looks good though, which you’re loath to admit. Garrett, at the very least, has fashion sense if nothing else. If he were even half decent his style might’ve been enough to make up for the rest of the decency he’s missing, but as it stands he’s so far below the bar that his ability to dress nice only serves to get him within jumping distance of your lowest standards.
He lowers his cup back down the table with a faint clink, and then steeples his fingers together on the table.
“Quite frankly, Y/N━” the way your name sounds on his lips makes you shiver, but not at all in the way it’s described in the romance novels you used to read back in school. It’s like the human equivalent of your hackles rising, sensing danger, knowing you need to make yourself bigger to appear like more of a threat, “━I don’t really care what you think of me. This is more of a business transaction than an actual relationship. You don’t need to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”
He ends it with what would be a charming smile on anyone else, but knowing who he is beneath his charismatic facade makes it look sleazy.
You scoff. “For a guy who’s so desperate to fix his reputation, you sure aren’t doing anything to actually try and fix who you are as a person.”
It’s his turn to scoff. “I don’t actually need to be a better person, I just need everyone to think I’m a better person.”
“Fair enough.” You can’t argue with that. “But if I’m going to be spending a prolonged amount of time with you, you’re gonna have to at least pretend to not be a total dick.” You take a sip of your coffee.
He watches you for a moment━ observes your face, your hands, the way you tap your fingers against the table once your cup has been lowered. And you watch him right back. His steepled fingers have intertwined together, and he’s resting his chin atop them in a show of nonchalance, but his eyebrows are furrowed tight and his shoulders are pulled tense.
“What do you even want out of this?” He finally asks after another few seconds of silence broken only by the quiet drone of other restaurant patrons in the background. “What’s so important to you that it matters more than whatever notoriety being with me could give you?”
The Manchester skyline outside the window draws your gaze as you ponder how to go about explaining your answer. The storm-darkened sky casts the city streets below in a heavy shadow, which mimics your own mood as of late. It’s the weekend now, but Lando’s call and the things he’d drunkenly said still looms over you. You’d spent the week in a bad mood that not even your newfound friendship with Jack was capable of easing, and each day with continued radio silence on Lando’s end━ the fact that he can’t even bother to apologize himself━ only sours things more and more.
It had soured even more when McLaren’s PR team manager had reached out to you with the knowledge that you could plan on being back at the Technology Centre in Woking by the end of the month, in just under two weeks. In and of itself this hadn’t been bad news, but it meant seeing Lando again and unless he reaches out first to extend an olive branch, you could almost guarantee you’d be in for an uncomfortably awkward reunion.
But none of that matters right now.
“I’ll admit, I’m taking a page out of your book and being a prick,” you say as you turn back to Garrett. “But, in my case, it’s entirely warranted because he was a prick first.”
“What’d this guy do?”
In an odd turn of events, it feels as though you’re gossiping with Garrett Ward of all people. Without the context of your relationship with him━ the real one, not the one you’re pretending to have━ you imagine you probably look like two friends talking shit, or pretty close to the couple you’re supposed to be. Despite being such a twat normally, Garrett really does just come across as being a normal guy.
You have to remind yourself just what he threatened to do. He’s not a normal guy━ he’s dangerous. But he’s also a crucial part of your plan, and there was certainly some truth when he’d called things between you a business transaction. You don’t have to like him, but you have to trust that he’s got his own best interest in mind and you can certainly capitalize off of that.
“He had some choice words about our ‘relationship,’” you start, fiddling with the handle of your cup. “And even though we aren’t actually together and I probably wouldn’t touch you even if we were the last two people on Earth, it’s the principle behind it all. He has no right to judge me so harshly for my relationship choices, so I’m going to flaunt that I don’t care what he thinks, he’s not my keeper, and I will date whoever I damn well please,” you finish with a huff.
Garrett blinks at you. You’re starting to think he just has a staring problem, but before you can call him out on it he rolls his eyes, crosses his arms, and leans back in his seat━ looking the part of the smug douche he actually is. “You like this guy, and you want to use me to make him jealous because you’re pissed that he hasn’t given any hint at being interested in you but still feels as though as if he can be possessive over you.”
You blink at him. “No. Absolutely not.”
He raises an infuriating eyebrow.
“Fuck you,” you mutter into your cup, taking a sip to avoid having to say anything more.
Garrett heaves a sigh. “I suppose I could help you with that. We’ll be doing the couple shit anyways, might as well kill two birds with one stone and solve your problem and mine.” The way he says it makes it seem as though he’s doing you a favor, and if you weren’t so sure that he’d rescind his willingness to help if you argued with him, you’d call him out on the fact that technically he’s the one who owes you after you agreed to help him with his dilemma in the first place.
“Why not just be honest with him?” He says after another moment.
You snap your eyes back to him. “What?”
“Why not just be honest?” He repeats with a shrug. “Aren’t you worried he’ll lose eventually lose interest if he thinks you’re off the market?”
You scoff, “I’m not off the market. I’m just not available to the public.” You’d sat awake at night not long after things with Garrett began and realized that it really was all just an act. Actors kiss in front of a camera all the time, but at the end of the day they go home to their real partners and that’s the only person that really matters. Things aren’t all that different between you and Garrett. You call yourselves a couple, but side from the agreement that you’ll act like one in public, there’s no obligation or commitment to put one another first. Garrett will always prioritize his career, reputation, and friendships over you, and you’re rather inclined to do the same.
