#but cisgender straight men dating bisexual women or trans women

[colorisbyshe]

god, i'm trying to not get into it

but i do think the overlap between people who are like "cisgender straight people who need an emotional bond before they have sex are QUEER and are MORE QUEER than any fag or dyke who thinks they aren't, GET OUT if you don't think they belong in every QUEER space" and the people who like... quiver at the knees at the idea of a bisexual woman bringing her cisgender straight bf (and always that gender combo, bi men are not getting yelled at) to some public gay events to support her is hilarious

like what are we even doing here

"pride is for some cisgender straight people to make about themselves at the expense of whoever they want but allies aren't allowed at all, even though they're literally only there to support us"

how is this a popular mindset

like these CAN be two separate groups but often... it's the same people

hellO?

[gatheringbones]

[“While for some, it did not matter how others viewed them, Gee explained that he would feel bothered if others viewed him as anything other than heterosexual. Gee stated, “Yeah, ‘cause I don’t want a man coming up to me on the street and being into me and hitting on me and being gay with me, because then Ima have to set him straight.” I asked Gee what he meant by setting someone straight. Gee simply stated, “It’s going to depend on how aggressive they are,” and he did not explain any more with further probing.

For Gee, being symbolically rendered as other than heterosexual meant that he was recognized as a potential date or hookup for gay/bisexual/queer men. Rather than simply taking a compliment from a man flirting with him or responding that he is heterosexual, Gee felt that he would have to “set him straight.” The man’s queerness, in this instance, is an affront to Gee’s being. Thus, Gee’s “setting him straight” becomes conceptualized as an act of self-defense. Further, Gee’s worries about being perceived as other than a heterosexual man and experiencing other men hitting on him was not only about his sexual orientation but about his gender identity, as well.

When I asked Gee about the murders of Black trans women, he responded:

Well yeah, I could see that, I wouldn’t kill them, but I could see why men would do that. Like there’s a fear, you know, and that’s a threat to your masculinity. You’d feel violated in a certain way. I know men who would do that. I wouldn’t do that, but I know men who would.

Gee conceptualized dating and/or being with a trans woman as an assault upon his manhood and his masculinity. Being with a trans woman would mean that others may see him as gay or bisexual rather than straight, lowering him in a hierarchy of masculinities to what Connell terms “subordinate masculinities.” Connell notes, “Oppression positions homosexual masculinities at the bottom of gender hierarchy among men.” Thus, even if a gay/bisexual man embodies an otherwise hegemonic masculinity, their non-heterosexual identity functionally depreciates their masculinity and manhood. Trans women’s embodiment of a “pariah femininity” is contaminating to cis-heterosexual men’s masculinity, and violence against trans women enables cis-heterosexual men to move back up this hierarchy out of a subordinate masculinity.

While Gee, here, stated that he himself would not commit such violence, he exemplified Connell’s conceptualization of “complicit masculinities.” Gee would not enact the violence, but he continues to benefit through his allegiance to other cis-heterosexual men and his willingness to justify their actions.

In the Introduction, I quoted Elektra from Pose stating, “They don’t kill us because they hate us. They kill us because they hate what it means to love us.” Gee explained repeatedly throughout the interview that he did not hate LGBT people. He was more accepting of cisgender LBQ women, because he had a fetish about being with a woman who wants to be with another women. However, he was tolerant of cisgender GBQ men and trans people. What is at question here, though, is not whether he can accept others existence. For Gee, trans women existing and him being seen as attracted to trans women are two different things. To be with a trans woman would render him less masculine, less heterosexual, and less of a man. “]

alithia zamantakis, from thinking cis: cisgender heterosexual men, and queer women’s roles in anti-trans violence, 2023

[chadchadsonthesnail]

Hey! If you are queer and you don't think bi people, pan people, asexual people, or aromantic people are valid? Go fuck yourself! If you don't think Heterosexual Aromantic people and Heteroromantic Asexual people are members of the LGBTQIA+ community? Go fuck yourself! If you say "I wouldn't date a bisexual/biromantic person because they are attracted to/have dated [the opposite gender]."? Go fuck yourself! If I see any lesbian say that shit, I block them! Because guess what? There are also lesbians who have dated guys! I'm one of them! I did that before I realized I wasn't attracted to them! So go fuck yourself! If you say that trans people/people under the trans umbrella aren't valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think that alloromantic asexuals are not valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think that allosexual aromantic people aren't valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think someone isn't a valid lesbian because they think some men look pretty/are aesthetically attractive? Go fuck yourself! Same for the other way around with gay men finding a women pretty/aesthetically attractive! And anyone who says "oh you aren't bi/pan because you are in a relationship with a man/women, or because when asked you listed more men/women that you were attracted to than the other gender, so you are just gay/straight!" No! Go fuck yourself! If you say that being nonbinary, or having any gender identity other than trans man or trans woman doesn't make you a part of the community, and that the only valid gender identities outside of cis woman and cis man are trans woman or trans man? Go fuck yourself!

We are ALL facing hate, and we do not deserve to get hate from within! Because we are all valid!

If you hate on people like this, you are just as bad as homophobes and transphobes, because JUST LIKE THEM, you are hating on someone for their attraction, or for their gender identity!

It's fine if your attraction is mainly towards cisgender women or men because both the gender identity AND the physical body parts are part of your attraction. You didn't make that choice, you aren't excluding them out of hate. But if it's towards cisgender people solely to exclude trans people? Yeah, go fuck yourself. Because you don't control what factors into your attraction, so having something like that be part of your attraction is fine. If your attraction is towards both people who identify as female AND people who have a vulva, or vice versa, yeah, you do you, you didn't choose for the presence or lack of a primary or secondary sex characteristic, that's just a part of your attraction. But the MOMENT the intent is to exclude trans people, you are just being an asshole.

So yeah, if you think that any of the identities I mentioned aren't valid? Let me know so I can block you!

Everyone else, if you are part of any of these identities, as someone who falls under a few of these categories, (Asexual, Asexual Alloromantic, Falling under the nonbinary umbrella) I will always accept you. As long as you yourself are not being exclusionary. You are JUST as valid as anyone else!

