#but i am passionate about this i guess

[syxnewt]

that new episode of big city greens where they do christmas eve traditions in vr is pissing me off because everyone gets so mad at cricket for no reason

like he wants to hang out with his friend and even compromises his wants and his dad's wants but then an UNPRECEDENTED snowstorm happens causing cricket to get stuck at remy's house. and his dad is mad at him for it?????????? then cricket tries to make sure no one is upset by doing the traditions in vr and does his absolute best to ensure nothing interrupts the good time his family is having. monsters come to attack anyway but he literally only had remy do the fighting and there were like 7 people in one area so whatever. and everyone is so pissed off??????? like he did everything he could to make sure the christmas eve traditions weren't ruined by him not being there and the show acts like cricket was wrong for wanting to spend time with someone important in his life that wasn't his family. that boy has done a lot wrong but not in this episode and im annoyed that it acts like he did

[stressfulsloth]

Thinking about Disco Elysium and stars. Something about communal experience and simultaneous isolation, hope and idealism, fear and beauty and terror and burning. The inherent horror in the vast romantic starscape of the sky, the melancholy and loneliness inherent in the untold distance, a communal experience of something too enormous to fathom. Stars bear witness to humanity, to the millions of tiny people crawling on the face of Elysium. They watch the people, and the people watch back, and make up stories about the stars. Stars symbolise love, hope, something unreachable and unattainable.

The way that the light of the stars reaches every single being in Elysium, from human to phasmid, but no matter how far it reaches it is still a cold and distant glow, always on the verge of going out. A moral brilliance, a holy light to strive towards, something always at risk of burning out, but there's a dichotomy too. A duality between the stars as brutal unfeeling observers, moralists even, like the aerostatics flying overhead, tiny dying lights that watch impassively over every terrible thing in the world, and the flipside; stars as the burning kernels of hope, furious burning flames that parallel Harry and his golden-orange forest fire nature. Stars as the light of communism, the star-and-antlers. They're hope and dreams- a million years in the stars. Rockstars and superstars. The light of a brighter future (however short-term that future might be) coming towards them at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think of Sacred and Terrible Air and the light pollution in Vassa- ending light pollution as the world ends. "You may laugh at this, but in the evening, when the big world in the distance swells into a bloody maelstrom, families come out into the street in Vaasa and are insignificant together. Only distant explosions disturb the deep peace of the winter night, its flawless starry sky. Everyone watches, heads tilted back." The stars are a shared experience. Something that everyone watches, insignificant together, when there's nothing more that can be done. Light in the face of darkness, community in the face of inevitability. Togetherness. The stars are there in the church with the ravers. They're there watching Harry and Kim together. Insignificant together. In dark times, should the stars also go out?

[marclef]

What inspired you to make Eyhm?

..... y'know since i don't have to spend several hours putting more effort than necessary into drawing a Cat for this i might as well answer it already lmao 😅

but, well, i KINDA have gone into it before, long story short she's an OC i've had for a long time that i really like putting into other media i like, just for the fun of it really! plus i'm just a really big cat person so, of course i'm going to make an OC based off of my favorite animal 🤗but Pizza Tower's kinda the first time i feel like i've really made her fit into the universe she's in, so much so that i've basically shoved the non-AU version of her off to the waywide, and now the Pizza version of her IS her, more or less! plus i'm just really proud of the design i made for her, i feel like there's a lot more personality than the simple design i had for her in the past.

there's been a lot of changes and other stuff i've made for her over time as well, of course, i'll share a couple silly things here just because i feel like it. (putting under a readmore because, eh, i don't feel like bothering people who couldn't care less heh 💧)

well, i do have what i think is the second(???) time i ever tried drawing Eyhm in Pizza Tower's art style, you can tell the original design i had for her was a lot different though 😅 (also behold one of my first times drawing Peppino, i still didn't know how the heck i wanted to draw this Italian Man yet)

(... and yeah, some old backstory stuff i had for her that's a lot different than it is now, mostly the fact that she KNOWS that she used to be human more than anything. but i won't get into all that here 👍)

speaking of backstory stuff, fun fact. i was inspired to change up the lore and backstory ideas i had for her a while back, partially because i didn't like it, and also in part because i had a weird-ass dream with her in it. i barely remember much about it, besides one very important detail: it had Pizzahead running Eyhm over in a car.

no, i don't know why this is important. but i did make an edit of it. here you go.

is this important to her backstory at all? no. but for some reason it inspired me to change her. thank you Pizzahead Hitting a Small Cat with a Car Dream.

