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byunpum · 2 years ago

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Ghost girl | part 2

Pairing: Neteyam x Albino na'vi!fem x Sully family

Warning: All the characters are aged up 20’s, injured, neytiri being the mom we all need, teyam is a shy babygurl, soft & crush moments.

Note:I am taking this story as I am feeling it. I don't have an ending written, so I'm going to let it all just flow. I hope you like this chapter. You know that all opinions are welcome. BTW… I'll keep answering requests. I have a lot of them in my inbox, so please be patient. <3 Thank you for helping me in the last post.

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5(final)

1 year ago…

"Auyat, I must accept my destiny, it's the right thing to do" you speak, adjusting a few pieces of your hair. "But…you don't love him" the girl is sitting weaving a berry basket. Berry picking season was approaching. "You're right, I don't love him…but I don't plan to disobey my father" you look at your friend, who is looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You let go of what you're doing… and settle closer to your friend's side. "I have no choice, it's the right way, you know Dad wants the lineage to continue…and according to him, Seyey is the perfect man for me" your voice sounds almost lazy, as you feel your friend stroking your hair. "So what happened about that dream…about the boy?" she asks you.

You laugh a little, remembering the vision you had had months ago. The dream was simple…a bright lake, in front of you was a man. You could recognize some of his features…but you couldn't see his whole face. You could feel more the sensation of being with him. He was holding your hand, and you could feel the love he felt for you. How you laughed, and spent time together, until you woke up quickly…damn, you were in love with a dream.

"That's just a dream!!!" you laugh, pulling away from her. "It's a vision…lately your talents are at their peak" she is excited, getting up to spin around. You both laugh, she was cheerful and awkward…but she was your best friend. Almost your sister. The girl sits down smack next to you, hugging you. "You know I'll always be here for you…no matter what you choose" your friend speaks, as you turn to look at her. "Me too…me too" returning the hug. You feel the hug grow colder, turning to look at your friend. Noticing her body fade over your hands…until there is nothing left. There is nothing left of her.

You open your eyes suddenly, where were you? What had happened? The last thing you remember is the face of that woman…your baby!!!. Where the hell is your baby? You sit up suddenly, but the pain in your leg reminds you of the reason why you had fainted. You get more comfortable on the sheets you were lying on. And you start to look at the bands on your body. It was different from what you had seen before, 'new medicine' you think. You also notice how much warmer it was than in your village. Everything was dry, and hot. This was not good for you… your body was used to the cold temperatures. Looking at the decorations that adorned the hut, you laugh a little. Somehow it reminded you of your mother. You see how the curtains of the hut open, and by instinct you try to wrap your body. But the pain gets the better of you and you let out a moan.

"Oh…you're awake," says mo'at. Carefully approaching, seeing how you had your ears pinned to your head, and your eyes dilated. "Wow…you sure have a lot of hair" mo'at reaches over and strokes the side of your hair a little. The snow na'vi were very different, not only because of their skin. But because of their physical appearance, white and abundant hair. Perfect to protect them from the dangerous cold. His eyes were brown, perfect for camouflage among the cold trees. Besides, everyone knows that brown is the color of choice for the cold seasons. "Where is my baby… I" you start to speak, but you see how the woman hands you a container, which contained a liquid. "He is with my daughter…the woman who rescued you, he is safe" she speaks, watching as your body relaxes a little. "But he is not hurt?" you ask, mo'at shakes her head. Trying to calm you down. "You need to take that drink…it will help you stay strong" mo'at says. You are looking at the drink, as you begin to sip it a little at a time. "The best thing would be for you to rest…your son is in good hands." Mo'at speaks.

The truth is that you were still tired, and having a baby in your care while feeling so tired was not recommended, and something inside you told you that he was in good hands. After taking your drink, you lay down on your side. Mo'at watches you, you were hugging your body in a ball position. You were heartbroken, it wasn't easy to be here… after all you had been through. Maybe you were the only survivor of your clan… you were alone. Mo'at, in a very motherly moment, kneels down next to you, places your hand in your hair. She says nothing, just feels you sigh, and can hear some whimpering. She settles down next to you, to comfort you. You had been through so much.

On the other side of the village, neytiri held the baby in her arms. She had spent day and night caring for him. She had to admit she was tired, jake was out hunting with lo'ak. Kiri was taking care of tuk, she was out for a walk with her sister. And she only had neteyam with her, her eldest son was helping her prepare the afternoon meal. "teyam…will you help me with something?" says neytiri, watching as her son gets up from the floor, and drops the pots he was holding. "What am I good at mother" neteyam comes to her side. Neytiri in a smooth but quick movement, stretches out her arms to hand the baby to neteyam. Clumsily he tries to hold him. "M-mama what," stammers neteyam. "I want to walk for a while…plus I'll go get what's missing for dinner" says neytiri, watching as neteyam takes the baby in his arms. Before the boy could protest, neytiri got up, grabbed a basket and hurried out of the family hut. She knew that neteyam would do a good job.

"And now what do I do with you…ahhh?" says neteyam, this was making him nervous. The last time he had held a baby in his arms was tuk, but he was still an infant. Now everything was strange… noticing how the baby moved his nose, and raised his little hands. He placed his hand, so that the baby would hold his finger. "Wow…you are small…and very white" neteyam laughs, now he was sitting on the floor. Stroking the baby's hair, nuzzling it more on his chest. "What would your name be?" neteyam touches the baby's nose, causing the baby to make a little vague smile on his little mouth. Neteyam felt herself growing tender, this baby was so tender and beautiful to his eyes. Lifting his arms, to give him a little kiss on his cheek. "You are precious!!!" neteyam speaks in a higher pitched voice.

After a while, about 1 hour or so. Neteyam had placed the baby in the small hammock his mother had made for him. While he was preparing some hunting tools, sharpening his knives and arrows. Until he hears the baby start to cry, he gets up and runs to the baby. Taking him in his arms. "Hey…what's wrong? Are you dirty?" says neteyam, examining if the baby had done any of its needs. The baby's clothes were strange, compared to the clothes of the omaticaya babies. This one was more covered, a type of cloth…that seemed to be the skin of some animal. "mmm are you clean…ahhh does anything hurt?" says neteyam, as he holds the baby in his arms, lifting him up to place his ears on the small stomach. "oh!!! You seem to be hungry" neteyam closes his eyes a little, when he hears how the baby starts to cry louder. "calm down!!!" neteyam tries to soothe him, but he doesn't even know what to feed him. I mean…this baby is supposed to be drinking breast milk. Taking some time to think, as he paces back and forth around the hut.

'Mo'at' thinks neteyam. His grandmother would help him, of course…he couldn't go to where the baby's mother was, because she was hurt. But his grandmother would help. He quickly leaves the hut, and makes his way to the mo'at hut. Entering, he sees that all is quiet. The baby had calmed down a bit, neteyam found that as long as he was moving the baby was quiet. Entering and examining the area. There was no one, until he saw a figure on one of the beds. It seemed to be a girl…and he knew immediately that you were the mother. Because it was very obvious, because of your skin and hair color. The boy approaches carefully, but a crying sound is heard throughout the hut. This causes you to wake up.

"What's going on?" you speak, carefully getting up. You still had your eyes half closed, as you tried to see what was happening. When you finally open your eyes, you see a man. Holding your baby, and your baby crying. "I'm sorry, I" neteyam speaks, but suddenly goes quiet. You both make eye contact for a couple of seconds, before you look down. "Is that my baby? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BABY?" you yell a little, raising your arms. Signaling, to hand him over to you. Neteyam without hesitation, rushes over. With his tail tucked between his legs, handing you the baby. Watching as you quickly embrace him. A smile comes across your face, as you sniff at your baby's hair. "Mama's here… now,now," you cuddle the baby. He is crying, but his fury has diminished as he hears and smells your scent.

"He's hungry…so I brought him with mo'at…I swear I didn't want to get you up" neteyam tries to apologize. But see how you are ignoring him, all your attention was now placed on your baby. He sits up, he wasn't too far away from you. But he was at the perfect distance to respect your space. He stays quiet, watching you cuddle your baby. Moving your top, to breastfeed your child. Giving him a little kiss on his forehead, "I think it was a woman who was taking care of my child" you look up, still annoyed. But you feel your breath catch, when you finally make eye contact with neteyam.

His eyes…his bright eyes. The shape of his nose…and how his hair fell to his shoulders. Your pupils dilate…it couldn't be him, it was almost impossible. Your gazes never leave each other's side, it seems as if the two of you have met at some point. You feel him so familiar…his gaze is so familiar. "Neteyam" you speak softly, noticing how the man's ears perk up. "Do we know each other?" neteyam asks, still making eye contact with you. You feel that same pressure in your chest that you felt when you had that…dream. "No…I don't think so" you speak, shifting your gaze. You hear a chuckle, neteyam was laughing to himself. "Sure…I've never seen anyone like you" neteyam's eyes scan your whole body. Then he looks at your face again.

"Yes" you felt a little embarrassed, out of nowhere you were embarrassed and you swear you were blushing. It couldn't be him…it could be something else. 'eywa stop doing your thing..no, no ,no ,no' you think. How could it be him, you don't even know him. "Hey are you okay?" neteyam asks, reaching over to touch your shoulder a little, but just before he touched you. You startle, pulling away a little. "Ohh sorry honey" you speak, the movement had knocked your baby off your boob. You try to get comfortable, but with the wraps and your clothes it was very difficult. Neteyam reaches over, and takes a piece of clothing that was covering your breast. Holding it up, so you could better fit your baby. "Thank you" you speak, seeing how he gives you a smile. "You're welcome…hey, why are you turning red?" asks Neteyam. And yes, you were turning very red.

The tips of your ears were red and your nose. So were your cheeks. You shake your head to the other side. "Ahhh it's nothing…I think it's the heat. It's VERY hot in here" you yell a little. Neteyam falls silent, you had surprised him. "Yeah…you're not used to this weather. My mother told us where you came from" you watch as he settles more in his seat. And gives the 'I see you' sign. "I know it must have been awful what you've been through… but you're welcome to this clan" speaks neteyam. Damn…he had to be so nice and kind. "Thank you I…" just as you were about to thank him, you hear someone enter the hut. It was three people to be more precise. Neytiri, Kiri and Mo'at. The three women are a bit surprised, when they see neteyam next to you and the baby.

"You were supposed to be taking care of him," says neytiri, approaching you. "Yes…he just got hungry. I came to see if grandma was here so she could help me…but look" neteyam points his arms at you. " His mom was awake" neteyam says. "You woke me up" you speak, seeing how neytiri gave him a dirty look. Neteyam curls into a ball, hugging his knees. Neytiri turns to look at you, smiling tenderly. "And how are you?" she asks, noticing how you cuddle your baby. "I'm fine…I wanted to thank you for not leaving me there, I'm thankful…. for everything" you speak, looking up to look at mo'at as well. Neytiri caresses your face. "You're welcome… I had to do it, I wouldn't have forgiven myself if something had happened to you" neytiri speaks, sitting down closer to your side.

"What's the baby's name?" asks Kiri, the girl is already in front of you. You are a little surprised, but you laugh. You lift the baby in your arms. "His name is herwì" you speak. Neytiri smiles a little, taking the baby's foot in her hands. "That is a beautiful name" kiri moves closer to the baby. Neytiri looks up, to see neteyam looking at you. The look seemed to be calm, while his tail wagged in fast taps. It could be curiosity, the woman thought. "Well…I see you met my oldest son…sorry I left the baby for him. I had to get things for dinner," neytiri says, apologizing to you. You wave your hands. "Don't worry he is" you give a quick glance at neteyam, who looks down at the floor when he notices that you caught him looking at you. "He's very funny" you speak. Kiri laughs, and taps neteyam. "Wow…someone says you're funny" kiri teases her brother. The latter rolls his eyes, turning to look at another spot in the hut.

After half an hour, everyone was still there in the hut. Neytiri was doing her best to make you feel comfortable in your new home. Because it was. Neytiri had a very long conversation with Jake, she wanted him to agree to let the girl stay in the clan. The only thing you were asking for was shelter, you had lost everything. Jake was quick to agree, first he couldn't say no to his mate. And second… he understood what you were going through AND he wasn't going to leave a young mother abandoned. This made Neytiri happy, she felt a responsibility to you. The only thing she was curious about was what had really happened…and where was your family? She didn't want to be disrespectful…but she was very curious.

Neteyam had moved closer to you, listening as you and Kiri talked. Kiri kept talking about how you were going to like everything in this clan. How she was going to help you. He was just giving you a few glances, praying you wouldn't notice he was looking at you every 4 seconds. At that, you hear some noises coming from the entrance of the hut. Some na'vi were carrying a man. You could see that his leg was very bad. All this noise made the baby get up and start crying. Mo'at got up and led the men to place the wounded man on one of the beds. Mo'at received the injured of the clan, took care of them. So this hut, it was almost like a hospital.

You try to calm the baby, but he was very upset. He wouldn't stop crying, he woke up scared. "May I?" asks neteyam, signaling for you to hand over the baby. You, without complaint, hand him the baby. Watching as he lays him on his chest and gets up. To now walk back and forth. You laugh, but you are surprised. "wow…look at that" says kiri, herwi had calmed down. Falling asleep on neteyam's chest. "neteyam, you have a talent with babies," says neytiri, laughing a little. She thought it was adorable to see her son, comforting the baby. Meanwhile neytiri had gotten up and was now walking towards her mother. Mo'ate was busy, helping the man. "mom… y/n is she better?" asks neytiri.

"Yes…but she needs help and supervision, in a week she will be as good as new" Mo'at speaks, still working. Neytiri takes another look, she saw how kiri and neteyam were already getting along with you. As if they had known you all their lives… you gave off such a beautiful vibe. She felt that this place was not right for a wounded mother and her baby to be. "There an empty hut?" mo'at looks at neytiri. "No…not at the moment" mo'at continues to treat the man. "Mother…I think it is right that I take y/n to rest in my hut. We will take care of her…besides this is not a safe place for a baby" says neytiri. "I find it fine…you just have to ask her" says mo'at, she was deep in her work, ignoring her daughter a bit. Neytiri gets up, and walks to your side.

You look up, watching as the woman sits down next to you. Placing her hand on your back. "Y/n…have a question" neytiri speaks, you give her your full attention. "mmm I was wondering…would you like to sleep in our hut?" neytiri speaks, this gets neteyam and kiri's attention. "yesssss say yes" kiri says, hugging your arm. Neteyam was still holding the baby in his arms. This question makes him a little anxious, he kept quiet waiting for your answer. "Ahh mmm I don't know, I don't want to disturb" you say. "No honey… it would be my pleasure. I want you to be more comfortable, besides…I think you want to be in a better place" says Neytiri. "You're right…I accept" you speak, watching as a smile forms on neytiri's face. You swear you almost started to cry…she was so much like your mom. You missed her so much.

Neytiri got up from the floor, ready to leave. "I think I'll need help" you look at your thigh, the wound was still very fresh. Neytiri analyzes the situation. "Neteyam…why don't you help me carry her" Neytiri orders. Neteyam hands the baby to her mother, approaching you. Kneeling down, "If you allow me…" says neteyam, bringing one of his hands to your waist. And another under your thigh. Lifting you carefully, in bridal mode. Out of instinct, and to keep your thigh from stretching so much. You bring your arms around neteyam's neck, you were afraid of falling and hurting yourself. Neteyam tightens his grip, and holds you tighter. Neteyam held you very close, your face was inches away from his. He swear he could smell the scent of pine and something sweet, he loved it. "Ok…we are ready" says Neteyam. Neytiri says goodbye to mo'at and they all leave the hut. Not if before hearing how mo'at shouted. "Be very careful with her…I will come later to give you all the medicines". Everyone in the group continues walking towards the family hut. Neytiri was happy…stroking the baby's tiny head. But the movement of her son's tail caught her attention, it was very fast. And it was up… Neytiri chuckled to herself.

That same night…

Arriving at the hut, neytiri set everything up. You couldn't stay in a hammock, so she set up a nice trundle bed. Perfect for you and the baby to be comfortable. "And as I was saying… the thanator are the most dangerous" lo'ak speaks, the boy had introduced himself the first minute he arrived at the hut. He had been impressed with you, asking why you were so white and why your hair was like that. Neytiri had to tap him to get him to calm down and not bother you. On the other hand, you felt very comfortable, seeing that they had received you so kindly. Meanwhile neteyam was sitting somewhere on the side of the hut, watching you.

