#but don't spit me out
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the final chapter of my favorite fic came out...y'all know what that means!!!!
FIC REVIEW TIME LETS FREAKING GO
Fic: Chew me up but don't spit me out
author: @imdamagecontrol
length: 260k words (mid-length fic)
summary: stripper au where reg left grimmauld a couple years after sirius didn't come back for him and dances to help pay for uni and billionaire ceo james 'walks in'... deviousness and tomfoolery ensues in first dates to italy and much longing and horniness.
review: oh my god. this is going to age into a marauders classic. obviously we have to start with the jegulus: they are PERFRCT. this is the perfect jegulus dynamic omg james is literally sunshine boy and reg is this emotionally unavailable little shit and they want each other SOOOO BAD- reg is genderfluid in this fic, which is honestly one of my favorite hcs along with trans reg. their journey to figuring out their gender actually was so special to me (i'm a genderfluid presenting trans guy) and i loved the way it was portrayed. BLACK BROTHERS ANGST REIGNS SUPREME OMG idk why i like torturing myself so much but this is peak. sirius is also genderfluid and helps reg out once they reconcile. endgame jeggy obviously and background wolfstar.
guys i mean it when i say u NEED to read this. i fully broke into the media room at my no-phone sleep away camp so i could check if this had updated. (it had. it was the black brothers reconciliation chapter. i cried.) ANYWAY READ THIS MASTERPIECE AND WELL DONE @imdamagecontrol !!!!!!!
#lee's shitty reviews#the marauders#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar#marauders#marauders era#barty crouch junior#evan rosier#pandora rosier#damagecontrol#chew me up#but don't spit me out
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"The only person who can save you is yourself, don't rely on anybody else!"
Actually, what has saved me is books and my favourite video game and my cats and my friends who I've shared late nights and too-early mornings with and the dew-covered grass I walked on on the way to a competition bus in ninth grade band and the sunburn that kept me out of school for days the month prior.
I understand the viewpoint of how you are ultimately the person who can save you, but don't discount that you aren't an island. You aren't meant to be your sole savior. Let others save you, too. You are worth the care and love the universe has for you.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like i understand why people say that!!! i do! i was abused and i know how hard it is to hand your heart to somebody else#but you don't have to be alone in saving yourself#i understand the cathartic feeling of climbing your way out of hell and spitting on everybody who put you there#like i dunno sometimes the way people say this just rubs me the wrong way... like we aren't supposed to be saved by others#like we aren't worthy of shared pain/joy and must keep it inside#ALSO WEAR SUNSCREEN. THAT SUNBURN GAVE ME SECOND-DEGREE BURN AND I COULDN'T WALK
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Jon II, ACOK
Davos II, ADWD
Bran III, ADWD
A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD
Theon I, TWOW
Theon as blood sacrifice to the Old Gods.
#asoiaf#theon greyjoy#bran stark#Thinking about how Patchface was given to the Drowned God#and then spit back out as a prophet#it could be that Theon's sacrifice goes similarly#especially because I don't think poor Bran will like having to drink Theon's blood :(#I once read a theory that weirwood trees need a human sacrifice#(especially blood)#in order to be “activated”#it could be that's what Bloodraven is after#doc#religion in asoiaf#the gods are not done with me yet#the old gods
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How do I tell my boss I can't attend her call because james potter is currently licking regulus black's legs after getting back together and is very important that I pay my absolute attention to them right now.
#jegulus#marauders#regulus black#james potter#ao3#chew me up but don't spit me out#they make me so happy help#i'm obsessed#starchaser
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I would argue that Megumi leaving Gojo out of his loved ones when thinking about his idealist life with Tsumiki and Yuji highlights the continued tragedy that is Satoru Gojo's lack of communication and connection skills. Alsoooo (and this might be an asspull) it feeds into my perception that both Megumi and Gojo wanted the relationship to be deeper but both couldn't ever come to truly understand one another and connect on that level. And I have alot more comments on that but that will wait till another day if I feel like it lol
#and that's on that folks#I love the father-son headcanon and fanfics as much as the next guy but I just gotta be realistic lol#I just need wholesome teen dad who doesn't know what he's doing content NOW#but the tradegy of we could have been a found family but I could never reach you works too ig#I spelled tragedy wrong fuck#I still firmly believe this is a Nani - Lilo situation with just like 10x the emotional constipation and trauma#jjk#anway Megumi and Itafushi nation how are we feeling? I feel like I just won the lottery lmaooo this chapter was made for me#jjk 266#jjk leaks#this is just me spitting out words if they don't make sense or you disagree uhhh contact your local congress person to complain about it
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I'm really tempted to make the dragon story into an entirely non-Pokemon AU story of Jamie. I'd like to have a version of her story (albeit tweaked to fit the different setting) that's completely my own, you know?
