cigarettessmokeandberries

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Silver Springs (Sevika x reader)

The air outside The Last Drop was stale against your nostrils, it came in cold and left with a stain against the inside of your nose- the musk in the air still not something that you got used to. The glow of the undercity shined against you as you wiped another tear from your eye, red and irritated. This wasn’t the first time you’d disappeared out back to cry. Especially about Sevika.

a/n: lots of crying in this fic but there is comfort!

The air outside The Last Drop was stale against your nostrils, it came in cold and left with a stain against the inside of your nose- the musk in the air still not something that you got used to. The glow of the undercity shined against you as you wiped another tear from your eye, red and irritated. This wasn’t the first time you’d disappeared out back to cry. Especially about Sevika.

The scene inside the bar was rowdy as always, but the corner that you cared to pay attention to went quiet in your ears as the image played out in front of you: Sevika with another woman on her lap as she busied herself with the cards in her hand. You knew the scene wasn’t the truth, all an elaborate show to keep your exposure together minimum, but the eyes in the room taking it in knew none the wiser and thus believed it. So, why shouldn’t you, at this point.

When Sevika held you at night it was easy to forget the days apart, the warmth of her arm around you as she talked about the jackass of the day made it easy to imagine a life together. She told you how her day was, what her duties were, how pretty you were, and yet as you had stared at her with that other woman sitting so pretty you couldn’t help but wonder if she was whispering those sweet nothings into her ear.

You sniffed, another inhale of stale air. Maybe that’s what you two were now, stale. The thrill of the tryst long gone to a sentimental, domestic feel. You didn’t know how Sevika felt about it, you never asked in fear of what rejection would sound like from her lips. You stared off into the bricks Infront of you, your break near over and now needing to rehearse the smile you’d force on yourself to hide the truth that you were breaking down from the stress of whatever Sevika and you were.

You wiped one last time at the streaks married to your cheeks, feeling the warmth of them against your palm as you fanned yourself to quell any oncoming tears. You took one last deep breath, having just enough time to make a bathroom stop to make sure you were ready to face the rest of the shift.

Walking back into the smoked filled bar was nothing short of a walk of shame. You looked disheveled from the moments you had spent outside. You were sure no one would notice, too busy with their usual antics to pay attention to anyone else, but as you pushed through to the bathroom you felt a piercing set of eyes glued to your frame. You knew that feeling, you loved it for so long and now it felt like an anchor in your chest.

Instead of meeting the eyes you knew would be looking, you pushed on. When you reached the nearest mirror in the small bathroom littered with two stalls and one cracked mirror, you saw the mess you’d been made by your own heart’s desires. You stared for a moment, lost in your own teary eyes as they swam with something similar to loss. But nothing had been lost, and you didn’t know why it felt like the stone in your chest was heavier than usual, beating slower than before.

You readied yourself for the next four hours of work as quick as you could without looking a mess and soon waltzed right back out into the bar on your way back to work across the street. Those same eyes found you again and you mustered a small smile in their direction before walking out of the bar doors. Maybe tonight you should stay home.

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Any other break would have lifted any qualms you had about the day, spending it at the bar watching Sevika play from a stool across the room, but seeing her today with another woman perched so close only gutted your insides. You felt a sickness inside your gut at the idea that maybe she had been playing you. Had wanted you for nothing more than a warm body to end the night. The thought sent a flurry of incomplete thoughts through your skull, no idea where to put any of them as they moved in rapid secession one after the other. The shift was the slowest you’d ever worked and when you pushed open the employee door out back to head home, your heart gasped at the sight of Sevika waiting like a dog. Her eyes perked up as she saw your figure close the door and she was on you quick.

Sevika’s kisses always held an intensity you couldn’t explain. Too intense tonight, you thought, as you softly pushed her away. Her brows furrowed at the gesture, but she backed up none the less.

“What’s up?” Her gruff voice questioned as she looked at you with those shining eyes. Looking into them was like looking into the coffee she made you the mornings after you had stayed over but the warmth that only lasted a moment before she cooled down in front of you and they took on a sharper edge, waiting for an answer.

You sighed at her question, biting your lip as you looked around for an answer. There was none that she would believe other than the truth. She was not stupid to your lies.

“Just upset.” You answered with a meek tone, no strength in you to try to deceive her. The heart that was inside you bleeding and you didn’t know how to tell her it was her fault. Her fault that the heart you so gladly gave her was now breaking in front of her eyes.

You left her there. She didn’t question you anymore and you left. You wish she had questioned you because your voice was dying to speak up, but your stubborn brain was not ready. You hoped you hadn’t pushed her into the arms of the pretty lady she so easily found.

=============================================================

What never surprised you about Sevika was her dedication, you knew she was dedicated to making a better life for herself and those in the undercity, dedicated to those who were fighting for something so many deemed useless, dedicated to doing what she had to. But, dedicated to you? That surprised you.

All day at work she had filtered in and out between jobs to see if she could speak with you. She came in once while you were hidden on break, once when you had barricaded yourself in the bathroom to cry, and a third time at the end of the day, where she couldn’t miss you. And she didn’t.

“Come with me.” It wasn’t a question; it was a demand you willfully followed when her deep voice reached your ears. She was still your stubborn Sevika, and you were still the same Y/N.

The walk to her place was quiet as she kept her pace, walking with the same purpose she did everyday down here. Her jaw was held in a tight line as she kept her face unavailable to those around her that she passed, and even you. Your eyes watched the passing bricks and carved out theories in your head of what she had to say. You planned on an attack to your heart, knowing, feeling, it was going to witness heartbreak today. Your brain whispered sorry stories to you as the cracks in the walls stole your eyes attention, keeping trained on the lines.

Out of shock, or maybe surprise, you gasped when you felt the feeling of Sevika’s hand on the small of your back. You stopped for a moment before quickly continuing when you met her raised eyebrow. You swallowed thickly as you saw you had nearly walked right by her apartment in your desperate attempt to prepare your heart, to prepare yourself.

Sevika shook her head at you before a smirk pulled half her lips up. Did you always get lost around her? She always felt you disappear inside your brain, but she always assumed you were daydreaming, and she always secretly hoped it was about her. She hoped this wasn't about her, though, because she had a feeling it was wearing you down. And she had nothing but a heart that ached for your presence.

When the door to her worn down apartment came into view, you swallowed thickly, your heart beating faster than you thought possible as she held the door open for you. You took in the cigar smell as you walked in, the air wafting into your nostrils in a soothing moment of reprieve from the hard of the day. There was something so Sevika about the smell of her apartment, it was a hint of cedar mixed with the smoke of cigars.

Your eyes beelined for the sofa sitting against the back wall of the apartment, the blue color seeming all too fitting for the mess going through your brain. Sevika closed the door and you jumped at the sound, the thoughts inside you had kept you from hearing much else and the slamming of the door retracted you back into the real world. The real world where you heart could really break. You weren’t ready for this. The blood pumping through your veins was turning hot, boiling almost, it felt, and you quickly sagged down into the sofa.

Sevika moved to sit down next to you before a hesitance took over her, she stalled halfway in the cramped living room, glancing back and forth between the frown easing your lips downward and the downcast of your eyes. You had not met her eyes once in the time she had been with you today. She was so used to you always looking at her that she didn’t know what to do now that you weren’t.

Sevika doesn’t know why she said it, why she even cared so much, but she asked:

“Are you okay?”

The frown only worsened as the words reached your ears. You bit the inside of your cheeks to prevent the tears from cascading, but it was too late. How do you deny Sevika anything? A breath sounds through the room, sucked in as a new wave of tears fell. Sevika stood alert, looking around the room as you did in the street earlier, looking for an answer that wasn’t there. She took it upon herself to care for once, to ask, and now you were crying. Why were you crying? You were acting different, yeah, but crying? She had never seen those beautiful eyes shed tears, but as she looked on in confusion and some form of guilt it seemed that the water falling was the first after a drought- slow and unsteady.

You struggled to form any words, just escaped sounds as you searched and searched for something to say.

Not knowing any better, Sevika cursed under her breath before plopping down beside you, looking you up and down for any injuries or any sign of what the hell was going on. Once she’d scanned you and found nothing, she looked back up into your watering eyes that were staring at her with the most heartbreaking expression she thought she’d ever seen. As if your heart was breaking right in front of her.

“Shit,” she mumbled before pulling you awkwardly into a side hug, her arm rubbing up and down quickly on yours. She didn’t know what to do. What had caused this. She held you close, even kissing your head a few times, but nothing seemed to work as the tears fell. Finally, she took it upon herself for the second time to ask.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” The question was as hesitant as she had been coming over to you, not knowing what she was getting herself into. Though, she felt that she might not care what she got herself into if it meant you were okay.

The thoughts spiraling in your mind quieted for a moment as her worried tone caresses your ears, it was quiet, but you heard it. And you wanted desperately to answer. But you needed to calm down. You shook your head and slowly laid your head down on her shoulder, burying it in the crook of her neck. Sevika didn’t say anything about the wet drops of your tears as she felt them falls onto her skin, she didn’t question the arm that pulled your closer, that held you tighter. Her hair tickled your forehead as the wisp that fell from her hairdo brushed across. She placed a slow kiss on your forehead and a stuttered breath left her lips and fanned across your forehead.

“Do you want to leave me?” You whispered into her skin, your fingers picked at each other not having anything else to do.

Sevika was stunned for a moment, a deer in the headlights, as she stared down at you with furrowed brows. ‘leave you?’ She thought ‘why would she leave you?’ She racked her brain for any reason why she would consider it, worried you knew something or had kept something from her.

Sevika could not rationalize any reason to leave you, so another emotion took over her confusion- you must be keeping something from her. At this, upset ran through her system, at the idea of you lying to her, at the idea of you doing something to betray her. On the bases of not knowing anything else, Sevika pulled back with a heated frown on her face. When your eyes met it, they widened as you thought ‘this is it, she’s gonna break my heart.’ Resignation ran through your veins as the heat of the proximity between you two became too much and you backed off. Your heart sang for Sevika’s arms but your brain told you to whisper goodbye for at least you could leave with your dignity. But before you could feel the humiliation of heartbreak, Sevika spoke again.

“What did you do?” Her voice took on a defensive tone sending a shock through you. The shock was enough to reboot your system, your eyes widening for the second time in frustration as well as incredulously. ‘What did you do?’ replayed in your head over and over as you stared at her. Sevika stared back at you, grinding her teeth against her own anger, her mind forming a conspiracy.

“What have I done?” The words left your mouth hot to the touch, burning her as they met her ears. She flinched at the outburst, never having seen you so much as angry at her. The audacity of her accusation had you speaking over her, needing to express just how upset she had made you. For once, your heart is not hurting but rather your brain, busy thinking of what to say, of who to blame, of what the hell is going on.

“I’m not the one flaunting some pretty woman on my lap while her partner is working across the street, I’m not the one adamant on hiding a relationship while my lover wants to fuck around, I am NOT the one, Sevika. I am-” Your lungs scream for a breath as you take a deep one, cutting through your last sentence like a sharp knife. As you gather yourself back up, ready to start yelling again, Sevika’s grin takes you by surprise looking like a cat that got the canary. You stare at her for a moment, mouth agape while she sits, folding her arms with a raised brow. The anger within you dissipates into something less volatile.

“You’re jealous.” She mused as she leaned forward. Your jaw tensed as a big frown pulled yours lips down, refusing to meet her eye. You stared at the floor, breathing slightly less heavy, as the situation came crashing down to its end for Sevika. She used her flesh hand to poke under your chin and pushed it up to meet her eye. The gap between her teeth was slowly revealed as she started to smile, a big, nearly goofy smile as the pieces fell together. Sevika was about to speak again when your sentences ran through her head for a second time.

“You know I love you, right?” She spoke, the words coming out of her mouth with force, willing you to believe.

“I only had that chick on my lap for the game, some of the other dicks were fucking around-” you cut her sentence off with a hand on her arm. You took a deep, steadying breath.