He purses his lips.
“Oh please,” you roll your eyes. “As if you expect me to believe you aren’t still planning to pick up a few birdies at the pub and show them a fun time.”
“My situation is different than yours. I’m the one trying to convince the media I’ve changed, which means I need someone who can be discreet, and a birdie from the pub certainly isn’t that.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Not getting laid for a few months is just a sacrifice I have to make to keep my place at Man City.”
You don’t mention that no matter what he does to try and clean up his act, Manchester City won’t be keeping him around after his contract expires. He wouldn’t believe you anyway, but even if he did you doubt he’d be all that willing to continue with this facade.
“More fun for me then,” you say instead, returning the smug smirk he’d given you earlier.
He glares.
INSTAGRAM.
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footballfansofficial UPDATE: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward once again seen out in public with girlfriend and Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The couple were caught sharing a romantic evening for the first time on the 5th of January, and have once again been spotted Saturday, the 20th, following Ward and L/N’s public posts on social media platform, Instagram. Ward has reportedly been making progress with his injury recovery, and is speculated to be rejoining the team on the pitch in February if all continues to go well. As the 2024 Formula One season draws nearer, it’s also expected that L/N will be returning to her McLaren roots, after working with Manchester City to photograph their winter training, which leaves fans wondering how their relationship will fare. Check the link in our bio for the full article!
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user i’m starting to warm up to the idea of them as a couple… 👀👀👀
user I WAS SO CONVINCED SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS??? WERE THEY NOT EVER TOGETHER??? 🤯
↳ user i don’t think they were which is super shocking bc she posts him all the time on insta
↳ user i mean?? that’s technically her job?? as a photographer for mclaren she takes and posts pictures of the mclaren drivers. if you scroll across her feed she also has a lot of oscar from 2023, and carlos and daniel from their years with the team. she’s been working with manchester city recently too and has been posting the players as well. it’s just that she’s worked with lando the longest consecutively so ofc her account is gonna have him posted more than the others
↳ user LET ME BE DELUSIONAL I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE SO CUTE 😭😭
user i really wish garrett would actually focus on his career instead of dating women bro’s contract ends at the end of the season and he doesn’t even seem bothered
user MAN CITY RE-SIGN GARRETT WARD 2024 🩵🩵🩵
user i hope the long distance makes them break up
↳ user me toooooo that bitch needs to get away from my man
↳ user he’s too good for her
↳ user be so fucking fr, she’s never had a scandal in her entire career but garrett ward has had dozens in just the past few years. if anyone is too good, it’s her 🙄
user MCLAREN WCC 2024 🧡🏁 AND MAN CITY TREBLE WINNERS 2024 🩵⚽���
user don’t hate me but i totally thought garrett ward was gay
↳ user ah, yes, most notorious casanova, known for his many nightly escapades with women, that’s 100% proof that he’s gay
↳ user idk that was just the vibe i got
↳ user be so fucking fr 💀💀
user will city even want to re-sign him after the season is up?? he’s been on loan for the majority of his contract anyway, playing in the championship of all things, and now he’s back but he’s missed a majority of the season cuz of an injury. i personally don’t think garrett ward stands a chance against the current starting forwards, so even when he’s recovered who’s to say he’ll play in any matches?? just seems like a waste for city to keep him around if he isn’t even being used
user if ward is actually cleaning up his act then good for him
↳ user real. all these ppl acting like she's suddenly changing him into a whole new person against his will, but none of them have stopped to think that maybe he WANTS to change.
━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja
━━ a/n: i did it! got this part done so much faster AND i didn't wanna rage while i did it 😌 feeling pretty proud of myself for that. anyways! hope you all enjoy!
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thoughtsforsoob · 8 months ago
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txt - s/o who struggles with food
a/n: this going to be a very angsty work so please bear with me...i'm feeling very angsty these days. anyways, this hits a little close to home so I understand if you're not able to read this. please be kind to yourself. i'm always here to chat if you ever need anything. please enjoy.
warnings! I will be discussing ed's and food and everything within that realm so please read this at your own digression! (you're not alone. if you're going through something right now, please seek help. it can be hard but you've got this! I believe in you!)
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Yeonjun
Yeonjun for sure takes a while to notice anything is ever happening. He just gets so busy with work that he forgets. Sometimes, he struggles to take care of himself for this reason so he can definitely understand the struggle of taking care of yourself enough. When he does find out, he does all he can to help you. He's really caring towards his partner. 
By this point, Yeonjun hadn't seen in person for about 2 months. He was off on tour with the group. Of course, you two had facetime sessions when you two had a moment to spare but it still couldn't have prepared him for what he would face when he got home. The moment he arrived at the airport back home, he immediately asked to go back to your shared apartment. When he arrived, you met him at the door but the way you looked was very different. You appear thinner and it was quite obvious. Yeonjun tried not to make his reaction obvious but he couldn't help the way his eyes went wide when he laid eyes on you. You frown at him and after some talking, you spill about how you were so angry at yourself for the way you looked that you just kinda stopped eating right. Yeonjun makes it his mission to help you feel better and he helps you get back on track to eating enough like you did before. 
Soobin
This section does mention making yourself vomit so please read with caution!
