#but end of the day it doesnt matter if it is because it's real to beau...thats my philosophy on hauntings

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[mothusband]

reminder to newcomers that if your blog has no posts, no profile picture, no header, and your blog colors aren't changed, i and most other people will take that as you being a bot and will block and report you as spam if you follow us. go to your profile and click the little paint pallette and give your blog a makeover real quick or if that's too much just change your blog title to something like "not a bot". i really recommend the makeover though because that's much more fun even if you don't want to reblog and you're just here to lurk.

[saturnsfather]

keep seeing people talk about the neurodivergent angle in i saw the tv glow and its wild to me that anyone would miss that. its not just owen, maddy is OBVIOUSLY autistic. like. the fixation on the pink opaque. regularly she refuses or has a problem maintaining eye contact, except in the scene in the planetarium where its almost Painful how constant it is. she almost never speaks with any inflection in her voice. anyone who doesnt think shes autistic is willfully ignoring the obvious signs. idk like i said ive seen people talking about it but mostly just re: owen and i think were missing maddy in the discussion

[dallonwrites]

shadow in my room where there usually isn't one and i know why it's there and what's causing it but my silly ass is like ooooo.....little ghost in my room

[skyllion-uwu]

They should invent a me that feels real and doesn't self sabotage

[tortademaracuya]

.

[arolesbianism]

I should rly get around to designing the Jackies and Olivias from my swap aus now that I have ideas for how to differentiate them for their non swapped counterparts, but at the same time the eternal dread of having to commit to either keeping or changing the gravitas uniform for the swap aus hangs over me with ever increasing pressure, so maybe I can just only draw headshots of them and commit to that til the end of time instead

[wszczebrzyszynie]

what is the like.... overarching plot of dns? is there an antagonist/conflict?

well this is fun. DNS does not have a real antagonist, so all the conflict is very character focused; it revolves around Przemek and Mikita trying to find their place in life as people who never truly felt like people. a very coming of age/slice of life kind of thing; its main theme is loneliness and all the things that come with it. The more detailed plot synopsis is under the read more as it turned out very, very long for a story that doesnt exist outside my head. It may just be the longest oc post i ever wrote here. 2 thousand words! thats a small fanfic. i dont know if i can call that a synopsis

The entire plot takes around one year (from one autumn to the next one) and is vaguely divided by the seasons; its not exactly on par with actual season dates, but its easier to categorise them that way for simplicity.

First fall, Przemek gets hired to be a junior gardener/garden help (which in this case oftentimes means doing whatever physical work in the palace needed) into a slowly collapsing, understaffed and isolated palace of a dying family line, the quite peculiar Kowalewicz family, with the owner, Eliza, rarely staying at that place. Durning work, he accidentialy gets lost in the building and catches a glimpse of a resident no one ever mentions, who just as quickly disappears. This "ghost" encounter is what makes him interact with Ryba more (who is one of the only people his age, his coworker and someone very focused on helping Przemek fit in in general; Przemek doesnt want to talk to people there, hes nervous and doesnt really feel safe away from his family; at this moment he lives from visit to visit, only really trusting his sister with things), and, with Ryba pushing him to see this ghost more, they try to explore the palace when they get a chance. Most notable moment is when they try to offer the ghost some food (bowl of kasha and some eggs) in the evening durning the dziady-all souls day period, to help it "achieve peace in the afterlife", but Przemek is too scared to go all the way and they just... leave the food on the attic stairs he first saw his ghost at. When they try to get back to their rooms (outside of the main palace building), they hear a loud thud above them. Przemek really wants to leave at that point, but he gets dragged back by Ryba, only to see that their ghost has fallen down the stairs (presumably tripping on the food) and is now unconcious. They dont know what to do and think they killed him, before he regains consciousness. Thats how they meet. Luckily for them he is far to unwell and dizzy to recognize what made him trip

Winter (late autumn-early winter) is the beginning of Przemek and Mikas relationship and the hostility that came with it. Przemek feels stupid for assuming Mika was a ghost, and Mika is just being generally unpleasant to him (and to lesser extent, Ryba, who tries to befriend him at any cost), because hes generally awful like that and wants to be left alone. He starts leaving the attic less the more Ryba pushes, but hes still willing to accept Ryba (because Ryba reminds him of a friend he had; Mikita is defined by his past and will clutch onto it because he doesnt want to live in the present and cant even imagine a future. and because Ryba is stubborn and doesnt want to leave Mika alone after thinking they killed him on those stairs; Ryba brings him food and they eat together). While his reationship with Ryba is... alright enough, he and Przemek cant get along no matter what Ryba does to ease things out. The tension between them is slowly building up for months, before in early january they get into a big fight. It ends up getting physical (Przemek finally gets to punch Mikita, who actually fights back and threatens him with a letter opener), and in the aftermath Mikita decides he cant stay in the attic (where the fight took place) and goes into the gardens, where he gets lost once it gets dark (Mikita is able to navigate the palace and gardens while in daylight, but in the darkness he is practically completly blind. While the first part of the gardens is relatively well maintained, the further it gets from the palace the more neglected it becomes, until it blends into the local forests). Unable to find his way back home in the cold, dark winter evening, he realizes hes probably going to freeze to death, and is afraid of dying for the first time; something he thought he was ready for and thought about a lot (to no ones surprise he is suicidal). Its a very important moment for Mikitas character overall. Tired out after what feels like eternity of limbo, he gets found on accident by Mikołaj and Tamara, the church ground/cemetery children, and passes out. This entire woods scene is the moment in the story that starts Mikas journey to become a person again; its his rebirth, esentially. Przemek in the meantime is left with the fact that he cant really help but somewhat identify with the way Mikita treated Ryba (quite badly, even if he was nicer to him than to Przemek), and that he should be a better friend overall; something he never really thought about before, not because hes awful, but because he never really had friends outside of his family, about which he doesnt really want to think about - Przemek gains something new in life to care for and that is his friendship with Ryba, which is both very simple and very difficult for him, but he chooses to focus on it in an attempt to save himself. In some way, those feelings culminated durning the fight, when he punched Mika, but only after he started unpacking what it all entails. In general Przemek starts to question himself more; hes been slowly opening up to other people at the palace for the past few months, and the fight is the trigger he needed to start recognizing that things are changing for him too. The snow starts getting so heavy they cant even leave the oficyna (the building with their rooms, servants kitchen, laundry room and all those things) and are unaware Mika disappeared; Przemek is more worried about the possibility of getting fired in the middle of winter for punching Mika, but Ryba does worry about him. Mikita gets sick and is being cared for by Mikołaj and Tamaras dad; they get along pretty well (especially since Mikita is unwell and had a life altering near death experience) and after two weeks Mikołaj gets Mika back home. No one noticed he was gone

