#I wrote this half asleep so dont be surprised if it doesnt make sense

[valenishere]

Sagau Idea

I'm not that good with writing YouPoV's so there may be some odd usage of they's and thems then switching to "you"'s. this'll be stock full of typos so be warned

Mentions of injury, implied murder, blood, and implied cult

It's been a long while since I've gotten into Self-aware genshin aus, reading the fluffiest scenes to straight up gore. And theres this concept I saw about where the creator (basically, you) can make any oc come to life and help them out. (this one read it s really good. They also expanded on it go read it too its a really neat build-up on it. this one)

And as a DnD enjoyer as well... there's this idea thats been brewing in my head whenever i think back to it.

What if in Imposter!au where they're being constantly being hunted... after getting cornered in one of the nations (in the Chasm for example) they get desperate and try out an idea they don't think would work.

While resting after being in the brink of death(again) in a place Teyvat has helped you conceal, your thoughts wander. You think, why is there even a Creator? There isn't supposed to be one. That kinda concept just disrupts everything they know about the game. It's a ridiculous concept. In your delirious state, you think, "I wish that just disappears... Then i wouldn't be..."

Then you remebered the curious ability you've recently unlocked in your "adventures". The ability to create characters, with some limitations. It took you quite a bit to adjust to your newfound ability and its caveats, resulting in a few heartbreaking loss on the way.

But as a DnD player, overcoming the death of your beloved characters quickly is a mental fortitude you've developed. And it's handy that you've already made a few characters for your past sessions before landing in Teyvat. It saved you from being one-shotted right from the start.

Although now... You're down to only one left.

"... I'm so tired..."

The mental stress of being in a constant state of danger, paranoia, hunger, pain, and exhaustion have worn you down to a point where you can't even think up of more characters to make up for the one's that have recently passed. You slipped up so bad because of sleeplessness that your last capable party of characters died and a hole was speared through your gut too.

As you lay bleeding on the cold ground, with only a talking mushroom to keep you company, you wrack your brain to put together a proper character but... you really can't. You can't even think straight. Not with the recent information you've found out.

The so-called Creator is now creating their very own characters, their very own people/army, through alchemy, and is now sending them after you, thus increasing your hunters by double. And on top of the already powerful vision-holders (of course they're powerful, you made them that way), you figured... "Ah... I'm fucked..."

Knowing you might as well be as good as done now, you didn't even bother bringing out the last of your characters to heal you. It's not like healing yourself will make you forget about this lifelong trauma--

... Forget?

...

A fleeting thought.

A dumb fleeting thought. A very dumb one at that.

One that will for sure backfire in your face if you do it wrong. And quite frankly, it could spell the end for this world, even for the one they call Creator.

... But it's not like you have anything else to lose.

And so, within the dim light of the mushroom, you painstakingly start to write. Word for word, cramming everything information you know, as deatiled as you can make it into bringing it into life. A character you've never tried making before. Something that could possibly end your suffering. Or make it worse.

You honestly don't know if you're doing it right. After all, you've never tried something like it before.

"What are you making this time?' the ever so curious mushroom asked.

You grin, a manic look in your eyes. "Either my stupidest... or my brightest idea yet."

It's not long befere you finished. You gaze upon your finished product and you have to say... it's even more fleshed out than your best characters. And that quick sketch you drew... you swear those hollow eyes are following you already. That may be just the blood loss talking.

"That's... one ugly worm you've drawn..." The mushroom hums, like it can just see the monstrosity that you've created.

You chuckle breathlessly, looking almost solemn with what you're about to do. Well... it' not wrong. But...

"This is my kid. Their name is... Falseh. Get along well with them... okay?"

0===|>>>>>.

The very ground trembles as the Lord of Geo strides through the dark tunnels, a dark look in his eyes and a spear in his hand. If his presence wasn't enough, the murderous intent rolling off of him in waves is enough to deter any beasts from crossing his path.

The imposter was last seen slinking around the depths of the Chasm by one of the Tianquan's agents. Although failing to execute the imposter the first chance they got with their incompetence, Morax have to commend the Qixing for being able to find them even in the depths of the earth.

For some reason, the land seems to reject his commands from time to time now. He was baffled as to why his beloved Maker is hindering him in fulfilling his given mission but he's just been informed that the land defiance of him is due to the imposter infecting the land with their vile abilities.

Now, he's even more hellbent on making sure to drive his spear through the imposters heart and presenting it to his Grace. He won't miss a second time.

His eyes sharpens as a he a cavern just up ahead, soft blue light spilling through entrance. Tightening his grip on his spear, the power of Geo gathers in his other, ready to skewer someone five times into death if he so wishes.

He steps through the entrance and immediately lands on a figure, leaning prone under a giant glowing mushroom. He relaxes a bit. He recognizes this place. It's a bit close to the Land of Verdure, Sumeru. He needs to be careful. He can't be caught flaunting his power on another Archons domain after all.