Soobin is also so good when it comes to comforting others. He gives the best hugs and always knows just what to say to help you feel better. when he finds out you're having trouble with your relationship with food, he is absolutely heartbroken. He hates the idea of you struggling with something that he feels should make you happy. He is always going to do whatever you need him to do so you can recover. 
You and Soobin had been together for a few months now and everything was going really well. You both were very happy with one another and were getting along great. The only problem was that Soobin had no idea about your relationship with you. You would do your best to hide the fact that you were never able to get yourself to keep your food down. It made you feel so disgusted but Soobin had no idea. On this particular night, Soobin had come over to your apartment to eat dinner. You were usually able to run off after dinner under the guise that you needed to use the bathroom. Tonight, however, Soobin had become suspicious when you took longer than usual. He goes over to knock on the door but before he can even do that, he panics when he hears you crying and throwing up. He opens the door immediately and lets himself in. He looks really sad and even helps you clean up when you finally stop. You can;t help but open up to him when you see the pain in his face after watching you do this to yourself. He does his best to understand and help you get better, suggesting you talk to someone about this. He is really supporting you on your recovery journey. 
Beomgyu
This one hits a little close to home 😕
he isn’t super observant about your eating habits but he definitely notices when the snacks start to kind of disappear from the pantry. And it wasn’t just them going like normal, they were going a lot faster than normal. You usually only go out shopping for snacks once a week but have been going every three days lately. It was worrying him. Not so much because he was worried you’d gain weight, not in the slightest. He was worried because he was thinking you were going through something and weren’t wanting to tell him.
When you get home from work one afternoon, you see him in the kitchen at the dinner table. You were so excited to see him since he was usually still at work during this time. He looked worried and he asked you to sit down, so you did. He didn’t beat around the bush and straight up told you about his observations. It made you feel angry at first. Why was he bringing this up? Did you gain weight? Was he calling you fat? But then he explained why he even brought it up and that he just wanted to help. You broke out into tears and told him all about what was going on in your life at the moment and how eating made you feel comfortable. He totally understood and offered to help you work through it in different ways since snacking wasn’t the best idea. You accept his help and it starts to feel better
Taehyun
How dare his pretty girl think she’s ugly? He just can’t fathom why you would starve yourself or even think that you’re not good enough for some reason. He always does his best to combat this by complimenting you as often as he can and making sure he keeps track of whether you’ve eaten or not. He knows it’s a little frustrating for you when he’s constantly asking you if you’ve eaten but it’s just before he cares and he doesn’t want you to get sick. 
in this scenario…it was a few days until your wedding. you had been trying to hide it but you haven’t eaten much over the last week, causing you to feel weak. When the day finally came, you fainted as you were getting your hair done. Everyone in the room with you was panicking and they called taehyun to come help you wake up. He made sure to pick up some snacks from his dressing room and some water for you to drink. He had an itching feeling that you were starving yourself but didn’t want to accuse you of anything. When you wake up, he’s sitting over you with a worried look. “Oh dear. You’re awake. You had us all worried. I think I know why this happened though.” You had a guilty look on your face and he already knew what happened. He convinces you that you need to eat something now so you don’t feel weak on your guy's big day. He’s so proud watching you eat your snack and drink water and he makes his feelings known. 
Huening Kai
He is very caring and sweet and always knows when something is wrong with his girl. He started to worry when it was Wednesday and he hadn't seen you eat or heard about anything you've eaten since Monday night. He knew it was only a day but he was so worried. He didn't want you to go without eating. luckily, he'd planned to hang out with you tonight after schedules! he picks up your favorite meal and drinks for you to eat when he arrives. 
he gets there and knocks. when you open the door you hug him and give him a kiss hello but you kind of start to change in demeanor when you see the bags of food he had. you hadn't let yourself eat in the last two days and the sight of food was just too much for you at the moment. All you could think of when you tried to eat was being laughed at by a group of girls your age who were making comments of your weight when walking down the street. you finally break down and kai follows you, leaving the food at the table. He finally gets you to let him hold you, let him wipe away your tears. you tell him everything and he was so good at just listening. He coaxes you back to the table and even feeds you if it makes you feel more comforted.
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hxney-lemcn · 8 months ago
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This is Home — Osamu Dazai x gn! reader
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summary: reader and Dazai's bond grows, feelings are revealed and Dazai shows a rare moment of vulnerability.
tw: mention of Dazai being suicidal, slight angst (mostly fluff), slight hurt/comfort
a/n: I hope I didn't write Dazai's character wrong. He's such a complicated character and I made him super lovesick so oops. Also this is super self indulgent (tbf I always write the reader in relation to how I would act).
wc: 3.3k
Master List
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Your life outside of work wasn’t too exciting. After coming home from a stressful day of talking down a hostage situation or tracking down a criminal ability user, you were grateful for the peace you found at home. The Armed Detective Agency wasn’t what you expected to do as your career, but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, after dealing with troubling situations all the time, laying down in bed and watching whatever managed to keep your attention was all the more gratifying. 
It was funny looking back, when you had been afraid of growing up lonely and bored. You got more than enough excitement at work, and you almost saw your colleagues as family. You truly loved them, they were everything (which was a bit sad but you digress), but you also enjoyed the tranquility of your home. The time you had to yourself was something you always appreciated. 