"Ma jake… thank you for accepting" says neytiri, Jake and neytiri were outside the hut talking. "Ma neytiri..don't worry. You know I don't mind helping…that's what we're here for. Besides," jake glances inside the hut, "She gives off a good vibe," says Jake. Neytiri places a hand on his arm, somewhat excited. "Exactly…I thought I was the one who felt that" neytiri laughs a little. Jake just stood there for a moment, watching how all the young people were getting along so well. Lo'ak and you were talking, kiri and tuk were playing with the herwi, well kiri was holding the baby and tuk was showing him her new toys. Even though the baby didn't understand anything. Until he noticed how your ears were turning red and you looked a little uncomfortable. "The girl looks a little strange…I think there's something wrong with her" jake speaks, neytiri looks at you and notices the same thing. Entering the hut quickly.

"Y/n…are you ok?" neytiri asks, noticing the same thing jake saw. "Ahh yes" you speak, somewhat shyly. You didn't want to intrude, this family was completely welcoming you. The least you could do was complain. "You're getting a little red…are you sure?" says neytiri, coming towards you. "Well…I'm a little hot" you say. And of course you were hot. Your clothes were not the same as what they were wearing. While the sully family wore lighter clothing, you had a fur top that covered your breasts. And your loincloth was made of a strong, somewhat furry fabric. "Baby… I think your clothes are making you hot," Jake says, coming towards you. "I think so" you giggle a little. "Well…I think I have a few pieces of clothing that would fit you" says neytiri. You nod your head, accepting the woman's proposal.

Jake takes the men of the family with him, so that Neytiri will have more confidence to help you change. With the excuse that they would help him look for what was missing for the dinner. Neytiri looked for one of the clothes that she had kept, which were decorated with feathers and some precious stones. They matched the loincloth. Kiri and Neytiri help you, you couldn't move much. But this felt so comfortable…they were treating you like part of their family, and you barely knew them. Or so you thought…you swear you knew them, it was a feeling you couldn't understand. "thank you" you speak watching as neytiri adjusts the last knot of your loincloth. "It looks great on you…you look beautiful" says Kiri. You felt a little strange…but this relieved the heat. After a while, jake came in accompanied by his son. "oh, wow…you look better now" says jake, holding a basket full of cooked fish. Neteyam felt that now he was the one feeling hot, as he came in he saw you sitting there. Seeing you looking very beautiful in the clothes of his people.

He could notice how you give him a quick glance giving him a smile, making him change his. He quickly ran to where his father was to help him. "ok… family today we are going to eat near Y/N" says jake, motioning for everyone to settle around you. Everyone takes a seat around you. Grabbing the utensils they needed to start eating. Dinner was going very well, everyone was having a great time. But something was bothering neytiri, she wanted to know more about you. "Y/n…sorry to ask this…but could you tell us what happened…and where is your partner? Mo'at told us a little about your clan…but she couldn't say what happened" speaks jake, making neytiri turn around in surprise. "No…y/n you don't have to" neytiri tries to apologize.

"Don't worry…I'll tell you" you let go of the pot you were holding. "One year ago… they came to our village. The humans came saying they needed a mineral…that only grows in our lands. Dad refused, and you know what happened." You take a breath, seeing how everyone was giving you their full attention. "The attacks and landings became more frequent, until what I never thought would happen occurred…I had seen it in one of my visions. But I thought no…it wasn't possible. But they attacked with everything they had" your eyes began to fill with tears. "Dad stayed fighting, while my mother helped me get out of the village, she told me to come here. Everyone…there was no one left alive. The families, the children…everything. "You lower your face, as the tears came down. You feel someone hug you, and that was Neytiri. Holding you by the shoulders, so that you were closer to her.

There was a short silence, until someone begins to speak. "And your partner?" kiri asks. You raise your head, wiping your eyes a little. "He died in battle when I was three months pregnant" you speak, neytiri could sense a bit of coldness when you talk about your mate. This caused her another question, this was a forced pairing…that had to be it, neytiri thought to herself. "And about the visions…" lo'ak is so interested in your story, all of you seemed interesting to him. "ooh…I am a seer, well an apprentice…my skill is not fully developed, I am still very young. I have visions of people and future events, I myself don't understand what happens to me sometimes" you laugh a little. This made sense now, that's what mo'at was talking about.

"In our clan we are very close with eywa, much more so than all the other clans. Eywa guides us and speaks directly to us." You speak, this makes neytiri raise her ears and look at jake with fascination. "But…that's not possible" says neteyam, you look at him and laugh a little at him. "Well, yes… it's a calling. It's a unique feeling" you speak, looking now at kiri, who is watching you. Understanding every word. "Well…it's all very impressive…and I understand what you've been through" jake says, touching your shoulder. "I'm glad you found our clan…I promise you'll be safe" jake gives you a smile. Oh, you could feel that…he wasn't quite a full-blooded na'vi. He was a mixture, you almost saw jake's whole life up to this moment. You stay quiet, and smile back. You get annoyed with yourself, your ability to see events, it wasn't something you could control. Jake started talking about something else, he wanted to change the subject. He knew this was a difficult topic to talk about.

After dinner…everyone got ready for bed. You were settling your herwin next to you. You felt strange, but happy to have peace of mind. As you tucked your baby in, with a blanket. You saw neytiri come up to you. "Are you feeling all right? Don't you need anything?" neytiri asks you. You smile and let her know you are comfortable, watching her say goodbye to you. You stand there, looking at the home decor, numbering the differences. You had so much to learn… you were beginning to feel melancholy. "Hey" neteyam speaks, you turn to look at him. "Did something happen?" you ask, watching as he bends down on his knee. "I didn't introduce myself properly… my name is neteyam" the boy extends his hand to you, you timidly but confidently hold his hand. And you finally recognize him… it's him. He is the boy from the lagoon. Your heart races a million times, and again you feel yourself blushing.

"I'm Y/N" you say, seeing how her face is drawing a nice smile. "Thank you for trusting us…I hope you feel comfortable" speaks Neteyam. You barely speak, nodding your head 'yes'. Neteyam laughs, as he adjusts your hair a little. "Rest," says Neteyam, getting up from the floor. But not before stopping and looking at you. "And yes…I think we've met before" he laughs…and walks back to his hammock.

It couldn't be…it could be, it was him.

p.s: I tried to explain as much as I could in this part, but I think the Y/N story is more complicated and longer than I thought. I think it's better if I tell it little by little. Tell me what did you think about this part?

Teyam babygurls: symptoms-of-moonlight , tru-blubelle, mashiromochi, ducks118, butterfly-ibuki

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know and I will try to fix it as quickly as possible. tag list is open, just let me know *3*//

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ichayalovesyou · 9 months ago

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Why Do Old-School TV Duos Have SUCH MLM Vibes?!

I think there’s something very specific about the formula and writing style of non-serialized/semi-serialized shows from the 60s to 80s that featured two grown men going on wacky dangerous adventures that makes my gay little literary analysis brain go absolutely off the wall bonkers. I’m trying to figure out why!

I’m writing this on my Trek blog because I don’t think this pattern in people actually shipping these types of relationships the way they do if fandom as we know it wasn’t born via TOS in syndication. That being said! I also think it has to do with the way these shows are designed that makes myself and others OBSESSED with a specific character dynamic that feels (to me) damn near impossible to replicate in modern television. In a way that’s more than just fandom, it’s in the way TV like this was written at the time!

Further explanation under the cut!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I think what it usually boils down to is this. There’s a charming protagonist whom without the series could not operate, frequently top billed or the title character! (See: Wild Wild West, Starsky & Hutch) BUT he doesn’t have anyone to play off of! So what do they do pretty much every single time? Give Mr. Idealized Vision of Time-Period Masculinity For Genre a second guy to rhyme with!

See but the other guy has to play opposite but parallel to our hypermasculine protagonist. So what frequently ends up happening is that in order to play off our “normal” guy, even though he’s also a white dude, is that he’s still somehow Other.

They’re always perfect for each other, and they always get into scenarios that would be written, shot and interpreted by conventional audiences as romantic IF either one of those characters were a woman! Especially at the time these shows were made in.

If the one is aggressive, the other is gentle. If the protagonist is violent, his counterpart is intellectual. If the one is stoic, the other is emotional. Which (while one size def doesn’t fit all) usually makes the second guy come off as much more queer-coded (and sometimes other minorities like neurodivergent/disabled etc) than the other because of the traits associated with masculinity vs gayness at the time! Our prime examples in these gifs are Spock, Hutch, Artemus, and also *BJ!

*(M*A*S*H is a bit of a unique case since the show flirts with queerness more openly in ways that people more into the series have explained better than me but I think it still fits the formula I’m discussing.)

Here’s the thing though right? We’ve got two best friends, and the show NEVER really feels right if one of them is missing unless the focus of the story is how A & B operate without each other while trying to find the other one. They stick with and rescue each other unfailingly in scenarios that might destroy a regular friendship.

Hell, there’s often stuff that would emotionally/physically destroy a regular person/character in modern media. But because it’s not serialized they always seem to pull through seemingly through the power of friendship alone or dealing with it off-screen! Emotional consequences? Yuck! (Unless it’s M*A*S*H or Starsky & Hutch, like I said, not monolithic)

Here’s the thing that some people might say throws a wrench into the interpretation I’m discussing. What about the absolutely non-stop parade of conventionally attractive women the main protagonist (and less frequently the supporting man) goes through?

I would reply: how many of those female characters actually emotionally impact our protagonists as characters long term?

The answer is of course, because it’s NOT serialized, almost none! Kirk can watch Edith Keeler get killed by a car accident and still be making eyes at Spock the next episode. Hawkeye can have a “life changing” romance with a Vietnamese humanitarian woman, then share a blanket with BJ next episode like she never existed!

The Doylist explanation of course is not just the fact it wasn’t serialized but also just, constant, blatant 20th century sexism. Which SUCKS!!! As well as not wanting a long term love interest to throw off the character dynamic of our duderagonists. It’s the 20th century tv equivalent of bros before hoes.

However the Watsonian explanation always seems to result in no love interest EVER being more important than what the two protagonists have no matter whether you think they’re queer or not. No attractive woman could make our reputed babe-hound protagonist abandon his buddy. There’s no earnest romance our more queer-coded supporting man doesn’t end (or get ended for him) often for the protagonist’s sake.

Now some of these women are incredibly well written and straight up GOOD matches for our guys. So why wouldn’t they get involved in something long term UNLESS!! They were in love with each other the WHOLE time?

What if protagonist (frequently the babe hound) doesnt know he’s queer, or knows but doesn’t know he’s in love with his bestie, or any number of similar fruity explanations? The supporting man also runs into this explanation but people tend to believe he’s already aware that he’s queer but either also doesn’t know he’s in love or is keeping it to himself because time-period homophobia and/or thinking (probably not unreasonably) that babe hound is straight?

Between the inherent closeness of being narrative foils. The regularly scheduled life or death drama creating sometimes insanely romantic (in the narrative if not a literal sense) drama between the two. The revolving door of weekly women they never seem to get attached to enough to leave one another. The non-serialized nature resulting in sparse personal information/history about the protagonists as a result.

I think between the very NATURE of the way tv shows were written at the time. Plus the way fandom was shaped by a dynamic that has rippled through how media works and is interpreted by fans for decades upon decades. It’s not hard to imagine getting really emotionally invested in the possibility of the protagonists being in love is a fantastic way to enjoy the media!

In conclusion, it’s really fun and easy to go “these bitches gay! Good for them good for them!”

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doodler16 · 27 days ago

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Hello, what is your opinion about Adam, Lute and Heaven in general (in terms of writing)?

I have been following your posts for the last week and would like to know your opinion on this topic (if it is not too much trouble).

Adam (in terms of writing): As much as I enjoy his presence, the man is a terrible villain and is way too similar to other characters like Angel Dust, Valentino, Vox, Velvette, and Alastor in terms of personality. He swears a lot, acts smug, sex jokes, egotistical, sarcastic, and acts like a man-child.

The worst part about Adam is that he has so much potential and you can do so much for him especially the way Vivziepop wrote him along with Adam’s connections to Eden, Charlie, Lilith, Eve, and Lucifer. He could’ve been an all righteous person who preaches the Bible and Word of the Lord. Adam could’ve also been this nice, chill guy but actually masks his true unhinged personality, leading Charlie and everyone on.

But sadly, Adam is cursed with the written by “Vivziepop meme™️” I wish Adam was more calculating and subtle about his intentions. Because straight out of episode 1, Vivziepop doesn’t even try to write a subtle villian. It’s annoyingly and painfully in your face that Adam is the villian/antagonist Charlie and Hazbin squad has to face first.

Adam doesn’t have a proper motivation regarding the extermination that the audience can at least understand. He’s like extermination equals entertainment. And it’s like that’s it? You do this for fun? Out and in context, Adam looks like a sadist. That’s like the equivalent of him saying I like kicking puppies for fun.

Adam easily could’ve had a much better motivation for why he does exterminations. For example: Adam does exterminations because of what happened in Eden. Lucifer ruined his eternal paradise and both of his relationships with Lilith and Eve. Or as another potential motivation for exterminations, it can involve Cain. Adam witnessing Cain’s punishment and believes it was Lucifer who did it, so he wants to make Lucifer suffer by killing his people permanently.

It also doesn’t help how dumbed Adam is. His way of thinking is also black and white despite me agreeing with him. I love the man and he has so much unlimited potential that is untapped.

Lute (in terms of writing): I like Lute, she also has major potential. Vivziepop can easily do a parallel between Vaggie and Lute. But, overall Lute is basically the heaven version of Vaggie and Millie. Their whole goal and personality orbits around the person they are close too. Don’t get me wrong, it could be an amazing and interesting story arc if Vivziepop wants to do that but I doubt she will do it.

And, it is sad to watch sometimes because I want to see them do something else that doesn’t involve orbiting the person they are closest to and being their bootlickers 96% of the time. Season 1, Lute is just there and I get the feeling she most likely be a static character.

Heaven (in terms of writing): I don’t like what Vivziepop did with Heaven. She dumbed down them and it’s annoying especially if you are Catholic or Christian.

What do you mean Heaven doesn’t know their own rules or what gets a soul to Heaven. That’s not morally gray, you are just making Hell look ten times better than Heaven. Even worse, Heaven has a good argument to counter against Charlie of why they do exterminations yearly and not to allow sinners in Heaven.

Hell is full of rapists, pedophiles, groomers, etc. Someone is Hell can easily fake their progress to get into Heaven. The fact that seraphim(s) more specifically Emily is calling sinners innocent is crazy. Does the Ten Commandments and the beatitudes not exist? Because they would be amazing rules for Heaven! Vivziepop doesn’t even have to chose one specifically, she can easily combine the Ten Commandments and Beatitudes together as an official rule for Heaven. Then can use the Seven Heavenly Virtues as respected higher ups in Heaven.

The fact that Heaven doesn’t have any hard days is weird in my opinion. You would think Heaven would be a nice community where they work hard and spread love too.

Oh wait, this is the same person who wrote this in her spin off show.

#vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #anonymous

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genericpuff · 1 year ago

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All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (A Prologue)

So I referenced a certain article in a recent reblog/ask response and I just need to talk about it because what the actual fuck-

This has to have been written by either a bot or a hater who's reached peak god tier level at playing the long con sarcasm game because NOTHING about this feels sincere or even factual. Much of it almost has to be read in a mocking tone for it to make any real sense.

It says "Lore Olympus" (literally in quotations) in just about every single paragraph over and over again and every single talking point revolves EXCLUSIVELY around Persephone, which I suppose comes as no surprise considering that seems to be all the comic - and its fanbase - cares about at this point.

I really love (/s) how Persephone's "evolution" is being naive and then 'blossoming' into an independent woman who relies entirely on the rich man who groomed her to solve all her problems.

Also all she's done since becoming Queen of the Underworld is abuse lower class people. That's the stuff feminist dreams are made of <3

While we're talking about the main leads, "poster child" is definitely a word for Hades, I think a more appropriate term would be "literal child". And boy howdy, 'god of consent' sure is a title to give the guy who ripped out a lower class satyr's eyeball and beat him half to death.

This man owns slaves, btw. And both he and his "powerful wife" are equally horrible to lower class people, especially women.

This is hands-down the funniest section of the article and we're only three bullet points in.

Thetis and Persephone have never even so much as spoken one word to each other outside of the courtroom that Thetis technically put her in after plotting against her for an entire season.