Signed, an Asexual Lesbian Demigirl

[author-of-oddities]

𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣/𝕊𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

𝑀𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁 - Cisgender (she/they), pan. Thought she was straight until her partner came out as nonbinary

𝒞𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓎 - Demigirl (they/she), straight. Presents more androgynous as they grow up

𝒢𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒹𝒶 - Cisgender (she/her), bisexual

𝒫𝒶𝒸𝒾𝒻𝒾𝒸𝒶 - Cisgender (she/her), lesbian. Her parents weren't happy finding this out, but they handled it better than they did when Dipper was her beard

𝒟𝒾𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓇 - Trans man (he/him), bicurious. Only considered dating women, but started to take an interest in men later in his teens

𝒲𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓎 - Cisgender (she/they), bi & asexual

𝑅𝑜𝒷𝒷𝒾𝑒 - Nonbinary (they/them), nblw. Their parents are very supportive

𝒮𝑜𝑜𝓈 - Genderqueer (any pronouns), bi. He doesn't really consider labels in this sense though, he really just exists

𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓁𝑒𝓎 - Cisgender (he/him), bi. Incredibly frustrated by the fact that not only does everyone assume he's straight, but also assumes he's bigoted. Came out to Stanford in their early teens in an attempt to comfort him

𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒹* - Cisgender (he/they), gay. Stan was the first person he came out to, while Stan was incredibly disappointed when playing match-maker didn't work out.

*Could also be a trans man (he/they). Dipper would anxiously beat around the bush when coming out to him, then rush to try to explain what being trans means (since, you know, he wasn't in that dimension for 30 years), but Ford would either finish Dipper's sentence for him or reply with something along the lines of "me too" (but in a more Ford-sy way, of course)

𝐹𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒹 - Cisgender (he/him), gay. He realized in college, and ended up marrying a childhood friend of his in order to beat the allegations

[textk4kira]

Csigender, straight aces exist and can date, have sex, get married, be homophobic, be transphobic. They are cisheteronormative. Bisexuals can't ever be straight and experience homophobia even when passing as straight. Cisgender, straight aces are literally straight and comparing bisexuals to straight people is BIPHOBIC.

HSSD has an exception for asexuals. HSSD is the SUDDEN loss of sexual attraction that CAUSES DISTRESS and is used primarily to diagnose men with erectile dysfunction. It is not conversion therapy to be prescribed viagra. Secondly, cisgender straight aces have not alwaysbeen included iin the LGBT community. In AVEN, people were exrperssing disgust at David Jay lumping aces in the community back in the early 2000s. So

No, excluding people is not a form of marginalization. Are women marginalized BY LGBT PEOPLE for excluding them from LGBT resourcse? No. Cisgender, straight aces are not marginalized by LGBT peopel for being excluded. Religious trauma is not an LGBT specific issue. You ahve still yet to list a single LGBT specific resource cisgender, straight people need.

LGBT support is not an LGBT resource. Feminists are allied wth the LGBT community but are not inherently a part of it. Cisgender,straight women still aren't queer just because theyre allied. You have yet to name a SINGLE tangible resource cisgender, straight aces need from Lesbian Gay Bi Trans people that they do not get from the ace community or aro community

No, address it. Do you think cisgender straight women who are not ace deserve LGBT resources if they are raped for not being sexually attracted to their rapist?

I'm literally trans. Comparing the exclusion of CISGENDER straight peple to that of trans poeple is transphobic.

Hello anon,

I have already addressed the points you made previously, and I will not waste time addressing you further. I will be turning off anonymous asks, for the time being.

If you would like to perpetuate ace/arophobia, you should have enough courage to do so off anon.

I am only posting this to highlight the ace/arophobia that exists within the lgbtqia+ community.

Sincerely,

A disabled, trans gray-aroace person.

[serrennedyanonwriter]

Guess who’s doing the hc thing? Me!

1 | 2 | 3

Anyways, this is part one of ??? I honestly don’t know how many there will be since I’m not only doing certain characters and leaving many out. Please don’t be homophobic/transphobic/etc. If you really hate this, then just scroll. Thank you!

Rebecca Chambers

Lesbian/Nonbinary/Polygamous/Aroace

I’m going to be honest when I say I hc a lot of characters as aroace and polyamorous as I myself am aroace and polyamorous, and I crave representation.

Anyway, I don’t see her dating a man. She hates them /hj

As for being nonbinary, she gives off the vibes, I don’t know how to explain it.

Continuing on, she’s also aroace as she isn’t really interested in anyone in either way. Like, it takes a lot for her to actually fall in love.

Also, she’s polyamorous because I said so, fight me /hj

Billy Coen

Straight Ally

Going to be honest when I say I’m biased when it comes to him.

I don’t really like his character, not to say no one can. Like, he has a good backstory, just don’t like the stuff he says to Rebecca, who may I remind you is 18, and judging by the fact the game takes place in July, she recently graduated, and he’s like 26.

He gives me the ick, I’m sorry, and for that reason, I don’t see him as anything but a straight-cisgendered man.

While I can attempt to ignore it as the writers being weird, I can’t do it since then I’d be biased as I’ve not done it for any other creep in the series, and I’m not going to start now.

Albert Wesker

Pansexual/Trans-Masculine/Aroace/Polyamorous

I mainly hc him as pansexual because of his VA seeing him as such, so it’s kind of semi-canon.

Plus, he hates everyone equally, and I find that to be an amazing reason to be pansexual.

Trans because my boyfriend made me realize how funny it’d be for Wesker to know of Jake’s existence, just ignores it.

Aroace as I don’t see him typically being attracted to anyone in anyway.

And polyamorous because I love shipping him with Krauser and William, so why not make him have both at the same time? /hj

William Birkin

Bisexual/Polyamorous

Remember how I said I like shipping Wesker with him? Yeah, that’s why he’s polyamorous. He has a wife AND a boyfriend.

Bisexual as he’s a men and women kisser /hj

Chris Redfield

Bisexual/Demisexual/Polyamorous

I meant it when I said I’m headcanoning a lot of bitches to be polyamorous for I crave representation.

I know a lot of people see him as a mlm gay, and before I get jumped for seeing him as bisexual, I’m also a mlm gay.

If anything, he’s more attracted to men because come on, we all seen how he looks at Leon in Vendetta, that’s not how you look at a friend-

Demisexual because vibes. I don’t see him sleeping with those he’s not particularly close with.

Polyamorous because I crave representation /hj

Jill Valentine

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine/Aroace/Polyamorous

Unlike Chris, she’s more attracted to women. She’s always thought she was a lesbian, but eventually, came to the terms she is attracted to men, just rarely does she ever do.

Trans as I view a lot of RE characters to be trans, and I’m not sorry.

Aroace and polyamorous as again, I crave representation + she doesn’t seem to be really interested in anyone throughout the series.

Barry Burton

Straight Ally

Unlike Billy, I’m not biased for him, I really don’t see him being attracted to men, just his lovely wife.

He is okay with any pronouns as well since he doesn’t really mind a they/them, she/her, xe/xem, it/its, etc. used on him, but he is cisgender.

We’ll get to Moira eventually, but I see her as trans, and Barry was very accepting of her.

Brad Vickers

Questioning/Asexual

He’s questioning as I’d like to think he’s unsure where he falls sexuality-wise. He’s well-aware that he’s not straight, but he doesn’t know fully what he is.

