#beneath the resentment and confusion and fear and mutual frustrations there is also real and enduring care
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can you even imagine what a fucking horror show the early game is from spite's perspective, though. not only is this funky forcibly severed little slip of the fade having to deal with the reverse cosmic horror of physical reality as perceived by a spirit and being trapped in it against its will -- existentially confused and disoriented and hurting and nothing makes any kind of sense, at the mercy of human cruelty at its most deliberately sadistic. and then the one source of comfort and compassion and some kind of safety and clarity that lucanis surely must have been to him in the ossuary despite everything just goes and shuts himself in his room inside with a seemingly passive aggressive number of locks between them and no explanation and won't speak to him and they're STILL in the fucking ossuary. rook came and found them and they could be free now (rook is here!) and still lucanis keeps them in the ossuary even though he PROMISED he promised they'd get out of there together!!! what the fuck DO you think at that point? like did he trick me that whole time??? he wasn't like zara before, so why is he doing this to me now? why isn't he saying anything? 'he won't move. I can't reach him'. at least in the ossuary they had a deal, a goal, a hope -- each other. at least he wasn't entirely alone, before.
this poor poor poor little spite spirit really was ferried into the real world like 'hey welcome to reality! as your first introduction to it you're first getting horrifically tortured and then getting to vicariously experience one of THE most distressing and harrowing psychological conditions the human brain can cook up for itself (a fully fledged and deeply entrenched freeze response flaring up with catastrophic severity due to an unbroken ongoing and unlikely to let up any time soon chain of Unfortunately... Recent Events). I think spite is being extremely reasonable and patient about the whole thing, when you put it into perspective. I'm not saying let him eat the self-lighting candles or anything, but he's got some extremely valid points along the way lol. spite is not only child-like, the metaphor work going on is a lot more pleasingly flexible and complex than that, but he is also helplessly existentially dependent on lucanis in a way that, if anything, is a heightened version of the way a child (or child part) has to depend on a parent to navigate the world and survive.
tl;dr: we truly don't give enough sympathy to spite for having to live in the head of lucanis dellamorte. a place even lucanis dellamorte would prefer not to be. to be fair to him I think lucanis would be the first person to agree with this lol
#it's a lot like it would be if a spirit possessed me I suspect. like sorry you're in here too now I've tried to get out myself but no luck#possessor's remorse#spite very much did not have a choice in all of that he's just working with the hand he's been dealt here lol#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#spite#lucanis dellamorte#spite is such a little gremlin but looking at what's going on from his pov for even like a split second is so heartbreaking haha#one of my favourite parts of their relationship is that there clearly is affection of some sort on both sides even at the beginning#beneath the resentment and confusion and fear and mutual frustrations there is also real and enduring care#the fact that lucanis is genuinely kind and spite is genuinely loyal in his spirit-y way. I just. I need a moment.#the nice thing about playing a mourn watcher is that it's easy to imagine rook sort of glimpsing the outlines of some of this#and being quite understanding with spite even as they don't want to be invasive or step on lucanis' still-tender trauma toes about it#be nice to spite. like all of us he is Going Through it fr fr perhaps even more so. and he doesn't even get to have FIRE 😔#*grumbly spite voice* I hate this fucking family
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