#but I’m honestly surprised at what I was reading

[loulovingho]

I’m just laughing at how those post-episode interviews really fucked 911 over because if they’d just left it I’d honestly be eating this shit up, and I think a lot of us would. Yeah, we’d still be pissed at the biphobia presented to us through the writing, but we’d have hope that there would be opportunity to fix it. Even if they didn’t plan on fixing it on their end, if they’d have just shut up about it then they wouldn’t have heard so many complaints.

I know some people said they’re glad they didn’t lead us on to believe Tommy would be back, but from their end they should have. There are so many shows with loose ends! So many series where I’ve thought “I wonder what happened to *insert storyline here*” but they moved on and so did I. I shrug it off after a while, a little bummed, but otherwise fine.

But they had Lou do two “exit interviews” that I’m not totally sure he knew were exit interviews when he did them. Part of me wonders if even the headline surprised him, potentially believing he was doing breakup interviews or whatever. And then the Oliver interview was weird and kinda gross. I know Lou mentioned having other things lined up he needed to do, but that doesn’t even read as a “yeah I’m done here” it reads more as “I’ve got other commitments I have to keep and then hopefully I can return.”

Anyway, If they’d have just left the episode as is, and shut up about it afterward, we’d be having some angsty fun right now!

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 2) Chapter Fifteen

Saiki Kusuo x Reader

Chapter Fifteen: Dates and Judo

Summary: Saiki and (Y/N) get interrupted on a date, and (Y/N) surprises everyone in gym class.

            “Thanks, Mera,” said (Y/N), smiling as Mera as she set down a plate of coffee jellies on front of (Y/N) and Saiki.

            “No problem!” said Mera. “Anything for my regulars.” She cast a longing look at their sweets, smiled, and walked away.

            “She wanted to eat them,” said Saiki.

            “Don’t need telepathy to know that,” chuckled (Y/N), taking a bite of their sweet. They sighed happily. “Delicious.”

            Saiki nodded in fervent agreement as he took a bite himself.

            “Oh my god, you guys are so cute when you’re enjoying sweets!”

            Saiki and (Y/N)’s heads jerked towards the edge of their book. Miko stood with a grin on her face and her camera up, taking pictures of their smiles as they ate.

            “Adorable!” she said, sliding into the booth beside (Y/N).

            “Stop stalking us,” said Saiki.

            “Hi, Miko,” said (Y/N).

            “I knew you two’d be here,” said Miko happily, waving down a waiter to make her own order. “Sorry!” She winked (and didn’t look sorry at all). “I looked into the future!”

            “This is the problem with psychics,” said Saiki, looking deadpan at (Y/N).

            They just laughed and shook their head as Miko beamed and dug into her snack. Fortunately, this wasn’t a super formal date, so they weren’t upset at Miko showing up. Honestly, Café Mami was not an unknown spot amongst their friends and students at PK Academy, so they weren’t surprised at seeing someone.

            “I can never catch you two at school,” rambled Miko. “You’re way better than me, and then you steal (Y/N) away!”

            “They’re my partner,” said Saiki. “And I told you to leave us alone.”

            “Isn’t it obvious why I’m here?” said Miko. She tapped her forehead.

            Saiki almost rolled his eyes. I love you two. Adorable. Adore you! Love love love. She still has a crush on us? Yare yare.

            “I can’t read you,” lied Saiki. “We’re leaving.”

            “Hey! Don’t ruin the fun,” pouted Miko.

            “I can spare another ten minutes before I get some homework done,” offered (Y/N) kindly.

            Saiki’s eye twitched as he watched them be so kind to an annoyance and as he heard another annoyance approach.

            “Saiki, are you on a date?!” shouted Toristuka, running into Café Mami and towards Saiki’s booth. He looked between Miko and (Y/N). “With two people?!”

            “No,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “You’re an idiot,” said Saiki.

            “Hey, you’re the new hot girl!” said Toritsuka.

            “You’re the sleazeball,” said Miko distastefully. “What’s a loser like you want with my darlings?”

            “Darlings?!” cried Toritsuka. “For real, Saiki, (L/N)?!”

            “Be quiet,” said Saiki.

            “No, Toritsuka,” said (Y/N).

            “Won’t she find out about your—”

            “Won’t he find out about your—”

            Saiki’s telekinesis shoved napkins in their mouths before they could say the word “powers.”

            “Shut up,” said Saiki.

            “You two both know,” chirped (Y/N), eating their coffee jelly again.

            “What?!” cried Toritsuka and Miko.

            “Why does he know?!” said Miko.

            “You told her about your powers?!” said Toritsuka.

            “Quiet down,” said Saiki. “You both have powers. It was better to tell you than have you suspecting me.”

            “And I know because I accidentally saw him teleporting a hotel,” said (Y/N), smiling fondly at the memory.

            “Wait, you have powers, too?” Toritsuka stared at Miko.

            “No way he does, he looks like an ordinary person,” said Miko, putting her hands on her hips.

            “I’m a spirit medium,” said Toritsuka proudly. “I can prove it.” He looked to his side. “Hey.”

            “Who are you talking to?” said Miko, frowning.

            “A rose pink thong,” said Toritsuka.

            Miko’s eyes widened, and her cheeks turned red. “What?!”

            “That’s the panties you’re wearing now,” said Toritsuka. “I had a ghost check. Was I right? I should che—”

            Wham!

            Miko kicked him, and Toritsuka went down in an instant. Obviously, he’d been right, but he’d gotten the consequences of his actions.

            “Nice kick,” said (Y/N), smiling. They leaned out of their booth to look at Toritsuka. “Quit being a pervert.”

            Toritsuka groaned. “It was so fast.”

            “You can get the ghosts to tell you that now?” said Saiki, looking at Toritsuka.

            “Unlike before, I have some bargaining chips now,” said Toritsuka, standing. “In exchange for obeying my commands—” He jerked, and a weird expression appeared on his face.

            “Yes! A real body!” cheered the ghost possessing him.

            “This again?” said (Y/N). They remembered how badly it went last time.

            “Gravity! This is awesome!” The ghost jumped around happily. “I can’t wait to—”

            Toritsuka doubled over before straightening. He had his body back. “See, Saiki? They tell me her underwear, and I let them borrow my body.”

            “Ew.” (Y/N) got straight to the point.

            “Go anyone near (Y/N) and I, and I end you,” said Saiki.

            “That guy is totally deranged. You should cut ties with him,” said Miko.

            “That’s true,” said Saiki.

            “This is my power! Now it’s your turn, hot babe!” said Toritsuka.

            “I’m a fortune-teller!” said Miko proudly, holding up her crystal ball decorated with gems. “I can see both the past and the future!”

            “I bet your predictions are pretty vague,” jeered Toritsuka. “But if you can predict lottery numbers, I’ll be impressed.”

            “Yes, I can do that,” said Miko.

            “I see,” said Toritsuka. “Teach me!” He bowed before Miko.

            Selfish.

            “Never,” declared Miko. “And anyway, winning the lottery comes with a huge risk. See, people’s luck comes in waves. There’s major good luck, and there’s major bad luck. They balance each other out, basically. So winning the lottery could kill you.”

            “If luck comes in waves, why am I always having bad luck?” grumbled Saiki. He looked at (Y/N) as they watched Miko and Toritsuka in amusement. They had their coffee jelly and a big smile on their face. I guess I did have good luck there.

            “I take back my begging,” said Toritsuka, deflating.

            “What?” Miko scoffed. “I can read everything about other people! It’s way better than your power.”

            Toritsuka narrowed his eyes. “Looks like we need to make things clear. Let’s see which of the PK Psychic Trio is the weakest.”

            “I never joined that trio,” said Saiki.

            “You’re going to be sorry,” said Miko.

            “Let’s see who’ll be Saiki’s sidekick!” declared Toritsuka.

            “(Y/N) is my sidekick,” said Saiki.

            “Thanks, Kusuo,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Let’s pay and go,” said Saiki, standing. “This is ridicule—Ah!”

            He jumped back and fell to the ground. Everyone turned in surprise.

            “Kusuo?” said (Y/N) in concern.

            “It’s a cockroach,” said Toritsuka.

            “You’re right, but what’s the big deal?” said Miko, frowning.

            “Idiot!” said Toritsuka. “Saiki hates bugs so much, he’ll crap himself!”

            “No, I don’t,” said Saiki instantly, but he was still frozen.

            “Whoever kills the bug will be Saiki’s sidekick!” said Toritsuka. He ran off to find a ghost to help him kill the bug

            “What? Hold on!” Miko raced after him, but she couldn’t get near the bug either, scared.

            (Y/N) shook their head, picked up their cup, and put it against the wall. They slipped the menu beneath the cup, trapping the cockroach. They carried it outside and put it down, letting it escape before they returned to the booth.

            “There you go!” said (Y/N) brightly.

            Miko and Toritsuka stared and deflated. They didn’t get a chance to prove themselves.

            “Thank you,” breathed Saiki in relief.

            (Y/N) chuckled and held out their hands. Saiki took them, and (Y/N) pulled him to his feet.

            “I guess Saiki’s partner would be his sidekick,” said Miko, sighing.

            “…” Toritsuka paused.

            Saiki and (Y/N) froze.

            “Partner?!” said Toritsuka. “I thought you weren’t on a date, Saiki!”

            “Not with Aiura,” said Saiki.

            “Oops,” said Miko.

            “Are you two—”

            “Yes,” said Saiki before Toritsuka could shout anything.

            “Kusuo and I are dating,” said (Y/N), smiling slightly.

            “And you didn’t tell me?” whined Toritsuka.

            “It’s none of your business,” said Saiki. “And you’re not discreet.”

            Toritsuka pouted.

            “If you tell anyone, you’re going to wish you hadn’t,” said Saiki.

            “G-Got it!” said Toritsuka.

            Saiki took (Y/N)’s hand and looked between Miko and Toritsuka. “We’re leaving, and neither of you are following us.” He wanted peace and quiet with (Y/N).

            “Bye, guys!” said (Y/N), waving as Saiki walked out the door. They looked at him and smiled. “Another person knows. How do you feel?”

            “It wasn’t so bad,” said Saiki.

            “I guess we can’t avoid it forever,” chuckled (Y/N). They linked their arm with his and leaned on his shoulder. “But we’ll have each other.”

            Saiki smiled slightly. “Right.”

l

            “Today’s lesson is judo!” announced Matsusaki, standing in front of the class. “As you know, judo is a martial art. You’ll get hurt if you slack off.”

            Yare yare. I really hate gym class, thought Saiki.

            “Stay alert!” said Matsusaki.

            “I look forward to learning from you!” Hairo was fired up.

            “Yes, that’s the spirit,” said Matsusaki.

            “This will be fun,” said (Y/N), beaming.

            “You like judo?” said Saiki.

            “I haven’t tried it yet,” said (Y/N).

            “Hairo, are you a blackbelt?” said Matsusaki, looking at Hairo’s gi.

            “Yes, I’ve been doing judo since elementary school,” said Hairo.

            “But you won’t have a sparring partner,” said Matsusaki. “Any other blackbelts here?”

            “I’m a black belt,” said Kaidou, smirking and posing. “I’m self-taught.”

            Matsusaki smacked him across the head, and Kaidou pouted. “Take this seriously or you’ll get hurt!”

            “I think he means, ‘or I’ll hurt you,’ ” observed Saiki.

            “Sensei, I can pair up with Hairo,” said (Y/N).

            “Huh?” said Saiki, looking at (Y/N).

            “Don’t be stupid, you could get hurt!” said Matsusaki.

            “I trust Hairo to take it easy today, and he does need a partner,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            Hairo’s eyes sparkled with tears. “So noble, (L/N)!”

            “Very well,” said Matsusaki, nodding. “Everyone, get into pairs!”

            “Wait, I wanted you to be my partner—” Saiki watched (Y/N) walk over to Hairo. Stupid nice heart of theirs helping others out.

            “Next time, Kusuo!” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Hey pal, if you and pinky aren’t a pair, you should pair up with me!” said Nendou.

            I’m stuck with the idiot. Saiki had hoped accidentally using his powers and lifting his partner too easily wouldn’t be seen if (Y/N) was there to help him cover, but at least with Nendou he could throw him around and not worry if he got hurt.

            “Stretches first, and then practice your falls!” said Matsusaki.

            The students obeyed, stretching and practicing falls before doing anything sparring.

            “Alright, good, who wants to spar first?” Matsusaki looked at the pairs. “Hairo, (L/N), show them how to do it safely. Hairo, be gentle!”

            “I’ll be fine, Sensei,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “You ready?” said Hairo.

            “Yep,” chirped (Y/N).

            If he hurts them, I swear to all the gods that hate me—

            Hairo lunged. (Y/N) pivoted, caught his arm, and threw. Hairo went soaring through the air and hit the mat. Everyone’s jaws dropped open. (Y/N) looked down at Hairo.

            “Are you alright?” said (Y/N), tilting their head.

            “How did you—My move was perfect,” exclaimed Hairo. It wasn’t arrogance, either, it was true.

            “It was,” said (Y/N). “And judo is a little different than what I’m used to.”

            “Used to?” said Saiki.

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N), smiling. “I train in karate. I’m going for my second-degree black belt in a few months.”

            Hairo’s jaw dropped open from where he lay on the ground.

            That explains why they felt fine sparring against him, thought Saiki.

            “That’s so cool, Pinky!” said Nendou.

            “Wow,” said Kuboyasu.

            “Th-That explains the punch at the beach,” thought Kaidou, remembering the time (Y/N) had hit a man harassing their friends—the strength had been formidable.

            (Y/N) looked at all of them and tilted their head. “Did I really never tell you?” They laughed and shrugged. “Oh, well.”

            The nice one is scary?

            Saiki smothered an amused smile at the thoughts swirling around him. (Y/N) was the nice one. They were just also capable of taking care of themself.

            “Good match, Hairo,” said (Y/N), helping Hairo stand.

            And they’re still nice, thought Saiki.

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[threeacttragedy]

Entry 1 - The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post

This is my first blog entry and, before you start reading, let me just drop in this little disclaimer: 

You will find that I bounce between fact and speculation with a mix of sarcasm and [I hope] level-headedness, common sense, and deductive reasoning.

I am a Lukola. Plain and simple. You will not change my mind. It’s an all or nothing thing for me. How I got here, I’m not exactly sure – wait, no I do know how I got here (thank you Nicola and Luke for being so fucking charming).

