#fatigue is very different tho (!!)

[neonvqmpire]

vent in the tags

[signanothername]

So, kinda knew this would come up sooner or later, but i need to make one thing very clear

If you send me an ask, please don’t push/rush me to answer it, this is a red line for me, meaning if you do rush me, it’ll be an immediate block, i will not tolerate or entertain it

I try to be as gentle as possible and i try to give people the benefit of the doubt and think of a million reasons/excuses to pardon who do me wrong, even tho I frankly think that I don’t have to

But just like everyone else, i’m a human being, I try to answer asks as fast as humanly possible when i run a daily blog, another social media account, have a life outside my online one with responsibilities and work, keep up with people’s messages, all while dealing with moderate chronic pain and fatigue

This is how many asks i have in my inbox right now, and every time i answer one i get +3 more

I’m not saying I hate it, It puts a smile on my face when I receive asks, and you’re absolutely welcome to send me as many as you want, cause Tumblr is extremely convenient and believe me, if I ever get too overwhelmed I can simply just close my inbox, it’s not that big of a deal

What I’m trying to say is that i have so many different asks, MOST of which would need a big ramble (and words are extremely difficult for me) or which I plan to include art with, which, if it didn’t click with you already, means that I need TIME to answer it

Even if it takes me months or even years, I’ll eventually answer your ask (as long as it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, which so far none have, thank you for being wonderful <3333)

All that I wish of you guys is patience, if not, then I don’t have to be patient either and will simply use the very convenient block button at my disposal

[yuzuyoon]

can you explain more about jimin's vocals sounding different? i noticed something but i know nothing about singing 😭😭 he said that he had been taking singing classes for 2.5 months tho

Ofc I can explain. I'm not very good at explaining things and I tend to trail off into tangents, so just bear with me for this. 

To understand how his vocals have changed, we have to look back on his old vocals and what made them “bad” compared to today. I'm sure you’ve unfortunately seen the clip all the antis use to drag jimin from the fake love performance with charlie puth. I hate the clip because Jimin seemed super tired and sick, but it is regretfully the best clip to show the difference between then and now. In the clip, he sings his lines, but they’re super shaky and it just doesn't sound good. You can hear that he sounds tired. His vocals lack control and stability and pitch. It’s just not good. 

Now this doesn’t mean Jimin was a bad singer. Jimin has never actually been a bad singer, but he did use some techniques that put a lot of strain on his vocals. This on top of bts’s crazy schedules at the time meant Jimin's voice was getting overworked. It led to his voice sounding quite tired at times and fatigue in general, manifesting in sore throats, losing his voice, voice cracks and even getting sick, like the fake love performance. if you wanna kinda feel what i'm describing, just try and belt incredibly high notes for 5 minutes straight very loudly and see how your voice feels after. I mean, you can just yell for 5 minutes straight too. it's exaggerated, but your voice becomes super tired and raspy after it and trying to sing nicely after it is super hard and your voice is super shaky after it. 

In the minimoni music episode, jimin mentioned how he needs to learn balance between his new and old techniques and said to sing older songs, he sings forward and up in his head, near his nose. Generally, when belting high notes, you want to aim for the power behind it coming from your diaphragm and your abdomen. Jimin saying that's where he sang makes me think he hit all those bts high notes by tightening his vocal cords to hit high notes. This is not good technique if you want to produce healthy sounds. When you watch him sing you can tell it takes a lot of effort to reach and sustain the note. The high tone he has is beautiful but his producers assumed high tone = the capability to belt high notes.

Jimin's voice sounded best when he would use falsetto and head voice. when he would use chest or mix it could sound a bit shaky and weak. this and his vibrato was inconstant and shaky as well. Sometimes these problems would completely disappear, but that’s not a good thing at the core because it meant he lacked consistency to continue with good technique. These are the main things that I notice a difference in. The key word for Jimin's old technique would be "tight.” If there’s anything i’d want you to focus on it’s listening to how high and tight jimin’s vocals used to sound. They sounded thin. It lacked the depth it needed to thrive. 

So what’s the difference now? Well if i described jimin’s old vocals as tight, high, and thin, I would describe his new technique as open, deep, and resonant. I’ll have to find some clips to show the difference side by side. 

he's not tightening his vocal cords to produce higher notes. if there is a note that's very high, he leans more towards a mix voice (head voice and chest voice) to produce a sound that can sound like belting without actually belting and puts breath support behind it to really push the resonance or he goes straight head voice. He’s not trying to hit challenging notes by pushing himself and hurting his voice anymore. he's pulling the weight of singing from lower down now for those more middle to lower notes and then leaning more into a mix for those higher notes. you can start to hear the difference back in the like crazy jazz version. He skips the highest notes to catch his breath and his voice sits more at the back of his throat instead of up in his nose making a lovely sound. I know to make the difference happen in my own voice but i don't know how to explain it, so you’ll have to try to sing the difference for yourself?

Jimin saying that he knew his technique would hurt his voice really was the confirming detail for me. We knew he was never satisfied with his vocals, but we never saw him outright say he knew how he was singing was wrong. I think the lack of vocal lessons back then was probably from their insane schedule and simply just a lack of time to get them done. No time to do vocal lessons meant that their schedule was packed to the point of overwork, which is another reason he was sounding off at that time. With the huge break bts got to work on solo stuff, there was so much more room for lessons, and i'm glad he took the opportunity because now he sounds amazing!! All these differences aside, Jimin still sounds like Jimin, and that’s the most important part

here's a little comparison video so you can try to hear the difference

I explained the fake love clip already, but when you listen to the who clip, you can tell he’s singing from a deeper spot and he’s really pulling strength from his breathing. Those higher notes are actually easier to sing when you use a “deeper” sounding tone. (and earlier in the clip when he sings the pre-chorus the final phrase sounds so crisp and clear an resonant and i basically swoon each time i listen to it)

[unfriedough]

HIII

ok so I know it says you do fem but r u also able to do gender neutral? If not, it’s ok!!

Anyways

Hcs of Zuko w a S/O who’s like, blunt as hell, and doesn’t rlly express emotions a big majority of the time lmao

‘Taken’- Zuko x female!reader

Masterlist <3

An: JASMIN DISAPPEARING FOR ANOTHER FEW MONTH?? Why’re you surprised?

Also, this isn’t gender neutral. I know you asked for it but I said on the guidelines that I’m only writing female :( I didn’t wanna blow off the whole request tho

Summary: hc’s of zuko and you being falling for each other - but both of you such at love.

Warnings: reader was meant to be blunt but idk how to be blunt.

A shrug.

That was all Aang got when he asked for your opinion on Zuko’s joining of the team.

(“Couldn't care less,” you said when questioned about it later, on the soft beach of ember island)

Truly, it didn’t make a difference to you

Yes he was needed - firebender and all - but it’s not like he’ll be teaching you right?

Wrong.

Turns out you can learn loads from just different fighting styles and stuff, and you were intrigued in the foreign moves

Zuko would 100% get worse at what he was doing under your scrutinising gaze.

I mean that's how he interpreted it

Really there was no emotion

The firebender definitely asked you about why you were watching - took much courage though (poor boy)

“You’re good at what you do.” you paused, “Sometimes,”

“Sometimes?” he rubbed his neck, confused.

“Yeah, sometimes I’m surprised a twelve year old beat you that easily,”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

“You think you’re better than me?”

You cocked your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows, “I think we both know the answer to that,”

So that’s why you're now in this position.

