#but I'm too lazy and I don't want to post it now
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have a doodle
#I have a lot of new artwork#but I'm too lazy and I don't want to post it now#maybe tomorrow#artists on tumblr#ibispaint art#rain world#rain world oc#rw oc
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Can you into more on Kirishima's character and why you think he has the mentality of "If I'm not the one being bullied, then it's fine."? You mentioned this in one of your posts and I want to know more about it, even better if you can apply this to class 1-a as a whole while providing scenarios of it
Hi @jarierei
First off, I don't have panels of the scenes anymore. I saved on my phone, post here and then delete it. But I will explain the best I can.
So Kiri, in his background, is a kid who suffered bullying for his weak quirk and he wanted to be a hero (I have people pointed out how Kiri could be considered a less version of Izu as the bullying, while bad, seems tamer if compared to what Izu endured and we don't know for how long that begins. Was a temporary thing or not? Bc Izu was abused since he was 4 years old. No pain Olympic here) and admired Mina Ashido who, in his own words, is a great hero in the make (she face a less giant Macchia)
We see he doesn't like bullying...bc he endured bulling. We see how he change his hair color and applied to UA. We never saw if he bullies give him a hard time or not, he never seem affected by it as fanon loves to say ...and even menage to strike a friendship with BK (somehow)
Bk...who tried to kill Izu in broad daylight. Who calls him useless (way before Izu claimed the name, I hate this and I hate ochako for that too.) and tried to kill Izu again (to be fair, on that part Kiri was a bit shaken by that but it's only that and he still hangs out with BK)
"he thought they were rivals" it's so fucked up and lazy...feels an excuse to justify hanging out with a shitty person. "Yes, Bob beat up Mary but Mary cheat on him so he is justified in beat her up"
But don't forget.....BK assault and rob Kami- treated as a gag- and Kiri didn't react at all. He took the money and has no questions. He has no questions regarding BK.
"bad writing on Hori's part" I agree, it's bad writing bc he is cuddling his beloved and by this ended up sacrificing everyone and everything. Kiri was supposed to be anti bullying...but he is hanging out with the biggest bully/abuser and ...nothing changes.
You wanna a scenario ? Ok
We have canon.
Kirishima has lend some money to BK, who is rich, and for some reason is asking for the money now. He needs for something and BK, is a rich boy, decides that to pay Kiri back....he will rob Kami's money and...Kiri is fine with that. He got the money.
Now....
If it was the opposite.
Bk needs to pay someone back and BK stole his money? Then Kiri would have something to say. "No more bullying"
Kirishima became bk's cheerleader and it's sad to see.
#hori is a bad writer#a really bad one#mha critical#bnha critical#anti bakugo katsuki#anti bakugou#kirishima critical#A1 critical
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a lot of clipping to fix, but hey I got it moving at least! I'll get the Telvanni robe properly physic'd if it's the last thing I do >:0
#last i checked the vanilla hdt clothes on the nexus didn't cover solstheim content#but i wanted to finally learn to do proper hdt bones myself anyway so its fine :)#this was a nightmarish mess before i separated the black underskirt to its own group#now it swishes around nicely and collides without going through the red outer skirt#i still haven't figured out the crouching/sneaking problem where it'll sometimes phase through the thighs like they don't exist#but that seems to happen to other people's outfits too so maybe it's not just mine? idk yet lol#hmmm i think that back flap thing with the gold trim is gonna have to be separated too. it stretches out weirdly :/#also. should the scarf get to move? maybe just the dangling ends?#bc the rest can't really move since there's nothing under the scarf. it's just glued at the edges to the chest of the outfit#which is good bc it's optimized well so the game isn't rendering the neck part of the robes that you don't even see#but I'd have to create new faces on the mesh to fill in the unseen gaps like i did when splitting the skirts up#and also i'm too lazy to map that new fancy chest area and draw out the missing texture with all the telvanni swirls :'(#help me motivation gods#modding stuff#my posts#i want nelly to be able to swish around prettily like anyone else <3#guys deserve some physic'd outfit love too
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contains : princess / fem!reader, head knight!gojo, implied secret relationship. this is just... angst i guess with a sprinkle of fluff... overprotective gojo *moans* this is about 1k of brainrot word vomit hhhhhhhhhhhhh :D not proofread cause i'm lazy, pls ignore any mistakes!
