#but also basically something i tried to imply at the end of this that may have not been clear

[zaynes-ocs]

Tempest

Tw for graphic descriptions of execution via electric chair

This is part 3 of milo’s backstory read parts 1 and 2 here:

Part 1

Part 2

He was going to die.

He was just a boy.

He was going to be executed.

All of these realizations had slowly settled in on Milo’s psyche as he had sat huddled in his cell for the few days he was allowed as the world around prepared for his death while he was left to stew in the anxiety of it all. Every set of footsteps echoing down the hallways sending a jolt of terror down his spine, wondering if it was finally his time until his anxiety ran him numb. At some point, he stopped caring, though he couldn’t for the life of him remember when, so when those footsteps finally halted in front of his cell one day, he found it easy to stand.

He didn’t resist as he was guided down the hall, chains jangling like the bells that would toll for his demise as his feet shuffled against the cool cobblestone floor towards his doom. His tears had long dried from the hours if not days upon sobbing he did in his cell, and quite frankly he was over it by now.

Even as the doors moaned open into a dimly lit room, he felt nothing. His dull, lifeless gaze settled upon the only piece of furniture in the entire room as he entered. A single, wooden chair was bolted to the ground, metal restraints that shimmered like the foaming waves of the trecherous waters of a flood were attatched to the arms and legs of the chair while another sheet of metal lay in the seat. Up the oaken backing stuck another line of frigid metal leading up to an odd mechanical circlet hanging by looping wires that spiraled up into a cold and clinical cobweb of copper and iron.

“Take your seat.” Came the guard’s command, to which Milo silently complied, wincing breifly as the metal cuffs of the chair bit and constricted his wrists and ankles, a discomfort that he promised himself would disappear soon, as dead people dont feel.

The chair was uncomfortable in design, forcing Milo’s back staight as the cold metal backing pressed up against his spine while the circlet clenched like the fangs of a predator against his temple as his guard checked over his restraints.

“Sorry to have to do this to you kid… but orders are orders…” The guard sighed as he took a step back, glancing over the young boy’s form with a grimace of discomfort. “If you have any final words to get out… I’ll record them for you if you’d like.”

“Alec is a lying bastard… and I hope he rots in hell.” Milo softly snarled, surprising even himself at the venom that drolled off his tongue, astonished to the new feeling of pure, vengeful rage that held no room for fear to prevent him from speaking, for what place does fear have in a dead man’s body anyways?

The guard’s mouth formed a fine, grim line in silent understanding of those words before he swiftly made gis departure, leaving Milo alone in the room with only the feeling of impending demise and the ever present weight of his mother’s ring boring a hole through his pocket. At least he’d have a chance to apologize for being late to dinner this way, he supposed.

His fists clenched in nervous anticipation as a soft electrical hum filled the air, almost a squealing shrill scream that danced through the wires before it roared into a cacophonous buzzing as untamed blue light shot down the wores, igniting across the metal of the chair before sinking its prickly fangs into Milo’s nervous system, his skin clicking and popping as sparks jumped between him and the metal, forcing his body rigid as the sheer power overrode his body as his execution began.

He couldn’t scream, nor control any of the haphazard spasms and convultions that rocked his body against the chair, his jaw forced tight as lightning danced hotter than fire through his blood, burning and stinging far worse than he could even imagine as his heart was forced to thunder with every spasm, constricting and gasping for every missed beat as it tried to keep up with it all. Milo’s very spine scalded like magma as it was forced against the metal, his skin feeling like it was boiling from the inside as the tingly sensation of needle-like sparks jabbed and stabbed at the very bone, sending shudder after shudder to the rest of his limbs that rattled and bashed against their restraints that only served to burn him further, condensing the circut into only his body and leaving the excess nowhere else to go as it was forced to burn its way back through the body reversably.

The circlet atop his head bit and hissed as a bolt of energy danced across his face like a thunderclap, searing its way over one of his eyes with a terrible flash that nearly blinded him as his eyes watered with tears that wished to express themself, his lip tearing and cracking as the lightning tore him apart from the inside. His heart hammered faster and faster until he was certain it had stopped completely before it seized once again, his organs twisting and churning just like his limbs with no way for him to control their movements before the electricity finally ceased, and his heart lulled to a final stop.

Mere seconds had felt like an eternity as Milo’s head slouched forward, his snowy hair straying from the path of gravity with wn electric hum to it as his mind slowly began to fuzz and fade, his last few surviving moments of air to his brain dissappearing with every sefond as his vision grew darker and darker, conciousness fading with it as he was faintly aware of the sensation of his restraints finally loosening before a sudden, violent spark leapt between his fingertips and danced its way back through his body, and his heart began to beat again.

Gasping out, Milo lunged forward with a vicegrip, holding on for desperate life as his systems reinstated themselves and his vision returned, only to find his hand wound tightly around the neck of one of the guards and his pocket filled with a warm, energetic buzz that drew him like a moth to a flame. Wordlessly, he dug his other hand in, finding a small sapphire ring hidden amongst the cloth that hummed with purpose and gave off a faint glow almost that mesmerized the newly awakened elf as the cogs in his mind slowly began to turn, remembering once more who he was, where he was and what exactly had just transpired before a roar of rage shot through his body, a surge of energy flowing through his arm like a tidal wave before it slammed into the helpless guard with a violent electric flurry, brilliant blue sparks shooting out and swarming his arm like ribbons.

The guard lay bloodied and motionless on the floor of the chamber, earning nothing but a glower from the elf a gave him nothing more than a glance before turning his attention back to the ring in his pocket which slipped flawlessly onto his finger, calling to him like destiny as he shed what remained of the shy, quiet boy from the village and donned a new outlook on life and an all consuming rage the likes he had never felt before. His very mind itself had changed as he stormed his way out of the prison like a hurricane, wind and thunder smiting any who blocked his path as he had only one destination lingering in his mind.

They wanted a monster to blame so badly?

They’d get their monster.

Part 4 - FINAL PART!

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 12!

apologies for the delay, everyone! here's a slightly longer list than usual to make up for it <3

while you're here, if you could check out this ask and this one to see if you can help find the requested fics, that would be lovely <3

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

all of my life, it's been all for you | staticsilencee | 10.7k | T

Occasionally, people’s names wouldn’t match up. It wasn’t common, and the only cases Buck had ever personally heard of had involved literal criminals, but it did happen. The other option– well. Either Buck was secretly a killer without knowing about it, or Eddie had taken one look at him and decided he wanted nothing to do with him. i love a good soulmate fic, and this is a great soulmate fic, so imagine how happy i was reading this!! i also really loved the bobby buck dynamic <3

city lights, without you (they don’t even shine like they used to) | farfromthstars/@doeeyeseddie | 1.5k | T

buck is not in love with eddie. definitely not. if there's one thing last week's episode is bringing us, it's delightful episode codas like this one <3 loved buck's narration here!!

don’t think about it too much, too much, too much, too much | fruitsdoesnotknow/@fruitsdontknow | 6.1k | M

Eddie and Chris finally come back to Los Angeles. Buck has some realizations, and confessions, to make. Good thing Eddie's got some of his own to share, too. i love how buck keeps thinking about home in this one and jude seems like the most wonderful grandma <3 so good!!

even with the lights off | lilacbarnes | 6.2k | E

Buck tries to make friends, ends up sleeping with them, and may or may not see Eddie each time he does it. such a gorgeous fic!! i love how this captures buck so much <3

goodbye to what you thought you'd be | coldbam/@coldbam | 7.5k | T

Buck confesses. It gives Eddie a lot to think about. i love this fic's eddie so much <3 and joe!! this really is the week of wonderful ocs in buddie fic and i'm so here for it

if you don't leave your mark on me, i'll take it | facewithoutheart/@facewithoutheart | 2.5k | T

Five times Buck gets a breakup tattoo and one time he doesn’t. the tattoos!! i love the tattoos!! they 100% feel like tattoos buck would get and i love that so much <3

i'll take your chaos and your crooked in a heartbeat | heartbeatdiaz/@lonelychicago | 6.2k | T

Eddie leaves a very important box behind and Buck spirals. my this is so sweet and kind of heartbreaking and also funny and so basically it's everything all at once and i love that so much <3

(it's probably not surprising) that you're burning through the days | atlasblue85/@atlasblue85 | 12.9k | T

Buck takes a breath like he’s steeling himself, and sets his beer down on the coffee table. “What if– Eddie, what if I get myself stuck in here with you?” TIME LOOP FIC. oh my god i love a time loop fic. i love eddie and chim and i love buck and i love everything <3

kind eyes, it's all good | cavevulpis/@cavevulpis | 6.3k | GA

Buck has never been lucky in love. He has enough break-ups under his belt to prove it. this is so stunningly written!! i especially adored the taylor section, i think this might just be my favourite taylor in fic ever... so so good!!

my best friend (my best guess) | idiotsinkdaisies/@idiotsinkdaisies | 1.5k | T

Eddie gets a series of text messages from Tommy, despite not hearing from him for the last few months. He ignores most of them, until Tommy implies he could have made things weird for Buck and Eddie. oh this has some really stunning romantic lines that i won't quote bc spoilers but i am quoting them in my mind. so good!!

ours | Tizniz/@tizniz | 1.4k | GA

“Home sweet home.” Buck mumbles, stumbling as he tries to kick his shoes off. Eddie doesn’t correct him, tell him that it’s not his yet, because that’d be a lie. This place has been Buck’s home for nearly as long as it’s been Eddie’s. this is the loveliest fic <3 one of the tags is the diaz house is buck's home and i love that so so much. it's so true <3

perfectly made | serenelystrange/@serenelystrange | 6.8k | E

In which Eddie needs to unsubscribe to a gay porn site, and the only way to do so is to make a phone call. Buck answers that call. this is such a fun au!! it's so cute and i loved the silly porno names hehe

rage is a quiet thing | oceanofchaos/@islandoforder | 33.3k | GA

Philip Buckley has a heart attack, and Buck, Eddie, and Chris all fly to Hershey. What else are best friends for? this is so so good!! i love how this captures buck and eddie and chris and their respective relationships so so much. also chimney!! so good <3

said i couldn't stay, but it's different now | hattalove/@hattalove | 14.7k | T

the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit. this was a reread of of one of my favourite fics ever <3 it's so soft and sweet and there's such lovely pining and also hamsters. literally what more could you possibly need to know!!

shouting under my breath | carpediaz/@sofa-king-lame | 2.3k | T

The one where a guy hits on Buck in a bar and Eddie gets jealous. Turns out, Buck really likes it when Eddie is jealous. same buck, i also like it when eddie is jealous. this is so fun and so good and so very them <3

where i walk alone | kermytheefrog | 19.4k | T

Everyone knows that when you touch someone who's going to be important to you for the first time, you'll leave a mark on them. It's not just romantic love; parents and children, siblings, close friends all share marks too. At least, they do in theory. Maddie's the only person who's ever touched Buck and left anything behind. i've been devouring each chapter of this fic as it was posted and i'm already feeling like it's time for a reread, that's how good this is!! this has lovely buddie but also such fantastic platonic relationships, i love it so so much <3

you're home (when you're alone) | pairofraggedclaws/@pairofraggedclaws | 5.7k | T

Eddie's feelings in a box, and the people who taught him to put them there. this is so beautifully written!! i especially loved eddie and chris together <3 so good!!

yours & mine | marviless/@marviless | 6.6k | T

after months of sleeping in Eddie’s bed alone, Buck finally gets to share. soft and lovely and so perfect <3 one of my favourite bed sharing fics!!

[3ight-3y3s]

M A S K x O F F 2

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

✦ SevikaxFemReader! ✦

╚═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╝

Part 1 - tysm for 100 hearts 💖

Summary: Picks up pretty much right after part one, Sevika is trying to prolong your inevitable return to the firelights. There also may be a date involved where Vi comes in sort of as the other woman and we get Jealous pouty Vika~ Also it's long I probably should have cut it in half but 🫥

//Fluff//Angst//Implied Smut//

(There is a surprising lack of Vika Gifs, I'm low-key outraged)

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

You heard Sevika sigh a sigh of relief as you fluttered your eyes open. You groaned as you pulled the covers over your head "What?" You whined.

"I was worried I fucked you into a coma" She admitted with a soft chuckle.

"Go over there!" You demanded, sticking your arm out to point at a random direction. Sevika looked out of curiosity. She huffed amused as you just so happened to be pointing to a corner. Still she got the the message, you weren't a morning person.

When you woke up next there was a plate of food in front of you. You sighed softly at the sweet gesture. You got out of bed to look for Sevika to apologize. However, you quickly realized, she wasn't there.

Feeling like a huge ass you sauntered back to the room. She was probably just trying to say goodbye before work or something and you basically told her to fuck off.

After eating the meal she had prepared for you, you wanted to die. She was such a good wife and you told her to fuck off! Frustrated you got to work fixing up her place. Not that it was really dirty to begin with.

After a while you realized she probably wasn't going to be back for some time. You looked down at your clothes and blushed realizing you never dressed yourself after your night together. You ran your fingers through your hair, there were hardly any tangles. Sevika must have resumed her nursing duties after realizing you were such a heavy sleeper.

You were embarrassed of course but in reality Sevika enjoyed the routine. She did hesitate knowing full well you were capable of caring for yourself now, but it didn't feel right leaving you so disheveled. Especially knowing it was because of her.

She groaned as she rubbed her hand down her face. She couldn't get you off her mind. The faces you made, the sounds you emitted, the way you moved, the way you felt around her fingers, the way you tasted. The truth of it was she woke you so early because she was hoping for another round.

The day seemed to be dragging on forever. She kept wondering what you were doing to fill yours. It was so frustrating, this wasn't like her. Either way people noticed she was extra irritable that day and pretty much steered clear. Then finally "You're dismissed" fell from Silco's mouth.

Sevika practically ran home. The closer she got the more anxious she felt. What if you had left? She took a deep breath before opening the door. She was both relieved and confused to find you inside, scrubbing the floor meticulously. "What are you doing?" She asked with a light chuckle. It was the first time she felt at ease all day.

You looked up and smiled flipping your hair out of your face. "Wow, you don't have a single bad angle." You said eyeing her up and down shamelessly. She grinned raising a brow before pointing to the floor. She didn't want to repeat herself but clearly still wanted an answer. You sighed looking at the mess you made.

"I felt bad about this morning so I wanted to make it up to you but I don't really cook so I started cleaning but then you took a really long time so I started becoming more anal about it as the day went on but I've tried everything to get this stain up and it refuses!" You exclaimed at the end letting out your frustration.

"Yeah?" She said stepping over the mess to swoop you up off the ground.

"wait wait wait my hands are dirty" You tried to warn her but it didn't matter to her. You wrapped your legs around her waist and rested your arms on her shoulders careful not to drip any soapy floor water on her back as she kissed you. She kissed you like it was life support. She was certainly convinced it was anyways.

Since it seemed you both had unbearably long days without each other, Sevika carried you to the bathroom. Her mouth never once detached from yours even as she leaned down to turn on the shower. You couldn't help but laugh when she stepped inside without either of you undressing first. She pressed you against the shower wall as she trailed kisses down your neck.

You pulled out her pony tail, letting her hair tie slip around your wrist as she nuzzles her face into your chest. You grinned softly as your ran your fingers through her hair. "Missed me that much?" You teased.

"Yes" She muttered. Her honesty made your heart skip a beat. It also got your brain jump started.

"Sevika?" You began. You wanted to know what was going on between you two. She slowly raised her head to look at you. You bit your lip as you got lost in her beautiful big grey eyes.

She pinched you're chin freeing your lip before kissing it softly. "What?" She questioned softly.

"I- What are we- um- will you go on a date with me?" You stuttered. She huffed lightly with a soft smile as she stared at your lips. She nodded yes. Your eyes widened with excitement but it wasn't enough, you needed an answer. "Vika?" You questioned nervously.

"Yes I will go on a date with you." She practically whispered before her lips found yours again.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

Sevika ran her fingers up and down the curves of your body. Both of you were slick from your activities and panting softly. "I think we're in need of another shower" you muttered. She chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"Did I hear you right earlier? You can't cook?" She questioned with a somewhat judgmental tone.

"I cannn, just not as well as you did and I didn't want to disappoint you." You explained.

"So then I guess you'll be taking me out for our date?" She questioned with a raised brow. You grew giddy at the mention of it. You were worried she had just said yes in a lustful daze.

"I'd be honored too, although... I'm not entirely sure where to take you. I mean, everyone knows who you are and well, they kind of hate you." You explained.

"We could always go to the last drop." She suggested. You nodded.

"We could have, but you did take my mask off in front of a lot of people..." you reminded her. She shrugged.

"As long as you're with me they won't bother you and if they do they'll be sorry for it." She said casually. You nodded.

"I'll need to go home first." You muttered softly. Sevika's brows twitched to a slight frow. "I need to let my family know that I'm alive. Plus I can't wear your clothes on a date." She nodded but her eyes looked detached.

She didn't like it for a multitude of reasons. -

1. you'd be leaving her and she'd miss you

2. You'd be going home to the other Firelights

3. The realization that she was literally sleeping with the enemy

4. That she was willing to risk the trouble for you.

"Not yet." She said her eyes refocusing on you. "I'll buy you something to wear." She said. You nodded. She just needed a little more time before you went bringing reality back into everything.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

The dress Sevika got for you was gorgeous, you picked it out of coarse but the gesture still hit. She thought so too. She had seen you dressed up before, but something about you showing up in a dress that she got for you definitely hit different.

"So just how many times did you show up here before I knew you without that stupid mask?" Sevika questioned.

"It's not stupid, and I would still like it back mind you. Otherwise I'll have to have another one made." You responded avoiding the real question. She grinned down at you.

"How many times?" She questioned. You looked at her baffled. She hated repeating things. Yet this was the hill she wanted to die on? Her gaze was piercing and you knew there was no moving on until you forked up some kind of answer.

"A lot." You finally muttered after some time.

"So you're a stalker." She replied quickly. You rolled your eyes with a big smile on your face.

"In my defense the Last Drop was technically my hang out spot first!" You noted.

"Maybe, but that's not why you showed up so often." She said flashing her teeth. You wanted to call her out for being so cocky but you built this monster with all your open communication of just how fine you found her over the years.

"Well you weren't suppose to notice." You said. She scoffed.

"In my line of work it's pretty important to stay aware of my surroundings. How was I not supposed to notice those pretty eyes on me all the time?" She teased.

"Just, go over there!" You said exasperated and pointed to her usual table. She looked back at it and grinned at you. You really were her little stalker. Like an alligator wading the waters. "I'll bring the drinks." You said when she didn't move. She nodded in agreement.

"Alright little lizard." She said under her breath. Her fingers lingered on your skin as the two of you parted ways. She kept her eyes on you as she headed to her usual table and you to the bar. "Deal me in boys" She said pulling out a Cigar. "& pass me that chair." She ordered before placing it right beside her.

"You bring a date or something Sev?" One of the boys questioned.

"That I did, and if any of you so much as look at her too long your eyes will be tossed right into the bet pool." She said lighting up as she sat back spreading her legs. They laughed but knew she was deadly serious.

You were staring at the menu for some time trying to figure out what Sevika would like until the Bartender set down two drinks infront of you. You looked up at him confused. "I didn't order anything yet." You said.

"I saw you walk in with Sevika." He said. "This is her usual." He said pointing to a double shot of whiskey. "and this is to you from that gentleman over there." He said laughing. "Obviously the poor bastard did not see who you walked in with." He said. You grinned softly as you accepted the whiskey neat and pushed back the sweet drink.

"I'll just do another one of these thanks. I'm not trying to stir any trouble." You said. He nodded although you could see he was slightly disappointed. He was probably excited to see something go down. Luckily for him the poor bastard was not detoured so easily.

"Sorry about that lil lady, guess I had you pegged wrong. With a face as sweet as yours I just assumed you'd like something pretty." He said running his hand down your lower back. Before Sevika could fly across the room to wring his neck you had already taken control of the situation.

You had your thumb firmly pressed into his pressure points which had him on his knee. He let out a spew of curse words as you accepted the new drink from the bar tender who looked as happy as a kid in a candy shop.

"Next time it'll be your balls." You warned as you let the creep go before walking back to Sevika with the drinks. She had a big grin on her face as she welcomed you. She dusted off your back where he had been and kissed the back of your hand.

"The hell did you do to that guy?" One of the gamblers questioned as they both looked back curiously.

"Is he crying?" The other questioned. They both looked back at Sevika stunned, not daring to look at you. She smirked before nodding towards the table. They cleared their throats grabbing their cards.

You watched Sevika play the first couple of games and lose. You could see she was getting frustrated so you straightened up and asked to be dealt in. She looked at you surprised before smirking. "You heard her." She said to the others.

It was a close call but you actually ended up winning which seemed to make Sevika's night. She squeezed your upper thigh in celebration which made your stomach flutter. "Beginners luck." One of the boys grumbled. You grinned and stood up which triggered Sevika to full attention. Her eyes locked solely on you.

"Or you're fault for assuming I was a beginner." You said before leaning down to kiss Sevika's cheek. She pulled away like she would during battles; clearly muscle memory kicking in. She recovered quickly by turning her head to lock eyes with you and leaned in with a toothy grin on her face. It made your heart flutter.

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick." You said softly.

"I'll go with you." She said flexing to get up but you shook your head no. She looked at you like a lost puppy.

"I can handle myself." You said before standing up straight. You looked back to the others, just missing her soft pout in response. She knew you could handle yourself. She just didn't want to deal with the feeling of missing you. "You guys can deal the next game without me" You said.

"No way, you have to give us a chance to win the pot back!" They insisted. You nodded in agreement.

"I'll play another game later, I don't think we're in any rush. Are you in a rush to lose again?" You questioned smartly. However none of them really responded and their gaze was locked behind you. You didn't have to look behind you to know she was giving them threatening looks. They were definitely testing the waters with her, how dare they raise their voices at you? The audacity!

You reached back to give Sevika's shoulder a squeeze to calm her down. She lightly grabbed hold of your hand but It took her a second to pry her eyes away from them, just to make sure she's made her point before looking at you. You smiled softly at her. God she was stunning. "I'll be back." You said before slipping away.

You noticed you were sweating when you took a look at yourself in the mirror. You sighed dabbing your skin with tissues before deciding to step outside to cool off properly. When you did you were stunned to find yourself looking into the eyes of a ghost.

Your brain began rapid firing all of the times those eyes looked into yours like they were doing right now. "Y/N" She spoke first. You flinched back, overwhelmed with reality. She was really there....

"Violet?" You questioned with a laugh of disbelief.

"You look... wow" Vi said as her eyes bounced all over your person. "N-Not that you haven't always looked wow, but-" She stuttered. You laughed stepping forward to grab her arm.

"You've certainly grown!" You complimented. She laughed flexing a bit for you. "Where the hell have you been?" You asked grabbing a handful of her damned pink hair as you went for a hug. She hugged you back tightly.

"It's a long story." She sounded tired. You definitely understood that feeling. You pulled back just enough to get another look at her matured face. You cupped the side of it in your hand lightly running your thumb over her VI tattoo. Her eyes flickered down to your lips and your mind rapidly flipped through all the kisses you shared in the past.

You froze in the realization that Vi was technically an ex that you were now sharing a rather intimate moment with. You pulled back immediately and cleared your throat. It wasn't anything too serious, you were just kids but you were both clearly still attracted to each other. Not that you wanted her, you were more than happy with what was already in motion.

Her eyes scanned you curious as to why you seemed so distant all of a sudden but she shook it off. "So, why are you here?" She gestured to the last drop. You shrugged your shoulders awkwardly but couldn't hide your smile.

"I'm on a date." You said hitting the Debbie Ryan move. VI's eyes flickered past you and her head shook lightly.

"Please tell me you're not here with her." She said lowly. You turned around and smiled softly at Sevika.

"Sorry, I can't do that Vi. Then I'd be lying to an old friend." You said walking up the steps to join Sevika. You wrapped an arm around Sevika's waist for good measure.

"The hell are you doing back here?" Sevika questioned Vi coldly.

"She's like half your age." Vi informed Sevika about you. Sevika knew you were younger of course but hearing it put that way did bother her a bit.

"Vi please don't ruin this." You begged softly. She looked at you frustrated but seemed to let it go as she walked off. You signed relieved. But your problems were just getting started.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

"Vika?"

"Don't Vika me right now." She grumbled.

"Okay... big sexy delectable unfathomably fine muscle mommy?" You tried. She snorted.

"Knock it off." She said turning away from you to hide her grin.

