#but having fern even blame herself?

[magpiesky]

One grave fits multiple bodies

BB!Ferncloud, Ashfur and Elderberry fanart for @bonefall

Non blood version below

[climbthemountain2020]

every single thing to come has turned into ashes

Ao3

Who's ready to be sad? Thanks for beta-reading this ages ago, @tunaababee

The Lady of Autumn ventures deep into the woods in order to right the wrongs of her husband.

The halls were dark despite the warm evening glow outside as she fled through the house, ducking behind statues and tapestries as needed to avoid guards and servants alike. The house was alive with activity, even with her husband being gone. She tried to slink through the walkways and rooms unnoticed, head bowed, keeping to the walls. If anyone saw and recognized her, she wouldn’t be able to complete what she’d set out to do, and it was of the utmost importance.

She knew these halls like the back of her hand - hundreds of years of practice in stealthily making her way through them had prepared her for situations exactly like this one where she needed to sneak out and back unnoticed. She wasn’t at her best this evening, her face still swollen with tears and grief and shock over the horrors which had transpired earlier in the day. She'd spent a long time in her rooms today–waiting for news, waiting for the tears to stop, waiting for some form of absolution that would never come.

Two sons lost, another lost to her forever, the life of a young female snuffed out senselessly.

Her heart grieved, but she had a single goal in mind tonight, and she would see it fulfilled no matter the cost.

Everyone was too distracted with the day’s events to pay much mind past their gossip, but she knew it would not be good for her if she was seen. She moved on quiet feet, halting before corners and tiptoeing into rooms to hide as others passed. Word traveled fast in the Forest House, and everyone reported back to Beron–it was her skin or theirs, and they would never risk themselves Beron’s ire, even if she was their Lady.

She slipped through to the garden - the greenhouse doors beyond were regularly unguarded and led straight to the woods. She made a quick stop on her way, then stepped quietly–her footfalls still light as a feather on the soft fallen leaves–out into the darkness. She knew what Beron would have ordered, what he would have made her own sons carry out. She’d hated him for centuries, but she felt closer than she’d ever been to killing him herself. It would be a fruitless battle, but as Lucien was now gone and two additional children dead, she found it harder and harder to muster a reason to stay, to live.

Alanna winnowed to the border of Spring, right to where she knew only hours ago her boys had been killed–one at the hand of the young Lord of Spring, one at the hand of her youngest. Blood against blood, and yet, she couldn’t blame a single one of them. She’d grown each one from nothing–nourished them, held them, loved them into this world. It was Beron who had warped them, trying his best to turn them into monsters in his own image. It was Beron who had ripped them from her arms when he deemed them ready to “become a proper male”. It was Beron who had killed the female today while Lucien screamed like it was him being ripped in two. It was Beron who had ordered them to chase and kill her last baby.

She walked along the border forest, knowing Beron would have wrung every possible bit of cruelty from the situation. Finally, after about ten minutes of searching, she found her. Right on the edge of the woods on a tree bared to Spring for anyone approaching the border to see, was the female fae her son had watched be slaughtered this morning. He’d screamed as though his heart had shattered. He’d screamed like Alanna would have had it been–

The young female was lovely, an Autumn fae through and through. Her skin was soft and freckled, the lightest green in the shape of twirling vines imprinted upon her skin–likely since birth. She had deep, dark brown hair filled with wild curls and sprigs of fern twisted about within. She looked as though she belonged in the woods, but not like this.

Alanna used her hands to pull the long, iron nails from the tree and the cold body of the fae girl before her, holding the hard body to her chest as it slumped down and fell. She cradled the head as she would a newborn babe’s as she laid the female out, brushing her flowing hair from her face.

Had her son done this a million times? Had he thought he’d get to a million more?

She pressed her hand gently to the jagged tear across the female’s neck, letting the sharp tang of magic pass through her hand and knit the flesh back together. She wound it down her body, soothing down the blisters of the burns and leaving nothing but lovely, smooth skin in its wake. Alanna used her own dress to rub the dried blood from the female’s soft features as best she could. She imagined the female animated, laughing at a joke Lucien told her as she sat curled on a tree branch like a contented barn cat, mischief and delight in her eyes.

Did her baby boy love this fae the same way she loved his father? Had Lucien been her mate? Was he safe in Spring with a gaping wound in his chest now?

She left her in the soft nest of Autumn leaves as she rose to dig her grave under a sprawling oak, more ancient than the land itself, hoping that the gnarled and swirling branches would grant her the safety and protection in death she hadn’t received in this life.

She took the shovel she’d stolen from the gardening sheds as she fled, digging into the soft soil and loam. She dug for what felt like hours, rending the earth and digging a sizable grave for the young girl. Jesminda. Alanna was sweating and panting, her years of forced inactivity within the walls of her gilded cage leaving her breathless and unused to expending so much magic or this much physical activity. When the hole was sufficiently deep, she held the female and lowered her in as gently as she could by herself.

"Cauldron save you, Mother hold you. Pass through the gates, and smell that immortal land of milk and honey. Fear no evil. Feel no pain. Go, and enter eternity.” She placed Jesminda’s hands across her stomach, noticing the gold and emerald ring that sang so loudly of Lucien on her finger. Her heart ached for her boy who she’d hoped would never experience the sort of pain around love that she had. She leaned down one more to place a light kiss on the brow of the lovely Autumn female who had loved her son the way Alanna always prayed someone would.

“Goodbye, sweet girl,” she whispered, climbing back up.

When the hole in the earth was filled, Alanna willed the breeze to spread the leaves across it again as though it had remained undisturbed this whole time. She hefted a large, time-smoothed stone on top, hoping one day, in a better world, she might show Lucien this place.

As she readied to go, she pushed out a final show of magic, carving a single word into the rock.

Beloved.

She swept the moss back over it, charmed it all to look indistinguishable to the naked eye, bowed her head once more, and winnowed away as though she’d never been there at all.

[flamemittens]

TOO LATE. I SEND WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. FOR THE FLOWER ASK: FERN

Flower Language Prompts from here.

Pairing - Gortash x Fem!Durge. 730 words.

*Now extended and on AO3*

Fern - "In a world of magic, the greatest miracle was you."

She has always surprised him.

Is still surprising him, even after all this time, after all they have been through together. She’s been a particular triumph to discover, to puzzle out, to learn over the years—and a frustration at times too, if he’s honest.

The living weapon he met in those early months, and sought to wield himself, has long since become, in a word, more. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Hells, none of this was. Hands that were only supposed to shake once in agreement, now firmly clasped together, oftentimes sweat-slicked and longing.

She has her more chaotic, unknowable, and frankly odd moments, and he has learnt how to deal with it all. She is silk laid over a serrated blade. However, she has become a kindred spirit in so many ways he was not expecting. A hand-crafted match.

Tonight, she’s here in his chambers once more, perched on one of his knees as she thumbs through a sketchbook on his desk. She had declined his offer of a proper chair when she arrived earlier via the terrace windows as per her custom—for once blessedly clean of the aftermath of her calling—instead opting to sit herself down on him and simply respond- ‘This will do’.

“Very well, you infuriating woman” was his retort, slipping a hand round her hip to steady her. “Here. I have something for you to look at.”

And now, he sips at his whisky as he watches her study the schematics. He offers her no hints, but it does not take long for her to discover the amendment. Her face lights up when she sees it, tapping the page with an elegant index finger. “I see you have solved your potential problem with the exponentially high-power requirement at high velocity. This low friction spherical joint design should take care of that.”

He never doubted her. Still, every time, the feeling of being understood, even appreciated, touches him in a way he does not know how to parse. He’s not even sure he wants to.

“And the fusion of biological ideals with that of the mechanical? This is…this is brilliant, Enver.”

He feels almost foolish at how easily the praise stokes the warmth in his chest nursed by the alcohol. His hand reflexively grips her hip a little tighter, as the other swirls the amber liquid in its glass. An idle thought floats to him—he recalls how she had once told him how much she liked the scent of the whisky on his breath. The taste of it on his tongue.

“Yes” is all he offers.

She stops and considers him for a moment, head canted to the side as if somehow the angle will make things clearer.

“You are in a strange mood tonight. You are quiet. Laconic. What ails you?” she tuts, placing her hand on his forehead in a parody of concern for his temperature.

She then shifts closer, and cards her fingers through his hair, nails lightly raking his scalp. It’s soft, too soft for them. He should stand up, take his leave—but he doesn’t. Instead, he thinks about all the things he wants to say to her; the words sit dangerously, blasphemously, close to the tip of his tongue amongst the whisky. He swallows it all down.

“As you wish” she says after a spell, lips curling upwards in a fleeting smirk. He catches it, as he always does. “Keep your secrets, Lord Gortash.”

She does not push him. She knows not to, for the most part.

Suddenly she sighs, closes the book, and stands up; he briefly mourns the loss of the warmth, and wonders if she will insist on making her departure now. He would not blame her. He is poor company tonight. He opens his mouth to try asking her to stay, but before his brain can supply the words, she turns and settles in his lap, straddling him, hands smoothing down his shirt collar—she’s a familiar, comforting weight even as her orange-gold eyes assess him further. A lesser man would wilt under such scrutiny. But not him. A lesser man—and the world is full of damnably lesser men—would not be able to know her, to value her, to match her—nor be able to coax one final climax from her when she thinks she has given her all. Only he can.

To that end, he reaches up and brushes a lock of hair behind her ear. It’s easier to fall into their usual routine—offering a suggestion, an invitation.

“It’s late. Shall we retire, my dear?”

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/NORMAN: they’re brothers 👍 not much else to say there but they’re cool

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[enigmaticexplorer]

I Yearn, and so I Fear - Chapter XV

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers. 

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 4.4K

14 Yelona

Kazi was tired. 

She was tired of arguments. Tired of responsibility. Tired of the conflictual, pathetic emotions roiling inside of her, like the ocean fraught with a coming storm yet unable to truly form. 

Most of all, she was tired of the guilt gnawing on her, wearing away her mind until, soon, nothing would remain of her. 

Resentment constricted her lungs and twisted her thoughts. It itched in a place she couldn’t reach, persistent and frustrating. Unignorable.  

Her emotions, meticulously maintained and carefully locked away, wanted to escape. The signs were obvious last night. 

But the problem with repressed emotions—the problem with being told since she was a little girl that emotions were bad and not to be expressed—was their tendency to erupt. Too much time locked away and they grew frustrated. 

Repressed emotions concerning Daria, outside of their arguments, were months in the making. 

Kazi knew her emotions were too volatile this morning. And yet she couldn’t bother to halt her trek out the backdoor.

Foggy gray of early dawn cooled the morning temperature. The fog, heavy and thick, haunted the jungle surrounding the house. Dew speckled fern stalks and tree leaves, splashing her bare legs as she stalked around the side of the house to Daria’s garden. 

Daria was kneeling in freshly-churned soil, planting new seedlings. Loose long sleeves and trousers protected her from the morning chill, though sweat still blotted her forehead. Hair tied back, she appeared content. Serene. 

It was the packet of seeds beside Daria—a packet similar to the one currently sitting on her nightstand—that made Kazi pause. If she hadn’t seen her own packet of seeds only a few minutes ago, she would have blamed Daria for stealing them. 

Did Wolffe gift her sister seedlings for the Harvest Festival, too?

The question contained too many possibilities she didn’t want to consider this early in the morning and after her argument with Wolffe. She reconcentrated on the object in her hand, feeling rattled and out of place. 

“I have your potion,” Kazi said.

Shoulders stiffening, Daria lifted her face, her scowl dark with umbrage. 

Green eyes devoid of their usual warmth, Daria extended a hand. Kazi stepped into the enclosed garden and handed her sister the potion. Once finished, Daria thrust the bottle back at her, not once looking in her direction. 

Usually Kazi would walk away. Shut herself in her room and seethe at Daria’s behavior. Scream at her sister in her head. Call out Daria on every single shitty thing she had done in their lifetimes.  

Instead, Kazi pocketed the potion. “Why didn’t you accept my Festival gift?” 

She was searching for a fight. Seeking out a means to release her resentment. But she didn’t care. She was tired of caring so fucking much. 

“I was trying to be a good sister,” she said. And though she wanted to sound annoyed, dismissive, her tone was far too brittle. Far too hurt. 

Refusing to even look in Kazi’s direction, Daria glowered at a spindly plant, her gloved hands fisted atop her thighs. 

“I was trying to bridge this gap between us.” Kazi folded her arms across her chest, her emotions frothing and snapping. “I’m trying every day. And you brushed me off like it meant nothing.”

Her voice broke on the last word and she pressed a palm against forehead, ordering herself not to cry. Lack of sleep, tension with Wolffe, guilt concerning Neyti were crushing her. Pressing through skin and muscles and bones, grounding her into nothing more than dust.

But it hurt. To see the contempt in her little sister. To bear the responsibility for their broken bond. To know she had hurt Daria—she had hurt her little sister. 

Kazi dug her fingernails into her biceps. “I’m trying to fix things—”  

“That is the problem,” Daria snapped. Pushing herself to her feet, she glared at Kazi. “You’re trying to bridge the gap when you don’t understand why the gap exists. It’s unhelpful and a waste of time.”

“I know why the gap exists.” She dropped her hand to her sides, fisting them tightly. “It’s existed ever since I left home. You changed then and you haven’t been the same since.”

“I have been different?”

“Yes.”

Daria stared at her incredulously. “You were different, Kazi. You have been different ever since Papa died.”

The fog seemed to thicken and the jungle quieted. It held its breath, thick leaves and elder trees listening, waiting. 

“You disappeared after Papa died,” Daria said, her voice trembling. “You were there, physically, but you weren’t really there. I tried so hard to help you—to support you and be there for you—but you shut me out. You weren’t there for me anymore.”

Kazi released a cynical breath. “I was a kid, Daria, and I was grieving. It wasn’t my responsibility to take care of you.”

“I didn’t want you to take care of me!”

Raw emotion hoarsened Daria’s voice. She stared at Kazi with such distressed anguish it was as palpable as the wetness of the fog. 

“I wanted to be with you.” Daria threw up her hands. “I wanted to sit in your room with you while you hid. I wanted to walk to the harbor with you, and visit the lighthouse with you. I only wanted to be with you. I gave you space to mourn Papa, but giving you space turned into months and then years, until I realized you no longer cared for me.”

Memories from that time swarmed the back of her mind. Kazi remembered a soft-spoken girl knocking quietly on her bedroom door, leaving dessert in the hallway, offering to visit the sailboat, asking to watch the storms. 

