#so it makes his ending even more devastating……..
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Couch Wars // Rhysand x Reader
Summary: In which a petty argument leads to Rhysand proving just how impossible he can be (Fluff)
Word Count: 710
The bedroom felt too quiet without him. The argument had been stupid—a silly spat over who forgot to wash the training leathers—but both of you had let it spiral. Rhysand, with his calm, infuriating smirk, and you, with your dramatic flair. Neither of you would back down. So, here you were, dragging a blanket off the bed and storming into the living room like a martyr.
The couch wasn’t even comfortable. You huffed as you threw the blanket down, trying to convince yourself you didn’t care. As you curled up, staring at the dim light filtering in from the balcony, you heard footsteps behind you.
“What are you doing?” Rhysand’s voice broke the silence, smooth and curious. You didn’t turn to face him.
“I’m sleeping here tonight,” you declared, voice clipped.
He walked closer, his silhouette casting a shadow over you. “On the couch?”
“Yes, on the couch. Away from you.”
Rhys crouched beside you, his violet eyes catching the faint light. He tilted his head, studying you like you were the most perplexing puzzle he’d ever encountered. “Darling, this is ridiculous.”
You huffed, clutching the blanket tighter. “Well, I don’t want to sleep next to someone who refuses to admit they’re wrong.”
His lips twitched. “Funny. I was thinking the same thing about you.”
“Go away, Rhysand.”
Instead of leaving, he sank onto the couch beside you, one arm draping over your waist. He pulled you close with maddening ease, his scent—night-chilled wind and cedar—washing over you.
“Let go,” you muttered, squirming out of his grip. You flopped onto the other end of the couch, making your displeasure obvious.
Rhysand sighed exaggeratedly, the sound so theatrical it might have earned a laugh if you weren’t so irritated. “If this is how you want to play it, fine.” In one swift motion, he stood, grabbed you, and tossed you over his shoulder.
“Rhysand!” you shrieked, pounding on his back. Your laughter betrayed your indignation. “Put me down!”
“No can do,” he said, striding toward the bedroom. “This is for your own good.”
“You’re insufferable!”
“And you’re adorable when you’re angry.”
You’d barely managed to argue before he reached the bed. Rhysand tossed you onto the mattress with an unceremonious plop, climbing over you before you could escape. He pinned your wrists above your head, his weight caging you in.
“Let me go,” you pouted, your bottom lip jutting out dramatically, eyes narrowing into a glare that might’ve been intimidating… if he didn’t find it so endearing.
His grin was devastating. “Not until you admit you’re being a brat.”
Your glare could have cut glass. “Not until you say you’re sorry.”
Rhysand’s gaze softened, though amusement still danced in his eyes. He leaned closer, his breath brushing your cheek, his voice dropping to that intoxicating murmur. “Sorry.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
“I said I’m sorry, darling. For whatever grievous crime I’ve committed.”
You hesitated, your stubbornness warring with the warmth blooming in your chest. Finally, you sighed. “I’m sorry too.”
A grin split his face, one so radiant it made your chest ache. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”
You scowled, but your lips twitched upward despite your best efforts. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re irresistible.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, each touch lingering and soft. When he pulled back, his expression was unbearably smug. “Now, no more couch dramatics. Agreed?”
You rolled your eyes but smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. But only because I’m too tired to fight you anymore.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, my love.”
As he settled beside you, his arms pulling you close, you realized the fight didn’t matter. Not when the night ended like this—his warmth surrounding you, his steady heartbeat under your ear, a constant reminder of everything you shared. The silence stretched, comfortable and soothing now, until you finally murmured, “I’m still mad about the leathers.”
Rhysand chuckled, his chest vibrating beneath your cheek. “Noted. I’ll make sure they’re spotless tomorrow. Anything else, my high-maintenance darling?”
“Just one thing,” you muttered, your lips curving into a sly smile. “Next time, I’m throwing you onto the couch.”
“Bold words,” he teased, pressing another kiss to your hair. “But we’ll see about that.”
#rhysand#rhysand x reader#acotar#rhysand imagine#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#rhysand fluff#batboys#batboys fluff#rhys acotar#rhys#rhys x reader#rhys imagine#rhys fluff
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I'm finally catching up on a month's worth of tsams and the "can moon save sun from nexus?" ep has been rlly interesting so far but also. The way Moon said that Sun could literally push Nexus down and bury them as a form of supression has given me the absolutely most devastating mental image of just...
Sun shaking and sobbing as he quite literally frantically buries Nexus alive in his mindscape.
The dirt is all muddy from the rain and it cakes between the joints of his fingers and while his internal digital avatar isn't stopped by the blockage, it only makes him feel even more filthy as he desperately claws dirt up from the ground to bury Nexus in.
Moon is trying to help how he can but he hovers around more than anything, watching his brother sob and wail as he literally buries Nexus in his mind. And Nexus fights back. They squirm and slash at Sun and they growl and taunt and they are fighting more to be remembered than they did to stay alive and it makes Sun feel horrible.
And it'd end quietly with little fanfare. The more Sun buried Nexus, the less they'd squirm, and the less Sun would cry. Their body would be submerged nearly entirely in the earth of Sun's headspace and that would be it. That's a wrap. And they'd exit Sun's mind together.
#xero says things#IT WOULD BE A METAL AND DEVASTATING WAY TO SHOW HOW AWFUL AND MESSY REPRESSION AS A COPING MECHANISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#DIES ON THE FLOOR#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#sams nexus#sams sun#xero thoughts and rambles
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Jinx just never really liked Vander that much.
One of the things that, to me, seemed like a main theme in Jinx's arc in season 1 was the contrast between her two families, and how her switch from Vander's daughter to Silco's drastically changes the way her personality takes shape.
And I hate that the fandom, and now the show, too, has reduced Silco to an unhealthy influence in Jinx's life, pushing her towards her "bad" side (being Jinx) when, for all his flaws... he gives her a better childhood than she ever had with Vander. The first three episodes of the first season, to me, when I watched them, illustrate quite clearly that Powder feels unhappy in her family life. She is the most mal-adjusted of Vander's kids. Her older brother constantly berates her, and it's quite clearly having a big effect on her self-image. She later takes up the Jinx name and persona once she feels like she has become irredeemable as a person. Her other brother never defends her. Vi is the only one who is there for her, and they care for each other, but at the same time you can see there's still a little insecurity in their relationship. Vi is worried that maybe Powder is indeed too weak, and Powder worries that maybe Vi does indeed see her as a Jinx like her brother does.
And when it comes to Vander... he's just not really all that present in her life. And I don't blame him, the man has four kids to take care of, on top of keeping things running in the Undercity. It's clearly not his intention. But it doesn't change the fact that he's not there for Powder, not as much as she needs. To me, when I watched the first season, it seemed like Vander was a figure that felt far away to Powder, someone that she admired but also feared being completely herself around, and someone that she ultimately wished to be closer to than she actually was. It's worth mentioning that Jinx never says his name post time skip, and he is not a hallucination for her, not until Vi brings him up in the finale. Hell, Claggor is somehow a hallucination for her and he never even speaks. Vander was just not an influential figure in Jinx's life.