Spring (which is actually late winter/middle of spring). The main three reconcile somewhat after the events of winter; Przemek and Mikita dont like each other, but they start to accept each others presence, mostly for Rybas sake, who doesnt want to be pushy after the winter events and recognizes Mikitas isolationist nature. Mikita starts going out more; not really outside, but starts hanging out in other places in the palace, and even visits the church grounds when he has the chance. This season comes with new characters; Eliza comes back home, and with her comes her brother and his family, who normally live in Britain. Among them is the youngest family member - Dominik, a young boy, who never really saw his dads family home, or ever been to Congress Poland, considering Artur was the first one to get away from that place. Dominik is out of his depth there and doesnt really enjoy that much at first; Ryba spends his time on trying to learn more about the kid, trying to make him feel more welcome. Przmek doesnt really care for the residents and wants to keep his distance, but he also feels like he cant leave Ryba alone, and so he runs errands with Ryba while he tries to help. While he manages to get along with the boy (who is drawn to anything cool his older peers do; and Ryba is plenty cool), he starts to recognize that the issue lies in him missing his home and the other side of his family, something neither of them can really fix. Its something that resonates with Przemek and forces him to finally think about his own family life; something he has been somewhat avoiding since his first arrival. Every month, Przemek gets to come back home for two days, and with each visit it has been getting harder, mostly due to his sister, Lena. Przemek starts the story very... depressed, mostly being dragged around by others, but now hes different. Hes still relatively meek, but being able to focus on new relationships and experience the weird but unconditional support at the palace made him a calmer, bit more content person, who can make choices for himself. In Lenas eyes however, her brother is leaving them behind, not as much physically as mentally, and she starts holding a grudge against him, causing tension Przemek doesnt understand or know how to fix it. The siblings relationship is something id like to go more in depth in another post if anyone would be interested in it, as its one of my favourite relationships in the story, and a very important one

Summer (late spring-late summer) is the last "proper" season. Over a month after Artur and his family come back home, another guests arrive - Beatrycze and her father, who is a close friend of Eliza, who will be staying there for a while. At that point Mikita has made a lot of progress since he first fell down the stairs and is taking part in the palaces... social life, if you can call it that, to an extent. Trycz is a peculiar guest, as she avoids talking to anyone, usually haunting the hallways and forgotten rooms of the palace, or walking by herself in the gardens. When caught, shes polite, but runs away from conversations at the first possible moment. Its Mikita who gets to actually talk to her first - and he does not like her, but this encounter makes Trycz open up a little. As a trans girl shes not very open to meeting strangers, but Mikita is... peculiar enough himself, with the rest of the palace (he doesnt go outside so he wears whatever, and he looks... queer enough to clock immidiately, i suppose. Trycz mistakes him for a girl herself at first) to make it better. While for Trycz it was a relatively nice encounter and a stepping stone in making friends at the manor, Mikita starts to get stuck in his own head. Once Ryba and Trycz become friends, and hes forced to listen about her from both the only peer hes willing to talk to, as well as the adults at the palace, he realizes just how completly envious he is of her. Convestations with Trycz and her family open up a box he has made his life goal to not think about - that he is, ultimately, still a failure, and his life will be forever defined by his childhood. In his head, Trycz is a literal better version of him, something he cant be anymore, and hes left to deal with that. He has to accept that he will never truly leave the attic - while someone like Trycz or Ryba or even Przemek can find their people, Mikitas ability to love died with his mother, and now he has nothing, he cant truly connect with anyone and he always will be a bit lonely. Summer for him is both a setback and a start; he will never be able to regain the relationship he used to have with his mother, but shes not here anymore, and he is. While his former attempts at getting better were rooted in wanting to be a bit like before, he recognizes he cant really do that. Przemek on the other hand gets to experience a... Ryba withdrawal, of sorts, as their relationship gets on the harder to understand side, and Przemek needs space to think about everything going on. He doesnt want to hang around the guests, and he still feels lost in regards of his family. Out of lack of options, he tries to talk to Mikita when they meet on accident - something they dont really do since they dont have to anymore. They actually manage to hold a conversation and share advice. Mikita tells him off for being so helpless and makes him go talk to someone more competent about his issues, but he does envy him for being able to care so much. The time of the next visit is getting near, and Przemek knows he has to do something about it, as he decided to not visit last month and feels incredibly guilty about it, ultimately finding his way back to Ryba. In the process of making sense of his family situation, he realizes he may be in love with Ryba, who pretty much knew already. He comes back home for a visit and apologizes to Lena for leaving her alone

Next autumn is an epilogue of sorts; a then vs now kind of thing. Przemek and Ryba help Mika move out of the attic into a different room in the palace

I dont think im capable of talking about my ocs in just a few words. I cut out some things (Rybas whole deal, the relationship between Lena and Przemek, Mikita durning spring) but i think thats the main meat. Its not much but its something i cherish

[bl00d1nk]

ꜱʟᴀꜱʜᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴꜱ; ᵈᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

​🇨​​🇭​​🇦​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇸​: brahms heelshire, patrick bateman, herbert west

​🇼​​🇦​​🇷​​🇳​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​​🇸​: slashers ofc, brahms lack of hygiene, brahms being possesive, brahms stalking you basically,patrick being a dick, vauge nsfw in patricks, dead people obvi, body snatching, also not read over so if theres any mistakes whoopsies

​🇦​​🇺​​🇹​​🇭​​🇴​​🇷​​🇸​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​: first time writing for slashers omds + writing for the first time properly in like a year so teehee also lemme know if you want this for other slashers :PPP also i tried to write this v gn but idk if i acc did so pls gimme suggestions on how to keep everything in my writing inclusive plsss!!! also if ur wondering what "w/" means it just means with im just too lazy to write with teehee

¬𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙷𝙼𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚁𝙴¬

𖦹 stinky

𖦹 i dont mean that in a funny way like this man fucking REEKS

𖦹 this means you will have to get him to wash himself

𖦹 only perk of that is showering n bathing w/ him, its a real big part of your relationship

𖦹 he likes it because hes close to you and it gives him a lot of comfort and feels really cared for if you wash his hair for him + likes the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp

𖦹 he likes leaving things he thinks you'll like all around the house

𖦹 he found a crusty ass ring he'll think you'll like?KABOOSH!!!!! its on the bathroom counter

𖦹 he also doesn't take too kindly to anyone you talk to that isn't him, he gets really jealous n upset over that

𖦹 this makes him extremly bratty unfortunately

𖦹 prepare for him being in the walls and banging on them for hours on end to piss you off and placing that stupid doll everywhere just to get a scare out of you

𖦹 will literally refuse to do anything for you

𖦹 buttt you can make it up to him by telling him theres nothing to worry about n making him a wee sandwich + giving him kisses, easy peasy squeeze the lemon (im really hoping some of yous got that reference)

𖦹 brahms also likes cuddling

𖦹 a lot

𖦹 you're sitting down reading or on your phone? not without him on your lap nuzzing into your neck having a wee nap

𖦹 you might end up with dead legs by the end of it but hey! it was worth it

𖦹 probably......

