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bubacorn · 9 months ago

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hc: Vessel is bad at receiving compliments and being told that he is loved (hug inspired by this one, @ghxstly-death put it into words perfectly. thank you, Eden!🫂)

Thinking about Vessel who can't accept compliments, not because he doesn't believe them (that too), but because he'd heard them so many times in the past related to small, unimpressive things. Not 'I'm proud of you', just 'You did good', an automatic response to any and all achievements. He did good. He didn't know what 'good' meant, but apparently, he did that. He has no idea what was good about what he did, so he continues to push himself, to not be a disappointment. If he does good, then that should be enough, right?

He tries for great, for excellent, for something more, but he always gets 'good', unrelated to the effort and time he put into something. He knows he shouldn't wish for more specific compliments, or anything else, really. He should be grateful to be regarded. Everyone around him is so busy, they can't possibly have time to listen to him talk about how in reality, he has no idea what he's doing. How things sometimes just click but he can't tell if what he did is actually worth anything or it was just pure luck. How he doubts himself at every step but learned to hide it, because he has to be good. And good means coping and dealing with things by himself and quietly, because then he will be told that he did good and who wouldn't want to be good?

Vessel who hears 'I love you' for the first time (said with actual love behind it for the very first time) in a really long time from II. He wouldn't tell the other that, but it's clear from the surprise and the hopeful longing in Vessel's eyes. His friend told him he loves him and he doesn't know what to do with that, so he hesitantly steps to him and begins to lift his arms in question. II's heart squeezes at his shyness, after all, the other has spent months alone in the manor, so it's understandable that he would have grown unaccustomed to touch. But then II has to pull Vessel against him, because the man sort of hovers his arms around his frame as if he doesn't know how to approach a hug. Like he isn't sure what is expected of him and what is too much.

Vessel is surprised when II squeezes around his torso, when he brings one arm around his shoulder and the other to his neck, trying to bring Vessel down towards him, like he wants to protect and shelter him. That's strange, but Vessel finds that his arms want to stay wrapped loosely around II a bit longer and just as he starts to pull away, II again says "I love you, Vessel", and Vessel's brain freezes. II squeezes him tighter and Vessel feels so warm and strangely loose (he's afraid he will unravel if he stays too close for too long) and small even though he towers over his friend. His friend who is now holding him and who apparently loves him.

The only thing in his mind stumbles from his tongue in the form of a quiet "Why?". He didn't do anything exceptional. He was showing II an arrangement and said he wasn't sure if it was any good, letting his fingers dance over the keys, feeling like he was stumbling through music. He felt like it captured that familiar insecurity, and he liked it and hoped II would like it, too. Even if it didn't make it into a song. Then II said he did like it, that it feels like Vessel is unsure but it gives the melody a unique flavor, and that Vessel was great for translating that feeling into music.

"'Why?' ?" II's answering question is filled with such disbelief that Vessel wants to hide. He said something inappropriate, something secret that had previously only been dwelling in his mind, in a dark corner, and now he feels exposed. Why did he even open his mouth? Not good. Definitely bad.

Vessel is slumping against II a bit, like he doesn't know how to hold himself upright anymore, like he needs support. II must feel it, because he's still holding him, and it's been minutes and Vessel tries to squirm away, to save any dignity he might still possess, and II lets him slip out of the embrace, but his arms linger like he doesn't want to let go of his friend. His friend who just blurted out the worst response to a confession of gentle affection. Vessel looks so worried when he catches II's gaze and he immediately averts his eyes and takes a few small steps back, unconsciously gravitating towards his piano for protection, a sense of safety.

"You're my friend, Vessel," II tries approaching the man with soft words, "You're kind and considerate and a damn good musician," Vessel stops backing away when the back of his legs hit the edge of his piano bench, but he's still looking at the floor, "You pour your heart into writing and playing and it's amazing to see. You're committed, but patient and you help me every time I need. Even when I'm too embarrassed to ask," II tilts his head and steps a bit closer to try and catch Vessel's gaze, "I know you don't see it and I'm sorry that you can't because it's true. I would never lie to you about this, Ves. I love you, you're my best friend," Vessel presses his lips together, so II adds, "Not just because we live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. You're the best friend I've ever had. And I'm glad Sleep led me to you."

