#but he does a lot better than lots of authors from his context

[cenvast]

"Toshiro Is Sexist," "Toshiro Owns Slaves": What's Really Going on With This Guy?

I've seen a lot of debate on whether or not Toshiro is problematic because he's a slave owner or because he's sexist in the context of his crush on Falin. While I do want to examine his relationship to Falin, I'd like to take a few steps back and unpack his upbringing first. We'll dive into the gender and class dynamics he was raised with and how it impacts his behavior in the main storyline.

Like all people, Toshiro is shaped by the environment he grew up in. Toshitsugu, Toshiro's father and the head of the Nakamoto clan, is the most impactful model of authority and manhood in his life. Toshiro does recognize some of his father's flaws and tries to avoid replicating them. But whether or not he emulates or subverts his father's behavior, Toshitsugu is often the starting point for Toshiro's treatment of others, particularly marginalized people.

The Nakamoto clan exists under a patriarchal hierarchy with Toshitsugu at the top. As noted by @fumifooms in their Nakamoto household post, his wife has more authority than Maizuru. She's able to ban Maizuru from parts of their residence, but despite disliking his infidelity, she can't divorce him or stop him from cheating on her. Their marriage is not an equal partnership.

On an interpersonal level, Toshitsugu and Maizuru also have a fraught relationship. While she does seem to care for him, she's often frustrated by his thoughtless behavior.

For example, he drunkenly buys Izutsumi for her — without considering how she'll have to raise this child — and invades her room in the middle of the night. When he cryptically says, "It's all my fault," she replies, "I can think of a lot of things that are your fault." She calls him an "idiot" and "believes that [Toshiro] will grow up to be a better clan leader than his father," implying that she takes issue with Toshitsugu's leadership.

Because Maizuru and Toshitsugu are described as being "in an intimate relationship" and "seem[ing] to be lovers," Maizuru appears to be a consensual participant. Still, this doesn't negate the large power imbalance between them as a male noble clan leader and his female retainer. This imbalance introduces an insidious undertone to Maizuru's frustration with Toshitsugu. Like Toshiro's mother, Maizuru doesn't have the agency to do as she pleases in their relationship; he has the ultimate authority. For instance, she doesn't seem to want to raise Izutsumi, but she has to anyway.

While Maizuru's role as Toshitsugu's mistress is significant, she's also the Nakamoto clan's teacher and Toshiro's primary maternal figure. She cares deeply for Toshiro: tailing him, feeding him, and taking responsibility even for his actions as an adult. While it might seem sweet that she cares for him like a son at first, Maizuru was notably fifteen years old at the time of his birth. In the extra comic below, he's six years old and has already been in her care for some time. Even if we're being generous and assuming that she didn't start raising him until he was six, she was still only twenty-one at the time she was parenting her boss/lover's child with another woman.

Maizuru's roles as mistress and maternal figure, in addition to her role as retainer, demonstrate the intersection between gendered and class oppression in the Nakamoto household. Despite her original role being a retainer trained in espionage, Toshitsugu presses her into performing gendered labor for him and eventually, Toshiro. She's expected to be Toshitsugu's lover, perform emotional labor for him as his confidant, care for his child, and carry out domestic tasks like cooking. She says, "Even during missions, I was often dragged into the kitchen." If she was a male servant, I doubt she would have been expected to perform these additional tasks. She can't avoid these tasks either, stating that her "own feelings don't factor into it."

Toshitsugu disregards his wife's and Maizuru's desires and emotions to serve his own interests. Because he has societal power over them as a nobleman and in Maizuru's case, her master, neither woman can escape their position in the household hierarchy.

As a result, Toshiro grew up within a structure where men and male nobility, in particular, wield the most societal power. The hierarchical nature of his household and society discourages everyone, including him as a clan leader's eldest son, from questioning and disrupting the existing hierarchy.

The other Nakamoto household members also internalize its sexist, classist power dynamics.

For example, Hien expects that she and Toshiro will replicate the uneven dynamics of the previous generation, regardless of her personal feelings. She sees her and Toshiro's relationship as paralleling Maizuru and Toshitsugu's relationship; she is the closest woman to Toshiro and his retainer, so she's shocked when Toshiro doesn't attempt to begin an intimate relationship with her. Notably, she doesn't have actual feelings for him. Her expectations are centered around the household's precedent of placing emotional, sexual, domestic, and child-rearing labor onto the female servants without any regard for their personal desires.

Hien also probably knows that her position in the household will improve if she is Toshiro's lover because she's seen it improve Maizuru's position. However, the fact that being the future clan leader's lover is the closest proximity she, as a female servant, has to power further reveals the gendered, class-based oppression she and the other women live under.

It's important to note that the Nakamoto clan bought Benichidori, Izutsumi, and Inutade as slaves, so they have less power and agency than Maizuru and Hien. The clan further dehumanizes Izutsumi and Inutade as demi-humans; their enslavement contains an additional layer of racialization.

Toshiro isn't oblivious to the gendered, class, and racial power dynamics of his household. He tries to distance himself from participating in its exploitative power structure. He walls himself off from Hien, who he's known since childhood, to avoid replicating his father's behavior and making his servant into his lover. He disapproves of his father's enslavement of Izutsumi and Inutade, and he lets Izutsumi go when she runs away in the Dungeon.

But does any of this absolve him of his complicity in his household's sexist, classist power dynamics and racialized slavery?

The short answer is absolutely not.

Despite his distaste for his father's exploitation of his servants and slaves, Toshiro still uses them. He refers to his party as "his retainers," and he has them fight and perform domestic tasks for him. You could argue that Toshiro doesn't like to and thus, doesn't regularly use his servants and slaves. In the context of him asking his retainers to help him rescue Falin, Maizuru says, "The only time he ever made any sort of personal request was for this task." But it shouldn't matter whether exploitation is a regular occurrence or not for it to be considered harmful. Toshiro asking Maizuru to cook him a meal still constitutes asking his female servant to perform gendered labor for him. He's also very accustomed to her grooming and dressing him.

Maizuru sees feeding, washing, and even advising Toshiro romantically as fulfilling Toshitsugu's orders to care for his son. They aren't fulfilling a "personal request." But just because her labor has been deemed expected and thereby devalued doesn't mean that it isn't labor or that she isn't performing it.

Maizuru's dynamic with Toshiro is also complicated by her role as his maternal figure. She loves him and wants to take care of him, and she doesn't have a choice in the matter. During Toshiro's childhood, the onus was on Toshitsugu to cease exploiting his lover and release her from servitude, but Toshiro is now an adult man. Seeing as how Maizuru defers to his wishes and calls him "Young Master," they still have a power imbalance that he's passively maintaining. Ideally, he would not ask anything of her until he has the authority to release her from servitude.

Throughout the story, Toshiro acts as if he has no agency and quietly disapproving of his father's actions absolves him of his participation in maintaining oppressive dynamics. While his father still ranks higher than him, he's essentially his father's heir. He has much more power than Maizuru, the highest-ranked servant. At the very least, he could leave his slave-owning household.

Unfortunately, his refusal to confront injustice is consistent with his character's major flaw: he does not express his opinions, desires, or needs. While this character trait obviously hurts his friendships, it also furthers his complicity in the injustices his household runs on.

Toshiro's relationship with eating food — the prevailing metaphor of the series — also parallels his relationship with confronting injustice. Maizuru mentions that he was a sickly child, so the act of eating may have been physically uncomfortable for him. As an adult, his refusal to eat crops up during his rescue attempt of Falin. Denying himself food might have been punishment for not accomplishing important tasks like rescuing Falin and/or a way to maintain control over something in his life when he felt like he'd lost control over the rest of it, again in the context of losing Falin. (Note: I suggest reading this post on Toshiro's disordered eating by @malaierba.)

But he cannot and does not avoid consuming food forever.

Similarly, Toshiro keeps his distance from his retainers and tries not to use them until the Falin situation occurs. His efforts to avoid exploiting his retainers amount to inaction — things he doesn't ask of them or do to them. But his inaction does nothing to dismantle the existing hierarchy that places his retainers under his authority, denies them agency, and often marginalizes them as not only servants or slaves but as women, and he ends up using them as servants and slaves anyways.

Returning to the narrative's themes of consumption, Toshiro cannot avoid eating just as he cannot avoid perpetuating the exploitative system of his household. The Nakamoto clan consumes the labor and personhood of those lower in the hierarchy. The retainers' labor as spies and domestic servants is the foundation of the clan's existence. Thus, the clan consumes their labor to sustain itself.

Within this hierarchy, the retainers' personhood is also consumed and erased. As Izutsumi describes, they are given different names and stripped of their agency to reject orders or leave. Maizuru and Hien also say their feelings are irrelevant in the context of Toshitsugu's and Toshiro's wants and needs. Both women are expected to comply with whatever is most beneficial and comfortable for the noblemen. Clearly, despite Toshiro's detachment from his household's functions, these social structures remain in place and harm the women under him.

Although we know the Nakamoto clan has male retainers, the choice to highlight the female retainers seems intentional. We're asked to interrogate how not only being a servant or a slave in a noble household impacts a person's life and agency, but how being a woman intersects with being a member of some of the lowest social classes.

Toshiro only distances himself from his father's behaviors of infidelity and exploitation so long as it doesn't take Toshiro out of his comfort zone. He doesn't free his slaves. He's far too comfortable with his female retainers performing domestic labor for him, and he barely acknowledges their efforts; they're shocked when he thanks them for helping him save Falin. He hasn't unpacked his sexist (or classist or racist) biases because he perpetuates his household's oppressive hierarchy throughout the narrative. Considering all of this, he inevitably brings this baggage to his interactions with Falin.

Falin is presumably one of the first women he's had extended contact with that isn't his relative or his family's servant. Because of his trauma surrounding his father and Maizuru sleeping together, he understandably falls for a woman as disconnected as possible from his father and his clan. He seems to genuinely like Falin, respects her boundaries, and graciously accepts her rejection. His behavior towards her is overall kind and unproblematic.

But if Falin had gone with him, she would've likely been devalued and sidelined like the other women of the Nakamoto household. No matter how much he loves Falin, simply loving her cannot replace the difficult work of unlearning his sexism. Love, of course, can and should be accompanied by that work, but by the close of the narrative, we gain little indication that Toshiro acknowledges or seeks to end his part in exploiting and devaluing women and other marginalized people.

A spark of hope does exist. Toshiro expressing his feelings to Laios and Falin suggests that his time away from home has encouraged him to speak up more. Breaking his habit of avoidance may be the first step towards acknowledging his complicity in systems of injustice and moving towards dismantling them.

Special thanks to my very smart friend @atialeague for bringing up Toshitsugu's relationship with Maizuru and the replication of dynamics of consumption and class! <3

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + six

authors note: i really like how this one came out. hope you guys do too.

i use some psych terminology, so just as a lil glossary: pt=patient, dx=diagnosis, hx =history, fx=functioning status (mental stability, essentially) and hopefully everyone can understand the rest with context clues.

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, language, medical report following suicide attempt, discussion of sexual abuse, mention of torture

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

words: 10k (i don't know how to write short chapters, clearly)

The last thing Solana expected to wake up to is a handwritten note left for her in the same journal she deposited on Roman’s bed despite her better judgment. She was filled to the brim with anxiety regarding that bold decision, asking him to do something she’s certain is miles outside of his comfort zone.

She expected him to ignore her. 

What she didn’t expect was for him to reply.

Reading over his words, Solana struggles with the ease of his acquiescence. He indicated it could be short term, but she’ll take that, because it’s a hell of a lot easier for her to talk to this man if it’s through written word.

And the last part. 

There’s nothing you can’t tell me.

There’s actually a lot she can’t tell him. A lot he can never know. No one can know, but the sentiment behind it…..it has her puzzled. He has her puzzled. 

Solana grabs the journal and scans the kitchen for a pen when a thought crosses her mind. She bites down on her bottom lip, forever battling with the idea of something vs the actuality of carrying out the plan.

In a plot twist, she sides with the plan and pulls out her phone, searching for Roman’s contact.

She types, deletes, and does so again at least three times before settling on a text that really could have been conjured and sent in seconds vs the solid ten minutes she takes to issue it out.

Solana: Hi. Thank you. Do you think we could text too? I know that writing is my thing, but I can text if that’s easier for you too….thanks.

Solana nearly tosses her cell phone on the large slab that is his granite kitchen island and moves around to figure out what she’s going to fix for breakfast. The perfect excuse for her to not think about the knots in her stomach at her message. It doesn’t stop the overthinking though.

What if she’s asking too much? Pushing him too far out of his comfort zone? It doesn’t take long for her to regret her decision, wishing it was still within the time limits to unsend her message.

And then her phone dings.

Solana nearly drops the egg she was about to crack over the skillet. Swallowing, she places it back in the bowel as her feet slowly carry her to the phone that has now dinged a second time. Her fingers dance against the sides of her pants, stretching and scratching the cotton. 

Lifting her phone, she unlocks her phone and heads straight to his thread.

Roman: Yes.

It’s a simple response that makes sense for him and is beneficial for Solana who sighs in relief at his agreement. She stews on how to respond, eventually settling on a simple thank you as well as answering his question. The least she can do. 

Solana: Thank you…

Solana: And I don’t work this weekend. 

Solana: Can I ask you something?

Solana again starts chewing on her bottom lip as she mentally berates herself for bombarding him with messages when he’s probably in the middle of working.

But even so, that doesn’t stop him from replying almost instantly.

Roman: You don’t have to ask if you can ask me something, Solana. Just ask. 

It’s hard not to imagine the frustration on his face at answering her question while also having to remind her of what he’s already stated at one point or another. 

Solana: Okay…

Solana: Where are we going?

She’s unsure if he will respond and has accepted that he may not, which is okay with her. He’s already being more responsive than she initially anticipated he would. And Solana is barely able to put the skillet on the fire before her phone is buzzing again.

Roman: You’ll see.

His answer makes her frown. It’s not what she wanted to hear, but it’s also not a complete disregard or verbal lashing for asking a simple question.

Solana prepares to leave it as is when Roman’s voice is in the back of her mind, nudging and reminding her of his desire for her to communicate with him more.

Nervous fingers type out an expression of said nerves.

Solana: Okay….surprises just make me nervous. 

She doesn’t have time to put her phone down when those three dots appear, indicating he’s typing.

Roman: It’s nothing bad.

Roman: I wouldn’t lie to you. 

And for some strange reason, Solana believes that. Roman doesn't seem like a man to lie in general, because he’s too blunt for that. 

Unless….

Unless it’s one of his mind games, because he is notorious for that. Still, she can’t find a reason why he would waste his time playing one of those with her. 

Solana: Okay. Sorry to text you while you’re working.

Roman: You’re apologizing again.

Roman: And I don’t care. 

Roman: I’d rather talk to you than listen to the twins bullshit.

Solana tries to not put too much into his words, into him saying that he wants to talk to her. It’s not that he directly wants to speak to her, more she’s the lesser of two evils. Nothing to get into her head about.

Solana: They’re kinda funny….🙈

Roman: You’d feel differently if you had to deal with them all the time. 

Solana: Fair.

The exchange is so in the moment, back to back, that she doesn’t put her phone down again until her last message. She then returns to preparing her breakfast. 

Solana is frying her eggs, adding in seasoning when her phone dings again. Wiping her hands on her apron, she expects a message from Bayley or even Naomi.

Especially Naomi. She needs to talk to her about what happened, apologize for putting her in what must have been an awkward situation.

It’s neither of them.

Roman: How’d you start writing?

Roman continuing or prolonging the conversation isn’t something she saw coming. But, the message is right there in white writing against that gray background.

Solana briefly debates how honest to be in her answer, deciding to step a bit out of her comfort zone in offering more than just her usual three to five word responses. 

Solana: My mom. She spoke English, but she wasn’t fluent, so she’d write letters to me in Spanish, and I’d have to respond in English so we both could learn.

Solana: My dad wouldn’t let her teach or speak it around me and Wes so that was the only way I/she could learn.

He stops replying after that, and Solana feels stupid for being so open, for not just giving him a simple answer with all of the unnecessary verbiage.