𖦹 he just stares at you a lot but dw! not in a creepy way (from his perspective at least), he's just admiring your beauty

𖦹 really likes it when you read to him + it puts him to sleep

𖦹 also loves it when you brush his hair, surprise surprise it also puts him to sleep

𖦹 CLINGY!!!!!!!!! so very very very very CLINGY

𖦹 if you leave the room for a second he will follow doesnt matter if he knows where you're going he will follow

𖦹 gets so upset if you leave during cuddling even if its to pee

𖦹 he will whine n grasp n tug at what you're wearing in an attempt to get you to stay w/ him

𖦹 the time he spends following n watching you could be stalking atp

𖦹 seperation anxiety? he knows her, very well

𖦹 will cry if you leave the house until you come back, n the moment you do he practically jumps you, crying and wailing into your shoulder begging you not to leave him ever again

𖦹 will have no intentions of letting go of you for the rest of the day

𖦹 he also really like sleeping in the same bed w/ you

𖦹 he likes that he knows you're there, you can tuck him in, read to him, cuddle him, give him forehead kisses n comfort him in case he has a nightmare or vice versca

𖦹 n e ways 8.5/10 -1 for stinkyness, -0.5 for well him being him ig

¬𝙿𝙰𝚃𝚁𝙸��𝙺 𝙱𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽¬

𖦹 before i get into this one i actually hate patrick bateman w/ a burning passion for very obvious reasons so i struggled HARD w/ this

𖦹 alr so we all saw that les mis poster in the opening scene so he deffo would bring you along to watch any high end musicals w/ him

𖦹 SKINCARE!!!!!!!!! he has a whole ass ROUTINE which he will explain to you in great detail and explain why the water has to be a certain temp n why this needs to be put on this way n that needs to be put on that way

𖦹 would let you do skincare on him but beware that he will check the entire ingredients list before you put it on his face

𖦹 its rather boring to listen to but he looks so proud of himself while explaining it, how could you not listen?????

𖦹 he spoils you rotten like its acc so bad

𖦹 you wanted those fancy ass pairs of shoes? they're already in your hands

𖦹 you want a reservation at dorsia? you've got one

𖦹 you literally want anything in the world? you'll have it before you even know you want it

𖦹 he obviously doesn't like people apart from himself so when he found the slightest bit of attraction to you he immediatley became infatuated with you and your life

𖦹 why were you making him feel this way? how were you making him feel this way? was it sorcery? was he going insane? yeah

𖦹 suprise suprise this did lead him to asking you out which led you up to here getting whatever you want

𖦹 hes a jealous fucker i can tell you that

𖦹 especially when he sees you within a 6ft distance of paul allen

𖦹 he storms over and makes some passive aggresive comment toward the two of you and then tries to keep himself cool w/ some swanky inner monologue and eventually drags you away because he "needed to talk to you"

𖦹 spoiler alert, he didn't

𖦹 all this leads to is some rather lewd acts back at his apartment as he tries to reassure himself that he's much better than paul allen and taunts you asking if you think paul allen could make you feel this way

𖦹 rants on to you about his music collection and explains how he thinks this song led them to stardom and someone was an idiot for not releasing this and that as a single and not putting these songs in this album and yadayadaya

𖦹 great if you actually are bothered to listen to him rant on for ages horrific if you aren't, gets quite offended if you don't show much interest in his music

𖦹 i get if if you don't tho, its really something...

𖦹 we all know this man is a complete germaphobe so be absolutley horrifically aware of that unless you fancy getting yelled at

𖦹 he love love LOVESS watching texas chainsaw massacare with you, he loves it when you twos just sit there in silence and cuddle while watching people get brutally attacked n chased, how romantic!

𖦹 finds it funny when you grimace or go 'oh my god' at any brutal scene in it

𖦹 touchy

𖦹 v e r y t o u c h y

𖦹 at any public event he always has a hand snaked around your waist or has his arm linked in yours

𖦹 even in is apartment he still has that hand snaked aorund your waist

𖦹 not a fan of kissing bc he's a germaphobe but because he knows were you've been most of the time he dislikes it a little less

𖦹 prefers giving forehead kisses tho as its quick and much more hygenic than lips

𖦹 god that was tough to write but overall, 7.5/10, -2.5 for being himself. i hate him too much to give him a better rating so ja

¬𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙴𝚁𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃¬

𖦹 i am so horrendously excited to write this because for the last like 4 days i have not stopped thinking about reanimator, i eat sleep breath the franchise, and herbert west is such a giggle so teehee

𖦹 alright if you're not in the science field or have any connection to dan hes probably not going to take an interest in you as you're not one of his areas of interest

𖦹 if you are in the category of herbert wests interests well done! he tolerates you

𖦹 like patrick would notice how weird he felt around you and would probably blame it on 'primal urges' ew

𖦹 he would most likely ignore them until he can't, and it eventually all bubbles over and he just can't resist inviting you to his basement of wonders

𖦹 he just watches you intently the entire time your there much like brahms does, also not in a creepy way (in his eyes) just admiring you

𖦹 he probably goes on a rather detailed explanation of his work and what he did to get here

𖦹 if you ever feel a lil faint abt all that stuff he just puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder cuz hes a lil awkward

𖦹 lowkey enlists you alongside dan to go steal bodies and experiment on them

𖦹 if you ever get attacked by one of the re-animated he literally doesn't leave your side, mainly to see the severity of your injuries to examine the strength of the reanimated and the other tiny bit because he cares for you

𖦹 has shit talking sessions about dr hill w/ you, it mainly consists of him getting rather heated over the fact he plagiarizes his work and ya know the whole 6-12 mins thing

𖦹 is very clingy with you when dr hill is around as he doesn't want him to make any creepy ass remarks about you so he sticks to your side like he sticks to his research

𖦹 really appreciates is when you cook for him as he's a total basement dweller and doesn't leave it for food

𖦹 so lets say you actually did make something for him he would be really surprised and would be rather amused that you care enough to make him something and he'll gladly eat it

𖦹 also doesn't sleep a lot, so if and when he comes up from the basement he will be taking a nap on you

𖦹 speaking of him taking naps, he'll just plonk on top of you when he wants to take a nap so

𖦹 yay!!!

𖦹 like patrick with music herbert will rant on about science to you

𖦹 at any time, like you could be in bed ready to finally sleep and then he starts rambling about the R.E.M cycle and how benificial sleep is for the body yet he gets absolutley NONE

𖦹 isn't very good at expressing affection for you bc he's herbert so those naps and his rants are actually his way of showing he rlly likes you

𖦹 kissing isn't his favourite thing in the world bc of germs and stuff, so he presses quick kisses to your forehead, nose and cheek such a gentleman

𖦹 but, when herberts all whiny and annoyed at life he will be down for a cheeky make out sesh

𖦹 he gets very flustered after it which is pretty funny to watch so he usually distracts himself with science

𖦹 i genuinely couldn't tell you if he would use petnames or not

𖦹 will use your name 99.9999999999% of the time, just maybe will call you darling

𖦹 just maybe.....