Zuko’s pinned under you, arms immobile, heaving heavily

“Fine! I surrender!”

“No, I won,” you said, getting up and dusting your clothes.

“Whatever,” he walked away

That very night, Zuko laid awake in his hard bed space, thoughts of you plaguing his mind. He replayed the spar like a thrilling movie, his heartbeat soaring as he recalls just how close you were to him.

He didn’t like the feeling rising in his heart, it felt like it was bursting. He placed pale, slender fingers onto the centre of his chest sighing heavily to attempt to rid himself of this awful feeling.

“You’re breathing too loud,” you whispered, careful not to wake other people in the room.

“What do you want me to do?” he frowned, sitting up, and matching the intensity of your glare.

“Breath like a normal person, not like a fish just discovering oxygen,”

Nothing better to describe his face than this: ._.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” he whispered back, confused.

“Good night Zuko,”

He grinned, “It was funny,”

“GOOD NIGHT ZUKO” you whisper shouted.

You assumed he would relent, but the sleep deprivation mixed with the high of having a small (huge) crush gave him the confidence to talk to you just a little longer.

“Do you wanna fight me?”

“With the intention to knock you out? Sure.”

And now you’re both outside, and I guess he had the upper hand. 

He wasn’t tired, and you were exhausted

Your muscles were fatigued, but you weren’t going to back down

After an embarrassingly short rematch, you’d found that Zuko had beat you, and you laid defenceless.

“I win,” he mocked, getting up.

“Did you really?”

He whipped his head back around, any faster would’ve given him whiplash, “Um? Yes?”

“Are you sure?” 

“YES!?”

“Okay then, whatever you say,”

You rolled onto the sandy area, spreading your limbs with a heavy sigh.

Zuko looked up slowly at the sky, hesitantly nearing your resting body.

“I don’t bite prince,” you rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn't take your word for it,” he giggled.

You simply looked at him, not a glare though, or a smile or smirk or scowl or anything.

You seemed to be thinking about something, an internal war. On one hand, you wanted to reach out to him, pull him closer to you, tell him how you felt. And on the other, you didn’t want to. It was too mushy and feely for your character, you felt embarrassed you even thought about it. You looked away promptly, unable to conceal the frown on your features.

“You okay?” he asked, worry laced in his words.

“Sand’s not comfortable, it’s gonna give me a headache,” that wasn't a lie, it was disgustingly hard to get comfortable when laying on bare sand.

Zuko gathered up whatever confidence he had left, and scooted so he was sat criss-cross above where your head rested.

He gave a dopey smile, before opening his mouth to say something. You looked upwards at him, his grin contagious, contaminating your annoyed features.

“You could lay your head on my lap?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you scooted up, carefully rested your head onto his body, a look on your face.

And after a little more staring, he came to realise what it was,

You were shy

All the signs pointed to it; your averting gaze, fidgeting fingers, feet working antagonistically from point to flat (like when you point your feet and then like put them how you stand idk how to describe it ), and your quickened breathing.

He leaned down slightly, his nose practically touching yours.

“Hi,” you breathed out, fighting the urge to look at his lips.

Who gave him this confidence ??????????

Sleep deprivation that's what

“Hi,” 

You reached your fingers into his hair, slightly tugging down at him, trying to infer what your words failed to tell.

His eyes glistened with adoration, before fluttering shut as he contacted your lips.

The firebender’s lips were cut, you assumed maybe he did that, a stress coping mechanism you’d frequently told him to quit

When the kiss broke, neither of you moved.

You stayed on that beach the whole night - eventually even falling asleep.

You on his lap, and him lying down uncomfortable in order to keep your head comfy on his lap

Zuko woke up before you, rubbing his eyes as Katara came into view

She had been on a stroll, with the intention to swim, when she came across the scene

She’d never seen you look so soft, or Zuko look so tender

Her eyebrows flew up as she made eye contact with the boy, eyes snapping between your curled up figure and his sandy-hair covered face

Then furrowed again as she clocked in the scene

Zuko’s face glowed red as he realised Katara saw this, and even more so when he felt you shift, burying your head in his knee area to avoid the light of the scorching fire nation sun, a quiet groan leaving your lips.

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of the firebender’s mouth as he watched you intently, a blurry emotion behind his irises.

“Can I ask: what?” She whispered, eyes blown wide.

Her voice, albeit quiet, brought you out of your trance.

You yawned, spreading your limbs then covering your face from the sun.

Suddenly, you gained enough consciousness to acknowledge your surroundings, and you quickly opened your eyes, despite the blinding light.

A gasp left your lip as you sat up, making eye contact with the flushed fire bender.

“Good morning?”

“Hi.”

You said at the same time, an awkward silence over taking.

Your eyes suddenly followed a sound of shuffling - only to see katara standing there looking rather out of place.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hello,” you replied, embarrassed.

“I’m just gonna-“ she pointed off to the side, before basically running away.

You both watched her leave, then turned to look at eachother.

The fire bender was dazed in the view of you, the way your eyes twinkled, and your lips remained pouted.

But the way that your face was illuminated, despite not even facing the sun, you looked straight out of a movie.

He was so entranced, that zuko was convinced that if the moon was to see you - it would be jealous of your effortless beauty.

You, on the other hand, were about to slap him for staring.

You tilted your head to the side, so confused that a question mark could’ve popped up above your head.

Immediately he looked away, attempting to rid the feeling of his heart in his throat.

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to stare? 

Bye he was so embarrassed

“Shut up.”

You narrowed your eyes, pushing him onto the sand so that he was under you,

“And what if I don’t?” You leaned in, whispering.

His heart was running laps, his mind equally pacing.

“Hm? What would you do?”

He sat quietly, eyes wide, as he took in the proximity. Your lips just looked so…

Hey is it just you or is he about to kiss you?

It’s not just you because he did!

It was a sweet, long lasting, testing the waters type of kiss

And that’s basically how you started dating 

Did I or did I not get carried away?

Anyways now that you're dating !!!

Being his S/O was definitely something you could get used to

Zuko is absolutely the type of guy to give you constant princess treatment

He’d act like you’re already married - at this point you’re just missing the ring

He always made it a point to make sure you were fed and hydrated, warm too

Maybe he’d abuse that warmth power a little

You’d be lying in the same tent and he’d be like “Come closer you’re cold,”

“Zuko im room temperature im not cold,”

“No You’re cold come here,”

“Just say you want a hug,”

“Shut up,”

He tugged you closer so you laid against his chest unable to see his face - probably cuz he was redder than his tunic.

It was all the tiny things he did that get you really comfortable being affectionate

Even though he himself was shy, he knew he had to be the one initiating touch

Another instance is when you go eat - he'll ensure he sat closest to you, and always brush hands with you when passing you your bowl. Of course he thought he was slick when he would sit close enough so your knees touched - but you noticed.

You noticed but you didn’t tell him you noticed, you knew he’d be embarrassed if caught red handed.

As someone who felt like he was never enough, physical affection was something that really made an impact on him

Something as simple as tracing his scars with gentle fingers, or rubbing his arm soothingly after a particularly rough day

Although your words couldn’t convey how you felt, you weren’t raised to be touchy feely, you knew he understood what you meant

He could hear the words of affirmation even while you slept, he could feel the comfort radiating off of your curled body in his tent

He knew you felt comfortable around him, and that alone was a great achievement in his mind

Zuko was used to coming off as gruff and mean, but you know it was a facade - a coping mechanism

You knew he was the same thirteen year old mommy’s boy that he was years ago

These hc’s are so long 😨

You always made it a point to treat him gently - despite being such a blunt person

You found yourself holding your tongue more often, being nicer to people around you because you got used to only having compliments for Zuko.