I dunno, I'm still creatively stuffed up. XD
#Listening to Edge of the World on repeat.#That song has no business being that good.#Don't mind me I feel like spitting out my thoughts today. XD
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hahaha wheee haha
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions#as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit#and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square#man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink#three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city!#still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it#well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy#tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long#I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing#if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too#I realized I missed that...#also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch#got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr#now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that#have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens
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"TAZ Balance was so much better than what they're doing now—" boooooo. tomato tomato tomato i'm throwing tomatoes
#shut up shut up shut up literally shut up#go relisten to the one bit of the thung you like and let the rest of us enjoy what they're doing now#god forbid people grow and change and don't spit out exact carbon copies of the one thing you like#fuck off#i didn't really like Amnesty all that much and you don't see me making it my entire personality#shut up!!!#taz#the adventure zone#taz balance#the adventure zone balance#taz amnesty#the adventure zone amnesty#taz grad#taz graduation#the adventure zone graduation#taz ethersea#the adventure zone ethersea#taz steeplechase#the adventure zone steeplechase#the mcelroys#justin mcelroy#travis mcelroy#griffin mcelroy#clint mcelroy
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Thinking of how "left me like a book on a shelf" is from River's POV and therefore does not mean it is the entirety of the story much like how "the Doctor does not and has never loved me" was uttered from a River who was grieving.
Like the Doctor could have spent a long time putting the TARDIS in stationary orbit around the Library. The Doctor could have puttered about with the Library from years before it was shut down to ensure that everything would go smoothly while doing his best not to change a single thing. And on days when it is too hard, he just stares at the Library from his perch on the TARDIS door. Waiting, hoping, thinking. Trying to find a way out for her. For them.
And he does!
He finds a hundred ways to get her out of the data core. But...something always goes wrong. It's somehow never good enough. She's back, but she's not entirely there.
So he scratches it out, slaps himself, and tries again.
And again.
And again.
But his plans always fail.
But they don't. Not really. His plans could work. Could have worked. His beloved Sexy would help him. She'd always help him when it comes to her Water. But he was too scared. Too frightened of failure. Because one single mistake. One. Single. Mistake. And she's gone. He can never get her back. Forever.
So he runs. And runs. And runs. Until centuries has gone by and companion come and gone. Until he met a younger, more alive version of her. And then they had Darillium. And oh the joys of wonderful joys, what a night that was.
But things end. Even for him. They had to part ways again. Had to say goodbye. So he tries again. Picks up what his previous self had shelved. He tries. Oh how he tries.
But still. That fear exists. Is it worth it? Can he finally accomplish what he'd started a literal lifetime ago?
(He doesn't.)
Off on another lifetime with a new body. He's a...she now? Oh and shorter! Wow. That's new! I wonder what Ri–
On the rare moments she allows herself to succumb to sleep she goes to their his her study. She takes a moment to take everything in. It's unrecognizable now – the study that once was theirs filled with warmth and laughter and-
Every single space was taken. Covered by plans of plans of plans spanning...two...lifetimes now. Sexy still kept it just as it was the last time he she had been in there.
Their His Her favorite throw was still where it was – on their his her favorite corner of their his her favorite couch.
Nothing had changed but everything had changed.
She curled up and buried her face hoping it would still smell of her (It did. They never knew how it worked but somehow her smell still lingered anyway. They thought they were hallucinating at first but other people had been able to smell it too. Sometimes they forget but Sexy also lost her too).
She was a he again. The same face they had four lifetimes ago. The same face who was the first to keep the memory of their meeting.
But wh- what? Why? How? Is this it? Is this the body that finally brings her back home? A fitting act really. He put her in there and so he'll also put her out of there.
But... she wasn't there. Nothing was there. Nothing but chunks of debris and ashes and smelted...somethings.
When he blinked his eyes open (when had he closed them?), Donna's worried face greeted him. He blinked again and blinked. Nothing changed. Everything has changed. He had waited for far too long. He had made her wait for far. too. long. He feared of failing her but now he actually has failed her.
Everything was bland now. Was it just him or is everything a bit...on the side of grey? Donna looks at him like he might break. (He won't. He's a Time Lord. Time Lords don't break.) Even Sylvia had taken to treating him a bit more kindly.
He goes off alone with Sexy. His return to the Noble-Temple (Temple-Noble) household becomes fewer and further in between. One day he finds himself in Venice. Wonderful Venice. His Pond and her Roman (who wasn't yet a Roman) had gone here. There were vampires. And running and –
River?
No silly. River wasn't there.
He blinked. And blinked again. Made sure the sky was blue and the clouds still fluffy white. But was that his leather jacket that just whizzed by past him? Wait. Hold on. That was... Was that? Oh no. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Did they? No. They couldn't have.