And then her phone goes off.

Roman: Not surprising. 

When he doesn’t say anything else, Solana debates on whether to end it there or follow up with another question given that he asked one first. It feels like returning the favor or reciprocating manners.

Hence, she decides on texting him again. 

Solana: What is that language you speak to the twins sometimes?

Roman: Samoan. I’m fluent. Italian and English as well. 

That’s not entirely surprising. Roman is obviously a well educated, well rounded man. 

Roman: You’re more perceptive than you let off.

Solana: Maybe. But no one ever cares what I have to say or think, so it doesn’t make sense to share it. 

He stops replying after that.

And Solana tries to not think too much about her disappointment, moving around the kitchen to finish fixing breakfast as a distraction.

A poor distraction, because not even twenty minutes later, she’s ready to check her phone again even if it hasn’t made the special sound that makes her belly flutter. However, the sound of the doorbell pulls her from that premature excitement.

Solo comes to meet her in the kitchen informing matter-of-factly, “it’s Naomi and Bayley.” 

Solana stills. That’s definitely not someone she expected to see so soon. Neither of them.

“Invite them in?” Solo’s voice tinges with borderline irritation, which she can understand.

Cheeks reddening, she apologizes. “Yes. Sorry. Of—of course.”

Solana hears Bayley before she sees her. “Damn. This is how it’s like to live as the Tribal Chief's wife? Maybe shit isn’t so bad after all.” The two walking in wearing friendly smiles brings back Solana’s grin.

“Hey there. We wanted to come check on you.” Naomi introduces, the first to ask, “is it okay if we hug you?”

Solana doesn’t hesitate as much as she would expect herself to. “Yes.” 

Naomi also doesn’t hesitate and steps forward, hugging Solana in such a sincere way she’s not sure she’s experienced in years. Since her mom. 

And Bayley does the same, maybe even a little tighter.

The three of them sit down at the kitchen island as Bayley asks in a sympathetic tone. “How you doing, lady?”

“Better.” It’s an honest answer, and Solana can’t help but think about the additive that it’s largely due to Roman. But, she keeps that part to herself. She looks at Naomi. “I’m so sorry—“

Naomi lifts a manicured finger to silence her. “Girl, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I’m sorry I didn’t know what was going on. You could have told me too, but I get it must have been hard for you.”

This part had Solana deeply nervous, the part where she’d have to ‘face’ Naomi after causing such a scene and getting the whole place shut down for an entire day, So, for the woman with the penchant for bold colors that look delightful against her complexion to be so understanding and empathetic, it means a lot to Solana.

It means a lot that Bayley would also even tag along when she wasn’t even part of that chaotic ordeal.

“Just know you can tell us anything. We’ve got your back,” Bayley affirms, adding with a smirk. “And clearly your big bad husband does too.”

We’ve got your back.

Solana doesn’t even know where to begin comprehending and swallowing that. 

Thankfully, she doesn’t have too long to be in her head, because Naomi starts talking again. “That was wild,” she comments with a shake of her head and then looks at Solana. “Oh shit, you probably don’t know, do you?”

Solana’s stomach does the opposite of butterflies, the uncomfortable clenching and twisting that accompanies anxiety. “Know what?”

There’s no delay with the answer.

“Theory and Waller are dead.” Solana wasn’t sure what to expect to hear Naomi say, but even if she tried to guess, that would have never been one of her options.

Confusion is painted all over her face. “Wha—what?”

Dead.

The two men who just yesterday caused her to breakdown and revert back to her teenage years where dissociation was her coping mechanism, the men who’d been sexually harassing her with zero regards for her as a human and even more, as Roman’s wife….are dead.

It feels almost impossible to be true. 

Bayley backs up Naomi’s assertion, adding, “yeah, he had their bodies, or what was left, displayed at the Warehouse this morning.”

Chills travel up her spine. “W–why?”

It’a a word aimed towards a lot of the questions Solana has unanswered. Why are they dead? Why did Roman kill or have them killed? Sure, she expected there to be some form of punishment, merely for the simple fact that messing with her was a clear sign of disrespect toward him, which the Tribal Chief would never tolerate. But, for them to be killed, in such a what sounds like a gruesome manner, and their remains to be left for all to see?

Why?

Bayley answers with a shrug of her shoulders. “To send a message.”

Solana is surprisingly fast with her follow up. “W-what message?”

Naomi is quick with the answer, but in general, she seems to be knowledgeable about a lot of things Bloodline. “You’re Bloodline now. No one messes with us. And you’re Roman’s wife? Yeah, he’s making sure everyone knows what happens if they even think about fucking with you.”

It lines up, Solana reflecting back on Roman’s departing declaration the night before.

“I told you. No one lays a hand on you. I’m gonna make sure everyone understands that shit from here on out.”

She just never expected such a….big message. 

“Honestly, they were fucking creeps anyway.” Solana cannot and does not disagree with the first part of Bayley’s statement, the second part, however, is iffy for her. “They got exactly what they deserved.”

Solana neither agrees or disagrees with that.

“I’m thinking we do your training from here for a little while,” Naomi suggests. While her initial response is to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause Naomi, Solana can’t deny the fact that just the thought of walking back in that building right now makes her physically ill. “I know Roman got a state of the art gym here and that massive backyard of yalls? This will do just fine.” 

“Oooh, I gotta see this.” Bayley then asks, “Solana, are you working today?”

“No, I called out.” Solana needs at least a day to get her mind right, hence taking today off.

Bayley then suggests, “Naomi and I were gonna go shopping. Why don’t you come with us?” 

It's an interestingly timed question given one of Solana’s text exchanges with Roman not even an hour ago included him informing her that the stack of envelopes on the kitchen island earlier were her new set of cards, all linked to his accounts. 

And he made sure to reiterate again that there is no limit. For any of them.

Bayley then decides and declares, slapping her hand on the island. “Matter of fact, we’re not asking. We’re telling you that you’re going shopping with us.” That is something Solana is familiar with, never being asked, always being told.

It’s just rare, if ever, it’s something that isn't entirely bad or terrible she’s being told she needs to do. 

“I’ve been wanting to take you shopping for forever anyway. Because as sweet and great as you are, Solana, you dress like college freshman meets Billie Eilish.” Before Solana can ask what exactly that means, Naomi explains. “So much neutral and dark colors. And everything is oversized. I can tell you’re kind of insecure about your body, but you literally have no reason to be because you have an amazing shape.”

Solana doesn’t say anything, but her hand naturally goes to one of the scars on her arm from that night. 

Naomi notices this and advises in a gentle voice, “we all have scars, Solana. Some you can see and others you don’t.” Solana has both, and it’s a miserable experience. “That doesn’t mean you have to hide them and be ashamed.” 

“Naomi is right.” Bayley agrees, and something tells Solana she’s going out shopping today whether she wants to or not. “We are going to help you learn to embrace your curves one better fashionable choice at a time.” 

________

Solana can probably count on one hand how many times she’s gone shopping in person over the past couple years. Maybe longer. She mostly sticks to online shopping when she is in need of a couple new pieces, always sizing way up so she can assure that it fits. More so drapes over her body, but that’s always been the preference.

She’s also never shopped at stores where the price for a single item can be upwards to three to four figures, which apparently isn’t the case for Bayley and Naomi.

Cause one of the first items they pick up for her is a single blouse that reads $650.00 on the price tag. Solana nearly faints when she reads that. That’s probably the entire cost of her wardrobe put together. 

She’s starting to regret telling them about Roman adding her to his accounts. Naomi especially seemed thrilled at that, and she seems to be the one piling the cart with more and more items. Bayley also offering her fair share of contributions.

All the while Solo keeps a safe but comfortable distance, wearing that infamous stoic expression, Solana can’t help but wonder how he must be feeling about this, about having to spend his time watching her while she shops. It can’t be enjoyable for him at all. She feels sort of bad. 

“Oh my god, you have to try this on.” 

Feeling bad for someone else morphs into feeling bad for herself, to a certain extent, when Solana sees the dress that Naomi is holding up for her. 

In all interactions, Solana does her best to be polite and kind, to never invite a volatile or mean response. “Ummm, I don’t—I don’t think that’ll look good on me.”

It won’t look good for a lot of reasons, the main one being it’s too small. Solana can see the thin sleeved dress is intended to be form-fitting—another major red flag—but even with that, it’s obviously a size, or eight, too small.

Naomi makes a sound. “Girl, that’s just how it looks. It molds to your shape, and with all your curves, I know it’s going to be a killer look.” She then pushes it in Solana’s direction again. “At least try it on. You never know unless you try.”

But Solana does know. She knows this dress is going to draw attention to all of her flaws. The rolls, the pudge of her belly, her big arms, and those damn scars. But, she also doesn’t want to be rude, so she agrees, disappearing in the dressing room before emerging a couple minutes later, never once checking her reflection before doing so. 

She walks to where the ladies are waiting, asking with an awkward shrug of her shoulders, “well?”

Naomi gasps. “Holy shit, that looks amazing on you, Solana!”

“Of course it does. You see that body?” Bayley joins in on gassing her up, adding, “it really does look good, Solana. We wouldn't lie to you.”

Huh. That’s the second time today Solana has been told that. 

Bayley then instructs her to look at her reflection in the full body mirror of the dressing room, a dreaded task but one she makes herself complete. 

Solana does her best to try to be as neutral and not negative towards her appearance, but it’s hard when she keeps honing in on the scars on her arms, the one on her face, not to mention her weight and how, to her, it just seems too much. 

Her father’s sharp and consistent criticism starts to return to the forefront of her mind when she notices Naomi snap a photo. Turning on her heel, she asks with a level of nervousness, “w–what are you doing?” 

“Helping you to realize how bad as hell you are.” Naomi says it so casually, so calmly, turning her phone toward Solana. “See.”

It’s a thread, a group chat, and along with the picture Naomi just snapped, there’s an accompanying text.

Naomi: Solana is being stupid and thinks she looks bad in this dress. Please prove me and Bayley’s point. 

Solana’s eyes go wide when she realizes just who is in this group text. Jimmy, Jey, and Roman. 

Her stomach is twisting all over again. “Naomi, I—I don’t think—”

Naomi’s phone chimes, and a smile grows on her face as Bayley moves closer to Solana. 

Naomi starts laughing and then smirks as she flips it so Solana and Bayley can read. “I rest my case.”

Jey: Damn, Soso 👀 Hell yeah, she look good. Goddamn! 😫

Jimmy: I GYAT to start coming over to ya’ll house more, Uce. 🍑

Bayley makes a wolf sound, playfully shoving Solana whose cheeks are reddening by the second after reading the surprising response from the twins. She definitely either expected no response or an either kind or unkind disagreement. “We told you, girl. You look amazing.” Bayley then comments, directing her statement to Naomi. “Man, you and Jimmy definitely have a strong ass relationship, cause I’d be ready to kick his ass.”

Naomi shrugs, simply responding. “We trust each other. I know it stops at just looking for him. Same for me.”

Her phone makes a sound, and she reads whatever the latest incoming messages are, instantly rolling her eyes. “Roman is such an ass sometimes.”

Solana’s ear perks up at the mention of his name as she asks, “what did he say?”

Naomi turns her phone again so Solana can read for herself, her stomach twisting with anxiety when she reads his trenchant reply.

Roman: Shut the fuck up.

Roman: Unsend this shit, Naomi. Now.

But before Solana can panic about his response, her phone dings and she pulls it out to see his name on her lockscreen. Instead of delaying the inevitable, she unlocks to read his response, anticipating the worst.

Roman: You look good.

Roman: But you always look good. 

Solana has to read his text a couple of times before it actually registers. He thinks she looks good. Roman thinks she looks good. Even more, he thinks she always looks good. Solana doesn’t know how to take that, even though there really is only one way to take such a message.

Bayley and Naomi being the bit of nosy Nancy’s that they are, sneak a peek at Solana’s phone and also read his text. Bayley is the first to speak, displaying that knowing dimpled smile. “Ha! See. The Tribal Chief himself has spoken.”

Naomi and her share a laugh as Solana finds herself also with a small smile. Roman had told her the night of WarGames that she looked beautiful, and she hadn’t really known how to take that either, chalking it up to the face full of makeup and fancy updo.

But this photo Naomi snapped and sent shows her without a lick of makeup on, hair messily pulled back and out of the way. It’s literally just her in a dress, a dress she normally would never dare to brave, but something Roman apparently thinks she looks good in.

“Does…..does he really think I’m beautiful?” It’s a question she never intended to leave the safe confines of her mind, but it’s a rebel, sneaking its way out and landing on the doorstep of the two women before her.

Bayley, as per usual, is the first to speak. “Is that a serious question? Of course he thinks you’re beautiful, because you are. You’re absolutely stunning, Solana. You have to see that.”

“Most of the men at your wedding kept commenting on how pretty you are. And your boobs, of course, because men have no couth.” Naomi rolls her eyes but continues. “And as someone who has had the displeasure of knowing Roman literally since we were in elementary school, I can tell you that you’re 1000% his type.”

Solana doesn’t believe that Naomi has reason to lie to her. Bayley either. And as Naomi has been around the family for so long, her word has to be true. But, Solana has a hard time separating the fact that Roman, who has someone as beautiful and unflawed like Samantha, in the same vein, could think someone like her is beautiful. 

Samantha is beautiful, and someone he can actually touch.

Because regardless of how he views her, it all comes down to that. Physical intimacy. One of many things that Solana can’t give him.

But Samantha can.

Samantha does.

That’s why she was in the house that day, doing what Solana should but can’t because she’s too fucked up, too damaged, too broken. 

Bayley reaches over with a comforting hand, switching to Spanish. “Whatever you’re thinking right now, don’t. You’re beautiful, Solana. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Fuck anyone who’s ever said different.”

Solana isn’t quite sure how to describe how grateful she feels in this moment, to have such support, to have people be so genuinely and sincerely supportive. She hasn’t had that in so long, she’d almost forgotten that it was possible.

Emotion thick, she responds in the same language, “thank you, Bayley.”

“Okay, now that’s just not fair. I wanna know what’s going on too.” Naomi’s protest and almost childlike pout makes Solana smile, a nice break from the heavy emotional experience going on in her head. 

“Just some girls supporting girls shit.” Bayley shrugs and claps her hands together. “Okay, now let’s see what sexy little red pieces we can find for you….”

________

Texting and writing with Roman on and off for the rest of the week was never on Solana’s agenda, but it’s exactly what’s been happening. 

And she has no idea what to make of it. 

Every time there’s a delay with his response, she assumes that’s it. That’s the end of the conversation. Only for her phone to buzz with not only a response but usually a follow up question.

It’s almost as if he wants to keep the conversation going, but that can’t be it. She can’t see why he’d want to speak with her.

Even if he literally stated that he’d prefer to talk to her than listen to his cousins bicker. Still, his entire day can’t involve their presence. There has to be some separation at one point or another. 

But even with that, he’s consistent with eventually replying, acknowledging her messages even if the responses come hours after her first one was sent. 

And for the life of her, Solana cannot find a good or logical reason as to why her stomach flutters with a modicum to medium level of excitement every time her phone dings. 

Because she thinks it’s another text from Roman.

Because she’s enjoying speaking with him. Because she seeks out opportunities even while working to check her phone and see if he’s text her. It’s not traditional communication, and she’s certain there’s no way in hell she’d be able to talk to him this freely, this comfortably if it was verbal. 

Not a chance.

But in texting, she finds a level of ease that makes it significantly easier to get to know him. And maybe that’s what it is, she has some level of desire to get to know him more. If this “marriage” is to last, whatever that looks like, it feels like she needs to know more about him other than that he’s big, strong, and a killer.

Those traits more than speak for themselves, but there’s gotta be more, and there is. Like her now knowing he speaks three languages fluently and would like to pick up another someday if he ever has the time. Or that he works out at least twice every day and doesn’t feel right if he can’t get in at least one workout.

Similarly, Solana finds herself reciprocating his sharing of information, small facts that aren’t major but make a smidge of difference. Like her love of books and words. The few shows she enjoys. She especially doesn’t understand where that comes from. The sharing on her end. It’s something similar like her growing relationships with Bayley and Naomi. 