Maybe, you’d even try to put your affections into words - and although not formulating like you wanted, with fumbling words and fidgeting hands - the thought was what counted

He knew being super fluffy was a struggle for you, and that you were trying your best to be your best for him

He could see your effort - and you could see his.

The gang definitely saw you as a weird pair at the start

They found out once they saw Zuko laughing, hiding his face and you smirked at him.

Your hands rested on his torso as you willed him to take you seriously

You just said he looked nice when he trained - you both know what you meant

His shirt was clinging to his skin and his hair stuck to his face - my man was just out of a movie scene.

After the gang had long dispersed, you spoke your mind.

This brought the shyness out 

Unfortunately, it was Aang who saw the interaction

“Zuko? YN? What’s so funny?”

When the rest of your friends heard Zuko, YN, AND FUNNY in the same sentence, they peeked.

“Nothing,” Zuko mumbled, his ears tinting.

You flinched your hand away from him, coughing awkwardly.

“Wait a minute,” Sokka narrowed his eyes at you.

“Why’re you guys on the floor?” Toph asked.

Zuko lifted his head, looking at you with panic, you returned just the same

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I don’t know..”

The prince looked to you for help, only to find you trying to hold back a laugh. 

Your lips tucked inwards and eyes pointed downwards.

He looked forward again, side eyeing you so aggressively.

“What am I watching?” Sokka asked quietly.

“I wouldn’t know,” toph mumbled.

You were laughing as Katara seemed so puzzled, and yet so sure of what her discovery could mean.

“Wait a minute,”

“Well that’s my cue!” you got up abruptly, dusting your clothing before practically beelining to the house.

The group was left staring at Zuko, who was on the verge of burning you alive

Eventually they got it out of him

Jk they got it out of katara

“Wait, what were you gonna say?” Aang asked katara.

“I was just gonna ask about that one time  she was asleep on his lap,”

Zuko looked like he was contemplating drowning himself

“SHE WHAT”

“Yeah on the beach before… like two days ago,” she paused, “What was that about?”

“Umm, she was sleepy?”

“Why didn’t you sleep in a room then?”

“…Fresh air.”

“Fresh air?”

“Fresh air. Mhm”

“And what about when you kissed?” Toph added.

She was blind, but she knew how to sandbend.

It just so happened that that night seemed to be a sleepless night all around, the young earth bender was perched on a small chair, where her feet could touch natural ground so she could experience the surroundings.

(Or because she wanted to know what you and Zuko were doing, she’s blind not deaf)

“W H A T” sokka yelled, everyone staring blankly at Toph.

“Yeah, two days ago, this very beach, sparring in the middle of the night… ring a bell Zuko?”

“Not at all.” He stood his ground.

“Cut the crap,” Suki giggled, “it’s obvious!”

“What’s obvious?” He played stupid.

“Tha-“ suki was cut off by the dramatic show Sokka was about to put on.

“Oh YN! You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met!” He twirled, “I just wanna-“ he made a loud kiss noise.

The gang erupted into laughter, mainly because of the poor fire boy's reaction. His face was not only red, no, his eyes were wide, his mouth agape.

He dropped his head into his hands and groaned.

“I think that’s enough teasing,” katara giggled.

Aang and her went off to go do- whatever they do.

Suki, sokka and toph remained. As they were busy laughing, 

You overheard what he said as you were just around the corner, and decided to take a jab at his previous theatrics.

You walked up to them from behind, kicking sokka’s knees inwards.

He yelped as he fell to the ground, immediately looking up to the source.

You towered over him, the ghost of a smile on your face.

You paused, a rare smirk making an appearance on your face.

“I’m flattered, but unfortunately I’m not single,” 

An: I’d like to imagine chaos would start here

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I got some assorted headcanons for Nightmare's henchmen because I've been thinking about how many chronic issues those guys are bound to have non-stop lately...

Killer:

He doesn't take care of himself properly, even after he starts taking care of the others. Meaning my guy is most likely gonna have some issues with chronic dehydration, which, in my experience, leads to "fun" things like: long-term and short-term memory issues, struggles with focus, difficulties regulating emotions (meaning, the longer this goes on the more often he might flip between different stages), difficulties sleeping, frequent headaches, chronic fatigue, dizziness and vision blacking out when he gets up from a sitting position, and joint pains.

Being dehydrated also generally makes pre-existent mental issues worse. So the struggles with guilt, self-hatred and all that stuff that is very present at Stage 1 are probably all accentuated by his lack of proper self-care.

Horror:

His skull and empty eye socket both cause him pain often. Especially with switches in temperature or humidity. Because of the positioning of those wounds, that often leads to debilitating headaches and often teeth pain too. He pulls on his bones to try and alleviate the pain because the pressure does help in the moment, but the strain he puts on them always leaves him far more sore after.

The years of starvation also left his bones far more brittle and prone to breakage. He's gonna be extra careful even while doing things like getting out of the shower or sitting down. He would benefit from getting braces and several different kinds of mobility aids, but it's not like he's got access to any of that either in his world or at the castle, so he learns to make do without.

Dust:

Because he's got a high LV and yet his soul is still inside of his body, he experiences a lot of side effects from that. Things like: chest pains, frequent headaches, auditory and visual hallucinations, memory problems, frequent blackouts, disorientation, and bone fragility (though, unlike Horror, his bones aren't more prone to breaking, they're more prone to dusting).

The thin layer of dust that constantly covers his bones causes frequent rashes and irritation. It's not unusual to see red blotches on his bones. Massaging his bones with oil or cremes would help relieve some of his discomfort and I'm sure that Killer does his best to find and steal some for him, but their resources are still limited and his access to it is only temporary. Also, that scarf he always wears doesn't help, what with it being covered in dust. And having his hood always up doesn't help either, since fabric rubbing against his already sensitive and irritated bones is probably Hell. Wearing some lighter and breezy clothing would do wonders for him. (Yes, this is part of my propaganda to put all my faves in pretty dresses. It would look cute and it makes sense, I swear).

Cross:

Old badly healed fractures from his time in the military probably cause him a lot of general pain he's grown used to in the years. But, by far, the worst of his problems come from his and XChara's unusual soul situation. Sharing a soul cannot be easy, and it probably leads to a great deal of disorientation and confusion around their memories and identities.

Not knowing where one ends and the other begins makes social interactions with outsiders to their bond rather difficult. It most likely led Cross to develop a great deal of social anxiety which is why he often tends to isolate himself and suppress most of his emotions. Truly, he tries to minimize the amount of meaningful social interactions he gets because the panic attacks afterward are just not worth it

All skeletons should immediately be put in loose pretty dresses /hj

But honestly I love these very much, they seem very probable. And I can honestly relate to Killer’s dehydration and Horror’s teeth problems, those things suck. (For me tho it’s often because water is a boring drink.)

Also do you think that whenever Killer decides to take the others on his responsibility, does he do things like help Dust rub the cream on his bones, especially with those hard to reach places or extra painful spots? Maybe this is something they’d have to work up to, as doing something like that is a rather vulnerable thing, requiring trust.

I think itd be a cute image though, and maybe if we go with the headcanon that horror is or grows to be a little bigger or taller than Murder and Killer, he offers Murder some of his clothes since they’re bigger and looser. I’d imagine that Killer would have to frequently steal and horde painkillers and numbing medications for the gang, and perhaps manage it all carefully to avoid overuse.

