#but also i want to tell them that even tho it get’s worse it gets better too like you’ll fall in love and have a family and one day you’ll
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༄“I would set the world on fire for you” | LN4 ⟢
Parings: lando norris x gf!reader.
Summary: after the Brazil GP, lando comes home to the worst week of his year. Also, it was his birthday. So even though the world hates him, you wanna make sure he is loved and he did nothing wrong. And that if you could you would set the world on fire for him.
Word count: +5k.
Warnings: angst and fluff at the same time. Anxiety attack. Overthinking. Selfhatred. Language. And that’s it. I’m not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Author’s note: lately I NEED to write things to cope with my feelings so here it is. Hope Vegas is good to all of my boys 💌 don’t forget to like, reflow or comment! Ur support its way loved here. and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
Your heart was completely shattered. Your heart was racing to get out of your car at the airport. In exactly 20 minutes your boyfriend will be back home after the worst weekend ever imagined. You couldn't assist the Brazilian GP because of your work schedule. You had a few meetings after Mexico gp. And you felt so guilty about it. You knew lando would be more protected if you were there. At least in the intimacy of you, emotionally speaking. Having someone there for him to hug and to comfort him. to calm his mind. To stop the self hatred you knew it was playing right now in his head.
Lando is an overthinker and you get him because you were also one. You knew to which scenarios his mind can travel to and how painful it can be for him to live with himself sometimes. You were fighting your tears reading all of the atrocious things people commented online. You knew that wasn't real life. But you also knew he would see all that and how that would weigh in his heart. They can never let him win. And the worst part was only because it was just him. Other drivers could do or say worse things and everybody would laugh and brush it off. But when it came to Lando, he was a monster, a loser, an arrogant son of a bitch. That hurt deeply. Because in reality lando is the sweetest soul you have ever met. And you knew how vulnerable he could be. Tho you always admired him for that. You always thought that the bravest and strongest people in this world are the ones that admit to need help, the ones that are vulnerable and open about it. In a world this cruel, that was no easy task. But he did time and time again.and he did even knowing how shitty people were gonna be to him. Though, he did it for people he knew that counted on him. Lando always talks about how people sometimes come to him saying he has saved their lives and the impact he had on them. It's something beautiful yet that weighted on his shoulders as well, you thought.
You crossed the airport gates. Anxiety shaking your whole body. You wanted to hug him so bad. To tell him everything was gonna be fine.
You opened the flight information he sent you before his plane took off so you looked for the probable gate he was coming out of when landed. Even though you were anxious you were also relieved that he was home with you.
After a few minutes passed by, a lot of people started coming out of the door you were waiting for. You started gazing at everyone just to find him. After a bunch of people got out, there he was. One of the last ones to go through the door. When you saw him your body almost came undone. You were out of air for a moment while the two of you got closer. When he is finally within reach, you give him the strongest hug you could. He melted on you, hugging you by your neck. Not much time passed when you heard him crying hid in your neck. Your heart that was shattered, broke immediately. You tighter your grip unto him. He started to sob and you couldn't hold your own tears at that point. You knew he had the worst time on that flight, alone with his cruel thoughts torturing him for hours. And there was nothing that you could do to protect him. You couldn't say a word. There was nothing that you could say that it would make things better right now.
Lando was sobbing and shaking. His levels of anxiety reached a high when he saw you standing there looking for him desperately with your eyes. He needed you. But life’s a bitch and you couldn't stay with him throughout the whole American leg. He came undone in your arms. He needed to hug you for so long. He was broken. His mind replying to all the mistakes he made. All of his wrong decisions. All of the shit he said. He was embarrassed, angry and defeated. He was ashamed of himself. Disgusted. Frustrated and scared.
Yu rubbed his back trying to comfort him in the hug and trying to not cry so you could be the strong one for him. He needed you, you knew it. And you wanted to fix all of this in a snap of fingers, but you couldn't.
“It’s okay baby. You are gonna be alright, I promise. I love you. You’re home now ", Yu said, to make him feel at least slightly better. When he heard you he started sobbing even harder. You let him take all the time he needed. While doing so, you tried to see where you were and how you could, if someone was recording and taking a picture. Fortunately you were almost alone. It was the last flight arriving for today. You feel relieved knowing this won't be used against him by the cruel internet trolls.
(...)
The drive home was silent. No music, no speaking. He didn't even look at you the whole ride. He was looking through the window avoiding any contact with society you thought while driving your Audi R8 V10 GT RWD through the illuminated Monaco streets. It was around 9pm. You had cooked for him some home made pasta you knew he adored. You just wanted him to feel better.
When you got home, he took his bags to the room with your help. You left his second suitcase next to his wardrobe and saw him lying on the bed.
“I made your fav homemade pasta. Do you want me to bring it here and eat it in bed?” you offered him with a soft voice. He was looking to the ceiling. He did not answer right away, but after a few moments he did.
“I'm not hungry, but thank you. Maybe i'll eat later” he said with a deep cracky voice and turned himself in the bed showing you his back. You frowned a bit.