Eros is a man. Nothing wrong with that but it comes with the unintentional icky hilarity of implying that because Eros is the gay best friend, that means he's a woman.

They literally don't read this fucking comic-

Everyone always relies on this weird talking point of Demeter not being able to "let Persephone go"... y'all, she just didn't want Persephone to outright move to Olympus, she wanted her to commute. That was it! That was literally the only problem! She wasn't preventing Persephone from pursuing a higher education or telling her she wasn't allowed to work, she literally fucking encouraged it! And with the added later context of Persephone killing a bunch of mortals - and, ironically, the fact that Persephone was assaulted/put in harm's way by TWO SEPARATE MEN in the first two days of her time in Olympus - yeah, I don't blame Demeter for not wanting her daughter to move cold turkey actually LOL

Also hilarious that they claim Rachel has turned "tradition" into "innovation" when the only thing she's managed to do is set back modern feminism in her young adult readers by 80 years and re-establish misogynist brainwashing in her adult ones. Rachel, your fanbase was literally shipping a victim of abuse with her abuser just a few days ago.

oh boy this is uh

this is some cult shit ngl

and the "rewriting the script of Greek mythology" part is VERY concerning knowing what we know about Lore Olympus and who it was written by. This is literally cultural appropriation, full stop, and it exists because Lore Olympus - and works like it, made by people like Rachel - exists.

I can't even commit to the original theory that this was written by a bot because it all feels very pointed and intenetional. This is being written by someone who, at the very least, REALLY sucks at media analysis and writing, because the entire article is just "Lore Olympus, buzzword, Lore Olympus, buzzword, buzzword, Lore Olympus", it's like a white knight incantation for guilty virtue signallers who have zero clue what they're talking about. And at worst, yes, it's appropriation from someone who doesn't mind taking a culture's stories and myths and promoting their erasure by people outside of the culture like Rachel.

And that's it, that's literally the article lmao

*EDIT: There was a section here before addressing the writer of the article from a very opinionated POV that, while isn't unusual for what I do here, did feel necessary to remove after I was contacted by the article writer who addressed the flaws in their original article and is now seeking to correct them with revisions/an article rewrite. So I felt it only fair as a compromise to at least remove that section as it really doesn't have a whole lot to do with this post as a whole and can be removed without entirely ruining the flow of this analysis. If/when that article is rewritten, I'll be revisiting this post and my overall analysis !

And honestly, it's all really telling, because this does accurately reflect the state of the LO fanbase.

Not only do many of the people who defend this comic like it's their job not pick up on the blatant misogynist tones that are going on in its narrative (I can't even call them "undertones" anymore, they're no longer that subtle) but whether or not they even read the comic at all is up for debate with how much stuff they tend to get wrong in their own arguments and justifications. And this is something that's VERY regularly seen in the fanbase discussions, readers will constantly be unaware of things that happened because they skimmed through it at lightning speed just to see if Hades and Persephone kiss and so they can get the top comment on Webtoons so they can be "ahead of the fanbase". It's no wonder that Rachel has gotten used to getting away with retconning things because her fanbase didn't even read what she established the first time.

Rachel's fanbase was literally defending the romance ship of an abuser and his victim on the newest FP episode preview. When that FP episode came out two nights ago and Hera said, point blank, that he didn't love her but abused her, I could only think of that portion of the fanbase who was very audibly simping over Kronos in the IG comment section. Are they actually having their moment of shameful clarity now? Or are they just gonna move the goalposts and pretend that didn't happen?

I don't want to say anything bad about Shelby here because she really seems like she's fighting for her life on this site that she's trying to get off the ground, but a lot of her other articles also come across as very one-note while being peppered with buzzwords that make it seem like what she's talking about is "progressive" when it really isn't. Case in point, Lessons in Chemistry has been commonly criticized for not actually appealing to the demographic that its Mary Sue-ish main character is supposed to represent - women in STEM career fields.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Lore Olympus is not 'feminism', it's white feminism that is designed to appeal to predominantly heterocis white women who think the solution to misogyny is to willingly submit to it and accept the status quo - that it's "empowering" if the woman is smiling and having all her needs paid for by a man. Sure, I can accept that different women will be looking for different relationship dynamics, some women genuinely are happy being in a relationship where they support their husbands first and foremost. But can that truly be called feminism? Or is the real feminism the choices we make along the way that we should be given the freedom to make?

It says a lot about the folks who tend to regularly prop up LO on a pedestal like this as some "revolution in feminism" despite the contrary after spending more than just 30 seconds skimming the attention-grabbing art, and Shelby is just one of many. She's not the worst of the bunch, though.

That goes to someone else who I want to give proper light to in their own essay. Someone who definitely earned a good stern talking-to this past week and has, thankfully, had consequences dished out to her for her horrible actions towards queer POC writers.

If you know, you know. If you don't, buckle up.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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runnning-outof-time · 1 year ago

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There’s Something About These Grounds… | Tommy Shelby x Mrs Shelby & Reader

Request: no - written for @zablife ‘s 2k celebration and @little-diable ‘s 15k celebration

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Mrs Shelby & Reader

Summary: Mrs Shelby takes a walk and stumbles upon a dark secret that is hidden on the grounds of Arrow House. She's given a warning about the future of her family, a warning that makes her new husband wonder if she should even leave the house at all.

Warnings: language, drinking, smoking, paranormal themes, implications of past and future miscarriages (nothing in detail), implications of suicide (nothing in detail)

Word Count: 3317

A/N: I…I’m not 100% sure what this is, but hey, I finished it - I think we’ll call it my best attempt at writing something that’s the complete opposite of fluff haha. I’ve given Mrs Shelby a name…she’s an OC but reader is also present here. Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: Lee and Chi - congratulations on your amazing milestones!! I’m so thankful that you’re both part of this amazing community…I can’t imagine it without you! Thanks also to Chi for allowing me to play around with the prompt - it’s bolded/italcized in the story…I hope I still got the gist of it!

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Comment/Message Me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

The landscape got darker and more overgrown with each step Mrs Shelby took. She wondered why she'd decided to take a walk away from the manor that she resided in. At one point, she even considered abandoning her original idea and turning back to the house. But then she reasoned that anything would be better than being cooped up inside those dark walls for yet another day.

Her marriage to the man who owned the very estate she was walking on, Thomas Shelby, can only be described as a whirlwind. No one in either of their families knew of it happening until after the license was signed and they had taken a trip to Paris. What had bright promises at first now felt like the beginning of a prison sentence for the young woman.

It was Tommy's family that insisted they have the party that was taking place today. The bride was weary about it - she was never one to jump into the spotlight during social events, but Tommy's methods of convincing made it hard to say 'no'. He assured her that she'd be in control; that when she'd say that she'd reached her limit, the party would be over. It eased her worries when she agreed to it, but now that the day of the party was here, she was feeling uneasy once again.

So, in hopes to quell her building nerves, Mrs Shelby decided that she would escape the house and take a walk on its expansive grounds.

The landscape seemed to turn a darker shade of green the further she walked away from the manor, but she reasoned that the worry of being amongst some overgrown trees was affecting her much less than the worry of what would be happening later this evening.

She continued walking until she came upon a pond. The small body of water was surrounded by trees and shrubbery, and the fog that hung low over it added an eerie vibe to the atmosphere. As Mrs Shelby got closer to the pond, she noticed a woman standing in the middle of it.

"Hello?!" she called out, confusing quickly filling her as she walked closer to the water’s edge with caution. "Excuse me," she spoke again when the woman didn't respond or even turn to face her.

From her short distance away, she could see that this lady looked almost white, as if she'd been submerged in the cold water for too long and had lost all color. Her hair was wet and flat on her head, sticking to the skin of her shoulders that could be seen above the water.

Mrs Shelby felt a chill run through her body as she stayed focused on the mysterious woman, who still hadn't moved despite the other making her presence very known. "This is private property, you know," Mrs Shelby tried another direction, hoping that her voice held the authority that was needed to finally make the lady face her. But her words did nothing.

Frustration seeped into her bones as she willed herself to move even closer to the pond's edge. Maybe she didn't hear me, she reasoned as she prepared to call out again. But just as she opened her mouth, the woman completely submerged herself under the water, leaving not a trace of her behind. This made Mrs Shelby frantic. She looked everywhere - even kneeling down on the muddy ground and straining her eyes to see if she could spot her underwater - wondering how the lady could disappear from sight just like that.

The sudden voice that came from behind her made her jump.

"These woods are no one's property, darling." It had to be the woman who was in the water. Mrs Shelby was hesitant to turn and face the person, but when she did, she found the woman, who had disappeared just moments ago, standing beside her. She noticed that she was no longer wet, and was wearing a worn, white slip, something that was too cold to be wearing on a dark, autumn day. "They belong to nature."

"My husband would say differently," Mrs Shelby tried to stay calm, standing up and jutting her chin upwards slightly in hopes it would add to her act of confidence. She didn't want this woman to know that she was actually shaking in her shoes.

"Your husband does not know what he stands for," the woman was quick to say.

"Who-who are you and why are you here?" Mrs Shelby decided to ask, her voice faltering only slightly.

"My name is (Y/N)," the woman responded, "this is my home."

The second part of her statement made Mrs Shelby scoff slightly. "Impossible. My husband and I own these grounds. They've been in his hands for four years now," she spoke in a refuting tone.

"Don't be silly, Eloise. These grounds have changed hands many times," the strange woman countered, uttering a laugh of her own at the face that Mrs Shelby pulled when her name was said.

"How do you know my name?"

"I know things," (Y/N) spoke frankly. "I know things about you, about your husband. I know why your marriage occurred in the manner it did...it's not for the reason you keep telling yourself."

"I don't know what you mean..." Mrs Shelby wasn't sure if she actually wanted clarification.

"Tommy was lonely. He couldn't cope with himself, with his business and its demands. The whores weren't doing it for him anymore, and even though I told him that he could keep coming to see me, it wasn't enough for him. He needed someone who would be by his side constantly. Someone who could appease him physically. It's unclear to me why he chose you...since it seems you'd rather be away from him then by his side." (Y/N) ended her explanation by looking the other woman over, an unimpressed look present on her face.

"He and I love each other," Mrs Shelby tried to be indignant, but she didn't quite believe the declaration herself.

"That's what you try so hard to believe," (Y/N) snorted at the thought.

Mrs Shelby felt slighted by these words. She hastily tried to muster up the ability to take back the conversation, since it was clearly falling into (Y/N)'s hands. "We do. We've spoken of starting a family, of completing our home...a little brother or sister for Charlie." (Y/N) only laughed at what was said. Mrs Shelby scoffed at her reaction. "How dare you react in that way! This is not a laughable matter," she insisted, glaring at the grinning woman.

"You are so naïve to believe that it'll be that simple; that your wishes will be granted," (Y/N) stated, shaking her head. Silly woman, she thought.

"I don't see why they wouldn't be," Mrs Shelby furrowed her eyebrows at the other woman's cryptic statement.

"You've not lived here long enough to know what'll happen...to know what fate befalls every woman that sets foot on this property."

"What are you saying?"

"It's the land, Eloise. It's cursed. It took my babies, and it'll take yours too," (Y/N) words had an ominous tone to them, making Mrs Shelby shiver as she heard them. Nothing could have prepared her for what would come out of the other woman's mouth next: "it kept me here to make sure of it."

A mortified look formed on Mrs Shelby's face while a smirk formed on (Y/N)'s. The former of the two stayed frozen in her spot as the latter slowly retreated back into the trees that surrounded the eerie pond.

Even if Mrs Shelby wanted to, she couldn't ask the strange woman what her ominous message meant because (Y/N) had slipped completely out of sight. She'd practically vanished into thin air.

The conversation left Mrs Shelby reeling; questioning if any of it was even real. She tried blinking her eyes several times, wondering if doing so would do the trick of waking her up. Yes...maybe this is all just a twisted dream. But it wasn't. She was still standing out in the middle of the forest, the fog-covered pond still in front of her; the bottom of her dress still covered in the mud of the bank she kneeled on. So many questions were swirling through her mind as she grappled with what was real and what could possibly be made up.

She knew two things for certain: one, she couldn't stay out here a second longer, and two: she needed to speak to Tommy about this immediately.

Mrs Shelby was completely out of breath when she reached the doors to Arrow House. She rushed inside, squeezing herself through the people who were working hasilty to make sure finishing touches were in place before the party started. She gave them no thought as she frantically looked for her husband, moving so quickly through the crowd that she hadn't noticed he was in front of her until his hands were grabbing hold of her shoulders.

"Where're you running to, love?" Tommy asked, his brows furrowed as he took in the sight of his distraught wife. He watched closely as she took several breaths to calm herself down, and he placed pressure on her collarbones with his thumbs, hoping that it would aid the process.

"Tommy, I...I went out t-to walk and followed the, the path down to the trees, and then I walked further in and I just kept walking until I reached a p-pond, and I, I, I uh I didn't...I didn't..."

"Hey, slow down, Eloise," Tommy cut off his wife's frantic rambles with a steady voice, "catch your breath first before you talk again," he suggested, seeing her nod before he brought his hands from her shoulders up to her cheeks. He caressed them softly as he let his eyes drift over her body. "What's happened, eh? Why is your dress muddy?" he asked, his brows furrowing together again.

"I was telling you, I...I found a pond. And there was a woman in it."

"A woman?" Tommy was taken back by the information.

"Yes. She, she was in the water when I first saw her, but then she came to me and she, she...Tommy, we need to leave. We need to leave here, now," her voice might have been shaky, but she still said the final word with the dire emotion it needed.

"Why would we do that, darling?" he needed to ask, now full of confusion.

"We have to leave here if we want to have the family we talk about. We can't have a baby here, Tommy," the fear filling her body was present in her words.

"You're confusing me, Eloise," he bluntly said, hoping she'd get to the point of her worries and stop dancing around the problem.

"To keep them alive, Tommy," she spoke with a sense of urgency, "there's something in the woods...a woman...she said that she's going to take our babies."

Tommy took a few moments to let what was just said sink in. The cogs in his mind were now turning at the second mention of this woman. He knew now that it was no mistake made by his frantic wife. She must've encountered (Y/N). Just the thought of that happening made his blood run cold. He needed to think of a way to deflect this; to make her believe that this was nothing to be worried about. "I think you might have been outside for too long, love. Why don't you go upstairs and change for the party, eh?" he suggested, his eyebrows raised, showing that even though he'd asked a question, his suggestion wasn't actually up for debate.

"But I didn't...I know it wasn't..."

"Go on, love," he cut her off as she fumbled for the words, nodding his head towards the stairs. "Everyone's almost here."

Mrs Shelby bit on her lip as she fought to keep everything inside. It felt like she was on the brink of a breakdown, and Tommy surely had to see that. Why was he trying to diminish the situation? Didn't he care to know more of why she was reacting the way she was? Did he even want the family they had talked about? All of these questions were bouncing around Mrs Shelby's mind as her husband looked expectantly at her. There was no way that she could bring the conversation back now. It was over.

So she nodded her head ever-so slightly, silently agreeing with what he wanted her to do. That was all Tommy needed from her. He dropped his hold from her, leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips before he mumbled 'good' and left her side. Mrs Shelby stood there for a moment, still overwhelmed from everything that had happened. But there was only one thing she could do now: get ready for the party and hope for the best.

"Fuck," Tommy breathed as he paced the floor of his office. He brought the glass of whiskey up to his lips and drank the rest of it, setting the glass down just as the door to the room opened.

"Frances said you needed me," the voice of his sister called out before she walked in from behind the door.

"Yes, come in," Tommy answered, waving his hand to her even though she'd already entered the room, "shut the door," he said then, fishing the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"What's going on?" Ada decided to get right to the point. She was never one for beating around the bush, especially when her brother was so clearly being affected by something.

"Eloise just returned from a walk. She managed to find the pond," Tommy started, running his hand along the back of his head as he looked to the ground with a huff. His statement may have been vague, but Ada knew exactly what he was getting at.

"Oh, Tommy," she sighed in dismay. She watched her brother then, now seeing the stress and worry that was so clearly etched into his features.

"She told me she met the woman and that she talked to her," he gave more detail, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. "I don't know what I'm going to do to cover this up," he added, bringing the cigarette to his lips to take a long drag.

Ada stood in her spot, her arms crossed as she observed her brother. It didn't take much to notice that he’d already given this problem all of his attention. He may have seemed composed on the outside, but she knew that his mind was working on overdrive. "Maybe it's time you forgot about her," she offered a suggestion a few moments later.