I always found the scene at the end of ep3 of s1 fascinating, because Powder never once mourns Vander. She never once cries for him and never once says his name. When she sees his dead body, she becomes shocked and starts crying, but it's not actually what breaks her. What breaks her is Vi's rejection. Had it just been that she accidentally caused the deaths of her brothers and adoptive father, she would not have crumbled mentally. It's Vi's rejection that destroys her. Now, of course, a little girl that cares more about her sister's affection towards her than the lives of her family members is kinda messed up, but that's what makes her character interesting. And we can see that that little girl doesn't go anywhere, as Jinx displays the exact same one-mindness about her sister. Because Jinx and Powder were never really that different, after all.
She is quite clearly placed with her back to Vander's body, that she never turns to, barely looks at, only enough to recognize him and see he's dead, and never says the name of. She's turned towards Vi, calling for Vi, crying because of Vi, and no one else. Heck, Vi had just been crying over his body a few moment ago. Vi is clearly distraught over his death. Vi is devastated, she literally punches her sister and curses her in the exact worst possible way she can, in the way she know it will hurt her sister the most. But Powder... she just honestly dgaf.
So to then hear Jinx say this line in season 2...
...is just straight up jarring. I was pulled out of the story when I heard this. This is Jinx saying this to Vi. This kinda makes it seem like it was Jinx who was most attached to Vander, or at least that she was just as attached to him as Vi was. Which is just not how things seemed in the story at literally any point until this one. And then season 2 continues this way, and somehow makes Jinx seem like the closest daughter to Vander. Flipping Warwick literally acts more attached to Jinx than Vander ever did to Powder. Like literally. Season 1 clearly sets up that Vi is the favorite daughter, and then they just... flip it?? Warwick cares more for Jinx and responds better to her than to Vi. It's actually insane. It's true they sanitized Jinx's character to hell and back this season, but this is a straight-up rewrite. I can't wrap my mind around why they did this. Plus, the entirety of act 2 they set up this weird and pointless arc of Jinx rekindling her relationship with Vander or something... and like literally her story was genuinely never about that.
(This COULD have been Vi's story. And that might have actually been cool, and made sense. Maybe Vi is the one who finds him, and she is the one who helps him calm down. And then she brings Jinx, and maybe Jinx is terrified because she was never that close to Vander, and then she literally killed him, so seeing him again is the last thing she wants. Maybe VI is the one who tells Jinx that "he was your dad, too", which would make A LOT more sense, and maybe that's the first time that Jinx thinks that oh, yeah, he was... And then maybe they have a cute moment where Vander forgives her. Or maybe she sees the state he's in right now and loses it completely. Or maybe they look at each other and they both see the monster each of them has become. And then maybe Vi looks down at the enforcer uniform she's wearing, and, privately, sees it too. Idk. The things we could have had.)
Silco was actually a good dad to Jinx, in all the ways that Vander wasn't. He gives her all the attention that she never had before. He not only listens to her, but actively asks for her side of the story. He never insults her, and he defends her against Sevika. He trusts her and gives her opportunities to prove she's capable. She goes from being one of four siblings, and getting lost in the shuffle and often ending up feeling forgotten and alone, to being the most important child, always taken into consideration and almost put on a pedestal by her dad (this, like, has to have cured some inner wounds, i think).
Silco understands Jinx better than any other character in the show, and I'm genuinely sad that we didn't get to see any flashback of Jinx growing up with him. Because their relationship was so unique, and so integral to Jinx's character and to the rest of the story, that the fact that we never get to see any other glimpse into their bond is just...
As a final note, I'd also like to add that I dislike when people say that Silco "groomed" Jinx. I think a much more realistic analysis is that he enabled her. And as for all the times he tells Jinx that Vi "betrayed her", that's just a reflection of his own trauma, and also because he fears that if Jinx knew Vi was alive, she would go back to her and leave him (which, considering what goes down in the s1 finale, not an unfounded fear). It's wrong that he does that, but it's not out of malicious intent (also tbh Jinx never really seems to believe him anyway).
And for all the people who say that Silco "turned Jinx into a terrorist" (dumbest people in this fandom fr, im sorry), that's just straight up not true. Powder was already like that. That is quite literally why Silco adopts her. Because he sees that she's like him. Silco would not have taken Powder in if he thought she was just a cute, innocent kid who was orphaned (to, what, raise her for years so that, MAYBE when she's older, she MIGHT be useful to him? when they meet he doesn't know she's the one that caused the explosion, he just knows that she's been abandoned by Vi). This is the kid who thought playing around with explosives was a fun hobby. This is the kid who giggled at the thought of hurting others. This is the kid who already suffered from explosive emotions. This is the kid who saw her father and her brothers dead, because of her, and all she cared about was whether her sister was mad at her because of it. This is the kid who throws herself at the first person she sees, someone who her sister hates, who is the cause of all this destruction, and with an anger that shocks most viewers, declares that Vi is not her sister anymore. She is livid in that one moment.
Powder already had it in her from the beginning. And it's also ok to like a character (and to write one) even if they are not 100% morally pure in every single way under the sun, cause that is quite literally what stories are for.
#arcane critical#jinx arcane#silco arcane#vander arcane#arcane season 2#had to get this off my chest#ik other people have written about this too#but i wanted to make my own post so shhh#i don't even like silco that much but people are being insane about him#this is just yap really
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random list of v3 opinions after experiencing all that again:
the death road of despair segment is the pre-trial highlight of ch1. so damn good. just a perfect microcosm of the game and kaede's flaws and conflicts
maki is funnier than i remember. but she’s at her funniest when she hits shuichi with a devastating insult, usually completely unprompted
ouma and maki parallels and foiling forever and ever. they HAAATE each other. but also it’d be cool to see them get along. the whole point is that they don’t see through the other and believe the other’s lies but still
maki saying she’ll work hard to make people trust her and her talent and that she wants to survive with everyone…ough…
ouma is so mad. he wishes that were him. also that moment where everyone ignores him and tries to comfort kaito after gonta's execution. he also wishes that were him but unfortunately he's been an asshole to everyone and no one likes him so
the only way i can enjoy saio/uma is one sided ouma->shuichi where shuichi is just not invested in the cop/robber dynamic ouma wants at all. it’s funnier this way + saimota inspires a visceral upset within him. he NEEDS to fumble both kaede and shuichi.