He couldn't look at you. He hated that you could see him like this. He was ashamed of himself drawing in self pity and self hatred. He felt he let you down.
“Aln, did you eat something during the flight at least?” you asked worriedly, walking forward to the bed so you could get closer to him. You sat on the table next to his back looking at him. You didn't want to touch him just because you didn't know if he would want you to. You didn't want to be invasive. You stayed in silence for a few minutes. You understood he didn't eat, that he didn't want to either or speak. So you stood up and let him have his alone time closing the door gently behind your back.
You ate alone that night.in silence just as if you could hear him from your kitchen aisle. The past was really good. You turned off your phone after washing the dishes and tidied the kitchen and living room up. You didn't want to see what social media was saying about your lover before bed. It was already enough scrolling and reading so many people wishing lando to die. That was the hardest part of it all. You left your phone charging on the kitchen counter and went to your shared room. When you entered he was already showered getting into the bed again. You half smiled at him even though he couldn't see you. You put on your pajamas in silence and climbed up the bed. He looked at you while you were getting comfortable next to him.
Your eyes met. Any of you said anything. Just looked at each other trying to read each other thought as if that was possible. He licked his dry lips. His eyes turned glassy.
“I messed everything up,” he said almost in a whisper. Your heart is breaking again. You shook your head at him getting closer and bringing him into your chest. You hugged him tightly.
“No you didnt baby. Sometimes people are just mean, you know? They will interpret things as the wish” you said softly rubbing his back and arm and caressing his hair gently. He felt a bit better under your frame. He felt protected but as a little kid when missbehaved so now he tries to find comfort. He didn't want to cry.he was trying hard not to let tears stream down his cheeks. You kissed his forehead and made him look at you. “I know you dont wanna talk about it but i love and i am so deeply and entirely proud of you” you whisper close to his face. You saw him pout and the first tears coming down his face. You hugged him tightly. He hid in your neck and eventually fell asleep. You wanted to set the world on fire for this. You wanted to ruin every single person who says awful things about it. The comments, the media. You wanted to destroy everything and everyone just to protect him. He doesn't deserve this. He is an angel and you can't believe the world could only see the devil in him.
Lando tried to sleep but he couldn't. Everytime he closed his eyes, all of the tragic scenes from the race replayed in his mind. How the car felt, the rain, the radio messages, Oscar's voice, comments from his engineer . everything replayed in his head torturing him the worst way possible. He felt like getting down. He felt alone and miserable. He remembered Oscar words replying in his mind over and over again. “You will eventually make it, mate”. It was a positive message but he replayed it like a fucking nightmare.
What if he never makes it? What if he doesn't have what it takes? What if people are right? What if he is actually a monster and deserves to die? What if he did? Would they like him again or figure him out? Would anyone care about his feelings? Why does it have to be him and not someone else? Why are they all so cruel to him?
He couldn't stop thinking about every single detail about the weekend. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday anymore. He had you there but couldn't look at you. He felt disgusted by himself. He can't control it. He wants to go back into go karts and stop the time when he was actually happy and having fun with his friends. Now that line between friends and enemies is so blurry for him. Max didn't talk to him like before when all of this shit started. He knew Max was really competitive, of course he did, everyone knew it since day 1. But what about their friendship? Lando shit talked, max shit talked. He felt so confused even by his own feelings around this whole shitty situation or championship situation. Whatever you want to call it.
(...)
When you woke up the next morning he was gone. You felt kind of confused for a bit. You heard him talking so you guessed he was speaking on the phone. When you got up from bed you walked out the room to find him. When you got closer to the living room you knew he was talking to Max on facetime because you heard his voice.
“Morning, guys” you said, getting into the kitchen for some water to take your thyroid pills. Lando looked at you half-smile.
“Good morning baby” he said as sweetly as he could. You smiled at him. Before coming back to your room to shower and stuff you went and gave him a good morning kiss making Max almost throw up when he saw you in a funny way. You showed him the middle finger and disappeared so he could talk in private with his mate. You respected his place a lot. And i guess that’s why you understand so much each other.
(...)
The following day things got worse. Lando hasn't eaten any meal you prepared for him, didn't even want to have take out or anything. You found him crying in the kitchen and in the garden by the pool of your house. His anxiety was killing him, you knew. The desperation and guilt were eating him alive and you didn't know what to do rather than try to talk and comfort him.
He was sitting on the sofa in the living room. His sight was fixed on the floor without moving. You got alarmed because you knew what was going on. You got close slowly to not trigger him even more. His face was red, his hands sweaty and shaking. You sat on the floor diagonal from him looking at him. Slowly and gently you grabbed his hands trying to capture his brain's attention and get him out of the fog he was in. You were almost sure he was having an anxiety attack and he started because of your touch. You gently rubbed your fingers in his hands. He was out of breath for a moment and you got scared so you tried to do as your therapist told you in case someone you know goes through this.