Today was one of those rare peaceful days. It was the weekend and you all were given a much needed day off. You had been letting your top coat dry, being careful as you scrolled through your phone, tv playing something in the background. Your pet cat laid peacefully on your feet, her cute little head snuggling into your legs. Days like these were your favorite. The weight of your job was lifted momentarily, soaking in as much of this relaxing feeling as possible. 
What you hadn’t fully expected (you can never underestimate what he’d do) was for Dazai to pop into your bedroom…at least he had the decency to knock on your bedroom door before entering. How did he get into your apartment? Lock picking. He totally lock picked your door. Much to his amusement, you hadn’t even batted an eye at his appearance. He hadn’t done this before, but from the way he acted around you in the office, this was bound to happen. Your only grief was that your cat had jumped away in apprehension of the ‘stranger’. 
Dazai let out a gasp, eyes starry as he noticed the nail care products that were on your bed stand, “You do your own nails? I always thought you got them professionally done.”
“Nah,” You shrugged. “You think I have the money or time for all that? I’ve been doing my own nails for as long as I can remember.”
“You’re so talented,” Dazai praised, jumping onto your bed next to you. Taking one of your hands in his own, he took in your work, even though it was just one color he was staring like it was the most fascinating artwork he’s ever seen.
“Want me to do yours?” You asked, unsure why he was so enraptured with your usual nails. You always tried to keep them nice. You could neglect any other aspect of your health, but you always tried to keep your nails looking good. You weren’t sure why, but maintaining them was relaxing, as well as a routine that calms you down. 
“Would you really,” Dazai gasps, now clasping your hand in his, an exciting grin dazzling his beautiful features. “You spoil me truly, Abelia.” That was something only Dazai called you. His fawning over women had slowly fizzled out, the pet name belladonna long forgotten. Instead, he had turned that attention towards you tenfold. If someone needed Dazai (mainly Kunikida), the first place they’d look was wherever you were. He would constantly drap himself over you, complimenting you and fawning over you. It was weird, you weren’t used to such attention, but you had started to look forward to the next time you’d see Dazai. You soaked up any and all attention he was willing to give you, while he had been doing the same. 
You looked up Abelia, unsure what that was. It was a plant, just like belladonna. But except being the name of deadly nightshade, it was a flowering plant, a part of the honeysuckle family. It was a unique, but heartwarming nickname that you had grown fond of quicker than you’d like to admit. It was hard for you to fully comprehend if Dazai actually was interested in you, or if this was his weird way of showing you affection. Although as mentioned earlier, he had stopped his flirting with women altogether, which made you wonder if he was okay (he’s just whipped for you). 
“You can pick out any color you want,” You motioned to the small rack of nail polish you owned. You had more than you needed, but that gave Dazai a wide variety. You watched him, the warmth in your eyes clear as he made a show of what color to pick.
“Ahh what do I choose?” He sighed, hands pointing to different colors. “There’s so much to choose from.” Suddenly, he perked up, picking up a color and quickly sliding up to you. A grin formed on your face as he waved the sparkly pink color in front of your face. 
“I’m warning you now, those sparkles are a pain to get off,” You warned, grabbing your nail file and cuticle cutters. “I had to scrape them off even after all the nail polish was already gone.”
“All the more reason,” Dazai smiled, watching as you fully turned towards him. Dazai didn’t hesitate when you held your hand out towards him, placing his in yours. Your touch always warmed him in a way he hadn’t felt before, the simplicity of your routines is what drew him in. That wasn’t to say you were boring, it’s just all he had known was chaos. If he wasn’t the center of chaos, he would create it. You were the complete opposite. You gave Dazai a taste of something he thought wasn’t meant for him, and he was slowly becoming dependent on you to show him more. A world that isn’t bloody and terrible, a world where he can be loved even with the terrible things that he’s done. A world where he’s with you. 
Dazai didn’t pay any attention to the tv, warm chocolate eyes watching your every movement. How you gently filed his nails into a nice looking oval shape (he couldn’t believe how better they looked just after the first step). How your eyes would dart to the tv every so often to keep up. How you made sure he wasn’t hurt when you clipped his cuticles, he was in slight awe at how you made it look so easy. Finally you put on the base coat. It had been thirty minutes and Dazai was already feeling a bit antsy. Sitting still wasn’t really his style even though he could be the laziest motherfucker alive. You were just so close, and he felt like it was a crime that he hasn’t held you close yet.
Even though Dazai knew his feelings for you ran deeper than they should, he hadn’t been able to tell you. Yes…he was kind of obvious, but he could tell that you would always interpret his affection as nothing but friendly. It was amusing and frustrating at the same time. He wanted to move past this stage, for you to be his, and him yours. Yet he was held back, knowing he didn’t deserve such kindness. How many people has he killed that wanted the same? How many people has he killed that had that warmth, only to extinguish it? 
At the end of the day, he still felt that hollow feeling. He didn’t really care about whomever he killed, they were just blank faces adding to a number. That alone made him feel guilty, because he knows you wouldn’t see it as such. You were so kind, kind enough to see a monster like him and care. He’s been shown the light time and time again within the ADA, and you only furthered that. At first it was hard for Dazai to understand the difference between the brutality of the Port Mafia and the ADA, but it slowly became clearer over time. You had been the nail in the coffin, showing him the true beauty of protecting someone. You had become a shoulder to cry on for many victims, almost crying with them sometimes, sharing their pain. He didn’t understand how you did it, but he’s trying to learn. 