But that’s different, so so different, for a variety of reasons. One, they’re women, and while anxiety is something she struggles with in interactions with all individuals, regardless of sex, it’s much easier with them than men.

And Roman is not the average man, far from it.

He scares her.

Or does he? 

Solana has been struggling to make sense of the fear that often cripples her and the behavior he’s shown her thus far. They don’t add up. Sure, he’s expressed irritation and a level of anger towards her, but both were more than warranted. And even in those moments, there was still a level of control and composure. He didn’t scream at her. Didn’t belittle her. Didn’t hit her. 

And his words from earlier that week circle back around to the front of her mind.

Even that day at her job.

He’s made it clear now two times that he has no plans or desire to ever hit her. Initially, that didn’t mean anything to Solana, because she’s never known a man in her life to never beat on her. The second time, it made her start to wonder if he was telling the truth.

And now, in a week of genuine and okay interactions, maybe even good interactions, that wondering of the truth is gradually meshing into believing.

Especially because something tells her Roman’s not a man to lie, not unless he’s playing one of his infamous mind games. And what reason would he have to play a mind game with her of all people?

She’s nobody.

But not enough of a nobody for him to end the conversation, which she’s expected all week but yet to see happen. Even more, a part of Solana feels like he’s also wanting to keep the conversation going, matching her with the questions vs just responding and leaving it as is. 

And Solana appreciates it a lot, maybe even to the point where she’s gradually starting to appreciate him.

If she doesn’t already.

It’s why she doesn’t mind waking up earlier than she already does to fix breakfast and get ready for work to do something for him that she hopes he views as nice while he gets in his morning workout in the home gym.

Finished and almost too nervous to stay around for his response, she grabs the notebook, leaving a quick message before heading up the stairs to get in at least another hour of sleep as there’s still leftovers from yesterday’s breakfast.

Roman,

I noticed you tend to start off your breakfast with a protein shake. I saw how you make it, so I figured I’d just make it for you. Less for you to do.

Hope that was alright.

Solana

________

Roman didn’t plan to text and write Solana as often as he has. It just…..happened.

She was right in that communication does seem smoother and even easier through this channel. It’s also nice to “hear” her communicate without all that damn stuttering and stammering. Her texts and letters read so much better than actually listening to her speak aloud.

Not that her voice isn’t pleasing to some extent. It is. Soft and almost melodic, minus the fucking stutters. 

Roman is in the middle of reviewing income spreadsheets when Jimmy walks into his office and

drops a stack of paperwork on top of Roman’s desk. He then plops down in one of two chairs opposite his cousin. “Solana’s medical records.”

Roman is pleased, thankful to the Wise Man for his promptness regarding his request.

“There is something you should know though.”

Instantly, Roman is annoyed, because he recognizes that tone of Jimmy’s. The tone that lets Roman know he’s not going to like what he’s about to hear. “What?”

“Apparently, information is missing.”

“What do you mean it’s missing? Find the fucking hospital that has them. I want all of her records.” Roman’s orders were clear as day, and he fucking hates when even with comprehensible issuance, there’s still a fucking problem. 

“That’s all that’s available. Paul said the records indicate shit was deleted or something. Like cleared out of the system.” Before Roman can express his dissatisfaction and suggestions, Jimmy explains, “He said he consulted with Pearce to see if he could retrieve the files, but even he couldn’t get them. Something about systems changing over time and not being compatible. You know, all that tech shit Pearce be talking.”

Roman was right. As always. He’s annoyed.

Because he knows exactly who would have had a hand in something like this.

Xavier.

He expresses as such. “It was Xavier. Son of a bitch probably had it deleted somehow.” Roman knows Miller has hands and ties in the medical community as well as social services, though that power and leverage has definitely dwindled over the years due to Miller’s mounting financial problems. However, around the time Solana was a kid was very much the peak of Miller’s paltry empire. 

“What exactly are you looking for, man?” Jimmy asks, trying to get a read on his cousin, never an easy feat. If at all possible. “I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s obvious Solana been through some shit. You really need to know all of it?”

It’s a sound question that Roman isn’t certain he has the answer for. Knowing just what Solana has been through could be helpful in helping him understand her better, but there’s also a part of him that doesn’t know why he’s even bothering with that. Why does he even need to understand her better?

“I mean, just what happened to her mom could be the reason for a lot of her….struggles.”

“That’s part of it.” Roman’s certain of that, but he also knows there’s more. “Her father and brother were abusive.”

At that, Jimmy appears shocked. “What?” His expression quickly turns into a scowl. “That’s why you had us handle up on ole’ boy? You should have said that was why. Would have broke that bitch left hand too.”

“I’m going to kill them both before all is said and done.” And that’s a fucking promise, an oath. Their days are numbered. “But until then, I’ll keep them away from her.”

“That must piss them the fuck off.”

“Exactly.” Beyond making sure they don’t fucking touch Solana, Roman recognizes flexing his power and authority by cutting off all contact between them is something Miller and his boy must find infuriating. They’ve clearly thrived on controlling and torturing Solana, but that shit is over. 

Solana is Bloodline now.

No one fucking touches her.

“Well.” Jimmy blows out a big breath and shrugs his shoulders. “I just hope you know what you doing, Big Dog.” 

“Don’t I always.” Roman mutters, opening the manilla envelope to start going over the files. “Jimmy.”

“Yeah?”

“Have Naomi continue to do Solana’s training from the house.”

“Come on, man, my girl is already on that. She said Soso’s been getting better and better too. ” Jimmy answers, explaining, “I think she and Bey should be over there right about now anyway. Feels like they always over there these days.”

Roman wouldn’t entirely disagree. He gets regular updates from security regarding any and all happenings at his home, which includes a list of visitors, and Naomi and Bayley have been consistent on that list. 

Roman also understands now why Solana hasn’t replied to his latest text.

Not that it bothers him. A lot, at least. He has shit to do anyway. 

A couple minutes later, Jimmy leaves, and Roman is left alone to venture into the next task on his to-do list. 

As expected, Solana’s medical records consist of a lot of emergency visits for accidents. Sprains. Broken bones. Fractures. Endless bruising, hematomas even. The visits eventually die down, but Roman suspects it’s not because the abuse stopped or paused. More likely they stopped taking her and she tended to her wounds herself.

But, the largest section of her records is the most telling.

Subjective: PT is a 16 y/o mixed race female currently admitted following SI attempt. PT was reportedly found in bathroom by family maid and transported to ER by ambulance where she was formally admitted. PT does not appear fully oriented to person, place, and time. PT offered minimal responses to questions and would only speak when prompted. PT denies auditory and visual hallucinations. PT reports wanting to be with mother who is deceased. PT reports no will to live. PT indicated yes with a head nod when asked about hx of sexual trauma. PT observed to become teary eyed following this acknowledgment and would not speak on nature of trauma. PT began to cry and moved into fetal position after being asked reasons for attempt. PT was heard repeating the question, “why didn’t you let me die?” PT became unresponsive after this exchange.

Assessment: PT presents with flat affect and depressed mood. Presents with poor insight and impulse control. PT’s wrists medically wrapped. Faded scars and bruises observed on PT’s arms, legs and partially faded bruise on left eye. PT also has scars on both arms and face, reportedly from knife attack during childhood.

Objective: PT does not appear stable enough to be released from care. Fx is severely impaired. I suspect a long history of complex trauma, confirmed sexual abuse, and suspected physical abuse. Medical records from client’s initial admission indicate “numerous” pre-existing cuts on PT’s inner forearms, indicating repeated incidents of self-harm. I deem PT to be an imminent danger to herself and suspect a release would result in another SI attempt.

Plan: I strongly recommend client be transferred to an adolescent residential facility or kept inpatient at hospital where she can be monitored and placed on medication regimen as well as participate in intensive individual and group therapy to assist in mood stabilization.

If released and left untreated, it is my belief and professional opinion that PT will eventually be successful in efforts to end life. 

Diagnosis: F43.10 Posttraumatic Stress Disorder w/ Dissociation 

Roman keeps reading over this section of the file, but there’s one part that stands out the most.

PT indicated yes with a head nod when asked about hx of sexual trauma. 

That’s the part that Roman can’t seem to move past. He’s read it all. Every fucking word. And it’s all horrific. But, it’s that one sentence, that one damn sentence that confirms what he’d started to suspect, had gradually started to put the pieces together to see the much larger, darker picture.

She’d been touched. He doesn’t know to what extent, but regardless of the specific nature, at fucking sixteen years old, she’d already been violated.

A single swoop of his big arm across the desk sends all of the items once neatly situated sprawled across the cherry wood flooring. Roman stands up and slams his fist down on the table, head down as he tries to calm his suddenly shot nerves.

Livid. He’s livid.

The Bloodline is a lot of things but that has never and will be one of them. It only took one time for some fucking piece of shit to even suggest the Bloodline enter the world of Human Trafficing to increase their reach and profits even more for everyone to know that’s where the line in the sand is drawn.

Roman’s never put a fucking bullet in someone’s head so fast. 

The same urge he has currently.

An urge that’s almost instantly lessened by a small amount when his phone lights up and a name appears across his lock screen.

Solana

Eyes shutting, Roman runs his hand over his face and snatches the phone, unlocking it to view her text.

Solana: What time will you be home tonight?

Instantly, Roman feels a lessening of his anger, reading her message, almost hearing said message in her gentle voice. It’s a distraction but both a reminder of why he’s all upset. Solana’s softness doesn’t equate with the violence she’s experienced, the violation, the pain. Especially as a fucking child. Roman has never understood and has always been especially infuriated by violence against children. There’s wrong and then there’s immoral. 

That’s beyond immoral.

Roman will never deny he’s committed his fair share of sins, earning a VIP spot in hell when that time finally comes, but that is something he could and will never get behind.

Solana: Just so I know what time to have dinner ready by…..

Her follow up is typical, always explaining what she doesn’t have to. 

Roman gives her the best reply he can muster up at this moment in time.

Roman: Not sure. Don’t worry about that. Probably won’t get in until late.

And he truly doesn’t know, because going home in this state of anger won’t do her any good. He told her he’d try to be mindful of his temper around her, and this is just that. He doesn’t want to scare her. 

He needs an outlet.

But, here lies the fucking dilemma. 

Since he was a teenager, Roman’s outlet has always been sex. He’s the type to fuck away his feelings. Working out also helps, but sex always took the cake, helped out sometimes just a smidge or a shit ton more. 

And in a different kind of world, he’d do just that working out with the same woman he finds himself infatuated over. His dick stiffens in his pants thinking back on the picture Naomi sent and wisely unsent to his disrespectful ass cousins. 

But not before he could save it to his camera roll.

Roman has never and will never deny his physical attraction to Solana. She checks every box for him in that category, but she’s not an option. He can’t touch her. He can’t touch her because some fucking piece of shit did just that to her when she was essentially a child, and now she can’t stand to be touched because of it.

Roman finds himself returning to his previous level of rage. 

He needs to work this off him.

And he knows just how.

Grabbing his phone and switching from Solana’s thread to hers, he shoots out a simple text.

Roman: I’m coming over.

________

True to his word, Roman gets back late after an…..interesting visit to see Samantha. Somewhat worth it, but mostly now just another irritating thing he has to handle. Not that her being upset bothers him in the slightest.

She can fuck off and ride off into the sunset for all he cares. 

Granted, the non-asshole side of him, more a small section than a side, can understand why she was upset with him.

He just can’t find it in him to give a fuck.

What he does find, however, is something else.

Roman steps into the living room and sees none other than Solana sleeping on the sofa. Confused, he quietly moves closer in her direction and sits opposite of her on the sturdy, mahogany wood coffee table.

And he watches her, studies her sleeping expression, wondering if she had another nightmare. The possibility drags him back to his earlier disposition, the reason he didn’t allow himself to come back to the mansion at a more reasonable time.

He didn’t want to expose her to that. To that side of him.

Without much thought, he reaches for her face, fingers gently caressing the smooth skin of her cheek. She feels so soft, a stark contrast against his roughness.

In more than one area. 

He’s not sure if she felt his gesture or, like him, is just a light sleeper because her eyes slowly start fluttering open. He waits for her to become more aware and cognizant, and she does, whispering, “hey.”

He matches her low volume. “Hey.” Roman studies her, asking, “you alright?”

She nods, gradually sitting up, and he tries not to notice how instead of wearing the type of baggy shirts he’s noticed she likes to sleep in, she’s donning a thin sleeved top that accentuates her chest. “Yeah, I—” She closes her mouth, and he can tell by the way her brows furrow slightly that she’s trying to figure out how to word whatever she wants to say. “You seemed off. I just—just wanted to make sure you were okay, but I guess I fell asleep….”

It’s Roman’s turn now to not quite understand or make sense of what he’s hearing, so he asks, still in that subdued voice, “you waited up for me?”

Roman can’t recall the last time anyone cared when and even if he made it home. He doesn’t know how to feel about this. At all.

With a sheepish expression, she nods, “tried to, at least.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” And it’s the truth. He doesn’t know why she would in the first place anyway. “It was just….a long day.”

Solana nods, “I get that.” He also takes note of the fact that she’s not stammering as much, doesn’t seem as jittery as he’s used to seeing her. “I should—I guess I’ll go to bed now.”

Roman doesn’t say anything, just sits back so she can stand up without him being too in her space. He especially understands now why that’s such a big thing for her.

But, it’s when she stands that his gaze seems to travel to her inner forearms, faded scars now having an even bleaker meaning as he now has the full story.

Another sentence from her medical report whizzes back to him.

If released and left untreated, it is my belief and professional opinion that PT will eventually be successful in efforts to end life. 

He should write it. Roman knows this. Knows that she’d probably respond better and be more comfortable writing, but he also knows it makes him feel almost physically uncomfortable with having to wait to get a response.

He’s much too impatient for that shit. 

He needs to say this shit now.

“Solana.”

She’s halfway to the staircase and turns around, “yes?”

Roman’s never been one to beat around the bush, so he gets straight to the point. “You used to cut, right?”

Always perceptive, Roman sees the shock in her face at his question, the unease that brews as she nervously runs her hand along the side of her cardigan pajama pants. “I—yes, but—not since….it’s been a long time.”

He half expected to have to ask her about the last time she actually did it, though he can tell by how faded the scars are that it has been quite some time, so he believes her. Knows she’s telling the truth.

Still, he needs to make something perfectly clear.

“Any of those thoughts come back, you tell me. I don’t care if you have to paint it on the fucking wall. I want to know.” His intense expression is set right on her, needing to make sure she understands what he’s asking of her. “Understand?”

Solana looks just as confused as he feels as to why this is suddenly important to him, important that she knows she can come to him if those dark thoughts and urges occur. But still, she agrees, acknowledging in that same small voice.

“I understand….”

________

The breeder is only about a half hour out from the mansion, allowing for a drive that’s on the shorter side than what Roman was initially anticipating.

Just like he successfully anticipated Solana’s nervousness throughout that entire drive. She keeps looking out the window, most likely trying to navigate where they’re going. And if not for the unexpected but necessary business call he had to take that lasted almost the entirety of the drive, he would have tried to calm her nerves.

He’s realizing he doesn’t like seeing her so on edge.

When they arrive, Roman is the first to exit the SUV, circling around to open the door for her. She offers a nervous smile and steps out, Roman’s eyes darting to her ass, the sway of it in her yoga pants as she moves a bit away, taking in the average two story house in front of them.

She looks back at him, and he redirects his focus to her eyes, big, brown, and just as innocent as the rest of her. “Where—where are we?” 

Paul also steps out of the car, almost immediately coughing and waving at some flying insect that whizzed at him. “In the middle of nowhere.” He then sets his cautious gaze on Roman. “My Tribal Chief, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I have terrible allergies—”

“I don’t care.” Roman cuts him off, speaking to Solana, gesturing with a nod of his head. “Come with me.”

A part of him wonders if she’ll hesitate, freeze up on him, maybe even refuse. But she instead moves closer to him, walking along his side as he leads them up the steps of the porch. He reaches for the doorbell and is almost instantaneously met with the sound of barking. Interestingly enough, one glance down at Solana and he sees a spark of excitement that chips away at her nerves. 