Approaching the figure, he gets a bit surprised as they twitch, looking up to him through their hair. They try to talk, but all they can manage are quiet wheezes.

'Oh. They're still breathing. That's good.' Zhongli kneels down beside them, looking them over. They look like they've been dragged through the Abyss and back. Their midriff is bandaged heavily but it's already bled through, forming a pool of their own blood below them. He frowns lightly. It must be quite a big injury if it's bleeding this much.

Wordlessly, he holds a hand over the injury and channels his power. He's not the most profficient in healing, but he should at least be able to stop the bleeding.

Mere moments later, he have plugged up the injury and the figure is now able to stand up.

"Th-Thank you so much Rex Lapis!" they bow down. Or at least, they bow down the best they can without opening their wound. "Any longer and I would've surely perished..."

Zhongli waves them off nonchalantly as he starts to walk back out the way he came. "It's best you get back to the surface. Your injury needs to be properly tended. And I can see that..."

His eyes drifts to the scattered bloody bandages and practically empty backpack. "You've run out of supplies. It is a virtue to you mortals to know when to give up. Remember that."

"Y-Yes sir Rex Lapis sir! I'll get back right away!" they start to quickly collect their things, haphazardly stuffing the bandages and handbook into the bag, being careful of their injury.

The Lord of Geo just watches for a moment before completely leaving, trusting that they won't make any stupid mistake and go back post haste.

After he has left, you pause in your packing, leaning against the mushroom and slowly sliding down with a shaky breath.

"Y-You... didn't you say he and the entirety of the world was hunting for you?" The mushroom hums in confusion, sharing your tension. "What was that? Heck, he was the one that put a hole through you and he healed you!"

You chuckle breathlessly, the manic look intensifying in your eyes as it dawns on you that it worked. That stupid idea of yours actually worked!

And if you can get to the Creator... you can make this whole concept disappear altogether. Forever.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you see it. A large mass of hairless flesh writhing about, multiple tentacle-like appendages potruding out of it. It's slithering it's limbs about, coiling around the mushroom and and back again, and around you as well.

But when you turn your head to actually look, there's nothing there. All you can hear is what seems to be muffled humming, an eerie tune listlessly flowing through the air (but somehow, the sound is the most comforting thing ever).

"Oh it's nothing. I think... he just heard something that made him forget."

[eiro-ae]

Unsure

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

It was late afternoon when you had managed to make it home, a cute valentines gift bag in your hands, full with gifts and a card for your one and only valentine. It had taken you so long to hand make half of these items, but it was definitely worth it. You placed the bag on display on your kitchen counter before making your way to your room and pulling out your phone.

[6:23pm] Whatcha doin?

You waited for a moment, a giddy smile upon your face.

[6:27pm] Practice.

The one word response was a little new, he had always made time to give you an appropriate response because he knew you hated one word responses. However, you let it slide, just thinking that he must be super busy.

[6:29pm] I have something for you. Can you text me when you’re available?

Another moment passed, the three dots seemingly permanent on the screen.

[6:32pm] Sure, it’ll be a little bit though.

As much as you had hoped it would be sooner, you understood that he was busy, so you gave a small pout before replying.

[6:34pm] Okay, that’s fine.

To pass time, you laid there, scrolling through youtube. A few funny videos popped up, and of course you had to watch those. One in particular had almost brought you to tears from laughing so hard, so you decided to send it to Yangyang. You didn’t expect any response, and as you expected, you got nothing.

You continued to wait, for much longer than you wanted. It was getting later and later and not a single word from Yangyang. Your heart began to drop, bringing your mind to a thinking state. A state you knew you didn’t need to be in. You always overthought things, and you knew that, but you just couldn’t help it. Yangyang was the first good thing that has ever happened to you and you were just so scared that he too would get tired of you and walk out on you.  

It was now 8pm, and you still hadn’t heard a single word from him. Does he even know what today is? Did he just forget? Those questions brought you to another question, one that you had put off for so long. What are we?

You and Yangyang had been friends for so long, and you obviously had a massive crush on him, but… when he asked you to be his girlfriend, he was so confident. He kind of laughed about it, as if it was a joke. Of course you said yes, you’d be a fool to say no. His face had fallen, he seemed so shocked that you had said yes. You couldn’t tell if it was because he wasn’t expecting you to feel the same way, or if he was shocked you took his joke seriously. He never said anything about it, instead he just said okay before running off with his friends.

Now that you two were… together? You hated that you couldn’t quite label it. Anyway, he doesn’t treat you like his girlfriend. He still treats you like a friend. He never holds your hand, he never kisses you, he never calls you any names other than your name or some stupid nickname he gave you in middle school. You were starting to wonder if maybe he was joking that day, that he didn’t actually want you to take it seriously.