on that note i’ve been hcing ouma as bisexual for years partially out of spite
kaito’s obnoxious charm can’t be ignored. if you think you’ve successfully done it, it means it’s just entered an asymptomatic form. it'll hit you soon enough
ch2 pre-execution >>> KIRA BUCKLAND THE VOICE ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE. EVERYONE WONDERING IF THEY MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE BY VOTING FOR KIRUMI. KAITO GOING “IDC I WANT TO LIVE, OUR LIVES ARE IMPORTANT TOO!” KIRUMI INSULTING OUMA <3 EVERYONE CHEERING FOR KIRUMI TO RUN!!! TO LIVE!!!!!!!! GAHHHH SO COOL
kaito and himiko just blatantly lying through their teeth during their ftes. the liars who suppress their true problemsssss. also him shouting that he is NOT GIVING HER A PIGGY BACK RIDE!!! EVAR!!!!! is so funny
himiko I LOVE YOUUUUU. i love her getting overly familiar with people post-development and just accidentally completely overstepping boundaries by insulting kiibo and calling maki "maki roll." she's trying so hard you guys
KAITO IS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC. HE SHOULD’VE BEEN THE MALE LEAD IN A HIGH-SCHOOL THEATRE PRODUCTION AND ANNOYED EVERYONE IN THE CREW!!!! STOP BOTHERING MAKI SHE HAS A POWER DRILL
shuichi and maki doing sit ups and the camera slowly panning to show kaito laying there hands behind his head saying his usual bullshit is one of the funniest moments of the game
tenko and himiko agree that shuichi should transition into a woman. this is true.
I don’t accept tenko slander unless it’s specifically about her obsessiveness over himiko in ch1-2 in which case I can’t defend her
if kaito shaved he’d look 13. for this reason he is legally not allowed to do that.
tsumugi and the background of v3 are SO GOOD. ABSOLUTE PEAK. in execution there are lots of weak points but after thh, sdr2, udg, and the anime series, tell me a meta story about consumption, lies, and depression that ends with the cameos from entire main games’ previous casts doesn’t go hard
don’t deny that tsumugi loved her little ocs. do you not enjoy torturing your blorbos, putting them into situations, and giving them nice things just to take those away?? shipping them and dressing them up??? making silly aus (salmon mode, utdp, arguably dr:s)?
i just wish the writers utilized her more bc i love that so much. she should've wanted to get to get more involved with everyone (giddily see her ocs up close). she should've made even more thh/srdr2 references. players assume the writers are making for cheap nostalgia points, and they are, but it's true in-universe too...she should've been so overconfident that she'd get sloppy with the situational irony... tsumugi you little freak ily
she and rantaro were 100% s52's survivors and you can pry this from my cold dead hands. her dr fangirl self can be her pre-game personality
speaking of pre-game personalities, pre-game content is at best boring to me. how they write ouma is my litmus test. if he's not enough of a nuisance, just in a different way, then it's gotta go
maki is down for a training trio polycule, shuichi is in denial about everything and fears becoming an awkward third wheel, and kaito has been trying unsuccessfully to wink-wink nudge-nudge shuichi and maki into “realizing their feelings for each other” for ages
i still think maki should have short hair. initially I thought just shorter pigtails would be ok but I’m now in the firm camp of a pixie cut with one of her scrunchies on her wrist, with her orphanage-age flashback self maintaining the pigtails. she had to cut them off for practicality’s sake but one of her hidden desires is to be able to regrow it one day. another show of her loss of identity and past life, and how every aspect of her is controlled? such a simple desire at first glance but because hair is such a simple show of autonomy…even more tragic… maybe her doomed childhood friend yuri used to do her hair …hrm…
ultimates are public, influential figures. maki’s had to assassinate friends before (rip her yakuza friend that I didn’t know she had up until recently). maki went back to being an assassin in utdp after graduating. the hope’s peak class roster MIGHT just be a hit list
for someone who includes miu in her top 3 I haven’t talked about her at all huh. it’s been maki central up in here
miu is AWFUL but when her jokes hit, they hit good and hard just like she’d want them to. she’s completely insufferable and deserves to hit ouma (also insufferable) with 3000 hammers. kiibo too but he wouldn’t want to
look just because ouma said he was doing everything for a good reason, do NOT forget that at his core he is a little dipshit. he’s a JERK!!!
brief dip into maki time again. one of my favorite aus is that maki’s doomed childhood friend is actually miu. i'll expand on this in another post
once again: drv3 and rgu are shaking hands about exiting the narrative and the follies of playing hero. read my utenanthy!kaemugi post
v3 is FARRRR from a masterpiece, but it's a solid and fitting Ending to the main games, plus it's got an insane cast with infinite dynamics and a premise which i love to bits <33 and it was the game that got me into dr, so it'll always be special in my heart. also kaito momota luminary of the stars debuted in it which gives it 5/5 stars
#its 4 am help#my post#danganronpa#drv3#ndrv3#training trio#maki harukawa#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#kokichi ouma#tsumugi shirogane#himiko yumeno#miu iruma#those are the main ones....#sadly enough while i like training trio they dont instinctively grip me as hard as ou/mota.#i cant describe my thoughts on them but just feel their purposeful absence. the negative space around them. the black and white imprints
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Consequences
(A character study/analysis that kind of stumbled its way into being a drabble?)
I absolutely love when people play around with the consequences that Jack and Janet's neglect would have on Tim, and the ways it would foster a desperation for affection/attention with little to no regard for the cost or consequences. But I hate when people write it off as, "Bruce saves sad sad Tim from his neglectful parents. Tim finally gets the love he wants and deserves. They live happily ever after." (I'm using affection and attention interchangeably here to denote the same concept of positive recognition)
Because, while i do absolutely think that Tim's neglect, coupled with the intrinsic human desire for companionship and positive attention, would result in a desperation for affection. I don't think it would be that two dimensional. I think that instead Tim with end up with a really complicated relationship with affection.
I think it would play out more like, Pre-Bruce Tim really wanting affection, fantasizing about being saved/cared for, and constantly oscillating between self blame + fear that he brought his neglect upon himself and anger or resentment towards his parents for neglecting him.
But then post-adoption? (induction? whatever?) Tim, watching his fantasies be fulfilled and being absolutely revolted by it. Tim who craves affection so badly, deflecting or avoiding attention and affection when he does get it. Being uncomfortable when faced with the same acts of care he'd spent years yearning for. Running from family dinners and movie nights and any form of platonic intimacy, locking himself away in his room and isolating to avoid the discomfort that bubbles under his skin.
But also immediately regretting it. Locking himself away only to sit in his bedroom and yearn for something that's right outside of his door. Pushing away anyone's attempts to be close to him or care for him, but then being devastated when people pull back and give him space.
Him sneaking out and going to parties, acting out, breaking things all over the manor all for the same attention he pushed away when spoon fed. Him having no regard for consequences because everything he breaks could be replaced, and the worst that could happen to him when he sneaks out is ending up sick, and thus not expecting to be punished or reprimanded.
Because of this, I really see Tim being entirely caught off guard when presented with punishment and consequence. Begging Bruce not to bench him, apologizing, desperately trying to bargain, barter, or hell blackmail his way out of trouble, all to no avail.
