#but the tradegy of we could have been a found family but I could never reach you works too ig

[sanasanakun]

I would argue that Megumi leaving Gojo out of his loved ones when thinking about his idealist life with Tsumiki and Yuji highlights the continued tragedy that is Satoru Gojo's lack of communication and connection skills. Alsoooo (and this might be an asspull) it feeds into my perception that both Megumi and Gojo wanted the relationship to be deeper but both couldn't ever come to truly understand one another and connect on that level. And I have alot more comments on that but that will wait till another day if I feel like it lol

[pvrpleblccd]

As the world caves in.

syposis : It was now or never. This was his only chance, never will he have another chance like this.

pairing : dreamwastaken x f.reader

tw : angst, sad, tradegy, death, mentions of death/suicide, mc going through a very rough time

~

ᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴄᴀᴠᴇs ɪɴ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴍᴀʟᴛᴇs

I fell on my knees, looking at my family laying on the floor, white foam and another odd colour of a substance coming out of their mouths. My hand started to tremble as I reached out for my little siblings hand. It was cold. I couldn't help, but sob. Looking at their faces made me weak, it was pale, way too pale and far from its original tone. Their expressions will be one that will be engraved with me, they looked somehow peaceful, if it wasn't for the foam, we could mistaken for them to be asleep.

I put my palm on their cheeks, taking in their features for the last time, they're so young, way too young. They barely lived. There's so much ahead of them. They were looking forward to their lives, I was supposed to watch them grow up and see them graduate. Watch them enjoy their lives and, maybe, them eventually becoming parents.

My head suddenly turned to my parents, I looked at their faces and both of them held a small smile with dried tears clearly noticeable on their faces. My eyes glanced down on their hands, they were hold each other's hands, with their wedding rings on. Another sob came out of my mouth and hoped that they were able to move on with their next life. I felt a tiny happy feeling inside of me, my parents were divorced and they separated, but seeing them like this.. It made me feel.. somehow happy.

My tears were never ending. They kept on falling as I let out a scream. It hurt. My family is gone, without me, and soon I too will be gone. But I did not wanted to go, not yet.. Not alone. I got up and grabbed a blanket, placing it over my family. I noticed one of our gardening flowers in the living room, it was withering, but I took it and placed it on top of the blanket.

"Thank you.. For everything. I hope you were able to move on. I love you all... May we meet again."

A hiccup escaped my mouth, I quickly wiped my tears even though they kept on coming. My eyes went to the TV, the timer kept on going down and flashing, reminding me the time I had left to live the life I couldn't live at its fullest. I clenched my jaw and threw the closest thing to me on it, which was a family frame and made my way to the front door, locking it, out of habit and looked at my house I've lived it for the past 18 years.

All the good and bad memories flashing in my head, finally arriving to the conclusion even if I mostly had downs, I've enjoyed many moments of it. I was still glad to be able to live, experiencing things, even though I would have experienced more. Then the feeling of regret came to me, I shouldn't have wasted the time and moments I locked myself up in my room.

"Goodbye... My memory box."

With that, I made my way to the usual hangout of my friends and I. There was one more thing I wanted to say to someone first. The thought of them gone came across my head and my walking became jogging then running. The people in the streets were wildly insane. Some celebrating, some were trying to loot places before entering their bunkers, some were making out, some were crying. There were too many things happening, it terrified me. The sirens started to go and a mix of screaming, cheering and crying could be heard.

"I don't have much time... I need to see him... Its- AHH!"

The sound of guns could be heard, people started to shoot each other and a bunch of troubled people descended their vehicles and screamed 'We're all going to die soon, give up your life already'. That sentence caused a havoc amongst the people, bodies started to flop on the ground and blood spattered everywhere, this made me run faster. I stop dead in my tracks as I came face to face with the silent guy in my physics class who I would always bring his favourite chocolate chips cookie. My hands immediately went up as soon as I saw the crossbow he was holding.

“Nerd.”

Every step he took, made me insides hurt me even more. I would always try to cheer him up or make him smile or even get to open up, in the end I would always be the one ending up talking about how much of a wuss I am when I would always fail to get along with him again. He came up to me, his long pink hair swaying by his side, I closed my eyes and waited for the agonizing pain, but it never came, instead, I was engulfed in a warm hug. My eyes shot wide open as I returned the hug and squeezed the man.

“Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me. You made me feel things that a normal teenager should feel. What do they call it? Fireflies? No, I think it was butterflies. But too bad, it’s time to say goodbye now. I do admit, I will miss your rants.”

“Techno-“

“Dave, now go. Go to him.”

“Dave… thank you.”

I felt him give a small peck on my cheek before he turns away gracefully, I fully took note of what he was wearing, it was beautiful. He was dressed as if he was a king or even a god, his red cape flowing through the wind perfectly. I smiled and continued my course. After making turns, I finally arrived to the hangout spot, my running turned into jogging then walking, then I finally stopped, seeing his tall figure and his signature long brown coat and beanie.

"Wil-"

There he was. Comforting her, whispering things in her ear. The both of them were sitting on the bench we made, so the whole gang could fit in it. She looked up to him, her tears still falling down. I saw him lean in and she did the same thing. My breathing stopped. My head and thoughts went numb. Both of their eyes closing, lips about to touch. Before I could see the action happen, I was turned around, my face making contact with a torso and my body embraced in a hug. My sobs were silenced by the loud sirens. It hurts. He knew I liked him, he knew and now he's there kissing Niki.

My best friend.

I confessed to him, only to have him tell me he wanted space to think. Niki knew I liked him as well, hell she was the one who helped me gather my courage to go confess to him. Was I that oblivious to not notice the sudden change in Wilbur's behaviour whenever he saw Niki close or the way he talked, always harsh to me, but always soft to Niki? And the look he held in his eyes when I'm with him, nothing but boredom and annoyance and when Niki showed up, his eyes would light up and smile immediately. He would always find a way to finis the conversation quickly so that he can go talk with her.

I was blinded by what I thought was love.

"Let it out.. Let it all out y/n."

I recognized who it was just by the sound of his voice. Clay. I hugged him tighter, before my knees gave up, the both of us ending up on the ground. Never once Clay let me go. His arms were around me in a protective manner, his hand caressing my back and felt him humming something, head still on his chest.

Clay.

The one who was always been there for me when I was at my lowest and needed someone. The one who always took me out of my cave of a room when I was sad. The one who would stay up all night to play games with me. The one who helped me the most when my older sibling died. The one who would encourage me to go hang out with Nick, George and him when the others were having a chill hangout when I wasn't invited. The one who always cheered me up when I was gloomy and unwell. The one who always visited me whenever I missed a day in school.

He was the one who truly cared about my health.

The only one who truly cared about me.

I looked up to him, taking in all his features for the first time. His freckles sprayed perfectly on his face, his blonde hair was displayed in a messy way, they were wavy, reminded me of Wilbur's. His eyes were closed, eyelashes long as ever, lips looking plum and nose looking boopable. He wore a simple outfit, jeans with black converse and his signature lime green hoodie with a smiley face of it. The small breeze made his hair slightly move to the wind and made his eyes open. Those beautiful emerald green eyes.

Oh, they were the prettiest colour I've ever seen. Just looking at them, I got lost in them. They would always gave me a sort of warm and welcoming feeling. How could've I not looked at him like this before? Never once I fully took in his features. Clay, is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Why was I always focused on Wilbur?

When the one who truly cared for me, was always by my side?

A wave of guilt hit me, my vision becoming blurry ones again, Clay must've felt my shaking and heard my sobs once again. He looked down to me, eyes meeting each other's and a soft smile came across is beautiful face. I was no longer held in a hug, but his hands made contact with my cheeks, cupping them. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and put his forehead on mine. I found it selfish that I enjoyed this, Clay was always there for me and I wasn't able to pay his kindness.

"Clay... Why? You were always there for me, but.. I don't understand.. why?"

"It's you, y/n. It's always been you. I was head over heels for you, ever since I saw you for the first time. As we grew closer, I fell even more for you. Y/n, you're a wonderful woman, you're fucking gorgeous and you're amazing. Wilbur's a fucking asshole for not accepting you, the man fucked up and seeing you losing your smile.. It broke me. It fucking broke me. I didn't want you to lose that precious smile. You're an amazing person and you deserve the world, I.. I couldn't give you all of the things you deserve.