You shot up from your lying position, eyes wide and mind racing. Was he joking that day and now has to deal with you because you said yes? Was he just trying not to hurt your feelings? Did he not want you? Is that why he’s so distant? It would make sense. You could feel the familiar sting in your eyes, trying your hardest to push back the tears, telling yourself it was a stupid reason to cry and that you were just overthinking things again, but it only made it worse.

You gripped onto the pillow you had been holding before shoving your face into it as you cried. You didn’t even notice your phone going off behind you.

[8:22pm] Okay, I’m done. What’s up?

[8:29pm] Hello? Did you fall asleep? It says you’re reading my messages

[8:34pm] I know you’re awake, you never sleep this early.

You still didn’t even notice that he was blowing up your phone, even when he called you.

[8:37pm] 1 missed call

[8:43pm] 2 missed calls

[8:48pm] 3 missed calls

He was determined to reach you, but you just wouldn’t answer your phone. He knew how you were so it was only beginning to worry him.

[8:51pm] Please answer me, you’re starting to make me worry.

[8:56pm] This isn’t like you… what's wrong?

At this point you had calmed down with the tears, instead you laid there in your bed, curled up like a child, completely forgetting that you even had a phone.

[9:16pm] Fuck this, I’m coming over.

The tears had picked back up, and you hated yourself for it. You kept telling yourself to stop being a baby, that it’s a dumb reason to cry. After another ten minutes you had expected it to die down again, but it only picked up even more and you were to the point where you were choking on your tears. You didn’t even hear the door to your apartment open, nor the footsteps that led to the opening of your bedroom door as well.

Yangyang stood there, watching your shaking figure and listening as you cried. His heart had dropped and he was more than confused. He slowly made his way to you, announcing his presence.

“No, no, no, come here.” He lifted you up as he sat on your bed before pulling you to him. You latched onto him, crying into his shoulder. You wanted to stop but it was only making it worse now that he was here.

After a good few minutes, you were able to calm down enough to pull away from him. He looked down at you with a concerned expression.

“Why were you crying?” He asked you softly as he moved a strand of hair from your face. You didn’t know how to tell him, you felt like maybe he’d just look at you like you were stupid for it. However he has a way of making you tell him what he wanted to know so you just learned to give up and tell him anyway.

“I.. um…” You sighed, looking away from him. “What are we?” You deadpanned, bringing a wave of silence into the room. Yangyangs brows furrowed as he thought about the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused at the question.

“I mean.. You asked me to be your girlfriend, but you looked so surprised when I said yes.” You started. He was still quite obviously confused.

“Well I mean, I was…?” How did you even properly explain to him how you felt?

“I know but… it seemed like maybe you were joking when you asked me out? And maybe you were shocked because I took your joke seriously? I mean, you haven’t treated me any different from that day. You never hold my hand, you never call me any cute names, you never kiss me, you never do anything and I was starting to wonder if you were just dealing with me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” It was silent again, and you were starting to regret even telling him that.

“That’s not it at all.” He states plainly, going to grab your hand before sighing.

“It was never a joke, I wanted you, I still want you. I was surprised because you said yes so quickly and I was expecting a no. I was so nervous that day but I had to do it. I never do anything with you because I’ve been too nervous to. I didn’t want to move too fast because I didn’t want to scare you off. I guess that was the wrong choice. I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t want you.” The explanation was enough to make you cry again, but you forced them back. Yangyangs hand made its way to your cheek, rubbing away the tears that had already fallen.

“If you want me to hold your hand, just tell me. If you want me to call you baby, I will. If you want me to kiss you, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’d love to do all these things, I just didn’t want to rush you.” You looked up at him with glossy eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity in his own, but there was none.

“Kiss me.” You spoke softly. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he looked down to yours. He angled your face as he leaned down, his eyes closing as his soft lips met your own. The kiss you shared was gentle, but it meant so much to you. You kissed him back with such feeling, and you could almost understand how he felt just by the way he kissed you. When he pulled away, you were slightly disappointed, wanting nothing more then to attach your lips to his once more. He gazed down at you with a smile.

“So.. about that gift.” You let out a giggle before lightly smacking his arm.

“Kiss me again and I’ll go get it for you.” He smiled before leaning down to meet your lips once more.

“Gladly.”

This was based on a dream that I had. I honestly forgot I wrote it but I thought I’d go ahead and post it. 

[sammmys-writing]

First Date

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Sonny Carisi (Barisi)

TW: None

Summary: Sonny finally gets the guts to ask Rafael out on a date and does so

Authors notes: ho- LEE FUCK THIS IS LONG (2,246 words uwu) also i wrote this at like 1AM and its not Beta-ed so please excuse any OOCness. 