And Tim subsequently throwing a literal tantrum as he realizes there's no getting out of this. Because this is the first time Tim has ever been faced with a punishment that contains no loophole or means of negotiating his way out. A punishment he KNOWS will be personally fufilled/carried out by Bruce. Unlike Janet and Jack's approach that Tim is used to, where they rarely cared enough to even remember the punishment, not to mention follow through. Meaning Tim's being faced with, for all intents and purposes, his very first real consequence/punishment as a result of his actions. And that, the unequivocal nature of his punishment makes Tim feel trapped. It’s suffocating, terrifying, and entirely uncharted territory for Tim, which results in his 14 yr old grown ass literally throwing himself on the floor sobbing begging Bruce to let up. Because he feels so absolutely helpless in his situation, he's begged and he's pleaded and he's tried everything he could think of and none of it's working and he has no idea what to do with himself, how to react. He cannot comprehend his newfound lack of autonomy at all and it results in him literally melting down on floor of the manor hoping that it will somehow change the circumstances, or at the very least relieve the caged desperation thrashing in his chest.
And Bruce is absolutely shellshocked to see this 14 yr old straight up collapse into tears so, for a couple seconds, he's just kind of frozen, not sure what to do. And this only upsets Tim more, because on top of the insufferable affection and now overbearing rules and damning punishments, Now? When Tim needs him the most? Is when Bruce decides he's done with the whole caring parent act? Now is when he's being deprived of affection and soothing? When it's the only thing that could possibly make the world around him stop spinning?
And the further frustration manifests in like, the meltdown evolving from just crying and a bit of kicking, to incoherent and self destructive distress. Head hitting, hair pulling, biting, scratching, clawing at himself anything to make the feeling go away, anything to distract him from the fact that everything is wrong and awful and miserable and there's no escaping any of it.
And it's this transition into physically harmful behavior that snaps bruce out of his little trance and has him bending down to meet Tim on the floor. Shushing him and trying his best to comfort Tim knowing full well that every other instance in which he's tried this has ended with Tim making a break for it before Bruce could get more than a sentence out.
Except this time is different. This time Tim is tiny and helpless and heartbreakingly overwhelmed thrashing on the floor. This time Tim is that tiny broken 5 year old, begging the parked cars in the garage to bring his parents back. This time Tim doesn't *want* the comfort, he *needs it*.
And he clings to it like a lifeline. His arms are trembling in Bruce’s hold, and he continues to thrash and fight for a minute, as he fights for shuddering wet breaths. But after a few seconds of soothing, the fighting subsides, and Bruce drops his wrists in favor of wrapping the boy in a hug. Tim refuses to let him go. For the rest of the night.
Yet another,Obligatory self-promo for my DC agere discord server
Join it! Come harass me for fics, hcs, and drabbles personally ‼️ /silly
#batfam#batman#batfamily#batman comics#sfw agere#agere blog#agere headcanons#batman agere#discord server#agere discord#agere server#age regression#agere#fanfic#tim drake#tim drake agere#age regressor#bruce wayne#red robin#dc robin#timothy drake#tim drake wayne
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There's a small theory that I've had for a while but recently felt more validated after seeing what Hori said on the popularity poll livestream
The thing he said being this:
Which is interesting because we all know he infamously said back in 2018 that he planned on revealing Hisashi at some point in the story. Which as we know today never happens. So, it leaves us with the question, what happened?
Because in order for him to say this he must've had something in mind at the time for what he wanted to do with Hisashi. The first time we learn his name is in the BNHA Ultra Archive book that came out in 2016. Never officially translated into English btw so this is all we got.
Anyways this means he had something in mind for Hisashi for a while then, but then he changed his mind and kept him out of the story. He feels he put everyone and he wanted to put in the story and wouldn't change anything.
My theory is that he might've planned to make DFO a thing initially but decided it would be best if the story goes a different route and kept it out.
Because why else would you say you plan to reveal who is Hisashi is at some point only for your story to end with no sight of him? Not even a tiny mention. Let us not also forget how people pointed out that Inko's birthday 07/04 spells out nana shi in Japanese which is like Nana's name. It's also canon that All Might pointed out how her hair reminds him of Nana. So I wonder if he also planned on her being Nana's daughter and had AFO target her as a result. This was also something I found to be rumored among some Japanese fan forums. Even though the translations I got weren't great the little I could understand suggested it.
And even though I lost interest in DFO and stopped believing before the story ended this one panel has always stuck out to me.
Hori is insanely detailed oriented, like during Dabi's first appearance he's in front of a hair salon which foreshadowed that the hair colour he has now isn't his real one and was used as proof in Dabi is a Todoroki theory. So the fact that Hori chose to place the "my only family" bubble over a shot where Izuku is watching everything unfold stands out to me even now. Keep in mind this chapter released in 2018 which was the same year Hori said he planned to reveal Hisashi. Maybe could be me reaching, but still something to consider.
I'm not entirely sure of all of this actually and could be wrong. But it's an interesting theory as to what could've happened behind the scenes.
Another theory that I'm less sure of but can see it being possible is that the elements of the reveal he intended for DFO ended up being used for the reveal with Tomura.
Think about. It's actually crazy how similar the Tomura reveal in 419 was similar to what a lot of DFO fans were hoping for all these years.
AFO took on a whole new identity to get close to a civilian, he helped build the home Tomura would live in, played a part in Tomura's conception, he took away his original quirk, set Tomura up as a successor, and AFO had a big reveal moment that left Tomura devastated... like I remember several posts that theorized things like this about Izuku. The reason why AFO targeted Kotaro in the first place was because he was Nana's son and I remember that Inko being targeted for being Nana's daughter was a big part of the Inko Shimura theory.
I don't know for sure if this reveal was built off of his ideas for a DFO reveal he had initially planned. Really it depends on when he first created the idea of AFO being behind all the terrible things in Tomura's life and if he even had DFO in mind in the first place at some point.
But it's fascinating either way. Either DFO fans were right in how they interpreted some aspects of the story to suggest DFO were true and correctly guessed some aspects of the story that were recycled for a different reveal later on, or they were completely off the mark and by coincidence some of their theories for DFO ended up being eerily similar to how the 419 reveal ended up being.
#anyways been thinking about this for a while so glad I get to post this now#again idk I have some doubts about this and seen others discuss it and it's just my take on it#fine if I'm wrong he probably didn't intend for hisahsi to be this huge thing in fandom int he first place lol#but yeah
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Maybe something festive for the neighbours? Girly gets home from work Xmas party and can hear matty playing guitar and she's all ready to knock and complain about the noise until she realises he's singing Lonely This Christmas and gets all in her feels
anon this is so devastating but also SUCH A GOOD IDEA. kissing you on the head rn.
you're stumbling in slightly tipsy from work drinks. The gallery was very generous with the champagne budget this year, and you can tell from the slight stumble in your walk and your heels in your hands.
you're standing at your door fumbling with your keys when you hear the strumming coming from Matty's apartment. And to be quite honest, you have 0 energy for it. it's past 1am and all you want to do is make instant ramen and pass out in bed.
