#so it makes his ending even more devastating…….. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mysteria157 · 2 days ago

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Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black!Fem Reader

Rating/CW: explicit sexual content, cowgirl, vaginal sex, light bondage, power dynamics, teasing/edging, sweating Kento out because that's what I love most, established relationship, MDNI!

WC: ~5.9K

Summary: What happens when you playfully suggest a new dynamic in the bedroom? Utter torment for Nanami, of course. What else is new?

a/n: The writer's block has been absolutely atrocious, but I was able to break free of its clutches with this. Is it Sheriff Nanami? No. But it is smut that's been sitting in my mind so long that it gave me a fever. So...here ya go lol.

Ao3 | JJK Masterlist | Divider: @cafekitsune @strangergraphics | Part Two | network tag: @pixelcafe-network

The silk of his favorite tie is familiar to him—the way it slides through his fingers each morning when he gets ready for work, the weight of it loose around his neck as he shaves, the pop of black against gold in his reflection when he secures it beneath his collar. But it’s never quite felt like this—wrapped snugly around his wrists, rumpled and stretching with every pull of his hands, growing damp with sweat from his wrists as he watches you ride him within an inch of his life.

Nanami hisses, dark blonde eyebrows pitched deep in concentration as he gazes up at you. His usually immaculate hair is a mess, flaxen strands plastered to his forehead with sweat that trails down his neck like a lover’s caress, slipping beneath his shoulder blades to soak into the sheets of your shared bed.

“I’ve changed my mind,” he grits out. He means to sound indignant, frustrated in light of what he’s gotten himself into, but his body tells a different story. His hips itch to cant upward, fingers clench like a madman for purchase into your skin, jaw clicking as he grinds his teeth against mounting pleasure.

You snort as if the very thought of conceding is laughable. The consistent jump of your hips stops, the action shooting a flare of want up his stomach. Your fingers flex on his chest, pressing further as you lift your hips up and up, exposing more of his wet cock to the cool air until just the tip remains encased in your heat. He yanks at the restraints before he can stop himself, a silent plea that makes you smile.

“Are you sure?” you tease, rotating your hips, and the feel of it makes his eyes cross. “If you’re not comfortable, Ken, we can stop.”

The thought of stopping makes his cock throb traitorously, even as his body feels flayed open, every nerve ending exposed and singing. He did agree to this, after all.

It was meant as a joke. Just a random comment you made three mornings ago while fixing his tie like any other day. Like always, Nanami used those precious moments before departing for work to drink you in—his own private ritual of worship. The gentle sweep of your eyelashes as you focused on his Windsor knot, the way the morning light caught the rich undertones of your melanin-kissed skin, that unconscious purse of your lips that made him want to be late every morning.

“You ever thought about letting me tie you up?”

The question struck him like a match against kindling. Nanami is not really the adventurous one in the bedroom—that’s your domain, and he follows willingly where you lead. But the thought of being at your mercy, of letting go of his ingrained control to watch you take whatever you want from him, had his ears ringing. It was something about the way you wouldn’t meet his eyes, the subtle dip of one side of your cheek as you bit down on it, the want radiating from you like heat from a flame…

When it comes to you, he will try anything once.

A joke that became an agreement. An agreement turned into tonight—you in that devastating dress over dinner, his fingers leveling enough strength not to shatter the wine glass he drank frivolously from as he watched you toy with your necklace, knowing what was to come. An agreement turned into a frantic mess of hands undoing zippers and buttons, of smoothing along the soft planes of your inner thighs before his mouth feasted on the pearl in the center, of you giggling like a wanton feign as you wrapped his wrists and notched them to the bed frame.

Just a joke. Just an agreement. Now, here he rests, on his back, on fire, and subtly regretting his choices because he’s a selfish man who wants all of you all the time. And Nanami, like the fool he is when it comes to you, truly thought he could bear it.

“Focus, Ken.”

An absolute fool.

“I’m not uncomfortable. But you’re hardly playing fair.”

You never do. How could you? You’re divinity made flesh, mischief molded from clay—a goddess who delights in reducing him to prayers and pleas. He loves you, desperately so, and has long since accepted that his soul will forever chase the wonderful chaos you bring to his carefully ordered world.

“What could you possibly mean?” you’re coquettish in your question, biting the corner of your lip in that way that makes his spine straighten. His eyes linger on that lip, remembering how it feels beneath his thumb, against his tongue, between his teeth.

“Darling—”

He doesn’t get far. Before the rest of his words can leave his mouth, you’re dropping back down onto him, enveloping his cock in a blistering heat so intense it borders on religious experience. Every nerve ending ignites at once, pleasure searing through him like a brand.

“No talking.”

And isn’t that funny? Because any words Nanami has disintegrated into a powdery mist seconds ago. So, of course, Nanami has no choice but to bite the inside of his cheek until he can taste coppery tang, pulling at his restraints for the nth time of the night and wishing in this very moment to be oblivious to the sounds of your wanton moans that echo in the air.

Nanami’s groan starts deep in his chest, reverberating through him like a growing monsoon as you lean forward, trailing your nose along his throat. Your scent—Shea butter and feminine heat—fills his lungs like incense, a temptation he can’t answer, a shrine he cannot appreciate despite every cell in his body screaming to touch.

“You agreed.”

“To the restraints, not torture.” He can hear the hitch in your breath, that light choke as you try to hold back a laugh. Your hips give another sensual twirl, and Nanami can hear the clench of his teeth. “I want—I need to touch you.”

“Come now, Kento,” you coo in his ear, sliding your tongue along his lobe before you bite down into the cartilage. He grunts, flinching back even as his cock twitches inside of you. “You married me remember? Surely you know my ways.”

“My love—” You twirl your hips again and again and again. Each swivel is representative of a slow churn of his rapidly loosening arousal.

Nanami has always been spellbound by your beauty. From the moment his eyes open in the morning to the moment they close at night, you are all he knows. The curve of your smile makes his heart beat faster, the music of your laugh fills his stomach with butterflies. Without intention, you undo him.

Even now, bouncing on his cock like the vixen you are, you are ethereal. Your box braids sway with each movement, catching the artificial light as they brush across your shoulders that gleam with exertion. Sweat has transformed your baby hairs into delicate curls against your temples and hairline, giving you an almost feral beauty that makes his mouth run dry.

That’s what makes it all the more painful for him. The way sweat slides down your brown skin, the pebble of perspiration along the curve of your stomach, the hypnotic sway of your breasts as you take what you want, it all beckons to him. His mouth waters like a starving man at a feast he’s forbidden to partake in. The base of his spine coils with an inexplicable pressure that blooms along his back. The tips of his fingers tingle from the loss of blood from the restraints and with the desire to touch you.

It’s not fair.

It’s frustrating. Agonizing to the very depth of his soul how badly he wants to reach for you. He’s strong enough to snap these damn restraints—he could easily do it. The image floods his mind unbidden—how easy it would be to snap these ties, to flip you on your back and fuck you so hard you’re crying his name. He can almost feel it—the sharp sting of your nails (freshly done, he notices even in his delirium) scraping down his back as he drives into you without mercy, the way you’d arch beneath him, how your defiance would melt into pleas. His muscles coil with the phantom sensation, his ears echoing the ghost of your cries he could draw from you.

But you wanted this. You’ve asked for a slither of control he freely gives, and he refuses to see a shred of disappointment on your face because he was impatient.

So he waits. Even though his skin is burning from the inside out. Even though his heart is beating so fast, it feels like his chest might cave in. He waits. His cock feels so tight that he’s almost feverish with worry if he can hold on much longer. The feel of your essence coating his thighs and balls, the sound of your moans, the sight of the column of your throat when you throw your head back.

It’s truly not fair.

“My love, please,” he can’t help but beg. He’s never against begging. Not when it comes to you. Not when it comes to unraveling the knot you easily twist inside of him. Already, he’s backtracking. He reaches up just a little, hoping you’ll grant him some part of you—the smell of your skin along his nose, the taste of your sweat on his tongue, anything.

“No.”

You leave no room for argument, pressing against his chest to force him back into submission. Frustration flares like a demon in his chest, curdling and dying instantly against the want that oozes from him.

“Come on, Kento,” you chide, moaning breathlessly as you double your efforts. “Don’t you want to give me what I want?”

Of course, he does. But in moments like this, Nanami wishes he were a weaker man because you’re too wet, too hot, too soft, and tight around him. The silk-soft clutch of your body is turning his mind to static.

Just the thought of how you feel around him threatens to shatter his composure. Pleasure pools molten in his lower abdomen, every muscle tight as a bowstring as he fights his body’s betrayal. He hisses through bared teeth, digs his fingers into the silk encased around his wrists, and yanks until the bed frame groans. His control is quickly failing him, your moans a siren’s song in his head urging surrender. His body responds without question—feet seeking purchase on the mattress, thighs tensing as instinct fights restraint. It will only take a second for him to plant his feet and drive up into you until you’re seeing stars.

But you’re faster. You lean forward to slide your hands behind his neck, delicate fingers weaving through the sweaty strands of his hair before you pull tight, angling his head back so his neck is bared to you in willful submission. The sharp difference between your soft touch and the display of dominance makes his eyes roll back, swimming in the viscera of his brain as a broken sound escapes him, his resistance melting away. His heels slide back onto the bed, forgotten.

Your soft lips press at the juncture of his neck, your braids falling around you both like a curtain, the ends tickling his chest. The scent of your coconut hair oil mingles with the Shea from your skin, making his head spin. The feel of your smirk on his neck—victorious—makes his cock throb, a tight rubber band behind his belly button fraying on the edges, warning him that his time is running out.

You move agonizingly slow with each roll of your hips, sending electricity up his spine, searing his skin everywhere you touch and aching where you don’t. His skin feels too tight, like his bones don’t fit, and the discomfort is as satisfying as it is jarring. He yanks, sweat beading at his temples, sliding down his neck, making everything feel slick and hot and maddening.

When you sit up, you trail your hands down the rigid lines of his straining muscles, admiring the jutting veins and sinew. You hum in appreciation, pupils blown black as you take him in. The small of Nanami’s back arches in just so, preening under your rapturous gaze because he hopes he’s doing well. Even like this—bound and helpless beneath you—his desire to be good wars with his desperation to touch. The praise in your eyes soothes even as it burns.

Look how still he stays for you. Look how good he’s being.

Nanami’s thighs tremble with the effort not to thrust, not to take, not to claim. Each second stretches like the most painful torture as his mind fractures into desperation—just one thrust, one press of his tongue to your skin, one moment of control. Please. Please. The word burns behind his teeth, unspoken and curdling but screaming like a banshee in his blood.

“Getting frustrated, Ken?” Your voice is honey-sweet poison, made breathier by your movements. He won’t rise to your taunts; he lacks the strength for it. So he basks in the attention you lavish with your eyes, your silent praise like invisible hands along his skin. Just as quickly, he closes his eyes tight. If he looks a moment longer, this night will have an unfortunate end for you both.

“Look at me.”

Your demand cuts through the haze of his desire, sharp and unyielding. He’s too slow to respond to you, and all too quickly, he feels your fingers dig slightly into his jaw, forcing his surrender as his eyes flutter open. His restlessness must show because there’s that wicked glint in your eyes, and you thrive on his misery, rewarding him with a kiss so quick and gentle that he’s chasing after your lips for more. You press your hands firmly to his chest, a clear command to be still. With no friction, it’s just blistering heat, his cock pulsing, a whimper dying in the back of his throat.

You shift, and Nanami’s ears register a faint click that he catches with his eyes. Your heels, oh, those clear heels, glimmer up at him as you plant your feet on the soft sheets. Delicate clear straps wrap around your ankles like ribbons on a gift he’s held all night and still not allowed to unwrap, the nude leather making your brown skin glow in the dim lamplight.

The moment you put them on earlier in the evening, they haunted him—from the restaurant to the ride home, the way they made your legs look endless in that dress when you crossed them in the passenger seat. Now, they dig into the sheets on either side of his hips as you use them for leverage, the crystal clear stilettos catching the light like ice. The sheer difference of something so elegant being used in such a primal way makes his breath catch—much like yourself, refined on the outside but capable of reducing him to nothing but baseless need.

“Watch me,” you command. As if Nanami could look away if he tried. Damn you. “Watch how well I ride you while you can’t touch.”

He loathes how the new angle makes his vision swim at the edges, hates even more how each movement strips away another layer of his composure. Every bounce drives him deeper into insanity, making him strain harder against the ties that keep him from you.

“You poor thing,” you coo, the false sympathy in your voice making his upper lip curl, a growl simmering in the back of his throat. “You want to touch so badly, don’t you?”

God. He wants, he wants. He wants with an intensity that frightens him.

You’re a taunting vision above him, and he eyes the champagne-colored dress that’s now bunched carelessly at your waist. It was the perfect compliment for you, silken and caressing your body during dinner while he swallowed his bubbling desire with every generous gulp of red wine. A halter top dress fastened behind your neck that was quickly undone when you pushed him on the bed, your breasts spilling from their lustrous confines.

The hem is rumpled, kissing the tops of your curvy thighs and falling open with your new position so he can see everything between your legs. Dimpled skin that rises up and down, beckoning that he grip your hips and trace your curves with his tongue.

The wet sound of skin on skin drowns out even his thundering heartbeat, and he can’t decide which is worse—watching you take your pleasure or being forced to listen to how perfectly you use his body for your own needs. That controls splinters, cracks, disintegrates, and flutters like ash in the wind.

He’s never wished more in this moment for you to tire out, for your stamina to be next to nothing. But no. You knew exactly what you were doing when you fastened his tie three days ago.

“You ever thought about letting me tie you up?”

Nanami, in his stupidity and endless love for you, saw what he wanted in your eyes. What he mistook for aimless curiosity, was actually calculated, unadulterated mischief.

Of course, he would agree.

That’s why you punctuated your victory with this dress. That’s why you got your hair done yesterday. That’s why you wore these new heels and lathered your body in the Shea butter lotion he loves so much.

A level of strategy so calculated that Gojo Satoru himself would be envious of its perfection.

God, he loves you. Even as he silently begs whatever entity will listen to him to be free of this prison you’ve created, he loves you beyond reason.

“Poor Kento,” you purr, your words cracking through his spiraling thoughts like a whip. You lean back on one hand, the arch of your back pushes your breasts forward, and his mouth waters at the sight. Every cell in his body strains toward you, pressing beneath the surface of his skin and coagulating into a congealed mass.

But it’s the sight of you spreading your legs wider, of giving him a view of all of you, of your other hand sliding down your stomach that truly threatens to break him. Your fingers find your clit, and the wet sound of you touching yourself while he’s buried deep inside makes his vision blur. Those should be his fingers bringing you pleasure, his touch pushing you toward release. Instead, he can only watch, desperate and aching, as you chase your own pleasure.

“Look how wet I am,” you breathe, and his hips buck involuntarily at your words. He doesn’t even bother to feel shame at the glare you shoot his way for disobeying. “Don’t you wish these were your fingers? Making me feel good?”

“Don’t be cruel.” The ties might actually snap from how hard he’s pulling now, watching your fingers work in tight circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your cunt squeezing him like a vice. You’re getting close—he can tell from the way your thighs start to tremble, the way your breath shakes.

Your laugh in response sends searing heat down his spine—musical and breathless and utterly wicked, even though it makes his blood boil. The sound mingles with the wet noises of your fingers working between your legs, the sight and sound of you nearly driving him mad.

“I need—” he chokes on the words as you clench around him in reprimand, his tongue thick in his mouth. “I need to cum. Please.”

“No.” Your voice is firm despite your breathlessness, your fingers never stopping their circles against your clit. “Not until I’m done with you. Can you hold on? Can you be good for me, Ken?”