Amanda and Sonny being best friends is true MlM WlW soldarity

This is also posted on AO3. Read it Here

"Carisi has a crush, Carisi has a crush~~" Rollins teased in a sing-song voice once the ruthless ADA, (and Sonny's aforementioned crush) Rafael Barba had left earshot.

"I don't have a crush!!" The other exclaimed defensively. Ok, maybe he had a tiny crush on the ADA, but who wouldn't?? Especially with those fierce forest green eyes and the way they twinkled on the rare occasion that he laughed, or his pretty little "I'm Winning" Smirk that only showed up in court, but that Sonny would pay to see.

"Yeah and you didn't just stare at and flirt with Barba for..." She checked her watch "Half an hour" She snorted, poking at Carisi's side.

"I wasn't staring I was... being an attentive listener" He stated, hoping that his excuse would get the other detective to leave him alone about this.

"Right, so you weren't staring straight at his lips the whole time" She said skeptically, raising one eyebrow up. He'd seen her use this tactic in interrogations, but it wouldn't work on him, not today at least.

"I wasn't staring at his lips!!"

Yes he was.

"And the flirting?" She inquired.

"He was flirting with me and i was being polite. How do you know that its he who's crushing on me and not the other way around? Check and Mate" He smirked, crossing his arms.

"What ever you say tough guy" Rollins snorted before going back to her work.

~*~

Unbeknownst to either detective, Rafael Barba was in fact crushing on Sonny Carisi. Somehow the lanky detective had wormed his way into his heart, with his absolutely kissable lips, bright blue eyes, and those god damn dimples that would certainly be the death of him. But, sadly, Rafael was pretty sure that Sonny was straight, as he'd always seen him flirting with women at NYPD parties that he was encouraged (forced) to attend.

Although this knowledge didn't prevent his heart from melting as a result of Carisi's laugh or the way he was constantly leaning over things, giving Barba a nice view of his ass. It also didn't stop him from being slightly jealous when he caught someone else eyeing those long perfect legs, connected to that perfect ass. Still, he acted professional, he kept his feelings under wraps, he willed himself to look away whenever Carisi leaned over something (Most of the time), like he did literally every time Barba visited the precinct, and he never actively sought him out unless it was pertinent to the current case. He was slightly afraid of his feelings for the detective getting the better of him. His train of thought was cut off as Carmen entered his office to say

"Mr Barba, Detective Carisi's here to see you"

Sonny walked in as Carmen was leaving and he flashed the ADA one of those award winning smiles that Rafael couldn't get enough of.

"Good evening Detective, what brings you here?" He asked, not looking up from the papers he was working on

"Well, I was wondering, Counselor, if..." He paused "You'd like to go to dinner, with me" the Detective added looking down, which made a few pieces of his hair fall to his forehead, free from the  grip of the hair gel he most likely used.

Barba for once was at a slight loss for words, he looked up from his papers and a slight smirk appeared on his lips, "Are you asking me out on a date, Detective?"

"Would you say yes if I was?" Replied the detective, looking up, his baby blues brighter then normal.

"Are you free tomorrow at 8?"

"Y-Yeah, I am"

"Meet me at DiAngelo's at 8"

Carisi smiled brightly and nodded, "I gotta go now or Picatso will get all weird when I get home. See ya tomorrow Counselor!" He said, waving his goodbyes before exiting Barba's office happily knowing he had a date with his crush.

Meanwhile Barba was rethinking all of his life choices that had led up to when he had fallen for a man who'd named his cat Picatso.

~*~

[Sonny  days] roLLINS

ROLLINS

ROLLINS, I JUST ASKED BARBA OUT AND HE SAID YES??? I HAVE A DATE WITH HIM TOMORROW AFTER WORK

HELP

[Rollin' in the deep] i knew you had a crush on him carisi

[Sonny  days] yeah, yeah, yeah, alright you were right, but still

Help

[Rollin' in the deep] with what? just let him slam it home

[Sonny  days] thats like

the exact opposite of helping

what do i do with the date, like how

how does someone do a date

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

[Sonny  days] stop or i block

[Rollin' in the deep] ;(

have you told him about Picatso yet?

[Sonny  days] yeah??

[Rollin' in the deep] and he didn't bail instantly? he must really like you

[Sonny  days] hey, Picatso is the perfect name for a cat

[Rollin' in the deep] that is not a cat

thats a demon from hell

[Sonny  days] he just doesnt like you because he can sense how much you hate him

animals are like that

anyway, back on topic, help please??