And Dust probably wouldn’t want to wash his scarf, but I wonder if he’d accept a cleaner version of a scarf that looks just like it and just keep the old one as a comfort somewhere in his room.

And I’d imagine that Dust and Horror would have to frequently remind both Killer and Cross/XChara of who they are, where they are, the time and the year.

And very likely have to remind Killer about things multiple times either because he forgot something, or because he was asked to do something but didn’t realize if that experience was real or not. Perhaps they create a little system of asking if they can hold Killer’s hand (or let him hold their hand), to anchor him in reality whenever it seems like he’s not really present or sure.

{ @stellocchia }

Honestly id love to hear more about all of your headcanons. They’re all so detailed.

[nyaagolor]

What's going on with Nemona's wrist?

this is mostly just me putting down all my thoughts about this hc I have. Below the cut bc it's long as usual but read on if ur interested in like. orthopedics

I think Nemona has fatigue and some kind of wrist Issue because 1. She implies she has decreased motor function in that arm (can't throw pokeballs well, supports her arm with her other hand during battles) 2. She wears a brace 3. She gets winded easily / needs to catch her breath more than other characters / hates stairs So that got me wondering what the cause could be. I work in an orthopedic office and my shifts are 12 hours so sometimes when it's slow and I'm bored this is what my mind wanders to

Option 1: It's carpal tunnel and she's out of shape This is the most obvious answer since carpal tunnel is a repetitive stress injury and she's wearing a brace that looks almost identical to irl braces for that problem. Throwing pokeballs over and over, especially incorrectly, would be the most likely cause of an asymmetrical injury like that, and is actually reasonable for someone of her age and activity level. The winded thing is just because she's out of shape and has no underlying cause. Or maybe she just has some kinda chronic pain / fatigue disorder. That's not my department idk

Option 2: Oligoarticular JIA (juvenile idiopathic arthritis) This very long name is just describing chronic joint swelling in children that affects less than 5 joints. It's an autoimmune disease, and actually not that uncommon all things considered. It causes stiffness and pain, which would explain the stamina issues and motor skill issues. Plus, the constant flexion and extension of the knees from staircases certainly would explain her distaste for them in particular. That shit hurts. Occasionally people will use a brace for JIA-- it's highly unlikely her wrist would be the worst considering the typical presentation patterns (it usually affects bigger joints first like the knees) but hey. It's possible! This condition also affects young girls more often than other groups so. Math checks out

Option 3: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hypermobility type) Figured I would include this bc I've seen a few people hc this and wanted to give it a fair shot myself. This is a heritable connective tissue disorder that causes hypermobile joints, chronic pain, fatigue, and a whole host of other things. Specifically tho, this disorder used to be called EDS type III and is now considered part of the Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders, but that's a can of worms for a post that's not this one. While the symptoms do match, and honestly quite well (a brace for stabilization makes perfect sense and the fatigue symptoms feel pretty on the nose) the disease usually causes very stretchy skin and vascular issues that she doesn't seem to have so I'm a tad on the fence

Option 4: Cervical spinal stenosis Despite this being the first thing that came to mind for me (since I see it a lot in the office) I'm now less convinced this would be the case. This disorder is basically a narrowing of the spinal canal that pinches the nerves in the neck. It can cause pain, weakness, numbing, and pain that radiates down the body. If most of the compression was on the C4 and C5 nerve I can see it affecting one arm / wrist especially rough (since the pain is typically bilateral but asymmetrical) but also this occurring in people under the age of 50 is SUPER rare so eh. It's possible it was congenital or caused by an injury but I wouldn't bet on it. As for the stamina issues, the neurological issues caused by the compression would likely be the cause of that, especially radiating down the back and legs. Felt worth it to include even if I'm not 100% convinced

I'm saying "options" here bc these symptoms are super vague and there's like 80 billion things that could cause it, I'm just racking my brain for different possibilities. If anyone has other hcs for the underlying causes of Her Whole Deal lmk I'm curious

[morimemichael]

hi 👋 may I request og michael, rz michael and old man myers with a chubby s/o who has chronic pain 🥺👉👈 i have fibromyalgia unfortunately I have really bad pain in my legs, I feel very fatigued but I can't sleep because the pain is to much to bare sometimes, i get super cold, it makes my anxiety and depression worse, i get moody and i snap at people easily (i do feel bad) and my mind is foggy and I forget alot.

if this ask is to difficult to write you can just ignore it ik not everyone knows what it's like to have an illness or know any of the symptoms of every illness but if you do reply I will be very grateful ❤

Hello there 😊❤️ thx for requesting! I google the symptoms of fibromyalgia, specially to right this. I’m sure you’re not alone, I hope you can get some sleep tonight! ✨

OG!Michael Myers

Your legs been hurting all day this far

At first he didn’t get it, but once you explain what why you have chronic pain, he gets an idea

So, every time your legs are hurting, he’ll do all the things you would normally do for you

You had to cook tonight? Don’t worry, he got it

Clean the house? ANYTHING FOR YOU SWEETIE

You need him to carry you around? Oh don’t worry, he will….

He’ll do anything for you, specially if you’re hurting

At first, he would try to give you some massages on your legs, he hoped that it would help 🥺

Eventually he would just do it, cause he likes it

RZ!Michael Myers

You were a nurse at the hospital were he was being kept.

He didn’t know much about you, but he did notice that sometimes your legs would hurt you enough to sit on his bed and ask him to wait a few minutes and that you were sorry.

Today was not different, tho you hoped it was.

You came by to his cell to do his check routine when your legs started to hurt really bad.

“Agh…damn, sorry Michael. My legs again. Give me one minute please.” You said and he tilted his head as usual.

This time he approach you, for the first time ever, he brought the tools and items you use to check him and try to reach them to you, so you had to explain.

“Oh sweetie, thanks, but those won’t do for this…this is a condition called fibromyalgia. A thermometer and a stethoscope won’t do, but I appreciate your attempt to help Mike…”

He tilted his head again, and even tho he was using his orange mask, he could feel himself blushing.

So instead, he reached down to the bed with you and tried to give you some massages, the best way that he could.

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

the last chapter for walking study in demonology was CRAZYYY im so happy you updated. im so curious about what your thought process in writing it and if youre willing to share?? you dont have to if you dont want to btw! but in any case thank u so muchhh

hey thank you! appreciate it

okay super long answer below

honestly this one was difficult. idk if its bc its been a while since i write fics from scratch so i might have forgotten how difficult the whole thing is, but this one was tough. ch 8 wasnt from scratch tho cos i had the drafts since like 2022 or smthg lol

ik the formatting is non conventional in ch 8 and i was aware that itd be hard to read for some people. but i do think abt the readers often when i write.. mainly not what the readers want in terms of storyline (altho ofc i consider this too sometimes lol) but what the reading experience will be like for them.

i.e consider if id written the chapter in a linear, traditional way and narrated the confrontation between 1-A and LoV (or even other wackier “Villains” like godzilla and invading aliens or whatever). the truth is, although def easier to read, that version will be very boring.

(i know bc i tried and scrapped those versions.)

