#but i can see this is like. an active effort to make sure im comfortable too so i can appreciate that. thank u for the ask!

[ruporas]

hi, saw that ask about proshipping, could you explain what you mean by "tag inappropriately"?

yeah sure! using trigun as example, there's just one ship (k/v) that makes me uncomfortable for a lot of general + personal reasons and as far as i'm aware, pro/shippers tend to engage with that pairing the most. since i tend to look at the tags on my art, if i happen to post knives and vash in just exploring their strictly familial / platonic bond and see in the tags it's tagged inappropriately as a ship, it'd make me upset and uncomfortable.

bc ppl can see charas interact and sometimes assume its romantic even if that's not the artist's intent; that's just a natural thing that happens and it's understandable, hence my answer to that ask being to just lessen the chance of it being tagged inappropriately.

generally, i dont really care who follows me, i'm just more concerned about the tagging/replies part bc that's what i can actually see. if my wish for some chara interactions (and i tend to explicitly state in the artwork caption if it's the case) to not be tagged/interpreted as romantic can be respected, then it's fine for anyone to interact with it. hope that makes sense!

[kroosluvr]

temptation

i lowkey have too many notes to write down properly KDFHKDS but ill write them down for Future Cele so i can read it later and be like omggg past cele ur so fun and interesting

in general, the more "color" the scenes have, the closer it is to "real life" as opposed to the muted/hushed winter blues of maruki's reality

i.e. the dark frames w akira smiling and the very last panel are when reality sinks in: first for akira, then for goro

by the way this is long winter au but sumire is still brainwashed. this also works for canonverse but i just had long winter au in mind:o

youve heard of laundry and taxes now get ready for coffee and pastries

in every panel, akira is smiling! :) and goro is very much not smiling.

intentionally his face is hidden in the last 2 pages so its unclear whether it's the "ideal reality" already (akira/goro's daydreams/wants/desires), or if goro is still fighting akira on making sure he picks the right choice

the smoke from the first page kinda leads into the 3rd page omfg COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL BUT REALLY COOL LMAOOO

that's nameless and belladonna in jazz jin!!! i love them. I LOVETHEM. i miss them so bad is it obvious

the cafe is loosely based off of caffe strada @ uc berkeley LMAO. my parents used to take me there a lot as a little kid so that's the first cafe i think of when i imagine one. its like right on the streetside, basically on the sidewalk, so its very bustling and people are always walking by... probably a little disconcerting to see everyones summery bright smiles despite the bitter cold and snow

in long winter AU, the Ideal Reality starts before 1/1 so yeah they get to see the new years fireworks together (or something)

also intentional that they wear the same winter outfits in the whole comic although it Probably does not take place at the same time. in maruki's snowglobe, time seems frozen in place... but akira and goro are both acutely aware that the sands are running thru QUICK

goro's frustrated expression on page 3 is one also of disdain: "don't speak FOR me you fucking imbecile" type of expression.

goro, who's never lived a normal life and therefore doesn't know much abt "normalcy" nor really actively seeks it. this 3rd semester is basically purgatory for him and he doesn't care to try and go through the motions the way akira does. akira what do YOU know about the type of "normalcy" i deserve? how do YOU know if i "deserve" that?

im thinking that this is a naive akira who is mostly set on taking the deal because he feels hopeless... seeing all his friends with good happy lives while goro and himself are alive and miserable and shouldering the weight of the world during the horror of long winter......

oh but if he takes the deal they could all be good and alive and happy!!!.... and goro knows this. i feel like in any other universe (i.e. akira is 100% certain on not taking the deal and goro knows this) then goro would be happy and carefree to do these little indulgences for himself and akira's sake, to just enjoy the snowglobe world while it exists.

but this goro is discontent. he sees how akira is enjoying the snowglobe and knows maruki is depending on this. goro has to be the one to remind akira that none of this is his to keep........ in this fucked up world, routine is dangerous. becoming comfortable is dangerous. they cannot keep any of this.

on that note, goro says "i hate you" in a halfhearted sort of way (it's not true and akira knows that.) but he's trying to think of a way that he can dissuade akira from picking the wrong choice.....

and i think the thing is, goro thinks all of this, but he still falls into the rhythm of routine with akira anyway. in a way, goro feels hopeless too.

all of this is maruki's doing........ paralyzed by the inability to choose... whatever you do, you lose. goro needs to hold akira at arm's length so the stupid sentimental fool doesn't get too attached and falls into the wrong universe. akira needs to make a concentrated effort to detach himself from goro even though he wants the simplest thing in the world: just one more unremarkable day with him. it's lose-lose..........,

also i liked drawing the tentacles in the last pic the freaking blue lines on them were SO satisfying to draw

edit: also the last page: the blood flooding the panel….. the idea of the ideal world being built off of the blood and sweat and tears and bodies of the people who could have been. of those lost in the actualization, of those destroyed, of those stitched together and brought back to life. all just for a little false happiness. goro sees it but akira doesn’t, and it’s a grim sight.

[puckpocketed]

So do you actually believe PLD is a good player or is that part of the bit?

The PLD Post

i spent a good 2 days giggling about this to friends. i cant tell if ur a curious caps fan, a person who knows me from my other teams, a disgruntled kings fan (i’ve mostly ruled this out because im pretty sure i know all of the active ones on here) or WHAT. but i’m laughing. the tone of this ask is hilarious and vaguely accusatory but i will take it in good faith and answer <3 tl;dr yes and no. he’s better than people think he is rn, but he’s likely never going to live up to the potential of his tools unless something . idk. recalibrates his entire being. who knows!

i was working on something longer and more complex but i thought about it for more than 5 seconds and i REFUSE to go hockey-bro mode and pull out the microstats and i don’t wanna make this into a full on PLD manifesto. so. caps girlies (gn) HERE are your adoption papers under the cut!

if you are looking at pierre luc dubois who is 6’4 + 220lb and thinking “Oh he’s a power forward” i have to inform you he is in fact THEEE smallest mouse to ever play hockey in the whole world and in all of history. he sips nectar out of a thimble and sleeps curled up in a match box and goes fishing in a boat made from nutshells and twigs . he’s big, but he sort of plays small.

this is not necessarily a bad thing — he relies on foot speed and skill over hitting.

he can throw hits but prefers to stick check. he leverages his big frame to guard the puck and to defend, and it makes him simultaneously VERY effective and very much what i like to call a Nexus Of Crime. he is either drawing ten thousand penalties because people have to do something to stop him from driving the net with speed OR he is taking ten thousand penalties because he gets eager in the corners.