𖦹 n e ways dunno what else to write so 8.9/10, -1.1 for being a body snatcher ig

omds that was so hard and I was gonna add more characters but i kinda got lazy but PLEEEAAAASSEEEE lemme know what you guys thought ty :3

[3liza]

everyone arguing with material analysis/assertion about how art is a "luxury" has rarely if ever spent rent or food money on art, if they even pay rent or buy their own food, and if they did that would be considered extremely dysfunctional, and thats what i/we mean. artists are not providing a necessary service.

our plane crashes in the Andes and you are not particularly excited about my "can draw that Playboy centerfold of Marge Simpson from memory" like that is not an essential survival skill. lots of extremely skilled workers work in luxury artisan and craft jobs, it's not an insult to say even a very famous and very talented and influential artist is not producing a commodity necessary for the furtherance of human life. none of us are doing that, no matter how we stretch and strain the definitions of "essential" or even things like "morale" or "group identity". i will burn my copy of Finnegan's Wake to stay warm and thats what it comes down to.

i get foamy crazy snarling and biting about the idolization and obfuscation of what artists actually do because it is a labor issue! the public conception of artists as people possessed of a divine talent they dont consciously work to develop like any other skill, and the public idea that we are simply pleased and privileged to make art all day and "not work", something people say to my face every time i get asked "what i do", is largely responsible for the absolute dogshit reality of how subsistence and working class artists have to survive. we usually dont have health insurance unless we're so poor we qualify for medicaid AND live in a state that will enroll us. most of us are too disabled or crazy to go to a real job every day. most of us have tried, over and over, to enter the normal workforce, and have failed, and been forced to develop alternate skills that allow us to make rent in the ten hours per month we're actually functional. many of the artists i know work from bed because standing up is dicey. this has been turned into a charming eccentricity of famous artists and writers instead of people wondering why a person would need to stay in bed all day and take the enormous bother of bringing their stupid pens and paper and writing board or typewriter or whatever to their bed instead of just getting up and getting dressed and going to work. ive done this, i spilled ink in my sheets. its a huge hassle.

and artists play along with this mystique because people dont want to buy paintings from sadlords! they want to buy paintings and books and marge simpson nudes from cool guys who get a lot of chicks and wear rockstar outfits and party a lot, because of the transitive properties! of course!!! this is basic marketing!!!!! and if the artist doesnt play along they turn into Sad Story Artist where they're doing emergency commissions and posting about how sick they are all the time. this is not cool or fun or sexy. it's a sand trap and its very hard to recover from. im struggling with this right now!

famous and successful artists and writers are constantly ending up 60-90 years old with cancer and multiple sclerosis and dementia, being the subject of some sort of public, last-ditch, humiliating GoFundMe because painting paperback covers fr 60 years means you dont get a pension, you often dont even have kids who can take care of you, you dont have life insurance, you dont have health insurance. 'died penniless and alone' is one of the stereotypical artist endings for a reason, that is not fiction. this happened to more artists than i can list on two hands. look up what happened to Peter S. beagle, the guy who wrote The Last Unicorn. you write a book like that you should be set for life, right? NO. thats not how it works

i'm not saying 'all artists are disabled and working class or poor' because that isnt true, observably. nepo babies and trust fund artists exist, obviously. but they take an outsized portion of the spotlight when the public thinks of the concept of "artist". they are not actually the norm. the average artist is probably making under 40k and living in extremely precarious circumstances and has had periods of homelessness, illness, extreme debt and/or bankruptcy.

this is true even for the 'successful' artists. having one or two or ten good projects and being a household name does not save you from just not having the safety net provided by a normal career path. i was very close with a major, famous 2000s network television creator and team that you have heard of. they won awards, they changed culture entirely, they were a big deal. one of them was turned down for a half dozen projects by the same network that made millions or bilions on their franchise over several years (each pitch is completely unpaid btw, imagine carefully preparing a PowerPoint for morons for months at a time for no reimbursement and thent he morons ask you if you can put a teenage witch looking for her lost cat in the alps in it and you're like, haha, well, it's a 4 part hard sci fi miniseries set on Europa and takes place entirely inside a pressurized lander settlement, i mean Ridley Scot said he was interested already and he pitched a bottle episode about a carbon monoxide poisoning, soooooo....and the executives look at each other and they're like "it's jst not really what we're looking for right now, thanks for coming in" and you go to coffee bean and tea leaf and kill yourself and thats sort of what its like. i made that example up it didn't actually happen i'm using an illustrative example), worked on a canceled film, and just. gradually ran out of money. thats what happens. that guy ended up slowly selling off all his belongings, getting roommates in a one bedroom apartment, and then eventually having to just live on a friend's couch for years. famous guy. you probably know his name. another major member of that same team ended up in GoFundMe/commission hell for years (might still be there) because they had to take care of their two dying, dementia patient parents by themselves. these are people who go to GenCon and sign autographs for four hours at a time. THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF THIS SHIT and i'm sick of it. im sick of going to a gallery opening night ("vernissage") and drinking bad wine and having a guy with an email job that pays six figures and benefits tell me being able to push "undo" on the computer is cheating. that's a real example, that has actually happened to me. more than once.

artists currently have zero labor protections whatsoever. all of us are undercutting each other in an unregulated market and relying on welfare and private insurance and not having families or buying houses. zero security until we get so old all our illnesses and dysfunction finally ground us permanently and then we get turned into a charity case by fans (humiliating) or just fade away into ghosts and die

whats my punchline? idk i dont have one. it's possible and likely that any given artist you meet is permanently in precarity and will be until they die, even the famous ones. the culture of selling art demands that artists do not admit to this in public unless shit gets really really bad. i guess my point is you should know this, as a person who looks at or listens to or reads things that people have made for your amusement, not for your survival

[ssparksflyy]

percy x zeus!gf hcs pls!!! and could i request it to be more on the funny side and how percy and zeus have beef but also get along cuz of gf

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs ! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus!reader warning(s): little bit of swearing an: hi! ty for requesting <3 im literally not even funny but i hope u enjoy thissss! also theres a lotta taylor in this one 🤭

BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OHHH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AHHH

it doesnt matter if youre a social butterfly or antisocial, everybody knew you and percy before you even started dating

so best believe when you actually got together, everybody ( literally ) cheered

but your flirting era had to be on of the most painful things to watch

seriously doesnt matter if you got game or not, percy is literally oblivious and a LOSERRRRR

im so sorry but somebody had to say it

bro had THE BIGGEST crush on you and whenever he'd try to like compliment you itd usually sound a little weird

tell me why he'd probably say something like

"i like your outfit today! that shirt for sure looks better with those jeans than it did with the shorts you wore 2 weeks ago :)"

lil creep

cue silena crying in the corner because she made a bet with beckendorf and it is NOT looking good for her right now

WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.

you guys are iconic

like well-known power couple

I'D be scared to train with you guys cause like what do you MEAN i gotta go against the best swordsmen at camp and the daughter of the king of the gods??

no thank you, i choose life ♡

when people are asked to think of a couple, they immediately think of you guys

everybody loves you guys for real

if you ever broke up ( which you wont, percy would probably just say "no" ) itd probably leave everybody super torn

ITD BE LIKE IN GILMORE GIRLS WHEN LORELAI AND LUKE BROKE UP AND THE WHOLE TOWN LIKE TOOK SIDES

if you havent watched gilmore girls, that basically sums the situation up. lorelai is literally like the town's sweetheart and luke is the owner of the most popular diner in their small town ♡ very cutesy

so sorry for the spoiler

SALLY LOVESSS YOU

she's literally so sweet and treats you as if you were her own child

she'd definitely bake cookies when you first meet and if you liked them, you best believe you are being sent back to camp with a baggie full of cookies

cant love you as much as percy does though !!