time moved by far too slow for satoru. for someone whose day passed in a blink of an eye with all of his responsibilities, today was far too slow. it felt like watching paint dry. it felt like a snail moving across the pavement. it felt like a century had passed before the bright light of the sun finally started to set. dusk slowly turning into night, and as the moon took its place in the night sky, was he able to escape from his duties and finally able to walk to your bedroom, hands held in tight fists by his sides.
"you two may leave. the king wants me to be stationed here for tonight." a lie. but the two guards didn't know any better. why would they ever think their head knight would ever lie to them in the first place.
what they don't know, won't hurt them, was what gojo told himself, watching the two salute him and proceeding to walk down the corridor far away from your bedroom. he waited till they were out of sight first and then listened out for the clunking noises the armour made as they walked down the stairs. when it was finally silent, he opened your door, shutting it behind him quickly.
you almost let out a scream at the sudden intrusion into your space. fear from the attack on your life only a night prior still too fresh in your mind. but the white mop of hair on top of the males head had you sighing in relief, aware that it was not an intruder but in fact satoru. but that relief didn't stay for too long. you were well aware that the king would have placed guards outside your door to keep you safe after what had happened and you could not afford to let your relationship with satoru be revealed just yet.
"satoru, what are you doing here? my father–" your worried whisper was cut short rather abruptly.
"fuck your father." if satoru was in a better mindset than he is now, he never would have spoken of the king, your father, in such a way and he's never been more glad there were no guards standing post outside your bedroom to judge his vulgar use of words towards the monarch either.
"are you hurt? did they touch you?" immediately, he's bombarding you with questions, eyebrows furrowed deeply as his eyes start to dart over your body. inspecting you. "would you let me have a look at you. please?"
you nod slightly, but turn your head to the right side a little, fearing what he'll do when he sees it.
his takes large but quiet strides towards you, hands that shook with fear now reaching out to hold your wrists. he inspects your skin, slowly, letting his hands and eyes travel across your skin, and it all seems fine until he brushes the strands of hair out of your face and finally notices the freshly dried blood on your cheek. it looked deep. no, it was deep. gojo was no stranger to cuts and bruises, even with a simple glance he could tell it was deep. it would leave a scar behind and it would take time to heal.
"i..." he inhales shakily, trying to keep his voice low as he could. an attempt to keep himself calm, to keep himself from lashing out. "i-i should have been there."
"satoru..." you began, only to be cut off again.
"i should have fucking been there." remorse. that's all satoru could feel. remorse for not being by your side like he had promised many moons earlier as you two hid from the maids attempting to prepare you for bed. remorse for not being by your side to keep you from harm. but hidden in that remorse, was also anger. anger that anyone even dared to touch a princess – not just any princess. his princess. the very princess that would become his queen in the future. the very princess that should have everyone in the land bowing to her. the princess he loves and swore to keep out of harms way.
"i should have fucking protected you. shit– i should have been there. i should have been protecting you like i said i would... i'm sor–"
"toru. i'm okay. please look at me." you place a gentle had over his chest, albeit over his armour, you swear you're able to feel how furiously his heart is beating. it doesn't take a genius to see all the emotions swimming in his eyes.
worry. hurt. pain. regret.
"satoru - the strongest knight in the kingdom... my favourite knight - gojo. i am okay. i promise you." the praise earns a brief smile from him before it fades, his thumb brushing the deep cut on your cheek ever so gently but it makes you inhale sharply anyway. it causes gojo to flinch, withdrawing his warm hands immediately but you reach out for his wrist with both hands desperately. "n-no! it... it jus' hurts because it's fresh... please, i just– i just need to feel you, toru. please, don't be afraid to touch me."
it was all gojo needed to hear from you. all he needed was your permission to touch you and he does. he cups your face in his hands, watching as the tension and stress leaves your body, jaw loosening and eyebrows relaxing. he watches as your eyes close for a few seconds before fluttering open. you place a kiss against the palm of his hand. "will you please stay the night with me? i'm... afraid they will come back." gojo watches you tense up at the mention of the men who tried to hurt you last night. his response is immediate.