“I don’t care why she was there, Sevika, I care that I’m not. Why can’t you flaunt me around like that?” The air stills as the words meet it, you looked down at your worn shoes as you began to pick at your nails. You knew why Sevika didn’t flaunt you around, she had told you multiple times why (’to keep you safe,’ ‘because you were hers,’) You had heard them so many times that in the hours where she was holding you, your brain was still worried about the next time she’d be able to. You wanted her all day and it felt like she only wanted you in passing.

“You’re right.” Was all Sevika said as she moved her mechanical arm behind you, pulling you close, nearly on top of her, closer than that woman had or would ever be, as she nuzzled her nose into your hair. She breathed you in for a moment before she pulled back and wiped away the remaining tears carefully with her hand. The cold metal of her arm pressed against your back as she stared into the pools of your eyes, getting sucked into something she swore she’d never fall for: love.

You replied with a slow nod, testing the waters and hoping this was a turning point for you both. She bumped her nose into yours, placing a rough peck onto your lips before she pulled back with a shit eating grin. Her lips spread wider as she roamed over your face, almost as if she couldn’t believe she’s able to be so close to you. Your hand rested on her arm and pulled her closer to you. The anger simmered down inside of you, replaced with a quiet thump of hope.

Your bad thoughts were sent packing as Sevika laid down on the couch, pulling you with her, she rested her head on top of yours and yours laid on her chest. Inside of Sevika, you could hear her heart beat to some unknown rhythm, but you knew in due time you’d learn all you could about it and all you wished to do was quell any doubts swirling in hers and your head.

“I love you, too.”

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Lovesick Idiot (Sevika smut x reader)

The smoke tickled the back of your throat, one breath in and one long sigh out. The day wore on your back, the couch a nice relief against the soreness. Sevika chuckled beside you, a grin plastered on her face as she took another drag of her cigar.

Warnings: Smut, cunnilingus, short and sweet

a/n: authors first smut :)

18+

The smoke tickled the back of your throat, one breath in and one long sigh out. The day wore on your back, the couch a nice relief against the soreness. Sevika chuckled beside you, a grin plastered on her face as she took another drag of her cigar.

As you moved to reply, sitting up and crossing your legs, is when the weed poked its head out of you. You giggled as you stared at her, unable to get a word out. The room around you sported a new shine as your eyes took it in with wonder.

“Told you it was good.” She met your silence with raising a sharp eyebrow. You couldn’t help but giggle again and Sevika’s sharp eyes started to morph into something similar to mirth.

“You always treat me good, Sevika.” you grinned against the high. Your eyes felt clouded as you stared up at the ceiling, leaning back into Sevika’s lap.

“’m feelin’ mhh,” your words melted together as whatever was in that joint began to really take effect. The warmth of the room enveloped you as a comforting tingle ran through your brain.

Sevika took another drag of her cigar before extinguishing it in the ashtray on the table, holding her fingers out for the joint. You took one more quick hit before passing it to her, blowing the smoke up into her face. She cursed you while swatting it away, but a smile showed her teeth as she rolled her eyes.

Your hands rolled over your face, blocking it from Sevika’s view, and she nursed the roll while her flesh hand moved to pull your hands away.

“I want to see your face,” she commented as she looked down at you.

Your cheeks warmed to match the warmth you felt inside.

For a moment you watched the smoke trail from her lips, envious of their closeness before you leaned up and pulled Sevika down into a kiss. Her eyes widened against the kiss before she met it. She chuckled into the kiss, low and delightful, as her hand moved to push through your hair, tugging lightly as it shifted against your scalp. The cold of her hand released a hushed moan from your lips that she took as the incitive to poke her tongue out. Yours eagerly moved to meet hers, pulling and pushing against each other until you pulled away to giggle again.

“You always win,” you playfully roll your eyes as you plopped back down into her lap as a huff left her nostrils.

Sevika took another hit, blowing the smoke down onto you in rebuttal. Your nose scrunched against the invasion and your eyes closed. Your medicine was not tasting good.

You moved her fingers to take the joint from her lips and move it to yours, taking a big inhale. She scoffed but before she could get a word out you motioned her closer with a single finger. Intrigued, she placed the joint in the ashtray as she moved down closer to your face and your hands moved swiftly to the back of her neck, pulling her down to your lips. She parted her lips, accepting the kiss, and the smoke pushed from your lungs into hers as she breathed you in.

Sevika hummed as she pulled away from you, a trail of smoke between the two of you as her lips stretched into a lazy smile. You’d called it lovesick if you didn’t know better. And in the moment you didn’t.

“Lovesick idiot.” you teased. Sevika’s dark eyebrows furrowed as her mouth opened to reply but it closed just as quick as an exaggerated frown moved her lips down. A cackle soon reversed the frown staining her lips.

“You’re the idiot,” she scoffed, but she was in deep. Her hand moved through your hair again as she pulled your head back to meet your eyes. Her lips revealed her teeth as she smirked down at you, your eyes tracing the gap between the front two, and her lips started to form words. For a moment you were intraced by her mouth, the words moving her lips up and down, but the words never reached your ears as you laid staring up at her. A goofy grin stretched your lips as she continued talking.

“-drink.” you caught the tail end of her sentence, still grinning up at her as she waited for your reply with a raise brow.

“hm?” She questioned knowing you hadn’t been listening. Her strong arm nestled behind your back before lifting you from her lap, leaning you back against the couch as she moved to stand. Your arm reached out to stop her, a confused expression painting your features as you gazed up at her.

She swatted your hand away, rolling her eyes, as she walked to the kitchen.

You watched from your seat as the back of shoulders rippled against her movements as she reached up into the cabinets for a glass. Her shoulder blades met as she rolled them together, looking over her shoulder knowing you were watching. You mouth hung slightly agape as she moved to pour herself a glass of whiskey.

Sevika came back to the couch for a moment to drop her drink off at the coffee table before turning back around. Your whine of protest caught her attention, and she turned back around to face you, a questioning look on her face.

“Come back,” you drew out as you held your arms out for her. Sevika gave you a quick glance before shaking her head and leaving towards the bedroom.

You stared at the spot she was at for longer than you’d like to admit before flopping your head back down onto the armrest of the couch. You eyes dropped close as the scent of Sevika’s cigar wafted in your nose, close to the ashtray, and only opened back up to Sevika grabbing your shoulder and gently shaking you.

“Come on, up.” She commanded and like an obedient dog you sat up waiting for her next command. Your eyes sparkled up at her and for a moment Sevika wondered what she had done right to have you in her circle, much less as her partner. Sevika studied your face, letting out a sigh as she took it all in. Her eyes paused on your chapped lips, cracked but still so soft to the touch. Soft to her touch. You were hers and no one else’s.

That thought alone had nasty thoughts running through her stubborn skull. She swallowed against most of them before grabbing you by the arms and hoisting you up into her arms.

Sevika held your weight so carefully, so practiced, that it almost surprised you when she threw you over her shoulder and held on tight to your waist as she walked back into the bedroom.

She smirked as you swatted as her ass, laughing loud at the high attempt to be set down. But it didn’t take long for her to set you down onto the bed, crawling over your frame.

Sevika’s thighs pressed on either side of yours as she gazed down at you. Her flesh hand reached to push some hair behind your ear as she whispered something under her breath.

Before you could question what she had said, too busy focused on the way her shirt exposed her abs from this angle, she leaned down and connected her lips to yours. She wasted no time in introducing her tongue into your mouth and you accepted it gratefully, tangling it with your own.

Her hand moved to tangle into your hair, pulling harshly to expose your neck. She trailed kisses down your jaw to your neck before sucking lightly against the flushed skin. You reacted eagerly by pushing her head closer to your skin- needing more.

Sevika knew you well as her hand began to trail down your stomach before stopping at the waist band of your shorts, peeking through teasingly. A moan left your lips at the tingling left behind by her fingers, egging her on. Her mechanical arm held her above you as her fingers poked into the waistband, pulling it down ever so slightly.

“Please, Sev.” You begged as her hand pushed further and further into your shorts. Her hand rested on your pubic bone, her fingers barely ghosting your folds through your underwear and a groan interrupted the air as your hips pushed back against her hand. You were growing more desperate by the second.

“hold on, princess.” she demanded into the skin of your neck, biting it. Your moan sounded through the room at the nibble, a surge of heat rushing down to your core.

Your clit pulsed as her hand slide to cup your heat through your underwear. Your hips reacted automatically, pushing up against her hand and grinding against her. And as soon as she felt the movements she extracted her hand.

“I said wait.” Sevika’s voice was deep, shrouded in lust, as she instructed you again. She was not patient in the slightest, but the high in her system added more than she let on.

Sevika’s head raised from your neck, meeting your eyes with a pointed glare that ran another string of arousal down your body. She watched as your cheeks became more flushed, a satisfied grin spreading her lips before she started pressing open mouthed kisses down your throat. She moved expertly down to your collarbones, giving them a small bite and rolling her hips when your moaned out.

Sevika’s hand fumbled to push your shirt off your body, and you quickly sat up to aid her. She leaned back onto her toes as she watched you drag the shirt off of your body, her eyes growing darker as your tits popped out of the soft material. Her tongue moved out to lick her lips as you threw the shirt somewhere unknown in the moment. Your eye widened with lust as you stared back at her, waiting.

Sevika’s large hand cupped your breast, the now warm digits squeezing the flesh, and a high whine spilled from your lips. Your eyes closed as she continued to massage the flesh before attaching her lips to your other. Her tongue swept out to lick at your nipple, it growing quickly into a peak against her mouth. She suckled on your breast for a moment before switching giving the other the same attention while her hand moved to massage the unattended one.

“Please,” You moaned out, now desperate for her touch as you rolled your hips up against her.

By whatever upper forces exist, Sevika hummed into your breast before letting it go with a pop. Her tongue began to slide down your torso, licking a slow line down. Her tongue dipped into your belly button sending another shiver running down your spine.

Finally, her tongue stopped its trail right at the band of your shorts and she gazed up at you, her eyes shining with something akin to mischief.

Sevika bit the inside of her lip as her hand moved to pull the band of your shorts down, and it took all within you to not move the process along. You lifted your hips to help her, but she pushed you right back down onto the bed as your shorts reached your knees, restricting you from opening any wider.

Looking up at you with dark eyes, she licked a stripe up your folds, her tongue applying more pressure to your clit as she passed by. The sensation through your underwear caused a louder moan to break from your lips. You resisted the urge to cover your mouth, knowing Sevika would only stop to ensure you didn't. Your bare chest rose up quicker now, the adrenaline pumping through you mixing with the arousal. You tried to push your hips down to meet her tongue as she licked another strip but her mechanical arm held your hips in place. The cool metal against your lower stomach did nothing to quell the burning inside, merely adding to it.

You were about to start begging but before the words could leave your lips Sevika’s hand moved to the band, pulling your underwear down to meet your shorts resting onto of your knees. She breathed you in with a smirk lifting her lips as she stared back at you seeing the glistened mess she had already caused.

Without another word, and thank whatever force is up there, Sevika’s fingers had spread your folds, her tongue connecting with your clit in soft licks. Your head slung to the side as a moan ripped through you. Sevika licked at your clit for a moment longer before sucking lightly. Another moan wrung through you and your hands moved to tangle in her hair, pushing her head into you.

She moaned against you, sending a spike of pleasure ringing out through your body. You moved one hand to massage your breasts as she continued.

Sevika sucks hard one last time before a rush of pleasure shoots through you. Sevika watches as a silent moan escapes your lips as your eyes closed. She watches on as she lowers her mouth back on to you, licking small circles onto your clit as you calm. Eventually your hands loosen in her hair and move to gently push at her forehead. She takes the que and licks one final strip up you, humming at the taste, before pulling away with a grin.

After a moment you open your eyes to her still staring up at you from between your thighs, the same grin on her face as she took your face in.