That antsy feeling in Dazai slowly rose, the way you gently treated him as you continued to apply the polish to his nails only fueling the feeling further. That warm, fluttery feeling was getting worse and you were his outlet. Oh how he wanted to hug you, cuddle you, squeeze you tight to get those feelings out of his systems. What a predicament he put himself in. 
“Careful!” You gasped, holding his hands still with wide eyes. “I just put on the top coat, you gotta let it dry.”
“How long will that take?” Dazai whined, a pout forming on his pretty lips. 
“A while,” You replied, waving his hands to help them air dry a bit faster. “I don’t have an exact time, I mostly just wing it. When you can tap your nails without them sticking to each other is when they’re completely dry.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” He whined again, dramatically swaying as you continued to hold his hands still. “How am I supposed to live without you in my arms?”
“You survived 22 years,” You teased back, a sly grin on your face (Dazai thought he was going to die at the sight). “I’m sure you’ll live.”
“You’re so cold,” Dazai bemoaned, tilting his head back (but making sure his hands never left yours). You found yourself stuck holding Dazai’s hands until his nails fully dried. You had almost let go and he nearly ruined all your precious work. It was nearly dinner by the time his nails dried, and you found yourself making plans with him. 
“Take out or should I actually try to make something?” You pondered, looking into your fridge to see if the latter was even possible.
“Take out,” Dazai replied instantly. Glancing at him, you watched as he beckoned you towards your couch, arms stretched out like a child asking for a hug. Although this was the first time either of you had done anything like this before, it felt completely natural, almost like this was how it was always supposed to be. 
“Alright,” You shrugged, closing your fridge and approaching the man that took up your couch. “I’m kinda craving pizza, what about you?”
“Pizza is fine,” He mumbled, gently pulling you to lay on top of him. You felt yourself fluster slightly, unused to such an intimate hold. Yes Dazai would cling to you almost 24/7, but this was in the privacy of your home, and without the company of your friends that kept you grounded, it felt like the moment was more tender.
Taking out your phone to the best of your abilities, you kept making sure Dazai was okay with your decisions (he would eat dirt with you if you asked). After you confirmed everything, he had started playing with your hair, making almost completely melt into him (he had quickly found your weakness). Dazai watched with fondness as your eyes fluttered as he scratched gently at your scalp, it was so cute how you tried to act so nonchalantly (it worked greatly to his advantage that you were also touch starved). 
At that moment, it felt like your relationship with the suicidal detective had shifted. An understanding washing over the both of you. You had both been the others this entire time, you both were just too cowardly to speak it outloud. The warmth in your chest hurt so nicely, enjoying every second that Dazai’s nimble fingers twirled your hair around, never wanting him to stop. Unfortunately for you both, the pizza arrived quickly, causing you to pry yourself off Dazai as he tried to tangle you into him further.
“I have to get the pizza,” You grumbled, the more responsible of the two.
“Fine,” Dazai relented, allowing you to stand up properly. 
You couldn’t hide the lovesick grin on your face as Dazai showed everyone his nails the next work day. Atsushi complimented him, albeit hesitantly, asking when you did them. Dazai held the most shit eating grin when he mentioned you both hung out over the weekend, causing Atsushi to sweat. The look on Atsushi’s face as he looked at you read ‘my condolences’. 
If you thought Dazai was clingy before, he was basically a leech at this point. That day had changed him, and he found himself becoming more selfish. He wanted to call you his. He wanted to be yours so badly, the thought of you both sharing more domestic moments consumed him. 
Such a moment happened after work. Dazai was feeling particularly romantic, and who was he to deny you such affection? You deserved the world and he would give you no less. He brought you to a park, a thick blanket and a bag of food for you two to share (he sadly couldn’t find a picnic basket in time). Since your work day ended at five, the park wasn’t too full. Parents were starting to take their kids home and some people were having their evening jog. Dazai had brought you to a more quiet area, placing the blanket beneath a tree. 
You felt flattered at the amount of attention Dazai had put into this. The blanket was a nice thickness so it wasn’t super uncomfortable to sit on the ground, the foods were your favorites and Dazai currently held a chocolate covered strawberry up to your mouth.
“Say ahh~” He giggled, clearly amused with the situation. You opened your mouth hesitantly, feeling embarrassed at the situation. This wasn’t the first time someone’s fed you something, albeit it wasn’t often, this scenario was more intimate then anything you had experienced. 
“Is this a date?” You couldn’t help but ask after you swallowed the berry (it was delicious). Normally you’d shy away if the topic was brought up, but at the moment you couldn’t find it in yourself too. After that domestic day, the way Dazai treated you was warmer than normal, and it felt 100% genuine. He had desensitized you to the notion of dating him, and it seemed to work in your favor. 
“If you want it to be,” Dazai hummed, grin widening.
“I don’t mind,” You replied, picking up a sandwich. “As long as that’s also what you want.” 
His heart fluttered, an occurrence that had become normal in your presence. The fact that you wanted his full consent, even though he’s the one that planned it warmed him. You were so sweet he could feel his teeth rot. If anything, he should be asking you if you really wanted this. Even though you knew he was an ex-Port Mafia executive, he didn’t think you truly understood the sins he had committed. What he’s done without a second thought. The sadistic acts he did for fun. You had nearly cried over a song about a rat being killed, how would you react if you heard the details of his crimes?