Years of the soft-spoken girl longing after a sister who was too numb to feel or care.

“I thought I had done something to make you hate me.” Daria’s throat bobbed and she wiped at her cheek. “We were no longer friends, and then you disappeared. You left me. I knew at that moment that what we had no longer existed. I was no longer important to you, and I accepted that.” 

You left me.

The words echoed hollowly in her head, and Kazi froze. 

How long had she feared getting close to others knowing they would eventually leave? How long had she resented Papa for dying and abandoning them?

All those years keeping others at arms-length to protect herself from abandonment, and she had abandoned her little sister. 

Mist caressed Daria’s honeyed hair, wetting her lips and eyelashes. “I still wanted you to be okay. You didn’t have friends. You shut everyone out. So I thought if you no longer wanted to spend time with me, then I would find someone who would take care of you. Because you were lonely and I didn’t want to see you so unhappy.” 

“I isolated myself for a reason.” Kazi rubbed her arm, the chill of the mist seeping into her body. “And I only have myself to blame for my lack of relationships. So you shouldn’t have felt bad for me—”

“I loved you,” Daria whispered. “I loved you more than anyone, and I wanted to see you happy.” 

“Daria—” 

Daria raised a hand to silence her. 

“I met potential suitors.” A mirthless smile twisted Daria’s face. “I vetted them based on your personality. I looked for men who were kind and respectable. Men with a good work ethic. Men spoken highly of, because you deserved the best. I knew you no longer loved me, but I thought I could find someone who would take care of you. Someone who would make you feel happy.”

“Daria.” Kazi stared at her sister incredulously. “I have always loved you.”

Her sister scoffed. “There’s no need to lie—”

“Everything I have done the past year has been for you,” she said, gesturing to the house. “When you fell ill, I returned home. When Mama became distraught, I intervened. When the healers said there was no hope, I sought medicine and help because I refused to give up on you. I am trying to start a new life for you. Everything I do is for you.”

Daria’s smile turned sad, placating. “You do that out of duty, Kazi. Not because you love me—”

“Don’t say that.” Kazi shook her head disbelievingly. “Don’t fucking say that.”

“Ever since I fell ill, I have been nothing of consequence. I’m a burden to you. I won’t be here for much longer—”

“Stop it.”

“I won’t be,” Daria insisted. “And I don’t want to leave you in this world alone because you have lost everyone and it hurts me to look at you.”

“Daria—” 

“I look at you and I no longer see the sister I admired. The sister I loved. I no longer see the Kazi who snuck around the harbors, the Kazi who spent her weekends sailing. I no longer see the Kazi who told me stories late at night because I was scared of the thunder, and the Kazi who took me out dancing every time it rained. I thought you might find that person again if you had someone in your life who could help you carry your burdens. Someone who cared for you.”

Stricken speechless, Kazi could only stare at her sister. All this time she thought Daria wanted her to marry because of tradition. Because of their upbringing. 

She should have known Daria’s personal interest was driven by something more. 

“I’m scared, Kazi.” Daria breathed a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. “I’m scared I’m going to forget those moments. I don’t want to forget when you were alive.”

A tear slid down her cheek and Kazi looked away. 

Because it had been years since she truly felt alive, and when she tried to remember its warmth and comfort, disappointment and self-hatred made themselves known. Two shadows leaching the life from her.

“I tell Neyti stories about you.” Daria regarded her with a sunken appearance, the planes of her face dull and harried. “I want her to know you. I want her to know you the way I knew you. That’s why I asked her to draw that photo of us. I wanted to show her who you truly are.”

Energy and warmth and anger dissipated from her body and Kazi sighed, her bones sagging. Wariness guarded Daria’s gaze, as if her sister expected her to react coldly. Cruelly. 

“You’ve never been a burden,” Kazi said hoarsely. “And I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” 

Daria blinked her surprise, and Kazi mentally berated herself. Had she really been so apathetic and closed-off from Daria the past years that apologizing was shocking?

“I’m sorry I…disappeared after Papa’s death.” She searched her sister’s gaze. “I’m sorry I left you without warning. I’m sorry I ignored you for years. I’m sorry I haven’t stopped to talk to you, or listen, or just be there for you. I’m sorry.”

Kazi let her hand drift to one of the spindly plants, the fuzz of the stem tickling her palm. A piece of her wanted to reach for Daria, to close the distance between them, to hold her sister’s hand one more time. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. 

“I pulled away because I couldn’t stomach the thought of disappointing you. The thought of failing you…” She shrugged, laughing hollowly. “I couldn’t bear it—I didn’t want to bear it. I pulled away, not because of anything you did, but because I didn’t want to fail you. And now this gap exists and I don’t know what to do. The thought of losing you—”

Choking on a renewed surge of emotion, Kazi closed her eyes and tilted her face to the foggy sky, breathing in through her nose. Exhaling through her mouth. 

Less than a year and a half remained before Daria passed. Her sister’s memory would start to worsen and fade in six months. So much time had been lost and so little remained.

“I dream sometimes,” Daria interrupted her thoughts and Kazi opened her eyes. Her sister raised a hand and played with a wisp of mist. “I dream of the lighthouse, of the two of us sitting up there while a storm rolls in.”

A soft smile smoothed her features and she closed her eyes, like she could envision the dream. Envision a time when the lighthouse was their safe place and reality didn’t exist, and pain and heartache and bitterness were concerns for adults. 

A time when two little girls played and laughed and dreamt of happy wonders.

“I dream of us sharing our citrus-stars, and the tales you would tell me of the dragons.” Her voice was wistful, gentle, like the whisper of a breeze. “I dream of the waves lapping at my feet, and the sand between my toes, and the warmth of the sun on my skin and the way it always reminded me of home. Sometimes I swear I can still smell the ocean.”

Daria’s eyelashes fluttered open, the green of her eyes glassy. “I hate waking up. I’m so tired. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of not talking. I’m tired of avoiding one another. I want to go back to the lighthouse and never leave.” 

Deep down, Kazi did too. But she refused to admit it.

Enshrouded by an impenetrable fog, the two sisters considered one another. 

The fracture in their relationship was overt in the ragged lines around their eyes, the honesty Kazi withheld, the way they relied on themselves for comfort rather than one another.

They would never return to their former innocence and naïve adoration. Mutual hurt and wariness kept them at bay. 

But they could start anew. Try to nurture a new dynamic. 

Kazi wanted it. She wanted it badly.

So she knelt near the freshly-churned hole Daria had dug and a moment later, her sister settled beside her, retrieving her trowel. Kazi’s hands trembled slightly. 

As a seedling required attention, patience, and effort, so too would reconciliation. It wasn’t something that would sprout overnight. It was something they would have to cherish and protect and choose. Over and over again. 

So, together, they planted the first seed.

Missing her usual swim wasn’t as harrowing as Kazi typically imagined. A quiet hour in the garden with Daria proved a necessary reprieve from her routine. Her head felt clearer, and her chest lighter.

Kazi was lost to her thoughts—thoughts of relief, subtle hope for the coming months—as she wandered into the house. She was so consumed by her musings she didn’t notice Wolffe standing beside the kitchen bar. Less than a meter separated them when she finally came to her senses and faltered to a stop.

Wolffe stood straight, his stance wide. Determination hardened his gaze.

Their argument the night before dampened her new-found relief and Kazi bit the inside of her cheek. She thought Wolffe would avoid her, again, this morning.

In hindsight, her assumption was blatantly inaccurate and disingenuous to his character. Wolffe confronted conflict in order to find a solution. He had an overbearing need to understand the intricacies of things around him and a level-headed desire to confront issues, determine their problems, and then fix them. 

When it came to Wolffe, Kazi knew she couldn’t avoid their argument. She couldn’t pretend their argument hadn’t left her reeling and resentful; she couldn’t feign nonchalance and disinterest. 

She was also aware that her avoidance tactics, especially the unconscious list of grudges she kept in the back of her mind, were an unhealthy handling of conflict. A year in therapy explained the need to admit to feelings of hurt and betrayal rather than suppress them. 

However, she had a fatal flaw: hubris. 

She couldn’t admit to being hurt. It was a weakness. A vulnerability that would enable others to take advantage of her. Or, to see how pathetic she was and to abandon her. 

Suppressing emotions and avoiding conflict were her scapegoats. They had protected her for so long. 

Wringing her hands together, Kazi scanned the kitchen, avoiding Wolffe. A knife and cutting board, both damp with water, were drying on the counter. The bowl of chocolates was half-full. An overgrown plant trailed its vines to the hardwood floor. Finally, she glanced in Wolffe’s direction.

He regarded her, his expression unreadable, and tapped two fingers on the bar. He cleared his throat. 

“I’m sorry.”

His apology surprised her, and her eyes widened marginally. 

“I…overreacted,” Wolffe said. A twinge of discomfort grimaced his features and he rolled his shoulders back. Steady, unflinching eyes sought hers. “I had…expectations I now know were inaccurate. I was wrong to take my frustrations out on you.” 

The lowness of his tone, the hesitation in his pauses and the searching depth of his gaze, alerted her to something more. Something deeper behind his words. Like a confession spoken underwater. Some of it made sense. Other pieces left her confused. 

“You were right.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “We’re nothing to each other. And I’m sorry for pushing the conversation.”

Regret dulled the vestige of her resentment, and in its wake, Kazi winced, raking a hand through her hair, wishing for the neat perfection of her braids. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she murmured, rubbing her chest. An attempt to quiet the remorse pinching her insides. “You’re not…nothing to me.”

Heat warmed her cheeks and she dropped her gaze, exhaling her frustration. She needed Wolffe to know she valued his presence in her life. She needed him to know he wasn’t nothing. 

He was…more. 

But she didn’t know how to define her feelings for him, much less explain them to him.

“I was frustrated with you,” she said. “And it came out wrong.” Her explanation still fell short—it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t. Hesitantly, she took a step toward him, searching his guarded features, silently begging for him to understand. To forgive her. “I was mad at myself for thinking you would join us. I took out my own anger on you, and I didn’t mean it. All of what I said—I didn’t mean any of it. I swear—you’re not nothing to me.” 

Brows furrowed, Wolffe observed her for a long moment. His gaze was full of calculation, and the longer he studied her, the more his underscored frustration revealed itself. The flaring of his nostrils. The scrunching of his eyes. The rigidity in his shoulders. 

He tapped his fingers against the bar. “I didn’t realize the hike meant that much to you.”

“It didn’t—”

“Don’t lie.” Wolffe took two steps toward her, close enough she could see the dark smudges beneath his eyes. “I know it did.”

“What do you want me to say? That it mattered to me?” She threw up her hands. “Because it did, Wolffe. It mattered to me. You promised, and I felt real fucking stupid getting my hopes up only for you to not show. And the worst part—the worst part is that I know the missions come first to you, that nothing else matters. So I had no right to be upset with you, and I overreacted. But you promised, and I couldn’t let that go.”

“I know what I promised.” His throat bobbed. “Does Neyti know…?”

“No.” A hint of relief relaxed his stiff posture. His arched brow demanded an explanation and Kazi shrugged. “I thought it could be a surprise, so I didn’t tell her beforehand, and I obviously didn’t tell her after.”

“The mission—”

“Always comes first,” she interrupted. “I know that, and I shouldn’t have been upset about it. I’m sorry.”

Displeasure pressed his lips together and Wolffe rubbed the back of his neck. “I chose the mission over you because I was frustrated. You wanted me there and I told you I would be. I regret going back on my promise.”

The honesty in his words made her shift uncomfortably between her feet. 

A self-deprecating smile tugged on her mouth. “After what happened with Neyti’s classmates’ parents, I was upset. I kept thinking if you had been there, then maybe things would have been different. It was easier to blame you rather than accept responsibility for my own actions.”

Wolffe stilled. “Something happened?” 

“It was nothing—”

“Ennari,” Wolffe growled. “What happened.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking.” He returned her exasperated look with an equally reproving scowl. She sighed. “One of the mom’s said something rude about Neyti. She said it loud enough that Neyti overheard.”

Just the reminder of Eris's falsely sympathetic comment irked her.

“I should have walked away the moment those women wanted to talk,” she said, scoffing at her stupidity. “I should have known nothing good would come of it. But I thought… I thought maybe if they talked with me, then their kids would be more accepting of Neyti.” She clenched her fists behind her back. “I knew it was a bad idea, but I was so fucking stupid, and Neyti overheard everything, and I didn’t protect her—”

“Kazi.”

It took her too long to discern Wolffe through the blur of her gaze, and even longer to realize she was about to cry. Gritting her teeth, she forced her eyes open. Ordered the tears away. 

Most people claimed crying was cathartic, a pleasant release of emotions. Not for her. Crying was humiliating. Draining. She hated the uncontrollable sensation of sobs wracking her spine and clawing their way from her lungs. She hated the headache it always spurned. 

Most of all, though, she hated crying in front of others. She hated knowing they could see.

“Sorry.” Wiping at her eyes, Kazi cleared her throat, ignoring the humiliated flush in her face and neck. A tear tickled her palm. She loosed a shaky breath. “Sorry, I don’t know why—”

“You’re not a failure.”

Her chuckle was strained. “I know.”

Gently, Wolffe angled her chin back, forcing her eyes to meet his. “You’re not a failure.”

“I know,” she repeated. She didn’t want him to see this side of her. To see the broken mess lurking beneath her composed exterior. 

He lowered his face to hers, and he murmured, “I’m not going to abandon you and Neyti again.”

Raw promise quieted his words and softened his features, and Kazi believed him. It was funny, and curious, how she knew he meant it—how she trusted him. Funny and curious, but also alarming.

Wolffe traced his finger along her jaw, unhurried in his approach, as if acting subconsciously. She wanted to breach the minimal distance separating their bodies. To lean into the heat of his chest, listen to his heartbeat beneath her ear, and simply rest there. To not feel so alone. Just for a moment. 

Her gaze drifted to his mouth, and as he stilled, she wondered what it would be like to turn off her mind. To damn the consequences and lose herself. Just for a moment. To learn what his mouth would feel like on hers, what it would feel like on her neck, on her breasts, between her thighs—

“Ennari.” The warning in his voice, rough and low, brought her gaze back to his.

A loud thud jerked them apart. 

Kazi glanced at the staircase where Neyti, dressed in a pink dress, was straightening from her apparent jump. Satisfied with her landing, she waved. 