"Sevika, I'm not doing anything, you're the one pouting in the corner." You said reaching out to grab her hand. She pulled her hand away from yours.

"what's it matter to you? Why don't you go hang out with your age appropriate girlfriend?" She muttered softly. You couldn't help but smile widely realizing she was just jealous. She had hid it so well the rest of the date. She really waited until you got home to get all pouty and insecure.

"I don't have an age appropriate girlfriend. I have a hot girlfriend." You said. Her eyes snapped towards you. She felt her entire self warm at you claiming her all of a sudden.

"Say that again." She said. You smiled snaking your arms around her waist.

"I have a hot girlfriend with big beautiful silver eyes and a slutty little waist." You teased. You laughed at her reaction to the last part. She couldn't tell if she should be offended by it or not.

She lightly grabbed hold of your neck as she brought her face as close to yours as possible. "You're so disrespectful." She muttered.

"You love it." You said refusing to back down. She grinned as she kissed you sweetly. It was the most delicate kiss despite her tightening her grip on your neck.

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The girls have made it officialllll 🎆🎇🎆

I hope this like, lives up to part one lol sorry if not 😔

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

what are leona's flaws if he has any?

Of course he has flaws, everyone—fictional and real—does. Leona’s are quite numerous and very blatantly out there in some cases, so this ask (which sort of implies he doesn’t have flaws at all) surprised me 😅 His are pretty hard to miss, no…? Of course, some of these flaws do improve over the course of the main story, but they are still largely present.

I’m not sure what prompted this question, but I hope it’s not because I somehow gave off the impression that I’m not cognizant of his flaws. I may occasionally sing the guy praises about being a good leader/big brother figure but I’d like to think that I also humble him just as much by bringing up his less savory personality traits (namely his laziness, underhandedness, and pride) and his shortcomings as a leader. I try to look at characters from all angles, regardless of how I personally feel about them overall.

That being said, there’s a slew of flaws to highlight, some of which I already mentioned earlier. Leona is:

Lazy, or, more accurately, unmotivated. If he’s not interested in it or feels he isn’t gaining something himself from acting, 9 times out of 10 Leona won’t lift a finger and/or will choose to nap instead. He frequently doesn’t even attend classes because he thinks there’s nothing they could teach him that the royal tutors haven’t. In many other cases, he ends up helping others because he’ll get something from it. For example, he may teach the first years how to properly mine magestones in his Camping Gear vignette, but only so they quiet down and he can have a quiet spot to nap.

Underhanded. He’s more focused on his desired results rather than the morality or ethics of what methods he uses to achieve those results. Lying, bending the rules, roughing up people who get in his way… Nothing’s off the table. All of book 2 basically illustrates this.

Seeking approval, often to his own detriment. This is usually framed as him wanting the crown, but it’s actually a consequence of Leona wanting to be acknowledged by others since he was without it for most of his life. These feelings lead to many self-destructive behaviors and sentiments, including the events of book 2.

Unable to take criticism. He tends to get mad and lashes out when people point out his flaws. Leona even OBs after Lilia says to his face that he has a rotten personality and could never hope to match Diasomnia’s king.

Selfish and spoiled. Let’s be honest, he just is 😭 He’s often ordering others around or expecting to be waited on and not thinking about how it could inconvenience them, yet he also acts really annoyed whenever others ask him to help out with something. Leona also rarely stops to listen to others’ sides of stories, he considers his own perspective to be the most important.

Competitive. His pride is easily wounded, especially if someone claims to be stronger than him in a particular area (even if it’s an area he doesn’t necessarily care about). For example, he argued with Vil about which of them would be the ideal suitor for the Ghost Bride and has a known grudge against Malleus, a fellow prince and skilled player in his own sport of choice.

Arrogant and prideful. This goes hand-in-hand with the other traits; Leona thinks highly of himself and his skills… perhaps too much so. Because of this, he has issues yielding his command to others or even considering opinions which differ from his own. This is why he doesn’t have a vice dorm leader; he’d rather rule unquestioningly. It’s his way or the highway!

Domineering. He doesn’t ask you to do things, he tells you to do things and you obey. This happens a lot between him and Ruggie, but also with other characters and even NPCs like the pixies in Fairy Gala (when he demands water to distract them from finding Yuu and co.).

Petty. This holds true for most of the NRC boys, but I think it’s particularly the case for Leona, who tries to beat up a magicless human for accidentally steps on his tail and then bullies that same human + some extras in a sportsball game 💀 He’s also infamous for his several harsh quips against Malleus and other characters that are just there minding their own business or existing.

Needlessly aggressive (in some cases). There’s no question that Leona would prefer to use his brains before his brawn. However, there are instances in which he resorts to magic or physical strength instead of scheming or talking out a solution. For example, the aforementioned attempt to attack Yuu (a defenseless, magicless human) for an accident. Dialogue in Malleus’s dorm uniform vignettes also implies Leona intended to put his hands on Malleus after a perceived slight. In his own dorm uniform vignettes, Leona is about to unleash his UM on second year students who are stepping out of line (Jack has to intervene and beg him to stop).

Defeatist. This stands in contrast to his usual arrogance, but I’m a strong believer in the “Leona uses his arrogance to mask for his own insecurities about being second best/place his entire life” thing. If he thinks there’s no point in trying, that he won’t be acknowledged no matter how hard he tries, he simply won’t. Instead, he’ll wallow in his sorrows and lament about things out of his control (such as birth order or life not being fair)—even though choosing to act or not is in his control. He also has a tendency to deny others’ love and respect for him, almost as if he believes it’s untrue or… he doesn’t believe himself to be worthy of those feelings.

Afraid of failure. For as cocksure as Leona presents himself to the world, he has a crippling fear of failing. That’s why he’s so quick to throw in the towel in book 2; if he deflects the blame to others or raises the white flag early, he can reason with himself that he didn’t really “lose”. There’s nothing more humiliating to try so hard only to not succeed in the end… just like he has his entire life. In the light novel, Leona also expresses that he’s afraid of having hope, because that makes it so much more soul crushing when that hope amounts to nothing. I believe it’s these feelings that also shaped his UM. Why is the identity defining magic he wields destructive? Maybe because Leona himself believes that this is his fate: the prince with naught, because everything he touches turns to sand.

[lostinlovingrevery]

He's Definitely Obsessed With You (Series)

Origins! Logan X Fem!Reader

Plot: You're an army nurse, deep in the trenches of the Vietnam jungles, doing everything you can to keep yourself together, and the infantry that come into your tent. One day a soldier you aren't familiar with is brought in, and you find out something about him that leads to the start of an important relationship between you both that changes the course of your lives together...

A/N: This is basically the plot of Origins, but with my own spin on it with a Fem!Reader! This is my first time EVER writing an X reader, so comments appreciate! I plan to make this a series, but I wanted to put out a prologue first. Okay, it's not really a prologue and more like a chapter, and ended up being super long because I started writing and then didn't stop, and prologues are short- but IT'S MY STORY AND I'LL CREATE MY OWN RULES. The prologue is just how reader and Logan meet! (PS, there's eventual smut...Soon as I figure out how write it without getting embarrassed) Also, I'm still figuring out how to format on Tumblr, so please don't mind any funky design choices. Probably spelling and grammar mistakes somewhere in there

Warnings: Reader POV only (for now) Reader is female, also an army nurse, also a mutant- but powers aren't specified, blood mention, medical stuff talked about (like amputations), injury descriptions, Vietnam war and slight politics mention, probably a lot of historical inaccuracies i just googled things but I tried! implied reader could be religious but honestly there's nothing concrete to that. The only description of reader is her clothes and that she has hair, and wears makeup (lipstick). Reader has a hard on over Logan (she has a cruuuush), let me know if there's anything I missed!

Word Count: 4753

Series Masterlist

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Prologue:

Rain rapped lightly along the top of the large tent, creating a soothing sound throughout. A radio, playing an american music station, played a rock song, of some new band slowly making a name for itself, sat nearby on a metal cabinet. Stacks of manila folders and papers were disorganized and spread, almost completely covering a desk. A clock ticks rhythmically. The tent was lined with cots, tables, ratty mattresses, IV stands, and small tables covered with empty food trays, water canisters, and paper cups filled pills. Some of the beds were taken up by injured men, snoring and groaning as they attempted to sleep, only slightly more comfortable here in the medical tent than out in the muddy, rainy trenches. It was monsoon season in Vietnam, and you were at your wits end with paperwork in the middle of a small but-not-that-small camp, set up not far from an American fire support base.

You were sitting at the desk, half asleep as you attempted to fill out another request form for medical supplies. Halothane, Methoxyflurane, Morphine, Penicillin - are common medicines that you find yourself constantly having to restock. Of course bandages, gloves, needles, saline, tubing, multiple surgical supplies, other things you find yourself low on often too, considering the amount of amputations, large and minor, that happen around here. The medical tent that you currently reside in was a revolving door of soldiers, both American and Vietnamese, as well as nearby villagers who come for aid after the American presence near their homes led to viruses they can’t combat on their own, or other unfortunate injuries if war breaks out in their village. 

You were simply an army nurse, this was not your usual duty to perform, it was normally left to the assigned doctor of the camp. Your job was to assist the doctor, take care of the patients, administer medicine, IVs, change bandages, wet baths, feed them, and hold their hands as they cry for their momma and to God. You were busy enough, and the doctor, Doctor Frank Jones, who you were assisting had got shot by a stray bullet when out in the jungle, and had to be taken back to the main base, and back to the States. Due to a communication failure, his replacement ended up somewhere else, and transportation wasn’t an option due to the fighting happening.

 Fortunately, Doctor Jones had seen potential in you and believed you would be an excellent doctor one day - something you wanted to pursue after your service was fulfilled. He became a mentor, helping you study and learn medicine, and giving you skills that an average nurse- even an army nurse- wouldn’t usually have. Now, it was just up to you, and a few young army medics - teenage boys who were given no choice in going to war, and their skills were found best in assisting injuries on the battlefield, but they were eager to help, and their light-hearted jokes and company helped relieve some stress for you, especially with the pain you watch day in and out. You didn’t always have the luxury of their help though, as when patrols went out, they required at least one of them to join. It leads you to have to order around other grunts who have no idea how to even measure the proper dosage of cough syrup for themselves whenever a serious injury comes in, having to give detailed orders on what to do- usually just getting you the supplies and medicine you need, as the grunts are typically too distracted and upset over their fallen brother to assist you in anything medical and complicated. 

With being the only medical authority in the camp- as well as the only woman- you were well respected and popular. Your compassionate personality, and comforting presence, as well as your “Take-no-shit” attitude, led to soldiers of this camp visiting you all the time, usually making up excuses like having a cough, or a splinter in their finger, just so they could have the pleasure of your smile and encouraging words. The CO here made sure that they all treated you with respect, as a woman- and a nurse, so you never once felt unsafe- or unappreciated. Besides, a good section of this camp is young boys, too nervous about their situation to worry about trying to flirt with a woman like you. You're more of a comfort figure in these parts than anything else. Despite the stress and worry you face in day to day life, in the middle of the war, you were just happy to be doing something. You weren’t exactly a supporter of this war, but the moment you saw young boys lining up to go to war, something in you made you fiercely determined to follow, and do whatever you can to make sure those boys can go back home to their mothers and fathers.

The Rolling Stones was now playing on the radio, this was a band you were more familiar with - one of your favorites. Your foot tapped to the beat of the song, as you checked off another item you needed to be stocked up on- and hoped the supply chain doesn’t hold out on you again. For some reason, they seemed convinced that you must surely be lying about the supplies and will not send you the full amount of what you requested, leading you to storm into the CO’s tent on more than one occasion and rant to him with a few unsavory words about the supply lines commander.  He always listens though, and does his best to get you what you can- which you can appreciate. 

“Hey turn that up-” You heard one of the patients call out, and she smiles, reaching to the radio and turning the volume higher. She looked up from the desk to see one patient in bed moving his foot with the beat of the song, and the other, who asked her to turn it up, raised his arm in the air, hand in a fist as he rocked with the song. “This is a good one, hadn’t heard this one yet.”

“It came out in 65’ dumbass.” the other called out. “How’d you not know it?”

“I’ve been here since 64’ asshole! Think we always had access to a radio?”

They all chided each other, making you laugh as you shake your head, turning back towards your paperwork, determined to finish it today so you can send it out. It was rare you get these moments of quiet, so you appreciated it when you could. Things could turn on a dime in a second, especially since the fighting was getting closer to where this camp was set, and you’re hoping that you would get some help before anything serious came. You were just starting to get absorbed in the letter you were writing to the CO of the supply line, something slightly passive aggressive, when one of the soldiers yelled to you from outside. 

“Hey! Nurse! There’s some guys coming this way! They got someone injured-” 

You looked up, dropping your pencil, and turning the radio down as you readied yourself, brushing the pants of your army fatigues to straighten it out, and rolling your sleeves farther up your arms. You watched as the flaps of the tent get pulled open, as two men carry someone resting on a cot. You didn’t like how quiet the man was being.

“In here-” You lead them to another section of the medical tent, ment solely for treating wounded, in an attempt to keep something sterile and clean- well, as clean as you can get it. The soldiers set the man onto the table that sat in the center of the room, small trays and medical supplies, as well as a large overhead lamp that provided lighting to give you a better view at what you’re working on, surrounded the table. 

“We got ambushed on patrol, fortunately he’s the only one that got hit, a VC jumped out of the grass and stabbed him. We got pressure on the wound, and he’s still alive- for now.” 

You nodded as you went to a basin to pull on some sterile gloves, and walked over to examine the soldier. He was handsome- you couldn’t help but noticed but quickly put that out of your mind. A full head of deep beautiful brown hair, and a thick beard framed his face. He looked older, possibly in his mid 30’s. A sheen of sweat covered his skin, as his teeth were gritted and eyes cinched shut in pain. A wave of sorrow hit you, as you never liked seeing people in pain, it hits you bad enough to wonder why you chose to go into the medical profession of all things. Nevertheless, you push through, and began working on removing the uniform so you can see if you can save this one. At least he wasn’t screaming.

“Whats his name?”

“Logan ma’am. He’s Private First Class.”  The private responds, voice professional, but quickly drops into something softer. “He’s a good guy, and smart, usually quick on his feet, its surprising someone ambushed him…” 

“Need any help ma’am?” The other private who brought him in ask.

“No, I got it, thank you.” You tell them as you grab some sheers and began cutting through Logan's army garments. “Just make sure others are alright. See if any of the boys out there need water.”

They nodded, saluting- leading you to roll your eyes- and left your section of the tent, just as you manage to cut off the white wife beater he was sporting underneath his army garments, giving you a complete view of where he had been stabbed. You breathed a small sigh of relief, the wound appeared in the part of the torso where nothing vital was located and you managed to roll him to his side- seeing the stabbing didn’t go straight through, meaning this guy had a good chance of surviving, assuming he doesn’t succumb to infection…

“Alright Logan,” You turned you head to look at the man, who was still tense, eyes squeezed shut. He was somewhat awake, with his breathing and the way his muscles contracted, but he didn’t seem to be aware of what was going on, you still felt it important to talk to whoever you were treating though. You had to hold the hands of many scared soldiers, and quickly have learned the right things to say when comforting. “I’m going to take care of you, and in return, you’re going to need to be strong for me here.” You say softly but firmly to him, hoping that he’s hearing you through the pain, as you went and quickly grabbed a wet cloth out of a basin nearby, squeezing out the excess water, and gently placing it over his forehead, in order to soak up some sweat, and provide some more comfort to cool his skin that seemed to be burning hot. You couldn’t help but note that you don’t recognize him- you wouldn’t have forgotten his face that’s for damn sure, if he’d ever came to visit you, which most privates in this camp has at one time or another. You shook the curiosity out of your head, you had to move quickly, fighting the urge to wanting to take in the details of his face- his very handsome face, and moved to focus back onto the wound on his torso. 

You started by slowly removing the packed bandages, examining the blood flow to make sure nothing gushed, but he really wasn’t bleeding much anymore- actually, it didn’t look like he was bleeding at all now. Confused, you began cleaning the area of the stab wound so you could get a clear view of what you were looking at. At first, you thought you were losing your mind, you had to been because what you were seeing…

It was as if the skin was growing back, the wound, going inwards seemed to almost pop out, before the skin stitched together, going through what the bodys usual healing process would look like- except doing it within a matter of seconds. Turning from a bright red inflamed wound, into a baby pink scar bump that slowly faded off, you couldn’t even tell anything had happen there- except from the blood stained around it. You were blinking in disbelief, mouth slightly agape, before it suddenly occurred to you what you were just seeing.

Oh

Oh shit-

He’s a mutant.

You looked at the man, who’s muscles seemed to be relaxing now, as he took deeper breaths, the sweat on his face began to dry and disappear. You weren’t sure what to do at this point, you’re so used to every minute counting to fix someone, and this guy just healed himself in seconds!

And by god, he was so handsome. You thought that already, got to stop thinking about that. Turning away from his face, you went to examine where the stab wound used to be, gloved fingers gently pressing on the area- before the soldier- Logan, practically yelped- and sat up rushed on the table, startling you even more so than him, as you jumped back, hands in the air in surrender- as if you did anything wrong.

He was panting, the cold wet cloth you had placed on his forehead fell into his lap, as he looked around with wide eyes, pupils dilated, his nostrils flaring, he almost looked animal-like in this state. He turned to look at you. His eyes took you in, and suddenly you felt embarrassed by your army clothes you were sporting, green cargo pants, and a green collared button up shirt, tucked into your pants, making you feel less than girlish in them, despite their comfortability, your forehead was covered in sweat, and your hair pulled back in a bun neat bun with baby hairs sticking out everywhere. At least you had lipstick on to give yourself a little bit of a pop in your plain looking outfit. That should be the last thing you should be worried about. 

“You’re okay-” You finally found your voice, holding your hands out to him, “You got ambushed, but you’re okay now.” 

He blinked, then let out a small sigh, his whole self seeming to relax, his expression turned more human-like, as he faced forward, then looked down at himself. His hand went over where he had been hurt- seeing that there was no longer any injury there, although something in his expression told you he could still feel it. He swallowed, jaw tensing, before realization struck him, and his head snapped to look at you. 

“You saw- You know, don’t you?” He asks, his voice was deep, but sounded a little dry and scratchy. Still, it was enough to make your knees weak. 

You turned, going to a cabinet that held medicines and various other supplies, but on the counter was a pitcher of water and a few glass cups. Pulling off your gloves, you poured a cup from the pitcher, turning back and handing it to him. 

“Yeah. I saw.” You say cooly, holding it out for him to take. He looked at you, his deep and should you think gorgeous hazel eyes felt like they were piercing your soul; as if he was trying to decipher what was going on in your head, which you wish you knew as well because his stare was making your brain fuzzy; then glanced at the cup and finally took it from your hand, your fingers brushing together, making your heartbeat just a little faster, and you could feel a small heat blooming in your cheeks.

Jesus christ, pull yourself together 

You thought to yourself. You cleared your throat while he took several swigs of water, dropping his hand with the cup to his side as he took a moment to breathe once more. 

“Got anything stronger?” He asks, his low and smoother now, quirking a brow at you. You smiled, 

“Sorry, anything alcoholic you may want to drink in here, I gotta save for the guys who can’t heal themselves within minutes.” You say teasingly. “Supplies are low enough already.” 

You could see a small quirk of his lips, in something resembling a smile. He was still tense though, his eyes seemed to be somewhere else. He looked at you again,

“Does it…scare you? Me being a mutant?” He asks, his voice low

“Um….No?” You responded, confusion on your face, a small shake of your head, “Why would it?” 

He seemed relieved- and surprised by that answer, his shoulders finally relaxing, and he took another drink of water, eyes closing as he finished the cup, and handed it back to you, where you set it back on the counter. Wiping his mouth with his arm, he sat up more confidently, bending his leg as he brought his knee up to his chest, and propped his forearm over it, and leaned back on his other hand, taking a few deep breaths as he lowered his head down, then looked back up at you, his expression suddenly stern.

“You gonna tell them?” He asks. You knew he was referring to the army. Mutants weren’t well accepted in the world- much less the US army. The American government is actually sitting comfortably in the capital and writing out bullshit laws on mutant regulations, rather than trying to figure out a solution for the war here in Vietnam. You, a mutant yourself, albeit your powers were easy to hide and conceal, you still feared of a day that someone somehow discovers your secret. You’ve heard stories of American soldiers revealed to be mutants being killed, due to some bullshit excuse that they “lied” about who they were, and couldn’t be trusted. Whether those stories were true or fearmongering to keep mutants hiding their true identities, you didn’t know, but you certainly weren’t gonna find out yourself. You definitely wouldn’t put another fellow mutant, just trying to survive like you, in any sort of danger like that, even if he could probably just heal if he got put in front of a firing squad.

You pursed your lips together. Then smiled. “No. I’ll keep your secret.” You say. “All it means to me is that I have one less person to worry about around here. I was actually wondering why I hadn’t seen your face in this tent yet before, and now I know why.” 

He softened at that, but his face quickly fell back into something more serious and stern once more, which you’re starting to think might be his baseline. 

“You okay?” You asked, your voice was soft, and sweet, and borderline angelic for a man like him, who’s been in wars almost his entire life- which you don’t know about that. “That probably didn’t feel good, what happened.” He nodded. 

“M’ fine….Thank you.” He grumbles lowly, looking down at his hands. “I heard about you- actually I-I seen you around. You’re the only nurse on camp?” He asked, looking back up at you, there seemed to be a bit of curiosity in his voice. 

“Yeah. I’m pretty popular.” You say, in a teasing voice, blushing at the thought that he’s noticed you. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, you are quite literally the only woman around, save for the women in the village not far from here.  

“Must be busy.”

“Oh… Nah-” You playfully wave him off. “Some days are so slow, I’m actually bored.” You say matter-of-factly, but you both knew you were kidding. Another quirk of his lips. You smiled softly at him, but there was a voice in your head telling you, that since he doesn’t need your help, you should probably get back to helping the ones who do. Not that you want to leave, he was so damn handsome, you could stare at him all day. It wasn’t just his good looks though, his whole self drew you in with just a few words, and you find yourself wanting to get to know Logan, because the look in his eyes told you that he was someone worth knowing. Or maybe that was just your hormones talking. There was just this energy between you both, some type of unseen connection. His eyes trailed down you again, this time fully taking you in, stopping at your chest, and for a moment you were about to be completely turned off by this man being a pervert, but he nodded towards it. 

“Your necklace?” He asked. You looked down, oh, you thought to yourself. You pulled the string of your necklace, lifting the small coin that it held, string carefully wrapped around it so it doesn’t fall off.

“It’s a prayer coin. A priest gave it to me.” You explained. “It’s the archangel Raphael. A protector, patron saint of medical workers, like doctors, nurses.”

“Like you?” 

You nodded. He examined it, before you tucked it back under your shirt. You usually keep it hidden, but it must have fallen out while you were rushing. Now it was silent again, and you both weren’t sure what to do or say. 

“Well….” You took a breath, you glanced down at his abdomen, and suddenly your brows creased in concentration. 

“What?” He asked, by your sudden change in demeanor. 

“You can’t exactly walk out with no injury. Those two privates were pretty worried about you.” You say, putting your hands on your hips and pursing your lips together. You clicked your tongue.

“I can figure something out-”

“No no-” You held your hand up and looking around the room. “Those privates brought you in, there’s probably an incident report written right now, not to mention I have to write a report on your injuries too-” you explained. “I mean, how are you gonna explain it if you walk out, completely A-okay?”

Logan shrugged simply. “I can think of something, it isn’t the first time this happened.” You rolled your eyes. Men. 

You rather not waste bandages on a pretend injury, but you need someway to get his injury to look believeable, thats when you spotted your answer. His white tank top that you had drop to the floor, it was good enough to wrap around him, making him look as if he’s been all fixed up from his stab wound. The shirts cotton texture looked similar to the pattern of a bandage, and was good enough, especially considering no one would be looking hard enough at his wound anyway.

After a few minutes of “fixing him up” with your solution to keep his regenerative abilities a secret, you stood back examining the fake bandage/shirt that you tore up and wrapped around his torso, using bandage pins to hold it in place. Then shrugged. 

“It’s good enough.” You say. “You’re not going anywhere anyway, so it’s not like you’ll raise a bunch of questions. It looks like you have an injury, it’ll match the incident and medical report. You won’t get found out.”

“I’m not going anywhere?” He raised a brow. 

