bildswoman

[bildswoman]

My mom told me the best story

She was grocery shopping with my dad and was picking up a bunch of canned food. My dad asked why she was getting so much canned food, and my mother with complete sincerity said she was preparing her food storage for trumpmagedon. The other market basket patrons were apparently not super impressed with that statement, but my mom siad she was just trying to be a good mormon.

Anyways, my mom is a very good mormon

[bildswoman]

[bildswoman]

in my search for an lds man who’s not insanely conservative (hard to find on mutual) i suddenly realized that there’s the BYU DEMOCRATS. like the club. why didn’t i think of this sooner

[bildswoman]

Can't tell my parents this, but I'm actually sick of white mormonism. We're a white family, and so a lot of white mormonism gets passed around as if it's common sense, but the second you talk to any non-white mormon you start realizing how racist white mormonism is.

You get white people sincerely believing skin color denotes what sins their ancestors made, and whether or not their ancestral culture is 'worthy' of being seen or respected. Do you have any idea how racist that is?! And then white mormons just assume that's how the world should work, and go on missions to foreign countries to stamp out the local culture! That's not religion, that's white supremacy. That's colonization. That's Nazi behavior.

An example: When I was little and didn't know better, I was shocked that Polynesian members of the church would still get cultural tattoos. White mormonism says any tattoos are bad, and my mom even tried to teach me that tattoos were the mark of Satan. And then... I grew up, both physically and spiritually. I realized: who cares. Tattoos for fun, tattoos for culture, tattoos as memorials and reminders, who the hell cares. Jesus wouldn't give a flying fuck, why should I?

And then I realized as mormons began accepting 'repentant' white people with tattoos, platforming them and honoring them, but turning their nose up at non-whites getting tattoos... it was just racism. It was always racism. It was never about the tattoos, it was about creating an artificial barrier between white people and everyone else.

And I can't tell my parents that. They've not only swallowed the white supremacy pills, they're trying to swallow more. And these aren't inherently racist people, they're just scared that if they don't perform whiteness then they'll get hurt.

[bildswoman]

seeing people discussing the concept of hell and how cruel the idea of eternal punishment is like, wow! i know this belief system you would love if not for your knee-jerk reaction against its name

[bildswoman]

I can't listen to Christmas music at work because I just get too emotional about it and start crying and I can't show weakness in front of the Excel sheet, it'll eat me alive.

[bildswoman]

In scary times, we need all the light we can get... happy holidays and stay safe, loves!

[bildswoman]

i feel like it's absolutely crucial in the social justice world to take "he a little confused but he got the spirit" and similar sentiments/situations as a Win. intent is so much more important than saying it right the first time! if someone is approaching with scuffed language and incorrect terms but they're visibly being as polite as they know how, that person is a friend and should be treated better than what their words might invite in someone else's mouth.

[bildswoman]

My little loves.

Your mama and daddy don't love you anymore because you're a queer Mormon?

I will do it. I will love you.

Your local leaders reject your queerness and throw their hands up in the air?

I don't think you're exasperating. You're not difficult to love. Don't let them tell you that. It's our job to love you, and it's not a hard job!

They just don't want to? They don't know how and are unwilling to learn? They want to make excuses and tell you the way they alienate and reject you is your fault? If you were just more like them, then they would love you?

Don't you do it. Don't you dare make yourself smaller to try and get their love. Anyone who puts you in that position doesn't have love to give you anyway. There's no treat. They're just pretending to throw it and watching you run.

Not on my watch. You come here and get real love from someone who likes you exactly how you are. I will always be one of them, whether you stay in the Church or go.

You deserve that.

[bildswoman]

this guy sucks, I'm going to HUM MY FAVORITE HYMN, SING OUT WITH VIGOR AND VIM

[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-

[bildswoman]

[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-

[bildswoman]

Was Sunday school talking about Elder's Kearon's talk about the Church of Joy and when we got to this quote:

"We do not gather on the Sabbath simply to attend sacrament meeting and check it off the list. We come together to worship. There is a significant difference between the two. To attend means to be present at. But to worship is to intentionally praise and adore our God in a way that transforms us!"

The Spirit slapped me with "You only get what you participate in!"

For us to actually be in the Church of Joy, to actually feel joy in our church and our God, we actually have to be IN the Church of Joy. Just being in the pews does not make us a Christian.

[bildswoman]

Listen, I love "And if we go to hell, we will turn the Devils out of doors and make a heaven of it" as much as the next person, but I feel like we forget about the following lines, which hit just as hard: "What do we care where we are if the society be good? I don’t care what a man’s character is, if he’s my friend, a true friend, I will be a friend to him and preach the Gospel of salvation to him, and give him good counsel, helping him out of his difficulties. Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism to revolutionize and civilize the world, and cause wars and contentions to cease, and men to become friends and brothers"

In this time, it can feel like everyone around us has betrayed us. But it's important to remember that we do have friends -- people we can rely on. People who are our good society. Do not let yourself fall prey to catastrophizing narratives. We will make it, but not alone. We need each other. We must stick together like fire ants in a flood.

Please, text your trans friend. And your disabled friend. And your immigrant friend. Let them know you are here for them. We all need to hear it. So be the person you would want to hear from.

[bildswoman]

I am feeling very hurt today.