“Lan, can you hear me? Try to pay attention to my voice okay? I'm here and I'm with you dull be alright” you said really softly trying to make him look at you. You looked for his eyes with your gaze. “It’s not as terrible as you think, baby, I promise. You aren't all of those things people comment” you used your words carefully. His hands caught your strength and so you reassured him. You saw his pout becoming deeper. You hurt to see him like this. It was so unfair. He doesnt deserve this, god. And he broke. He broke down again. His tears streamed down his face. Sobbing in so much pain. You sat next to him to hug him tightly once more. But now you knew it was worse. He was shaking under your arms.you let him go through this. So he can let go of all of this shit inside him. “I promise lando, you aren't all of those things. People are just mean and cruel. You are a good baby and so talented. Gifted. You have it in you I promise, I can see it” you tried to comfort him with your words as well, trying to distract your mind from the tragic thought he was dealing with by himself. A few tears fell down your face. It was a hard time. And you were trying to be strong for him.
“I'm so stupid I'm sorry” he sobbed and you shook your head.
“No, Lando, you aren't. I promise okay? Believe me.i know you and you aren't. And this will pass. All the people that know you for real, we love you and we are so proud of you. You had an amazing year. You are fucking fighting a three time world champion, even sooner than he did with lewis back in 2021. That’s huge my love. Your dream is near, I just know it. Because I know you, and you’ll make it, baby. You didn't let anyone down. You're getting stronger so when you finally make it, all of these moments will make it taste so much better and sweeter” you explained while rubbing his back. Your words made an effect on him. Heslowly calming down. He didn't want to let you go. He wanted to just stay there in your arms. Where he felt safe and sound. Noone could hurt him there. That was what made him fall for you. You saw him. You knew him. And you care about him. He was finally important for someone for being lando, and not lando norris formula one driver. His past lovers left him feeling confused whether they loved him for him or their idea of him. You came outta nowhere and blew him away. You were brutally honest, no filter yet so gentle and caring with your words. He thought his perfect girl didn't exist but then there was you, listening to him for hours if he needed to. Giving him the best advice and clearing his perspective. Always cheering him up. Cracking jokes so he could distract and feel relaxed. Heknew he was in love with you the moment you offered to give him a ride because he was drunk as well at a new years party. It was normal but the fact that a stranger could do that for him blew his mind. He never admitted afraid people would think it’s weird. But it is what it is. Your smile ended him right there and when you started cracking jokes he didn't want to live in that damn car for the rest of his life. So here you are 4 years later,and you still be the greatest person in the world and the one who knew him the most. He felt your lips on his forehead. For a moment he thought about leaving racing. What if his life was better without it in it? He could go back to Bristol and be with his friends. With you. Maybe start a family and have a normal job so you could spend each day together. He started crying again at that thought. He loved racing but this year was the hardest yet amazing one.
He finally calmed down after a few minutes in silence. He looked at you with puppy eyes. You caressed his face gently brushing a few tears falling down still.
“Would you be there with me? Could you?” he asked, making you a bit confused. And he noticed. “To the races. I need you there. Please. To every race and when I become a champion,would you be there with me? You could feel he's scared. You half smiled at him melting as his comment.
“Of course I'll be there, baby. I’ll always be there for and with you. If I could , I would set the whole world on fire just for you. Never doubt it, okay?” he nodded and you pulled him closer to give him so many little kisses around his whole face making him gigle a little.
“I love you, y/n” he said looking at you fondly.
“I love you, lando. Everything’s gonna be alright” you said, assuring him and gave a peck on his lips. “Go have a shower and dress cute im gonna take you out on a date before your birthday” you said more lighful to cheer him up and his face lit up.
“Really?” you noddedat him and send him to shower agin funny. Before going with him so yhou both looked facy, you needed to say something to the world. You couldnt stay crossed arms and do nothing about it.
── .✦
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maxfewtrell: I CHOKED
norrisfan: omg thank u queen for this
user45: ur as dumb as he is. you cant defend him. he sucks and thats it darling. don lie to yourself.
── .✦
You turned off your phone once again. You were already so fed up with it all. Let them talk. You were sure they would choke with their own shit eventually.
but continued with the day. Lando was still a little off but he was looking better so maybe he is actually feeling better. You took out to dinner at a restaurant he always dreamed of going to. He was so happy to be there. The food was delicious. It was near the beach though it is colder here so we looked at it through the glass window. You gossip and talk about anything and everything as if everything was alright. And it was a fact it was. Because this is real life. Not social media. A few people stopped you while eating to ask for pictures and Lando said yes every time you even became a photoshoot photographer. Nice people telling him nice things was what he needed right now. Plus, you would never be pissed off by his fans. You were actually grateful for them. Of course, some can be disrespectful but you knew the real one was it. You really embraced Lando's life even though it’s nothing like the life you’d dreamed of to have one day. But he is the boy of your dreams so why would it be a problem.
November, 13th
When the clock hit midnight, the restaurant made a cake for him so we all sang him happy birthday. You chose his favorite type of cake. He giggled all nervous and shy. His cheeks red while his eyes showed a little sparkle while watching the candles. He blew them. You recorded the whole thing and took so many pictures. He thanked the staff and staff of the restaurant and they let you enjoy the cake in comfort. Your heart was full to see him a little back again.
