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#but I try to remember tidbits about MCs and such!
misc-obeyme · 4 months
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to <3 anon, I was gonna say definitely play the event since you have the cheat cards, but playing through the battles can be time consuming the first time around if your team isn't built. Since you'd have to play everything one by one at least once (I'm so used to skipping the battles ajsjd). Once you get through everything once with an A or S rank (can't remember which), you can quick clear (and then you can collect AP/joker cards/other things to save up for when you're ready). You could also skip the story parts if you're worried about spoilers?
I am someone who plays both, and I can tell you it's wild. I'm stuck on OG around lesson 60, I need to build my cards more, but I'm completely caught up in NB and have full teams that are all 98+ level wise. I log in on both apps to do daily tasks every day
I do both events simultaneously, log in to collect the AP at both times (NB is priority because it loads faster), but I just quick clear the battles every night to get the prizes. NB is the one where I'll try to use up all my AP before work so that when I get home, it's fully replenished.
I love OG to death, present Mammon would have to be ripped from my hands, and I love how much more of his character we get to see in NB. But it is a little frustrating and discouraging when I can't get past battles in OG. I've been playing NB since day one, even without finishing OG, all because I didn't want to get "left behind". I've got so much uhh fomo (?) from past Mammon cards that I never had a chance to get in OG. Which has now turned into me having every single Mammon card in NB... 💀 Even memory cards that feature him (except HDD .5 charge mission memory card, I was broke at the time)
I am dedicated to this man 😭 anyway sorry that got kinda sad at the end. I have my reasons for loving both games, and OM Mammon will always have a chokehold on me. I'm gonna be old one day and using a cane that's probably yellow because it reminds me of him 💀 It's silly things like that that get me through the day, I even have a photo card of him in my wallet 😗
also apparently my store made 10k over predicted sales on Sunday. I don't know what the prediction was originally, but jesus 😭 there's been lots of wild customers and things going wrong, but I am still kicking. I run solely on caffeine and spite !!
i don't know if I rambled about it before, but I have ideas for what my mc would work as in the devildom. and I'm thinking about the dinner rotation in the HoL, but that's for another day's ask lol OKAY BYEE
- ✨ anon
Oh gosh, I am used to skipping the battles, too lol. It does depend on what your goals are, I think! I personally play through every event... though sometimes it's almost painful because the stories are often not great. (This one was especially underwhelming.) But I read them because sometimes you get good one liners lol. And I only grind for stuff if I want the cards, but if you wanted to use up your AP you might as well use it on events! Then you'll get rewards, even if you don't get the cards.
Yeah, OG is messed up when it comes to getting through all the lessons and NB is shaping up to be no better. But there are a lot more lessons in OG, so it takes longer. Back when I first started playing, I got through like the first two seasons and then didn't play the main story for months while I leveled my cards. Then the same thing happened between season three and season four lol. Then they were like NB is happening! And I was like oh hell no I am gonna finish season four if it kills me.
Yeah you got it with FOMO! Fear of missing out! I had that, too, with past cards that are just... lost to me forever. I did a similar thing, but with Barb. Every NB Barb card is belong to me! I've been spending my time getting some of the older ones from Lonely Devil in OG, too. And just unlocking everything like chats and what not.
LOL I'm loving the idea of little old you out there with a yellow cane 'cause of Mams, that's adorable!!
I have a few lil bits of merch and it absolutely brings me joy. Plus when you're old, you'll be free to do whatever you want. I feel like people tend to write it off as oh old people are so silly!
Caffeine and spite, ✨ anon, I swear I am concerned about you! I hope things calm down for you so you can take a nice break!
Hmmm I don't think I remember what your MC's job might be? But if you already told me, please feel free to tell me again!
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yukidragon · 1 year
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Sunny Day Jack - Love and Sex Headcanons
You read the title, you know what the topic is about; I’m going to be rambling off my personal headcanons for the romantic and sexual preferences of the main cast of Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack. This is as it applies to my fanfics Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another World, so I’ll be including my version of the MC, Alice King.