youre literally his queen

( sorry i say literally a lot )

he treats you like royaltyyyyy

always opening doors for you, walks you everywhere, follows the sidewalk rule, everything ♡

when its raining, he picks you up bridal style and takes you wherever you need to go, so you dont get your shoes wet ♡♡

yall literally live in the rain tho

neither of you leave your cabin with an umbrella, the rain just gives you life

AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT WITH YOU ID DANCE IN A STORM IN MY BEST DRESS FEARLESS

one time, you went out for a fancy dinner, got dressed up all nice very fancy very fancy

BUT you BOTH forgot to check the weather

and it ended up POURING rain by the time you got out of the restaurant

and i kid you not

percy just grabs you by the hand, leads you out into the rain, and begins to dance with you.

no coverage, no music, no fucks given. just him and his girl.

he treasures that moment forever and ever

all the gods looked down at you from olympus and melted

neither of you care if you're disrespecting your fathers, you spend almost every night together ♡

percy is absolutely a big cuddler

literally just adores the feeling of you close to him

oh lord save him his drug is his baby he'll be using for the rest of his life

falling asleep together is so easy, you just melt into each other's touch

waking up is what's harder

neither of you want to leave the bed, and neither of you want the other person to leave the bed either.

percy's the typa guy to just have a sweet little conversation with you before he gets up for the day

you always get a good morning ( and a good night! ), then percy asks you what's on your schedule for the day ( as if he hasn't memorized it by now ), and what you wanted for breakfast that morning

he simply cannot get up without it

he's also the type of guy to just whisper sweet nothings into your ear if he wakes up before you ♡

he just goes on a little ramble about how pretty you look when your sleeping, even though you are sleeping while he's 'talking' to you

sorry where was i?

ZEUS.

the bastrard HATES percy and percy HATES the bastard

theyve literally been beefing since he was 12 years old

so best believe when zeus found out his daughter was dating this son of poseidon??? oo he was PISSEDDD.

poseidon is literally so chill with you. like he just cares that percy is happy. seriously doesn't care about who your dad is. if anything, he already sees you as family

zeus holds back everything in him to not kill percy on the spot every time you make out

he doesn't do it because he knows you'd probably walk to the underworld to get him back and hades would go feral if he got another orpheus & eurydice

percy gives zero fucks. he flips off the sky every time he walks outside

percy is so sweet and caring and kind and shows your father such respect like hes literally an angel 😇😇

i wouldn't say that he starts like actually respecting him, but he tries not to offend him as often as usual, just for you ♡

in the scenario that you'd have to make a trip to olympus, percy and zeus put on their big boy pants and try to tolerate each other

hera dont like you or percy bro she's literally just there

its okay though, you both despise her for kidnapping percy and wiping his memory ♡♡♡

JASON AND THALIA HOWEVER

thalia would definitely be the dramatic dad that zeus cant be (in person, at least)

whenever she and the hunters stay at camp she ( jokingly ) tells percy

"jackson, i want her home by NINE PEE EM. no later. i expect you won't be drinking, and you will be TAKING CARE OF HER. in the instance that i hear you DONT, i think you'll be taking a second trip across the river styx, you hear me?"

in like an sergeant voice and everything

percy plays along with it and salutes her going "yes ma'am!"

jason thinks you are so cute together

since you were at camp when the whole switcheroo thing happened, jason knew you first, and you were instantly best buddies

you told him about percy, and once he met him, he was happy to find out he was exactly like you described him

jason and thalia are ur #1 supporters ♡

in summary, alexa play that should be me

[captainjimothy]

feeling ill about kai winn again. Character of All Time. she's the planet-wide leader of a religion that has recently been scientifically confirmed to be true, as in, the gods are real and they live in a pocket of space just above the planet and they speak to people all the time. but they've never spoken to her. she clawed her way through the ranks to become pope because she wanted so badly to be close to her gods, and they still give her the cold shoulder. she was also elected president and has to juggle those positions during a turbulent post-war period where tensions are high and resources are low. she's politically and morally conservative, but she's willing to learn from her mistakes if you're nice to her about it. she is run so ragged by her responsibilities and the lack of connection from the gods she loves that it doesnt even take very long for dukat to convert her into his satanist death cult. she lets him, a stranger, sleep with her while he's doing this, because no matter how driven and ambitious she is, at the end of the day she's a lonely and isolated person who has never really been liked very much and she just wants connection. as soon as she discovers dukat's real identity she kicks him out of her bed, because he was the military leader who oversaw the occupation of her planet and oppression of her people--but she continues to keep him around as a cult partner because she refuses to stop working on the plans to blow up the world. she's like 65 and she's crawling down into the fire caves to summon demons like it's no big whoop. who is doing it like her

[blackpilljesus]

The rise in popularity of single childfree women should signal that we need to start preparing. I've spoken about this before but want to address a common concern of safety regarding maIe retaliation. At this point some women may think they'll be safer trying to get a maIe but the statistics show otherwise. There's a reason women fought for rights in the first place, we all know that maIes as a collective are horrible beings. If maIes were pleasant to be around & reproduce with, they wouldn't need to force women into it.

Now I dont have all the answers in terms of what to do in the face of maIe retaliation but where to start:

1 - Move in silence. MaIes dont need to know our every move. MaIes have enough power as is, them knowing our strategy on top of that wont help. Hell, play dumb sometimes. This also applies to other women, if they push marriage & kids bs be measured in your response, in the end you know your truth. At the end of the day most of these women are also aware of the danger maIes pose.

2 - Organise. This is tough, extremely tough i can't lie. For one we're scattered all over the world & people in our real lives wouldn't have the committment to this nor believe in deviating from the nuclear structure but it is something needed. Even if it's just online, find or build networks with likeminded women. I say this as a lone wolf but infrastructure & network is needed because the government will make it harder to survive alone so some would need to be able to lean on each other for support even if it's just verbal. Disassociate from maIes as far as you can. Take up learning how to defend yourself. If you're serious about this; be prepared to break the rules at some point because playing nice & by the law wont work. These things are set up by men for men and it wont help us. I'm not saying go out there & purposefuly break the law or put yourself in harms way, just saying prepare. It sounds far out now but the current system cant be counted on, blind eyes are turned when maIes abuse women, women are punished for defending themselves under the system. Even if you dont want to go down the route of community, learn to take care of yourself & hold your own down.

3 - Stop arguing with maIes. This doesnt mean that xys are right, I say this a lot but maIes are fully aware of everything. Arguing with maIes online is a waste of time, time that can go to building for yourself or likeminded women. MaIes denying female oppression is part of the game to keep you wasting your energy on them as opposed to working on yourself. It's to keep you in their hands; doesn't matter whether you're right or not, how many statistics you throw at them, you're still biting their bait.

4 - Stack up on resources & money. If you have resources & money and the priviledge to save then start now. If/when things go downhill it wont be a snap thing but a transition so this window needs to be used to the best of our advantage. Take advantage of the privileges you have now to set yourself for the future because that could very well be gone.