"Forgot about who?" Tommy asked, not even bothering to raise his head from the couch's back.

"(Y/N)," Ada didn't hesitate in saying the woman's name. Hearing it made Tommy's head snap up so that he could look at his sister. He almost looked surprised at the fact that she'd dare say that name. "You have Eloise now. There's no longer a need to visit her anymore."

"She knows too much," he countered.

"Who?" Ada asked for specifics.

"(Y/N). She knows too much. Of me, of this land, of fucking everything. I don't want Eloise speaking to her anymore."

"What're you going to do then, forbid Eloise from leaving the house?" Her question was meant to be a joke, but it was one that made the lightbulb above her brother's head go off. She noticed it in the way Tommy moved, standing from the couch and stalking out of the room, on a new mission. "Fuck," she breathed with a sigh, knowing that his mind that been set and there'd be no changing it.

Ada wondered why Tommy cared so much about this woman; this person who was no longer living and breathing, yet was still chained to this world. He had told her about (Y/N) in depth: about how she lived a very unhappy life, how she'd gotten to the point where she had nothing left, how she went to that very pond and walked into it knowing that she wouldn't be coming back out.

What Ada didn't realize was that Tommy felt like he was connected to (Y/N); like she was the only person who understood everything he'd been through. Tragedy understood tragedy, and both (Y/N) and Tommy's lives had been filled with it.

So would Tommy really insert more control over his loving wife’s life just because she’d stumbled upon a spirit lurking on the grounds of their estate? That question may not be so easily answered.

Despite the events of the day, the party went smoothly. Tommy, while still having to play host alongside Eloise, managed to speak to his wife about the adventure she'd taken earlier. He convinced her that they wouldn't be moving, and even though she didn't quite understand his reasoning, she agreed to never again walk past the gates of Arrow House's garden; thereby relinquishing her ability to leave the immediate property.

Eloise was able to fall asleep the second her head hit the pillow, exhausted from everything that had happened. Tommy was still wide awake late into the evening. He had one more thing he needed to do.

It didn't take him long to find the pond on the property, and it was no surprise that (Y/N) was waiting for him when he reached the water's edge. She waded towards him, a smile gracing her lips as she stopped in front of him. "I knew you'd come back," she said, speaking in that sweet voice that he'd come to find comfort in. But he couldn't let it calm him this time.

"You shouldn't have spoken to her," his words were abrupt, hoping that she'd get the point and they'd move on.

"I just had to let her know," (Y/N) didn't let it go; instead she explained her side. Her smile dropped into a pout as she tipped her head slightly, feigning innocence.

Her look didn’t faze him. "You'll not speak to her again.”

"I'm not sure I'll be able to help it if the option presents itself," her smile returned, and any trace of innocence was gone.

"It won't...she won't be coming down here anymore," Tommy stayed assertive, still not letting her switch faze him.

"So it'll just be you then?" (Y/N)'s eyebrows raised.

"It'll just be me. Forget you ever saw her," he finished off with one more succinct statement before turning to leave her. Even if he wanted to, he knew he couldn't stay out here tonight.

"She knows what'll happen," (Y/N)'s voice stopped him before he could leave. "She knows about the curse. Knows what'll happen if you try..." she trailed off, not even finishing her sentence because he already knew what she meant.

Silence hung in the air as he stared her down, watching for any subtle movements she could make. "Make it so it doesn't,” he said after a few beats, not waiting to turn and walk away from the pond without allowing her to have a chance to respond.

"I'll see you soon, Tommy," she called after him, smiling as she watched him walk away.

He knew that there was no way she could make things change, even if she wanted to. There was something about these grounds...something that was darker than anything he'd ever known. But he'd be lying if he said he wanted to leave them.

Eloise may not like it, but at the end of the day, she didn't have a choice. She'd stay locked inside of Arrow House so that Tommy could ensure that his two worlds wouldn't collide again.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @emotionalcadaver @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @dlmlufics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @brummiereader @areyenotfondofmelobster @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife

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scarletttries · 2 years ago

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Romeo Take Me Somewhere We Can Be Alone (Roman Roy Succession Request)

Part Two Available Now!

Pairing: Roman Roy (Succession) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Requests: "Roman x Mattson!reader? Forbidden/secret relationship?" AND "Perhaps some smut for Roman Roy? Maybe Roman being on the more submissive side? Thank you!"

Warnings: Smut, spoilers for the new season.

Word Count: 2.7k

Author's Note: Oh Roman, I'm going to pretend I haven't seen the latest episode so I can continue fancying you without having to think critically about this piece of media 🙃 Thank you to the ABSOLUTE genius that suggested a Mattson! reader, forbidden romance vibe, I loved the request and enjoyed writing this so much, I've gone full Romeo & Juliet! (More like Rome-eo, hahaha I felt like a genius for this). Also this is my first Roman smut so it was a bit of a challenge to try and keep it in the same tone i've written Roman in so far, but I hope you enjoy! As always keep the requests coming :D

Romey-o take me somewhere we can be alone

"Have you had enough of this little ass-kiss fucky fest yet?" You watched the little bubble pop up on your phone and looked across the party in reflex, scanning the crowd until you saw his smug little smile directed your way. You unlocked your phone to reply, scrolling up to glimpse the hundreds of messages between the two of you since you'd met that day at the woodlands company retreat three weeks ago.

***

"Problems working with your older brother? I can relate." You stepped out into the night air to find Roman hunched over the railing of the small balcony, hands threading through his hair so firmly he threatened to pull it out in clumps. His shoulders grew a little less tense as your voice washed over him, hands falling to the edge of ledge as he gestured for you to join him.

"So you're the younger Mattson? You could have fooled me, on account of you not being a massive dick." He laughed at the words but it came out hollow, watching his breath form a white wisp in front of his face in the cold night air.

"Thanks, I try my best to be an actual human being. I hear out of all the Roys you're the most favourable to be around too."

He turned his head sharply to really look at you, the sincerity in your tone and the measured kindness of your words catching his attention.

"Oh yeah?" He probed, hoping another almost compliment would fall from your lips before he did something to ruin this moment. Truth was he'd spend half the weekend watching the way you floated through the conference, poised, humble, soft; the antithesis of your brother Lucas. And so he'd avoided you, sure that any moment spent in your presence would only tarnish the shining light you carried so effortlessly.

"I like to think I've got good instincts for people, and I think there's something about you that's different from the rest of your family. And I mean that in a good way." You were thoughtful as you spoke, treading lightly around the slick man in front of you, sure that one wrong move would have him sprinting back inside, spitting venom in his words as he went.

"That's actually pretty nice to hear these days." Roman replied after a pause, now standing squarely to face you, searching your eyes for any hint of deception and mockery and instead finding a tranquility that washed over him in waves as you returned a smile he hadn't realised he was sharing.

"I'm really sorry about your father by the way. And I'm even more sorry that you have to be here right now." You grimaced at your brother's insistence that this weekend go ahead as planned, every ounce of humanity seeming to leave him the moment his bank account saw a certain amount of zeros. Roman nodded at your words, the taste of condolences still unfamiliar and bitter in his mouth, cursing his father for ruining yet another interaction for him, even from beyond the grave. You read his silence for the pain that it was and set your hand gently on top of his where it rested on the railing.

"Well I should go back inside before any of our siblings accuse us of fraternising with the enemy, but it was nice to meet you. I really mean that."

Panic rose up in the back of Roman's throat as you turned to move away, not yet ready for this moment to end, feeling better than he had in weeks. He ignored the voice crying out inside him to stay strong, to isolate himself, to trust no one, and instead caught your rising hand with his.

"Maybe we could fraternise just a little longer.

***

And so you and Roman had spent an evening sharing in the perils of being a younger sibling in your strange corporate worlds, swapping numbers and an unspoken agreement to keep this from your families as you departed the next day, Roman touching the spot on his cheek you had blessed with a gentle kiss when he snuck into your treehouse to say a real goodbye. And so followed weeks of secret texts and furtive phone calls, pouring out your souls until finally you were back in the same room, parted in a hotel lobby by a sea of political donors and movers and shakers, but feeling only one pair of eyes on you.

"I thought you'd never ask." You sent back in response, locking eyes with him once again and tipping your head toward an emergency exit you had checked led to a service elevator. From opposite sides of the room you each slipped through the crowd, trying your best to be unseen, aware that any of these prying eyes could collapse what you had delicately built with a single passing comment. As you reached the door you did a final scan to ensure there were no Waystar or GoJo members nearby who could catch a glimpse of this subtle rendezvous, before backing through the door yourself.

Roman stood waiting between the open elevator doors, looking almost bashful as you dashed towards him, vanishing into the small metal room as he let the door slide shut behind him.

"Thanks for holding it." You couldn't help the anticipation loaded in your tone, facing Roman and finding him stood barely an inch away from your blushing face.

"I had a feeling we were going to the same floor." He breathed out, eyes wide and hands shaking as they rose to brush either side of your face, the adoration clear in the gentle way his thumbs stroked your cheeks.

Before either of you could think your way out of something good, you leant forward, closing the gap between your lips and sending a whirlwind of warmth and glitter spinning through your bodies, the reunion more than worth the wait. His head bobbed forward to return the gesture, body following the movement until he was pressed entirely against you. It wasn't rough, or frantic, or urgent. It was like deep down you knew you'd be doing this forever, so you had all the time in the world to sweetly caress the nape of his neck, parting his lips for a content sigh that only let you taste more of him.

By the time the lift doors opened on your floor Roman could hardly remember where he began and you ended, unsure how he ever coped being half way across the planet from you, needing to keep you as close as he could for every second you could steal tonight. You could feel it too, the desperate pull of your heart towards him, the air of secrecy that only made you want him more, this forbidden fruit the sweetest you would ever taste.

You could feel his cheeks brush against yours as he fought back a smile at finally having you in his arms, and the physical confirmation you had been feeling this overwhelming chemistry too. He would have berated anyone else for believing in love at first sight, but as you rested your forehead softly against his, feeling the joy emanating between you, he didn't think this could be anything else. When you pushed the jacket free of his shoulders, helping him shrug away the fabric until it crumpled on the floor, he had to stop himself from pulling away. Not because he didn't want this with you. It was really the opposite; he couldn't remember ever feeling this way, ever wanting someone to be so close to him, to feel every part of him, and now he wanted that more than anything with you. But he was scared of being vulnerable, and insecure in his inexperience, completely unsure what real intimacy could even look like.

As you worked through the buttons on his shirt, you could see the gears whirring in his head, the unmistakable fear and excitement of a man that's seen a hard-drive's worth of porn but never felt the touch of a person that genuinely cares about them.

"We can stop?" You offered, pulling your hands away from his shirt, only for him to vigorously shake his head and rip it off himself, a stray button clattering across the floor, disrupting the heavy silence.

"I want to." He insisted, his eyes full of desperate desire as you brought your hands to his now bare chest, his heart hammering in anticipation inside. Unsure of what to do next, Roman firmly grabbed at your ass, voice wavering as he tried to take control, feeling like that should be his role,

"Do you like that, you fucking slut?" Both of your faces seemed to contort in discomfort as the words tumbled out of his mouth, his hand quickly releasing and his eyes clenching shut in embarrassment.

"Sorry Rome, I don't even think you like that?" You questioned softly, bringing your fingertips to sweep delicately over the creases in his forehead, his brow slowly unfurrowing as he blinked his eyes open to see you again.

"Fuck, sorry, I was trying to, you know, talk dirty, be sexy." He waved his hands in a gesture of uncertainty as he spoke, surprised you weren't laughing at him or taking the opportunity to run for the door.

"You know talking doesn't have to be degrading to be sexy?" You replied, the calm, confident smile on your face matched by the alluring look in your eye leaving Roman feeling like a deer in headlights, but praying the car will crash right into him.

"Oh yeah?" He gulped, eyes wide as you nodded, pushing him gently so he could step backwards towards the end of the bed. He let himself drift in your current as your touch laid him backwards, every wave of contact soothing his nerves.

"Can I show you?" You breathed in his ear, settling your thighs either side of his legs, feeling all the more powerful for being fully dressed as his bare chest heaved beneath you.

"Please." He begged softly, letting his eyes flutter shut as your lips found his again, fingers tracing a path down his stomach until they reached his belt.

"I'm so glad I got to see you tonight." You sighed against his lips as you began to undo the buckle, feeling his hips twitch, reacting to even the slightest touch. His head leant forward, trying to chase your lips as you spoke, needy for the taste of your kiss as you released the zip and buttons in your way.

"Me too." He eventually sighed out as your lips moved out of his reach, mapping a course across his cheek until you reached the edge of his jaw, applying a little more pressure until you heard the low rumble of moan escape his lips.

"I like hearing you enjoy yourself." You purred, confidence building as he relaxed against your touch, submitting to your control, putty in your hands. Marking a sweet constellation of kisses over his neck you slowly slipped your hand inside his boxers, running one finger over the length of him and feeling him buck up to meet your touch. Roman had never felt both so excited and so relaxed at the same time, never this comfortable with someone exploring his body before, but feeling like he wanted to give every inch over to your control, sure your loving touch could put all the broken pieces of him back together.

You wrapped your hand around his hard length, pumping over him a few times to gage his reaction. His eyebrows scrunched down towards his nose, lips parting as a moan seemed to reverberate through his whole body.

"Does that feel good?" Your tone was sweet, if not a little teasing, sucking on a spot on his throat that seemed to leave him barely able to spit out an 'uh-uh' in response.

"Good, I want to make you feel good, Roman. Will you let me make you feel good?" You praised, bobbing your head down to his chest and picking up the pace of your rubbing hand. Ability to think and speak quickly surrendered, Roman just nodded, for once unable to think of a quippy comeback and just enjoying someone else taking control and being with him so intimately. He'd touched himself like this hundreds of times, thinking cruel, perverse little thoughts the whole time until he was left sitting in a puddle of his own self-contempt. But with you it felt like something new entirely, something positive, and warm, and with each soft praise and gentle kiss that poured from your lips and landed squarely on his chest he could feel his heart lifting, thinking maybe there's a reason he'll only ever thought of it as 'fucking' and not 'making love'.

Your lips drifted down to his chest, gingerly placing a kiss on one nipple and smiling at the way he squirmed under you, eyes now staring down at you in full adoration like you were the most wondrous miracle he could have dreamt of. You could feel his cock starting to twitch in your hand, cooing over him again, sure this wouldn't be the last time the two of you spend a night hiding in the sheets together.

"You're doing so well, Roman. Good boy."

"You feel - so - good." He panted out, the praise bringing him close to the edge before he could really think enough to stop it. Ignoring your own desire stirring up inside your stomach, you gripped your hand on him a little firmer, leaving the other to trace faint circles over his chest, the lingering damp of your kisses only making him more sensitive. Crashing your lips back against his you swallowed his moan before breathing out,

"Cum for me, Rome, please." His lips pressed hard against yours as his hips started to shake, unable to hold back for a second longer and spilling hot white ropes across his stomach, almost whimpering at his sensitive release, overstimulated but still whining the second you released your grip.

His hands reached up to capture your face, somehow trying to portray a lifetime's worth of gratitude and affection in a single overwhelming kiss, before finally releasing you to breathe. As you rose up onto your knees, surveying the smiling fool of a man lying beneath you, you couldn't help but laugh at the state of both of your suit trousers, marred with streaks of sticky white.

"We might need to hide up here for a while until we get cleaned up and dried off, or this might be hard to explain."

"You don't think we could say two seperate waiters happen to get lucky?" Roman rebuffed, pulling a disgusted face as he wiped a finger over the fluid pooling on his stomach.

"Or one waiter got very lucky?" You suggested with a smile, Roman using every ounce of remaining strength to sit up until his lips could find their way to yours.

"No-one's that lucky, so I guess we better stay hidden. I reckon there's a lot more stuff you could show me anyway." Roman's eyes drifted down your body eagerly, wondering exactly what else he'd been missing by never trying it with the right person.

"You don't think the party will miss us?" You teased, pretending to bat away his eager hands.

"What party?" He scoffed, letting you capture him by the wrists and pulling you back to lie with him, falling so you pinned his wrists either side of him, a position he was more than happy to end up in.

"What about our families?" You couldn't help the worried tinge in your voice as you remembered the seemingly insurmountable barrier that stood between yours and Roman's lives. With unusual sincerity he gazed up into your eyes and said softly,

"Fuck 'em, you're my family now."