PLUS he’s huge and refs do just assume he’s committing a crime when they can’t see what’s going on <3 hence, Nexus Of Crime! if there’s a penalty he’s probably involved LMAO

not a “dirty” player by any means. not physical unless he decides he wants to. and there is no violence inside of him unless he’s deeply horsebonded to his team <- IMPORTANT re; playoffs aspirations. you won’t see him put himself on the line simply for the love of the game, he HAS to be committed to the team.

to be committed to his team… i’m honestly not sure what that takes. i’d guess a combination of knowing his role on the ice and in the locker room (this was very unclear on lak) consistency of messaging from coaches (also seemed to be an issue on lak)

i know nothing about caps coaching or management or the team vibes but i’m sure you can fix him <3 i’m ready to fall in love and ride this team to the sunset

this failhorse will NOT shoot the puck and if he does it will be the saddest soggiest most pathetic shot you’ve ever seen. you will tear your hair out in chunks if you watch him expecting an elite goalscorer.

he’s a pass-first guy. likes to drop pass! likes to drive play from the middle but is also capable of getting pucks off the boards. he needs a finisher on his wing. i could pull up stats here, there are stats to be pulled up, but i know this in my HEART from watching dozens of kings games: he would have had 10-15 more points easily if he wasn’t stapled to the 3rd line and had better finishers. many times i watched him tee up a very good opportunity only for his guy to miss the net or fan or just get knocked off the puck

individually, he thrives in front of the net. his ass is fat and he’s about to use it to screen the goalie. hes good at catching loose pucks in the crease to send them home <3 see his performance at worlds. he scored basically all of his goals right up there!!

most media coverage/narratives will tell you his point production dropped off bc of effort (which is true) but even the MOST resentful kings watchers will say pld wasn’t given his best shot playing with inexperienced+fringe nhlers, being line shuffled the moment he got a bit comfortable, and also not getting ANY net front time on the lak pp. i factor this into all my judgements of his performance.

He’s def earned his diva rep LMAO!! this is personal opinion here but he seems like a sensitive and easily rattled little clam… like he will have a couple of bad shifts and if there’s nobody there to shake him out of it he’ll lose his grasp on the game and play like shit <3 a rolling joke on kingstwt was figuring out which PLD we were getting that game, and you could tell by his 5th if he was switched on or off!!

they hate him for this but EYE think this is nothing new for athletes and if he can consistently stay in the zone he’ll probably be pretty good. mental fortitude of a wet tissue my beloved….

moving onto the Vibes section!! he was always good humoured in media availability and didn’t shy away from scrums even when public opinion soured against him and critiques of both his hockey and his character had reached a fever pitch. i like this about him. he always gave authentic answers and tried his best to accomodate them, and never hid behind his captains.

he gets along quite well with teammates despite the narratives. no seriously!! some of the the kings had a hang out during off-season right before they went to worlds!! there’s bisexual lighting!!!!

there’s interviews from old jets teammates that are just like. “he used to turn up at my house with his dog and text IM HERE with no warning and that’s how we became friends” or “his obsession with euro soccer teams bewitched me”. he had control of the aux cord. he was a den mother and planned group gatherings. a genuine sweetheart to every teammate he’s ever had!!

I don’t think he’s some. idk. secret 100 point producing star 1C. but i truly believe with the right environment he’ll probably hit 60 points again.

thank you for your time if you made it this far and i hope to see you all in the trenches (caps lb) next season 👍

[cinnamonest]

Hiii I absolutely adore your work!! You're legit my favorite fic writer, every word you put down is gospel amen 🙏 If youre still doing requests, maybe what about albedo x tall reader? I love how you write him so much, im 6ft tall myself and am fiending for yan stuff for tall girls since tall women are always written to be strong and dominant which kills me inside since im the total opposite...

Luckily he's not really insecure about it or anything, not like one of those people who gets all neurotic and has a complex. It's just. You know. He wouldn't mind getting a bit taller, is all. But if he ever starts getting too hung up over it, the feeling then loops back to feeling embarrassed over being insecure over something like that, so he tries to just ignore any feelings on it entirely.

He does handle your greater stature than himself better than some other, more insecure short boys, though. So long as you don’t bring the matter up, he won’t either. He genuinely doesn’t care about having others poke fun at him, which some of the knights he works with certainly do, given that it’s not everyday you see a guy with a girlfriend so much taller than himself, but he has very little regard for the opinions of those he doesn’t care much about and is thus largely unaffected.

He does, however, care what you think. He’s the sort of person who buries any insecurities he may have and ensures he never brings them up or makes them known, but he does worry just a bit that you wish he was taller, that it compromises the respect you have for him, or worse, that you’ll get wandering eyes… he feels sick to his stomach if he sees you talking to some tall guy, even more so than the sickness he already feels seeing you talk to anyone.

And even if you tease him about the matter, he handles that very well, albeit with a twitching to his smile that you may notice if you look carefully. He wants to give off the impression that it doesn’t bother him, even if it kinda does, just a little.

This also ends up accelerating his obsessive tendencies, the insecurity gets to him and he acts more impulsively and more recklessly than he would normally, and you’ll find that the situation between you escalates much faster to the point of captivity.

Regardless, you have no need to worry. The man does not have a submissive bone in his body… unnaturally so, even.

Like you know how, as a general rule, most men tend to lean towards dominant tendencies and aren’t really submissive per se, but are still gonna salivate and get into it if you “take charge”?

He’s not even like that. The notion of you having any sort of control or autonomy in the matter sort of… bothers him. He’s too obsessively fixated on control, and uses sex as a catharsis by which having control and seeing that control actively exerted on you brings him satisfaction and comfort and assurance, so any bit of said control being taken away gets under his skin fast.