(im sure a better writer can write it interestingly but i am not a better writer.)

the thing w writing these traditional fight scenes is tht im sure — im 1000% positive in fact — that the readers have read it before. there r literally thousands and thousands of bnha fics out there with great fight scenes, on top of the actual manga, where youve read these characters fight their assorted villains. why would i make you read that again, esp when i know i cant do it better? i already know the readers r just gonna skim the chapter if thats the case. ive been a reader, ik what fic fatigue is like — esp with bnha when everythings been rehashed infinity times in infinity different ways.

same thing also applies with even the “metaness” of the fic itself.

i dont want the fic to come off like its talking down to readers, whom i believe alrdy have the instinctual knowledge of what the fic is trying to do. im willing to bet tht the readers have read something similar to this before, like multiverses n time loop n meta stuff, also cosmic horror. i still end up narrating some things even though often i feel im being too explanatory. i jst feel like the readers will know what im talking abt by virtue of their familiarity to the tropes involved.

therefore the least i can do is serve it in an interesting way, aka the fuckass formatting. like although the tropes im doing r done so many times before, at the very least i cld let the readers hopefully have fun by piecing it together puzzle-style with the fragmented formats — so its more of an experience thing rather than jst a lore dump. i dont like lore dumps, they can be condescending.

demonology def doesnt succeed in avoiding that however. in fact its fallen to that exact trap. ch 4 and 6, those r very lore-dumpy. i tried to make it fun w the humor dialogue style but its not perfect. i know tht by ch 8 that tricks alrdy old, and the readers have all the puzzle pieces at this point anyway so itd be even more repetitive than it alrdy is. even so i still feel im being too explanatory esp with the emotional arcs but thats a skill issue on my part

overall i feel demon can be more oblique and “elegant” in its mechanics.

but anyway, it IS crack… it was never meant to promise intelligence, least of all eloquence lmfao. its never meant to be taken seriously.

of course, at this point u can tell that i actually am taking it pretty seriously LOL. i never meant to write meta fiction. i have some gripes w it, namely that i feel meta fiction is used by weaker writers as a storytelling crutch n it can come off as lazy — demon is guilty of this too. but now that i end up writing meta fiction, i might as well fucking commit and try to push it as crazy as i can. if its not gonna be good, at least it can be interesting, or weird.

blah blah im yapping. point is, ik the end product might look very “random” and pastiche as if i was jst doing whatever i wanted … which, true … but it went thru a lot of trials and errors until this final version. you would not believe the amount of time ive rewritten this chapter, due to all those ^ considerations.

however i always knew i was going to start ch8 with the classic mary sue “fanfiction” — that segment was written a long time ago like in 2022/2023?? and mostly stayed unedited since, unlike the rest of the fic which i stripped and repainted and restripped again lol

ok thanks for reading abt my wack anime crack fic writing process that, again, shld not be taken seriously. i will admit however that i do put a lot of effort n heart into it so i cannot pretend i am aloof and disaffected. id be lying if i say its been easy. i consider it a miracle i updated at all. i keep saying its not meant to be taken serious but if i managed to make it even a little bit meaningful, id be very happy.

ah also. bnha ending actually forced me to scrap a lot of things too. but it kinda ends up for the better, maybe.

[salty-an-disco]

Hi!! The Prisoner for the send me a character game?? I can't recall if you were already asked about her, but I'll try anyway

(oops. the sudden fatigue from routine changing kept me from answering this one for a while……)

ask game link

• First impression

Like I said in another one of these, RTGame's gameplay was my first time seeing this game in full, and Prisoner was the first princess him (and, by extension, I) met!! And if I were to play the game blind, I feel like I'd make very similar choices to him and end up getting Prisoner too. It just feels like the most natural route? You're unsure of everything, not quite trusting the Narrator, but he's also your only source of info, so might as well go in with the benefit of the doubt.

Prisoner, herself, also looks like the most natural progression to the Harsh princess. She's not too different in how she's drawn, how she acts… she's colder and more quiet than before, but it doesn't feel like such a drastic change.

I was enamored by her. Her flat face, her monotone and straightforward speech, I'm a sucker for this archetype, so she already had me by the heart.

• Impression now

I LOVE HER SO MUCH. Among one of my fave princesses, she's just oakskskskskkssmkd

The flat effect autism swag is everything to me, I love it when a non-expressive character is just let be and isn't treated like there's something wrong with them/like they need to be fixed.

Her quiet trust, the way she's hopeful despite her doubts and skepticism, how deep her hurt goes if you leave her to rot aaaaaaaaaahhhhh. She's everything to me.

• Favorite moment

When you chain yourself besides her.

Something about like.. how despite you two being trapped, your curious and inquisitive nature still brings about entropy, and because of that, you manage to get yourself free without any bloodshed. Also, smth smth, stagnancy while change happens around you.

Urgh. This is a love story, y'all.

• Idea for a story

I am. so excited for when Pris appears in Heathens, I have so many ideas for her kamskdmddmmx

For something non-Heathens related tho, I really like the idea of Prisoner in the outside world just going on a thrift shop and completely embracing goth fashion, just. going all out, she deserves it.

• Unpopular opnion

Already talked about my thoughts on the 'leave head behind' lead-up, and that's prolly about it, tbh, don't really have much 'unpopular opnions' on her. Uuuuuhhhh, kinda understated opnion tho, is how she's prolly one of the most trusting and hopeful of the vessels. Just because it manifests as a quiet understanding and not a bubbly and unwavering faith doesn't mean it isn't there.

• Favorite relationship

Whatever she has going on with Skeptic is everything to me, despite not shipping it romantically, and I just. love how on the same wavelength they are, and how much faith they put in each other.

Also really interested in a potential Pris&Cold dynamic, since they're also pretty similar and have the same kinda 'flat effect autism' going on, which is why I put them together in my Swap AU that I still gotta properly go into here on Tumblr and post about lol

• Favorite headcanon

Genderfluid Pris my beloved <3

[ria-writes-stories]

Monsters

Ship: Vuzin Genre: Cotton description: Love, what a futile thing, don't you think? Note: Poly ships scare the ever loving hell outta me, why? I have to focus on multiple characters and I have to do it equally because it feels unfair for someone to get more love than the other and it's a really fragile balance that you need to pay attention to. I hope I managed to do ok tho.

------------------

(No one's pov)

Drones were a complicated system, a complex meant to mimic the efficiency of human nature, so there was no surprise that these machines, programmed to act like humans did the most 'humane' thing of them all. Exterminating an entire race simply because they do not share the same blood or better said oil, as them. How many species have humans determined to case to exist? How many humans have tormented and ended the lives of others like them for the same reasons? And that gets us to the part where drones as well found themselves feasting on each other for survival. It was just like humans. Wasn't it perfect? Wasn't this what their creators tried to achieve with the making of their beloved puppets?

There was a fault on their system however. Emotions. They were coding wasn't as accurate. Emotions in general were a literal mess and no one understood them and yet somehow drones struggled even more with them, one of the imperfections that they could never in truth mirror in the shape of their creators.

A massacre, a feast, nothing more but a sweet beast. She was hungry, she felt no remorse, she saw nothing more than just a quick snack. Drones have reached their peek and after being left neglected for so long they were ready to compensate their fatigue with the new refreshing taste of the very flesh that made them.

V and N both suffered crimes beyond their understanding, beyond their realisation so upon seeing the very same crimes be unfolded before them by a Drone just like them left them speechless.

Uzi was a wreck, one beyond anyone's understanding, one beyond her own understanding. She made no sense to herself or anyone else but she knew she had to fight, always. She didn't know why, but it was deeply encoded into her. No matter what was to happen, she had to fight, for herself, for others, not that she had any others before meeting N and V, but the point still stands.

Love was not something Drones were programmed to feel and yet they had friends, families. They still lacked in ration and whatnot but still, this emotion was possible and anything else that comes with it such as misery, pain and torment.