“Are you ready for breakfast?” Kazi asked, grinning.

Neyti nodded.

“Before that,” Wolffe said, reaching into the pocket of his trousers and retrieving a small packet. He dropped to a knee beside Neyti. “I have this for you.”

Intrigued, Kazi leaned forward, eyeing the small object. Her eyebrows raised in recognition. Similar to the packet on her nightstand, similar to the packet outside with Daria, Wolffe had bought Neyti her own seedlings.

The gesture was so thoughtful it rendered Kazi speechless. She could only stare at Wolffe, stare at the man who was watching Neyti, subtle apprehension lining his forehead. 

Neyti accepted the packet with shrewd interest. She brought it close to her ear and shook it softly. Seeds rattled inside. Her lips parted. She lifted her gaze to Wolffe’s, a silent question in her eager face. 

A chuckle eased the tension from Wolffe, and Kazi quietly laughed, too.

“I forgot to give it to you at the Festival,” Wolffe said, his eyes darting in Kazi’s direction. “We can plant them in the garden. Is that…all right?”

Appraising the packet of seeds, Neyti traced a tiny finger along the petals etched into the exterior. A small, yet dimpled grin brightened her face and she nodded at Wolffe. His sigh of relief went unnoticed by the little girl who showed Kazi her new packet.

“I bet they’ll be beautiful once they bloom,” Kazi said, fixing the ruffles on the sleeves of Neyti’s dress. “Maybe Mr. Wolffe will show you after breakfast—”

A fervent shake of her head and Neyti blinked wide, pleading eyes at her. Kazi raised an unimpressed eyebrow. She was about to lecture on the importance of breakfast but Neyti shifted her pleading gaze to Wolffe. 

Expecting Wolffe to refuse Neyti’s request, his hesitation shocked Kazi. He looked from Neyti to her, rubbing the back of his neck, and then pushed himself to his feet, nudging Kazi with his elbow.  

She sighed. “Fine. But don’t stay out too long.”

Neyti grinned wider and clapped her hands. 

Just as Kazi was turning toward the kitchen and Wolffe was making his way to the sunroom, she watched a tiny hand reach for a larger one. Wolffe stumbled, his spine stiffening and eyes narrowing. Cautiously, he regarded the hand in his. Neyti, oblivious to his hesitant assessment, shook her packet of seeds, tugging Wolffe forward.

Slowly, Wolffe closed his fingers around Neyti’s, his hand engulfing hers. The two wandered through the sunroom and out the backdoor. 

From the sunroom windows, Kazi watched them together, something warm and wistful blooming inside her. It poked through her heart and tugged. Gentle yet demanding. 

Frowning at the strange sensation, she massaged her chest. It was a feeling she attributed to her childhood.

A desire for the security and laughter and adventure of her youth.

Yearning. 

But it was no longer confined to the past. 

Like an extended hand grasping another in the midst of uncertainty, like fingers intertwining in search of connection and comfort, yearning squeezed her heart. 

Yearning for—

Oh.

Oh.

Masterlist | Chapter 14 | A Muse

A/N: Artwork of Kazi and Daria by the lovely @eyecandyeoz!

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

The movie jawbreaker this is literally can be example of inspiration for Stella character. Courtney Shane she accidentally kill one of her friend Liz Purr in a prank, instead of turning herself she make up lie. One of her follower marcie fox help her covering up her crime sa someone else fault not her. Julie really against but unfortunately she lost vote so she have no choice but to help covering up her crime. Courtney make impressing lie so she pretended to be Liz mother claiming she was sick so she can't come to school. One of the people who saw the dead body of Liz is fern mayo. She knew fern is an outcast not even fellow outcast want to hangout with her, so she offer to turn her into popular girl just like them. She knew how to use society fears a beautiful and sweet girl is being raped by a stranger. So she set up a man she have intercourse with him then use the sperm to blame him for Liz death, she lied to the detective about how Liz have this sexual craving having sex with older man. With that lie the detective think the reason she was so hesitated that she didn't want to reveal Liz dark secret. She even acted casual hell some serial killer they act so casual after killing someone. When Fern get makeover started to get cocky Courtney use her secret that she wasn't 'vylette' she was fern mayo all along so that now she is an outcast again. So why it's hard to make Stella smart

Yeah.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Has To Be Enough (Audrey Tindall x reader)

It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her.

Trigger Warning: Anxiety, slight panic attack, depressive themes

A/N: enjoy!!

————————————————————————

It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her.

Guilt and trauma made her into a new person almost. She was still the same Audrey you knew and loved, but she wouldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t allow you to help. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise - she dealt with all her disappointment by shutting the world out, but that never included you. You should have known something would jolt the perfect fantasy you had built around yourselves. But, you wouldn’t give up on her.

She had been ignoring your calls for days until you settled for sending her supportive messages every morning and night, having the thought that maybe you were overwhelming her. She wasn’t strong enough yet to reach over and grab her phone to call you. She wasn’t only afraid you would ask too many questions, but also afraid you wouldn’t want to give her the time of day after her ignoring you. Audrey wanted desperately for you to come knocking at her door, wanting nothing more than drown her sorrows and have you tuck her in at night. She wanted to be intoxicated enough to talk, to let it out without reliving it, to confess what’s been eating at her for the last week and a half. But she couldn’t. You weren’t going to come knocking and she wasn’t drunk enough to let you in. She was only drunk enough to fall back down into a self-depreciating spiral, only deepened by her head hidden in the toilet.

Her phone beeped again from beside her, bringing her back to the current moment. Audrey groaned and the cool tile pressed into her knees enough to bruise. At least she was grounded. She had had her phone on her everyday, not being able to help herself from scrolling through every article she was in. She was still Audrey Tindal, after all. She just couldn’t separate herself from the sad stories plastered all over the news. She couldn’t let anyone see her so desperate again, not even you. She only scanned your messages when they came in, too focused on calming herself most of the time. You couldn’t blame her for not replying or reaching out- you had seen the stories and the found footage released. It was horrifying just to watch and you couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering the mere memory would bring Audrey. All you can hope is that she would accept your reaching hand, seeing it as a calming gesture rather than a pitied one. But, Audrey wasn’t worried about pity, she didn’t care for once. She was too busy stuck in those moments that only paused with a fleeting thought of calling you for comfort that was quickly followed by more violent thoughts.

Audrey groaned over the toilet bowl again lifting her head and reaching for her phone. She was close to smashing it if one more ignorant article got posted. It wasn’t an article. On her phone screen flashed your nightly message to her, expressing your concern and blah blah blah. She didn’t mean to ignore what you were saying, her head was just too full with the moment she was tied up and the ache of her gums was still present. Almost as if she wasn’t meant to forgot any of it, not a second. For a moment, she felt like a fern growing towards the sunlight. She was yearning for a moment but it quickly faded as the message dinged again on her home screen , feeling like a screech inside her skull. She dropped her phone back on the floor next to her and leaned her head onto the toilet, too busy trying not to throw up to care about germs.

You had never felt such fear when another week passed and no word for Audrey. All thoughts of support left your mind as you begin to send more worried texts, all but begging her to answer. When no word came the next night, you grew all caution to the wind and started for Audrey house. It felt invasive to show up unannounced and you were about to warn her of your plans , worried she wasn’t even checking her phone. As you picked up your phone to text, her name flashed across your screen. You had never moved as fast as you answered her call.

“Hello? Audrey?” You questioned when she didn’t speak, only her soft breathing coming through the phone. A few more seconds of silence passed before she spoke. Your patience paying off.

“Can you come over?” Was all she said, her voice rough and watery. You had never been more happy to hear her voice, disregarding any nagging questions in turn for your unquestionable support. Quiet rustling following her ask.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You barely heard her quiet reply before she hung up the phone.

Arriving at her door, you foregone knocking and entered her house - having known where the spare key hide. You didn’t feel much guilt over it as she knew you were coming. And you were almost certain she hadn’t left her bed.

Grabbing a glass of water you made your way to her room, this time knocking softly against the door paneling. She turned her head over her shoulder, locking eyes with you before turning back over. You remained quiet and set the glass for later, sitting on the bed rubbing ear arms lightly. For a moment she tensed, The touch almost burning, before she relaxed and let out a deep sigh. You took that as a sign that she was alright for a moment. That was before she turned to face you, tears making rivers down her flushed cheeks. She was trying hard enough not to cry that her cracked lips curled downward with the effort. You spook you head with furrowed brows and she nodded , a silent prayer for a moment. There was no rain outside but the sound of your own heartbeat matched it in your ears.

“You don’t need to talk,” you promised. The moon shone through the window laughing, the gray light entering the room through the gray curtains, nearly appearing blue. Or maybe that was just your mind. The sheets had ridden up at the edges and left the bed a crumbled mess. You stopped you ministrations, knowing the overwhelming feeling of suffocation she must be feeling suddenly surrounded by another person. The tension in your body rising as you refused to let your arms reach back out. She wasn’t reaching any more, but you’d be there when she could.

“I’m afraid.” She spoke a few moments later, her voice raspy from not using it. What for? She didn’t know. Maybe afraid she’d never get rid of the suffocation she felt when she thought back to Roanoke. Maybe afraid that everything would change too much, or maybe that it already had and she didn’t want this routine to keep up. Or maybe she was afraid she’d a mistake inviting you over. She didn’t know how to deal with this and maybe she knew you didn’t either, and that was all she desperately hoped for when she called you. Something to change or something to stay the same. Can’t she have both? Does she have to choose? The thought makes her clench her teeth as anger flooded her veins, red hot. She didn’t want you here and she didn’t need you here. She could suffer alone just as well as she could with you around. And the thought of your being the same only angered her more. Nothing had changed but everything had for her. It wasn’t fair and she wanted to make sure you knew that.

“”No one else has to feel this and I hate you . I hate you so much right now and i don’t know how to explain it. Just- hate.” Her words only slightly surprised you, you hated yourself a little too for not being understanding enough to help.

“You don’t mean that.” You clarified for her and that’s all it took for the dam to break. loud sobs wrecked the already distressed room. You knew now not to touch her and you respected that. She needed something to believe

“I hate you, I hate-“ she choked through sobs, her fist hitting the bed. It wasn’t about you anymore. It wasn’t about her anymore. She didn’t know what it was about anymore. She was angry and she was sad and she was being smothered by the blanket on top of her. She was breathing and it was too much at the moment, it felt freezing cold against the back of her throat- pins and needles. She was panicking but she didn’t know it anymore. Her back hurt, from lying so long or the short breathes she didn’t know. She didnt know anything anymore.

“Hey, hey. Audrey, look at me.” You commanded, knowing the harsh tone you’d taken would be the only way she would listen. She shook her head and kicked the covers off with her feet, sitting up and curling into a ball on the bed.

“Audrey, look. At. Me.” The image of you almost hurt her raw eyes, the light of the moon shining too bright behind you.

“You are here, in your room, right now. That’s it.” Your voice took on a softer note no that you had her attention.

“No worry here, no expectations, just your room” she needed space and you were going to build it for her, brick by brick if you had to. You started to list the things inside her room, her eyes following after each item as she looked around her room.

“Your sheets are coming up,” you finally said as she calmed a bit, her breathe still heavy. She looked at her sheets and shrugged. Your request for her to stand was obeyed d you searched her closet for new ones as she stood in the door, watching. You finally found some in a drawer and undressed her bed before putting them on, smoothing the creases with your hands before a making the bed and inviting her to lay onto the it before turning the fan on. She was hot with anger or choking up on her sadness. She didn’t know anymore. But she knew her room and she knew you. And that would have to be enough. Her chest still felt heavy, yet her heart was missing. It would have to be enough.

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A/N: hope you enjoyed!

[daydream-cement]

Violet and Rose Ch. 24

Larissa Weems x OC (Fern Rogers)

“And you’re mad at me?” Larissa was seated upright in bed as she spoke to you. Her reading glasses were perched on the edge of her nose and a book rested in her lap. She was watching as you prepared for bed.

You weren’t exactly mad at her, but the entire situation. Yes, it was sweet that somehow she is helping you wield your powers while they seem to be nonfunctional, but you weren’t interested in needing help. She couldn’t be there with you every second of the day to help you grow the simplest of things. You need your powers to be effective in your career.

“I’m not mad at you.” You pulled on a nightshirt that had at one point been oversized, but now fit more snugly than you would have liked due to your growing belly. Even your tone made it sound like you were angry with her. You blamed it all on the hormones. One second you were up and the next you were down.

“You sound like you are mad at me.” Larissa didn’t seem to be particularly affected by your mood, instead her tone was very level and calm.

“Nothing makes sense. The forest is dying. Oh wait, no it isn’t. Hey, Fern, your powers don’t work. Wait, yes they do. Only with your wife’s help though. It doesn’t even make any sense.” You began rambling, just trying to get all of your thoughts out in front of you so you could begin sorting through them all. At the end of the way, you wanted to grow a couple of plants in peace. Was that too much to ask for? You had even begun replaying the timeline in your head, trying to remember when you used your powers last, “I used my powers on the way to Wisconsin, while we were in Wisconsin, and even in the UK when we first arrived. Then somehow, we fight, and I don’t have them anymore. Is it because of us? Is it because of the babies? I have no clue.”

“Wife?” Larissa couldn’t hide her smile.

“That’s all you heard? From all of that?” You move to throw your dirty clothes in the hamper before disappearing into the bathroom.

“I’m listening!” Larissa folded her book closed and removed her glasses, setting them both on her nightstand, “Perhaps we can consult with some books on outcast pregnancy or something?”

“Should I call Dr. Feng? She might know something.” You glance at her as you begin your nightly routine of washing your face and brushing your teeth.

“We can give her a call in the morning if that makes you feel better. I wonder if it’s a shapeshifter baby thing or a plant manipulator pregnancy thing?” Larissa began to ponder out loud, her fingers toying with the fabric of the bedspread, “We could call our mothers to see what their pregnancies are like? Maybe something happened to my mother’s powers when she was pregnant with me?”

You listened to Larissa from the bathroom doorway while she spoke as you brushed your teeth. You spat into the sink before adding your two cents, “Whatever it is, I want it figured out immediately.”

You wiped your mouth and rinsed your toothbrush, leaving the brush behind in the holder near Larissa’s. Circling the bed, you crawl into your side on the right, immediately pulling the covers to your chin, staring up at Larissa from your place on the pillow. Larissa turns off her bedside lamp, turning the room dark, and shifts down into the blankets so she can bring herself closer to you. Her fingers reach out in the darkness of the room, stroking your cheek gently, “We will figure this out together, Fern.”