Enthusiasm would be a pleasant surprise, sure, he likes you participating, but any time you attempt to actively control the steps and movement, or gods forbid try to push him to do or move in the way you want, he gets a little… twitchy. He’s not one to vocalize his thoughts too much, but you notice pretty much immediately, you can tell it irks him that you’re moving too much on your own, based on the firm grabs to your sides and wrists and efforts to quietly contort your body the way he wants you to, and a heavy huff of frustration when you fail to comply or try to go back to the position you were in before. It feels wrong, you should be bending and moving to the way his hands and words guide you, and failure to abide by it only strengthens the intensity of the impulse to force you under it by any means necessary.

Should you be a particularly bratty type, you can use this to your advantage by intentionally continuously breaking out of his hold or pushing back against the way he tries to push you into certain positions and outright disobeying… but that’s one of those “playing with fire” type of behaviors, and it stops being so amusing when he’s got you on your knees, held up by a fistful of hair, looming over you with an ominous, icy stare… and you may find yourself regretting your defiance, and up may be the only direction you get to look at him from now on.

[rin-and-jade]

Who am I.. : A post about being blurry

I got a few things to talk about here, while some of you are already aware of its struggles and have experiences around it, i’d love to add on more about this (it’s a long post) so don’t mind if i do;

To reiterate, being blurry means you’re in a moment where identifying who is out (at front) and who is currently talking (in co-con) takes huge effort or near to impossible in resolving this cloudy situation,, as well as having hazy + worser memory and lastly, bad internal communication that may occur.

There are some factors that are not limited to:

Exposed to stressors

Exhaustion

Lacking restful sleep

Dissociative mechanisms

Being overwhelmed

etc..

People may have different tolerance level and frequency that also could be out of natural reasons and lifestyles (as well as periods of alertness, yes, it shifts in different hours of the day), when having this once in a while its not a prob at all.. but what if it became more frequent than usual? Do you know what to do? If you do please reblog your own approach so it can help others. And for those who don’t i do have my own and i’ll give some of my approaches after i tell some potential effects that can happen when being blurry:

Having inconsistency in portraying outside

Dealing with confusion, can cause conflicts inside

Harder time in deciding or responding

Trouble around communicating with parts effectively and clearly

Memory gaps and losing track of time

These things aren't lovely, not even a bit.. so i have two ways to deal with it depending on context and situation,, Solve or Adapt. Solve is where you want to end the blurriness for good and Adapt is when Solve does not work or can’t be bothered to at first place.

Choosing Solve:

Using list of alters (especially pk bot) and go through each of them, seeing which one resonates.

Same thing but with music, make sure its the songs you know they (your other parts) listen to or from the provided playlist already.

Pay attention to a distinctive trait that pops out from all the meshed stuffs going on (specific way of talking or thinking or vibes, anything else)

Think of what clothing style you’d like to wear? Then check that with who would dress like that.

Choosing Adapt:

Give up with demanding tasks (unless if it’s important, just use your energy efficiently) and consider relaxing. This helps keeping mental load at bay.

Feeling unsure about who you are can be uncomfy, doing some comfort activities might do the trick.

Prepare a notes app and jot everything down to keep track of chores or work to do or remembering important things, don’t take it lightly because memory won’t be as helpful as usual.

Keep workload and stress at minimum, if it can be done later then put it aside, if not,, try breaking it to easier bits and commit to it with breaks if needed.

Last thing i want to tell is that I’ve seen my friends being blurry but not wanting to resolve it either due to not having enough mental capacity to deal with that, or having brain fog which makes it harder, or having way too much overlapping traits/identities that is beyond confusing which demotivated them, or not cut for it due to not enough understanding yourself/others to discern at the first place.. and thats okay, because im here if you need some help (or you can ask your trusted friend) and i hope this post is informative, stay slay guys.

- j

[mirxzii]

you've recieved a letter from: roxie! 💌

open?

YES NO

2023 has been like a rollercoaster for me. i had my ups, discovering kpop and seventeen, and my downs, struggling with grades and more.

scrolling through kpop and seventeen tags when i was a little baby carat, i was so nervous. i wanted to be friends with so many people here, to talk and giggle about my faves like others did. but i wasnt a writer, i wasnt even a big account.

however, my desire for friends who loved kpop and seventeen as much as me pushed past my social anxieties, and i began to talk to people here, praying they'd see my efforts, and like me.

so, i want to thank some of those writers and people who heard me, and who i love

@blue-jisungs my silly axie, youre one of my comfort friends and writers. you know just how to cheer me up, and even if you arent the best at math or chemistry, you certainly try your hardest to help me, and i love and appreciate that. id also love for you to proof read any essays i need help with for english sometime ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ your writing never misses, and i love talking with you about polish and jewish cultures. i cant wait to get closer with you in 2024, and i promise i will have that in my dreams cover when im back from japan. （╹◡╹）♡

@fairyhaos yena, im pretty sure you were the first seventeen account i looked up to. not only was your writing accurate and pretty, you were kind and sweet to everyone. i really wanted to be your friend, & im so glad i am now. ◠‿◠

@wheeboo rania!! your writing is always fun to read, or heartbreaking (still not over that hao angst). i remember how ecstatic i was when you asked me to make you a carrd, & i knew i had to make it perfect for you. anytime you want me to make you a new one, let me know! i love you so so much, thank you for listening whenever i needed someone and also trying to help me with math hahhah ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

@slytherinshua my zanna, i remember seeing you interact with so many accs and i had wanted to be your friend too!! so i followed you, thinking nothing of it. but im so glad we could connect over lucy and ofc, seventeen! youre so cute and kind, and i love to talk with u, esp in the server. i cant wait to get to know you more in 2024! ٩(^‿^)۶

@rubywonu nia, youre so amazing (and a little intimidating *´-`) ... your writing is amazing, and your layouts absolutely never miss. i really hope we can be closer friends in the new year!! ^o^

@pixieskie prish, thanj you for dming with me! youre so kind, im sorry for not responding quickly!! lets get closer, ilysm! (๑>◡<;๑)

@weird-bookworm sky, lets absolutely get closer next year!! thank you for liking my voice and i promise ill be active when im back from japan!! (≧∇≦)

