#but he's never not the problem

[stackthedeck]

if you're spider-man fanfic does not have a moment where Peter does this

and he's 100% right then I'm sorry you and I have nothing to say to each other

[cowboysmp3]

there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

UGHGJHTGH THEYRE SO FAMILY TO MEEEE

[technically-human]

Jayce Talis but give him the Giopara (lack of) charm

[chloesimaginationthings]

William gives Michael a very “good” FNAF gift..

[rystiel]

i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny and Jason kissing behind the gym.

Danny pulling back: Hey, do you know Batman?

Jason, 15 and panicking: No, why do you ask?

Danny: It would be better if you knew him, then him just following you around for no reason.

Jason: What?

Danny: Don't make it obvious, but he's watching us.

Jason: What? *Turns around*

Bruce:

Jason: omg he's so embarrassing.

Danny: I mean the word I would use is odd, maybe even horrifying if you don't know him, but he usually just stands in the background making angry noises so I'm sure he's harmless.

Jason: Usually!?

Danny: Yeah, he's been following us around since we started dating. You haven't noticed?

Jason: No!

Danny: Really? Can't you feel his hate when he glares at us?

Jason: obviously not!

Danny: Huh. I thought he was homophonic, but maybe it's just me he hates. Hmmmm. We should kiss more to test it.

Jason: No! Look, I have to get to class and make a call to my dad. I'll see you later

Danny: Okay but Batman is making threatening motions with one of his throwing knifes so I may be found dead in a ditch later. Can I have one last kiss goodbye?

Jason: No

Danny: I guess I'll die.

[aprill-99]

Xaden: “Okay everyone, safety briefing for this weekend.”

Xaden *to Ridoc and Bodhi*: “Do not add to the population.”

Xaden *to Imogen*: “Do not subtract from the population.”

Xaden *to Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Garrick in order*: “Do not end up in the newspaper, the hospital, or in jail.”

Xaden *to Violet*: “If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The dog days are over.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[lazylittledragon]

i am losing my entire shit right now, this single panel caused a nuclear disaster in my ig comments when someone said "halsin just saying 'astarion's partner' instead of his name feels icky"

which is such a fucking reach by itself but descended into this in about 5 seconds

[temeyes]

eyebrows >:^(

[poirott]

David Suchet watching Poirot clips on Instagram

- Poirot and More clip, December 8 2023 (also on David's Twitter)

[thebibliosphere]

Sometimes I boot Gotham Knights just to enjoy the background ambience of Gotham at night while I'm doing other stuff. It's nice hearing the occasional quip from an NPC as something happens down on the streets below, paired with the gentle drumming of the incessant rain. If you scale up high enough, all you'll hear is the rain and the gentle thrum of the city. It's quite meditative in a way.

Sometimes, I leave it running and forget it's the game and not a similar ambient sound on YouTube. I don't even think to check sometimes. I just leave my word processor in fullscreen mode and go about my tasks like a Roomba bumping into things and wandering off to do others.

All of this is to say I just about pissed myself when, after forty minutes of uninterrupted writing and listening to what I thought was YouTube, I went down into the dimly lit basement to do laundry with my noise-canceling headset on, only to get halfway through loading the washer when I heard the dulcet, expressive tones of Jason Todd sighing directly into my ear like gravel sliding over sheet metal.

When I tell you, the scream I screamt. Hgjkgolwmeoihgksdjvmn

Like I'm so sorry, Mister Todd. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you up there in the rain, but also CAN YOU NOT?!

[chloesimaginationthings]

NEVER ask FNAF Vanny about her past…

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 112

Once again, you know who is underutilized in DCxDP crossovers? Battinson. Skrunkly shivering boi. Who we should definitely give children to care for. 

 Did you know that Jason canonically had a brother named Danny? Well you do now, and it should also be used more. 

 We all want to give Battinson a robin, so why not give him four for the price of two. He of course gets Dick from the circus- he’s never going to go into public again, this was the first time he’d gone to do something out of his comfort zone for a while and look how that turned out. 

 And on one of the nights that Dick has to stay home (Alfred insists he must finish his homework if he wants to go out on patrol) Bruce returns to the batmobile to find not one child, but two. Is Danny reincarnated? Just appeared one day? Who knows, but he’s here now and going to protect his little brother. 

 Bruce might have tears in his eyes when they both hit him in the kneecaps and bolt because even with the armor it still hurts. How he manages to grab both kids he’s not too sure, but he ends up getting them food after they put the tires back. He also doesn’t understand how he’s convinced them into the car but they’ve both conked out and maybe he’s panicking and needs Alfred- 

 D-Dick why is there another child here? He’s the neighbor, cool cool. W-what do you mean he’s home alone, he’s like, 4?? What do you mean he’s been alone for a week now???

…

Alfreeeeed-