Good.

A word so simple to a weaker man, but absolute devastation to him. His cock throbs to the increased tempo of his pulse, the festering heat of pleasure pulls behind his belly button, the base of his spine coiling like a snake backed into a corner. His wrists burn from the careful strain of being at your mercy and not breaking free. He’s fighting, but he’s trying—fuck help him, he’s trying to be good for you.

You purposefully clench around him, tight and hot and perfect, watching his face contort in pain. “Stop,” he growls, the sound raw and anguished in his throat.

Your answering giggle is like a knife to his chest, delighted by his desperation. “Make me,” you challenge, knowing full well he can’t. You do it again, squeezing around him as your fingers work faster. “What’s wrong, Ken? Too much?”

His growl turns into something close to a whimper as you torment him with another deliberate clench. And another, and another, and another. The ties creak ominously, his whole body trembling with the effort to hold back.

“You’re cruel,” he pants, but the accusation only makes you smile wider, your movements growing more erratic as you get closer to your peak.

Every bounce of your breasts, every flutter of your lashes, every rapturous moan—it’s all burning into his memory like an iron on his skin. His hands ache for the soft crease where your thighs meet, where your thick curves swell so perfectly beneath his thirsty gaze. The sheen of sweat between your breasts calls to his tongue, taunting him with memories of your salty taste. Everything within reach, yet forbidden.

Nanami licks his lips, his tongue catching the subtle tang of your fading arousal from earlier in the evening when his face was buried between your thighs. Saliva pools in his mouth with the phantom taste of you. His breath catches in the dry crevices of his throat, gargling on a guttural whimper as he catalogs you in your utter devastation.

The crystal clear heels, purchased on that rainy Saturday when you’d lingered at the store window with wanting eyes. The champagne silk dress now bunched carelessly at your waist, chosen by him because he loved how the fabric made you shiver when you ran your fingers against it at the store last week. Those delicate black lace panties, pushed to one side of your pussy and soaked through, that he’d selected with trembling fingers weeks ago, imagining the many times you’d left them on while he fucked you into the mattress.

The gold chain at your throat catches the light with each bounce of your body, dancing across your collarbones like encapsulated sunshine. He remembers fastening it there for the first time on your anniversary, his lips following the metal’s path. Your body is decorated in diamonds like stars—the studs in your ears, the tennis bracelet on your wrist, the anklet that glints at him from his restraints. But it’s the wedding ring that truly breaks him—that symbol of his eternal devotion joining two other fingers that now press against your clit as you climb higher.

His marks cover you like a map of worship—the jewelry he chose, the silk he bought, the lingerie he selected. Every adornment screams his claim, but his hands remain tied, denied by the very exquisite canvas he’s painted with such adoration.

He sees the faint vestiges of the finish line, that light at the end of the tunnel when your hips stutter in movement and your breathless pants fall into a surprised moan that makes you stop. Your head falls back again, exposing the delicious column of your throat. His gums itch, inner cheeks sweating with saliva with the primal urge to dig his teeth into your soft skin. Your body is normally decorated with little marks from him—bruises from his fingers on your hips and thighs, hickeys on the curve of your breasts, cum dripping from your cunt. But tonight, you’re a blemish-free beauty in appearance, devilish in motivation.

“Untie me,” Nanami whispers, not bothering to coat the begging lilt in his tone. “Untie me, and I’ll give you everything you want, love.”

Your head rolls to the side with serpentine grace until your dangerous gaze meets his. You’re glaring without any heat, narrowing your eyes in that playful manner that is always preceded by making Nanami’s life blissfully miserable.

You lift your hips slowly, slowly, slowly, and his eyes fall on the inches of his thick cock that become more exposed to the elements. He takes the abundance of your slick coating him, the thin gossamer bands that lengthen from your joined bodies and snap as the distance grows, the subtle flutter of your walls that suffocate him. Then, without warning—you drop. The sudden rush of wet heat around him shoots electricity up his spine and along his molars that he grinds into dust. He moans harshly, deep, and tortured, shaking from his mouth like a staccato as he tilts his head into the pillow beneath him.

“So good,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him, the words falling from your lips like a prayer. “So good for me, Ken. Always so good.”

The praise pierces something raw inside him. His cock throbs with each word, his fingers cramping white-knuckled around the ties as his body screams louder for release. Your movements grow erratic—hips stuttering and the careful teasing you brandished like a sword dissolving into pure need as your fingers frantically rub against your clit. He cranes his head forward just in time to watch you fall onto your knees, planting one hand on his shin while the other chases your orgasm with single-minded determination.

“Such a good boy,” you gasp, and the words feel like salvation against his skin and damnation all at once. “So good, so perfect, letting me take what I need—staying so still for me—such a good boy—”

He’s never heard those words from your lips before, never heard this particular praise, never heard you whisper in such a way that it sounds like you’re in disbelief by his submission. Something fundamental splinters inside him. The veneer that he’s precariously kept around himself all night fractures with each bounce of your hips. Every muscle in his body pulls taut as he watches you, your breathless chant of “good boy” pushing him dangerously close to his limit.

Your pleasure crests like a tsunami. The bed protests beneath you both, a symphony of creaking wood and flesh on flesh as your hips slam down on him. Your voice rises, tight and pinched fuckfuckfuck's spilling from your lips like a mantra.

Even though he can practically taste his orgasm, his vision tunnels, focusing only on you. He takes in the violent brush of your box braids against your shoulders, the bunching of your stomach, the pebble of tears that gather at the corners of your eyes like the diamonds on your body. Your cunt grips him tighter, so impossibly tight, a velvet vice that threatens to rip his soul from his body.

And then you shatter. Your head snaps back; your jaw drops in shocked ecstasy as his name tears from your throat like a revelation. The sight of you coming undone above him, because of him, despite his restraints, worms itself into his memory. Your walls pulse around him, your fingers rapidly rubbing your clit to draw out your orgasm, milking his cock with an intensity that nearly destroys him. But he waits, trembling on the knife’s edge of his own release until you draw in one shaking breath.

Then he snaps.

With a sharp crack, the ties give way, snapping from the bed posts but still dangling from his wrists. In one fluid motion, he sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed, gathering you in his arms with barely concealed strength. One hand tangles into the braids at the nape of your neck while the other grips your hip hard enough to bruise.

“You’ve had your fun, love. Now let me have mine,” he growls against your ear, pulling your lobe into his mouth and using the leverage of your body and feet planted on the ground to drive up into your oversensitive and still fluttering heat.

The feeling of finally, finally being able to touch you after being denied so long makes his head spin. The feel of you along his fingertips is enough to make him spill inside of you prematurely. Instead, he pistons his hips upwards, sliding his tongue along the skin of your neck as his pants dry his saliva on your skin. He’s earned this—earned every whimper, every clench of your pussy, every broken sound you make. Now it’s his to swallow and take as he chases the burning in his lower back.

You’re completely undone from your orgasm, arms draped loosely around his neck, and barely able to hold yourself up as the painful pleasure of over-sensitivity wracks your body. The sound of you in his ear, the press of your cheek on his skin, and the wet feel of what has to be drool on his shoulder, only drives him faster.

Every thrust up makes you whimper, all exposed nerves, and helpless to do anything but take what he gives. The hand on your hip guides you down to meet each drive of his cock, the movement desperate and precise. Control—something he’s prided himself on his entire life—is slipping through his fingers like water with each pulse of your walls around him.

“Perfect,” he pants against your ear, feeling you shudder at his voice, at how it breaks with need. “So perfect for me. Taking me so well even after—” Words fail him, dissolving into a heady groan as pleasure hot like ecstasy builds in his core, a tide rising higher and higher with each thrust. The sight of you so thoroughly claimed, slurred renditions of yes, yes, please, Ken, please sliding into his ear only drives him faster.

“Always teasing me,” he growls, digging his fingers into your hip and punctuating his words with a particularly deep thrust that makes you whine. “You love—you loved it, didn’t you? Making me wait—making me watch?”

Your only response is another broken moan, your body pliant and trembling in his arms, your cunt hot and thrashing around him. He groans softly, kissing your neck once before he digs his teeth into your skin. You yelp from the feeling, clenching around him so tightly that he feels his orgasm creep like a shadow at the edges of his consciousness.

“I’ll have to get you back for this.”

His threat is undermined by the pure devotion in his voice, the way his hand gentles in your hair even as his hips maintain their relentless pace.

As quickly as his ferocity comes, it fades. He has no more strength to whisper grievances in your ear, no more energy to enjoy your body before he walks to the finish line.

No. Now, he sprints.

That rubber band behind his belly button begins to fray, a thin sliver being held together. The pressure at the base of his spine balloons, pressing against his nerves to make them pulse in time with his thundering heartbeat. His world narrows to only sensation—the wet heat of you, the silk of your skin, the wet smack of his balls against your throbbing pussy, the pounding of his heart against his ribs. He can feel it at the base of his cock, tingling and tight, begging to be let loose and fill you up.

Right there, right there, so close he can taste it on his tongue. His teeth dig deeper into your neck, anchoring himself to you as if he might float away in the thick fog of pleasure. The bed screams, and the broken ties—now a symbol of his freedom—dance along his forearms. But just as he teeters on the precipice, just as he’s about to topple over the edge, you find your strength again. His fierce, untamable love presses fingers into his back, and your lips brush his ear with deliberate wickedness.

“Be a good boy,” you whisper, voice hoarse but triumphant, “and cum for me. Fill me up, baby.”

He’s learned nothing from your devious ways. Those words—though repeated through the night—strike like lightning to his core. Gone is his rhythm. Gone is his control. Nanami’s jaw slackens, a desperate sound caught in his throat as his hips stutter and fail.

His orgasm punches him in the gut, a moan belting from his throat and mixing with sounds he didn’t know he could make. He crushes you against him as he finally breaks, vision whiting out at the edges, hips snapping erratically as he chases every last spark of pleasure you offer him.

Your name falls like reverent worship from his lips, deep moans sliding along your skin like honey as you hold him through it. He’s lightheaded from you—your breathing on his shoulder, the press of your skin against him, the feel of his cum and your slick sliding between his ass. He relaxes his hold on your hip, smoothing his touch over the crescents in your skin and massaging the muscle, feral need giving way to worshiping love.

Seconds pass, then minutes. His mind slowly pieces itself together, orienting himself to reality as pleasure oozes over his skin like molten lava.

His breath is still evening out when he feels you shaking against him. You’re giggling freely, and he can smell the mischief that leaks from your pores. You’re proud of yourself; like all times when you can make him blush and trip over his words, this is no exception. He pulls back to level you with a look that’s meant to be stern, but your laughter only grows, bright and unrepentant as you card your hands through his loose and sweaty hair.

He takes the time to admire you, his beautiful wife. Your skin glows in the aftermath of your lovemaking, the subtle sheen of sweat on your neck and breasts beckoning his gaze. The curling baby hairs kiss the tops of your ears, the glint in your eyes shining with endless love. You kiss him softly, giggling against his lips before pulling away to litter kisses down his neck.

“Are you mad at me?” you ask sweetly, a smile evident in your voice as you trail your love along his collarbone.

His hand strokes up your spine, humming softly. “Never. Though you will pay for this, love.” The threat holds no real heat— how could it, when you’re curled against him so perfectly, when your laughter makes his heart feel so full in his chest that he aches?

“Is that so?” you purr, disbelieving but fully prepared for the punishment if and whenever it arises. “I don’t think you have it in you.”

He won’t rise to your taunts. No, Nanami will get you back, and the next time those tears gather in your eyes, it will be because he’s dangled you over the precipice for so long that you won’t remember your name.

But that’s plans for another day.

For now, he’s content to pinch your side in playful reproach and relish in the harmonious giggle you give him. Before he can react, you’re pressing him back into the mattress, claiming his lips in a deep kiss that tastes of the wine that you both had at dinner. He melts into it despite himself, arousal stoking to life as his cock, still nestled in your warmth, twitches inside of you, his hands sliding up your back as he forgives you without words.

Thanks for reading!!

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darkesthourofthedarkestnight · 2 days ago

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nothing. just soda in the pony dies au.

he calls the social worker one night in a panic that’s been building up for days. only this time, he’s received sandy’s letter, and at dinner, darry didn’t say a word— people are being pulled away from him left and right, and there’s no one to count on. to tell his feelings to.

the very next day, he gets home from work to find a car parked in front of their house. a car far too nice for the west side. an official-looking lady is getting out, and despite the panic swirling in his gut he goes inside as normal. so he’s not surprised when there’s a knock on the door just a few minutes later. but he sees the hope, the fear, the dread that flashes through darry’s eyes— probably one of the first emotions he’s even slightly shown in days.

when the social worker comes inside, she greets darry and soda, and soda forces a smile. he can’t make eye contact with darry, and he knows what’s gonna happen— he knows it’s his fault. darry barely can acknowledge her or get up, and soda sees the pinched smile of the social worker. she asks soda to take her to a separate room to speak in private, and he feels almost sick to his stomach when she tells him the news— darry has been deemed an unfit guardian and soda’s being taken away, effective immediately.

soda who’s escorted downstairs with a meager bag packed. he’s gathered just the necessities— not even everything because he can’t bear to go into his and pony’s shared room. darry who looks up at soda from the newspaper he’s reading and holds his gaze for a second. just a second, and soda’s eyes must say enough because darry tenses up and immediately looks down at the trash bag full of stuff he’s holding.

soda who doesn’t get a chance to speak to his brother— not alone. he’s not even sure if darry will speak in the first place, much less to him. soda who watches in utter devastation as darry’s handed some official papers, and as he’s shoved into a police car like a damn criminal, darry’s on the porch going over paperwork with a strict-looking man wearing a suit.

soda who’s overwhelmed with guilt because he realizes darry might be in legal trouble because of this, too. he’s leaving his brother alone, swamped with responsibilities and grief and an already-prevalent issue. soda who’s really in it now— his parents are dead, his brother too now, and he’s being torn away to who knows what sort of future.

soda who’s absolutely catatonic while he’s in the boys home— he’s barely himself anymore because this time, he can’t escape the feelings or shove them deep down because someone else needs his help more than he does— he has to face them head-on. but he can’t. so when steve sneaks in one night and tries to place a hand on his arm, he flinches and retreats even further into himself.

soda who finally cries that night as he’s laying in bed because all he can think about is the fact that he never said goodbye to his parents. he never hugged pony before he ran away and got drowned by those damn socs. he never told darry he loved him before he left. his life is a never ending series of “nevers” with no final goodbyes or hugs or I love yous. a series of regrets, of things he never did until it was too late.

#apparently I write this instead of working on my fic #so yeah um sorry chat for this flood of angst posts #my post #soda curtis #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #pony dies au #ponyboy curtis #steve randle

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cha-melodius · 3 days ago

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sara hug prompts is wonderful!! so here goes 💚💚

southern philanthropy maybe? (or firstprince if that vibes for ya better) for:

15. The hug where they’re standing between your legs while you’re sitting on an elevated platform of sorts, their front pressed against yours, their arms around your waist; face buried on your neck.

(Ok, I did do Southern Philanthropy for the hug part, though it's from an outsider perspective and, er, less about them than you might have expected. 😅 I hope you enjoy anyway! hug ficlet prompts; read all the hug ficlets)

15. The hug where they’re standing between your legs while you’re sitting on an elevated platform

It had been a rough game. Too many mistakes on their part, too many dirty plays by the other team that went uncalled by the refs, too many moments where they just weren’t clicking. It happens, they’ll move on, but the mood as they file into the locker room afterward is decidedly sombre.