“Lovesick idiot.” you say with a pull of her hair before your hands move to cradle her head as you pulled her up your body. She groaned into the kiss you pulled her into.

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[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Sevika Smut?

18+/Men dni

A/n: I don't know whether to finish it or not, so here's a snippet.

Sevika bit the inside of her lip as her hand moved to pull the band of your shorts down, and it took all within you to not move the process along. You lifted your hips to help her, but she pushed you right back down onto the bed as your shorts reached your knees, restricting you from opening any wider.

Looking up at you with dark eyes, she licked a stripe up your folds, her tongue applying more pressure to your clit as she passed by. The sensation through your underwear caused a louder moan to break from your lips. You resisted the urge to cover your mouth, knowing Sevika would only stop to ensure you didn't. Your bare chest rose up quicker now, the adrenaline pumping through you mixing with the arousal. You tried to push your hips down to meet her tongue as she licked another strip but her mechanical arm held your hips in place. The cool metal against your lower stomach did nothing to quell the burning inside, merely adding to it.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Softened (Sevika x reader)

She nearly always came to you after beaten up, but you didn't want it any other way. A short comfort fic for Sevika.

Warnings: beaten up Sevika, wound care (nothing graphic or major)

a/n: just another comfort fic for Sevika :) apologies for any OOC or spelling issues.

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It wasn’t hard to love her. Headstrong, brilliant, beautiful Sevika. She was a star in the shiny life of the undercity. No black eyes, gashes, or pain could stop her from fighting for the place she cares so deeply about.

It hadn’t been a surprise when she showed up at your doorstep, hand holding tight onto her ribs as she limped into the now open door. Your door would always remain open for the enigma that was Sevika.

“Again.” It was more of an observation than anything else, she smirked. You never asked questions, for you feared the details.

Your soft hands sat her on your sofa, her plopping easily into it.

She let out a relieved sigh to be off her sore feet. She had been working none-stop the past few days, some bruises already stained her skin, blackened and blue.

She winced as your hand brushed some hair out of her face, not out of pain but rather small confusion. She never understand your care for her, she didn’t understand your will to her wellbeing, but she appreciated it none the less.

“nothin’ to worry your pretty little head over.” She replied, stubborn as ever.

You eyes rolled as you collected the first aid kit and took a seat on the coffee table in front of her.

“My pretty little head is always worried about you,’ you mumbled against the quiet night air. The silence strand on as you took some cream and smoothed it over the cuts littering her face.

She hummed against the coolness, closing her eyes.

“Just some cleanup.” She clarified, her voice deep in the moment.

Her eyebrows twitched against the bandage pressing against the now soothed skin. She was always a little more sensitive on the nights she came to you. A gift you received with a glittering smile. This place was not for someone like you, she always thought. You were a glimmering soul in a place that distinguished such. But, she wouldn’t look this horse in the mouth.

“Thanks, and all that, y’know,’ Her words clogged her throat coming out, almost a pleading for something. You couldn’t pretend to know what she was thinking in moments like these. Maybe how annoying you became when it came to her health or maybe a thought passing through of confusion about your generosity when it came to tending to her. She never once questioned your love for her. She just never understood it, but the world down here didn’t give much understanding.

“Yeah, of course, or whatever,” You met her reply with a smile gracing your lips that lifted the curve of your cheeks a little higher.

You placed a gentle kiss against the bandage adorning her forehead, another soft sigh leaving her at that. She was not a gentle person in the slightest, but you could swear you might be the exception. And, you might be (you were).

The rough kiss that came after was of her doing. Her lips crashed against yours in a mix of fury and desperation as she poured all she could into it. She was grateful, but words always escaped her.

You met her lips with the same fury, opening your mouth when her tongue darted out and you met it with vigor.

Her hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer. She guided you into her lap and twitched a bit when you weight pressed against her bruised ribs, but she would never deny you and that was a thought that surprised her in the moment. Her kisses turned more into quick, chaste, pecks as she rushed to give you what she could.

“Mmh,” you hummed as you pulled away and her hands slide up under your shirt, a shiver running down your spine and rushing to your core. You felt her against you and nothing was better. Her calloused hands rubbed up your sides, chilly but still welcome.

She never seemed to warm, even when pressed up to you. Her tongue darted out one last time for one last deep kiss before she pulled away.

Her eyes shone in the lamplight, a little lighter.

You picked yourself up from her lap, a small smile still on your lips as you moved to the kitchen to pour a glass of whiskey. Her lips quirked into a smirk as she took the glass and hummed into the rim as the poison entered her mouth.

You sat down beside her as she nursed her drink, swirling the golden liquid in the small glass. You admired her from the side, her nose bridge sticking out smooth and right and the strength of her jaw sharp. Her jaw clenched against the liquid as her flesh hand moved to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close.

This might not last forever but it felt like forever in a moment. A soft air surrounded you both as the impact of the sound outside faded out. Just you and Sevika. Just you two. Just right.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Blue Skies and Orange Suns (Hetty Woodstone x reader)

Never apart, Hetty and Y/n spend their days together.

a/n some more fluff for Hetty

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Hetty and Y/N spent their days never apart. Hetty’s morning walks are filled with conversation of death and longing and the way the blue sky always attaches to the setting orange sun. The evenings when Hetty perches on her chair and stares out of the window are filled with days where Y/N sits and watches too. Admiring the way the evening sun brightens Hetty’s auburn curls and how the light only darkens her enchanting eyes.

The conversation is null during these times, a time of admiration and reflection. Y/N spends the time in admiration thinking of the way Hetty’s arm always found a way to link with her own and how any task became two-man jobs when possible. When the sun sets, the loneliness echos through the walls and sends Y/N into the dark of Hetty’s room where hands get lost and clothing would stay wrinkled if possible. When the night finally settles into silence, comfort radiates from Hetty. The blue sky and orange sun resting for the night before waking together again in the morning.

Soon the rooms of the manor became familiar and not worth exploring over the wrinkles of Hetty’s palms. Y/N softly explores the lines for the nth time every night the Ghosts take over the living room. Hetty was never up to date on any show they had the gall to play during her moments with Y/N. Hetty’s fingers would always flex slightly against the tingle of Y/n’s touch as she subconsciously massages the palm of Hetty’s hand while her eyes stay glued to the silly screen. Hetty admires the way Y/N features relax at the touch and the way her eyes flit across the screen- not wishing to miss a beat. The laugh that leaves her lips due to whatever funny thing the box had said always worked to soften Hetty’s features. In these moments, Hetty almost wishes the television did not exist, wishing for all the attention of Y/N’s soften face to be on her solely.

The truth of Issac’s comments ring true at some times. Both Y/N and Hetty had hooked onto each other like ‘abandoned puppies’, he would say. But the truth was they were following the other into a home they’d make their own. The sheets would never be cold for the other and the stress of the day could never cause a growl from either- not as long as they had seen each other. Y/N always on Hetty’s tail.

The eternity of their time had not yet set in, months together felt like fleeting moments in which time graced them with the hidden knowledge of who the other was. Hetty’s stubborn head finding a cradle in Y/N’s soft heart. And Y/N’s calloused heart finding soothe in Hetty’s soft palms. To Hetty’s time, the relationship was crude but to now it was a sunrise on a foggy morning.

Y/N could never choose a better time.

The walks they took in the evening blossomed into moments of glowing solitude between the two. The blue sky pushing the suns rays into the hearts of both women. The time was filled with the cat and mouse of it all. Of each push and pull of their relationship and how it worked to keep them both craving. But, even then when the blue of the day became the dark of the night, the next morning was always brighter than the one before. No words could be shared between either woman again and still an understanding would be palpable.

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[cigarettessmokeandberries]

I want a home with you (Miranda Hilmarson x reader)

You don't believe in romance movies, so how come it felt like one with Miranda?

a/n: just some good ole fluff :)

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You had spent your day off tidying Miranda's apartment and had spent the last two in the kitchen making her dinner. The kitchen was nearly suffocating with heat as you took the garlic bread out of the oven. The pasta water had boiled over at one point and a paper towel had been slightly burnt against the eye when said water was being wiped up too soon. The air smelled like burnt tomato sauce and the heat was getting to you so you quickly moved to the counter, that was less hot, to finish. The noodles were drained and the, thankfully, remaining non burnt sauce was poured on. You set the table with some plates before gently serving out the pasta right as the door opened. 

Miranda walked into the apartment with a quiet sigh as she took her boots off, her arm resting on the wall as she leaned against it. On her way to the couch, she paused, smelling the scent of dinner. Looking over at the table she chuckled softly at the sight of your pulling her chair out with an upward quirk of your lips you tried to hide. 

“What’s this?” Miranda's voice was raspy from the day, a hint of exhaustion evident, as she walked over to take her seat after throwing her coat on the back of the couch.

“I thought I’d try my hand at cooking,” The words are followed by a soft kiss to the crown of Miranda's head, her blonde hair tickling your lips. “It didn’t work out too well, but it's edible! I think…” Miranda let out another chuckle as you mumble out the last sentence.

“It looks great, babe” Miranda's eyes shone with a hint of adoration as she stared into yours. She smiled like a love sick idiot before digging into her dinner. 

—

Dinner had passed faster than you had hoped. Conversation followed by Miranda's many compliments made it enjoyable but pass quickly. You were sure the food was below average but enjoyed her doting. 

You stood by the sink, washing the dishes as Miranda freshened up. You scrubbed the plate lightly, getting the grime off and were in the process of drying it when Miranda walked back into the kitchen with a smirk in her eyes in reaction to you at the sink. 

“Don’t say it.” You cut her sentence off before she had even opened her mouth. Miranda holds her hands up in faux surrender with a coy smile. 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” The words leave her mouth in an exclamation as her hands fall back to her side. It only takes her a few steps to reach the counter and, when she does, she leans over it and gently grabs your chin with her thumb and forefinger.

“I was going to say-”

“Don’t say it.” 

“You're my lovely-” she uses her fingers to nod your head lightly 

“Miranda…” Your cheeks begin to flush.

“little homemaker!” Her lips meet your forehead in a sloppy kiss, leaving a wet stain you feel behind, as her teeth shine through her lips. At least she hadn’t said ‘housewife.’ 

“You’re blushing!” she chuckles as she lets go of your chin and leans against the counter, her red tank top clinging to her wet skin. Oh, how you wish you could have washed her hair and maybe even lathered soap- nope. Miranda is her own woman and you are her partner, no need for any of that homely shit. 

“Because I spent the evening in this kitchen,” the words lose their momentum as they leave your lips and you're pretty sure Miranda’s smile only got wider. 

“You like it.” she sings as she walks around the kitchen counter, her long arms wrapping around your waist like some stupid scene from a romance movie. Why did it feel good? No, this is stupid. You wiggle your way around in her arms, coming to face her, before furrowing your eyebrows dramatically. 

“I do not.” Despite your attitude, your arms wrap around Miranda’s shoulders as hers settle around your waist. Miranda backs you up against the sink, the marble cold, while she rubs soft circles into your back. The warmth coming from her hands is nothing compared to the raging fire burning on your cheeks as she smirks lopsided at you. 

“Mhhm,” comes from her throat as she leans down to place a chaste kiss against your slightly chapped lips. There, this was definitely not like a romance movie because they never have chapped lips! You do not enjoy these homely moments! But the way her hands were rubbing your back and how her lips fit so perfectly into yours and the way her eyes were shining at you- no, you do not like homely moments. 

“Then why are you blushing, and I know it's not the heat.” Miranda's words tap you back into reality and you let out a sigh through your nose, shaking your head. 

“You make me blush, I just love you.” Although true, that wasn’t the reason you were blushing and Miranda’s raised brow told you she knew too. Miranda was pressed against you after enjoying a meal you had prepared. Miranda was rubbing your back after you were standing over the stove and over the sink and it felt so nice, too nice. Miranda came home and had all her time to spend with you. Miranda was holding you in the kitchen like that damn scene from some stupid romance movie and you felt so loved. You felt wanted. You had even tidied up the damn house. Who were you kidding, you loved these moments.