After The restaurant kicked you out because they needed to close, you decided to do a road trip through the mountains of monaco. You always enjoy a good ride with good music and good company. And you also had sex in the car. You kind of guessed he needed to take his frustrations out somehow because you had the rough sex you really enjoyed. He joked it was his best birthday present making you laugh. He was joking again.
“Thank you” he said while gently rubbing your naked chest. You were seated on him. You smiled and leaned for a soft kiss on his lips. You really loved him. And all you wanted for him was happiness and well being. And you would do anything to make sure he is okay.
You came back home and had another round of sex. Enjoying yourselves in intimacy. Lando finally fell asleep after a terrible few days, in the calm of your body. His face on your bare chest. You clothed him and fell asleep relieved.
── .✦
yourusername made a post
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yourusername: What can I say about you? There's no words that can describe your greatness. Or my feelings for you. I'm so grateful you were born on November 13th. 25 years ago my best friend and the love of my life was brought to this world. And sometimes what unfair is that, right? A world that is so cruel to you. A world that doesn't deserve your greatness and kindness nor your attention. You are the greatest son, brother, uncle, friend and lover. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't actually know you. We are all so lucky that you choose us to spend your time on this world with. Thank you for being who you care. For caring about the people you love and making sure we are alright and happy. Thank you for being the light that you are for so many lives. Thank you for being vulnerable. I admire you so much, lan. You are the strongest and bravest human I know. so honest and open. Anyone who says otherwise, actually, doesn't know you. I know this is not the best birthday of your life, but I promise you I'll try to make it better. Thank you for being who you are to me. I promise I see you and I care. You're the love of my life. And I'm so lucky you love me over any other human out there. So happy birthday to the prettiest and most genuine, real, fun, kind, warm person I have the chance to call mine everyday. Hope you have the best day you can have right now. That’s the least you deserve. I love you forever bestie. Don’t ever change.
tagged: landonorris
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── .✦
── .✦
So you had a master plan for Lando's birthday. You went to the Hilton hotel for some coffee with Max and Lando of course. We lied and said pietra couldn't make it because she had a meeting and Lando believed. Truth was, you have contacted all of his friends and arregened flights so everyone could make it to Monaco on time. Pietra was the one in your house. You left her a spare key yesterday evening after coffee with alex. You gave her the directions and the idea of what you wanted while you and Max distracted Lando until 7pm, she decorated the house and received all of his friends. Lando had no clue of what was going on but he was so happy it was the second cake you brought to him. You recorded the moment and seeing him smile made your heart melt.
── .✦
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landonorris: I love you greatest girlfriend there to exist. Thank u for everything and specially for making this day so much better. Ur an Angel ❤️🩹
⤷ yourusername: I love u more Angel ❤️🩹 the least you deserve is to be loved and happy.
User33: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Landostan: THANK U FOR EXISTING AND TAKING SUCH CARE OF HIM UR A QUEEN I LOVE U WE LOVE U
carlossainz55: ur the best 🫶🏻
⤷ yourusername: te extraño hermano we need to double date with Rebecca again asap!
── .✦
When 7pm came around we all “decided” to go to your house and eat pizza for dinner. Lando even said to me that they could do a stream and have fun for a bit. You agreed and all knowing that wasn't gonna happen. The ride home was so much fun. You spent the 20 minute ride screaming a one direction song from the top of your lungs. You sang Lando ‘through the dark’ And he sang ‘You and i’.it was lovely, Max almost threw up when you kissed. Luckily he was driving so he hadn't watched much of your pda.
You got out of the car trying to play it cool though you were so nervous. You saw Max texting Pietra that you were close.the lights were off. And silent. Your nervousness took over you when you tried to open the door but let the keys fall nervously. Thankfully Max and Lando were discussing which type of pizza they would order. Finally you opened the door, lando behind you and so you turned on the lights.
Everyone jumped from everywhere saying happy birthday in unison. Yoursmile was so big but when you saw lando his smile was even bigger.
“Surprise!” you said and lando was still processing it. But when his friend started hugging him he started crying out of joy. He thought his friends weren't coming this year because of their busy schedule.but that was a lie you made them tell so lando wouldn suspect anything. Fortunately, they all kept the secret safe. Lando was so happy.
You all spent the night playing poker, drinking gin and tonics and surrounded by laughter and love. In the moment, around everybody, you felt lucky to be there. Especially to be in landos life. Everyone was so sweet and good just like him. He deserves the world.
Everyone went home around 2 am. You were exhausted and tipsy at the end of the night. So you put your pajamas on and sled straight on the bed. Lando wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Thank you for everything. It was a great birthday. Thank u for always taking care of me always.you make me the happiest” he said under a whisper looking at you. He looked so gorgeous with that little smile and tired eyes. You stroked his cheek gently, smiling.
“You deserve to be happy darling. You are unstoppable. Better days at work will come,I know.but im grateful that you have so much love surrounding you. I love you” he smiled widely listening to you and leaned to kiss you with so much feelings and passion. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to him and also the greatest decision he has ever made when he asked you out.