#writing #fanfiction #one shot #requests #roman roy angst #roman roy fluff #roman roy imagine #roman roy x reader #roman roy #succession imagine #succession hbo #succession #succession headcanons #succession requests #succession roman #roman succession #reader insert #gender neutral fanfic #gn!reader

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burningvelvet · 8 months ago

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I finished Moby Dick. So, to continue my former post(s) documenting my thoughts, here we are (spoilers ahead):

captain ahab: i am once again asking hast thou seen the white whale

Narrator, for the 5 millionth time describing captain ahab: "MONOMANIACAL. MONOMANIAC. MONOMANIA."

I was thinking "the homosexual themes everyone talks about are really exaggerated apparently…" and then I got to the chapter about sperm squeezing

Stubb meeting with the French in chap 91 had the exact vibe of a filler episode on a comedy sitcom

there are a lot of moments that reminded me of The Office ngl like i could just imagine stubb in the little interview chair just talking. so much meme material. he's seriously just doing his own thing. the little random characters like the blacksmith and carpenter just talking shit and side-eyeing ahab in the background lmaoooo

Saint George didn't kill a dragon, it was a whale #THETRUTHREVEALED #WHALETRUTHERS

It would have been hilarious if the British people told Ahab that they already killed Moby Dick already before he could get to it. I was so hoping that would happen. Bonus points if it was the Rachel after he'd turned them away.

Ahab discusses the topic of madness a lot. It's almost like he's… mad...

I vote Ahab for the most Byronic hero to ever Byronic… Heathcliff and Rochester have nothing on him… The origin of the Byronic hero, Byron's titular character from the narrative poem Childe Harold, is literally mentioned by name in the novel and had to be a blatant inspiration - it could not be more obvious! (I have yet to encounter the famed Byronic heroes of Russian literature, most notably Eugene Onegin, a work where Byron is also blatantly name-dropped).

Everyone thinking Queequeg was dying and having a coffin made to his measurements and filled with grave goods at his direction and then him literally climbing into the coffin to test it out and then waiting silently to die…. then all of a sudden getting better and saying he chose to recover bc he remembered he had something on his to-do list….. iconic

Ishmael referring to Queequeg as "my Queequeg…" omg. Queerqueg

Queequeg drawing figures like the ones on his tattoos omg… au story where Queequeg is an artist/tattoo artist when???

I was literally saying "AWWWWW" out loud when Ahab and Pip were having their little moments

The irony of Ahab abandoning the Rachel then it coming back for Ishmael… the coffin lifeboat… etc… good stuff…

okay ahab is my man but yeah he was an asshole to the captain of rachel.

also feel bad for tashtego. he wanted that gold doubloon so bad and ahab was like SIKE, MOTHERFUCKER! umm tashtego did not get cut out of a whale by queequeg to deal with ur shit ahab!

Once again wanting a Black Sails/Moby Dick AU… I found this essay about the similarities between Flint/Ahab https://ijms.nmdl.org/article/view/22389/14361

They only have like 2-3 little moments together but like… Starbuck/Ahab kind of outdoing Ishmael/Queequeg there for a moment… chaps 132/134… oh my godddddddddddddd whyyyyyyy

Captain Ahab's moments in chapters 36/37 AAAAAHHHHH you will see me being normal about this

I noted some of my favorite Ahab moments/chapters and they are 36/37/41/70/99/108/109/113/115/116/119/125/129/132/134/135. Like I may seriously just re-read those chapters (no offense to Melville's whale facts, Stubb's jokes, & Pip's insanity)

the end is kind of similar to the great gatsby in the sense that you finally realize the entire novel was actually written for him to cope with his grief-related trauma & then suddenly it all makes sense. the lingering, the sentimentality regarding seemingly insignificant details or people, the meandering/digressing/procrastinating getting to the end, etc.

there are actually several moments -- i don't know if he actually referred to ahab or the others in past-tense specifically, but there were several moments where i felt like i kind of thought he was giving away the end before he did (it wasn't a shock to me bc i read about the end prior, but still)

#moby dick #herman melville #my reviews #reading opinions #book thoughts #book opinions #american literature #english literature #literature #lit #classic literature #captain ahab #melville #books #reviews #bookblr #spoilers #moby dick spoilers

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yoonmetogether · 4 months ago

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Not In the Cards Prologue

pairing: dirty cop!hoseok x mob boss!seokjin (rest of the story will feature bodyguard!yoongi x CEO!fem reader) genre: mafia summary: a tragic love affair sets the stage and unfolds the story yet to come. warnings: angst!!!!!, hurt/comfort, smut (not explicit), family drama, troubled childhoods, parental loss, trauma, su!c!dal thoughts, mentions of violence and murder (blood/guns), panic attacks, drug addiction/rehab, everyone is going through it, alcohol, weed smoking, age gap, borderline stockholm syndrome (whoops!) wc: 6.7k 😀 this is a loaded chapter, so i apologize ahead of time if it comes out like an info dump lol also reminder, Angel is reader's pseudonym minors pls dni, nsfw

teaser l prologue l ch.1 play nice I prelude. strangers 1/2 l ch. ii I

“Hey, agent Jung, are you busy?”

Hoseok peers up from his laptop to the rookie poking his head into his office.

“What’s up?” Taking it as permission to enter, the rookie looks behind him at the hallway before stepping in and shutting the door, fidgeting nervously with a manila folder in his hand.

“Um, I have something,” he murmurs quietly, and Hoseok’s fingers freeze above the keyboard. Glancing back up, the rookie stares at the ground as he stays in place in front of the door. Hoseok sighs and sits back in his chair, stretching his hands cramped from hours of typing up reports. This can’t be good.

"Don’t just stand there, bring it over."

“Right,” the rookie squeaks, rapidly shuffling forward and holding out the folder with a slight bow. Hoseok winces at the intimidation the rookie clearly feels from him and he lowkey hates how he’s grown a reputation of being a hard ass.

Nevertheless, he accepts the folder and silently prays it isn’t what he thinks it is but once he opens it and sees the face of the man already tattooed in his mind, he has to hold back a series of curses. His jaw ticks as he leans forward to flip over the many sheets of paper holding information to the case of the alleged son of the Crow don, filled with leads and scrappy evidence gathered over years of investigations that he once was a part of as a rookie himself.

“What are you showing me?” He grumbles, thinking he would be looking at some new report of a half-assed lead but there's nothing in here that he hasn't already seen and spent sleepless nights practically memorizing.

The rookie clears his throat and points to the second half of the folder, quickly glancing over his shoulder as if someone had suddenly appeared behind him.

“I found a copy of the warrant the CID is drafting up.”

Hoseok is glad for the countless hours he's spent training himself to pass polygraph tests, otherwise his heart would be racing out of his chest and there would be nothing but panic written all over his face. Criminal Investigative Division, the office he climbed himself out of to serve in the CIA instead, getting away from domestic law enforcement to try and keep a low profile.

The rookie, a seriously intelligent and experienced cyber tech, uses his employment to hack into the intelligence agency databases in order to keep Hoseok informed about the CID's investigation into the Crown organization that holds the northern cities by the throats, poisoning the streets with internationally traded drugs, military-grade weapons, and counterfeit goods, all for lower-hierarchy syndicates to play with in the black market and make a buck for themselves. The CID has been going after the don, Kim Dongsoo, for years, trying to take him down for hundreds of pages of blue and white-collar crimes, but thanks to generational power and sickeningly innumerous wealth, the pockets of politicians, cops, judges, and lawmakers have been lined by the don and it's hard to pin him down with any kind of conviction, since most of the evidence would have to be illegally obtained and therefore inadmissible in court. And now that the mob boss suddenly passed away, the CID turned their attention to his successor, Kim Seokjin, the face staring up at him from the manila. Or Atlas, as he’s known on the streets.

Hoseok suddenly stands up, gripping the folder in a way that crinkles the papers. He leans forward and doesn't miss the way the rookie gulps.

"Are you stupid? Bringing this here to my office when anyone could snatch this right out of your hand to have a look? Do you want to screw me over?" The rookie looks like he's shaking in his boots in response to Hoseok's menacing tone and piercing glare. Hoseok misses the time when he used to be the fun, goofy agent around the office.

(He blames it on the man who trained the sunny disposition out of him ever since he'd been forced to go down this dirty rotten path. D, the one who has a scar over his eye and shoots looks that could kill, who Hoseok had to learn to not be scared of. Now, they’re practically best buds; if there can even be such a friendship in this line of work. Sometimes the only fun Hoseok has is holding over D’s head the fact that he could arrest him at any point and lock him up for life. In return, D reminds him how he could snipe him between the eyes and in the balls from two skyscrapers away. But Hoseok knows the man is capable of far worse things - like round-housing him until he folds up like a pretzel, neatly slitting his throat to bury him in scattered locations without a trace of DNA, and even running him off the road going 200 kph, leaving without a scratch on his car or a burn on his tires. Not that he could actually do anything since Hoseok has been fucking the man they both call boss who fills their bank accounts. But he'll never find out that Hoseok gets a few more zeroes tacked on every month thanks to that same man. Well, play one game of poker and D could drain him of every last penny in the blink of an eye. Hoseok is shit at poker.)

"Sir, everyone's gone for the day," the rookie stutters and Hoseok whips his attention out of his daze to the window, finding it is indeed very dark outside, and then takes notice of the time on his laptop, indicating how fast the day had gotten away from him. He sharply exhales and drops the folder on the desk, sitting down with a plop to rub his hands over his face as exhaustion settles heavily in his bones.

"Next time, find me outside the building, or I'll have your job. Understand?"

The rookie rapidly nods, significantly paler, and Hoseok dismisses him with a wave of his hand and not a single word. Not even bothering to tell him that his offshore bank account will receive an exuberant reimbursement for his work because the rookie already knows that, and it's the only reason that he comes back to deal with Hoseok’s moody ass. He waits until his mole shuffles out and the door clicks shut to collapse in his chair, mind starting to race as he thinks of his next move.

One thing is for certain. This is his excuse to see Kim Seokjin.

Shutting off his laptop and gathering all his files into his briefcase because he's not one to stop working when the day is done, he quickly mulls over the contents of the warrant, looking for any reason the judge would have not to sign it, and drops it in the shredder with a vengeance when he finds none. He shreds the rest of the file and carries out the scraps to burn in the fireplace back home.

Once he pulls into his garage, he routinely checks his surroundings as he presses the button to lower the door, and when he's safely locked alone inside, he finds the panel he installed under the steering wheel to fish around for the early-2010s android burner that has only one contact, listed under 'astronaut.'

cabin this weekend? sent 21:22

Hours later when he's in bed, in his failed attempt to sleep before 4am, he puts the battery back in the phone and checks that he received a message just thirty minutes ago. For the first time all day, maybe even all week, all month, he feels lighter.

see u <3 received 3:36

He takes out the battery once more and puts the phone under his pillow. He lays his head down and tries to sleep but his anxious, racing mind has him slipping out of bed and packing for the overnight road trip, suitcase full of cozy sweaters and joggers. He won't be leaving until well into the evening, but he wants to be ready. He's looking forward to the 2-hour drive, but not the earful he'll be getting from his mother for canceling family plans at the last minute with vague lies about working overtime on a case. That's something he's had to get used to doing, lying to his family and friends. But he's worked through that, knowing there's no way they'll ever be able to understand all the risks he's been taking all these years. Back then, when he was a different, more honest person, he wouldn't have understood either. Now, with the access he has to multiple bank accounts which hold numbers that could support him and his family for at least nine generations to come, he tells himself it's not all for nothing. Even though he's not doing it entirely for the money. No, that's just a bonus. It's for the man he's going to drive up a mountain to see. A man who appears in the forefront of his mind any time he gets a second to close his eyes. A man he'd die for, who he hopes would do the same for him.

That's what this is all for.

Around eight that night, at a stoplight, Hoseok whips out his burner and types up a quick message to 'astronaut' that he's almost there. He smiles when he receives a grainy, irrelevant cat meme in response and drops the phone in the console as soon as the light turns green.

Driving up the steep hills, he soaks in the sight of blankets of snow that line the sides of the road and the trees. He knows this could be the last time he'll take this route that makes him look forward to the cozy fireplace waiting for him at the cabin, started by the man who makes his heart just as warm. A string tightens there when he worries it won't be long until he'll be forced to douse it.

The road is long and dark so his mind starts to wander, thinking back to how he ended up here.

He had just turned 25 when he was assigned to infiltrate the mob, acting as a hijacker of trucks and ships coming in and out of the harbor. He was sure it was a hazing thing, getting the ambitious rookie into a semi-dangerous situation to see if he had what it takes. He found out a bit too late that he should've been smarter. He slipped up and his one mistake landed him in a windowless van with zip ties around his wrists and a sack over his head that only came off once he was thrown onto a cold, concrete floor. After he adjusted his vision to the harsh bright lights, his breath was completely stolen from him when he realized he was kneeling before a man whose face belonged in a museum. He barely registered he was in a dungeon of sorts, or the suited guards packed with illegal weapons surrounding him, too busy taking in the sight of the glory that was Atlas. Behind him was a younger, doe-eyed boy who was practically the spitting image of the taller, more muscular man, and Hoseok assumed this to be his brother, what with the way he stared at him as if learning every move he made so he could one day be like him. And that was confirmed when Atlas let him throw the first few punishing punches and kicks to let Hoseok know just what he'd gotten himself into.

He held it together when he was interrogated and forced to beg for his life, seeing as he'd been made as the pig cop he was, and just as he thought he'd never see the light of day again, he and everyone around him were surprised that the mob boss did not decide to spill his blood right there on the stained floor, but gave him the option to die or become an informant, a mole, a dirty cop for his benefit instead. And of course he chose the option to live, even if it meant he would spend the rest of his breathing days in paranoia, anxiety, and fear. At least he'd be making more money than he could ever imagine.

Since he had been found out, he came up with a different story to tell his boss that didn't include being caught by the mob's successor, which ended with him being taken off of the case and sent into witness protection until further notice. And that landed him on another continent in a secluded location, where no one, not even his mother, knew he was there. So imagine his surprise when three authoritative knocks pounded on his door one day and there stood none other than Kim Seokjin. But he shouldn't have been surprised. Not when he knew that the don's son had the resources to find him. Hell, Hoseok probably had colleagues who were puppeteered by him and Jin was there to add him to more lines of strings.

And to do this, Jin set him up with Namjoon, an esteemed lawyer who doubled as a computer science engineer, producing the Crow’s digital landscape to increase their market using cryptocurrencies. Namjoon trained and tutored Jungkook, Jin's younger brother who once broke Hoseok's nose, since Jin complained he was too old for all that technology, but really it was a reason to get Jungkook off the streets for the time being. He worked with Namjoon to keep out traces of evidence in the CIA system that could lead back to Jin and the don, using his police access to wipe cameras, intimidate witnesses, and bribe judges and criminal lawyers. After a year, Jin introduced him to the man who called himself D, and they worked together to scope out other moles in the syndicate, the ones who worked against them, whether they were soldiers or associates, allies or rivals, and paid close attention to the guards employed to Jin's security team, and eventually his little brother's. He became the bad guy and even though the guilt and regret has taken years off his life, he doesn't care. Because he's doing all of this to protect Jin.

Hoseok learned that Jin was eight years his senior, but that didn't stop him from pining after him. He likes to think that it wasn’t some kind of Stockholm syndrome because Jin technically gave him an option to work for him or not (fucked up as it was) and employed him with a salary he'd never be able to spend in one lifetime. He could've killed him, but didn't. Instead, he arranged private, secret meetings that not even his personal guard knew about, under the guise for Hoseok to provide updates but more often than not, they would end up drinking and smoking and sharing stories and parts of themselves with each other. Jin does have a charm and a sense of humor, to the point that sometimes Hoseok forgets the man is who he is, responsible for the majority of the crime and corruption in the city and surrounding districts. Maybe it was all an act, a ploy, to get Hoseok trapped. And if it was, it fucking worked. Overtime, he fell. And fell hard.

Hoseok knew how dangerous Jin was but it didn't stop him from kissing him one night when it was late and they were silly and delirious from being high and sleep-deprived, because the spark had been there all along. Hoseok believes that's what had saved him in the first place. Jin took him to bed and fucked him until he saw stars.