[Rollin' in the deep] Just, talk to him about mutual interest's or ask him about himself or smthn i dont knoW

I don't know man!! i havent been on a first date in so long

[Sonny boy] since you've been banging the lieu

[Rollin' in the deep] speaking of liv, Noah just fell asleep you know what that means

[Sonny  days] gross

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

get some carisi!! now i gotta go its time for some designated lady time

[Sonny  days] have a good time rollins

and please never say designated lady time ever again

~*~

The next day at 8 o'clock, Sonny Carisi walked up to the DiAngelo's restaurant in a nice white pressed shirt and dress pants with a navy tie, not his work clothes, Barba was too good for him to wear his work clothes on a date with him, he saw Barba standing outside the restaurant, wearing a suit, like always. Sonny wondered what he looked like in home clothes or pyjamas, hopefully, if dinner went well he'd have a chance to see that.

"Hey counselor!" He called, waving to the hot ADA as he walked towards him.

Rafael smiled warmly at the tall blue-eyed detective, waving back.

"You're not late Carisi, I'm surprised" He joked lightly, giving the detective a quick look down, he dressed nice, better then what he wore to work at least.

Carisi smiled at the comment. "I try counselor." He chuckled, "Shall we go in?" he asked, offering his arm, internally panicking about this, he was trying to follow the WikiHow article he read on how to act on a first date, so far it was working.

Barba smiled again, "Call me Rafael" He said, taking his arm and the pair went inside, where they were seated quickly in a little booth in the corner. The date went rather well as far as first dates with your co-worker are concerned, they chatted and laughed, happy in their own little world.

Rafael was sure he'd just fallen even harder for the blue eyed detective sitting across from him. He talked with his hands lot, this was something he had never noticed before, when telling funny little stories of his childhood in Staten Island suburbia, he made grand gestures with his hands, whether he was explaining his sisters giant crush on his best friend, or how he fell off of the playground structure when he was 10 and had to be in a wheelchair for a month.

Carisi noticed how Rafael's eyes softened when he talked about his grandma or his mom, telling stories of his childhood, how he poured himself into his studies and go to college against the odds, go to Harvard, it was truly inspiring and Carisi was reminded of why he fell for the green eyed ADA. He was the most interesting man he'd ever met.

"My apartment isn't far from here, wanna come over, end the night with a few drinks?" Carisi asked as they exited the restaurant after dinner, looking down.

"Sure" Barba replied, after a few moments of hesitation. "Lead the way" He chuckled.

As they walked, they chatted some more, sharing thoughts about cases, the law, and ridiculous perp names that Sonny had encountered during his years as a detective, ("You arrested a guy called Dick Hertz?" "Crazy right?")

Carisi was happy to learn more about Rafael, see the softer side of him, which was just as hot as the snarky work version of him, (in Sonny's opinion at least). Meanwhile Rafael had learned that Sonny was just as loud outside of work as he was in work, which to be honest wasn't surprising and kinda endearing to say the least.

Once they entered Sonny's apartment, Picatso rubbed up against the pairs legs, seeking attention from his owner and this new person he'd brought into the house.

"Hey stinky man" Sonny greeted the eager cat, leaning down to give him a quick pet, before shutting the door behind them and putting up his coat, "Want anything to drink? I got wine, whiskey, tea, coffee, water" He stated, turning around to look at Rafael, smiling a bit. Hopefully his apartment was clean enough, he didn't have much of a chance to clean up beforehand but he thought it looked presentable.

"I'll have a whiskey" Barba replied, hanging up his coat and glancing down at the cat, it was rubbing up against his leg and trying to sniff him to make sure he wasn't an enemy. Rafael wasn't particularly fond of felines but Picatso (what'd the cat do to be named that) seemed reasonable, he leaned over, giving his hand to sniff before he gave the cat a hesitant pet on the head, Picatso purred quietly, liking the attention from the new human.

"He likes you" Carisi smiled, coming back with two glasses, one with whiskey and another with wine. "I think thats the fastest ive ever seen him warm up to someone" He chuckled, handing the glass of whiskey to Barba as he got up. Picatso protested the end of the attention with a quiet meow, he looked to his owner for more but he paid him no heed.

Rafael smiled softly, taking the glass.

"Come, let's sit" Sonny lead Rafael inside, sitting on the couch and motioning for Barba to sit next to him, which he did.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before Rafael spoke up.

"How long have you wanted to go out with me" He asked, Sonny looked slightly embarrassed.

"You don't have to be a  detective to notice that" he chuckled, sipping at his drink.

Sonny turned slightly pink, and sipped his wine

"Its fine,  it's kinda cute actually"

At this Sonny blushed harder, "A year  or so" he mumbled.

Rafael smiled a bit, but hid it  by taking a sip of his whiskey. "If it makes you feel any better I've probably been pining for you for longer" He chuckled.

