#but also. perhaps. they did fuck
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listen if you think about it for more than five minutes the relationship between oliver putnam and teddy dimas on omitb is like, deeply weird and also very compelling
#and im not even talking about it in a they fucked kind of way#but also. perhaps. they did fuck#like s1 kinda set it up to be oh he's their weird deli owner neighbor who funds oliver's shitty broadway stuff#and then s2 is like no they've been friends for like five decades actually! PRE-MOVING INTO THE BUILDING!#also they don't seem to really like each other very much!
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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can you even imagine what a fucking horror show the early game is from spite's perspective, though. not only is this funky forcibly severed little slip of the fade having to deal with the reverse cosmic horror of physical reality as perceived by a spirit and being trapped in it against its will -- existentially confused and disoriented and hurting and nothing makes any kind of sense, at the mercy of human cruelty at its most deliberately sadistic. and then the one source of comfort and compassion and some kind of safety and clarity that lucanis surely must have been to him in the ossuary despite everything just goes and shuts himself in his room inside with a seemingly passive aggressive number of locks between them and no explanation and won't speak to him and they're STILL in the fucking ossuary. rook came and found them and they could be free now (rook is here!) and still lucanis keeps them in the ossuary even though he PROMISED he promised they'd get out of there together!!! what the fuck DO you think at that point? like did he trick me that whole time??? he wasn't like zara before, so why is he doing this to me now? why isn't he saying anything? 'he won't move. I can't reach him'. at least in the ossuary they had a deal, a goal, a hope -- each other. at least he wasn't entirely alone, before.
this poor poor poor little spite spirit really was ferried into the real world like 'hey welcome to reality! as your first introduction to it you're first getting horrifically tortured and then getting to vicariously experience one of THE most distressing and harrowing psychological conditions the human brain can cook up for itself (a fully fledged and deeply entrenched freeze response flaring up with catastrophic severity due to an unbroken ongoing and unlikely to let up any time soon chain of Unfortunately... Recent Events). I think spite is being extremely reasonable and patient about the whole thing, when you put it into perspective. I'm not saying let him eat the self-lighting candles or anything, but he's got some extremely valid points along the way lol. spite is not only child-like, the metaphor work going on is a lot more pleasingly flexible and complex than that, but he is also helplessly existentially dependent on lucanis in a way that, if anything, is a heightened version of the way a child (or child part) has to depend on a parent to navigate the world and survive.
tl;dr: we truly don't give enough sympathy to spite for having to live in the head of lucanis dellamorte. a place even lucanis dellamorte would prefer not to be. to be fair to him I think lucanis would be the first person to agree with this lol
#it's a lot like it would be if a spirit possessed me I suspect. like sorry you're in here too now I've tried to get out myself but no luck#possessor's remorse#spite very much did not have a choice in all of that he's just working with the hand he's been dealt here lol#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#spite#lucanis dellamorte#spite is such a little gremlin but looking at what's going on from his pov for even like a split second is so heartbreaking haha#one of my favourite parts of their relationship is that there clearly is affection of some sort on both sides even at the beginning#beneath the resentment and confusion and fear and mutual frustrations there is also real and enduring care#the fact that lucanis is genuinely kind and spite is genuinely loyal in his spirit-y way. I just. I need a moment.#the nice thing about playing a mourn watcher is that it's easy to imagine rook sort of glimpsing the outlines of some of this#and being quite understanding with spite even as they don't want to be invasive or step on lucanis' still-tender trauma toes about it#be nice to spite. like all of us he is Going Through it fr fr perhaps even more so. and he doesn't even get to have FIRE 😔#*grumbly spite voice* I hate this fucking family
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It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userteri#userdiana#usertreena#miatendos#ruby sunday#enid meadows#roger ap gwilliam#*#this whole thing was just so interesting???#like supposedly the fairy circle meant nothing and mad jack is just a story they made up#but then where did the woman (who is definitely real and definitely supernatural in nature) come from.#what was she saying to people to make them afraid of RUBY. SPECIFICALLY.#why did they call her a HERALD to MAD JACK. then she was used to defeat roger. who by complete coincidence is also called mad jack.#(hey you know what else you could call a herald. perhaps... a prelude. maybe even... a harbinger)#how did ruby TURN INTO the woman when she (i have to assume) died of old age#AND MAYBE MOST IMPORTANTLY. IF OLD DEAD RUBY STOPPED THEM FROM BREAKING THE CIRCLE. WHICH STOPPED EVERYTHING ELSE.#THEN IS ROGER AP GWILLIAM NOT GOING TO REMAIN AS PRIME MINISTER IN 2046?????#or even though that timeline was erased did it still happen Enough for him to... lose? still resign but this time for no reason???#and WHY are we probably NEVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS#AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE DOCTOR FOR 70+ YEARS
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consider,,,a lucanis who is in love with emmrich, a spite who is in love with rook, a rook in love with emmrich, and emmrich who is in love with all three but wants lucanis, spite, and rook to get together because he feels he is not the type of man any of them deserve...