(more below the cut as usual)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫
so you open your door a crack, unceremoniously throwing your heels inside and turning around ready to give matty a piece of your mind. your fist is lifted ready to knock, but its only then your brain starts to realise what song he's singing along to.
"And the only things I see are emptiness and loneliness, and an unlit Christmas tree" he sings to himself, and whilst his playing annoys you, you can't deny he's fucking talented. strumming along mindlessly, playing it note perfect with his melancholy singing tying it all together.
you freeze for a few seconds, listening intently before you come up with something. you move away from his door and sneak back into your place, scrawl a note on a scrap piece of paper, and grab something from your kitchen counter before sliding back out. you place it delicately in front of his door and have flashbacks to your childhood when you knock and run, quickly but quietly shutting your door before he can get to his.
matty huffs when he hears the knock, assuming its the grouchy old man on the other side of him coming to complain again. but he can't bring himself to care even if it is. he couldn't get back to Manchester this Christmas because of a massive storm, and the boys all had the forethought to leave earlier, so were already home. leaving him in london completely alone until at least new years, and he was feeling appropriately depressed about it.
he opens his door slowly, but blinks a few times when he's met with no-one on the other side. he's about to close the door and chalk it up to his wine drunk imagination when he looks down, and there on his doormat was a small red tin decorated with Christmas trees.
he curiously picks it up and brings it in, sitting on his sofa as he opens it. he peels the lid off and is immediately met with a scrap of paper on top, he picks up the note gently, whispering to himself as he reads it out.
"Matty,
you're not totally alone this Christmas, text me (xxxxxxxxxxx) if you need somewhere to celebrate. I can't promise it won't be a little hostile, but it'll be warm, good food at least.
y/n"
he smiles and places the note on his coffee table before looking properly in the tin. perfectly decorated sugar cookies sit in a pile, shaped like candy canes and wreaths with royal icing covering them.
he doesn't end up texting you, managing to find a last-minute train that was somehow running and spends Christmas in his mums house as he always had before. but the tin pops up back at your door before he goes, filled with flowers and a note simply saying "thank you x"
#anon!#neighbour matty!#sad Christmas#my fav kind#depressing season if we are honest#anyway yes words on a page!#matty healy fanfic#matty healy fluff
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Eleonara, the Mud Witch of Elgin
Lore under the cut vvv
*This universe uses a mixture of book, show and game canon!*
A graduate of Aretuza, Eleonara focused on her abilities as a healer, an herbalist and a skilled Geomancer. And after a failed stint in politics, the sorceress cut herself off from trivial court life and focused her attention on wandering the Continent, offering her services to small villages. Anything from healing, protection, and, perhaps most infamously: Stealing away women, children and the unfortunate in the night, guiding those in need to sanctuary.
Born to a Brickmaker and a local healer, Eleonara hailed from the tiny village of Elgin. Her home consisted of others also working with mud and clay, potters and sculptors, brickmakers and builders, and was hidden in the swamps of Temeria surrounding Lake Vizima.
El was a middle child with two older siblings and two younger, it was a poor family but a loving one. And the girl often spent time barefoot in the mud, tossing rocks further across the lake than her siblings and often excelling in Hide and Seek. In fact, it was actually quite easy for the child to make herself disappear. Whenever her siblings became cross with her, she’d vanish into the mist. Foot races led to opponents getting their feet stuck in mud turned hard like cement, and even bumps and scrapes on a little brother’s knee could be healed with a loving kiss at the cost of a nosebleed or a need for a long nap. Little did she know, this was the result of hidden powers coming to blossom from within.
Unfortunately, tragedy struck when bandits raided the village due to a rumor that gold had been found while mining the clay. Eleonara’s father was crippled from a devastating injury and, tragically, Eleonara’s mother and siblings were lost in the ensuing struggle. From a family of seven to a family of two, the wounds and eventual scarring ran deep. Eleonara’s father was never the same and carried around an everlasting sadness that his one remaining daughter could not heal. Not with all of the love and herbs in the world. The rift between them grew as time passed, only for their connection to be completely severed with the arrival of a teacher from Aretuza.
While Eleonara doesn’t blame her father for doing so, the man was far too uneducated to realize what was happening, the sorceress from Aretuza had been pointed in their direction after a complaint was filed regarding Eleonara’s magical stunts. The man, convinced that he was doing the right thing and that his daughter would be in safer hands, allowed her to be sold and taken to Aretuza. This would be the last time they would see each other.
Given that Eleonara was from a poorer family, she, like many of the other girls from poorer families, had to work twice as hard from within their prison at Aretuza. Providing sometimes dangerous and often grueling manual labor to support the school and its functions. All while not being allowed to leave nor while having any contact with the outside world.
The girl was *not* fond of Aretuza, growing to despise their teaching tactics and means of pitting girls one against the other as a means of achieving power and greatness. But regardless, she applied herself to her studies. She faced some ridicule for showing an interest in Geomancy, a stubborn branch of an especially stubborn and draining element. This ended up being something she ended up studying extensively and excelling in alongside healing and herbal tinctures. She graduated with average marks and was released into the court of an up and on the rise Baron. A Baron who, with his party of fellow men, had gathered and unified large swathes of villages and land together. It seemed a promising start, and with the right hand it could blossom into something more.
It would be Eleonara’s first, and last, dive into politics.
Eleonara was met with hostility, suspicion and dislike from the people. The Baron and his supporters treated her like a lap decoration more than a guide or advisor, and much of El’s advice and attempts to help were met with stubborn and narrow minded means of thinking. It soon became clear to her that these men were simply interested in power and conquest. Disheartened, Eleonara befriended the Baron’s wife, a village chieftain’s daughter taken and forced into a marriage she hadn’t asked for. They bonded over their shared hatred of the self appointed Baron and his men. And when fighting broke out between the men, Eleonara took it upon herself to take the Baron’s wife and her children and guide them back to her home village, there they could escape the country with an old lover.
Eleonara, feeling a sense of duty to Aretuza, remained. Even as the Baron was slaughtered and the power vacuum began, the sorceress staid with each leader until angry and abused subjects burned down the fortress. El simply let her image die with them, and left the ashes behind along with a vow to never work for higher powers again. In helping her friend escape, Eleonara had found her calling: She’d always been good at hiding things. Now she could help others do the same thing.
So she walks the continent, spending long periods of time out in the wilderness and among the earth. She hones her Geomancy and Geokinesis and seeks out the few masters of the element of Earth. However, she often peddles herbs and healing services to small villages and towns. And, occasionally, finding an orphaned child, a battered girl or an outcast, befriending them, and coming for them in the night to take them to a different place to begin anew. Daughters ripped from their families returned, children brought to sanctuary or loving arms of new parents, men left for dead sent to places of healing. It is how Eleonara heals her heart and makes her difference in the world she knows.