Then there’s Liam, just visible through the open door to the training room, sitting on an exam table with his head bent dejectedly toward the floor. He’d taken a bad fall late in the game and hadn’t returned before the end, even to the bench. Now, there’s a massive bundle of ice strapped to his left shoulder. A few of the other guys call out to him and he tells them it’s nothing in an extremely unconvincing tone of voice.

No one ventures into the training room, unwilling to face Zahra’s wrath for intruding on her domain without permission. No one but Pez, who practically sprints through the door the moment he spots Liam sitting there. He inserts himself between Liam’s knees and rests his hands on Liam’s hips, staring up into Liam’s eyes with worry etched on his face. As Henry watches, they exchange a few words and Liam tugs him into a hug with his good arm, and Pez’s arms wind around his waist as he buries his face in Liam’s neck. They practically melt into each other, tension unspooling from both their bodies.

Henry’s happy for them, truly, happy that they found this in each other, but it makes his heart ache, just a little. He’s even happier that the team environment is such that they don’t have to hide. Not that they’re usually this affectionate with each other when they’re here, but still, everyone knows.

Or, he thought everyone knew.

“Uh,” a familiar voice says as someone takes a seat on the bench beside him. “Is that—”

Henry cocks an eyebrow as he looks over at Alex, who’s staring at Liam and Pez like he’s just seen a ghost. He waits for a conclusion to that question, but it never comes. “Hm?” he prompts eventually.

Alex licks his lips and tears his gaze away from the couple, something frantic in his eyes. If Henry didn’t know better, he’d say Alex was being homophobic, but his sister’s got a girlfriend. Hell, he fought for the team to be allowed to wear Pride gear this year.

“Just— Are they—?” Alex stammers out.

“They are,” Henry answers the fragmented question. Then, because he can’t help it, he adds, “Problem?”

“What? No,” Alex says vehemently, his eyes skittering from Henry to the training room and back again. “It’s just— Liam is gay?”

Oh, Henry thinks, fuck. Does Alex have a crush on him? Is that what this is? Alex calls himself an Ally, loudly, but he also vocally thirsts over hot guys, even more than Henry does. Henry’s never allowed himself to seriously contemplate that Alex might not be straight, for his own mental health. Finding out he might not be because he likes one of their teammates would be fairly devastating.

“Yes, he is,” Henry answers slowly. He frowns. “Did you really not know?”

Alex gulps. “No. He never—” He cuts off with a shake of his head. “Fuck. I— I gotta go. Later, H.”

With that, he takes off like a shot, leaving Henry more than a little confused and wondering if he’ll ever find out what caused that reaction.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #southern philanthropy #my fic #hug ficlets #sorry i love pez and liam but they don't make my brain buzz in quite the same way lol #i'm sure you understand #also henry definitely finds out later lmaoooo

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bloogers-boogers · 3 days ago

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There was a massacre, between heaven and hell after they announced Michael archangel's death. Lucifer didn’t know at the time until they suddenly attacked his palace. It was bloody. They blamed him. He had no idea.

He had killed countless angel in self defense. He didn't mean to. He swore he didn't. But all he could see were beings that wanted to kill and hurt his family. Lilith and he had a very small Charlie at the time and he feared for Lilith’s life and daugther over his or any other.

He had battled along with the seven deadly sins against heaven.

All he ever wanted was for this to end. It took weeks until it had become officially a whole month since the war begun.

Throughout that period they were no longer in hell and had broken into heaven.

Fighting for their lives, fighting for resistance, fighting for revenge, for pain, for anger. In Lucifer's case, it was grief.

No one bother to ask how he was feeling after the news of the death of his brother was said. No one assumed he even cared. But it hit where it hurt the most. His heart ached, the shock inevitable. Guilt. Anyone capable of taking Michael's life must've been powerful? If that were even the case, he didn't even know what caused it, who caused it. Assuming he was immediately targeted as the culprit, he knew it was murder.

That's all he knew.

Flashbacks before the devastating fall, betrayal and creation of eden. When he and Michael were just newly born, pure, unaware and curious.

When they had their fun, laughs and discoveries.

He flew inside some buildings until he landed to the archangels palace. It wasn’t hard to find considering he once lived in these very walls. Now, it was almost just pieces, flames and weak walls threatening to fall.

He looked behind, making sure he wasn't followed or seen.

It was devastating to see the results of war.

The palace was no longer the beautiful peace chamber it once was. While he found himself distracted with the old memories of his once home. Nostalgia was broken the moment he heard shuffling and movement coming from a room nearby.

His attention immediately turned to cautiousness and determination to find whatever it was. Full attention was put on the door.

He walked carefully and silent, closer, before pushing or more in fact, tackling the budge door out of his way. Until it was broken in scattered pieces.

It was dark. He looked left and right before his eyes went straight forward. A pile of rocks broken into the now messed up desk. Half of it was demolished by a pile of broken ceiling and the other was still somewhat looking intact.

It was an office. This entire room was a office. But not just any office. It was Michael's.

But what really caught his attention was the sudden cry that came behind or under the desk in question.

His eyes widen. A baby? No. He furrow in skepticism. This must be a trap.

He went full demonic, his claws out while slowly getting closer to the noise until he reached the very end and looked behind.

Oh. His mouth opened slightly in surprise. A wrapped blanket, so small, so vulnerable, was securely wrapped around a little thing. He couldn't distinguish it well from where he peeked, but he was sure, it was something alive.

He took a deep breath before stepping forward.

And oh fuck. He kneeled down, gently dusting off debris and small pieces of glass from the baby angels face. The first thought that popped in mind was, poor thing. Who would leave such a small indefensible creature here? Then, it hit him..

He was like a replica of his brother.

The strings of his heart were pulled. Some fatherly, other, well... brotherly.

He squinted his eyes with emotion, he looked everywhere for some sorta answer, but nothing. Like nothing was there that told him Michael had a child. Then again. He had found the child inside Michael's office.

The whines and cries grasped his attention again, he immediately but gently grabbed the small bundle and cooed him until he saw the baby fall to sleep, it immediately nuzzled against his chest. Soothed by Lucifer's warmth.

The devil could feel tears wanting to come out. But he shook his head determined.

No. He wouldn't cry. Not now.

He had to get to hell. He had to...

He looked down at the small child nested in his arms. He wouldn't be safe here, nowhere to be in fact. If this was Michael's, and whoever capable of killing Michael was still out there, he wouldn't doubt they would kill it in matter of seconds.

He had to make sure this baby is safe, even if that meant...

Swallowing his pride and retreating back to his realm, declaring ceasefire until he finds a way to contact one of his brothers to speak about this situation in hand, and receive answers of who murder Michael.

His people would call him a coward but it's not like they have much to win if they continue. Neither did he...

He flew back to the first level of heaven, finding himself slithering away back down, without being caught. He taught he'd succeed, the baby hidden inside his vest, protected and shield from any dangers.

But Lucifer was caught off guard when he was tackled by no other then the learder of the exorcists. Adam. The first man.

He glared as he held tight Adam's vicious aim, the axe mere inches close to his face. He growled, red eyes glowing in a warning but Adam kept firm and determined to end him.

It was laughable that this man taught could beat him.

"Running away like you always do, snake?" He hissed out venomously as he tried taking his axe back from Lucifer's strong grasp.

"I don't have time for this Adam! It's over. I'm ending the war! I'm declaring ceasefire."

"As if," Adam laughed incredulous.

"I'm serious!" Lucifer barked angrily.

Lucifer pushed Adam off, before standing right back, "I realized heaven isn't worth the massacre."

Adam glared furious, his yellow eyes glimmer with his fury and he stood up as well.

"You asked for this! This was because you had to kill your brother!"

Something snapped in Lucifer, in mere seconds it was he who had tackled Adam. Punching him many times with flaming fists.

"DON'T DARE CALL ME THE MURDERER OF MY BROTHER'S LIFE. STAY PUT, BITCH."

It wasn’t long since he felt Adam slowly stop fighting back, but he was stopped by the cries of a infant.

He gasped and Adam coughed blood, eyes widen with confusion. Until, they were not. And turned to slow realization.

Lucifer stood up, stepping slowly back.

"I know that whine." Adam muttered almost menacingly. Deadly. Cold. He struggled a bit, but he stood up. His gaze never breaking Lucifer's, as if he was scared if he did, the devil will flee.

Lucifer clenched his fist, glaring challenging.

The tension had become tighter, suffocating, darker.

Adam did nothing but stare with pure hatred at the devil. It took various minutes of nothing else before Lucifer just took this as a opening to leave, but he knew, this wasn't over with Adam.

Something told him, this wasn't gonna be the last confrontation he'll have with the first man, more like, a sealed unfortunate confirmation of having to deal with him in the future.

~~~~

He did what he had promised himself to do. He coward. He didn't entirely surrender but he did in fact call out for a ceasefire. Lilith was disappointed of him but he couldn’t risk heaven finding out he had taken Michael's child.

He didn't like lying to Lilith but he knew if he revealed of this baby she wouldn't be on board with it, which unfortunately was what broke their marriage after he had no other choice but to tell her. She promised confidentially but their relationship was on its downfall. The only thing that kept them together was their chains in hell and Charlie.

It wasn’t long that even Charlie or their kingdom wasn't enough to keep Lilith around.

He looked at his daugther who was now entering this emo phase, stabbing a voodoo doll that creepily looked like a mixture of him and her mom. She declared it as her true self but Lucifer deep inside knew it was her way of expressing whatever repressed emotion she held in regard of his broken marriage with Lilith. They hadn't officially separated but it was mostly because Lilith detached herself completely from them.

He blinked when he felt tiny hands pulling at the tail of his coat.

He looked down and big neon blue, yellow eyes taken his full attention. He was only 'two years' old in angel years. Time flies so fast.

He looked at the child in wonder, "yes?"

He immediately let go of his coat and waddle away from him and then returned back with a book in hands. The book was bigger than him, he chuckled by how cute that was.

"Weed."

Lucifer laughed before patting the now confused little angel. He grabbed the book out from his hand and gestured the boy to sit on his lap. The child outstretched his small wings before Lucifer sternly but gently scolded the boy.

"Now. What did I say about those wings, Beam."

The boy pouted before tucking his wings back, instead, he focused his little feet and hands to climb on Lucifer's lap.

Lucifer's gaze softened before patting his head to comfort the little 'demon', "I know it's hard, it's in our nature but it's unfortunately too dangerous for here."

The boy just looked at him saddened. Lucifer sighed.

"How about I finish reading you this story to cheer you up?" The devil flip through some pages, finding where he had left off.

"Ah, yes. Here it is.. chapter 36. The discovery of finding the city of portal in the depts of the ocean-"

~~~~

To be continued??

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel adam #adamsapple #guitarduck #beam is Crystal from the comic I'm doing he just has a different name base on Lucifer not knowing he had a name

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a-d-nox · 2 days ago

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tarot hypothesis: major arcana and squid game player numbers

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

067 (0+6+7 = 13 -> death)

has a very transformative experience while playing the games especially when playing marbles. unfortunate for her, she has an unforgettable death moment where she's dying from her internal wounds only for 218 to "unexpectedly" kill her before she could succumb to the wound. like the mourners in the card, 456 is so devastated by her death that it changes his outlook on the final game.

218 (2+1+8 = 11 -> justice)

is the first person to mention the voting process to leave the game on the show. also kindly let ali borrow money and his phone... despite the final rounds, he began the games with a level of fairness kept in mind.

101 (1+0+1 = 2 -> high priestess)

perfect definition of reversed high priestess energy, he shows time and time again that his is disconnected from his own intuition - he doesn't know who to trust outside or even inside the games. he also relies too heavily on others when it comes down to it...

456 (4+5+6 = 15 -> devil)

gi-hun is like the terminator he just keeps coming back for more - but seriously homeslice literally comes back to the worst place he has ever been and where he has faced his own addiction with games... also he tends to make the same mistakes over and over like trusting people he thinks he knows...

333 (3+3+3 = 9 -> hermit)

myung-gi is a cryptocurrency influencer... its virgo male coded... but also i would like to predict him dying in darkness or being alone in some fashion during the final season's games. if not that then, i believe 222 is going to leave him in the dust.

388 (3+8+8 = 19 -> sun)

tell me dae-ho doesn't have hella youngful energy? also of naivety??? the sun is explorer so either he is a VIP or he could escape (by mere luck)... OR, which i think is most likely, he will end up being somewhere he shouldn't be and be killed for it.

246 (2+4+6 = 12 -> hanged man)

martyr coded... we just knew he was gonna die... and it's a horribly sad story because his sick daughter is all alone now...

120 (1+2+0 = 3 -> empress)

GET IT GET IT GET IT!!! i am sorry WHAT that is so on the nose. a trans woman as the empress is crazy spot on. i love it!! i saw that and was like *GASP*!!! also *gasp* because its park sung-hoon

007 (0+0+7 = 7 -> chariot)

oof more reversal energy... that man hesitated so hard when it came to getting his mother in my opinion and he hesitated when voting too... not to mention the lack of impulse control that he has...

149 (1+4+9 = 14 -> temperance)

i have seen a lot of people saying that she is a VIP and i disagree especially if this matrix numerology is still spot in s3. she is definitely a "friend" and not a foe.

390 (3+9+0 = 12 -> hanged man)

another martyr coded person. he was set up so the audience would love him and feel like he was a good person only for him to get swept away by someone who he just knew too much about.

222 (2+2+2 = 6 -> lovers)

bro please hear me out... front man's wife died carrying their baby - what if his empathy and projection of his history on to her is what ends up saving her life?? he did make a few comments (no i don't think he just has human decency lol) about taking it easy and to be careful because she is pregnant...

044 (0+4+4 = 8 -> strength)

when i was watching the show i was like i don't see it - i get moon (18) energy vibes but not strength (8) then she had her mini meltdown and i was like there it is... there is the vulnerability under that mask of "faith" in fate.

125 (1+2+5 = 8 -> strength)

then on the other hand... this is an extremely vulnerable character with zero back bone seriously reversed energy...

230 (2+3+0 = 5 -> heirophant)

thanos - tell me that man's ritual was not popping a pill and getting out there in the game.

001 (0+0+1 = 1 -> magician)

OBVIOUSLY no one can trust anyone what equals 1. its a duh moment (even in the 8 show - which i may do next if this does well) - the magician is a creator when upright and a manipulator when reversed...

have ideas for new content? please use my “suggest a post topic” button!

return to nox's guide to metaphysics

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#astrology #astro community #tarot witch #tarot art #daily tarot #rider waite tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #major arcana #magician #devil #squid game

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jujutsukgojo · 3 days ago

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The Baby Project Chapter 8

izuku midoriya x reader

The Baby Project masterlist

Summary: Izuku discovers a lot about you and Noa. tw: angsty, fluff, izuku once again being Papa, izuku and mc being pervy, inside look at the adult heroes. Some of Class A, violence, mc is kinda mean

You grip the edge of the sink and let the water trail down from your face. Izuku’s been by your side since then and strangely, Shouto hasn’t told him what happened between you. It’s been two weeks since you’ve got your points docked and received detention. Snipe hasn't told you how long this will be and if he's taking away your "volunteer work".

The day after Noa went missing, you called and told Yona what happened. Because of the fuckery, both of you decided it was best to keep your job quiet again rather than completely quit.

Your most recognizable and familiar emotions rear their heads as you stare into your bathroom mirror: frustration, anger at the world, and everything that has had anything to do with the flames that burn you. These losses in this battle upon you devastated your pride and dignity. The very thought of the heroes makes you want to scratch their eyes out in retaliation for witnessing one of the most painful things in your life. Again.

You exit the bathroom and see Izuku and Noa taking a nap in your bed. Noa has recently gotten a hold of washable markers and used Izuku’s face as his canvas. Both boys played hard. The clouds hovered in the sky and bits of rain splattered about today, so they weren't able to roll around in the grass like usual.