bonus points for spite being the one to realize just what sort of love quadrilateral is going on and is the one to get them all together.
#the angst potential alone#if i can convince my brain to write something other than smut i will in fact consider writing this#JUST. THEM BEING SO MESSY.#SPITE REALIZING THAT EMMRICH IS GETTING CLOSER TO LUCANIS TO TRY AND SWAY ROOK INTO FALLING FOR THEM#LUCANIS REALIZING THAT EMMRICH IS IN LOVE WITH ROOK AND DECIDING EMMRICH'S HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT#SO HE CONSIGNS HIMSELF TO HIS UNHAPPINESS#Rook could also be in love with all three in this scenario but i think it'd be SO FASCINATING for it to be Emmrich!!#Emmrich lamenting that he found the people he loves at a time he believes to be too late#consigning himself to a bachelor's life. he has his studies he has manfred he's content#and then he meets lucanis who is EXACTLY the type of man he fancied as a young man#Someone with so much heart but some rougish charm. appearing cold but so fucking warm under the surface. misunderstood perhaps#the same way he and death are#and so he is smitten. taken by this man and his watchful eye and his steady hands. fascinated by the demon living inside him#the demon who is so curious about this world. who craves to live and understand and emmrich who at his core wants nothing more than to TEAC#and rook. gods emmrich not having the same instant attraction as he did to lucanis but it all hitting him in the chest one night#reckless rook who takes blows they could have dodged to protect him. who always treats his necromancy with respect and curiosity#rook who always reaches out to touch him but stops their hand just shy of making contact. rook who is uncertain but willing to try#rook who is YOUNG and full of possibility and deserves more than whatever shell emmrich believes himself to be#i am just!!!!!!! do you see my VISION#something can happen here!! i'm fucking telling ya'll!!!!!#emmrich volkarin#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age rook#dragon age veilguard#lucanis x emmrich#lucanis x rook#spite x rook#emmrich x rook#emmrich x lucanis#emmrich x rook x lucanis
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Apropos of nothing, a mutual once suggested a series where the unnamed narrator of rock ballad "Stacy's Mom" slowly seduces every member of Stacy's family. I would like it on the record that I still think about that.
#seriously though. a song where the narrator of stacy's mom fucks everyone in stacy's family#EXCEPT stacy? has so much potential. why. how does he feel about it.#how does stacy feel about it. how does he feel about how stacy feels about it. which members did he decide to fuck.#(like ''stacy's grandpa'' feels a little sketchy but also. is that because my commitment isn't quite as robust#as the unnamed narrator's? perhaps I am just insufficiently motivated.)#......this idea regularly drives me nuts.
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Shout-out to women who don't shave. Y'all have the right idea cause that shit is annoying
#gopher art#spice ish#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 demoman#tf2 soldier#tf2 heavy#tf2 sniper#fem fortress#heavymedic#red Oktoberfest#i did in fact perhaps draw women with bodyhair as i proposed yesterday#also i gave heavy my bodytype subconsciously which is kinda fucking hilarious. wish i were that tall though lmao#soldier is saying “private you know not to disturb your commanding officer's rest” to the racoon#based on how my cat jumps on me when im trying to sleep
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“don’t lose it now, old boy.”