______________________________________________________________

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Chrysanthemums (Cordelia Goode x reader)

Cordelia Goode was a force of nature. She was green all year round and her words were bulbs from the most beautiful flower. She walked like she knew where to be and she spoke like she knew everyone was listening. Her hair was golden in the sunlight and her eyes were milky coffee in the moonlight. She wore her beauty as if it didn’t impact you everyday. And you were already mourning her as she sat right next to you.

Warnings: Death mentions, grief, hurt slight comfort, panic

a/n:

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You had had a hard time settling into this little family. It felt everyday as if this dream would be stripped away from you. Madison was snarky with her comments, but you knew they held no bite. Zoe was kind with her words and her actions followed suit. Coco was spoiled but delightful company. But, Mallory. Mallory you had no read on. You knew you didn’t want to know her, didn’t want to know anyone who would take your Cordelia away. The Cordelia that tucked you into her at night, the Cordelia who kissed you awake every morning. You knew you couldn’t know anyone who would take that away. You couldn’t.

The dinner table was set and the food was being passed around. You had dealt your serving and passed it on. The conversations flowed like water but your mind was elsewhere. You had only recently learned about Cordelia’s fate. She was meant to die. A part of you was reluctant to believe such a tale, it felt like a scary story your mom would tell you to keep you in order. You couldn’t look at Cordelia’s soft face right now without seeing it pale and cold. It didn’t feel right to go on normally.

“How was your day, Y/N?” Mallory’s voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard, ringing through your thoughts like a gunshot. You paused for a moment, the fork halfway to your mouth before placing it back onto the plate. ‘how was your day?’ you spent it grieving someone who’s still alive. Mallory had never done anything untoward to you, but she was killing Cordelia. She was a predator and Cordelia was the prey and everyone acted as if they couldn’t see it. Mallory’s mouth was stained red in your eyes as she chewed on the meat in front of her.

“Good, the girls were well behaved.” It was short and less than sweet with a sour tone soaking through it. You felt like you were in a twisted confessional, her smile was too soft, too forgiving, before she’d tell you your penance. Tell you Cordelia is to die and there’s no prayer that can save her. Nothing you can do. Mallory nodded as her smile melted and her eyes fell. She cleared her throat before moving back to her conversation with Zoe. Cordelia looked at you as if you were a wounded animal. Her brows were furrowed and a frown had melted her own smile. She reached for you under the table and you gripped tight, afraid to let go with Mallory in the room.

The dinner continued for you in tense silence as everyone around continued their conversations. Their mouths moved but all you could hear was the ringing in your ears. The ringing sounded like church bells, mourning the loss of someone who still sat right next to you. 

—

—

—

“You’ve been acting strange, baby,” Cordelia’s voice broke you out of your trance staring at the chrysanthemums. They looked to be dying and you reminded yourself to water them. You didn’t know how to respond to Cordelia. You had been acting strange but there was no way you could tell her all you saw was death looming over her head. It still felt like it could take her at any moment. You felt as if this was some sort of reprieve before the worst came to be. 

“Just been a busy week,” Your voice betrayed you, sounding weak against the dry walls of the green house. You should really water those chrysanthemums, they look thirsty. Cordelia lifted her brow, another frown painting her lips. Her lips always reminded you of the pink dahlia bushes: soft, inviting, and smelling sweet like her lip gloss. The lips you would miss in due time. You knew you couldn’t avoid this forever, but you’d like to try. Cordelia wouldn’t let you, though.

“I’ve seen your schedule, I also know you’ve been hiding out in our room during breaks.” Cordelia wasn’t stupid, which is why she hadn’t brought this up. But, it had been a week and you had been avoiding her as much as you could. Hell, the only way she got you to the greenhouse was to help her water the plants. You’ve got to water those chrysanthemums. Cordelia sighed before dropping her watering can onto the table, it clinking against the little water still left, she sat down next to you on the stool, casting a glance at the mums you’d been eyeing. She placed a piece of her golden hair behind her ear before licking her dried lips. It was too hot here. 

“I’m not dying right now.” The words caused your chest to constrict,  a sudden bout of panic rushing through you. You knew she wasn’t but it wouldn’t be long til she was. And she had spoken it into existence. You felt a lump start to block up your throat as you swallowed and tension weighted on your waterline. You stared at the chrysanthemums, refusing to look at her. Her hands gripped your own and you felt as if you had stepped too close to the edge. Your heart was beating faster than it should have. Cordelia was holding on too tight, your hand was tingling. You broke free from her grasp, leaving her hands on your thighs as yours flattened your hair, and a low sigh left her lips as she bit back her words that were causing your brain to ache. Your hand was still tingling. Those goddamn chrysanthemums needed water. You abruptly stood, Cordelia’s hands falling from your lap.

You all but yanked the watering can from the table, the water sloshing inside of it as you rushed to fill up the flowers' soil. The flowers were dying, they needed more, you cursed as the watering can ran dry. You moved over to the sink and filled the can back up before turning to water them again. Before you could reach the plant, Cordelia stood in front of you, her hands held up in almost surrender.

“You’re going to drown them, Y/N.” Her voice was soft against your aching brain but your chest still felt constricted. The lump was still there. Cordelia, the lump was still there. 

‘They’re dying, they need more water,” It sounded more like a question than a statement, just breathy enough to make Cordelia worry more. She carefully reached for the watering can, and when she took it, quickly set it down before opening her arms for you. You wanted desperately to hold her, but those chrysanthemums would not leave you alone. You had given them water, but they needed more. Cordelia wouldn’t let you give them more. They were dying, you swear. Your hands moved to cup your face, needing to block out the flowers. But, their wilting image stuck in your head until you all but growled, moving quickly past Cordelia.

The pot stood no chance as you smashed it. As the soil spilled out of the pot, the broken clay mixed with the living flowers. They didn’t look thirsty anymore. They looked wounded. Their petals shined against the water on the ground as their wilted image faded into one of distress. They weren’t dying but now you’d killed them. You rushed forward to save the flowers but Cordelia’s guiding hands stopped you, holding tight onto your hands as she spoke again.

“Stop.” It wasn’t a question. Cordelia helped you over the broken pot before sitting you on the stool again, it dug uncomfortably into you as the flowers whined in your ear from the ground. Cordelia wiped some tears off your cheeks, her calloused fingers brushing gently over the flushed skin. You didn’t even know you were crying.

“I don’t know why we have them, they remind me of a fucking funeral.” the words left your mouth with a bite. It wasn’t aimed towards Cordelia and she knew it. She also knew what the chrysanthemums had done to you. She shushed you before wrapping her arms around your back, pulling you into an embrace. The chrysanthemums protest left your eyes as you forced them shut. 

Your hands moved to the back of Cordelia's sun dress, digging into the fabric as you breathed deeply into her shoulder. They were still there, lying on the floor, but if you closed your eyes you didn’t have to face them. 

“I am not dying now, Y/N,” She mumbled into your hair and all you could think of was how she said the word ‘now.’ The chrysanthemums were dying now, 

The word spiraled through your mind until Cordelia pulled back, her eyes slightly glossy as she moved another strand of hair from your face. She kissed your forehead, protesting at the slight temperature, before pulling back with her hands resting on your shoulders.

“Stop that. My time will come, as all of ours do,” Cordelia gave a glance to the chrysanthemums on the ground. “But I will not have you work yourself into a mess. Into making a mess.” Cordelia reprimanded, needing you to hear her. She poked your forehead to emphasize  “I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I am out here,” her voice was calm, as if she wasn’t talking about her own demise, and it soothed you slightly. Cordelia wasn’t ruminating over this. But, then again, she doesn’t have to live without her. “I am out here, right here, right now. We have time.” ‘we have time" Something clicked inside of you. Something that had been missing as Cordelia continued to speak. The chrysanthemums weren’t dying til you pulled them over the edge. Til you worried them to death. They had time until you spent it worrying. Your own thoughts block her out and she can tell you aren’t listening but she continues to whisper against the air. You had time to process this. You had time to grieve. You didn’t have to do it now. In fact, it would take time if you did. The chrysanthemums would be there. You didn’t have to do all of it now. You shouldn’t do it now. You had Cordelia now, she would help you water them. You had Cordelia right now. You can feel a weight lifted from your shoulders as you take in a deep breath. You had Cordelia now. Your chest still hurt and your hands were just beginning to not tingle. Your breaths started to space out as your throat became raw with the new air flow. You had time.

“-now, let's re-pot the chrysanthemums and call it a day. They’ve have a rough one. “Cordelia smiled as she saw you trying to hide a smile thinking of just being with her. But, you first had to water the chrysanthemums with Cordelia (after you found them a better pot to grow).

—

—

—

Mallory hadn’t done anything wrong, but now that you’ve had time to process you can’t help but be angry with her. She was the reason Cordelia was going to die. Mallory. As the meeting went on, you couldn’t help sending a glare her way. Zoe whispered something in her ear before Mallory turned her head towards you with furrowed brows. A frown on her lips as she studied your frown. You turned away.

The meeting progressed and blah blah blah, you weren’t paying attention. Something was said about a field trip but you were too busy thinking of ways to avoid Mallory at all cost. You didn’t have to be hateful to her, you just had to not be around her. You couldn’t break the pot, it would only make it worse. By the end of the meeting everyone had had their ear talked off and quickly exited the room. You moved towards the door with the rest of the group before a voice called you. You thought of pretending not to hear her at first but deciding against it for lack of better reasoning.

Mallory caught up to walk with you, silence being the middleman for a few moments before she spoke up.

“Are you alright? I haven’t stepped on any toes, have I?” Mallory questions with the same furrowed brow from earlier. She placed her hand on your shoulder gently. It burned your skin. 

“Don’t, please,” you said as you shook off her hand. Her touch was a deadly nightshade to you, feeling like poison on your skin. She apologized before silence came back between you two. The walls of the hall passed by too slowly as each step was met with more silence.

Eventually, you reached the staircase and before you could descend Mallory stopped you once again with a hand on your shoulder. You turned back towards her with an unamused expression before she spoke as you shook her off again. 

“What did I do?” She questioned bluntly, tired of the chase. Her eyes shone with kindness, a need to know how to fix what she’d done, but you could only see crocodile tears. Your words pounced at her.

“You stand there as if you aren’t killing my girlfriend. You look me in the eyes as if Cordelia isn't just some victim to you. She means something to me.” This time, you don’t try to hold back. Cordelia might not be dying right now, but soon she would be. And Mallory being here only proved it. Maybe you could find some peace if the next Supreme wasn’t always looking you in the eyes. Maybe you could find some peace if she wasn't wandering the same halls Cordelia had to say goodbye to. Maybe.

“She saved me, saved all of us. This was the deal, I had nothing to do with it. Cordelia saved us. She means the world to me.” The venom in her voice wasn’t surprising. You knew a confrontation would lead to it. But what you didn't account for was her words having an impact on you. ‘Cordelia saved us’ repeated like a mantra in your head, ricocheting through your skull. You stared at Mallory with your mouth slightly agape, for once having no words for her despite earlier having a whole monologue of hatred. That wasn’t who you were. None of this was.

As an act of mercy, Mallory nodded towards you, locking eyes for a moment, before walking off and leaving you hanging onto the banister. You had broken the pot. 

—

—

—

You’d felt terrible all day since the confrontation. Cordelia had saved everyone when deciding her fate and now you were blaming her inevitable death on Mallory. It didn’t seem right that you had thought to meet her kind eyes with scornful ones and yet you did. 

Cordelia lounged on bed as you got ready for the night. She had been keeping a closer eye on you since the green house so she hadn't missed the way  your eyes didn’t shine with your smile. She waited for you to be dressed and in before pulling the covers over you both, turning to face you.

“What happened today?” Cordelia's fingers loosely laced with yours, resting on your stomach as you faced the ceiling. Your palm grew slightly clammy at the thought of telling Cordelia what you had said. You swallowed thickly before turning to face her, her hand falling from yours and resting on your hip.