You sit at your desk and begin to write this week's report log.

"To whomever this bitch ass hero is,

You have some nerve, including you Snipe. This month was not good. Noa went on an adventure and everyone got bent out of shape about it. You docked my points because he wandered around. No one got hurt and your ass got to exercise. I helped with your training and this is what I get. Amazing how deadbeats get praise for what they are literally paid for but I turn around for .1 nanoseconds and you get out of pocket.

All of you can drop.

Anyway, I feel bad for Benio. He is a great dad if you haven't noticed and probably haven't. WILLINGLY. He got yelled at by Yaomomo or whatever her trifling ass is. Now, she is “raising” Kobeni. He isn't mad at me but at himself. He shouldn’t be punished. I don’t know why I bother since you and the rest of these silly hoes have never cared.

Another thing I can report is that Noa is still hitting and has had no bathroom accidents so tell that one dude with the rope to trip and break his neck. Noa still shows a love for cooking! It’s nice that his previous behavior and personality weren’t fully wiped out."

You take a deep breath before you continue to write.

"I have decided to talk to Kaibara with supervision. I won’t leave Noa with him and I will not be alone in the same space as him. Kaibara has shown violent tendencies towards me and Noa, with witnesses present, and I have no guarantee that he won’t hurt Noa even more. This talk will only be me telling him basic things about Noa and getting his signature. Will this satisfy you and save my grade?

Other than you disrespecting me and my robo-baby, he is having a problem swallowing some things. I have decided to feed him soup and mashed things. It happened suddenly when I made him a sandwich. Is it possible that he didn't chew right? Maybe it just went down rough. That and your dusty ass gave him hives."

-------

Snipe sighs after he finishes reading your report log out loud. The heroes sit at the table in the conference room. Each tries to remain indifferent to what they saw the other day, but it is undeniable. What was supposed to be a simple punishment ended up being something they’ve only seen with victims, not normal students. The baby project was created for a reason. It’s experimental and shows where the future heroes, the next generation, stand with public and private care. Whether it be their own families or those they contact, they must learn compassion and responsibility.

What happened to you only proved that they have lost their way. All Might sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “What exactly did you do?” He wasn’t there at the time. Most of the teachers weren’t. Actually, some of them weren’t even called to search because the kids were found so quickly by the third-year heroes.

“In summary, the student lost points and she reacted badly,” Aizawa says gruffly.

Snipe scoffs. “Reacted badly? That's the conclusion to your analysis? I’ve seen her react badly, but this was on another level.”

“Her grades are essential to her scholarship. Having Noa revert to two years old would have been a factor.”

Vlad King rubs his face. “It was too far. There definitely needs to be a check on all of the students.”

Nezu nods. “Although I agree that the impact it had on her grade was definitely a factor for her panic, I can’t deny that Snipe is right, too.” He taps his chin and says, “We must check their health. Not just mentally, but physically as well. I want everyone to be evaluated.”

“What about (Y/n)?” Snipe hopes that his colleagues remember what they felt when they saw you in Recovery Girl's office.

“I think it’s only fair that (Y/n)’s grade be mainly restored. However, Noa and Kobeni did go missing, so she has to lose some points." Nezu taps on the table. "I agree, Recovery Girl. It was cruel.” Nezu thought of mercy for you.

“It’s about time you guys thought of the children.” Her old voice huffs. She smacks the stack of paper on the table. Aizawa looks down at his lap. “We are. Hence why we’re doing this assignment.”

“At the cost of other children? Heroes over civilians?” Snipe’s words echo on the walls and settle into the adults' minds. The reason for the baby project is to prevent and train the heroes on how to be compassionate and raise the next generation with care. To give them a taste of the future. The younger general studies were the perfect candidates in their opinion. It was less risky since they weren't as tainted or exposed as the previous year. However, your reaction revealed something they didn’t expect. Now the question of validity and correction hangs in the air.

Nezu nods. “We’ll keep the assignment and restore her grade-”

Snipe interrupts before Nezu can change the subject. “And a caretaker. I understand that the hero course faces dangers that children can’t be around but my students face challenges too. Look at their grades, their health, all of it. They deserve the same treatment.”

Vlad nods. “I agree.” Aizawa nods and agrees, finally. Nezu puts his hands together and says, “This brings me to Kaibara…”

Vlad sighs and rubs his face. His heavy hand lands on the dark wood table. Kaibara has been a subject he has tried to handle and avoid at the same time.

-------

“Alright, class, we’ve come to an agreement.” Snipe puts his hands on the podium. “We understand your situation about the caregivers-”

“Inequality. It’s okay, you can say it.” Sakura crosses her arms and with a subtle wave of her finger, you spot Jule trying to discreetly pull out his phone. Snipe doesn’t see what’s going on.

Snipe’s silent then takes his mask off. “You’re right. It’s not fair hence why we’re giving you guys one. It’ll be during classes of course.”

The class cheers. This is the bare minimum, but it’s a start. A footstep that’ll help tremendously. Alas, it will not be enough.

Ema waves her hand. “When?”

“How? It’ll be tragic if the caregiver gets blamed just like (Y/n).” Benio’s expression is so deadpan it hurts.

“Enough. Benio, it won’t be like last time.” Snipe takes a breath and looks directly at you. “I’d like to see you after class.”

Riko looks at you and sucks in her lips. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what she’s worried about. She’s worried it has to do with her and if you’ll finally tell the truth. Riko doesn’t need to verbally say it. Her expression speaks for her. Even though you understand, your sympathy can’t fight the resentment from the pain you went through for her, for all of them. To have her sit here and be worried about you being a snitch only rubs salt in the wound.

If she doesn’t back off, you’re liable to tell. She flinches and her focus goes back to her desk. Good. Your classmates and Izuku have been very supportive and empathetic, you can't help the bitterness, embarrassment, and anger. You were so proud that Noa was three years old and just to have that ripped away from you was brutal. Not to mention that she was supposed to be watching the kids. One day these feelings will subside. Until then, she needs to back the fuck off and remember her place.

It feels good to have her remember that she owes you.

You stand in front of Snipe. Today, surprisingly, Noa decided to go with Izuku. It’s not like it is a big deal since he’s handed off and there's no struggle like there is with you.

“I read your log, which was entertaining by the way,” Are you supposed to say thank you? Ever since they did that to Noa, you haven’t said a word in any of your classes. You’ve been called on and asked to speak yet you say nothing. If you do, they’ll use it against you and come at Noa again.

Snipe sighs and scratches the back of his head. His hat moves as he does it. “Look, we decided what happened was out of line. So, to compensate, we’re turning Noa back to three. However, your grade is still docked a few points because he did go missing. But these are points that can be made up. With you being more advanced than your peers, it won’t take long.”

You say nothing even though this is good news and you were acknowledged as superior to everyone else. As you should be.

He waits and waits for a response. He clears his throat and nods. “Oh, and, um, about your parental situation. Kaibara is still the official father, but we recognize Midoriya being Noa’s stepfather. So, your grade in that regard won’t suffer. We understand the situation better and think it will be best to do it this way without taking away Kaibara’s grade since it needs to be documented.”

Does he expect you to thank him? You want Kaibara out of your life forever. Do the heroes want you to jump for joy because they no longer expect you to include him and have given their blessing for Midoriya? Who isn’t even recognized as his real father, but a stepfather. How are you supposed to be happy about this?

Snipe fiddles with his thumbs. “Alright. That’s what I wanted to tell you. You’re dismissed, (Y/n).” You leave without a look back. From behind is a sigh that lasts until you shut the door.

It feels so nice to make him and the others miserable. How wonderful it is that it bothers him and the adults that you're angry, silent, and hurt. So much so, that they've acknowledged what they did was wrong. What about everything else? What about the entire project? There's a lot to pay for and this little morsel they gave will not cover it. -------------

You don't understand why you are nervous about telling Izuku. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t really mean anything. Are you making it a bigger deal than it is?

He stands in the kitchen with Noa on his hip. Noa sniffs a seasoning that Izuku brings to his nose. The toddler wrinkles his nose and says 'no'. This continues until Izuku finds one he likes then has Noa put it into a saucepan.

If or when he has kids, they will be so loved. Izuku is always busy and is easily distracted, but when Noa wants the least bit of attention, his papa will stretch himself thin just to be there. Strangely enough, he’s a blessing. Who would have thought that this guy who you saw on a phone screen for two seconds would be Noa’s papa? A good one, too.

The scene is sweet and domestic. Noa is starting to have very obvious features of Izuku. The more you look at Noa, you can see that he’s grown. The teachers must’ve increased his age already. Taking a deep breath, you walk up to them and ask, “Izuku, can I talk to you for a minute?” He perks up at the sound of your voice. Noa squints his eyes at you. “Mm!”

He still won’t call you mom. You’ve deduced that his ‘mm’ is his version of mom and that he’s doing it on purpose.

“It’ll be a second, bud. I’ll be right back.” He sets Noa down and turns the stove on low. Noa crosses his arms and taps his foot.

“What’s up?” Izuku looks over your face for a clue. You clear your throat. “Ah, Snipe’s bitch ass told me that Kaibara doesn’t have to be an active participant right now.”

“Hm?”

“I was confused about that too. It means that I don’t have to rely on him for my grades. And that um,” You scratch your cheek. “You can be like, Noa’s stepdad or something? I already put you in my reports-”

“You do?” His eyes shine and his cheek blooms a light shade of pink. It looks pretty on his face. “Yeah. I mean, you’ve done a lot for me and Noa so it’s only right.” He sucks in his lips to hide his obvious smile.

One of your hands is behind your back while the other plays with your ear. “Anyway, I just wanted to ask if it’s okay. I’m already doing it but I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“Yes.”

“You can say no.”

“Even though you’ve already started?” You frown. “Well, yeah…you can still tell me no.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m flattered that you write about me,” He licks his lips. “What do you write? I mean, I don’t know much about your reports, so I want to know what you say.”

You purse your lips and roll your eyes. “I tell them that you’re a crybaby that Noa peed on and who likes gory porn.”

The pink on his cheeks spread. “N-no! No, I do not! And he peed on you too!”

“Ha! Not as much as he did you. It was like a fountain. Like, shhh!” You imitate water sounds. He scoffs and crosses his arms, trying to look tough. It's hard to take it seriously when he looks cute.

“He shhh'ed on you first!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Uh-huh! I remember because you started screaming like a sissy girl.” What kind of insult is that? Clearly, he doesn't do this often. Then, you stop and lean in. “Like a girl from your gory porno movies?”

“(Y/n)!”

You poke his chest. “You are a 'prevert'. That’s worse than a pervert. You probably liked me screaming like those girls in those movies.”

There’s something in you, something a little weird and devious. You get closer to him. The space is almost non-existent and gives him a view of your chest if he looks down. He is red from head to toe and stiff as a board. You smile and poke his face teasingly. Right when you are about to harass him some more, Noa’s little voice sounds from behind you.

“Porn?” Both you and Izuku, who has darkened eyes, gasp and turn to look at the source. Noa cocks his head to the side. “No, no, no! Don’t say that.”

Noa squints his eyes. “Go back in the kitchen, buddy. I’ll be there in a second.”

You clear your throat and look down. You were so caught up in messing with Izuku that Noa slipped your mind. His hand rubs the back of his neck. Clearly, he’s in the same boat. “I have an idea,” Izuku slowly grins again. The red has calmed down but not by much. At least he's breathing again. “What if we do our own birth certificate? If you want to! It’s up to you!”

Even after all these months, he thinks he has to ask when it concerns Noa.

“I’d like that.” If it looks cute, you may even frame it.

It’s Noa’s construction paper and has been written in Izuku’s handwriting since it is more legible. He put the words ‘birth certificate’ on the top and the date. There isn’t anything fancy on it other than Noa’s information and your name next to ‘mom’ and Izuku’s name next to ‘papa’. Underneath both of yours is where Noa’s name will go. “Boy, get in here, we wanna talk to you.”

Noa comes around the counter. “I’m waiting!” For him being so young, he’s very vocal and speaks clearly. It’s amazing, actually. Even if he is putting his hands on his hips impatiently as he taps his foot on the floor. He's clearly got Izuku's personality.

“Noa, c’mere for a sec.” You take the paper out and point. “Baby boy, this is a birth certificate. It’s how people know who you and your parents are. See? My name is right here.”

“Okay…” He answers slowly. You rub the top of his head. “What’s your name?” You ask.

“Noa.”

“What’s your full name?” Without hesitation, he says so clearly, “Noa Midoriya.”

You write it down on his line. Izuku sniffles when you finish. “Want to sign it too?” Noa bounces and takes the marker with his left hand and swirls it around. Apparently, it’s his signature.

Izuku twirls him around. You will copy this so you can keep the original. That copy is going right into Snipe’s face and telling him to choke.

----------

After your ceremony and dinner, you decide to pick up the toys that his papa keeps buying him. It’s sweet but a pain to have to help Noa pick up and organize. Right when you bend over to pick up one of Noa’s many toys, he hits your butt. He's been finding it fun to hit nowadays despite your warning.

“Izuku, get your kid before I do. I’ve been trying to be gentle but-”

“I know, I know, my dear. Noa, c’mere.” He pats his lap for Noa to jump onto. “Look, I know you love Mm and don’t mean to hurt her, but you are. You’re hurting people when you do that.”

The kid purses his lips. “Sorry.”

“Are you sorry because you got caught or because you mean it? They are different.”

“Caught.”

“Oh my God…” You whisper. Groaning, you turn to continue your task. The amount of plushies, blocks, his tool kits, and the kitchen supplies he has are more fun than witnessing this.

“Noa, it’s not right to hit Mm. She’s your mom and your friend. You can’t hit her.”

Noa growls. “Yes, I can!” Izuku shakes his head no. “It’s hurting her feelings, Noa. That’s not right.”

Noa takes this in for literally three seconds. He side eyes his dad and says, “No.”

Izuku frowns which is new to Noa. “It's not nice. You are going to stop hitting, Noa Midoriya. Understand?" Izuku's firm voice is just as new to Noa.

You turn to look and see Noa’s eyes watering. His voice wobbles. “Sorry.”

Izuku holds him close and rubs his toddler's back. “Hitting people is in the past. Now let’s grow.” He kisses Noa's wet cheek.

Noa gets down and waddles to you. He squeezes you tight and says sorry. The tears and snot on his face are wiped on your pant leg. You didn't get this treatment when you tried to talk to him.

You put your hands on your hips. “Why the hell-”

Noa points his finger at you. “She smack too!” Snitch ass.

“Imma smack you!”

“(Y/n)!”

Noa listens intently to your words of The Greatest Love Story. You’ve read it numerous times, yet he still gets excited. Strangely, Izuku does as well. His green eyes are so vibrant as you read the book.

Izuku has his head on your lap and Noa lays on his papa's chest that he covers a chunk of. If this project continues for a while, Noa may be as big as he is. It is almost impossible to fathom but likely that the heroes will do that. How do you even care for a teenager? You can barely take care of yourself.

“(Y/n),” Izuku murmurs. You stop reading for him to continue. “Thank you for everything.”

“What?”

“You’ve made me so happy, dearie. I don't know when I smiled so much or even felt this important without the world on my shoulders. I don’t have to fight or die when I’m with you.” He looks away, bashful as always. “I’m…at peace. I’m happy.”

Deep inside, you know it is about Noa. Without him, Izuku wouldn’t give you the time of day. Nevertheless, you’ll take what you can get from him. You will gladly accept and cherish this moment. It's not going to last forever, and you know this. Izuku's new content and relaxed nature with you will end when Noa fades away. Still, you will accept these precious moments anyway, despite the ache it will leave.