Vessel gives him a look that shows he tries really hard to believe him, and adds in such a low voice it's almost a whisper, "I love you, too," as if he's embarrassed to admit it. But it's not embarrassment, II realizes, it's disbelief, it's some sort of deep shame about needing someone else, of relying on anyone else but himself at all times. And it makes sense, considering Vessel's nature, but II could never put it all together, since large chunks of Vessel's past were unfamiliar to him. He could have guessed based on how the man acted, but he didn't want to assume anything. It felt disrespectful. Vessel would share if he wanted.

"And I'm really glad you found me," just a beat of silence, before he adds, in an even quieter tone, if that's possible, "And that you stayed," Vessel risks a bashful glance towards II, and sees him blink rapidly, shocked by the implication of the other's words, before he shakes himself and steps closer to Vessel. He searches his face for apprehension, but doesn't find any, so he gently puts his hands on Vessel's upper arms and sits him down on his bench. Before Vessel can react, II has his arms wrapped around him, one around his shoulder, and the other's hand cupping the back of his head and cradling it to his front.

"You're important to me, Ves. You're special and precious and I love you," II's fingers caress the man's shoulder and card through his hair, "I want you to know that I'm here for you any time, okay?" Vessel is still stunned and he's sure he's going catch on fire if he gets any warmer. II twists a lock of hair around his finger, "Okay?" Words form and die in Vessel's throat so he just nods, rapidly, almost hurriedly, and II lets out a small chuckle. "You're amazing, you know that?" he nuzzles into Vessel's hair for a moment to murmur, "And adorable," II sways with the man in his arms a little and Vessel is sure he will combust. His face is flaming against II's shirt and he tries to suppress the half grimace-half grin on his face and feels unreal. "C'mon. Tea break?" II smiles down at him and offers a hand. Vessel can stand on his own, but doesn't reject the offer. He likes the warmth of II's hand and he can always use the stability and the reminder of the other's presence. II soon replaces his hand with a mug of tea, but it's considerably colder to Vessel. The contrast is especially palpable when II brushes his knuckles against Vessel's as he's handing him his tea. The mug is warm, but II's skin is burning against his. But it's not bad. It's a good burn. It makes Vessel feel alive. Seen. Loved?

Vessel learns that he doesn't have to prove himself to other people to receive love. Love is not something that has to be earned in their home. Love is not a reward, not something that Vessel has to work for, then be disappointed that in the end, it isn't actually given to him. He tried being good in the past, being silent and keeping his head down and being a good kid, but the warmth and the unconditional love didn't come. He still tried, though, he always tried his best, but apparently that wasn't enough. Or there wasn't actually love at the end of that tunnel. It was just a play of light. But that would have been cruel and Vessel would like to think that people in his past weren't intentionally unkind to him (he won't admit the truth to himself for a while).

II often tells Vessel that he's proud of him. For speaking up. For telling him when he's having a bad day. For asking for distance when he needs it and closeness when he feels like he will drift away. For admitting to messing up, when he falls back into bad habits of self-destruction and isolation. For doing a grocery run by himself even though he goes home almost shaking and has to spend the next hours under a blanket on the couch, because it was simply too much. For crying when he talks about memories that he tried his hardest to forget but he just can't. For asking for help and letting II help him, even though it's hard. It's really hard, and Vessel apologizes for it, for being fucked-up and broken and damaged goods. For wasting II's time and being a burden, a needy, greedy thing. Wretched. Minus human.