You had sensed the change in Dazai’s demeanor. The shine in his eyes dulled, even if everything else hadn’t changed. He suddenly looked drained, the eye bags under his eyes were dark. At first you were worried that he didn’t want to date you, but that thought seemed silly. It then dawned on you that the charming, lovely Dazai might have been feeling inadequate. 
“Of course,” Dazai smiled, masking his feelings as quickly as they appeared. “I would be honored to be yours, Abelia.” He grabbed both of your hands, holding them up to his cheek as he swooned dramatically. A smile tugged at your lips as you noticed the polish on his nails, they had slightly chipped, but they were still nearly intact. 
Sliding one of your hands out of his grip, you caressed his cheek (a bold move on your part), “You know I care for you, right?” His dark eyes widened, a small blush rising over his cheekbones. Your thumb gently rubbed his cheek as he kept your other hand clutched in his own. 
“You shouldn’t,” Dazai muttered, letting you see a fraction of how he felt. He wasn’t sure why he admitted such a vulnerable thought so quickly. It was like the honesty in your eyes had compelled him to tell you the truth.
A frown tugged at your lips, unwavering adoration filling you, “Everyone deserves someone to care for them.”
The determination in your eyes, your kindness, it had all caused Dazai to turn into a gooey mess on the inside. You said such astounding things with such a strong truth. He knew you meant what said.
“Everyone?” Dazai repeated, raising an eyebrow, trying to lighten the atmosphere. 
You paused, thinking of some bad people from history that were definitely not worthy, but decided to stand strong (or your defense could easily be dismantled), “Everyone.” You noticed that the shine of despair still clouded in his eyes, his smile unwavering. That’s when you realized he truly didn’t think he deserved to be loved and cared for. Taking your other hand out of his grasp, you held his face in your hands, a seriousness taking over you.
“You may have done bad things, you may have hurt people, but you’ve changed,” You stated, staring deeply into his eyes in hope to get through to him. “And as long as you try to be good, to atone for what you’ve done, then you deserve a second chance. Osamu Dazai, you are not a bad person, and you deserve to be loved.”
The formidable Osamu Dazai, the carefree, lazy, unbreakable, cunning Dazai had cracked. And you, sweet, loving, caring, kind you had been the one who managed to break him. He had never expected to hear such kind words aimed towards him, he never had expected to show anyone his guilt he carried. He never expected to have someone like you in his life, who would love unconditionally. He thought people like that were fools who were oblivious to the horrors of the world, but you fought frontline and still smiled and loved ceaselessly. 
A bittersweet look fell onto your face, and when he felt your thumbs brush something wet away from his cheek, he realized he was crying. Something he had never done in front of someone else. He supposes it was a sign of how deeply he trusted you, when he thought you couldn’t get any kinder, you had shown him that some people simply didn’t have evil in them. Yes you could be selfish, no you weren’t perfect, he knew you were insecure and sometimes your kindness was due to you being a people pleaser. He had seen you become devastated at the thought of someone not liking you, how you’d do something for someone at your own expense because you want them to be happy. For someone who was extremely independent, you were still quite dependent on others' views on you, for someone so trusting, it was hard for you to fully trust someone.
“This was supposed to be a romantic date,” Dazai sighed, a small pout on his lips.
“I think this went quite well,” You replied. You smiled gently as you lifted a strawberry up to Dazai’s mouth. “Say ahh~”
Dazai couldn’t hold back his delighted giggles, happily chomping on the strawberry you offered him. He felt lighter than he ever had, who knew telling someone your problems could make you feel better, even if it's just slightly (get therapy man, it works). You had managed to endear yourself even more to the bandaged man (if that was even possible). If you wanted to get rid of him now good luck, he wasn’t letting you go anytime soon.
If only he could mutter those three words that rested at the tip of his tongue.
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kanmom51 · 11 months ago
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It's been over a week
And I'm still trying to digest and come to terms with it.
I know I said that I take comfort in them being together, and I got to say, that is a big big help in dealing with their departure, and yet, can't help but be sad and worry like a mom that just sent her kids off to the army.
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Watching JM's live with JK's that followed (a few hours later and after their family dinner) was heart wrenching. JM struggling with his shaved hair was heartbreaking.
This clearly was not easy for them.
JM the next day (in the BTB).
I can't help but wonder, after the initial annoyance of getting a minute or a little more from the two's enlistment day, if the whole thing was just too emotional and more than what they themselves wanted to share publicly.
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Again, seeing how JM is struggling, and JK knowing and comforting him. That look on JM's face when JK does that. Ugh, how I wish they didn't have to go through this. But they did. They are. And now it's time to come to terms with it.
I guess having lived it, done the army thing, gone through basic training and military service I have a little more insight as to what they will be going through, and that also gives me some comfort, because yes, it's going to be hard, both the physical and mental aspects of it. The structure, the loss of individuality, the harsh physical and mental training. But, a. they are 2 of the most driven people I have seen, a work ethic and a need to excel, and they will attack this (so to speak) no differently; b. they have been through so much getting to where they have gotten. Yes, the structure is a little different, but they are no strangers to being in a structured environment, told what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Basically, they are used to doing what they are told. Strenuous physical activity is no stranger to them as well. Experiencing struggles teaches you that you can prevail. Teaches you that you are strong enough to get through it. Teaches you that there is a light at the end of that tunnel. And knowing that, at times of hardship, can mean everything to the person going through that.