You only hum in response, thoughts drifting to the potentially disastrous botany classes you are bound to have without being able to use your powers. Larissa shifts closer, trying to interrupt your thoughts. Her arms came around you to pull you close, wanting to feel your body against hers. Larissa’s hands teased at your hair, twisting your blond locks around her long fingers, gently combing out the knots. As she held and doted after you, Larissa idly spoke to you, “I am deliriously in love with you. We will figure all of this out, honey. Whatever you need, I will help you with it…”

“Thank you…” You mumble, happy to be babied by her for a little bit.

A few moments passed by and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep, the soothing rise and fall of Larissa’s chest was always one of the most comforting sensations to you. You were pulled out of sleep by Larissa asking a final question, “So you said wife, correct?”

—

You were grading some of the pre-course assessments for your introductory class when Larissa brought you lunch from the little diner on Main St. She delivered it with a kiss on your forehead, her fingers wiping away the lipstick afterwards. Larissa had apparently already spoken to both of your mothers and Dr. Feng between her meetings this morning. As she filled you in on the details of her conversations, you dug around the sandwich box, seeing a sandwich, chips, fruit and a little cookie, “When I talked to Dr. Feng, she said it was perfectly normal for outcast mothers to have fluctuations in their abilities during pregnancies. Between hormones shifting and possible exhaustion, your powers may be momentarily acting up.”

You nodded in understanding, taking a bite of the turkey sandwich without speaking and allowed her to continue on with her findings, “My mother said being pregnant me was the worst thing she has ever experienced and she thanks God everyday that I am not a complete disappointment.”

“Oh, so she was in a pleasant mood today?” You had to offer her a bit of a joke in response, setting your sandwich to the side and picking up a couple chips to pop into your mouth next.

Larissa plucked a couple of your chips from the bag, speaking before she ate them, “Yes, kinder than normal actually.”

“How sweet.” You return to your sandwich, sharing a smile with Larissa before digging back into your food.

Larissa leaned forward in her chair, excited to tell you the phone call with your mother, “Your mother has the most helpful information in my opinion. She said she was absolutely exhausted when she was pregnant with you. She said she was out of work almost the entire time she was pregnant with your grandmother caring for her. I wonder if you are pregnant with a baby who shares your powers and that's why you are struggling to use them?”

“Definitely a possibility. If that’s true, I’ll be a fairly useless teacher to you until next year. Even at that I don’t know if I’ll be of much use after they are born either.” The words seemed to tumble from your mouth, not quite understanding the gravity of your self-deprecation until you saw the look Larissa was giving you.

“Useless? Do you really think we hired you just for your outcast abilities?” Larissa’s voice was gentle, her fingers reaching out to brush a few stray hairs from your face, “Fern, you are more than qualified to teach students about plant science. I won’t have you talking yourself down just due to the absence of powers.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” You wave a hand and take another bite, ignoring her affirming words. Larissa took a hold of your wrist, pulling your hand closer to steal a large bite of the sandwich. This drew a shocked reaction from you, “What are you doing?”

“Keep talking like that about yourself and I’ll steal the whole thing.” Larissa stood from her chair, reaching into the sandwich box, popping a strawberry into her mouth and then snapping the cookie in half, taking half into her hand. You glared up at her, reaching out to steal the food back, but she was far taller with much longer arms.

Now that she was towering over you, you became distracted by a whole different type of hunger. She was wearing one of your favorite outfits today. You found it hard to describe as most of her outfits were of the same color palette, but it was a beautiful beige color that just seemed to fit every curve just right. As you stared, Larissa pushed the bit of cookie into her mouth, winking at you. Larissa noticed the way your eyes lingered around her hips and took a step back before you could reach out and pull her close, “Oh no you don’t. It is the middle of a school day, no less.”

You let out a laugh, knowing that she was practically reading your mind, “I didn’t say a word!”

“I haven’t a clue at how your mind works anymore. One moment you are hungry, then self-deprecating, then…” She paused for a moment, checking to see if there could be any students around, her final word was spoken with a hushed tone, “…horny.”

“An astute observation.” Your response was sarcastic as you shifted your desk chair forward, putting a knee between Larissa’s and your hands came to rest on her hips. She didn’t move away this time, rather she seemed to lean into your touch. You gazed up at her, mesmerized once again by her beauty. Would this become a regular occurrence throughout your pregnancy or is this just a fact of life dating Larissa Weems?

Her hands gently came to rest on your cheeks, her eyes glancing up quickly to the clock on the back wall, checking the time before she engaged in anything with you. With seven minutes until your next class, Larissa gave herself the opportunity to lean down and press a kiss to the top of your head, her words coming softly, “I will see you at home… Perhaps we can have a little more fun then.”

You couldn’t hide your look of disappointment when she moved away from you, wishing you could have ended the workday early just to head home with Larissa and spend the rest of the day wrapped up with her. You would simply just have to wait. Perhaps you could send her a few texts later during the last few hours of the work day just to mess with her.

“I’m expecting you to live up to that promise.” You laugh, watching her gather her things in one hand and take one step closer, taking your face in her free hand and pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Anything you wish.”

Link to Chapter 25

[teadreamsims]

Once the shower was over (cut short, more like) and all the guests had left, Fern worked up the courage to head back downstairs and face her husband. Her husband who looked ready to start shouting again.

"Are you happy now?" he asked, spitting the words like venom dripping from his tongue. "Congratulations, you ruined the baby shower. Are you satisfied?"

She forced herself not to start yelling again, instead opting for a monotonous, dry tone. "Ah, yes. You made out with your floozy in front of everyone and humiliated me in front of all our friends and family because of it, but I'm the one who ruined the baby shower."

He tutted. "You're being dramatic."

"So you think the stunt you and Kacie just pulled in front of our loved ones was completely fine, do you? Sorry, I didn't realise betrayal was a normal and expected part of settling down and marriage. I must have missed that part growing up." Fern's expression didn't once show the extent of how hurt she was by her husband. She didn't know how she was even able to look at him right now, let alone talk to him.

"Stop acting like you didn't know something was going on for the past few months," Misael scoffed. "You allowed it to continue on for as long as it has."

"Oh, did I now?" Fern raised a brow at him.

"Tell me," she continued, "did you ever have any intention of telling me? Of trying to fix our marriage? You threw yourself into work, reassured me that nothing was going on any time I asked if you were okay or what you'd been up to, got me pregnant and decided that you were going to keep seeing your ex behind my back even while I'm carrying your children. Your choice is not my fault, so don't you dare blame your actions on me. I didn't tell you to go out there and cheat on me with your high school ex girlfriend that's been desperate to replace me from the moment we got together."

"Come on, Fern, that's not fair. It's not like that," Misael replied, less angry and more desperate.

"No?" She gestured to the room they were stood in. "Take a look around you. Today was supposed to be a happy day that was about us and our babies. And what were you doing? You were getting it on with her in this very dining room where any one of us could have walked in without warning. Did you seriously think nothing would come of that?"

"You're the one who made it about Kacie with your rampage. At least she had the decency not to start fights and make an embarrassment of herself."

With that, Fern's resolve hardened. "If I'm such an embarrassment for you, you know where the door is. I won't stand here and allow you to make a mockery of me or our marriage any longer."

"What? No, Fern, please-"

"We're done here."

[glazedsnail]

Fanfic closing soon

So there we are. That's the second to last part. AT LAST.

I'm usually way ahead before I post a part but this time the last part is all in my head I can't wait to put it on paper. And I'll try my best to post it tomorrow by the latest cause after that I'm away for a few days. AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE ANYONE ON THAT.

You'll see why

Misery Loved Company

ShanexOCFarmer (♀️) 18+ - Mention of suicidal ideation/mention of csa/substance misuse

Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9

Also, finally, this is what Fern looks like.

I'm VERY bad at description and I WILL blame 1st person writing which I CHOSE to write in.

She's tired ya'll. but she cute.

I used the super handy tool by Jaz and Poltergeister linked here ♥ Because I tried to draw her myself and uh, yeah, no, i'll stick to writing. That's how bad my drawing is.

The heavy rain of the afternoon falling on the warm air left the night with a muggy lovechild enveloping the valley.

In his room, Shane blames the weather for his inability to fall asleep. Cover on, cover off. One leg out, two legs. He tosses, turns, grunting and grumbling.

Dinner was a disaster. Marnie wanted nothing to do with him, and so did he. Tension could probably be felt from the mountain top. Marnie was in the wrong. Wasn’t she? He turns.

She cannot possibly believe that Fern would have destroyed him, his effort, his “progress”. She knows herself how that odd new farmer helped with the singular little push to the right direction. So what if she wanted more. He faces the wall. So what if he wanted more. He groans. Their last conversation was a fight. She collapsed in the hospital parking lot and was immediately treated for severe dehydration. He saw her then weakened dark eyes fill with tears as she asked him to leave. He had all the intentions to, he thinks. But not before he knew she was safe. He turns to the messy room. The TV is still on, its crackling noise filling the room. It’s familiar. Comfortable. Did she even make it back to the farm? And what truly happened with this story of “glass shattered in anger”? What even are his feelings for her anyway? A long groan. He buries his face in his hands and sits up. There’s no point fighting it. Leaving the statically singing TV, he heads to the kitchen and walks straight to the adjacent chicken coop. None of the chickens are bothered by the weather, or the rough looking tired half naked man who just walked in. Most are sleeping peacefully, snoring soft “bock” into their wings. Others seem to be snuggling, or walking around in that peculiar chicken gait…

Shane leans against the wall where he had proudly hung his “Fresh Eggs” sign. He slowly slides down to the floor. Immediately, a white chicken runs towards him and jumps on his lap, clucking enthusiastically. 

‘Hey Charlie.’ He whispers, stroking the chicken’s neck. “In another life, I could see myself becoming a chicken farmer” he repeats to himself.

‘I really fucked up, didn’t I?’

Charlie lifts her head to his voice.

‘I didn’t know how to handle it. All this. It was somehow easier when I didn’t have any plan, something to look forward to. I let my guard down, I let her in.’

‘Cluck’

‘Fern’

‘Cluck?’

‘You’ve met Fern, c’mon.’ Shane sighs, shuffling in place ‘Y’know, when she first moved in the old farm I gave her two weeks at most. At her age, renovating an old broken down farm, make it viable again.’

‘Cluck’

‘I didn’t say she looked old. Lewis had told us she was the old neighbour’s granddaughter, we just did the maths. Thirty’s old.’

‘Cluck’

‘It is.’ He moves his shoulder, already feeling stiff. ‘No one can just start a new life like that. But she did, and I was jealous of her. I still can’t wrap my head around why she was so… insistent. Why would anyone want to know me? I get it’s a small town and she probably wanted to befriend everybody but… I’m trash.’

‘Cluck’

‘Yeah you would say that, but that’s only because I feed you.’ 

He starts to truly feel the hard floor on his buttocks, his lower back seizing in a small spasm.

‘Fuck’s sake’ he whispers. ‘Falling into pieces over here.’

He sighs, looks at the wall in front of him.

He broke down many walls in his life, on his own. He never needed help, never asked for help, letting himself fight alone for so long. It was working. Barely. And she came in, told him he could rest, let his bleeding knuckles fall to his sides and stop, when he didn’t even see her bandaged hands.

‘Do you think damaged attracts damaged? That we could have made each other actually worse? She went through hell and was willing to march back in to get me out of it with a kick in the ass.’

‘Cluck’

‘Butt’

He lets his heavy head fall against the wall. On the ceiling, a spider is slowly wrapping its catch, dancing with the breeze on its intricate trap. He sighs.

‘I think I love her’

‘Shane?’

The door slowly creaks, letting Marnie walk in, wrapped in her nightgown, messy hair easily doubling the size of her head. 

‘You couldn’t sleep either?’ She asks in a low voice. He shakes his head looking up at her. ‘I’m sorry for today, Shane. I realised I’ve never actually said how…how proud I am of you.’

‘That’s ok’ he exhales. ‘I probably wouldn’t have believed you anyway.’

‘Be that as it may, I AM proud of you, Shane. You’ve made progress I had abandoned all hope of seeing. And, I was happy to see you and Fern together…But’

She leans from one foot to the other, slowly shifting weight, looking at nothing at the back of the coop.

Shane raises an eyebrow.

‘But?’

She sighs, and asks him to come into the kitchen. He puts Charlie safely back on the ground and stands up in a grunt. In the kitchen, Marnie had laid out two cups and was busy getting water ready.

‘Have a seat.’

Shane stretches, groaning at his aching muscles and symphony of bones cracking.

‘It’s a bit early for coffee isn’t it?’ He asks.

‘It’s a tisane. Fern… Fern gifted it to me when I mentioned I was struggling to fall asleep. She makes it herself.’

‘Very thoughtful.’

She slowly pours the hot mixture into Shane’s cup. Immediately he is gently wrapped by the soothing scent of lavender, and the warm comforting notes of orange peel. It’s like he’s in her arms again.

Marnie looks down at her cup, silently blowing the smoke away. She gulps several times, as if ready to start talking, but never uttering a word. Her eyes are steadily moving. She’s looking for the right words.

She inhales deeply.

‘I am only looking out for you, doing what’s best for you.’ She starts, fidgeting on her cup. Shane is carefully sipping on his infusion, wincing at the, frankly, unpleasant taste. ‘Like I said, I was happy to see you and Fern, laughing, working together, even blushing like teenagers. Then you came back from that date. What was it again, four, five in the morning? Soaked by the rain and in a state of panic! And your signature evasiveness. Even had that smell of alcohol on you but, I knew you were sober.’

Shane scoffs.

‘Then why did you go off on me for drinking.’

‘Because! You don’t nee…’ she sighs ‘this is not the point just now Shane ok? I remember the panic in your eyes!’

‘Yeah I…I sorta figured out why I was panicking.’

‘Well, I talked to Lewis about it.’

‘What?’

‘I was scared, I wanted some advice. After all, Fern was still…very much a stranger to me.’

‘And you went to LEWIS?’

‘Not by choice really. But..’ She’s having a hard time proceeding.

‘But?’ Shane is tapping his fingers on the warm cup, impatient.

‘I voiced my concerns to him, there. So he told me he had received a letter from Fern’s family, her uncle, I think. A month before everything was settled with the farm. He was contesting the deed of the land, citing some sort of “”guardianship”. There indeed was a guardianship in place but it had been overruled years before after it had become evident he was not a…good guardian.’

