#but he had no choice in the end.
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does anyone else ever think about how much evangelion is about growing up too fast and too soon and yet never growing up at all. because i do. i think about it every fucking day
#icarus speaks#asuka was SO mature for her age. and yet she never stopped being that scared little girl#who watched her mother die right in front of her. an act that killed a part of asuka herself too#and shinji. wasn’t. he was just a kid#but everyone around him told him he had to be more. he didn’t want to be more. he wanted to be 14#but he had no choice in the end.#rei was never allowed to grow up. not really.#she was never allowed to be human. so of course she didn’t experience a human upbringing#she was an adult and a child all at once. a doll and her own person. and she was also neither.#god can u tell i’m fuckign insane about them#don’t even get me started on kaworu
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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New blorbo :)
Also a silly interaction with this piece
#cardcaptor sakura#eriol hiiragizawa#I wish I had the big hat big robe flowy cape drip. I wish#spoilers so don’t read further if you haven’t reached the end of sakura (looking at you whery)#but I enjoy him immensely and it makes me so sad to see how much he’s shipped with tomoyo#in old fanfics and stuff I mean.#like I don’t agree sometimes with the show’s direction of romantic relationships (rika and terada sensei come to mind)#but to me tomoyo is a diehard lesbian and you cannot convince me she’d be happy with Eriol#that aside I do think eriol is the most fascinating character and also a dead ringer for most of the traits I like in characters lmao.#if I had a nickel for every time I enjoyed a character who is mature for his age and has more power than he knows what to do with#I think a character study on him would be cool#like when did he realize he wasn’t aging. was his aging restricted because of his magic or an intentional choice from the memories of clow.#where does clow end and eriol begin and how much does memory contribute to identity#I’d really like to see a fic just about his interactions with fujitaka and the kinomoto family as well
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We always want to give our children what we never got for ourselves.
#friends bisexual worsties father daughter... whatever they are i love them. and he cares about her sm#he loves her so much. stacy made the call for him and so years later#hes giving her what he wished he had:#the choice to end the suffering on her own time and not when someone else says it's been enough#i could write an essay on this but for now... this will suffice#house md#web weaving#my webs#remy thirteen hadley#gregory house#stacy warner#lisa cuddy#1x21#7x18#robert chase#my caps
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i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness
#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY#like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her#bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him#HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT#ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr#being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life#also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't#i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line#jacob black#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight blog#bella swan#jacob twilight#quil ateara#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#embry call#sam uley#stephanie meyer#smeyer#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#twilight critical#mine#jake
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I had some angsty thoughts so we shall suffer tgt with my doodle.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#the only way I’ll accept Emmrich being a skeleton smooch is if he is human but a choice made causes him to change#had the thought of his personal quest having that as an outcome#and how by that point his relationship with rook would strong enough#that death isn’t the end#it’s a new beginning#excuse me I’m having angsty thoughts ahahah#oopsie#suffer with me
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when a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes
OR: what were we supposed to take away from episode 4 if not ‘bucky is a war widow’
#masters of the air#mota#motaedit#hbowaredit#bucky egan#john egan#clegan#like it's genuinely a 1:1 parallel and i'm NOT supposed to read bucky in ep4 as a grieving widow???#this kind of also turned into a rumination on how willfully optimistic bucky is that they'll both make it through the war#(he has no other choice. his heart couldn't take another—)#hence the titular smoke getting in his eyes. you understand#he's blinded by love and then by rage. and i adore him#this ended up being more of a video essay than an amv so i hope people enjoy it!!#i had a really good time making it and i'm really proud :')#particularly the sequence of him seeing the bomb in london -> seeing the bomb in germany -> the sunset in algiers#also clearly continuing my mission of making mota amvs to big band / jazz :)))#ANYWAY.#kbsd.amv#kbsd.hbow#40sjukebox
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spoilers for my fanfic but i dont know if ill have the energy to finish it, so here's some uh oh doodles
#my art#anihita europa#messmer the impaler#sote#sote spoilers#for context in case u want it. messmer chose rellana's loyalty over anihita's oaths so she dipped. messmer ended up regretting his choice#bc rellana is sort of using her position to feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose and he doesn't want to BE her purpose#but he didn't want to abandon what he saw as a treasured friend and companion. but rellana said some very bad things about ani regarding he#uh. situationship with rennala. and messmer didn't tell her to cut it out. so anihita left. couldnt do it. cant do this again.#messmer ultimately tried to help anihita in the final fight and miquella stole his eyeball and released the base serpent#so ani had to fight the base serpent. and the starscourge. and a god. all at once#and she fucking did it. but god she does not want to be alive anymore.