But of course, apparently they did. Because that was actually his leather jacket wearing self that just passed by him again(?) tugging along his very-much-not-dead wife along running from... Hold on. Why are they running? What- Who's shooting at her?!
#cues in iconic doctor who intro lmao#hi don't mind me. i'm just being my melodramatic PMS self#it's reaaally wonky i think but argh whatever just spitting out my grief and frustration. come to think of it i find words flow easier when#i am upset lol? hmmm what does that say about my high school self who used to write chapters with 1k as minimum.#it's difficult dealing with people who simply say river is just another one of the doctor's marriages so this is me dealing with it#i had trouble knowing where to stop and then thought OH why not put nineriver in but make it Post-Library River???#lmao and i ended it there because i needed to stop (i have 3 – THREE – exams tomorrow)#dw musings#that turned into a sort of fic ish#doctorriver#doctor x river#doctor who#tia talks tish#river song#eleventh doctor#tenth doctor#twelfth doctor#thirteenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#ninth doctor#the doctor's wife#tardis#what other thing can i tag my sort of fic#tia writes tish#post-library river song#yowzah#i pond queue#11th doctor#12th doctor#10th doctor
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decided to go back to uni
#ive been DELIBERATING. and its a good choice#look i really can't imagine going back to teaching#and what I really don't want is to scramble for a new career in a new field as a junior without education#besides i know what i want#it's just a bachelors. it'll be over in a jiffy#you get paid to study here and I'll have an easier time finding an apartment too -- its the reason im starting on monday already (not uni b#t I lucked out and got put in some electoral classes that I could take just to get student status until may#and then i start the curator bachelors in august so it just. works. i can scarcely believe it but ill have time to change my mind if i do#IM SCARED. IM PUMPED. I FEEL OLD. IT'LL BE FINE.#also lmao every meeting i had with a councelor past few weeks ended with me sobbing because im so terrified and relieved at the same time#(really can't imagine teaching again i think it would kill me)#(but holy shit starting an entirely new carreer at 32? she wildin')#but yeagh. job ops look great and i have always regretted not turning to history so. AUGH PIC RELATED ME ASF#for a split second did I deliberate studying theology to be ordained just to spit the catholic church in the face? i did. what a laughhhh
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sooooooo anyone going to talk about how Debling and Anderson are being styled exactly the same and are very clearly the same age (late 30s to mid 40s) but one of them is going for a MILF (respectable and good, also big mood) and the other is going for a teenager (get away from her or I'll slaughter you where you stand)? no? just me?
okay
#anti debling#polin#violet bridgerton#penelope featherington#bridgerton#lord anderson#lord debling#y'all really are out here shipping penelope with this 40 year old man when she is 19??? over COLIN!? REALLY!?#penelope get behind me i'll protect you#WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR DEB!? AIN'T NO ONE GONNA HELP YOU. JESUS COULD WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR AND HE WOULDN'T HELP YOU#IF YOU DON'T STOP SNIFFING AROUND MY CHILD!!!!#debling could be the nicest guy in the world and i'd still be spitting on him because that woman is a TEENAGER#leave her ALONE
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The other day I rewatched the Lonely King music video and said out loud to myself "It seriously slaps- DON'T TELL CWILBUR" as if he was like, sitting in the other room and would sense my betrayal by admitting his rival has a good song. i may be delusional i don't know
#star spitting her nonsense#dsmp#c!wilbur#c!quackity#c!tntduo#i've actually said this a good couple times now just casually to myself#it's always 'something something don't tell wilbur' like who tf is gonna tattle hello what's happening#i kinda love the idea tho like cwilbur is just vibing in my brain and a faint offended gasp plays out whenever i say like 'cquackity cool'#you guys would tell me if i was going crazy right#unrelated question but just checking. you would right. right?
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i have reread cmu upwards of 15 different times i fear i have a problem
#regulus is so me in it#literally what made me realize i was genderfluid#chew me up but don't spit me out#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#marauders#marauders era#dead gay wizards#fanfic#ao3
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for me? I guess its the way I'll never be able to listen to Escapism without my mind taking me through the heart-wrenchingly beautiful story that is CMU
#dead gay wizards#marauders#james potter#regulus black#the marauders#jegulus#starchaser#sunseeker#chew me up but don't spit me out#cmu#damagecontrol
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I'm currently working on my 2k followers gift/story and writing Jay and Ravi before the storm has me feeling a little emotional. They care about each other so much 😭
#author posting#jay#ravi#literally best friends#it would be a shame if something were to happen........#*mc gets spit out of the lake*#but yeah#all of their interactions in-story are so strained#it's rlly fun to get to write them just like#being friends#though don't get me wrong#i also enjoy it when the girls are fighting lmao
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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