Of course, I knew what Bridgerton was before I joined the Lukola fandom. In fact, I watched both Seasons 1 and 2, and they were okay. Yes, just okay.

I knew that Season 3 was about Penelope – the only character I found remotely interesting – so when I saw an article on People’s page showing Nicola and her costar holdings hands, I admit I was intrigued.

Were they dating?

Let’s ask Mr. Google and find out.

No, apparently, they were not.

Okay, fine.

I then made the mistake of clicking on a video of Nicola and Luke being interviewed in Australia. And, motherfuck, they were like lightning in a bottle! Luke – being asked if he believed in friends to lovers – responded in a way that left me feeling a bit blindsided. My immediate thought was: “He fell in love with Nicola the moment he met her.” It’s funny how many people I’ve spoken to since who had an identical reaction and, to be honest, Luke’s response won’t make your heart flutter. But, it was something in the way he said it.

Now, let me explain my feelings about love at first sight. Actually, Nicola explained it best when she said lust at first sight is often mistaken for love at first sight. This, I agree with wholeheartedly. To me, love at first sight does not have to be lusty. It can be, sure, but it can also be something entirely different. Maybe it’s a fleeting feeling of recognizing someone in a way you cannot possibly articulate out loud. Maybe it’s a palpitation of your heartbeat. Maybe it feels like home. Regardless, when you experience it, you’ll know it.

That, my friends, is how I got here, and why I [sometimes begrudgingly] stay here – walking alongside this rather long, winding, and often pothole-filled road waiting for two people to admit to the general public – whether it be in a blatant or subtle manner – that they are, in fact, together.

I’ve noticed in this fandom we seem to have three types of people.  We have the Sincerely Ignorant, the Conscientiously Stupid, and the Fact Finders.

The Sincerely Ignorant are those that are easily persuaded. They are like sheep following their shepherd. In fact, the Sincerely Ignorant are the most dangerous as they tend to spiral hard and fast – and often without reason.

Next, we have the Conscientiously Stupid. These are the shippers that choose to live in error because it fits their narrative. We are all a bit Conscientiously Stupid but there are those that push an idea so hard that they omit certain truths from their storyboard. The danger here is obvious and their victims always include the Sincerely Ignorant.

Lastly, we have the Fact Finders. The people who track information – key players, side characters, dates, places, statements, etc. These are the people who often find themselves pulling the Sincerely Ignorant out of the water when they spiral, usually due to narratives being pushed by the Conscientiously Stupid.

I am a Fact Finder. Am I perfect? Fuck no, but I do find it fun to collect and analyze information and share it with my fellow Fact Finders. Plus, collecting data helps me maintain some indifference towards the USS Lukola because, let’s face it, this god-damned ship has been blasted by quite a few cannonballs at this point. Some days, I’m surprised we’re still afloat.

Let’s start with Cannonball No. 1. Pap-fucking-smear. June 12/13, 2024. What a fucking shit show. Who shows up to the London premiere? Antonia, Luke’s – I honestly don’t even know what word to use here because I have a lot of different thoughts but out of [a small amount of] respect I will call her – “girl friend” [yes, that space was intentional]. We all know the story, Luke was papped outside his hotel with Antonia on premiere night and he was pegged an overnight dumpster fire.

And, oh my God, the Sincerely Ignorant and Conscientiously Stupid ran with it. I mean, they practically became wild dogs chasing down a fox under the command of Nicola the Huntsman. However, Nicola, almost immediately, came to Luke’s rescue by posting an “in support of” style story to her IG. I’m not saying Nicola wasn’t affected by this mishap. At the very least, the post-premiere PR efforts were dumped squarely on her tiny shoulders. At the worst, she’d had her heart broken.

I never liked the Papsmear pictures. Not because I disliked what they depicted but because there was something “off” about them. Luke didn’t look like a man happy to be out with his lady friend. He looked like a man who had been hoodwinked and whether that was because he knew he’d just made a major PR misstep or because he knew the narrative that would follow was false doesn’t really matter because it’s all speculative. But, what makes me believe it was the latter is what Luke did next.

On June 15, Luke put a story on his IG promoting Season 3. That isn’t all that interesting but the scene it depicted made me do a double take.

Could it be?

No…no way…

But…it was.

It was the scene in Ep. 6 where Cressida entered the Mondrich Ball and Colin pulled Penelope aside and told her he wouldn’t let Cressida ruin their evening.

What in the hot fuck? I mean, really, what in the hot fuck??

Did Luke really just blast out an IG story where his character tells Nicola’s character not to let the Cressida character ruin their evening? Was Cressida…Antonia?

Because that’s fucking loud.

I mean, of all the scenes over four episodes, Luke chose THAT one to promote Pt. 2?

Surely, Antonia or one of her friends or family members would have picked up on this, right? And, told Antonia.

No one is going to convince me that Luke and Antonia were in a blissful relationship after that IG story was posted. Why? Because the deductive reasoning part of my brain tells me Luke chose Nicola straight outta Pap-gate.

The Conscientiously Stupid may [rather they WILL] argue that it was just for PR. Okay, but that would mean Antonia accepted the comparison between Cressida, the Evening-Ruiner, and herself. Take a moment and put yourself in Antonia’s shoes. Would you accept this from your partner? (P.S. If you said yes, you have bigger problems in life than following real people’s relationships.)  We know Antonia accepted this role to some extent because we have evidence she attended events with Luke over the summer. So, what the fuck?

In my opinion, Luke’s IG story is a defining moment in the Lukola narrative, but one that was overlooked in June and one that continues to be overlooked – and ignored – now.

Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.

Let me repeat that again for you:  Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.

Now wrap your head around that.

[sasheemo]

When we collide

Chapter 9

Read on AO3

Fic masterlist

Chapter Summary: A bold, unexpected invitation sparks a series of risky choices.

Word Count: 2.9k

Perhaps it’s the intensity of her blue eyes, or the whirlwind of emotions stirred up in the past few hours, but somehow, against all reason, the words slip from your lips, beyond your control.

“Come stay with me.” you say, voice low but firm, as if it’s a decision already made, as if there’s nothing more to add.

You haven’t thought this through, not really, not at all actually, and yet there’s an undeniable certainty behind your words. The thought of her going back to Evanora fills you with a restless unease you can’t explain. You don’t want her to go back to that place, to that coldness. You barely understand it yourself, but you know it’s true.

Agatha’s face shifts, surprise flickering in her eyes, her expression frozen somewhere between confusion and something else you can’t quite place. She stares at you in silence, her lips parting as if to respond but nothing is coming out.

You’re suddenly aware of how strange and random your words must have sounded, even to your own ears, and you rush to fill the silence. “I mean… my mother will be away for a few days at least, no one will know. You don’t have to go back there…” you say, the words tumbling out almost as quickly as they form. “It’s just… I thought—”

“Fine.” she cuts in, her tone abrupt, as if she’s just as surprised by her response as you are.

It’s as if the words hang there between you, both of you stunned by the exchange. You’re not entirely sure what you’ve just started, but it seems neither of you wants to pull back.

You clear your throat, casting a quick, uncertain glance at Agatha. “Alright, then… let’s go.”

She nods but pauses, her gaze drifting back to where her cloak lies abandoned. She takes a few steps to retrieve it, dusting it off before wrapping it around her shoulders, her movements measured and careful, as if collecting herself along with the fabric.

You both begin walking toward the village in a silence that feels louder than any words. Every step reminds you of her presence at your side, close enough to hear the soft rustle of her cloak and the sound of her steady breaths. Somehow, feeling her move beside you is both calming and nerve-wracking, a mix of comfort and tension that leaves you uncertain, caught between the urge to speak and the urge to withdraw.

As you walk together, you groan internally, silently cursing your own impulsiveness. You’ve really outdone yourself this time. What were you thinking? Suggesting this whole thing so unpromptedly, without considering what it would mean. Panic begins to bubble up, your mind racing through questions with no clear answers. You don’t even know why you did it, nor how you’re supposed to act now.

You catch a glimpse of Agatha out of the corner of your eye. She seems as caught in the moment as you are, quiet, guarded, with a look that’s somehow both relaxed and tense. You wonder if she’s feeling the same uneasy pull, if she’s as uncertain about all this as you are.

Your thoughts start to spiral. “I never should’ve suggested it. This is a terrible idea. Forget it. I’m just making things harder for both of us. Honestly, I don’t even know what I was thinking.” the words tumble out so fast you barely recognize your own voice, and it suddenly hits you just how much you’re rambling. You clamp your mouth shut, half-amused and half-mortified.

Agatha’s gaze flicks toward you, her expression cool but guarded. “If you’re done spiraling, I’ll take it from here.” her tone is clipped, almost detached, like she’s brushing off the whole situation. There’s tension hiding behind her calm, but she’s holding it back, her face an unbreakable mask.

The weight of the situation presses down on you, and you can’t shake the sinking feeling that you’ve walked straight into a mess of your own making.

The village comes into view, and you slow your pace, casting a sideways glance at Agatha. “So… my mother’s waiting for me for dinner.” you murmur, aiming for a casual tone. “Evanora’s been going on about this hunter threat for ages, so I’m guessing she’s sending the group out first thing in the morning. Which means… we’ll have to figure out a way for you to sneak inside without my mother noticing.” You’re almost whispering now, half mumbling to yourself, sounding slightly annoyed as the reality sinks in.

Agatha stops for a moment, blinking in surprise. “Wait, you mean tonight?” her voice is edged with shock, as if this had never crossed her mind. “Yes, the group is leaving in the morning. That’s why I thought… I thought you wanted me to come by tomorrow, once your mother had left.”

You pause, resisting the urge to face-palm. Of course she thought you meant tomorrow. It makes perfect sense, especially since you barely understand what possessed you to invite her in the first place. 

“That… would probably be simpler.” you admit, feeling a slight flush creep up your cheeks. “I just thought that, after everything that happened today...” your voice softens, careful not to reveal too much of what you’re feeling. “Nevermind, if you’d rather come over tomorrow, that’s fine with me.”

For a moment, you think you catch a flicker of something in her eyes, a hint of vulnerability, quickly hidden. She meets your gaze and you can sense the tension between you both, an unspoken understanding that you’re both standing on fragile ground.

“Tonight it’s fine.” Agatha says suddenly, her tone sharp, almost dismissive. “I mean, what could possibly go wrong?” she questions sarcastically, as if all of this isn’t a big deal or the stupidest plan ever. Her gaze flicks past you, as if to avoid showing any hesitation.

You blink, caught off guard by her quick shift. She’d originally thought this was happening tomorrow, she’d literally just said so. You weren’t expecting her to change her mind so easily, or to agree to this kind of risk without a second thought.

As you reach the edge of the forest you both stop, instinctively keeping to the shadows, neither of you quite ready to step into the open.

Agatha glances over at you, her gaze sharp and calculating. “I will need to stop at home first, and it might take some time.” she says, her tone matter-of-fact but laced with a hint of frustration. “There are a few things I need to grab…” she trails off, and you sense there’s more to it than just shoving clothes into a bag. 

Agatha’s likely already bracing herself for whatever obstacle her mother is bound to throw her way. She gives a faint, almost resigned sigh. “And while I’m dealing with that, why don’t you enjoy a nice, cozy dinner with your mother? Maybe put that time to good use and think up a plan for this little… arrangement.” She arches a brow at you, the sarcasm clear in her voice, as if sneaking into someone’s house is perfectly reasonable. Her mother’s archnemesis too, of all people.

You snort, catching her tone. “Oh, sure. I’ll just plot this all out over soup!” you reply, your voice dripping with irony. “I’m sure she’ll love seeing me sitting there, distracted and scheming.”

Agatha smirks, a glint of amusement flickering in her eyes. “Sounds like the perfect family dinner.”

You shake your head, your mind already racing through ideas. If you’re going to pull this off tonight, it’ll have to be flawless, no room for mistakes.

Both you and Agatha pull up your hoods, the cool evening air brushing against your faces. There’s an awkward pause, each of you caught in the weight of what’s about to happen.

“Alright, um… I guess I’ll see you later, then.” you murmur, voice low, feeling strangely exposed.

“Yeah… later.” Agatha replies, her tone equally unsure, as if neither of you fully believes the plan you’ve set in motion. With a final nod, you part ways, disappearing into the shadows of Salem.

As you near your house, you take a deep breath, bracing yourself. The familiar sight of your door feels strangely daunting now, knowing that you’re about to sit through a dinner while plotting a way to sneak Agatha inside. With one last sigh, you push open the door.

Your mother immediately turns to look at as you enter, her gaze shooting up, her tone sharp and annoyed. “Finally. Dinner’s ready, sit down.” she commands, gesturing to the table. You bite back a frustrated groan moving toward your seat, and you hang your cloak on the back of the chair as the tension settles over you, heavier than ever.

Meanwhile, Agatha reaches her own home, hesitating just outside the door for a couple of minutes. When she steps inside, her mind drifts briefly to her room upstairs, to the small creature she left hidden there, the one she hadn’t planned on caring for but somehow can’t bear to leave behind. She’s painfully aware, though, that before she can even think of anything else, she’ll have to face Evanora first.

She tugs her sleeves down, making sure they cover her wrists entirely, hiding the fresh, healed skin where her mother’s magic had seared her earlier. Steeling herself, she heads toward the kitchen, where the clattering of pots signals Evanora’s presence.

Evanora doesn’t even turn around when Agatha enters. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Go take off that cloak.” she says, her voice cold, as if Agatha is barely worth the attention. Agatha says nothing, giving a small nod before making her way up the stairs. The silence between them is as sharp as ever, and she’s careful to keep her face unreadable, her expression neutral.

As she climbs the stairs, Agatha’s footsteps are heavy, as if she’s buying herself a few more precious moments of calm. She pushes open the door to her room, shrugging off her cloak, ready to lay it down.

But before she can even blink, the rabbit darts out from beneath the bed, slipping past her feet in a blur. She freezes as it skitters down the stairs, its small body nearly silent against the wooden floor.

Her heart sinks in her chest. She barely has a second to react before she hears her mother’s voice, low and brimming with anger. “Agatha. What, exactly, is this… creature doing in here?”

Agatha holds her breath, forcing her face to remain neutral as she steps forward, making her way down the stairs slowly. “I… found it in the woods.”

Evanora’s gaze darkens, her voice slicing through the air. “And you thought it wise to bring it here? Into my home? Without so much as a word?” Her lips curl in disgust as she looks at the creature.

Agatha swallows, her heartbeat thudding painfully in her chest. “I didn’t think it would be a problem. It’s harmless.”