Content warnings: This fandom/game/content is for Adults Only. There is talk of sex in this post. A lot of it. I will be going into graphic detail at times, as well as touch on some serious issues on occasion, such as SA, trauma, negative body image, toxic relationships, religious guilt, homophobia, bigotry, past child abuse, sex work, and such.
While I intend to keep things mostly spicy and sweet, sometimes darker topics affect a person’s view about sex and preferences, since sex can be complicated that way. This is especially the case if a character deals with some traumatic experience that relates to their sex life/sexuality. I will try to trod lightly on the heavier topics when I can.
I must emphasize that, while I draw information from the game’s canon as shown in both versions of the demo, Sleepy Time Jack, as well as official information/art and development images/posts, ultimately these are my personal headcanons. They might not completely line up with what’s going to be canon in the final game. These are just what’s currently canon for the Sunshine in Hell continuity and what feels right to me personally when it comes to the characters.
I say currently canon since stuff changes as I develop things and play with the characters more. They’ve definitely evolved since I first played the demo. Heck, they’ve even evolved since I started working on this post due to how long it’s taken me to get this finally finished.
Since this post will be using official/development art to help illustrate my points at times, I want to give my friend Sauce full credit for their awesome art and for creating this game with all its wonderful characters and ideas in the first place.
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Please consider supporting them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team by signing up for the official patreon. Also, consider buying a full size print of this steamy cropped piece of art with a special toy included. It would help out a lot of lovely hard working people and give you access to the many cool posts on there, as well as juicy lore tidbits. A fair number of these posts influenced my headcanons, which you’ll only be able to see if you join up. Remember, don't share anything privately posted on patreon!
While I’m at it, here’s links to the official twitter, tumblr, itch, steam, and kickstarter pages for Sunny Day Jack, which are also places where I got information and inspiration for these smutty headcanons.
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
Okay, with disclaimers, promotions, and tags out of the way, let’s get down to the spice.
This post won’t encompass every single thing that the characters find arousing/attractive, since there’s no way that I can think of everything for one post, but I’ll write as many kinks, desires, and preferences that come to mind.
First, let’s have some general headcanons that apply to all the main characters. None of them have a preference when it comes to gender. It doesn’t matter what’s in someone’s pants or how they identify. What matters to them is what’s in their partner’s heart and usually that’s the most attractive quality a person can have.
Consent is king! All the characters want consent from their partner/love interest, particularly enthusiastic consent. While some might be pushier than others when it comes to wanting sex/romance, at the end of the day, “no” means “NO.” Everyone’s consent matters.
Now onto the specific characters, starting with the star of the show…
Jack(tor)
Jack has two sides to him - that of the character known as Sunny Day Jack that he’s trying to embody, and that of the actor who used to be known as Joseph Cullman. While he polished the rough edges off of the persona that he presents to the world, at the end of the day, he can’t change his likes and dislikes so easily. A lot of his desires as Jack have been influenced by the desires he had as Joseph… as long as they don’t cause him to break character. There’s a level of what’s “expected” and “acceptable” for him to like as the kid friendly Sunny Day Jack, and what this naughty, naughty yandere really desires deep down inside. We can see evidence of this in his BDSM test results.
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Overall, Jack is quite dominant when it comes to his sexual desires. Specifically, he’s a service top, focusing on controlling the scene with his partner’s pleasure in mind. He wants to make his partner feel his love in every sense of the word.
Jack is pansexual/panromantic. He doesn’t discriminate, and can find any sort of body type or personality attractive, but that doesn’t mean that he’s indiscriminately able to fall in love or lust with just anyone. His desire to be loved has led him to make poor choices in his past and has led to him growing attached to people who took advantage of how desperate he was to be loved.
Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are linked when it comes to Jack. He’s not going to desire someone sexually unless he’s experiencing romantic feelings towards them, so usually the two things come together at the same time.
Once Jack falls in love with someone, he is very, very loyal. It will take a lot to get him to let go of these feelings. He’s also very much the jealous type, wanting to monopolize the person he’s in love with, which results in him being fairly clingy. Though, he is willing to compromise on just how clingy he is for the sake of his partner’s wants and needs, provided that he’s not at risk of losing them. At the end of the day, he loves sincerely and wants the person he loves to be happy.
While Jack has claimed in an audio drama Q&A posted on patreon that he theoretically might be open to entering a polyamorous relationship, ultimately, what he really wants is a closed monogamous relationship. He might have lots of love in his heart to give to as many people as will accept it and him, but at the end of the day, he can’t stand the idea of losing someone who actually loves him, particularly the person he loves the most. As I’ve mentioned in past headcanon posts about Jack getting into a poly relationship, (which you can read here and here) I don’t think it would be a healthy balanced relationship between all parties if he were to go into a poly relationship, and as such I think he’s better suited to a single partner.
That isn’t to say that I don’t think Jack would refuse to have sex with someone besides his partner… provided that his partner is the one who wants him to do so. He might not want it himself, but he is willing to consent to it provided his partner is there to watch him do it. He’s willing to consent to quite a lot of things for the sake of love, even if he dislikes them or it makes him uncomfortable. After all, if he’s willing to kill for the sake of his love, there’s a lot of other unsavory things that he’ll be willing to do.
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As shown in this early development art by Sauce, Jack isn’t exactly happy to encourage his rival to hurt themselves, as we see from his forced smile, but he’ll do what he must for the sake of keeping his sunshine. Even though this is technically not-canon, it has helped shape my idea of how going down this path causes damage to his psyche and isn’t something he would want if he could avoid it.
In a lot of ways, Jack is a sexual chameleon, eager to please his partner. While he is keen to try different things and experiment in the bedroom, he won’t push any kink that his partner doesn’t want or reacts badly to. Sure, he’ll attempt to convince them to give something a try when it comes to a kink that excites him if they express reluctance, and he’ll want to know what’s wrong so he can fix it or otherwise accommodate them if possible, but at the end of the day, he won’t ever force anything onto his partner. Their pleasure is his pleasure.
Jack is addicted to his partner’s love, attention, desire, pleasure, and validation above all else. This is why he thrives on hearing his partner praise him and tell him just how much they love him. Words of affirmation is his primary love language, as we’ve seen with how ready he is to shower his sunshine with words of love, and how much it meant to him that his sunshine verbally confirms that they love him.
Jack also gets excited by the idea of others seeing him being loved so much by his partner, which is where his exhibitionist kink comes in. He’s the one who is special to his sunshine, not anyone else. They can only watch with envious eyes while he shows them exactly what they’re missing out on. It’s quite a turn on to show the world just how much he’s loved, that he’s the only one special enough to be loved by his sunshine like this. Only he deserves his partner’s love, and only he can make his sunshine feel this good and loved. He would have sex in public before an audience with his sunshine if his partner consented to it, provided that it’s made clear to everyone involved that he’s the only one his partner truly loves and needs more than anyone else.
Another factor that plays into his exhibitionism is his desire not to be forgotten. His past as Joseph is full of moments where that left him feeling discarded and unlovable. The more people who focus on him, the less likely he is to be forgotten.
Cuckolding is definitely something Jack hates, at least if he’s the one being forced to watch his partner have sex with someone else. Even if other people are involved during sex, he needs to be his partner’s primary focus. If he’s the most important person to his partner, then he can at least tolerate others’ involvement. He doesn’t want to have sex with someone that he’s not in love with (or at least not strongly emotionally connected to romantically), but if it made his partner happy, he would do it for their sake… though he would need them to shower him with love and encouragement the entire time.