However, this has not been without incident. Those who recognize her mud stained clothes call her ‘The Mud Witch’. Handfuls of scorned husbands or hired thugs or witch hunters have been sent after her often. Most of which usually end up encased in thick and hardened clay. Many are under the impression that she whisks people away to be killed and used as sacrifices. And eerie clay figures often find their way into the homes of those who are ‘chosen’. Circles of clay figures can often be found in the woods, acting as a barrier to hide huts filled with supplies and provide temporary shelter for those who wish to journey to their new destination alone. Eleonara herself is a mysterious figure, one who doesn’t speak of herself often but remains level headed and calm in almost all situations. She defends her charges ferociously from monsters and men alike, and is not beneath trying to stand up to a Witcher or two in order to accomplish her tasks.
It is unknown how long she intends to keep doing this for. Perhaps it’s how she feels she can make the most use of her abilities. Or perhaps she’s simply looking for somewhere to belong herself. Regardless, befriending the Mud Witch of Elgin brings with it a deep bond and unwavering loyalty. One that is sure to last lifetimes.
#art#my art#mango does art#mango does ocs#the Witcher#Witcher#tw3#witch3r#witcher oc#Witcher ocs#oc lore drop AYY#eleonara
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Well this post got me thinking about how the humans would react to Raf's death. It also would not be pretty to say the least.
⚠️ Trigger warnings in the tags ⚠️
Both Fowler and June are devastated at the loss. He was just a kid involved in war he shouldn't have been anywhere near. I bet for the longest time they would blame the Autobots for the loss and resent them for it. They would also become extremely overprotective of the other kids. Especially June who was already protective. This whole thing made her lose complete trust in Arcree's ability to protect Jack. (The femme bot doesn't blame her for it) She would try to keep Jack away from the base for any excuse. Logically she knows he is technically safer there but her heart is too scared of being away from her kid. Fowler also can't help but agree with her. He is much more aware and strict about the kids now too. He was even tempted to sorta kidnap them and send them to a secret base in Washington or something. For now he is going to have the kids being monitored 24/7.
Jack is depressed as hell to say the least. He blames himself for not being able to protect Raf. He was the one "meant" to stop their trio from being hurt and he failed. It cycles through his mind constantly on what he could have done to prevent this, how he could have been better, why wasn't he better?
Jack visits Raf's family a lot and tries to help them any way he can. He feels like he has to atone for his failure in some way. Then when that doesn't work to help free himself of the guilt he would resort to "punishing himself." I'm pretty sure you can figure out what that entails..... 🔪
Jack also is much more aggressive about preventing Miko's reckless behavior. He will tackle, and even restrain her to prevent her from potentially getting herself hurt. They have many arguments now and aren't really on speaking terms. He will text her a lot though just to see if she's alive, Miko will always respond no matter what.
Miko at first just went into shock. Her mind went into a complete shutdown. For two days she barely spoke, ate, or just did much of anything; once the shock wore off though she exploded. She ripped off the posters off her walls, broke everything in sight, screamed, cursed out the world, and even smashed her hand through her mirror. Once the adrenaline wore off she clutched her bleeding hand and sobbed. She doesn't know how long she sat there crying but by the time she was done her hand had stopped bleeding and she was covered in dried blood.
Miko stared at her arm the glass embedded in the skin, and felt nothing but seething hatred for Megatron. It wasn't the kind of usual fiery animosity she held towards the man but a freezing loathsome whirlwind that had frozen itself across her entire body. This wasn't some superhero show anymore, where the hero would defeat the villain in a spectacular explosion of power but a cruel war that was going to end with the excruciating death of Megatron.
She planned, rewrote her plans, researched, planned again and did more research. For one of the only times in her life Miko didn't rush into something. Megatron was going to die and there couldn't be any way he would survive or somehow come back from death again. Miko had to make sure it was perfect, Raf deserved it she almost religiously thought. Early into her plans Miko recruited Bumblebee into helping her. The scout hated Megatron just as much as she did. Bee told Miko everything he knew about how Cybertronians could be hurt and the ways to do it. The autobots always feared transformers tech landing in human hands and they had a great reason to do so. Humans had remarkable twisted minds that could think of things that would disturb even some of the most callous of bots.
Miko is no different, especially when she is motivated by pure unfiltered hatred. It took many sleepless nights and three months of preparation but they finally had everything ready. They just had to wait for the right opportunity. By this point bumblebee's anger has calmed down slightly and he was now starting to doubt if they should really do this. The consequences could be disastrous.
You see Miko had realized scraplets or the rust plague couldn't really hurt her so she could easily use them to defeat Megatron. So she has been breeding scraplets, training them, and trying to selectively breed them so they would be able to resist the plague. Miko had the scraplets micro dosed with black energon so they would crave the stuff and be more powerful. Bumblebee would obtain metal for them to eat and he tried to make sure the other autobots weren't catching on. Once they could get on the nemesis Miko would command the scraplets to infect as many bots as possible. They had made around 100,000 of these suped up mega disease scraplets so there's basically no way anyone is escaping uninfected. They were basically sentencing every decepticon to death.
Bee questions whether Raf would want this and Miko just replies,
"It's not about whether he would want this or not but what Megatron deserves and he deserves to die. If I have to kill every decepticon to do it? So be it. I don't care what happens to them, every bot on that ship is a horrible person. "
He reluctantly agrees with the reasoning and continues with the plan.
After the ship would go down a infected wounded Megatron escapes the scraplets his priority would try and cure himself. When he tries to make it he's in for a horrible surprise; while they were preparing the scraplets they had also set out to purposely destroy ingredients essential to the cure (They of course made a lot of vaccines themselves) Any place he might look for the ingredients he would just find a data pad stating,
//Start message
"Hello Megatron, you may not remember me but I do. My name is Miko nakadai, and I was a friend of Raf, the human charge of bumblebee that you mercilessly had killed. He was just an innocent child but you didn't care, why would you? You're the powerful evil overlord of the decepticons, the bot who strikes fear to every Cybertronian who knows of you. Humans are nothing but organic trash that would be crushed under your foot. That's not going to be the case anymore. You're going to care, you're going to see what you have done, and you will regret having ever laying a figure on Raf. You shouldn't have messed with humans and you especially should have not messed with my friend.
If you don't want to die from the rust come to the coordinates X"00'X0.x" alone and we will provide you a cure. Also don't even think about contacting the other Autobots or you can kiss that vaccine goodbye."
//End message
Megatron then would come to meet Miko and Bumblebee. They would talk/integrate Megatron about Raf. Then Miko would pull out the apex armor, activate it and fight Megatron with Bee. If all goes well they kill him (maybe torture him a bit before that) and drop his remains on Raf's grave.
When they do get a hit on the Nemesis location they slightly panic and rush to get things in order. When they are ready the ground bridge opens and as they are about to leave they hear Ratchet say,
"I should stop you shouldn't I?"