Asexual as I see him not being attracted to anyone like that.

Leon Kennedy

Bisexual/Trans-Masculine/Demisexual/Polyamorous

Bisexual in the way that if he hasn’t canonly flirted with women, I would’ve made him gay /hj

Trans because have you seen him? He sounds and looks like he’s just started taking testosterone in the RE2R.

Demisexual because I can see him wanting to get close before he does anything like that.

Polyamorous as I hc/joke about him having a lot of boyfriends (Luis, Carlos, Chris, Sasha, and Ethan).

Luis makes jokes that everyone else (except Carlos since they’re dating too) is a boyfriend-in-law to him /hj

Claire Redfield

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine (yes, I’m aware I put the wrong flag, shh, I didn’t realize until now)/Asexual/Greyromantic/Polyamorous

Bisexual as I can see her being with both men and women.

Trans as I find it funny to think that Chris is surrounded by trans people.

Asexual as she dislikes anything to do with sex.

Greyromantic as I see her rarely falling in love.

Polyamorous as once again, I crave representation.

[br1ghtestlight]

Bob burger gender and seuxality inspired by @koko-raccoon

bob - bisexual and cisgender-ish but also he's had this interaction with louise at least once

linda - she's a supportive cishet ally but she's had Lesbian experiences in her youth so who could say. she also dated gay men in high school to help them stay closeted so she's an unofficial member of the lgbtq community <3 she's like dolly parton yknow

gene - genderfluid and pansexual maybe?? or gay? I don't have a lot of thoughts on his sexuality tbh

tina - polyamorous and straight. definitely a Girl but her being transfem also makes sense in my head so she's either trans or cis either way she's very much a girl. maybe bisexual but like 10% attracted to girls and 90% boys. a pretty girl who was a customer at the restaurant smiled at her once and she thought about it for the next week

louise - agender and uhh.... lesbian? aroace?? one of those she isn't sure yet. she loves rudy no matter what though. maybe demiromantic asexual. Triple A louise (aromantic asexual agender she identifies with NOTHING)

gayle - she's a lesbian but she doesn't know that. she's cis but in an agender way <- does not follow up on this or explain myself at all

jimmy jr - aroace & cis

zeke - he's transmasc and straight

tammy - cis lesbian

jocelyn - also lesbian :) and transfem but she transitioned when she was pretty young i think. she was one of those four year olds who told their mom they were supposed to be born a girl and her family just kinda went with it and she was on hormone blockers by 5th grade ("Good for her")

rudy - straight but possibly transfem in which case he'd be a lesbian. not sure. definitely has egg vibes

darryl - he's cishet </3 but his lovely girlfriend is bisexual so he's that type of guy who would be at pride anyway (does not clarify who his girlfriend is. doesnt matter)

teddy - bisexual and asexual bcuz @koko-raccoon helped me see the vision. he does not know asexuality is a thing. could see him as transmasc too for sure. also polyamorous but in a casual way its not something he'd actively seek out but he wouldn't mind being in a relationship with multiple people either (same w/ bob and linda) he's got such a big heart

mort - he's never labelled himself but i think he wouldn't question it if he was in a relationship with a guy or found himself attracted to one. he's easy. maybe he'd just label himself as queer

mr frond - probably transfem and definitely bisexual. also asexual i think

mr ambrose - going to quote @koko-raccoon here bcuz they got it exactly accurate. don't need to reinvent the wheel. "no label. Uses queer to describe himself. Will go by any pronouns and will fuck anyone and it will be considered gay sex no matter who you are"

sasha - gay and came out at like age 7

duncan - also gay and nonbinary somehow. he/they energy

marshmallow - transfem lesbian

calvin - bisexual but is more into men than women. maybe like 30/70 attraction wise

felix - has questioned his gender identity on at least five seperate occasions but it never goes anywhere bcuz its too stressful for him and he's a little crazy. always feels like he's "queer" somehow but he knows he isn't attracted to men so he doesn't know what else it could be. dressed up in his mom's clothes and makeup ALL THE TIME as a kid. dont worry she'll get there eventually

gretchen - straight but transfem

jimmy pesto - horrible horrible Gay man who has to work through 500 layers of internalized homophobia. he's like a gay man trapped in the body and mind of a 1950s husband

andy - aroace

ollie - demiromantic straight and asexual

harley - pansexual and she gets a little nonbinary w/ it. collects microlabels like stickers when she's older

henry haber - cishet but also supports his awesome pansexual girlfriend (susmita) him and darryl should form a club

susmita - pansexual as previously mentioned

[polyamorouspunk]

sleepover friday thing and im sorry if i've already sent you an ask about this, i have the worst memory in the world at the best of times. with that out of the way... how do i cope with my orientation doing a 180? my whole life, starting from when i was about 10, ive identified as a lesbian. i exclusively dated girls (or people who identified as girls at the time anyway) and non-binary people. i was only attracted to girls and non-binary people. when i thought about being married in the future, it was always to a woman or non-binary person.

then i met my soulmate and he was a man. i dont use the term lightly either -- im talking about love at first meeting, spending time together as often as possible, sharing secrets, the whole thing. i plan on getting a tattoo dedicated to him. i still called myself a lesbian, just with one exception, because he was the only man i ever loved. and then he went dormant and hasnt come back (hence the tattoo).

then i started noticing i sometimes got crushes on men but not very often. now it's a couple years later and it struck me the other day that i don't think i'm sexually attracted to women anymore. just men and non-binary people. and it really threw me for a loop. ive been a lesbian my whole life but now im not? i'm almost exclusively (sexually) xlm now. which is certainly hard to deal with since i'm dating someone who is woman-aligned.

this is really long im so sorry i didnt mean to ramble so much akskfkf but do you have any words of advice for someone whose identity flipped on its head and feels lost now

I doubt that I’m going to say anything revolutionary here, so I’m just going to talk.

Things change for everyone. Different things change for different people. I don’t want to discount the experiences of certain people like men who are attracted to cis women exclusively, women who are attracted to cis men specifically, men who are only attracted to men, women who only attracted to women, etc. When I say stuff like “sexuality is fluid” it’s in the same way you say “gender is fluid” knowing that for some people it 100% isn’t, but it CAN be.

Some people have a very hard time accepting that sexuality can be fluid. It’s been pointed out before that some people are all for playing around with your gender and calling yourself a woman as a cis man in drag or calling yourself a liquid because your gender is so fluid or going “none of the above” in those gender questions or any amount of things like that. But as soon as someone implies that sometimes you can be a lesbian and sometimes you can be a gay man and those things can coincide or change certain people get really up in arms.

Complicated sexualities and gender have been around longer than any of us, and certainly around longer than tumblr and the internet. Perhaps my own favorite example is talking about how bisexuals and lesbians used to fall under the same or at least a more similar label in Stone Butch Blues. Before the phenomenon of lesbian separatists.