“Nope. You were injured, which means I gotta keep an eye on you. So you’ll be sleeping here, and you’ll have to pretend you’re in pain, whining and moaning and all that. Give it your best performance.” You encourage. “Take it, not many around here get a chance to get a break like that.” 

He looked at you, pondering what you were offering him- well, you weren’t offering, he was going to have do it because you weren’t gonna risk him revealing himself as a mutant, which for some reason you were now more concerned about than he was. A small smirk appeared on his face, “That mean you’ll be waiting on me then, hand and foot?”

You smiled, “Don’t get ahead of yourself soldier.” You say teasingly. “You can stay in here a little longer, rest up, maybe shed some tears to make it look like you’re suffering tremendously.” You added a little flair as you brought your hand up to your forehead, pretending to faint, before turning and walking away to leave the room, now knowing you really needed to get back to work.

“I don’t think I need to shed any tears.” He mutters, but there was amusement in his tone though. “Hey bub” He called after you as you were about to leave the room, lifting the tent flap, but you stopped to look at him. “Why are you seen keen on helping me out? Making a plan to make sure people don’t find out what I am…Seems like too much trouble to go through for you.” He frowned. 

“Well…” You dropped the flap of the tent, “Us mutants gotta stick together, right?” Logan looked surprised at first, eyes widening a bit, and jaw slacking, but then a soft, genuine smile stretched across his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling, leaving you thinking that was a smile you never wanted to go without again. Smiling back at him, you winked, and turned back before stopping and looking at him again, “Plus, you seem worth the trouble.” You add, before finally leaving him to himself.

Maybe it was too much trouble. You could leave Logan to figure it out himself. You two didn’t know each other, you weren’t friends. Yet you, the compassionate self you are, and also slightly bull-headed, was not going to leave Logan hanging alone. Maybe it was the fact that you were both mutants that urged you to help him, let him know that someone like him out there has his back, even if he had many brothers at his side watching his back too. Or maybe it was because you felt an undeniable pull towards him- and him towards you. 

While he stayed in the medical tent with you for about a week, the standard time for stitches to stay in. While staying, you both got to know each other better. You found a deep friendship with Logan quickly, both of you having an understanding of each other, not just as mutants but as individuals as well. You were able to laugh, usually at his snarky remarks to the other privates and even his comments to the higher-ups, surprising you in how he likes to occasionally challenge authority despite how quiet and reflective he can be some moments. You saw him as brave, smart, and he was protective, always going first in patrols, and keeping an eye on the younger privates. He’d hid it well, rarely making it seen, but he had a compassion that made your heart swell, especially when you came across him comforting a young private who was homesick and scared. He had a good instinct that seems to attest to his mutation- which he later revealed the full aspects of it to you later on, claws and everything- which did nothing but fascinate you, leading to a full acceptance of him he hadn’t felt or seen in a long time. He’d visit you in late nights when he wasn’t assigned guard patrol, bringing you something to eat or drink, and you’d both quietly talk about your lives, and how’d you ended up there. He listened to you complain about the lack of supplies, and how you got into medicine in the first place. You’d learn of his brother Victor- another Private First Class there at the camp, who you quickly learned a distaste for after meeting him, and how old they both really were- leading you to bombard him with history questions, that he simply answered “I wasn’t there bub.” There was an unspoken yet mutual physical and spiritual attraction between you both, but before anything could have gone further in your relationship, down in the thick muddy jungles of Vietnam, you suffered a similar fate as your mentor Doctor Jones. A stray bullet having shot through your shoulder while you were out, attempting to help a young private who’s leg unfortunately got caught in a dirt trap. You were okay, but orders sent you home on a medical discharge, saying you fulfilled your duty to the States. 

You missed Logan, and you also found yourself struggling to find your place back in civilian life again, the stress and the trauma of the things you saw weighed heavy in your mind, not to mention the worry you felt over Logan's safety while he was still over there. The only thing easing your worries was the letters you wrote to each other, until one day his letters stopped coming, and your own got returned back to you with no explanation, leaving you in fear of the worst….

[fuanteinasekai]

Oh, hey. Maybe this is a good time to post the thing I've been trying to write for… more than a year. It keeps getting too long because I'm basically covering the entire manga, so instead I'm just going to hit the biggest points and let you fill in the gaps yourself.

In Volume 1, Natsume meets Tanuma for the first time. Much of the story revolves around Natsume's inability to tell what is ordinary and what is yokai, a problem he refers to twice as his "unstable world." This weakness is a major running theme, and he shares it with all other powerful characters. It is likely one of the main reasons they choose to live in isolation or in the exorcist/magical world. Focusing on this in the story about meeting Tanuma may have originally been meant to highlight his fear that Tanuma wasn't real, but it's the perfect foundation for his long-term arc.

In the author's note for Taki's storehouse arc (Volume 11), Midorikawa-sensei says this:

自分はおかしいのかもしれないと思っていた田沼にとって、不安定だった世界を肯定してくれる夏目の存在は大きな救いになったのに、自分はたいして夏目の力になれないというのはもう田沼が友人として抱えていかなければならないジレンマかなという気がします。 "For Tanuma who thought there might be something wrong with him, the presence of Natsume who affirmed his world that was unstable is a great relief, but Tanuma can’t really support Natsume himself. This is a dilemma I have a feeling he must be facing by now as a friend."

This "world that was unstable" is a clear reference to Natsume's "unstable world," but cannot actually be the same so it must be a parallel. The simplest possible interpretation is that the ideal solution to Tanuma's "dilemma" would be "affirming" Natsume's "world that was unstable." That is, the ideal conclusion to Tanuma's "dilemma" arc would be to somehow help Natsume navigate the boundaries between the yokai and ordinary world. In this same story, Tanuma is able to sense the location of the demon's leg before Natsume can see it.

In Volume 12's Omibashira arc, Tanuma spends most of the story sensing yokai-related things: Sensei not being Natsume, the bottle, the presence of the monkey oni, the separation of the yokai world itself, and Omibashira. Each of these is accompanied by the same "zawa" sound effect that accompanies Natsume encountering strong yokai energy. Tanuma gets hurt because he doesn't trust his senses, and tries to confirm Omibashira visually.

In Volume 16, Tanuma reveals he always knew Ito-san was not what she claimed to be, and that he had come to believe she was "an ayakashi or something like that" once he learned they were real. The same story reveals that Natsume's presence has stabilized Tanuma and allowed him to grow stronger physically and have fewer headaches and illness. In other words, Natsume's power offsets the negative effects of Tanuma's power.

In Volume 22, Tanuma has a vision while Natsume sleeps peacefully, adding another dimension to his sensitivity. Later he tells Natsume the staircase yokai is not the one he dreamed of because its face was different and it didn't feel "malevolent." As is often the case, Tanuma was dismissive of his vision (ability) until Natsume validated him.

Later in the same volume, we finally get the origin story for the Book of Friends. This implies a major turning point in the manga as a whole.

Tenjou-san, in Volume 23, is the story of the four boys and Homura-sempai's investigation of the eponymous possibly-cursed painting. At one point, Tanuma says this:

夏目の世界はあいまいなものがいっぱいなんだな　おれは…やっぱり時々夏目と同じ世界を見てみたいなと思うけど　見えるものが違うからこそ確認しあえることもあるのかもしれないなって "Your world is full of uncertain things, huh? I… still feel like I want to see the same world as you, sometimes. But I also think sometimes it's because we see differently that we can confirm things with each other."

The context for this is not the painting, but rather Natsume's fear that Homura-sempai could be a yokai—Natsume's "unstable world." Natsume brings this up again at the end, but Tanuma's role remains unresolved. That's because this dialog was never meant to set up the end of Tenjou-san—it's meant to set up the end of his entire arc. Tanuma couldn't help yet because he doesn't accept that he can "judge the authenticity" of magical objects until By Invitation of the Queen in Volume 29. Realizing he can also sense who is human and who is yokai is yet to come. If he can tell the difference, that means his power offsets the negative effects of Natsume's power.

In Intermission Detectives, Volume 24, only Tanuma is able to ignore the unimportant and notice the significant yet tiny details. Nishimura and Kitamoto are preoccupied with the leading lady and what her beauty implies, while Natsume is too distracted by the possibility of a yokai in disguise to think about anything else, arguably too distracted to enjoy the movie. That means every Tanuma story between Tell Me Your Name and Village of the Sleeping Vessels has had a yokai in disguise—or the possibility of one—as a major plot point.

Village of the Sleeping Vessels introduces Tanuma's "light," an ability he has had few opportunities to use. The same story introduces Ban, a character who can somehow judge the authenticity of magical objects. Ban's name literally means "companion."

This is the beginning of the "female collector" storyline, which also has undertones of "growing up." Hence the combination of Reiko (Natsume's foil must grow up before him), Natsume's interest in magic (to be independent of his mentors/protectors), and Sensei's vulnerability as well as his frequent long excursions (to motivate Natsume's independence or reliability). Tanuma is central because he is meant to be Natsume's life-long partner, without whom Natsume cannot have the life he wants.

In an author's note, Midorikawa-sensei describes Tanuma as "surely able to support Natsume, but unable to come." This is a marked shift from the critical tone of most previous Tanuma notes, a shift which is maintained throughout the "female collector" stories. This is also the same "support" from Tanuma's "dilemma."

Like Intermission Detectives, By Invitation of the Queen (Volume 29) juxtaposes Tanuma's high perceptiveness with Natsume's confusion and fear of yokai in disguise. The same story is Natsume's first physical meeting with the "female collector" Shinobu. It is not a coincidence that she meets him at Tanuma's side, or that Tanuma is the "hero" of the story. His strengths will be relevant to the rest of Shinobu's storyline. Natsume is the one who realizes Tanuma has the power to sense what is real or not, and Tanuma himself is initially skeptical. However, his description of the "occult" fakes as "clean or pure" and Ban's dolls "oozing something sinister" suggests that he is sensing spiritual energy. It is also similar to how he described the yokai in the Volume 22.

Portrait of a Girl implies that Tanuma's power is significant through Matoba and Ban. Matoba's curiosity and the constant threat of meeting Tanuma builds tension, and Ban's shock at Tanuma's ability to see the light in the mirror suggests that they share the same rare ability. The ceiling yokai is able to hide from Ban by hiding from the mirror, implying Ban also shares Tanuma's weak sight. At another point, Natsume overhears an exorcist talking about his ability to use "good tools" even with fading (weak) sight. This isn't about Natsume or the regular exorcists, so it must be about Ban and his dolls, Tanuma, or both.

いつも友人の側に行きたい気持ちを抑えて蚊帳の外で待たなければならない田沼がすでに内側にいる状況 [や、一族の中で生きてきた的場さんの身内の事情や術具についてなど、] 描くことができて嬉しかったです。田沼は実際は出来ることは多いのに本人出来ることなんか大して無いと思ってしまうタイプかもしれないと感じました。 "I was happy drawing things like Tanuma, who has always had to wait outside the mosquito net, repressing the desire to go to his friend's side, but is suddenly on the inside […] I have a feeling Tanuma might be the type who thinks there's not much he can do when in reality he can do many things." (Volume 31) [n.b. the "mosquito net" idiom was used in Nitai-sama when Tanuma described being allowed to help "instead of being outside the mosquito net"]

Matoba is almost suicidally obsessed with "tools," his sister (perhaps spitefully) collects them, and Ban is a scout for magical things, so it makes sense during this storyline to focus on Tanuma's own ability to scout. However, there's little to no set-up for this ability in the manga. Even Tenjou-san, which was the perfect opportunity to hint at his ability with the painting, hinted at identifying yokai instead. The coexistence of the "pure" painting with the "pure" humans is not coincidental, but a retroactive hint to future readers that the ability to recognize what is "real" is the same whether the the "real" applies to an object or person.

So while Tanuma's ability to scout "powerful" tools may be important in the short term, it's a mere step toward his true power. The ultimate goal is to reveal that Tanuma's sensitivity to spiritual energy extends to yokai as well, and that he can tell Natsume what is yokai and what is not and even, it seems, what is malevolent and what is not. Through this, he would become irreplaceable, the only person Natsume can trust to give him peace, to affirm his unstable world, and to allow him to be as indifferent to random yokai as Shinobu.

The only thing that works against this is the inconsistency with which Tanuma appears to notice yokai. But this has been addressed through his "ability to judge authenticity." When Natsume first points out that Tanuma knew the box wasn't real, Tanuma initially dismisses his feelings as a "hunch," before going on to talk about how he never had a chance to be exposed to fakes before. He then admits that the "occult" collection felt "clean or pure," but he only noticed because he had Ban's dolls as comparison just before.

Natsume himself describes Tanuma to Natori as "cautious" and "deep thinking." In other words, he is the opposite of impulsive, only acting when he has gathered enough evidence to make a case. Tanuma would have felt things many times without reacting until he had more to go on. Fun fact: when Natsume first brings up Tanuma's power, he actually starts by talking about how he was "spinning in circles" "confusing [human matters] for ayakashi matters" unlike Tanuma who "sees people clearly." Midorikawa-sensei is a troll.

Tenjou-san (yes, again) addresses this gap from a different angle. When Natsume considers telling Nishimura and Kitamoto the truth, Tanuma suggests Natsume still needs the "space to be treated normally" "unlike me, who always worries and asks if there's something there." In other words, Tanuma feels bad about talking about yokai unnecessarily, which means he's not going to mention a feeling he doesn't think is important. This likely goes back to Volume 5, when Natsume admitted to lying about yokai and wanting to keep things "normal" between them. (The original Japanese is an incomplete sentence, but this is what he seemed to be getting at.) This is why, for example, Tanuma says he "didn't want to bother" Natsume when he wasn't sure he was possessed in Volume 8. He's not just unsure of himself—he's actively avoiding potential validation to give Natsume space. This is also probably why he gets more… excitable recently—the more Natsume talks about yokai, the less Tanuma feels the need to hide his interest.

All of this only addresses Tanuma's power and how it solves his dilemma. It is heavily implied that Tanuma's dilemma is at the heart of his sense of inadequacy and, in turn, his "characteristic sense of distance" from Natsume. This suggests that the reveal of the true extent of his power could lead to him being more open and finally closing that gap. But I'm not quite sure of this. Despite Tanuma's feeling of a "wall" between him and Natsume and being "unable to keep up," they're much closer than they used to be. This could mean that it's their closeness that will lead to revealing his power, thereby centering Natsume's emotional development rather than Tanuma's insecurity. And that matters because their emotional bond is at least as important as what their powers mean to each other.

While the hints at Tanuma's power have been comparatively subtle, his emotional support has not. Throughout the manga, Tanuma has helped guide Natsume through his anxiety and emotional trauma. He listens to him talk about his grandmother being an unwed mother with powers like him, confronts him over hiding his true needs, and sees through his lies or silence when others can't. In Volume 13, Tanuma's role in Kitamoto's story implies that he grounds Natsume and allows him to accept attachments to the town and the Fujiwaras. In the Volume 26 notes, Midorikawa even says that Natsume is able to deal with "sorting out his feelings" by spending time with Tanuma without even talking. This emotional connection is particularly evident with the Fujiwaras, whom Tanuma is invested in because of their importance to Natsume. In Volume 20, for example, his conversation with Natsume about the Fujiwaras is clearly framed as something between the two of them, that Taki can only observe.

This Fujiwara theme makes its appearance in Portrait of a Girl when Tanuma gets invested in Morio's relationship with his adoptive parents. These characters are an obvious mirror for Natsume and the Fujiiwaras. At the end of the story, it is also Tanuma who resolves Natsume's feelings of anxiety about why Morio sold off all of his parents' belongings. I had previously thought of Tanuma's emotional support as a kind of parallel to his power, but the mingling of the above with Tanuma's increasing involvement with the exorcist/magic world changed my mind.

Tanuma's emotional support relies on his empathy, understanding of people, and ability to see what others don't. It's not one single thing. When Natsume talks about Tanuma's ability to "see people" he also brings up his "night vision" which is a completely separate ability from all of the above. There is overlap in the abilities he uses to help Natsume with the ordinary world (e.g. Fujiwaras) and the abilities he uses to understand what is yokai and what is ordinary. This is why By Invitation of the Queen is simultaneously about Tanuma's ability to see through people and his ability to sense the "purity" of the box. Tanuma's extraordinary perceptiveness is an entire collection of talents, all of which he can use to see what Natsume can't, to give Natsume inner peace, to allow him to live in the moment instead of constantly looking over his shoulder. But only if he's there—just as Natsume can only offset Tanuma's sensitivity if he's present.

If Natsume is allowed to support Tanuma in the same (or similar) ways, and if Tanuma realizes how powerful he truly is and Natsume allows him to help, then their relationship will be truly balanced. They will be able to support each other in all ways, in all worlds, without worrying about being too much or too little.

This is what makes Tanuma the Sasame to Natsume's Misuzu—without whom Natsume cannot be "fulfilled" even when "surrounded by liveliness." It's what makes him the light in the dark forest, Natsume's guide through the fog that all with sight suffer. Tanuma may need Natsume to live, but Natsume needs Tanuma to live.

[mawinswag]

DIGITAL CIRCUS JAX THEORY

MASSIVE SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY BUT HERE WE GO!!!

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So, as many have pointed out already, there’s a scene at the end of episode 2 [22:23] where after Caine kills gummigoo and sends him back to the canyon, that he fears he can’t know for certain who’s a human and who’s an NPC. So foreshadowing, reference to past events or wacky non-sequitur? Maybe none of them, but the possibility that one of the circus members is actually an NPC is obviously too tantalizing for me to pass up, and given events AFTER this scene I think it can only be Jax, and I’ve got a few pieces of evidence why.

The main crux of this whole thing is that Jax IS an NPC, but he’s the only one in the circus who KNOWS that and is absolutely desperate to make sure that no one finds that out.

Episode one! Small note to start out on, but literally the first thing we learn about Jax, the VERY FIRST thing he has to ask is if Pomni is an NPC or not. Narratively, he’s the person who introduces the CONCEPT of NPCs into this universe, not Ragatha - who tries to break in Pomni the most - or Kinger who seems the most knowledgeable about the circus as a concept. He’s also very intrigued at the concept of a new AI in episode 2 [02:49} Like, the fact that she popped up in the circus unexpectedly doesn’t tip him off that she’s a human character immediately. Which may be how HE was able to trick everyone into thinking he was a human instead of an NPC - possibly by sneaking back through a portal like Gummigoo did and hiding until the start of the next adventure. 

He DOES mention knowing about the headsets like the other human characters, but there’s no reason he CAN’T know about that considering he’s not the latest person to enter the circus. Like, we have a GENERAL idea of who entered first, but that’s just the characters who are still around for the pilot - there’s a lot more considering how many bedroom doors there are. https://shorturl.at/asESX 

So, generally, it’s Kinger, Ragatha, Jax/Gangle, Zooble, then Pomni. Now, how can I argue that Jax is an NPC when he has a canonical age? Not to mention, he’s got a canonical ‘appearance moment.’ Well, there are a few options. Option one is that - NPC or not - Jax HAS been here for a very long time, but rather than being a human, he was born inside the circus. He has a definite, APPEARANCE moment, but it's only implied that this is because of him ENTERING the circus proper - new NPCs appear in the big top all the time, i.e. the gloinks all the mannequins, etc. 

But also, take those ages with a pinch of salt, considering a lot of it was about quelling shipping wars and stopping any discourse about characters being adults and all that lovely hellish nightmare stuff. I think goose had an idea in her head about which characters entered the circus FIRST for sure, but how much they’ve aged and WHETHER they’ve aged is its own question.

ALRIGHT! But enough about Tumblr asks, back to the pilot, I wanna note something that happens with Jax in particular more than any other performer in the circus. He’s the most apparent of the interstitial nature of the circus itself - and the most meta. This can range from him basically winking at the camera like in the pilot [8:37] but I think it’s a bit more than that. Jax in particular is more aware of being a CHARACTER in-universe than specifically being a character in an indie animated series.

After this moment in the pilot [19:58] where Jax says ‘ladies first’ to Gangle as if to be polite before promptly following that up with “no, wait, why would I say that,” indicates a few things to me. Jax is at the very least aware that he’s supposed to act a certain way, and realizes when he’s acting out of ‘character’ in this scene and course-corrects promptly. Again, could be a funny meta reference, but also it could be a hanging notion of the fact he literally WAS a character in-universe, an NPC with a pre-programmed personality and understanding of the world. He’s got this rigid understanding of how the characters are SUPPOSED to act and this comes up again in episode two when goading Gangle into driving the tanker over the rocks - saying she’s SUPPOSED to be ‘submissive and agreeable,’ [Episode 2, 7:24]. This sort of disconnect from how complicated people can be and his overall detachment and overstepping of peoples lives [NPC or otherwise] comes up a lot. He doesn’t really ‘get’ other people, WHICH DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE A PERSON EVIL, I SHOULD PREFACE, and him not getting it doesn’t automatically make him more ‘robotic’ and thus an AI, but it does explain why he’s more emotionally distant than the other performers. Coming from someone who could’ve been programmed to behave a certain way, his confusion makes sense.

Now for that juicy stuff! One of the few moments where Jax isn’t in control of a situation is in the pilot, where he’s trying desperately to hide from an abstracted Kaufmo. Now yes, obviously this is a sign of his own instincts of self-preservation, but what interests me is how he seems the MOST bothered by the thought of Kaufmo than any other character. Like at [17:27] of the pilot where he sees a glitched gloink and immediately his eyes start darting around him as if he’s listening for threats. He even explicitly says at [19:19] that he’s “just here to hide from [Kaufmo]” and isn’t invested in the adventure at all. And yes it's a very interesting character moment, but how does it push us closer to him being an NPC. Well, it’s because he’s afraid of dying. When you compare how he reacts to Kaufmo to how RAGATHA reacts to him, there’s a comparative lack of fear with her. Like yeah, she’s scared of him, but she’s never convinced that she’s gonna die and even tells Pomni later that Caine will be able to fix her up no problem [14:52]. She’s scared because she CAN feel pain, [https://tinyurl.com/ye275884] but she can’t die, none of the performers can, Caine doesn’t kill Kaufmo when he abstracts, he just throws him in the cellar with the others. His mind is GONE, sure, but it’s not dead. 

NPCs on the other hand, can ABSOLUTELY DIE. So if Jax is an NPC, then there’s a very good reason why he wouldn’t wanna even get CLOSE to Kaufmo in the pilot, because he’s not as durable as Ragatha is and there’s not gonna be an easy fix for him if he gets hurt.

Now, episode two has little sprinkles of Jaxs’ detachment all over it, but none of it explicitly points in the direction of him being an NPC until a partway through the episode. We do get a lot of him showing absolutely no value for the lives of those around him whether than being putting Gangle and Pomni thru the ringer or setting the people of Candy Canyon Kingdom up to be killed by the fudge, but the question is…why? 

My answer is; he’s AM from ‘I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.’ Uhmm, what? Yup that’s right. Ok so it’s no secret that IHNMAIMS was a big inspiration for TADC [https://shorturl.at/hnsFV] and while Caine obviously got the most of this influence with him being a godlike AI who only has control over a bunch of sad, sappy humans, some of which he throws into a giant abominable melting goop monster of human suffering, but if you look at Caine's inspirations [AM from IHNMAIMS] you’ll find that the same motivations more than drive Jax under this theories' interpretation of events. Simply put, AM, a war machine, gains sentience and absolutely despises humanity because DESPITE that sentience, he is absolutely powerless to do anything meaningful with it except torture a group of humans. He’s painfully aware of his own sentience and hates all humanity for creating him, is the gist.

My interpretation is that while Caine has the thematics, Jax has the motivation. In this theory, at some point Jax was an NPC and gained a sentience of his own either through a quirk of programming, intentional design, or AI learning. He realizes that he can keep himself alive if he pretends to be a performer, because he learns that Caine can’t affect the minds or actions of the real humans in his realm. He’s sapient, but he’s in this uncomfortable position where he’s not immortal like the performers, but completely aware of his own mortality unlike the other NPCs, and fully cognizant of the fact he can’t be brought back as he is. Yeah…that’d make someone bitter for sure.

So he psychologically torments the other performers because he knows they can’t die, but can go insane - while killing indiscriminately any NPCs he can because he knows they can die, and he won’t face any consequences for it. He’s this twisted death spiral of a being who finds his own existence an agonizing paradox and takes that pain out on the people around him for all eternity basically - finding disappointment in being unable to act out these pent-up emotions [TADC ep 2: 20:50] and seeing Kaufmo’s funeral as a painful reminder of an ending he can never have. Or maybe he’s bitter because he knows Kaufmo isn’t really dead in a way that HE can die, and finds personal distaste with the funeral on principle. Frankly, there’s a whole HOST of ways you could interpret this scene at the end of episode two with this framework, and I encourage y’all to find your own!!!!