Afterwards Jin dragged him onto the balcony where they smoked a joint together and for hours Jin pointed out constellations and planets littering the sky that they could see clearly from the cabin he's driving to now. Hoseok remembers every star Jin named, every fact about every planet and galaxy Jin gushed about, every dream Jin had of being an astronaut ever since he was a kid. He thought that because of how good he was at being lonely, he would do so well up in space. Hoseok wondered if Jin felt lonely when they were together, because he certainly didn't. Hoseok kissed him anytime he felt Jin needed a reminder - that he was there and wouldn't go anywhere unless Jin wanted him to. Down the road, Jin would tell him how his smile reminded him of the sun and make Hoseok's heart burst, because maybe there was still some good left in him after all, if someone like Jin could see it. And that was the beginning of the end.

He pulls into the snowy driveway of the cabin almost at the top of the mountain, edges of the roof lined in soft-yellow lights, smoke billowing out of the two chimneys, all signs of life hidden by thick forests of tall evergreen trees, and notices a silhouette in the window holding a steaming mug of hot chocolate, soon disappearing with a flutter of the sheer curtain once he puts the car in park. The door swings open and he chuckles when he hears his nickname "Sunny!" shouted through the windshield as he collects his things and a bag of takeout before stepping out of the car.

Strong, warm arms wait for him on the porch stairs and he wraps his free arm around the waist of the man who in another universe could be the love of his life. The embrace lasts for a little more than thirty seconds before he's tugged inside of the gloriously toasty cabin and isn't given the chance to release his lungs of cold air as his breath is stolen by a heated kiss. Jin shoves him against the door and his scarf is hastily tugged off, coat unzipped, and takeout carelessly dropped on the floor.

"Happy holidays, Sunny," Jin whispers in a warm breath of chocolate.

"You too, Jinnie," Hoseok whispers back, shrugging off his coat and tearing off his hat just as plush lips press again on his mouth.

He lets himself be manhandled towards creaky wooden stairs, mouths and hands never detaching from their touch-starved bodies. They pass the kitchen and Hoseok breathes in the festive smells wafting from the oven.

"You've been baking?"

"You know it," Jin mumbles, working the shirt out of Hoseok's jeans. "You don't mind waiting until later to eat, right?" Hoseok shakes his head and kisses him with a hum before Jin takes his hand and leads him upstairs, laughing when Jin clumsily trips over the steps and accidentally slams Hoseok into the railing.

It's snowing outside the floor-to-ceiling glass windows but neither of them pay attention as Hoseok, again, lets himself be tossed back onto the ridiculously soft bed and mounted by the most beautiful man he's ever seen. He lets Jin fuck him into submission, to the point that it hurts, giving him full control of his body like he belongs to him. Because he does. As the mattress rocks, headboard thumping against the wall, he stares up at Jin through his swinging bangs, noticing the background shadow of falling snow cast on the ceiling above his head, but he can only focus on the fire and fury that blacken Jin's eyes when they're together like this and Hoseok understands why he gets this way sometimes, especially when it's been so long.

But he quickly takes the reins before Jin can get carried away, flipping him onto his stomach to take him from behind, forcing Jin to let go of his resolve, of his need to be in control because Hoseok knows how exhausting it is to be in charge all of the time. Especially of a bunch of goddamn criminals. His hand that presses on the back of Jin's neck doesn't just do the job of keeping his face planted in the bedding, but covers the flying crow carrying a skull branded just below his hairline (with four rings circled around its neck, marking Jin as the fourth blood successor) because sometimes it makes him nauseous to see it, to be reminded of who they really are, outside of this safe haven. As soon as they step foot back home, they'll have to pretend like they don't even know each other, where Hoseok will go back to being a national security agent and Jin to the most powerful criminal in the city, maybe even the country. A criminal from the very empire Hoseok was tasked as a rookie to infiltrate and build a case against, but eventually turned out to become a dirty cop, working to keep the prettiest and darkest eyes he's ever looked into out of prison because he's stupid and fell in love.

Even though both of them have never admitted it to each other, after all this time, it's there.

It's there in the way that neither of them have touched anyone else ever since they first started this, despite the months that have passed between times spent in secret. In the way they think about each other every day, when Jin sends him corny dad jokes and outdated memes that brighten Hoseok's week whenever he gets the chance to check his second phone. And in the way Hoseok drives all the way up a fucking mountain on a weekend he should be with his family, hours away from home, where Jin bakes and has hot chocolate waiting for him on the counter that has since turned cold and forgotten. And they’ll be in bed for hours, so the cookies and takeout will have gone to waste too. Oh, well. Hoseok would take Jin being under him, on him, inside him over baked goods and Jin's favorite noodles any day.

After the room has become blissfully hot and steamy with passion, the two men slip into a deep sleep that they both desperately need, arms wrapped tightly around each other as if neither of them have any plans to let go. However many hours later, Hoseok stirs to his favorite pair of biceps pulling him into his favorite broad chest, lips pressing against his temple. And as they lay there in silence, Hoseok begins to feel the air change with something that settles anxiety in his gut and even somehow lowers the temperature in the room. He pushes himself further against Jin in hopes to preserve that warmth that only exists between the two of them.

Jin turns on his back and pulls Hoseok onto his chest, turning his head to stare out of the window at the cascading snow blinding the horizon and Hoseok listens to the heartbeat thundering beneath his head.

"Y'know," Jin's gentle voice disturbs the solitude and Hoseok tries to blink himself awake. "It’s just a theory, but in the right kind of spacecraft, an astronaut could get almost as close as four million miles to the sun." "Really?" Hoseok asks, eyes drooping with a brain too tired to wonder why Jin chose now to bring up one of his space-obsessed facts. They haven't looked at the sky yet, not that there would be anything to see except the snow falling. And the sun set hours ago.

"Mm. Any closer and the astronaut would get burned." His eye peeks open at that simplistic conclusion and he huffs a worn out laugh, nuzzling into Jin's chest.

"I think they'd get a little more than burned, hyung." It's quiet for a moment. "Exactly." And Jin sits up suddenly, making Hoseok realize that wasn't just a theory. It was one disguised as a metaphor.

He panics and sits up as the elder whisks himself out of bed and heads to the bathroom, dragging a hand down his face when the shower turns on not seconds after the door shuts with a bit more force than necessary. Usually Hoseok would be traipsing off to follow him, but when he hears a heavy thud reverberate through the walls, an echo of Jin's rugged fist slamming into the tile, Hoseok swallows down the anxiety-ridden nausea in his gut and goes downstairs to shower in the second bathroom instead.

Upon returning to the bedroom to change, duffle bag in hand, he finds Jin switching out the soiled sheets and comforter. He goes to help, but he's waved off, and with an ache growing under his ribs, he quietly dresses and does his best not to become overwhelmed from this ominous tension forming between them. When the bed is made, Jin disappears downstairs and a small hill of hope arises when the cabin is suddenly blasted with holiday tunes and the smells of a new savory recipe. This time, Jin does let him help, passes behind him with hands on his waist while Hoseok chops and seasons, hips bumping occasionally as Jin maneuvers around the kitchen to cook up the best meal Hoseok will have had in months. Hoseok knows he's turned up the music extra loud so neither of them will talk. And he pretends he's fine with that.

After dinner, when they clear the table and wash the dishes in quiet tandem, and Jin turns down the music so Hoseok can hear his thoughts again, the older man heads to the window seat across from the kitchen, just under the stairs. He cracks open the window and Hoseok starts to scold him for letting in the cold air from the fucking snow storm outside, but then Jin pulls out a familiar roll of paper and a lighter and Hoseok shuts his mouth. He finishes drying up a dish, puts it away, and goes over to him, mid-step when Jin finally speaks.

"Say what you came here to tell me, Seok," Jin says flatly and Hoseok sighs as he plants himself behind him, hand sitting on Jin's lap while he tries to ignore the frigid air. He presses his frown to Jin's shoulder covered in the softest cashmere.

"You say that like it's the only reason I came here."

"But it's the main reason, right?" Hoseok leans away, frown deepening, and crosses his arms as his back settles against the oak wood wall. He stares at the snow softly falling over the hills, making the night grey instead of pitch black, wishing they could just be enjoying the view and not having this dreaded conversation.

"We only ever meet here when you have news about my case." Hoseok shoots a glare to the back of Jin's head and nudges his foot into his hip. "That's not true." He waits impatiently as the older man finishes up his joint with shoulders that grow more tense as the seconds pass by in silence.

"It's cold, can you hurry up?" Hoseok urges in a terse voice, watching as Jin nods once before taking a final drag and dropping the unfinished joint out of the window, letting the snow put it out. He stopped offering Hoseok weed ever since the office started doing random drug tests. Jin pulls in the frame, sealing out the cold, and settles back against Hoseok's chest, saying nothing when the younger man hesitates to uncross his arms and wrap them around his shoulders.

"They're getting ready to ask a judge to sign the warrant," he inevitably admits, eyes shutting as a tight feeling squeezes his chest when he feels Jin's entire body tense up.

"They're really gonna arrest somebody around the holidays? Who does that?"

Hoseok lets out a small snort, heart rate relaxing as he's reminded that one of the reasons he loves Jin so much is because of his ability to make light of a situation, no matter how serious.

"Tell me I'll at least get until after New Years."

"Maybe towards the end of January."

Jin huffs dramatically, enticing Hoseok to kiss the side of his head.

"I guess that means I won't have to get you a gift for your birthday." Hoseok tries to smile, but it’s tugged down with sadness.

“You know you never have to get me anything." Jin places a hand on his knee, a kiss on his elbow.

“Yeah, I do, Sunny. It gives me an excuse to see you." Hoseok's heart sinks and he tangles their legs together.

"And after tonight, who knows if we'll..." Jin's voice tapers off and Hoseok fights the urge to give into tears. He can't be weak. Not for something he's known he can't have.

“What are my charges? Since apparently they’re sticking this time.”

“Drug and weapons trafficking. They can’t get you for racketeering yet because the evidence is mostly linked to your father. But when you’re locked up, they’ll work on it.”

Jin stares at his cuticles for a few moments again, nothing but the sound of firewood crackling and snapping on the other side of the room, before he sits up abruptly again, knocking his head into Hoseok's chin.

"Fuck, what am I gonna do?!" Jin blurts, raking hands through his hair and tugging at the roots. Hoseok stays silent because he doesn't know what to tell him.

"Sol, he- he's not ready. He just got out of rehab for fucks' sake!"

A frown wrinkles Hoseok's chin.

"And Angel-" Jin continues, gulping down a breath. "She's barely spoken to me since she got engaged to that prick and I know that's the worst thing I've made her do but it wasn't my idea! It was his!"

Hoseok leans forward as he can sense the panic entering Jin's voice, paired with the shaking of his broad shoulders as he loses control of his breathing.

"This was his plan, he was never going to let them get away from all this. He knew the law was gonna come after him, he got too fucking loaded and it made him sloppy and now-" Jin sniffs and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. Hoseok hangs his head like he's not supposed to know Jin is crying.

"Now I'm taking the fucking fall. And I could give a shit about what happens to me, but Sol and Angel?!" Jin twists around and Hoseok is taken aback by the wild, frantic look on his face, eyes tinged pink with raw tears.

"They can't do this, they're not supposed to do this! I was never supposed to let Sol take my place, much less get my sister involved!" Tears are streaming down Jin's face as he reaches for Hoseok's sweater, curls his fists in the fabric to pull him forward like he's the only thing he can hang onto.

"And now they both are and it's-" Jin sobs. "It's all my fucking fault!"

There's a pain in Hoseok's chest as Jin collapses and smothers his face against it. And Hoseok lets him cry for however long he needs to, because here, in this space, is the only place safe for Jin to release the hardness that has been driven into his soul by his father ever since he was a little boy. In his tears, he grieves the childhood he lost when his mother died and left him with a father who forced the youth out of him, forbade him from being anything but stoic, taught him that showing emotions meant he was weak and lacked control.

Yet somehow, Jin had been able to keep a part of himself, however small, that lets him enjoy and appreciate the little things in life, to crack stupid jokes, to have a smile on his face in the right company even if it's a mask.

And Hoseok knows it's because of Jin's siblings. He thinks that without them, Jin wouldn't allow himself to be charming, or silly, or to make stupid jokes. He thinks that despite how he was raised, he taught himself to be for his siblings the man he wanted in his father. Especially since he ended up raising them himself from ages four and two when their mother left and he vowed to never let their father do to them what he endured all the way up to a few months ago, to the day he buried an empty casket beneath a headstone engraved with his last name. He was glad that his siblings were made to take on their mother's family name, even though his brother had been born as a fallback plan to carry on the Kim legacy if something ever happened, and his sister never existed to their father, both kept in hiding only until they were needed for the family business.

Despite what he was taught, Jin loved them. From the moment he found out about them, he made sure to raise them as if their existence wasn't surrounded by death and greed and crime and sometimes pure evil. Even though all of them grew up without a mother, he wasn't going to let either of them feel abandoned or like no one loved them. Because he was determined to maintain their childhood that had been stolen from him. He was the one who took them away to a park whenever their father yelled at and threatened their mother, just before she left. As a fourteen-year old, he would pack them in the car and drive them far enough away from home, because with the way he was aging, he passed for at least seventeen. When he got back one day, their mother told him to take care of them and after that, he never saw her again. But he kept his promise.

He made them lunches, took Sol to school, stayed home with Angel until she was old enough to go to daycare, all while pretending to be the babysitter when he dropped them off so they wouldn’t be mistaken for family. Having different last names helped him feel like he wasn’t completely lying. As soon as he picked them up and brought them home, he always had dinner ready, helped them with crafty projects and homework while he did his own, got them ready for bed, read stories and sang lullabies, and stayed up way too late worrying about how much longer his father would let him do this.

He knew he couldn't always be the best brother, but he'd be damned not to try.

When he finished high school and his father took every spare moment of his free time away to instead spend grinding down the rest of his innocence in preparation to take over for him one day, he made sure his brother and sister were left with the best nannies. And as they grew older, he sent them away to the best boarding schools in order to keep them away from the family business for as long as possible.

In disguise, he went to Sol’s baseball games and math tournaments, and Angel’s piano recitals and debates whenever he could, and if he was unable, he sent one of his guards instead to film them undercover.

Sometimes when he hated everything, hated himself, wished he’d never been born, he spent one too many nights driving back and forth across the Han river bridge, wondering if his father would call him a coward for not having the balls to throw himself over. Because every time he stood on the railing and leaned over imagining what it’d be like to drown in water that pretty, he thought of the only two people he ever truly loved. The ones he hid a picture of in his wallet, because he couldn’t take any on his phone, or even leave some around his house that’s way too big and hollow for just one person, as it would put a risk of revealing both of them to his world too soon.

So each and every time, he got down from the railing, went back to his car, and pulled out his third phone to put them on a three way call, doing his best to keep the fact that he almost permanently abandoned them hidden from his voice. He didn’t care if they playfully complained that he interrupted something in their busy, accomplished lives in school, because he needed to talk to them so they could save him. Time and time again.

But now they have to be saved, and Jin doesn't know if he can. Because he fears that once he’s arrested, they’ll both be put in the worst possible danger and he won’t be around to protect them. He’ll be breaking his promise to their mother. And out of all the sins he's committed, that would be the one thing he could never ask forgiveness for.

So in the midst of his tears and panic, he comes up with a plan to make sure nothing will happen to them in his absence. If anything does, he'd have no problem sending himself straight to the bottom of the river.

They move to the living room for more comfortable seating while Jin goes through his process of formulating plans. Hoseok listens intently, taking mental notes and sharing ideas of how to ensure the safety of Jin's siblings. It involves him, Moon, and D, a plethora of guards and weapons, that would all, without fail, protect Sol and Angel at all costs. Making plans helps Jin calm down and he eventually returns to his place against Hoseok's chest, hiccupping every now and then from crying so much.

"Promise me you'll look out for them, Sunny," Jin pleads in a quiet, nasally tone, needing reassurance for the tenth time.

"I will. We all will. Me, Moon, D..." he promises.

And then, in a deep breath and a whisper, "We love you."

There's a pause just before Jin slowly turns around with a look in his eye filled with so much emotion that Hoseok has never seen before (and will never see again). There's a glint and a sparkle there as he glances at Hoseok's mouth, something that tells him he wants to say those kind of words back but can't. Instead, he makes a joke, true to his character.

"I've had fantasies about you arresting me,” Jin says, kissing Hoseok on the corner of his mouth as he huffs a laugh. “I don’t think I’d mind going to jail if you were the one taking me there.”