Bisexual lesbians and pansexual gays and all those kinds of things, while perhaps POPULARIZED by social media, existed long before that. Why is the idea that trans people existed before tumblr not a novel idea but the fact that perhaps wlw were all lumped under the phrase “lesbian” because there were women with more complicated sexualities like might fit under the label “bi lesbian” today wild and unacceptable to some people?

The idea that you can call yourself a lesbian exclusively but have some exceptions or call yourself gay exclusively but have an exception or hell even call yourself straight but have an exception is not a new thing. I, personally, love straight cisgender male content creators who say shit like “I’m not gay but I would make out with that man”. Cracks me the fuck up. I want more of that shit. But suddenly if a lesbian says “I’m not straight but I would make out with that man” it’s like woah woah woah are you sure you’re REALLY a lesbian?

Plenty of people who are straight/gay/lesbian fully accept that you can ID as one of those things and still use that label if you have on exception or even a few. Some do not, and will say if your thoughts even stray from your assigned sex of attraction then you are not allowed to use that label.

There will people who will say you can’t call yourself a lesbian if you’ve had sex with a man before even if you didn’t enjoy it. Gold star lesbian mentality.

The idea of sexuality being fluid is sadly a controversial one, as is every facet of being “in the community”. But for many people it is.

I see it a lot like coming to terms that you are not in fact cisgender. You go your whole life believing, truly believing, that you are a cis girl perhaps, until suddenly one day you realize you are NOT. Maybe there weren’t “signs” that you were trans along the way. Maybe one day it just hit you like a ton of bricks. What do you do? How do you cope?

Well. How do you cope with any other thing that hits you like a ton of bricks? How do you cope with someone you thought loved you deciding to dump you and never speak to you again in a day? How do you cope with being fired from a job you felt so secure in and planned on being in for at least another decade? How do you cope with the unexpected death of a loved one?

Over time. You try not to stress it. You try and move through your days by keeping it in the back of your mind until time has dulled that immediate pain enough for you to reconsider. The pain isn’t going to go away. But it can become manageable. You cannot deal with things if you are screaming and crying and hyperventilating and throwing things. You need to wait until you’re not doing any of those things in order to deal with the issue at hand, for a vivid and extreme example.

What does it mean to you to be xlm? I call myself a bi lesbian. On this blog I call myself trans masc and mlm. On my main I’m a [girl] and a bi lesbian. To me that means I, Savanna, personally will have sex with people who have a vagina, as someone who also has a vagina. Be they trans men, trans women, cis women, nonbinary/other. I do not like the idea of having sex with an actual flesh and blood and cummy dick, HOWEVER I’m open enough to say “I haven’t really been in a position in my life right now where someone has wanted to jam their dick inside of me, so I haven’t really had to worry about that. If it comes to that point, I can’t say for sure that I’m going to be like ‘ew no a dick’ even though I do not like dicks. Depending on the person and the situation I might be willing to make an exception.” And hey. There are people I might be with who have a vagina that I might just be like hey you know what? I don’t want to have sex. For whatever reason.

Your partner is woman-aligned, so I’m sure in your mind that’s not something you’re aesthetically attracted to right now. But sexually might you be? Do you think you’re having another exception to your sexuality like you did before?

Try your best not to worry about it and try to come to any conclusions until you’ve given it some time. I’m not sure how long it’s been since you came to this realization, maybe it’s been a few days, maybe it’s been a few weeks. But take the time you need to not make an emotional response to it in regards to your current relationship. Do what you’re doing and talk to other people about it. When you’re ready, you should talk to your partner about it. Perhaps there’s accommodations and arrangements that can be made. I’ve said before even though I’m transmasc here like if a cishet guy wanted to date me only as his gf I would be willing to compromise on my gender expression for that most likely. My gender isn’t a huge deal to me. Things like that.

Take it slow and take your time. Don’t make any rash decisions. Talk it out. Don’t worry about feeling like you “made a mistake” or are “living a lie”. We wouldn’t tell someone who came out as trans things like that, so much as gender changes and/or is fluid so is sexuality.

[grimgrinningghost456]

Bram Stoker’s Dracula: Queer Headcannons

“Summoned forth” by @minas-diary and @0nelittlebirdtoldme Prompted by @re-dracula

Ok. I think I hit on this recently but it doesn’t hurt to repeat and add some detail.

Dracula: Dracula for me, is usually Bisexual. Like Birdie’s Vlad, Gender doesn’t REALLY matter at this point in his un-life. Anything gets the job done. However, he is very very gay for Johnny. Technically Poly. Depends on the scenario

Johnathan Harker: I bounce between Johnny being a trans man and cisgender. 60-40% bounce. Usually my Johnny is a Closeted Homosexual, and he and Mina are queer-platonic life partners. Occasionally I depict him as a bisexual who prefers men. My Johnny and Mina are both platonic kissers when it comes to close friends though, so it’s easier to fool society and sell the engagement. They do love each other a lot though. Johnny is sometimes open to poly but it depends on who the relationship is with. (Usually works with Mina and Lucy)

Mina: Mina is a Poly-bisexual who usually prefers women. Usually Mina is Dating/spending time with her Girlfriend Lucy, with permission from Johnny when he’s not home.

Lucy: Lucy is Bisexual and Poly. She doesn’t have a preference between men and women, but she definitely has a big crush on Mina

Quincey: Usually depicted as an Ally who’s open to poly and trying other genders.

John: closeted bisexual, who leans towards men emotionally, but forces himself to go for women. That’s not to say he isn’t infatuated with Lucy though. He is. (Open to poly after coming out)

Arthur: Bisexual and open to poly.

RM Renfeild: So gay im surprised his blood isn’t just rainbows

Brides of Dracula: (used to be straight) lesbian/gay out of necessity/comfort/trauma and poly. They bonded over the years of abuse from the count and eventually fell hard for each other.

I’m pretty sure that’s all thoughts I have

@argyleheir , thoughts?

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Through the years, the term ‘bisexuality’ has undergone a series of redefinitions, and for many bisexuals it holds a deeply personal meaning that has taken years for them to work out. Terms like pansexual and omni-sexual are often included under the umbrella of bisexuality and certainly carry similar aspects. Bisexuality doesn’t have to be limited to being attracted to both men and women, bi advocate and author Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as “the potential to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender,” and includes those who fall on different parts of the gender spectrum.

New terms like bisexuality+ and bi+ have popped up to include the attraction of sexual identities beyond the L and G, including those who are gender queer, fluid, or trans, as well as cisgendered male and females. Bisexuality, simply, is a much more open term for anyone who isn’t attracted to just one gender.