A couple seconds later, the door opens revealing a middle aged white woman wearing an inauthentic smile. The kind of smile someone forces for a business meeting or possible transaction.

“You must be Mr. Reigns?” She correctly guesses, eyes then landing on Solana. “And you must be the Mrs?”

Roman places his hand on the small of Solana’s back, noticing how she initially tenses but, surprisingly, relaxes just a few seconds later. “My wife, Solana.”

Solana offers a small wave and polite hello but nothing more.

“I’m Beverly.” She introduces, but Roman doesn’t care. He doesn’t need to know shit about her except whatever her price is. She steps aside, motioning for them to come in. “Please.” He allows Solana to walk in first, followed by himself. When Paul doesn’t also follow suit, Roman turns around. “Wise Man.”

Paul, complexion starting to become pinkish, politely declines. “I’ll just wait here—”

“Wise Man.”

“Coming, My Tribal Chief.”

Once all three are inside, Betty or whoever, offers something to drink which all three decline, shortly after which the woman asks, “so, are we looking for—”

“It’s for her.” Roman motions to Solana who looks at him still wholly confused as a teenage girl, who looks like the spitting image of her mother, descends down the stairs. “Whatever she wants.”

Betty’s eyes light up as she directs the teenager. “Honey, can you take her outside to see the puppies?”

“Sure.” The teen’s voice is annoyingly preppy, like nails on the chalkboard, like a fucking cheerleader or something. “Follow me.”

Solana again looks at Roman, as if for guidance, but he only nods, encouraging her to follow. She’s still reluctant—he can see as such—but ultimately follows the blonde out the backdoor. 

As soon as she’s out the door. Betty starts with the irritating sales pitch, talking to him about the history of Pomeranians, the benefits of that breed, dietary guidelines and other things he couldn’t give two shits about. It’s why he doesn’t hesitate to take the business call the minute his phone rings and instead advises Paul to listen to the woman talk. 

He moves to the front of the house, securing another layer of privacy and doesn’t even hesitate to walk right past a wheezing Paul to head out back where Solana is once the call is over.

Roman finds her outside in the spacious yet somehow closed in yard. She’s sitting in the grass, legs open as a tiny dog, a puppy, moves back and forth between sitting in Solana’s lap and running in a circle before coming right back to her. Roman realizes she’s playing with the freakishly small animal, but beyond that, she’s smiling.

And laughing.

Roman can’t recall the last time, if ever, he’s seen her do the latter of the two. Even her smile is much larger, much more genuine than he’s seen her offer in the short time he’s known her..

“That one.” The woman, Bonnie, who came outside at one point with Paul, moves toward Roman. “She wants that one.”

Bonnie steps forward and frowns, slapping on that disingenuous smile he’s learned how to read all too well with years of experience working with people. “Oh no, that one’s not supposed to be out there. My daughter must have forgotten to pull her.”

Roman really does try sometimes with people, but they always end up fucking annoying him one way or another. “She wants that one.”

The woman stutters. “I–I’m sorry, but that dog is already under contract.”

Rolling his eyes, he asks, surprisingly calmly, not wanting to necessarily cause a scene in front of Solana. “How much?”

“Pardon?”

Roman does his best to hide his irritation at having to repeat himself. “How much?”

Betty releases a nervous smile, crossing her arms across her badly built body. “I—I can’t sell you a dog that’s already under contract, sir.”

Politics. It’s all politics. Roman knew the second Betty’s smile grew as her eyes landed on his Hublot watch that she saw this as a great, unexpected windfall. And she’s not entirely wrong. “Everyone has a fucking price, lady. Name yours.”

She stutters again. “Sir, I—I appreciate the interest, but that dog comes from a champion bloodline. The buyers intend to show her, so they’re paying a pretty penny.” She throws out casually, as if he can’t tell what she’s trying to do, the deal she’s trying to see if she can score. “They’re paying $10,000—”

There it is. The sin of greed that gets us all at one point or another. 

Without second thought or guess, Roman states, “I’ll give you $20,000.”

As expected, her eyes nearly bulge out of her head, the expression highlighting excessive crows feet no doubt caused by unnecessary time spent under this scorching sun. “$20,000?” He doesn’t even have to counter again. “Well, I suppose I could offer them another puppy—”

“Good.” Roman knew right away “negotiating” with this woman wouldn’t take much. She’s in it for a clean, high profit, which is fair considering one could say that for all business owners. But, if all else failed, he had…..other strategies. But those are much messier, and he’d rather just throw a stack of cash her way so they could be on their merry fucking way. “Wise Man.”

Paul steps forward, pudgy cheeks reddened and eyes watering. “Yes, my Tribal Chief?”

“Pay the woman.”

Paul swallows. “But, my—”

“Wise Man.”

Paul’s cheeks redden as he nods and motions to the house. Roman doesn’t need to say anything else. “I will handle the sale. Shall we?”

As Roman allows his counsel to handle the closing of the deal, he walks over to Solana who looks over at him with that same smile. He crouches down near her, observing, “she seems to like you.” And it’s the truth, seeing how the other puppies are content with playing with each other, this one is sticking with Solana.

She looks at Roman, petting the top of its head carefully, looking back down with that happy smile.“Thank you for taking me—”

“She’s yours.” 

Her head snaps in his direction, right as the dog climbs into her lap. “W–what?” Solana blinks, face painted in plausible confusion. “M–mine?”

Roman chuckles. “It’s certainly not for me.”

“Really?” Roman watches the hairy ass creature stand on its legs, as if demanding her attention. Attention whore ass.

“Yes, if you want her—”

“Yes,” she answers almost immediately, suddenly. And true to her nature, she’s already backtracking. “I mean—“

“You want her, so she’s yours,” he reiterates his previous statement, but there’s a tone of finality that lets Solana know he’s not open to a discussion or debate.

It’s a sure thing. 

“She’d be your dog. Not mine.” He clarifies. Solana can tell it’s also his way of telling her he’s not doing shit to help her take care of this dog, which is more than fair since Solana would bet he had no plans to purchase a dog anytime soon.

So why is he? 

She just has to ask again. “You don’t—-you really don’t care?”

It feels unreal. Too much like not an option. Not a reality. Why would he allow her a pet? Buy her a pet? 

He eyes the animal that’s seemingly already taken so well to Solana. “She’s so damn small I’ll probably forget she’s there half the time.”

There’s that laugh again, and Roman finds himself with a small smile of his own, not as big, nor as genuine, but a smile nonetheless. But just as quick as it’s there, it’s gone. Clearing his throat, he asks, “what are you gonna name her?”

Solana looks down at the puppy in her lap, nestled so comfortably against her stomach, eyes fluttering close like she’s about to fall asleep. With a soft smile and gentle caress of her coat, she answers. “Dulce.”

Roman’s thick brows arch together as he asks, “is that Spanish?”

She nods, glancing over at him just long enough to answer. “It means sweet.”

He makes a sound. That lines up. For both of them. 

The dog's eyes then land on him with as much disinterest he feels about it, quickly focusing back on Solana. “I suppose we’ll have to get supplies and shit for her.”

Roman doesn’t consider himself having a childhood, so he refers to what most call just that as his ‘formative year.’ And during those formative years, he never had a pet, so this is new to him as well, outside of just the common sense parts of owning a dog.

She’s petting the sleeping puppy “Aren’t you busy today?” 

Yes. Always. Roman’s to-do list is on subscribe and save, constantly delivering him new shit when he’s still working on the old shit. It’s just a part of the job though.

“No,” he answers. “It can wait.”

________

A couple of stops at different stores to pick up all of the shit Solana needs for Dulce along with getting the first vet appointment scheduled for the puppy takes just under three hours, which still grants Roman plenty of time to head into the office. Not until, though, he makes sure Solana is good to go, good with being left alone with the dog.

He meant it when he said it was her dog and he wouldn’t be helping out and shit, but given it’s the first day, he can see how there could be some nerves there.

But, there’s not. She’s good to go, hence his okayness with leaving for a little while to get some work done.

She doesn’t text him as much during the day, a noticeable thing that he understands is because she’s spending time with the dog. 

But, he does come home for lunch to get in a workout where he finds an entry in the notebook.

Roman,

Thank you so much. 

I promise I’ll take care of her and keep her out of your way. Paul’s too. I’ll keep her in the room with me when he’s over.

I always wanted a dog, but my dad hates them, and even if he didn’t, I was always too scared Wes would do something to it or worse….just to hurt me. He hates me, if you didn’t notice….

Solana

Roman doesn’t take much, if any time, to reply. He’d prefer to talk to her in person, but Bayley and Naomi are over, the three women in the backyard playing with the dog. So, he allows her that time, settling for a written response. 

Solana,

You’re welcome. 

Don’t worry about Paul. He won’t fucking die from allergies, and if he does, oh well.

I noticed. It’s why I’ll never leave you alone with him or your shitty father. Ever.

Why does he hate you?

Roman

Solana is partially upset when she realizes she missed Roman coming home for a workout, not that she wanted to bother him, just maybe….see him. Maybe even talk to him. Possibly tell him thank you again in person vs writing it in the notebook, but after Naomi and Bayley are gone and she’s fed Dulce her dinner, Solana sees Roman replied, leaving the notebook on her bed this time.

Most likely for privacy.

The first part of his note makes her laugh, even if she doesn’t enjoy Paul clearly suffering from his allergies. The second part, however, Solana struggles with.

She doesn’t know how honest to be with Roman, doesn’t know where she should draw that line in the sand. However, it’s not missed upon her that everything she’s shared with him, he’s been surprisingly okay with. Never having such a major reaction that it made her second guess her sharing.

And the man just bought her a fucking dog, something she’s always wanted. For no apparent reason.

Maybe….maybe she can be a bit more honest, a bit more forthcoming, even if it is a somber truth.

Roman,

I don’t want to inconvenience Paul. That’s not fair to him….

Wes blames me for our mother’s murder, says it was my fault.

And he’s not wrong.

She is dead because of me.

Solana

The minute Solana brings the notebook to Roman’s room, she regrets it. She regrets opening up, regrets being so vulnerable with him. Just because he answers her questions and bought her a puppy doesn’t mean he gives two shits about her trauma.

She’s so tempted to sneak into his room and take the journal back. It keeps her up, makes her toss and turn as Dulce sleeps peacefully in her pink dog bed beside Solana’s. 

But, it’s when Solana wakes up at 4am and notices the notebook on her nightstand, her anxiety reaches another level. Instead of avoiding it until morning, she sits up and snatches it, flipping to the page they’re on.

And her stomach achieves a new level of butterflies when she reads his response. 

Solana,

It’s not your fault.

Also, you were wrong.

I care what you have to say and think.

Roman

[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 4

symbolism

disclaimer: gosho's imagery is subtle and therefore often overlooked, so in order to highlight it, i'll be referencing the work of suzanne collins, an author who tends to spell out her metaphors more

sharks

chapter 882-884

how the case begins:

how it progresses:

this isn't gosho's first time exploring the theme of sharks in the manga:

chapter 311

both shinichi and haibara relate to sharks, they're self-admittedly drawn to blood and darkness. but why?

haibara was born into it, she didn't have a choice... and even though she's no longer a part of the black organization, she still carries the past with her.

shinichi on the other hand? he seeks it out. he directly confronts it, because he wants to defeat it. his unfaltering idealism is what pushes him to be a shark.

ran is very idealistic too, which i talk about here. so why doesn't she act like a shark?

"Finnick knows then what Haymitch and I know. About Peeta. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us." - Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire Chapter 19

the closest that gosho comes to spelling it out like this, is haibara's line about ran "i'm up against dolphin, one of the most loveable creatures in the ocean"

ran's defined by more than her virtuous nature, she's also unbelievably compassionate and sensitive. that's what makes her a dolphin.

her unmatched kindness is constantly displayed throughout the whole manga.

sometimes it irks shinichi:

chapter 787

sometimes it hurts him:

but most of the time it baffles and touches him:

chapter 258

now i'm going to say something that might be controversial: from what i've gathered, shinichi doesn't just appreciate ran's tender heart... he depends on it.

and i'm not saying that lightly, i'm aware that ran's caring nature affects a lot of dcmk characters - it's the reason why vermouth calls her an angel, why haibara refers to her as a dolphin and sees her as a sister figure, hell, it's the reason why kogoro's able to function most of the time.

but i'd still argue that nobody relies on it the way shinichi does, which brings me to the next symbol i want to analyze:

cherry blossom

flowers can represent a variety of concepts, depending on your source and in what context you use them for your writing. the same rule applies to cherry blossoms.

gosho's used it as symbol for justice in the past:

chapter 687

it's interesting to look at it through that lense, but i don't think that's what the cherry blossom represents for shinichi.

after doing some research, i came to the realization that cherry blossoms are widely believed to symbolize hope and the beginning of spring.

i think that interpretation makes a lot more sense for shinran. especially if we examine their first interaction:

chapter 924

shinichi shows ran his deduction skills to impress her... ironically he ends up impressing everyone but her. shinichi's condescension leads to a full-blown argument:

but then something completely unexpected happens... despite the fact that they don't know each other, despite the fact that shinichi insults ran, despite the fact that ran's completely put off by his arrogance, despite all of that... she offers him a cherry blossom and along with it the kindest smile he's ever seen:

and i just can't help feeling like ran's cherry blossom is symbolically very similar to suzanne's dandelion:

"I found him staring at me  from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that’s when I saw it. The first dandelion of the  year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent  in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to  survive.  To this day, I can never shake the connection between this  boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the  dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more  than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his  eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away." - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games Chapter 3

"What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that." Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Chapter 27

and clearly, only ran can give that to shinichi...

let me further elaborate by revisiting the shark analogy:

the most beautiful dolphin in the sea sees a shark like him, calls him out on his bluff and instead of avoiding him, she actually welcomes him. ran shows him genuine affection, despite having so many reasons not to. how could he not fall for her?

for someone like shinichi, a cool shark who's able to recognize other predators in the sea from such a young age, seeing the innocence and warmth of a dolphin is pivotal for him, because it reminds him that there's so much more to life than constantly familiarizing himself with other sharks (in his childhood by reading and later by investigating them)... there's good too.

to summarize... shinichi sees a delicate cherry blossom, a gentle dolphin and holds on to her for dear life. he desperately clings to the promise of hope and spring, he depends on her affection and warmth. he needs ran, because without her winter would never end, he'd never escape to coldness of the sea, he'd freeze.

which explains why

a) he's so protective of her

b) ran's smile serves as a compass for shinichi throughout the whole story - while his mind is busy chasing sharks, shinichi's soul is persistently searching for the same smile that strummed his heartstrings all these years ago. which is why he immediately notices when ran's not okay (even though she's very skilled at concealing her pain) and why he always tries to make her feel better

and that's ultimately why

a) shinichi's keeping his identity a secret

b) he's so focused on getting his old body back

without ran, shinichi wouldn't have a constant inner conflict as conan, without her, he'd lack purpose and as a result, detective conan would be empty and lifeless.

ran's not just a love interest y'all...

she's the heart of the entire manga.

visit the shinran library for more

[yuri-is-online]

Ooohhh any head cannons with malleus! Yutu and how diasomnia reacts to them?

Ah yes the banished Prince.  I was wondering when I was going to get an ask about him, and I admit I am a bit surprised it was only the one unlike a certain other prince. It's rather fitting to come back to Yutu posts with him though, there's a great deal of tragedy to be had with Malleus in this ayuu.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. SPOILERS FROM BOOK 7 ON HOW DRAGON FAE REPRODUCE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I've mentioned it before but Malleus! Yutu plays by half elf rules.  He's very young looking, he's around the same age that Yuu is, whatever you think that is, but he looks around 15 at most and shares his father's eyes and teeth.  Even in your world he had a reputation for being quite baby faced, this annoys him quite a lot, though he keeps his outrage to a brief pout if the person talking about it is Yuu.