@etherealyoungk skye, youre also a writer i really looked up to! thank you for being my friend, and i hope we can talk more and get closer!! (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

an extra thank you to some more of my favourite mutuals, @icyminghao, @hannieheartuu, @hannieehaee, @wonijinjin, @alexwilders, @zhuiren, @haecien, @starry-night-rose, @haowrld, @welcometomyoasis, and more!

thank you all so much for being there. i love you, and may we continue to be friends in the years to come. 🩷

FINISHED: letter from roxie! 💌

DELETE SAVE

[nanawritesit]

EXO Reaction: You Have a Personality Similar to Baekhyun’s

Chen’s will be written platonically as I feel uncomfortable writing a romantic scenario for someone with a wife and two kids 😂

Xiumin:

Our oldest boy would vibe with your sense of humor soooo well. He’s close with Chen, so he’s used to the loud, mischevious, whiny type. Your relationship would be so balanced, he’s the chill, laid back one and you’re the hyper, fun one! He’s so patient with you and never makes you feel annoying, he just loves being around you because you always make him smile with your constant silliness :) He also always makes an effort to take you seriously. He knows that just because you’re goofy doesn’t mean you don’t have real feelings and opinions!

Suho:

I feel like your personality would just make Suho want to take care of you. (Because you remind him of his son LOL) He would totally baby you when you get all whiny, taking you into his arms and shushing you. He’s always so attentive, fixing your hair and tying your shoe for you so you don’t trip. You’re his pride and joy, and he loves showing other people how funny and adorable his partner is. He’d also be very upset if anyone took advantage of your positivity. He doesn’t get angry often, but when someone messes with you he gets scary. Overall, he thinks you’re so adorable and wants to constantly watch out for you like he does with Baekhyun!

Lay:

Our angel Yixing would simply die of cuteness overload at your personality. He adores you, and is always smiling that dimpley grin at your antics. Like Suho, he’d be a little protective to make sure you don’t get yourself into any predicaments, but he really just wants to watch you shine that unfiltered passion for living. He always makes sure you know how cute you are, punching your cheeks and kissing you on the nose when you’re being yourself. He’s been promoting in China so much that he misses his boys, and you definitely help him feel less down ❤️

Chen:

You were actually one of his wife’s friends, and he had gotten to know you better when you started watching the kids for them. Being a husband, father, and working man meant he didn’t have as much time to spend with his EXO members, so he really enjoyed talking with you. It was comforting almost, to know that he could find the same positivity and humor in another friendship. His wife thought it was funny how well the two of you got along, and was happy Chen had someone to chat with at the end of the day. She also had a secret plan to hook you up with Baekhyun one day by asking both of you to watch the kids on the same night, but wanted Chen to meet you himself first. After all, he’s very protective of his boy!

Chanyeol:

He felt like he had won the lottery. (I just hit the lotto la la la la HAHA IM SO FUNNY) How had he lucked out in finding the perfect best friend AND the perfect partner? With Chen being so busy with his new family, the beagle line had been missing a member, so you, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun were the perfect trio. Although, Channie would be lying if he said he didn’t prefer his time alone with you more. He loves how affectionate you are, always cuddling up to him and showering him in kisses. You’re his dream partner, and he couldn’t be more happy to have you.

D.O:

Oh my gosh, you are so lucky this man is in love with you, or you’d get the same treatment as Baekhyun 😂 He’s so very patient, and never wants to makes you feel annoying, but sometimes he gets a little overwhelmed! However, you’re very sweet and try your best to not direct all of your energy towards him. You only tease him a little bit, and try not to be too loud indoors. The two of you are very good at having your own downtime to do your separate activities, so by the time you see each other, you can enjoy each other’s presence! He also loves that you motivate him to come out of his shell, and conversely he shows you how to chill out. The two of you have a very healthy, communicative relationship despite your differences, and you both love each other a lot ❤️

Kai:

My guy is just happy to be here 😂 He can’t help but love every aspect of your personality. You make him laugh harder than anyone else does, and never fail to cheer him up when he’s feeling down. He’s very grateful to have your undying optimism and overflowing energy in his life, he really needs it sometimes. He tends to push himself too hard and forgets to enjoy his life, and you really help him remember :)

Sehun:

Sassy boy over here just can’t help but tease you any chance he gets. He’ll roll his eyes dramatically and tell you to quiet down when you get all hyper. A stranger would think he’s always annoyed with you, but you both knew that wasn’t the case. He always made fun of you with a smile on his face, and softly grabbed your hand in a certain way that let you know he was only joking. If you ever needed reassurance, he’d be happy to remind you that he wouldn’t be with you if he found you irritating. He loves your personality, you make every experience fun for him.

Baekhyun:

You thought I forgot about him? Nah, this is the grand finale! The two of you are insufferable to be around. You feed on each other’s chaotic energy, basically being a loud, mischievous, childish mess. If you weren’t so damn cute together, none of your friends would want to be seen with you in public! You’re obviously both extremely affectionate, always touching in some sort of way. Linking pinkies, slinging your arms around each others’ waists, back hugs, and pecks on the cheek we’re all displays of affection you used, not caring about the public’s reactions. You make each other so happy and are always there to pick the other up when they need a boost 🥰

[clangenrising]

god i love how mystique has progressed throughout this story so far, it’s so real and palpable. it’s so crazy to think how she’s gone from someone so confident in her power and position and so blissfully ignorant of the shadow truth to someone who can’t really do anything but bathe in that same shadow truth now.

she’s really lost it all and it’s just like… i feel so much for her. i’ve experienced or witnessed similar things as her, it’s not fun. it’s nothing great to go through. obviously having a dictator sexual abuser brother is not the same as having really bad friends, but like, it’s the same kind of feeling that you don’t really want to accept that theyre bad people, yknow? it Hurts Bad to finally see that the people you love are not good people and have hurt you too, even if not as directly as they hurt others. and her grappling with the shadow truth is so damn realistic it makes my head spin. her just trying to push it back as much as possible but eventually it’s all she can think about, yeah… it be like that.