“Since the wars, I’ve felt so guilty. Everyone got dragged into it. Even you. For years I let it eat at me, and I always will,” His eyes meet yours. “Then I saw you.” His finger reaches your cheek to poke it. His eyelids are droopy. He's so close to sleep that he doesn't realize he's saying this out loud.

“Thank you for everything. Thank you for listening.” His hand lowers while yours reaches his curly head and massages it. Your hand goes through his soft, thick strands easily. Izuku drifts to sleep and into a peaceful dream. "My pleasure."

--------------

You finish the report happily. It started off rocky but the ending is great. You staple on the copy of Noa’s new birth certificate. Happiness isn’t enough to describe this feeling.

The light of the sun is bright and shines in your room. Around this time, Izuku would Facetime or call. He could be doing anything. Most likely, it’s training since he hasn’t been doing it very often. You still feel guilty when he reassures you that it’s okay. However, he is apparently quirkless and thus needs the extra training that he’s been skimping out on which adds onto your guilt.

“I miss Papa.” Noa’s small voice whispers. His fluffy head peeks out from his blanket.

“And I miss when you used to behave. Think about that.”

He pouts and sniffles. His little feet pad against the wooden floor. You turn in your chair to look at him and spot the blue paper he has in his hand. “You want to give that to him?”

You bounce along to search for Izuku and show him the new cute thing Noa’s done. The little toddler ‘drew’ a big circle and squiggly lines and insisted that they were you, Izuku, and Noa. It will tickle his papa to see that Noa notices the little details and has his own spin on them.

“Will he like it?” Noa squeezes your hand. “How could he not? This belongs on the fridge of fame!” You pick him up and give him a kiss. It’s amazing that even though he’s three, he is so freaking smart.

Just as you open the dorm’s door and stride into the yard, you see Izuku. He is standing with his back turned towards you with his gym outfit on and a towel over his shoulder. Immediately, Noa bounces up and down when he spots his papa. His little hand remains in yours as he tugs on you when he runs. The two of you are in earshot of the group and what is being debated steals the breath from your lungs.

“Midoriya, she’s leaning on you too much.” The voice sounds bubbly. Not the current tone but it reminds you of bubble gum for some reason. Whoever said this must be normally peppy. You can’t remember her name, but she almost beat Kacchan in the Sports Festival this year. The one Noa didn’t allow you to witness and Izuku still holds the video that you haven’t watched.

“Uraraka’s right. You would’ve aced that test had she not asked for your help all of the time.” That one sounds familiar but you can’t place it. At Izuku's sides are a guy with weird elbows, the bubbly one, and Benio’s baby mama. The familiar voice must be in front of Izuku and his built body covers them. Even though you’re shocked by what’s happening, that doesn’t stop you from admiring his figure.

“There’s nothing wrong with anyone asking for help. And she isn’t asking-”

“Didn’t she ask you to babysit?” A couple of times, maybe?

“Hasn’t she literally brought Noa to you when you were studying when Kaibara’s right there?” When was that?

“I think it’s cool that you’re doing this. It really shows that you are genuinely kind. But Midoriya, don’t feel bad just because of what she’s going through. Kaibara is right there. Let him handle that." The tape guy places his hand on Izuku’s shoulder. His easy-to-draw face shows the concern he apparently has.

Izuku clenches his fists and releases. “You have no idea what you’re talking about-”

You suck in your lips to stop them from wobbling. Noa touches your leg. He tilts his head to the side. They’re right. You’ve been too dependent on him. He has absolutely nothing to do with this and you’ve dragged him into your drama time and time again.

Noa shakes the paper with the drawing on it. You leave before anyone can hear him, most of all, Midoriya.

“Papa’s gotta see!” The talking stops. You don’t stay to hear or see anything else that’s happening behind you. They’re right and that’s it. You… you are too reliant. Noa did run away and could have gotten hurt. Did he feel pressured to sign the paper? He seemed happy but heroes lie all the time. Just like now, these people have a smile on their faces when they see you but will say these things behind your back.

You stop walking. What the hell are you doing?

You turn back around and stomp towards the group. “So, I push things onto him, yeah?”

The green-haired bastard turns around. His face lights up until he sees the steam coming out of your ears. “Dear-”

“Hush!” You stomp over to his friends. “Which one? Which one thinks I’m pushing things?” A boy with yellow hair and a lightning bolt stripe on it peeks from around Izuku. Fucking Denki! No wonder it sounded familiar.

You take Noa’s drawing and roll it up. He goes to protest but you slip him under your arm like a football. Without hesitation, you swing his paper at them in various places. Benio’s baby mama is the first to go. The paper swats her in the face then Denki Kaminari is next with several hits. The tape guy gets a jab in the face whereas the pink-cheeked one takes a beating since she has a big fucking mouth.

Izuku tries to grab the paper from you. In return, you swing it at him. “Dumb,” Smack. “Ass,” Smack. “Mother-”

He picks you up and is careful with Noa. “I dare any of you to say-let me go, stupid! Let me go! I’m not done-”

“Yes, you are.” His tone is harsh and stern; it makes you tense for a moment.

He enters the general studies dormitory with you over his shoulder. He goes up the stairs rather than take the elevator. The people who roam around stare at you. Ema in particular stops chewing her sandwich and watches with wide eyes.

You can’t believe this. “Why are you not saving me-”

Izuku goes up another flight of stairs, completely ignoring everyone. He sets Noa down and searches your back pocket for your room key. He unlocks the door and Noa runs in first towards his art set.

He puts you down and slams the door. Looking at his frown pisses you off. “You weren’t going to say anything. How many times have they talked shit about me, huh?” He doesn’t respond. Izuku’s chest falls and rises. You get up and go up to him.

“You suck! God, if you want to leave, then leave!”

“No!” Noa runs to his papa. Ah, shit.

“Papa’s not going anywhere, buddy. Don’t you worry about that, okay?” Noa squeezes his leg. Izuku kneels down to Noa’s level. “Alright? I’m not leaving.”

“She say-”

“Mm doesn’t understand that I’m not leaving. I’ll tell her.” Noa gives his papa a big kiss. Izuku sets him on his bed. Noa jumps on it. “I won’t be high!”

“Good!” Izuku turns to you. “I’m not leaving."

“You didn’t tell them. If we are such a burden, then the door is always open for you to go. I’m not going to let people think that way of us.” He sighs and comes closer. You end up backing up a few steps and hit the wall. Why's he mad at you? You didn't do anything wrong.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. They may be my friends, and I love them dearly, but they are wrong. This is my choice. You have never forced anything on me," His green eyes trail over your face. They soften greatly. "You know, I’m pretty sure they get the hint where you’re concerned. I haven’t seen them look like that in years.”

“And I’ll do it again.” You wanted and needed to release your anger. It's about time you let go. Who knows? Maybe hitting them with paper wasn't the right thing to do. Maybe you needed something heavier.

His hands are pressed on the wall by your sides. “I’m not going. I need you to breathe,” He sighs and leans in. “I’m not leaving, and you are not a burden. I’m happy to be here. I’m happy with you. Let me deal with them, (Y/n).”

Your arms are crossed and you look down. Noa keeps jumping on the bed while witnessing this. Although Izuku assured that he’d handle it, you can’t scratch out what they said nor can you let go of how he acted like a manic caveman. Both things are uncomfortable and he may not fully understand.

“What they said-”

“Is wrong. How can you be a burden?" He stops talking and moves his arms away. Izuku rubs the back of his neck. "How can you be a burden when it's fun to be around you? You’re smart, funny, a good person-”

“Izuku?”

“You’re strong and brave, creative and a fighter.” He's counting on his fingers.

“Um-” You've seen his muttering episodes, but this is the first time it's about you and not your quirk. His low voice continues without a hitch. Izuku looks directly into your eyes without shame. He may not realize that he’s verbally saying these things. “You smell good, and dress nice, you let Noa help you get ready which I think is really cute, and-” He freezes completely. His eyes are totally blank. If he was a robot, he’d be considered on the fritz.

Izuku covers his mouth to quiet the shriek. Because you’re a nice person, you change the subject.

“Look at his picture, Deku.” You mimic that one girl’s voice. What is that pink cheek's name? There is something there that can sense that she's going to be trouble. Not only was she talking mad shit about you, but you didn't like how she looked at her Deku.

You still had a hold on it when he carried you away. You hand him the blue paper. With a grin, he compliments it and agrees that it needs to be on the fridge of fame. “Hear that Noa? It’s going up!”

“Yes!” His little hands snatch it from his papa’s. He runs out the door with the two of you quickly behind. Noa bursts through the kitchen and puts one of the kids’ magnets on his paper. The little cupcake magnet and drawing stand out among the Post-it notes and lists.

“What’s all this?” Izuku, who has calmed down, touches one of the post-its that is losing its stickiness. You shrug and read it. “My list.”

You haven’t wanted to think about it, honestly. Not that you’re procrastinating, it’s just sad to think about. Everyone has a section of the kitchen. Yeah, it’s normal for everyone to borrow something from others, but it is still embarrassing when you’re the one who is constantly doing it. Throughout the years, you hoped you’d appear as a minimalist or something and not the struggling student that you’ve always been. Now that Izuku is frowning at your list and is opening your things, you are becoming mortified. How did he miss it in the first place? He was right here in the kitchen the other day.

“(Y/n)-”

You point to all the items you have. “Noa isn’t going without, okay? Look, I have food.” Izuku doesn’t say anything. Not one word. The clock dings a new hour.

“(Y/n), I want you to take this,” He digs into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. “And get some groceries. I have to go so you’re going to have to go alone.”

His card is sleek and looks new. There isn't any wear and tear on it at all. “No.” Your response is automatic and made from a prideful will that has been built for years. Humiliation can sink into your flesh and make you hotter than a stove all it wants to, but the defense for your parenting and survival is something that can’t wait.

“Bunny, please take it-”

“No! I’m not a charity.” You snap.

He frowns as you point to the clock. “You have something to do, right? Noa, give sugars!”

Noa hugs Papa tight. “I’ll see you soon, Bub. And you,” Izuku points to you. “We’ll talk later.”

As he walks out of the dorm reluctantly. You watch as he disappears and wonder if you messed up. ----------

“Mm! I want something different.” He swishes his spoon that rested in his little white bowl. You sigh and look down at your hands. The soup is one you know by heart and rely on when times are tough. At his age, you were saying the same thing about the tomato soup. You now know what your mother felt during times of struggle. You suck in your lips and try to reason with Noa. “Just one more bite?”

He groans and pouts. He flicks his blue spoon again. “I want Papa.”

Yeah, this is way too familiar. “Noa, one more bite. Then you can talk to Papa. It’s dinnertime so he may be on his way.” Noa lights up and bounces in his chair. He happily scoops up some of his food and chews the noodles. “Mm, okay!” He extends his arms for the phone. You dial for Izuku and hand Noa the phone.

The entire time you don’t speak another word. You grab his unfinished food and your empty bowl that you reluctantly ate. In the pot is the soup you grew up with and you too became tired of it. You stir it as you look at its bits of onion and noodles.

“Mm, here you go! Papa had to leave but he’ll be home, okay?” He kisses your cheek and runs away to the living room. You wipe your hands on your apron.

You see the soup in the pot again and pour it out. You hang your head low and hit the counter with your hand. Relying on Deku for everything is not an option. You are an independent person who has fought and lived through the rough patches. No way are you going to rely on a partner for a project. What if you become accustomed to it? What if you become reliant on him and lose your way? He’s a nice man who decided that he really likes Noa. Nothing more than that. It’s ridiculous he offered his card in the first place.

Noa only ate a few bites. You need to get him to eat a little more but what? He’s been so picky lately, that it’s hard to keep up. At least Izuku feeds him well. When he’s with you, he refuses. Damn, your stupid, stupid pride. You take a deep breath and bite your lip. This project is stupid. What purpose does it serve? How is this helping you with anything other than increasing your hatred? Not just for heroes, but everything and everyone? Noa’s feelings about the tiring soup in the sink are too relatable. This project makes you feel so guilty, so inadequate. Is this how your mother felt when raising you? Did Izuku’s mama feel this way, too? Does he share the same feelings as you have right now?

Behind you, a familiar voice calls out. You quickly wipe your face as Noa’s hurried little feet pad across the floor. Speak of the devil, and he’ll appear. Izuku Midoriya stands behind you with Noa in one arm and a pizza in his other hand. The gesture is nice, it’s great. God, do you want to crumble that pizza in his face.

He sets them both down and grabs Noa a plate. “Here you go, bud. Go sit at the table.”

You remember back in the day, your mother would always say that the crust was her favorite part. Back then, you thought she was weird and didn’t realize that she was lying so you could eat. Looking at this giant pie that’s in front of you, you don’t have to repeat her words. And God, you hate Izuku for it. You’re happy and grateful even when this ball that goes from your stomach to your chest feels like he’s doing it out of spite. He’s not doing it to hurt you, you’re positive of that. He probably already picked it up before Noa called.

“Hey.” Izuku walks to you tentatively. His eyes scan you for anything out of place. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Dear, please.”

“I’m fine.” You walk past him until his arm sticks out to block you. His hand is spread against the wall to your side. His fingers still have specks of dirt on them and his knuckles are red again. What happened to his suit? He must’ve had a long day.

“Darling, please, what’s wrong?” You shake your head and side eye him. You miss the days where he was a bashful puppy dog. You’re happy that he’s comfortable and doesn’t look constipated all the time, though. “Nothing.”

He furrows his brows. “Did something happen? Did Kaibara mess with you?”

“No, no. It’s not that. I’ll deal with it on my own. It’s a personal problem.”

“The teachers? My friends? Who did it-”

You stop him. “No one did anything! It’s not that!” He sighs and tilts his head. “Please tell me. I can help.”

You know he can. He has given you the answer but it isn’t the answer you want. You need to stand on your own and here he is saying lean on him, let him carry you. This is new. Brand new and so shiny it hurts. You’re afraid to break it so you begin to hate its temptation to use it.

His provision won’t last. The project could end at any time.

“I don’t need you.” He looks struck for a second then recovers quickly. “Is this about the card?”

“No.”

“(Y/n).”

Noa tears into his slice of pizza that he dismembered. The cheese is to the side and has been picked on like a bird’s pecks. “He’s not eating what I can give him.”

“He’s at that stage. It’s normal, (Y/n).” You shake your head. “I mean, I can only give him the same thing over and over. He’s tired of it.”

Izuku hums and grabs a hold of your shoulders. “Well, that only means we’re going to the store.”

“I don’t need-”

“I’m his dad, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I have to make sure he eats and if that means filling the fridge up, I’ll do it.”

There was a time when your mother would have jumped at this kind of offer. The time she was sick of soup and a five dollar pizza was a luxury she only got once in a blue moon. Now, here it is in front of you. It’s shiny like a diamond but temporary.

“I’ll pay for my own things.”

“If your friends were to ask you for something, would you give it to them if you had the means?”

“Yeah.” Maybe. Not likely.

“Good. Now eat so we can go.”

-----------------

Noa is hand and hand with the both of you. He swings around and giggles. Izuku looks at you in the corner of his eye. “I don’t mean to trample on your feelings.”

“Which one?"

He sighs. "I'd like to hear them all, if you don't mind."

You point at him and answer, "I'm not accustomed to being manhandled or told what to do, first of all." He twirls a green curl. A subtle flush blooms on his face. "Sorry about that. It was wrong of me, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was, you deranged caveman. And this," You wave your hand in the air. "I'm not used to it."

“I understand." He licks his lips. "I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I want to do the exact opposite."