Yuu remembers Malleus being their best friend, someone who was socially awkward due to isolation and came off as intense and scary because of it.  They go to great lengths to try and encourage Yutu to make friends, but the public opinion of them as weirdos really hinders this and is only increased as Yutu matures.  This Yutu doesn't like people very much, he grows up assuming everyone is mean and overly judgemental and that he will never be truly accepted for who he is no matter how hard he tries.

Being born in a different world does not make him any less of a Draconia, though unlike his father he is less prone to rage and more to long periods of melancholy; he is very much that sensitive goth kid with reams of bad poetry he will want to burn when he gets older and a love for rainy days. He has a deep love for classical poetry, music, and old clothes. If the area where Yuu lived had a ren faire then you can best bet Yuu took him there as a special treat more than once, he loves seeing all the medieval outfits and activities. He's explored every cemetery your town has, knows all of it's weird rumors, and any fun history stuff that might have happened in and around it, something he retains when transported to Twisted Wonderland. There are few people who know more about the history of Night Raven College than Yutu Draconia, for better or worse.

His interest in the macabre effects how he sees his parent's situation. While other Yutus might have needed time to adjust to the idea of magic and curses, Malleus! Yutu always firmly believed in it and assumed that was exactly what had happened to his parent. He went back and forth on his beliefs about his father, as a small child he thought of his father as a wonderful person who loved his parent so much that he must be searching for them surely, and that any day now he would swoop in and fly Yuu and him away to where they really belonged. When that never happened he began to wonder if maybe his father saw his relationship with Yuu as a mistake and that their memories had been altered purposefully to hide his identity. Whatever the truth, Yutu has decided that his loyalty is to Yuu, and that no matter who is trying to harm them he will hunt them down and have his revenge.

He announces as much to Crewel after he arrives in the mirror chamber, magic sparking at his finger tips as he roars it with a force he didn't know he had and immediately starts hacking at how dry his throat has become. It's very cute and not as intimidating as he might have wanted, but his point comes across well enough. Diasomnia is extremely pleased to have a Draconia back in the Housewarden's seat, though Yutu is less than pleased with this new position of authority.

The transition of being a hated outcast to the rightful King of a literal fallen kingdom is jarring. Learning of his father's controversial marriage to Yuu, of the uproar caused by their disappearance and his father's outright refusal to ever give up hope that his child and spouse would return is heartbreaking. Silver and Sebek had standing orders to go to them when not if they did, that's how badly his father wanted to believe he would be back. He was barely able to live with himself without them, but he had to. He had a kingdom relying on him, and someone else too.

We have gone back and forth in these posts about giving Yutu a sibling, but Malleus! Yutu absolutely has one. Dragon fae create eggs from magic and their partner's love, so in this scenario Malleus and Yuu decided to have two children, one that Mal would nourish and one that Yuu would. Technically, the Crown Princess is older than Yutu, but since she hatched from an egg she matures even slower than he does. She did grow faster than her father, the ability to transform into a human came much more naturally to her because of Yuu's love, but she doesn't look or sound much older than six. You are insane if you think this means she thinks of herself as the younger sibling though, her egg was older by two whole years so there! That means she is in charge! So Yutu absolutely has to stop learning boring "political smience" or whatever and play with her RIGHT NOW. She's wanted to meet him for so long TᴖT how dare her little brother deny her TᴖT look at her she's so cute how could he even think of scolding her TᴖT oh jail for brother jail for 1000 years TᴖT

Yutu might hate socializing and have a negative view of people but he absolutely adores his sister and thinks of himself as the big brother. He lets her claim to be in charge in the same way Malleus let Sebek do whatever he wanted because he finds it amusing. It is not uncommon to see the King in Exile holding court with the Crown Princess on his lap, rocking her softly as she naps. It helps solidify his control over what remains of Briar Valley, they might have been skeptical about having a half human King who cannot even transform into a dragon, but his professed dedication to his father's legacy of sacrifice and the clear adoration of his sister make his authority tough to deny.

Speaking of sacrifice, going back in time was hard for Malleus! Yutu. He felt there was absolutely no way he could bring his sister back with him because of how young she was and he was skeptical of whether or not it would even work. If it didn't he would be depriving Briar Valley of a king again, but if it did well. Then he would never need to be king in the first place, which Yutu finds reliving. While he did step up to the task, all he ever really wanted was to live with his father, Yuu, and now his sister in whatever way would have been normal for them. Sure, that normal turns out to have been quite abnormal, but that doesn't mean he still does not want it.

When the Once and Never King sees his father he has maybe more information than any of the other Yutus, even those who had met their dads. He conducted lengthy interviews with both Silver and Sebek, compiling a great pile of notes that he went through over and over again trying to come up with a strategy. All of that planning goes out the window when they actually meet, Yuu asks for permission from Tsunotarou to introduce the two of them, thinking it would be nice for both him and Yutu to have more friends and Malleus is just intrigued enough to say yes.

So this is a dragon fae. It's the only thing Yutu can bring himself to think when he sees Malleus, the other, more intense thoughts and emotions are distracted by the fireflies that accompany his father's arrival. They're beautiful, he can't remember having seen anything like them before, certainly not in his future. His father looks at him in brief surprise, and magic tingles up Yutu's spine. It's similar to the feeling he had when he first saw his sister, like recognizing like and seeking to form a connection. It hurts to shut himself off, but he smiles and focuses on his humanity as he puts forward his hand. "Hello Mr. Tsunotarou, I'm Yutu." The smile that stretches its way across Malleus's face is pure amusement, he must have really liked this ruse. What did Yuu think about that when they learned?

"My the humans of your world are certainly brave." He shakes his hand proudly, clearly pleased at the normalcy of Yutu's treatment but still painfully unaware how to be normal about it. "I am deeply pleased to make your acquaintance."

Malleus adores Yutu. There's just something about him that activates a part of him that he wasn't aware of before, and while he doesn't understand what those emotions are he recognizes his increased need to be protective of Yuu for exactly what it is. His mind thinks of Yuu as his mate, in body and soul, and that does terrify him slightly. Yuu is so tragically human, they'll die if he takes them home. They'll die if he lets them go to their home. They'll die if he never says anything at all and lets his love rot out his heart alone in his tower while they freely move through the world without ever having known of his emotions-

I haven't given much thought as to how I would want a Malleyuu confession to go down, but I could see them starting a sort of awkward courting process where Malleus takes them for long, late night walks in the forest to slow dance alone, brings them roses and handcrafted jewels he silently begs for them to wear to show just how close they are getting- but however it happens there is at least an understanding that there is something between them by the time Yutu's disguise is knocked off and he's forced to come clean.

It's a reveal Malleus does not take well. Oh not that he hates his son, he is overwhelmed with such a powerful love and joy at the mere concept of his existence he could never- no it's the fact that his future. His happy ending, that he fucking deserves after everything that his family has been through, was robbed from him and he wasn't able to do anything about it other than go to sleep? Him? The most powerful mage (fifth actually but he doesn't care about that) in existence couldn't stop that? Unacceptable.

After Yuu gets him to calm down and soothes the brewing thunderstorm they both are very focused on the well being of their child. I feel like both Yuu and Malleus would want Yutu to have a chance to just enjoy himself, for him to take off the crown he was never meant to have and just. Breathe for a moment. That's part of Malleus's motivation for introducing him as his son to the Diasomnia gang, he wants his child to have a chance to have some fun with his Uncles and Pee Paw Lilia.

Sebek bursts into tears when he learns of Waka Sama jr's existence. I think he feels a sort of kinship with Yutu, they're both half fae and they both have a deep respect for Malleus. He's very shy when he sees how much respect Yutu has for him. He's surprisingly humble when Yutu thanks him for protecting him in the future, insisting that he was just doing his job. He likes listening to Yutu play the piano, I could see Yutu trying to teach Sebek how to play an instrument, partially to spend time with him and partially just because he is curious as to how tone deaf Sebek can be.

Silver is deeply concerned about Yuu and Yutu's safety. He organizes with Sebek and Lilia to change up their patrols to include defending the new members of the royal family . He is a bit confused as to why Yutu wants to just hang out with him when all he really does is train, but he also is glad that the little prince is willing to train with him and take Silver's concerns about his safety seriously. I could see Silver apologizing for not being able to defend his parent, genuinely distressed about his situation and Yutu being a bit awkward about it. He never thought to blame Silver ever, why would he? Yutu is not unused to Silver's kindness, but it still overwhelms him. It's a pure sort of love that challenges what Yutu thinks about the world, and he doesn't know what to do with that.

Now. Mr. Pee Paw. Lilia is probably the most excited out of the entire group, look at this kid. You see him? Living physical proof that humans and fae can get along! If a Draconia did it then you can too, Grandpa Leven would be so proud! The future is concerning sure, but now that he knows about it he can plan for it. Lilia might be old, but he is still has some fight left in him, and he is very happy to use it on securing Malleus's family's future.

Yes, he does try to cook for Yutu. He wants to make him a birthday cake because he insists that they should throw him a party even if it isn't his birthday so he can have one with his Pee Paw and Dad. Yes everyone forces Yutu to distract him so they can make sure they've got something edible. He's so sad about it, how could they, jail for the little prince, jail for 1000 years.

Malleus is overly confident about his ability to change the future. Failure isn't an option as far as he is concerned, he will find the person who dared to corrupt his perfect future and he will have his due. His son will never have to live in a world without him, and he will never have to live in a world that rejected Yuu. Someone clearly needs to be reminded of just who Malleus Draconia is, and that memory will not be pretty.

Bonus

So the little crown princess. She learns that her idiot younger brother is planning to go back in time without her and she is very angry about this. How dare he, she knows he can't do anything without her so she makes sure to tag along anyway.

I toyed with the future kid reveal coming from her just marching up to Yutu and giving him orders, but I also like the idea of the Draconia family finding her lost in the woods crying because of how distressed she is that she can't find her little brother. Either way she doesn't understand the need for secrecy and wants to spend every single second she can with her parents. She causes a lot of rain when she finally gets to meet Yuu in person, she had so many dreams about meeting them and now they're real and she can hug them- she's just got too many emotions in her little body send help.

The Draconia family has pretty easy to follow naming theme, but I wasn't too certain about what names to give Yutu and his sister. I like the idea of Princess Draconia being named Mallia after Lilia but I am less certain about Yutu. In my notes Miss Princes was just called Princess Tamago because she hatched out of an egg. That's not her name but I could see that being something Yutu calls her.

[derww]

have you ever read a fanfic where authors self-insert travels into some story and fixes the life of a sad and pathetic wet cat character? | some thoughts about several new members being lifesteal watchers before joining.

one thing ive been thinking alot lately. before s5 we didn't really have a moment of "oh, this new member has been watching lifesteal before joining". and even in s5, its almost like this is not that important because here we have, to a much greater extent, people whose metagame-luggage is in the fact that they knew lifestealers. as 4c having his friendship and silly feuds with mid, and jumper being really close vi's friend, and pentar being jumper's friend, and squiddo knowing ash for ages, and wemmbu being friends with zam&minute for like an eternity. even jepexx with all his ive literally founded this server, hes an irl friends with mapicc and poafa, I literally remember one time when he came in the middle of the lore and mapicc had to bribe poafa to distract him. and it is a really cool and interesting theme as its own, a great foundation for the different headcanons and aus and using it as a part of the dynamics, but nothing of what we've been searching, yeah?

wrong. minutetech. minutetech who was clowns fan and literally created a team clown would want to be – his actual character's basis has watching lifesteal in it, and his weird attitude towards clown drags on throughout the season, ending with his death. but hey, it's been more than that, not just watching videos, he was watching streams, he was a visitor in the zams chat. and watching streams, even in fragments, is a completely different level in regard to just watching videos. and it is obvious by how he speaks about zam and how he is inspired by past him, and how he remembers some specific parts. minutetech is the fanboy on the server, im sorry, and i love him for it. he wasnt a frequent visitor, but he was able to open the curtain and be impressed, and that's cool.

moving away from the relatively linear rookie roster of the season 5, the season 6 one if a fucking rolecoaster. okay, okay, lets start with something easier. hannah defo didnt get the memo, zero idea about sb but i think he watched atleast clown, e doesnt seem to really care, his thing is the reverse, his connection to bliss and how they showed themselves as both touching and deadly family, threatening pentar with knives in case he did not protect their boy, and chief does it s5-style, being friends with minute. its really hard to consider flame, he defo watched atleast part of the things, and he is friends with pentajumper, and he refers to the past seasons but misses out a lot and doesnt seem to have a consistent understanding of a context. 

okay. manepear. his case is kinda close with minute's in a part that he actually was a big lifesteal and esp clown's fan. never saw that one fanart he drew for zam but really would like to. lifesteal was an important thing for him much before he actually joined, and i can see him having good ground knowledge of video-part of the server, albeit easily missing something really important. hes also friends with pentajumper and had his clown rivalry story on bizzare just before lifesteal, giving him an interesting starting point and explaining why he did betray his idol of the past so easily. making him vodwatch s4 eclipse would make him better in lifestealing i promise. he just needs to find a balance.

to the main course. lets speak about kab first. this is a part where shit gets actually interesting since. you know...

("Powerless", 03/29/23)

oh, hi, Derapchu.

(literally the betrayal stream 03/28/23)

wait, lets make a pause. look, its Fl4pp0!

(also the betrayal stream)

the one who made new lifesteal stickers! wow! absolutely nothing interesting about them aside from thi-

okay. let's digress from the topic for a bit – it will make sense later, I promise. you know showtime smp? its fine if you dont.

the important part you should know is that showtime aknowledges stream viewers as an important part of a plot. they are called the audience, and how interested they are in a particular character is directly responsible for their well-being. most of the characters know that they are being watched, and some even hear the voices of the audience, and sometimes they are even asked questions, the answers to which can have a real impact on what is happening. and here is mika flappo. yes, this flappo, from the chat. (fun fact, there was also atleast two other showtime members lol)

firstly he is just a really cool fanarter in the showtime fandom, and she enjoys the streams and the plot as we all do, and then it... then they are just HERE.

just imagine. you live your very fucking hard and terrible life, having to deal with all sorts of shit and somehow not lose your head, and you hide so, so fucking much from everyone, because they can't know, because it's so scary and dangerous. and then you meet someone for the first time, and the first fucking thing they say to you is "oh, its YOU". and they do know what you did.

they were a part of the audience because mika has been literally watching the streams all this time. and yeah, she doesnt know everything, only the parts gods chose to show to the viewers, and they actually watched live, but its still sooo fucking much. and now an absolute stranger is walking around the server, and they know your worst secrets and impute you for your sins. luckily, mika can't spoil things, so its not like he can actually tell anyone, but her existence by itself is still pretty fucking terrifying.

luckily, both kab and derap are not just some strangers, but also they don't have to keep their mouths shut. they know what only the audience knows, and for them it becomes an important part of their understanding of the world and zam, something that they can use to their advantage. and they do.

kab heavily relies on a feeling of understanding and knowing better, and sometimes for me it feels like shes trying to do it even speaking about zam's feelings. at some point shes been heavily relying on pitying him as a way to show that she understands, and she's sorry, and she knows what exactly zam has to change to be better. its like... being the chatter who always backseats, but now you are actually here. absolutely no neg to kab, obviously.

its actually interesting how kab simultaneously sees and knows (or thinks she knows) so many zams weak spots and problems and traumas and calls him broken and harming himself and almost as if unable to make the right decisions for himself, and at the same time she puts him on a pedestal, perceiving him as a hero, as someone who should adhere to the correct perception and reflect her idea of a good person and teammate. and... it makes sense as a way of wanting to help your favorite anime character to become better without actually understanding either them or their beliefs and wishes and just trying to recreate the picture from my head of how things have to be, depriving a character of personality and autonomy in the process. even her expecting him to help her with the karmas law – she thinks that this idea is objectively right, so obviously white knight (lol) princezam has to get it.

people really liked her asking if she reminds him of someone he once was. i really do not. because sure, shes right at the ground lvl, but she doesnt get it. shes not s5, shes s4. she is vi and zam at the same time, and it makes my head hurt. "not everything is about you, zam", but she does make everything about him, really. i wonder if he was her favorite character.