With @ratb4stard3
#They are Applewatch to me amen godbless#They are swapping nametags because they are also so gay#tragic gays 😔#but for now they are happy perhaps#Also called old man supreme yup#happy fricken pride month#look how he drew john with his love sick puppy eyes its killing me KILLing me im dead i am dust#ALSO YEAH back at it again with another collab with the brother bet you were NOT expecting this one 😏😏😏#Cause he's my best friend#he's my pal. He's my homeboy#my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese. My good-time boy.#Also i could NOT do wilburs other eye so i did the oldest trick in the book#ALSO ALSO.... you don't even KNOW how hard it was to not draw a mustache on him you dont even KNOW#Wilbur cross#general john macnamara#john macnamara#uncle wiley#Black friday#black friday starkid#Hatchetfield#tgwdlm#The idea was for them to be dressed up casually but sir wiley looks like he is about to take this man out for the most expensive fucking#dinner imaginable#perhaps before#before the#befo
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… hi my loves, it’s been a while <3
#txtnetwork#moacentral#moasource#dailybg#malegroupsnet#kpop#txt#tomorrow x together#taehyun#kang taehyun#my gif‼️#boyfie ♡#useryeonbins#useryeonjuins#useryukuz#usersemily#hijaehyukkies#wabisarah#ayabestie#rosieblr#0x1zone#please excuse how fucking rough these are- i did them quickly on my phone bc i was just so excited to see this#i think perhaps i will have to whip out ps again#its been so long yall- i nearly forgot how to work this shit 😭😭#ive missed being here#hoping all my besties are staying safe and healthy!#mwah mwah!#flashing tw#also hi my bday passed- ya girl is 23 now ugh
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Of course post-canon odysseus and penelope love each other (they are a little bit insane about the other. Neither is allowed to leave the others side for months after odysseus gets back. They cycle between sobbing on one and another and aggressively making out. ) but it's true that they have both changed. It's been twenty hard years after all. So
Odypen courting each other again just for the fun of it. Odypen deciding to act like teenagers again and make elaborate plans pretending to sneak into the others room.
Odysseus sending penelopes 90 year old dad a letter challenging him to a race for penelopes hand in marriage. (This does not go over well but penelope though it was hilarious)
Odysseus begging Athena to help him win penelopes heart/hand again. (Athena: What no why you're already married I don't understand you ) (she helps anyways)
Penelope weaving all of odysseus's clothes. Penelope hauling out every tapestry she made of telemachus's childhood (she made one for every year. To gift odysseus on his birthday when he returned.)
Odypen leaving telemachus incharge while they go off on dates (to harssass, cause problems, and badger other people into giving them things). It should be fine Athena has been sticking close to the house lately. And it's only for an afternoon anyways (at first. Headcanon that penelope came with odysseus when he had to go plant the oar and call it a windmill quest.)
#The odyssey#Post-canon my beloved#An important part of the heros journey is that even though you've changed irrevocably the home still loves you#Odysseus#Penelope#Telemachus#Athena#Odypen#Odysseus and penelope being 🥰🤝 rat bastards in love#Odypen mutually obsessed and possessive and insane about the other#Odypen age 50 deciding to act like teenagers for fun#Yes penelopes father did show up to the challenge odysseus set and then promptly beat his ass in a foot race#Yes this did cause a major diplomatic incident when he demanded penelope come back with him#(Hes never ever warmed up to odysseus and every day he mutters about his sweet penelope could have been athenas priestess instead)#(It took telemachus weeping at his grandpa about how he just got both parents for him to change his mind)#Odysseus: athenaaaa I've met the girl of my dreams and I need her to be mineeee#Athena: having flashbacks to odysseus at 17 and the complete distracted mess he was: what the fuck is happening#Athena: like obviously I'm going to help but I am also going to lay on telemachus's floor#And mutter about how this is just like last time? How could it be just like last time when they're already married#Not quite falling back in love but something close to it#Relearning perhaps#As always I'm having post odypen reunion thoughts#Odypen showing of diomedes doorstep in Italy and he just closes the door immediately he's not dealing with two odysseus not today
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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Riz has counted four casseroles this week alone. Five, if one goes by the method of cooking, but Yelen's scary when she's crossed, and calling her burek by its proper name is important to her, so Riz does her the courtesy and doesn't include it in his mental tally.