"of course i will." his thumb finds its way to the wrinkles in the middle of your eyebrows, rubbing the spot a little. "do not frown so much. you will start looking older than you are, princess."
his teasing earns a smile from you, and he's glad when he sees you soften in his hold. the both of you stay silent for a while, finding comfort in the silence and each other. you've always felt safe with satoru, and tonight is no different.
"princess," he begins, pulling you in by your waist ever so slightly, your body pressed up against his armour. "i swear on my life, i will kill any bastard who dares lay so much as a finger on you again. i promise you. i'll execute them myself." you do not bother replying to him, instead sealing the promise he's made by standing on your tippy toes to press your lips against his.
#was supposed to be inspired by that one scene from the glory (iykyk) but it didn't go the way i wanted to this happened instead lmaooo#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#if this is shit please don't come @ me i've never written straight up fluff / angst before and i'm so nervous abt posting this weeeeeee#going into hiding now#i need to fix my tags but i am far too lazy so sorry about that
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Woops my hand slipped and I drew them again
#we had to do the annual 'spring cleaning' of the house and it took 2 whole days#(lift the carpets. clean all the windows. bring back the 'summer' clother and swap them with the 'winter' ones)#but im back for now. although Easter is coming up in 2 weeks so i don't know how much I'll be able to post then#we'll see#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#jim kirk#james t kirk#captain kirk#mlp#my little pony#spony#sponie#jimony#top tier names if you ask me#spirk#fanart#art#traditional art#I wanted to post this yesterday but I forgot and now I'm too lazy to 'correct' the first few tags. oh well
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Instead of reblogging posts, I have the bad habit of saving them to my drafts... 40 and counting help
#text post#they need to get out of my drafts so bad#but i don't want to spam with reblogs#also i'm too lazy to make a secondary blog right now#so uh... yeah... sighs
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Batb: Other Than Human - Themes stuff (& why I Called It That)
That's right folks, the self-indulgent "throwing any concept I like at the wall and haphazardly mixing together what sticks" au rewrite Thing has Actual Themes! That kind of happened accidentally but they are so real for that so let's get into it.
The Main Narratives Themes Trio of the story now all also embody expanded themes about being an "Other", when being a person is not enough to be properly considered human- more specifically of a neurodivergent/queer girlhood type flavor.
Summary is that it's called "Other Than Human" because the prominent theming is about being considered something other than human due to not fitting the mold of the 'norm'.
[This is a long one so details & specific character stuff are under the cut<3]
Amalure has the greatest departure from her original counterparts thematic placing, so we'll start with her. Amalure retains Gaston's social standing, reputation, etc. But it's of course not quite the same- because she is a woman, and she is not revered for being the picture of ideal womanhood/femininity. Instead, she excels in masculinity, but remains firm that she is and always will be a woman. So, to justify the desire & awe people have for her, they dehumanize her: She doesn't need to follow the Rules because she is outside of them. Amalure is not a person: she is a symbol, a figure, an object. A legend, a folksong, a modern myth. Her skills are not skills they are blessings, inherent, a mundane magic or supernatural. Despite having grown up in Villeneuve for her entire life, she is considered exotic, and is practically, if not actually, fetishized. And through all of this, the status quo and social order gets to be retained without question, and she gets to exist as the exception that proves the rule, rather than the Undesirable that she'd be marked as otherwise.
Amalure is fine with this, because this dehumanization is her status quo: She doesn't really view herself as a person either, she is defined by her relationship to other people, by who she is to them. Amalure has never been a person to anybody: Growing up she was never just a girl, never just Amalure: She was a girl with a mans brain, an embodiment of her fathers greatest achievements, an embodiment of her mothers worst mistakes, she is her fathers daughter or her mothers daughter, but not her own. (and she never both, it is either or, mother or father, never both, never parents.)