‘How do you know all that? Where are you going with this?’

‘Lewis had to make sure he knew who he was talking to. Obviously learning all that he sent a letter back saying he would have nothing to do with him.’

‘Sounds about right for Lewis, instead of fucking ignoring the guy…’

‘He wrote back once Fern had moved in’ Marnie continues, ignoring Shane’s snarky comment. ‘He was saying how Fern wasn’t stable, how she wasn’t fit for living in a community, and how she had tried to…to kill herself.’

‘...And?’

‘You knew?’

‘Well, I, yes. It came up. Nothing about her uncle being a creepy weirdo though. Wh…What did you do?’

‘When Lewis showed me the letters I couldn’t believe it. I mean, she looked so full of life, so proper, so adapted.’

‘What does a depressed person look like to you, Marnie?’ Shane snaps.

‘Shane, please. I had to be sure. I was worried about you. What she could do to you.’

‘Do to me?’ he repeats, flummoxed.

‘We…Oh Shane please remember I did this for you.’

‘What did you do?!’

‘We went into Harvey’s clinic and looked through her medical records.’

‘What?!’ Shane screams, standing up. ‘What possessed you to do this?! Does Harvey know?’

‘Keep your voice down, Jas is sleeping.’

‘Marnie, wh…I’m…Shit… What made you think this was a good idea?’

‘I did it for you.’

‘Nobody asked you to.’

‘She could have been a very bad influence.’

Shane starts pacing in the room, trying to understand, taking it all in at once. He slowly comes to a stop. ‘Oh Marnie no…N-no…Don’t tell me you went to see her and actually tell her to leave me alone?’

His hand falls on his mouth as he realises. All the times Fern mentioned Marnie. Moreover, how Fern wanting Harvey to keep them a secret was to hide it from her, not because Fern was ashamed of “them”. Shane takes a step back, almost clutching his chest, his breathing becoming increasingly shallow, eyes wide open under scrunched up eyebrows.

‘It was for your own good, Shane.’

‘Was it, Marnie? Was it really? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Fuck I need to go see her.’

He bolts toward the door without thinking. 

‘Shane for the love of Yoba look at yourself. Sit down. Sit down! Breathe deeply, please.’

She manages to block him and sits him down. He buries his bewildered face in his hands, struggling to find an adequate rhythm to his breathing. ‘Did she end up at the clinic because of you?’ He asks, muffled by his hands.

‘I thought… I thought once you saw how unstable she was you’d just let her go.’

Shane lifts his head in disbelief.

‘You knew it was an accident and let us all believe she did it to herself?’

‘Well, technically’

‘Marnie!’ he slams his fist on the table, making her jump. But she stands her ground. ‘I can’t believe you and Lewis chose to believe a rotten member of her family instead of seeing her with your own eyes. Since when do you care so much about somebody’s past?’

‘It was to protect you.’

‘From what? How would you react if you learned someone had done research on me to see if I’m “suitable”? To find any black spot in my history? This is fucked up!’

She stays silent, looking down at her thick slippers. She can’t answer, she knows she is in the wrong. The only explanation she’s got for her behaviour is truly from care for her nephew she almost lost.

‘I’m sorry.’ She ends up saying. She stands behind Shane, ashamed. 

His hands run back and forth in his hair, speechless, lost. Millions of thoughts are racing in his mind, the past days disappearing into a blurry mess. His own stupid panic, abandoning her in the coop after being so close to her, Marnie’s revolting and insulting visit.

And yet, she kept laughing, lost herself in his arms, tried despite everything. She had accepted him for him from day one and had worked her way slowly to the rotten core. And she was still willing to…Love him? 

He shakes his head, why would anyone subject themselves to this? He can’t be worth the effort,  he is not worth the effort. Not him. That’s what’s wrong with her. 

‘Fuck’s sake.’ He says, falling in his open hands.

Marnie sheepishly put her hands on his shoulders. Her aching heart beats rapidly at the vision of the broken man that is her nephew. All her life she thought she would never be the one to ever beat his already bruised existence. With no children of her own, no spouse, her found family is all she has, and all she would and want to care for. This pushed her to hurt the man she saw growing through too many hardships and heartaches.

And this one was her own fault.

‘I’m sorry, Shane.’

‘I know.’ He answers in a groan, not removing his hands off his shaking hands. ‘My intention were’

‘I know’ He cuts again. ‘I know, Marnie.’

‘I was scared, I do not want to lose you.’

She sits on the chair next to him. Shane lifts his exhausted face, deeply inhales, and turns to his aunt. She’s distraught. Her usually warm and friendly features are covered in tears.

‘How do you think I felt when I learned you had been brought to Harvey by Fern? That she had found you on the edge of the cliff, drunk out of your mind. That Harvey wanted to send you for psychological help. And that no one, nobody, at all, tried to contact me?’

Tears are rolling on her cheeks like two overflowing torrents.

‘You are more to me than the nephew working on my ranch every odd summer, Shane. I’ve always felt so helpless, so useless. This time, this only time, I wanted to take the lead, I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to finally help you.’

She bursts into tears. Shane realises the weight he’s been putting on her aunt had finally crushed her, the weights he had barely any idea he was stacking on her every damn year. ‘Aunt Marnie,’ he starts, not knowing what to do. ‘I-I’m sorry.’

‘No’ she tries to compose herself, stopping her tears. ‘No, Shane. It was incredibly wrong to do that to you, to Fern.’

‘Marnie, you’ve done so much for me. For me and for Jas. I’m hardly, ever, grateful enough. I take you for granted, and I’ve hurt you so many times.’ Silence falls, punctuated by the buzzing of the old fridge. 

‘Thank you, Marnie. For everything.’ Shane continues, looking down at his feet.

He hears the shuffling of her nightgown as she stands up and slowly wraps her arms around him. He hesitates, at first, but slowly embraces her.

She lets go first and exhales, a smile stretching timidly on her face.

‘What do you say we both go back to bed, and tomorrow, you head to Fern’s.’

‘If she ever wants to see me again.’ He replies. He did leave her at the hospital in Zuzu city after their fight, after all. At her request.

‘I’m sure she will, Shane.’

Mornings feel like a hangover when you have to rise with the chickens and barely spend your nights sleeping. Shane has been sitting up on his bed for the past hour, looking at the clock. Dreading the passing time, equally impatiently waiting for the alarm to go off. 

Thoughts of what he would say to Fern kept him frantically awake. What would she say, how would she react. How her lips pressed on his skin again would feel. These did not help his racing heart slow down.

Should she want him back.

He decides to beat the clock and finally get out of his bed and maybe prepare breakfast, brew some coffee. Something to occupy his mind, other than Fern. Other than the realisation that he, despite all, fell in love with her. 

He groans. Love. At his age. After everything. What a joke. And still. He can’t deny it any longer.

The kitchen is still in the darkness, sun barely in the sky and covered by a thin grey coat. Everyone else in the house is still asleep. If he takes care of breakfast for everyone that would give his aunt more time to rest. Then he’ll feed the chicken, and all the ranch residents. 

Shane braces himself, and opens the fridge, ready to tackle the day. 

A knock on the door. It’s much too early for visitors. Shane ignores it and grabs the pack of eggs. They knock again. Fine.

‘Oh, Shane. Good morning. You’re up early.’

Mayor Lewis' smiles disappeared quickly once the door opened. Shane groans.

‘What do you want?’

‘Is your aunt available?’

‘She’s sleeping.’

‘Oh. Well. I suppose you can help too. I need you and your aunt to take these.’

From the side of the porch, Lewis pulls a caged chicken, sleeping peacefully.

‘W-what’s that?’

‘Those are, ah, were, Fern’s chickens. There are three there, and I suppose you’ll take back in the sheep as well. They’re still at the farm. Shane? Oh de…Be more careful, my foot's covered in eggs!’

No sounds are reaching Shane’s ears. His vision is reduced to a slowly darkening tunnel. He heard wrong. He must have heard wrong. He swallows painfully.

‘Where did you say those were from again?’

Lewis raises an eyebrow.

‘I’ll come back when your aunt is up.’ He clears his throat and tuts. ‘Bit too early to drink, don't you think?’

Shane inhales sharply. He grabs the mayor by the collar and pins him against the wooden wall.

‘Shane!’ He yelps.

Marnie appears behind the open door.

‘Dear Yoba what is this mess! Shane! Shane for the love of Yoba, release him this instant!’ 

She throws herself at her nephew, he lets the mayor go and fails to take a deep breath. His vision blurs instantly, and he almost falls, clutching his chest. He helps himself up against the wall as Marnie lifts his face up to her. 

‘What did you do?’ She throws at Lewis.

‘N-nothing! I just came here to hand over Fern’s chickens.’

‘Fern’s chickens?’ she stutters, eyes wide open. ‘W-why? What happened? Is it her injury? Is she.. Is she…’

Marnie barely manages to voice what Shane isn’t able to articulate at all.

‘No! No! She’s fine!’ A small breath of relief. ‘But she’s not coming back.’

[links-in-time]

Links in Time - Part 18

I feel like this is a little breather chapter for the three girls. No angst, just fluff and a little flirting, because why not?!

---------------------------------------------------

When Maari returned to the throne room Melyn had gone. Riju and Zedla were discussing her interrogation, but their conversation came to a halt as Maari approached.

"Are you alright Maari? You look a little ill," Zelda observed.

"I suppose I'm as well as can be expected. I never thought my reunion with my mother would be anything like this," she replied.

"I can't pretend to know how you're feeling Maari, but we both feel for you. And we're here for anything you need," Riju said kindly.

"Thank you, I'm not sure I could handle this alone." Maari let out a long sigh. "I suppose I should go and find my father and Karu. They should know mother is alive and where she is."

"Don't worry about that now," Zelda urged. "If you like I can send some soldiers to find them and deliver the news? You don't have to go yourself."

"Thank you Zelda, but no. I should be the one to tell them."

"If everyone had one of those clever devices you have Zel, sending messages wouldn't be a problem," Riju remarked, eyeing the Purah Pad which had been returned to Zelda.

"That's true. I wonder how many Purah could manufacture. You know it's based off an ancient Sheikah artifact, I'm sure your clan would benefit from them," Zelda suggested.

Maari could sense her excitement at the prospect of a new science project. But it just reminded her of how she had stollen it.

"I'm very sorry I took it from you Zelda. I know they're important to you and Link," she said, head bowed with her hands clasped before her.

"I know you were only trying to find your mother. I know that when I was trying to get back to Link, I did everything I could, even things I knew I shouldn't do. So I don't blame you at all for fighting for someone you love."

Riju sighed and leaned against the arm of her throne. She appeared to be lost in thought for a moment. Then her eyes flashed open.

"Come, we deserve some relaxation. You two can come enjoy my private bath," Riju insisted.

She hopped off her throne and took both women by the hand and lead them up the stairs to her private chambers.

Riju's private bath was the size of a small hot spring. In fact it reminded Maari of illustrations she had seen of the hot springs around death mountain. Rocks had been placed around the stone tub, while ferns and other plants gave the room a natural feel. Warm steam wafted around the room and softly glowing lanterns created a sense of calm.

Without warning Riju stripped off her clothes and stepped towards the bath. Zelda let out a tiny shriek of surprise before averting her eyes.

"What are you two waiting for? You won't get clean like that!" She pestered.

Zelda and Maari exchanged a look which resembled a plea. But Maari didn't have the inhibitions that Zelda clearly did. They looked back at Riju as she descended the steps and sank into the steaming water. Maari glanced back at Zelda and shrugged, proceeding to pull off her own clothes and head scarf. Finally Zelda relented and joined the other two in the deliciously hot water. A delightful scent of Lavender and sandlewood filled the room, which was almost instantly relaxing. Maari's wound stung a little but she was sure a bath could only be good for it.

Maari found a seat on the side of the bath and spread her arms along the edge of the tub. Zelda did a half breast stroke to reach the other side and settled herself in the water. Riju meanwhile had ducked down under the bubbling water. She came up with a sprey of water as she flicked her fiery red hair from side to side.

"Hey! Watch it your highness!" Zelda warned, as she held her hands up in front of her face.

"Apologies, I don't get to share a bath very often. I don't get to share much with anyone really," she replied, visibly shrinking into herself. Zelda reached out and touched her shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"You must understand Zelda, when you're a princess or a queen there are so few people you can be yourself with. When everyone around you is essentially a servant, who can you treat as an equal?"

"I do understand, it's part of the reason I gave up the crown. I never enjoyed being a princess, I always thought I would make a better scientist. But I understand how you feel. It's hard to share even small things with anyone."

While the other women talked Maari thought about her own situation. Who did she have to share things with? Her family? Her mother had been gone a long time and as much as she loved her father and brother they weren't the same as having female friends. Paya had always been good to Maari, but even their relationship hardly ever stretched beyond the professional. She had trained herself to be hard. Put on armour to protect herself from pain and suffering. But the armour was around her heart too. Letting anyone close during times of darkness and uncertainty was just begging for disaster. No matter how much she craved a warm embrace or a loving touch, there was no room in Maari's life for that kind of thing.

As her body relaxed in the hot water, Maari's mind wandered. She thought about home and her journey across Hyrule. She thought about the Links and their strange ways. She thought about the Captain and how careful he had been when he dressed her wound in Hyrule Castle. How he had taken her hand in his that evening. She pictured his face. So like some of the other Link's and yet so different. His golden hair, his bright blue eyes and his easy smile. He had risked so much to help her last night. And the kiss they had shared in the Yiga jail. Had that been just a rush of nerves before their execution? Or had it been something more?

"What are you smiling about?" Maari heard Riju ask. She opened her eyes to see both of them staring at her.

"Sorry, I almsot fell asleep there," Maari yawned and stretched, feigning tiredness.

"Well, I'm almost there myself. You two can stay here as long as you like, but I think I'm going to go to bed," Riju announced. She stretched a little before climbing out of the bath and pulling a large fluffy towel from a shelf near the door. "Goodnight ladies."

"Goodnight Riju,"

"Goodnight your Highness."

Zelda and Maari sat for a while in silence together. Enjoying each other's company without the need for words. But curiosity got the best of Zelda, as it usually did.

"What were you smiling about?" She asked.

"What?" Maari replied, opening one eye.

"You know what I mean. Just now, you were thinking about something and you smiled."

