bildswoman

[bildswoman]

[bildswoman]

You know I really relate to Joseph Smith because imagine you’re this kid who just wants to know God and He reveals Himself to you, gives you direction, and you literally can’t deny what you know, but everyone around you criticizes you. I too was a kid who just wanted to know God, and He did reveal Himself to me (although not in the same manner) and frankly I can’t deny what I know. He loves me, as I am. Queer and all. So I feel crazy when everyone around me is telling me the revelation I received can’t possibly be true, but I know what I know. I can’t deny it. Like Joseph, I’ve been asked to walk a path that’s new and scary, but ultimately serves a purpose.

[bildswoman]

How to Deal with the Family Proclamation

We had a lesson in Sunday School today on all six of the proclamations the Church has ever issued. So naturally, the Proclamation on the Family came up.

I have complicated feelings about it. I think it fails our queer membership and locks us into doctrinal positions that aren't scripturally supported. I don't like how every lesson that mentions it invites an open season to take pot shots at the queer community, at our own people, about sexuality and gender. I don't like that this is the first instinct of many of our people when they talk about it.

You want to know how to redirect the conversation that shuts it down every time?

I bring up the portion that talks about the rights of children not to be abused. No one ever wants to talk about that because it involves looking at our own mess instead of someone else's. And as a survivor of familial abuse, it's something I feel passionate about because I know there is no group that is immune to it.

Rather than enforcing a familiar standard of heterosexual nuclear family that everyone should aspire to, I think the proclamation does a much better job of outlining what every child deserves. All children deserve to grow up in a family where they feel safe, respected, and loved.

Whenever I have to talk about the Proclamation to the Family, this is what I say. This is the only way I've found it to truly be prophetic.

I did it again today and that was one of the most powerful and vulnerable conversations about abuse I've ever seen at church. I know the teacher well. He has been a lawyer for many years and has worked as a prosecutor for child abuse cases in the state of Idaho, including those that involved church members. He said outright that local leadership doesn't always get things right with this, to the point that it was one of the reasons he left that line of work. It instigated a really poignant moment with him and a retired social worker from LDS Family Services. The Church is not immune to failures in handling abuse, but the Proclamation on the Family calls us to be better. That's what the discussion turned into. That was the salient point we ended on before moving on to the most recent proclamation from 2020.

Discussions in church are malleable. You can shape them into what you want them to be instead through your participation. It takes courage and skill you can gain with practice. And you'd be amazed at how well people respond if you do it sincerely and with love.

I can't change the mind of every person in the Church about queer people. But I can be filled with so much love for them, the right thing to say and do will be given to me through the Spirit.

Never doubt that you also have this power and ability. With God, all things are possible—including this.

[bildswoman]

I am once again asking tumblr to stop passing around posts that talk about the LDS (mormon) church like it's this shifty, nefarious cult acting as an agent in the destruction of the world as we know it. I am once again asking tumblr to consider that learning about a religion from only its worst members and those who have left and now sensationalize the religion for clout may not give you a good insight into what the beliefs actually are. I am once again asking tumblr to stop presenting very old, no longer practiced doctrine as current, widely-agreed upon belief. I am once again asking tumblr to stop painting a religion of millions of people worldwide with a ridiculously broad brush. I am once again asking tumblr to stop taking the words of leaders of a church as an indication of what everyone else in the religion believes. I am once again asking tumblr to stop ignoring the people within and outside of the church that aren't actively trying to tear it down. I am once again asking tumblr to stop ignoring the queer people, leftist people, disabled people, gender expansive people, people of color, etc who are bringing nuanced perspectives on religion beyond "hrrrrr cult scary hrrrr magic underwear hrrrrrrr mormons bad >:( " I am once again asking tumblr to stop with the rhetoric that you cannot be queer and religious. I am once again asking tumblr to realize that mormonism is a religion not just practiced by the LDS church, and that there is a vast plethora of beliefs, doctrines, opinions and experiences to be heard than some white exLDS from suburbia. I am once again asking tumblr to allow those with firsthand experience (members and former members) of the LDS church and other Mormon churches to lead discussions about both flaws AND strengths of the religion, rather than letting some very angry tumblr users condense over 200 years of history and doctrine into one flaming post. I am once again asking tumblr to consider that every single thing about the LDS church that makes you mad is something that members and former members of the church are already!!!!! talking about!!!!!!! you are NOT bringing anything new to this conversation, you are just making noise that makes it harder for us to have nuanced discussions about these things.