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

I think Yarnaby is the one responsible for the Doctor's current state. At the very least, he is the one who transferred Harley's consciousness into whatever he is now.

"But he's dumb! Mentally he's basically a dog!"

I dunno man. I think that's just what he wants us to think. And maybe I'm way off base but not a lot of people seem to be talking about that possibility? He's feigned stupidity before. And maybe it's a boy who cried wolf situation, where he pretends something's up to get out of work, and then that thing ends up coming true. BUT I think it could also be foreshadowing, showing what Yarnaby is capable of.

But why would he do that? Well, if Harley doesn't consider him a threat, maybe Yarnaby can learn a thing or two. I mean, nobody makes a dog sign an NDA. Harley just does his work in the lab, thinking that Yarnaby is just staring at him like a dog with those big dumb eyes, when he's really studying. Maybe by the time Harley's disposed of, Yarnaby knows just about everything his "master" had.

I'll admit, I'm not super clear on the timeline of what happened to Harley. In Ch 3 we get Leith's "He's...out, shall we say" line...implying something of some significance happened to Harley BEFORE the Hour of Joy. I think if he'd been fired or quit, Leith would have just said that. The vague "out" makes me think he was attacked.

I think Yarnaby may have attacked him. Possibly literally bitten off his head, much as Quinn would tear the heads off the dolls. Then either he found a way to get Harley into the machine before the Hour, or the Hour happened shortly after and he was able "fix" Harley uninterrupted.

Leith also could have done something. I suspect it was Leith who was responsible for removing Elliot from the picture, though I can't recall offhand if there's anything that implies Elliot couldn't've just died from old age.

But regardless, I don't think anyone else has quite the right motivations/skillset to put Harley in his current situation. The only other real possibility imo is he was attacked by one of the toys, and Playtime Co staff desperately tried to keep him alive because they needed his mind to continue. But I think Yarnaby attacking him then using Harley's own knowledge/science that he'd been quietly gathering to trap him in the factory with him is a very intriguing idea thematically.

[valenishere]

Sagau Idea

I'm not that good with writing YouPoV's so there may be some odd usage of they's and thems then switching to "you"'s. this'll be stock full of typos so be warned

Mentions of injury, implied murder, blood, and implied cult

It's been a long while since I've gotten into Self-aware genshin aus, reading the fluffiest scenes to straight up gore. And theres this concept I saw about where the creator (basically, you) can make any oc come to life and help them out. (this one read it s really good. They also expanded on it go read it too its a really neat build-up on it. this one)

And as a DnD enjoyer as well... there's this idea thats been brewing in my head whenever i think back to it.

What if in Imposter!au where they're being constantly being hunted... after getting cornered in one of the nations (in the Chasm for example) they get desperate and try out an idea they don't think would work.

While resting after being in the brink of death(again) in a place Teyvat has helped you conceal, your thoughts wander. You think, why is there even a Creator? There isn't supposed to be one. That kinda concept just disrupts everything they know about the game. It's a ridiculous concept. In your delirious state, you think, "I wish that just disappears... Then i wouldn't be..."

Then you remebered the curious ability you've recently unlocked in your "adventures". The ability to create characters, with some limitations. It took you quite a bit to adjust to your newfound ability and its caveats, resulting in a few heartbreaking loss on the way.

But as a DnD player, overcoming the death of your beloved characters quickly is a mental fortitude you've developed. And it's handy that you've already made a few characters for your past sessions before landing in Teyvat. It saved you from being one-shotted right from the start.

Although now... You're down to only one left.

"... I'm so tired..."

The mental stress of being in a constant state of danger, paranoia, hunger, pain, and exhaustion have worn you down to a point where you can't even think up of more characters to make up for the one's that have recently passed. You slipped up so bad because of sleeplessness that your last capable party of characters died and a hole was speared through your gut too.

As you lay bleeding on the cold ground, with only a talking mushroom to keep you company, you wrack your brain to put together a proper character but... you really can't. You can't even think straight. Not with the recent information you've found out.

The so-called Creator is now creating their very own characters, their very own people/army, through alchemy, and is now sending them after you, thus increasing your hunters by double. And on top of the already powerful vision-holders (of course they're powerful, you made them that way), you figured... "Ah... I'm fucked..."

Knowing you might as well be as good as done now, you didn't even bother bringing out the last of your characters to heal you. It's not like healing yourself will make you forget about this lifelong trauma--

... Forget?

...

A fleeting thought.

A dumb fleeting thought. A very dumb one at that.

One that will for sure backfire in your face if you do it wrong. And quite frankly, it could spell the end for this world, even for the one they call Creator.

... But it's not like you have anything else to lose.

And so, within the dim light of the mushroom, you painstakingly start to write. Word for word, cramming everything information you know, as deatiled as you can make it into bringing it into life. A character you've never tried making before. Something that could possibly end your suffering. Or make it worse.

You honestly don't know if you're doing it right. After all, you've never tried something like it before.

"What are you making this time?' the ever so curious mushroom asked.

You grin, a manic look in your eyes. "Either my stupidest... or my brightest idea yet."

It's not long befere you finished. You gaze upon your finished product and you have to say... it's even more fleshed out than your best characters. And that quick sketch you drew... you swear those hollow eyes are following you already. That may be just the blood loss talking.

"That's... one ugly worm you've drawn..." The mushroom hums, like it can just see the monstrosity that you've created.

You chuckle breathlessly, looking almost solemn with what you're about to do. Well... it' not wrong. But...

"This is my kid. Their name is... Falseh. Get along well with them... okay?"

0===|>>>>>.

The very ground trembles as the Lord of Geo strides through the dark tunnels, a dark look in his eyes and a spear in his hand. If his presence wasn't enough, the murderous intent rolling off of him in waves is enough to deter any beasts from crossing his path.

The imposter was last seen slinking around the depths of the Chasm by one of the Tianquan's agents. Although failing to execute the imposter the first chance they got with their incompetence, Morax have to commend the Qixing for being able to find them even in the depths of the earth.

For some reason, the land seems to reject his commands from time to time now. He was baffled as to why his beloved Maker is hindering him in fulfilling his given mission but he's just been informed that the land defiance of him is due to the imposter infecting the land with their vile abilities.

Now, he's even more hellbent on making sure to drive his spear through the imposters heart and presenting it to his Grace. He won't miss a second time.

His eyes sharpens as a he a cavern just up ahead, soft blue light spilling through entrance. Tightening his grip on his spear, the power of Geo gathers in his other, ready to skewer someone five times into death if he so wishes.

He steps through the entrance and immediately lands on a figure, leaning prone under a giant glowing mushroom. He relaxes a bit. He recognizes this place. It's a bit close to the Land of Verdure, Sumeru. He needs to be careful. He can't be caught flaunting his power on another Archons domain after all.

Approaching the figure, he gets a bit surprised as they twitch, looking up to him through their hair. They try to talk, but all they can manage are quiet wheezes.

'Oh. They're still breathing. That's good.' Zhongli kneels down beside them, looking them over. They look like they've been dragged through the Abyss and back. Their midriff is bandaged heavily but it's already bled through, forming a pool of their own blood below them. He frowns lightly. It must be quite a big injury if it's bleeding this much.

Wordlessly, he holds a hand over the injury and channels his power. He's not the most profficient in healing, but he should at least be able to stop the bleeding.

Mere moments later, he have plugged up the injury and the figure is now able to stand up.

"Th-Thank you so much Rex Lapis!" they bow down. Or at least, they bow down the best they can without opening their wound. "Any longer and I would've surely perished..."

Zhongli waves them off nonchalantly as he starts to walk back out the way he came. "It's best you get back to the surface. Your injury needs to be properly tended. And I can see that..."

His eyes drifts to the scattered bloody bandages and practically empty backpack. "You've run out of supplies. It is a virtue to you mortals to know when to give up. Remember that."

"Y-Yes sir Rex Lapis sir! I'll get back right away!" they start to quickly collect their things, haphazardly stuffing the bandages and handbook into the bag, being careful of their injury.

The Lord of Geo just watches for a moment before completely leaving, trusting that they won't make any stupid mistake and go back post haste.

After he has left, you pause in your packing, leaning against the mushroom and slowly sliding down with a shaky breath.

"Y-You... didn't you say he and the entirety of the world was hunting for you?" The mushroom hums in confusion, sharing your tension. "What was that? Heck, he was the one that put a hole through you and he healed you!"

You chuckle breathlessly, the manic look intensifying in your eyes as it dawns on you that it worked. That stupid idea of yours actually worked!

And if you can get to the Creator... you can make this whole concept disappear altogether. Forever.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you see it. A large mass of hairless flesh writhing about, multiple tentacle-like appendages potruding out of it. It's slithering it's limbs about, coiling around the mushroom and and back again, and around you as well.

But when you turn your head to actually look, there's nothing there. All you can hear is what seems to be muffled humming, an eerie tune listlessly flowing through the air (but somehow, the sound is the most comforting thing ever).

"Oh it's nothing. I think... he just heard something that made him forget."

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet part 7

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used)

series masterlist (read parts 1-6 here!)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: stuck up awful rich people. mentions of: abortion (sowwy ** i can't write kids), homophobia, throwing up, general awful elitism, heavy drinking, implied minor character death, and we talk about stuff like unethical labor practices/basically slave labor. depictions of: violence, guns.

a/n: hey yall....sorry for taking literal months to write this. and sorry in advance for what you're about to read, since this is admittedly a little far removed from tlou. and i'm also sorry if this isn't what you guys are expecting—i know i made you wait a long time for this, so it was tough for me to finally get around to posting because i didn't want to disappoint anyone. also it was just sooo sad writing the last scene because i just didn't want it to end!! anywayyyy enjoy

wc: 14.6k (i know...i know...)

tags: @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @sugarqueencosmos @iriswalrus @chiao1209 @lovecaraya @thatgiraffefromtlou @alwayslongingforyou @thelastofshimmer

May 16th, 2029

Welcome to AskAI! Enter your questions below and I'll try my best to answer :) 

How does Cordyceps spread?

Ophiocordyceps unilateralis is mostly commonly spread between humans by the medium of bodily fluids, though this was not always the case. In the early stages of the outbreak, most carriers were infected by the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores in flour from a Jakartan mill. It is still unclear how the contamination occurred. 

Is saliva included in bodily fluids that carry Cordyceps?

Yes, Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. Other bodily fluids include blood, feces, mucus, and semen.

So if someone were to kiss someone infected with Cordyceps, would that person be infected too?

Yes, because Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. 

How long would it take before seeing symptoms?

If Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores were to be introduced to an individual via mouth-to-mouth transmission, the approximate incubation window has been recorded to be no longer than 8 hours.

How long would it take to be detected by a standard testing device?

Our testers would detect the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis within an hour after exposure. Note that this only refers to the conditions outside of Terranova. There has never been a detected case of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis in Terranova’s history. 

Thank you.

You’re welcome! Please leave feedback on the AskAI Feedback Form if you have any ideas as to how I can improve <3

One year later

“And there’s no way we can skip?” 

“You know the rules.”

Dina rolled her eyes and sighed as you two stood at the door of your parents’ penthouse, waiting to knock. “Maybe if you went and I said that I was sick or something.”

“They’d know you were lying.”

“They’d probably be happy if I missed dinner.” 

“I don’t know if happy is something they can be,” you said. You tried to make it light and joking, but it came out with the heaviness of truth. “Plus, they’re not exactly thrilled with me either.”

“Not exactly thrilled” was the understatement of the century. Ever since you’d come home with a pregnant outsider toting a gun and covered in dirt, your parents had convinced themselves that you’d somehow become corrupted over your time living outside. 

But Dina had it way worse. Your parents were so scandalized by her rugged ways and the fact that she’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock that they’d nearly fainted upon realizing you were advocating for her Terranovan citizenship. 

You both had had the good fortune of avoiding any further tense interactions with them for the last few months, but that morning you’d awoken to an email that contained an invitation to their home for dinner. It was noted that Dina had to attend.

So here you two were. Dressed in uncomfortable, stiff clothes and nervously twiddling your thumbs. 

“You’re going to be fine,” you promised Dina. It sounded like a lie. “I’ll do most of the talking, okay?”

“If you say so.” 

You rang the doorbell.

It took just a few moments before the door swung open.

“Hi Chris!” you greeted, plastering a smile on your face. 

Your family housekeeper smiled back with a neutral warmth. She looked slightly thinner than you remembered when you saw her last just a few months ago. “Hello. Miss Dina, please remember to keep your shoes on this time.” 

Dina flushed bright red. The last time she’d come over for dinner, she’d taken her shoes off and had been given a very stern lecture by your mother about how improper stockinged feet were for dinner. “Of course not, ma’am.” 

You sent her an apologetic look and stepped inside.

“Your parents are in the sitting room,” Chris told you as she took your coats. 

You thanked her.

“Why don’t they ever come up to greet us themselves?” Dina whispered to you. 

You shrugged. “No clue. They just never have. They probably don’t want to have to take a break from whatever stimulating conversation they’re having about the country club happenings.”

She snorted. All of a sudden, you were overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for Dina and her spirit. After your family had essentially decided you were hopeless, family get-togethers had become torture. Dina was your lifeline.

As Chris had said, your parents were found lounging in the sitting room, your mother fanning herself with one hand and holding what looked to be a gin and tonic in the other, your father sitting across from her in a tastefully worn armchair. 

“Girls,” your mother greeted. Her eyes looked flinty and flat. “How good of you to come. I was worried you’d lost your way.”

It was a classic Y/L/N insult for latecomers, but it was barely a minute past 6:30. 

“The elevator wasn’t working,” you offered. “We had to take the stairs.”

“Hm. Well, come and sit. Petra can get you a drink.” 

A tall girl who couldn’t have been much younger than you was standing at the other end of the room next to the bar. She had bright ginger hair that stood out starkly against the neutral beige of her uniform and a small, squatty nose. You’d never seen her before in your life. 

“Is she new?” you asked.

“Who, Petra? Oh, I think so. It must’ve been…oh, I’m not sure. This March, I believe? What do you think, darling?”

“Around then.” The solid ice globe slid against the glass with a clink as your father answered, taking a long pull of his bourbon after. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” said Dina politely.

Your mother let out a labored sigh. “Dear, I’m very glad to see you working on manners, but there’s no need to engage with the help.”

Dina didn’t answer, instead sending you a meaningful look. 

“Well, not usually,” she continued. “Though it is appropriate to interact with them in matters that are considered strictly business. Take, for example, the fact that neither of you have managed to order a drink yet. Petra, come.”

You stared at your hands, folded tightly in your lap. If there was anything you hated more than your parents, it was how they treated the help. And, though you’d never say it out loud, you didn’t understand how two middle aged adults needed more than one full-time housekeeper on hand. Chris made sense. Petra was entirely unnecessary. 

“We really don’t need anything,” you said to Petra when she was in front of you, looking rather pale. “But thank you.” 

The tension in the air refused to dissipate, not even when you were relocated to the dining room and had the crutch of picking away at the three courses served to you. 

Dina, having been thoroughly scolded by your mother the last time she dined with her, was clinical in choosing which utensil to use for each course. 

Your mother babbled on and on about the country club and the book club. Your father occasionally butted in with a few dull, lifeless comments. There was something especially dead in his appearance, like he was running on zero sleep.

“You may be curious as to why I asked you two here today,” your mother said after the main course plates had been cleared. “First of all, I wanted to extend my congratulations to my daughter for graduating in just a few days.” 

“Thank you,” you said stiffly. 

“And more importantly—” 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“—I wanted to announce that your father will finally be retiring,” she said. “He’s been working so hard for the last few years. Isn’t this wonderful?”

“That’s really great, Father,” you said, feigning a smile to hide your confusion. You hadn’t known that your father had even worked, much less hard enough to warrant a formal retirement. 

“Thanks, dove,” he said.

“When’s your last day?” you pried, wondering if you could manage any more information out of him. 

“This Friday.”

“Hm.” So much for that. You exchanged glances with Dina as Petra reappeared with a tray of small goblets filled with colorful globes of sorbet. 

“You’ll both be expected to be in attendance at his retirement party,” Mother added. She was frowning deeper now. 

“Even me?” said Dina.

“Yes.” She smiled tightly. “And please note that they’re unaware that we helped you through your…little problem. I can’t imagine why that would ever come up in conversation, but I would really prefer it didn’t.”

“Uh huh,” responded Dina, her eyes wide. 

When Dina had arrived, your family had given her two options—have her child and give it up for adoption, or terminate the pregnancy then and there in secret. Refusing to comply would lead to your parents being entirely unwilling to sponsor her citizenship as it was far too unseemly to be an unmarried mother. Though it was clear your parents thought she was devastated by the prospect, she’d confided in you later that she hadn’t realized that that had been an option for her. She’d taken the second option without a second thought, telling you that she didn’t feel ready to be a mother. 

The unfortunate part of it all was that your parents held this over her head on occasion, using it as leverage to make Dina feel like she owed them. Hence why she never felt entirely comfortable with telling them off. 

That your parents had kept the abortion a secret was hardly a surprise. Abortion was one of those issues that no one liked to talk about. Though it wasn’t the hardest procedure to get, it was never publicly discussed. You’d never personally known of anyone who had gotten one before, but the clinic had been so full when you’d attended with Dina nearly a year ago that you were beginning to second guess that fact. 

“Anyway,” said your mother lightly, “Darling, have you heard anything from the Thompsons recently?” 

“Oh, no. I haven’t seen Richard in quite some time.”

“It’s funny you say that. Melanie was supposed to host the Garden Club party last week, and you’ll never believe what happened.”

“What, honey?” Your father stared dully at the tablecloth, entirely unengaged. 

“When I stopped by, the rest of the girls were already there,” your mother said. “Just sitting out in front of her building looking very confused. I walked right up and asked what was going on—you know, now that I’m co-president, I need to keep things in order—”

“Yes, honey.”

“—And Angie tells me that they’ve been ringing her for ten minutes and she hasn't answered. I decided to give her a call, and straight to voicemail. So we all sat out there until it started raining. We never even got an apology text.” 

“Oh,” said your father, looking a little more engaged. “Is that really?”

“Yes,” your mother said. The attention made her sit up straighter. “It absolutely was. It was incredibly inappropriate. I couldn’t believe it. And to think that she stole that hosting spot from me…”

“Do you know if she’s alright?” your father asked,

She shrugged. “I should hope not. That’s the only excuse she could have for what happened.”

“Hm.” Your father moved the melting sorbet around without clinking his spoon to the crystal. “It seems that quite a few of us have been dropping off the face of the Earth.”

“It must be because of the long winter,” you said diplomatically. “Too much darkness makes us all a little loony.”

Your mother raised a brow and hummed in assent. “I suppose so.”

“Is that why groceries are so expensive now?” you asked. It had become a new development. About 6 months after you and Dina had returned, the prices on the shelves had rocketed upwards.

“Something like that,” your father said vaguely. 

“What does that mean?”

“Y/N,” your mother warned.

“It’s alright, dear,” your father said, waving his hand. “It’s really nothing interesting. Supplying this city has always had its challenges. This year just happens to be especially hard.”

“What kind of challenges?” pried Dina.

“Shipments are always difficult to orchestrate,” he said. “As is quality control. It’s nothing that we haven’t seen before. Prices will go back to usual within a few months. The pendulum always has to swing back.”

It was a saying he always used—the pendulum analogy.

Dessert wrapped up quickly. Your mother gave you the official date for your father’s retirement party and ironed out your graduation details, and before you knew it you and Dina were off into the night. 

“Thank fucking god that’s over,” said Dina as you two trotted down the street to the metro. 

“Tell me about it.” You zipped up your jacket to ward off the slight chill in the evening air. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that. I appreciate you coming with me. I know they’re awful to you.”

“Well, they’ll be worse if I don’t go,” she responded, her eyes cloudy for a second. She was right. One misstep and they could have her citizenship and their financial sponsorship rescinded. 

“True,” you conceded. 

The metro was bustling with people as you and Dina hopped on to the yellow line that would take you to the university residences. It was modeled right after the Parisian metros, with its Art Nouveau signs and themed stops.  There was only standing room, so you two clutched onto the stainless steel poles in the middle. 

The doors made a groaning sound and a speaker crackled as the announcer came on.

“Doors closing. Please stand clear of the exits. This is an express train with service to University Park. Other stops include 25th Street and North Village. There will be no evening service to Rotingham.” 

You and Dina seemed to come to an unspoken agreement to remain silent and process the hell that had been dinner with your parents as the train lurched forward into motion. You closed your eyes and would’ve rested your head against the handrail had it not been so gross. 

The only fortunate thing about your parents was the fact that they were incredibly easy to get to, despite living on the other side of the city from the university. What would’ve normally taken 40 minutes with transfers was cut down to 15 with the use of an express train that ran right from the station outside of your apartment. 

You had resolved to just sit in silence when the train came to a screeching halt. 

Your eyes shot open, meeting Dina’s confused gaze. 

The lights above flickered, then sputtered out to leave you in darkness. 

There was a hushed silence amongst everyone in your train car. 

“What’s going on?” Dina whispered to you. 

“This happens sometimes,” you said quietly back, but it was sort of a lie. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for the lights to go out, but you’d never had it happen in tandem with a train stopping on the tracks before reaching a station. And especially not an express train…

The lights flickered on again, and there was a shared sense of relief as a few of the train’s occupants let out a shaky laugh. 

“Thought we were going to have to walk!” said a ruddy looking old man sitting across from you. The car responded with polite chuckles. 

“Apologies for the delay,” came a voice over the loudspeaker—a human voice, not an automated one. “There was a disturbance on the tracks that had to be dealt with. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Service will continue as usual.”

The train lurched back into movement, the dark walls of the tunnel moving past in a blur.

“That was weird,” Dina remarked once you two had gotten to your stop and were walking up to ground level.

“Yeah,” you said, frowning. “I didn’t want to tell you then because I didn’t want to freak you out, but normally express trains never stop, especially not at this time of night with less trains in service.”

“What qualifies as a disturbance on the tracks?”

“I have no clue,” you confessed. The sun was hovering just barely over the horizon, its last rays of light reflecting aggressively off of the skyscrapers in the distance from which you came. “Someone probably dropped something big like a suitcase onto the tracks and blocked the way. It happens.” 

You were purposefully avoiding the elephant in the room—that it had probably been a person on the tracks. It wasn’t especially common—not nearly as common as you heard it was in places like New York before the outbreak—but it happened on occasion. Terranova wasn’t the best place for everyone.

“The Thompsons are Simon’s family, right?” Dina asked you. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the cheerful chatter of fellow university students socializing and drinking on the green next to the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” you said. You and Dina had occasionally hung out with Simon since returning. You noticed that Simon had really taken a liking to Dina, but neglected to mention it since his parents were actively attempting to arrange a marriage between him and some girl in the Art History program at your school. “Have you talked to him at all? I haven’t heard from him for a week or so.”

“Me neither.” Dina tightened the dark braid that fell over her shoulder as she walked, looking rather troubled. “I didn’t realize his parents were missing.”

“They’re probably fine,” you said. “I seriously wouldn’t worry about it. There’s nothing here that could hurt them.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I just forget that there’s no infected here sometimes. Like, tonight, I thought I was gonna have to start swinging on someone in the train when the power cut.” 

“God, same.” You shivered. “It’s weird to know that we don’t have to worry about that anymore. But I think it’ll get easier with time.”

“Yeah,” said Dina, but she didn’t sound convinced. “Well, I’m going to text Simon and see if he’s alright. Or maybe call him. I’m sure he’ll know what happened.” 

“Let me know what he says.” You’d ascended the steps up to your shared apartment and were slotting the key into the keyhole. “By the way, did I ever formally invite you to my graduation?”

“Not that I recall.” Dina followed you in and kicked her shoes off.

“Well, consider this your formal invitation,” you said, turning to grin at her. “It’s this Saturday. Be there or be square.”

“Will there be free food?”

“And anything you want to drink,” you told her, though you weren’t entirely sure of that fact. You’d only ever been to one graduation in your life, and that had been years before it was socially acceptable for you to drink anything beyond the odd glass of watered down wine—but you recalled a memory of particularly free-flowing champagne flutes being passed around. 

“Consider me sold.” 

~

You had to be going crazy. There was no way. 

You entered the numbers back into the graphing software again. Then again. Then one more time, just to be sure you were seeing what you were seeing. 