V the forever loyal soldier. The knight in shinning armour ready to slay the beast, only to realise that was not the case.

N the foolish prince thinking that he had to save the princess regardless of what state she was in.

Uzi, the beast or the princess, perhaps both depending on how you look at it, fragile yet strong, sturdy on her feet yet easily shaken. She was an anomaly but that made her even the more beautiful.

There was one thing that tied these three together, endless hunger to satisfy a pit that has been dug into their core without their knowledge.

He was so foolish, and idiot at best, but he was so lovable too. Pure and kind regardless of the hostile nature forced into him, V found herself suffering from love for a dumbass. So really it begs the question, who was the more foolish one? How could she not? He was kind, he was brave in his own strange way, and he was good ate the very core of his heart, which is what made him so vulnerable to begin with. Perhaps she couldn't help that he simply had a charm that had her besotted.

Uzi was a different story all together. She was more intelligent to a certain extent. Perhaps it was her rebellious behaviour that kept her from making the kind of mistakes N would do. Perhaps it was the angsty teen behaviour that left her no other choice but to fight when placed into a tight spot as she wouldn't win in a fight where one would use emotions as their primary source. Whatever it was, V found herself mumbling and annoying her whenever she could, provoking her as if daring her to show her the same heated passion and hatred, or perhaps what she was seeking was another type of attention, but this was the closest she could get to it.

N felt love before. He knew what it felt like for his system to overheat.

To have cold bullets of sweat run down his forehead. Hew knew what it felt like for his heart to flutter from seeing her face.

V has changed but the reason he fell for her to begin with never left. Her laugh. Her beautiful hypnotising laugh, it didn't matter that it was psychotic or sweet, it reminded him of the pure girl he once knew. It reminded him how she was always true to herself and her motives without bending or budging them for anyone not even herself. Once she has taken a decision she followed through with it. That must be one of the main reasons he found himself mesmerised.

Uzi was a whole different love story and what they had was just as unique. N didn't fall for Uzi because there was something in her that reminded him of V. Uzi didn't fall for N because he was kind to her like Thad was. Uzi was strong, confident, despite her insecurities, despite being an emotional wreck, despite everything she went through she was still so incredibly strong. N couldn't help but love her even more as she thought about it, as she stood in her presence. She was an emotional wreck no doubt, but that didn't stop her from yet being the strongest person he has ever met.

Uzi had reasons after reasons to take a liking to N. He was 'cool' in his own goofball manner. He was just like those dogs he so dearly loved. He was loyal, he was always down to do anything, he was always willing to help out and give a hand. He may not be always efficient in what he was trying to help your with but one thing for sure he would first have to die in order to stop being himself.

V was so much more complicated. She was always menacing, there was something psychotic about her. There was something that repulsed her and yet pulled her in like a magnet. Uzi was always in some sort of fight with her. What for? She didn't know either. You could call it instinct, but only if it were that simple, they are drones, they don't have such an excuse. Yet regardless of the best wishes when they were away from the other they never managed to end it. But maybe that's simply how loved worked for them.

They were all monsters, terrible awful beasts who knew nothing but the cravings of the flesh much to their demise.

Their hearts would flutter their cheeks will bloom with colour. Crimson red, like the endless pools of blood they have scattered around wherever they went. Rusty red like the components of their victims left to rot, a symbolism of their torment and agony.

The three were peacefully sleeping with each other's grasp. N's arm was warped around Uzi's waist, while Uzi was holding with one had N and the other V, while V had her tail coiled around Uzi while her head rested on N's. They fell asleep on the chair, with V on N's back and Uzi on his lap. One would dare say that it may be uncomfortable but for those three that was the best sleep that they have gotten in a long time. Forgotten by the world in their tiny corner in a space pod hidden inside a tower of corpses. They felt at most ease right there because they knew they did not need to worry about what tomorrow will hold for them in their peaceful quiet paradise in hell. Their cheeks flushed. Scarlet red, like the blood on their hands.

The end

[doberbutts]

Thank you for talking about the “able to get to the door but unable to stay inside” thing re:stimulation. My issues are less severe than yours were (creates chronic fatigue instead of severe meltdowns) but it’s kinda the first time I’ve heard anyone discuss them as a legitimate disabling barrier. I still have this “if I just try hard enough” mentality that I’m trying to overcome, and it helps to have someone else go “no, this is a real problem.”

Honestly the brain injury really opened my eyes because I do have ADD and had childhood epilepsy (been seizure-free since I was 8 tho) so we were somewhat conscious about sensory stuff but a lot of it was like. Okay every once in a while you will touch something that is Bad Texture and you will scrub your skin raw about it for the next couple of hours. Annoying repeating sounds fade into the background for you but God Forbid anyone talks while you're concentrating because now they've ruined everything. You'd rather starve than put Tastes Bad into your mouth and have gone to bed with hunger pains many times as a result. etc etc etc for me it wasn't so disabling but largely that was due to my mom knowing how to manage my symptoms and teaching me from a very young age how to cope.

And then with the seizures my major warning sign was a colossal headache that refused to go away which was a sign to go lay down somewhere quiet and dark for a few hours until it passed or else a lightning storm would happen in my skull :D

But the brain injury... that really upset everything. Which is commonly reported, when I was finally able to speak I told my neurologist that I felt like a completely different person and not in a good way and he said that most TBI survivors have said this.

Honestly the best way I can describe it is that. Hmm. Imagine... your TV is too loud. When I say too loud I mean like. It hurts to be in the same room as the TV, it's bordering on the edge of so loud that it makes you physically take a step back. When the TBI first happened, that was any and every stimulus to my senses. My clothes touching my skin was Too Loud. Tasting my food was Too Loud. The ambient light coming from my window was Too Loud. And so on and so forth. Because there was an actual damaged piece of my brain, it was really struggling to parse any more information than "oh, no, ow, make that stop".

I wore blacked out glasses inside because I couldn't stand to keep my eyes open otherwise. I would ask my roommates to whisper several rooms down if they were going to talk to each other or on the phone because even just hearing their footsteps was like someone was taking a hammer to my forehead. I was usually naked because the feel of my shirt against my back would set me off. There's a lot I can't remember from that time but I remember being so frustrated as I hid under my covers from the light and the ambient noise of living with a bunch of people and their pets that "trying harder" and "pushing through" honestly just made everything worse.

It's a lot better now. It'll be 5 years in July. But every once in a while something will still set me off and I will be back in that place, frustrated with myself as I feel my brain hurtling towards a Very Loud Meltdown that I cannot get to stop.

I just don't appreciate being told that it's somehow lesser because my legs work. Especially considering TBIs are so common, and they happen so fast. All it takes is one good knock on the head and then you'll be just like me.

[daftpatience]

Do you prefer fountain pens made from metal or plastic? Or is there no difference? I really love the look of safari pens but I'm hesitant to spend so much on a plastic pen body

i actually prefer plastic and resin bodied pens! metal pens are usually too heavy for me and my little hands (part of why i like fountain pens is because ive got joint problems and chronic pain/fatigue so i don't want to press down hard on the page) and also i usually don't really like the handfeel of metal pens. tbh my one exception that i really wanna own is the brass kaweco sport since i could write with it unposted and not have all that weight hanging off the back + the texture of it looks so niceys/it does that cool thing where it oxidizes to your specific hand etc. hehe

my lamy pens feel fantastic in hand and i really like the materials they use! they're a very nice texture and i don't feel like i'm gonna break them or anything from regular use. they sort of engage the same part of my brain that as a kid was satisfied playing with shape sorting toys and lego (which makes sense since they're the same type of plastic!)

if you're really wanting a metal one tho there is the LAMY al-star! it's the same thing as the safari but it's aluminum :) the finish and available colours arent as appealing to me but they might appeal to you!!