The old bot is standing behind them looking at the ground bridge location pinned in on the nemesis. Miko and Bumblebee don't know what to do for a second before Ratchet's words register in their minds.
Should? They think.
Ratchet monologues for a bit about how stupid, dangerous, this is and how he should stop them from doing it. But..... he opens his servo to look down at Raf's broken glasses. He just can't. Ratchet looks at them tears streaming down his face. The same look of pure hatred in his eyes and demands to be there to help kill Megatron. Miko and Bumblebee look at him, they both just simply nod.
Nobody had said a word about it but they all knew no matter what happens Megatron has to die. Even if that means destroying themselves in the process.
They enter the ground bridge together.
Wow that sorta mini fic came out of nowhere. I'll leave it up to your imaginations on what happens next. Thank you @lets-try-some-writing for the inspiration.
Follow me if you want to see the future stuff I write. ✌️
#transformers prime#tfp#miko nakadai#tfp bumblebee#tfp miko#autobots#Megatron#tfp megatron#scary miko nakadai#arcree#agent Fowler#june darby#jack darby#tfp raf#rafael esquivel#tfp jack#humanity#the cruelty of the human mind#miko has committed so so many war crimes#Geneva convention? more like Geneva suggestion#tw implied sh#tw torture#tw implied death#tw blood#tw child death#tramua#a lot of it
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Outside of all of… that happening to Gojo, and finishing Snowfall the other day, eek……..
#I can live with what gege did to Gojo even though it hurts so much bro#but I can’t deal with what happened to Franklin bro that’s one of the worst character endings ever omg my chest….#i meant it in a ‘that’s so fucked up’ way not ‘this is badly written’ because it really does fit his character….. even though witnessing#such a strong and ambitious character turn into……. THAT in the end… bro…………. not Franklin 😭…#his pride left him in ruin… the fact that he actually still had ppl who were willing to stand by his side in the end and help him but he#couldn’t accept it because in his own words ‘I built this shit! and if I wanted to tear it down with my own hands than I will-‘ like he was#so used to being in charge.. the boss… never taking orders from the people who worked for him… and whenever any other character would make#suggestions or decide that they wanted to branch off he’d completely lose his shit because in his mind they’re all stronger together and he#felt like he was losing control of the circumstances that arose and that ‘if only they would’ve listened to ME then everything would’ve#been just fine-‘ and the crazy thing is… Franklin was usually right 😭 like 90% of the time but it’s just he couldn’t communicate with his#friends and peers without blowing up like a demon just because they made their own decisions lmfao#especially without him/his consent lmfaooo he was a control freak for sure#so many awful things wouldn’t have even happened if everyone stuck together and listened but at the same time other characters grew tired#of being underneath him and it was within their right to go do their own thing like I get it#so many things were going to wrong in the end 😭… also teddy is such a bitter bitch bro#the fact that Franklin willingly decided to become…. I can’t even say it…#in the end over receiving what he’d consider a handout is insane…….. living like that? in filth because he’s too prideful to ever work#under anyone ever again even if it’s with a trusted friend… the money really blinded him but I get it#if I had 73 mil stolen from me out of nowhere by a bitter white man just because I told him I didn’t want to do business with him anymore#in the 80’s then I’d lose it too but ong Franklin was too ambitious to end up like this…#he kind of character you’d just watch and instantly think to yourself ‘this guy could go anywhere he wants. he’s no caged bird…’#so it makes his ending even more devastating……..#rambling#if you ever watch snowfall don’t watch the last episode 🥺 please promise me you won’t?
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FINISHED WATCHING MHA MOVIE 2: HEROES RISING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD YO HOLY FUCK I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA
This was truly My Bakudeku Academia. Watching that final battle felt like a religious experience- as if I was watching the birth of Christ. Holy fuck if that really was the original ending, with Deku passing OFA to Kacchan, and the whole "Oh it actually stayed with Deku and Bkg got amnesia" didn't happen, this would have been a dramatically different story moving forward.
Horikoshi really loves Bakugou- like absolutely no question. The story following this kind of ending would be about him continuing OFA's legacy with the guilt of a thousand suns on his shoulders for "taking away" Izuku's dream. Izuku would have continued the hero course as an actual quirkless student. I would love to see aus of this being canon and continuing their story from there.
I'm guessing Nine here was supposed to be AFO, and he would basically be gone too. Katsuma is perfectly set up to be the next protagonist (I can already imagine him using Cell Regeneration as Super Regeneration- he could become invincible while also healing others. Incredibly amazing quirk).
NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT I HAD WAS ADDRESSED. THE REST OF THE CLASS ACTUALLY DO FEEL STRONG AND USEFUL AND EVERYTHING AS SHIT I LOVE IT AAAAAAAA
YES MY GIRL OCHAKO FINALLY HAS HER BIG MOMENT FLOATING SO MUCH DEBRIS!!! I'M SO HAPPY- EVEN JIRO, AOYAMA, SHOJI, TOKOYAMI AND MORE HAD LEGIT GOOD SCENES AND FIGHTS I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH THEY ARE SOOO COOLLLLL THEY GENUINELY GAVE IT THEIR ALL FUCK YEAHHHHH
(note. THAT WOLF GUY CALLED SHOJI UGLY- A FELLOW HETEROMORPH, CUS HE WAS PROJECTING HIS "MONSTER" ISSUES ON HIM HOW FUCKING DARE YOUUUUU)
THEY ALSO MAKE IT ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE HOW THE WHOLE CLASS IS SEPARATED ON AN ISLAND TOGETHER AS A WHOLE CLASS THIS TIME TOO (and not just half like last movie). They even managed to tie it in to AFO, the LoV, and Hero Society. Like it actually feels more grounded and reasonable why the class would be here alone with supervision.
They even add hints of Touya Todoroki with him having a short battle with Endeavor, Hawks spying in the LoV, the HSPC head cameo, and other little things too. Man I loved this fucking movie I would watch it 10 more times right now.