Noa doesn't notice the conversation. Or maybe he does and isn't caring. “I appreciate it, I swear, but no one has ever done any of this, y’know? It’s like giving up the reins.”

“You're not-”

“Then I look at him and think I'm failing.” Izuku holds the door open for you. Noa skips the lines on the floor, hopping over them so he can stick to his pattern. Izuku grabs the cart and sticks Noa inside it, much to the toddler’s dislike. “You are not failing.”

Izuku brings out a sheet of paper with your handwriting on it from his pocket. He must’ve taken it when you weren’t looking. Seeing the length, it feels like someone is reading your homework in front of the class and you got every question wrong.

“Stop comparing yourself to people who have more and realize how far you’ve gotten without the resources they have. Noa is the oldest out of all of them. That alone should tell you that you are,” He puts his hand on your back and rubs circles on it. “An amazing mom. Don’t listen to those thoughts, okay?”

He reaches behind you and pulls All Might fruit snacks from the shelf. You roll your eyes. “That’s not on the list.”

“It is for me.” He looks at the box and murmurs about it being Silver Age All Might. You laugh and he perks up. "There she is."

The three of you continue on through the store, putting things in the cart from the list and then some. You are looking at noodles when you hear Izuku’s excited voice.

“Hey, look!” Izuku goes to a small section of hero merchandise. “Noa, do you like it?”

Izuku holds an All Might t-shirt in a slightly bigger size for Noa. Then, much to Izuku’s dismay and surprise, Noa wrinkles his nose and says that he doesn’t like All Might. Not because of the design of the shirt, but because to Noa, All Might wasn’t a good hero.

You’re going to strangle them both. Here you are with a cart filled with food and your two boys are arguing. Izuku Midoriya, the famed Deku, is arguing with a three-year-old on why All Might is a great hero.

“Nuh-uh!” Noa shakes his head. You cover your face with your hand. “Yes huh!”

Several people turn to look at the scene. Some look amused and others look at you to separate the two boys. You yank the shirt away and put it into the cart. You pull both of their ears. “Okay, Noa, you can wear the shirt to bed so no one will see it. Izuku, it’s okay if he doesn’t like All Might.”

“Ow.”

“Hush. Y’all so embarrassing, oh my God.” Noa sits in the cart which you leave with Izuku. When he opens his mouth, you snap. “Eh! No, it’s done, it’s over, boys!” You walk away shaking your head. Other mothers raise their eyebrows in shock at the two miscreants.

“Sorry, sorry.” You quickly head to the other aisle.

Suddenly, you hear two voices not belonging to your boys. They call out Izuku’s hero name. Curious, you peek around the corner to watch. He is stiff as a board when they take pictures with him. You can’t help but smile at his discomfort.

The guy in the yellow points to Noa. “Oh, it’s one of the U.A. babies!”

“I thought they were smaller?” The other sport horns on their head and has whiskers.

Shit, shit, shit! You turn into the aisle. Before you can take another step, Izuku’s soft expression towards Noa makes you stop. “Yeah, he’s mine. They grow! He’s already three. Aren’t you?”

Noa kicks his feet and repeats his age. It’s heartwarming seeing how proud he is of Noa. Alas, there is a deep feeling that this is about to go south soon. As if you manifested it, one of them asks, “So, when’s the big showdown anyway?”

“What?”

They ignore his question and keep talking. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see at least one hero give a damn. But I still don’t think this project is fair.”

You suppress a smile from their support. “I agree. It doesn’t make sense to me and a lot of us. But I’m happy to be a part of it. I mean, look at him!”

One of the fans bounces and waves at Noa which he returns. “He looks just like you!” Clearly, Noa favors you! Now is not the time to argue about it, though. What you need to do is get Izuku away from them.

“He does look a lot like me, huh?” Izuku’s voice is soft and his eyes match the tone. It’d be a sweet moment if his fans weren’t talking.

“Doesn’t that mean you spend a lot of time with him? I saw on-”

“Yeah! The class with all the babies talks about it a lot. Leave it to Deku to be a great dad to Noa!”

Izuku’s bashful face turns into confusion. “Wait, how do you know-”

“From the videos. What are they-I think General Studies are putting an argument together! Isn’t that cool?”

Izuku’s eyes widen and his mouth parts. The horned one waves their arms. “I-I’m sure not you, though! I mean, look at Noa! Clearly, you’re one of the good ones.”

“As expected! Even though heroes are acting like shit.” They mutter.

Izuku turns his head to you, who is standing at the end of the aisle no doubt looking like a deer in headlights. His fans follow and wave at you. “See! Her, right there.”

You were so stressed out about the project, you forgot that people have eyes and memories. You didn’t expect people to recognize you. If only you could have snuck out of here like a smooth criminal.

“Good luck with Hawks!”

-----------------

Izuku carries in the groceries all by himself while you handle Noa. He even helps put the stuff away despite it being past curfew to enter the dorms. The three of you barely made it in time.

“Izuku?” He remains quiet and picks Noa up. He goes to your room, making you follow him. Like the magician he is, Izuku managed to get Noa to sleep just by walking to your room. He changes his son's clothes and tucks him in.

“He can brush his teeth in the morning.” Noa’s papa whispers. In his hand is the bag with the things Noa threw in there. Some toys, a random hat, and a magazine about pandas he found in the checkout. Izuku takes all of it out and starts to put stuff away.

“Izuku, please say something.” Izuku straightens up with more of Noa’s things in his hand to put them in the proper place.

“I need some of his things in my room too.” If it were a different situation, you may have giggled given how fatherly he’s acted today while wearing a t-shirt that hugs him loosely with the word “Dad” on it.

“S-sure. We can do tomorrow since-”

He interrupts you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You start to stutter. “B-because I knew you’d be against it since it has to do with your friends and the teachers you adore so much. If you knew that we’re building a case against you guys, you’d’ve been furious!”

He doesn’t say anything but continues to put Noa’s things away in drawers. He then goes to your bed and starts to make it. “Izuku, please. You know I’m right.”

He stops tucking in the comforter and stares at you. “You should’ve told me, (Y/n).”

You shift on your feet and bite your lip. “Izuku, I’m not trying to hurt you. Just the heroes and your friends.”

He sighs and finishes the bed. It’s pristine and so tight you could bounce a quarter on it. “Why can’t you be honest with me?”

“About me going to your boss’s boss and telling him of this travesty? You would have accepted that? Come on, Izuku. You’d’ve hated me. Hell, you’re mad now!”

“I know I’m mad! I’m pissed off. Not just because you’re going to attack my friends and our teachers, but you lied.” He fluffs your pillows and arranges them in proper order.

“Lied?”

“Lying by omission. You didn’t even say anything. Damn it, (Y/n). Why didn’t you trust me? Why aren’t you giving my friends a chance?”

You scoff at his take and his hypocrisy. Does he not remember hiding the caregiver situation? “A chance? They’ve had months of chances and they’ve turned them away. And your dear teachers add to our pain with no remorse. Yes, yes, I didn’t tell you. Yes, I am taking everyone to the hero commission. It's going to hurt. But this is happening. We’re struggling, we’re in pain. Damn it, Deku. How many times do I have to cry in front of you for you to understand what’s really going on?”

He clenches his fists then let's go. You continue your rant relentlessly. “Not to mention that whole caregiver thing you were hiding! Yeah, I still remember that. So, let us not forget who the liar is here.”

"Oh my-" He stops in the middle of his sentence and looks around your room. You roll your eyes and gesture around. "You're running out of things to clean. What's next? The windows? Need some Windex?"

His eyes go to your window and to your door. He heads to it before he's stopped by your hand. "Okay, no, no, no!" Izuku's nostrils are flared. The deep frown looks like it'll be permanent if he doesn't ease up. He clenches his fists repeatedly then lets go.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n), I’m sorry! I get it. A false hero society, right?” He sighs and plops down on your bed. Izuku rubs his face. “I know, I know. You’re not the first one.”

The confession makes you freeze. He goes on, “What’s happening is wrong. You’re right about that. But why couldn’t you have told me? Trust me? Yes, I messed up several times. Probably more than I’ve made you feel safe, (Y/n).”

He’s hurt you and lied. However, he has made you feel safe before. You aren't taking that from him.

“Because these people are heroes and you look up to them. I couldn’t risk you turning us in when we’re not ready. I’m still afraid you’ll go against me,” You stare into his green eyes. “I’m gunning for all of the heroes. The way you feel the need to fight a villain is the same way I feel. We’ve been wronged time and time again. You can’t see it since it’s not happening to you. Izuku, hon, you’re important to me but this is important too.”

He can keep a secret, just like he did when he knew you were working. But this concerns the people he loves. His steps reach you in no time. He whispers, “It’ll hurt me. But as long as it’s you, then fine.”

Before, it may have been genuine but now it sounds like he’s reminding himself to set an alarm clock or do homework. After a few beats of silence, you ask, “Are you going to tell?”

Gazing into your eyes, he says, “I’m going to help. Tell me what to do.”

If he’d let you, you’d give him a kiss that’d rival his dream. The one that was from The Greatest Love Story. In the book, it is said that there were only a few legendary kisses. If he would want it, you’d give him another. Not because you’re using him for the cause, but because it’s him.

“Honestly, I need help with um, insider information,” He raises his brows. “I also need help with school. We all do, actually. You see, this project is messing with us. It’s hard to take care of kids, go to school full time, work, and plan mass destruction.”

You intended for that to be playful, and it fell flat instead.

“I’ll help you. We can study together some more.” He tilts his head. “I have some of my old notes that you guys can use, too.”

You know what he’s doing. Izuku’s trying to distract himself from what’s bothering him. Because of Noa, he’s put himself directly into the line of fire. Metaphorically sacrificing himself. And this happens after he thanked you for being a safe haven. How do you make it better?

“I’ll take Noa more often. We need to bond more anyway.”

“Are you sure about this?” His green curls move when he nods his head. He hugs you, fitting your face against him. “What’s happening is wrong. It’s not fair to you or anyone else.”

You nod and hug him back since he’s muffled your mouth. He has gotten relaxed with you to where he can talk and touch without turning into a tomato. Izuku doesn't hesitate to call you an affectionate name since the two of you are friends. He feels comfortable enough to argue with you without stuttering. You don't like that but at least he'd tell you what he feels. Right now, you ripped that away from him.

Suddenly, his pocket vibrates. Izuku hums and brings it out. On it is the name Ochako. He hides the message and sticks it back in his pocket. Before you can bring it up, he hugs you again.

His shoulders shake and there is a sniffle in your ear. “Izuku, be honest with me. If this is too much, let me know.” You whisper.

In response, Izuku rubs your back in circles. You know that he agrees that the baby project is nonsensical, but the people who you are punishing are his friends and comrades. Heroes need to be put in their place but Izuku's crying. How do you make it less painful?

You hug him tighter and place soft kisses on him as wet droplets fall on your shoulder.

@xoxoangellll @js-favnanadoongi @imas1mpp @candiiee @moodyhuesworld @dinorawrss @luvrluvrr @bigchungusdrinksspritecranberry @d4n1elll4 @4ishere @lunavixia @shortchubbybibi

if you weren't tagged let me know!

#midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #deku #deku x reader #bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya #bnha izuku midoriya #mha izuku midoriya #q #The Baby Project #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic

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wato1876 · 7 hours ago

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wato im halfway thru parrots unstable vid and the way you left actually hit me so hard. ARGHAGAGRG

everyone else acting: yeah, I don't know if this is it... wato1876: *on the verge of tears, staring at Wifies, "always have a way out"*

you make me sick /pos

I’m glad you enjoyed my amateur voice acting! Everyone puts in a lot of effort, I just find it very easy to put emotion in my words, and its fun, it adds depth to an otherwise very high octane. Disappointment is very common in unstable and that tone is heard a lot, but Wato wasn’t sad because *they themself* didn’t have a way out, yes they wanted to be safe, but essentially their entire world was crumbling around them, all their friends went every which way. Wato may have a hard outer shell, and extremely blunt, but what hurts more is seeing someone who cares so genuinely much about something being ripped at one by one. If Wato was the first to go, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but seeing everyone leave before him sunk him deeper and deeper into pain. The idea of Parrot seeing his final hope seep through his hands and the devastation he must feel really is what broke Wato.

I have experienced things like this IRL (obviously not as severe, but the sensation you get leaving high-school for the very last time, and standing alone as the field slowly clears for the very last time). I react the way I do because my character has a lot of empathy (the point it hurts him emotionally), and understands why people do things they do. Wemmbu abandoning Sky Civ -> He wants to save himself and truly didn’t care if it meant risking himself. Wifies leave Parrot last episode when going to Farlands -> He just wanted what was best for Parrot since he too saw Parrot ripping himself apart.

Wato secluded himself for so long because he knew he was susceptible to being hurt, and he knows having friends/attachments is a weakness. He knows they are but still cares about people. I tried to show Wato as a dynamic character that changes throughout the videos and reacts how any normal human would. Confused and scared. Not every line is perfect and every action won’t make full sense, but when have we- humans- been perfect.

I like the humanity in a character, the imperfections. That is what makes a good character. Not their tragic downfall, but just the limits of a being.

If I had a beefier computer, I’d make something insane. Editing speed because of lag is my only bottleneck. I love stories, always have. This is just a small slice of stories I want to convey. Even End Barrens was not to what I wanted it to be.

Wato1876

Thought I should at-least give y’all one big character lore drop before I go to bed for the night. What can I say, writing is fun.

#unstable universe

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ghost-proofbaby · 19 hours ago

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When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💛

this caused a sweet walk down memory lane of the last several years, so thank you very much for that <3 i've decided to exclude long fics, and focus more on one shots posted here, because in all honesty? every long fic i write for a character i hold near and dear to my chest, and each one is a love letter all on their own (i'm looking very hard at you two, the shire is burning and the moon will sing.)

you showed me colors (eddie munson x reader)

yes, very sad, but also i just adore the world building i managed in this fic. absolutely tragic but also the sweet moments really did give me a toothache. i think it did well on encapsulating both the feeling i got as i fell for eddie while watching the show, as well as the devastation when the canon ending to season 4 happened. a slightly different story, an almost parallel universe, and yet it all ended the same. big tragedy. big feelings. but the love is still there <3

2. foolishness and all (eddie munson x reader)

this one is honestly pure silliness, but it also just captures my love for eddie so... nicely? so perfectly? one shots like this one and no denture adventure just always serve to remind me why i love eddie, why i love writing, and just the sheer joy of fandom/being a fan of things to the point of wanting to immortalize them with my words forevermore - even when the words are inside jokes or entirely unserious for the most part.

3. sweet like honey (steve harrington x reader)

the notorious fic in which i've had snippets of sent to me a few times where i go "WHO WROTE THIS? I NEED TO READ IT!!" only to be hit with the fact that i wrote it. was the final nail in the coffin in the way steve owns the nickname "honey" for me, too. we love cocky king steve. long live.

4. simple. (astarion x reader)

this one i love due to the way i got to play around with a new dynamic between astarion and reader/tav <3 his character, including his trauma, is something extremely personal and important to me, so venturing out with this type of writings with him has always been a slippery slope for me. but i genuinely enjoy what i did here <3

5. kissing lessons (robin buckley x reader)

and of course... how can i not include this lovely work in which helped me take something sour from my past, and make it sickly sweet? robin has been a huge fictional crush for me since season 3, and getting to put myself into a reader while giving them a happier ending than reality was just very fulfilling to me <3 makes my heart sing that so many others enjoyed it right along with me <3

this was so fun and nostalgic, thank you so much!! 😭🖤

#thank u ily <3 #shire will always be one of my top fics i ever written but that simply isn't fair these days #i do have another fic in the works that makes me feel almost the same as i did with shire and i think it's because of the approach i took #tmws is also climbing right up there. the fantasy novel wrapped up in the disguise of a fanfic of my DREAMS

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jackalopedaily · 10 hours ago

Text

HOLY FUCK.