“I went off on Mallory and I feel horrible,” your hand started to trace the little flower design on Cordelia's hip from her nightgown. You refused to meet her eyes as you continued.

“I blamed her for your-” the words stuck in your throat, afraid to come out. Cordelia had comforted you in the green house and spoke those words and nothing changed. Nothing changed, you tell yourself.

“I told her she was to blame for your fate. That because of her you were going to die. And-” Cordelia listened intently, her hand resting firm on your hip as you spoke. The words were trying harder and harder to come out but the lump in your throat made it difficult. You knew why you had lashed out at Mallory and it wasn’t her fault. The flowers didn’t need any more water. 

“I just wish I had met you at a better time,” you cry out softly, tears coating your waterline as you move the hand from Cordelia to wipe at your eyes. You had limited time with Cordelia and it wasn’t fair, but it wasn’t fair to blame anyone else either. The tears burned your cold cheeks as they made their way down. Cordelia quickly enveloped you in her arms, shushing you as you cried. Her embrace felt like a solace you had been searching for. Her hands rubbed up your shoulder blades as she kissed the side of your head. Her sweet, soft lips. Cordelia was right here. 

“I know. Me too, baby. Me too.” Cordelia's voice barely registered in your mind as your thoughts spiraled. The pot had been broken, the flowers were on the ground, Cordelia would die. But, she wasn’t dying now. She had helped you pick up the broken pot and rehome the flowers. She would help you do it again and you would help her now. It wasn’t fair to her, either, but she was here now. Cordelia was here. And you would pick up the mess together. 

The world would eventually take all its time back but you would gladly give all of yours for a few more with Cordelia. You just wished you had met at a better time.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

🌿 Help Us Find Peace Amid the Chaos 🌿

Hello, friends.

My name is Mohammed, and I'm reaching out from a place of unimaginable hardship. My family, like so many others in Gaza, is struggling to survive each day. The conflict has taken a heavy toll on our lives, leaving us to face a grim reality, our home has been destroyed, and we are left with nowhere safe to go. 😔

I am the father of three beautiful children, and as a parent, nothing is more painful than watching your kids grow up, surrounded by fear and destruction. Mirn, Bark, and Mariar are the light of my life, but they've never known the joy of running through a park without fear, or playing freely like children should. ❤️

We've reached a point where staying here is no longer an option. The walls that once sheltered us now stand in ruins, and hope for a safe future is fading fast. We dream of rebuilding, not just our home, but our lives, somewhere free from the daily fear of war, where my children can sleep peacefully and smile again. 🕊️

But we need your help to make this dream a reality. Your support means more than just money, it's a lifeline. It's a chance for us to begin again.

Every Act of Kindness Brings Us Closer to Safety. Your compassion can help us escape this nightmare. We are asking for your support, no matter how small, to help us start fresh, away from the violence, away from the rubble, and toward a place where my family can heal and grow. Every dollar you contribute is a step toward hope. 🙏

Thank you for standing with us in these difficult times. Your kindness can help us rebuild our lives and find peace again. ❤️‍🩹

With sincere gratitude,

Mohammed and Family

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Fixer Upper Part Three (Melissa Schemmenti x reader)

The day has worn on Y/N and even Melissa has seemed to notice.

A/N: i apologize for any formatting issues

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  The most pressing thing Y/n has tried to help Melissa with, is her double classes. Y/n had contacted the school board, spoke with Ava about possible budget changes (though, Melissa would have hated it if that were the case) and even tried to convince an Addington teacher to switch over with the expense of a pay cut (a desperate and last ditch effort) . It seems all avenues Y/n went through, none led to a successful outcome.  

Meanwhile, while Y/n spent her days trying to help Melissa, Melissa now had a new task: finding out if Y/n is scheming something with her niceties. Melissa had grown a liking to Y/n, or rather more of a tolerance to the member of the enthusiast gang. But, that didn’t mean Y/n wouldn’t butter her up for something. Melissa knows it would be nothing malicious, but doesn’t know what she would name it. She almost thinks it could be a “crush,” but only chuckles at the thought.

Walking into the teachers lounge, Melissa notices two things: Y/N looking worse for wear, and a mess of police tape around the coffee machine. Melissa takes her seat, setting her things down on the table.

“What’s up with you?” She throws over her shoulder before turning to face Y/n. Y/n faces Melissa with a sigh.

“End of the year reports,” Y/n says before taking a sip of her coffee- out of a paper cup that looks rather familiar. But, Melissa stares at it only for a moment before speaking.

“I know ya’ have more than a month for that, you gonna tell me or not?” Melissa sighs and waits a moment for anything other than silence. A too long silence passes before Melissa rolls her eyes, turning to her phone.

The lounge remains silent until everyone else piles in a minute later. Janine takes her seat next to Y/n, fixing a smile her way before seeing the defeat in her eyes. “End of the year reports stressing you, too?” Janine questions with a sympathetic nod.

At Janine’s sentence, Melissa turns around, “Yous started those,” Janine looks towards Melissa with raised brows.

“Of course?” Janine replies surprised that not everyone had.

After hearing Janine’s response, Y/n perks up, happy her excuse has defense.

“Yeah,” Y/N comments with a little more confidence. Melissa looks at both women with a confused expression furrowing her brows before deciding her time would be better used for some other meaningless morning task.

---

---

Y/N’s fingers were sore, her brain was fried, and now she had made a mistake she would surely regret by the end of the week. Y/N had talked Ava into splitting Melissa’s double class with another second grade teacher. She knew Amy, said teacher, would soon be marching to her desk with more than a few ugly things to say. Y/N had told a slight lie to Ava, saying Amy was more than willing to take on more students. She nearly got on her knees and begged Ava to switch up the classes, and Ava was surprisingly reluctant. She is slightly convinced Ava only agreed to the switch to teach her a lesson, knowing the other woman also had an inkling of Y/N’s little crush.

Y/N’s head rested in her palms as she leaned her elbows against her desk and a headache brewed. She felt too hot, even in her short sleeves, and she could almost swear her forehead felt a little warm. She hoped she wasn’t getting sick but she knew that the stress was getting to her body. Just as she was ready to face the day, lift her head high, and finish her reports, Amy walked through the office. A nearly audibly groan left Y/N’s lips before she was able to snuff it out.

Amy walked up Y/N’s desk and the next few moments were a barricade of insults and nasty words.

---

---

Y/N’s eyelids felt like weights as her shoulders hunched over her desk completing paper. The last bell of the day rang and all the students rushing out just caused Y/N’s head to pulse more. It felt like someone dropped a paperweight inside her skull as each set of feet hit the ground. She had skipped lunch to nap in her car but yet the headache still prevailed. A sigh of relief left Y/N’s lips as soon as the last of the students made it outside. She rested her head on her forearms and now definitely felt a fever coming on.

A loud familiar voice rings out not more than a few moments later causing another ring to sound through her head. Melissa made her way into the main office, ready to foil whatever plan you had been working on. A twinge of something went through Melissa, one she was sure to ignore now, when she saw the state Y/N was in. To Melissa, the woman looked worse for wear with her tired eyes and slouched shoulders. Melissa was quick, though not too quick she reassured herself, to plant her feet in front of her desk before speaking in a tone she considered gentle.

“You look like the Eagles just lost against the Cowboys,” Melissa’s tone takes on a harsher note at the mention of the Cowboys (don’t mention the Cowboys, Y/N notes even in her sickened state) but nonetheless sounds softer than normal.

Melissa reached over the desk and placed the back of her palm against Y/N’s forehead and was relieved to not feel the warmth of a fever, but that only made her eyebrows furrow. Melissa had no idea why she cared so much at the sickly state Y/N looked in but her heart constricted in her chest at the thought that you were coming down with something. Melissa chalked it up to her appreciation for the speech. However, before Melissa could speak anymore, Ava waltzed out of her office.

“Melissa-” Melissa’s worried brow creased more as Ava told her about her class transfer, especially when told she was sending most of her class to one of the bitchiest teachers , and it finally made some sort of sense. The coffee cup from this morning was now fresh in her mind, but priority number one was whatever the hell was wrong with you right now.

As soon as Ava walked off, an almost scowl painted itself onto Melissa’s face. She wasn’t angry but the conclusion she had reached had her feeling a way she couldn’t describe, so her only option was to block it out. Why was Y/N doing all this for her? And why was it making her feel some kind of way? Melissa did not have the strength to deal with it after thinking all day about what Y/N could want, but she did have the strength to make sure you at least got home okay.

“I don’t know your end game or what you have planned to throw at me, but when I find out-” Melissa stops herself mid-sentence when Y/N looks up at her, her eyes slightly glazed and her face paler than normal and another twinge shoots through her chest. Melissa found it hard to lay out a threat to her. Oh god.

“Come on.” Melissa’s sentence was not a question, it was a command, so quickly Y/N stood up and grabbed her bag, a slight pang going through her head at the same time a flutter echoed in her stomach. Two fools.

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The drive to Y/N’s apart felt longer than it should have. The air in the car felt thick as Melissa focused on the road. For most of the trip, Y/N had been watching the passing of the familiar landmarks but as soon as they passed the coffee shop that Melissa frequented, her attention shifted away as if Melissa could read her mind. Soon, her eyes were drawn to Melissa as she drove. Her hands gripping the wheel lightly as she breathed softly against the heat in car, just now getting warm enough. Her freckled skin, Y/N even found her eyes focused on Melissa’s pores. As if Melissa could feel the heat of Y/N’s gaze, she turned her eyes from the road for a moment to put a question on her face.

Y/N’s mouth would not form any syllables, her tongue weighted down by her nervous thinking. Melissa bit back a smile with a short chuckle before focusing back on the road. The inside of Y/N’s stomach started to somersault.

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“I would say to come in but I think I'll just pass out,” Y/N found her words on the welcome mat in front of her door. When the road marks started to spell home she had left Melissa to her driving while she thought about why she was doing this.

When Y/N had done the good deeds for Melissa it was a pull inside of her. Whenever she would see Melissa stressed or upset, her heart would ache with a pang of guilt. Y/N saw the most in Melissa and to see her suffering, even the tiniest bit, sent a feeling of service through Y/N. All the thoughts she had would wander back to Melissa and how she could rein in her struggles. Her brain could not go a day without fixating on something of Melissa. One day its the accent that drips from her tongue, the next its an eyelash that had the luck to fall on her cheek. How she wishes she could kiss it off and make a wish.

Even now, on her front stoop, Y/N is completely enamored by the way the light has shone Melissa hair auburn. The blue sky outside was a stark contrast to the raging storm inside of Y/N’s head, but even through the thunder of her brain, Melissa found a way through.

“Just get some rest, kid,” Melissa said the word 'kid' as if it didn't send a steel blade through Y/N’s chest. The veil of peace in her mind soon thundered as loud as her headache, shaking until it crumbled right down into her stomach. There was no chance there for Y/N, the fantasy was just that: a fantasy. Melissa had decades on Y/N and Y/N had a broken heart on Melissa.

Y/N’s head nodded mechanically as her mouth struggled to form any more words. ‘I’ll blame the headache’ mantra-ed in her head as Melissa turned to leave.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Soft (Audrey Tindall x reader)

Audrey danced around the living room to the beat of whatever song was playing on the Bluetooth, you had long stopped listening to watch the sway of her hips as she smiled at you.

A/N: cooked this one up

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Audrey danced around the living room to the beat of whatever song was playing on the Bluetooth, you had long stopped listening to watch the sway of her hips as she drunkenly smiled at you. She brings you back to reality as she reaches out for you and you take her devious hands as she wrapped them tightly around yours to bring you closer to her. She spun you around clumsily as she giggled into the warm air. Your face was flushed and the bottle(s?) of wine coursed through your body. You were nearly seeing double of Audrey as she brought you into her arms with her hands resting over your shoulders and swayed along with you to the upbeat rhythm.