However, if Jack is the one cuckolding someone else, like, say, Ian… now that’s a different story. Tied to the degrader kink, Jack wants to show that he’s more worthy than others of his sunshine’s love. If his rivals are writhing in envy and can see they don’t deserve Alice like he does, well that’s pretty darn exciting. It’s why he’ll be a poor winner and make sure that all his rivals are very much aware who Alice chose instead of them.
Yes, this means that, just like Jack is going to make sure that Shaun overhears him making love to Alice (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts), he’s going to make sure Ian knows that her pretty moans are only for Jack, now and forever. While the incident with Shaun is Jack marking his territory to prevent a possible rival from getting any ideas, with Ian it’s far more personal. Jack wants to make sure Ian feels worthless and inferior to him in every way. I haven’t decided exactly how he’ll go about this, but hopefully he won’t take it too far, hahaha.
Anyway, ultimately, when it comes to involving other people besides his partner, Jack would rather have an audience rather than additional participants: they can look, listen, and envy, but they can’t touch.
At the end of the day though, his partner has a lot of sway in this matter if others are involved in their sex life… for better or for worse.
While love and sex are closely tied in Jack’s mind, he can still perform sexually without romantic attachment, though he would prefer not to. Back before he was an actor, when he was homeless after running away from home, he had to do things that he wasn’t proud of just to survive, which included performing sex acts on a transactional basis. He was used, and he knew full well that he was being used, but he did what he could to survive life on the streets.
This is part of why Jack prefers to be the one dominating. He wants control over his sexuality in a way that he couldn’t have when sex work sometimes was the only thing that kept him from starving to death. Sex workers don’t tend to be treated well by their clients, especially if they’re a homeless drifter without any support network.
Jack did attempt to find love in the past, but oftentimes he was just exploited for his body, which led to toxic relationships similar to the Tragedy of [Redacted] theory in one of my first headcanon posts. His desperate desire to be loved was unfortunately taken advantage of, which led to unpleasant experiences. Sometimes he fell for someone’s charms and actually believed that they actually cared for him, only for that person to just want a quick fuck and not a real relationship, which stomped all over his heart and made him wonder what more he could have done to “deserve” to be loved…
Once Jack became an actor, he went from being ignored to getting too much attention… and all of it shallow, just focused on his body and fame. The interview with Dan was a sore spot for him because he was used in many ways, by people who only saw him as a sex object to use then discard and not as a human who desperately wished to be loved.
This is why Jack’s feelings for Alice are so strong. Due to their connection, he can literally feel that she cares about him in a way that he never could with anyone else. With how much he’s always craved such a connection with someone, their bond has given him reassurance that he never got to experience while alive. He can feel when he pleases her and when he makes her flustered. He can tell when she’s upset and has an easier time spotting when he’s making a mistake with her. There’s security in knowing her feelings for him, and that those feelings are sincere.
The connection also allows Jack to feel what Alice is experiencing physically to some extent, which includes sexual pleasure. For a service top like him who gets off on his partner’s pleasure, it’s addicting to be able to literally feel the pleasure that he’s giving her. He knows when he’s doing well, and he can learn quickly how best to pleasure her. He wants more and more of all of these wonderful feelings this connection with Alice gives to him, so he’ll do whatever it takes to please her so that he can feel more of her love.
While Jack has a huge exhibitionist kink, and the idea of an audience watching him make love to Alice excites him, at the same time he wants to lock her up away from the rest of the world so that they can’t take her away from him. He needs her. He loves her. His very existence depends on her. What she gives him is far too precious to risk losing for any brief moment of pleasure.
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As we’ve seen in this development art… Jack would prefer it if it was just him and his sunshine… forever. Between his past and being trapped in the tape, there’s a desperation to him now to not lose Alice and everything she’s given him… and woe be it to anyone who tries to take his sunshine away.