It is a common myth that bisexuals are the least stigmatised of the LGBT+ community. That to be bisexual you can simply date a straight person to camouflage into the heteronormative landscape and thereby escape a lot of the problems associated with being LGBT+. According to GLAAD, bisexuals have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders compared to gays, lesbians and heterosexuals. The Office for National Statistics has found that bisexual woman are twice as likely as their straight counterparts to experience domestic abuse from a partner. While bisexual men are disproportionally affected by HIV and STIs, according to a study from the American Journal of Preventative Medicine – many have blamed biphobia and the stigma against bisexual men, as many bisexual men are too ashamed to seek out proper healthcare.

Further studies have found that 37.3 percent of bisexual adults have reported experiencing depression, compared to 17.2 percent of heterosexual adults. While according to the Pew Research Center, Only 28% of bi or pan people ever feel safe enough to come out to their friends and family. Human Rights Campaign have found that bisexual people face "minority stress," and are more likely to engage in self-harming behaviours and attempted suicide than gay, lesbian, or heterosexual adults. This correlates with a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health, which has found that bisexual and questioning females are at a higher risk of depression or suicide than any other sexual denomination.

“Identifying as bisexual often feels like you're stuck in limbo — not “gay” enough for some, and not “straight” enough for others.”

Many have argued these problems are exasperated because bisexuality is often ignored by the media, academics, and society at large. This is the crux of ‘bi-erasure’, which is defined by GLAAD as “a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright.”

“Identifying as bisexual often feels like you're stuck in limbo — not “gay” enough for some, and not “straight” enough for others,” writes Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro for Bustle. “While bi people make up 52 percent of the LGBTQ community, they are sometimes excluded from the narrative at Pride festivals and LGBTQ celebrations because of biphobia and bi erasure. Bi erasure is a serious problem that isn't just promoted by straight people, but on occasion, by the non-bi queer community as well.”

“Bisexuals cop biphobia from all sides, from our own community and from straights."

Elizabeth Sutherland writes for SBS about her struggles with occupying both straight and queer spaces and feeling ostracized by both. “There is a privilege in passing as straight, but there is a cost, too. The knowledge that you’re only being treated well, or equally, because part of your self is concealed is a difficult burden to carry… Bisexuals are seen as predatory, promiscuous, untrustworthy, adulterous and confused. We’re vilified as fence-sitters, or just plain greedy. In my line of work I’m in contact with young people all day. It’s easier to reassure colleagues and parents that I’m respectable when I’m seen as a lesbian in a steady relationship. But if I try to describe myself as bisexual—well, for starters, it sounds more sexual.”

Rebecca Dominguez, president of Bisexual Alliance Victoria, explains that “bisexuals cop biphobia from all sides, from our own community and from straights... the reason it’s easier to identify as lesbian than bisexual is that lesbians don't get any homophobia from within the LGBTI communities.”

Unfortunately, the bisexual community oftentimes isn’t united enough to combat these struggles as effectively as the gay and lesbian communities have. Lewis, 26, explains to the Huffington Post: “bisexuals are often invisible from each other. The UK has no mainstream bisexual magazines for us to discuss our issues in. We have no apps to connect us. We have no venues to meet others like us and make friends. I’m one of the most profiled bisexual men in the country yet sadly I’ve never been in a room with even 10 other bisexual men my age. It’s a lonely sexuality, I have no one to talk to that understands some of the unique bi issues I face.

“Another thing that isn’t talked about is the attacks on our straight partners. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, in that time I’d say she has received more abuse than me. People don’t think twice about telling her that I’m going to cheat on her, that she’ll never be enough for me, that’s she’s going to catch HIV. These people have never met me yet they feel it’s fine to cast doubt in my girlfriend’s mind. They’d be perfectly happy for my girlfriend to dump me because of my sexuality and what’s worse is they’d feel the world was back in balance.”

Rob, 41, puts it succinctly enough for the Huffington Post: “Bi-erasure may seem like a small problem but it is thought that bi-invisibility is one of the reasons that, according to several reports, bisexuals have higher rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide than straight, gay and lesbian people.”

The problems bisexuals face are too dangerous to continue being ignored by the LGBT+ community. If you dismiss a bisexual person as simply going through a phase, not being truthful, after attention, or just being promiscuous then you are part of the problem. Bisexuals make up most of our community and their plight is the same as ours. Standing together and acknowledging the disproportionate mental health issues and discrimination they face, as well as the biphobia within our own community will only strengthen us. Besides, with more young people identifying as queer than ever before, bi-erasure might rapidly become a thing of the past.

[pluralsword]

This is a complicated topic for which there is not a single simple answer. We will instead give a nuanced one:

-there is a reason for the rise of the modern distinguishment between sapphic and lesbian, wherein sapphics mostly prefer gals and gal adjacent folks and will date e.g. nonbinary people and only sometimes date men, whereas lesbians won't date people who are solely men.

-what do nonbinary people who only want to date women and off the binary people call themselves, if not lesbians?

-polygender and/or genderfluid people who experience multiple genders including being a gal and a guy at the same or different times are still gals, yknow. there's nothing wrong with them calling themselves lesbians.

-there is an often noted experience of heterosexual people dating someone and then they realize they're trans and their gender is different, so the het folks if still attracted and understanding themselves as otherwise het say 'my orientation is to [insert gender] and attraction to you.' speaking from experience, real life long term relationships between gender expansive people are complicated. the partner we dated the longest would sometimes ask us during the first year if we would dump them if they realized themselves as a trans man. we told them of course we wouldn't. is there anything wrong with a lesbian dating someone who figured out they're only a man later in the relationship? no.

-some trans men are not comfortable with the idea of being heterosexual, and frankly by their own accord are not. this isn't just talking about nonbinary trans men. This is also talking about lesbian as a gender or part of one. Orientation and gender or lacks thereof inform each other. This website by a transmasc person has a really good explanation of this, it's beautiful

-for some context, we are collectively a trans gal/xenogender-parallel (this is an oversimplication) plural system. Our eldest headmate is a t4t sapphic and thus is extremely unlikely to ever date a man who isn't transmasc or an equivalent or polygender and also comfortable being dated by a lesbian (ie cis men are off the table) and even if she wasn't t4t that would be the case... because well, a lot of our system is composed of sapphics and lesbians, and um, for some of us, the contexts we are used to are worlds and memories where the cisgender category or something like didn't exist in our societies, because gender/aesthetic neutral and aesthetically informed socialization was a big part of growing up for everyone (and thats not even getting into semi-deliberate body formation stuff in the first few weeks of life). sure not everyone's trans in those contexts but nobody is cis. the term we coined for the sake of our fanfic writing to get that across is launch while we work on original fiction. for the record we dont use human gender/aesthetic system models in any of our writing for aliens, they (including alien robots) either have elaborate alien gender systems in our more hard scifi orig cont and original fiction stuff have alien aesthetic systems with their own terms and pronoun variation if the latter exists which we personally enjoy (we do use a gender assemblage and trans theory lens to approach expressing these)- and as such all of these folks have words for same-aesthetic/same-gender attraction but they are not gay or lesbian etc. they have their own terms with their own histories and meanings. so a lot of us dont even fit the -straight -bisexual -lesbian -gay -pansexual discussion just as we don't fit a gender discussion but most certainly do have equivalents of genders that we've named and iterated and adore (hilariously we do fit the gray scale ace-aro stuff pretty well there's just a lot of add-ons) because ultimately in human terms a signifcant number of us are t4t and while as a system we can agree to the idea of dating a cis gal we have yet to do that. everyone we've dated out of system has been gender expansive, trans or no, or at the very least spent a significant portion of the relationship understanding themselves as not cis