Audrey whispered something in your ear that you didn't hear as you placed you hands on her hips to guide her in a drunken dance. The alcohol burned through your veins as you laughed loudly with her before crashing your lips together in a kiss that was more teeth than lip. She giggled again before pushing you back onto the cushion of the couch and straddling your thighs. She shifted to get comfortable before throwing her hands behind your head to pull you into another clumsy kiss. Your hands traveled up her her sides, up and down, as you meet her with the same eagerness. The moment didn’t last long as the Bluetooth beeped for more battery. Audrey pulled away with a laugh looking ethereal in the yellow light beaming in from the kitchen- the only light on in the house frustratingly blinding you with her shadow.

You brushed some of her golden hair out of her face as she leaned her head towards your lips but before she could make contact, you licked the tip of her nose with a giggle. The neighbors were sure to have complaints come morning with the noise you were making. You loved her laugh.

Audrey wrinkled up her nose, the alcohol glossing her eyes as she leaned forward in a hungry kiss. Your teeth clinked again and again and her hands were greedy to reach the skin underneath your shirt but were hindered by your own hands trying desperately to reach hers, you both becoming a tangle of limps.

Eventually, you stop the cat and mouse by standing up with Audrey still held sloppily in your arms. Audrey gasped lightly before wrapping her legs around your waist and grabbing the back of your head in her hands, drunkenly holding on with a goofy smile. You grip underneath her thighs, pulling her more securely against you as you turn towards the hallway. You stumble for the first few steps, pulling a few more chuckles from Audrey as you struggled like a newborn deer with first time legs.

Reaching the wall of the hall, you stumble slightly, pushing Audrey against as she begins to press chaste kisses down your throat. She breaths into your skin as she smiles, the kisses becoming sloppy as you regain your balance and make your way down the hall.

After a few more stumbles and chuckles from Audrey (who had surely left numerous hickeys already) you make it to the bed before all but dumping her onto it. Audrey doesn’t have time to react before you straddle her and smile goofy back at her. She bites the smile off of her lips as her hands work to pull your shift off, you lift your arms as she sits up to get the shirt over your hand and immediately push her back down as she tosses your shirt somewhere to find in the morning. Audrey pulls you down into another clashing kiss before pushing you back to switch your positions.

Her hands push you back into the bed as she straddles you, taking no time to reach for the hem of her sundress and pull it over her head before taking a seat on your thighs. The air is filled with warmth and the slight hum of the remaining battery on the Bluetooth, the song is unrecognizable but tomorrow it will be stuck in your head unknowingly. Audrey wastes no time pushing your arms above your head, holding them there as she caresses the crook of your neck with her lips. A soft whine leaves you as she continues to barely place her lips onto your skin. She smirks into your skin, her lips feeling like feathers.

“Please, ah-, Audrey,” You beg, needing her lips on you. She finally gives in hearing your plea and she places a tickling kiss onto your throat. Despite how turned on you are, the tickle sends you into a giggling fit as the alcohol takes more effect over your body. Audrey pulls back with her mouth open in confusion as you continue to giggle. Her eyebrows furrows before a hidden smile breaks her lips and she starts to giggle as well. She shifts on your thighs, causing a shiver to run down your body and meet your core. She releases one of your hands to cover her smile but you quickly reach up to remove it, loving the way her teeth show as she laughs. She bites her tongue to stop the fit but its no use when shes thinking about the situation. She found it as hilarious as you did, still laughing as you both stare at each other.

She releases you other hand to rest her weight onto it as she looses strength to hold herself up. Her stomach hurting.

Your hands travel to hold her against you by her waist as you lean up to press light kisses to her neck between fits.

Eventually, both of you are able to calm down, Audrey moving to lay beside you as her chest rises rapidly, out of breath. That alone sends her into another fit thinking again of the situation. You turn your head to face her, watching in awe as she closes her eyes and her mouth curves up unto a silly smile as the noise leaves her lips. You loose track of how long you stare at her but you cut back in when suddenly her head is facing towards you with a gentle smile, catching you staring. Your lips fight back against an embarrassed smile as your eyes move to her flushed cheeks.

She was so beautiful.

“You are so beautiful.” The words leave her mouth like a spell, drawing you back into her as she caught her lip between her teeth and let it go.

Your breath caught as you watched her lip bounce back and you all but leaped onto her. She laughed again into the hungry kiss as she all but gnawed at your lips. The air between you becomes thick enough to pull away and both your lips are nearly swollen from the others attack. Her smile nearly blinds you for the nth time tonight as her hand creeps up and down your hip and waist in slow strokes.

A few moments felt like seconds between you two, and eventually the air thinned out and the warmth of the alcohol had you shimming out of your shorts before pulling Audrey into you. Just as fast as the laughs had come, sleep was. Audrey’s eyes had begun to close, her eyes nearly only peeking at you through her lashes. Your cheeks began to hurt from all the smiling causing you to place a sweet kiss to her forehead to stretch your lips, making a loud ‘mwah’. The kiss rings through the room as you giddily pull back to see the sleepy glee on her face. You were comfortable, you felt loved, and thus the night ended the same it began: in each others arms.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

i love you, im sorry

Audrey was meant to be a star but what does that mean for you?

Trigger Warnings: Unhealthy relationship, hurt no comfort,

A/N: wrote this last night in a mood (embarrassed emoji)

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“My whole life is here, Audrey.” Audrey wanted to leave, she needed to leave, and a three year relationship wouldn’t stop her. How could it? she had her whole life ahead of her and three years wasn’t enough to stop that.

“Mine is out there, Y/N.” Audrey’s rebuttal was no surprise. Was it selfish? Could she forgive herself later on? Who was wrong?

Hands in your hair, head held down, there was nothing left to say. You couldn’t make her stay and she couldn’t make you leave. In retrospect, maybe you both should have never stuck it out.

“No, don’t do that. Look at me , Y/N.” The command in her voice was broken by the lump in her throat, drying her out. The kitchen light illuminated the room too bright, the ugly yellow making the room look like an interrogation. The light had never looked like that before.

You moved your hands from your hair, your face coming into view: stained with stressed and wet trails. You couldn’t stand to see Audrey so undone, her hair tussled wildly, her eyes rubbed red, it wasn’t who she was and you had caused it. You never should have entered this relationship.

Your hands reached on your own, heading to fix Audrey’s hair before she grabbed it gently and placed it back onto the counter.

“Don’t.” She hated herself the same way you did yourself but she wanted you to see the way you had distressed her. You. You had done this. It was always your fault. Audrey was going to make sure you saw that the same way she saw the tears trailing your face and the snot poking from your nose. Your hair was a mess and she wasn’t going to touch it. Audrey never should have entered this relationship.

“God, why didn’t you tell me. Why did you let me?” You thought Audrey to be a star, to be so unreachable by the world that she didn’t need to leave. She could be a star and people would stop for her, they would give the world to her. She wasn’t a star, yet. She had to work, she had to leave, you had only idolized her. Audrey’s stomach twisted at the gloss covering your eyes still, the quiver of your bottom lip. She knew how you saw her, loved the way you’d place her so high. She knew it was wrong. But you did too. You hated her at times, going days with disdain for her, days with a short temper only to mask it later with undivided attention. She loved the cat and mouse is what you thought. You thought a lot.

Audrey had no words left to say. She let out a tired sigh before her head shook. Everyone loved her and it wasn’t fair. Audrey was your star, Audrey was your baby. You gave her all you could and still couldn’t blame her for wanting more. You should have never entered this relationship.

“Y/N.” The words fells from her lips, hitting your ears with a thud. Your name banged around your head for a moment, sending a chill through your chest. She was talking to you and you were tired. This conversation was the most you’d heard your name from her in days. This was about you. It almost seemed foreign the way the situation played out. You loved her, you would do anything for her, but you wouldn’t leave. You wouldn’t change. Why couldn’t you change?

The cold counter had warmed in the spot your hand had been left but when you put the hand to your mouth it was cold as ice.

“Please, just go.” You didn’t need space, you needed her to leave. You needed to clear your throat. Audrey shifted.

“I can’t stay here, my life is out there.” She repeated the words as if nailing them in would fix this. The sun had long set on this conversation.

The dark outside the window was ominous and telling. There was nothing left to discuss for either of you. You were stuck here and she was breaking free. You loved her so much that your heart was constricting and still. It felt like a giant hole carved into your chest. You hated the feeling. She loved you still.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning. Please.” Audrey was always right and you knew it. Audrey always got mad when you agreed with her, she wanted you to make a decision. Or maybe she just wanted you to be your own person. Audrey could not be someone for both of you and she could feel the anger radiating from you when you wouldn’t speak up. Audrey was always right. Audrey should have never entered this relationship.

“I love you.” Those three words were watered with emotion and yet your eyes weren’t shiny anymore. You knew she was right and you wished you had been able to make the decision yourself but everything inside of you was sticky with resentment. Resentment for the situation, resentment towards yourself for making it a situation, resentment for the world spinning, resentment, resentment, resentment.

“I know,” Audrey watched your eyes cast down and your lip trapped between your teeth. She knew if you looked at her again tonight your eyes would be red and the wet trails would be back. She loved you but her voice wouldn’t be able to convey that. Those words would choke her tonight. The same way any others had you.

Audrey moved to leave, hesitating for a moment, before placing a soft kiss agaisnt your forehead as she softly patted by you. She stayed a moment next to you, knowing you wouldn’t look up at her but hoping you would. There was no hope tonight. Maybe in the morning when the sun beats through the curtains in your bedroom. Maybe when the yellow sunlight illuminated your face through the cracks. Maybe when the kitchen light didn’t need to be on. Maybe when the sun shone. Maybe It was just too dark tonight.

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Fixer Upper Part Two (Melissa Schemmenti x reader)

The coffee machine is fixed and Gregory has won educator of the year! But, Melissa has to write his congratulations speech on top of her double classes. Only one solution...

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The following day, the news found its way into Abbott- in honor of Gregory’s educator of the year award. Unlucky for Melissa, they chose her to present the award, adding more stress onto the older woman. She’s already stuck with two classes for the year.

After hearing of Melissa’s bad luck, Y/n set to work coming up with a speech about Gregory, but given his own inability to compliment his self and Melissa’s idea of re-gifting, she has her work set out for her.

A few moments after sitting down at her desk, Jacob rushes up to her, slightly out of breath.

“Y/n, Melissa is acting very strange around me and I am worried she might try to attack me.” Jacob says looking around as if she could be around any corner.

“Jacob, what?” Y/n questions with a worried smiled. Jacob moves around the desk and leans onto it before answering

“Ever since this morning she’s been giving me approving looks here and there and I am worried she is buttering me up so it will take me by surprise when she attacks.” Jacob whispers out. Y/n has to hold in a laugh looking at his worried face, knowing now what he is talking about.

“Jacob, if i tell you this you have to promise to keep it to yourself.” Jacob’s face drops from fear to a small frown as he leans in

“I won’t tell a soul.” He promises. Y/n knows better than to believe him but hopefully he will only tell Janine. If not, maybe she is slightly fucked.

As Jacob leans into listen, Y/n tells him about her run to Melissa’s favorite coffee shop yesterday and the note she left on her car with a forged signature. Jacob’s face breaks out into a giddy smile as she finishes her sentence.

“Oh my god, you are crushing hard.” Jacob gushes as he crosses his arms, leaning back on the desk. Y/n slaps his arm.

“Shut up. There is nothing wrong with being nice to someone.” She replies.

“I think you exceed being nice burning up your fingers on a coffee machine for Melissa.” Jacob jokes, backing off from the desk.

“I did that for everyone!” Y/n mumbles to him.

“Yeah? What’re you working on now?” Jacob questions as he goes to look at the speech Y/n is currently working on. She quickly turns it over before sending a glare Jacobs way.

“I kinda wish Melissa was gonna beat you up now.” Jacob raises his hands in surrender before walking out of the office.