..... okay maybe i got a little off track here. but that's the price you pay for asking me about my Funny Little Guys 👍👍 anyways, back to trying to draw other people's Little Guys for the rest of the month, so long 👋

[0809sysblings]

Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting

and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action

I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.

Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.

Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.

Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!

!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!

I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.

At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.

Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.

Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.

Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.

Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.

They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.

An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.

Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.

Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.

This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.

I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.

Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.

Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.

The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.

To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.

I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.

And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!

Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.

[blueskittlesart]

I finally caved. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to order your zine. For the whole MONTH I've been debating because I'm in college and shouldn't spend money, but I love your art and comics SO MUCH 😭. With my adhd I can't really handle urgent money decisions, so with this being the last day to order (I've kept careful track of the days cause I couldn't decide), I couldn't not order because it's my last chance! I was really afraid I'd regret it if I didn't because I love your art so much. Anyways. I ordered your zine. I look forward to having it I love your art I hope making and selling it has been a good experience for you 😁

i appreciate it so much! i was honestly really worried abt this as my first foray into selling my art as a product bc i am also a broke college student and there's always some financial risk with these things, but you all have really made this an amazing experience for me! I didn't think I'd even get 20 orders, but i ended up with almost 200, which is legitimately insane. I'm REALLY looking forward to packaging these and sending them out in the coming months, and i really hope they live up to everyone's expectations bc i had SO much fun producing them!!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate angst without catharsis.

[elephantlovemedleys]

you know i've been doing pretty fine with the process but i need at least some reassurance to tell me that it will work out and that everything is going to pay off and i will be satisfied with my writing

[missingpolinseason]

I wasn't going to talk about beacuse I'm new to Bridgerton/Polin tumblr and the internet is full of Jess Brownell supporters who think it's okay to cyberbully anyone who criticises her - it's not, by the way...

BUT

If people think Colin Bridgerton would cheat, it's most likely because of the way Jess Brownell's decided to tell Polin's love story.

I remember an interview I've read (before season 3 was released) in wich she talked about "Penelope's glow up". It was an Entertainment Weekly back in december and the interviewer said that "penelope's wardrobe change was a huge part of Romancing Mister Bridgerton - wich is not in the book she just starsts dressing the way she wants because she's 28 and a spinister and her mother gives up on her prospects - and Jess Brownell doesn't correct this fact. She says she's "aware" of this topic (glow up) and that she's palying with it as in their world "her wardrobe change doesn't fix her confidence magicaly". The point is: Penelope's wardrobe changes doesn't change her status in the book either(!) If we're being honest, people (the gentleman of the ton) pay way more attention to her new style in the show.

And that gave some viewers the impression that Colin, too, only saw her after her glow up/wardrobe change/new style. Wich isn't at all true! In fact, when they meet again in their book and he complements her dress she says "it's not yellow", to wich he replys "so it's not", because he didn't care(!!) And his feelins for her are not attached to the way she dresses(!!)

If you asked me, i'd say Colin has been falling in love with Pen through all their friendship. However, the consensus seems to be that people believe his romantic feelings started with the kiss - wich is totally fine. The thing is that right after their first kiss (the best ever book-to-show adaptation of a scene) enters Debling. And the the idea some non Polin fans have that Colin may only be interested because she now has a suitor.

Both scenarios, plus the decision to not involve Colin in Whistledown plot, making him not only ask for her hand in marriage but have sex with her before finding out - when book Colin is the first one to know about Pen being Whistledown and asks her to marrying him after he discovers it - leading to the most infamous line of it all: the "entrapment line".

What I'm saying is: the way things were put out, and most specifically, the order in what things were put out in the show, gave some people the impression that Colin's love for Penelope isn't strong when it couldn't be fourther than the truth.

Colin Bridgerton loved Penelope before being in love with her. He is canonically the first man to ever have a conversation to her, the man who saw her and show her kindness when not even her family did. The man who danced with her at his mother ball - in a specific situation he dances with her after Benedict leaves her alone in the dance floor because he just feel in love with Sophie and them """fights""" Ben for it. He discovers she's Lady Whistledown because he is concerned with her safety. He goes to her when he is concerned Eloise may be Whistledown. He fights with her opon finding she's Whistledown because of her safety. He holds her hand when she panicks after Cressida claims to be Whistldown. He notices her witt and humour and how it it's only reserved for him and and other people she's confortable with. He's willing to gave a chance to publish his writing for being married to Whistledown because being by her side is the most important thing to him.