Princess Eve/The Beast is the other end of this, of operating through her dehumanization. Upon being cursed, she adheres to what societies have oft wanted to happen to their Undesirables: Hide away and never be seen by the public again. It is entirely self-inflicted, as most of her suffering truly is. She operates not through others dehumanizing view of her, but her dehumanizing view of herself and its warping of how she believes others view her. Because, well, the servants still view her as a person. I mean, they're still human- under the new object forms. And the separation of humanity that is easy to slip into on matters of royalty is awfully minimal as well; they watched her grow up, and she grew up among them.
The girl's bratty, spoiled, temperamental, and is a ball of horrid consequences of the shallow views and ideals learned from surrounding nobility. But she's also the girl that fell asleep listening to Cogsworth explain the many technicalities to managing servants; because she was stubborn in asserting her authority as the mistress of the castle, and thus she Must have say over its goings ons. But the majordomo's voice can be awfully soothing when he's not high-strung on anxiety, and it's hard to pay attention when you don't understand what's being discussed, so its all going in one ear and out the other. And She's Lumiere's 'Evie', who was so amused when Lumiere would draw on a little mustache when dancing the male roles so the princess could learn some duo dances, or because she didn't look very "waiter-like" (because Eve wasn't entirely sure what a maître d' did, but it seemed to have something to do with waiters), and who got annoyed every time the dance teacher/maître d' would warn her not to hurt her body in her pursuits, because it seemed so silly, why would anyone do that? And she's the girl who dragged Mrs. Potts to have tea with her, because she made the best tea and as princess she would have only the best; and if you're going to have tea you may as well have a tea party, and you can't really have a party of one, but two isn't much of a party either so she's going to drag Babette away from her duties too, since the maid was so elegant and thus would be perfect.
Honestly, the girl probably would've turned out fine if she was raised by just the servants. But they weren't the only forces in her life: she's a princess, so she's got to host and interact with important people and learn how to Be noble which isn't something any of the servants can teach her. And it is under the pressures and eyes of nobility, is in mixing and learning their social rules, that learns the lessons that will lead to her curse: That to be considered human and treated as such, one must look human. And to be such as a woman meant to look beautiful, like the ideal. As a woman, to be worthy is to be beautiful and vice versa. And even if she does not, she must have some way to serve men. Otherwise, she is nothing. Eve met these requirements well, and where she did not yet her authority as princess covered. So when a beggar woman is at her doorstep, the princess turns her away: because she is old, ugly, so long past her 'prime'- there is no worth to her anymore. There is no point caring for her future.
Helene stands as both the middle ground and inverse to the other two. She is an Other by virtue of her mind, she is Objectifiable by virtue of her beauty. She sits on the precipice between Undesirable and Desired, seeming nearly apathetic to where she lands despite popular encouragement to embrace or smother aspects of herself. Helene is quite sure she's a person like anyone else, thank you, and is frankly frustrated and a bit weirded out that others seem to have a hard time getting the memo- she doesn't like or want to assume the worst, though, so maybe she just missed another confusing untold social rule or something. I mean, the local triplets really do seem to be advising in good faith- they really do think of her as one of them to an extent (for reasons Helene is yet to know); they just don't understand her.
When Amalure pursues her, there's an unspoken aspect to the deal of marriage she proposes: Helene will get a secured place on the in of the community, a secure standing the promises people no longer questioning or trying to encourage her to no longer be herself. But Helene just isn't interested in Amalure like that, and she also sees what the real trade-off of that security is; that uncomfortable dehumanization that is exactly what Helene doesn't want to deal with anymore. If Amalure is fine living with it than she is free to do as she pleases, but the huntress doesn't seem to understand what Helene could possibly have a problem with- and it's not like they can discuss it, because it's unspoken, and you're not supposed to speak the unspoken things, because they're unspoken for a reason- even if you don't know what that reason is. Helene knows that rule, at least.
When Helene meets the Beast, she regards her as she does any other. It's plain as day that the Beast has a humanity to her, whether she's really "human" or not- she thinks and she feels, and that's enough for Helene.