-we find the tendency of cis guys to joking about and saying they want to date lesbians at best as something that makes us want to ask them 'so are you really just a cis guy' or 'do you know what sapphic means within the last 20 years' but often is rather alarming and gross -

-but for the cases that are not some misogyny power dynamic thing, where its from people not familiar with terminology who then are willing to learn and recognize that lesbians are not in their dating pool, we've noticed that it in part has to do with the perception of lesbians as a kind of gender variation of women that to them is beautiful. its the same sort of awe one can have for someone in drag / a drag king, queen, monarch, etc. and attraction even if one isn't going to date one.

-on that thought of lesbianism as a gender-orientation thing, we think sword lesbians and lumberjack lesbians are a great example of where the aesthetic experience of material and technique modification of self expressed through actions and words and frankly euphoria therein has a clear linkage between orientation and gender. the same goes for butch lesbians yknow, and we think that's fair to say of femmes and the whole lesbian-sapphic spectrum too! it's part of our history!

this is just what we have to say on it as people who have spent much of our life together learning about gender and orientation and power dynamics including in the context of history, war, politics, diplomacy, art, and philosophy in order to be epistemically free of the patriarchy and keep it from bringing us down, and to figure ourselves out and maybe share what we can with people along the way.

“we need more weird queers” you guys can barely handle nonbinary lesbians

[fuckboy-orochimaru]

My Shitty LGBTQ Naruto Headcanons

Orochimaru: He's agender with a slight preference for a masculine androgynous presentation. Either bi or pansexual with a slight preference for men but many people assume he's completely disinterested in sex in general because science was and always will be his first priority and he is fiercely independent.

Kabuto: Binary extremely gay trans guy. He's known he was trans since he was pretty young but had resigned himself to living as a girl because he didn't know what could be done about it. Let's just say that meeting Orochimaru introduced him to forms of medical ninjutsu he never thought possible.

Sasuke: Demi-bisexual cis boy. Once again people make the assumption that Sasuke is simply aromantic when in reality he just has so much shit to deal with that he didn't have time for anything romantic until adulthood. He has an equal preference for men or women but the only people he has ever been interested in are Sakura and Naruto.

Jiraiya: Pansexual cis man in denial but he acts extremely straight and overhypes his actually mild preference for women to hide it. And before anyone asks...yes he and Orochimaru "accidentally" kissed. Both acted disgusted but Jiraiya was actually high key into it.

Tsunade: pansexual binary trans girl with a pretty strong preference for women or nonbinary types. Only likes very pretty, clean-cut men like Dan. Sorry Jiraiya! Also she thought Orochimaru was attractive before but after he came out and modified his body to his liking? She was like damn is he pretty!

Sakura: Demi-bisexual cis girl who actually usually goes for girls. She's only ever been romantically interested in Sasuke, Ino, and Karin.

Naruto: Pretty fly for a bi guy! He likes guys and girls alike but pretends to be not all that into men. But he has a specific type of guy he likes - tall, dark and handsome sorts like Sai or Sasuke.

Sai: He is a twinkish cisgender gay man. He and Ino have a platonic marriage going on.

Ino: very femme bi trans girl who goes for girls 90% of the time.

Karin: she is a hard femme lesbian who developed an attachment to Sasuke because he saved her life but mistook her feelings of admiration for him as a crush. Sakura was her first real crush.

Tayuya: she is a butch lesbian trans girl and Kin Tsuchi is her girlfriend. What do you mean they've never interacted?

Haku: feminine nonbinary trans boy. Likes to look pretty androgynous. He's very secure in himself so he just kind of laughs it off if he's clocked as a girl. He is gay.

Shino: aromantic asexual cis boy. Who cares about dating? Bugs are cooler anyways.

[thoughtsbynyx]

BNHA Pronoun, Gender and Sexuality HCs

(class 1-a this round, I haven’t watched the new season but class 1-b coming soon.... but pro-heroes, mei hatsume and Hitoshi shinso coming next)

Part 2

Yuuga Aoyama

He/him & Neopronouns (Twinkle/ Twinkleself, Sparkle/Sparkleself)

Genderfluid

Gay

Mina Ashido

She/her

Cisgender

Hey Mamas Lesbian

Tsuyu Asui

They/She & Frog/Frogself

Trans MtF (later came out as Nonbinary)

Cottage Core Lesbian (& dating Uraraka)

Tenya Iida

He/him

Cisgender

Aromantic Homosexual (literally everyone thought he was straight until the training camp)

Ochako Uraraka

She/her

Demigirl

Lesbian (& dating Tsuyu)

Mashirao Ojiro

He/him

Genderqueer

Androsexual (but ppl think he’s straight and cis and it annoys him)

Denki Kaminari

They/he

Bigender

Bisexual with a preference for men (ppl thought he and Kyoka were dating for months.... he’s talking with Shinso)

Eijiro Kirishima

He/him

Demiboy

Gay (& dating Bakugo....himbo)

Koji Koda

They/He (prefers they/them usually)

Agender

Aromantic Asexual

Rikido Sato

He/him

Masc Non-binary

Omnisexual

Mezo Shoji

He/Him

Agender

Asexual Aromantic (but in several queerplatonic relationships)

Kyoka Jiro

They/she

Soft Butch (usually tells ppl their a masculine girl)

Bisexual with a preference for women (& dating Momo)

Hanta Sero

They/them

Nonbinary

Omnisexual (everyone in the bakusquad jokes he’s their ‘token straight’ and they laughs along (after making sure they aren’t serious)

Fumikage Tokoyami

He/they

Androgyne

Queer (doesn’t know what his sexuality is....knows he likes women, but also knows he’s not straight)

Shoto Todoroki

He/They

Nonbinary

Demiromantic Homosexual (& dating Izuku)

Toru Hagakure

She/Her

Cisgender

Token Straight

Katsuki Bakugo

He/him

Cisgender

Gay Butch (& dating Kirishima)

Izuku Midoriya

He/they/she

Trans FtM (later came out as Bigender)

Femme Biromantic Asexual with a preference for men (& dating Todoroki)

Momo Yaoyorozu

She/her

High Femme

Femme Lesbian (usually prefers to use the phrase WLW (woman loving women))

M*noru m*neta

he/him (‘asked what are the guy pronouns’)

cisgender (when asked he said ‘im a guy’)

str*ight (‘came out’ to the class as bisexual as a ‘joke’..... the Denki, Kyoka, & Izuku were very enraged and had to be held down by half to class to avoid a murder)

[textk4kira]

Cisgender, straight aces have cisheteronormative identities. And can get affirmations for their ace identities from the ace community.