You went through so much and it always broke me seeing you unwell and unstable. I don't know how you do it... You're so fucking strong. After all that.. You still managed to keep a smile and be an optimist. I know that happy persona is nothing but a front, I know, trust me. — he paused for a moment, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear — Darling, you have no idea how lucky and happy I am to be able to see the real you. Every moment I spent with you, were the best moments in my life, Y/n."

I took in all of his words and played them in my head several times. I felt his thumb caressing my cheeks and hear him sniffle. I noticed the tears rolling down his face and this made something explode in my heart. I never saw Clay cry. Never once this man showed any sign of sadness or whatsoever before. Taking in on the fact that he was always on the one sided love destroyed me. He was making sure I was doing okay even though it meant to destroy him.

My thoughts were fighting against each other. All of the moments I have spent with Clay played in my head all over again. Remembering all of the times he would make me blush, because we would compliment me. The times were we would tease each other. The times were we would both pretend to be lovers just to be able to get 'couple discounts' and 'couple contests'. The moments I truly felt happy. And finally... The moment he would always make my heart skip a beat and give me butterflies. All of the thoughts led me to one conclusion that was written everywhere, all of the signs were there, but I was too blind actually see it...

Clay was the one I truly loved.

My eyes flickered to the object in the sky, slowly but quickly approaching us. I panicked and placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked at me in the eyes, his were red due to the crying and his expression was even more hard to take in. My breathing started to quicken, I shook my head, wanting to talk with him more, figure things out, but the object in the sky was making me stressed.

"Why..?! W..Why haven't you said anything Clay..?! I... Why only now??"

He looked up seeing the nukes coming closer and clenched his jaw. He once again faced me and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes immediately closed, suddenly forgetting about everything happening around us. Never wanting for this moment to end. When he pulled away, he pulled me back to reality. The sounds of the nukes coming was getting louder and louder. The lights started to blind my view.

"Clay.. Clay! N..No.. We can talk about this... I.. We can fix this... We can..."

Clay engulfed me in a hug, caressing me, trying to calm my horrified self. I clung onto the man whom I've realized, was the one. My cries were loud, I felt drops of water on my shoulder. He too was crying. Kissing my forehead on last time, he smile at me saying his final words.

"In another life... Maybe, it will be meant to be."

I looked at him for the last time, accepting my fate and gave him a genuine smile, for the first time.

"I love you."

unedited

published : June 20 2021, 4:40 am

modified : August 25 2021, 12:25pm

[leonthecardboardunicorn]

Land of Agreement, Chapter 4

And now onto chapter 4! As usual, spoilers for Hugo’s route abound.

How long had it been? How long had it been since Hugo had left us all alone? As the next week passed, I found myself thinking of that night more and more, wondering where it had all gone wrong. 'If only I could go back to that night..' I thought. They called me the Goddess of Time, and yet I couldn't even access those powers when I wanted to. For them, it was as easy as breathing, and yet I could count on one hand how many times I'd been able to use it.

But if I had, I would've gone back to that night. I would've followed Hugo, I would've found out what happened. I would've tried to stop him-

Where were my powers when I needed them? Where was Hugo when I needed him?

When I went back to the cabin to check on Vain, I heard soft voices coming from the other room. “-It's still not enough. I thought that we would have more time than this, but there are still so many things to do. Felix is still out there, and Hugo..” My heart ached as I listened to him.

“I'm scared for him too, but I don't know what we can do. Even if we could..” Mischa's voice faded off, and I stepped closer to the door to listen.

“Mischa, do you remember this? That was back when-” He suddenly stopped. “Goddess, if you are there, you can come in.”

I gingerly stepped into the room. Vain was standing at the desk, pouring over some kind of book; Mischa was sitting at the side of the desk, peering down at the pages. He beckoned me in, and I saw that it was a book of photos.

“We were just reminiscing over some old memories,” he said. “Come look.” Looking at the pages, my heart soared at the images of the younger Vain, Mischa, and Hugo, then a young child. The little Hugo had longer hair and a bright smile. I was surprised at how many photos there were. “This was from when we found a camera on one of our missions. Hugo was practically demanding we take pictures.”