After being trapped in the tape and suffering a hellish fate for 40 years without rest, Jack has become touch starved and clingy. He was love/touch starved even before his death, but the tape made it so much worse. He would be very happy if Alice wanted to hold onto him 24/7. He views having a piece of his soul inside of Alice as similar to getting a hug from her all the time, and vice-versa with the piece of her that she gave to him. Although that piece of her soul is the most precious thing he possesses, he can’t help but be greedy and want more and more of her. He’ll take as much as she’ll give him.
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As one might expect, Jack isn’t keen on being separated from Alice for too long. In the past, he could handle giving his partner space for several days if they needed it, but going a full day without his sunshine is unbearable in the present. It was especially rough in the beginning when their relationship was still new, and their connection was fragile.
It just gets so cold without his sunshine…
The sensory deprivation Jack experienced in the tape affects him as well. He’s more sensitive to stimuli than he was before. This makes him so much more aware of the world, especially what he can and can’t interact with. This is especially the case when it comes to his sunshine.
Really, a sunshine that keeps Jack at a distance would just make his neediness worse, as he literally can’t interact with anything else. Sure he can see his surroundings and respond to them, but he needs to be closer to his sunshine to interact with them, including his sunshine. If all he can touch is his sunshine for a long time, it just makes his neediness to be close to them all the worse.
Fortunately, Alice pretty much accepted Jack of being capable of touching and interacting with things right away, so it’s not as bad for him as it could have been... but let’s face it, Jack’s need for sensory stimulation is going to be pretty bad regardless.
Jack is hyper aware of everything about his sunshine - the feeling of her skin, how warm each part of her body is, how soft... All the little folds and curves. He memorizes the sensation of her fingers wrapped around his and just how small she is when he holds her in his arms, completely surrounding her.
Jack is so aware of her scent too, so very, very aware. Most of the time Alice smells of vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies due to her shampoo and deodorant, but sometimes she puts on perfume or switches things up. He notices it right away when it changes, but most of all he notices how her distinct scent without any perfumes affects it. He’s smelled her products directly - out of curiosity he swears - but it’s not the same. It’s nice... but it’s not her.
Smelling Alice’s pillows and clothes... now there’s where he gets his hit when he can’t be close enough to breathe her in. At the start, she gave him one of her pillows that smelled just like her. She never really gets it back, and when Jack gets sneakier with slipping away to take care of himself, he brings the pillow with him. He buries his face in it as he jerks himself off to thoughts of her, imagining that he’s buried his face in her chest or between her thighs.
When Jack discovers that Alice has a pillow that she props between her legs to sleep more comfortably, he can’t help but imagine her humping that pillow imagining it’s him. She doesn’t, of course, but the fantasy gets to him, and he can’t help but be the one to enact it, imagining that he’s thrusting into where this lucky pillow usually rests. He made sure to clean it up thoroughly afterwards so she doesn’t notice, but seeing her sleep with it after that drives him crazy.
Jack knows using her pillows and clothes like that is wrong, but it’s fine, right? He’s being patient, waiting for the day that Alice is ready to do these things with him. He knows it’ll happen. He can feel how much she cares about him. With every day they get closer... and she’s slowly starting to see just how perfect they are for each other too. One day, he won’t need to settle for a pillow. One day, he’ll be thrusting his cock into all of her holes, listening to her pretty moans that are only for him.
And, well, he’s right, basically. Jack is a very, very happy man when that happens, and he makes sure Alice doesn’t regret choosing him. He’s going to make sure that she enjoys every second of their lovemaking.
Until then, Jack has his fantasies of what it’ll be like. He fantasizes about Alice on a daily basis, often lewd fantasies but sometimes wholesome and sweet like imagining them getting married. He’ll try his best to only imagine what he’s seen of of her so far without assuming what he’ll find underneath her clothes. It doesn’t matter what equipment she has after all, she’s beautiful and perfect to him just as she is. He laser focuses on every new inch of skin he sees, searing it into his mind forever and adding it to his fantasies.