Sonny laughed at this quietly, "Wanna bet?" he joked. "During the moustache or after?" he asked

"Oh god, please never again remind me of your awful moustache"

"I thought it looked good"

"It made you look like a cheap pornstar from the eighties"

"I bet teenage you would've jumped at the chance to sleep with a pornstar back then"

Barba just laughed, and Sonny laughed with him. Both men unconsciously leaned closer to each other. Sonny would never be sure if it was them being comfortable with eachother, or him being slightly more confident (due to the alcohol from dinner and  the drinks now), or a bit of both that made him do it but he closed that gap between them after a moment of  silence, by pressing his lips to Rafaels and kissing him,  softly and slowly.

Rafael kissed back after a moment of surprise. Sparks flew between them and Sonny was astonished that  the other would kiss back. Soon enough, the  drinks were abandoned and Sonny deepened the kiss, moving closer.

That endeavor, however, soon devolved into Sonny kinda straddling the ADA and them hardcore making out, Rafels hands in Sonny's hair, removing it from the hold that the detectives hair gel had it in, and Sonny's arms around Rafaels waist, keeping the pair close.

By Sonny's standards, this was probably the best make out session her ever had the pleasure of being involved in, and judging by the way it was going he was hopefully going to be experiencing it much more.

[Rollin' in the deep] carisi how was ur date

did you guys talk wistfully about everything and nothing while staring into each others eyes

[Sonny days] that is the cheesiest thing ive ever heard

and me and my sister once talked for an entire hour in just cheese puns

[Rollin' in the deep] pffft

[Sonny days] getting back on topic

it was fine

normal first date stuff

we kissed

[Rollin' in the deep] a kiss?

thats nothing

tell me when u fuck

[Sonny  days] haha

even though you'll probably be the first one i tell

[Rollin' in the deep] fuck yeaaaahhh

give me those relationship deets or i will die

i've watched you 2 pine for each other for too long, i need to know everything

[Sonny  days] yeah yeah, ill tell you more tomorrow its too fuckin late for this shit

night rollins

[Rollin' in the deep] night carisi

[tumblunni]

Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN

[dont-give-money-to-jkrowling]

Remus Lupin in HBP : notes

hey guys ! i am currently trying to reread the hp series, hoping to gain a better understanding of remus’ character. i started with this book bc it was physically closer to me than the other ones and i hate moving.

i will transcribe all these messy notes in a fully detailed and well explained analysis, but first i thought i would post the notes i took from the book bc they are fun and very extensive, so maybe other people can then use them for their analysis of the character ( if you do, please credit me )

warning : they are, however, not very academic. i tried not to get subjective, or at least to state the facts before to add my own reactions. also, i read the book in french so i wasn’t able to quote the book directly and also sometimes i nickname dumbledore “dumbie the meanie”

oh and also a lot of these were written late when i was half asleep so my english is probably terrible and they might not always make sense.

and finally : i swear a lot. and capitalize a lot. get ready.

- Molly mentions that he comes to visit the Weasley household

- Hermione mentions that he tried to make Tonks feel better about Sirius’ death ( including the fact that she didn’t manage to defeat Bellatrix therefore stopping her from killing him ) what a sweet and gentle bean

- first actual apparition in chapter 6 : Harry says his clothes look even more miserable than ever, that he seems too thin and depressed and that he had a lot of white hair SOMEBODY HUGS THAT CHILD

- also he talks about an ex death eater that had been killed and says « i’m surprised he survived an entire year after leaving the death eaters ; if i remember correctly regulus only lasted a few days » which shows that he knows a lot more about regulus’ death than everybody else – makes quite a lot of sense

- literally can’t stop speaking about the war and people who died and how things aren’t looking up for their side

- we see that a lot of protection spells and such are against werewolves : while most of them are scams, i wouldn’t be surprised there was a lot of silver going around at the time, which isn’t a good sign for remus’ safety and health ( mental and physical )

- draco says fenrir greyback is a friend of his family – was he possibly a friend of the blacks ? I need answers

- at hogwarts, harry says that he hoped lupin would write to him, but that he didn’t. He seems disappointed

- he spends christmas with the weasleys ! Why is no one talking about this friendship

- when harry sees him, he thinks he looks skinnier and more miserable than ever. I guess dumbledore is too busy getting harry ready to die to buy him some FREAKING FOOD

- also even on christmas eve in the middle of some bloody party he stays by himself near the fire and looks depressed, he only starts partaking in the conversation when the war is mentionned

- says dumbie the meanie sent him with the werewolves where he was unable to communicate with anyone. He also says ( will have to check in the english version ) that the werewolves are « his pears and equals » in a probably self pitying way

- harry says he seems bitter about having been asked to do this job. ( again, need original text ) but he also appears to be upset to be seen as the token werewolf here

- as soon as he realizes he sounds bitter he tries to smile and says he isn’t complaining and that it’s true that he should do this job and that it is necessary blablabla much BS

- he says other werewolves have a hard time trusting him bc he lived with wizards and they had to steal and kill to eat ( bc… you obviously look… so well fed… and privileged… )

