#but hey it’s funny

[gaymars97]

Okay so yk what I got sick of rendering the au drawing

So imma show y’all the au with a bit lazy pen sketches.

SO MY BORDERLANDS REWRITE AU

ERIDIAN OVERRUN

(The present in this au is 3 years after bl3)

Part 1: Phaseleech scars

Because yeah I ain’t showing all of it in one post

(Yes I know it’s actually a right hand I drew on the top there. I realized that right when I was about to post this. Please just pretend it’s the left hand I’m too lazy to fix it.)

So basically, it’s also a bit of a headcanon I have where people who survived phaseleech would have scars around the leeched area.

Also before I start, it is important to mention: in this au, Troy still tried to phaseleech Maya, but the VH3 came back in time and saved her. However, Troy had the time to take her power, leaving most of the bl3 plotline intact. Also Ava got phaseleech, not phaselock.

And also, that instead of flying herself on Elpis, Lilith pulls with Maya’s help the Phaselock-Phasewalk combo on Elpis and therefore doesn’t disappear.

At first, the scars are a bit stone-y, kinda like the husks corpses the calypsos leave around. The scars are fragile, very hard to move and most of the nerves are gone. The scars can be healed with eridium, but it is very limited.

The scars leave some kind of magic trace. To most, this doesn’t change anything, but if it’s a siren who has the scars (*ehem* Lilith and Maya) getting her power back will react to this magic trace, healing the scars only to leave the healed skin dark gray. It also gives the siren some weird features and makes the scars glow more often.

Lilith’s scar: Left by her encounter against Tyreen, it goes from her upper neck to her upper chest. She had a bit of difficulty breathing at first because it got close to her respiratory system, but it wasn’t anything too bad. Also, because of that, she now exhales purple smoke when using her power (magic trace stuff). Lilith got lucky as to her scar. Because of her frequent use of eridium, she gained over time natural toughness, even without use of eridium, making the spread of the scar not that bad.

Maya’s scar: Since Maya used eridium only once before she got her scar, she didn’t get that eridium toughness Lilith had, making her scar’s extent larger. Her scar takes her entire left arm and goes up to the bottom left of her face. It also goes a bit around the arm but not that much. Also, since the twins got the rampager’s power before Troy stole Maya’s power, the magic trace left in her scar kinda has some rampager energy. However, it only manifests itself on the healed scars as claws to the scarred arm.

Hey if Maya got a magic trace from her scar, doesn’t that mean I could make her able to anoint people if I wanted to?

What?

Im just saying.

Tyreen has one on the middle of the chest due to Troy using her to charge Elpis.

Oh and you may ask: Is that Maya with Sentinel like glowing marks in the bottom left? Yeah. There’s gonna be something about sirens having some kind of control over the vault monsters but I haven’t even figured it out that much myself.

So anyways…

[crabanarchy]

i miss cd drives. how could you just take her pussy away. likes its nothing

[iftadwascool]

this is, honest to god, one of the funniest ads ive seen in a long time.

[now-you-sound-like-a-jedi]

If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.

Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:

"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"

So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".

And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"

[specshroom]

⋆˚🐾˖°

Wolf hybrid who is sooooo excited to experience his bunny hybrid partners first heat. So excited that he vastly underestimates just how horny bunnies are in heat.

He's expecting his cute little bunny partner (you) to cry and beg for his knot. Which you do and he knots and cums inside you twice but then right after his knot deflates you look up at him and go "Again?"

He's a little tired but he can't say no to you...

Until it's the sixth fucking round and you're still bouncing on his very overstimulated cock. He knows it's very bad to interrupt a bunny while they're so deep in heat but he might just pass out and you're so lost in the sauce you might just keep going if he does.

He needs to think of a way to satisfy you that won't literally kill him. He gets an idea and reaches for his phone. It's really embarrassing but the best thing he can think of at that moment is to open the group chat, aptly named "The Boys", and hastily text:

[Hey guys can u come over]

[I need sum help with something]

⋆˚🐾˖°

[fanaticalthings]

important family group chat discussions

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[heytherecentaurs]

Brennan’s talked before about how as a poor young adult he lived in New York and struggled with food security. He tells a story of going to frozen yogurt places for free samples and a cheap dumpling spot because it was a lot of food.

His opinions on food and his described behaviours around food make a lot of sense in that context. He may be successful now and can be assured he can eat again when he’s hungry, but it appears he has legitimate trauma around his experiences with poverty because what he’s humorously describing is a trauma response. His mind hasn’t gotten rid of the anxiety of “I’m eating now so I better make it count because I don’t know when I will again.”

Because he’s a comedian he manages to frame it as a joke, but there’s certainly an underlying sadness. It also informs Evan Kelmp’s characterization. Capitalism is the root issue here and poverty is state-sanctioned economic abuse.

Anyway, I hope he’s doing well and taking care of himself.

[nat-20s]

Every time that the stakes are now So So So high in Doctor Who I'm like. Congratulations to Fourteen for well and truly fucking off. His ass is NOT dealing with death gods his ass is trying to get rid of the spider mites on the basil

[ayo-edebiri]

#Literally me with any subject

[vinestaff]

sighs. another guy in my brain i guess

[insomniphic]

Part 1 of 2

Do you really think that after 20 years worth of near death experiences, survival, and torture Odysseus would still have moments where he'd rely on instinct? I mean common, too many problems arose when he's in a vulnerable state like sleep, and was forced to stay with a goddess that wanted to climb his bed. He might be safe now, but his nerves find "safety" foreign at this point.

Anyways, there's a second part to this. This one just got too long for me to finish in one sitting.

PART 2

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abby and Into the pit Oswald have similar “friends”..

[aloekat]

his ass is NOT grant o’brien!!!!

[cj-the-random-artist]

Ok hear me out: Narilamb but they're both aroace and in a qpr.

I've been rolling around in my head for like a long long time this idea that Narinder and Lambert could both be aroace and (after like. A couple of centuries or so) end up in this like very comfortable very close relationship that neither of them define as anything specific other than calling it a "companionship". But on the other hand most of the cult thinks that they're dating in secret or something despite the fact that both of them have said they don't take lovers, because they are clearly very tight but maybe not super openly so, so maybe the cultists thing they're being secretive and hiding something or something like that. Idk but my aroace brain loves thinking about extremely close (mostly) platonic relationships and for some reason my brain decided hmm. I'm going to take this and throw it at Narilamb and see how I like it.

So then I decided to make a ridiculous joke comic about Narinder asking Lambert's hand in marriage specifically because he wants to get out of paying taxes. Because like, I know that spouse followers do actually still have to pay taxes in the actual game but. Hey Narinder and Lambert have presumably never married so they probably don't know that...? Honestly the only reason I made this was because the concept tickled me and I spent too much time on this for no one to see it, so. This comic and all it's absolute ridiculousness be upon ye.

While there's a tiny part of me that's been thinking about making this into an AU (which I'd probably call something like the "Strictly Platonic AU" or something), I know for a fact that I would blatantly not do anything legitimate with it so. It's an unofficial AU I guess?? But. Anyways. I thought this would be funny. Enjoy my ramblings and I hope you enjoy this thing that I spent. Actual time on. Lol

[beesorcery]

finally got around to this weeks nsbu

[0vergrowngraveyard]

mr and mrs prower seeing the child they abandoned suddenly on the news being praised because he singlehandedly stopped a missile from blowing up a whole city