Y/n lets out a sigh before flipping the paper back over and scanning her work. She didn’t have a crush on Melissa, she’s pretty sure she’s too far deep for that. Plus, she is grown woman, and grown woman don’t have crushes (she definitely has a crush on Melissa).

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Lunch time arrives at Abbott and Melissa finds her seat next to Barbara and starts grading some of her classes work, needing to take this time in order to be able to finish both classes in a timely manner. As the teachers fill in to the breakroom, Jacob walks up to Melissa and she raises an eyebrow in his direction.

“You’re welcome, Melissa.” He says giddily before taking his seat. Melissa sighs before nodding her head toward him. Jacob’ll take what he can get, and that is all he will get. Melissa turns back to her phone, taking a break from the mountain she has left, before she turns back towards Jacob, having noticed Y/n’s absence for the second day in a row.

“Hey, Hill, where’s the other one of ya’?” Melissa asks, looking toward the empty seat beside Janine, who also looks up at the question. Jacob pauses for a moment “uh-” he starts but gets cut off from the door opening. Jacob lets out a breath of relief seeing Y/n walk in as he turns back to his conversation with Janine.

“You weren’t here yesterday and you were late today, what are ya up to?” Melissa raises her eyebrow up at her, suspicious.

“I just forgot my lunch in my car,” Y/n lifts up her lunch bag and takes her seat. Melissa stares a little longer before Jacob butts in.

“You never worry about anyone else who’s late.” Jacob whines, slightly offended. Melissa levels him with a glare before Janine pipes up as well.

“Seems like you like Y/n.” Janine jokes smiling. Her smile fading when Melissa moves her glare towards her.

“I just noticed it, pipsqueak.” Melissa tuts, taking a glance at Y/n who’s smiling down at her lunch. Melissa gives Janine and Jacob one more Schemmenti glare, returning to her phone once again. Barbara barely catches a small smile.

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“-cause you can’t choose when people acknowledge you. This is your moment.” After searching the school for Melissa, running short on time to get the speech to her, Y/n overhears Melissa’s encouragement to Gregory in his classroom. The cameras outside the room zoom into Y/n waiting outside the door and then back to Melissa and Gregory’s conversation. As they continue their conversation, Y/n recalls all the times Melissa has gone without acknowledgement, and although everyone does, it just doesn’t seem right that a woman who does so much for the students and school doesn’t get the acknowledgement she deserves.

Y/n is brought out of her thoughts as Gregory makes his way out of the classroom, Melissa following behind.

“Hey, Melissa,” Y/n shouts, catching up in pace with her and handing her the speech. Melissa looks at the paper suspiciously for a moment before turning her gaze to the younger woman.

“What’s this?” Melissa starts to look over the paper. eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“I know you were struggling to write the speech, so I thought I would help you out a little and write a small one. You already have so much to deal with, with two classes, and I just thought I would be able to take some of that stress away. I’m sorry if I-” Y/n’s rambling is cut off by Melissa’s hand on her shoulder.

“Hun, I can handle it. You don’t need to worry ‘bout me. But,” Melissa looks around and seeing the halls empty continues “Thank you. I appreciate it. This whole thing has been a shitshow.” Melissa jokes, smirking at the younger woman.

“Yeah, no problem. Only took a few minutes.” Y/n brushes off the praise, even though it did take going through Gregory’s work file (which Ava had yet to update) and a short snoop session through his desk to find something to fill the lines.

“Thanks, hun.” Melissa lifts the paper up with a smile and a nod before starting to walk toward the gym.

“Melissa,” Y/n calls out before she can get too far.

“Huh?” Melissa turns back and raises an eyebrow for Y/n to finish.

“I just-,” Y/n cuts herself off, trying to find the words, before taking a breath and meeting Melissa’s eyes, “I notice you, Melissa. You’re a great teacher and I- You deserve a lot more acknowledgement, that’s all. But, for whatever its worth, I notice you.” Y/n bites her lip, waiting only a moment for a reply, before fleeing down the hall.

Melissa watches Y/n down the hall, a realization kicking in as she turns into the gym.

*She’s never told Jacob about her favorite coffee shop*

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Fixer Upper (Melissa Schemmenti x reader)

Great, the coffee machine broke. It's burned Melissa's hand and ruined the day for most teachers- wait, it burned Melissa's hand. Y/n won't let that pass.

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It started with the broken coffee pot. Melissa had burnt her hand on the coffee pot on Friday morning and Mr. Johnson had placed a yellow caution tape ‘X’ over the whole machine by that afternoon. Melissa and Barbara were on their way out of the school, heading down the stairs from the breakroom, when they were joined by the semi-new addition to the school thanks to Ava’s budgeting: the school office manager. Ava had hired her after the printer incident claiming it was necessary to keep the budget ‘budgeting’ and her online presence active. Though she wouldn’t admit it, Melissa had grown a quite fond of the younger woman.

Both of the older women nod in greeting as they continue their conversation.

“I hate to say it, but I guess” Melissa hesitates slightly before sighing “I missed Janine a little.” Melissa finishes her sentence in a whisper before turning toward the younger woman, “I never said that, capisce?”

Y/N raises her hands in mock offense before smiling slightly “Never heard a word,” she promises as she lightly bumps Melissa’s shoulder with her own. The red head smirks before meeting Barbara’s knowing eyes wipes it clean.

“What’s got you not missing Janine? Jacob not offer enough entertainment today?” Y/n questions, unaware of Barbara’s revelations.

Melissa lifts up her wrapped right hand palm up before answering, “Abbot’s state of the art coffee pot’s leaking’,” Y/N had noticed Mr. Johnsons handy work in the break room but never stopped to question it: Abbot was falling apart in some, most, places.

“We wouldn’t have asked, but we know Janine would have tried to at least eliminate some of the hazard.” Barbara added as she pushes open the door and passes the weight to Melissa, who holds it open for Y/N, as the three women step outside into the early spring air.

“Creating’ a new problem along with it, no doubt,” Melissa adds playfully as she lets go of the door and joins the others on the steps.

“Maybe she’s not so much creating a problem but finding it…” Y/N slips into her defense. Janine had been the most welcoming towards her when she first started and helped her around here and there. Janine was open with her enthusiasm and handiness, even if sometimes it was not so handy, and that was admirable to Y/N. It was not surprise they became fast work buddies- Janine even sometimes stopping by Y/N’s desk outside of Ava’s office for lunch.

“Anyway, I forgot something on my desk. I’ll see ya Monday.” Y/N adds before turning back into the building. Melissa watches the door close behind her before turning towards Barbara.

“Was it something I said?” She jokes as the two make their way to their cars.

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Monday morning Melissa walks into the lounge to see Mr. Johnsons mess of police tape missing from the machine. Eyeing the machine, she sits in her usual seat awaiting Barbara. As she’s pulling out papers to look over, Ava waltzes into the room and towards the machine. Curious, Melissa doesn’t try to warn Ava of the possibly-broken machine.

“No warning? You know I need these hands Olay commercial perfect,” Ava turns towards the cameras before continuing “not that I use anything other than Cold-men products.” She winks before focusing back onto pouring her coffee.

Melissa deadpans the camera returning to her papers.

“No need, anyway. I never risk my hand health, Janine probably snuck her little rat-ass in over the weekend because its fixed.” Ava says as she begins to pour her temple of sugar into the bitter beverage, taking her leave.

Before Melissa could focus too much on it, Y/N enters the lounge followed by Janine. The red heads attention is quickly placed onto the younger woman as she takes her place next to Janine in front of the vending machine. The camera zooms into Melissa’s face before panning over to Y/N’s and back again only to be caught by the Italian herself and met with a stare.

“Welcome back, Kid. Hope your fingertips are still intact.” Melissa levels at Janine who meets her with raised eyebrows.

“Why would my-” Janine begins before an elbow to the side takes her attention. She turns her head towards Y/N and furrows her brows “did I miss something important again?” Both women stare at each other for a moment too long before Janine’s eyes widen.

“Y-yeah, of course my fingertips are fine, y’know because I didn’t burn them off while I was fussing with the coffee machine. That’s not to say I didn’t burn myself, I did of course because of the heat that was coming off the machine when I was fixing it, like I do. I love to fix things, hence why I, of course, fixed the over-heating coffee machine. We, teachers, love coffee, couldn’t imagine what the day-” Janine’s rambling is cut off again by an elbow to the side. She cringes a bit at herself when she sees Melissa frown and furrowed brows. Thankfully, Barbara enters the room and takes the attention off of the two younger women. And by some god sent miracle, the situation is not brought up again. After a, slightly concerned, ‘thank you’ nod from Melissa on her way out of the lounge.

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The next incident happens not many days later, when Melissa’s car pops a tire. As Jacob tries to defend his switch to green bubbles, Janine still taken aback there is a groupchat she is not privy to, Melissa angrily huffs before tossing Jacobs phone on the floor. The phone hits the floor and Y/N enters the lounge.

“Whoa, what’s that about?’ She hesitantly asks scanning the faces in the room. Melissa huffs again before turning toward Y/N.

“Thanks to Jacob’s stupid green bubbles, I hit a pothole on the way to work. Now my tires blown.” She glares at Jacob as she finishes her sentence. Jacob raises his hands, ready to defend himself and his new phone now securely in his pocket and safely away from Melissa. Thankfully time grants Jacob some mercy as the clock warns them its nearly time for school to start.

“Got to go, we’ll talk later-” Jacob chooses peace, rushing out of the room to his classroom.

A slight silence follows his departure before Y/N turns to face Melissa, “What was that about your car?” Y/n questions as she starts to follow Melissa as she grabs her things and starts heading out the door.

“My tires blown. Lucky it didn’t send me off the road.” Melissa huffs and as the woman walk in pace to her classroom.

“With peace and love, why were you even on your phone?” Y/n chuckles and can’t help but furrow her brows. Melissa lightly their shoulders with a sarcastic ‘haha’.

“Right, the lesson we SHOULD be taking from this is the cities poor budgeting.” Y/n jokes, shaking her head before waving Melissa goodbye to get to work herself. Besides who knows how to change a tire? Triple A or some shit was needed.

As Melissa entered her room smirking slightly at the conversation, the cameras pan down the hall just in time to see Y/n rush out the doors of the school

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Since Y/n couldn’t do much about the tire, she had to go with plan B. Thus, when Melissa walked out of school the following afternoon, she was surprised when she found a gift card to her favorite coffee shop taped to her doorhandle with a sticky note attached saying ‘ sorry :( - Jacob’. She shook her head lightly before getting in.

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A/N: hope you enjoyed!

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Has To Be Enough (Audrey Tindall x reader)

It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her.

Trigger Warning: Anxiety, slight panic attack, depressive themes

A/N: enjoy!!

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It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her.

Guilt and trauma made her into a new person almost. She was still the same Audrey you knew and loved, but she wouldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t allow you to help. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise - she dealt with all her disappointment by shutting the world out, but that never included you. You should have known something would jolt the perfect fantasy you had built around yourselves. But, you wouldn’t give up on her.

She had been ignoring your calls for days until you settled for sending her supportive messages every morning and night, having the thought that maybe you were overwhelming her. She wasn’t strong enough yet to reach over and grab her phone to call you. She wasn’t only afraid you would ask too many questions, but also afraid you wouldn’t want to give her the time of day after her ignoring you. Audrey wanted desperately for you to come knocking at her door, wanting nothing more than drown her sorrows and have you tuck her in at night. She wanted to be intoxicated enough to talk, to let it out without reliving it, to confess what’s been eating at her for the last week and a half. But she couldn’t. You weren’t going to come knocking and she wasn’t drunk enough to let you in. She was only drunk enough to fall back down into a self-depreciating spiral, only deepened by her head hidden in the toilet.