- when harry asks him who Greyback is, he visibly tenses , but when he is the one to mention him ( talking about his mission ) he seems pretty normal

- ALSO he apparently has to see Greyback for his mission what the fork dumbie

- says greyback wants to create an army to overpower the wizarding world sounds festive and also that werewolves have a right to blood and should seek revenge on « normal people »

- seems surprinsingly open to discussing how he got bitten ? Like harry asks if it was when he was a kid and remus just roll on about what happened and his feelings good for him

- for a long time he thought the werewolf who bite him had done it by accident and felt sorry for them and apparently learnt the truth much later HOW DID YOU LEARN IT SOUNDS SO ANGSTY

- when harry says remus is normal and just has a « problem » it reminds him of james and he immediatly starts laughing his heart out this is both nice and really sad

- then starts sharing precious childhood memories and cheers up once again this is both nice and sad

- after that he jokes a bit and wow only a mention of james and his childhood made that sad lonely man so happy i want to cry

- AND MORE AND MORE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ABOUT THE MARAUDERS

- talks a lot about james but avoids mentioning sirius even when harry tries to bring him up and doesnt even come close to talking about peter

- apparently he got a weasley sweater for christmas this is the cutest thing ever

- remus confirms once again that he isn’t speaking to anyone and probably avoids human contact as much as humanly possible this boi needs a good old therapist

- harry considers remus a patronus expert ??? chill just bc he thaught you that doesn’t mean he wrote his thesis on it

- but apparently he did bc guess who knows exactly why your patronus would change ???

- gets a bit awkward when tonks’ patronus is mentioned and is less at ease with words than usually. Also talks very slowly ( to remember when writing pining remus !! )

- hermione asks about him at hogwarts after the holidays PEOPLE CARE REMUS STOPS AVOIDING EVERYONE

- HOW COULD I FORGET TO MENTION THAT WHEN SNAPE IS MENTIONED HE IS LIKE « YA SURE HE RUINED MY LIFE AND THE ONE OF EVERY OTHER WEREWOLF IN THE COUNTRY BUT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT HE MADE ME THIS POTION »

- also he says harry’s feelings of hate towards snape come from the old predjudice inherited from james are fucking with me 1) hate justified 2) he literally used the m slur against lily and took part in racist bullying becoming later a facist and 3) i dont really think james had the time to teach harry that snape was a bad guy do you ? #calledout

- tonks hints that remus isn’t giving her any news about, for example, whether he’s alive or not. Remus really ? Bad manners.

- when Harry looks at all the detention’s files, he says Remus’ and Peter’s names were only occasionnally associated with the ones of James and Sirius, who were much more punished. Prank example : inflating another student’s head

- so this is more about greyback than remus but he talks really freely about biting children ( which must have been joyful to hear about poor lil remus ) and other death eaters hex him ? They never hex each other ? So they probably feel pretty entitled to hexing any werewolf that come their way

- also something about this attack bothers me. Dumbledore said he asked for the order members in hogsmeade to come to defend hogwarts but why was remus here then ? And later, when he tells about the battle, he says he saw greyback but there is no mention of them fighting or something yet greyback was supposed not to know remus was a spy for the order ? What is going on here i need answers

- i think remus’ bite mark was probably somewhere on his neck bc that’s where greyback wanted to bite harry. Does remus have to wear constant turtlenecks to hide it ? Omg

- REALLY SNAPE ? When they are both fighting after he killed dumbie he wants to run off and harry calls him a coward and he answers “oh yeah well when your dad bullied me it was always four against one so ha who’s the coward now” like WOW i do not appreciate you and oh also i guess possible information about the fact that the marauders acted together against snape but it’s kind of a contradiction with snape’s own memory where it’s only sirius and remus ? Guess snape is just making things up

- at the school hospital, remus has to stay with bill, who just got attacked by greyback, and that cannot be fun

- people don’t dare to say the word werewolf around remus for some reason

- HOW DOES REMUS KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO BILL AFTER HIS HALF BITE WHAT DID HE WITNESS WHILE SPYING

- when he learns that dumbledore died, he has a complete breakdown ( well he falls to a chair and hides his face in his hands and looks really distressed ) and harry says it’s the first time he sees remus losing control of himself. People underestimate how loyal to dumbie the meanie remus was

- he justified snape for a very long time but as soon as he learns he kills dumbledore ? He goes full ‘i hate him’ mode and says he has been a death eater spy the whole time

- he also used to say snape versus marauders was just old school rivalries but now he says « um, snape hated james » so really a lot of his attitude was really influenced by dumbledore

- as he is himself completely devastated, he takes time to comfort everyone and says « nah it’s not your fault » to everyone who blames themselves

- says a death curse nearly hit him during the battle. That is not a part of his character analysis but damn