“Harmless?” Evanora scoffs, eyes narrowing. “Nothing in this world is harmless, Agatha. Especially things we get attached to.”

Before Agatha can respond, she feels it, the sudden, sharp edge of her mother’s power latching onto the rabbit. Evanora’s hand lifts, and a thin, almost invisible thread of magic snakes out, catching the creature in its grip. Agatha watches, her heart hammering as the rabbit lets out a choked sound, its small body contorting as pain ripples through it.

Agatha forces herself to stay still, to keep her face as blank as stone. She can’t show anything, not a flicker of the horror twisting inside her. She knows exactly what her mother is doing. If she lets on that she cares, Evanora will only make it worse.

“Is this why you’ve been so… distracted lately?” Evanora’s tone is cold, her gaze flicking back to Agatha. “Because of this pathetic little thing?”

Agatha clenches her jaw, her nails digging into her palms as she tries to keep her voice steady. “It has nothing to do with anything.” she replies, her tone deliberately flat.

Evanora’s eyes gleam with malice, her smile sharp and mocking. “Oh, really?” She tilts her head, her focus returning to the rabbit. “Don’t you dare lie to me…” her voice nothing but a sadistic whisper. 

The rabbit’s cries grow louder, a high-pitched whine that makes Agatha’s chest tighten. She can feel her control slipping, the anger bubbling up in her throat. Her hands clench tighter, her nails pressing hard enough to draw blood.

She takes a deep, steadying breath, before her voice comes out in a sharp, defiant edge. “I’m leaving for a few days.” she says, hoping to divert her mother’s attention.

Evanora’s gaze snaps back to her, her eyes narrowing dangerously. “You’re not going anywhere.” she hisses.

Agatha’s jaw tightens, and for a moment, her vision blurs with rage. She’s not sure if it’s the sound of the rabbit’s cries or the cold, unyielding expression on Evanora’s face. Probably both. Most definitely both. She feels her magic simmer beneath her skin, ready to burst, and she barely reins it in as she meets her mother’s gaze. 

Her voice drops, low and deadly. “I’m not asking. And stop hurting him. NOW.” On that final word, her voice rises, a fierce roar that echoes through the room, shaking the air around them.

Evanora’s lips twist into a cruel smile, and without a word, she intensifies the magic, driving the rabbit’s pain even further. The creature’s body convulses on the floor, its small form caught between them, writhing in silent agony.

At the sight, Agatha feels something crack inside her. She closes her eyes, letting the storm of magic take over. It feels like a violent, unstoppable wave. It surges through her, fierce and uncontainable, as if every ounce of restraint has shattered, releasing an avalanche of power she can no longer hold back.

She digs deep, reaching into reserves of power she didn’t even know she had, and when she opens her eyes again, they’re glowing a fierce, blazing purple. Across from her, Evanora’s expression changes, just for an instant, as her own eyes flash the same shade, the shock frozen on her face as Agatha’s voice echoes through her mind.

“You are going to let me leave. You won’t even notice I’m gone. And when I return, you won’t ask any questions.”

As the words resonate through Evanora’s mind, Agatha feels the full force of her mother’s resistance, like a wall of iron pressing back against her magic. She grits her teeth, focusing every ounce of strength into maintaining the hold, but she can feel her mother’s power fighting, twisting to break free. Agatha’s heart pounds, her breaths coming in short, uneven gasps as sweat beads on her forehead. Her own mind feels as if it’s being pulled apart, stretched to its limit.

Evanora’s eyes narrow, a flicker of rage igniting in their violet depths as she pushes back with a force that nearly sends Agatha staggering. “You dare—“ Evanora’s silent fury rips through the mental connection, her power clawing and tearing, threatening to reclaim control. Agatha’s body shakes with the effort to hold on, her muscles straining as if she’s pushing against an immovable weight.

But then she thinks of the rabbit lying helplessly on the floor, the small creature that Evanora would so readily destroy just to make a point. And for a split second, another image flashes in her mind. You. The way you stood with that look of defiance, unwavering, when you met her gaze that day in the forest after her incident. The way you didn’t run when she threatened you with her magic earlier today, how you kneeled beside her and simply… stayed. Agatha feels a surge of determination. She won’t let her mother win. Not this time.

With a deep, shuddering breath, she presses harder, forcing her will through every fracture in Evanora’s defenses. She can feel her mother’s shock, the slightest tremor of uncertainty. Evanora hadn’t anticipated this and Agatha digs deeper, her magic surging to life as she reinforces the command, her voice echoing with a power she barely recognizes.

“You are going to let me leave. You won’t even notice I’m gone. And when I return, you won’t ask any questions.” she repeats, her voice a blasting, echoing, roar in her mother's mind.

Evanora’s defiance falters, just for an instant, and Agatha seizes the moment, pouring every last shred of her magic into sealing the command. The strain is unbearable, her vision blurring at the edges, her entire body trembling as she maintains the hold. She can feel her consciousness starting to slip, her energy nearly drained, but she doesn’t dare let go until she’s certain the command has taken root.

With her last ounce of strength, Agatha lets out a thunderous scream, a raw, guttural release that reverberates through the room, carrying with it all the force she’s been holding back. An explosion of violet magic erupts from her, radiating outward like a shockwave, shaking the very walls and filling the air with a fierce, electric energy.

At last, Evanora’s eyes roll back, the purple glow vanishing as she collapses to the floor, unconscious. Agatha’s own control shatters in that moment, and she sinks to her hands and knees, gasping for breath, her body trembling with exhaustion. She feels a hollow satisfaction mixed with an aching bitterness at the price she’s had to pay, the lengths she’s been forced to go just to break free.

As she kneels there, trying to catch her breath and gather what little strength she has left, a soft rustling catches her attention. The rabbit hops tentatively toward her, its small black eyes watching her. Agatha’s face softens as she meets its gaze, reaching out a hand to gently stroke its fur.

She offers a faint, weary smile. “Let’s get out of here.” she whispers, her voice barely more than a breath.

[atzjieun]

personal stylist

summary | san helps jieun before she goes out

circa | august 2024

contains | 1.1k words, words, fluff, implied nudity at the beginning, jisan are just cute 

notes | i honestly didn’t think i was going to finish this anytime soon but i started using a writing sprint bot and it actually really helped 😭 but i hope you guys enjoy! 

taglist | @teezingsiyeon @moonkyeom @itzynabi 

San walked out of the bathroom, a towel around his neck that he used to dry the few stray droplets of water falling from his hair.  

On the other side of the room was Jieun, sitting at the desk with her phone propped up like a mirror. A straightening iron rested on top as Jieun sprayed heat protectant all over her hair.

“Choi San, put a shirt on!” she exclaimed, seeing the older boy in the corner of the screen. 

He grinned sheepishly, opening his drawer to pull out a shirt. “My bad.” After slipping it over his head, he rubbed his hair with a towel to get rid of the excess water. San looked over at the girl, quietly watching as she sectioned her hair before picking up the straightener, using it to curl her hair. 

Curiously, he walked closer to her, taking a seat on the bed beside the desk. 

“What’s the special occasion?” he asked with a small tilt of his head. “You never curl your hair.” 

Without looking at him, Jieun shrugged. “I don’t know. I just felt like it.” 

“Are you going out?” 

She nodded, continuing to curl her hair piece by piece while he watched. “Wooyoung-oppa asked if I wanted to try out a restaurant he heard about. Apparently they have really good steak.” 

“Just the two of you?” 

“I guess so.” 

San stood up, slowly reaching in front of the girl before carefully taking the tool out of her hand.

“Here, let me help.”

“It’s ok, I can do it myself.” She looked over at him, reaching for the straightener, though he held it out of her reach.

“It’s fine, I got it,” he responded, taking a section of hair. “Besides, I know you hate curling the back of your head.”

She looked at him through the reflection of her phone, watching the older boy’s concentrated face as he carefully curled each section of her hair before placing it over her shoulder to keep it out of the way. 

“Where’d you learn how to curl hair?” 

Upon her question, a small smile made its way onto San’s face. 

“I have an older sister, remember? She’d complain her arms were tired and make me do her hair for her,” he chuckled. “Plus, I’ve been watching the stylists curl your hair for the last- what? Six years? I think I’ve picked up some things in that time.” 

Jieun nodded, continuing to watch as he curled her hair through her phone screen.

“What restaurant are you guys going to?” San asked. 

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. He wanted to keep it a surprise.” 

The older boy nodded, quickly glancing at her reflection before looking back to her hair. “You guys have been hanging out a lot.” 

Jieun thought back to all her recent hangouts with the boy. Just the night before Wooyoung had come over to their room to watch a movie with her, but surely they hadn’t been hanging out so much that it was worth pointing out?

“Making up for lost time, I guess,” she eventually answered, slight confusion in her voice at the sudden comment. 

“Did he ever tell you why?” 

The girl froze for a moment, glancing at the phone screen to see San watching her, having temporarily stopped curling her hair to gauge her reaction. After a second of hesitation, she slowly shook her head. 

“No…” she answered slowly, shaking her head immediately afterward and giving a tight-lipped smile. “But…it’s fine. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.” 

Before she could look at San’s reaction, a notification on the top of her phone screen distracted her. Jieun reached forward and grabbed her phone, opening her messages to see what she’d been sent.

Wooyoung oppa: You almost ready?

She read the message over a couple times, fingers hovering over the keyboard as she tried to decide what to say. A chuckle behind her made her raise her head despite the fact that she couldn’t see her reflection.

“I’m almost done, don’t worry,” San said, having read the message over her shoulder. 

Jieun smiled, humming as she turned back to her phone. 

Me: Yeah, I’ll be done in a bit

Without waiting for a reply, Jieun locked her phone and placed it face-down on the desk before adjusting her posture. She let out a small sigh, waiting patiently as San continued on her hair. 

A couple minutes later, San placed the straightener back down on the desk. He ran his fingers through her hair, brushing out the curls before placing her hair over her shoulders. 

“Alright, all done,” he said, taking a step back. 

Jieun stood up, walking over to the mirror to see the results. The moment she saw her reflection, a wide smile spread across her face. 

“You’re better at curling my hair than I am,” she commented, brushing a few parts of her hair. Jieun turned to the older boy, who watched her with a fond smile. “Thank you, oppa.” 

San shook his head as he walked up to her, patting her on the head before moving back to his bed. 

“You should get changed now. Don’t want to keep Wooyoung waiting too long, do we?” 

Jieun immediately nodded and without waiting, turned back and opened her drawers. She looked through her clothes for a couple seconds before picking out a few pieces and throwing them over her shoulder. With one final smile in San’s direction, Jieun retreated to the bathroom. 

She emerged a couple minutes later, wearing a white dress with a brown leather jacket over it. San watched as she walked around the corner with a sheepish smile, brushing herself off. She looked at him expectantly.

“Give us a spin, Eunnie,” he said with a grin. Jieun laughed as she walked in a circle, placing her hands on her hips. San raised his hand to give the girl a thumbs up. “Tell Wooyoung to have you back by 11.” 

She rolled her eyes lightheartedly, shaking her head at the boy. “You sound like Hongjoong-oppa.” Without waiting for a response, she reached for her bag and one of the room keys before slipping her shoes on. Before walking toward the door, she waved. “Bye, oppa.” 

“Have fun~” San sang, smirking to himself as she disappeared from sight.  

The moment he knew she was out of the room, San immediately went to his contacts and pressed on one, holding the phone up to his ear. After a couple rings, a “hello?” from the other side sounded through his phone’s speakers.

“Jongho, remember what you were telling me the other day? I believe you now.”  

[tomorrowxtogether]

BEOMGYU: “I realized just how much love I have for performing onstage”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview

2024.11.12

BEOMGYU says he spent the time he was out with an injury falling even deeper in love with the stage. Clearly, the idol draws on hardship to propel himself forward: Even as he talks about the hard times, a humble smile flashes across his face as he adds, “but it’s okay.” BEOMGYU—who knows that “sometimes you stumble, it’s fine”—knows what it takes to get back on his feet.

Season two of Workout ZZANG is really entertaining, just like season one. You seem really comfortable doing variety shows now. You’re really in your element! (laughs)  But you’ve also said that you’re not usually so energetic. BEOMGYU: Workout ZZANG is a physically demanding show. I figured out during the first season that people find it funnier when I’m really struggling. You can just tell by looking at the view count—the episodes where I have the hardest time always got the most views. (laughs) I realized not to play it safe and that I need to put in as much effort as possible. And I think my genuine love of the show makes that possible. I mean, it’s got my name on it. I really love how you’re always quick to make your guests feel welcomed, too. BEOMGYU: Because I’m playing host to them on my own show. (laughs) I thought a lot about how to approach them without making it awkward. I couldn’t do a total deep dive on them, but I tried to be plenty familiar with them. I even watched other variety shows they’d been on to see what kind of things they like to do. HUENINGKAI made a surprise appearance, too. BEOMGYU: It was great to have someone I have perfect back-and-forth with on. He was great at coming up with these quips, probably from filming so much content, like TO DO X TXT. He was a lot of fun. Oh, and the aerobics episode was exhausting, and even though it was really hot and Huening gets hot easily, he was really active during it, which I was grateful for. I was laughing, watching that episode by myself when we were in the US and I showed it to him and said, “Hey, this one’s really funny.” (laughs)

You talked before about the pressure you feel to be good on variety shows. Do you find you’re able to enjoy it a bit more now? BEOMGYU: I was worried right from when we first debuted about what special thing I could do or role I could play to contribute to the group. Thanks to doing Workout ZZANG, I think I’ve established myself as the one who’s good at doing variety shows. I was really grateful they called me back to make a second season, and I could feel that I’ve grown a lot from it. My friends I hadn’t heard from in ages suddenly contacted me to say, “Hey, this is really funny,” and the rest of the group said the same thing and wished me the best with it. I felt really proud—like I was being acknowledged.

In contrast to your overflowing energy when you’re on variety shows, the very calmest side of you comes out when you do BEOMEDIO. BEOMGYU: Part of it’s about showing what I’m like at three in the morning, but the best part is getting to read what MOA sends in. Reading their stories let me visualize and indirectly experience things I haven’t experienced myself. I read them all through quickly and thoroughly before going live. There’s a whole lot of people who write really beautifully. (laughs) A lot of times I feel like I understand them so well that I get choked up reading them. And I’m always thankful for the ones that end with, “I love you, BEOMGYU.”