her postpartum depression is portrayed So Well too. i wouldnt be the first to say the kitten crash is done amazingly and rightfully so! huge credits to you on that for portraying it the way you do and in such a sympathetic way with oddstripe especially. but theres credit due to the way other cats see it as well because i think that’s also shown very… realistically, unfortunately, at least in a case i knew. i have an aunt who went through it with one of her first children and while i was too young to comprehend it properly, despite being the oldest cousin, i know i was always really confused when my relatives would either toss aside her feelings or actively make them worse or the good few would be understanding and help where they could. even little fogpaw doing what she can right now, it warms my heart.

her longing for razor and russetfrond despite her knowing now the former is terrible and the latter has hurt her, god it is so real. it’s a bit funny to think i’d been the one to come along with the rustique ship name at first but now it’s just like. there’s no way it’s healthy for them to stay with each other. i think the damage has been done and maybe, just maybe they could make up in some small way if they take it gently, but im not sure thats going to happen. even if they do make amends before mystique leaves theres obviously no going back.

but anyway yeah, thats my little thoughts on mystique. i love her deeply and really empathize with her so much. i hope for the best for her when she gets to go back home, despite all the unfortunate circumstances, she deserves to be back in a place of comfort and familiarity again 💜

Thank you <3 I really appreciate you saying all that. Not much to say because you said it all so well.

100 RisingBucks for your efforts!

[livingfictional]

can I have a rdr2 matchup 🥺

I prefer male matchup

My Appearance: Im around 5'4 ish female with a thin build and an hourglass figure, but rather flat. I have medium curls, dark brown hair with bangs though I usually wear my hair in a bun because I hate it long. I have downturned bluish-gray eyes. I have a condition called Keratosis that heavily affects my arms and legs and a little bit on my outer cheeks. I have veiny hands that are kind of wide, but I have a good grip strength so I don't mind. I always keep my nails short. I wear glasses but cannot stand contacts.

Personality: ISFP-T! (People who prefer the Constant Improvement Strategy are quiet, individualistic, perfectionistic, and success-driven, often spending a lot of time and effort ensuring the result of their work is the best it can be.) I'm soft spoken and don't usually like confrontations and I will actively avoid situations where I have to do a lot of talking. I'm nervous around strangers and people I haven't known for a while. Even with people I'm comfortable around I tend to let them do all the talking. I'm very adventurous though and I get bored very easily so if I'm with someone and I keep suggesting activities and all they want to do is sit around I'll get bored or insecure about being around them. Simply sitting quietly with someone isn't enough. I have a very open mind though and as long as an activity isn't hurting anyone i'm down to try it! I love to explore different kinds of activities.My main love languages are physical contact and gift giving and a little bit acts of service. I crave to be held or cuddled and I like it when people trace patterns on me. I'm not rich by any means but I love giving things to people because making people happy is really one of the main reasons to make me happy. I hate being alone because my thoughts are so loud and they concern me because I can't help but think of bad things when i'm alone so I like either having someone or something to distract me. I'm not gonna lie- I can get very over emotional and more often than not my emotions tend to control me. I'm a crybaby kinda.

Hobbies: Baking, Reading, Biking and Walks. I love making breads and cookies in particular but there's just something so calming about baking. Reading allows me to get lost in a fantasy- Im am a HUGE Daydreamer. Biking and going on walks is fun. I dont like to be in forests too much because i'm terrified of insects but biking and walking down roads is an activity I do often.

Habits: I bite my lips a lot and grind my teeth. I'm usually not aware of it but it does get painful which is usually when I know I'm doing it. I like biting things. Not like full on biting but soft nibbles and when there's nothing soft to bite on I will bite on my own arm.

Fun fact: I make really good coffee and Tea. I love hot drinks so I take time to make them and I largely enjoy others trying some drinks I make and I'd love nothing more than to share drinks with someone.

Sad fact: My relationship with my parents is complicated and I often feel scared to be around my family due to constant yelling, screaming, degrading, and emotional negligence so I tend to avoid people with authority.

I match you up with… Charles!

He does notice your nervous demeanor, especially in social situations. He makes conscious effort to give you the space you need. He’d never push you into uncomfortable situations.

Charles is a very stoic man, but your companionship calms him down even when there’s a turmoil within him. No one sees, except for you.

Given your love languages Charles will make sure to give you the affection you need.

Not a fan of PDA, but he will hold your hand or wrap his arm around your waist in public.

In private he will often offer you hugs, hold you close and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

He’d happily let you tag along when he goes out to hunt or even for a ride.

[gentil-minou]

Dang, I didn't realize you stopped writing ML analysis because some dweebs were raining on your parade and making fun of it. You wrote some of the best stuff looking at ML and I'm sorry jerks ruined that for you. Both you and this fandom have been robbed of something great because some people just can't let other enjoy things.

i mean there are a lot of reasons, both personal and fandom related. My work is very demanding, I had some traumatic shit that happened a few months ago I'm still processing, and my interests in fandoms go up and down over time, like right now it's pretty clear to see i'm more active in other fandoms besides ML.

But honestly the awful way the fans have been acting towards this season, not just in the way they rain on everyone's parade but also the way the bible and leaks have spread so far and wide. While that isn't the fandom's fault persay it's still awful. the fun of theorizing is gone when a bunch of people know what's going to happen, so naturally i just kinda stopped (then all the broadcasting bs that always bothers me ugh)

But I think the one thing this fandom hasn't seemed to realize is that it takes a lot of effort to write about this show, especially if you're an adult or a student who has other things going on. It's easy to leave a comment that hates on the analyses they write, and it's also easy for it to feel like a personal attack.

Think of it this way, so many people relate to Adrien and Mari, in so many ways. They can see themselves in them, even their faults and mistakes mean something. It feels incredibly validating for someone to be able to see that.