For context, I went to high school in well-off, suburban Utah, although I didn't grow up there. My family still lives there. It's a VERY Mormon- and white-dominated location.

Last night, I was on the phone with my mom, just catching up, making plans for the weekend, the typical Phone Home Because Your Mom Misses You.

She told me that there were plans to build a warming shelter for the homeless in the town. I was excited -- I'd just been to a workshop about homelessness, and me and my friends had exchanged some heartfelt stories about our experiences with homeless friends, family, ward members, et cetera. But then she followed it up by telling me that many folks in the town were strongly against it -- mad that there would be a warming shelter in the town, yelling about it on Facebook groups, protesting at city council meetings. None of them wanted a warming shelter in their town. Hundreds of people, upset.

I've never felt more disheartened. Over half of the people in that town are members of the Church. The chances that there were Mormons at that city council meeting, yelling angrily about a warming shelter are astronomically high.

What God are they following?

What Christ did they get baptized to?

What scriptures do they read? Did they not get the chance to read Proverbs 19:17, Matthew 25:35-36, Luke 3:11, James 2:15-16, 1 John 3:17, Deuteronomy 15:11, Psalms 82:3-4, Proverbs 14:31, Isaiah 58:10, Mosiah 4:16-26, Alma 34:28-29, Mosiah 18:28-30, 3 Nephi 12:3, or Jacob 2:13-17?

What commandments are they following? What "love one another" do they ascribe to?

What has the name of Christ become in this day and age?

The devil turning evil into good and good into evil has never been so obvious. What perversion of gospel principles can possibly lead someone to riot against a warming shelter -- not even a homeless shelter? A place for people to stay alive in the blistering cold.

"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." The 'members' that have fought against this have, effectively, spit in the face of the Lord. Where has Christlike compassion gone?

[bildswoman]

This sucks, I'm going to- (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for my mental state)- COUNT MY MANY BLESSINGS

[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-

[bildswoman]

I do not know what Christ's opinion on abortion is, but I know He would stand with the woman who had one. He would face her accusers and tell them that they were not blameless before God, either. He would chastise them for being imperfect mortals yet trying to impose the will of God. He would tell them not to rape, even to pluck out their eyes or cut off their hands if they felt like they could not control themselves. He would tell the woman that her sins are forgiven.

I do not know what Christ's opinion on immigration is, but I do know that he was a refugee himself. I know that Joseph (Jesus' father) took his family and fled into Egypt to avoid murder at the hands of Herod and his soldiers. I do not know if Christ wants to build a border wall, but I do know that He was in their shoes once, and would invite all to partake of the wonderful offerings of a nation overflowing with blessings.

I do not know what Christ's opinion on climate change is, but I do know that He, along with the help of His Father, created this Earth. I know that He taught us to treat our bodies as temples -- would He not want us to treat Our earth similarly? I do not know if Christ wants to spend more tax money on renewable resources, but I know He would be ashamed at our greedy use of the Earth without consideration for the generations after us.

I do not know what Christ's opinion on universal healthcare is, but I do know that He healed every ill person he came across. I know He did not want payment; He did not even accept payment -- He simply did it because of His love for mankind. I know He would want us to extend that kindness to the least of us.

I do not know what Christ's opinion on the homeless is, but I know that He invited them to learn from him and eat at his table. I know that He healed them, offered them food, and showed them genuine love. I do not know if He would support using taxes to pay for housing for the homeless, but I know that He said that "inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

I do not know what party Christ would caucus with, but I do know what he stood for. He stood for building communities instead of individuals, He stood for improving oneself, He stood for allowing everyone their free agency to do as they wish, He stood for freely giving what you have been given to help others, He stood for separating church and state, and He stood for unconditional love.

You cannot use Christ to justify your hatred, simply because Christ himself held no hate in his heart.

[bildswoman]

Yeah sure life kinda sucks

I'm at BYU and I often feel like the one rainbow spot in a sea of cishet gray

And I look online and at the election and it feels like the whole world hates me

I go to church and my bishop asks me if I can change, if I can just conform

And I'm tired

But

I have a girlfriend. And she's straight, cis and everything, but she takes time to listen. She started using they/them for me like she always had, she makes it a point to use them ask the time and it always brings me a little spark of joy.

She does my make up and paints my nails and calls me pretty. She says she'll still love me when we graduate and I grow my hair out and get my ears pierced. She insists that I do what will make me happy

As soon as she thought I might be queer, she started doing research. She asked her queer friends how she could help me be comfortable coming out or not, how she could be an ally. She defends me to her conservative parents, she introduced me to her friends.

I love her

I have friends, two cishet guys and their cishet girlfriends, who I came out to and they were immediately accepting. They use my pronouns. They rib me for being gay (affectionate). We talk about issues and the news and they listen. They compliment my make up and ooh and ah over my nails.

We play games and it never comes up. We stay up late at night and talk about the future and even if mine sounds a little different they support it all the same. We get up early in the morning to make breakfast for each other, we pay for each other's groceries, we give each other everything

I love them.

This of the kind of love we all need to make it through the coming years.

I don't have many queer friends. I don't have many people who really understand my story. But I have these friends who try. I have these friends who help me through it.

We can't exclude the majority from the minority. We can't just cut off everyone white, everyone cis, everyone male, whatever, because we'll lose our support. We need that help.

Find love everywhere