Because Helene grew up raised by a single dad who she got most of her brain workings from, and he is a man of compassion and science. Off he'd send his beloved daughter to go and question and figure out the world for herself, to experiment and learn and become whatever she desires. Off to bed he'd send her to tell her fairy tales and have their lessons of love and compassion and humanity understood as she drifted off to sleep. Helene was never Odd with her father, never Other, in fact they were so easily two of a kind. It was so jarring, hearing people imply Tyndare less than sane; his logic paths were so easy to follow- but apparently his voice gruffs enough that others have a hard time understanding what he's saying sometimes, so that's where things seem to get lost in translation she guesses. People became jarring in other ways as she grew up too, because suddenly there seemed to be lots of social things she was supposed to know or be but didn't and wasn't, and it became very apparent very quickly that she was an Other among her village.
Overall: Eve & Helene get to go through these themes through the main plot, and post curse-breaking is when Eve gets to properly deal with the internalized issues and whatnot. Like she's learned beauty doesn't matter when it comes to love, and shouldn't decide whether or not someone should be cared about, and Helene loves her despite her having been beastly and despite her being a failure of a woman- (because she no longer fits the feminine ideal after the curse is broken, and frankly she never will again.) But she's still a Failure Of A Woman and Helene deserves Better Than That! So there's still work to do.
Amalure remains static on this aspect of the narrative until after the battle at the castle, where she does survive! .. barely. and it's later, in an argument with her mother that same night, bleeding out on the kitchen floor, when she asserts that she's her daughter too, not just her fathers. she has always been her daughter, always will be, she is the daughter of both of them, because that's not something that just switches or turns on and off- and it's an entire rant that I will not recite here, but the important part is the assertion that she is, always has been, always will be, the daughter of both her parents at once- that's the first little step for her arc of recognizing her own individual personhood and whatnot.
#Amalure's mother is a CHARACTER alright#she has a ref I need to make too...#fun fact Amalure falls asleep in her childhood bed that night being convinced the last thing she did was yell at her mom#and acutely aware that there is no comfort for her in this house.#Wire monkey mother frfr#anyways uh hi.#how obvious is it that the person making this is a she/it ND sapphic???#because Hi hello that is I#Yes Helene is VERY definitely Neurodivergent.#I can easily say she's autistic because the traits she displays are most commonly associated w/ it#but tbh I don't have autism and I didn't give her those traits with specifically autism in mind or research#so she's just.. generally Not Neurotypical.#project whatever you want onto her as you will#Fun fact the physique change Eve gets after being uncursed is me finding a justification for me basing part of her design on thinking that#Amalure seeing her and immediately having the Worst gender envy of her life since her dad died#while Eve is having like the worst body image issues of her life#would be kinda funny lowk#Also I might have a type but shhhhhhh#anywayss uhhh#gem stop yapping in ur tags#batb: other than human#ramblez brambles#doodlez#I just did some mild editing w/ the ref art cuz I'm too lazy to make new shit for this and I didn't want this to Just be a text post#Princess Eve#Helene#Amalure#sorry of any of this is rambly/hard to read I randomly woke up at like 2:30am#idk when I started writing this post but idr doing much of anything beforehand besides making the little banner thing#and it's... 6:13am now.
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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they make me ILL your honor [they/them pronouns for vrisryn]
aka i'm coping with the angst i'm writing about them by taking 100000 pictures of them being tender. and by coping i mean making myself feel worse slkjsdlkfjsdlkj
#bg3#sporescar#astarion ancunin#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x oc#bg3 photography#i don't have freecam right now because i took it off for multiplayer and have been too lazy to reinstall it all (reshade is a pain)#and it's prolly for the best cause just these shots alone had me wanting to throw up#shoutout to the kisses replacer mod for allowing me this heartache#i hate that it made their headpiece disappear but i'm too busy wanting to d!e over how they make me feel to care en#mine#my posts#virtual photography#the way he looks at them makes me [loud painful groaning with vague hand gestures]#i took these instead of doing my homework or finishing my fic chapter oops
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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erm. what the scallop
sketchbook scribble of the @carpwood
#apologies if you don't want people drawing you in my defense i do not remember doing it but apparently it happened#i'm too lazy to post on my art blog at this point. unless it's like fully finished and rendered it goes on here now
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The centre cannot hold.