They can get support for conversion therapy (what is ace conversion therapy? Anti-gay conversion therapy is targeted at making gay people associate gay attraction with trauma and pain? what do you think anti-ace conversion therapy is?) from aces. What resources do //LGBT// groups have for htis?

What LGBT resources do they need for religious trauma they cannot get from the ace community? From other religious trauma groups? Do religious trauma groups exclude cisgender, straight ace?

What specific LGBT resources for csigender, straight men who do not want to date need? Be SPECIFIC. What resources do they need from groupsmade to give rights to Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisxuals, and Trans People? You haven't listed a single LGBT specific resource uet

Being raped for not experiencing sexual attraction is a feminist issue, not an LGBT one. What LGBT specific resource do they need that they cannot get from feminist groups?

Every point you listed actually happens to cisgender, straight women. Should all LGBT groups acomodate all cishet women?

Hello again anon!

I will address each of the points you have made, with some additional information at the end of this post.

I would also like to point out that ace/arophobia tends to go hand in hand with anti-trans/TERF discourse, so I would like anyone reading to please keep that in mind.

Now to address the points you made:

Asexual/Aromantic people do not have cisheteronormative identities as they do not conform to society's expectations on how people are 'supposed' to behave regarding sexual or romantic relationships. These expectations include but are not limited to: Being in a monogamous, heterosexual/heteroromantic relationship with a fellow cisgender person. This argument is also used against bisexual people who are 'straight-passing' individuals.

Asexual people receive medical interventions including conversion therapy to make them heterosexual. Please look up 'hyposexual sexual desire disorder' as an example of anti-asexual medical maltreatment. Coercing an asexual person into having sex to 'cure' their asexuality is a form of corrective rape AND conversion therapy. The asexual community is a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and this has been the case forever. If an asexual person is seeking comfort or resources from other queers, such as myself, I will do what I can to help them.

I do not know if religious trauma groups explicitly exclude asexual individuals, so I cannot answer this. Pushing asexuals to only interact with other asexuals in regards to their problems, is actually a form of marginalization, which is in fact a form of oppression.

The love and support of the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as community-wide solidarity, is, in fact, a 'resource'. The time that I am spending to respond to your ask, as opposed to uplifting aromantic men is in fact, the 'use of a resource'. Yes, emotional labor is a finite resource that I am currently using to address you.

I will not address this point, for obvious reasons.

To conclude, here is a list of resources specifically for asexual/aromantic individuals (note, this is just a short list, I will try to find more in the future):

AUREA - Resources (aromanticism.org)

Aro 101 and Resources – Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (arospecweek.org)

Understanding Asexuality | The Trevor Project

About AVEN | The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Understanding the Asexual Community - Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)

Navigating LGBTQ Identities and Religion | The Trevor Project

Culturally Competent Psychotherapy for the Asexual Community | Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy (societyforpsychotherapy.org)

I would also like to mention that I do not interact with radfems, TERFs, or Gender Critical Feminists as stated in my pinned post, if this describes you anon, or any other readers, please move along. I will not address you.

I hope this was helpful!

[kelvintimeline]

Wait so are you acephobic?

Have to copy/paste myself:

Ace individuals are fine. There’s nothing of moral value negatively or positively in not experiencing sexual attraction. It is a frankly irrelevant piece of information, the same way I don’t care about how people experience any of other facet of their sex life or lack thereof. I do not judge people on how they feel about sex unless it deals with rape.

But I have major issue with anyone who claims that cisgender straight people who don’t feel sexual attraction have a spare orientation that magically makes them LGBT despite oppressing Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexuals, and Trans and Nonbinary people. I have major issues with ace rhetoric sexualizing LGBT identities via the SAM. I have major issues with ace rhetoric that you can healthily fuck people you aren’t sexually attracted to and date people you aren’t romantically attracted to, seeing as that is rhetoric taken directly from conversion therapy where LGBT people are told to forego their feelings and marry into a straight relationship and remain closeted.

I have issues with the idea that 10-18 year olds are being told that they are oppressed for being disinterested in sex or romance and that if you haven’t finished puberty yet, you’re LGBT and are Different From Your Peers which is fearmongering and just… fucking offensive.

I object to ace rhetoric that sexual orientation is just about your relationship to sexual intercourse when sexual orientation/ the suffix sexual is about sex as in gender, thus saying WHO you are attracted to and nothing more about said attraction.

I have issues with the ace history of using holocaust imagery in their flags and symbols on AVEN. Of using stripes in their flags so people associate them with LGBT people “but not too much" because a lot of cishet aces actually DIDN'T want to be associated with "those people."

I take issue with aces comparing cishet exclusion to TERFs excluding trans women from women’s spaces. When one is LGBT people protecting themselves from their oppressors and the other is cis people treating those they oppress like fucking shit and leading to actual real life violence and suffering as well as legislation that could fucking kill people.

I take issue with ace inclusion going hand in hand with the corporate take over and pride and the liberalism in mainstream LGBT activism.

I’m tired of ace inclusion rhetoric being identical to kink, polyamous, intersex, and pedophile inclusion rhetoric.

I’m tired of people thinking it’s okay o tell strangers and minors their relationship to sex.

I'm tired of those same people thinking that when I use the word bisexual instead of biromantic I am also telling people who I want to fuck when bisexual isn’t about sex. Bisexual aces, minors, and sex repulsed people exist.

I'm tired of people like you dogging me because you so desperately just want me to say "aces are valid!"

When… validity means nothing. Just like the word asexual. Asexual can mean doesn’t experience sexual attraction (except if you’re grey, demi, cupio, lithro... then yeah you can) but does experience romantic attraction, doesn’t experience ANY attraction (unless you’re grey, demi, etc), or just doesn’t want sex. I’m tired of people whose words mean nothing going into the LGBT community and trying to make OUR words mean nothing through shit like the split attraction model or claiming cishets can reclaim queer. All to promote the idea of microidentities that supposedly make you more “queer” the more terms you collect, even though a solid 20% of them just mean shit like “so addicted to porn you can’t get off to real people anymore.”