Their age, being mostly older than others enlisting (most do so at 18-21) has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages being having that insight and life experience that they have, especially starting their careers at such a young age. Disadvantage being that at this age they are all grown up, as in mostly know who they are, what they want to do with their life. Having to leave all of that at the door is not easy and takes adjusting to. But they are resilient. And their life experience and struggles they went through over the years will, as mentioned, definitley help them get through this as well.
For my sanity and mental well being I'm going to ignore the geo-political fuckery going on right now. Does willing things not to happen make them not happen? I'm going to go with yes on this. Don't you dare contradict me here. Let me live in my fantasy world at least on this one.
So yeah, it definitely won't be easy. Having each other's back there will definitley help, although having to keep their hands off each other in public will definitley be a challenge they will have to deal with. I digress. They will be ok. They have each other. They will get through this, and who knows, perhaps at some point (probably not basic training, cause that sucks) they might even enjoy their service (enjoy what they will be doing, feel satisfaction in their contribution to their country, who knows...).
And yet, knowing all of this, I'm still sad.
Because I already miss the shit out of them.
And it's kind of funny, because I know there is plenty of content coming up, including actual Jikook content, like just the two of them without the group as a buffer content, and that is definitely something to look forward to. And it's not like we were seeing them on a daily or even weekly basis before they enlisted (there were periods of time we were parched with them not to be seen or heard from for ages).
But this feels different. I guess knowing that even if they wanted to reach out, at the moment, they can't. Knowing that there isn't a chance of a JK restaurant visit popping up, or a surprise live makes it all so very real.
I'm not going to do the day counting. For me, that makes dealing with it harder. Maybe when we are down to two digits, definitely not before. I think I will just sit back, enjoy the new content they share with us, go through old content (there is so much out there, enough to definitely get me through the next 18 months, sob sob).
As for myself, well I'm not going anywhere.
Yes, I have something going on right now and am posting less often, but I'm still here, still around and will be posting and answering your messages.
We will all get through this together.
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onelocket · 1 year ago
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cuddles, please?
sick fyodor d. x sick reader
requested by -- sweet anon! (click here for more context)
involves -- domestic relationship, a touch starved gn reader, scenario held place in summer & possible russian mistakes ;_;
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headcanons
you feel as if it was your fault sometimes
Because each one brings you a shock, honestly. How was Fyodor also sick with you? One day you just woke up to the sound of him quietly blowing his nose on a tissue, jolting yourself up to sit as you see him sat on the desk, head turned to you in surprise of your wake.
“I’m sorry, milaya. Did I wake you?”
“…Fyodor? Wait- why are you sick?!”
‘Why’ as if he wanted it in the first place. Your sad little face and teary eyes would make him a little startled at first—perhaps even a bit amused as the process went ahead, but eventually would he coo to you how he’s okay, and that it wasn’t your fault regardless if you had the fever first.
endless mutual worry and care
Now that you both were sick, it was kind of hard to balance out who should take over for who. But now, it’s as if the care rocks back and forth a little too quickly… yet who were you to complain? He didn’t seem to complain either.
“Really, (Name). I’ll be okay. I’ll make us a cup of tea, you sit there.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do all the work.” You frown out, peeking from his behind as he was already holding two cups. “Mm.. how about I make you your cup while you make mine? I promise to add your jam..” You deal out, a small smile copying his that eventually came out too.
“Want me to tell you a Russian bedtime story?”
Sometimes, when the nights were difficult to sleep through and boring since you still don’t get to hold Fyodor because of his ‘reasons’, you end up staying awake in these hours. He obviously realizes this, at first just watching you in hopes you’d close your eyes at it. But when you just can’t,
“Mm, (Name). Come closer.” He whispered, catching your attention.
“Yes, why?” You ask, although doing as told whilst you scoot closer, both of you on your sides as you look up at him curiously. “Will you finally give me a hug?”
He shook his head, but before you get to complain again—“I want to tell you a bedtime story. Would you like me to?” he strikes up the question, earning your excited nod.
Those nights end up easier to go through as you hear his lovely, addicting voice. You’d, albeit faint, sometimes hear him say ‘Я тебя люблю’ a lot during the ending of each story, sometimes even hear it add up with ‘так сильно’ after the ‘Я’, which made you really curious about what he actually said. Unbeknownst to you though, your lover was saying ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you so much’.
you’re too cute for him to resist.. sometimes…
Despite how you know Fyodor prefers to be warm, he actually denies your touch still, reasoning that “We’ll sweat together” or “I might cough on you”. Personally you saw these reasons unlikely of him, but instead of arguing, you improvised.
“Fyodor… I want to take a nap.” You whine out, placing your head carefully on his lap as he sits there leaning on the bed frame, gazing at the afternoon sky.
“Then nap,” He replied, tilting his head though still not facing you. “You want to sleep there, don’t you? Just this once, milaya.”
“Hehe, okay.”
You knew he knew your tricks, but if he lets you? You’ll take it all the way. It made him happy too, seeing you want him even if he already said for you to feel otherwise.
scenario
“(Name), you shouldn’t use your phone so often.” You hear whilst you do as digressed—finger scrolling through the endless sea of posts and rants your friends flocked your feed with.
Despite summer being this new opportunity for a big blank canvas to paint with vibrant and eye catchy colors, they’re instead using their time to click through letters upon letters and share rants about how they’d be doing better things right now like ‘making life more colorful’. What irony, huh?