“I seem to recall you enjoying taking pictures too, Vain,” Mischa said happily. “These might be the only pictures I've seen of Vain smiling.”

Vain flipped through the pages, telling me small stories of each picture. “I remember.. The first time after Hugo came to this time, my first mission in control, he used up almost all of his magic. He was asleep for days, and I took him immediately back to the future. I.. I thought he wouldn't wake up. When he did, I forbid him from going back. He just snuck out after me. 'You can't stop me from going on my mission', he said.” He let out a small chuckle. “If he hadn't been so determined, maybe I would've been the one to deliver you the prophecy.”

If Hugo had stayed behind, if we had never met- “I can't imagine..”

He flipped to the next page, and I couldn't take my eyes off. Vain was silent, but I could feel his gaze on me. “Is that..”

Vain was much younger in the picture, standing next to a woman with long, silver hair. The resemblance was unmistakable. “Is this-”

“Our mother,” he said. “This is the only photo that I have of her.” I remembered Mischa's words about how they had been on their own; my heart ached for them.

“Mischa told me about how you took care of Hugo,” I said at last. “I'm sorry you had to go through that; it's clear you care a great deal about him.”

All was quiet for a little while. And then I heard a strange sound, faint and unpleasant. In the back of my mind, it was familiar, but I could only cover my ears.

Vain asked, “What's wrong, little bunny?”

“There was this strange noise,” I told him. The sound was fading in and out, but I could hear his voice. “It was disturbing-”

“Would a story take your mind off of it?” It was an unusual offer, especially for Vain, but I nodded. He was quiet for a long time, closing his eyes; even Mischa was quiet.

“Once upon a time, as the world was tearing apart, a Dragonkin man and a human woman fell in love. As they hid from the world, they had a child. They managed to hide away for several years.

“And then one day.. there was a mighty battle. The Dragonkin man was killed in the battle, and the woman and her child just barely escaped with their lives- and not without help. A powerful woman, the leader of a nearby village, took pity on the pair and helped them to flee. However, the woman..” He opened his eyes, “the Goddess, sustained great injuries protecting them. She gave her life to save us.”

His words hit me hard; my chest felt tight. 'So this was my future,' I thought. This was what had become of me in the time that they came from. I had known that their lives were filled with tradegy- but to think-

But I listened to Vain's story. Something told me that I needed to hear this, that Vain needed to tell it. “Before the Goddess fell, she granted a gift to the woman and her child, the gift of her powers. A few months later, the woman had her second son, dying shortly after, leaving the elder child to raise the younger one.. And then they discovered that the second child had inherited the magic of time.” So that was how Hugo and Vain had come to have time magic.

“However, as Hugo grew, we discovered something strange. Perhaps it was because of the Goddess's gift, perhaps because of being born a Dragonkin, he could not recharge his magic alone.”

“He needed the power of love,” I said. I remembered the struggles he had gone through to be able to restore his magic.

“All time magic is powered by love,” he said. “Doesn't matter if its the love of your friends, romantic, or familial. The only difference was that Hugo could also borrow it from others.”

And I remembered the times that my own power had activated; I don't know why I had never realized it. It had been love for the friends who protected me- or love for Hugo, who fought at my side. At the time, my only thought had been protecting them.

“However, it was imperative that Hugo always be able to regain his magic. If he were to lose his magic completely, he'd-” He stopped himself, but I got the message loud and clear.

I felt sick to my stomach. I thought of how many times he hovered on the edge of losing magic, hovering on the edge of death, and I had never known. “Poor Hugo..” If just one thing had gone wrong.

“Liz, there's something else.” My stomach dropped as he met my eyes. “As our power is.. borrow, the power of love could restore our magic, but it would always be draining. Like trying to refill a glass with a hole in the bottom- and the hole is only growing bigger and bigger as the days pass.”

I couldn't understand, I didn't want to understand. “What are you saying?” My head was pounding, and suddenly it was like the sound was growing louder.

“With or without the power of love, we are losing our magic,” he said plainly.

Losing their magic faster by the day, and without their powers, Hugo would- “Does Hugo know?” I demanded. “Is that why he ran?”