- he « recovers » pretty quickly from his breakdown. Like they say his tone is harsh but that’s all lol wish i could get over something that fast

- nah kidding he’s probably just used to all the ‘don’t let them see, don’t let them knoooow’

- MOVING ON TO THAT REMUS/TONKS SCENE I DISLIKE

- as soon as tonks opens her mouth to talk about them dating, he ‘suddenly tenses’

- OKAY WHAT THE FUCK when remus tries to say that he doesn’t want to date tonks she grabs him, yells+ at him and shakes him down ? WHAT THE HELL BACK OFF

- apparently, when having a conversation about his love life, remus loves to stare at all this beautiful floor

- apparently remus predicted that the board members would try and close off hogwarts

- at the funeral he is holding tonks’ hand

[hyeseong-hu]

hello!! im evelyne (◡‿◡✿) and ok confession time: i wrote half of this at 5 am half-asleep and the other half just rn when i woke up so,,,,, if none of this makes sense yeahhhhhhh. i dont blame any of u if u just quit reading halfway lmao i wont take it personally i promise. anywAY standard rules apply, if u’d like to plot, give this a like and i’ll shimmy my way over to u~~

*✦. — is that { kim seulgi } ? no, that’s just { min hyeseong }, a { 23 } year old { criminal }. the { non-binary } has been described as { convivial } but is also known to be { enigmatic }. { they } are currently majoring in { theatre } and they were sent here because they { committed identity theft }, yikes ! { evelyne, she/her, 20, pst }

they/them pronouns por favor!!

middle child (of 3) w/o any of the #middlechildproblemz

they’re treated a lot like how the maknae of the fam is treated, only instead of cute nicknames its “dokkaebi” or “mul gwishin” r ip 

but its ok hyeseong calls them names right back

family goalz amirite??

they talk shit abt each other but they love each other it’s gr8. life @ home wasnt bad at all

theatre appealed to them bc they can p much be whoever they wanted to be

or who other ppl thought/wanted hyeseong to be

so up till ~abt high school they presented as “female” just bc it was convenient. even tho hyeseong loves loves l o v e s drama, they aint abt that life when the drama revolves around them, so they figured that letting ppl misgender them was just the best thing for them at the time

it made seong a biiiit uncomfortable, but it wasn’t anything they couldnt handle. or at least they thought so,,,,

they compensated for it by auditioning for less traditional roles in school plays/musicals

but bc most theatre roles still p much stick to the gender binary, the roles they did take were mostly “male” roles

hyeseong would say it was bc guys just had more interesting parts which y’know,,,, if you’ve seen at least one play/musical, (most) male characters were just better fleshed out that’s how it was. soooo technically it wasn’t a lie and they were good at it too, so the casting director just let it happen

lowkey got popular bc of it bc ppl would say they were so good at acting they could pull off male roles better than ‘actual’ dudes 

but then

their last year of hs is when the rumors started

abt what roles they’d take, how they’ve never been seen using the school restrooms or changing in the locker rooms, etc.

their fam found out abt it thru their older sister and everyone gave hyeseong an earful bc wth y are u letting this happen???? r u dumb 

just own it who cares

and so they did

hyeseong didnt officially come out bc lol it’s none of ppl’s business tbh but they stopped denying it any time someone asked. just shrugged every time and said “sure”

not everyone was as accepting as their fam obvi and the popularity from their prev years didnt last but????? seong was a lot happier 

any time they were the subject of rumors after that, they just play along for the shits and giggles

and that’s literally how to best describe hyeseong? after accepting their gender identity for what it was, they literally gave no fucks abt how ppl saw them anymore

does as they pleases

committed identity theft just bc they were bored one day lmfao and thought it was a ~unique~ challenge to their acting ability 

wouldve gotten away w/ it too had they not accidentally confessed while totally plastered whoops

has no real opinion abt the whole criminal discrimination @ hongdae??? as long as hyeseong can still do what they want, it’s not rly a concern of theirs. so far the rules havent rly affected them yet but if/when they do????? idk man we’ll see

just real friendly in general - can be a bit of a troll sometimes but seong’s not someone who’s openly antagonistic 

doesnt want to deal w/ drama remember? tho if it’s other ppl’s drama.........

usually has ppl fooled when they first met them, surprising ‘em when they find out they’re a criminal

doesn’t flaunt it but wont deny it if asked either

always has a diff story of what crime they committed when others ask tho LOL (ex. murdered somebody, robbed a bank, committed tax fraud, etc.)

ur pal when u need somebody to pretend to be ur ex/stalker/whatever bc hey, acting practice ayoooo

ok this is getting too long now im cutting it off here

btw if ur wondering what inspired hyeseong it’s this video pls watch it i guarantee u wont regret it

thank u to anyone that actually read all of this im sorry for the word vomit yikes