[snazzyladreal]

Random dee twin headcanons pt.2

Part 1 here

They both have the waddle dee ‘walk in a linear path’ instinct that causes them to just kinda wander around, head 99% empty

they have gotten lost this way(lost in that no one else could find them, they somehow always get back home mostly unharmed)

Now whenever that’s about to happen, Dedede just holds Bandee in the crook of his arm so they can’t go anywhere

they were born in a small village kinda hidden in the hills, but sometime when they were like 2-5 years old it burnt down somehow

they were the only known survivors

you’ll never guess who saved them

Morpho Knight itself took them out of the wreckage and left them in a place where another village could take them in

they both suppressed the memories and have ptsd 👍

also Bandee has a small head scar from the fire

now for a tone shift

Bandee knows several different languages and sometimes switches languages mid conversation to fuck with people

he can and will call you a dumbass in several languages

Sailor is just the smartest on the Halberd, still dumb but has the most common sense and knows the most about mechanics

in the Kirby Clash games, they’re basically the last ‘normal/basic’ waddle dees left

also they’re more directly kinda adopted by Morpho

you can see Sailor running after a butterfly in the background, it’s the grim reaper playing with it’s technically adopted daughter fight me

Kirby once bought a toy mouse to see what Bandee would do

cat like things happened

in general - waddle dees have a weird ass behavior mix of dogs, cats, and donkeys, and it is very confusing but cute

Bandee has some chronic fatigue symptoms, it’s pretty much the only reason they actually rest at all

Most common is just resting more and having headaches, tho they can also get brain fog

Sailor can hyperfixate on working(on machines) for so long that they’ve passed out before

Her ‘record’ is 11 hours basically completely renovating/fixing Heavy Lobster

It is a problem

Sailor started having flashbacks when she was the last one on the Halberd

Bandee had a bad time when Waddle Dee Twin was destroyed

and the Forgo Dedede battle-

they do get through it tho because Bandee’s a badass who’s been through therapy

and I can’t come up with anymore rn so enjoy lmao

[dreamsofminnie]

“Ethereal Paintings”

20~ Corkscrew board of emotions☔️

Scaramouche x Reader Smau | Word count: 1.1k

It’s been hours sitting on the ground of your art studio, and all you’ve done is stare at those words last said.

‘A ruffian like you wouldn’t get the ways of art now anyways.’

She is talking about A.I art. Of course, she is.

What really was she plotting? What was the connection between her topic and the question followed with agreeance. Stretching your legs out, the makeshift corkboard you made from your canvas had your maniacal scribbles. Those are stuff from insane asylums— mostly cause your brain overthinks something then out-reasons it and crosses it out.

The investigation has only made its first large clue. The rest is so deeply uncovered in facades. You can’t even question anyone of them.

You lost that chance in your flurry of anger.

That thought made you frown deeply. They definitely know something. And they are deliberately hiding it from you. You don’t want that, even if it will hurt you, you would want to know the full story. Hiding a painful fact will only hurt you longer.

So you can only rely on yourself to dig this truth up.

—yourself and Layla’s cat that she delivered over at your studio door, plus some cat needs. She thought I would be lonely and go insane so she placed her cat in a box at the door and texted me that a gift was sent. You sent her a barrage of hugs and kisses in digital sticker form for the sweet gesture.

Illumi— the name Layla gave her cat from the word illuminate, was sitting in your lap while your hands raises and falls in gentle strokes to pat the cat. Something an evil villain would do– except you’re not the evil one here.

Maybe a little mean when you kicked your close friends out of your priv. But it was slightly deserved– for a girl on their period, not even half as mean.

“Aaaahgguu, illumi, you wouldn’t have some secret magic detection skills, would you?? I could really use some right now.” You boop the cat’s nose as she wiggled around in your lap.

“Think think. The class leader…bro..I already forgot her name. Tho it’s not like I’ll ever use it.” You snorted at yourself in an attempt to lighten your mood.

“Shitty class leader was discussing A.I art the whole time I would assume.. Then the topic of question was prob the same. Ignoring the reactions of people I saw, what kind of question would she ask?” Jotting down the words you spoke, your handwriting was much neater compared to your previous overthinking jumbles.

“Who likes Art? Who still pursues art? Who has seen the A.I art that won the blah award? Mmmh.. Who uses A.I art?” Lining up the questions, you column them and begin to bullet point if the questions would be possible.

Who likes art?

•So bland.

•Everyone did in your class

Who still pursues art?

•Half of the reunion did but the raised hands were less than half

•Ayaka did but she avoided her hand being raised

Who has seen the A.I art that won the Art award?

•Pretty interesting question and is very possible

•Except Ayato would most likely have seen that but he didn’t have his hand raised either

•Could be this question but a tad different

Who uses A.I art?

•Possib—

“What!! Why did I write this?!?? Even if less than half the reunion raised their hand, that's still one handful of people who then supposedly uses A.i art!! Absurd!!” You cross out the question hastily with a thumping heart while your brain pumps out more insecurities.

“Scaramouche… why has your hand raised.. Can you please send my brainwaves an answer? Please..” Giving up your body to gravity you fall to your side and curl up with illumi tucked in your arms.

Haven’t been resting much ever since you ran away from the shared dorm—which was in the evening at 5 pm, it is now the next day at 6 am–fatigue caressed your body into a deep slumber. The much-needed sleep from the heavy thinking all the night.

[☂️]

The sky dipped in a golden sunset with your energy refueled and filled with a meal from your small studio kitchen, you are ready to accept any truth at this point.

Rereading the bullet points you trace your finger over each point as if touching the words will give you a hint. Your digit stopped at the aggressively crossed-out question.

You let out a somber exhale and rewrote it underneath. “Who uses A.I art…”

Logically, many people do. You can’t stop them from being curious and testing it out.

Maybe that’s what Scaramouche did.

Or maybe that’s what you would like to believe.

‘Uses’ is hardly a term for ‘testing/tried using’

Before you assume he is too above using that– in your own delusioned vision of him, you needed evidence. And you hoped you can keep your illusion of his art purity.

Taking out your phone you knew a proper aspect of digging this up. Through Twitter right? Yes, though the method of stalking follows and following in an account.

“His account follows both of mine..”

@Scaramouche follows @Pecaeartist & @Ynnotanartmajr

“Wait. I- I felt a sense of deja vu when I first got Scara’s Twitter. He commissioned me many times!” Rapidly scrolling through your dm’s on your art account, you see Scaramouche’s account glaring right at you. Nervously you open it up and see the past messages he has sent.

“He commissioned me 4 separate times….” Your body wasn't sure if your heart should be fluttering or wringing itself in despair.

“I’ll feel terrible if I use this as my proof..” The beart you held took the sad route and exited the messages.

“My loyal commissioner…huh” You chose to ponder over this and got up from the chair you were lounging in. Walking over to the glass wall that was your large window in the loft-like studio, you sat on the carpet and stared outside to the darkening sky.

“Scara commissioned me the most… If. If he, used. My kindness to– Does he have an A.I art account. Only assuming, haa, that would be the only reason to have one at his study level. Many A.I users take the fame in posting such atrocities. Right. I need to find it. And if I can’t…he is pure from that taint.” The insanity couldn’t be withheld anymore, you were losing it.