“I kept it all a secret for so long, but I told him everything on that night,” he said. I thought of Hugo, finally able to see a future ahead of him, only to be denied it- “But I only told him when I believed I had finally found a solution. All we need to do is go back to the source.”

“You can save him?” I asked. That terrible sound was growing louder and louder, but now there was something else, something that I couldn't place-

“It has always been my duty to protect my brother. I will do anything to protect my brother. And so I gave myself a new mission, my most important mission of all-” Louder, louder, and then he was suddenly right in front of me, and my back pressed against the wall, and then I finally realized what the sound was- “to kill you.”

-The sound of bells.

[weabbynormalblog]

Things I learnt from Quarentine. Be a fashion Mavis Its ok to take scissors to clothing you bought because the dreaded "what was I thinking" syndrome. You've seen the transformation videos not the 5min crafts ones those don't work. Then you cut the sleeves off and make it into a v neck, boom! Now I never want to take it off. Truth. I also made sweat pants into shorts best decision ever, my yoga pants are next. Now I see things through New Quarentine eyes. I'm looking to convert everything. Declutter, zen there,craft here, now time to customize! Make a schedule It may sound boring and anal, you would be surprised at what you can accomplish when you schedule it. Schedule everything, all the things you love as well as the chores. Following a schedule is not just for busy families. Being scheduled does not mean you can't be spontaneous, you could leave a block somewhere here and there. We all have things to do for ourselves and often for others. Sometimes we need to bend like the reed in the wind. You won't sweat the small stuff cause its all manageable and doable. Dislike chores? Think of it now as a ritual that do for those you love; including yourself. Example as a child my mother was known as the Dragon Lady. Our beds and rooms needed to be clutter-free and spotless always. As an adult I have chosen to let slide a few things here and there. Making my bed is a testament to my complicated relationship with my mother that made me who I am today. She is no longer living, still I feel close to her. When I did try to let it slide, it was so strange not to make it, I should leave myself a chocolate too 😋 How to Follow a Schedule The key is to break down larger tasks into 20 minuts segments. To manage energy better toggle rest, activities, work and play. Include coloring, puzzles and crafts, things that are fun. Remember to schedule some quiet time and exercise as well. Having certain activities planed on different days will give you something positive to concentrate on and look forward to while your cleaning out the fridge or microwave. Not while driving, please watch the road. So you want to get into better shape log it on your schedule and know that your helping your brain too during these stressful times. Sometimes we have to be our own best friend and activity director. Prioritize

Everything has its time and place. Plan for tomorrow for today. Basic needs first. Time for cleaning, organizing short or long term projects. It can also include time for reducing stress, thats good for everyone. Reducing social media time, computer gaming and online/screen entertainment. I have found less is best for me. I replaced the time spendt on those things with baking, learning a new hobby, doing crafts, small home improvements and music. I also limit my Social Media exposure time. I suffer from a list of medical symptoms so max 2 hours over the course of the day is plenty social interaction for me online. If you are a SMI(social media influencer) social media is your job then its even more important to have boundaries. As an x graphics designer often I'm on a social media purge. I'll go a day or 2 without my phone on me. Then I limit to what is a healthier amount. I pay for it with swollen eyes, migraines and more stress. Whether we accept it or not the news affects us all. We need put things into a healthier perspective too with all the miss information that goes on out there online. Cultivate a sense of humor With all the doom and gloom that comes with this world, my brain,body issues, the Covid out there with my self isolation. Comedy and tradegy have never been closer. Watch some Dry Bar, its a hoot! Being human we have the ability to laugh. Humor is healthy for us in many ways. It can help change a bad mood into a better one. Laughing actually causes a positive physicalogical response in our brains and bodies. As does music. So get busy laughing, singing and dancing.