Hoseok cackles as Jin wiggles his eyebrows. "You’re a sick freak, hyung."

With an agreeing grin, Jin kisses him and fucks him right there on the couch, then makes love to him on the floor in front of the fireplace on the faux fur rug, under the warmest, softest blanket. They mark their territory on each other's skin with bruises and bites that will last for weeks. When they're both sweaty and breathless, Jin falls asleep on top of him and Hoseok tries to memorize every inch of his body, like he hasn't already done so countless times before, because he just wants to make sure he never forgets what love feels like. He succumbs to exhaustion with tears pricking the corners of his eyes that he won't let fall.

When he wakes, Jin is gone. Hoseok sits up in the eerily silent, practically empty cabin. The fire is now reduced to embers and it's significantly colder in the cabin. Hoseok hates the hollow feeling he gets as he moves around collecting his things, heavy blanket wrapped around him as he looks for any trace of Jin but finds nothing. The baking ware is gone as well. But there's a carefully wrapped meal left for him in the fridge that he won't be able to stomach until later that day.

There’s a big plate of decorated cookies on the counter and his heart stops and sags when next to it he finds an old phone turned off, covered in Jin's fingerprints, an astronaut sticker plastered and worn on the back.

Taped to it is a note that reads:

If you ever need to save yourself, it’s all right here.

And Hoseok melts on the floor in a puddle of tears at the notion that Jin is willing to sacrifice himself, his freedom, his life all for him if it's one day necessary. This is something he never would have imagined, especially not since years ago when Jin once threatened him and his family for his loyalty and devotion with a gun held to his head. Now, Hoseok thinks he would leave all that behind to stay with Jin. It's stupid and irresponsible, he knows, but Hoseok hasn't found anything in anyone like what he has in Jin. And he doesn't think he ever will. But none of that matters now. Because Jin will be gone and there is nothing Hoseok can do, except pick himself up and leave like none of that meant anything.

He's gotten really good at lying.

part 1. coming soon!!! (for real this time)

masterlist

thanks for reading! this is the last of 2seok we'll see in this series :( they'll be mentioned throughout, but there just won't be anymore interactions. maybe at the very end who knows. i also could be lying and suddenly change my mind lol. hope you enjoyed! let me know if i missed any warnings.

xxx- claret

notes: i hope this all makes sense, like with the legal shit lol, i'm kind of making stuff up as i go bc it's imperative to the plot that both Jin and his father are no longer in charge so bear with me. That and i love the idea of hoseok being a dirty cop and having some forbidden love with mob boss jin.

taglist: @polarnightmyg @rinkud

#bts angst #bts mafia #bts mafia au #min yoongi #yoongi angst #yoongi mafia #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi bodyguard au #bts jin #kim seokjin #2seok #2seok angst #bts jhope #hoseok #bts drabble #bts oneshot

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butchhamlet · 1 year ago

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are there any shakespeare retellings you recommend? i really enjoy retellings but it's also difficult to find ones that like. actually understand the source material... i've read your novella duodecimal and really liked it btw! excellent take on twelfth night :-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH WAH... yes, i can recommend some retellings! i keep intending to make a big post with my recs, actually, but there are so many out there that i haven't read yet... so for now here's an incomplete list:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: the first one that came to my mind seeing this ask. it's a retelling of lear set on an american farmstead, and the adaptation is done beautifully and smoothly--it's just distinct enough from OG Lear that you can judge it as a book on its own but also as a lear retelling. and it's sooooo good. it starts a little slow, but the character work is so excellent and it almost made me cry (i will note that there's a pretty hefty cw on this one but... saying what it is is technically spoilers? but feel free to send another ask or message if you want to know up-front)

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: books that made me have to turn my camera off in zoom class so i could bawl properly. books written for me specifically. this is a loose YA retelling of twelfth night (looser than some of the other retellings on this list) and it's like. perfect. the teenage dialogue actually sounds like teenagers. every emotional beat clubbed me over the head. the love triangle is present--and done really well; it's not present for drama but because sometimes being a teenager is confusing--but more than that this is a book about the relationship between violet and her sibling, and about mental health, and god it makes me CRAZY. also girls kiss in this one

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: i mean. i think most people into shakespeare know r&gad. but in case you haven't read it yet, it's an absurdist play from the point of view of rosencrantz and guildenstern and it's absolutely fucking brilliant. not sure what else to say about this; you've really just gotta read it

teenage dick by mike lew: another play, this one on the modern side--a retelling of richard iii set in a high school, focusing explicitly on disability issues. kind of more a reimagining than a retelling, honestly, but i really like the exploration of r3's themes and also it's fucking hysterical. although i will say there's a kind of jarring tonal shift in this one near the end, so don't go to it for something 100% comedic

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: okay this isn't exactly a retelling but if you've ever read othello you have to read it. you just have to. please god if you've ever read a shakespeare PLEASE. it's a monologue from the perspective of a black man trying out for the role of othello, half-resigned to being pigeonholed into playing that specific role in a very specific way as directed by a white director, but also half-chafing against that resignation, and also exploring the complexities of loving shakespeare as a black man, and it's soooooo so good

exit, pursued by a bear by e.k. johnston: this one is kind of cheating because it's not really a retelling, in that it has next to nothing to do with the winter's tale except that there is a hermione character and a leontes character and a paulina character. i still think it's a very very well-done YA book, though, and one of the only ones i've read that deals head-on with abortion

foul is fair by hannah capin: okay, i will admit i read this one some years ago when i was more into YA, so i'm not sure i would still go crazy over it now, but the plot of this book is that the modern lady macbeth character gets assaulted by a guy at a party and decides to kill everyone who let that happen. and then she does. and idk i read it in two days it felt like being on crack

the wednesday wars by gary schmidt: this one is DEFINITELY cheating, because this isn't a retelling of anything. but if you like shakespeare and you're open to reading historical fiction about a kid in the 60s using shakespeare as a lens through which to understand the chaos of his life (from the vietnam war to his school crush)... it's so good. it made me nearly sob. beautiful book

i'm also a fan of ryan north's shakespeare choose-your-own-adventure books, but those aren't exactly retellings and also the humor will probably not work for everyone. but i like em <3

and finally, i would be remiss not to shout out the fact that @suits-of-woe wrote an INCREDIBLE retelling of the two gentlemen of verona that, like, redeemed the fact that that play exists. if you've read that play and you thought, "wow, i wish this were explicitly homoerotic, or not a rape apologia, or good in any way," you will LOVE macy's book. unfortunately it isn't fucking published yet but WITH YOUR HELP--

#max.txt #feel free to send me recs for shakespeare retellings at any time btw!#i've been collecting a list #i just haven't gotten around to most of the books on it yet #asks

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neoarchipelago · 2 years ago

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Are you still doing the Fantasy hcs? If not just ignore this

What would a dragon trainer au be like? Like how the military uses dogs, but dragons instead!

Maybe a dragon trainer reader, but Ghost is also a dragon trainer (definitely has a dragon named Riley 😉) so reader and ghost instantly click.. They exchange training tips and help each other with their dragons. But both havee social anxiety, so 141 has to try and get them to confess?

Scales and Feathers

I HAVE BEEN DYING TO WRITE THIS. DAMN.

Warnings: NSFW 18+ under the NSFW written in bright red, you really can't miss it.

You walked around, gear too heavy on your skin. Anxiety bit your flesh like a million fire ants. You weren't used to this. Sure, you were part of the military with Gaia, your beautiful white fluffy dragon, but nothing remotely close to a special task force. When captain price walked in on you training, his stunning leopard dragon behind him, Seraphim, as he called her, was much smaller than Gaia. Big enough for a rider like Price though.

You looked up at the sky, Gaia happily flying around, taking in the new base from the sky. You smiled, holding your hands behind your back. At the corner of your sight, a black spiky dragon joined the cloud tainted blue, flying close by. Your heartbeat quickened, watching them circling each other. He was large. Bigger than Gaia. Even from your spot on the ground you could see the bright red and gold eyes shining.

"Breathe. Riley won't hurt him."

You spun around at the sound, eyes falling into a masked face.

"Her.." you corrected in a small voice.

He crossed his arms, stepping to you.

"Sorry. Her." He corrected looking up as well.

You watched the big dark dragon flying right behind her, trying to nibble playfully at her fluffy feathered tail. Gaia seemed to react according to her character however, a bone shaking growl erupting from the sky, a warning. You shook your head.

"S.. sorry… she has her character… Gaia!" You apologized, calling your irritated, incredibly large, ball of fur, down.

Her wings rose up the dust of the ground as you stepped towards her. The black dragon followed to the ground, to his own trainer. Gaia stood behind you, eying the spikey Riley. She seemed to think that stepping behind you was enough to hide her, despite her big frame being almost 20 times too large.

Riley seemed interested as Gaia hissed from behind you.

"Gaia… don't be a brat… he just wants to be friends…" you scolded her in a soft tone.

She huffed a breath in your direction, making your hair fly. You chuckled at her temper.

"Riley isn't usually this friendly. I'm sorry. I'll keep him in check."

Your attention turned back to the man.

"Oh, it's ok. She has to learn to play nice. She'll get to know him eventually." You smiled at him, his imposing frame making you somehow shy. He nodded your way. A heavy silence settled in between the two of you, only broken moments later by Riley sending a huff of smoke towards Gaia in a teasing way. Gaia growled again.

"Riley.." the man called in a warning tone.

"I see you two are making friends already."

The both of you turned to Price and Seraphim. You smiled, tension rising again.

"Miss Y/N, this is Lieutenant Simon Ghost Riley. He is part of squad 141. Simon, this is our new addition to the team. Y/N and Gaia." He introduced with one of his signature smiles. You turned to Ghost, smiling. He nodded your way. In the background, soft bickering of two dragons was constantly heard.

After a few weeks, things had started to calm down however. Gaia had somehow accepted Riley's constant teasing. Despite the fact that he was older and bigger than her, he seemed to be submissive to her when she deemed that enough was enough. Ghost seemed to eye the situation with curiosity, to everyone's opinion, it was uncharacteristic of Riley to behave like this. You understood the meaning of these words when you noticed the stance of the dragon when he had to deal with Soap or Gaz's one.

In the meantime, you used this brand new relationship in between the two big beasts to train them together. You were slightly frightened at first, the Lieutenant seemed to be a man of few words and with a grip of steel. He seemed to keep his eyes on you very often. However, it was still nice to be able to train with someone as experienced as him. Gaia herself seemed to enjoy his presence and you were happy about it. For as much as Riley also enjoyed your presence, Gaia didn't allow him much room to get near you.

Another training session came to an end, holding your water bottle in hand as you watched the two dragons roll over each other in a friendly fight. The ground shook softly as they battled. Ghost walked next to you as he also eyed the two fire breathers.

"Kids.." he mumbled.

You giggled a bit, the sound gaining his attention. You blushed under his gaze that you tried to hold for a few seconds. The tension was sizzling in between the both of you.

"I-"

"Thank-"

You smiled as you both interrupted each other. You looked away as he cleared his throat.

"Go on." He ordered. You smiled, god was he always so bossy.

"Thank you, for the training tips… It helps a lot." You said.

"Your training tips as well. Especially with a grumpy asshole like Riley." He mumbled.

You chuckled, taking an unconscious step closer to him.

"He's not mean!" You defended.

"Because he's acting like a kid when Gaia is around." He pointed out.

"Hm.. do you think he has a crush on her?" You asked, the question holding heavy meaning. He looked down at you, holding your gaze for a second.

"Maybe…" he answered in a low rumble.

The sound made the air get caught in your lungs. The feeling of his gloved hand against your tight pants, right up against your thigh was sending waves of electricity through you. A screech made you both snap your head towards the dragons.

You were instantly worried watching as Gaia hissed threateningly at Riley who stepped back, his head lowered. What made a wave of fear run through you was the way Gaia held her paw close to her body. You instantly ran to her, Ghost close behind. You inspected the paw, a little scratch with droplets of blood making your eyes widen. It was large, for a human. To Gaia, it was probably just a little scratch.

"RILEY!" You heard Ghost scold.

You took a glance back, inspecting Riley who looked angrily at Ghost, as he sat pouting. You noticed the little blood on one of his spikes. It wasn't intentional…

"Simon…"

His body seemed tense, hearing you call his name but he looked at you.

"It's ok, it's just a scratch, he didn't mean it. Look" you pointed towards one of the spikes.

He understood the situation.

"Riley. You have to be careful when you play." He scolded again.

You pet Gaia as she lowered her head to you.

"Now now… you're being a little baby.. you had much worse…" you teased.

She huffed another breath towards you, making your hair fly. You smiled at her.

"Come on… he didn't mean it you know it…" you whispered to her.

She groaned like an unruly teen before huffing again. However, she somehow decided that you were right as she raised her head, huffing a breath towards Riley, playfully. He cheered up, his tail wagging. Ghost saw it, feeling embarrassed for his dragon.

To your surprise, Riley took this little hint of forgiveness to walk back to her, nuzzling her head with his. You were shocked by the sudden display of affection, but mostly, by the way Gaia happily nuzzled back. You watch as Riley licked up the wound in an apologetic way as you stepped back towards Ghost, in total dismay.

Perhaps it was that display of affection, pure affection that made you both realize how badly you wanted to do the same for each other. How your hands wanted to hold each other. How you wanted to be in his arms. But you didn't look at each other, too scared to see unreciprocated feelings in each other's eyes.

Unfortunately for the both of you, Gaia and Riley's new affection made the both of you spend a lot of time together. Since then, Ghost had retracted, feeling him growing colder and colder. It made you sad. It broke you. You'd try to involve Gaz and Soap to your activities as much as possible, avoiding the aching silence and avoiding gazes.

Soap and Gaz had found it extremely funny to see that Gaia and Riley had decided to have their own little thing. Their own dragons were more careful around Gaia to avoid seeing Riley angry. The big white dragon however seemed to have a soothing effect on the scary black one. Somehow just like you had a soothing effect on Simon. It had grown obvious as the months passed, so the current situation was confusing to the both of them. Seeing how you two avoided each other yet sent hidden glances when the other was looking.

It was obvious. Incredibly obvious. Price himself found the situation frustrating. He himself wanted to simply yell at the two of you to simply kiss already. Therefore, it was time to do something about it. The plan was set, the two of you being separately asked to meet at the same place. You entered the small windowless room, looking around in the darkness. Confusion set in, Gaz had asked you to help him with a report in this precise room. The sound of the door made you turn around, relief washing over you before it was quickly erased by an anxious feeling.

You locked eyes with Simon as he had stepped into the room, looking as confused as you.

"What…?" He asked.

"Hum… Gaz asked me… to help him." You tried.

"Soap-" he didn't finish, groaning as he closed his eyes.

Before being able to say anything, the lock was heard. Your eyes widened, looking at Simon and the door repeatedly. He walked to it, trying the door handle who didn't budge.

"We're… locked in.." you tried. He nodded.

You bit your lip, looking around the room. It was an old storage room, old chairs and desks laying around. You sighed, walking to a desk, sitting on top of it.

You looked around again, trying to keep your attention on anything but the man standing, his arms crossed over his chest. You tried to look up, noticing his dark gaze on you. It sent a delightful shiver down your spine.

"Why… are you looking at me like that?" You asked.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

The question made you freeze. You felt a ping of anger.

"Avoiding you?" You repeated.

"Yes." He snapped.

"You've been hating my presence! How could I not?!" You snapped back. He seemed slightly taken aback.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You've been barely talking to me, during training you don't say more than two orders and you can't even bear to look at me!" The tears rose to your eyes.

"Bear to look at you?! Fuck! I can't bear not looking at you!" He took a step closer. "I can't fucking take my eyes off of you. You've been, the only fucking thing on my mind…"

You looked up at him, eyes looking for an ounce of lies in his words but you couldn't find none.

"Why… were you so cold then?" You asked with a little confused frown.

"I… couldn't handle you not… wanting me too…" he answered honestly. You frowned again.

You closed in the space between the both of your hands holding his face in your hands, making him stare at you, wide eyed. You wanted to say something. Tell him it wasn't true that you desperately wanted him. But the words kept bubbling in your throat, refusing to come out. You noticed a tiny flinch from him, as he was ready to step back. And you panicked. If you couldn't say anything. You'd show him. You brought his face down, rising to your tippy toes to drop a soft kiss on his clothed lips.