Speaking of, what about you? Why were you scrolling through these rants? Well, you had your reasons. One of which was because of somebody’s state right now.
“I’ll be okay, Fyodor..” You whine out, rolling on your back as the soft mattress hugs it just right, you able to let out a quiet sound of satisfaction from it whilst you kept your hands on the phone.
It’s only been a few minutes since you even had your phone screen unlocked, so you found it quite irritating that he was already telling you to get off. “Meanwhile, I personally think that you stop worrying and get-” You’d trail, momentarily pausing when you hear Fyodor’s coughing interrupt you; “…more rest.” finishing with a sigh.
“Mm, and what does that make you, milaya?” He replied, slowly putting down his hand which was just covering his mouth a few seconds ago. “Aren’t you going to rest?”
“I don’t want to.” You pout, once again rolling against your stomach as you swing your feet up and down, your toes hitting the pillows. But you weren’t that petty to hit your lover, so you also slowed down a bit, turning your head back to him. “I can’t find my eyes sleeping.”
“That’s because you’re on your phone.” He points out with a small gesture, his own head tilting to the side before he sighed—“My.. come here.” patting the spot beside him whilst he carefully sat up. You wondered if you should play around a little with your boyfriend, but because he was sick, you denied the taunt.
So you press your palms on the bed sheets as you get yourself sat up, one hand moving to click your phone shut. You crawl back to Fyodor, pout softening to a normal gaze as you considered to hold him, but his body language didn’t seem to match the thought. Instead you sit beside him, hugging your knees a little.
“You’re upset with me, (Name). Isn’t that right?” He cooed, a finger delicately brushing strands of hair away from your face as your cheeks peach up, although react no further than that. “Why should I be?” You question, fingers finding themselves holding onto your kneecaps.
“Let’s see… because I keep refusing to hold you?” He immediately had a response to, a soft smile on his face. To the normal sight, Fyodor might even be seen as charming and such a gentleman for smiling like that for his lover, but to you—oh you knew… that his smile was definitely a taunting, teasing one.
You groaned at the knowledge, a frown coming back rather than a pout. “I don’t understand why not? We’re both sick.” You tampered, tapping onto the bedsheets like an impatient customer.
“That’s exactly why.” He replied almost in a fake surprised voice, putting his hand down as he picked up the bottle of sanitizer on the bedside table, spraying alcohol on the hand that he coughed on earlier before showing the bottle to indirectly ask if you want to do the same. You take it, mainly so that he can rub both of his hands together. But you also end up spraying a bit on your hands, plopping the bottle on the beside table on your side before facing him again.
“What do you mean ‘that’s exactly why’? I want to hug you, Fyodor. It doesn’t matter if you’re sweaty! Don’t you wanna warm up from the air conditioning?” You contrast, spreading your hands a little in desperate request for his hug. “You know it’s you who’s the main reason why I hug you, not just because of how it feels.” You even add, hoping it’d move his heart.
He quietly chuckles at your claim, which honestly boosted up your hopes… for a moment, until you see his gaze back to normal without even a hint of change in his answer. What- did he seriously just laugh at you because he takes pity on your desperation?
“O-or just forget it..” You scoff out, your arms crossing each other as you turn around, your stuffy nose deciding that now would be the great time to embarrass you as you sniffle, although try to hold it back just to appear more… oh, what even was the proper word?
You were just petty. And upset that you can’t hold your lover. “I don’t need your hug anymore.” You add whilst laying down, to which you wouldn’t know how it’d affect him as your back was turned to him.
He was quiet for a little bit—Fyodor resting on his elbow with a faint smile as he indulged a bit more into your reaction. You were always either so attractive or so cute to him, now being the latter as he moved his elbow away, lying down on his side with his body facing you.
You refused to initiate the talk again, although your arms would slowly fall back from crossing each other, pressing against the smooth mattress as you hum in delight.
At least the bedsheets felt nice. It was one of the more lighter coverings, one silkier and nice to the touch so it’d ease the both of you to sleep.
And it worked exactly as it’s purpose.
Before you and even Fyodor knew, he’d hear quiet snoring coming from you, your body’s tension gone and melted as the cold of your air conditioning eased the sweat off.
His smile fades, although face keeping a soft look on it while he thought, “I couldn’t even get to move yet… but you’re already sound asleep.” left to look at your beautiful hair and your back hinting your slow breathing.
But quickly would he grow sleepy of watching you, his eyes glancing at the door for a bit before they fall back to you.
He planned to go outside the bedroom to get a hot cup of tea, even more so excited earlier as he thought of sharing the sudden idea with you, but found himself discarding it.
“Tomorrow..” Fyodor tells himself, closing his lips as he moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as careful as possible without you waking up.
He’d close his eyes at your scent, his love for your smell never leaving even if the both of you were sick. At that moment, he had genuinely hated how his nose was stuffy as well—loathing it to disappear just so he can indulge more in you.
But him in your arms was enough. To see you asleep and peaceful kept him calm and satisfied.
Fyodor scoots closer so his head meets your shoulder, resting it there comfortably as he kept you warm. “Good night, (Name).” He hummed out, pressing a kiss on your shoulder before rubbing your skin softly with his thoughts lingering—“Get well soon for me. Because I’d rather see you feel better than see anything else right now.”
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