#I fear I'm falling apart#I cannot *do* anything#beyond the merest humdrum of the day-to-day#and my actual job#though hardly in a sterling fashion#I oscillate wildly between self-congratulation for protecting my energy#and self-flagellation for being so lazy#I feel like I'm spiraling around a singularity#as more and more pieces of me collapse in upon themselves#and I wonder if this place is next#some hours I want to post again#some hours I want to delete#it's an open question which one will prevail#I'm probably too weak to actually leave#but if it happens#I wish the best for all of you#don't whether it would be good for me or not#...right now I don't know what would be good for me#and I don't seem to be strong enough to do any of it anyway#free floating anxiety
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Willow Universe Fics
Far Beneath the Shallow Sea
Status: Completed
Summary: On their way back across the Shattered Sea, the group encounters a terrifying creature that has its eyes set on Jade. But this siren isn't all that she seems and saving Jade will require help from something even stranger.
Read it here
Return to Nockmaar
Status: Completed
Summary: With new information from the now rescued Graydon, the team returns to Nockmaar to search for a possible weapon against the Wyrm. But the cursed castle stirs up old questions for Jade and Kit and holds unseen dangers for all of them.
Read it here
If We Get Forever
Status: Completed
Summary: After a fierce battle with the Wyrm’s army, Kit and Jade take a moment to recover and end up thinking of the future. Though keeping the promise they make to each other is not without obstacles, it will ultimately light their way forward through the war and beyond.
Read it here
Middle image credit: Hgstuff
The Other Side of Eternity
Status: Completed
With the Wyrm defeated, our heroes embark on a new quest into Skellin to search for Madmartigan beyond the light. But nothing is as they remember it and the mines may be even more cursed than before.
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Alternate Universe Fics
When You’re Lost in the Darkness, Look for the Light
Status: Completed
Summary: Twenty years after a global mind-altering fungal outbreak plunged the world into chaos, pockets of survivors are still searching for a cure. Kit has spent the last 7 years hidden by the Fireflies in a secret underground lab, her body the key to unlocking a vaccine. Jade is a Firefly, dedicated to making the world a better place alongside what’s left of her family. When scientists on the other side of the continent make a breakthrough with Kit’s blood samples, their lives collide, and they set out on a perilous journey for the future.
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Middle and far right images credit: Hgstuff
Burn it All Down
Status: Completed
Summary: Jade Claymore and Kit Tanthalos have dreamed of becoming firefighters since they were kids. After a year of training behind her mother’s back, Kit is finally ready to join Jade and fulfill their dream together. But shortly before she graduates the pair of them stumble upon a deadly design flaw hidden by Tanthalos Towers, the construction company Kit’s grandmother started and which her mother expects her and her brother Airk to take over.
Lies going back two decades tie Kit and Jade’s families together in a deadly cover-up. As the two of them navigate life as first responders and the flame that’s been kindling between them since they were teenagers, they’re drawn into a conspiracy that may be more dangerous than an inferno.
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Middle image credit: Hgstuff
One Night in October
On their way back from a family visit, a turn of events leaves Kit and Jade stranded in the wild. As night falls and the weather grows colder, the pair soon realize that someone in the woods is hunting them.
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Status: completed
A Snowfall Kind of Love
New in town and searching for answers about her past, Jade goes out for breakfast with her friend Elora- and comes face to face with someone she didn’t expect.