He holds the tupperware over his head to keep it out if the way as he takes careful steps over the piles of notes in his path. The dockman case just closed, relevant documentations handed over to relevant personnels, evidences dealt with as needed; all he has lying around now is just record of the process and traces of himself thinking through it. Unsurprisingly they still haven't invented a surface more convenient for people under five feet who like to pace to put pieces of paper on than the ground.
Actual records go into the case folder with the other documents. Anything else with at least one side still blank is going to the school kids in the block - they chew through an astounding amount of paper just learning arithmetic. The rest is for the recycling basket.
Later. It's his mandated lunch break right now.
Riz sits down in front of the corner file cabinet. In an office often overrun with papers and strings and sometimes even thumbtacks, he's never really managed to clutter up this exact square of surface like every other ones. Ever since the bottom drawer rattled for no discernible reason a day long past, his eyes have always just kinda decided to slide across the space without acknowledging it.
It's years out, now. Riz doesn't know why he thought it such a big deal anymore, back then. He wasn't scared, he doesn't think. Not anymore. Maybe just uncomfortable with the idea that certain things persist despite all efforts to change.
He opens the tupperware. Dame Carabelle's experiment greets him with enough spice in the aroma alone to knock out a small mammal. When he chopped the vegetables for this casserole he couldn't really imagine the eventual heft of it, evident even through just these few ladles' worth, maybe weighing heavier for being still warm. His folk eat more through the smell and the textures and the aftertastes than the taste itself. His folk's meal is really the cooking rather than the eating. The eating is the meal's end.
"Hey," he tells the file cabinet's bottom drawer. "Um."
It's the anniversary. Riz doesn't know the exact date of his dad's death; nobody currently alive does. He and Mom both use the date of the funeral, though as he moved out to Bastion and then got more directly involved with Interplanar he hasn't really been going to Dad's grave as much. Doesn't seem like very efficient use of his time, catching a train or borrowing a car or spending a whole spell slot on going somewhere he knows Dad isn't at. They're sorta coworkers now. They talk on and off every other week between missions. When he goes now, it's just to clean up the place, keeping the landmark tidy and respectable.
Without that work to mark the date he doesn't really know what it serves anymore. But he still remembers it. Still takes note, absently or not, when it comes around.
There's not really a good way to tell the drawer that. Riz looks for another way to start the... conversation, hopefully. The question at play, he'd guess, is why he's doing this. He's been pretty content ignoring all the rattlings and the knocks from inside and the times it sits slightly ajar without him ever opening it himself; hell, he still uses the three drawers on top of it. Space is fucking precious in Bastion.
Precious enough to finally fix this damn drawer so he gets his turn to use it? Riz asks himself. Is that what we're getting to? Then he dismisses the thought - he didn't manage to fix it the times he actually tried, let alone-- now. When he doesn't really care that much to.
That's probably a good place to start. "'s fine if you keep being in there, turns out," Riz says.
The lunch hours are quiet in the block, sleepy and bright with the brief window of sunlight that manages to break through roof overhangs and extended balconies and laundry lines and climbing vines. Riz's work isn't loud here (the loud parts happen away from his office, if everything goes right), but the fragment of early summer heat reflected in the steady warmth his meal still carries compels him to lower his voice even more. It makes the words feel intimate, in a way he's never been familiar with - if he says something he just says it. He doesn't whisper. If he gives his friends something, he gives it open-palm. He's found out, along the way, that people usually don't think of rituals and courtesies the way he does.
Small voice for a diminished monster. "You know why I think so?" Riz asks. "Because almost two decades ago you kidnapped me and almost killed me, and now you rattle a drawer in my office."
It doesn't sound as much like a taunt as Riz wanted it to; the drawer has made a lot of noises again this morning when he checked the calendar, and he was definitely annoyed at it. Now, though, facing it like this after cooking the whole morning with more grandparents and peers from the block than he can count on both hands to cater for a tenant union meeting, he thinks the annoyance has morphed. Changed shape.