Her phone beeped again from beside her, bringing her back to the current moment. Audrey groaned and the cool tile pressed into her knees enough to bruise. At least she was grounded. She had had her phone on her everyday, not being able to help herself from scrolling through every article she was in. She was still Audrey Tindal, after all. She just couldn’t separate herself from the sad stories plastered all over the news. She couldn’t let anyone see her so desperate again, not even you. She only scanned your messages when they came in, too focused on calming herself most of the time. You couldn’t blame her for not replying or reaching out- you had seen the stories and the found footage released. It was horrifying just to watch and you couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering the mere memory would bring Audrey. All you can hope is that she would accept your reaching hand, seeing it as a calming gesture rather than a pitied one. But, Audrey wasn’t worried about pity, she didn’t care for once. She was too busy stuck in those moments that only paused with a fleeting thought of calling you for comfort that was quickly followed by more violent thoughts.

Audrey groaned over the toilet bowl again lifting her head and reaching for her phone. She was close to smashing it if one more ignorant article got posted. It wasn’t an article. On her phone screen flashed your nightly message to her, expressing your concern and blah blah blah. She didn’t mean to ignore what you were saying, her head was just too full with the moment she was tied up and the ache of her gums was still present. Almost as if she wasn’t meant to forgot any of it, not a second. For a moment, she felt like a fern growing towards the sunlight. She was yearning for a moment but it quickly faded as the message dinged again on her home screen , feeling like a screech inside her skull. She dropped her phone back on the floor next to her and leaned her head onto the toilet, too busy trying not to throw up to care about germs.

You had never felt such fear when another week passed and no word for Audrey. All thoughts of support left your mind as you begin to send more worried texts, all but begging her to answer. When no word came the next night, you grew all caution to the wind and started for Audrey house. It felt invasive to show up unannounced and you were about to warn her of your plans , worried she wasn’t even checking her phone. As you picked up your phone to text, her name flashed across your screen. You had never moved as fast as you answered her call.

“Hello? Audrey?” You questioned when she didn’t speak, only her soft breathing coming through the phone. A few more seconds of silence passed before she spoke. Your patience paying off.

“Can you come over?” Was all she said, her voice rough and watery. You had never been more happy to hear her voice, disregarding any nagging questions in turn for your unquestionable support. Quiet rustling following her ask.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You barely heard her quiet reply before she hung up the phone.

Arriving at her door, you foregone knocking and entered her house - having known where the spare key hide. You didn’t feel much guilt over it as she knew you were coming. And you were almost certain she hadn’t left her bed.

Grabbing a glass of water you made your way to her room, this time knocking softly against the door paneling. She turned her head over her shoulder, locking eyes with you before turning back over. You remained quiet and set the glass for later, sitting on the bed rubbing ear arms lightly. For a moment she tensed, The touch almost burning, before she relaxed and let out a deep sigh. You took that as a sign that she was alright for a moment. That was before she turned to face you, tears making rivers down her flushed cheeks. She was trying hard enough not to cry that her cracked lips curled downward with the effort. You spook you head with furrowed brows and she nodded , a silent prayer for a moment. There was no rain outside but the sound of your own heartbeat matched it in your ears.

“You don’t need to talk,” you promised. The moon shone through the window laughing, the gray light entering the room through the gray curtains, nearly appearing blue. Or maybe that was just your mind. The sheets had ridden up at the edges and left the bed a crumbled mess. You stopped you ministrations, knowing the overwhelming feeling of suffocation she must be feeling suddenly surrounded by another person. The tension in your body rising as you refused to let your arms reach back out. She wasn’t reaching any more, but you’d be there when she could.

“I’m afraid.” She spoke a few moments later, her voice raspy from not using it. What for? She didn’t know. Maybe afraid she’d never get rid of the suffocation she felt when she thought back to Roanoke. Maybe afraid that everything would change too much, or maybe that it already had and she didn’t want this routine to keep up. Or maybe she was afraid she’d a mistake inviting you over. She didn’t know how to deal with this and maybe she knew you didn’t either, and that was all she desperately hoped for when she called you. Something to change or something to stay the same. Can’t she have both? Does she have to choose? The thought makes her clench her teeth as anger flooded her veins, red hot. She didn’t want you here and she didn’t need you here. She could suffer alone just as well as she could with you around. And the thought of your being the same only angered her more. Nothing had changed but everything had for her. It wasn’t fair and she wanted to make sure you knew that.

“”No one else has to feel this and I hate you . I hate you so much right now and i don’t know how to explain it. Just- hate.” Her words only slightly surprised you, you hated yourself a little too for not being understanding enough to help.

“You don’t mean that.” You clarified for her and that’s all it took for the dam to break. loud sobs wrecked the already distressed room. You knew now not to touch her and you respected that. She needed something to believe

“I hate you, I hate-“ she choked through sobs, her fist hitting the bed. It wasn’t about you anymore. It wasn’t about her anymore. She didn’t know what it was about anymore. She was angry and she was sad and she was being smothered by the blanket on top of her. She was breathing and it was too much at the moment, it felt freezing cold against the back of her throat- pins and needles. She was panicking but she didn’t know it anymore. Her back hurt, from lying so long or the short breathes she didn’t know. She didnt know anything anymore.

“Hey, hey. Audrey, look at me.” You commanded, knowing the harsh tone you’d taken would be the only way she would listen. She shook her head and kicked the covers off with her feet, sitting up and curling into a ball on the bed.

“Audrey, look. At. Me.” The image of you almost hurt her raw eyes, the light of the moon shining too bright behind you.

“You are here, in your room, right now. That’s it.” Your voice took on a softer note no that you had her attention.

“No worry here, no expectations, just your room” she needed space and you were going to build it for her, brick by brick if you had to. You started to list the things inside her room, her eyes following after each item as she looked around her room.

“Your sheets are coming up,” you finally said as she calmed a bit, her breathe still heavy. She looked at her sheets and shrugged. Your request for her to stand was obeyed d you searched her closet for new ones as she stood in the door, watching. You finally found some in a drawer and undressed her bed before putting them on, smoothing the creases with your hands before a making the bed and inviting her to lay onto the it before turning the fan on. She was hot with anger or choking up on her sadness. She didn’t know anymore. But she knew her room and she knew you. And that would have to be enough. Her chest still felt heavy, yet her heart was missing. It would have to be enough.

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A/N: hope you enjoyed!

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

Rainy Mornings and Kisses (Miranda Hilmarson)

Summary: Uh, oh! The window is open and rain is trickling in! Miranda is sound asleep and the sound jolts you awake. Morning fluff ensues.

A/N: never posted here

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The pounding of the rain outside wakes you as it hits the open windowsill, something you forgot to close last night before dozing off. For a moment, confusion muffles your brain before you sit up suddenly at the realization. Your feet hit the cold floor and a quiet hiss leaves your lips at the temperature. You walk on tiptoes to the window, groaning at the puddle that had formed under it before shutting it.

“Goddaamit,” you mutter before turning to head to the bathroom for a towel. Your plan is paused as soon as you turn, spotting the other body on your bed and memories of the night before play through your head: Miranda had stayed over for the first time last night and this was the first morning you spent together as a couple without the company of anyone else.

You bite the inside of your lips to block the small smile from your face. The puddle wasn’t so bad now as you think about how you two were too hot last night to sleep without the window open. Miranda continues to snore softly as you make your way to the bathroom, retrieving a towel and quickly making your way back to the window to dry the puddle.

After tossing the towel in the hamper to wash later, you crawl back into bed hoping Miranda doesn’t stir. You get comfortable quickly before slowly place your arm around Miranda and pulling her closer. Miranda mumbles something in her sleep before relaxing into you as you bury your face into her nape. The rain continues to beat outside, almost lulling you back to sleep before Miranda pops up suddenly, jerking you alert.

“Miranda?” You mumble urgently, worried something was the matter. Miranda turns to you still buried in the covers and now looking up at her from the pillows.

“The window-“ she cuts herself off after looking towards the window expecting it to be open still. She rubs her face, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes as you sit up to answer.

“I woke up earlier and closed it. Only a slight puddle,” Your voice is still hoarse from sleep as you place your hand onto Miranda’s back. Her eyes had only left yours for a second to glance at the window and now were fully locked onto you.

“Oh, my mistake,” She finished her sentence by reaching behind her to grab your hand so she can lay back down. She keeps your hand and holds it in hers on top of her stomach. She apologizes quietly and you reach your other hand down the hair off her forehead: running your fingers through it slightly to avoid any tangles from the night.

“I hadn’t got back to sleep yet anyway,” you reply before laying back down facing her, hands still held together.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep,” She speaks over the rain and shifts her head to look at you. You move to prop onto your elbow after switching the hand she was holding.

“Me neither” silence stretches on as your gaze travels over her face, taking in the relaxed features. Her eyes shine slightly still with sleep. You smile softly before leaning forward to place a soft kiss onto her forehead, watching a her cheeks start to color.

“I hate when you do that” she comments but the slight sparkling in her eyes tells you otherwise.

“Sue me.” You smile as she turns over to face you, leaning up as she presses a slow kiss to your lips in retaliation, grinning victoriously when your own cheeks brighten.

“When it rains I always think of you, y’know?” Before she can reply you continue “i think, ‘where is Miranda and is she drier than me?’. Maybe I’m just jealous that you always pack an umbrella or maybe i just hope when we get to yours or mine or wherever we end up that night that you’ll cuddle up to me, and we can listen to the rain together: warm and cozy. Stupid, right? But, you’re cozy.” You chuckle at how stupid that sounds, and yet meaning every word. You lie back down, running your hand through Miranda’s hair before she wraps her arms around you. The warmth of the morning with Miranda beside you leaving you flushed.

“Stop that.” The command in her voice is baseless, the rasp still present, more so to express her feeling the same. “I like when it rains but i prefer the sun. You might be alone in that,” she jests, understanding already that your head is too big to understand that sometimes the stupid things you say are not just words. They mean what you’re feeling. Maybe feeling isn’t so bad- around Miranda that is. You can already tell that sleep comes way too soon and mornings will pass too quickly when you’re around her.

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Hope you enjoyed!

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

[Works List]

Miranda Hilmarson

**Rainy mornings and kisses**

— Uh, oh! The window is open and rain is trickling in! Miranda is sound asleep and the sound jolts you awake. Morning fluff ensues. —

**I want a home with you**

— You don’t believe in romance movies, so how come it felt like one with Miranda? —

Audrey Tindall

**Has to be enough**

— It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her. —

**i love you, im sorry*

— Audrey was meant to be a star but what does that mean for you?

**Soft**

-- Audrey danced around the living room to the beat of whatever song was playing on the Bluetooth, you had long stopped listening to watch the sway of her hips as she smiled at you. --

Cordelia Goode

**Chrysanthemums**

--Cordelia Goode was a force of nature. She was green all year round and her words were bulbs from the most beautiful flower. She walked like she knew where to be and she spoke like she knew everyone was listening. Her hair was golden in the sunlight and her eyes were milky coffee in the moonlight. She wore her beauty as if it didn’t impact you everyday. And you were already mourning her as she sat right next to you. --

Melissa Schemmenti

**Fixer upper** Part Two ** Part Three**

— Great, the coffee machine broke. It's burned Melissa's hand and ruined the day for most teachers- wait, it burned Melissa's hand. Y/n won't let that pass. —

Hetty Woodstone

**Blue Skies and Orange suns**

— Never apart, Y/n and Hetty spend their days together. —

Sevika

**Softened**

— She nearly always came to you after beaten up, but you didn't want it any other way. A short comfort fic for Sevika. —

**Lovesick idiot**

— The smoke tickled the back of your throat, one breath in and one long sigh out. The day wore on your back, the couch a nice relief against the soreness. Sevika chuckled beside you, a grin plastered on her face as she took another drag of her cigar. —

**Silver Springs**

—The air outside The Last Drop was stale against your nostrils, it came in cold and left with a stain against the inside of your nose- the musk in the air still not something that you got used to. The glow of the undercity shined against you as you wiped another tear from your eye, red and irritated. This wasn’t the first time you’d disappeared out back to cry. Especially about Sevika. —

*Requests are open