Spoilers below the cut

LIKE ACTUALLY I AM SO APPRECIATIVE OF AN IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF HIM FOR DAYS IVE BEEN WONDERING FOR SO LONG SO MUCH HOW MUCH HARUKAS DEATH IMPACTED FUUTA. Even more to that, Fuuta was voted unforgivable for causing the death of Killcheroy. Moreover we saw how he felt about it, in both his VD and MV. He felt guilt and he felt loss. He knew what he had done to Killcheroy now that it was being done to him. And well, Killcheroy committed suicide just like Haruka. Now imagine how Fuuta would feel over that. Being unforgiven over causing the suicide of Killcheroy by slandering her with words. Then being unable to save Haruka despite the words he said to him and how he's tried. Oof, Well! That's gotta hit pretty fucking hard!! Well, I guess it would've been worse if he wasn't forgiven. But I wonder how he feels being forgiven because we realize we're no better, huh? Our reasons definitely leave impact too and that's been recognised by Jackalope himself! Haruka's cell isn't far off Fuuta's either, I wonder how he feels just looking at that empty cell. This is both absolutely lovely and devastating to me. Like this is actual peak writing. It really is like a chess game, our moves matter and sometimes play into a pattern which can be recognised or predicted and maybe even created as a concept before. But in the end we've got to play and in order to play the pieces have to fall move after move. By the way, I don't think anyone in Milgram is alive or will live past Trial 3, it's just my perspective after reading up a little on the Stanley MILGRAM Experiment.

I'm SO ill they make me cry AUGHAGAGAGHAHHHGDHDHDHDHBDB

There are a lot of things within Milgram that will look a lot different in hindsight. There are going to be a lot of people who may not have been there in the moment that will go why did the audience vote this way instead of that way etc.

How could none of them tell these people were bad?

The knee-jerk reaction of a lot of people who were there may be to get defensive and go well it was different in the moment. It was stressful and we were literally working against the clock. We only had three months. Plus, at times the day one verdicts for the prisoners were so decisive that most of those three months were spent getting them down from where they were at.

But like hear me out- Fuck that.

Yeah, I mean that. Fuck that shit. No one needs to explain the process to anyone else that comes trial three or after it. Milgram is a once in a lifetime media experience meant to be lived in the moment and looked at an entirely new way after that moment has ended.

Once hindsight finally sinks in fully that feeling of what one thought they knew conflicting with what they now know. Well that feeling is everything in a series like Milgram. A series where the characters relish in their lies, the swinging impressions and interpretations, revel in the idea of changing Es' and by proxy the audience's opinions on them.

They're throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks just as much as the audience is.

I think it's important to look back reasonably and say to ourselves man that was something. That was intense. It was a moment that felt like an eternity. It was a race we either won or lost.

That's Milgram.

I think it's important to appreciate those trials for what they were and what they gave. So we can better appreciate and understand what they've led to. To make it a little easier for us all to let hindsight in regardless of how stupid it makes us all feel or how heavily it may bruise our egos in order to reckon with the new moments we have ahead of us.

I think the most interesting thing to occur over the course of trial two were the prisoners responses to Haruka. Be it his situation or the news of his plan. Because looking back on it in hindsight... It's incredibly heart wrenching isn't it?

The audience slowly watched Haruka go through someone trying to put himself out there again albeit awkwardly and not that much to isolating himself in his room for days on end. Tearing himself up inside over what he felt he needed to do to protect the one person who ever looked at him in the way he wanted. The one person who had ever loved him in the way he wanted to be loved for better or worse.

His closest person.

So, close and so idyllic, in fact, he said she was his mother. Because she fit what he'd always wanted from a parent. Care, attention, being present. Picking out clothes for him to wear, showing him new ways to style his hair, telling him better ways to communicate with others. The proper way to communicate with others.

"Then what should have I done instead?! Tell me! Tell me, so even I can understand!"/ "It's not like I asked him to do that!"

Q.07 You just got given one million yen and need to use it up as quickly as possible, what will you do?

Haruka: I don’t know so please do it for me. I’ll give it to you.

Mu's Second Voice Drama Queen B

"It's not like I asked him to do that?"

I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like a born queen. No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words, but with pheromones.

"My sorry spells must be wearing off."

Mu: Mm... Mu's scared what if the warden changes his verdict and then terrible things happen to me.

Haruka: What no warden-san isn't like that.

Mu: But what if what they see next makes them realize Mu is a bad girl and they end up hating me...

"Hey, what if- If I am a bad girl. Don’t hate me."

Haruka: Don't worry I'll protect you- I'll talk to the warden for the both of us. They already forgave us once they wouldn't suddenly change their mind entirely-

Haruka Voice Drama Two Metamorphosis of the Weak

7:39 "Even though you said you forgive me..." You were told upfront that this is a three-trial system. "Why are you bullying me like this?" I'm not bullying you. I'm simply trying to figure out whether I should forgive you or not- and by extension whether your actions were wrong or not. "There's no way it was wrong! If I hadn't done it, nobody would have looked at me!" You killed to gain attention? The you who was never loved by anyone? "That's right! Because if I just remained a good-for-nothing, nobody would ever care about me!" Just because of that, someone- "Aren't I the only unfortunate person here?! Because I'm the only one who could never do anything right since I was born, because I could never do the same things as everyone around me, my mother gave up on me and I stopped existing in her world!"

It is so funny to read that last part again then look at Kazui in Cat going-

"I can’t stop, I can’t be normal."

And his second voice drama is just him lamenting the same thing. Like Yamanaka lowkey put some comedy in here that can only be appreciated in hindsight.

Haruka

"Why am I like this?! why does it hurt so much to just exist- I'm so sorry I had you waste your life on someone like me."

"Why was I born like this? Why does it hurt so much?"

Kazui a few trials down-

"Why am I fucking like this? Why can't I just be normal? Why do I have to let my cowardice dictate every social maneuver I make and every word I say? Just gotta keep lying it'll work out eventually! After all it's easier to be a let down than get let down! Can I get a witness bring the band in! Let's get swinging-"

"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."

Sorry, I'm digressing Kazui was threatening to derail this post harder than Haruka derailed the collaboration art one. Not this time old man. Ahn one more before we hit the road-

"I can’t stop, I can’t stop- Am I still INNOCENT?"/ "I can’t stop, I can’t be normal."

Got damn it another one courtesy of Star,

"I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling."/"I wanted to be loved, just like a cat."

Okay, now get out of here old man this is about the young man!

Mu was someone so important to Haruka that even after everything Es said to rile up and upset Haruka in his second voice drama he decided to try to be on his best behavior for her sake,

9:26s

"Haa... I'm sorry, warden-san. For causing you trouble." ... "My mother was Muu-san all along." Huh? "Muu-san is my mother." I don't think that's right. "It is, though." Is that really something you can deny... "Muu-san praises me. The useless me... She praises me, acknowledges me, looks at me, and she needs me. My current self only exists thanks to Muu-san." You did say you had two benefactors. So the other one was Muu, huh? "That's right. As long as Muu-san is here, I feel like there's a meaning to me coming to Milgram." ... "I've met my real mother. So, I'm happy. I'm sorry for causing problems earlier. I need to be a good boy- For Muu-san's sake as well."

10:52s

"U-um, I'm sorry, kind of..." Suddenly acting all well-mannered...! Is there something else you want to say? "U-uh something I want to say... Something I want to say..."

I'd appreciate if people could listen to the way Haruka speaks here the stammer and hesitance in his speaking. How when Es prompts him to say whatever he wanted to to say he says something I want to say, something I want to say. Voice cracking almost as though he knows what he should be saying but doesn't want to.

The voice direction on this line says a lot more in hindsight than it did back when this came out, huh?

11:08s

If there's nothing, that's fine. "...No, there is something..." What is it?

"Warden-san, Muu-san is afraid of Milgram."

"Please don't scare Muu-san anymore."

11:21s

You're worrying about a stranger in a situation like this? "Yes. Please forgive Muu-san next time as well." You sure are asking something of me here. Viewing Muu as your mother is great and all, but she might only be kind to you in order to use you, you know. "So, what?" ... "So, what if she's using me. Isn't it a good thing to be used? For someone to think of me as worthy enough to use me... isn't that something to be happy about?" Haruka...you... "If you don't forgive Muu-san, I'm going to kill you." You really have no learning ability whatsoever. You can't kill me. "Ah, right... Then... I'll kill myself instead." You...! "Was that against the rules too?" Not as far as I remember! "Hehe, hahahaha! See! I'm not an idiot, right?"

So, for whose sake was this again?

23/02/19

Haruka: Guard, can you hear me? You can, can’t you?

Haruka: I meant what I said in the interrogation. ……please forgive Mu-san.

23/04/07

Haruka: Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. PleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-san

"Don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out- I just want to be your good boy."/ "If you want to betray from jealousy- You know what’s gonna happen ON YOU."

"I need to be a good boy- For Muu-san."

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?

Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I……

Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently

Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

Yet, when Es asked her why she wasn't trying dissuade him from possibly harming himself even though they were friends. Even though she was the closest to him.

Even though she influenced how he dressed,

How he conducted himself while speaking,

21/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Haruka: Y-Yuno-san. Good morning! T-today’s your birthday, right……? Ha-happy birthday……!!

Yuno: Oooh…… Thanks? You’ve definitely changed a bit huh, Haruka. You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk.

Haruka: Eh, ah, i-is that so…… I wasn’t, aware of it myself, but…… Heh, hehe. Is that so.

Yuno: Ding ding! My sensor is telling me…… this is probably a girl’s influence. Well, everyone here is slowly changing, I guess. Even me.

"Hey..why don't you listen to me...? I'm telling you... Hey...HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

22/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me.

Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen.

Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things.

Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the the guard to see. ……the new, me…….

And even his behavior while she wasn't even in the same room as him,

"I've met my real mother. So, I'm happy. I'm sorry for causing problems earlier. I need to be a good boy- For Muu-san's sake as well."

"Then what should have I done instead?! Tell me! Tell me, so even I can understand!"/ "That's right! Because if I just remained a good-for-nothing, nobody would ever care about me!"

Haruka's Second Voice Drama Metamorphosis of the Weak 8:15s

Just because of that, someone-

"Aren't I the only unfortunate person here?! Because I'm the only one who could never do anything since I was born. Because I could never do the same things as everyone around me- My mother gave up on me and I stopped existing in her world."

"The things that aren’t here, and the unneeded things- Is it still living somewhere?"

Haruka's Second Voice Drama Metamorphosis of the Weak 8:30s

And you believe that killing someone because of that was the right thing to do?

"I don't know! Then what should have I done, in your opinion?! Even after stealing things important to her, my mother still wouldn't show any interest in me! Then what do you think I should have done?!"

Despite all those things and Haruka's clear desire for guidance when asked why she wasn't dissuading him from his plan Mu just went why and how could I. It's not like I told him to do that, it was his choice and as his friend I should support him.

Because that's what friends do they support each other.

"Are you planning to tell me 'that's not what friendship is'? Then what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial to everyone involved isn't it?"

So, why would I try to stop him. Guard is it just that you haven't had many friends.

She said all that right after leveraging his life for her own benefit within her second voice drama. She tried to build distance between herself and Haruka's behavior all while stating.

"Ah-but if you don't forgive me Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that."

Because that's just the sort of person Mu is. She wants all the benefits from an action and none of the responsibility. It doesn't matter if people are just doing things because they wanted to help her. Because she instigated or implied. She didn't ask and they were always free not to get involved.

They didn't need to pity her or try to help.

They could have just not listened. It's not Mu's fault they did. She's always been a drama queen after all. If they want to twist it to make her look like the villain then-

"If you’re going to make me the villain- It’s ok to ignore me."/"Hey..why don't you listen to me…? I'm telling you… Hey…HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

In hindsight it really appears as though Mu just said all that to preemptively say well whatever happens to him isn't Mu's fault.

Haruka's actions and choices are his own as his friend she should support him but it's not as though what he does is Mu's responsibility. Besides guard you could just vote me innocent and that won't happen. You could just vote everyone innocent you know. Isn't Mu so smart and helpful.

Please don't recognize that as the person closest to him I could just tell him I want him alive more than I want to be innocent. If you did that I would look really bad but luckily no one is going to- Hey, hey stop that what are you no- NO!

This is all Kotoko's fault.

24/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Mu: You know, I think this is all your fault really. Everyone’s on edge because you lashed out. And because of that, nobody’s paying attention to me any more. It’s kinda boring. I don’t get it.

Kotoko: ……you went out of your way to say that to my face? Aren’t you scared of me? The next target of my fangs might be you.

Mu: Why? Kotoko-san, aren’t you punishing the bad guys? I didn’t do anything wrong. And anyway, fufu, you’re talking like you’re fine too. Aren’t you gonna be not forgiven too this time? What will you do then? Start biting yourself? Fufu, that’s hilarious. I want to watch.

Kotoko: ……you’re good at provoking people. I’ll pray that you won’t be forgiven this time. When that time comes, I’ll be sure to crush you.

Yeah, it's definitely not that a good majority of people who listened to the Queen B voice drama heard how callous and inconsiderate she was in regards to Haruka's well being. Then went,

"Well if this is how you think friends are supposed to be towards each other no wonder your life is like this."

Or saw her behavior in It's Not My Fault and aptly came to the same conclusion as those who watched the voice drama then voted solely off that.

It's not like anyone thought if she didn't care if he lived or died than why should any of them? She's the closest person to him and has lived with him in person for years and wasn't even batting an eye at his plan. So, why should the audience or Es be phased by it.

Like she said none of us told him to do that. That has nothing to do with us. He made that decision all on his own and could renege on it if he so chose to. Mu didn't come in her second voice drama going,

"Guard I'm really scared Haruka may hurt himself please just vote me innocent to stop him."

No she came in there and said that him telling her his plan made her happy and really feel their friendship. Then proceeded to say that was Haruka's choice, it's not like she asked him to do it, he has his own free will. It seems like the audience just agreed a little too hard and went you're right Mu that was his decision.

He didn't need to threaten himself like that. Why did Haruka put himself in this situation? Well we'll never know. So, guess it has nothing to do with you or us. Since that's the case we won't take that into consideration when it comes to your verdict.

"Oh before I forget, about Haruka Sakurai......are you sure about that “guilty” verdict? Weren’t you offered some sort of deal? I mean, not that I care. I guess that means you thought the same."

It simply doesn't matter we didn't force him to do that but he is trying to force us to vote you innocent through saying he'll do that. Something that many people may just take issue with in and of itself. Who am I to say I'm not every voter in Milgram.

Though, a good part of it could have been pushing Haruka out of a 50/50 several times and then into guilty. Like you said it's Haruka's decision that has very little to do with us. Again, it's not like we told him to do that either. I mean Mu didn't do anything to stop him right it's just like you said Mu,

"We are just the same."

"Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting."

No one made him do that. It's not the audiences fault or Mu's. He decided to make that promise and follow through on it of his own free will so sad too bad.

Mu's Second Voice Drama Queen B

12:28s I sure have understood that talking to you isn't getting me anywhere. But I guess I'll take your little explanation into consideration. "Ah- but if you don't forgive me Haruka-kun will die. So, I'd think it'd be best not to do that." ...! [Bell tolls] So you've heard about that no sense, too? "Mhm! Haruka-kun told me! So I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy. It made me really feel our friendship!" You know about it, and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is? "Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend. "Isn't it exactly because he's my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?" ... "Are you planning to tell me 'that's not what friendship is'? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial to everyone involved, isn't it?" I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all. "No way... It's not like you know what's good for him." ... You sure are tough to beat. "I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!