i like that sometimes she acknowledges that she doesnt actually know better than anyone else. that she is just scared because her methods doesnt work anymore. but she speaks the opposite so often that sometimes i just dont know what she really thinks. with her strange division into lore and non-lore, with how much kab lies to people and lies to herself, she remains frustrating. sometimes I have a feeling that she plays a completely different character than the one she ends up being, and hey, that's part of the server.

some of it can be said about derapchu, and its easy to say that hes better than kab, but i dont really think so. hes less pushy about it, surely, but he also thinks he knows how itd be better for zam and intends to make him change in a way he deems correct. sure, he doesnt idolize or pity him, but he still wants to fix zam.

its not that easy as just dividing things on yours and servers because zam has a connection to it, and the server's well-being is directly connected to his. with enough mental gymnastics, even the desire to repair the spawn can be called at least partially selfish since zam does it for himself too, since he loves things being pretty and cool. speaking of the server as a whole, it is difficult to draw a line between where he does something for himself and where he does something only for others with just how conditional the common good is and how important the server itself is to him, just alive, just working, just being played. he wanted to make everyone give a shit and never fully left this modus.

and in a sense, derapchu fails. as gapples being for the fights against mane, or considering that zam perceives the hearts in a similar way as he does (and he really isnt, our guy was giving out the hearts left and right, really, and he knows derap enough to be sure he wouldnt do anything malicious), or seemingly never noticing that zam, despite being mostly truthful during the whole dialogue, never actually opened up to him. maybe his common experience and zam trusting him makes him feel like it is enough, but its barely a half. he said sorry for being too pushy today tho. and helped zam just because. it was good. sadly its not enough to understand that he cant just choose whats better for the other person.

you know, i really like to think about having all this background of being a lifesteal watcher from the point of the full-blown lore, without pulling out the card that the characters are also streamers or youtubers. this is a part that requires an individual approach: for example, i have drafts where boomie and kab, as centrals, contact their lifesteal friends directly through hacked communicators. or, for example, clown is known because the coolness of his conquests spread into legends, caught everyone's eye, and became worldwide news. in general, you can just come up with a connection between the worlds, like fidonet, or even a more modern Internet, and this will make everything much better. or you can follow the showtime trail and give each character an audience – similar to just making them streamers, but that's the twist that makes just enough of a difference. and, in the end, people can just be friends, meet in their free time, and tell stories. both derapchu and kab were zams friends long before joining the server, and this is something that should not be forgotten either. they, unlike the rest of us, have a real context. and, like, wow.

overall: these aussies gotta understand that zam is not their pet project and that he doesnt need to be fixed. some help here and there wouldnt be bad, sure, but they cant just choose whats right for him and whats not. he is, in this context, his own person and not just a book character and he needs a friend, but not saviour nor doctor nor manipulator nor mechanic. just a friend.

[agent371]

This post is talking about the designs (and the designs only, I haven't read anything from the authors and dont even know who they are so this is design based only) released for the new Damian Wayne comic - The Boy Wonder. I will be heavily critical and btching about these, but please tell me your thoughts as well. After Damian, the others are under the cut. Please read because it's important.

Damian's design is actually really good and the best one, which is probably good since this is a comic about him. And I love how he's not whitewashed, which is something that happens way too much in comics.

Now, to Nightwing, his design is okay for a Nightwing design, but he just looks off in this style. I think if they tried to stylise him more, it could look a lot cooler. So I think he's just got wasted potential. Also, he's probably whitewashed as well to make damian more special as the "only" POC in the family (probly why Cass, Duke, Luke, and Luicus aren't here as well).

Babs is next, and this is the main reason I made this post. They abled her. DC authors stop abling disabled characters, please, for the love of me, I can't stand it. She can be disabled and still be relevant in the plot. I swear the only reason authors do this is because they don't know how to write disabled characters. If they need a Batgirl, use Steph or Cass because they are more than capable of doing it. I know they aren't as iconic as Babs, but move on DC. She's so much more interesting as Oracle.

Batman, I'm not a fan of his big blocky design. I just don't like it. He also looks really irrelevant and giving this is a comic about Robin (his son!) I think he should be relevant or look like he isn't a background character who just grunts, like for the design it looks like he doesn't talk. Don't like it.

Jason now, I actually love his Red Hood costume it looks sick, and the R on the chest *chefs kiss*. But his robin outfit is too gritty, and from that, I can tell he's going to be mischaracterised as the "angry Robin," so Hood looks cool, but that's all it is, his looks.

Tim. There is so much to say, omg. Where is his hero outfit! Everyone else got them. Why didn't he? You can actually see RR in the preview, so why wasn't that design put here? Why is it just Tim? And why does kid Tim look homless you know he grew up rich, before and after his adoption sure he has a style but his cloths wouldn't be friad he'd still look sleek and scruff not on the verge of his cloths falling off his back. For this, I can tell he'll also be mischaracterised as just like Jason since this is a Damian comic they are doing to do him so dirty. :( Sad day for a 90's Tim Drake fan (like every day, tbh save my guy). His RR design also has a shitty mask, but other than that, it seems fine, I like the wings/cape for it that looks pretty cool.

Alfred is a stereotypical old man. He's got no individuality what so ever and will proble be in one panel, say something sarcastic, and never show up again.

Ra's is okay. That's all.

Talia doesn't even look like herself . If you showed me her design with no context, I would not know who she is.

Carrie. Why is she here? Like honestly, why? There are better characters to include in a comic like this, like Steph or Cass or Duke or Helana. They would all be better chooses than Carrie. I'm not the biggest Damian fan, but ofter, Damian fans have been wanting him and Huntress as in a comic for a bit. I do like her design, but I just don't get why she's here. (I'm not including her image because of the limit bit is on my previous repost)

[pisces-swirlix]

Payneland Fic Recs

There are some fics that I feel like don’t get talked about enough (or at all), so this is my attempt to give them more recognition! Even though nobody asked lol. Also, I don’t know the tumblr handles for like any of these authors, only their AO3 usernames, so sorry :(

love, in context B24-16 by experimentaldragonfire

Rating: General

Words: 19k

Status: Complete

“Archaeology student Edwin Payne didn't expect the chatty tourist at the excavation fence to become someone he couldn't imagine life without.”

Not gonna lie, I probably overlooked this one a few times, but I’m SO glad I finally read it. It was cute and emotional and damn, this pulled at my heartstrings SO hard. Seriously, there’s a beach date and a museum date and more than one scene where being soaked by the rain is involved. I binged the whole thing in one sitting.

The Manuscript of Real People by paraph

Rating: Mature

Words: 42k 64k

Status: In Progress

“Britain, 1976. Three years into boarding at Saint Hilarion's School, Edwin Paine is assigned Charles Rowland as a roommate.”

This one is pretty heavy. It’s not necessarily sad, but there’s a lot of violence and bullying and homophobia. However the plot really does pull you in, and it’s a really good slowburn. but like, slow slow.

The Case of the Couples Retreat by juliasfanart

Rating: Teen

Words: 17k 23k

Status: In Progress Complete!

“It should have been just another case for the Dead Boy Detective Agency - a pair of missing ghosts to find - if not for the fact that they had to investigate a luxury resort dedicated to couples counselling... for ghosts. And what better way for Edwin and Charles to infiltrate it than to pretend to be just another couple needing to revive their relationship?”

This one is like the opposite of the last one. No dark themes that I can think of, it’s fun and cute while also shining a pretty strong light on the emotions of the characters. This fic has me blushing and swinging my feet.

the notetaker’s ode by imnotcryingipromise

Rating: General

Works: 3k

Status: Complete

“In which Charles realises that Edwin’s notebook contains more than just information about escaping Hell.”

Fluff lovers, this one is for you. Edwin has some very cute things in his journal. Simple and sweet :)

More Night Stand by in_flux

Rating: Explicit

Words: 8k

Status: Complete

“The last person Charles would have expected to meet at a club is Edwin Payne. And they're both happy enough to leave together - with a little help from Niko.”

University AU (kind of). It’s got some pretty hot smut in here, but it also is very cute to see them both have these embarrassingly obvious crushes that the other isn’t picking up on while they both try to seem cool and casual. It’s technically done, but I’m holding on hope that the author will release more someday because this AU is awesome.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

2 questions about the top gun AU thing cause I wanna eat it

Do you think there’s anything specific that would bring Steve and Maverick closer or do you think it kind of just happens? Or does it not happen at all

Does Steve ever tell Maverick about his dad? If he does how does that get received?

Good questions man, thanks so much for asking!!

1- I think it happens slowly over time- there’s a lot that causes it to happen though. Little things that pile up, on both ends. Like Maverick noticing little things that remind him of himself as a 17 year old, Soda talking to Mav and reporting to Steve that Mav’s actually pretty cool, Goose hanging back with Steve during aviator nights out and telling him a bit about Mav’s backstory-

“His dad disappeared when he was a kid, and his momma- your ma- ran out on him real soon after- he never had a real good parent…But he’s trying his best. He’s not used to being an authority- hell, he’s pretty used to rebelling against it. He’s figuring it out, and he’s gonna mess up…but he’s trying his best, just so you know.” (I’d word it better if this were like. Serious writing but this is more like an outline I guess lol)

And then Steve just sorta processes that. He knew Mav had more to him than he showed Steve, but now that Steve actually has context for why Mav is the way he is, Steve can’t quite make himself hate the guy anymore. He doesn’t like him either because of this, but he starts to maybe see Mav as a person rather than just a roadblock in the way of his goal of getting back to Tulsa.

Also, I think weirdly a fight between Mav and Steve should be the final catalyst for them getting along better. Like Steve goes out and does something stupid and dangerous, like a drag race or getting drunk or something, and Mav comes to bail him out- but Mav also gets mad at him. Very mad at him.

So Steve gets angry too, and says something along the lines of “You’re not my dad or even my real brother, so quit acting like you are!”

And then Mav remembers having said some very similar words to Goose back when they first became friends, and suddenly sees Steve’s perspective better than he has since meeting him. And he says as much- something like “Oh…that’s…Jesus, kid, I said the same thing when I was just about your age…”

From there, Mav can actually see how Steve is a lot like himself, and Steve can too. They still butt heads over things, but with more of a mutual understanding and more actual care for each other.

Plus they’re both into a lotta the same things so once Steve stops being stubborn they bond over that (yk, being adrenaline junkies, liking cars/planes/motorcycles, even having similar insecurities )

2- Steve probably does? Maybe?

When they first meet and Steve’s being rebellious and annoying, I could see him mentioning being kicked out of the house a lot as like. A brag. Like “look I’m real tough, I grew up on the streets”

But later on, once they’re closer, I could kinda see him delving more into his real feelings about it? Idk, Steve seems pretty emotionally…aware, I guess, so I think he knows to an extent that some (not much mind you but some) of his bravado is a front. And under the right circumstances I could see him talking about it with people-I mean in the book, even Ponyboy, a kid Steve doesn't really like, knows about Steve's feelings towards his dad.

Idk if he'd talk about it with Mav though unless Mav told him something vulnerable first. And I don't think Mav would tell him many real vulnerable things, at least not unprompted.

I dunno, speaking from my own perspective as a guy, the only times I really talk about vulnerable subjects are with my best (and I mean BEST) buddy…or girls/women, like my sister, grandmother, and ma. Not much to other guys, especially not to other guys who I compete with the way Steve does with Mav. It can kinda feel like acknowledging you have vulnerable feelings makes you weak. I mean it doesn't obviously, but that's kinda how it feels, I guess? So I honestly dunno if Steve would ever tell Mav about his dad.

That said, I think Steve would tell Goose and/or Carole about his dad lol

[arent-i-the-fairest]

I can't live like this any longer. PLEASE I NEED YOU TO WRITE NEIGE CONTENT OF ANYTHING PLEASEEEEE

𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 (𝟐)

he takes care of you while you’re sick. (romantic)

author’s note : in addition to neige, i wrote hcs for che’nya and rollo! i love these three so much <333

crowley, crewel, and sam ver. of this prompt here!

neige leblanche

“you really called off a photoshoot just to come take care of me? you know you didn’t have to,” you said, smiling softly. neige shook his head.

“oh, i know, i know. but i just couldn’t help myself. the thought of you being all alone while sick just makes me so sad!” he pouts, taking your hands in his. “so i had to come! now, come on and lay down. take it easy and just leave everything to me! i’ll take good care of you.”

he babies you so hard, it’s to the point you almost feel embarrassed. like, he spoons feed you and everything. but he seems no shame in it!

he also decides to take it upon himself to do all ramshackle’s housekeeping and chores for you. (househusband material, honestly.)

no matter how many times you warn him that your sickness is contagious, he can’t resist giving you little kisses throughout the day. so it was no surprise when he called saying he was sick the next day…

“don’t say you didn’t expect this to happen, neige.”

neige only let out a whine and hid his face in the fluffy pile of blankets you brought him. as much as you wanted to scold him for not listening to your warnings, seeing him in such a pitiful state made it impossible.

you’ll save the lecture for later. for now, you’ll be gentle with him, just like he was with you while you were sick.

che’nya

“oh my, you’re not looking too well!” che’nya chuckles, quirking his head to the side as he looks at you. “well, don’t worry. nurse artemiy artemiyevich pinker is here to help you recover!”

you didn’t have the highest expectations when it came to his caregiving skills, but he actually does really well at taking care of you. he’s very attentive when it comes to your needs. be warned though, he will ask you if you’re feeling better like every 20 minutes just to annoy you.

he’ll exaggerate his cat behaviors to entertain you— and maybe to get you to coo over him being cute. he’ll knead blankets (or perhaps your lap if he wants to rest there instead), bump his head against you, and the like. if you had a cat toy, he’d probably play with it. all without feeling the slightest bit of embarrassment too.

“i’ve gotta ask… did you really come here to take care of me, or was this just an elaborate plan to get me to pet you?” you joked as you scratched behind che’nya’s ears.

“oh no, you’ve caught on! i just came for some pets,” he teased back, purring and leaning into your touch. “— just kidding, of course. hehe.”

you chuckle and lay your head against his chest, listening to the calming sound of his purring as you drift off to sleep.

rollo flamme

you got sick from getting hit by several spells. the perpetrators were none other than ace and deuce, whose fight you accidentally got caught in the crossfire of. (they’ve apologized to you over ten times for this..)

with all the chaos that’s been thrown your way so far, you hardly cared. this is just another tuesday at nrc for you. but you know who did care? rollo.

needless to say, he was not happy to hear of this situation. it’s only served to support his resolve of wanting to eradicate magic.

he tries to hide his anger about the context of how you got sick… and he doesn’t do a good job at it. you’ll look at him once in a while and his face will be twisted up in a scowl. or sometimes you’ll hear him muttering under his breath about “vile reckless mages…” and the like.

knowing how no-nonsense he is, you were a bit nervous about being in his care. but he ended up being a lot more gentle with you than you expected! (… he still made you study though. no falling behind in school on his watch.)

just like neige, he took it upon himself to do all the housekeeping for you. and you swear, you’ve never seen ramshackle so spotless. rollo does not play when it comes to cleanliness.

you watch in amusement as ace and deuce desperately try to convince rollo to let them enter your dorm. rollo is not even slightly swayed by their pleas, standing his ground on not letting them step foot in ramshackle.

“you two are the reason the prefect is ill in the first place. you’ve proven yourselves to be dangerous. i will not take the risk of letting you miscreants in and causing any more trouble for them.” rollo glares down at the pair, getting ready to shut the door on them. you quietly laugh at how protective he’s being.

you walk over to rollo, gently pulling him away from the door to let ace and deuce in. “come on, rollo. let them in. i’m sure they’ll be on their best behavior, especially with you here watching them like a hawk.”

rollo sighs and finally relaxes. “hmph… fine.”

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam. A potentially stupid question. Image descriptions for screen readers. Do they work the same way for audio and video? As in are they needed or helpful? I'm finding conflicting answers when I search for this.

Not at all a stupid question! I think sometimes it can vary by community, to be honest.

Screen-reader users, visually impaired folk, and others for whom IDs are particularly relevant, feel free to chime in; I'm going to ramble and you likely have more useful stuff to say. Remember to do it in reblogs or notes, as I don't post asks sent in response to other asks.