Take my Adrien has depression posts for example. Because I've had depression since I was younger than him and did a lot of the same masking behaviors he does, it meant so much to me. Here was a character who seemed to be going through what I was at the time and still struggle with today. It was so wonderful to see on screen because it felt like I was finally being seen. Or another example would be Mari's anxiety and ADHD which I also relate to so much, especially when it causes her to make some mistakes or handle things in the wrong way. It's classing anxiety-avoidance cycles, and seeing it on screen made me feel like I wasn't so alone. And I am sure so many other people felt the same way

And then there are people who go and say awful things about these characters on a post where you express those feelings. How Adrien is being a whiney baby or whatever bs they say, how his actions are a sign of him being selfish instead of all of the trauma and neglect he's experienced. Or how Mari's complex thinking patterns and behavior are relegated down to her being a stalker or a mary sue or what have you, once again completely ignoring the core complexity of her character as just a normal girl who was forced essentially to be a superhero. The pressures of which would be tremendous on anyone let alone someone with clear ND traits and traumatic experiences.

And people insult those fictional characters, so quickly and easily, without realizing the very real damage they are doing to the very real people who see themselves in them. I've talked so much about why I love sentiadrien because i can see some of my struggles in that storyline, and then to have people say that no it doesn't matter because my experiences aren't as important? that it's invalid because there's only one right way to experience trauma? that im wrong for finding solace in it? it's awful, and it puts me down.

i shouldnt be feeling invalidated when im watching my comfort show, i shouldn't spend days writing very careful posts only to get them shat on by insensitive comments. as much as i want to ignore them and focus on the good i do and the fun i get from it, it still feels like a stab through the chest every time.

and then there are the people who say i'm an awful therapist because they don't agree with my analyses. that's the worst, and while i won't go into details about why this particular statement brings me so much pain, i just need folks to understand that it's genuinely one of the worst insults i've ever had. and if everytime i write something i have second guess myself, and then second guess if i even have the skill and talent for the field i'm in, it just becomes a horrible spiral. people make these comments like they're the easiest thing in the world to say and it just boggles my mind, because although they may have forgotten their stupid little tag i certainly haven't. i hold them deep in that dark part of my brain where the whispers are loudest and hardest to control.

ultimately, the last few months i wanted to remind myself why i like this show and this website in the first place, and that i'm doing it for me. life is hard enough, if i can't have fun in the one place i can control then what's the point? so i will control my own experiences within this fandom, even if other's want to rain on it

[minniepetals]

I didnt know there was a new chapter so i immediately read it AAAHHHHH

I want more 😭 i have a lot of questions and i need answers 🥲 what will happen if bangtan knew about yoongi's past... what happened to mc? how long will it take for her to heal??? and im freaking out because yoongi and mc are kinda similar... very secretive people and been through a lot of trauma :((( its nice that she trusted him and yoongi made sure he wont break that trust 😭 i lowkey want bangtan to make an effort to find out what happened to mc so they can understand her more but yeah they have a point... i cant wait for the next chapter because where is this leading??? I need more 🥲

Anyway, thank you for the update! I really love cmar and I'm so happy you're back and updating it again! Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

-🌺

thank you so much bub!! regarding the questions: the boys will surely come around to knowing since they kinda know yoongi's somehow associated with the vipers (in some way shape or form) and there's a low chance they'll react badly. our girl went through a series of physical torture so it'll take some time for her to heal. there will be a brief description of what happens to her body when she wakes up and sees herself -- i didn't go too into details with it though. also yes! yoongi and y/n are very similar to one another. i think it'd be really cool if i wrote a scene where yoongi does gets angry and for y/n because out of all the boys, he's a composed man who doesn't get easily triggered so..just imagine it oop-. he's a good man overall, and even back in chapter one when their relationship was falling apart, yoongi didn't actively engage in verbally tormenting y/n, though his absence and silence most definitely had hurt her a lot.

of the boys, there are three quiet men who prefers their silence, all of them having chosen to be that way mostly due to how they were raised as children. these boys are yoongi, taehyung, and jungkook. perhaps i'll elaborate it further in the series itself but basically:

with yoongi, there's already a bit of context with him. he grew up being silenced and invisible so he's used to be quiet for the most part. he's a sincere man but does have a difficult time expressing his emotions (he's good at showing his lovers that he cares for them though, yoongi's kinda like a word of affirmation type of guy, ironically) -- emotions like the flawed part of being a human: anger, upset, sadness, etc.

we got a little bit of taehyung during the london arc. he's a hacker so he's mostly holed up in his lab and prefers not to socialize with the human population, so he's the type to be silent and observant rather than joining in the crowd and conversing. he's not someone who will feel the need to fill up the silence of a room and for the most part when he's with y/n (back when they were still together), they were always comfortable in their silence together. the two of them kinda just knows what's on the other's mind without having to say a thing

as with jungkook, there's not much around him just yet but if you look back at the flashback with the boys' pov (chapter 16), there was something jin said to namjoon during one of their disputes, saying "jungkook has gone completely silent" and that indicated a bit of his relationship with y/n, it being the fact that he was more open and talkative when y/n was around. you'll come to see in future chapters that y/n and jungkook relied on each other a lot back in the days. he loved her mostly through actions but always tried his best to speak up and change for the better for her, and when y/n left their life, it took some time to have jungkook coming back from being so silent.

there's only been one chapter to sum up the feelings of the boys and how the divorce of namjoon and y/n affected them but all in all, it most definitely hurt them in more than one way.

sorry i went on a whole rant omg, this is too long, but maybe you enjoyed reading a bit of context around three particular boys 😭

[flockofdoves]

whenever i try to figure out stuff about my specific form of stuttering (and im super interested in connecting my own vague theories about it to stuff other people have said after taking a psycholinguistics class this semester) i feel crazy because like no medical description of types of stuttering i ever see online match my experiences with it even though i feel like whatever is happening with my stuttering feels like it should be a relatively normal issue to happen to some people

like its not really that bad anymore im not looking for treatment for it but i just want to hear about other peoples experiences with similar and also be able to potentially understand whats happening in my body whenever it happens and its just so surprising to me how little i find whenever i look

but yeah. so curious if anyone else can relate to this or has thoughts or anything. trying to summarize my experiences:

started right around puberty when i was 11

it never was all the time just like random days or hours would be worse all of a sudden

mostly trouble with repeating the start of words or elongating the first vowel, makes getting whole sentences out really arduous

went away some time in early high school for the most part, but then randomly reemerged my sophomore year of college