You said on BEOMEDIO, “When it comes to sharing happiness, the person doing the sharing doesn’t end up with less, and it fills the hearts of the people who receive it, too.” If you could share one thing that made you happy recently, what would it be? BEOMGYU: Honestly, this year’s been filled with a lot of good experiences. I’m making an effort to find happiness even in the smallest things now. There were minor things, like when we had our “Deja Vu” comeback, I felt great because the outfits were beautiful. I helped write the lyrics for two tracks on the latest album, and that made me extremely happy. (laughs) And I’ve been incredibly happy going to my favorite artists’ concerts and doing our own. I’d say there was more happiness than sadness this year.

Even though it’s been a year full of happiness, there was also a painful period for you because of an injury. I can guess how tough that was for you considering you were crying at the end of the concert. BEOMGYU: It was really hard for me mentally. That was right when I was deep into my work. We had this great schedule lined up, and as things started to fall apart, it felt like my mental state fell apart with it. And when we were at the Tokyo Dome, I thought, We’re at this place with this huge audience and I can’t even perform? It killed me. On the other hand, though, it also had a positive impact on me in a way. That was my first time watching the other members perform from offstage, and I could see how amazing and impressive they were. The place was packed, and hearing them cheer, I was like, I’m doing something really amazing—I’m working with some really amazing people. I found it really motivating.

Didn’t it also make you think about how you’re just as amazing when you’re up on that stage? (laughs) BEOMGYU: I thought, I can absolutely slay when I’m onstage, too! (laughs) I think the others were amazing and put on an absolutely flawless performance as just the four of them, but I have certain ways of expressing myself and there’s some breathtaking parts that only I can do, you know? I thought, I don’t even care if my foot gets more broken—I just wanna be onstage. I took performing onstage for granted, but as soon as I wasn’t able to, I realized just how much love I have for it. All the rest of them carried you around when you got hurt at the Tokyo Dome. BEOMGYU: It was really reassuring to me and I was so grateful to them, but in a way I also felt really sorry. When a concert’s coming towards the end, we’ve already used up so much energy that just standing by itself can be hard by that point. I realize how hard it was for them to carry me around under those circumstances.

You said “We’ll Never Change” is the TOMORROW X TOGETHER song that made you cry the most. The practice period for it overlapped with when you were injured. BEOMGYU: It was when we had already learned all the choreo for Japan and were about to start practicing for “We’ll Never Change.” I couldn’t learn any of it because of my injury and was just staying in my room. But I said, “I really want to go to Japan. I want to sing, even if I have to sit,” and I sat in for lessons for the live performance. I felt sort of insignificant sitting at the back just singing while all the other members were dancing, and I felt terrible. I shed a tear or two at the back, but I doubt they would know that. (laughs)

I remember you said you were disappointed that your injury kept you from making the people who came to your concerts into total MOA. It’s really admirable how passionate you’ve always been about converting people into fans. BEOMGYU: I’m in it for the long run. There’s still so much I want to accomplish. Celebrities like BTS, IU, or DAY6 feel like celebs’ celebs. I feel like you have to see them in concert at least once in your life, and I want to receive recognition from my fellow artists and be the kind of person that they want to see in concert, too. I take pride in the quality of our concerts. (laughs) I used to think accomplishments didn’t matter all that much. I thought, as long as MOA’s happy and I’m happy, that’s enough, and that it’s better just to be nice and happy, but lately I feel driven to do even better anyway. (laughs) You showed off your guitar skills at this year’s Weverse Con Festival, which you practiced for until you got blisters on your fingers. Did that come from the same drive? BEOMGYU: It was no easy task. (laughs) I kept up my lessons online when we were in the US and even gave up my vacation to keep learning and practice. I love playing guitar, but it isn’t my specialty. Lots of people are pros at it so I was worried about the thought of me going up onstage and playing it, but I decided to just go for it. It’s difficult to master anything, and practice was the only way for me to make it happen. MOA loved it in the end, so I was proud. (laugh)

You’ve been going to see a lot of other artists perform lately. How does it feel being in the audience after being the one onstage? BEOMGYU: Watching things purely from a fan perspective showed me how joyful the concertgoing experience can be. One time I went to IU’s concert, and sitting in the audience at that huge venue and watching her, I felt how amazing a thing it is to be a fan of somebody and show them your love. I became determined to give MOA not just 100% but 150 or 200% at our concerts. (laughs)

The last track on your new album, The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY, is called “Higher Than Heaven,” and it feels like it perfectly captures TOMORROW X TOGETHER and MOA’s connection, especially the part where you go, “I’ll hold onto eternity, our names / Let’s dream of an endless tomorrow together.” BEOMGYU: I thought those lyrics were absolutely wonderful. “Let’s dream of tomorrow together” sounds so romantic. Since we’re in our sixth year now, I think it’s time we focus on the future more than the past. What I want now is to keep looking toward the future with the other members and with MOA—to see them there tomorrow.

The part where you go, “What you doin’ to me?” in ‘Danger’ is a real standout. It felt like you were using a voice we haven’t heard from you before. BEOMGYU: I practically insisted that the producer give that part to me. (laughs) I said, “I promise I’ll kill this part,” and that clinched it for me. When I was recording it, I had to get the pronunciation and nuance to work together, and do it all in a really deep voice, so it was kind of hard. I couldn’t get the tone right when I looked alert and ready, so I tried making a pose like someone who’s about to start a fight—stuffing my hands in my pockets, tilting my head slightly—and sang it that way. And then I was able to really bring out the right feeling. (laughs) You’ve said before that sometimes a song doesn’t feel quite right until you’ve heard the group singing it, and then it sounds better. Are there any songs on this album that were like that? BEOMGYU: “Forty One Winks.” It’s actually my top pick—I loved it right from the start, in fact. (laughs) I always connect more with the songs after I hear them with the group’s vocals. The demo versions are good, but it really feels like a TOMORROW X TOGETHER song when you hear it with our vocals. You mentioned you were happy to write lyrics for two of the new songs. What was that process like? BEOMGYU: It wasn’t anything special. (laughs) I find it’s best to write lyrics as the thoughts naturally come to you and not overthink it. I worked on “Resist (Not Gonna Run Away)” while we were touring. I was writing like crazy on a three-hour trip to a ryokan in Japan and I think the lyrics came out well.

You said before that you tend to have an ear for what people generally like. How did you feel when you first heard the single “Over The Moon”? BEOMGYU: At first I thought it was good but not lead-single good, but I fell in love with it once I heard it with the group’s vocals. It’s got a feeling that can’t be described in just one word. It’s not just, This one’s upbeat! Or, What a tough image! It’s got a little bit of this and that and everything in it. It feels like “one of our songs” or “TOMORROW X TOGETHER-ish.” (laughs)

You truly have a deep affection for the group. During YEONJUN’s first solo promotions, all the other members sent him a coffee truck and repeatedly visited in person to support him. BEOMGYU: It was the first solo work for any TOMORROW X TOGETHER member, and I knew how hard he worked on it. While the rest of us took it easy, YEONJUN had to be getting ready for it. I really empathize with how much pressure he must’ve felt. As a member of the group, I thought about what I could do and decided all I could do was go support him in person, buy him a little something, and go cheer him on. You truly have a deep affection for the group. During YEONJUN’s first solo promotions, all the other members sent him a coffee truck and repeatedly visited in person to support him. BEOMGYU: It was the first solo work for any TOMORROW X TOGETHER member, and I knew how hard he worked on it. While the rest of us took it easy, YEONJUN had to be getting ready for it. I really empathize with how much pressure he must’ve felt. As a member of the group, I thought about what I could do and decided all I could do was go support him in person, buy him a little something, and go cheer him on.

You recently wished on a sky lantern in Taiwan for the people you know to be happy, not for yourself. BEOMGYU: I really just hope that everyone I love and everyone who loves me is healthy and happy. I think it’s always like that. I’m more concerned with others being happy because of me than I am for my own happiness. You can sacrifice or give up things and still feel like, Okay, as long as you’re happy, I’m fine. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy. (laughs) I can take care of my own happiness, honestly. That’s why I wrote that. You have to be happy yourself in order to share that happiness with others.

If you were going to write down a wish not for the people close to you but just for yourself, what would it be? BEOMGYU: There isn’t really anything I wish for. I’m content with who I am right now. (laughs)

[mercillery]

You already know who this is lmao. Since you wrote Andrew perfectly from IDV I GOTTA see how you write Frederick relationship overview 🙏💕 I love my poor disgruntled ex prodigee French man

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD

NOTES: I’ve got nothing to say about Frederick mains yet because I stopped playing around his release…but i’m sure his mains are fun to play with. I imagine they accidentally pop ciphers a lot too.

At first, Frederick would charm you in a way that feels almost unfair, like he’s playing a game you didn’t know you’d signed up for???

You’d find yourself completely entranced by Frederick—there’s no escaping it. This man doesn’t just walk into a room; he makes an entrance with a grace so smooth it practically slides in on polished shoes. He’s got this natural elegance that makes you wonder if he spends his weekends secretly training under some Victorian-era etiquette coach.

Every word, every subtle movement, is meticulously chosen to leave a lasting impression. You can almost hear a soundtrack playing whenever he talks. His gaze? Oh, it’s not just looking at you; it’s reading your very soul, flipping through your emotional pages like a well-loved book. This guy has the power to sweep any lady off their feet, whether they want to be swept or not. But don’t get too worried—you’re not just anyone to Frederick.

Dating Frederick is like a high-stakes thriller with poetic intermissions. When he’s chosen you as his focus, you’ll know it. He’s as devoted as a knight in shining armor with an artistic twist. Forget flowers—he’s out there composing symphonies that embody the way you laugh or the way you wrinkle your nose when you’re annoyed.

And yes, he’s that extra. But it’s not all rainbows and heartfelt sonatas. His passion runs as deep as the Mariana Trench, and with that comes a protective streak that would put guard dogs to shame.

His moments of jealousy? Let’s just say he doesn’t do halfway—Frederick only knows extremes. If you so much as wave at your barista a second too long, brace yourself for a brooding soliloquy about loyalty and his existential fear of being forgotten.

See, the man doesn’t just want to be liked or loved; he needs to be your everything. He’s got this internal scoreboard and if he’s not winning the gold medal in your heart, what’s the point? To Frederick, being mediocre is worse than losing—it’s being invisible, and he won’t settle for that. And honestly, why should he?

When it comes to love, Frederick doesn't do simple—no, he composes entire symphonies that could put Hollywood’s most dramatic love themes to shame. His idea of showing affection? It’s nothing short of an epic masterpiece.

You’d find yourself at the center of a grand concerto, where each note is painstakingly crafted to echo the highs, the lows, and those delicious in-betweens of your relationship. And, of course, private performances would become as routine as morning coffee.

Picture this: Frederick seated at a piano, fingers dancing across the keys, eyes darting to your face every other second as if he's trying to capture every flicker of your reaction. Is that awe? Is that admiration? Good. He’ll take that as a win. Your approval? It’s like a five-star review in a world where his love language is measured in crescendos and decrescendos.

But let's not forget—Frederick is a hopeless romantic, the kind who’s read Wuthering Heights one too many times and thought, Yeah, I can top that.

Love letters? Oh, they’re not just notes; they’re beautifully penned, metaphor-laden works of art that could make Shakespeare sit down and take notes. Candlelit concerts? He’s already planned three for next month, complete with a playlist that rivals the greatest romantic ballads in history.

And the surprises don’t stop there; you'll find flowers and little notes tucked into places you'd never expect: your bag, the fridge, maybe even the laundry hamper (don’t ask how they got there).

But for all his flair, Frederick isn’t just about grand gestures. There are those quieter, softer moments that catch you off guard and remind you that his love is as layered as one of his symphonies.

A simple lean of his head on your shoulder while you read, a touch so subtle you almost question if it happened, or that electric, intense gaze from across a crowded room—those moments are like a secret shared between the two of you. It’s like speaking an unspoken language, one where every glance and touch is a verse in an ever-unfolding poem that only the two of you understand.

Frederick’s sensitivity is a double-edged sword in your relationship, like owning a cat that’s both affectionate and completely unpredictable. On one hand, his perceptiveness is unmatched. This man could tell you’re upset from the way you’re stirring your coffee or the subtle shift in your smile.

Before you even have the chance to sigh, he’s there with those eyes full of concern, ready to listen and offer comfort that feels like a warm blanket on a cold day. It’s this deep empathy that forges an almost magical connection between you two, making you feel seen and understood in a way that’s rare. When Frederick’s with you, he’s with you—body, mind, and soul.

But there’s a catch, and it’s a big one.

His own emotions are about as stable as a teetering Jenga tower in the middle of an earthquake. Frederick feels everything on a scale of 1 to 100, with no in-between. Did you forget to say goodnight because you fell asleep? Prepare for an orchestra of internal questioning that could rival Hamlet’s soliloquy. Did you compliment a friend’s new jacket without immediately reassuring him that he still has the best taste in the room? Cue the silent spiral of doubt. He doesn’t just overthink—he over-operas. (Am I funny yet or do I just sound corny?)

Reassurance isn’t just appreciated; it’s essential. A simple “I’m here for you” can turn his internal storm into a calm, clear sky. Without it, his mind becomes a symphony of self-doubt, complete with the tragic overture of “Are they slipping away?”

And while it might sound exhausting, knowing this about Frederick means you’re sharing in something unique: a relationship where vulnerability is met with raw honesty and a commitment to each other’s emotional landscapes. Just be prepared for those moments when your calming words are the only thing standing between him and a full Shakespearean-level existential crisis.

While Frederick effortlessly projects an aura of undeniable charm and sophistication, it’s in those rare, private moments that you get to see beyond the polished exterior. These are the times when the cracks in his armor show, and you catch glimpses of the man behind the grandeur.

He’ll sit beside you, the gleam in his eyes softened, and open up about the disappointments that still gnaw at him. He’ll talk about the aching void left by his estranged family, the times he felt abandoned, and the relentless fear of mediocrity that follows him like a shadow he can’t shake.

It’s then you realize that his vanity isn’t just there to dazzle; it’s a well-crafted shield, desperately protecting the perfection-seeking artist who’s terrified of being truly seen and found wanting. In these moments, your acceptance of him—raw, imperfect, and honest—is worth more than a standing ovation at a sold-out concert.

But, spoiler alert: listening quietly won’t cut it.