"I smile all the time thank you. I just wear a mask so people can't usually see."

That made Zelda laugh and Maari couldn't help but chuckle at her own joke.

"Come on, in all seriousness," Zelda insisted.

"You really want to know?"

"I do."

"Alright, I was thinking about, someone." Maari said and Zelda's face fell.

"Just someone?! No more details?" She asked in a playfully inquisitive voice.

"I'm afraid not."

"Someone I know?" Zelda pried, sliding closer to Maari.

"Knock it off, I'm not saying any more."

"Oh come on! It's just us girls. I won't tell anyone," Zelda insisted. There was a devious note to her voice which Maari found indeering. It also sounded dangerously persuasive.

"Zelda..."

It was at that moment Maari realised how close Zelda had gotten while she had been teasing her. Their thighs touched as Zelda sat beside Maari on the little ledge. She looked up at Maari through hooded eyes and laid a gentle hand on her arm. Somehow Maari could tell Zelda wasn't teasing anymore.

"Zelda. I think we've been in here long enough," Maari insisted.

"I don't want to leave," Zelda replied softly, her voice now calm and even.

"I don't think you want to stay either. What you said to Riju earlier, about being lonely. Do you still feel that way, even though you're not a princess anymore?"

Zelda dipped her head and kissed Maari's shoulder.

"And what if I am lonely?"

"Well, I don't think mine is the company you're craving. There's a certain hero I know who was very nervous about coming here to see you."

"He was?" Zelda drew back a little, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes. I think he's confused about how the two of you feel about each other. I think it would put his mind at ease if you told him if there was anything between you." Maari explained.

"Link and I... we were friends for such a short time before the calamity. Then, when we came back he remembered so little of his old life that it was like meeting a whole new person. I enjoyed spending time with him and he helped me adjust to life in Hyrule. But after spending so much time in the past, I'm not sure how much of me is the same anymore. I still care about him deeply, but I don't know what that really means."

"Maybe he needs to know that."

"But what if he's disappointed? What if he wants something I can't give him anymore?" Zelda exclaimed, sending splashes across the pool.

"Link is your friend and he cares about you." Maari fixed Zelda with her Ruby red stare. "I'm sure if you talk to him he will understand."

"Are you sure?" Zelda asked, looking back at Maari dubiously.

"I've spent enough time with that young man to know he has a good heart. If he has feelings for you that you no longer reciprocate, his heart will mend. But you can help him and be a friend. I think that's what both of you need right now."

Zelda sighed and shimmied away slightly.

"Flattered as I am by the advances of a beautiful princess. I think the perfumes in here are getting to your head."

"Former princess, remember," Zelda corrected her.

"Former princess," Maari rolled her eyes. "Though I am flattered, I doubt it would be a good idea for us to be anything more then friends."

"I don't agree with you," Zelda argued playfully. Though truthfully she was a little disheartened. "You are rather beautiful yourself, you know that?"

"I don't know about that," Maari blushed, tucking a lock of wet hair behind her ear.

"Well take it from someone with good taste, any Hylian would be lucky to be adored by you." Zelda insisted.

She gave Maari a warm smile and before she had a chance to reply, Zelda turned and swam to the other side of the pool. As Zelda walked up the steps Maari allowed herself a moment to appreciate the former princess. She smiled contently as the water fell from her body and felt a slight pang of regret as Zelda wrapped herself in a towel and vanished from the room.

Maari rested her head against the rock and soaked for a while. Without the other women around to offer distractions, her mind kept shifting between two dominant thoughts. How she felt about her mother returning to her life. What that might mean and how things would change because of her sudden reappearance. And secondly, how she felt about Link.

< Part 17 :

[raspberrysunshinebby]

Two Choices

Chapter 10

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel (not rlly)

Summary: The future wife of Eris never cared much for mating bonds, she had spent years in love with Eris and when Beron finally died they could be together. He has full intention to make his love into his High Lady until at a party meant to celebrate Eris’ reign the girl finds herself finding her mate, Azriel.

Warnings: none in this chapter.

A/N: I finally finished it, imma be so fr and start another wip too cause I feel like it. I will finish this series though dw I’m so close to it.

Word Count: 3580

The Inn we’d stayed at was a bit run down, but nothing that bothered me much. I’d stayed at places like this before when Eris and I would sneak around, sometimes meeting up in cabins we’d both owned were difficult considering they technically weren’t ours but our families. Sometimes when we’d felt like Beron was onto us we’d find Inns slightly far away and meet there for whatever. The Inn we’d ended staying at was okay, i mean it wasn’t filled with rats or anything but it wasn’t top-tier. As long as there were no rats I didn’t mind, though.

The Inn didn’t have enough rooms for us all to have our own and we ended up rooming with one person each. I thought about rooming with Corbin but felt like that might be inappropriate, so I instead ended up rooming with Wren. I quite liked Wren, she was strongly opinionated and protective, all qualities I can respect.

When we walked in there were two beds (thank the mother) and a simple bathroom, the one that Wren immediately called. I couldn’t blame her as I couldn’t even imagine what it was like to fly around all day in a court you didn’t know trying to find places to stay and eat, especially in one so fucking hot. I quickly realized she went into there without any clothes, and I didn’t wanna be rude, but I really didn’t want to see her naked. I knocked on the door to ask her if it was okay for me to do it, once I earned her approval I snooped through her bags, grabbing pajamas she’d packed some toiletries and underclothes before passing it to her in the bath. I also quickly realized, I in fact, did not have any extra clothes or anything. I groaned before knocking on the bathroom again, “Hey does Fern have any extra clothes? Or like anything? I really dont wanna get back into these clothes after bathing.”

I think its pretty obvious why I didn’t ask Wren if she had any clothes, you know with all of her clothes having holes for her wings, “Ummmm,” Wren thought for a second, “probably not, just ask Blythe for some money cause Corbin probably needs some too.”

“K bet, I’ll be back in a bit.”

I left the room to head towards Blythes, who was rooming with Corbin thankfully. I was told he’d normally room with Auden in this type of situation but Blythe is still a little mad. I quickly banged on it before Corbin opened the door.

“Hey,” he said looking confused, “whats up?”

I pushed past him to get myself into the room before opening my mouth, “Do you need clothes and stuff? Cause I do.”

Corbin thought for a moment, “Yea I guess so, but I was just gonna borrow from Blythe and Auden.” 

“Yea well I can't really do that and I also don't wanna go alone so you're coming, and I need Blythe to give us money for it. Where is Blythe?” I asked.

“Over here.” I heard his deep voice in the corner of the room. I went toward him to see him sharpening a knife in a chair that sat in the corner of the room, “Blythe wanna come with us?” I asked, mainly just wanting to be polite but I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy his company, because I had never been able to enjoy the comfortable silence I had with him, then with Corbin something about him made me extremely comfortable. Probably because he was the one to get me out of the Night Court and probably saved my life, if not my life than both my mental and physical wellbeing.

“Grab the bag of money in my bag,” Blythe said, carefully wrapping his knife back up and placing it in his pocket. He leaned down to fix his shoelaces as I jumped on one of the beds and went to his bag, while I was digging through it I tried to ignore everything else I found inside it but I quickly noticed a journal in it, I didn’t look into it, just noted it before I grabbed the bag of money and closed the bag. I leaped off the bed and walked over to Corbin, lifting the bag in my hand while shaking it around causing him to giggle a bit, Blythe followed closely behind as we left all together.

Thankfully it wasn’t too late so many shops were still open, well it wasn’t too late here in the Day Court. The day was longer than the night here, around three hours shorter which left more places open for longer, thankfully for us. We entered a shop that had some traveling clothes sitting in the front of it, Corbin went straight to the clothes sitting on the male side, clearly excited to get clothes that are only his and I went toward the female section and searched through different pants and shirts, I didn’t care too much for looks as it wasn’t my money that was being spent and I just wanted something comfortable and able to put up with weather that we’d come across. As I looked and felt a presence behind me, one I quickly realized was Blythe, I turned to acknowledge him before continuing to look. 

“You should go for that red one, since you're from Autumn Court it should look good on you,” Blythe said.

I scoffed, “Red looks amazing on me, thank you.” I took a good look at the red one he’d pointed out to me, it was a white lace top under it with a dark red corset and red jacket, black pants and I could just wear the boots I already had with it. “The top looks kind of flimsy though. “ I said, examining it.

“Yeah, but it’ll be good for the warmer courts.” I nodded in agreement to that, “Get a few anyway, different climates and stuff, plus wearing the same clothes everyday sucks.” He said, as he looked at a few outfits for me as well.

I grabbed the one he’d pointed out and continued looking. I felt weird getting multiple and spending his money but he was right. Plus I was paying him to get me to the Winter Court. 

My stomach began to feel weird, like anxiety creeping up at me, before my stomach completely turned and my heart began to pound. I gripped onto Blythe to steady myself from the sudden feeling which almost knocked me off my feet. I did my best to steady my breathing as Blythe gripped onto me himself. I'm not sure how Corbin was alerted but he ended up rushing toward me as well. I heard them asking me if I was okay, I tried to respond but I couldn’t and then I finally understood what was happening, I could feel a tug on the bond and then I could smell him.

That fucker was here, probably looking for me. I gripped my shirt with my free handover my heart before looking at Corbin, “He’s here,” I couldn’t bring myself to say Azriel’s name. I heard Blythe say ‘shit’ before pushing me into the back of the store.

“Look at me,” Blythe told me, I looked him in the eyes, “is your side of the bond on?” He asked me, I shook my head no.

“Okay good.” Then he reached for his knife and cut open his hand, which made me want to vomit. He grabbed my neck and covered it with his blood. I allowed him to do it without any protest, mainly because I was doing my best to not ball my eyes out and vomit all over the floor of this poor shop.

Blythe tucked up into a corner as he continued bleeding over my neck while Corbin peaked over some racks to watch the window. Blythe used his non bleeding hand to hold onto my own shaking one, he used his thumb to rub over it while trying to calm me. Corbin ducked from his spot, I could only assume Azriel stood in front of the store, fuck I hoped his shadows wouldn’t find me. Corbin peeked up once more and let out a breath, signaling that Azriel had walked away.

We sat there until I could no longer smell or feel him, it took about ten minutes before it was completely gone and I allowed myself to let go of Blythe's hand, which I now realized I was crutching onto so hard it looked red, and cower myself into a ball. I didn’t hear exactly what was said, only Blythe telling Corbin to go buy the things I picked out and his things and to go buy pajamas for me as well before grabbing me to put me on his back and leaving the store. 

I basically just spaced out the whole way, physically I was there but I mentally wasn’t. All I could remember from that night was Wren helping me bathe to get the blood off me and Corbin coming with pajamas. When I opened my eyes I layed in the bed in the hotel room. Instead of it only being me and Wren I sat up and saw Blythe laying on the floor, Corbin laying with him on the floor. I reached my hand to my neck to touch it, well more wipe it, I wanted to see if the blood was still there. I knew they had bathed me but part of me still wanted to check.

I'm not sure why I was surprised when my hand came back clean. Part of me expected that blood would be fresh on my neck and covering my clothes when I woke up. I don't know, maybe my brain just wasn't working properly at the moment. 

I got up from the bed as carefully as I could to not wake anyone up. I noticed how I stumbled a bit like my body had grown weaker but I ignored it and pushed through to go into the bathroom. I quietly closed the door before allowing myself to fully breath, I looked in the mirror and saw myself as well, when I looked at myself I was shocked. My eyes were sunken, my face was gaunt, my skin paler than snow and my body skinnier than it's ever been. The part that shocked me the most was the black nightgown I wore, one that reminded me of the night court.

There was no way Corbin would buy me a black nightgown, especially not one so night court. Not when he knew what the night court had done to me and his friends. I stumbled to the door, my body feeling weaker than it's already had, when I put my hand on the door knob I smelt one thing. Blood. I smelt blood.

Panic surged through my body as I opened the door knob, I rushed out of the bathroom almost tripping into the mainroom to make sure the three were okay. “Guys!” I yelled out, not receiving a response.

I saw three bodies lining the floor, the floor covered in blood. I wanted to scream and cry but instead I began hyperventilating, I couldn’t think, I couldn't move. I felt tears falling down my face and my body weaken. I wanted to fall and cry my eyes out but I needed to know the rest were okay, I needed to know Auden, Fern and Oliver were okay, that whatever went through here didn’t take them too. I began to back up, my hands and body shaking before I turned, mother I wish I never turned.

Azriel’s face looked loomed over by shadow, and he stood there bloody, a knife in his hand and his wings sparted out. I choked out a sob and tried to find words, any words, but none came out. Instead I could do nothing but sob.

I looked down at the floor, I realized my dress had changed, a black gown similar to the one I wore in the Court of Nightmares except puffer and baggier, it covered every crevice of my body, every inch of it hidden away. It was obvious who picked it out. I couldn’t move, not my feet, not my arms, nothing. 

I felt Azriel’s hand reach to grip the back of my neck and pull me into him as I sobbed, I could hear him making those “shh” noises you make to toddlers when they cry to comfort them, somehow it didn’t comfort me, it only made me cry harder.

“You killed them, you fucking killed them.” I sobbed into his chest, not that I had much of a choice to sob anywhere else. “You slaughtered them, you fucking monster.”

He gripped my hair to make me look up to him, his face was still loomed over, not clear, “They took you, I know they took you. Cause you’d never leave me, right? You’d never leave me right, my pretty mate?” I sobbed harder hearing this, I felt my body give out and if he wasn’t holding me I knew I’d fall onto the ground.

I could feel myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breath and I could barely see from the tears in my eyes. I was pushed onto a bed and when my eyes cleared enough I realized I sat on Azriel’s bed, in Azriel’s room. I looked over to the fire and saw something burning, something red, I looked closer and realized it was multiple things. I gained enough strength to pick myself up and walk toward the fire, my dress felt lighter than the one I wore just a few moments ago. I noticed I now wore a lacy, short nightgown. One that was sheer everywhere except my breasts and the area where my lower body was. 

I wrapped my arms around myself and walked to the fire place, I looked at it cautiously before taking note as to what was burning.

I saw articles of clothing, books, accessories and other items all burning inside it, all items were of Autumn Court, all articles were mine. I realized they were all things I’d broughten from the Autumn Court when I moved, all things I’d given to Leilani and her family. I rushed myself toward the fire in some stupid attempt to stop it, even though I wasn’t sure how. I found myself sitting in front of the fire, watching all my things burn.