I'm not visually impaired, and I don't use a screen reader and thus am not really able to speak with firsthand authority. In the past, when I've asked, I've heard that in-post text is better than alt-text for images; even if that stops being the case, I prefer to use in-post text because there are people who aren't screen-reader users who also like the IDs. I do too, actually. And generally I've heard that video as well as image should be described. I don't do straight audio generally, but when I do, if it's a song I don't bother because the title is there and lyrics are googleable, if it's speech I like to see/give a transcript.

I like when videos have descriptions especially, because I am almost never in a position to play a video I see on my dash. If the video doesn't autoplay I don't want to hit play because then it will load with audio and I'm usually either a) somewhere I can't have audio or b) already listening to something and unwilling to turn it off. If the video autoplays it's muted, but if it's audio-heavy there's the same issue. So if someone posts a video without a description/transcript, unless it has captions, I can't engage.

There are a lot of guides out there for how to write IDs and I kind of think, based on conversations I've had, most of them are bullshit by people who don't use screen readers. In my experience, which is not universal but is relatively comprehensive, people who can't see an image often do not want a precise objective description as we're instructed to provide.

There's a great essay that touches on this, Against Access, where the writer, who is Deafblind, talks about how he doesn't want a diagram, he wants an emotional evocation.

Why are you telling me, telling me, telling me things? Your job isn’t to deliver this whole room to me on a silver platter. I don’t want the silver platter. I want to attack this room. I want to own it, just like how the sighted people here own it. Or, if the room isn’t worth owning, then I want to grab whatever I find worth stealing.

I've had people get shitty with me about putting "feelings" into my IDs, but the majority of people for whom those IDs are necessary have told me they like it because, for example, saying "She looks like she's about to commit violence" is a subjective opinion but conveys something that "A woman is standing with arms upraised and a frown on her face" does not. And if you're describing an image but there's not a ton of meaning to it, describing it in clinical detail is wasting time. A paragraph describing a fortysomething white guy and all the clothing he's wearing and the room he's in is not as helpful, on occasion, as simply saying "This is a photograph of me in my bedroom." It depends on context, which is your call to make, and the only way to get good at that is to do it.

But again: this is my experience with my readers, and even John Lee Clark, quoted above, doesn't speak for his whole community. So I would suggest that the best way to get an answer for this is just to ask your readers what they'd prefer. If you have friends who use screenreaders, ask them. If you don't, or if you don't get a response from your readers, I would do what you feel is best until someone tells you otherwise, and then be gracious and discuss it with them so you can better understand their needs. In my experience, when someone is genuinely trying to make a more welcoming space for disabilities -- as opposed to making virtue-signal attempts to Be The Perfect Ally -- they get a lot of slack when they don't get it exactly right. It is better to make a welcoming space for people to feel safe telling you that you fucked up than it is to pretend you're never going to fuck up.

So yeah, as someone who is more or less fully sighted, that's my two cents, but if you really want to know what your readers want, you know...I'd ask them. :) Good luck, either way.

[werecreature-addicted]

Would the sparkling vampires have been reacted to differently if written by a better author? Possibly

I feel like the main reason (imo) for why the sparkling is hated on so much though is that the reveal of it just feels so ridiculous. Like edward claiming he’s a monster or whatever and then proceeds to reveal his shimmery 6 pack is….unconvincing at best

og tags on this post for anyone who hasn't seen it

Excellent question anon. If you think about it there are a lot of silly things we associate with vampires.

Exhibit A: the classic widow's peak black hair and dramatic cape

look at it with fresh eyes and imagine seeing this for the first time, goofy. silly even. but this style of vampire was iconized by Bella Ligosi's performance as Dracula in Dracula 1931 which is of course very good and a staple in vampire cannon as well as just culture in general. It's good and it's old which lends it an air of authority. whereas Twilight is new(ish) and bad so it's artistic changes and creative choices are fighting an uphill battle already, add in the fact that Vampires Sparkling is a little ridiculous and you can see why so many people dismiss Twilight's vampires outright.

This post is so long continued under the cut

Now I am a Twilight fan and I think Twilight is very bad in a lot of ways, the two ideas are not mutually exclusive. Twilight however is a fascinating case study in cultural knowledge and mythos. Stephanie Meyer informally did very little research about Vampire Cannon, if you can call it that, before writing Twilight (link to an interview where she mentions it) so instead of being carefully constructed world-building based on hard rules and strict internal logic, the vampires are kind of loosely defined shadows based on the broadest understanding of what a vampire is. They're dead, they drink blood, they don't go out in sunlight. Some other popular vampire staples go addressed but dismissed as myth (garlic and having no reflection) but then things like The vampires in Twilight don't have fangs and have weird additional supper powers sometimes go just completely taken for granted and not really expanded upon in a satisfying way.

This style of world-building and magic system has a tendency to chafe against readers who have a more in-depth context for vampires and Meyre's more simplistic writing style makes the text come off as juvenile and perhaps a little dumb.

All this to say the sparkling vampires are not handled super well. It is a very large jump from what most readers would expect to see from a vampire story and it is handled inconsistently at best in the text itself. Meyer describes the vampires in the sun both as A beautiful glittering like that of a diamond, and a reflection of light so intense that it looks like the vampire is being burned alive in the sun.

these two conflicting descriptions coupled with the again simplistic and juvenile writing style makes it seem more like a mistake you should roll your eyes at rather than an intentional complexity to read into. I'd argue that Bella sees this inhumanity as beautiful and alluring while Edward sees it as a curse and a reminder of his monstrous nature and therefore disgusting. That being said I don't fault anyone for not wanting to read that deeply into the vampire glittering and instead see it as the author trying to have her cake and eat it too, something Meyers does frequently throughout even just the first Twilight novel.

Not even to mention the movies.

Exhibit B: this is the skin of a killer Bella.

This is prima facie hilarious and stupid. the juxtaposition of the soft glittering effect and the chiming sound in this scene coupled with the seemingly unwarranted disgust is so fucking funny. which is not the tone this scene is going for. it's supposed to be tense, it comes off as corny instead.

Then there is the hate mob that dominated Twilight discourse when it first came out. I will not get into how much of that hate was warranted, what I'm interested in is how much of a cultural impact it had. There was, at least in the beginning, a large group of people who hated Twilight and would hate anything that came from it simply because it came from Twilight. These people grabbed onto the sparkly vampire thing and made it what it is today, these people were never going to be won over by any artistic liberty no matter what.

So to answer your question, I think that if a writer with a more in-depth understanding of vampires and a clearer vision of the magic system wrote Twilight with a more mature tone and more time given to expanding on just the vampire's powers and limitations, and the movies followed these hypothetical books more closely AND if there was never an anti-Twilight coultral movement. then yeah maybe Vampires sparkling wouldn't be seen as the dumbest shit ever.

thank you for coming to my Twilight Ted talk.

[sepublic]

Christianity for Dana Terrace and TOH

I have to wonder about and consider The Owl House as an expression of Dana Terrace's own nuanced relationship with Christianity. We know she was raised in a Catholic school, and we've heard of the out-of-context incident where she got put into a headlock by a nun as a child (idk if context even matters in this scenario);

Plus, there's the show's obvious critiques of Christianity, via Belos' fanaticism and demonization of witches, plus his superiority complex and belief in predestination. And then we have Tarak bonding with King as a potential father figure, even being mistaken for his dad, only to sacrifice him anyway for the Grand Huntsman despite whatever hesitations he has; This story beat echoes the tale of Abraham and Isaac. The Emperor’s Coven/Cult is clearly Catholic.

But at the same time, we have Steve's reminiscing over the Titan as perhaps just some dude who doesn't know what he wants, either; And he's saying this as a former member of the Emperor's Coven, which itself applied a very Christian understanding of the Titan via Belos. We have Luz meeting the Titan in-person, and seeing that he's not some deity but just a person who meant well and tried his best.

The show emphasizes people being able to improve and get better and needing that chance, plus what I've said about Luz possibly being meant to represent a more positive, accurate portrayal of Jesus Christ; She dies and is resurrected with the power of the Titan, who isn't quite God but maybe she is in a meta sense? It's complicated.

So to psychoanalyze a real life person through their art (which I guess is what single author classes does to a mf), I have to consider that it's not as simple as Dana condemning Christianity as a whole; More than likely, a specific brand of Christianity, namely Evangelicalism, Catholicism, etc. We have to remember that what we often criticize as Christianity is more so a specific denomination, or group of; Christianity is a widespread religion comprised of countless different takes and interpretations of the Bible.

And IIRC (a source would be helpful), I think Dana even clarified that her experience with Catholic school wasn't wholly negative either? She did not consider herself abused, or at least abused abused. Her feelings might be mixed, especially because one doesn’t need to personally experience the worst to know about it; That is another way in which one might become critical.

I don't think Dana is outright resentful of Christianity as a whole, she might just have complicated feelings, criticisms, and thoughts; Tbf, this is how many denominations came to being. So when I see Steve reflecting on the Titan, and Luz getting to meet him... I think these scenes are, in a way, Dana making peace with the idea of God in her life; Getting to consider her relationship with and belief (or lack thereof) in him, and his paternal status to the world as a whole.

She's also recognizing his fallibility, God is a person and like any person his insight and support is illuminating, but not all-encompassing; It's not doctrine, it's just advice, from one person to another. So when the Titan reassures Luz, or Dana, he's not saying she's the specialest chosen one in the world; He's just someone with a lot of experience who can provide some guidance and clarification on life, not unlike Eda.

The Titan saying goodbye to Luz feels like Dana being able to part on -ultimately- good terms after resolving that major anxiety in her life, on a final note that is no longer resentful and more a fond memory overall. It’s her moving to the next stage of her life, as Luz herself does, now able to carry and believe in herself, and not need that same guidance to figure out what to do.

It’s a coming of age moment appreciating what was given by a paternal figure, with Dana now comfortable exploring other beliefs and practices after making her farewell with Christianity by realizing it isn’t absolute, yet still treasuring what it was able to give her. So she carries on what she can, at least in spirit, like… Luz and the glyphs, remembering them, and now having her own palisman to continue her love of magic that the Titan helped support. So we have both the narrative meaning to Luz behind all of this, and the real-life significance for Dana herself, which aren’t quite the same but there is overlap. And there’s also the other meaning for Dana in how the Titan represents her father, which we’ve already discussed.

So The Owl House and the storyline of the Titan could be Dana's own nuanced takeaway from Christianity; Her exploring how she feels about it, what she appreciates, what she doesn't, how it fits into the rest of her worldview. And I don’t think Dana is trying to convert anyone, nor condemn those who feel irreverent. I think she’s more about deconstructing Christianity to reconstruct it.

Be Gay, Do Witchcraft of course, I think there is a catharsis in exploring that. And also, because the sentiment behind that phrase might be less about Christianity being inherently evil, and more so that many queers don’t care what evangelicals think of them anymore; So sure, we’ll humor your fears for fun, we ARE the demons we’re accused of being. It’s like Eda saying “Well we ain’t!” in response to Belos’ claim that humans are inherently better. Plus demonized belief systems that aren’t Christianity deserve validity as well, hence the pagan influences being portrayed positively, with the narrative questioning the dismissal of certain ideas being ‘demonic’ or ‘savage’.

And of course, co-existence IS possible. And I find this important because it can be easy to just dismiss religion entirely in an edgy internet atheist type of way, but in the end one must reconcile that religion means a lot for a lot of people, many whom ARE chill and willing to co-exist; The narrative presents the spirituality of the Boiling Isles as something precious, for example. All belief systems are valid, not just these select few.

And maybe they don’t have to be mutually exclusive with queerness or “alternative” lifestyles, because a lot of people from these demographics aren’t quite comfortable with just getting rid of religion entirely, and they’re entitled to still maintaining that connection. If feminists can still have a nuanced relationship with femininity, so can believers with their religion.

People are simply asking to be allowed to exist and practice their beliefs in peace, they aren’t really calling for the eradication of the other. Just as queers don’t actually intend to abolish heterosexuality, they just want to be left alone. Let people decide how they feel about certain things, instead of making them get rid of it for their own good; That is every individual’s personal choice, just as yours is. And that feels relevant, given how much Choice is a theme in this show, and especially in the finale in which Luz meets the Titan properly, with the Titan emphasizing this agency to her.

[kenphobia]

HEART STUTTER!

"you're the absolute most."

summary. wally headcanons with a gender-neutral who isn't good at talking, uses vague wording and confuses smiliar sounding words with each other. ( headcanons / rewritten / see end notes)

contents. fluff i think. possibly ooc too. barnaby teasing the heck out of wally. take the L, wallace, take it.

✦ Wally finds it oddly charming, for some inexplicable reason. He tries his best to understand you and somehow he knows what you're trying to say better than you could. He does let you explain for yourself, but once you turn to him with those pitiful eyes of yours, he couldn't help but finish your words for you.

✦ In some way, Wally understands how you feel. He is a charming little puppet but even so, he slurs his speech a lot which at times make him sound drunk and inaudible.

✦ Whenever you misuse and confuse words, Wally will use context clues to figure out what you're saying. To him, it's like a little puzzle game and he enjoys it very much. He does wonder how you can say typos out loud, concerning but he eats with his eyes so he can't complain.

✦ He'll always reassure you that your speech is fine and that you can take your time figuring what to say. You look better smiling than with your brows creased like that, so cheer up!

✦ Out of all of the neighbors, he understands you the most. You could refer to food as "Biting things" and he'll fetch some for you instantly, he makes a few mistakes at times and he apologizes deeply. Wally doesn't like making assumptions, especially if those assumptions makes you upset at yourself.

✦ Wally could pick up your vague wording the more he spends time with you. He wouldn't notice it until Barnaby mention it.

"And so, (Name) and I went to fetch the things from Poppy's place before coming to meet you all here." Wally vaguely gestured to the food laid on the picnic blanket underneath them, his eyes drifting you chatting and helping Julie fly her kite.

The larger puppet nodded his head, smiling almost teasingly. Wally quirked a brow at Barnaby's sudden weird attitude.

"Is there a problem, Barnaby?" Wally questioned.

"Oh no, it's nothing." Barnaby shrugged, taking his tobacco pipe from his mouth and into his large paw. He glanced over to you and Julie before turning back to Wally. "So, you and (Name), huh?"

"... Yes, we are an item, Barnaby. Is there something wrong?"

"Nope! It's just that you're so in love with them that you're already copying them." Barnaby chuckled. He took a breath in and blew out from his pipe.

"I'm—" Wally paused, his brows furrowed. "I don't think I follow what you mean, Barnaby. I do love them, in fact I am madly captivated by them, but I don't think I'd be so inclined to do the same things as they do."

"Oh yeah?" Wally raised a jesting brow. "Then, tell me what you were doing before the picnic." He gestured to the picnic set before the two of them.

"Well, that's easy!" Wally clapped his hands joyfully. "I woke up, finished some evenings, no, paintings! Yes, those things. Then, um, I met up with you all to talk about things and after cat— that! I went with (Name) to get the stuff from Poppy's and— Oh good lord."

Barnaby letted out a roaring of laughter and patted Wally's back. "You see what I mean now?"

Wally nodded silently, dumbfounded by how oblivious he was towards his speech. He was usually self-aware, watchful and cautious about the way he acts yet he managed you fumble over his words. Right in front of his best friend too.

"I guess they got your tongue tied?"