He doesn’t just want to see that you’re present; he needs to hear your voice, feel your words like a balm on his frayed nerves. A silent nod isn’t enough when his mind is a cacophony of insecurities. He craves your reassurance like it’s the only song that can drown out the dissonance of self-doubt.

Then there are those times when Frederick’s paranoia takes center stage, and his brain transforms into a crime scene investigator looking for clues of your potential disinterest. Did you pause a beat too long before answering a question? He’ll dissect that silence like a forensic expert, eyes narrowing as if you just handed him the Rosetta Stone of heartbreak.

Even your simplest words or expressions are put under a microscope, magnified until he’s convinced he’s found proof that you’re slipping away. And yes, this can lead to some tension that’ll have you wondering if you’re in a relationship or a 24/7 reality show with constant performance reviews.

But here’s the twist—your patience and understanding are the keys to unlocking the security he craves. Sure, it might feel like you’re on an emotional tightrope at times, but when you take that moment to reassure him, to tell him he’s enough, you’ll see the tension melt away, and the storm in his eyes settle. Your steady, confident love is what helps Frederick silence the relentless chorus of doubt, making him feel seen, cherished, and—finally—secure.

Frederick has an eye for beauty, a radar for aesthetics, and a deep appreciation for life’s most elegant experiences, so if you’re with him, get ready for a whirlwind of high-class romance. Dates with Frederick aren’t just nights out—they’re productions.

Picture this: a night at the opera where he’s reserved the best seats, just for you and him, leaning close to whisper his insights on the music while his fingers absentmindedly trace patterns on your arm. Or an evening spent at a prestigious art gallery where he guides you from piece to piece, sharing stories and perspectives that make the artwork come alive.

Even a simple walk in the park with Frederick is elevated; he’s not just strolling—he’s carefully navigating to the most scenic routes, stopping at every blooming flower and golden-lit pond to take in the view and share a quiet moment of awe with you. He’ll glance at you with that expectant smile, as if to say, Isn’t this incredible?—and yes, he’ll definitely be checking to see if you agree.

And yes, if you’re wondering, he does have standards—expectations, even. Frederick doesn’t want to enjoy these experiences alone; he wants to bask in your shared appreciation, revel in your mutual admiration for art, architecture, and all things exceptional.

He’ll be delighted to show you off to his social circle, introducing you with a certain pride, as if you’re the finest piece in his collection of treasured things. But with that comes an unspoken agreement that you’ll match his refined demeanor and partake in his world of cultured conversation and elegant gestures.

Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s not expecting you to memorize 18th-century sonatas overnight or debate the merits of impressionism versus post-impressionism at every cocktail party. But if he catches even the slightest yawn during a concert or a vague, non-committal “It was fine” when he asks your thoughts on an exhibit—oh boy, brace yourself.

His brows will furrow in a way that says Is this really happening?, and suddenly, the air will feel a bit tense, like you’ve hit a wrong note in the symphony of his evening. He thrives on shared enthusiasm, so when he doesn’t see that spark in your eyes, he’s left wondering if you’re really on the same page or if you’d rather be anywhere else.

The key to navigating these moments? Patience and a touch of reassurance that, yes, you’re in this for the full experience—fancy outfits, whispered critiques at the opera, picturesque paths and all.

One thing about Frederick? He holds mediocrity in absolute contempt. This extends beyond his own aspirations and into the realm of your relationship, which, to him, is just another area where greatness must reign supreme.

If you're with Frederick, get ready for a personal coach, cheerleader, and, occasionally, an overly intense life mentor wrapped into one. He’ll push you to chase your dreams and won’t just clap when you reach a milestone—he’ll give you a standing ovation, complete with dramatic applause.

But with that passionate encouragement comes an edge; Frederick will also be your most unsparing critic, the kind who’ll say, “That was good, but it could be phenomenal,” right when you’re ready to celebrate. It’s motivating, sure, but if you don’t share his relentless pursuit of excellence or just need a break now and then, it might feel like you’re jogging beside someone who’s running an ultra-marathon…

If you really want Frederick to beam like he just won an award, show a genuine love for his craft or nurture a passion of your own. Respect for talent and hard work is practically woven into his DNA, so when he sees that you have your own spark, that’s when you become more than just a partner—you’re his muse, his equal, the one who fuels his artistic spirit.

Conversations with Frederick are not your run-of-the-mill small talk. Forget chatting about the weather or weekend plans; he’s here to unravel the mysteries of the human mind, ponder the nature of ambition, and debate the intricacies of creativity.

His interest in dissecting emotions, motivations, and talent isn’t just a casual hobby; it’s like he’s running a one-man TED Talk every time he opens his mouth.

And you? You’ll probably find yourself nodding along, wide-eyed, captivated by the way he speaks with such eloquence that even the most mundane statement sounds profound.

Honestly, he could say, “An orange is orange,” and you’d be nodding like, “Absolutely, that’s so true,” while trying not to swoon from the sheer brilliance of his delivery.

That said, these conversations aren’t just one-sided lectures. Frederick expects engagement, intellectual back-and-forth, even if it turns into a bit of a debate. And make no mistake—he’s got strong opinions and isn’t afraid to challenge yours, especially when it comes to art and talent.

But here’s the thing: he respects those who can spar with him in these verbal duels. If you stand your ground and hold your own, you’ll earn a rare, approving smile that makes all those philosophical tangents worth it.

Plus, there’s something quite mesmerizing about listening to him—his voice, rich and confident, pulls you in, and you’re left thinking, “Yes, Frederick, tell me more about the complexities of human nature and why oranges are orange,” while internally planning your Nobel Prize acceptance speech for keeping up with him.

Beneath Frederick’s air of grandeur and confident public persona, there’s a side of him that only you get to see—a soft, almost fragile version of himself that craves simple, unguarded intimacy. These are the moments when he lets the mask slip and the weight of being Frederick Kreiburg, the heir, the prodigy, the perfectionist, melts away.

It’s in these quiet interludes that you find him seeking solace, laying his head in your lap as you read, his fingers idly tracing patterns on your knee while he closes his eyes, enjoying the rare sense of peace. He doesn’t need to fill the silence with grand words or impressive declarations. In your shared space, the performance is over; he’s just Frederick, vulnerable and human, grateful that he doesn’t have to strive for perfection in your presence. Your presence alone is enough to soothe the symphony of doubt that usually plays on loop in his mind.

And while he might dazzle the crowds with his musical prowess and philosophical musings, one of his quieter passions is equestrianism—a skill that, unlike many of his pursuits, isn’t about impressing others but about finding a rare moment of freedom. It’s a pastime that lets him shed the pressure and simply enjoy life for what it is, the rhythmic pounding of hooves syncing with his heartbeat as he gallops across open fields, feeling the wind tug at his platinum hair.

When he invites you to join him on horseback rides, it’s more than just an activity; it’s an invitation into this private realm where he feels unburdened and alive. Teaching you to ride? Oh, he’ll approach it with all the patience and joy that he usually reserves for his most cherished pursuits. He’ll guide you with an amused smile as you find your balance, his hand never straying too far from yours, ready to steady you at the slightest wobble.

But nothing makes his heart lift quite like seeing you experience the same exhilaration that riding brings him. That shared thrill—the wind in your hair, the laughter that bubbles up as you both race through sun-dappled trails—is something he treasures. It’s one of the few times where his worries, ambitions, and relentless pursuit of excellence fade into the background, and it’s just the two of you, free and unbound.

And when he looks over at you, eyes bright and a grin cracking through his otherwise composed demeanor, you realize that, yes, this is Frederick at his happiest—not the heir or the virtuoso, but a man who, for once, is simply living in the moment, sharing it with the one person who makes it all more vibrant.

Ah, the shadows of Frederick’s past—a specter that never quite left him, always lingering in the corners of his mind, whispering doubts and sowing restlessness. There are days when this presence looms larger, and he becomes a man consumed by his inner turmoil, pacing like a caged lion or retreating into the sanctuary of his study.

In these moments, it’s like he’s waging a war with his thoughts, wrestling with the frustration of creative blocks or the relentless voice that tells him he’s never enough. He might shut the world out, drowning himself in a storm of music that’s as chaotic as his thoughts, fingers flying over the keys, each note a plea for peace that never quite comes.

It’s during these times that your role is both simple and profound. You may not know it, but your quiet, unwavering presence is the lighthouse guiding him through the storm.

A soft touch, the brush of your hand against his arm as you pass by, or just sitting in the room while he spirals—these things are the lifelines he doesn’t always know how to ask for but desperately needs. And while you might think that just being there isn’t enough, oh, how wrong you’d be.

The truth is, your patience and silent support do more than calm the chaos; they remind him that he isn’t alone in the struggle. Your reassurance is like a hidden chord in his symphony, one he clings to when the rest feels dissonant.

Of course, it’s not always easy. There will be times when the emotional weight feels as if it’s pressing down on you too, and you catch yourself thinking, Is this worth it?

And then you remember—remember the man behind the polished façade, the one who laughs a little too loudly when he’s truly caught off guard, or who looks at you with such raw, unguarded affection that it makes your heart stutter. The one who finds solace in resting his head in your lap and who lights up when he shares the simple joy of a horseback ride. The man who, despite his brilliance and bravado, is just as flawed and human as anyone else.

And in those moments, it doesn’t feel so exhausting. It feels like you’re part of something beautiful and rare—like you’re holding a piece of someone that no one else gets to touch, no matter how flawless his public persona may seem.

You realize that while being with Frederick comes with its trials, it also comes with moments of breathtaking vulnerability and love so consuming that it makes every struggle worth it. Because underneath the charm, the intensity, and the restless ambition is a man who, at the end of the day, needs you more than he’ll ever admit out loud. And that? That makes it all worthwhile.

[vodika-vibes]

Hard Times

Summary: You’ve been hiding your problems from Jesse, he has so many things to worry about already and you don’t want to add to his problems. Only, he’s coming home and you’re not sure you can hide this from him.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Jesse x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1266

Warnings: Nightmares, Reader is having prophetic dreams about order 66

A/N: Do I have over 80 requests sitting in my inbox? Yes, yes I do. Did I want to write this instead? Yes, yes I did. Anyway, happy reading!

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

You’re glad Jesse is home.

Sure, he has a few more scars than he did when he left. And sure, his armor is a little more dinged up, a little more worn in some places, but he’s here and he’s alive and you’re so happy about it that you cried when you saw him.

His first day back is always a little strained. 

It takes time for him to decompress from being on the ship, but a good meal and a hot shower do wonders. Plus, he can pull you in for a hug or a kiss, and every time he does you can feel the tension draining from his body.

And when he lays next to you in bed, his arms secure around you and his face pressed into your hair, he falls asleep in a matter of moments. 

You wonder if it makes you a horrible person that you resent him for that, a little.

You haven’t had a good night's sleep in weeks. Your nights are haunted by blood and screams and a cold that lingers even when you jolt awake from your nightmares. And, even after you wake up, your hands tremble for hours after the fact, and some nights you even have to throw up, the dreams are so bad.

So that’s where you find yourself. Safely wrapped in Jesse’s arms, eyes burning from how tired you are, and exhausted down to your bones. But too afraid of your dreams to actually fall asleep.

Honestly, you're surprised that he didn’t clock your exhaustion when he showed up this morning. Everyone else in your life has.

He’ll notice in the morning, you know. Jesse is stupidly observant when he’s not recovering from a long deployment. 

Jesse sighs in his sleep, his arms tightening around you as he pulls you closer. Almost as if you’re a beloved teddy bear. You turn your head to watch him sleep for a moment. 

He looks peaceful. Untroubled. As if the stress of his life doesn’t exist now that he’s here, in your bed. 

You have to fight the urge to brush your fingers across his cheek. Even a light touch will be enough to wake him up, and that’s the last thing you want right now.

How could you be afraid of anything with Jesse right here?

And slowly, without your permission, your eyes flutter closed as sleep claims you.

Cold. It’s so cold.

Lights dim, and then go out completely, drowning you in a sea of frigid darkness. Only a few dim lights remain, but they’re so far away. Too far away.

The more the lights go out, the colder it gets.

Is this how it ends? Is this how everything ends—

“Cyare! Wake up”

Your eyes snap out, and it takes you a moment to realize that you’re still safely in bed. Jesse’s hands are on your shoulders, and he looks worried, though the expression fades as your gaze meets his.

“Jess—” You’re trembling from the cold, it feels as if someone shoved ice into your bloodstream.

“You were having a nightmare,” He grabs a fleece from the end of the bed and drapes it over you, it won’t help. You know from experience, “Your temperature just dropped, are you okay?”

His hand presses against your cheek, and he frowns before he leans to the side table and grabs his comm, “I’m calling Kix. You’re like ice.”

“I’m okay,” Your tongue feels heavy and clumsy, “I’ll be alright when the sun rises.”

Jesse stares at you, unimpressed, “Yeah. No. I’m calling Kix.”

You sigh, and your gaze flickers to the chrono next to the bed. Four hours. You’ve only slept for four hours. Jesse moves out from under the covers, and you watch as he slips into the fresher, still listening to his brother. 

He returns with a thermometer and passes it to you.

You already know what it’s going to say, but you stick the small device under your tongue anyway. Your temperature is going to be edging towards hypothermic, but not so low that you’re actually in danger.

At least, that was what Spoogle told you when you started having these nightmares.

It beeps and you hand it back to Jesse, who dutifully reports the number to his brother. Whatever Kix says clearly bothers Jesse, based on the way his eyes narrow at you, and then he hangs up the comm.

“Jesse?”

“Kix says to get you into a warm shower. Not hot, but warm.”

“Jesse, I’m fine.”

He takes your hands, pulls you out of the bed, and tugs you towards the fresher, “Forgive me if I don’t believe you. Kix is on his way right now.”

“It was just a nightmare, Jesse. Really, I’ve been dealing with this for a month now.” 

His hands pause from where they’re tugging your sleep shirt off, and he pins you in place with a disappointed look, “Your temperature has been dropping like this every night for a month? And you didn’t see a doctor?”

“I…well…Spoogle said—”

He sighs and turns to start the water, “Babe, I love you but you’re such a dingbat sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“Your lips are blue.” He counters flatly, and then he turns and lifts you into the shower. The warm water burns against your icy skin, and you flinch out of the way.

Jesse’s frown deepens, and he turns the temperature down a little, “How’s that?”

Hesitantly you hold your arm under the water, and when the water doesn’t burn like fire, you step under the spray of water fully. “It’s better,” You admit, as the shivering starts to slowly subside.