It has the shades of something like pity. Riz is not prone to pity, and especially not at these kinda matters. It's slightly maddening that he coheres perfectly outside of this one spot. That he commands his spaces, except for a drawer.
He puts the tupperware onto the floor between himself and the cabinet. "I know we're aware it's the anniversary," he says at the drawer. "You do this every year. You make a ruckus every time I decide to go do my job instead of mooching off my friends' aircon, and every time I get an invitation to some stupid social thing I want to turn down, and every time one of the old people tries to introduce me to a child or a nibling, because being a bachelor over thirty is weird," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have three fucking jobs. I love doing my fucking jobs. I'm forcing funds into infrastructures. You're never leaving, are you."
The drawer vibrates lightly. It's a very, very mild acknowledgement, considering the history of reactions Riz has gotten from this thing. Riz thinks it's emanating joyous agreement, or satisfaction.
It only sharpens the pity. Riz doesn't like that, but it's how it is. That's, ultimately, the lesson he's been taught over and over and over again, just by existing as himself, turned every which way by space after space that don't see him eye-to-eye: it's not like he'd quit living over any of it. It's not like any of it can sand off these fundamental pieces of him.
He's outgrown a lot of things, he's found out. Again, and again, and again. A childhood home, a yearly trip, a monster.
"'s probably scary for you, huh?" He asks. "Because I left."
He thinks he hears joints creak that sound like you did. Probably the way a scorned lover would say it, in a movie or a yellowback. He has no more connection to the idea than he did as a kid. Less, because it doesn't even scare him.
"That's what it is, right? That it's the anniversary, and I'll never be like Dad." He raises a knee from the floor, pulls it back closer to him. Slings an arm over it. "You love to remind me. The thing is, Dad also left. He loved Mom and he loved me, and none of us wanted it to happen, but it still did. Because love does fuckall to make anyone stay on its own."
He's long past being bitter about it. It's just the facts. Once upon a time he looked into the future and the specter of his friends' happily-ever-after casted lightless, fathomless shadow over him. Love, marriage, that kind of devotion, to a fifteen-year-old with more solved cases than friends seemed so eternal. Final.
But you can only watch your friends build up apps' worth of jilted lovers for so long before getting over it.
"You know what I learned?" Riz tells the drawer. "Love doesn't make anyone stay. Project management does."
He stands up, and picks up the tupperware of Dame Carabelle's casserole, that he helped make, that he helped share with a block's worth of neighbors and members of a community he's at home with, and goes sit at his desk to eat. "Last chance to get any," he drops an offer over his shoulder as he walks away.
He doesn't eat all of his share in one go. What he's spared he leaves on the desk when going outside for a smoke break. Baron looks the exact same as when he saw them last, when he catches a glimpse; they haven't grown at all. They aren't there when he comes back inside, but the leftover has gone days-old cold, like someone's sucked the future out of it.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#this is set a Long time into the future. riz is like 32 in this one#''I will go to sleep'' so turns out that was a fucking lie#lmao I just needed to finally externalize this idea into Some kind of more final form#initially I aimed for a comic with this but ooughgoughhh I am. indisposed. unable to do that rn#and also I feel like there would just be too fucking much Riz Saying Words in that format for it to work. and I always go if theres so much#words in ur comic might as well make it a fic. and well. heeding my own advice perhaps#just been sitting on this sentiment of like. perceiving romantic relationships as uniquely permanent or conclusive#when the vast majority of people I know would hugely benefit from a divorce lmao#since watching fhjy at least. I think in a sense this is kind of my personal answer for that sticky note style comic I did way back thens#how much of that fear of being deprioritized comes from not being taken care of by the community you're in#I think that's the prettiest answer I can give for riz's deal. not one singular Special Person no matter the kind of flavour#but spaces that he's integrated in. that he has a hand in building even#okay NOW I sleep. everyone be quiet ok small voice for good sleep. it wont be a lie this time I prommy
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i always wonder what it’ll take for how fat i am to get acknowledged. the only time ive ever had it publicly or privately called out (besides in kink situations) was in 9th grade. i didn’t go to anime club because im not into anime (im still not) even though i told this dude i would be there lol.
he was pissed at me the next day and just mouthed the words “you’re fat” in the hallway like that would mean anything… i’ve never rlly been insulted for my weight or had it poked fun at. is it weird i want to get big enough for that to happen??