── .✦
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f1gossipofficial: here it is @/yourusername at the McLaren garage ready for fp1 cheering for his 4 year boyfriend @/landonorris! Lando was asked about the whole drama around the Brazil gp and his birthday and her statement and he said ‘I’m lucky to have her. I would set the world on fire for her. So yeah. We are the same that is why we work so well. It was a great birthday though. She brought my whole group of friend to Monaco for a poker night so yeah’ also he said that if it wasn’t for her he would’ve collapsed on his overthinking but thankfully she was there. We love a power couple on the grid!! What do we think about all of this? #LasVegasGP2024
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User1873: they are both the same shit tbh
User23: I LOVE THEM GREATEST COUPLE ON THE GRID
User29873: I don’t like lando but she cute supporting him like that. I saw she gave a kiss to him before getting into the car. They seem in love!
⤷ Usrr988: I KNOW TIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY I CAUGHT THAT KISS IN THE OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION
Yourbff: she is the greatest person you would know!! Let’s go lan!!!
User564: Max will win the dwc and NOTHING would change that or move me so
User90: omg she is so pretty
y/nstan: how lucky lando is to have her. She is always the sweetest to all of his fans. And also funny. Such a queen!
User897: where are the pictures of them arriving together????????! I NEED THEM
⤷ user45: so iconic need to marry asap
── .✦
It was the day. The day you were back to media duties. Back to being a target for social media. Back supporting your boyfriend no matter what. You even went on media day to be there for him if he needed it. You chatted with everyone around to entertain yourself while he was doing interviews.
Oscar helped a lot and the whole McLaren team to make Lando feel safe and actually enjoy the weekend. You Were grateful for it. At least they decided not to be dicks in front of his face.
Fp1 was about to start and you were proudly there in the garage to cheer on him. You were also anxious because you felt things almost like him and this competition is rather never racking. You kissed him gently but shortly. A good luck kiss before getting into the car. He smiled widely.
“Go be the best you can be. You’re great” you told him sweetly.
“I'll try my best to impress you,” he replied, letting go of your hand.
“You already do everyday babe” you said smiling making him grin before walking into the car to start the first session of the weekend.
You watched from there how fp1 unfolded hoping this would be a great weekend.
── .✦ FIN
Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!
#lando x reader#lando#lando x y/n#lando x you#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris#ln4 x reader#ln4#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1
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I've seen a couple of headcannons about Maria surviving somehow and seemingly ending up being a good person. I don't think that would be the case, tho hear me out
I don't think Maria would have ended up being a good person, but Maria would have grown up to be as bad or even worse than eggman in...different ways to the point it makes,gerald with the new information given is obviously has alot of darkness alot...he wasn't a good person that's what I am saying,like who takes their grandchildren pet experiments on it and leaves it to rot because it ended up being a failure? Guess what bio lizard that's some fuck up shit
Everyone talks as if...he was a good man he was likely never a good person. People always talk good about the dead, always forgetting whatever evil stuff they've done in the past conveniently , he most likely never was one to begin with and he hid more horrible secrets somewhere deep within the ark,the ark is a massive place we only had a glimpse of a certain section on it where shadow was created. A likely sealed off section due to its history,the place is the size of a moon/small by what I can tell, and also he likely has other secrets before that outside of the ark ,on earth maybe on mobious during his brief travels down there
A robotnik always growing up on being a robotnik
The only reason shadow having ended up being a good person...was due to the naive promises of a sick child who likely have barely experienced the world and didn't grow to eventually become the monster that alot of the robotnik family ends up being,what if...she was already developing those tendencies under gerald and shadow being naive never even noticed
What if this is cannon, and we've been just oh nice human child and experiment buddy running around having fun being nice
When budding an absolute sick little monster brat, a big ol monster mostly deceives everyone and poor innocent experiment fooled by the happy times.
If yall gonna make maria survive the ark Give me a old Maria who at first acts nice on first meeting shadow then it slowly unravels SHES A FUCKING MONSTER to the point that eggman pretends she doesn't exist because he's terrified of her and actually knew she was around and he didn't say anything because he knew how she is ,and Eggman EGGMAN didn't wish her upon his enemies like AT ALL he never said anything about them pretending he never knew gerald or Maria as to not mess up shadow even more than he already is ,gerald and Maria weren't the nicest robotnik family members no EGGMAN IS and that's saying alot ,it spins a whole other meaning of gerald and Maria being the black sheep of the family , most see the black sheep as being the nicest person pretty much abused n shit in a family of assholes , but in the robotnik they are the worse of the worse of an already fucked up family
Actually... this is my au Maria. Well, who she had been if she survived the ark,a monster in human skin metaphorically speaking tho she died, she had been already showing signs of the monster she would have become.