Tears continued to fall out of my eyes as I reached my hand toward it, slipping my hand into the fire. I tried my best to grab my things, nothing going through my mind but the need to have something so precious toward me back, almost a child-like thought. I could hear Azriel screaming behind me. It sounded like he was begging me to stop but I couldn’t hear it very well as the sound of the flame spreading to everywhere on my body filled my ears. I could hear Azriel’s voice come closer and I thought of attempting to grab me, but at this point I’d been too far in the flames, my body began to melt under it and I could feel my flesh burning. I’d heard stories of how bad it is to burn to death, how painful it was, how you feel utter terror and how you not only die from the fire, but from suffocation. I couldn’t believe how ironic it was that a girl from the Autumn Court would die like this, it almost being unheard of for someone in the Autumn Court to die by fire. 

I ignored Azriel’s voice until I couldn’t anymore, and the only reason I couldn’t was because it wasn’t his voice, it was Eris’. I heard Eris’ voice screaming my name, yelling for someone to help me, yelling for a healer as I could feel myself suffocate, the suffocation only got worse now that Eris’ was here, now that he had to see me like this. I moved my hand out of the fire and turned my body to where I heard Eris’ voice. I wished I could see him pass the flames but I couldn’t. Instead all my body could do was collapse onto the ground as my body shriveled up into a burnt mess.

Waking up in the bed of the Inn we’d stayed at was unreal, I felt tears streaming down my face and myself hyperventilating. I pushed myself out of bed and checked the ground, noticing Blythe and Corbin weren’t there like in what I could now assume was a dream. I rushed myself toward the second bed in the room where Wren slept, I didn’t want to wake her and only stood over her to watcher her chest rise up and down from her breathing which ended up helping me calm down some, but the pit in my stomach and my rushing mind didn’t go away, I had stopped crying though.

I rushed myself out of the room and brought myself to the first room where Auden, Oliver and Fern slept. I peered in and saw Auden snoring on a couch in the room. Oliver slept soundly and I could see Fern drooling onto her pillow. I left the room, closing the door carefullying before moving toward the room where Corbin and Blythe slept. I only had to step a few feet before I was at the door and doing my best to quietly open the door.

I peeked my head into the dark room to see if I could see them breathing but their room was much darker than the other one had been causing me to need to step into the room to clear my racing mind and tell it they were all okay. Walking into the room I was painfully aware of my bare feet but pushed through the cold floor to reach them. Corbin's bed was closer to me so I checked his first. Not wanting to wake him I only paid close attention to his chest and watched his chest go up and down. I stayed there for a minute just watching him breathe, something about it calmed me a little bit and then I finally moved on to the last person. 

Blythes bed was tucked into the corner of the cozy room and the walk felt so long there, something about the length of it and trying to keep quiet made my heart race. After a few seconds I made it over to his side of the bed where because of how he was positioned I could not see or hear him breathing, which scared the shit out of me. My heart was pounding in my chest. I did something probably stupid. I reached my hand over to his wrist that sat out of the sheets on top of him, I needed to find his pulse to make sure he was okay. I wasn’t sure exactly where it was but I knew it’d be there. I braced myself to touch his wrist, but before I could he grabbed mine and gripped onto it hard, probably assuming I was someone trying to kill him.

I yelped when he gripped onto it, I quickly moved my hand over my mouth and turned to look at Corbin hoping that I didn’t wake him up. Once I saw that he only stirred in his sleep I looked back over to Blythe who looked nothing but confused, “What are you doing?” He asked me, a mix of a question and concern in his voice, his grip on my wrist lightened.

I swallowed, “I just- I wanted to make sure everyone was okay. I’m sorry.” I felt like I looked like a child, looking down at my feet like I’d just broken a window with a ball and was fessing up. 

Blythe let go of my wrist and patted the bed to invite me to sit, I followed suit and sat down. “Why did you need to check?” He asked, ”What’s wrong?”

I shrugged my shoulders, looking down at the floor like a child.I played with my fingers as I heard Blythe sigh before he rested one arm around my shoulder. He ruffled my hair a bit before getting up and heading toward the bathroom and quickly coming back with a glass of water, he handed the glass to me before reaching into his bag to grab something that looked like an oil. He walked over to me with it in his hand, “Lay down, just for a second.” He said, I followed, a little confused.

I realized it wasn’t an oil but more of a lotion sort, he rubbed the lotion around my shoulders and added some under my nose, “Oliver sometimes has a hard time sleeping and this is what we like to use on him, sometimes it works on the others too.” He told me, his voice sounding softer. I realized how tense I actually was as my muscles lighten up, once he was down I sat up again, my eyelids felt heavy and I leaned on Blythe’s body. “Just go to bed, okay? We’ll all be here in the morning.” Blythe told me, I nodded to him and moved under his sheets. I felt him tuck me into the bed before moving Corbin’s body over, I heard Corbin groan before Blythe moved into his bed and I’d already passed out.

[touchingmadness]

Help me choose a Nano project?

I am by no means promising to heed the results to this, but I could use some opinions. I have a few ideas for what to work on for Nano but can't make a final decision which is... a problem, since these all need some more planning before I actually start writing them.

Descriptions and pros/cons below the cut.

Reblogs allowed and appreciated.

That Which Remains (post-apoc sci-fantasy)

In a post-apocalyptic world where the passage to the afterlife has been mysteriously cut off, the streets are oversaturated with the spirits of the dead. Trained Quellers take to the streets with their spirit-sensitive subordinates to channel and extinguish these spirits. Aereas is an unsanctioned Queller who is secretly spirit-sensitive. When they're called in to investigate the apparent suicide of a Queller-in-training, they get pulled into the mystery of why the spirits of the dead are lingering and what the Quellers are - or aren't - doing about it.

Pros:

Most developed plot

Main and secondary character decently developed

I know DEFINITIVELY how this ends, down to the scene

Cons:

Might be derivative -- formulated as a dream while I was binging stories about body-hopping and talking to the dead

Most of the other characters don't even have names

Unsure if this is a single book

Wither and Woe (high fantasy, political drama)

Five nations are on the cusp of deadly conflict. Tensions are rising, and plans are being pushed into motion under the veneer of civility. A young princess married off as a glorified hostage barters with the demon Wither for a child that will earn her nation's protection. She bears her husband an heir that is not his own amidst the political machinations of the inner court and begins to suspect that she is not the only one who Wither has helped.

Pros:

WITHER!!! I love Wither so much!!!

Most of these characters are well-planned

Wrote a bit for this a few months back

Cons:

Still unsure is this should be one POV or like six

Worldbuilding needs some work

Heavy subject material with little room for levity -- usually prefer to write these types at the same time as a lighter project

Casey Draper's Big (Gay) Alien Road Trip (contemp sci-fi)

Casey Draper is stuck in a rut since graduation, faced with the harsh realities that her dreams may never come true and her friends might not want to see her again. Life isn't like the books, and that sucks. So who can blame her when she lets herself be kidnapped away from her dead-end job by an angry alien who seems to think she's a missing alien prince? Casey's in for the adventure she always craved as they flee secret government agencies, stumble upon strange towns, and eventually have to stop the actual runaway prince from getting himself killed with his party boy attitude.

Pros:

Main cast is completely planned

Incredibly dissimilar to anything I've watched/read lately, so less likely to accidentally draw from things half-remembered

Almost episodic, can afford to be rambly and unfocused

Cons:

It's the type of contemp where the worldbuilding is basically just our world, which is difficult and often boring for me

Literally no existing outline AT ALL

Annoyed with my own job in a way I wasn't when this was first planned -- risks getting too pessimistic or just frustrating

Project Evergreen (post-apoc sci-fi)

Arden thinks his life is over when he leaves behind his family's stronghold to take his sister's place at the Eternal One's estate. But instead of being imprisoned for Fern's habitual impulsiveness, he is given a new name and instructed to work on a mysterious device alongside others in similar situations. And he would truly prefer it if the Eternal One would simply lurk. Instead, the mystical woman infamous for somehow surviving long past the Before Times visits him and speaks as though he is someone else.

Pros:

Relatively developed cast drawing from discarded projects

Basically a fucked up and nonromantic sci-fi Beauty and the Beast story, so most of the big story beats are planned for me

Strong thematic center - easier to make story decisions

Cons:

No clue what happens between the big story beats ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Worldbuilding is slapdash at best

I have no clue how this ends

[tired-needs-sleep]

Tell me any fun (or not-so fun) facts about your rebornverse OCs! Totally not because I'm planning something...

OOOOH BOY LOADED QUESTION.

i have been waiting for an ask like this. you dont even know. i looove fun facts and i have a few laying around.

gonna stick to my main character ocs since they have the most stuff about them- i have some side ocs like rue and rene but they are not nearly as developed, so there'd be little to no fun facts for them

also gonna try and keep this, somewhat organized but it's bound to devolve.

rhea:

originally she was going to be shipped with. shudders. fern.

don't ask. i will not answer for my sins

i got the idea to kill her parents in a fire from an idea from a year prior to making her, where the main character's home burnt down mysteriously and a wild absol saved them, forcing them to embark on a journey. i never developed this idea much further so i instead recycled elements from this to make rhea and sara.

that main character's pokemon included every eeveeloution, hence where i got her theme from.

originally rhea was also going to be an empath but i figured i liked her being autistic instead, so i switched it.

yes she is canonically autistic

she's polyam! right now the idea is her to be shipped with victoria and saphira.

her family heirloom is called the obsidian starshard- it is the 5th key to the ruins under reborn. long ago one of her ancestors (i assume a grandparent,) stole the starshard and fled reborn for alola. a small branch of the guardians of the ruins chased after them to retrieve it, but they were always evaded. it eventually led to her mother passing it down to her to keep the organization on their toes when they caught up to her years later.

that eventually ended up leading rhea back to reborn. small world, huh?

rhea constantly squeezes her starshard. it comforts her

she's easily flustered

her name is pronounced ray-a. its technically wrong, but i think it suits her more.

as a kid her nickname was ray-ray. which is. longer than her actual name

her birthday is march 14th

she actually had to battle shade twice, since she was too psyched out to focus the first time around due to seeing corey die again.

rhea and hardy are good friends

she has litchenburg figures from being struck with a thunderbolt. most of the scarring is on her back, but you can see some of it on her arms and collarbone

rhea's trainer class is rising star during maingame. as champion it's protector of reborn

after the events of agate city, rhea almost passes out since it was so soon after she got injured

before the amaria incident, rhea loved swimming

she blames herself for that as well, constantly trying to figure out what she did wrong

her natural hair color is brown

she's considered dying her hair pink

pink is her favorite color

she adopted the eevee from the lost railcave. she named him florence after the captain.

she looks like her mom

they were about 8 when their parents were killed

she likes puns only because her dad was a goofball and never passed up a chance to use puns

névé (her a-ninetales) reminded her of winter when she found her as a vulpix

she thinks about the other trainers that were on the train at the beginning sometimes

they looked up to amaria before the whole underwater thing

speaking of water: she loves swimming and pretty much anything with water.. and yet they still remember what happened and can't bring themself to do anything she'd want to around other people. sometimes when she's alone they still feel this dread that it'll happen again….

her flareon never liked amaria

she feels guilty about - (… literally every death)

she is an only child, but always wanted siblings

emphemeon(bug type evo) evolved first, espeon evolved last.

i didn't like how victory road had a lot of self aware jokes. it got old very fast for me, so instead of having the others save her at every turn, i have koa do that since its always out of its pokeball

rhea can understand what her eeveeloutions are saying

koa knows power gem through cavern

nia:

her favorite cereal is trix and she named her scorbunny that because it reminded her of the mascot

she prefers hot springs over pools

she thought she was aroace before she had her first crush

she picked up rock collecting shortly after coming to aevium and since then knows a little about rocks and gems

her favorite rock is granite and her favorite gemstone is sunstone. she also thinks geodes are awesome

in school she played soccer and volleyball

she has an incredibly high spice tolerance

she finally realizes that how she feels abt aelita is not platonic sometime towards the end of chapter 14

instead of arceus she says adrest in common phrases

heavy sleeper. sometimes when someone tries to wake her up it won't work until long after a normal person would give up, but if she's tossing and turning it's a lot easier (which, is like 70% of the game, but details details), and she has a habit of swatting at people that try to wake her up while she's in a deeper sleep. she isn't aware she does that until someone tells her.

i almost named her an A name but i asked one of my friends which one and she chose nia's name

nia originally had gray eyes, but she always had heterochromia

if i could assign a legendary to her, i would choose either virizon, keldeo, or galarian zapdos

nia swears up and down she's killed a fake plant before

her favorite drink is apple juice, but she likes orange soda a ton as well.