But II tells him he loves him and that he could never be a burden. That he will always be worth it, he always has been, and that he's sorry that people in Vessel's past couldn't see it. Couldn't see him for all that he is. For the friend who pays attention to little details so he can show his friend how much he values him. For the guy who bakes his friend a complicated cake for his birthday because he off-handedly told him he can't even remember what it tasted like, even though it used to be his favorite. For the amazing composer who can capture emotions one doesn't realize one has. For the hard-working, curious kid who thought that being obedient and not questioning authority was the way to earn praise and affection. For the little boy who thought something was wrong with him, that he did or didn't do something and that is why he couldn't feel loved. For the child who cried and cried, silent and under the cover of the night, hoping that no one would hear (and secretly hoping that somebody would and they would come and save him from the gaping emptiness that made its home in his chest, way too big and scary for a boy that little). For the boy and then the man who couldn't cry anymore but thought that that is more than alright, at least he can finally keep it all inside. For the partner who allowed himself to be vulnerable with someone he trusted. For the partner who made sure his other knew he was always welcome, even though his brain sometimes tried to tell him otherwise. For the partner who grew comfortable with expressing casual affection so much that terms like 'darling' became second nature to him (and for the way he blushed when II told him that). For the man who learned to accept that it's okay to admit to not being okay, to need someone, to want to not feel alone, to feel cherished, to have his feelings validated. For the man who can tell his partner anything and does, because he knows he can speak his mind and that there will be someone who listens.

II wanted to see Vessel. Vessel let him. Even before he showed the uglier and less than perfect parts of himself, II loved him all the same. It was never about being 'good' and silent and compliant. Vessel is good. Vessel is not good. He's amazing. He's perfect. He's wonderful. He's cherished. He's incredible. He's valued. He's seen. He's listened to. He's heard. He's finally, finally loved. Has been for longer than he dared to think. Will soon be by more people than he thought possible.

#Vessel was a gifted kid who tried to push through burnout and mental illness #waiting for someone to tell him they see and love him and are proud of him #and you can't change my mind #making myself sad first thing in the morning #what else is new #<- it's night since then but this still applies #yes i included a Metallica reference (almost two). fight me (please don't i have shrimp-like arms and get scared easily)#also #tumblr scared the crap out of me earlier #i posted this privately after it posted instead of saving it as a draft #and apparently it was visible #and i got so freaking scared cause this wasn't finished #so i apologize for deleting and reposting #but my heart stopped for a moment and i whispered like 10 'shitshitshit's at my computer #i should be reading for a class tomorrow #sleep token headcanons #buba writes

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yujeong · 3 months ago

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Pete didn't realize he was holding his breath until Vegas slightly moved in front of him. He was too focused on what was in Vegas' hands, stretched in his direction for Pete to apparently take.

A gift, Vegas called it. Pete couldn't understand.

"Vegas. What are those?"

It was a stupid question to ask, but Pete couldn't help it.

Vegas' grip tightened around the bouquet. "Isn't it obvious? Flowers," he replied hastily, the pitch of his voice higher than normal. "Do you not like them?"

He was nervous. On edge. It explained some things, but not everything. Pete had to know. He had to figure out what was going on.

"Did something happen at the compound?"

Vegas had been at a meeting with Porsche all evening. He had seemed fine upon returning home, but then he suddenly interrupted Pete who had been washing the dishes and pulled out a bouquet of yellow roses from his backpack and he offered them to him with a warm smile on his face, somehow expecting Pete to not grow suspicious of the gesture.

"Why do you think something happened at the compound?" Vegas asked and his tone of voice made Pete finally raise his head to look at him.

Vegas looked hurt. His eyes were glassy, his breathing uneven. He was going to cry soon if this conversation continued. Pete didn't want that.

"I... just... Vegas, we can go to our bedroom if you want-"

"Fuck, Pete, it's not about that," Vegas groaned and threw the bouquet on the dinner table. He ruffled his hair harshly and muttered something Pete didn't hear. Probably calling himself a failure, as always.

"Has nobody ever given you a present before?" he shouted two seconds later, returning his attention to Pete, who could feel his eyebrows furrowing as he was staring back at him.

All Pete could do at the moment was utter the first thing that came to his mind.

"No? Why would they need to?"

Seeing the change in Vegas' demeanor made Pete come to a second realization then; that was the wrong answer to give.