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Status: completed
Image credit: geek-and-nina
#super thanks to hgstuff for all the great images they share!#and adobe stock#and flickr lmao#apologies for my shitty headers#I'm a writer not an artist#but I wanted some images to go with the fics#don't mind me just making something to link to on my page#so all my fics are in one place :)#Will add as I go#may add my short fics too#but oh boy that's a lot of headers to do#holy shit I figured out how to code it#the internet is beautiful#now I am master of my bio#just sticking this here for now until I post my next one lol#because I am too lazy to make a post to say that ToSoE is done lol
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#wak#negative /#tag vent /#man.. why is everything so draining#like.. fr it seems like I can't do Anything for an extended amount of time without burning out and wanting to quit#like. when I was little it was my absolute dream to be able to do nothing but draw all day every day but#now as an adult the thought of it stresses me out and makes me sick to my stomach#I used to get so excited about getting commissions but#now every time I see that someone's commissioned me I just dread doing it as if it's something I'm getting graded for in two days#(note that this isn't a slight against people who've commed me by any means. if you've commed me you're a saint)#(but. that's just how I feel and I wish it wasn't)#which is why comms are closed rn and idk when I'm opening them back up#rn I'm doing commission-based editing/proofreading work for a small publishing comp#something that I Also once aspired to do full-time#but.. I'm already kinda getting tired of it? probably bc my current project is 140+ pages that I have to get done in two weeks#like.. it's not Bad and I'm not quitting (I don't have a choice anyway. this is the closest thing I have rn to a consistent-ish job)#but it.. just gets less fun w every manuscript and I hate that#and like... whenever I go out no matter where I am I just want to go back home#I have no 'dream job' anymore. I have no goals. I don't want to go places or do things I just want to be home sleeping#but. as we all know that's not an option in the capitalist hellscape we live in#hell... even if we Didn't live in the hellscape it probably still wouldn't be an option lol#and of course my mom will not hear any of it and just thinks I'm being spoiled and lazy and 'using my aut as an excuse'#and most people including supposed '''''leftists'''' would probably agree with her too#bc 95% of '''"radical communists''''' on here are Adults Aren't Allowed To Exist Outside Of Working And That's How Things Should Be truther#who vocally treat unemployment as a moral failing and as a Bad Person Trait™ inbetween making Capitalism Bad posts#but I'm getting offtopic. Maybe I Am Useless And Lazy And A Leech Or Etc#but what I'm trying to say is I feel like I'm going to be miserable and feel like just a machine no matter what I do#and like I'm never going to have a happy or fulfilling life#and that my only option is to go to sleep never wake up and hope I'm reborn with no mental illnesses or trauma and into a rich family#but.. fat chance.
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tbh the more I think about her the more I wonder if Tiffany is going to wind up more of a side character than an actual Main Character in this series... like if i wind up actually writing as much as i am conceptualizing writing, the distinction might not necessarily matter that much, but i do sort of wonder what i'm going to wind up doing with her lol
#N posts stuff#i like you too#the thing about Tiffany is that she was Built differently than Augustus and the Changeling were. like. the Crux of her character#is Very informed by an internalized ableism in ways that the others Aren't#not that Augustus/Changeling are like Perfectly Content with their lives or anything#(like Augustus' repression is a Kind of internalized ableism; she's also very informed by the fact that she'd Like to come out but Can't#and the Changeling is like. has an Acceptance about the level of support it needs but still doesn't really Like it kind of stuff)#but Tiffany's is Really thread through her character. even though they are friends she does kind of consider herself Apart from them#at least Subconsciously; she is a character who is deeply welded to her masking and cant quite conceptualize why the others don't/can't#in a way that does manifest as a Kind of sense of superiority. in a way that would make her a Very unreliable narrator#like Augustus and Changeling really Get each other and both Respect and Embrace each other fully#whereas Tiffany is Definitely their Friend but. she doesn't Respect them quite the same way?#like she Loves them and accepts them but the whisper of 'well if you Just Tried Harder' holds her back from Embracing them#so i keep like. 'well i don't want to write her POV right now at least bc she is that unreliable narrator and this series is so new#that it might just wind up confusing/unclear what i'm going for' but then i'm like. well am i Ever going to write about her#as much as the others? idk!! it's v funny tho bc you can tell from the 'Lazy' fic that i clearly conceptualized her as A Main Character#given her unceremonious entrance and the unsurprised acceptance of her presence but then i have not written about her since#and now i'm thinking about her like 'do they even hang out that regularly? i'm not sure anymore' lmao
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