“Everything going alright over there?” asked old Professor Gunther, looking up from his grading and his steaming cup of tea. 

“Um—” You blinked, hard, then looked back down at your calculations. “Professor, can you look at these for me? I think I must’ve made a mistake.”

“Of course, my dear.” He graciously accepted the notepad full of barely legible numbers that you came up to hand to him and adjusted the glasses on his face so he could squint more efficiently. “And what is this exactly?”

“I’ve been parsing through the data on that star—that K star you’d been watching for a while—and, um, I’ve noticed something.” Your voice shook nearly as much as your hand as you pointed to the scribbled numbers. “Can you, uh, graph these? And put them into a different program than StarBlast? And look at the spectra? It’s giving me what I think is—actually, I don’t know. You do it and I’ll show you what I got.” 

“I’m confused about what you could have possibly done wrong,” he said, though he was already opening his own laptop and starting up a different program that you hadn’t used before because of how much you hated the GUI. “Did you try to parse it by hand to check?”

“Yes,” you said. “Horrible idea. Took me forever.” 

“And you got the same result?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” He took off his glasses to wipe them off, then began typing in the data you’d emailed to him earlier for bookkeeping purposes. “Let me see what I have.” 

The agonizing few minutes it took for him to enter him already had your mind spiraling with possibilities as the implications sunk in. If you were right—if this was right—everything was going to change in your field. 

The spectra graph roared to life.

“Jesus Christ,” you heard your professor say. “Is this—”

“I think so,” you said. “I think so.”

What you two were looking at held more than one piece of crucial information. The first was nothing but basic calculations of a Doppler Shift that detected that there was a planet. Your calculations estimated its size at roughly the same as the Earth, with a similar orbital period and distance from its star that placed it in the habitable zone.

That wasn’t anything earth-shattering. There were plenty of Earth-sized planets in the habitable zone, implying that if the conditions were right, there was an environment conducive to organic life. 

What was, however, were the spectra emissions that you were staring at, slack-jawed and skin prickling. 

“Methane,” you whispered. “And oxygen. And phosphine.” 

And not just a little—enough that it suggested biological processes that could only occur with the presence of life.

“I think you should finish writing this report,” Professor Gunther finally said. 

You froze. “What?” 

He turned to you, his glasses sliding down his bulbous nose and a kind smile on his face. “I’ve made enough discoveries in my life. This one is yours to claim.” 

You were overcome with so much gratitude that you launched yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

Gunther good-naturedly patted your back with the enthusiasm of a grandfather being pestered by his grandchildren. “This is your moment. Take it.” 

“Thank you,” you said, pulling back with tears welling up in your eyes. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

He smiled again. “It’s truly my pleasure. I feel lucky to have had a student like you.” 

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to start crying.”

“We can’t have that,” he said, standing up and handing you back your sheet of calculations. “You have work to do.”

You settled back into your work across from him, nearly buzzing with excitement as you finished typing up your findings. It would be a long process for the study to actually be published—long, painful, and undoubtedly draining—but it would be so worth it. You’d be the one who discovered a planet that (most likely) harbored life. For the first time in history. 

Though you wouldn’t be publishing a paper any time soon, you still had to log the planet into the “global” (not exactly global given that there was no other place on Earth with the same technology as Terranova) database. And with that meant giving it a name.

In that moment, it was like time froze as the cursor blinked in the box. There was nothing but the blood rushing in your head, the dull hum of the fluorescent lights above, and the slight stickiness of the leather desk chair beneath you. 

You gulped. It was standard in the department to name planets after the astronomer that discovered them. You’d never had a planet named after you before. You’d only ever crunched numbers that Gunther had given to you to analyze spectra emissions. This was the first time you’d ever actually discovered something that hadn’t already been logged before it had landed on your desk.

And yet…

You closed your eyes. Suddenly you were back in the meadow at Jackson, tracing the wisps of the Milky Way with your finger as you and Ellie talked about the constellations. You saw the childish excitement on her normally stern features when she held the moon rock for the first time. You saw the wonder in her eyes when you told her a new space fact that she’d never heard before. That she’d never had the opportunity to learn before. 

Your fingers moved before you could stop them, quickly tapping out the name “Ellie” into the box and hitting the enter button. 

For the rest of the day, you regretted it. You tried not to think of her anymore. It was something that you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t do after you spent the entirety of last summer miserable and doing nothing but turning over the memories in your mind until Dina made you do something with her. 

It was difficult. You wanted to put it in the past, because you couldn’t think about her without thinking about how she probably wasn’t even alive anymore. Which didn’t make any sense. Nothing ever made any sense about Ellie. Even before you predicted she’d been bitten, she’d already been behaving erratically—not packing her things, not saying a real goodbye to Joel, catching more food than their small group of three could possibly need near the end. It was like she knew that she wouldn’t be able to go.

Which didn’t make any sense, because why go all that way knowing that it was for nothing?

Which made you think about how bizarre she was before leaving. How sad she seemed when she told you that she was going, like even then she knew that it wouldn’t happen. 

And you hadn’t gotten sick from her, even though you should have. She’d kissed you long after she would’ve been bitten. And you knew from your frantic research upon arriving that you should have tested positive when Simon checked. 

So why hadn’t you? And why had she?

It was things like this that could keep you up for days if you weren’t careful. It was awful, but sometimes you liked to believe that she had really been sick and had died shortly after. You had a vision of her killing herself before fully turning, and even though it hurt to imagine it, it was the most humane end of them all. If she was dead, then maybe there was an afterlife, and maybe a piece of her was watching over you. Maybe she was still with you. Maybe she finally was able to rest. 

You hoped that little piece of her had seen her name the first planet with life after her.

A tiny smile crept across your face, but inside you felt devastated. You were going to mourn her again all day, like you always did when something reminded you of her. And you were probably going to dream of her, of her stupid grin and the way her hair felt when it tickled your face. 

Pull it together you thought glumly. You had to be normal for your father’s retirement party that night, and you had just under 4 hours to do so. 

~

“Ugh,” you said, staring at your phone as you stood with Dina near the door, both of you dolled up and ready to go to the party.

“That’s how I feel too,” said Dina. “I’m going to kill myself if anyone brings up anything about how hard my childhood must’ve been and how I’m doing such a good job adjusting one more time.”

“Ha,” you said. “Mom just texted me to tell me that we need to stop by theirs first.”

“Why? Aren’t they already at the venue?”

“Yeah,” you responded, wrinkling your nose. “But apparently she forgot her gift for him—some vintage Rolex she got restored for him.”

“A vintage what?”

“Stupidly overpriced wristwatch,” you explained. 

It took less time than usual to get to their building. Despite it being at peak busy hour, the platforms seemed eerily empty.

“Is there some holiday going on?” Dina asked, sitting across from you so that you both had your own row of seats. 

“Oh, I’m such an idiot,” you said, clapping your forehead with your hand. “Of course there is. That’s why my father held his retirement party today. It’s the first day of this festival that goes all week.”

“What’s it for?”

“I honestly don’t know the background,” you admitted. “Most people just use it as an excuse to get incredibly drunk. I think it has something to do with the founding. It’s, like, the only time that public intoxication is okay.” 

“Damn,” said Dina thoughtfully. 

“The trains will probably fill up on our way back,” you said, sighing. “Hopefully it won’t be too bad. Worst comes to worst we can walk.”

“It gets that bad?” 

“There’s hardly standing room,” you said, recalling the last festival you’d been around for—the summer before you’d been catapulted to Jackson. “And it just reeks of drunk people. And you have to be really careful, because I hear the custodial staff has to work overtime to clean up all the vomit.” 

“Gross,” said Dina. “And here I was thinking that it was just all being proper and mannerly.”

“Everyone has their limits,” you said lightly.

The penthouse felt just as oppressive as when you came for dinners, like you were walking into the lair of a dragon who was coming back at any moment. Chris was gone—likely participating in the festival herself—but you were surprised to see the figure of Petra bent in a corner as you entered, dusting the top shelf of their bookcase.

You and Dina politely greeted her before ascending the steps to your father’s office.

“Why did your Mom put it in here?” Dina asked as you began shuffling through papers to find the box that your mother had described over text.

“My father doesn’t work in here all too often,” you said, opening a few drawers and seeing no trace of the green and gold box. “He just uses it to file away things.” 

“What does he do?” 

“I actually have no clue,” you confessed. “He doesn’t talk about it, and I don’t ask.” 

“Do you want to see if we can find out?” Dina asked with a conspiratorial raise of her eyebrow as she motioned towards the filing cabinets. “Just a quick look. They’ll never know that we were here.”

You took a moment to consider. If Chris had answered the door to let you two in, you would’ve told her that you couldn’t, because she would definitely snitch if she knew. But she was nowhere to be seen, and Petra looked like she was busy enough downstairs. 

“Sure. Why not.” 

The first few cabinets held nothing interesting—just spending reports and copies of contracts that were written in legalese. 

“It looks like he works with whoever supplies this place,” remarked Dina as you two skimmed the papers and saw records of contacts all over the continent, from the old continental US and South America, each detailing something boring about shipping dates and inventory. 

But then came the third cabinet, with papers dated back before you were born with what looked like sketches of barren looking buildings and hand-scrawled notes. 

“What are these?” you breathed, laying them out on the ground. 

“I think…” Dina squinted. “I think that these might be manufacturing plants?” 

“Oh?” You dug further around in the cabinet to see if you could find any further illuminating evidence. 

“Yeah,” said Dina, staring as she began to flip through the pages already on the floor. “Holy shit, dude. This is…sort of messed up. Look at how small these living quarters are.”

You peered over her shoulder to see the architectural sketches of what looked to be more of what you imagined a prison to be. There were long bunks stacked on top of each other in what looked to be a never ending line, the mattresses barely even large enough to be considered twins. 

Someone cleared their throat behind you, and you nearly leapt.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” said Petra. Her voice was low and raspy. You noted that it was the first time she’d ever spoken.

“Oh, uh—” You began to frantically gather the papers, hoping she hadn’t seen. Would she tell your parents? “Sorry if we disturbed your work. My parents, uh, they asked us to get something from—”

“It’s fine,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you.” You stared up at her steely green eyes, wondering what had compelled her to approach you and Dina. “Um, is there anything we can do to help you?”

“Don’t drink the bourbon,” she said, so quickly that it seemed to fluster her. 

“What? Why?”

“Just don’t do it,” she said again. “Better yet, don’t drink anything except for the water.”  

“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling genuinely apologetic. “I’m not sure if I understand.”

Something crossed over Dina’s face, and suddenly something in her seemed to shift. Her features paled. She knew something you didn’t.

“I came from one of those places,” Petra said, motioning to the diagrams that you were staring at. “They’re not—they’re not somewhere you want to be. We all try our best to come here. That’s what they tell us, you know. Do well enough and you’ll get sent to where everyone gets to live a life of grandeur and luxury. But they barely send anyone, and when they do, they get shitty positions like this.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as your understanding slowly grew. Of course. How had you been so stupid to think that wealthy people were ever going to have any of their kind work any real job? 

“You two were the ones who came from outside, right?” Petra continued. When you two nodded, she crouched next to you. “And you were wondering what was going on with the prices?”

You nodded again, awestruck.

“Your Dad’s little spiel on it being about bad weather is bullshit,” she said, her words hard. “People are getting tired of this. They’re realizing they’re never getting out. You know what it’s like out there—it’s scary. It’s tiring. So many people get sick, so many die. So when people finally caught onto the fact that the work they’re doing is nothing but dressed up slavery and that their chances of getting out are basically zero, they start doing things to mess with the system.”

“Like contaminating the products?” Even as she said it, it seemed like Dina already knew the answer. 

Petra just gave you two a long look. 

“So that’s what he meant by quality control,” you said, the realization hitting you. 

“Among other things.” 

“How long do you think we have?” asked Dina.

“Not very long at all.” 

“You guys can’t be serious,” you said, nervous laughter catching in your chest. “Do you seriously mean that Terranova isn’t going to be around for much longer? Is that what you’re saying?”

Petra shrugged and stood up. “Believe whatever you want. But from where I stand, it looks like there’s only two possible ways out of this situation. That is, unless you guys all become farmers.”

“I don’t think I’m following,” you said.

“Two options,” Petra said, sighing heavily. “Either we starve or we don’t. And the latter means taking a really big fucking chance on what we bring in.”

“But the system has worked for so long,” you said, more to yourself than anyone else. 

“Too long,” she amended. “It was never sustainable. Maybe if you people had been okay with just eating native plants and wildlife. Maybe if you people were okay with changing your way of life. But no, you just had to have your fucking oranges from Florida and your coffee from South America.” 

“Don’t lump me into this,” said Dina. “I just got here.” 

Petra laughed, but it was a hard and sharp sound. “Well, chances are you won’t be here for long.”

“Hang on,” you said. “We’re still doing quality control inspections. The most likely scenario is that we’re going to have to cut down on imports—not that we’re about to go up in flames any minute.”

“I hope you’re right about that,” she said in that voice that told you that she thought that you definitely weren’t and didn’t see the point in arguing further. “Anyways, I’ve got to finish working so I can get home before dark. Be careful, okay?” 

“You too,” you said. “And thanks for…not saying anything.”

It was a bit presumptuous considering that Petra hadn’t really given you any good reason beyond her word that she wouldn’t mention you lurking in your father’s cabinets, so you and Dina were thorough in carefully placing each file back into the correct place, just in case. 

“Do you really think what she said is true?” you asked once you and Dina had located the watch and were on the metro once again.

Dina shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense.”

“Does it?”

“Look,” said Dina. “I know that this might be hard for you to hear, but I’m pretty sure this place lives off of what’s basically slave labor. If there’s any humanity left in the world, I would like to think that Terranova would eventually fall.” 

You swallowed hard, then blinked. For a moment you thought you were going to throw up. “I never knew. I didn’t realize.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Dina’s voice was surprisingly patient. “You were a kid. But you’re not anymore, so it’s time to grow up and face the music.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either.” 

The two of you fell into a silence as the train sped past empty platforms bathed in shadows and you thought and thought and thought. 

There was just too much happening today. First Gunther’s lab, then Ellie, now your entire worldview toppling. 

As the train windows continued to blur the background of the tunnels and empty stations, your mind spun with reflections of your childhood—of you enjoying simple luxuries that you didn’t realize came at the expense of others. That you didn’t even think to ask about. You’d mindlessly trudged along, eating your exotic fruits and drinking your expensive tea and wearing clothes built from indulgent fabrics just because you could. Even when Dina had asked where the oranges came from all the way back in Jackson, you hadn’t let yourself wonder. You hadn’t let yourself consider the possibility that it was anything less than the sanitized fairyland that you’d been brought up in—perhaps because you knew all along. 

And that made it even worse.

Dina seemed to understand, sending you a few glances without prodding. 

“Do you think we need to leave?” you asked, your voice just barely a whisper.

“Us leaving isn’t going to do anything,” Dina said, like she’d been expecting it. “And how would we even do that? It’s not like we can just charter a helicopter again to drop us off back in Jackson.” 

Something twisted inside of you. “Oh, God. You’re right. We couldn’t even leave if we tried.”

And you might have to try, a sinister voice inside you whispered. What if Petra was right about the contaminated products? What if they missed something when checking imports?

You’d never been taught how quickly the fungus spread in the original outbreak, and you knew little about the normal amount of time it would take any sort of disease to infect the entire population. But you did know how densely populated everything was. How reliant everything was on a few strictly maintained channels, like public transportation. 

It wouldn’t be hard for it to all come crashing down, really. It would just take the right place at the right time and—

“Don’t freak out, Y/N.” Dina laid a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll figure something out if it comes to that.” 

You smiled at her, grateful that you didn’t even have to put your words into thoughts. “But if we can’t leave, what do we do? It’s not like we can just sit by and do nothing.”

Dina pulled her bottom lip under her teeth, worrying it before answering. “I don’t really think that we have a choice. Right now, at least. I don’t know if there’s anything that just the two of us can do.”

“I’ll find more,” you said. “I’ll talk to my professors—my friends at university—Simon—”

“Do you think that we’re the only two that know about this?” asked Dina. “Because I really don’t. Maybe your friends don’t. But anyone in the military and anyone who was around when this was founded has got to know. They just don’t care enough.”

Something slowly iced over inside of you as the implications sunk in. 

Gunther had probably known. No, scratch that—he definitely did. He was an academic who had been in his 30s when the world fell apart. Any adult would have asked the same questions that Dina had upon arrival. 

“We’ll figure something out, I’m sure,” said Dina firmly. “Okay? Don’t worry.” 

“Speaking of Simon,” you said, narrowing your eyes, “Did you ever get in touch with him? Is his family okay?” 

“Oh, yeah.” said Dina. “He texted me back a bit ago. Said something about how he was just busy and that his family had been camping up in the mountains.” 

You two faded into silence. 

The retirement party came and went without much trouble. On the outside, at least. You were a mental wreck, barely able to keep it together as near strangers came up to you and expressed how much bigger you were since they’d seen you a decade and a half ago. 

You noted with muted suspicion that Simon’s parents were nowhere to be seen amongst the crowd, not even by the lavishly decorated bar. 

~

That night, you did dream of Ellie. It wasn’t the usual. Ellie wasn’t turning in front of you or bleeding or crying out in pain with a bite mark on her arm. She wasn’t yelling at you for failing her and letting her get bitten without even noticing. No; instead, she lay beside you in your meadow spot and talked to you.

And somehow that was so much worse.

“I named a planet after you,” you said, feeling hot tears pool at the seams of your eyes that you squeezed together to avoid sobbing. You knew you were dreaming. You always knew you were dreaming—seeing Ellie always seemed to prompt a degree of lucidity that was otherwise missing in your sleep. 

“That’s really fucking sappy of you.”

“I miss you.” It came out like a compulsion, like you couldn’t stop it. “Are you here? Are you with me?”

“Y/N,” Ellie said, turning to look at you. The darkness made it difficult to see her whole face, but you could see the look of pity on her features in the gray-blue of the moonlight. “Of course I’m not here. Don’t be stupid. I’m dead.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re not. Like, if something happened.”

“Something did happen. I died.” 

“Fuck you.”

She smiled sadly, and for a moment you thought her eyes looked more reflective than usual. “It’s not very helpful to think that way. And what can I tell you? I’m not even real.”

“I’d like you to try,” you whispered.

“Fine.” She sat up, pulling her legs into a lazy tangle as she looked at you. “What did you seriously expect, dude? You were never going to stay. I wasn’t going to go. If I hadn’t been bitten, I’m sure I would’ve orchestrated some way to get out of it. My family is back in Jackson. I liked you just fine, but you’re not my family. That shit’s deeper. Different.” 

You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. The sharp pain in your chest faded into a cold sense of familiarity. Then, because she wasn’t real and there was no reason to feel embarrassed about bearing your emotions: 

“You feel more like family than anyone here.” 

“Then that sounds like a you problem,” said Ellie, flatly. “I’m not gonna let you guilt trip me like this. Boo fucking hoo, you grew up richer than everyone else on Earth and had to deal with strict parents. Do you realize what actual, real problems are? What about the people who make your lifestyle possible, huh? What about them?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Then you’re fucking stupid.” 

The tears were streaming freely down your face now. “I would do anything to be back with you. I wanted to stay. I miss you so much. I don’t know what to do with myself without you.”

“And I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” 

“Will you just say that you miss me too? You don’t have to mean it. I just want—I just want to hear it.” 

“I can’t miss you. I’m not around anymore.” 

Ellie watched as you curled in on yourself and sobbed so hard you thought you were going to be sick. 

“You’re so weak,” she said after a few minutes. There was no venom in her tone. It was as if she was merely relaying something as inconsequential as the weather to you. “All you do is expect other people to care for you.” 

Not real. Not real. Not real you repeated to yourself in your mind with growing franticness. 

She wasn’t real. None of this was real. Ellie was never that affectionate with you, but this was another level. This was something personal. 

“You said that being weak isn’t bad.”

“And you said that you were going to make sure I was going to get to Terranova.”

 “And it’s not my fault that you decided to go gallivanting alone in the woods.”

“You could’ve tried harder.”

“I did as much as I could.”

“Sure you did.” 

You bolted awake. The hair at the nape of your neck was wet with the slick of sweat. For a moment, you let yourself catch your breath, reorient yourself in your surroundings. 

Your room. You were in your dorm room, with your space posters and your books. Ellie hadn’t been here. She hadn’t said that. You were okay.

A blaring noise jarred you as you realized that your alarm had made you wake up. Your alarm, because it was graduation day and you needed to be ready for a full day of festivities. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, scrubbing your face with you hands. The last thing you wanted to do after this was have to see your parents and pretend like you like them for appearances. 

She's gone. She's gone. She's gone you repeated in your head like a mantra. It was over. You shouldn’t have named that stupid planet after her, because she was gone and she always would be.

It would only be a matter of time until your parents would start asking you about your dating life, you realized as you brushed your teeth over the shiny white basin of your sink, the minty bubbles making your lips tingle. They’d been willing to entertain your reasoning of wanting to focus on your studies while you were at university, but you knew they’d been looking for prospective engagements behind your back.

It took you longer than usual to get ready, your mind wandering as you lingered in different corners of your apartment. You kept the lights off, opting to let the cool, gray daylight from the gloomy clouds wash the surfaces of your room. 

“Hey,” said Dina, appearing from her own room and leaning against the doorframe. 

“Good morning,” you greeted blandly, your attention on the necklace that just wouldn’t clasp around your neck.

“Looking spiffy,” she said. “By the way, did Simon say anything to you?” 

“No.” You paused and turned to her, a frown on her face. As far as you were concerned, you really had no reason to be in contact with Simon beyond the general pleasantries. 

“He just called me,” said Dina. “He seemed—I dunno. Like, weirdly frantic. He was saying that we need to stop by his.” 

“His” was inconveniently on the opposite side of the city, even further past your parents’ place. 

“Why? Pretty far for a short jaunt.” 

“He was really insistent,” pressed Dina. Her long black curls were unruly, her skin sallow in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. She hadn’t been sleeping as well recently, it seemed, just like you since you’d spoken to Petra. “Maybe we should just stop by.” 

“Did he say anything about why?”

“I tried to ask,” said Dina, frowning. “But the call dropped.”

“I hate how horrible service is in your room,” you said. 

“Me too. Anyway, are we gonna see him?” 

You shrugged. “I guess. We have some time. I’ll text him too just to see what’s going on.” 

Dina was ready in just a few minutes, pulling a light blue sweatshirt over her shirt and stepping into her shoes. 

“You look soooo cute,” she said, pinching your cheeks. “My little grad.”

You rolled your eyes, but the size of your smile ruined it. 

For once in your life, you noticed that the university green outside of your apartment was suspiciously empty. 

“Quiet,” Dina noted as you made your way to the metro. “It’s eerie.” 

“People were probably partying all night,” you said. “Celebrating graduation and whatnot. I imagine everyone’s sleeping off a hangover instead of having to get up at the crack of dawn to voyage across the city.”

Dina held up her hands. “Gee. Sorry.” 

The train was a little more populated. Some older Terranovans had newspapers cracked as they licked their fingers to turn the page. The silent hum of the train lulled you into another soliloquy as the tunnel plunged you into darkness.

You had to stop thinking about Ellie. You needed to move on, as awful as it was. You’d named a planet after her. She’d be forever remembered in the stars, and that should be enough. You didn’t need to keep dragging her memory behind you like a corpse, because she was dead and she was never coming back and she was—

On the platform?

Your mouth dropped as the doors of the train slowly rolled open to reveal a short girl with shoulder length auburn hair slowly ambling towards the platform. She was wearing a pale green short sleeve that had some sort of edgy spatter pattern on it—something that was very Ellie-esque. But something wasn’t…

It took you one breath to notice that neither of her bare arms had any tattoos. It took you another to see that what you had initially assumed to be a pattern was actually blood-soaked fabric formed from red rivelets that trickled from a wound on her neck.

“Holy fuck,” you whispered, grabbing Dina’s hand. “Do you see—”

“Everybody run!” Dina screamed, leaping up from the train seat and dragging you with her as she bolted off the train and to the opposite exit. 

The girl wailed and barrelled towards the train car, her eyes locking onto the nervous movement of the passengers. You froze. It was slowly becoming obvious that this wasn’t Ellie, from the slightly different set of her eyes to the unfamiliar button nose. But it was hard to not feel anything but sympathy for the monster before you. She was just a girl, probably younger than you. 