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they hated illario because he was a d1 yapper who was bad at assassinating people and was so annoyingly drunk and grief stricken at his cousin’s wake that viago had to drug him to shut him up (so what if he was also the guy who set his cousin up to die/disappear) . and also for working with the venatori and selling out the antivan crows i guess.
#illario as a guy who regretted his power grab but had no choice but to double down after lucanis came back is interesting to me btw#not entirely canon compliant to how the story is set up but yeah#even illario going WHAT . when he finds out lucanis is alive i am choosing to believe is him panicking because#zara did not in fact get him to die. illario thought he would die there. he did not. (what has he done) (shit. he has to do it himself)#and double on that . caterina didnt trust him enough to tell him#once again reminded he is dellamorte the lesser !#and still he knows hes not even a good crow. he couldnt actually kill lucanis. he cant actually bring himself to kill lucanis!#so ofc he spends the next act trying to manipulate him into leaving and for lucanis to believe its his own doing#and only when all of this fails (too soft to even kill his grandma btw) he has a public brawl w lucanis#that ends so badly for him that he is humilated in front of all the remaining talons#hes literally my babygirl#illario dellamorte#dav spoilers#dav#txt#rook: im sorry abt illario :/#viago: dont be. he had many unredeeming qualities from before he was a traitor
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Thinking about how, at the end of the day, at the fatal moment, the sunset of the Republic, it wasn’t Yoda, or Obi-Wan, or even the Chosen One himself standing in the way of Palpatine. It was Mace Windu.
Mace Windu, the inventor of Vaapad and Master of Form VII, the Jedi's strongest duelist, the only person to ever defeat Palpatine in combat. Mace Windu, Master of the Jedi Council and the youngest Master ever appointed to it, the revered leader of the Order. Mace Windu, who forgave even those who tried to kill him, who risked his life over and over again for his troops, who, after 3 years of desperate war, tried to negotiate with battle droids. Mace Windu, who knew the clones were created by the Sith and chose to trust them, who saw every Shatterpoint in the Republic, and loved it still, and fought for it until his last breath, until he was betrayed by Anakin, who he believed in and trusted despite everything.
Mace Windu, High General and hero of the Republic, the embodiment of the Light, the last and greatest champion of the Order, the best Jedi to ever live.
#I’ve said my piece goodnight#don’t play with me Mace Antis I have receipts for every last one of these#pretty much everyone agrees that he was the best duelist there was and he obviously won the fight#Anakin's choice wouldn't make thematic sense otherwise#also vader did not defeat palpatine in combat sorry he just grabbed him while he was distracted#it literally had to be a fair fight and Anakin had to be the one to choose to create the empire that's what the prequels are about#Star Wars databank calls him ‘revered’ shatterpoint tells us he was the youngest (real) member of the council#Boba Fett (tcw) and Prosset Dibs (comics) tried to kill him and he asked for amnesty and forgave them#literally just watch the Ryloth arc he spends most of his screentime saving his men#in tcw season seven he pleads with the battle droids to surrender hoping that no one else has to die#there's the part near the end of tcw where the council realizes that the clones were created by Dooku but Mace and the rest of the council#trust the clones so much they're willing to ignore it#the scene from Mace's POV in the rots novelization talks about how much he loves the republic and how he was blindsided by Anakin's betraya#because he trusted him!! we see in aotc that he has more faith in Anakin's abilities than Obi-wan#and he defeated the most powerful sith of all time single-handedly#BEST JEDI EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!#sw prequels#star wars prequels#prequel trilogy#sw prequel trilogy#star wars prequel trilogy#sw rots#star wars rots#revenge of the sith#star wars revenge of the sith#galactic republic#pro mace windu#mace windu#pro jedi order#pro jedi
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a nuance that gets a bit lost in martin 'murder' blackwood is that while he's definitely not against a good killing, it's more of a fun couple's activity rather than true heartfelt passion, you know?