I doubt we'd win tbh but I'd rather die trying than live submitting. I will mention that I know it's scary but we have to think forward. Bear in mind the system has never worked for women, some will say things like "but when women leave maIes get more violent" but there is no safety in the first place. Women are sexually harrassed & assaulted any where at any time with no protection already. Women are constantly told of all the things they should or shouldn't do to avoid maIe violence and it doesnt work anyways, maIes will continue to abuse women & girls. No amount of listening & obeying has helped women because it doesn't matter what the reason for maIe violence is, if they cant find a reason they'll create a reason because their motive is to make women suffer in addition to reproduction & having labour.

Now I know many will speak about the violence of maIe retaliation which I'll address in part 3. This is part 2 of 'the rise in single childfree women' group of posts.

Part 1

[poppy-metal]

IM GOING BACK TO COACH PATRICK, FUCK IT

because he like. he knows how awful this is - you're like, probably barely twenty, for christsake. but you look at him with such dumbstruck adoration and he realises what it's like to hold that kind of real power over someone for the first time and he wonders if this is what him and art looked like that sunny afternoon watching tashi play.

and he knows hes a horrible, perverted, gross old man, because your backstroke is as clean and powerful as hers was. your cloying, puppy-dog voice whenever you're trying to get something you want is just like his. and maybe you're just a really fucking good tennis player. maybe he's making the resemblances up in his head.

but it doesnt matter because when you're face-down in your frilly pink bed begging for him to "fuck me harder, daddy, please, fuck--" he can pretend.

of course, he actually comes down to the even more horrible realization he might be in love with you. outside of your resemblance to his former lovers. which is a whole nother can of worms.

as is the first big tennis event you attend with patrick zweig as your coach - running right into the donaldsons. who think your game is great, and wouldn't you like to play with them sometime?

-toxic poly kit ♡

tw for: TOXIC POLYCULE IN THE MAKING. LIKE SO TOXIC. LIKE TASHI AND PATRICK ARE NOT GOOD PEOPLE AND NEITHER IS ART FOR THAT MATTER. READER NEEDS TO BE FAR AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE BUT HER FATE IS SEALED.

cw: toxic age gap dynamics, cheating (not really but it feels like it), everyone but reader being a POS. age play talk hinted at but not explicitly on page, mommy and daddy kink. some dubcon mentioned as well.

I'm playing with the idea in my head of patrick using you as a distraction (at first) and later on - a way to get art and tashis attention. he knows them. he knows that seeing him be the coach of some up and coming tennis prodigy would grind their gears. you notice how tense he is on the day you play against donaldson - how much seriously he'd taken preparing you for this match. and you can see why. you're excellent, but art wipes the floor with you. you keep up as best you can but you've never gone against someone that intense before. by the end you're dripping sweat in rivers and panting. you feel sick, thinking you let down patrick, but when you meet him he's ecstatic. grinning ear to ear. he said he knew you wouldn't beat art - that wasn't the point. the point was to make him sweat a little, and you had. you'd gained both his and tashis attention with your style. he promises to take you out for ice cream later - he just needs to talk to some old friends first.

you wait for hours before you get antsy and go looking for him, the hotel you're staying at is big and the room is lonely without him. you look but you can't find him anywhere. it takes you awhile before you think to check the donaldsons suite. you ask the desk lady what room they're staying in and are surprised when she gives you a room key. says your name is on their guest list, along with patricks. you blink but take the key anyway. it's strange to you, you'd never met art or his coach - wife - before today. even though you'd seen them plenty on TV. you'd look up to them if you weren't already so spellbound by patrick.

you're naive, because you don't think to knock before going in - your mind just wants to see your coach - be near him, you don't mind at all that it's probably rude to drag him away from his friends.

you should have knocked.

you halt in the doorway as the sight before you registers. slowly like through molasses.

alot of bare skin. you recognize patricks body immediately, having felt it against your own plenty of times.

it's not just his body though. it's his and tashis and arts and they're all undressed and tashi is riding - she's riding patrick like she's done it a hundred times before, moaning loudly as she bounces up and down on that same cock you've felt inside you. patricks hands are on her waist - gripping her like a lifeline. you can hear his grunts too, he's chanting her name - over and over again in reverence. in adoration. your stomach twists.

and art, the man who'd you gone toe to toe with on the other side of the net just hours before is lying beside the two writhing bodies, slowly stroking his cock as he bites his bottom lip, seeming content to watch for the moment.

none of them heard you come in.

you don't know why you stand and watch for as long as you do. some twisted sense of masochism. you feel stupid you think, for thinking you meant anything to patrick other than a tight body to fuck and a ticket to land him where he is now. you feel stupid and so you burn this Image into your head and let it hurt you so you'll learn to not be this stupid ever again.

morbidly, you think of how beautiful they all look together. and how this isn't the first time they've all slept together. the ease of which their bodies move is too fluid.

tashi leans down and you get a view of her bare pussy split around patricks cock - she murmurs something to him, something that makes his fingers come around and dig into her ass as he hisses her name. something that makes arts hand speed up on his cock.

it's when his fist is wrapped around his tip that his eyes flick to the door idily - your eyes connect and his hand freezes on his dick. his pink lips part in shock and he sits up, the motion catching tashis attention and she turns her head, hips still moving on patrick. and something about that - about locking gazes with tashi in particular - sends you stumbling back.

you spin around and dart out of the room. you hear the sound of shuffling, patrick cursing and then calling your name but you're already gone. slamming the door behind you.

you don't really have anywhere to go. patrick drove you here. you're completely dependent on him to go back home. but the thought of patrick finding you right now, all pathetic and confused and heartsick - you can't stomach it.

you don't go back to the room. you leave the hotel entirely. lost in a city you've never been too.

in your pajamas.

people give you strange looks as you pass by and eventually you find a bar. you're not old enough to drink yet - but you're older than 18, so you're allowed in. you wish you could have a shot, but you settle for a glass of coke and cradle the glass in your hands, thinking about what to do.

you'll have to go back eventually.

or you could uber home? it'd be expensive as hell, given you were states away from home. you patted your bottoms stupidly only to realize you'd left your phone in the room.

great. you'd definitely have to face patrick.

you imagined the pitying look he'd give you. like you really thought he had any loyalty to you, that you were special. like his little girlfriend or something. stupid. stupid girl.

you blink in suprise when someone recognizes you from today's match, wanting your autograph. it gives you a moment of levity. at least you have tennis. you did really like the sport. you wanted to keep getting better at it. but could you do that under patrick still? with how you felt? you didn't know. the thought of seeing him at all made you want to throw up.

you spitefully hoped he felt like shit but you doubted he did. you at least hoped he was panicking about where you were. the stress was the least he could suffer.

you dont know how long you sat there. the ice cubes in your coke long since melted. you hadn't yet taken a sip - when you felt someone sit next to you. and a wash of elegant fragrance hit your nose. whoever it was, they had to be rich.

you peeked at them and your fingers twitched around your glass in shock.

tashi.

every hair perfectly in place. dressed to the nines in a simple black slip dress. looking stunning and beautiful and not at all affected by earlier events.

she tilted her head at you, “coke? really?” her lips curl. “don't you think you deserve something stronger?”

your lips part. you dont know what to say to this woman. this woman patrick is obviously in love with. you should spit in her face.