Fate never speaks ill of the dead, but she makes very few exceptions, but she never speaks of this to shadow, but now that he's better and gotten over, he's been slowly learning the truth about that family to the point that it's making him ill having robotnik in his own name
When fate and shadow eventually do get married, the shadow decides to take fates, the family name replacing the robotnik in his own, signifying that he's both truly moved on and never wants to ever be associated with that family again and the rose colored glasses on those memories are gone
#my thoughts#what if#headcannons#fated shadows au#fated shadows#fated shadows maria#fated shadows shadow#fated shadows fate#my art#my au#sonic au#my oc#sonic oc#my post#sonic#fate the artic fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sth au#sth fandom#sth#sth oc#sonic fandom#my headcanons#shadow the ultimate lifeform
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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watching the beginning of season 1 spn is so weird like this is such a different show than what spn would eventually become. like it’s so dark and serious and every episode is a monster of the week and dean and sam barely know each other at all and they havent done awful things or died for each other yet and theyve got no one but each other and they barely know anything about the monsters they hunt let alone angels and the devil and god and they just have no idea that their lives are about to get so much worse and that they’ll want to give up but they wont, they’ll sacrifice everything for the world and each other and i just watch these episodes and think they’ve got no idea what’s coming
#man really getting in my s1 feels this morning#it’s just such a different show than what it would eventually become and i love it but also i wouldnt love it so much if it hadnt evolved#into what it became in the later seasons!#they’re just such babies and i wanna protect them from what’s to come#but also i want to tell them that even tho it get’s worse it gets better too like you’ll fall in love and have a family and one day you’ll#be happy i promise!!#spn#jenna.post
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake
#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH#also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl#how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break#thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo#HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance#but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart#it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends#odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway#yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh#also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the#persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway#i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was#basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them#and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok#im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE#oops it was nothing#....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway#also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real#my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige#three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp#......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF#my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like#treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting
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thinking of. jae seeing her relationship with the rogue trader in terms of power. as a mutually beneficial business transaction. she spent all her life with people constantly holding power over her -- what makes this one, a veritable rogue trader, any different?
and even after the rogue trader finds out the truth, possibly encouraging her to be her "true self", jae pushes them and that idea away. because the idea that this world would accept her as she is, is more like a naive fairy tale to her. because that's not how the world works! if it was then she shouldn't have needed to do the things she did to get to where she is now.
and now she refuses to be naked and vulnerable with the rogue trader again because with this truth, they truly hold immense power over her like no one else had in probably a very long time.
#.txt#and the fact that she had no plans of ever telling them the truth. if it weren't for commorragh.#god. let's end it all right fucking now#is anyone surprised i latch on to the character with a charming facade? no?#i still havent finished the game shush but jae trying to break up with rt broke my heart 😭😭😭#it would've been so much worse btw if she also returned the dress rt gave her. which is my headcanon that she did#idk what ending she'll get with isolde tbh. i kinda cheated a bit with toybox bc i want them to be happy 😭#even tho realistically with both their track records it wouldn't last.
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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her
#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me#and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front#always always bowl me over#like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time#like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that#when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair#but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard#so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's#even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with#bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc#i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum#BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart#like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me#it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE#and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry#and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls#that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good#and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her#that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension#and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone#but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her#i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me#but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her#girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH#hella goes home
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i want ike to be in three houses
for science
#DCB RD Run#y'all know what i'm talking abt if u follow me lmao#ike rly does say all the most perfect shit but most ppl don't even get to see it these days#bc intsys won't make the games accessible and they cost hundreds of dollars for a used copy jfhsagjdg#BUT ALSO this line? REALLY fuckin wish they said to zelgius too with someone anyone even if it wasn't ike#would've been really awesome tho for it to be ike who said it so that zelgius couldn't uwu my teacher his way out of being a villain#what is it with them making ppl be like uwu my teacher and that suddenly make them not a villain fhajgdgsj#like WHERE WAS THIS LINE WHEN IN REBIRTH 2#we had tibarn with us! ranulf! shinon! oscar! SOMEONE could've said it!!!#hecky schemcky if OSCAR said it? that would be like DAMN u fucked UP tho#if OSCAR couldn't forgive you for something? d a m n sonny that one would cut d e e p#but also?! shinon! being calm about it! and just telling him outright! look! nah! you did all that shit! and now you want to uwu us to death#nah! what you did was unforgiveable and you kept doing unforgiveable things!#i mean come on there's a line out the door of ppl who wanted to get or deserved to get revenge on that guy#YES I HAD TO LET IT OUT AGAIN I'M STILL MAD THAT SEPH GOT THE WHOLE NO U DID BAD#BUT ZELGIUS DID ARGUABLY WORSE BC HE DIDN'T DO IT AFTER LOSING HIS ENTIRE FUCKING MIND#AND HAVING HIS ENTIRE FAMILY SLAIN AND HIS FOREST HOME BURNT TO DEATH#LIKE. COME ON. SEPH AT LEAST HAS A LEGIT REASON TO HAVE LOST HIS MIND BUT ZELG?#siiiiiiiiigh. anyway put ike in three houses so he can teach all the dumb stans how to be a proper mc#yeah that's right i said it A PROPER MC#blorbo is in the corner hiding bc he doesn't like these tags. see his bow? see it? it's poking into the pic#ALSO HOW COME REYSON DOESN'T GET ANY LINES WITH SEPH ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENED POST BATTLE#this post has gone in three entirely different directions in the tags good for me good for me
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.