#ok so a couple of points here #1. I don't remember if it was yellow roses that Vegas gave to Porsche in the extra story but we'll pretend it was #I won't have only BOC give me parallels between Porsche and Pete in regards to Vegas ok? I'll create my own too #2. I'm sure Pete has received gifts in his life - his grandma is right there to give him all the love nobody else did #but we'll suspend our disbelief here a little bit for this to become a little more tragic thank you #I just had an amazing discussion this morning about this topic and I wanted to explore it #Did I do a good job? eeeeeehhh #but yeah anyway good job Pete dear 10/10 #(Also this scenario can fit into the instances that Pete is the one who hurts Vegas emotionally and not the other way around)#(It can happen people!! Outside of sex too!!)#(And I'll be here to scream about it thank you)#vegaspete #yu is writing #I managed to write words 🥹 Someone be proud of me hahahah

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backpackingspace · 6 months ago

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Have we considered a sw time travel au were din travels to the past meets Yoda through a comedy of errors and comes to the conclusion that he has traveled into the far future and that Yoda is his grown up son

#Star wars #Time travel au #Crack #din djarin #yoda #Din coming to the conclusion that luke must have started the jedi order #(The order that his son is uncharged of! He's so proud)#He hears that satine is the dutchess and assumes bo-katan takes the dark saber from him (thank god) and that this is jer descendant #Yoda known chaos lover is having the time of his life this is hilarious and the most fun he's had in ages and dins a good dad #Mace windu would like to murder someone(yoda) and then be sedated please and thanks #Dealers choice on who travels back with din but they are very aware that they are in the past

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thedailydescent · 5 months ago

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honestly just blocking people who call lestat mother at this point. like say it were true, that louis was in this scenario the father who crawled home after saying abusive things to his wife and forced him (i guess he has all the power here too) to have a child that he did not want which resulted in him growing to resent her as she grew up in his image. in what scenario would this hypothetical father of a nuclear family unit ever beg for a girl?

#the patriarch longs for a junior him that he can be proud of #a girl would be no use to him and annoy him like his nagging wife #ok that's enough going through the tags for a while 2x07 brought out the worst posts this season by far #how you look at someone crying and begging on their knees to their abuser that they'll stay and give up their personhood for you #and think yeah this is represents a father who forced his wife to have a child lol #iwtv discourse

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softquietsteadylove · 3 months ago

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omg I love possessive Gil in your 10 things AU so much🥵 can you please write more smut like that? (with any AU you want)💌❤️‍🔥

Thena laughed at the man's joke, who was happy to receive her payment with a sleek smile. His hand even floated down to her shoulder. Their exchange continued, but that hand felt the need to linger.

Gil watched it the entire time.

Thena was on her doctor mandated break, from both performing and even teaching for at least two weeks. He was happy to take care of her at home, but almost at the end of her time off, she was getting restless. So, seeing a show seemed like a great idea.

Thena had a great time--at least he thought she did. He had asked if she knew anyone in it but she hadn't recognised any names from the show program. That made this even worse.

The male lead had just happened to recognise Thena, purely from running in similar professional circles. Gil was proud of it! She was an amazing ballerina, of course she should be recognised for it. That wasn't the problem. This guy was the problem.

"I'm honoured I could finally meet the Swan herself," he schmoozed right in her face.

Gil tugged at his tie. He called her that, thank you.

"I've seen so many of your shows, I should be the one dying to meet you," he continued. His hand left Thena's shoulder, but only to trail down her arm to clasp her hand in his. He was really pushing it.

"Nonsense, you're the crown jewel of your company," she countered his flattery, although she hadn't yanked her hand out of his yet, much to Gil's distaste.

"If only I were the crown jewel of yours." Okay, this guy definitely knew what he was doing. Gil stood straighter as the man even raised Thena's hand to his lips.

"Oh," she blinked, blushing faintly as he did so.

Gil cleared his throat loudly. He had stood by for enough of this. He moved in without a thought to the jostling of everyone. He elbowed the man out of his way and captured Thena's waist in his arm. "Sorry, we're late for something."

"Gil!"

"Of course," the man sighed dramatically. He waved as Thena was dragged away from him. "It was a pleasure, ma cherie!"

"I'll show you pleasure.

"Gilgamesh," Thena huffed as he ushered her into an empty dressing room and slammed the door behind them. "What is-!"

He pulled her close, taking her lips in his. He cushioned the back of her head with his hand, although her back hit the door as he pressed as close as he could get.

Thena moaned against his lips, their tongues moving fluidly and her hands on his cheeks. Her shoulders bunched up, surprised by his urgency.

He moved his shoulders, eager to get her elbows out of his way. He moved his hands from her waist to grasp her behind through the light layers of her pretty dress.