“im not old enough.” is what you say instead. meekly.

“jesus patrick,” she says under her breath. his name on her mouth makes your gut churn. she pinches her brow like she's tired. “at least tell me you're legal.”

“im nineteen” you tell her, a little petulant. you didn't like being treated like a child. well. except those times when patrick - no. don't think about him.

tashis manicured nails tap against the bartop as she studies you. you are reminded of how under dressed you are in comparison to her and twitch under her analytical gaze.

“that's some backhand.” she tells you conversationally and you don't know what to say to that. she's talking to you about tennis right now?

“thank you.” you're compelled to tell her anyway. an automatic response to her praise, which you sense doesn't come often.

it's strange that you want to cry and kick her and ask her for a hug all at the same time.

“have you always been that good?”

you stare down into the liquid of your glass, frowning.

tashi sighs. “you're hurt.” a statement. a noted fact. “patrick didn't tell you about us.”

tears prick your eyes. you don't look at her. so fucking stupid.

“have you been fucking him?”

you glance at her in suprise and she smiles. sly.

“I know you are, actually.”

“he told you?”

“no. but it's obvious.”

you go quiet again.

tashi fills the silence easily. “he's losing his mind looking for you right now. I don't think I've seen him so worried about someone other than himself.”

you try to ignore the way your heart jumps hopefully. fail. stupid. stupid.

“it doesn't matter.” you tell her. “why are you telling me this? you won him.”

she raises a brow.

“there's no winning patrick zweig. hes about as loyal as a dog. which is to say - he'll lick whoever holds a hand out.”

you don't know why you have the desire to defend patrick. you just don't like the way she's talking down about him. you don't think she's right, which is insane to think considering the situation you're in.

but had he ever promised you loyalty?

“you love him.”

another statement.

you don't bother denying it, either.

tashi hums. seeming to appreciate the lack of bullshitting. she shoulders her little clutch and flips her hair smoothly. everything about her is smooth, she moves effortlessly like water.

you can see why patrick wants her.

“come with me.” her hand slips into the dip of your elbow. you don't fight her as she tugs you up. she pays your tab - just an undrunk coke. “I'll get you something real to drink back at the hotel.”

you flinch at the reminder of the scene you walked in on. she sees it and squeezes your arm, guiding you outside. for some reason unknown to you, it comforts you. the touch somehow dominant and maternal all at once. you let her lead you back to the hotel like a lost little lamb.

when you get back to her room - patrick is immediately in your space - he's frantic and relieved and angry all at once. big hands cupping your face. holding you back to inspect you for any damages. worried eyes flicking up and down your body. his fingers dig into your shoulders and he gives you a little shake when he decides you're okay.

“dont ever pull that shit again.” his voice has that serious, pissed tone to it that usually makes your pussy wet. and well, it still does. but now you're genuinely upset.

you smack his hands off you. “don't tell me what to fucking do. you're my coach not my dad. I don't report to you.”

his eyes flash. his jaw ticks. you hate how fucking beautiful he is when he's angry. you hate that you know the reason his hair is wild and stuck in all directions and his shirt is on inside out is because he'd been in the middle of fucking another woman.

said woman who is pouring herself a glass of wine and watching the interaction with thinly veiled interest. art comes up to her, touches her arm, and she gives him a look, seeming to communicate alot with just that. he bites his lip and leans his hip against the dresser, watching you too.

“im not your daddy, huh?” patrick says, mean. “funny because that's not what you said last night when I was inside that tight cun -”

your palm rings from the slap you deliver. his head snaps to the side with the force of it. your eyes burn and you shove a finger into his chest. he looks down at you in shock, his cheek red from your handprint, lips parted as you get in his face.

“and you'll never feel it again.” you tell him, chin wobbling. you force it straight. “I don't want your fucking slimy hands on me ever again.”

patrick works his jaw. licks his teeth and you realize you'd slapped him hard enough to split his lip when he tongues the beading of blood there.

“you're a child.” he tells you. cold.

you glare up at him.

“yeah, one you couldn't keep your dick out of despite being in love with two other people. fucking pervert. I bet you signed up to coach all those girls because no one your age would fuck you and some jailbait pussy would be good for your bruised ego, huh.”

patrick is looking at you like he wants to wrap his hands around your neck and choke you. you almost wish he would. your pulse hammers wildly in your throat, and you shoot a look at tashi and art over his shoulder and she dips her head - something about that motion - like she's giving her approval for you to go on, makes you lick your lips and continue -

“and I bet when I threw myself at you and begged for private lessons it felt real fucking nice to be wanted like that. to have someone in the palm of your hand that thought the world of you, only because she couldn't see the real you -” you step closer, craning your neck to meet him. “- but I see the real you now patrick. and I know you're nothing but a bumfuck loser who couldn't amount to anything on his own, so you had no choice but to manipulate someone more naive than you into thinking you were hot shit.” you gesture to tashi and art. “and they're married, patrick. they're in love. you'll never fully be apart of what they have, but you'll keep taking scraps because you're fucking pathetic when it comes down to it.”

“stop fucking talking.” he grits out. he looks, for the first time, like he hates you. “you don't know shit, little girl.”

good.

“you're right I don't.” you step back. “I don't think I can begin to grasp the dynamic going on here between the three of you, but I do know I want no part in it.”

you reach behind you for the door. “im going back to the room. do what you want and then take me the fuck home tomorrow.”

the snick of the door closing sounds more like a resounding slam. patrick stares at the empty space you occupied and swallows heavily. his chest aches. he rubs his jaw.

“I like her.” tashi says, coming up behind patrick. her breasts push against his back through her dress but he doesn't feel anything. “she reminds me of me at that age. is that why you fucked her?”

patricks lip twist to the side and he steps away from her. turns and glares even though he knows this shit is all his own fault.

“she's nothing like you.” he spits.

“she is and she isn't.” art says. he'd been chewing on his nail, elbow propped up on the dresser. “she has tashis fire. but she's sensitive. vulnerable, too. you really fucked her up, man.”

a pang hits patrick right in the stomach.

“I dont know how to fix it.” he admits miserably. he squeezes his hands into fists. runs a hand through his disheveled hair. puffs out a breath. “she fucking hates me.”

“it'll make her a better player.”

“jesus, tashi. that's not what this was about-”

“I know.” she shrugs. “but it will. she might even beat art next time.”

art snorts, but he doesn't disagree. a big part of him feels so bad for you - he sees himself in you, too. that adoration you had for patrick. that hope and fragile tender heart. it was unfortunate you'd gotten wrapped up in patrick and tashis orbit just like he was, because there really was no escape. you could let it eat you alive and make you miserable, or you could jump into the fire and let the flames consume you. art had made his choice long ago, but the decision hadn't been easy. he just hoped it didn't break you, in the end. he had liked playing with you. would like to do so again.

tashi slid her hand up patricks arm.

he inhaled, “I dont know if…”

“its alright.” she told him, running her other hand down his stomach and cupping his already hard cock through his slacks. patrick moaned, unable to help himself. swaying into her. “I want you to tell me about her while you fuck me.”

arts cock twitched in his sweats despite himself. he swallowed at about the same time patrick did.