I am once again asking tumblr to think critically for a moment about how they are talking about this religion and how easily they are being swayed into black and white thinking. I am once again asking tumblr to consider how quick they are to decide they hate an entire religious group. I am once again asking tumblr to shut the fuck up about shit they don't understand xoxo

signed,

some white exLDS from suburbia <3

[bildswoman]

Sometimes people be asking me why I’m LDS, and I could give a myriad of reasons as to why, probably until the day Jesus comes back. But something I’m learning as a whole but is really helping me to live my faith more authentically: it simply makes me happy. I think people as a right should do what makes them happy, pursue what they believe is true, as long as they do no harm. I love seeing people find what that is for themselves, but I’m owed that same respect. So now, my answer has simply become it makes me happy and I leave the conversation at that. I don’t owe it to anyone to justify who I am.

[bildswoman]

*takes a deep breath* I will go (to church at 8:30) I will do (I will get out of bed at 7 instead of lingering in the warmth of my covers) the things (8:30-10:30 church) the Lord (ward council who fought for the 8:30 time instead of 9) commands

[bildswoman]

Not to be controversial but the gendered language around outer darkness is sooooo problematic. I mean, SONS of perdition??? Men aren't the only ones who can qualify for hell, this is some sexist bs! Catch me and the girlies denying God to his face #girlbossesofperdition

[bildswoman]

My mom told me the best story

She was grocery shopping with my dad and was picking up a bunch of canned food. My dad asked why she was getting so much canned food, and my mother with complete sincerity said she was preparing her food storage for trumpmagedon. The other market basket patrons were apparently not super impressed with that statement, but my mom siad she was just trying to be a good mormon.

Anyways, my mom is a very good mormon

[bildswoman]

[bildswoman]

in my search for an lds man who’s not insanely conservative (hard to find on mutual) i suddenly realized that there’s the BYU DEMOCRATS. like the club. why didn’t i think of this sooner

[bildswoman]

Can't tell my parents this, but I'm actually sick of white mormonism. We're a white family, and so a lot of white mormonism gets passed around as if it's common sense, but the second you talk to any non-white mormon you start realizing how racist white mormonism is.

You get white people sincerely believing skin color denotes what sins their ancestors made, and whether or not their ancestral culture is 'worthy' of being seen or respected. Do you have any idea how racist that is?! And then white mormons just assume that's how the world should work, and go on missions to foreign countries to stamp out the local culture! That's not religion, that's white supremacy. That's colonization. That's Nazi behavior.

An example: When I was little and didn't know better, I was shocked that Polynesian members of the church would still get cultural tattoos. White mormonism says any tattoos are bad, and my mom even tried to teach me that tattoos were the mark of Satan. And then... I grew up, both physically and spiritually. I realized: who cares. Tattoos for fun, tattoos for culture, tattoos as memorials and reminders, who the hell cares. Jesus wouldn't give a flying fuck, why should I?

And then I realized as mormons began accepting 'repentant' white people with tattoos, platforming them and honoring them, but turning their nose up at non-whites getting tattoos... it was just racism. It was always racism. It was never about the tattoos, it was about creating an artificial barrier between white people and everyone else.

And I can't tell my parents that. They've not only swallowed the white supremacy pills, they're trying to swallow more. And these aren't inherently racist people, they're just scared that if they don't perform whiteness then they'll get hurt.

[bildswoman]

seeing people discussing the concept of hell and how cruel the idea of eternal punishment is like, wow! i know this belief system you would love if not for your knee-jerk reaction against its name

[bildswoman]

I can't listen to Christmas music at work because I just get too emotional about it and start crying and I can't show weakness in front of the Excel sheet, it'll eat me alive.

[bildswoman]

In scary times, we need all the light we can get... happy holidays and stay safe, loves!

[bildswoman]

i feel like it's absolutely crucial in the social justice world to take "he a little confused but he got the spirit" and similar sentiments/situations as a Win. intent is so much more important than saying it right the first time! if someone is approaching with scuffed language and incorrect terms but they're visibly being as polite as they know how, that person is a friend and should be treated better than what their words might invite in someone else's mouth.

[bildswoman]

My little loves.

Your mama and daddy don't love you anymore because you're a queer Mormon?

I will do it. I will love you.

Your local leaders reject your queerness and throw their hands up in the air?

I don't think you're exasperating. You're not difficult to love. Don't let them tell you that. It's our job to love you, and it's not a hard job!

They just don't want to? They don't know how and are unwilling to learn? They want to make excuses and tell you the way they alienate and reject you is your fault? If you were just more like them, then they would love you?

Don't you do it. Don't you dare make yourself smaller to try and get their love. Anyone who puts you in that position doesn't have love to give you anyway. There's no treat. They're just pretending to throw it and watching you run.

Not on my watch. You come here and get real love from someone who likes you exactly how you are. I will always be one of them, whether you stay in the Church or go.

You deserve that.

[bildswoman]

this guy sucks, I'm going to HUM MY FAVORITE HYMN, SING OUT WITH VIGOR AND VIM

[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-