"Barnaby, kindly shut up for once."

author's note. i amr ushing, I am RUSHING!!!! this was requested by @ssvv-cc but i accidentally answered their ask with the wrong contents and i deleted it so um terribly sorry :')) i might upload the last one but for now, let me cry in shame

again, my requests are always open. do note that im not a welcome home writer but i do writer many other things <33 /nm

[projectjasper]

ME AND THEE: NOVEL VS MOCK TRAILER

[BASIC SUMMARY & CHARACTERS] - [FULL SUMMARY & OTHER SPOILERS]

ARCHER'S NOTE: Overall, it seems like there have already been a lot of changes made to the mock trailer alone, and there are even more usually made to the actual series. In some ways, this immediately makes sense to me. After finishing the 400-something pages novel, I thought that its plot would fit better into a 2-hour movie rather than a full series, so certain things would need to be expanded upon for certain (and, frankly, they need to be expanded upon, as the speed with which some characters are introduced for a few scenes only to be promptly yanked out of the novel forever is slightly jarring). That said, expanding on the existing themes and providing necessary context is not the only thing the writers did for the mock trailer, taking only inspiration from some parts of the novel or even stepping away from it entirely for some of the decisions they have made. This series is indeed a mystery to me, a person who has read the novel, almost as much as it is to someone who has not, or perhaps even more so, since someone who has not read the novel has no expectations for things to go a certain way.

When the writers for the series are announced and if I know them (and there is a good 90% chance I know them very well), I will likely make a separate post, speculating where they might take their ideas based on their previous writing and the mock trailer.

SPOILER WARNING! Although the trailer itself obviously couldn't reveal any major plot points, there are still some spoilers for the novel in my comparisons, so proceed with caution.

THE MAIN GIMMICK IS NOT IN THE NOVEL

Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but what is possibly the most charming part of the mock trailer - Thee watching soap operas and reciting the dialogue by heart - is simply not a thing in the novel. To be fair! The seeds of it are kind of there.

Thee's mom did indeed raise him on soap operas - in fact, her own soap operas, as she used to be an actress before marrying her husband - and has all the DVDs of her works, which Thee loved watching as a child. Moreover, this all gets revealed at the end of the novel, after Peach spends the entirety of it making an inside joke to himself about how sometimes the way Thee speaks sounds like he came right out of a soap opera. I suppose all these factors came together to give us the far more comedic and dramatic image of Thee actually currently being a huge fan of soap operas in general, which is honestly a hilarious and incredible decision.

ROMANCE OR SEX?

Now, this is a tough one, because what Thee ends up saying in the trailer can be interpreted in many ways.

He does begin by talking about sleeping with Aran.

But the next comment is perhaps a little more dramatically romantic, although - as I said - it can be interpreted in many different ways and perhaps the "burning desire" of which Thee speaks is the desire to nail and bail.

Regardless, in the novel, Thee is strictly interested in having sex with Aran and nothing more - in fact, he has never been in a relationship before and (up until meeting Peach) is only interested in one-night stands. Especially in conjunction with Thee from the mock trailer being fully into soap operas, I feel like he might take a more romance-aligned approach after all, or perhaps they will remain novel-accurate here and he will only be interested in Aran physically. We shall see.

ARSENI? YES AND NO

So, fun fact! Thee is half-Russian in the novel and his father is actually a notorious Russian mafia. (This is also why the author gave Thee "cigarette smoke coloured grey eyes" which I had to read about one too many times - Gods protect us from contact lenses in this series, although I've heard the director X first thought of casting Pond after he saw a photo of him with blue contacts, so I guess they are helpful somewhere). Regardless of my hatred for Pond covering his gorgeous brown eyes, 'Arseni' is not just the name of the company Thee owns, but also his family's surname. Now, you are in luck, as I am Russian and can confirm: Arseni cannot be a surname under any circumstances, although it is a popular first name in the country, so the author's research has either not been extensive enough or has simply been unsuccessful. In any case, both the trailer and recently Phuwin in an Instagram Live confirm that Thee will not be half-Russian in the series.

According to the trailer, Thee's first two names are intact, but his surname has been changed to Lee - if I had to guess based on that alone, he could be of numerous descents, there are multiple countries where that surname is quite common. Another hint, however, might be in Thee's conversation with his father from the trailer, where he speaks English. That could just be because they are being hashtag international in the family or indeed because his father is from an English-speaking country. Honestly, we have no way of knowing right now. The only thing that we do know is that he is definitely not half-Russian anymore.

Oh, and that Thee's company is still called 'Arseni', as the trailer confirms multiple times.

A POND NARAVIT CHARACTER WITH A GOOD FAMILY? NOT IN THIS ECONOMY

In the novel, Thee has a shockingly nice family. He gets along with his younger brother Rome well, his mother is very warm and loving, and his father is incredibly open-minded and supportive. To be fair, there are crumbs of some... peculiar upbringing in Thee's backstory for sure. He is taught to not trust anyone outside the family (which is also why he is not properly socialised) and Mok is specifically raised alongside him to make sure he would be a trustworthy confidant to him. But, considering the "business" the family is in, this isn't totally unreasonable and the family does accept Peach and his sister Phlub into it with open arms right away.

The trailer, however, paints such a drastically different picture that I am confident this is a big change that they've made. A stern father's voice says over the phone "This business is not a place for the weak, not for the people who let their emotions get in the way. You know that, my dear son?" Although we never actually witness a conversation between Thee and his father in the novel as such, this just does not line up with what we know about him. That man adores his wife, first and foremost, and he wishes for his son to find the same kind of love he has and to focus on something other than work - he would simply never disregard all emotions in name of business. Not to mention that this isn't really even a conversation Thee from the novel would have to have with his father. The younger son, Rome, is in charge of the shady parts of the business that require one to be truly ruthless and cunning, while Thee keeps to the clean cover-up businesses, which are his main projects.

AND THIS ACTUALLY LEADS ME INTO TWO OTHER POINTS:

MOK'S ROLE AND ROME'S DISAPPEARANCE

Like I have mentioned, Mok has been raised alongside Thee to be his trusted friend and confidant. While we do not immediately find out about this in the novel, it slowly becomes apparent just how close the two are, and their upbringing is eventually revealed, as a last piece of the friendship puzzle.

What Mok says here is more reminiscent of a bodyguard who is only just trying to get close to his distant boss, which - if true - changes a lot, not just about Mok, but also about Thee's upbringing.

Rome is also not present in the trailer. And while I do acknowledge that this might be due to timing issues, he is a relatively important character and - perhaps more importantly - GMMTV mock trailers rarely pass up on the chance to at least hint at a secondary romance, which (by tried and true GMMTV rules) should be WilliamEst here, as Rome and Mock are in an on-again, off-again relationship in the novel. In conjunction with the changes they made to Thee's father, I fear Rome might not exist in the series at all, making Thee the single heir and placing much more responsibility and shady business on his shoulders.

A MAFIA HAS PROBLEMS TOO

In the novel, Peach is the one who keeps running into issues and Thee is mostly his ever-powerful knight in shining armour, rushing to save him and finally make him feel cared for and protected. Not only is there no trace of this in the mock trailer, the roles are seemingly reversed.

It is true that Thee does not really have friends, aside from his family and Mok (who is basically also family). However, this is an issue that is approached very matter-of-factly in the novel. It is simply how he was raised and how he has been living for the past three decades. It is clearly treated with far more gravity in the trailer.

Similarly, while Thee often feels cold and empty, this is his general state of mind in the novel and it is certainly not accurate to how he feels when he is around Peach. If I had to guess, I would say the trailer is going for Peach slowly melting an iceberg that encapsulates Thee's heart, while in the novel the two have a very natural connection that immediately makes them both feel safe and warm.

If I am right on both counts, the weight of the two characters in the series will shift significantly and - dare I say - the main character, who is undeniably Peach in the novel, even with all the Thee POVs that we get, might actually be Thee in the series.

A BETTER ROMANCE STEREOTYPE

The 'Me and Thee' novel is an interesting little thing, because it is simultaneously chock-full of very classic soap opera esque tropes, but also criticises some other ones very pointedly.

The questions of force and consent in particular are often brought up by Peach. A classic mafia romantic interest in a soap opera would usually not be respectful of boundaries, but Thee is very far from that kind of stereotype himself and is taken farther from it still by Peach's guiding hand. I don't know if the series will bother with threading this particular message throughout the entire plot or if it's just a line thrown into this particular dialogue, but the novel certainly does. Although, even if it will not be emphasised in the series, I am confident there will be no nasty shit happening, judging by the tone of the trailer alone.

TO ARANTAWAN OR NOT TO ARANTAWAN? THAT IS THE QUESTION

So, the 'Me and Thee' novel does not have a secondary couple as such, and if I absolutely had to give that label to someone, it would actually go to MokRome - not AranTawan. Aran and Tawan are mostly used to propel TheePeach's relationship a couple of times and otherwise have a very tumultuous and frankly kind of toxic relationship, we never see any of their sweet moments or anything like that - mostly just Tawan being jealous and taking it out on Peach.

Looking at the mock trailer, that seems to check out. So, sorry PerthSanta cowboys, but I would hold our horses, at least for now.

A DIFFERENT ROLE FOR PHLUB

If i am right in assuming that Bonnie is playing Peach's sister Phlub (which is highly likely), she seems to have a different role in the series and be a slightly different character overall. In the mock trailer, she basically explains who Thee is and warns Peach to be careful - in the novel, she doesn't know anything about Thee's involvement in Peach's life until way wayyyy later. Not to mention that Phlub from the novel would be more likely to mischievously grin and tell her brother to have fun with his new rich friend than warn him away. To be fair, her scene is very short and she could very well be working as a mouthpiece for Thee's introduction that was simply an author's note in the novel, so I can't say for certain if this is a big change yet.

MORE DETAILS

You know how sometimes you read a romance novel or watch a romance movie or what have you and the characters on their own are a tad underdeveloped? Like, sure, they are real, the relationship is beautiful, but we don't know anything about them outside of their workplace and maybe their tragic backstory. Yeah, the 'Me and Thee' novel is kind of like that. The series seems to be rectifying that, however.

Both Thee's interest in arcades (?) and Peach's interest in handpans are not present in the novel.

Although the boys' wiliness to share in each other's interests and likes is very novel-accurate.

[xn3city]

And finally: the one I've been waiting for, the young man whose face leapt into my mind's eye when I read @romanceyourdemons's wonderful idea about SVSSS as an American nineties TV series and led me to draw all this, your blorbo and mine: Winter Mississippi, and the useless fake silver crucifix his adoptive mother gave him.

And yes, his cutie mark is an inverted cross. He's a demon!

Notes on the supporting cast:

Pablo Escobar was still kicking around in the early nineties, and I knew I wanted the Heavenly Demons to be narcos, in conflict with the USA armed force cultivators. Huan Hua Palace's shady vibe works especially well with the CIA.

"Old Palace Master" is actually a great spy handler codename, but I was not about to give a black character a boss called "Master." I mean, you could do it in a fic. I can think of three authors just off the top of my head who I would trust to sensitively explore the hideous resonance that would give to the way Su Xiyan was abused and exploited by the OPM. But I'm not a good writer with a lot of prose to work with, I'm just a mid artist with one panel and most of it is taken up by a horny joke. I just said no.

My favorite joke in this whole thing is that the Heavenly Demons are named Jesus and Lover-of-God.

Tried to capture that devoted gege-spitting wet cat dynamic between YQY and the Original Goods.

Shen Yuan pre-novel is such a cipher. I understand that the general consensus is that he died at about around 20, but…that's not the impression I got when I read SVSSS, actually. I get it now, but when he says something about not having gotten laid for twenty years: to be honest, I read that, and assumed he was, you know, 35 minimum, and having the mother of all dry spells.

And I think it makes the story better. A twenty year old wasting his time in his mom's basement reading crap webnovels and yelling on the forums: that's just a kid having a less than maximally productive gap year! He might well have had a stellar career of his own in real life eventually! It's not super surprising that he blossomed on Qing Jing Peak! But a thirty-five year old incel NEET angrily posting in that basement….that's a man who has had something go wrong in his life. I'm not saying you can't turn it around at thirty-five, you absolutely can, but I tell you: it's harder. Something is wrong, mentally or physically or both, and in a way that leaves a mark. Fifteen years are gone. Opportunites have passed that will not return. For that guy to be handed the responsibility of Shen Qingqiu's life, and do such a goddamn virtuoso job of turning it around: that is some bestselling-loveseat-level portrayal of how a different context could pull radically different capabilities out of a person. That makes SVSSS just as much about how the PIDW!world transformed Shen Yuan, and for the better, as it is about how Shen Yuan transformed Luo Binghe and his world. And that's a better story.

It does make the relationship age gap more disturbing - but if you weren't here for disturbing relationships, what are you doing reading SVSSS?

The cell phones are of course terribly anachronistic, but here's the thing - there is no equivalent, and there's no story without it. There is no Peerless Cucumber yelling at the frustrated PIDW author for hacking out the 6000th boring papapa scene, without creators being financially dependent on direct contact and support from their fans in a way that just didn't exist in the nineties. I remember how novel and exciting it was that J. Michael Straczynski hung out on rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5; he absolutely did not have to. Eventually I decided that The Demon Heart of Winter Mississippi was, somehow, a nineties TV show about the 2010s, and everyone could have their phones. You know Minnie Liu is writing RPF on hers.

In case any of these weren't clear:

Demon Heart = Xin Mo Winter Mississippi = Luo Binghe (from @romanceyourdemons) "Don" Teófilo Lanza = Tianlang-Jun Chucho Lanza = Zhuzhi-Lang Sue Sheehan = Su Xiyan Codename: OPM = Old Palace Master Saul Czerniak = Shang Qinghua Wally Shen = Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu Julius Shen = Shen Jiu/Shen Qingqiu Adam Montague = Yue Qingyuan Helmut von Nordwüste = Mobei-Jun (from @romanceyourdemons) Shelley Howe = Sha Hualing Minnie Liu = Liu Mingyan Max Liu = Liu Qingge Néné Young = Ning Yingying Michael Ventola = Ming Fan

Fun game: guess whose likenesses I used for reference for all these characters!

[just-b-wilde]

I saw seven episodes of the third season...

Okay, in the context of things, season three is much better than I remember. And my main takeaway? There are a lot of hints in season three about where season four, and even the finale, will lead. But maybe more on that later.

What do I like about season 3?

Five and Lila - of course! I love their scenes.

Sloane and Luther - oh my gosh, I fell in love with those two in my fiction and now I enjoy them even more.

Klaus - honestly, his scenes with Reginald are actually interesting! Yes, Reginald is still a bit of a bastard, but it's actually nice to see him interact with "one of his kids" somehow more.

I liked the debate between Five and Victor when he told him what he did to get them back. God, Aidan is such a great actor! He can evoke authority and respect, just like his character should be able to. I like that a lot.

I liked when Lila talked about time travel and the necessary point to focus on. Haha, say hello to S4.

Oh, and I also liked the trip of Five and Victor!

And what don't I like about the season 3?

After how great Ben is in S2, Ben from S3 is like a kick in the gut.

I remember now why I have a problem with Allison.

The Harlen story. Harlen is like "I have no idea how to live with my powers" and then he seems like someone who teaches Victor because he can control it better than he can? Like… what? And then the thing with Allison? I mean, on the one hand, I get it, but I have a weird feeling about it.

Victor seems awfully whiny to me. I wouldn't mind it in a woman, but I really hate it in a man. Sorry.

I'm not a big fan of the Stanley plot.

And I would also like to say… it's nice to see Lila and Diego working together, isn't it? Except not at all! God, what was that? Lila was worried about Stanley, but instead of looking for him, she was eating sushi? They can't agree on anything and even Diego put them in danger (but yes, it's true, who knew how dangerous a bell could be, right?). Could they survive more than a week on the subway when Diego managed to lose two fingers in five minutes? 😅 Am I biased towards their relationship? Well, maybe… a little. But in that scene, neither of them proved to be a capable parent, and their cooperation was questionable. Besides, Stanley was really a kid with a lot of problems. Diego wouldn't say half a word to Lila about it? Well, they're all kind of mentally disturbed over there, so why am I surprised.

Yes, Lila and Five may hate each other (but honestly, after the bathroom scene, I don't even get that feeling) but they can work together and surprisingly, they can respect each other. Five is still more of an authority figure to her than anyone else in the family. Lila is not stupid or incompetent, but she is often very distracted. I think Five can kind of keep her grounded and let her fly at the same time. I don't know a better way to describe it. But he's never surprised at her behavior or what she says or does. But Diego, he doesn't understand her behavior almost most of the time. They're not often on the same frequency (maybe so when they're in bed together).

I'll continue tomorrow.