Time froze. What a cheesy saying. Yet it felt exactly like that. When you separated, the feeling of the fabric on your lip was just as satisfying as it was frustrating. You looked away, embarrassed. His fingers met your chin, softly pushing up to make you look at him. His other hand pulled at his balaclava to bring it to his nose, revealing his mouth. You felt yourself completely melt as his lips finally met yours.

You leant on him, your hands on his chest. The feeling of his tongue playing with your lip sent a heat between your legs. A moan escapes your lips making you blush.

NSFW.

His hands traveled on your sides, featherlight touches on your hips and waist. You needed more. His touch on your skin.

"Darling… tell me to stop… and I will." He groaned against your neck.

"Don't you dare stop Simon…"

You felt the grin on his lips on the skin of your neck. He stepped forwards bringing you closer to a desk until your ass touched the edge. He grabbed your waist, pulling you up to sit you on it. You spread your thigh, allowing him to settle in between. His lips traveled, leaving kisses and bites on your neck until they found your lips once more. The more he kissed you, like he craved every inch of your body, the more you let him explore with the most relaxed moans you could mutter.

His hands found the hem of your shirt, snaking underneath to feel the skin, warm and full of goosebumps.

"Simon…" you breathed out.

He looked back at you, unsure of his next step, wondering if you wanted him to stop.

You saw the hesitation in his eyes, your own hands reaching for your shirt to remove it fully, allowing him to see your pretty black bra.

"Shit…" he hissed. He leaned down, teeth and lips at your collar bone, making you giggle and gasp. You felt him reach for his shirt as he separated just long enough to throw it over his head. You pulled back as he frowned. Your eyes traveled up and down his chest, your hands following the path they chased. Scars littered the beautiful skin, black faded ink bringing a tint more of danger to his stance. His muscles flexed under your touch, his breath quickening. His hand wrapped softly around your wrists.

"Baby… let me touch you please…" he groaned.

"Can't I touch you too?" You teased.

"Fuck… love you'll get to touch me whenever you fucking want… all of me. But please, right now let me make you mine." The last word was growled against your lips before he captured them into a hot kiss. You hummed against him, your legs wrapping around his waist to bring him closer. You could feel his hard length through his pants.

The way he slowly unclasped your bra, in a teasing way made you whine. His fingers felt cold, adrenaline rushing through him. Your nipples were hard from the excitement and freshness of them. He pinched and rolled them softly making you whimper and squirm. He let go of your lips in a little smirk, his eyes never leaving your as he lowered himself to lick one of your nipples. You sighed, biting your lip. He hummed against your skin fully taking it in his mouth.

You let your head fall back the feeling of him sucking and biting softly making you shiver and buck unto him.

"Simon… please…" you moaned. He chuckled.

"I know princess, I know… I'm impatient too."

The button of your pants was taken off, you raised your hips, helping him remove the annoying fabric, leaving you in panties when you kicked off your boots. Every little touch felt like too much yet not enough. The feeling of your hands resting against his chest made you ache for more, his grip on your flesh almost bruising now.

His hand met the soft fabric of your panties, much too soaked already. You hummed against his lips, two of his fingers rubbing softly through the black panties. You rolled your hips desperate for more. He chuckled as he pushed the fabric aside, his two fingers now rubbing your clit in soft slow circles. You moaned, kissing his neck and biting his pulse there. The groan it elicited from him made you want to hear more. He granted you a finger at your entrance, pushing past to give you more.

"Simon…" you whined.

He kissed your temple, adding a second finger as his thumb still caressed your soft clit. He used his fingers to pump in and out, stretching you. His fingers grazed the perfect spot that made your hips jolt forward.

"Found it." He grumbled against your ear.

His new little treasure at the tip of his fingers now his perfect little plaything. He curled and rubbed at that sensitive spot, chills and trembles overtaking your body. You wanted to return the favor, your hand cupping him through his pants. He grunted, hips bucking into your hands as you rubbed him. It only encouraged him in his torturous touch, the feeling of your orgasm creeping over you.

"S..Simon… I'm.." you tried.

"I know baby. Go on. Let me feel it." He whispered, his eyes planted on yours.

The wave of pleasure was deafening, your ears ringing as your mouth fell open in loud moans. You tried to keep eye contact but couldn't help letting your head fall back.

"Good girl. Such a good girl for me." He praised.

His fingers left your aching cunt, bringing him to his lips so he could taste you. He groaned at the taste, licking greedily.

"Fuck… I'm going to get addicted to this.."

You tried to hop off the desk, wanting nothing more than to return the favor.

"Nu-uh. Where are you going little dove?" He asked.

"I want to return the favor…" you answered, licking your lips.

His shoulders flexed for a second.

"Not now. I told you. I want to make you mine. Today is about you. And my cock filling you up."

He had a keen sense of making you flustered with the things he said, right before capturing your lips like it was nothing. You rolled your hips against him, making him bite your lower lip softly. You giggled, feeling him separate. His hand on your stomach pushed you down on your back. You looked up at him as he lowered himself, teeth grazing and lips sucking at your inner thighs.

"Simon… Please stop teasing…" he didn't answer, continuing his attack on your plush skin. "Simon make me yours!" You whined, your patience running out.

He replied with a stronger bite, making you yelp before he stood again, towering you. The sight was divine, the man standing in between your legs, as his hands reached for his belt. The sound of it unbuckling made your heart jump, the promise of more only fueling the scorching warmth running though you. He lowered his pants, his boxer as well, his member finally free.

"Shit.." you mumbled.

"Thank you." He grinned.

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks. Big yes. Thick? Good lord… You couldn't look away as he pumped himself a few times, the glistening drops at his tip smearing. You licked your lips again, wondering how it would taste on your tongue. He saw it. That little hidden movement. He brought his tip closer to your clit rubbing up and down with it as his fingers found your hole, two fingers slipping in easily. He pumped them a few times, making you gasp and moan.

"Simon!" You whined again.

"I know. But got to prepare you. Don't want to hurt you…"

You felt your heart swell at his words. Strained voice as he tried to not give in to the pure need to be in you. When his fingers made their way out, coating his length with your sticky juices before bringing the tip at your entrance you almost felt like you'd moan right there. His thumb hovered over your clit ready to ease the tension.

"You alright baby?" He asked, making you look at him.

"Yes… please Simon…" you begged.

He smiled, bucking his hips slowly, the tip pushing through your entrance at the slowest pace. He took his time, slowly easing himself into your tight warmth as he teased your sensitive bud to help with the burning stretch. Bottoming out, he groaned, gritting his teeth.

"Fuck… so tight…" he hissed.

You felt so full, god it only made you feel completely owned by him. You rolled your hisp begging for him to move, but his hands reached for your hips, firmly keeping them down.

"Baby… let it adjust…" he tried.

You whined. He was on his last string of patience, holding back. You rolled your hips again and he pulled out before slamming back into earning something in between a yelp and moan from you.

" 'nough playing…" he warned.

He started at a steady pace, his hips thrusting into you deep as he held onto your thighs. The desk shook, noise mixing with the whimpers, moans and grunts. Cursed blessings spilling from lips out of divine pleasure. You held onto his forearms, nails softly scratching there.

The chanting of his name wasn't enough. Your eyes never left each other, feelings shared by iris and blown pupils, little frowns and twitches, mouth agape. Full trust in gazes that made it more than just pleasure. It was abandonment. Kneeling and serving each other as a pledge of something far more than just affection.

He pulled you closer to the edge of the desk, giving his thrust better access to you while he could lean down to bite and kiss your neck. Your arms around his back, hands and claws left pretty red fiery marks. You couldn't contain your voice anymore, if the boys were outside then damned my they be. After all, it was only the consequences of their actions, their little plan. And fuck were you glad of that little plan.

His bit down on a sensitive spots where your pulse vibrated, making your arch your back and your plush walls pulse around him. It brought you to the edge as he sucked little marks on your skin.

"S..imon…" you moaned.

He raised his head, forehead on your as he kept his pace, only changing angle to better hit your little spot. You were trembling your orgasm ready to wash over you. His own thrusts faltered, his groans louder. You kissed him, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist. He only separated for a second to breathe. A little second where he growled against your lips, sending you into a blinding orgasm.

"Mine"

Ears ringing and cheeks tingling you let out the most pornographic moan you've ever heard echoing from your throat. It sent him over the edge, two powerful thrust making pulse and twitch as he filled your womb with his warm seed.

Both panting, you remained like this, holding each other.

"Simon…" you whined through heavy breaths.

"Yes baby?"

"Does… this mean…" you tried.

"That you're mine? That I'm yours? That I'm never leaving you out of my sight ever again? Absolutely."

You smiled against his lips, a little tired chuckle escaping past yours. Your phones vibrated, a little sound that brought you both back to reality. He grinned, dropping a kiss to your lips before straightening himself and slowly pulling out. You gasped as he groaned, his fingers immediately reaching to push back his cum inside making you blush. He grabbed his phone checking the messages while bringing your leg to his shoulder so he could drop kisses on it.

"Price is reminding us that it's training time and that we're late…" he chuckled.

"Oh!" You remembered.

He smirked.

"Come on love let's go then."

"B..but! Simon! I'm…" you blushed again.

"Full of my cum?" He teased. "Guess you'll have to handle it until training is over" he winked with a devilish grin.

Damn that man.

During the training session, Gaia could feel and probably smell it. She kept nudging your stomach, making you incredibly embarrassed in front of the team, while Riley looked proudly at his trainer as if he was congratulating him. He was probably seeing it as if Simon had claimed you and bred you which only made you blush even more. Simon was gloating over himself in a silent proud stance as you tried your best to ignore the wetness in between your thighs.

#fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost cod #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley smut #cod fantasy AU

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bybdolan · 23 days ago

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thoughts on books i read in 2024

This was kind of an abysmal reading year for me ... i did not read a lot, very few books were truly excellent, and most of what I read was written by white guys (which is on me). Let’s hope 2025 is better on all fronts. Anyway, here’s a list of what I read, and about 4 sentences written in 3 minutes trying to summarize my thoughts on the book.

The Autograph Collector (Zadie Smith) – started the year off pretty strong with this one. It’s been a while since I read it, but what I do remember is that smith is an excellent storyteller and I liked how the themes of grief, dreams, and fame were woven together.

Die Insel der 1000 Leuchttürme (Walter Moers) – eh? I was constantly hoping that this would go in a “horror as metaphor for bigotry” or “small communities with strict rules are fucking scary” (think The Wicker Man) kind of direction, and thus was not on board with the way the plot ended up developing. It’s also way too long and Hildegunst’s neuroses are annoying after a certain point.

Faserland (Christian Kracht) – this is as good as everyone says it is. Full stop. I admittedly just love books about sad young men who are or pretend to be assholes (Catcher in the Rye), so this was perfect for me. Very sad and very pale, but in a good way – it felt clear, like nice winter wind. Also: I couldn’t get the boy to kill me but I wore his jacket for the longest time. Etc. etc.

Das fliegende Klassenzimmer (Erich Kästner) – a classic for a reason!!! Children’s books are at their best when they take their audience seriously, and this passes that test with flying colors. Incredibly fun, incredibly moving. Made me cry more than once. Eisern!

Call Me By Your Name (André Aciman) – this was a really interesting experience for me because I strongly disliked the movie when I watched it, as I was constantly put off by Oliver’s behavior. I think the book does a better job at making you understand the fragile and confusing back-and-forth between Elio and Oliver, and I found myself really really liking it because of that. I also greatly appreciate how unapologetically horny it is. Being horny makes you act fucking weird!!! I love weird horny representation!!! YAY peach scene! The style was beautiful as well, though a bit imagery-heavy at times, which did fit the heavy summer atmosphere.

Rico, Oskar 1 – 3 (Andreas Steinhöfel) – listened to the audiobooks on my way to uni. A very fun time all around. Similarly to Kästner, Steinhöfel has a lot of respect for his audience and also doesn’t shelter them. What other kids’ books can you name where the protagonist’s mom works at a strip club? The representation may not be perfect but I love that he went there. Mama Doretti you are forever famous TO ME.

The End of Loneliness (Benedict Wells) – always pains me to say this because Benedict Wells legit is so fucking sweet and nice in person and I’d LOVE to have dinner with him, but ... he is not thaaat good of a writer. This one essentially is a John Irving wannabe, and despite the “dark” themes it feels incredibly shallow and cliched at times. The female character(s) are particularly offensive. However: at the very least Wells is earnest about it all?

22 Bahnen (Caroline Wahl) – Caroline Wahl who had 2 books on the bestsellers list for over a year now recently complained that she wasn’t nominated for the Deutscher Buchpreis, which is partially meant as financial support for authors whose a) books do not sell well because b) they are good and complex pieces of literature, so I hope that she’ll be at least a bit consoled by receiving the “Book That Made Me Seethe With Hatred 2024” award <3 the writing is ass the story is shallow it’s all just a big fucking cliché and the depiction of poverty and addiction is appalling. I’d be ashamed to put a book like this out into the world.

HOOL (Philipp Winkler) – this still is THE book about violent men to me. I read it 5 times in the summer of 2018 and I am happy to report that it has lost none of its appeal and grit and ugliness. Simply a 10/10 and deeply formative to my taste.

Emil und die Detektive (Erich Kästner) – everything I said about Das fliegende Klassenzimmer is also true for this one. Ultimately I do prefer Klassenzimmer though, simply because the themes of friendships and camaraderie appeal to me much more.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson) – As a thriller this is near perfect, I could not put it down for two days. Larsson manages to do the whole “intersection of faith and violence against women” thing without it feeling exploitative (I’d be inclined to believe he may have started this trend), and I am glad that he allows his female characters to take gruesome revenge. Howeveeerrr unfortunately the narration still has a very chauvinistic edge to it and Mikkel feels like a male mid 40s wish fulfillment fantasy.

The Goldfinch (Donna Tartt) – I bought this in the Mauritshuis after seeing the Goldfinch so :’) it has a nice little sentimental edge to it. And this is another one of those “it really is THAT good” books. Looking back now, I am surprised that relatively little has stayed with me though – I never was that invested in Theo, and I also didn’t love Boris a ton, so a lot of the novel was just me hanging out with characters I didn’t like reading about that much. What stuck with me the most was the love for beautiful things that comes pouring out of every pages. Especially the parts in Hobie’s shop were just awe-inspiring. I’m planning to do a reread where I just focus on the descriptions because they were so unbelievably rich.

Bluebeard (Kurt Vonnegut) – I don’t remember a ton about this. What comes back to me most is my fondness of Vonnegut. He has a lot of humor and warmth in his writing, and I always find myself deeply moved by him writing about people loving one another, as funny or dark or even sad it may be.

The Virgin Suicides (Jeffrey Eugenides) – IT REALLY IS THAT GOOD. I could go on about the genius of that narrator perspective (the boys who watched the Lisbon girls as this big shapeless faceless conglomerate of first person plural) for ages. The prose is embroidery-worthy and the amount of detail and specificity do not only bring the Lisbon girls to life, but also the entire small town ecosystem around them. A beautiful capsule of stifled adolescence. And yet a horrifying read. (Bonus: I read this at the time when my boyfriend was reading Lolita, so when we were reading in public we looked like Mr. + Mr(s). Coquette.)

The O’Henry Prize Winners of 2024 – I love a good short story collection what can I say? I highly recommend these collections to everybody, as they present an array of innovative, diverse, well-told short stories that you may have not heard about before unless you are a literary magazine afficionado. My favorites were “Roy” and “The Soccer Balls of Mr. Kurz”.

Everybody Jam (Ali Lewis) – listen. Nothing hits like a good middle grade book. This one is veeery heavy at times and I was honestly not ready for some of the stuff that was happening, but it still was an engrossing experience and I just love coming-of-age stories that get into the mess of living. I also learned a lot about Australian cattle farming. Yay.

Fighting Ruben Wolfe (Markus Zusak) – another book about men and violence, yay! Finished this one today (it technically is only the first half of my German joint edition of this + “When Dogs Cry” but shhh). The writing was really good for the most part (I read it to get a feel for slightly gritty and simple vocabulary-wise yet rich in imagery narration for a project of mine, and it definitely delivered), however, it is very cut-up and not very subtle at times. I also felt like it was just missing. Something. I wasn’t really satisfied by the end of it.

so uuuh I think my favorite new reads of the year were The Virgin Suicides and Faserland. Maybe I should lighten up.

#this was kinda done for myself so i could reflect back on my reading year #if you have any thoughts on any of these books feel free to send me an ask i'll hopefull reply to. or reply to this post!

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