#one thing that has remained consistent throughout my entire life#is that everyone and i mean EVERYONE assumes i am an avid reader#my classmates teachers friends family tumblrmutuals#everyone#and when i tell them i dont they get soooooo confused#(ngl ill read anything except for fiction 💀💀💀 i just physically cannot)#i never had the patience for long books and then my writing DEGREE kinda made things worse and now i cannot read for pleasure like before#ive probably barely finished 20 novels in my entire life sry to disappoint#the one assigned novel i actually enjoyed in hs tho was the handmaids tale ->#(i read more than was assigned each week AND this was before the tv series was even announced)#i did read some books when my fav hs english teacher had d.e.a.r. for like 15-20 mins in the beginning of every class everyday ->#(Drop Everything And Read)#i also dont rly read selfhelp books (as much as everyone in my life rly wants me to <33333) bc ->#i dont trust a random stranger to tell me what to do#idk u#for all i know u could be a horrible person in secret ??!?#i have more opinions on reading but ill stop it here#oh also yes i consider myself a writer in MANY mediums (just not traditional novel-style fiction)#mehrtalks
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What do you mean only Kai can experience parentification??
I'm gonna give Jay so much- *gets shot*
#been having thoughts of like#libber kept Jay and moved back home#but Libber has terrible ptsd and depression and even though she tries really hard#jay somrtimes has to take care of her#but like then she meers a guy whos good and libber gets the support she needs#and she ends up having a second kid#that triggers her to have terrible post partum depression#thats last for almost a year and it strains the relationship#to the point that the guy takes their son and leaves cause hes worried she cant take care of him#leaving libber even worse#and this whole time jays just trying to keep everythi g together#but everything is falling apart and he just wants his mom to smile again so he tries his best to help her#and then she does after a really hard year she and her ex talk things out and they sont get back together but they have joint custody of#their son and libbers an attentive mom to both her sons again#but Jay's always so worried that this might happen again that he doesnt tell her anything that might distress her#and hates his ex step dad so much#and he also gets his lightning powers early cayse he knows that they are a trigger for libber so he convinces her to pass them onto him#early and hes just so worried y'all#he loves his lil bro tho#hdusgus I dhud#have so many thoughts guys#so many thought#jay is so worried yall giving this child so much stress
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was feeling better i have to listen to people talk today and now i want to throw up or throttle someone ans i cant decide which but i miss being able to just Do Stuff without pain getting in my way
#i thought i was mostly over the bad thoughts#but alas#im still not in the wrong but its still bothering me and the fact i camt watching anything soft and gentle and me right now#because of the emotional dip#is making me feel worse#i miss watching stuff like sister boniface but idk i feel too worn out for that stuff and im so happy its november#but eberything is difficult and i miss people seeing me as soft and good but i feel ugly and like thats taken away from that#not that i interact with people much anyway to begin with#but i miss walkinf and wandering the woods with my dogs and i miss my big dog too#but i cant walk anymore and no one in my immediate life cares enough to help me get out and i feel too self conscious to go out anyway#i flared up in the last week of october but it hasnt settled and im scared this is the new normal for me#it hurts so much and it hurts my heart almost as much#i just want to have a bath and lay down on the couch and watch slashers with someone#but i have no one and i think it might actually be killing me and i dont deserve this#ans i dont deserve to be feeling bad because a group of delusional fuckers harassed me in the summer and screenshotted mw telling a#transphobe to die without the context of them being a transphobe#and thos people are not blocked and the post that started it i think doesnt even exist anymore but yeahtheu were not only assholes but idiot#so WHY DO I STILL FEEL BAD ABOUT IT I DONT DESERVE TO. FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT I GUESS YOU IMMATURE BRATS#i dont have a lot going on in my life especially the last three years so its even harder to block it out and erase it ans remember just#because i can be harsh doesnt mean im a bad person or not caring or gentle#i do got teeth and know how to use them but im senstive#otherwise this shit wouldnt bother me but im also just in a bad position in life and it doesnt help at all#and i miss my friend whos on night shifts and cant talk as much now#i just want to go back to sleep until its all okay cause nothing has ever been okay
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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vent in the tags
#truly astounding how my grandma was like: walking so much in your first job toughened you up like no it did not u idiot#i was so overworked and depressed and miserable. i had frequent panic attacks about going out.#im also not like her or my parents or anyone in the sense that everything is much harder for me because im audhd#even if i wasnt its just the pain i was and am feeling is very real#u can cure fatigue by walking and going outside like are u fucking serious 😭 the point is that my body is so tired it cant move#*cant#moving makes it worse#how often do i have to tell them (my family) that#i thought my grandma would understand bc of her illnesses but she has srthritis and stuff ehich does get better from moving#fatigue is very different tho (!!)#and i now realised after all this that ive struggled with fatigue my whole life. more or less. and when i worked at my first job i was#burning myself out after already having had a burnout at school before.#like im literally disabled idk why im even having a discussion about this. its not the same thing.#do they think i dont want to go outside in the summer????#im not fuvking lazy !! they need to stop thinking they know what its like for me. its not. like i have to rest after half a day of uni bc#its legit SOOO exhausting to socialise for me. the only reason i can do most things in a day and have the enrrgy for them is because i take#amphetamines for my adhd. like stop thinking that we are the same and that i can just do shit without it having a consequence for my energy#levels. im a spoonie#if theres no spoons i have to lie in bed for 2 hours until i can get up again to do sth to keep myself fed and needs met#like audhd disables me so much ON TOP OF the fatigue i accumulatef from burnout over the years AND this most recent post viral fatigue#god i was yapping so much here im sorry 😭🫶#personal#sage posting
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Thinking abt my dupe ocs again, and I'm returning to my cringe fail silly ones who exist solely for me to have fun. Basically one of the colonies is sort of a lil experimental ground dupe wise where most of the dupes get to have some fun critter biology meshed in there, with most of them being fairly stable, but a few of them having a bit of a harder time for some reason or another. Such as having no bones and the most fragile skin known to dupe kind.