There's an actually quote in the book: "maybe, this, then, is the definition of love. When you wanted someone, needed her, adored her still, even when you are utterly furious and quiet ready to tye her to a bed just to quit her from going out and making more trouble". Wich to me represents his feelings for Penelope in the carriage scene in chapiter 13.

And I know a lot people hate - or very much dislike - the Bridgerton Books and most of all the behavior of the man in the books but the thing is they're hitorical romances. They take place in the early XIX century and are written to resemble that time. We view this books as fantasy because that society and costumes seem to far away from our society and social context.

The fantasy is that this man - rakes who fuck around and control a society where woman have basically no rights or voice - fall in love. And find their one true love. There's no cheating. It's a happly ever after. No Bridgerton man will ever cheat and if you didn't understand it, you didn't get the books at all.

[incorrectinfinity]

Erina Pendelton slander will never be accepted here I will instantly block ngl

[thelostgirl21]

Ever since realising that Joey referring to Jaskier as sapiosexually connecting with Radovid was likely 100% intentional, I've literally been losing my shit over the potential implications...

Like... new headcanon!

What if Jaskier has always approached the act of having sex with someone else as a form of performance art, driven by his desire to please his "audience", and making other people passionately respond to what he's doing for them?

Like... what if what normally sexually interests him isn't so much inspired by the other person, but more by the general idea of being wanted, needed, and the anticipation of the positive feedback he might get from sexually interacting with them.

He readily experiences primary aesthetic attraction towards other people, finds them interesting, becomes curious about them, and feels instantly affectionate towards them; but he's not sexually aroused by / attracted to them, per say.

He really wants to make them feel good, and bask in that sense of intimacy, togetherness and praises he receives from being sexually involved with them (yeah, because he's that good at figuring out what pleases them, and offering it to them).

And somehow, audience response/participation tends to really inform how good or "smooth" he is when it comes to his ability to seduce someone, and convince them to become sexually intimate with him in the first place?

For example...

So... what if Jaskier is a bard and an artist through and through? Not just on stage, but in the sheets as well?

Turning sex into poetry and something very deliberate, where it's all about a sense of artistic expression, and a pure melody of various physical sensations and emotions!

Sexually? Jaskier is an artist, a creative, a free thinker... All is fair!

But it's not something that he usually feels any urge or need to engage in based on the way someone else inspires him any sudden desire to have sex with them specifically.

He loves his sexual partners, he's intrigued by them, he wants to connect with them - even if that connection lasts but a night - and sex allows him to do that.

But maybe he has no idea that sex might be experienced differently by others.

Maybe he just thinks they're like really really REALLY expressive and appreciative of the sex itself, or something, whenever he notices how hungrily some of them appear to throw themselves at him, or at each other.

Also, I've somehow always found it a bit weird how Jaskier seems to fully remain clear minded during Yennefer's magical orgy.

Yennefer comments on how Geralt seems to be immune to her spell, as if it's some kind of big deal!

But then, there's Jaskier...

He just waves at them as if he's totally unaffected by everyone else fucking each other around him, and being surrounded by a bunch of naked bodies having sex...

And/or looks like he's not quite comfortable with the way someone's hand is moving closer to his crotch at some point...

Grant it, he's slowly being suffocated to death by a Djinn's magic, and likely has other priorities than sex in mind!

But that's just the thing...

Isn't Yennefer's spell supposed to override people's ability to think rationally or fully understand what's happening? Everyone snaps out of it looking confused, and poor Jaskier just basically passes out, but he's never once looked like he stopped looking at what was happening around him from an outsider's P.O.V.

Whenever the camera cuts to him, he seems to be sharing the same reality as Geralt and Yennefer, not the kind of sexual haze everyone else appears to be happily trapped in.

Would being affected by the Djinn just make him immune to the whole "sex weed magic thingy" as well?

Or would the usual lack of primary sexual attraction towards other people make it a bit harder for Yennefer's spell to take a hold on him?

(Another headcanon theory I came up with - should Jaskier be revealed as being the direct descendant of Fjall and the Lark - would be that, perhaps, the small touch of magic in his blood would be enough to make him more resistant to certain types of spell... On top of being able to eat whatever he comes across without freaking poisoning himself, I swear!)

But yeah, let's just imagine, for a moment, that sapiosexual Jaskier would have no clue (or very little clue) of what it actually feels like to specifically be sexually attracted to someone (rather than the sex itself, and all it may represent to him) in a way where you are viscerally craving that sexual contact with that specific someone, and you feel like you might go crazy if they don't finally have sex with you.

Then, along comes Radovid, that he develops a sapioromantic and sapiosexual attraction for...