“Good.” He scans you for a moment, “So, these nightmares. What are they about?” Jesse asks as he props open the fresher door so he’ll be able to hear the doorbell when Kix arrives.

You shrug and fold your legs to sit on the floor of the shower. You’re too tired to stand, “I don’t remember the details. Just the cold, and the blood. And the dark.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

You’re quiet for a moment, and then you sigh, “You’re fighting a war, Jesse. I didn’t want to distract you.”

He sighs as well and crouches next to the tub, his hand coming out to press against your now-soaked hair, “I’d like it if you told me these things, cyare. We’re supposed to be partners.”

“Sorry.”

“I forgive you.” His hand moves to cup your cheek.

“...I should get out of the shower before Kix gets here.”

“No.”

“...but I’m naked?”

Jesse huffs out a laugh, “It’s Kix, and he’s coming here in his capacity as a medic. I don’t think he’ll care that you’re naked.”

“Oh.”

Something softens on his face, “If it bothers you, though, then we can get you dressed before he gets here.”

You pause and then nod slowly, “I’d prefer that.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” His hand is still so gentle against you, that you sigh and lean into his touch.

“Love you, Jesse.”

“I know, cyare. I love you too.” He runs his thumb across your lips, “The fact that you’re sick is probably why you’re having these nightmares. Kix will help.”

“...yeah.”

You know, somehow, that the dreams are warnings. But how are you supposed to say that? You’re no Jedi. You are just some lady from the lower levels who works as a translator. 

Maybe he’s right, though. Maybe your dreams aren’t a warning of something to come. But, if they get much worse, maybe you’ll ask Jesse to bring you to the temple.

Just in case.

@imabeautifulbutterfly

@n0vqni

@bad4amficideas

@justiceandwar98

@mira-loves-star-wars

@tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar

@trixie2023

@kimiheartblade

@padawancat97

@falconfeather23435

@etod

@bb8-99

@kiss-anon

@continous-mistakes

@yoitsjay

@liz-stat

@cc--2224

@adriennelenoir

@cdblake1565

@sweater-sloot

@heidnspeak

@wax-birds

@silly-starfish

@lonewolflupe

@maniacalbooper

@rebell-ious

[saveyourblood]

Pretty Boy - Ch 2 (Evan Buckley x Reader) (Eventual Buddie x Reader)

Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1

A/N: This is such a niche story and I am desperate for validation, please tell me if you enjoyed reading! Word Count: 3.4k Warnings: descriptions of gun violence, mental health issues/suicide ideation (nothing overly graphic IMO)

Unlike some people who work in this building, you know how to take orders. So, instead of dragging your feet and prolonging the inevitable, you go to Bobby’s office the second you get back from the call. Hen tries to say something to you, but you’re so focused on having this conversation behind you that you ignore her. 

Despite the door being cracked open, you knock a few times. 

“Come in,”  Bobby says. 

You step in. He looks up. 

“Ah,” he remarks as if it’s a surprise to see you. “You can close the door behind you.” 

You close the door and lean against it. 

“Have a seat,” Bobby instructs as he files through some random papers. 

You let out a sigh. You were hoping to be in and out, but Bobby clearly has other ideas. Still, you do as you’re told. 

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened with Buck.”

As if you’d be in here for anything else. 

“Are you gonna write me up?” You ask instinctually. You’ve never been formally disciplined, so the question is gnawing at you. 

“Buck wants me to.”

You snort. “Buck wants a lot of things; most children do.”

“You’re a year younger than him,” Bobby points out. 

It’s true—Buck is 26, and you’re 25. But in this context especially, age is just a number. You’re a 25-year-old advanced practice paramedic with 3 years of experience who acts their age. Buck is a 26-year-old firefighter in his probationary period who acts like a frat boy.

“Are you going to write me up?” You repeat. 

Bobby gives you a look, then sighs with a crooked smile. “No. But if you do anything like that again, you’ll be hearing from me and Sergeant Grant.” 

“Fair enough,” you cede. 

There are a few silent beats in the conversation. This is why Bobby made you sit—he has more to say. 

“Why does he bother you so much?” Bobby asks.

“Literally everything I told him: he’s wreckless and he’s gonna get someone killed if he doesn’t change.” 

“So why not teach him to do better, to be better?”

“Trust me, Cap, I’ve tried,” you chuckle. “I mean, even earlier today, I taught him how to clear an obstruction in a neonatal airway. And honestly? For a few minutes, when he was running down the stairs with that baby in his arms, I thought, ‘Hey, maybe he isn’t so bad after all.’ And then he yells at Sergeant Grant, and he proves me wrong. Again.” 

“I’m talking to him and Sergeant Grant about how everything went down,” Bobby says. 

“I’m not telling you that to get him in trouble, I just…” You take a deep breath through your nose and let it out as a sigh. “It felt like no one was holding him accountable. And I’ve tried playing nice, and I’ve tried teaching him, and he still had the nerve to pretend that he can play god. And I just… lost it, and thought that maybe if I treat him like a man would, he would finally listen to me.”

Bobby nods, taking in everything you’ve said.  

“You think I don’t hold him accountable?” He eventually asks. 

You let out another sigh. “If Buck worked under any other LAFD Captain, they would have canned his ass about three months ago.”

“But is that the right thing to do?” Bobby counters. “This job is tough, and it isn’t something that can be taught overnight. Buck has potential—he could be an invaluable asset some day.”

“Is firing him the right call? Honestly, Bobby, I have no idea,” you admit. “But if people have to get hurt in order for Buck to be good at his job, then it isn’t worth the price.” 

Bobby ended up firing Buck a few days later. It wasn’t for what happened with Sergeant Grant; it was because, apparently, Bobby caught him having sex with some girl on a roof. He used one of the fire trucks to drive there. The moron didn’t realize they have GPS trackers. You got all of this information in a text from Hen. 

You turn the corner to the locker room, planning to put away your keys and wallet before starting your shift like you always do. You didn’t expect to see Buck sitting on the bench in front of the lockers. 

You plan on opening your locker, throwing your stuff in it, and leaving before Buck can say anything. The second you lift the lever, though, Buck turns his head towards you. 

He doesn’t say anything, and you definitely aren‘t going to break the silence. 

“So you heard, huh?” Buck says. 

You close your locker and spin the lock to scramble it. “Yeah, I did.” 

“Aren’t you going to say anything else?” 

“Tough break. Sorry, man,” you say with a shrug. You turn on your heel to leave.

“That’s it?” Buck says with a laugh. “A few days ago, you were slamming me against an ambulance, and now… nothing? Aren’t you supposed to say, ‘I told you so’?”

Buck doesn’t even work at the 118 anymore, and he still has a way of getting under your skin. You close your eyes, hoping you can gain some composure before you say anything.

“I’m sorry for pushing you; that was unprofessional,” you say and make your second attempt at leaving.

“But that’s all you're sorry for,” Buck says, rising to his feet. 

You turn around and eye him from head to toe. His chest isn’t puffed out in that hypermasculine way it normally is. Buck shifts his weight between feet, and when the pressure of your stare becomes too much, he breaks eye contact. 

“It’s like Sergeant Grant said: I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” you eventually reply.

“Then say it: you’re happy to see me go.”

Jesus Christ, he can be such a baby. 

“Okay, fine, you wanna go there?” you retort, taking a step forward. “You wanna know the worst thing about you, Buck?” 

He just looks at you. 

“You. You’re the worst thing about you. Because you could’ve been good. You’ve got decent skills, and you have heart, but you have no discipline. You can’t take orders, and you can’t look at a woman for more than thirty seconds without having sex with her. You’re a 16-year-old boy trapped in a 26-year-old man’s body, and ever since you started, you haven’t done anything to change it. You get in your own way and are too busy flirting or running your mouth to even realize it.”

You take another step towards him to ensure he hears what you’re about to say. “You could’ve been good. And I hope that shit haunts you. Because maybe, it’ll finally make you grow up.”

You start to make your exit again but linger in the doorway. You turn back around; there’s one more thing you want to say.

“I’m not happy to see you go, Evan. In fact, I was really hoping you would prove me wrong.”

And with that, you’re gone. 

You and Hen go out on a ‘shortness of breath’ call that ends up being a STEMI — a heart attack. You get him to the nearest hospital in five minutes, and if they can get him to the cath lab, he has a really good shot at surviving it. The patient’s wife hugs both you and Hen, thanking the two of you for doing such a wonderful job. You savor the feeling; most calls don’t end this way. 

When you pull into the station, there’s an engine missing. At first, you think it’s no big deal: the boys are probably out on a fire call. Then you see Bobby standing where the engine’s supposed to be.

“What’s going on, Cap?” Hen asks as she closes the door to the rig. 

“There’s an engine missing.”

“Yeah, clearly,” you chuckle. 

“There were reports of a residential break-in on Lambert Street in Winnetka,” Bobby continues. 

“Damn,” Hen whistles. 

You both heard something about that over the scanner on your drive back to the station; there was a suspected hostage, a young girl. Last you heard, the subject was trying to flee by motorcycle. 

“All of the 118 firemen are accounted for,” Bobby concludes.

You and Hen share a look. Who has a track record of borrowing engines without permission?

The truck pulls up and slowly backs into the garage. You catch a glimpse of the driver in one of the rearview mirrors. 

“Pretty Boy,” you say simply. 

Buck steps out of the truck, still wearing the jeans and long-sleeved grey shirt you last saw him in. “I know what this looks like.”

“Looks like you took the engine out in your street clothes,” Bobby says as he approaches the younger man. 

“I didn't really have time to change,” Buck counters. He doesn’t say it in his normal cocky tone, though. Frankly, he looks nervous. 

“Athena Grant called me, wanted to tell me what an asset you are.” Bobby continues. “Told her she was half right.”

Buck frowns. “Are you giving me another chance?” 

“You’ve used all your chances; so have I,” Bobby says, “because somehow I have failed to communicate to you how lucky we are to do what we do.”

Bobby starts to walk away, but Buck isn’t letting him get away that easy. 

“You're wrong, Bobby. I absolutely do get what a privilege it is to serve here,” Buck says, “and you know what? You were right to fire me.”

That makes Bobby stop dead in his tracks.

“I was a punk,” Buck continues, “still am one. But I'm a punk who understands what he lost. Just… needed you to know that.”

“I hope you mean that. Now go get dressed.” 

Buck stands cluelessly for a second, then turns to you and Hen. “I think I’m not fired.” 

“Your shift’s not over yet,” Hen points out. 

You go to follow her, but Buck stops you by calling your name. 

“I just wanted to tell you, uh…” Buck says, wringing his hands together. “I’m gonna prove you wrong.”

Normally, words like that coming out of his mouth would set your skin on fire. Between the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes, though, something in your gut tells you to hear him out. 

“Yeah?” You ask simply, waiting for him to elaborate. 

“Some day, I’ll be good,” he says, “but until then, I’ll be better.”

Buck extends a hand for you to shake. It’s the most chivalrous thing you’ve seen him do since you met him. You look at his hand, then at his eyes. There isn’t a trace of humor in his gaze. You take his hand and shake it. 

“I look forward to seeing it.”

Your first call of the shift is to an amusement park where one of the rides malfunctioned. A rider was thrown from the ride as it was moving, and it sounds like he’ll be DOA. When the operator deployed the emergency breaks, though, it meant the rest of the train stopped at the top of a loop, which one rider is now dangling out of. 

Buck is the first to volunteer to climb the ladder and harness the passenger. You’re not surprised. He’s grown a lot in the last few weeks, but he still jumps at every exciting opportunity, no matter how dangerous it may be. Maybe that’s just how Buck is. 

“Hey, he’s asking about his friend,” Buck radios once he’s at the top. 

“Chimney, how’s the kid on the ground?” Bobby radios. 

You look up and shake your head. 

“We lost him,” Chim radios back. 

“All right, I don't need the people up there seeing that. So, do me a favor... He survived, right? Get him on a gurney. You know the drill,” Bobby instructs.

“Copy that,” Chim replies. 

Once you and Chimney get him on the gurney and out of everyone’s sight, you look up at Buck. 

“Come on,” Chimney mutters encouragingly. “Come on, Buck.” 

After a painfully long minute, you see the man’s grasp on the rollercoaster falter. Then, you watch him let go. You close your eyes before you see him hit the ground, but the sound will echo off of your eardrums for a while. 

You go the rest of the night without seeing Buck; you don’t share another call, and when you’re not out in the field, you’re asleep in the bunks. It’ll probably kill you in the long run, but these days, you learn to sleep whenever and wherever you can. 

When you wake up for morning report and breakfast, Buck is already sitting at the table. You wipe the sleep out of your eyes and get a cup of coffee before sitting across from him. 

Bobby was nice enough to make breakfast; he knows how hard these calls are. No matter how many you get, it’ll never get easier. 

Bobby sets a plate in front of Buck. 

“I’m not hungry,” he says almost instantaneously. 

“This is America, Buckaroo,” Chim replies as he sets some silverware on the table. “Eating has nothing to do with being hungry.

“Man, I was right there. You know, all he had to do was reach up and grab my hand,” Buck says instead.

“People do funny things at times like that,” you offer, sipping your drink. “ Sometimes they just freeze up.”

“I’ve never lost anyone before,” Buck says quietly. He looks up at you. “Does it get any easier?” 

Bobby answers for you. “No.” 

“Look, people die, and that’s part of the gig, right?” Chim says as he sits next to you. “See, your problem is, you're looking at every job like it's a long-term relationship. They're one-night stands, man. In that moment, they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes... it's on to the next one.”

“How silly of me to think you’d say something productive,” you roll your eyes.

Chim furrows his brows. “What?”

“You’re such a man,” you say to Chim, then turn to Buck. “Look, dude, we all go through it, and you just have to figure out a way to deal with it,.” You pause. “You know why we wear these uniforms?”

“Sex appeal?” Chim answers, which earns him a quick kick to the shin from you. 

“So people can easily identify us,” Buck responds. 

“That’s true, but… I don’t know, I like to think it’s because when we take it off, we can leave it all behind us. Right now, you’re firefighter Buckley, but when your shift is over, you’re Buck. It just… symbolizes letting go, I guess.”

“I see his face every time I close my eyes,” Buck says. “Does that happen to you?” 

“It’ll pass,” you promise. 

“And if it doesn’t?”

You stare at Buck for a moment. It’s hard to imagine that this is the same man who mouthed off to a police Sergeant mere weeks ago. 

“Then you talk someone,” you eventually say. “A friend, a therapist, a bartender… you find a way to let it out, and then you let it go.”