#THIS WAS SRSLY MY BKDK ACADEMIA#I CANT IMAGINE HOW INSANE HORIKOSHI IS FOR IMAGINING THIS AS AN OG ENDING???#CUS WTF. IZUKU GENUINELY TRUSTS BKG SO MUCH IN WANTING TO BE THE NUMBER 1 HERO HES FINE WITH HIM HAVING OFA. WHAT#BKG WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED AND WOULD DO THE SAME THING HE DID IN THE CANON ENDING NGL IF THIS HAPPENED#HE WOULD N O T LOSE IZUKU BY HIS SIDE BRO#IZUKU WOULD CONTINUE AND GRADUATE AS A LEGIT QUIRKLESS HERO EVEN EARLIER IN THE SERIES- WHAT THE FUCK LSKFJKJSD#OK IM JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY GAVE OCHAKO MORE SHIT TO FLOAT LIKE GODDAMN#SHE WORKS SO WELL WITH TSU AND SERO HELL YEAH!!! IM SURPRSIED NO ONE DRAWS THEM TOGETHER MORE AS FRIENDS!!!#(guess I'm doing that now. tsk.)#I have moved on so much from my younger years bkg hate that seeing him succeed and do shit legit makes me so fucking happy-#thATS MY WINNING FIGHTING FUCKING KINGGGGGG#and Izuku being the absolutely selfless and darling sunshine he is and being so deranged in beating this dudes ass. always beautiful.#ily sm izukuuuu#also. brief TODOIIDA YAYYYYY THEY WERE SO BACK TO BACK IN BEATING THE CHIMERA DUDE LKSFLKSJK#yes kiri and tsu were also there and were Awesome- but u can tell its these two back to back#when iida reminds shoto to prioritize saving civilians with his hand on his shoulder yeAHHH thats their THEME RIGHT THEREEE#they both learned that together from deku and now are always fighting side by side fuck yeAHHHH#ok thats enough. i fucking love these movies. idc if theyre basic big selling fight scene crap and are shallow to most ppl#i care abt these kids and this world and its fucking heroes and villains n jackshit so much#if anyone stops me from enjoying this they can go suck their own dick and crack their neck trying. ha.#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#heroes rising#bkdk#bakudeku#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki
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That one chef saying that the worst thing about a bad boss is how they unlock that behavior in you and seeing Carmy mirror the attitude of the chef that terrorized him and gave him panic attacks and then ending the season with Syd having a panic attack because of the stress of working with Carmy...diabolical.
#idk if it's a little too on the nose or not (i literally just finished the season so i haven't had time to sit with it) but that whole#element is so interesting (and so devastating). and the ways that mirrors all of Nat's worries about continuing the dysfunction of her#family now that she has a kid...#i also think its a good portrayal of how not addressing your trauma and leaving things to fester can end up hurting other people way more#than it hurts you. like even if Carmy is okay with choosing to not have a life or to be close with anyone (which. debatable) he's#not the only one whose life gets fucked by that. the mess just radiates out until it hits everyone around him and he ends up creating#the same circumstances that caused his dysfunction in the first place.#even if evil joel mchale chef is right (a+ casting btw very punchable face) and carmy needs to ruin his life to be a good chef#--which is a big if--he's actively making the people around him less able to do their jobs. which then makes the people around them#less able. and so on. so in the end it's still net negative. and like. chef terry proves that he's actually completely wrong#the environment in her kitchen is the exact opposite and everyone is operating at an insane level anyway no abuse necessary#this season was definitely the weakest of the 3 but i rly wanna see where they go next. and they better drop the next bit soon bc that was#in no way complete#the bear#the bear season 3#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#the bear spoilers
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i never ever cry in front of anyone ever but there was this boy i was OBSESSED with in primary school when i was like seven years old because he was the fastest boy in the class and he had cool spiky hair and i always thought it was a crush until i came out and realised it was gender envy of some form and today my friend out of the blue told me that i look like him and we looked at his instagram together and i actually do. i look almost exactly like him. and i cried like an absolute wanker because i’ve been so miserable my whole life being perceived entirely the wrong way and i went home today and looked at myself and realised i look like the boy i always wanted to be when i was a kid. and whenever i feel bad about myself i get to remind myself that i look like him so i shouldn’t feel bad because back then i couldn’t have ever dreamed of getting to look like this. and t will only make it better and even though the idea of starting it is still so scary to me i keep having moments like this that make me realise how good it’s going to be even if some of it will suck. i always focus on all of the ways my transition has gone and will go wrong and i forget that it’s going to go right in a lot of ways too
#i remember what this boy looked like when he started getting spots and what he sounded like when his voice started breaking#and it makes me so excited even for the parts of t that everyone says are ‘bad’#my identity is so much more binary than i tell myself it is. i play it down because being a fully binary Guy who wants to be purely masc is#a lot harder to break to my mother who is devastated even at the thought of me being a masculine woman#i’ve been pretending for a while that i’m more ‘in the middle’ than i really am because of that#but moments like this always remind me that i know exactly what i want to be and what i want to look like#and it’s the exact opposite of everything my mother wants me to be#this shit is going to be Hard. and i don’t expect my mother will stick around the further into my transition i get#which is so unbearable to me that i try not to think about it. i just can’t go back into the closet even for her#i was trying to force myself to do that before xmas and that’s what made me attempt and end up coming out to her#but i didn’t tell the full truth i just said i hate being feminine and i hate being a girl#i couldn’t bring myself to say the rest and i don’t know if i’ll ever say any of it to her#i wish i had a therapist so i could talk about all this as i’m working through the beginning of transition but. oh well
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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also the depth the interiority that idle rambly monologue of the dr's holds, the fact that his offhand thoughts just coalesce into this wonderfully stark image (the tardis, revered, the tardis, reviled, the tardis, the center of a city and then all alone again at the edge of a sea)
#dw spoilers#and god that devastated FACE he makes after he finally opens up to 'donna' only to realize it's not her! and how it evidently jars him#enough back into his old ways of Repression even when he really REALLY wants to properly talk about it with donna at the end#him testing the waters to see if she'll even know what he's talking about before clamping it back down!#god he's so much more open than ten that you can SEE it hurts him to -- in that one shaken moment -- not feel fully able to confide in her#a LOT of really interesting characterization beats in this ep for both the dr and donna! how different donna feels too as we've already#started noticing in the previous episode; where now she feels a sense of belonging and worth at home and is insistent on treasuring it#yet at the same time the not-donna gnawing at her old insecurities and even the dr -- the real dr! -- playing into them even inadvertently#(that she's replaceable. that she thinks she's stupid. that this lack of confidence and self worth is so characteristic of her it warrants#'that's very donna. that's _so_ donna!' even if it's mellowed out partially by 'SOMETIMES she thinks she's brilliant'. that she's not quite#allowed to be different from the donna of a 15 years ago having grown in her sense of worth? or at least. that the dr didn't recognize#her for long enough that he almost accidentally replaced her with a parrot of a copy.)#SORRY LOTS OF CHARACTER THOTS ON THIS 1#doctor who#donna noble#ten point two#i spy an original post
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Tanner 💔
#listen 'feel sad about Tanner' is a daily assignment on my to-do list and I'm not procrastinating.#He has no thoughts but he's trying so hard to have them#you all know I love Blaine and Don E to well and back. BUT YOU KNOW WHO ACTUALLY DESERVED BETTER WHO ACTUALLY DESERVED A HAPPY ENDING??#izombie#fandom#I wish they had given him some little plot of his own. (Though I wish that for pretty much all of the Scratching Post characters)#imagine if they had given him some tiny little episode C-plot where he has to work with Blaine#and they bond a little bit. It would even make Tanner's death more devastating!!*#*this is a trap bc my endgame would be that Tanner doesn't die because Blaine would maybe not kill him#and then Tanner gets away from all of that
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