#rat rambles#oni posting#this colonies ada is the no bones guy shes mixed with a void bug#she actually is able to function mostly just fine its just that she has to be like super careful all the time#it doesn't help that her insides are mostly just foamy goo so the colony doctor doesn't rly know how to treat her wounds#on the bright side shes extremely light and can jump onto other dupes shoulders for fun#she cant fly tho very sad#even if she was the lightest thing in the world her wings are on the back of her head and arent as flexible as an actual shine bugs wings#she mostly uses them to gesture with like an extra pair of arms#and to paint with since shes also an artist#she's passionate abt her art but shes also super passionate abt being an engineer and a lot of her art ties back to that#mostly because she was printed only abt a month before the pod went offline so after that her fellow dupes became a lot more protective of#her since they felt that if smth went wrong now they wouldnt know how to help her#this frustrates her a Lot especially since prior to this she was mostly left to figure out how to manage this stuff by herself#she ends up tinkering in private when no one is around since she has a lot of ideas and wants to try making them#one of her biggest goals is to find a way to fly or glide without jetpacks since she's convinced she could find a way to#if she can be knocked off her feet by a light breeze then she can totally find a way to stay in the air longer shes sure of it#in the meantime the rest of the critter squad are trying to convince liam to not eat sand because itll just make his sensitive tummy worse#he knows this conceptually but his heart tells him that he ate a meal and started to feel sick so its clearly poisoned and the cook is#sick or trying to poison him and hes going to die if he keeps eating food from the fridge and so he must eat sand#unfortunately this is a fairly common anxiety of his since his stomach rly can only half handle anything ever#I imagine he and ada have a complicated relationship as while they do get along one of them has violent anxiety and the other is fragile as#hell but hates being babied so ada often avoids liam to his dismay
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💢 //
#having to put up an argument w parents just to be allowed more freedom bc of them being overly sheltering & restrictive of where i go is.#its so exhausting that i literally am not allowed to go anywhere w/o them hovering over me or so on#not even allowed to go for walks solo in my own apartment complex at any time of day because they’re THAT overly sheltering#legit if i wanna go for a walk i HAVE to go w one of my own parents yet sometimes i LITERALLY WANNA GET A W A Y FROM THEM#WHICH IS THE POINT OF THE WALK. GET AWAY FROM THEM & THE HOUSE & YET. THEY FORCE ME TO HAVE TO WALK W ONE OF EM. or worse both.#im glad that the circumstances left it to where they HAVE no choice & HAVE to let me go w whatever is ‘more favorable’ for them except it#isnt favorable at all for em its just ‘which freedom would we rather allow you to have’#but neither option is one they wanna give me i can tell. just a matter of which they let me have.#imagine constantly anytime you wanna go out w/o em somewhere your parents whip out a whole ass talk abt how there’s robberies/crime/danger#& how its too dangerous to go out & do x or y thing#i literally cant even go walk in my own neighborhood w/o that kinda immediate commentary or them bringing up just#the most recent crimes that happened to enforce this whole reasoning why i shouldnt be allowed out#even tho im. what. fucking 27??? sucks that i have chronic illness bc ik thats what gives em so much leverage over me#not even gonna comment abt them using my disabilities against me as a way to keep me hostage#i will call it keeping me hostage bc they’ve never let me have freedom at all#even when i was in uni on campus i was expected to contact em constantly & them expecting i go home v often & shit & since im kinda.#@ their mercy a lot it was not much of a say i had in the matter esp bc i came down w health issues around then so? yeah#i wont get too much further into this bc i can say. a lot abt how obsessively overprotective they are but.#regardless.#ishtar rambles ;#ngl its this reason along w other shit thats why im afraid of what’ll happen once i FINALLY have the funds & resources to move out#which i can! also get into that!#but. another topic another time.#not even also gonna get into their backhanded ‘yknow what let them do what they want#’let them go & learn their lesson’ like excuse me???#they want me to have a bad exp so they can say ‘i told you so’ ik it. i know this bc theyve done it before#& then used it as justification to tighten the leash on me
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