 

Once again, you don’t see Buck for hours. You heard on the scanner that the 118 responded to several rescue calls, none requiring an RA unit. You spent the rest of your shift bouncing from call to call and ER to ER, seeing everything from stab wounds to childbirth. It’s shifts like this that remind you why you do what you do. It’s chaotic, stressful, and bloody, but it is fun. After a certain point, you don’t even have to use your brain; the adrenaline in your veins kicks your brain into autopilot, and your pounding heart is just along for the ride. 

You step into the communal locker room, completely exhausted. You still have to change, and considering everything you’ve witnessed, you should probably shower too. Most of all, you want to go home and crawl into your bed. 

Buck is sitting on the bench in the locker room, similar to how he was a few weeks ago after he was ‘fired.’ Just like you, he’s still wearing his uniform. His head is bowed between his shoulders as his elbows rest on his knees. This time, his head doesn’t perk up when you open your locker. 

“I heard you used The Manuever today,” you spark the conversation. “Nice save.”

Buck finally looks up and then chuckles quietly. “Yeah, if only I could’ve done that a few days ago.” 

You take a seat next to him. “Still thinking about Devon, huh?” 

“I’m trying not to, I just…” Buck says, then cuts himself off as he shakes his head. 

“It’s easier said than done,” you conclude. 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah,” you agree. 

Both of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments. You open your mouth a few times only to close it. You don’t want to tell this story; you hate even thinking about it. But if you’re going to sit here and tell Buck that he has to let things go, you have to do the same. It’s only fair. 

“The first person I lost… her name was Katherine Vanec. She was 17 years old, wearing a University of Washington shirt, white shorts, and black Converse High Tops. We got a call from her mother, who was at work when she started getting strange texts from Katherine. It was supposed to be a welfare check, and when the cops got there, they found her locked in her bedroom. When fire and rescue broke down the door, she had a .22 caliber revolver pressed to her temple.”

“Jesus,” Buck mutters. 

“Katherine had a history of Borderline Personality Disorder and suicidal ideation. She figured out that her high school sweetheart had been cheating on her for almost a year. They made plans together, I guess — they were gonna go to the same school, find a place off-campus to live together. He pulled the rug right out from under her, and she couldn’t take it.”

“So what happened?”

You smile sadly. “By the time we arrived, a negotiator had been talking to her for almost ten minutes. They thought she was in a good spot that all she had to do was put the gun down, and we would swoop in and 5150 her.”

“Involuntary admission,” Buck says. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. “That didn’t happen. When the negotiator asked her to set the gun down, she lost it. She kept talking about how every time before, she chickened out, and she couldn’t let that happen again. She turned the gun on us.”

“Suicide by cop.”

You nod as a few tears well in your eyes. Even all these years later, that case haunts you. “Her finger wasn’t near the trigger; she didn’t want to hurt anyone. She just didn’t want to be alive anymore, and she couldn’t think of another way out. I can still hear the sound of the bullets tearing through her.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Buck asks softly. 

You wipe at your eyes and clear your throat. “Let it out and let it go,” you answer, then nudge his shoulder with yours. “Your turn.” 

Buck smiles; the expression is bittersweet. “I keep replaying what happened. I can’t shake this feeling that there’s something else I could’ve done. Maybe I could have grabbed his arm, or maybe there’s something I could’ve said differently.”

“Or maybe, no matter what you did, it was always going to end that way,” you suggest quietly. “Maybe he felt the same way Katherine did—like he had no other way out. We can try to rescue people, but we can’t make them want to be alive. Some people just don’t want to be saved, Buck.” 

“That really sucks.”

You laugh. “Yeah, it does. I guess that’s why we have each other; it makes it suck a little less.” 

“‘Each other’ as in you and me?” Buck asks in a lighthearted tone. 

You roll your eyes, but secretly, you’re thankful for the change of pace. “‘Each other’ as in the 118, which technically includes you and me.” 

“Sounds like a copout.” 

You laugh and clap a hand on Buck’s shoulder before standing. “Have a good night, Buck.”

You make it to the doorway before he says your name. You look back at him. 

“Thank you,” he says softly. 

You bite your lip, but it isn’t enough to conceal your smile. “Anytime.” 

[moonspirit]

honestly with all the official arts of armin holding Annie’s hand, having his arm wrapped around her as she wears his cardigan in the actor au, them sticking side by side in the ambassador art etc, I have come to the conclusion that armin is very possessive 😭 not in a bad way though but he always has to cling on to her, he’s like a puppy always after her it’s so cute!!! He loves to be connected to her and has no shame in it when they’re in public he’s so !!! I’m so surprised they haven’t made one with him with his hand on her ass bahaha I wouldn’t even be surprised 😭😭

...

MAPPA, ARE YOU READING THIS ?!?!?!

THIS IS YOUR SIGN!!!!

But anon, it's CANON he's a physical kind of guy, and he HAS to have that hug or hand-hold, boy is just built for skinship! Anyone who says Armin isn't reaching for Annie's hand or shoulder or waist (or at the bare minimum, her pinkie) whenever he can, can come and fight me T/////T It's sooo adorable idhgdsoghEOIgheg he'll malfunction without his hourly dose of Annie-Touchy, I think.

Actually whatever universe you think of this fact in, it makes your heart melt doesn't it T^T Canonverse, Modern AU, Actor AU, what have you - he's absolutely in love with expressing his love for her in every single way, and one of those is physical touch. Dsjhfahdeegoieghldfsdk HELP he's so puppy-in-love!

... for sure her ass is a target at some point in time aslkdashfoahf-

[hulloitsdani]

It’s time for the big one. Book 3!!! My beloved!!!

Okay I’m coming out swinging with this one, but I think I liked book 2 better— HEY put those pitchforks down let me explain myself.

I think, as a first time read, book 3 is really god damn good. There’s genuinely so much to love about it and it marked the moment I personally fell in love with Heroes. The way it expands on the world and takes advantage of FEH’s setting is fantastic, the aesthetic is hands down the best one, and many other things that I’ll dig further into in just a moment. HOWEVER, Book 3 has a pacing problem. And it unfortunately becomes really obvious on a second watch, because you’re already aware of the major twist.

The first five chapters? Gold. Pure gold. Inject the awkward family dinner dynamic directly into my veins. But once we’re in the realm of the dead? Ehhhh the pacing gets a bit more meandering. It’s not as tight in comparison to Book 2. I think the only time book 2’s narrative drags a little is with Loki’s among us shenanigans, but even then it’s not that bad. Outside of that? We are on a rollercoaster and it is not slowing down. Book 3, in my opinion, needs to take notes from that.

Let’s us Helbindi as an example. The reason why his character is effective, despite his limited screen time, is because the story is making full use of Leagjarn and Leavatein’s character building scenes. It’s not only building their dynamic, it’s also building his character. It’s creating the context necessary for us to understand exactly what it means when we learn that he has a younger sister that he is trying to care for in Múspell under Surtr. Book 3 lacks those multipurpose scenes. Most are exactly what they say on the tin. This greatly dampers its ability to juggle our cast of colorful characters in its short timeframe. And perhaps there is no bigger example of that than the character of Eir.

Eir almost feels like she could be cut for the narrative altogether, which is a shame, because man I like her. She deserves a more fleshed out narrative about overcoming her abuse and traumas. In the same way that I’m invested in Fjorm’s vengeance against Surtr, I want to be invested in Eir growing out of Hel’s control. But unfortunately the two characters we mainly see her interacting with is Líf (which are good scenes) and Kiran, you know, our silent protagonist. And Eir herself is pretty quiet. Not exactly a good mix for effectively communicating a lot about her character quickly.

Ironically, there’s a scene in chapter 1 part 5 where Anna is suspicious of Eir and is grilling into her, and it’s honestly a way more interesting dynamic. It’s immediately dropped as other plot developments occur, which is a damn shame because I think that could have been a fun answer to this conundrum. Anna could start suspicious, then immediately feel really bad about being suspicious upon learning what Eir has gone through, but then has those suspicions confirmed when it’s revealed that Eir was ordered to betray them. It would both make sense for Anna to pick up on this threat given the Order’s history and it might also make Eir putting all her cards on the table a lot more impactful.

But that’s enough criticism, because my guys, it’s book 3. Like holy shit I love book 3. If you enjoy FEH, you don’t need me to sell you on book 3. Book 3 gave us Líf. Líf is a sad wet cat of a man and I adore every second he’s on screen. The way he recontextualizes Alfonse and his dynamic with the people in his life adds years to my life. Your honor I require that the skeleton jello man be in a god damn situation with no breaks. To the blender with him.

Speaking of, I was surprised to find how incredibly depressed Líf is. I thought there would be a lot more rage present, but no he’s just sad. This makes every scene between him and Sharena delightfully painful. Chapter 12 part 1 (ie after Líf collapsed a building on top of everyone and has a chit chat with Sharena) might be one of my favorite scenes thus far. As they’re sitting in the rubble of the ruined castle they all called home, they have a painfully genuine little heart to heart. Líf needs to get a little meltdown out of his system before getting back up again and does so by talking to the only person he’s ever known how to. Twisting the knife on it is how it’s all phrased in a way that showcases that it’s just Alfonse. Painfully Alfonse. The same Alfonse who tried to logic his way out of being hurt by self isolating and distancing himself from others. The same Alfonse who tried to double down on that failing ideology, before finally letting his walls come down. It’s delightful. I love how consistent Líf feels with Alfonse’s previous actions.

Also, some of his lines are just really funny? “The realm of the dead is no place for the likes of you, living boy.” now lives rent free in my brain forever. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. On a surface level, that’s an odd line and bizarre insult. But the more you learn about Líf, the better it gets. When was the last time he talked to living person outside of the realm of the dead? Do think he rehearsed that in his head for the day he knew he’d inevitably face down his younger self? Is he internally cringing or fully committed? No matter the answer it’s hilarious. God damnit I love Líf.

In other news, I may have glazed over it before, but oh my god those opening chapters are delightful. Awkward family dinner my beloved. I genuinely cannot get enough of it! I am putting Gustav under a god damn microscope. All of his scenes are so god damn fascinating. I loveeee this guy and his consequences on the narrative. Usually, when there’s a somewhat morally complicated character who is also a parent, the parental qualities of that character are seen as the morally good parts. But with Gustav, that’s where the moral complexities of his character reside. He’s not a bad person, he’s a good leader, he’s a great husband, but he’s a complicated father to both Sharena and Alfonse. Hell, he’s complicated for those exact reasons! It’s so god damn fun to see. The love is there, but so is the flaws of every person involved.

The writing on this guy is peak too. Everyone is nervous and stuttering when talking to him, which is behavior that we haven’t seen out of most of these characters up to this point. Surtr resurrecting himself didn’t even begin to strike the same level of momentary blind terror that proceeds Gustav rolling up to witness the overly dangerous dumb shit our protagonists are getting up to. And it makes sense! That’s their dad! And king of the whole nation! Our protagonists care about his opinion more than most. It’s so awkward and I love it! The best part, in my opinion, is that the only character not at least a little nervous to talk to him is Henriette. I don’t know what exactly it is about this that gets me, but oh boy does it get me. They’re married, your honor. I would even be so bold as to claim that’s his other half. They mean a lot to me. Henriette did not deserve to be caught in the cross fire of the FE dad curse, but damn does it make good drama.

And last but not least, Sharena. Oh boy do I love every scene with Sharena this season. To the point where I’m disappointed that we don’t get more. Her dynamic with Alfonse is called to attention for obvious reasons, but I enjoy the subtle way it’s pushed to the forefront before the stage light came on. The royal siblings got each other’s back— to the point where if one goes down, it’s like the other lost a limb. I really like that and it’s a shame the pacing doesn’t allow for more of it.

I also want to draw that scene where she stops Líf’s assassination attempt so so bad. She deserves to kick his ass and then be confused about his behavior with Alfonse later.

Anyway, that’s where I’m gonna leave this one. I feel like I could go on for forever. More than already have, anyway. Book 4 is up next and will mark the half way point. Wish me luck

Um. So. I may have gotten stressed and started transcribing FEH’s story mode. Might currently have all of book 1 written down. Perhaps a third of the way into book 2.

This started as a way to have the preface chapters handy since they’re not replayable. But then I looked on the FE wiki and saw that they only have a small fraction of the chapters written down. And that scared me, because means that my hyperfixation has a nonzero chance of becoming lost media if the app were to go down one day. So now I have all of book 1 in my back pocket, including the preface, two intermissions, and the two relevant xenologues. Once I’m further along and have a few more books accounted for, I have no problem making the document public. But until then I encourage others to also write some of its content down. Just in case, you know? Especially those prologues and Tempest Trials.

With that PSA out of the way, omg book 1 hi!!!! It’s been forever!!!!

Apparently, I haven’t reread book 1 in its entirety since I first played Heroes! I’ve gone back to look for specific scenes and replayed the levels on harder difficulties (self inflicted or otherwise), but I haven’t done a thorough second pass before. Which was news to me, because that meant I was consistently blindsided by scenes and characterization that I completely forgot about! Did any of you remember that Zacharias was apparently Alfonse and Sharena’s childhood friend? I didn’t! But there it is, chapter 7 part 5 after battle cutscene, Anna specifies that aspect of their relationship. That’s crazy! How does the timeline even line up on that??? If he spent his childhood in Askr, how did he manage to have a strong relationship with his significantly younger sister? How did he find himself rubbing shoulders with enemy royalty? Could he have inadvertently met Peony? I’m not changing my takes on his character, but I would love to know.

Speaking of character, apparently seven years spent writing a character naturally changes how they sound! Who would have thought. It made seeing the book 1 versions of our Askr trio a little jarring, but in an oddly nostalgic way! This was a phase of the game where the story, its characters, and its world existed with the singular purpose of introducing new players to what Heroes was trying to do. Which was, at the time, being a cute yet unobtrusive gacha app tie in with simplified FE mechanics to give you that gameplay fix on the go. And to its credit, it does do a good job of this! It ain’t a masterpiece, but I was charmed by its emphasis on showing off all these cool characters you could go summon. Ryoma gets to talk for a few lines and you are going to look at his very pretty art! But that meant that the world and characters of Zenith take a bit of a backseat. They’re not here to be too complicated. The Order of Heroes are the friendly faces that go on adventures and meet these heroes that you can summon for only $19.99. But we all know where the game and its story is going to go from here. That emphasis is going to wane as FEH grows into its own identity (and also earn IntSys over $1 billion worldwide).