^ her favorite food is galarian spicy curry.

she punched a screen in the nightmare school out of frustration and, predictably, cut her knuckles on the glass, but she wouldn't stop picking at the scabs when they were healing so they scarred.

she's a yellow character.

she's the type to confess something before a drop on a rollercoaster

she doesn't like milk. it needs to be flavored or in cereal for her to tolerate it. that's why her favorite cereals are the ones that flavor the milk. besides trix. she'll eat that and only that one dry sometimes

she might have adhd because of accidental projection

she's afraid of her own power

ironically, she's also afraid of heights

she treats her birthday like any other day and doesn't see it as very important, but goes all out for her friends.

instead of cherry like ari hosts usually get, the nickname marianette gave her is tangerine

it becomes her favorite after that chapter, and she has a few outfits with tangerine/orange slice patterns

she looks. really good in orange or yellow, which is a main factor in why they're her favorite colors post valor. before then it was red

for her birthday, she got a toxel egg from amber, a bandanna from aelita, earrings from melia, and the rest i haven't decided on yet

her favorite jewelry is a ring her mother gave her

'through space and time' is a common theme in rejuv so i went wild with it. valen is a perfect example of this. nia has known him since she was a child

her favorite weather is a warm day with a chilly breeze

she has a habit of adopting the younger characters as her siblings. its happened with marianette and mosely. it will happen again.

she and ren are good friends after they made up.

she's terrified of time traveling

the whole gang placed bets on how long it would take for nia and aelita to get together. it was originally venam's idea and everyone got in on it when they saw how the two were around each other

her birthday is november 24th

sara:

hasumi and kisaragi are the same exact age

sara's favorite artist would be odetari

they prefer ice cold drinks, but could handle a hot drink.

their main love language is acts of service (other top 2 are words of affirmation and quality time)

canonically the only gyms they've had real trouble with are reeve, garret, and aaron.

she likes telling her friends she's proud of them.

light sleeper; if you touch them while they're asleep there's a high chance they'll wake up. [iseult is the only exception.]

the main reason why hasumi isn’t a mega (...anymore) is because she doesn’t like changing into that form.

sumi is very protective of sara

they can’t resist a challenge, especially when someone baits them into doing it, even though they know exactly what’s going on

they don't like billionaires

bad spending habits. if they see something they want they will get it.

they probably believe in karma

affectionate name calling. their favorite thing to call people is dumbass.

vision in their right eye is a little worse than their left 

she is a chronic complainer

it deeply pains sumi to see her trainer suffer and she does what she does best: be there for them like they would for her

they tend to over apologize whenever they're being vulnerable

they aren't fluent in pokemon language but can understand the general idea of what its saying

they show symptoms of c-ptsd. i think it's possible they have it

they have depression.

they're left handed

sometimes when they're half asleep their body does that jolt thing (when you jolt wide awake since your brain thinks your heart rate is slowing down too quickly)

they never get used to people just knowing who they are

when fighting any form of pain inflicted on them makes them angrier

their own blood actually freaks them out 

they get motion sickness

sumi and silverhawke will only obey sara, even if they say to do whatever the person says

 she likes her hair being brushed

 their favorite food is sushi and seafood

 she also likes rice

 she's terrified of the doctor because its a scary unknown thing and they don't like the idea of someone just. examining them

 would not like shots either

 tends to prefer laying on her stomach

they keep at least one coin in their pocket for flipping and can do it with their thumb

they hate it when people make "got something on your face" jokes 

they're always wondering when they'll eventually let everyone down

their original nickname was kisara until i shortened it once and it stuck to sara

i would've named hasumi something like prophecy or whatever if it weren't for sara's name

sara's name means devil

their favorite flower is the moonflower. they use shampoo with its scent.

their second favorite is the desert rose.

as hinted with that last one, they like succulents

they would like cheesecake

their favorite flavor type is tangy, their second favorite is sour

their original nickname was kisara but i shortened it once and it just, stuck

the first thing i decided about them was their ace

she has a small collection of fountain pens

i went back and forth between black and white hair for them for a good second before i settled on white. but i like to think that they've dyed their hair black before

their favorite book genre is thriller but mystery and horror come in second and third

doesn't like pineapple on pizza

their spice tolerance isnt terrible. they can tolerate a good amount of spice since they're more resistant to pain, but its just not her thing usually

they walk silently if there's nothing on the ground to interfere with it like leaves

she thought of battle more like a means of defending herself instead of a hobby and finds it tedious at times

…so due to the nature of absol and that, they aren't as fond of battling as the usual league challenger. ava and scarlet had to convince them to give it a try

probably has a resting bitch face when they're tired. so almost all the time

voice can be monotone at times, usually when depression is kicking their ass

they're semi nocturnal- their internal clock is a few hours later than the usual person's so it's harder for them to sleep until it's really late.

[chronicleverse au] the main motivator for sara's hyper independence is iseult refusing to stop caring for them so much

[with r's deso trio]

they love asra and cande's cooking but doesn't ask often out of fear of bothering them

they just let cande pick them up

in fact, they just let all three of them do whatever they want with psychical affection

they're taller than asra lmao

they always wear the bracelets they got for their birthday

they also adore the music box they got then too

their aura exhaustion is worse here

mena likes to drag them along to do whatever her plans are for the day.

they are very fond of cande's siblings, mostly little xiamena.

asra and sara are very close. very very close. they're each other's weaknesses.

as you can tell, sara has a lot more facts. this is mostly because i didn't write down every single idea for nia and rhea like i did for them, and some details may have been lost to time and tumblr void.

as a bonus, here's one more not so serious fun fact: if rhea and sara were in the same game as companions, i think they could work as a ship. it'd be kinda cute.

[epic-and-kitty]

For the ask game Obrina - magnolia, hollyhock, gladiolus, belladonna, fern

oh hell yeah I get to talk about Cheese!

magnolia : describe your muse’s relationship with nature & the natural world .

Bri grew up in the Splatlands, she is well aware of it's dangers (she's seen it herself), but despite this, she finds it beautiful. She appreciates the beauty from a distance, slightly afraid of nature in the Splatlands and Badlands specifically. She's seen what it can do to those who don't respect it. She does think Twist is a bit insane for working in the outskirts of the Badlands, especially with how accident prone Twist tends to be. But even then, she tends to defer to Twist knowing what she's doing. Obrina may have been raised in Splatsville, but Twist was raised and THRIVED in the deepest parts of the desert, deeper than most Splatlandians dared to go.

hollyhock : how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ? what’s something they strive for in life ?

Aside from Dai Dai, fellow Team Twist member and ex Elite, Bri is probably the most ambitious of the team, especially considering she's the youngest on the team at barely 17. She's pretty damn smart, getting really good grades in her classes, statistics and history being her best classes. When she was just a little blob of octobaby, not even close to getting her 'kid' form, she saw an airing of one of Rider's matches before he got big in turf (and before most Splatlandian youths were even interested in snooty turf war) and immediately wanted to be like him. .....No, she wanted to be BETTER than him. The moment Sheldon opened shop in Splatsville, she was first in line to get a Dynamo roller, even if everyone told her it would be best to start with a lighter model. She wanted to best that smug arrogant inkling at his own game (she does not know about Goggles, who did that without a care, mostly because Inkopolis turf matches rarely aired on Splatsville TV.) She's honestly kinda disappointed after meeting the green inkling and seeing him much more mellowed out and humble. She however has a new goal of besting the Splatsville Hierarchy, especially since they think they can just stop someone from playing just because they lost. (This has absolutely nothing to do with her massive crush on Ocho of the Hierarchy, or the fact that she has gotten into constant trouble for ripping the banning stickers off her Dynamo and wearing disguises to be able to keep playing) She wants to prove herself against the best of the best, her B- rank be damned!

gladiolus : describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget .

Obrina has damn good reason to be afraid of the outer Badlands. When she was just a little kid, she and her best friend, an inkling named Squeaks (for her love of basket ball and her loud shoes) decided to prove they were tough stuff and scavenge something cool that they could show off to the other kids in their class. They ended up finding a massive abandoned Octo Weapon and tried their best to drag it home. Bri accidentally brushed a button on the controls and it started going haywire, spinning around rapidly enough that she couldn't get out. Squeaks jumped in and was able to turn it off, but she got flung out and hit a pile of junk that ended up falling all over her and massively injuring her neck and vocal cords. Despite doctors best efforts and because of how young she was, Squeaks never fully healed from the injury because her vocal cords weren't fully developed when the injury happened. Because of this, Squeaks can only vocalize with soft squeaks and while she can speak, her voice is very quiet and it hurts like hell to talk. Obrina blames herself for Squeaks current state, because if it wasn't for her wanting to prove she was the best, her best friend wouldn't be partially mute now

(Squeaks is of the opinion that the accident was both their faults and refuses to let Bri wallow in self pity, smacking her upside the head and squeaking angrily until Bri agrees it wasn't solely her fault)

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

Considering the above, Obrina is quite used to silence when hanging out with Squeaks. Usually it doesn't bother her, but if she can hear the wind howling softly like that day, she's blasting Sashimori until the falling rocks fade back into foggy memory.

fern : does your muse believe in magic or cosmic forces , or are they more likely to think their life is ultimately a matter of their own control ?

Obrina really isn't one to believe in magic or ghosts, but she's native to the Splatlands and knows there's some shit you just can't explain away. She's a "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" kinda gal, but she is kinda convinced Twist is cursed with everything that happens to the poor girl.

(No, she doesn't believe in magic or spirits, but she's not fuckin with them to prove her point)

[enteringdullsville]

So against my better judgement, I made a seventh wave of characters.

Daniel, the Cardinal Drewman

Serena’s big brother; they have a whole Dipper and Mabel thing going on

The unofficial leader of his little section of ICT, but he still answers to Violet

Usually pretty chill, kind of a slacker, but forces himself to act responsibly for Serena’s sake

Visually inspired by Scott Pilgrim (more obvious with his default expression)

Very emotional; surprisingly easy to convince to do anything (I broke my alphabetical order there)

Has it bad for Fern. Doesn’t even bother denying it at this point

Astonishingly good at puzzles and problem solving when his mind is in the right place

Serena, the Canary Drewman

Daniel’s little sister, but you could’ve probably guessed that

Think Kitty from The Ridonculous Race

Daniel’s main reason for getting up in the morning

Naturally curious. An amateur sleuth (read: professional busybody)

Lover of animals. Bonds with Cedric over this

Deliberately plays up her childish attitude to piss off Danny

Tries to set Daniel up with Fern upon realizing he’s madly in love with her. Starting to regret this choice

Damon, the Denim Drewman

Danny’s buddy

A mischievous, lackadaisical “bad boy” type. Immediately clashes with Lloyd, who thinks he’s a poser.

Definitely channeling Marshall Lee in his design and mannerisms

A lot more malicious in his jokes to differentiate him from Noah from a few seasons back

Nowhere near as confident as he’d like you to think

One of very few characters to have a car

Despite his obsession with keeping up his reputation, he can’t bear to keep up his “arrogant douche” act in front of the others

Wade, the Sea Green Drewman

Big fun personified

Not stupid, but highly uncoordinated and spacey

Basically just Total Drama’s Owen

Deceptively acrobatic. Used to take water aerobics

Learned to fish at a very young age. Can only cook seafood

Always seems to attract the lunatics; Bobbie, Geneva, Kirby, Mark, etc. adore him

No relation to Izumi (seafoam), Shawn (ocean blue), Walter (aqua), or Marina (aquamarine) despite their similar color themes.

Judy, the Raspberry Drewman

The trickiest one

Generally benevolent, but a master at deception and manipulation

Ms. Chalice in Numbuh Five’s body

Her eyes are her only tell, so she covers them completely

Makes sure to steer clear of resident aura reader Lyman

Very little of what she says isn’t wrapped in a layer of irony

Each of those dreadlocks are so tightly packed they can dislocate bones

Ash, the Ash Gray Drewman

Chill and introverted

Music flows through those veins

Stoned? Who knows

Some random he/they ICT picked off the street

Vaguely inspired by Monster Prom’s Sawyer

Gentle giant

Functions on the exact same wavelength as the likes of J. and Geneva despite being far calmer

Fern, the Fern Green Drewman

On the border between goth and hippie

Simply along for the ride. Everything’s just for her own amusement

Seems nice but increasingly turns out to be as conniving and rascally as Judy is. Tends to come off as a lot meaner than she wants to

Fully knows Daniel has a crush on her. She genuinely likes him, she just wants to see how many times he can make a fool of himself

The latest in a long line of potential lovers Serena tried to set Daniel up with, but she resents Fern for playing with his emotions. That said, she and her are more alike than they’d like to admit

Trixie, normally a bigger prankster than Fern herself, is terrified of her for reasons she refuses to get into

Genuinely friends with Mable despite what everything would suggest. After all, Fern doesn’t derive enjoyment from physical suffering

Mable, the Maple Brown Drewman

A massive klutz. She blames her disproportionately long legs

She has dozens of those bear hoodies

Covered in bandaids under her hoodie

Major Finberly vibes

Way too eager to help a friend out. Given her bumbling nature, it never goes well

Needless to say, she’s the season’s pain magnet

Absolute moron. I love her

Nestor and Gene, the Eggshell/Eggplant Drewmans

NEEEERDS

The two are inseparable. They’re collectively known as the Eggheads

Nestor’s the geekier, more pop cultured of the two and is a master of terrible puns. Gene’s more book smart and acerbic.

Don’s reading buddies

Seriously, just get together already

They collect fancy novelty neckties

Quite vindictive when they feel they’ve been wronged

Hazel, the Hazel Drewman

A sorceress in training

The only non-animal Drewman with a nose

Specializes in restoration and nature magic

Her powers are fairy based. She suitably has a whimsical personality to go with it

Idolizes Rodney, a stage magician, despite her knowing actual magic

Nary a thought between those nonexistent ears

Shares Brody’s merrily bloodthirsty demeanor, but in the opposite direction

Celeste, the Celeste Drewman

Athletic, tough, and commandeering

Kind of a bully. While she’s definitely strong enough to make her case, very few people take her all that seriously

Immediately clashes with Buffy and Cameron, thinking they’re ripping off her style

Goal oriented, but not to a detrimental extent

Deliberately affects her more aggressive persona because she feels that’s how you get by in life

She doesn’t bother acting mean towards people she doesn’t regard as a threat

Wouldn’t be working for ICT if she didn’t need to

Ginger, the Ginger Drewman

Her hair actually is on fire 24/7. It’s just that nobody cares

Bobbie’s evil counterpart. While Bobbie’s just hyperactive and vicious, Ginger causes destruction for the heck of it. The two naturally get along swimmingly

Disturbingly cunning and calculating

Her energy levels aren’t all that high. She’s pretty calm and personable if you catch her in the afternoon

My sister says her eyebrows and cap look like a duck together and it’s REALLY THROWING ME OFF

Will make you die if you make a “soulless ginger” joke in her vicinity

She likes higher positions, namely atop other people’s shoulders

Alphonso, the Mango Drewman

Lovable quarterback

Has an underserved reputation for idiocy due to his sunny disposition

Ridiculously wholesome and encouraging, but not in a sickening way

Could gouge one’s eyes out with a well placed slap to the jaw were he a lesser being and gave into his rage

He’s not faking it. He’s just that infectiously happy

He usually respects people’s negative emotions. The issues usually derive from his…odd thought processes

His yellow eyes twist everything he sees into a sunshiny equivalent

Muffet, the Blueberry Drewman

The Eeyore

Her sullen face doesn’t always indicate depression or sadness, but she can unintentionally bring down the mood with her presence

She is rather quick to break into tears, though

Likes to be alone with her thoughts

Has a surprising flair for the dramatic

Really into flowers and gardening in her down time

It actually doesn’t take much to make her smile. That’s just her resting face

Peter, the Pewter Drewman

A squeaky clean neat freak

Polite, but doesn’t mince his words

Not great at detecting sarcasm

Loud and dramatic about relatively mundane things

Seems like one of the saner cast mates, but he’s actually very openly unhinged

That being said, he’s probably the best at avoiding actual trouble

The Von Nillions all owe him obscene amounts in damages. He’s uncharacteristically cool about it