“tash.” patrick groaned as she undid the buttons - slid his pants down and gripped his flushed cock. “you're so fucked up.”

tashi just grinned, using her grip on his cock as a leash as she stepped back pulling him with her - art watched like a hungry hawk. already sliding his own hand into his sweats to grip himself.

tashi layed back on the bed like a cat, spread her thighs as patrick leaned over her - guided him inside her -

“tell me how tight she is.” tashi whispered right as he slid home and patricks eyes fluttered shut with a groan as he rocked his hips. tashi gripped his ass to pull him fully against her. “tell me.” she panted.

“she's - fuck - she's so fucking tight. has the smallest fucking pussy -”

tashi hummed and licked her lips - “mm, I bet. did she bleed the first time?”

art cursed as his cock throbbed. tashi looked over at him with a knowing glint in her eyes as he flushed with shame. tugged on his cock helplessly as he waited with baited breath for patricks answer.

“Yeah. shit, yeah.” patrick hunched over tashi, working his hips faster. the smack of their flesh starting to fill the room. “but she wanted it. so fucking much - fucking - fuck - begged me to put it in again when I pulled out.”

tashis eyes fluttered, her own flush filling her cheeks. art realized she was getting off on this too, it wasn't just about teasing patrick. art groaned. his wife was such a fucking sadist and he loved her for it.

“begged her daddy to break her little virgin pussy in -” she goaded, wrapping her legs around him. “know she calls you that. can see it all over her face. you're such a dirty old man.” she moaned, the insult having no heat with how turned on she sounded by it. “she's in her room crying and her daddys gonna cum in my pussy thinking about fucking his little girl.”

jesus christ.

the sound patrick let out was animalistic. he pressed tashi down into the bed - fucked her hard and fast and tashi squealed - wrapped her arm around his shoulder and whispered dark things in his ear that art couldn't hear but just the image of it all - the debauchery of what they were all doing- getting off to you- he was so close -

“should've made her stay - should've fucked the brat out of her while me and art watched - should have fucked me in front of her and made her lick your cum out of my pussy, fuck. I wanna see you fuck her - I wanna see how that tight little pussy takes this big cock - you're not gonna listen to her are you? she doesn't mean it. she wants you to touch her, she wants you to force yourself into her disobedient cunt and show her who her daddy is. she doesn't control you. daddy fucks who he wants. she needs to be punished - she needs - fuck - she needs to be broken in more - you should let me do it - let mommy have a go at her - let me play with your little girls pussy - let art have her too. we'll show her. we'll make her good again for her daddy -”

dark promises whispered and pressed against patricks ear until he came inside her with a roar. imagining you under him, with all of them there, watching him force his load deep inside you.

in your room, you lay on the hotel bed and wondered what the future would hold. for the first time, you were nervous about it.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I present to you: at no point in the game is Astarion actually ready for a romantic relationship

Tav is the first person he drank from

The first person he has consensual sex with after 200 years

And he says to them: no one is like you. You're YOU

He genuinely believes that Tav is the *only* person who would be this way, even if it isn't true. He does fall in love with you, he does want you, but I present to you the idea that if things hadn't gone down EXACTLY as they had, Astarion NEVER would have initiated a partnership/romantic relationship for YEARS after escaping Cazador for good.

The man is coded for survival, for self-preservation, and is inherently selfish by nature. It is only because Tav gives selflessly and determinedly reinforces wanting to be with him that he caves in and allows it, but if you try to leave he's thrilled. This is for the best he says, you don't deserve this facade from me he says.

"I don't know how to be with someone even if I want to. I want this to be real but I don't know what real is. I need to not have sex right now"

In act 2, if you break up with him, he agrees with you. He thinks it's the right thing for you because hes not ready. He won't say this unless you initiate a break up but how could he possibly let go of the best thing that's happened to him in his entire undead life? He wouldn't toss out the treasure of you even if he didn't feel ready.

It really does take a patient, calm, supportive Tav to get him in the end, and he DOES want you, I'm not arguing that

I'm arguing that that man is not ready for a committed relationship, doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and in an ideal situation if he thought he had time and options in his life and if he felt safe he would have focused 100% on himself first for a VERY long time.

The tadpoles, the adventure, the pressures of the battles, the fighting the revenge the ascension and the ritual he has to fight or succumb to the fact that the sunlight is gonna nerf him again- all of this contributes to the perfect scene where Tav gets him right "out the gate", first by being a mark and a target and then by simply *not breaking it off with him*

And yes he's in love to the best of his ability to know what love is at this point

And yes he wants you very much

But the man is going through the biggest whiplash of his life and I can say with confidence that he's not... *Ready*. And after all is said and done, Tav will have to continue to be patient with many things with him. There are still a lot of hurdles. He may be with them for a long time before he wakes up one day and realizes, really really realizes, that he's ready.

The power dynamics are off, they're imbalanced. How could he say no to a perfect mark that gives him everything ? Blood, sex, waits when sex is off the table, never breaks up with him never leaves no matter how he rails against them? He can't. He won't, and he doesn't want to, but that doesnt make him emotionally ready for what a genuine relationship is.

He has to learn it, with you, over time, but I don't think he'd jump into learning that and going for it and seeing it as worth it if the situation were in any way different

Without the perfect storm of events, I don't see Astarion jumping into "commited relationship" to be clear, I'm not saying that he isn't capable of feelings or doesn't want tav it's just

It doesn't *seem* to match his character or his struggles to me. For a man that is completely self serving, he accidentally catches feels and then doesn't have the strength to cut you loose even though his act 2 confession is practically him asking you to leave him. If you take the Araj route in particular, he VERY plainly lays his shitty behaviour on the table as if daring you to punish him for it... Or maybe just expecting.

In his spontaneous scene it's softer, it's I love you but I don't know how to do this. And still if you say "I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship" he immediately agrees. In act 3, if you've stuck to him the whole time like glue, he never wants to let you go. Again, I think this level of connection is impossibly rare and everything had to happen as it did to get you there, but the power balance is off still. He says partner, equal, and he wants that. And he WILL get there

But he not only has to struggle with his past, his issues, his trauma, he has to struggle with the power imabalance that you're his Savior. YOU defeated Cazador. YOU protected him in camp and didn't stake him on sight. YOU fed him from thinking creatures for the first time. YOU are one of "a very few select people" who have had sex with him and not been slaughtered immediately afterwards.

You're everything to him

And by the end of the game you already see him trying to shift that power imabalance because HE SEES IT. If you say you'll protect him he WINCES and disagrees, he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be below you, but he sees himself that way anyway. And to me, that's the sign that he wasn't ready, he still isn't ready,

But he will be, one day. And I think that makes it a better written romance than thousands I've read, because it's not perfect. There's grey areas. There's things that can make you uncomfortable. There's parts of it that aren't healthy and won't be for a while. Who knows how long until he feels like he's your equal? Until he feels like this relationship is something he ever would have chosen if things were different?

But he does choose you. He does. He wants you. He'd just never have gotten the chance to if it hadn't been "right place right time" imho

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.