for a while i theorized it just had to do with low blood pressure or low blood sugar from my eating disorder, because it turned out that when it reemerged that was when the worst of my ED started, but i'm well into recovery now and while stuttering can be a sign that i havent eaten enough in a while, and i certainly was stuttering worse at the worst of my ed, i still stutter at many times when i know i have eaten consistently and enough for a while

also feels like sometimes it can correlate with stress or exhaustion, but while of course i cant be sure i'm always recognizing when i'm stressed (having issues with dissociation and fibromyalgia feels relevant to that) it at least doesn't feel in the moment like thats always the case when i start stuttering, and sometimes feels pretty random

it feels like a specific form of brain fog distinct from other forms of brain fog i also experience in that its very actively irritating as if parts of my brain are turning off and on(?? not really accurate but idk how to describe it)

i also have had times of my life where i have had that same feeling while developing body jerks and facial tics (maybe also hand tremors but i think those felt more directly related to what i've later recognized as low blood sugar from my eating disorder)

i also theorized before that those facial tic episodes could have to do with tardive dyskinesia (had really really bad reactions to risperidone and abilify and was on each of them for years, and abilify side effects sometimes felt sorta similar, and my facial tics/tremors etc arent nearly as prominent now that its been years since i last was on those meds) but that doesnt really make sense to me when it feels so similar to my stutter and the stutter started before i ever was on any psychiatric medication

i tend to stutter or have those tics a lot more prominently around people i am comfortable with. sometimes while stuttering/etc it feels like if i really really tried hard and put a lot of energy into it i would be able speak without stuttering even if still a little slow and monotone, but despite the frustration that comes with not being able to fully express what i mean quickly, it still doesnt feel worth it to put in that effort unless i need to perform for strangers (wording it like this is a lot more intellectualized and makes it sound a lot more like an active choice, while in the moment its kind of all just vague instinctual feelings)

honestly i have no idea if any of the stuttering or facial tic stuff do or dont relate at all to other behaviors i exhibit like some of ocd compulsions that are less elaborated and more just 'i wouldn't feel right if i dont touch this in this specific way right now' / my habits of picking up on a random weird exclamation that i subconsciously vocalize whenever i think of something stressful and am in a comfortable environment / my issues with body focused repetitive behavior (especially dermatillomania)

idk!! brains are just interesting im just curious what other peoples thoughts are..

like i guess looking at lists of types of stuttering it could make sense to guess this is psychogenic stuttering but its just like crazy how nonspecific any talk of it has been. ive become kinda interested in neurolinguistics which obviously is still so so full of uncertainties and biases as a field but theres at least some physiological backing for the things it talks about so its just so disappointing when topics that i wish were more explored by it are instead just stuff im finding information about from a psychiatric framework..

[collidingxworlds]

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[llycaons]

ep36 (1/2): we are so fucking back, baby

thank god this episode was really good. sweet and cute in part 1 and then really funny + spooky later on

I do find it really funny that wwx arranged lwj's arms like he's in a coffin. man, but his sleeping pose is so strange

I wonder if there's something to be said that lwj looks like he's always in mourning and sleeps like he's dead but he's actually the force of life and light in the life of wwx. and wwx is even more strongly associated with death through his cultivation path and his own death, but he's got so much energy and life in him (when he's not like, super depressed or traumatized that is). the balance is neat

yeah this is cute. lwj has changed in some ways since wwx has come back, in ways that I think confuse and put wwx on the defense in some cases. but overall there's a steady reliability there that I think plays a significant role in why he loves lwj - he's something familiar and comforting and dependable in a new and strange world

aww their reunion!!

love this scene! wwx never really thought he was above wen ning, but he didn't always show it so clearly. he's communicating so well to wn here - we're equals, I'm not above you, you can stand tall and not be ashamed of yourself

ohhh that's why he wanted bichen

his face is so funny and 2. man I guess that's the translation but I like bichen better

another funny scene. wen ning noisily and clumsily running away right behind wwx and wwx stumbles over his words trying to explain himself

how the FUCK did they get here. like there was no effort put into this at all lol wwx was just like 'hehe I got lost" HOW DID YOU GO FROM THE CITY CENTER TO A RANDOM FARMHOUSE

man, wyb is BACK in this episode. idk why things were so weird and cold in previous episodes but he's got so much more expression in his face this time. even his dopey blank drunk-face is like deeply intent and focused. he is honestly very cute here

LEGEND

ohhh I love this. couple quality activities

I don't think it's fair to call ss utter shit with a sword, so lwj really is just that good. goddamn.

im like really enamored with this face? god he's so open and honest and vulnerable like this

so cute I can't 😭

this makes me sooo mad because we SAW the brand on his chest we KNOW he got drunk and did that so why shouldn't he have gotten drunk off wwx's favorite wine?? huh??? at least, he did in the book iirc

side note, but as someone whose first exposure to the story was the drama, I put the pieces together pretty well myself. like, who else would it have been? it had to have been lwj himself

back to chatting about rabbits. what a goofy smile. and look how much wwx is laughing, aww

this is a great scene for the confession itself, but I've always loved most xz's performance. those big wet eyes, and all that swallowing - he's so touched he really might start crying right there. and it's so important to wwx to know that someone trusted him, and believed in him, and wished they'd done something differently to help him. the last time someone publicly defended him he did cry. it's something I love a lot about wwx

and I just like that smile so much. all that love in there. that affection. almost looking like nostalgia

I like the idea that wwx is someone who can remember who he was when he was young more easily with lwj - that innocence and energy and joy he used to have

this is also really funny. I'm sure it's not nine. he's just announcing it is because he's going to sleep now, so it must be

and the only time we see him with a nightmare postres. makes sense that he still gets them - BM and the war was only a few years ago

aww his smile when he sees the kids is so cute

THE FAKE MOUSTACHE I CAN'T

some sick burns these kids are delivering

[ablednt]

hey this is probably a v common ask but if i were a system, how would i know for sure? im already autistic, and i suspect i might be plural bc my parents tell me abt what my friends say is a "horrifying and traumatic" childhood that i dont remember experiencing, they tell me abt conversations i dont remember having with them, i end up on places i dont remember walking to and i am congratulated on achievements that i dont remember doing or punished for things i know i wouldnt have done. i sometimes feel like i am in a fishbowl being carried around by someone else, or like im between radio channels hearing both at once and tgey respond sometimes and i thought they were just thoughts, like that was a normal way people thought but people i ask say its not normal. im sorry for tge length of this message im just not sure qhats going on with me

Oh you're so valid

At this point I'm going to go ahead and say that if you do feel plural or more apt if you feel like interacting with the plural community and identifying as plural will help you then you should go ahead and do it. Personally the fact that you're responding to your thoughts like that seems pretty inherently on the plural spectrum to me.