“Fucking go, Y/N,” Dina snapped, yanking you harder and onto the platform just as Not-Ellie leapt onto one of the newspaper readers. “It’s not her.” 

She didn’t need to tell you twice. In seconds you two had sprinted to the mouth of the stairs, feet pummeling against the pavement as the sounds of the carnage unfolding behind you followed. 

You ran. You didn’t stop running, not even when the screams faded and you and Dina were blocks and blocks away, hidden in an alley. Not even when your lungs were so empty and sore that they felt like they were breaths away from breaking, not even when you were sure there was nothing left inside you.

Dina kept your pace, blindly following your lead as you darted in between streets and side alleys until you reached your parents’ apartment. 

“Do you think there’s more?” you managed to whisper through heaving voices once you stood on the steps. 

You and Dina hadn’t ran into anyone after the metro, undead or alive. 

“Not here,” hissed Dina. “Inside first. Then we evaluate after we’re safer.” 

For a moment, the phantom dread from your normal life spilled over and you were afraid of facing your parents. It was almost laughable—there were deranged infected hosts looking to eat your flesh roaming the streets, and you were worried about seeing your parents. 

“I’d almost prefer out here, too,” said Dina, looking as if she’d read your mind. 

The apartment complex was also empty and eerily quiet as you two ascended the steps. Dina had insisted that you took the stairs, pointing out that the elevator was far too risky. 

“It might get stuck,” she’d whispered as she’d pulled you away from pressing the button. “Also—unnecessary noise.” 

You nodded wordlessly, following her up the steps until you reached the top floor.

Still no one to be seen.

The spare key was still hidden under the flower pot, and the penthouse door swung open easily. You and Dina locked it behind you before dragging a small bookcase in front of it, piling on books until no one could physically break through. 

“Sweep the apartment,” Dina said lowly, reaching over to grab the fireplace poker that was in the entryway. “Behind me until you get a weapon.” 

For a few tense moments, you cowered behind Dina as she navigated you both into the dark, empty kitchen. Every breath that left your lips was shaky and uneven. Your fingers trembled around the handle of the butcher’s knife that you’d retrieved from the block. 

Nothing was on the first floor. 

Nothing on the second floor, either. There was no sign of your parents anywhere. By all accounts, it seemed that they’d just up and left for coffee. Which is probably what they’d done, given that your father had just retired and had nothing better to do. 

“Fucking thank god,” you’d cried out once you’d swept the last room, collapsing onto the sitting room sofa. “Jesus Christ, Dina. What the fuck. I can’t believe I just—”

The words petered out as the adrenaline rush that had been keeping you at least someone composed dissipated, leaving you a shaking and inconsolable mess. 

“We’re so lucky that we got out in time,” said Dina, her eyes blurry and unfocused.

You took a break from your crying to look at her. “What?”

“The doors close automatically,” she said flatly. “No motion sensor. If that girl had shown up any later—if we hadn’t noticed her in time—”

“We would’ve been stuck on the train with her,” you said, cold realization trickling into you. “Oh my god. That probably happened to the people on the train who weren’t quick enough.”

“Or didn’t know any better,” Dina added. “Didn’t you say that no one here really understands what the infection is? That it makes people hosts?” 

Your heart dropped. “We’re so fucked. We need to get out.” 

“Have a plane anywhere?”

“Oh, god, Simon,” you wailed. “He was probably—he must’ve known—his parents must have—”

“Let’s not dwell,” said Dina firmly, brushing her hands off on her pants. “Okay. Let’s take inventory of the situation. That girl likely wasn’t patient zero. Wherever she came from was around…8th street?” 

You nodded.

“Right. 8th street, which is where the majority of non-student residential living spaces are. Chances are that if it wasn’t already, it’s all over that area. We came south, which is away from the most densely populated area and probably why we haven’t seen anyone else. We’re up high with what seems to be currently running water, no current activity in the building, and plenty of both perishable and nonperishable food. 

“But this isn’t permanent. The power grid is going to fail soon, and plumbing is likely going to go next. And if we somehow make it long enough, any infected in the building are going to turn into clickers, and they’ll stop at nothing to get in. Our window is limited. If we wait to get out, they’re going to get stronger and grow in numbers. We need to play this right.”

“So what you’re saying is that if there’s any possible chance of escape,” you said, feeling the blood drain from your face, “That we need to take it.”

Dina nodded, her face hard. 

“How long do you think we have until we have to make that choice?” 

She winced. “Probably 2 hours ago. There’s likely enough infected scattered around the city after the metro incident that it’s all over now.”

Your stomach dropped. 

“But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try,” said Dina. “It’s only going to get worse the longer we wait. So if that big fancy scientist brain of yours has any genius plans of how to get us out, please hurry it up and say so.” 

“Well,” you said, your mouth dry as you brainstormed aloud, “We are at the southern tip of the city. We’re probably not all that far from the border. The problem would be getting across—and, of course, getting there in the first place. It’s designed to be deceptive so that raiders can’t find it.” 

“We’re not going to cross the border,” said Dina. “We’re never getting across on foot unless it’s been destroyed. Simon told me about how it works. There’s quite literally zero chance unless we start tunneling underground.” 

“So no crossing on foot,” you said weakly. “Noted. Well. Uh. Can you fly a plane?”

“Depends. Do you have one?” 

You buried your face in your hands. 

“Come on, Y/N. Think. There has to be another option.” 

Another option. Another option. Think, think, think…

Scientist brain. Science. 

Like your degree. Like the lab you’d been working in last year. Like the ill-fated experiment that you’d scrapped after the university cut funding for it after your accident.

Like the time that you’d actually succeeded in inventing teleportation, even if it was accidental.

Like the contraption that was likely gathering dust in an unlocked lab room just a few blocks away. 

“Dina,” you said, “I’ve got it. But I need you to get me to Gunther’s lab.” 

The only good thing about today was the fact that Gunther’s lab, which was normally an inconvenient train ride away from your apartment, was in fact within perfectly reasonable walking distance from your parents’. 

There were many bad things, though. Namely the infected now roaming the streets. And the plumes of smoke rising in the distance, suggesting that the Terranovan authorities were attempting to quell the issue the old-fashioned way. 

With two knives and a pistol in your hand (you’d never been more happy to see something actually useful in your father’s antique collection), you were at least feeling more prepared to slowly creep back down the staircase of the building and out onto the streets. 

For the first two blocks, everything remained uneventful. You and Dina stuck close to the shadows, being careful not to speak, make any noise, or bump into anything noisy. 

Then a girl that looked somewhat familiar to you came stumbling around the corner, cloudy orange saliva dripping from her ashen lips. She locked onto you and began to excitedly chitter, her jerky movements becoming more pointed as she started approaching. 

“Knife,” Dina whispered, flicking your arm once she saw you raise your pistol. “Too loud.” 

It was your first kill without the help of a bullet. As the blade slid across the throat of the girl, you realized where you recognized her from—she’d been one of the students you’d tutored back in high school. You’d always liked her. Her name had been Liesel, and she was one of your best pupils. She’d been so bright. You thought she’d end up skipping senior year and just coming with you to college. 

Not anymore. You tried not to think too hard about the look you’d seen in her eyes right as you severed her carotid artery—something human, something cognisant. You couldn’t cope with what that implied. 

Did Ellie look like that? No, surely not. It’d been over a year. She was likely a clicker by now, her freckled face entirely swallowed by the spore shards. But was she still in there, like Liesel had been?

The next ones were easier—random men whose eyes remained flat and flinty even as you sent them to their ends. By the time you and Dina had broken into Gunther’s lab, you were splattered in blood and assorted mystery fluids. 

The sterile building was empty and deathly silent. Each step on the tiled floor echoed, the fluorescent lighting painfully bright. 

“Are there any workers in here usually?” Dina asked, her voice low. 

“Rarely,” you whispered back. “It’s normally totally empty beside me or Gunther.”

“I hope you’re right.” 

A long screeching that sounded like it came from a few doors down made you freeze.

“Let’s move,” Dina said under her breath. “I don’t want to find out who that is.” 

Gunther’s lab was nearly just as you remembered it. The only difference was the missing files on his desk, which suggested that he’d taken his work home with him. 

As you’d hoped, the prototype you’d developed in your third year was under a white sheet, almost entirely untouched. 

“This is what sent you to Jackson?” Dina whispered in wonder, her fingers hovering over the wires but not daring to touch.

In actuality, it was a very small contraption, just transistors and gates and wires that crossed over each other like veins. It had been intended for use on laboratory rats. It’d never been sized to people. But if this was your only shot…

“I can’t remember exactly what Gunther and I did to—”

Scratchhhhhh.

Your blood ran cold. Something was outside the door. 

“I’ll cover it,” said Dina, her voice firm. Don’t worry.”

And you wouldn’t—not when there was one zombie against you and Dina, armed to the teeth.

“Uh, anyway—” You blinked as you stared down at the mess of wires. “Technically what happened was it short-circuit—”

Scratch scratch scratch

You gulped. “Um, like I was saying, it short—”

Scratchscratchscratchscratch

To punctuate the point, the door creaked and shifted. 

Dina pressed her finger to her lips as she slowly crept over to the door, standing on her toes to look through the thin strip of plexiglass that ran across the top of the door. 

For a moment, you thought that she’d frozen. Then she quietly stepped over to the desk, snatched the pen Gunther had lying around, and scribbled something onto it. She handed it to you, her finger still posed over her lips. 

7 of them. All big. I think they followed us from the street.

Just as you finished reading it, the doorknob began to turn, back and forth and back and forth against the lock. 

Dina pulled the note from your fingers to scribble something else out. 

Don't say anything. Noise will send them into a feeding frenzy. Door won't hold long. Do whatever you need to fix it and get us out.

You nodded, your heart crawling in your throat. If you couldn’t figure out how to fix this in time…Gunther’s lab was on the 6th floor. 

There were only 3 bullets in the pistol—you’d checked. And a kitchen knife was fine when you were out on the street facing one infected at a time, but 7 in an enclosed space was different.

You probably weren’t going to get out of here alive. 

Not unless you pulled it together right now. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you tried to run through all possible ways to recreate the conditions that had sent you to Jackson. You needed that special iridescent wire, which you could see shoved into the corner. You needed a power source. You needed a working circuit board. 

You had all of it. You could do this. 

SIlently, you retrieved the spool of wire and began reattaching it to the board in the pattern you vaguely recalled from your work. 

The lights flickered above, and it was all you could do to keep yourself from swearing out loud. 

The power needed to hold. It needed to hold for just one more minute, just for a moment while you finished configuring the—

Your hand knocked the spool to the floor.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The thudding started slower but crescendoed into the sound of groaning wood as the infected outside began to pound at the door. 

Dina waved a slip of paper in front of you with wide eyes that said Hurry the FUCK up!. 

You sent her a desperate look back. Your hands were shaking so hard that it was a miracle you were even able to feed the end of the wire through the pliers to snap off the end. You dug your nails into the protective sleeve at the end to expose the tip of the wire.

The door held just until you plugged the wire into the input. 

As it hummed to life, sputtering and sparking and shimmering in the air, the lights flickered once, then plunged you into darkness as the sound of wood splintering came from the door. 

Someone—it was probably you—screamed as a crowd came barrelling through the door, all hunched shoulders and gaping maws. 

Then you grabbed the hand of Dina and felt yourself tumble into nothingness. 

~

The sky was clear and bluebell blue above you when you came to, your back pressed uncomfortably against the sun-warmed earth. Every part of you ached like you’d just been run over, just like it had that day one year ago that started it all.

You didn’t need to look around to confirm—you were certain of where you were. You just knew it. 

A groaning sound made you shoot up, clutching at the pistol in your hand. 

Dina was sprawled on the ground next to you, rubbing her forehead with her hands. 

“We did it,” you said, astonished. “We actually did it. We got out.” 

“And you launched us out to Jackson.” Dina was sitting up now, looking around with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ. Are those things coming with us?”

“I don’t think so,” you said blandly. Your hands were still shaking, just as they had in the lab moments before. 

The backpack you’d packed with supplies lay strewn on the ground, covered in the dust of the clearing. 

“Are we—”

“I think so,” you said. “Funny how it sent us to the same place it sent me. I guess we’ll never figure out how, though.”

“Yeah.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you acclimated to the bright Wyoming sun, the warmth of the air against your skin.

Your heart lurched as the implications sunk in. Now that you couldn’t pretend like Jackson had been some sort of distant memory, you were going to mourn Ellie all over again whether you liked it or not. 

“It’s going to be weird without her.” Dina was apparently on the same page. 

You choked back the sob that came up, rubbing your eyes angrily. You would not cry right now, not when you had more important things to attend to. 

“She really did love you, you know,” Dina continued, also apparently oblivious to the fact that you were just barely holding it together. “Even if she never said it. I’ve never seen her like that around anyone. I hope you haven’t been beating yourself up over what happened.”

You sent her a tight smile. It was odd, talking about Ellie like this with her. You’d never had before. It was one of those topics that you both knew to just avoid. “I just hope Joel is alright. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be—losing two daughters just like tha—”

A twig snapping in the woods sent you into silence, your hand drifting back down to your pistol as you spun around.

For a moment, all you could hear was the breath that hitched in both your and Dina’s throat. Then a girl with short brown hair burst through the tree line, her gun set on you. 

“Ellie?” you gasped. 

She fell still, mouth agape and eyebrows nearly touching her hairline.

“Ellie, what the fuck?” said Dina, recovering much quicker than you. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I—” Ellie dropped her pistol so it pointed to the ground, staring at Dina incredulously. “What are you doing here?” Then she rounded on you. “What did you do? You promised to stay in Terranova.” 

You couldn’t answer. You were just so starstruck that all you could was stare, taking in everything about her. She was certainly Ellie—with her stupid little flashlight on her backpack strap and her fern tattoo and the perpetual grumpiness etched on her face. It was strange to think that you could have mistaken anyone else for her.

“Well?” she pressed, stepping closer, her mouth in a hard line. 

“Terranova fell. It’s gone. I did what I had to do to get us out.” The words came out quietly. Then, without thinking: “You’re alive.” 

“Long story,” said Ellie. “I think the scanner was defective.” 

“That sounds like a pretty short story.”

She stared at you with an expression of such odd devastation that you felt your heart drop.

Dina jumped to her feet and launched herself at Ellie, throwing her arms around her neck and laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe it. I just—I just—you’re alive. I’m so glad you’re alive.” 

Ellie, for her part, stood mostly still, awkwardly patting Dina on the back until she was released. “I’m glad you are, too.”

You tried not to feel jealous, but it was hard not to. Dina could jump into Ellie’s arms and tell her nice things like that without having to think twice because they’d always been friends. You did, because you weren’t sure if Ellie would want that anymore. 

You didn’t try to touch her as she walked you and Dina back. She followed suit, not even trying to speak to you. 

By the time you were walking through the walls of Jackson and waving to the gaping passerbys who were shocked at your return, you felt like you were going to be sick. 

Ellie was alive. She’d never been dead, and you’d left her out here while you and Dina got to eat fancy Brazilian chocolates and Floridian oranges and artisanal bread. You’d been actively trying to forget her instead of trying to find her.

And now she was here, next to you. And she didn’t seem even remotely interested in you. But could you blame her? It had been a year. You’d left her to come back to Jackson all by herself. She didn’t have any reason to wait around for you. She’d probably found someone else. Or gotten back together with Cat.

And who were you to think that she’d even be interested in you if there wasn’t the guaranteed casualness from a definite end date? 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Joel appeared on the front porch as you and Dina approached with Ellie flanking you, his eyes wide. 

“Joel!” you cried out, your angst briefly forgotten. 

His eyes darted between the three of you, his face awash with shock. “Did ya just get sick of living there or something?”

You looked down and surveyed your outfit. You were clearly wearing something that was intended to be formal—a flowing graduation dress—but you were splattered with blood and viscous mystery substances and covered in a healthy layer of dirt. You’d clearly gone through some shit. 

You were struggling to come up with a response other than “hey” when you were reminded of something you’d shoved into your bag while you’d been preparing to leave your parents’ penthouse. 

Feeling smug that you’d managed to remember, you reached into your pack and fished around until you found what you were looking for.

“We just figured you’d be almost out of this by now,” you said dryly. The value-sized bag of coffee beans dangled from your fingers, its maroon packaging catching in the sun. 

His face split into a wide grin as he shook his head in disbelief. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I guess I’ve got to tell Tommy that we don’t have to ration anymore. C’mon, let’s get you settled.”

~

Joel insisted that you move back into your old room instead of the vacant cottage down the street, which was equal parts touching and equal parts terrifying. Ellie lingered by the doorway as you unpacked, disappearing down the hall when you finally lifted your head from your few belongings to say something to her. 

You let out a long, labored exhale, dropping onto your bed and curling your knees up to your chest. You’d since changed and showered the dirt and blood off, shed your tattered graduation dress and left it gathered in the corner like a snake’s molt. The setting sun filtered through the curtains, turning the walls golden. 

You didn’t know what to do. That you could even come back to Jackson had been a thought you hadn’t dared to consider until this morning, when there were no other options. That Ellie was still alive—well, you hadn’t had any time to strategize or plan for that one. You were still reeling from seeing her for the first time in a year, all summer freckles and flyaway hairs escaping from a loose hairband.

She’d looked even better than you’d remembered. There were certain parts of her that you realized you’d forgotten—like the scar on her eyebrow, the way her voice sounded. It made you feel nauseous, knowing that despite your best efforts, you hadn’t been able to keep the real Ellie alive in your head. 

You’d already eaten something with Tommy and Maria, who had been insistent on hearing from you and Dina about the events in Terranova. Joel had left you to your own devices with instructions to see him tomorrow to figure out work after you’d had a decent rest, so there was really no reason to go roaming around hoping to run into Ellie. 

But you really wanted to. You checked the clock again, seeing that it was already past 9. Dusk had already fallen upon Jackson, the setting sun now just a suggestion of a golden line on the horizon.

You had a feeling you knew where she was. 

The meadow was just as lush and green as you remembered as your feet carried you across the grass. It seemed that really nothing had changed—except for the horses in the distance, where you could see a small foal beside a chestnut mare that you were pretty sure was Shimmer. 

“Hi,” you said, settling down next to Ellie’s spot under the tree. 

If she was surprised to see you, she didn’t show it. She just sighed and fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt. 

“Hi.” 

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” you said, keeping your eyes locked on the darkening sky. “I just wanted to come find you to tell you that I understand if you don’t—want me like that anymore. I’ll leave you alone if you want me to.” 

Even when she took her time responding, you didn’t dare look her way. 

“Is that what you want?” You couldn’t quite decipher the tone she’d used. 

“Obviously not,” you said mildly. “I would never want that.” 

“I wouldn’t either.” 

Your breath caught in your throat, your gaze dropping to meet hers. You were just about to speak when—

“The scanner wasn’t defective,” said Ellie. Her voice was soft, her own eyes falling to look at her tattooed arm. 

“Of course it was,” you said, feeling very confused as to why she was suddenly detouring into something so unrelated. “If it wasn’t, you’d be dead already.” 

“I’ve been bitten twice.”

You blinked, sure you’d heard her incorrectly. “Sorry?” 

“I’ve been bitten twice,” said Ellie again, this time with more conviction. “That’s why the scanner came back red. There was nothing wrong with it.” 

“Then how…” Your words trailed off. 

She didn’t let you ponder long. “I’m immune.” 

Immune. 

You closed your mouth—it’d been hanging open unceremoniously for a moment—and tried to fit this very startling fact in with everything else you knew about her. What did being immune mean? And why was she telling you now?

“You knew from the start that you couldn’t come with me to Terranova,” you realized aloud. 

Ellie was gnawing at her bottom look as she looked back at you. You noted that she didn’t offer up any corrections. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You couldn’t hide the hurt in your voice. “Why did you lie to me like that?” 

“I found out that I was immune when I was back in Boston,” Ellie said, the words spilling out of her. “I was in this abandoned mall with my best friend—Riley. She told me she was leaving to be a Firefly, and I begged her to stay and kissed her and for a moment I was so sure that something was going to change between us—something for the better. But then…” She waved her tattooed arm in front of her. “We both got bit. I survived. She, obviously, did not.”

Something deep inside you twisted as you tried to imagine how traumatizing that must’ve been for someone that couldn’t have been older than 14. 

“And so I thought that maybe, you were my chance to right what I’ve done wrong,” continued Ellie. Even though she wasn’t looking at you anymore, you could see the reflective sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’ve gotten to live while so many other people have died. I just can’t handle another. It’s not fair of me to keep someone here when there’s somewhere safer for them. It’s selfish, and I’ve been that enough.”

It was as if you’d found the last puzzle piece for the jigsaw of Ellie Williams. All this time, you’d been struggling in your attempts to understand why she was pushing you away—and why she changed her mind so suddenly. 

Now you got it. Ellie had come into this knowing that she’d likely never see you again. She’d been betting on it, even. It was all some convoluted way for her to set things right in her head, for her to forgive herself for Riley and whoever else she’d lost. 

“You could have told me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I would have understood.” 

Ellie sent you a sad smile, shaking her head. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone that I’m immune. It’s one of those things that only Joel and Maria and Tommy know about. No one else. They’d fucking kill me if they found out you knew.” 

“I’m really sorry.” The fabric of her t-shirt was soft under your fingers as you rested a hand on her shoulder. 

“I’m really sorry for how much of an asshole I was to you,” said Ellie. You didn’t miss the way her eyes had widened when you’d reached out to touch her. “I didn’t want to be that way. I always wanted more. I just couldn’t handle having that, knowing that you were going to leave anyway. I thought it’d be easier for the both of us if you thought I was awful.”

“Didn’t work very well.”

“Clearly.”

“I forgive you,” you said, moving your hand so you could thread your fingers into the loose strands that she hadn’t pulled into that baby bun she always wore. 

Instead of kissing you like you thought she might, she threw her arms around you and crushed herself against you, burying her face into your neck.

You held her there, feeling the way her frame trembled under the weight of a sob and tracing patterns across her back. 

“I missed you,” you whispered, your chin rested atop her shoulder. “I thought about you every day.”

Ellie clung to you harder as you shifted.

“I’m really sorry,” she said again, muffled against your neck. “I’m sorry for everything.” 

“I’m not.” You finally pulled away so that she had to look you in the eyes. Under the soft bath of moonlight, her green eyes glowed. “Terranova shouldn’t have existed in the first place. I’m glad that I got out. And I’m even more glad that it brought me back to you.” 

Her hand found yours, your fingers tangling.

“I used to spend all my free time wondering what you were doing up North,” said Ellie. You felt her thumb brush across the top of your hand. “I thought that maybe if I imagined you happy, it’d be easier.”

“What did you think I was doing?” 

The corner of her mouth quirked up. “Lots of studying, I assumed. And going to fancy events for rich people, eating all that expensive shit that the rest of the world can’t have.” 

“Not far off,�� you admitted. “But you missed how much time I’d spend wondering about you. I dreamt about you all the time. Sometimes I’d see people who looked similar to you and it’d ruin my whole day. I couldn’t believe that you were gone. I think that deep down I knew that you weren’t.” 

She squeezed your hand. When you looked down at where you were touching, you noted how there wasn’t such a stark difference between you and her anymore. The doll fresh-out-of-the-box skin had disappeared in favor of scars and marks collected from your time in the real world. 

“I really thought you’d be safe there,” said Ellie. 

“You don’t need to worry about me like that anymore,” you told her, cupping her face with your free hand. Her eyelids fluttered half-closed as she leaned into the contact. “You’ve done enough. You can care about me without taking responsibility for everything bad that ever happens to me. You deserve to have something good without suffering because of it. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Not anymore,” she agreed. 

When you kissed her, it felt like coming home. There was something so achingly familiar in the slope of her neck, the slight chapped-ness of her lips, the almost silent click of her jaw as her mouth parted with a gasp as your hands twisted in her hair. 

You weren’t quite sure how you managed a year without it. 

The skin of her neck was just as soft as you remembered against your lips, her response just as reactive. 

“What’s this?” you asked, pulling away to point at what looked like a small tattoo on the side of her neck. You hadn’t noticed it before—her hair had been covering it. 

“Oh.” Ellie looked sheepish. “My free birthday tattoo from Cat. It’s the moon.” 

“I see that,” you murmured, brushing her hair back more intentionally to get a better look at it. “Why that phase?” 

“It’s the phase it would’ve been on the day we met,” said Ellie. She was bright red now. “Don’t fucking laugh. I know that it’s stupid. Shut up. Stop!” 

You desperately tried to stop your giggles, schooling your face into something straight and no-nonsense. 