“Scara…I want to trust you. I believe that you wouldn’t do this to me.”

Getting up from the floor, you looked at your own conflicted reflection–one last time–before you descended into unwithdrawaled grief.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Synopsis{2}-> Many study dates and flirting over weeks drew you both close. Awkwardness still drew a line between you both but it was enough for a start. Admiring him from the sidelines wasn't enough, however, pieces of the false facade start to shred; and fate has ways of twisting your heartstrings — Is he really– …

• Annnnnddd!! That’s a wrap for the 2nd season of the Smau!!! Vacation time🤩

• Thank you for staying all this time💜🥺

• Next season will be juisy

//Taglist//

@akagism2 @pokidot @feiherp @kyouzki @rmiyuki @infe-risk0 @sakurapeach @bluebelony @kichiyoshi @mikctp @kur44pika @cupids-chamber @crucnhice @neigesprincess @scaramoo @gojoandelsalovechilde @childeslegstrap @sakiimeo @d4y-dr3am3r @m3gitsune @scarletttcroww @sashiette @beriiov @rizakari @xiaossocksniffer @lxry-chxn @bryai003 @eunchaeluvr @goj0h @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @sketcheeee @ozzierenato @ohmyfinggod @kiyomi-hoku @hutaosbootao @yxcade

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

friend i listened to “spring thief” by yorushika and it’s been on repeat for the past hour… please give other song recs by yorushika that you like 🫡 ALSO YOUR FIC WAS SO PRECIOUS AND THE SONG WORKED SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH YOUR WRITING/REALLY ENHANCED THE VIBE OMFG oh 2 live in an apartment w sashisu and get breakfast made daily by suguru <3 - @dollsuguru

KAIROOO MY ANGEL i still haven’t read ur rb of the fic (saving it as a treat for later today :3 hehe) BUT TYSM FOR READING AND FOR UR KIND WORDS ILYSM 🥺🥺🥺 with that being said ……..

WAHHHHH I’M SOOO OVERJOYED THAT U LISTENED TO THE SONG???? ISN’T IT AMAZING????? yorushika makes me fully insane they’re my favorite band Ever hhhhh i’m so glad u thought it added to the fic 😭😭 their songs are all super nostalgic and bittersweet and summery so they’re just . perfect for sashisu & stsg.. u asked for more recs so ofc i will deliver >:3

i genuinely don’t think there’s a single yorushika song that doesn’t hit so i have like 25873 favorites BUT here are some standouts….. some have mvs and others don’t but yorushika’s lyrics are genuinely so so beautiful and incredible so i’ll make sure the links take u somewhere u can read them <3

blooming in that summer

my absolute favorite <333 like, absolute favorite. it changed my life. i want to live in it. the lyrics are insane the instrumental is out of this world and the final chorus always always gets to me. i’ve cried listening to it bc it’s just so so good AND it’s also the most stsg song ever so i cry when i listen to it and think of them (someone made an animatic of stsg with this song that quite literally lives in my brain rent free u can find it here) <33

hachigatsu, bou, tsukiakari

another of my absolute absolute faves!! lyrics are so good i cried, instrumental is so good i cried, and the final chorus . makes me cry. notice how i’m already repeating myself bc literally all of these songs are incredible in every possible way aaa ALSO the singing 😵‍💫😵‍💫 esp at the end. there’s so much emotion in it and it makes me sick actually whewww

replicant

another absolute favorite :33 (i’m gonna be saying this for all of them i think but i mean it sincerely ok…) kairo this one makes me ill. it’s so gojo coded. it’s Him. the lyrics just remind me of him sm (they’re incredible btw the final line makes me batshit insane) AND THE INSTRUMENTAL??? might be my fave yorushika instrumental ngl don’t quote me on that tho 🙏🙏 just such a lovely summery song it smells like seasalt and tastes like clouds :3

kamisama no dance

AAAA ANOTHER ABSOLUTE FAVORITE kairo this one is getocoded. i knowwww you’ll understand. some of my favorite yorushika lyrics Ever and that’s saying a lot. it also has crazy lore bc it’s connected to this whole story being told in some of yorushika’s albums and :((( yeahhh. this one feels kairocoded to me but that might just be bc it’s so getocoded LMAO i have a feeling you’ll like it though!!

robber and bouquet

THIS ONE IS SOOO LOVELY the instrumental…. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i love it sm. i’d say this one is kinda different from classic yorushika stuff but in a very good way!! also i’m legally obliged to inform u that this one is tojicoded as HELL i associate him w the lyrics so much…. also i adoreee the way suis sings in this one her voice is so gorgeous wowowow… the sense of fatigue…… so good

just a sunny day for you

A CLASSIC but for very good reasons . the mv is just gorgeous, the lyrics are stunning and the instrumental is sooo nostalgic and summery n bittersweet :((( just the best. sashisu coded also!!!

aaaand finally here’s their yt channel!! there are so many other songs i adore that i wanted to mention but i think these r enough for now 😭 oh but here’s also a yt channel that makes lyric videos for their songs in case u wanna find some more!! :3

[boxheadpaint]

hungry but not much to eat and tgen mildly depressing news, ok. obviously this is worsened by being hungry and not medicated yet. decide instead to go back to bed and lie to still to use up energy and sleep through hunger. Somehow this does not work and just end up more tired and more hungry. And still havent taken meds. my thrilling life. dove noises outside tho. wait i havent done a diary post in a bit hang on lemme rev up here.

ok back. Collapsed while cooking because im intwlligent, but did enjoy a good meal with my partner. watched some Star Trek while my body refused to regain energy so as to take a shower, and had to take a shower anyway. Have been much less depressed lately, though have been dealing with constant daytime fatigue for some reason. Im mr fall asleep. going to get groceries later today thank goodness

current goal in pokerogue because of course. Like obviously yes shiny farming but also at this point im trying to make the most disgusting dog possible. Behold

Completely and utterly nasty thing.

im not sure how to get back into digital art sooner rather than later, my computer has become immensely annoying to use. Beyond having to prop it by hand because of lack of back panel, it also heats up a bunch very quickly and the cursor is Still an irritating molecule off center to me- likely because of the angle I have to look at when it’s laying flat from no adequate support.

I don’t want to ditch digital completely because of some minor inconveniences but my patience with the machine has been wearing thin for a long while now. at least it’s not giving me notifications to update to windows 11. Like fuck off and such.

Lately I find myself more and more mad about advertisements and marketing. Beyond the disruptive nature of these things and the wastefulness theyre also straight up stupid and just make things look worse by existing. It doesn’t matter how many different ads for reeses you show me with the bojack guy over them, and in fact the more I see them the more likely I am to just say the governments putting poison shit in it so people will stop buying them. Also fuck everything that charges more money for a gluten free version of a product

come June im going on a ride up north and visiting my sister briefly, which I look forward to. There was some miscommmunication about days so I thot I was going to be able to hang out with her for a full day on her weekend, but it turned out that was unavailable and it made me upset. still, even if it’s just for a few hours after her shift ill be happy to spend any time with her. I miss being just a room away from her at a given moment sometimes and wish I could have appreciated that time more, though I know a part of why I didn’t was the house itself and its effect on me. Swagless really

anyway somehow I managed to be up until 3 am once again. Im marking the date down as today even if I started this post yesterday. Hoping to relax and get good news soon, or at least neutral news. News of a sort

5/18/2024, the dog is also several levels higher now than pictured. Like by a lot