i mean, twice he's had the opportunity to have Jonah get shanked, and he foils them, even though he wants the guy dead. Like, murder is always an option, but he usually tries other, less direct methods first - in fact id say that his trying to be clever and moral still leading up to the end of the world is exactly what drives him to say, ok well fuck it then, let's get our murder on
#tma#tma s5#martin blackwood#martin#joos yaps#might've made a post like this before. fuck it#referring to 1) melanie making it quite clear she wants to kill elias for the s3 finale#vs martins plan#and 2) s4 finale of course#EDIT: some good points in the tags too about his most infamous Murder Moments being cheering Jon on#instead of doing it himself#when he can convince himself it's not actually his decision#i do wonder often what wouldve been the resulting arc if Martin had the power to end Avatars as easily as Jon in s5#if he'd been as eager or if the weight of the choice to actively do it would slow him down#if he'd stubbornly gone further with it to ignore that it wasn't changing or helping one iota#or if the guilt (if not for the deaths - for not being able to fix things) would lead to much the same result as it did with Jon
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so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii
#doctor who#donna noble#tenth doctor#the fires of pompeii#literally this is donna's second trip#the first time she met the doctor she saw what he was capable of#and this episode does that too but in a different way#somebody far more eloquent than i needs to elaborate on how this was on a small scale reminiscent#of what the doctor had to do to end the time war#(or at least at this point thought he did. not getting into the timey-wimey retcons rn)#and how he always seems to end up having to make these soulcrushing choices on his own bc that's what being the doctor means#but donna does something very different here and chooses to take half the weight of this impossible choice#and i am very 😭 about it#don't mind me just spiraling over a sixteen year old episode of doctor who on this fine thursday afternoon#as one does#wait.... it's tuesday. dammit.#my posts
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You got a Haruka! ✨
#she is like a cat#SHE adopted Kiryu; he had no choice xD#btw it's not a stretch to say that Haruka saved Kiryu's life#yes I cried at the ending of YK1 when I played it the first time#Now I just want them to have a happy ending in Y8 because RGG loves to keep them separated ahhhhh#yakuza#like a dragon#ryu ga gotoku#rgg#龍が如く#桐生一馬#kazuma kiryu#kiryu kazuma#fanart#my art#gazkerber#illustration#games#videogames#haruka sawamura#sawamura haruka#澤村 遥
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This is the face of a man who's mentally going through all of his exes to figure out which one he got pregnant.
#tdp viren#viren tdp#lord viren#what if he and opeli had a drunk one night stand once?#it ended up with them hating one another even more#it didn't however end up in a way where you can definitely rule out pregnancy#sidenote: viren do you think you have a choice here? since when were you the one in control?#you can choose to be done with aaravos but what matters is whether or not aaravos chooses to be done with you#tdp#i am rewatching before s6 comes out!#virpeli in the tags btw
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Man “Battle Nexus: New York” was a great episode but I do have one major gripe with it.
Like. Raph being paired up with Ghostbear? Makes sense. Works great. Works amazing, even.
Mikey being paired up with Meatsweats? Yeah that checks out!!
Donnie getting…Hypno…? I mean. I guess Donnie doesn’t like magic so it kindaaa works but Kendra would have been a much better choice to me personally. Maybe Big Mama didn’t wanna include a human or something…
And Leo getting…uh…one of the Sando Brothers???? Of all villains? Nah let’s be real, his main villain is more Big Mama herself (or Leo could be considered his own worst enemy lmao-). Hell Hypno would have probably worked better here considering their shared love for magic tricks and stuff, but Carl Sando????
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#battle nexus: new york#nah this will always be baffling to me#like no joke big mama really is Leo’s main villain so it makes sense that she’s not paired with him#given that she’s running this all#but giving him ONE of the Sando brothers?? not even both???#outrageous#hypno or even warren would have been better here tbh#at least there’s some basis there for both and either option would have been so fun#not that what we got WASNT fun it def was but the sando bro was the weak link because no one cares about him#and I would have killed for a Donnie Kendra forced team up 😭#Donnie also could have worked with Stockboy ig or hell even Repo tbh?#but Kendra is the much more interesting and fitting choice here for him imo#honestly though this post was made because I do NOT understand the choice of CARL SANDO#both of them together are forgettable enough#separating them gets rid of the one thing they even had#I remember watching and being like who tf is that#he’s got some funny moments but man anyone would have been better 😭#going back to Kendra and Donnie because I LOVE their dynamic#the result of their team up could have ended exactly the same as canon#only instead of Kendra not knowing chess it’s instead her and Donnie arguing about what the right move would be#and they never actually make a move because of it
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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