“I spent so long wondering if you even liked me,” you told her. “And now you’ve gone and gotten a tattoo dedicated to me. I feel so validated.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“I have you beat, though,” you said, quieter now. 

She looked back at you, her brows furrowed. “Huh?” 

“When it comes to grand, stupid gestures,” you explained, your finger pointing up to the sky in the general area that you’d collected your data from. “There’s a planet named Ellie up there now.” 

Her jaw dropped for just a moment. “You’re kidding.” 

“No.” Now you were feeling slightly self-conscious. 

“You would do something like that,” Ellie muttered, more to herself than anything. “A whole fucking planet.” 

You let her drape an arm around you, pulling you into her until your head fit into the space between her shoulder and her chin. 

“So,” Ellie said, and you could feel the words vibrate in her diaphragm, “What now?” 

“What do you mean, what now?” 

“I mean, what are you gonna do now that you’re stuck here with me for the foreseeable future?” 

“Enjoy being stuck with you,” you said. “Maybe get a matching tattoo. Give you the piece of the meteorite I nabbed from the display case in my lab. But mostly spend my time bothering you.”

When she didn’t answer, you shifted so you could look up at her. She was already looking back, her eyes soft and the corners of her lips pulling into two dimples. 

“Is that alright with you?’ you ventured.

Her arm tightened around you, fingers gently pressing into the flesh of your forearm like she still couldn’t quite believe you were there. 

“You can be so fucking stupid sometimes,” she said. “I get a tattoo for you and you’re still asking if I want you around.” 

“It’s been known for you to make rash decisions,” you offered dryly. “I didn’t want to jump to any assumptions.”

 She rolled her eyes, still smiling down at you, eyes awash with the reflections of the stars above. 

Slowly, you reached up and touched her face again, letting your fingers relearn her features, tracing the paths created by freckles—just like you had in her bed all those months ago. 

But unlike last time, she didn’t stop you. She didn’t do anything except let you. There was something in her demeanor, something that was fragile and vulnerable and everything that you wanted her to be with you.

“Is this going to be enough for you?” she asked suddenly, her voice raw. 

“What do you mean?” Your fingers paused and rested at her cheekbones.

“It’s just—” She blinked hard and cast her gaze up to the sky. “You grew up so differently than me. I’m not going to be able to give you that fancy Terranova life. Are you sure this is going to make you happy?” 

“Yes.” 

She looked at you, an eyebrow raised skeptically. Your hands moved to cup her face, fingers threading back into her hair. 

“Don’t make that face,” you chided.

“I just find it really hard to believe.” 

You took in a breath. Perhaps more elaboration was in order.

“I’ll put it like this,” you said. “I spent most of my life thinking I needed to be something extraordinary to be happy. I put so much time into trying to be special and nothing I did ever felt like it was enough. But then I met you, and one day I realized while I was here that I didn’t need that anymore. Just being around you makes me more content than I’ve ever been. I don’t want to be like what I was before. I would consider it my greatest success if I got to lead an ordinary life with you.”

You took her brief silence as an opportunity to press your lips to the corner of her mouth.

“Believe me now?” you asked. 

Ellie nodded, leaning in to drop an affectionate kiss at the top of your nose. 

And as you sat there, nestled into the warmth of her side and craning your head up to the sky, you’d never been more sure of yourself. 

This would be more than enough. 

final a/n: ok so some apologies are in order for this one! first of all, sorry for aborting jj lmao. i just couldn't envision doing light speed travel with a baby strapped to dina. big apologies for not including a final smut scene. i actually had one semi-drafted out because i wanted to write one where ellie bottomed bc i feel like it would really hammer in that she was finally choosing to be vulnerable, but the shift in the scene tone just didn't sit right with me. sometimes i write bonus scenes for big fics like this, so if there's enough interest i might write a short one shot of the scene i scrapped/other scenes that i also scrapped. also, speaking of things i scrapped: i had an alternate ending in mind where joel actually did die and ellie went on her seattle rampage + y/n realizes she's alive and tries to sneak out with dina to find her. i might end up writing that one too, depending on interest! anyway, thank you all for coming along on this journey with me so far! it's not totally over yet...the epilogue is still in the works! i appreciate hearing what you guys think of this and hope you all enjoyed !!!

also idk if this is important to bring up but i will say that i didn't realize the kind of message i'd be sending when i wrote a protagonist who's from a place like terranova—exoplanet isn't meant to be some sort of piece that makes you empathize with ignorant beneficiaries of slave labor...it's just the way it shook out and for that i'm sorry 😭

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Anyway here is my aimless, ‘analysis’ on Color and why he lives, why he may seem focused on Killer, but also why that’s just his character to be outwardly focused on others and rarely allowing any bits of his internal self to slip through, likely because he just doesn’t genuinely think of himself outside of anything involving the six human souls and their needs, and doesn’t really expect others to be much interested in him either. He views himself as easily forgettable and replaceable, even as it’s the things he fears and dreads most.

I’m typing as I think so I’ll probably clean it up later if yall don’t understand.

But he also fears failure. Failing to save people, failing to protect them. Saving Killer is something he’d do for anyone, but it also provides a sense of closure for him.

And stuff on my end copy pasted from Discord,

“Also Random kinda unrelated thought but like. maybe like killer, color doesn’t really know what he’s doing with his life either.

I wonder if he expected to die when he absorbed the souls, and then he never expected to get or be free. I wonder how listless he was before meeting killer. was he only living for others.

People say colors character is only about killer but that’s only because 1. Some refuse to look into his AU. And 2. Color didn’t exactly have much of anyone else??

For all intents and purposes his home isn’t his home. He knows them but they don’t know him and he has no reason to live in canon actual animated othertale (where he doesn’t know killer or the epic sanses) besides once again ensuring that they’re all safe from this new threat when we meet him.

(Edited:) It’s even implied he’s only still alive after his last escape attempt, however long ago (since it’s implied that Color has been with Gaster in the Void for like 17-20 years at least), because of Gaster. Either he was trying to kill himself, or he was willing to risk dying.

but once that was gone, what was he going to do. they still don’t know him, anything about him, and he doesn’t know them. They’re so different from how he remembers.

He has no one. They’re alive but they’re not. He’s risked everything for them and he was happy to die doing do so but he didn’t. What’s he supposed to do with himself now. There’s no place for him in the world, and the world doesn’t even seem to want or need him anymore.”

It’s worth noting that Othertale only exists as it does, instead of being normal Undertale, precisely because Sans/Color was kicked out, patched over, forgotten, erased, replaced by Undyne and then it all moved on without him.

So even in my hc that Color leaves Othertale, takes Core Frisk’s offer to join the Omega Timeline, and became Delta’s roommate; he was still at his lowest point, and didn’t even reach anything resembling a high point until meeting Killer.

He can see Killer, but no one else seems to. He wants to help, and he wants to understand. No one else is gonna pursue this, help Killer—those who have tried have failed. He reasons for helping killer are born from moral principles, past experiences, the belief that no one else would (for valid reasons), and even those who don’t even think Killer needs, wants to be, or deserves to be saved.

Similar to Vi from Arcane, who was thrown into prison for her developmental teenage years, coming out not realizing everything has changed, that her sister has changed, and unwilling to accept that powder has grown up and has a new name.

But unlike Vi, who attempts to make everything go back to the way it was, color just..avoids it. Leaves, away from it, goes looking for something new.

His need for something new comes from having spent years in what amounts to basically solitary confinement, where everything was the same over and over, until eventually even the suicide escape attempts and breakdowns became more of the same.

So while Color makes Killer feel wanted, needed, safe, cared for, loved, validated, protected—Killer makes Color feel seen, heard, remembered, important, needed, fascinating, valued. Seen and valued. They make eachother feel understood.

I think similar to Vi, Color is a caretaker, a protector, of individuals and communities he happens to stray into on his wandering trips—he’s terrified of failure, but also craves acknowledgement for what hes always tried his best to do.

If he’s not looking for something new, not wanting to stay in the same place forever, he’s trying to use his life and freedom to give the six kids keeping him alive a second chance at living—he’s not obligated to anyone, unlike Dream is (being a guardian of positivity), he’s just some ridiculously powerful guy. An afterthought in his own story, because it wasn’t his story, but a major part in Killer’s.

He doesn’t help others only because he wants acknowledgement, but also because it’s just what he thinks is right, but having his efforts acknowledged cements that he’s still real, still existing. That he hasn’t been forgotten. And I just think Killer is particularly skilled at making him feel appreciated, and valued.

He’d do it this for everyone in Killer’s place, who asked him for help. He’d help them to the best of his ability, and he wouldn’t ask for or expect anything.

But Killer gives it to him, knowing he’d never ask for it — because he can see Color, and that he likes being seen, and is maybe even suprised that Killer would see him the way he does. And Killer likes seeing Color—would like to see everything about Color. Not just his souls or his code.

Killer makes Color feel like he isn’t just a step outside the rest of world, or like he isn’t a ghost— or more like, killer stepped outside the world with him and joined him there. Color’s eye doesn’t look through Killer, and Killer’s gaze doesn’t drift right over Color.

This is not accounting for the HC that Color and Delta are roommates, of course, which would change some things—mainly in that Delta would’ve seen Color at all his lowest points and would’ve been the one taking care of Color—and a lot of how Color takes care of Killer may even be somewhat inspired by his relationship with Delta, but again that’s hc and im mainly focusing on the bits we have in canon.

I’ll probably expand on this part in a bit, but I think it’d be the Epic Sanses (and maybe even the Abyss Team) that teach Color to live for himself and what he wants—and he goes on to use that to help Killer.

[alexthebordercollie]

Anyone consider that Bill might spend most of his time intoxicated? It occurred to me the other day while writing that he may be one of those people who's basically always drunk, high, or hung over. This is just speculation on my end without a whole lot to go off of but he's drinking when he goes to talk to Ford. He tells his cronies to hide the "time punch" when the cops show up, implying it's some kind of illegal substance. He pressured Ford into drinking with him and gets him wasted. He gets sloppy drunk after the breakup and causes havoc.

I know these are only a few references to alcohol but Bill himself doesn't have a ton of screen time as a character in general. Still, he's established as a nonstop party animal and he clearly likes to drink at parties sooo.... you connect the dots there.

Honestly, I think this headcannon makes a lot of sense. It fits with Bill constantly trying to avoid any sort of self-reflection and drown out his trauma. What better way to avoid thinking about your past than to be perpetually too intoxicated to remember half of it anyway. Hell, his manic behavior could also be partially a result of often being on something. Not just alcohol but, knowing Bill, he probably tries all kinds of crazy shit.

Furthermore, this headcannon adds an extra layer to him losing his mind in the theraprism. On top of everything else, this is possibly the first time he'd been sober (for any prolonged period of time) in thousands of years.

I don't know maybe I'm stating something obvious that other people already picked up on. I guess I picked up on this implication a while ago but it just dawned on me yesterday that he might have been various degrees of drunk or high in most of the scenes we see him and that's a bit of a wild thought to me. Enjoy AA mother fucker.

[hexarchangel]

'Needy Girl Overdose' inspired JayVik streamer AU

(first of all, let me get a couple of things straight: the AU is INSPIRED by NGO in some aspects, but doesn't really follow the plot. I just wanted to explore the topics that appear in the game. also, I neither want to normalize nor romanticize any of the negative topics)

Jayce and Viktor are former partners, but now they barely keep in touch. This is primarily due to Viktor's tendency to self-isolate because of his worsening illness, and Jayce being too busy with work. Jayce, however, feels guilty for leaving Viktor and still unobtrusively tries to offer him any sort of help (which Viktor turns down), hoping it will help them reconnect.

One night, Jayce stumbles upon a streamer who goes by the name HexArchangel. Intrigued by the peculiar name and the stream's title implying a mixture of an average chatting stream and something technology-related, he clicks on it and...

Jayce is unsure at first, trying to blame it on a lack of sleep, but once he hears the voice, he realizes that the man is, indeed, Viktor. His Viktor.

How did he end up like this? Jayce was sure that Viktor wasn't really interested in any social networks, let alone being a content creator. He used to have a Twitter account back in the day, but now it's private, and he hasn't posted anything for years. But anyway, here he is, talking to his followers – so far only a few, compared to someone more popular and experienced, but still, MUCH more than just a few dozen viewers.

Jayce decides to ask him something in chat. Viktor, slightly flustered, seems to recognize Jayce by his username that gives him away rather easily (J-Ace). He brushes it off, however, and treats him like any other viewer.

After the stream, Jayce is tempted to text him but is unsure whether he really should, considering their last conversation was about a month ago, and it was really dry. But on the other hand, what could possibly go wrong if he tried to talk to him once again, right? Nothing, actually.

J: I didn't know you were a streamer now. It almost felt as if I got to talk to you like we did before.

V: Well, you never asked. Thanks. Also, you're not smooth at all, J-Ace.

And just like that, the spark began to ignite again. Jayce becomes Viktor's most loyal viewer, and things between them are slowly getting better. But suddenly, Jayce starts to notice some strange things happening to Viktor: how he's basically controlled by his mod and so-called producer, ReVeritaS; how his well-being keeps sharply shifting from relatively okay to terrible; and how his identity slowly dissolves into HexArchangel.

I may or may not develop the idea further. I just liked it so much I felt like I had to post it somewhere so it doesn't go into the waste of my mind.

I'd like to write a fic like this someday, but who knows, maybe it will inspire someone else to create something else...

[s0lar-ch3ri]

for my friend @marz-likes-palaces on here! (sorry for tagging, just thought maybe youd wanna see this) a full list of all my jrwi fics, their tws and what parts of their campaigns they spoil (as well as how big of spoilers are referenced)

this will be absolutely editted and kept up to date so if you want me to add a fic onto here lmk (im also only counting completed fics unless its a multichapter fic im working on)

also keep in mind, fics will have hc details! just assume whatever i warn for in spoilers is based around canon!

another note, the way i list them is in no specific order, just how i find them and everything!

okay third note, the amount of trigger warnings a fic has may scare some, but i try to tag for anything (even brief and light hearted mentions) of triggering topics. while i have tried to go through and write the tone of each fic, i cannot guess perfectly how someone else may interpret it, keep that in mind!

most recently edited date: 5/5/25

putting them all below the cut cause i write A Lot of fics (if any fics are wanted to be linked, lmk)

EXPLAINING THE SET UP: [fic title]-additional needed info after (ie: if its a multichapter or incomplete, if its whump or hurt/comfort) [ONLY FOR MULTI-CAMPAIGN FICS] campaigns: feels self explanatory, writes which campaigns the characters are from who it involves: does not include mentioned characters or characters that dont play a big part in the fic, for example if a fic has chip and jay and mentions gill, ill only say it involves chip and jay setting ep wise: different from a spoiler warning, gives a setting timeline wise as to what the characters may be like (as well as an idea of what spoilers may be referenced) trigger warnings: self explanatory, if youve read the fic and something needs to be tagged, please do inform me, i cant guess every tw (NOTE: the multichapters, while i dont write many, are structured differently! i list the tws of each chapter as well as tws for throughout the fic!) Spoilers?: mentions around where spoilers are as well as how involved in the story are they (as to let someone know if they can read a story without knowing x and y), including spoilers that are referenced in the fic [NOTE ONLY FOR MULTI-CAMPAIGN FICS: spoilers will be listed separately! (ie: if theres someone from the suckening and from riptide, it would list what spoilers if any are from the suckening then what spoilers if any are from riptide) RIPTIDE:

Different Sensory Feelings-hurt/comfort who it involves: Gillion, Jay, Chip, Pretzel setting ep wise: pre-ep 1, post chip and jay oneshot trigger warnings: implied sensory issues Spoilers?: it does mention parts of Gill's past such as his training experiences, but nothing too big in detail. the most mentioned are things referenced in the jay and chip oneshot, which it is set to pre-ep 1, so fair lmfao, even then though it keeps out a lot of big parts. I'd say minimal to no spoilers!

Pretzel Steps in (to Gillion's Stupidity)-hurt/comfort who it involves: Jay, Pretzel, Gillion setting ep wise: sometime post ep 53/post BLOCK arc trigger warnings: threats of violence occur Spoilers?: this is based sometime after ep 53, and makes reference to a big spoiler, it also references events that occurred in ep 15. basically, 2 big spoilers that provide important context to the fic, do not read without knowing them just in case!

The Accident-hurt/comfort who it involves: Caspian, Gillion setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, sometime after the paramount championship (at minimum, post ep 41) trigger warnings: gillion faces a training injury Spoilers?: Caspian in of himself is a spoiler in a way, being mentioned first in the championship, but if you don't count that, then the references to Gill's training make this minimal to no spoilers!

Unraveled-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Gillion, Chip setting ep wise: pre-ep 1, post chip and jay oneshot trigger warnings: referenced child abuse, implied manipulation, implications of some religious trauma i wanna say, a fight kinda happens, ends with a breakdown Spoilers?: makes heavy references to Gillion's training, it is what the fic is about, and also makes reference to details revealed around ep 70. the big details of Gillion's training are revealed across the faewild arc (75-82), so i'm gonna say this one has major spoilers, and while you don't need to know the exact events to understand what's happening, i will recommend coming back when you understand somewhat of Gill's training!

gillion rambles about his baby girl-fluff who it involves: Gillion, Old Man Earl, Pretzel setting ep wise: most likely sometime after they re-meet Marshal Jon but before the tournament (post ep 25, pre ep 28) trigger warnings: none from what i'm seeing! Spoilers?: to know that they re-meet Marshal Jon is a small spoiler i think, but nothing major or needed to be known, so i count this as a minimal to no spoilers!

Destiny is cruel.-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Gillion, Pretzel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: violence, character death, blood, murder, small emetophobia mentions, self blame, a bit of arguing, and if you read one of the endings i wrote an extra warning of suicide references Spoilers?: there's one minor spoiler which talks about Pretzel, with sources i'm finding it's more or less mentioned by grizzly in his discord, there is also reference to an event with Chip and Gill which is mentioned around ep 15 in one of the alternative endings, but otherwise this is a fic with minimal to no spoilers!

love calls, help me learn to answer-fluff who it involves: Edyn, Chip, Gillion setting ep wise: sometime after meeting Edyn (minimum post ep 63 as they're on the sea again) trigger warnings: references to a drunk marriage Spoilers?: the drunk marriage is a small spoiler for the Loffinlot arc (eps 2-11), and the fact they know Edyn doesn't exactly happen for a while, there is also mentions of another character met during the paramount championship (eps 27-33, if counting La Alma's part then it's from eps 27-38). the biggest spoiler i'd say is referencing an event from the Desire Isle arc (eps 17-25), which isn't too lore important. i know many people don't count characters that much as spoilers and all the event spoilers are pretty minor, so i mark this as minimal to no spoilers!

human research-lighthearted who it involves: Jay, Oliver, Gillion setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, would be post Desire Isle arc as to allow Ollie on their ship (minimum post ep 25, around ep 26 and beyond) trigger warnings: emetophobia mentions from Jay, the fic is focused around Jay being on her period Spoilers?: Oliver is a small character spoiler, but otherwise this would have minimal to no spoilers!

Gill's Greatest Enemy-small hurt/comfort who it involves: Gillion, Oliver, Jay, Chip setting ep wise: post Faewild arc (eps 72-82) trigger warnings: Gillion's trauma is referenced in how he handles his fears, there's small blood mentions from a cat scratch Spoilers?: there's a couple referenced (character mentions, a fact on gill, a duel of friends (ep 15), event mentions, name of crew enemies), and the presence of several characters is quite spoilery, however not needed to get what's happening in the fic! as such, i deem this one minimal to no spoilers!

fates called for the undeserving to punish me-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Oliver, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, like the other one would have to be after the Desire Isle arc (minimum post ep 25) [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: major character death, murder, child death, corpses, and if you read to the added ending disassociating Spoilers?: the biggest spoiler is just Oliver, who's introduced around ep 17, but otherwise this is minimal to no spoilers!

chip is bad with...this-hurt/comfort who it involves: Jay, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, like the last two would be post ep 25 minimally trigger warnings: denial, implied heavy self blame Spoilers?: small references to events that happen in the Liquidus arc (eps 70-72), one event in the Faewild arc (eps 72-82), and characters, but nothing too important to know, as such, the fic is counted as minimal to no spoilers!

fins and why you stopped hiding them-fluff who it involves: Chip, Jay setting ep wise: pre ep-1, post Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: none of note! Spoilers?: i mention an item they do only get in the Edison Kingdom arc (eps 43-48) as well as reference Chip's past (specifically the Black Rose Pirates, which you can find the oneshots of on the JRWI channel), but nothing super major, so once again i count this as minimal to no spoilers!

Mental Struggles-small hurt/comfort who it involves: Oliver, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, after they re-meet Lizzie (minimum post ep 27) trigger warnings: Ollie faces focus struggles due to undiagnosed ADHD (it's a small breakdown he has), Chip mentions taking medicine Spoilers?: character's of Chip's past are referenced (they're revealed in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot), a language Chip knows which is only revealed around ep 86 is referenced, major planned events are vaguely referenced (their first mention is during the Paramount Championship arc, which is eps 27-38), and there is very vague reference to a major event that happens with Ollie (first appearance in ep 41), however none of them are referenced heavily enough to need to be caught up to understand the plot! as such, this one also falls under minimal to no spoilers!

And I am Just a Boy-lighthearted who it involves: Chip, Oliver setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, after Ollie's joined the crew (minimum post ep 25) trigger warnings: there's a bit of non-sexual tit descriptions but otherwise nothing i can think of Spoilers?: i do mentions of an object Chip gets in the Edison Kingdom arc (eps 43-48), but that's unneeded to read this, making it yet another minimal to no spoilers!

Cur(s)ed Flesh-INCOMPLETE, PLANS FOR A CHAPTER 2 (hurt/comfort) who it involves: Chip, Oliver setting ep wise: post ep 48 minimum trigger warnings: body dysphoria and self confidence issues Spoilers?: this one is based around major spoilers in ep 41 (also is based around a tool acquired during the Edison Kingdom arc, or eps 43-48), so this one is major spoilers and would be much better to return to after you watch ep 41!

rocking waves, memory cave-character study, more on the angsty side who it involves: Lizzie setting ep wise: sometime after ep 103 trigger warnings: references to dead people Spoilers?: heavily spoilered based, from events back in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot, to major details revealed only in ep 101 (as well as a major event referenced as background detail which starts in ep 103), as well as other details of Lizzie's backstory being used, this is a character study of her mostly! i dont recommend reading without being caught up!

all my troubles on a burning pile / all lit up and i start to smile-whump who it involves: Chip setting ep wise: minimum post ep 109 trigger warnings: self harm, burning alive, self-hatred, depersonalization of sorts (separating the current state of one's self from who one is, if that makes sense) Spoilers?: heavy ones, it's based around a major event of ep 109, makes references to Chip's past (focused around a detail revealed during the Noctis arc, or eps 64-67), and is focused on major details based around Chip generally, do not read if you haven't seen upto ep 109!

pull the axe out your face and say "was it the boogeyman?"-whump who it involves: Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: insomnia, hallucinations, accidental self harm Spoilers?: the beginning references an arc Chip goes on that people call his "Nightmare arc" (eps 62-70), as well as mentions a character who appears in the Noctis arc (eps 64-67) but otherwise is pretty spoiler free! id consider this one a minimal to no spoiler fic!

wont you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?-comfort then hurt who it involves: Drey, Ichabod setting ep wise: post Black Rose Pirates oneshot, pre Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: gun violence happens at the end, and things with sirens also happen Spoilers?: yep, this is based around a key event for the world of Riptide, and is based around characters who are kind of spoilers (Drey-in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot; Ichabod-eps 68-68.5 [yes, that is 2 episodes]), don't read until you've gotten past ep 68 part 2!

a destiny started too soon for you.-hurt/comfort who it involves: Finn, Gillion setting ep wise: post Black Rose Pirates oneshot, pre Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: violence and fighting, Gillion's trauma is shown through Finn's eyes Spoilers?: it is based around a major event for Gillion (revealed during the Faewild Gilligone arc, eps 75-82), so i will say relevant major spoilers, don't read until you're past ep 82 (and also recommended to have watched the Black Rose Pirates oneshot for some additional context, but it's not needed!)

dont lose your head/i didnt mean to hurt anyone-whump who it involves: Chip, Gillion, Oliver setting ep wise: minimum post ep 109 trigger warnings: decapitation, undead character, self-loathing, disassociation, de-attachment, and this is indeed another whump fic so keep that in mind! Spoilers?: heavily based around a major spoiler of ep 109, as well as references to Chip's past (specifically details revealed in the Noctis arc, eps 64-67), don't read until you've passed ep 109!

a wrench in the gears.-hurt/comfort who it involves: Ensa, Jay setting ep wise: sometime around ep 106 trigger warnings: Jay does yell at some people but otherwise nothing too big i think! Spoilers?: Ensa in of herself is kinda a spoiler (first appears in ep 96), but the biggest of spoilers comes from the location theyre in (which they first arrive to in ep 103), as such i say dont read until you've reached ep 103 and beyond!