With the memory loss and dissociation I'd suggest doing some research into DID. If you don't feel comfortable diagnosing yourself with it that's perfectly fine but you should be able to find resources that can help you.

Here are some activities that can help get you started in the questioning/syscovery process

Try and get in touch with anyone in your brain. Find a quiet spot you can just think without too many distractions (you can do it other times but it's going to be much harder) and ask "is anyone there?" or introduce yourself or something. Because it's very likely your system mates are just as confused about all of this as you are, you might ask and get back an answer like "No one's here" or "I'm not real" or "I don't know" and if you get that it means there is someone there but they are very confused themselves. If nothing happens that also doesn't mean you're definitely singlet it's also possible no one is up front when you're asking.

If you have places that you imagine clearly when you picture the inside of your mind it's possible that you have a headspace. Something the sometimes works is trying to go there. What I did was meditated one night and told "wait til a house shows up" which was oddly specific anyway it sort of worked but I found out that I'm not able to see or move anything when I'm fully "in" headspace so it was mostly just disorienting I found out that I can physically hear stuff from there if I'm disconnected from front enough (really I have to be on the verge of falling asleep) but it's just as valid if it's solely a place you're imagining rather than giving you any clear senses, you can kind of tell whether it's you completely making everything up or if others are there/it's a metaphorical space because the latter just kind of...flows naturally? When you're imagining stuff intentionally that takes effort and conscious thought, if it's all happening to you naturally, people respond without you thinking of their responses or they make their own choices separate from you, etc. then that's different than regular pretending. This is probably written confusingly sorry this stuff is hard to describe.

Journaling! You can do this on paper or do it in a discord server created just for yourself (if you want to you can add pluralkit and people can create their own profiles on it and have their own icons/names/etc that way but that's optional) or something else there's apps you can use as well Antar is a good one but really you could do it anywhere you can write or type. You can write messages for other parts of you who take over, ask them questions for later, or you can do that to pass on important notes of what's going on when and scheduling and stuff. Basically, the idea is that you're copiloting a body with a bunch of people who haven't been able to properly speak to each other so you need to find a way to keep important information the others might need accessible.

Hopefully this is helpful if you have any other questions feel free to ask you can also message us if you'd like but no pressure to! Good luck!

[ginnsbaker]

The conversation between reader and mom was an interesting perspective. I imagine for reader loving someone so much and feeling like your mom someone so important to you doesn’t like them is such a terrible weight. However I understand the mom’s perspective as no one wants to ever see their child hurt. A relationship as intense as the one between reader and wanda obviously has potential to leave reader hurt. The more spark in a relationship the more it can burn, its about risk vs reward is risking getting hurt worth it? I’ll touch on this again later.

The gift Yelena got for reader. Wow. You have this emotional flashback with Wanda and then this in the present with Yelena. For me if I was reader I wouldn’t like the gift, and that’s all because of what the original one means. Yelena says its “pretty worn out” which it would be if it was the one from when reader did it with their dad. But I don’t know I just felt icky about it because if I was reader that one would have to stay up no matter how worn out it got. It does make me wonder if yelena knows the story behind it because if she did she wouldn’t have tried to replace it right? Its another thing that just shows the gap between the two of them and how they don’t know each other like they think they do. Another thing thats weird to me is that if I was yelena and saw an old jigsaw hanging up I would ask about it so its a little weird to me how she doesn’t know which is why I wonder if reader has told her and she’s just forgot.

I like these parallels between wanda and yelena because it kinda sets it up like a competition and I can imagine two sides of readers mind at war but in both flashbacks and parallels i think wanda has yelena beat.

Reader and Wanda. Question to oblivious reader does the fact you actively looked for wanda to wish a happy birthday on Facebook not make you think hm maybe im in the wrong relationship? What about the fact you felt comfort just by seeing her under the lamppost? No? So god damn oblivious istg. The fact that reader seemed unhappy that wanda was happy that reader’s relationship with yelena was “thriving” its so clear god please realise it like a quick meal with your ex wife was the highlight of your day that should be a sign hell a sign with big flashing lights and arrows 😂

Yelena was definitely not happy when reader came back and reader was too busy being happy about their time with wanda to notice. I think she definitely knows who readers been with how she knows im not sure maybe vision or maybe its just a feeling but i think she’s starting to realise that she truly can’t compete. It sucks for her because she clearly did put effort in for the birthday and yeah the hour or so reader was gone seems to have been better than all that so i do feel bad for her.

Im gonna send one more ask if thats okay which is gonna be about the speech and both relationships and love

-🧃

The more spark in a relationship the more it can burn - Oh, I love how you phrased this.

Yelena - I think she didn't mean to. They haven't been together too long and R only got that puzzle back when she was married to Wanda and it never came up in their previous relationship (pre-UK, yelena left before R went to college). And she just thought, hey, R loves puzzles, maybe we can do a puzzle together! and instead of looking for one, she thinks, why not a brand new, shiny puzzle similar to the one we have in the bedroom?

I think, personally, we can't help but compare our current relationship with past ones even though we know it's pointless lol. it's just human nature.

Reader is more of...in denial, than oblivious. She cried to her mom about Wanda remember? And mom said "because you love yelena too?" like, i want to be happy, but i'd rather not hurt someone else for my happiness.

It was gut feeling for Yelena. Journalist's instinct even. Yelena is smarter than any of us think lol. We'll see just how smart and resourceful she is in Chapter 14. Yelena will keep holding on, until we leave her no choice.

Go ahead send one more!