#also fuck that guy fr#he’s always been a bit of a dick#and i don’t think he’s even done anything since graduating?? idk i don’t have him on insta#perhaps. stalking time#in high school i assume it was bc i had a different reputation#my parents party w ppl i went i HS with now (small towns are fucking weird)#and this one guy was like ‘yeah i would’ve asked her to do my homework but she seemed snobby’#i never did ANYONES homework#i didn’t even do my own#i literally copied off my best friend if i couldn’t do it in <20 minutes#this girl from HS that went to the same university i did asked me to write an essay for her#freshman year. lmfao#anyways. i like to ramble :3#talk
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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DP X DC X Subnautica
Where the Justice League (mostly focusing on the Superfam or Batfam or Flashfam) are large leviathan-esque creatures living on Planet 4546B. Maybe they can change forms due to Precursor experimentation, maybe not. Those with young hang out around the shallows more than the others, what with most of them being large super or specialized predators.
Enter Danny Fenton, interning on the Aurora when the ship is shot down by the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. Oh sure he probably would have tried to stop the destruction and help, but his ghost powers are a bit on the fritz and a well-meaning worker pushes him into one of the last life pods seeing as he's a child.
Now the leviathans may not know what a ship is exactly, but they can definitely understand that in most cases things technology = precursors. As far as they understand, a metal deathtrap not unlike the old labs or caches fell alongside several metallic eggs, with the emerging hatchlings misshapen and not living long.
But then there's the egg that landed in the shallows, which at first they thought was empty. But a hatchling- much smaller than the previous ones- emerges, a day later than the rest, but they're alive even if their swimming is all wobbly! It's so tiny, and obviously hatched too early with the strange split tail and how it keeps swimming to the surface for air, and they have to protect it! Now if only the little hatchling would answer their calls and not dart into hiding spots whenever they approach...
Honestly this is up to the writer lol, but I like to think that Danny's ghost form, when he finally manages to achieve it again, goes a little naga-esque. Almost like a sea snake instead of just a whispy ghost tail, which while better for swimming doesn't help his freak out over most ghost powers still not working.
Danny is just trying to survive man, maybe find other survivors, turn off this big alien gun, stop creating frost crystals when he sneezes, the usual. He doesn't need giant humanoid-esque leviathan-sized sea creatures poking around!
#DcxDP#Prompts#Subnautica#Prompts that came from a dream lol#featuring Danny's ghost form being like a naga lol#danny phantom au#Space core Danny#Khaara is like an ecto-disease like a super deadly ecto-achne that the precursors fucked around and found out with#Why are Danny's ghost powers on the fritz? Idk maybe it's his first ghost puberty or maybe it's something the Precursors did#Batfam#Supergam#Flashfam#Hell maybe all three families are there in the crater trying to pspspsps the new son/brother#Batfam are deep-water leviathans with reflective undersides & patterns who start brightly colored and get darker with age#Superfam deserve long flowing fins that mimic the red capes & also glowy bits#Flashfam are long and eel-like for speed with electrical abilities for fun#Wonderwoman is probably plated around the limbs & bits of gold-vein patterns (babies hatched in nests of clay perhaps)#Aquaman is even more fish-esque#Cyborg is a young-adult leviathan that was experimented on by the Precursors and is similar to the Warpers#Green Lanterns have transparent green fins that mimic their constructs & green bioluminescence#Danny: I am not a *baby*#Justice Leviathans: Oh my stars it's a *baby*#Billy: Just accept it there's no escape#No shipping between Danny plz to them he is literally a baby
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#magneton#yeah i still don't really know what to do about pokémon with multiple heads. this one is perhaps an exception#because it also has multiple Bodies. it is three magnemite stuck together#which. well. what is there to say about this. gen 1 was fucked up in a lot of ways and they made a lot of pokémon clearly#underestimating what the series would turn into. shit that there's No lore for because they had no idea they would ever have to#establish any more lore than they did
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