So, yeah, if you don’t feel sexual attraction, I have no fucking issue with you. But if you support ace rhetoric and the ace community’s destruction of language around sexuality and LGBT identities, then, that’s what I have an issue with.

Not aceness. But ace “activism” which isn’t about destroying rape culture or promoting enthusiastic consent in sex (which I would support) but rather about bullying LGBT people for not including every fucking scatter brained hot take the cishets at the helm of your community can come up with in between watching episodes of Camp Camp and Steven Universe.

That enough for you? Have I made it clear?

LGBT aces are LGBT. Not experiencing sexual attraction and not desiring sex are completely valid, morally neutral things. There is nothing wrong or broken in not desiring sex or romance.

On that front, I am not "acephobic."

But if you're gonna cry "acephobia" when an LGBT person excludes their oppressors who become NO LESS OPPRESSIVE just because they MIGHT not want to fuck their romantic partners... than sure, yes I am.

If it is aphobia to criticize ace terminology instead of taking it on the chin and letting it hurt LGBT people, then... sure, buddy.

If it feeds your victim complex to read this, I Hope you feel full and content. Enjoy being fed.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

So I (A white cisgender heterosexual woman who likes pumpkin spice lattes and Animal Crossing, so yeah) grew up in a very, VERY LGBTQ+-phobic household, and that translated into me having basically no knowledge on the LGBTQ+ community. Could you do me a massive favor and just lay out straight the words and phrases and generally help a dumbass out?

Oooh, no problem! And believe me, you aren’t a dumbass. I knew next to nothing for a while, and I grew up in a very supportive household. I just didn’t have the means to learn about it.

Here’s a phrasebook for some common phrases you might hear:

TERF: Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist; they believe that trans women should not be included in their fight for gender equality, and that because trans woman “used to be men” they shouldn’t be allowed in women safe spaces because they might rape someone. Sooo yeah. Keep away from them. They are pretty nasty and misguided. Also known as radfems.

Pansexual: Attracted sexually to anyone of any gender identity.

Panromantic: Attracted romantically to anyone of any gender identity

Bisexual: Attracted sexually to two or more genders.

Biromantic: Attracted romantically to two or more genders

Pan/Bi Discourse: Some people think pansexual and bisexual should become one or the other because they’re very similar to each other, but whether you identify as either of them is a personal choice, and you shouldn’t let anyone dictate your identity - ever. You can even be both at the same time, if you choose to identify that way! Honestly, it isn’t that big of a deal which one you choose, as long as you feel comfortable between them!

Demisexual/Demiromantic: Needs to form a strong emotional bond with someone before pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship. They probably wouldn’t enjoy speed-dating or sleeping with someone they just met. They might not experience sexual attraction for someone unless they knew the person very well.

Asexual: Does not feel sexual attraction for anyone; however, they still might like to have sex, may be neutral about sex, or might even be repulsed by it. Most people confuse this with chastity (not choosing to have sex, usually for religious reasons) or abstinence (choosing not to have sex until married). However, they still might get horny, or want to pleasure themselves. The usual difference is having it with another person. If they see a hot guy, for example, the immediate thought may be, “Wow they’re attractive,” rather than, “Have my babies.”

Aromantic: Does not feel romantic attraction for anyone; this may mean that usual romantic relationships don’t appeal to the person, or that shows of romance (flowers, dates, etc.) doesn’t appeal to them. However, they can still have very strong platonic relationships, and still do enjoy sex, but might not develop crushes or want to go on a date with someone. They might marry platonically, or marry romantically on certain terms.

Grey/Graysexual: Anyone who is in that “gray” space between being asexual and being sexual. They might like the idea of sex, but hate the product. They might have fantasies they’d like to live out in the bedroom, but not actual sex. They might like sex, but under certain conditions. People have their own names for the different facets of graysexuality, but are all under this umbrella.

Grey/Grayromantic: Anyone in that “gray” space between romantic and aromantic. They might like huge shows of romance in novels, but wouldn’t be a fan of it happening to them. They might have a crush on a person, but would never be in a relationship with them, even if asked. Graysexuality also has different names for different facets, but it’s still all under this umbrella.

Queer: Usually used as a temporary or even permanent label for when someone is still trying to figure things out. They know that there is something inside of them that’s different - but they’re not quite sure yet.

Non-binary: People who are neither male nor female, and are outside the gender spectrum. A few have androgynous (gender-neutral) styles or body types, but no matter what they wear or what they look like, they are still non-binary!

Trans: Someone who was born gender, but knows in their heart that they are another. Someone may be born a boy, but always feel like a girl, vice versa, or both genders may change to non-binary, bigender, genderqueer, or genderfluid. Being trans simply means you are making the physical and/or mental transition from one gender or another.

Transmasc: A trans person that presents as masculine, with both clothes and manner.

Transfemme: A trans person that presents as feminine, with both clothes and gender.

Bigender: Someone who identifies as male sometimes and female sometimes.

Genderfluid: Someone who drifts from one end of the binary spectrum (male on one side, female on the other) and may have several sets of pronouns. They may feel more feminine one day, more masculine another, and somewhere in between later that week.

AMAB: Assigned Male At Birth; this has no bearing on current gender identity, but it’s medically useful and can help trans people talk about themselves before they transition.

AFAB: Assigned Female At Birth; this has no bearing on current gender identity, but it’s medically useful and can help trans people talk about themselves before they transition.

Two-Spirit: A Native American who identifies as the traditional third gender, with both a masculine and a feminine spirit inside of them. It’s a pretty new term, and not all Indigenous people choose to label themselves or others that way.

Femme: A woman who dresses and acts in a traditionally feminine way.

Butch: A woman who dresses and acts in a traditionally masculine way.

Beard: Describes a partner in a relationship that exists for the purpose of keeping someone’s true sexual attraction status a secret. A gay man might have a relationship with a woman, who would be considered his beard.

Queerplatonic Relationship: A relationship that is a mixture of the traditional platonic relationship and the traditional romantic relationship. People included in this relationship can raise children and own a house together, but most likely won’t participate in sexual and/or romantic activities.

Polyamorous Relationship: A relationship that includes three or more people at any given time. This may look like a couple having an open relationship, where they can date others as they please, or it may be a set few people that stay together. Two people can be attracted to one other person, three people can all be attracted to each other, two couples can have sexual or romantic relations with each other’s partner - there are infinite combinations, and, as long as it’s healthy, they’re all valid!

I hope this helps! This is not an exhaustive list, but these are pretty much the basics and a little bit more. If you have any specific term you’d like me to define, I’d be more than happy to! Also, if I got any wrong, please feel free to correct me, and I’ll edit the post as soon as I can!

Also, who’s your favorite Animal Crossing character? I like Blathers a lot! Nerds and professors have my entire heart.