"Gil!" she all but yelped. He hoisted her, hands grasping her behind so he could move them from the door to the mirror. He plunked her down onto the table of it, her shoulders pressed against the cold glass. She gasped. "What are you doing?!"

But he wasn't in the mood. He was in a very different mood. He grasped the insides of her knees to help them wind around him. These things were the perfect height. "You want pleasure?"

"Gil," Thena attempted to scold him, but he could watch the tiny twitches in her face as he trailed his hand up the inside of her thigh.

"You can have it," he breathed into her ear. He dragged his teeth over it, enjoying the flush of red that followed. She shivered. He used the other hand to trail over where he had watched that asshole do exactly the same. He would replace that man's touch on Thena's body with his own. "Because you're mine."

"Gil," she bit her lip as he latched onto her neck. His one hand continued to trail lightly from her hand up to her shoulder, back and forth, up and down, so lightly it was almost ticklish. But he reached her shoulder and planted it more firmly. "We can't."

"What did I just say?" he whispered roughly, his other hand reaching its goal and easily pushing aside the white lace she was wearing. He remembered it well; he had watched her select that exact set and then joke about not going.

Thena whimpered as he skipped any sort of warm up and instead pushed in just the tips of his fingers first.

"Miss Thena," he teased, pushing in to the second knuckle. "What did I tell you?"

"You're mine," she panted, her hands finally moving up his chest and around his neck to his back to pull him closer.

He chuckled. It was close enough. He liked rendering his Swan all ruffled and speechless. He dove, dragging his teeth from her neck down her clavicle to her cleavage. "I said you're mine."

Thena let out a deeper moan as he pushed his fingers in completely, simultaneously using his teeth to drag down the front of her dress. It had been sitting just off her shoulders, teasing him all night.

He reached for the back zipper, freeing her breasts completely. Its tightness had offered her some lift. He admired the way they bounced, now at gravity's mercy again.

"Gil, please," she whimpered, moving her hips with his fingers.

He could multitask. He continued to watch the rhythm of her breasts, eventually bending his head to take a nipple between his teeth. He bit a little more firmly than necessary. Her back arched but he pushed his thumb into the dip of her collar bone, not needing any pressure to keep her shoulders against the mirror. It was fogging up.

Thena whined as he pulled his fingers away. She was panting for breath and a light sheen was fighting the setting layer of her makeup. "Jealous and a tease?"

If he could give her behind a little smack, he would. But he kept her firmly planted on it, deliberately pulling both hands away from her to undo his belt. She watched with hunger in her eyes. "This what you want?"

She nodded.

He undid his suit trousers, pulling himself out and grasping himself at the base. Fuck, he was hard. "Say it."

"I want you," she managed, her voice full of breath.

He bent her knees more, forcing the skirt of her dress up and out of his way. He gripped the flesh of her inner thigh, a fine mix of natural fat and firm muscle. It clenched as he massaged little circles with his thumb closer and closer to her hip. "Ask for it."

A flash of stubbornness passed over her. He raised his eyebrows, just touching his tip to her warmth.

Her eyes lowered as she looped her arms around his neck, "please, Gil?"

"Please," he moved closer to her ear again, letting her fold her swanly form around him. He nipped at her earring, "what?"

"Please," she whimpered again, the red from her ears shooting down her neck. "Fuck me."

"Good girl," he congratulated her as he pushed in. She moaned, her knees tightening around him before stretching out and then closing in again. "You're mine, aren't you?"

"Yes," she gasped, her whole body adjusting to him in this position as he kissed along her throat.

"And this," he grinned, rolling his hips and hitting up and forward within her. Oh, this was a good spot. She tightened around him and he nipped at her cleavage again in thanks. "This is mine."

"Yes," she moaned, trying to urge him into moving more.

He leaned forward, pushing them both more firmly against the mirror behind them. It was completely fogged up from their heat now. Thena's bare shoulders squeaked against the glass. "All mine?"

"Yes," she whined, digging her heel into the back of his thigh.

"Say it," he teased again, moving lightly, as if they had all the time in the world for him to fuck her in a strange theatre full of other patrons.

"I'm all yours."

"Good."