Given what transpired over the course of the intermission and all this I'd have to say Es was right with their assessment on how beneficial Mu's friendship was for Haruka. Because honestly with friends like these who needs enemies? He tells her he's going to kill himself and her first thing is it's alright because that's what you wanted to do and it will benefit me too! You're such a good friend Haruka that makes Mu so happy.

That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!

Even though Haruka said from the beginning of trial two he was doing well in Milgram.

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……? Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……? Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly…… Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself……haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

He'd been enjoying himself a lot- So much so he never wanted to leave,

Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram?

Haruka: I want to stay here forever.

He was even beginning to like himself,

Q.01 Do you love yourself?

Haruka: I think I like myself now.

He was happy in Milgram he even went as far to purport that if he was in Milgram from the start then he probably wouldn't have even wound up doing what he did.

Q.10 If you could turn back time, would you commit the same “murder”?

Haruka: I don’t know. If I was in Milgram I probably wouldn’t.

Hell, in his second trial written interrogation he flat out said he didn't want to die.

Q.17 How old do you want to live to be?

Haruka: I never thought about it. I don’t want to die.

But yeah no one else had any input when it came to this plan at all. Despite the fact that up until the end Haruka continually said he wasn't doing this for himself he was doing it for Mu's sake to protect her.

23/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……please, don’t tell anyone. And also, please, don’t get involved. All I can do, is ask, you……

Kotoko: ––Fufu, fufufufufu. That’s a crazy thing to be thinking. Honestly, it’s weird. But I don’t hate it. If only all the wrongdoers were like you.

Haruka: No…… that’s wrong…… That’s not, why I’m doing, this……This, isn’t for me…… I have to protect…… so, Kotoko-san…… please……

Kotoko: Eh? Ah, yeah, yeah. Well, I promise I won’t get in your way. Honestly, if I could, I’d love to do it myself, but I’ll step back this time. As for what happens next…… I wonder. It depends on Es.

Not to repent for any of his behavior, not because he felt ashamed, or unhappy at his new verdict all for Mu.

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?

Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I……

Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently

Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

"So, what if she's using me. Isn't it a good thing to be used? For someone to think of me as worthy enough to use me… isn't that something to be happy about?"

He couldn't have made it clearer that he wasn't doing this because he wanted to. He was doing it because he had to.

24/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ––Hey, are you really ok with this? If you come with me, there’s a chance you can be saved too…… Haruka.

Haruka: Yeah…… I’ve made my mind up. I have, something, that I have to do.

Futa: Ah, is that right…… Haruka, you know, you’re an idiot. There’s no way…… that will save you……

Haruka: Yeah, thank you. I’m glad you came to talk to me, Futa. Um, thank you, for being so kind. Really. But, I’m sorry. This is all I’m able to do……

Literally the last time we see him he said it was something that he had to do. Literally to the one person who tried to dissuade him from doing it. Mu did nothing to try to stop him and Kotoko laughed like Christmas had come early. Kotoko's only complaint was she wanted to do it herself.

"Honestly, if I could, I’d love to do it myself."

Kotoko: Killing yourself all alone on a Friday night why not let me help with that.

Haruka: Na-no I'm alright please don't intervene.

The fact he told Kotoko not to intervene in hindsight could have been him looking for an out. Since he straight up asks Es if harming himself is against the rules of Milgram than goes and tells who is Es' helper his plan like don't interfere.

Like maybe she'd interfere because death isn't apart of Milgram's punishments and it'd be cheating my way out. Kotoko who openly wants everyone here besides her fucking dead just went,

Kotoko: Fufufu ha, ha rip evildoer would love to do it myself but I'll hold off. Really appreciating that you know how to take the trash out at least- I wish more criminals were like you. Can't wait to see this shit. Know what's almost as good as me getting to kill you myself- You being dead!

"“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite”."/ "So ridiculous, isn’t it ridiculous- They’re still here, still here, it grates me."

As Haruka stood there like,

Haruka: . . .

Why would she have done anything other than laugh. In hindsight this is the best birthday gift she could have gotten.

Mu on the other hand isn't Kotoko. She's someone that calls herself Haruka's friend. She's someone who continually presented herself as being useful through taking care of him by bringing him food to his room every day. Quelling the concerns of anyone who goes to ask about him by assuring them he's fine and she's taking such good care of him.

Yet she just straight up says him committing to doing that all for her really made her feel their friendship.

The cats not even in the bag she literally said the quiet part out loud when all this was going down. Before going if that's really what he wants to do who is she as his friend to stop him. Instead she should support him and his choices because that's what friends are for.

Then she did just what she said she would as his friend.

She supported him, brought him food, and made sure he had time to think over how to do it while giving telling everyone that asked not to worry Mu's taking care of him. Knowing full and well what he was planning and working on figuring out how to do the entire time. Because again he told her about it before it was even put into motion.

She constantly checked in and continued to instigate a scenario where she was one of the only people he saw or a daily basis.

All while saying shit like,

"Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?"

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?

Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I……

Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently.

Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfill my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

Haruka are you still alive in there- Have you begun growing mould. You're not going to betray Mu too. Do you not care enough about Mu to keep your word now is that it? But if you don't the guard will just do worse and worse things to me. The atmosphere is already so bad too... What you do care about Mu? Well if you care prove it.

Doesn't sound like that impossible of a stretch for the girl who's first song has a chalkboard with drawings goading her victim to either kill herself or be murdered, and is shown to have placed flowers on her victim's desk to basically tell her to kill herself.

Which we know the desk with the flowers on it is her victims seat because we see Mu sitting in hers in After Pain. As well as her victim after being bullied in the classroom later with the same flowers still placed on the desk.

So it wouldn't be the first time she was implied to be attempting to goad someone into killing themselves. Or even the first time she was implied to be successful either.

At no point is she shown making one attempt to dissuade him from doing this. Not even a,

"No, don't worry about that now. The atmosphere has been bad recently right let's try to cheer up together."

Or a,

"No, I understand you're doing this for Mu's sake but honestly I'd rather you not."

Just a well don't lock yourself in your room all day you have to eat even if you are planning to end it all come on now. You can't plan on an empty stomach..

Her presence had more than likely been a constant reminder of the promise he made regardless of if he didn't want to follow through or not. Making it so he became more and more focused on how to keep his word to her instead of any other possibility. Small aside the funny thing about Mu's karaoke collaboration art is the butterfly imagery.

Something shown to be a tie between her and Haruka.

I say this is funny because butterflies are heavily associated with causality. Particularly in relation to chaos theory. Such as how the smallest act like a butterfly flapping it wings can lead to catastrophe. Mu was that butterfly for Haruka. She came gently flapping in showing interest in someone who she recognized was vulnerable and took advantage of them under the pretense of being friends.

21/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, are you awake……? Happy birthday.

Haruka: M-Mu-san? I… I-I’m awake…… Th-thank you, very much. I’m… glad……

Mu: ………… Shall we talk? You know, recently I’ve been pretty interested in you.

Haruka: ……!! I-in me…? Hehe, hehehe…… interested, in me.

Like she did to many of her so-called friends before him,

Q.18 Do you regret anything?

Mu: I think maybe I should have chosen my friends a bit more carefully.

All the other prisoners left Haruka in her care because they thought like the audience did in regards to Mahiru and Shidou that Mu was Haruka's friend. That she like the audience or more than the audience would want him to be okay. She would want to get out of this together with him and see him succeed even if that made her time a little more difficult. They thought that she would want him to keep living that if something was wrong she would tell them because she cared.

That Mu would do the the right thing because she said she was doing it, she said that's what they were, and they took her at her word

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately.

Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?

Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

24/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Shidou: ……I’m worried about Sakurai-kun. I haven’t seen him around in a while. You’ve been talking with him, right?

Mu: He’s fine. Here, look. I’ve been taking his food to him like this every day. Isn’t that great of me?

Shidou: Yes, very. I’m sorry I’ve been leaving it to you to look after him. Usually, that would be the job of us adults, and yet we’re leaving you with the burden.

Mu: Don’t worry about it. After all, me and Haruka-kun are friends.

"Are you planning to tell me 'that's not what friendship is'? Then what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial to everyone involved isn't it?"

And they wound up paying for it.

The fact is that Mu knew he was suicidal just as much as Es did and for just as long as Es did. She decided not tell anyone else or try to stop him. In fact, she assured everyone else he was fine. Sure, he wasn't going out much, but he's fine-

"See look Mu is taking food to him right now. Look at this nice plate she made for him. Isn't Mu a great girl, isn't Mu helping, isn't Mu useful, isn't Mu indispensable. "

Okay, but we like all asked about Haruka. We all asked how he was, and you consistently assured us he was fine.

The first person outside of Mu amongst the prisoners to find out about Haruka's plan was Kotoko. And, well, we all saw how that went. He told her that he was going to cause harm to himself and she laughed in his face. She was delighted at the information the only downside was since he was taking himself out she couldn't do it. If only more criminals were like him though that'd be good.

After that no one else even cared enough to check in on him outside of Futa repeatedly, and Shidou once probably long after Haruka had already done it. You know who was there long before anyone else, who he viewed as a mother, someone who could have given him alternatives, told him what to do, and he would have listened to. Someone who could have done all that as his friend and just as a person who cared about his mental and physical wellbeing. Or just as a person who didn't want to watch someone die right in front of them if they could help it. In the ways she pretended to care in front of the others she lives with?

Mu.

Why the fuck would Kotoko care? It makes sense for her to find it funny, laugh, and do nothing to stop whatever plan Haruka may have had.

23/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……please, don’t tell anyone. And also, please, don’t get involved. All I can do, is ask, you……

Kotoko: ––Fufu, fufufufufu. That’s a crazy thing to be thinking. Honestly, it’s weird. But I don’t hate it. If only all the wrongdoers were like you.

Haruka: No…… that’s wrong…… That’s not, why I’m doing, this…… This, isn’t for me…… I have to protect…… so, Kotoko-san…… please……

She's Kotoko! Again- Her entire second song is going I fucking hate all these other people being here. Come on?

"They're still here, still here, it grates me."

And her first one has this in it,

"The normalcy sought for, fading away- Every time death comes the soul moves forward."/ "Laugh and I can get to like myself.'

"––Fufu, fufufufufu. That’s a crazy thing to be thinking. Honestly, it’s weird. But I don’t hate it. If only all the wrongdoers were like you."

At that point, by some sick form of coincidence, he's doing her a favor too without even recognizing it. Like she has no solid character motivation to give a fuck or lift a finger to stop him and every character motivation not to. She is the worst person he could have told about this. She's is popping the biggest bottles in her cell after this conversation.

But you know who has it the roughest? Futa. Not only had he been going out of his way to check on Haruka. If the last time we saw Haruka is also the day he died then Haruka just killed himself straight up on Futa's fucking birthday.

And the last conversation Futa had with him after being concerned and trusting in Mu was him begging the guy in frustration to do anything else.

24/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ––Hey, are you really ok with this? If you come with me, there’s a chance you can be saved too…… Haruka.

Haruka: Yeah…… I’ve made my mind up. I have, something, that I have to do.

Futa: Ah, is that right…… Haruka, you know, you’re an idiot. There’s no way…… that will save you……

Haruka: Yeah, thank you. I’m glad you came to talk to me, Futa. Um, thank you, for being so kind. Really. But, I’m sorry. This is all I’m able to do……

He got past Mu, came into Haruka's room, probably saw what Haruka had come up with to do it and then literally went you can just come with me, you can be saved too. You don't have to do this there are options I'm listing them- He starts this giving alternatives. He's trying and it becomes clearer and clearer Haruka just isn't going to listen to him.

There's nothing he can say. He can't do anything either.

He can't restrain Haruka. Like many thought he'd be restrained after his second trial Guilty verdict. Stating that if we just voted Haruka Guilty he'd be restrained, unable to harm himself, and then we'd be able to vote Mu however we wanted with that threat no longer above our heads. Because he'd be restrained he wouldn't be able to harm himself.

Futa couldn't just tie Haruka's restraints around him all by himself and lock him in his cell until the guard woke up. Like Es Futa is smaller than Haruka while not being protected by the same measures Es is. So, he wasn't gonna throw hands with him and win that's for sure.

5'4 Futa was not winning a fight against I can kill anything smaller than me 5'7 Haruka. Yet he tried and what can you really say when you go in and check on someone you've been living with for years after months of attempting to while being told they're fine by the person closest to them who you believed then you see the state they're in and hear the plan they have to end themselves.

In the moment we didn't know what Haruka was going to do.

We don't have a tone when it comes to the timelines. But now in hindsight how gut wrenching this must have been. How upset he must have sounded. How defeated his name calling must have sounded to Haruka.

This is the difference in tone between The Last Goodbye and Space Was So Cool with hindsight. If you now ya know.

This is the sort of angst one can only feel in hindsight. It is ridiculous how hard this timeline goes now. No one can imagine being in the situation Futa was fucking in here. Seeing someone you know unraveled to the extent Haruka was where he could see no other option forward but this.

To know that whatever you say won't be heard to know that you don't even have the power to stop them.

How defeated and useless he must have felt. How absolutely helpless he must have felt during this. Standing there knowing if he could just get him out of this room, if he could just convince him to go somewhere else for even a second things could have been different now. Wondering all at once what if I came in here back then instead of just asking Mu about him, what if I stepped in earlier, what if I checked in more would I have been able to stop this.

To recognize how unhelpful what Haruka was choosing to do was for him. How it was a disservice to Haruka's very own personhood. How this wouldn't save him. All while having no power to convince him not to do it. Nobody understands how heartbreaking that could have been for him. After getting to know this dude and living with him for several years. After saying he didn't have the luxury to care about others and he wasn't a kid anyway then going right back to showing concern because that's how much he actually cared.

Despite us never seeing Haruka do the same thing for him when he was Guilty.

You're telling me no one is seeing how tragic this shit is. No one. This is an angst goldmine. I don't go in the tag so maybe there's a fucking avalanche of angst art on this timeline now. All of Futa pleading with him to just leave just get out of there and try something else be saved another way then devolving into calling him stupid in tears because it's the only recourse he has.

He can't stop him.

He can only say childish insults because how else is he going to know how stupid this all is. Then Haruka's I know and thank you for being so kind after how everyone else responded to Haruka's plan.

IT JUST HITS DIFFERENT NOW OKAY!

It hits different and doesn't deserve to hit this different but it fucking does okay. It just fucking does. Can you imagine the anguish? Because I can. It's ridiculous.

Sure he may not have been broken up about it. Maybe we'll find out later he wasn't and he didn't try to stop him at all. Yet, he's the only one who offered any other alternative. Any out. He was the only one he said not only through his words but actions don't do this.

He may have been leveled about the situation but the range of emotion that can be gleaned from this timeline now. Knowing what we know now- Is amazing! It's impressive. It is a literal playground of emotional depth.

No matter what parts of the story you touch on in hindsight it just gets more compelling.

Like that's nasty (positive connotation here)- Yamanaka was on some shit writing and making this. That's fucked up on his birthday. Futa's birthday?! He has to think about this every birthday now. Just thinking back on the dynamics between all of the characters mentioned here and how they grew over the course of these trials along with the ways they ended.

Haruka going from not even being able to speak to Kotoko to confiding in her.

Futa going from wanting to look out for Haruka and Mikoto to in a way losing both of them. Having to wonder if that concern is still there now after everything with Haruka.

Mu going from barely talking to Haruka to being the person closest to him and a driving force in some of the biggest choices he made. It's all really impressive character work. That will only get easier to appreciate the series progresses and after it ends.

#milgram #milgram project

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