But that’s a later development. Before that fundamental shift is where book 1 sits. It’s in this fascinating position where these characters have yet to solidify into their recognizable forms. And if you don’t believe me, chapter 9 part 4 has a scene where Sharena and Alfonse’s roles have reversed. For once, Sharena is posing the cautionary “what if the information we are getting from this total stranger is a trap?”, to which Alfonse responds “nah I’m getting a vibe that it’s fine and that we should believe him whole heartedly.” Like??? Huh???? It’s Bruno, but still, that’s hilarious! Alfonse’s pragmatism bordering on paranoia hasn’t established itself as a massive driver of his character yet. Nor has Sharena’s role as trusting emotional core and moral compass of the group. It was very easy to borderline Mandela Effect it into being there, but it isn’t. Not quite. There are hints, sure, but once again these characters were initially made to be simple at the time. The depth doesn’t quite exist yet.

It wasn’t until I was writing this very paragraph that it finally dawned on me why the Askr trio voice lines, especially Alfonse’s lines, are such a big deal. That's where Alfonse’s character arc with trusting Kiran resides. There's the pragmatism we know and love! It’s not super present in the text of book 1, but the depth of these characters can be found in the voice lines you unlock from building them and earning the crown jewel level 40 conversation. That’s where Alfonse’s arc with his self isolating behaviors crumbles at that sight of one silly tactician. That’s where Sharena finally wins a fight against her own loneliness by forming genuine friendship with this stranger form a strange land, who is appreciative of her loud eccentricities. That’s where Anna apologizes about her initial underestimation of Kiran, thanks them for being more reliable than she could have ever hoped for, and swears that whatever hell may come their way, they’re in this together. The books themselves don’t seem to reflect this characterization until book 2, where they overall act more in accordance with the rest of the narrative. It’s as if they're taking from the voiced lines’ example and extrapolating more on the story they imply.

The one standing in slight contrast to all this is Bruno, as he's the most interesting character in book 1. It's blaringly obvious he's Zacharias, but it's genuinely amusing how deep he is in his own gaslighting. He can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore his way out of this one folks, but he's certainly going to try! His lies aren't even that good, but it honestly contributes to how at wits end he is. Like, sure honey, I totally believe you that you just killed Zacharias. I bet he has an eight-pack too. Just take a nap for two minutes. But then everyone believes him because our protagonists have yet meld their group braincell. Overall, an amusing time.

I don't have a particular point I'm trying to make with this one. Just having a fun and pointing out the things I've noticed. Might give a little update for every book I complete. However many that will be.

[nbkdramathings]

…are people actually disappointed with Alchemy of Souls? Am I missing something every weekend?

[maacbrem]

Once again getting ready to watch critical role live while on episode 25/26 because I’m here for a good time not a making sense of the plot time

[beanmaster-pika]

A sizeable chunk of the fanbase (especially those who read the webtoon) seeing Collei in 3.0: aw thank goodness she’s doing well and even has two dads who are in love :)

Hoyoverse half a year later, writing Cyno and Tighnari into an event that in-game half of Mondstadt considers a lovers’ festival: shit shit shit shit shit we have to no-homo this

[sasheemo]

C'è sempre una prima volta (there is a first time for everything)

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Butch!Reader

Tags: One-Shot, Established Relationship, Strap-Ons (Rr), Frist Strap-On Experience (Rr), Smut with Fluff, Sexual Stereotypes, Mommy Kink and Praise Kink if you squint until your eyes hurt

Summary: You and Melissa have been together for almost a year and she wants to try something new in bed, you’re just taken aback by her request.

Word Count: 2.4k

Read on AO3

A/N: this was originally posted on 13.05.24 (AO3 only), but since I'm putting together a Masterlist, I decided to post it here too so that I could include it. This was the first fic (or anything really) I ever wrote , also english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes you might encounter. I added some Italian here and there in the fic and you will find the translations in brackets.

You had just finished giving your beautiful girlfriend her second orgasm of the night when she looked at your straight in the eyes asking if this time she could use the strap on you. You were both lying on your bed and she was still panting and high from her orgasm, but she seemed pretty serious about her question. 

Noticing your surprised - and kinda worried - expression, Melissa asked you what was wrong.

“No no, nothing! Just to be clear, I’m not saying no … it’s just that nobody ever asked me something like that. I honestly never thought somebody would even want to have sex with me with a strap”

“Ma cosa stai dicendo?! (What are you even saying?!) Why would you think that?” 

“Well, I mean, usually butches are seen as tops and I guess in my case that is what was always expected from me in a relationship. When I say that nobody ever asked something like that to me I mean it. I always felt like it was implied that if someone was supposed to use the strap in bed…that would be me. And nobody actually ever behaved differently, proved it wrong or cared enough to talk about it I guess…” you replied plainly but with a hint of hurt in your voice

Melissa looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. Was it anger? Was it disappointment? Was it sadness? “Hon, I never expected anything from you since the day we met. It’s not about other people’s expectations, what you think you owe them, it’s about what you want. As for me, I just want you. All of you without any stereotype, expectation or limitation. Fuck everyone else and their opinions!”. You look at her lovingly, knowing she is telling the truth as you never felt any kind of pressure from her, from day one you could always be your truest self with her. 

You prop your head forward looking for her lips, but you notice that she doesn’t move and lets you come to her. Once you’re an inch away you feel her sultry voice brushing your lips “Now, do you want me to fuck you senseless with that strap or not?”

You instantly switch your gaze from her mouth to her eyes just to find two piercing emerald pools looking straight into your soul. That look alone could have you coming in seconds. Every. Single. Time. 

“Yes please.” a whisper comes out of your mouth as you lower your gaze

“Good girl. Now, we are going to start slowly and if I hurt you, if you’re uncomfortable or if at any point you change your mind, just let me know, ok? Guardami (look at me) and tell me you understand.” 

You finally look back at her and your stomach just drops. There she is, fully naked lying next to you. This gorgeous, fierce, stern, dominating and yet so reassuring woman. “I do, I understand.”

On that note she gets up without saying a word, takes the strap that had been sitting next to you on the bed for the past minutes, and proceeds to put it on. Still lying in bed you look at her. You have to admit the sight was just mouth-watering. It wasn’t the strap, it was Melissa wearing it and knowing she was about to fuck your brains out with it.

Once she’s done she hops on the bed placing herself between your legs, before starting to caress your sides, chest and abdomen with her hands. You ease into her touch as you start to feel her nails scarping down your hips and upper thighs. You whimper as moans start escaping your lips.

“That’s it baby, rilassati (just relax) and let me make you feel good.” with that she pushes your legs a bit more apart, while tracing your inner thighs with her nails. 

You start to feel that familiar buildup in your lower abdomen and wetness pooling between your legs. 

“Mel, touch me please.” comes out of your lips almost as whisper

“I am touching you” her eyes snap up at you and a familiar electricity shots through your body when you recognize that look on your girlfriend’s face.

You’re enjoying this, but so is she. Probably even more than you right now. Teasing you and filling you up with anticipation. 

“Mmm, I-I need you inside of me Mel…”

“How badly?” She asks in the sultriest voice while her fingers run up your thighs and down your hips stopping before reaching where you need her the most. 

You cry out at her stopping and move your hips involuntarily. “So bad Mel, please, just ple-ahh!” Air gets sucked in your throat when you feel her fingers sliding through your folds. 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to change the sheets once I’m done with you. You’re dripping now e non ho nemmeno iniziato (and I barely even started).” 

You knew she was probably right but there was nothing you could do about it. She was just incredibly hot and you melted under her touch every single time. 

You didn’t even have time to form your thought about what she just said as you felt two fingers sliding into you.

“Oh my God Mel fuckkk” you screamed feeling how easily her fingers entered you. Melissa started moving them at an excruciatingly slow pace. As if you needed any time to adjust given how wet you were, she was just teasing. 

Seeing how desperate you were, starting to move your hips to get more friction, your girlfriend got the hint and picked up her pace. Wet sounds and moans filling the room as her pace fastened more and more. 

You were already getting close when you suddenly felt Melissa slipping her fingers out of you. Crying at the loss you shot her a pouty frustrated look, just to see her getting up on her knees and centering herself  between your legs.

You started to internally panic a little bit. You were aroused as fuck but this was still something new for you. As if reading your mind, your girlfriend looked at you. Her glance holding a warmth that would otherwise be out of character in a not so new situation. You gave her a silent nod and bit your bottom lip in anticipation, worry and arousal. 

Just a few seconds later you felt the tip of her cock sliding through your folds, stopping just above your clit. You moan, still biting your lip,  and your hips start moving again. 

She slides her cock up and down your pussy a few times to spread your wetness around and on her cock, before finally aligning herself to your entrance. You prop yourself up on your elbows just in time to see the tip disappear between your folds. 

“Am I hurting you baby?” Melissa checks in running her left hand across your thigh.

“No, please keep going Mel, I need more.” you cry out almost ashamed at your neediness. Melissa’s worried expression turning into a satisfied and mischievous one. 

In one swift motion she fills you up completely. You are surprised at how this is not hurting at all, you truly are that wet for her. Not that you doubted it. 

With her eyes fixated on yours, Melissa starts moving. Her hands are on your hips as she pulls out almost completely before sliding back in. She does that a few times before picking up her pace and setting a nice rythm, which is unfortunately not enough for you at the moment. 

“Fuck Mel, more! Fuck me harder baby please!” you cry out trying to reach for her thighs, your nails scraping the sheets. 

You whimper and moan at the sudden loss when a few seconds later you don’t feel her cock inside of you anymore. You look at her just in time to see drops of saliva dripping down her lips and feel them landing on your clit.

You feel every organ you have dropping, not just your stomach. “M-Melissa did you just-“

“Spit on your pretty cunt? Yes I did, why?”

“It-it’s just s-” that’s how little you manage to say between moans before she starts spreading it across your pussy with her cock. 

“It’s just so what baby?” She’s looking at you with a lustful grin and deep dark eyes. She bites her bottom lip waiting for your answer while she keeps sliding her cock over your wet pussy. 

“It’s just so hot.” you moan starting to move your hips again . “Please Mel, fuck me.” you’re basically crying out now and her eyes turn even darker. 

Without you even realizing, she suddenly slams her cock back into you, full lenght sliding in even more easily than before. She starts pounding you at a deliciously atrocious rythm. The sound of her hips colliding with your inner thighs fills the room and makes you both wetter. 

“You like feeling me deep inside you, filling you up? Mh?” her voice cuts through your bliss and you just close your eyes to try and not come on the spot. 

“Mmm fuck … fuck … yes! Yes I do, please don’t stop!” 

“I want you to look at me, open your eyes. Now.” The emphasis she puts on that last word made you quiver and you instantly opened your eyes. 

You couldn’t avoid looking down at where her cock was disappearing inside of you and coming out glistening, just to be slammed back in. Again and again. 

The rythm she was keeping, the sounds echoing through the room, her beautiful boobs bouncing at her every movement and her eyes never leaving yours. Everything was building up inside of you and you felt so close. 

Your moans and your breathing were frantic now. One hand gripping the sheets and the other gripping the strap’s leather belt across one of Melissa’s hips. 

She knew you were close as she bent forward to kiss you hard. It was a very sloppy kiss, tongues swirling in between moans and pantings. She placed her hands on both sides of your head with her perfectly sharp white nails gripping the sheets. You scratched down her back with both hands making her arch and hit a spot inside of you you didn’t even know existed. 

She was looking down at you, red curls falling all around you as you placed both your hands on her hips gripping the leather harness so tight “I-I think … I’m going to.. c-come” you cried out looking at her, pleading with your eyes.

Her hips were on autopilot, pounding into you with an animalistic rythm. “Ask nicely bimba (baby girl).” she whispered with a smirk plastered on her lips.

At this point you just couldn’t talk anymore. You felt so full and intoxicated by everything she was doing to you. You knew you couldn’t come without her permission though. So you took one last glance at her cock going in and out of you so quickly “Mel please PLEASE let come on you cock, please I can’t take it anymore!” was the pathetic cry that managed to escape your lips. 

She smiles down at you before swinging her hair to one side with a swift motion of her head, just a second before you feel her right arm slipping between your bodies. Her hand reaches  your clit while she starts thrusting into you even harder. You weren’t excepting that, you didn’t think for one split second her rythm could actually increase even more than it had. 

Her fingers start drawing fast circles on your clit and your legs start to shake. “Come for mama pretty girl.” with that permission you just moan loudly and let go. You see black and feel your pussy clenching around Melissa’s cock as one of the most powerful orgasms you ever experienced rushes through you. 

Yet she doesn’t stop. She gradually reduced her thrusting rythm to accompany you down your high. Not stopping even when you reopen your eyes, flustered and panting. Now going deadly slow, she starts feather kissing your face before connecting your lips in a long passionate kiss. Her movements now come to a stop but you both moan loudly into the kiss as her cock is still inside of you. 

“I’m going to pull out now, please relax for me baby, you did so good.” She says before giving you a kiss on the cheek, lifting herself up and pulling her cock out of you. She removes the harness and places everything at the end of the bed before coming to lie down next to you. 

She perks up on her left elbow and starts tracing figures on your abdomen with her right hand. Sharp nails causing you to have goosebumps all over. You turn to place your left hand behind her neck, pulling her into a loving kiss. You scarpe the back of her head, slightly pulling on messy red curls, while you kiss her passionately hoping all the love you feel for her will be felt through that kiss. 

She kisses you back with the same intensity, making you feel all the love in this world. You part after a while because you smiled into the kiss and Melissa is now looking at you with an amused and puzzled expression. So you also perk up on your elbow, to be directly in front of her and look her straight in the eyes. 

“I never thought I’d let anyone have me like that, let alone enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you for wanting to try this with me. You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted enough or wanted to try this with.” 

Taken aback by your words, her mouth hangs slightly open for a few seconds. Her eyes light up with tenderness and emotions most people wouldn’t imagine Melissa capable of showing. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this and for allowing me to see you like that. You’re incredibly beautiful amore mio (my love).” Melissa says before closing the few inches separating your mouths. And in that kiss you both feel how special your love is. 

You stay a bit like that, lying naked with your lips on her forehead and her face resting on your chest. Bodies intertwined as you slowly drift into sleep grateful for the amazing girlfriend life put on your path. 

[i-may-be-an-emu]

SFTH Fic Masterlist

#11. Inside The Mysterious Cube (Part Two)

Full masterlist here

Part One