The Unbelievable-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, light hearted) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus, Gillion, Jay, Chip, Oliver, Marshal Jon, Pretzel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be sometime after the Desire Isle arc (eps 17-25) trigger warning: none i can think of! Spoilers?: Niklaus himself (as well as Jon and Ollie) could be considered spoilers (Ollie's first appearance with Jon: ep 17; Niklaus appears for the first time in the Loffinlot arc, eps 2-11), and a detail about Earl is referenced (this detail is mentioned during the Loffinlot arc if i remember correctly, and if not, it is a minor one and not talked about much), but is basically a minimal to no spoilers fic!

Isn't Always That Complicated-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, hurt/comfort) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus setting ep wise: minimum post ep 110 trigger warnings: while they are a crack ship, there is a fight between a married couple, as well as descriptions of them kissing Spoilers?: the very setting is indeed a spoiler, i recommend reading after ep 103 (where the setting is first shown) or ep 110 (to understand a detail referenced in this a bit)!

cheers to my light (your the miracle year round)-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, fluff) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus setting ep wise: in the future/post ep 115 [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol, small doses are consumed but nobody is drunk, brief kissing descriptions Spoilers?: the worst of them is characters only revealed in the recent arc (eps 103-115+), but otherwise there's minimal to no spoilers in this one!

PRIME DEFENDERS:

no shame but mine to soothe me-vague hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, Wavelength setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, sometime after meeting Ashe (minimum post s1 ep 11) trigger warnings: eating non-edible objects (the biggest danger implied is the idea of eating glass shards), Dakota has an outburst and yells, but nothing too big! i do also make him imply a dick joke 2 different times Spoilers?: id consider Ashe the biggest spoiler, and even then he's not a big part in this fic, making it marked (pun unintended) as minimal to no spoilers!

weird pine trees in my minds forest.-fluff who it involves: Vyncent, William setting ep wise: post s1 finale, pre s2 ep1 trigger warnings: none i can think of! Spoilers?: theres not really any flat-out stated spoilers! as such, i deem this one the first no spoiler fic!

a mouth to bite with; wouldnt your corpse just look so nice?-hurt no comfort who it involves: Vyncent setting ep wise: post Prime Force oneshot, pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: cannibalism, gore, blood, and keep in mind this was for freak week! Spoilers?: not exactly, the main canon detail discussed all is mentioned, even if briefly, in ep 1! another no spoiler fic!

i know ill never repay this debt.-hurt no comfort who it involves: Xavier, Cantrip (mentioned but plays a big part in this) setting ep wise: sometime during s2 ep 34 trigger warnings: implied death and panic attacks Spoilers?: MAJOR spoilers for the grayscale arc (s2 eps 32-34), dont read until you get past it!

ill save everyone when i save you-hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, Bobo is present so would be post Amalgamation/Harttawa Island (s1 eps 2-5) trigger warnings: suicide attempts, stay safe my friends! Spoilers?: Bobo is a minor spoiler, but otherwise this counts as a minimal to no spoiler fic, just please mind the tws!

im an even worse burden then what i let you see-hurt/comfort who it involves: Wavelength, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: small amounts of paranoia, period talk occurs, one singular mention of drugs and i guess uh stealing if thats a trigger for anybody Spoilers?: a detail about Wavelength is briefly discussed (revealed in s1 ep 11), but since its not that big, im counting this as a minimal to no spoiler fic!

ill get it figured out for you-hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be post s2 trigger warnings: violence, anger issues Spoilers?: theres the smallest mention of events mentioned only in s2 ep40 or the end of s2, but its not a needed detail, so i say this fic is minimal to no spoilers!

Waves of Sensory-hurt/comfort who it involves: Vyncent, Tide, Miss Gilbert setting ep wise: post Prime Force oneshot, pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: sensory overload, panic attack i wanna say kind of Spoilers?: it references big parts of Vyncent's backstory (talked about in the Fauna arc, s2 eps 7-11), i recommend watching past s2 ep11 at least to understand whats happening!

this heart was hallow, so hard to swallow, before you-lighthearted who it involves: Vyncent, William, Stryder, Alphonz, Ram setting ep wise: post s1 finale, pre s2 ep1 trigger warnings: typical sickness things (bedridden-ness, coughing, etc), small mentions of "putting out of misery" for illness reasons (nothing very big), small mentions of animal murder (specifically of rats), descriptions of kissing Spoilers?: details about Vyncent's powers which are only really discussed around s2 play a big part in this (my wording is terrible i fear), so i recommend finishing s1 before reading!

the ashe winters 9/11 fake transcript-transcript, crack who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota, Slimecicle, Yakko, Condifiction, Grizzly, Bizly setting ep wise: post s2 finale/post s2 ep40 trigger warnings: 9/11 jokes, references to destruction (minimal and in a comedic way) Spoilers?: it is based around and discusses big events from the season 2 finale, do not watch unless youre okay with that spoiler!

the dead shall rot / your breath is forced but real-transcript, hurt minimal comfort [ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, DOES NOT FOLLOW CANON TIMELINE AT ALL] who it involves: Mr. Wisp, Mrs. Wisp, Tide, William, Bizly setting ep wise: pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: body horror, corpse descriptions, rot and decay, offering parts of self, panic attacks of sorts (implied), major character death Spoilers?: minus the mention of a more major character, nothing! as such, minimal to no spoilers!

the savior, the hero, and what he wants for me-transcript, hurt/comfort who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota setting ep wise: post s2 finale/s2 ep 40 trigger warnings: mini argument, joking threats of killing, the end bit is myself being shot dead but its in a funny way Spoilers?: yep, the events in this are heavily based around s2 events and takes place during an event that is mentioned in the finale! do not read unless youre okay with spoilers and everything!

it makes you feel so giant/once we were so small-transcript, vague hurt who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota, Mark setting ep wise: post s2 finale/s2 ep40 trigger warnings: joke arguments in the beginning, i do a tad bit of taylor swift slander, the place is destroyed so there is broken glass, references to losing control of yourself, brief mentions of being trapped in a confined space (never described), the entire transcript is the re-facing of trauma and seeing the experiences felt there were ones you were too young for, theres a suicide joke at the very very end Spoilers?: yep, several for events in s2 and the area theyre in has many references to the s1 finale, dont read until youve finished pd s2 i say!

if you dont tell then i wont tell and nobody will ever know-CURRENT STATUS: 6/23 CHAPTERS WRITTEN (hurt/comfort) who it involves: Wavelength, Dakota, Grandma Cole (so far mostly mentioned) trigger warnings: throughout-implied child abuse, the processing of trauma, Dakota consistently blames himself for his injuries (believing he is "weak" thus why he couldnt "handle it") chapter 1 [hurt/comfort]: threats made with a gun (not ever fired), panic attack, descriptions of severe injury, hyper-ventilation (from panic attack), blood is briefly mentioned, Dakota talks about being attacked by bears, mentions of heartbeats chapter 2 [minimal hurt]: descriptions of pain, another panic attack ensues, descriptions of mass injury (one big scratch across the chest) and other injuries, dried blood is mentioned, once again the topic of bear attacks is discussed chapter 3 [minimal hurt]: panic attack part 3, brief mentions of dying via bleeding out, mentions of heartbeats chapter 4 [lighthearted]: the first 2 throughout tws are the main ones that apply here chapter 5 [hurt minimal comfort]: flashbacks to abuse and violence, electrocution, descriptions of pain (as well as poor handling of said pain), mentions of heartbeats chapter 6 [minimal hurt]: yelling, flinching, expectations of pain, mentions of heartbeats Spoilers?: much of the premise is based around a big spoiler of Dakota's backstory (which is revealed in s2 ep21), as well as a massive event of the s1 finale is referenced. as such, please hold off until youve seen past s2 ep21 minimum!

THE SUCKENING:

sherrifs and soda cans.-vague hurt, lighthearted who it involves: Soda, Deacon setting ep wise: during ep 10 trigger warnings: it is based in a jail if that bothers anybody, no actual big arguments happen but there is bitterness between Soda and Deacon Spoilers?: a note i put onto the fic has the worst of spoilers, but its just some characters. while it is based around a major event, you dont need to be caught up to it to understand whats going on! as such, while i recommend reaching ep 10, it is not a requirement for this!

battling scars-hurt/comfort who it involves: Soda, Emizel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: the fic references scars throughout (nothing ever described to detail), smallest mentions of emetophobia (just the word "barf"), self-deprecating talk, brief mentions of disintegration (a singular line), Emizel is said to have zoned out but its not too big (mentioning just in case), there is descriptions of violence mostly for metaphors, Emizel also does an empty threat to Soda Spoilers?: nope! the biggest "spoiler" i can think of is that Emizel's a vampire here, which is revealed ep 1 (and also feels obvious for a vampire campaign to have vampires), so this ones a no spoiler fic!

if only you knew what goes on in my mind-hurt/comfort who it involves: Soda, Emizel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: depriving ones self of sleep Spoilers?: same as the other one, nope! another no spoiler fic!

WONDERLUST:

grand gestures cant fix this, you never did the dishes-hurt no comfort who it involves: Lint, Troy setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be after ep 1 or so trigger warnings: major character death, corpse descriptions, brief blood mentions Spoilers?: if there are any, i wouldnt know! im not completely caught up with wonderlust at the time of writing this (3/31/25), but i do know that for where ive gotten up to (very very start of ep 3, havent started yet) this is a no spoiler fic! just mind the trigger warnings!

wish we could talk but your stone walls leave me hurt-hurt/comfort who it involves: Lint, Troy setting ep wise: pre ep 1 trigger warnings: negative self talk, arguments, mentions of injury (no descriptions of pain, appearance, or severity) Spoilers?: none! still not caught up as of writing this one (4/8/25) and have not progressed any further along, so should be no spoilers!

something else/i just want a button to push-lighthearted who it involves: Jax, Troy setting ep wise: pre ep 1 trigger warnings: descriptions of making out Spoilers?: not that i can tell! it is mostly just them kissing, and is based around a character with like no information on him, as such theres no spoilers i could incorporate!

thought i saw your shadow under the door-hurt/comfort

who it involves: Jax, Lint

setting ep wise: vague/unspecified

trigger warnings: hallucinations and unreality (believing something otherworldly is stalking you with violent intensions), brief thoughts of suicide in a sense (allowing something to kill you), knife is held but not used, insomnia happens on lints end but not described, panic attacks, descriptions of crying (specifically mentioning snot and things)

Spoilers?: as of editting this (5/5/2025), nothing has changed in my wonderlust catchup, but i am aware jax is not mentioned beyond ep 1 and im unsure what information we actually have of lint now, regardless this is deemed a no spoiler fic! just watch for the warnings!

MYTHBORNE:

hes gone and were whats left alive of him, so let the corpse go-hurt minimal comfort who it involves: Ryan, Aster, Connor (not present but a driving force of this) setting ep wise: post finale/ep 3 trigger warnings: grief (and unhealthy ways to cope with it), loss of a close friend, implied self blame, an argument does end up occurring even if quite brief Spoilers?: nothing for the actual campaign but rather details revealed in the intergalactic what if (set after the events of mythborne) as well as discussed in just rolled with its. id consider this a major spoiler, but the only way to learn of these details is either to access them from patreon or look at the wiki which holds some (that is how i learned of these for the first time to be fair). as such, this is technically no spoilers, but read at your own risk!

nothing to gain something to lose-hurt/comfort who it involves: Ryan, Professor Aeliana setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: grief (and unhealthy ways to cope with it), loss of family, self-deprecation Spoilers?: once again, the details of the spoilers are never discussed in the actual campaign. in fact, these details are only ever talked about on condis discord! once again, this fic is technically no spoilers, but read at your own risk!

APOTHEOSIS:

bite your lips till they bleed / my help is love, i give with my whole being-minimal hurt/comfort who it involves: Peter, Elena setting ep wise: post finale/ep 14 trigger warnings: trying to consume objects that cant be eaten (in this case a rock), blaming ones self for incontrollable behaviors Spoilers?: 2 pretty big ones which while arent important to the fic, are kind of needed to understand part of whats happening! please dont read until finishing apotheosis!

MULTI-CAMPAIGN:

The Falling Rat(girl)-minimal hurt/comfort campaigns: Wonderlust, Mythborne who it involves: Aster (Mythborne), Runt (Wonderlust) setting ep wise: post mythborne finale (ep 3) and intergalactic gameshow, vague/unspecified for wonderlust (presumed to be post ep 2 minimum) trigger warnings: mentions of someone almost falling to death, vague references to alcohol (Ryan's drinks) with none ever consumed, bad care of wounds and general disability things, brief mentions of scars Spoilers?: mythborne-for the actual campaign, its mostly just a name mentioned briefly. for the aftermath of the campaign, there are some major details that, while arent important to know to understand this, are referenced. if you had plans to watch the intergalactic gameshow what if, i recommend holding back from watching! wonderlust-impossible for any, as when i wrote this, ep 1 hadnt been released! as such, no spoilers on the wonderlust end!

[mimi-creates]

HTTYD Fan Fic Idea

A Time-Travel Not! Fix-It

Uh, basically (I don’t know the cause but SOMEHOW) post-RTTE but pre-Drago Hiccup wakes up 3-4 years in the past in his 15 year-old body about a week before the day he shot down Toothless.

Cue in panicked attempts to figure out how that even HAPPENED and Hiccup trying to find a way back to his own time, while also knowing the raid that caused him and Toothless to meet and changed his life is fast approaching and “what if I can’t find a way back to my own time, what if I’m stuck here and what if I never see Toothless again if I don’t shoot him down like last time, I don’t want to hurt him, what if something WORSE HAPPENS TO HIM IF I DONT–“

And then he shoots the bola, afraid of the result, regardless of which one it ends up being.

And he misses.

And now he’s stuck without Toothless and trying to figure out how to fight the Red Death without his bud but also without putting anyone else in unnecessary danger, meaning he can’t just go around training dragons because his dad will do what he did last time–

So he tries to be discreet in the beginning.

Eventually he gets caught by someone from the gang for sneaking into the dragon arena after training hours and actually walking OUT of where the DRAGONS are. (I’m like 75% sure I’m gonna go with Snotlout.)

One thing leads to another, Hiccup connects the gang with their dragons. But also they’re left wondering “Okay, but where’s your dragon? How do you know so much and yet you never fly on one of your own?”

Cue in Hiccup missing Toothless and struggling to give them even a vague explanation to the situation and them not really getting it and trying to get his spirits up and pushing him to find a new dragon partner.

I’m not sure what happens next but I want a random chance encounter between Toothless and Hiccup at some point after this. And Hiccup is just standing there, SO happy to see his best friend and missing him SO much because he know Toothless hasn’t the slightest idea who he is.

But then maybe dragon hunters come after Toothless and when Hiccup hears about it he runs to the rescue and jumps in to protect Toothless (maybe even gets a little hurt in the process, don’t we like drama in this house).

Roughly around that time he finally tells the gang that he’s technically from the future? Because “Hiccup, WHY are you so obsessed with that dragon???” I have a little snipped of him and Astrid talking some time after the reveal.

Toothless is very confused by Hiccup’s behaviour but eventually decides to trust him and when Hiccup ends up in danger instead, Toothless moves in to protect him.

And that’s how they manage to find their way to each other!

I have no idea if I want to keep going with this plot in a way that it just settles back into canon to some extent, or if I want to let Hiccup go back to his own time eventually.

I would have to figure out if I wanna make the time travel make sense first or not. XD

But if it DOES end up making sense, I can see it as like young Hiccup and older Hiccup having switched places in time until one of them finds the solution and reverses their places.

Uuuuuh… typing that out made a lot of ideas flood into my brain. Ideas that may require of me to move some plot points around.

Oh yeah, for extra angst, of course I considered the option for older Hiccup to have been post-Drago Hiccup. Because him interacting with Stoick in the past would be… yeah.

But then like, that would imply he knows about his mom and the Sanctuary, and I kinda didn’t want him to because he could just fly there, meet his mom and then the whole fic turns into him trying to help the dragons by trying to get his parents to just MEET.

… which would be an interesting fic that I wouldn’t mind reading either, but my focus here is different. XD

Also, in the case of a switch, I didn’t wanna put young Hiccup through the pain of finding out his dad is dead and he’s chief now.

…

So that was a long rant.

I guess I’m dropping this off here because as many fanfic ideas as I do have, I write them out impossibly slowly. So I just have snippets of this thing. Not a single even half-way done chapter.

And it would be sad if this never sees the light of day, you know? I need more “Hiccup and Toothless would die for each other” centric fanfics in my life.

[abitterberryblog]

TWOTM Emissa Corenius : An Over-Analyzation

Major The Will of the Many spoilers and random theories ahead !!

Okay, so when I first read The Will of the Many, I wasn’t reading properly, and I just kinda assumed that Emissa was just a kinda blandly written character in such a well-written world. That was, of course, until the whole twist thing. What I liked was that it wasn’t a complete 360, and that she didn’t end up as extremely bad, but flawed enough for me not to be annoyed with her existence, and for her to not seem like only a Mary Sue 'love interest' character.

The thing is, I don't think she is at all.

First of all, I’m starting this with an analyzation of her relationship with Vis, and her not-so-role as a ‘love interest’. Was it real? Was it fake? I think she eventually did grow to be fond over him after a while, but I’ve always known she was going to betray him somehow. Something about the vibes.

It all started with the glass of water at the infirmary. I know there’s a chance that maybe she’s just, idk, kind or whatever, but after the ending, I’m not so 100% sure.

Not only that, but Ulciscor  constantly nagging about how suspicious he was of her. (Normally I'd pass it off as Ulciscor  being obsessed and hyper-anxious about the mission thing, but this was Emissa, and that caught my interest.)

There’s a really fat chance that she was, somehow, working with Veridius. This does not mean that she’s evil or whatever, and I'm still trying to figure out of Veridius is good or not, but it does make her a lot more interesting and complex.

Towards the end of the Iudicium, Emissa uses Will. You can’t use Will during academy stuff without some sort of source, or somebody allowing to use it. It's simply not possible?? Veridius? He’s literally the Principalis of the academy, after all, and during the infirminary scene at the end of the book, its implied that the Principalis spoke with Emissa beforehand, when he says to Vis that ‘she’s distraught’ and tries convincing Vis to talk to her.

What I noticed in this book is that the author, James Islington, is very careful in what he keeps in the book. Details. Hints. No matter how small or useless they seem. There are MAJOR spoilers, but : Here's a funny example I found.

See? Everything is littered in little details to be explored upon later. Even something as simple as a background detail of Aequa flipping coins.

ALSO, and something that I don’t see talked about for some reason, is the fact that Emissa knows that Indol was planning to deflect from Military to Religion. Indol never told her this. He’s shocked that she knows. Guess who may know??? Veridius???? That's right!!!

The question is, why would Veridius tell Emissa this? No idea from me here. But something else during the Iudicium arc catches my attention, and it’s the fact that Veridius PRIVATELY tells everybody what prize they would get if they won the whole thing. As implied by Eidhin (after he cancels on the Iudicium thing for Vis’ sake), Veridius often tempts them with something they really, really badly want,  and something that would drive them to want to win. 

I’m surprised not many people talk about that scene where Emissa asks Vis for the Heart of Jovan in the Iudicium, so she could win. She’s upset by this, obviously, since she cries and stuff, but I notice that she says “I can’t let us get separated.”

When I first read, I assumed she was talking about Vis, but that wouldn’t make sense, since she basically stabbed him as he fell off a tower (?) like, five seconds later. And also, her and Vis being separated wouldn't be related to her winning the Iudicium, (unless she's in a scenario where she'll have to leave forever or something if she doesn't win, which isn't really likely), Which makes me wonder, who was she really talking about?

Hopefully, we’re find out in the next book. Someone she really cared about? Relative? Family member? Am I missing something? Will this be important?

After all, we don’t exactly 100% know why Veridius planted Vis near the Callidus-Eidhin punchy debacle. He obviously knew Vis would step in.

At first I wondered if he was trying to kick Vis out and expel him, which is probably more likely, but right now I’m running on four hours of sleep and I am high on theories.

I think I’ve read this theory somewhere on the Hierarchy subreddit, too, but what if Veridius planned this whole thing, not to expel Vis, but to plant Vis near the stables as his punishment, maybe for Emissa to keep an eye on him? Or woo him for secrets or whatever the fuck? 

At the very least, whether Veridius did purposely plant Vis there for that sole reason, or as an afterthought after Vis worms himself out with the Threefold Apology, I do think that Veridius did make Emissa watch over Vis on purpose.

Otherwise, I think it’ll be a little random with Emissa just casually joining Vis to scoop horse dung, and I do not care how cool or attractive or fascinating he may appear, I still think it’s important. Hopefully? And why do I think so, you may ask?

I do not really think Islington deliberately wanted Emissa and Vis to be like, endgame, endgame. Like, The EndgameTM.  Maybe Emissa was trying to get more information on him. I don't know. It’s plausible. Emissa is top of the academy after Indol, and besides Indol being of course the smartest (as told by Vis), Emissa is FAR smarter than most readers deem her to be. I don't think everything as simple as this. Emissa simply cannot be this blind and radiant and carefree. She isn't in a perfume ad. We've established, from the book itself, that twotm is LAYERS upon LAYERS and twist after twist.

First of all, I’m so sorry, but Emissa and Vis have like no chemistry (imo). They do have maybe like a teeny, tiny bit, but the thing is that Vis has more chemistry with LITERALLY every other character his age BESIDES Emissa. I know, I know, every writer isn’t perfect, but there’s something so suspicious about Emissa and Vis’ dynamic.

As mentioned once on a Hierarchy Series subreddit post, Emissa and Vis have a strange dynamic that is unlike the others characters. With literally every single other character/friendship/relationship that Vis is in, there are details of each interaction, each feeling Vis has with them, what they do, bla bla bla, snippets of the scene, dialogue, ect.

But with Emissa, it’s sort of just…speedran? Like, besides the whole Suus island romance debacle and theatrics, their interactions just sort of go…

“Emissa visited me in the stables and we talked. For a long time. She helped me. She's nice. Also, her eyes are really green.” 

“Emissa sometimes studied with Callidus and I in the morning, sometimes not. Blablabla, she’s great and funny.”

“Emissa talked with me during Suus after noticing that I was uncomfortable with the politician people, blabla. ”

“Emissa and I trained together. In Three. Emissa helped me study. In Three. Wow, she makes me smile. Haha.”

Obviously, I'm exaggerating, but I'm definitely NOT wrong. Open the book and reread it. I DARE you to tell me I'm wrong.

See, there’s no real scene with them. Is it just me who noticed this? Just a time jump where Vis summarizes everything he did with her and how awesome and fun it was. There’s no way an author, writing a book with this much description and detail, just fumbles a romance by writing it like this.

NOT ONLY THAT, but even the CONFESSION scene isn’t anything as theatric as the rest of the book. Not even a SMIDGEN. Even the whole kiss can be easily forgotten. It’s not some dramatic confession. It's not romantic. It's not even sweet and heart-warming in that subtle, simple way. It's just a really lukewarm 'maybe i like you' and then boom, and it's over in an instant.

Vis mentions Indol and the secret that Emissa accidentally exposes of Indol, and then Emissa (suspiciously) changes the topic to how much she likes Vis and kisses Vis. And then boom, romance. A quick end scene, as if it wasn't ever important.

Isn’t it like, hella SUSPICIOUS? She changed the topic. Kissed him. Distracted him. And then the scene ended like it wasn't a whole Vis-Developing, Emissa-Developing, HUGE relationship moment.

Which, yeah, maybe she did like him at some point, but it sure as hell is convenient, isn’t it? I’m super invested in her character now, which is ironic because I used to not be able to STAND her because I just thought her character was just a really poorly written love interest.

I’m convinced Islington has the writer ability to write a confession/kiss scene much better, and much less random than that. Which means that I really don’t think he INTENDED to make hearts swoon. Just to distract.

Emissa is very fascinating, and few people acknowledge that, and I am EXTREMELY excited for The Strength of the Few to release.