Gil slammed their hips together, picking up a completely frantic pace. He gripped his arm around Thena, keeping her at the perfect precipice, close enough to the edge for him to push all the way in but also safely planted on the counterspace. These things were not meant to be fucked on; he could hear the braces of it in the wall as they moved.

Thena made a buffet of sounds for him to enjoy. Her head rotated between leaning down, searching for him, and pressing the bun in her hair against the mirror, smearing the steam. "Gil!"

He ran his hand down her arm again, bringing her hand to his lips, then her wrist, then up her arm. "Mine, mine, mine."

"Yours," she repeated back to him. He wasn't sure she was really in the depths of territorial need like he was. But so long as she was enjoying herself, that was what mattered. "Fuck, Gil, I'm-"

"Coming?" he snarled, trailing his tongue from between her breasts and up her neck. He nipped at the sharp angle of her jawbone. "On whose cock?"

"Yours," she answered again, although her voice was so breathy and high in pitch it was getting hard to hear her.

"Say it," he grunted, changing angle, pushing the top of his head down and burying his face in her breasts. Her fingers ran through his hair.

"Your cock, yours," she obeyed, pulsing around him frantically. He gripped her hips and pulled her, slamming and grinding them together where they were joined. Her shoulders slipped down and she gripped the corners of the counter edge as she came.

Gil held her by the waist, lifting her bottom half completely to keep them firmly joined. He came with her, both of them erupting with nowhere to go. He opened his eyes slowly, coming down from the high as they both gasped for breath.

The skirt of her dress pooled around their hips and drooped down from where he was holding her. But he heard a faint dripping sound that made him feel positively feral.

Thena attempted to call out his name, but she was shaking all over, especially her arms. He moved closer again, helping support her again. She leaned over him, her back to the mirror and her front to his chest. She whimpered as he slipped out of her.

Gil examined the damage, slipping her panties back into place, not that she didn't squirm at that. He glanced briefly at the floor as he stuffed himself back into his trousers and did up his belt.

Thena cleared her throat. He looked at her and she looked positively scandalised. Although, her glaring and pouting would do a lot more if she weren't so flushed, and such a cute shade of pink. "Gil."

He chuckled, knowing exactly what she was asking. "Yes, Miss Thena."

She looked away as he wiped the evidence of them off the floor. Her legs were crossed and she was gripping the skirt of her dress over her lap. "I like this dress, you know."

"I'll have it dry cleaned, Gorgeous," he promised, kissing her cheek as he gently helped her slide off the counter. Her heels hit the floor but they clattered and skidded as she struggled to stand upright. "You got it?"

She grumbled into his chest, trying to find the strength in her knees.

"Hm?" he hummed, observing the top of her head and how even her bun was a little messed up now. He picked at it, trying to make it seem more deliberate. She swatted his hand away.

"I said you were insufferable," she huffed as she finally managed to take two straight steps without wobbling.

No, watching some stranger paw at his girlfriend was insufferable. This was quite pleasurable, if he did say so himself. He tilted his head as Thena paused at the door. "Sweetheart?"

She turned, positioning herself behind him. "Tell me if it's all clear."

His poor Thena. She could be so adventurous at times, but when it came to the consequences of their lovemaking, she would prefer not to deal with them. He gripped the handle, ready to strut his stuff.

#Thenamesh Ballerina/Boxer AU #Thenamesh 18+#thank you so much!!!#for the compliment and the ask #I have been looking forward to jealous Gil in this au again actually #it worked out when he learned Ben wasn't who he thought he was #but Gil absolutely is ready to fuck shit up #this guy #this fan boy #he fawns all over Thena and tells her how much he admires her professionally #meanwhile Gil is over here as if the man just got on one knee and proposed to her in front of him #he's handsome and French and he's just as graceful as Thena is #Gil: it's time to fuck #he leaves first #he does make sure no one is at least waiting outside the room or anything #he reaches back #Thena takes his hand and sheepishly sneaks out with him #once they're in the car she slaps him on the arm #it's not funny!#but Gil has never been more proud of himself #the little shit #he does have Thena's dress dry cleaned perfectly #not that she can look at it the same way again #Thena doesn't have social media #but she finds out that there are whispers of how someone snuck off and fucked in a dressing room #she's mortified but Gil is like good that dude can stay in his lane #Sersi knows it was them #she just...knows

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