Old dogs can learn new tricks. Where our bodies may fail us as we grow older, we do become more resilient and wiser. We adapt, learn and convey. Yes some better than others. As we are what we eat, we are also what we think. Joy, contentment, peace and happiness is available to all no matter the situation. Transcendental meditation is key, a healthy lifestyle, good diet(no processed or fake food) and balance in all you do. Not as easy as it sounds. Like anything else worth doing, it takes time, practice and patience to juggle all those balls and keep them in the air. Quarentine taught me how to express my thoughts and be heard. Yes, I still have something to contribute to the world, Mr.Monologue, regardless of my mental health challenges and physical issues! It feels so good, to shine and bust out of all that negativity. I choose unlimited and not to be a waste of space. I will not let my loved ones death be in vain. I am hopeful that my encouragements have the capacity to heal, grow, adapt and flourish for others as well as for myself. To not give up, to fight the good fight. Some people are so wrapped up in self pity and they can't see past thier pain. They don't see the opportunity to grow from it. From a place of fear there is only fear. If you are optimistic and open to knowing you can feel better, won't you then try? From a place of love, theres more if it, it's easy to see. Stanby and take a deep breath-reconize the signs of your triggers, choose a different outcome. Challenge yourself to understand your triggers and affect them positively over time. That was me about 3 years ago. My moods running me. Practicing mindfulness does help. Now my anger has a shelf life. My sleep has improved greatly and so has my overall attitude and that keeps me chugging along. At some point I get more results which then motivates me further to follow my schedule, because there are results cha cha cha! Accidents happen when you are handicap, I'm learning it comes with the rough terrain. Knowing when its time to let go... It took Roll with Cole and his life partner and caregiver Charisma for me to understand that I was still engaged in a toxic relationship; while trying to survive brain / spinal injury etc. To rebuild my life. The very last thing that I needed was a negative Nancy or fearful Fred monologuing outside my head. I got enough on my plate just trying to be autonomous and in the best health possible right now. At one point our "relationship" took a turn for the worst it got very physical in a dangerous way. I took a huge step back. Silly me I thought we could help eachother out, it worked so well before the car accident. No so, ya its not working and not for a lack of trying on my part. I don't have the physical energy or the capacity to "work things out" anymore, nor waste my precious time. Thanks to #RolewithCole and Charisma for being great examples of what is working and how they make it work. Thank you for sharing. Its more than encouraging to stick to my rehab program understanding what Cole and his family has been through together. Thanks for your beacon of positivity. It so does help. I know I will find my way now even when I'm on my own. Be safe and kind out there ❤ pass it on.

[bamitstg-blog]

Its been a long time. Feelings with grief

Its been a while since I've been on here but I figured maybe it will do me some good to do some writing and let it all out.

7 months ago I lost my boyfriend in a motorcycle accident.... Quite terrible. Its been a long journey since then and I can say, it doesnt get easier. Since its happened I've experienced many emotions.

My first feelings were shock and denial. You see these tradegies on the news and hear about people dying but you're so distracted with your own life you never think it can happen to you. Because obviously you never think something so bad can happen to you. So... When I got the call that was the beginning of this long life lesson journey I needed to figure out how to get through. This in a way was a huge wake up call. Crazy how something so terrible has to happen for you to wake up.

I experienced regret and the "what ifs". Brandon and I never had a perfect relationship but we always counted on each other no matter what. We had our ups and downs but no matter what we always found our way to each other. I regretted how things went down.... I wished we never had any downs, I wish I could change our fights. Feeling such a deep sadness made me even regret at one point ever meeting him because maybe if I never met him I wouldnt feel so heartbroken and alone (I know that sounds so terrible but obviously I never meant it). My "what ifs" were what if that night I had told him to come over, he would have never been on that road he was killed on. That's the one that hurts me so bad, in a way I felt guilty maybe I could have saved him if I just sent that text.

I felt anger.... Alot of it. Towards the driver that hurt him and took him from me. I felt anger towards God because why would he cause me so much pain. Why would he take such a beautiful soul from this world. Since Brandon's death I cant lie but I have lost my faith a little bit.

I also felt lucky.... Why? Because I was so blessed to have found a man like Brandon. I didnt get to have as much time as I wanted to but I got to have him for a year and 2 months, and he gave me such beautiful memories. Ive had unconditional love from my family. But he showed me what unconditional love was from a boyfriend. For that I'm truly thankful for. He was my person, my best friend.

It doesnt get easier but it does get bearable. I miss him everyday and think about him every minute. But I know hes watching over me.