And, for a while, Jaskier thinks he's just losing his freaking mind, because there are moments where Radovid is just there, simply being all sensitive and insightful while discussing dwarven politics with Yarpen, for example...

... and poor Jaskier's never been so sexually aroused in his life!!!

But Radovid is not even technically doing anything that's supposed to be "sexually charged"!

He's fully clothed, being all smart and sensitive, talking about a topic of interest to him while having lunch by the side of the road...

...and Jaskier is just there, casually eating next to him while listening to him talk with their friends.

It's 100% casual and totally trivial, day to day stuff... No plan for Jaskier to try and seduce him and have sex there!

So, how come does he suddenly feel the urge to pounce on him and beg Radovid to just take him right here and there, in front of all their friends at camp, and it's taking all the self-control he can humanly muster not to act upon that impulse?!

Instead, Jaskier stands up, awkwardly excuses himself, and decides the best way to manage the situation is to go take a random dip fully clothed in the nearest river.

"Why?", they ask. Because he was getting hot, that's why!

And no, he couldn't just remove his clothes instead! He liked them really baggy an concealing that day, thank you very much!

As a matter of fact, he might decide to just start wearing his shirt over his pants from now on, because he's starting a new fashion trend! No other reason!

Oh...

Oh, no...

NO.

Don't you dare look at me all concerned while trying to read into my behavior, you stupid prince... Wait. Is that a smirk?

You're smirking aren't you?

How do you look like you've figured it out, when I've no fucking clue what's even going on with me?!

Great! And now the river's cool water is not even working anymore!

That's it! I'm never walking out of here again, and I hope you know it's all your fault!

No. No, don't take off your shirt and get into the water with me, that's not...

Oh? Oh! Everyone else is going and leaving us alone? Okay, nevermind! Fuck! Why's it so hard to walk while standing waist deep in water? Surely there must be a way to get to you faster...

And I'm just imagining poor Jaskier trying to ask Yennefer if Radovid might be some kind of sorcerer with latent magical abilities or something... Because, whenever he's around, there are moments where he randomly feels this overwhelming urge to make love to him, even if the context is not appropriate for delivering a sexual performance of any kind!

Like yes, it has happened to him before to have "the muses" whisper in his ear that sex with a certain someone might be good, and he's typically very open to sudden bursts of inspiration and unplanned sexual improvisation!

But that's not the same thing!

It only happens specifically with Radovid - especially when he's saying or doing something really witty, sensitive or insightful - and it's like his whole body suddenly catches fire, gets all tense and trembling with need; and being touched by him and having sex with him feels like finally being able to breathe after someone's forcefully been holding your head under water for a while...

Radovid must be bewitching him, somehow, for sure!

And Yenn is like "You know that what you've just been describing is simply what regular sexual desire feels like for most people, right?"

And Jaskier's just going:

[tricksteroftheheart]

so is the fandom gonna realize qwel was being manipulated by rox and that she is also a victim or .

(recent post for screenshots of qwel admitting she was being manipulated. also a debunking of the claims in the qwel doc.)

[literategnome]

"it's been a YEAR, MIKE" me to myself about how long it's been since I edited a video

[stories-by-rie]

how to feel excited about my own projects again

[steelthroat]

I am pretty responsible when it comes to money... someone could also use the word "stingy"

However:

Snacks

Little stupid but actually useful gadgets that ALSO look cool/nice

Museums/art related stuff

Make me act... unwisely

[probayern]

i miss germany, i miss the euros, i miss june

[twisting-roads]

honestly i totally get how you feel with the rain world lore and i don't think you come off as snobbish talking abt it - it's real nice to see a view of it that rightfully takes into account its roots in buddhist culture :3

i need to do more research on it myself (both for this and also i just want to learn more) but i'd always seen it as reincarnation from the last point in their life happening as a separate universe, or "timeline", where that specific organism didn't die. it'd essentially mean there are near infinite universes dependent on which microbe lives another day and which doesn't, but yknow! such is the way with infinite multiverse theory. but again i need to do more research on rw's origins in other religions :-)

either way i enjoy seeing your thoughts on the matter and talking about it i love rain world's lore so so much not enough people talk about it

I've heard the whole splitting timeline and universes opinion before, and I don't really like it due to its complexity and the fact that it still makes many matters feel meaningless, what happens to the creatures that are born into the world for the first time? Where did their consciousness come from?

I can see it working for other people, but I just personally don't enjoy it very much

I have also been trying to find RW's links to other religions, though I haven't particularly gone out to search much. I have done a bit of looking into the void worm demiurge theory but not enough to come up with anything worth talking about in much detail