Sometimes it feels to Jack as if Alice is teasing him as well. He would be convinced that she is if he couldn’t pick up on her thoughts. She’s genuinely oblivious how sexy she looks wearing only a too thin t-shirt with no bra, especially when she stretches. She doesn’t notice how her clothes ride up when she stretches or how he drinks her in when she does. He can’t help but notice just how flexible she is and imagine how he might be able to make her body bend around his in various delicious angles. Until that day though, he won’t let anything slip by his notice.
This leads into Jack’s voyeurism kink. This is pretty closely tied to the exhibitionist kink. He loves to show off his sexy body and see the desire in his partner’s eyes. He wants them to know what he has to offer, how good he can make his partner feel, and how good they make him feel. He also enjoys seeing his partner show off their body to him and watching them get off… provided that it’s not with someone else. Watching someone else make his partner moan isn’t his idea of a fun time. Sure his partner is sexy, but… it leaves him feeling insecure. What if they like the other person better? He can’t risk it. They should only be moaning because of him.
So when it comes to voyeurism, Jack would rather watch his partner get themselves off for his pleasure, preferably moaning his name or even begging him to take them. He would even enjoy watching his partner play with themselves in a deliberate effort to tease and entice him. Brat taming is something he enjoys, and making sure his partner knows who’s really in control of their pleasure as he teases them even more than they teased him is quite enticing to him.
Teasing is something that’s all in good fun, as far as Jack is concerned… as long as it remains playful of course. The degrader kink in his case isn’t done with insults like calling his partner a slut or other such degrading insults, unless they explicitly wanted him to do that of course. Rather, it’s the excitement of making his partner feel flustered and overwhelmed, even embarrassed, that’s turning him on. He knows what they’re weak against and uses it against them to leave them a blushing mess, overwhelmed by how he knows them inside and out. No one else could ever be as close to them or know them as well as he can.
An example would be Jack praising Alice for being so wet when he fingers her while she’s standing in the camera’s blind spot at Popov’s, even though she’s worried about being caught doing something so lewd at work. With how flustered she gets in general, and especially when risking getting caught by others, it can be counted as degrading to be praised for doing such a lewd act in a semi-public place. However, he is not making her feel like she’s wrong for being aroused by something she finds embarrassing.
Jack never intends to make his partner feel bad in any way. He only wants to make them feel good. Coaxing them into doing things that get them aroused and overwhelmed in a good way is exciting for him. That’s why he’s also a big fan of overstimulation and orgasm denial. He loves making his partner orgasm repeatedly and watching them come undone. If he can leave his partner a babbling mess, begging him for more or that it’s too much, while clearly enjoying every second of what he’s doing to them, he feels so needed and wanted.
Being teased can be fun as well, though Jack prefers to be teased playfully by a partner who acts a bit bratty, pushing him to work for the prize of satisfying them both. His partner proposing a challenge for him to overcome is thrilling when he can shatter their expectations and leave them totally at his mercy.
Another way Jack enjoys being teased by his partner is if they try to “escape” him, acting as prey to allow him to indulge in his predator kink and chase them down. The idea of hunting his partner, searching for them wherever they run or hide, snatching them up, and getting a good taste of his prey as his prize is delightful. Adding in a bit of bondage as well by tying up his cute little prey adds an extra thrill. Then he can tease them with praise, touch, and affection until he tames them, leaving them begging him for more.
Sure, Jack technically has a cheat mode when it comes to finding Alice due to their connection, since he can sense her wherever she is through it, but that doesn’t mean hide and seek can’t still be fun. He can just pretend that he can’t sense where she’s hiding, really heightening up the tension as he pretends to overlook her hiding spot, coming so close, putting her on edge of being found, only to pass her by. It would be a game in and of itself to tease her with the threat of almost catching her until finally he’s ready to pounce and claim his cute little prey.
Jack isn’t exactly opposed to reversing the game, with him acting as the prey, but he would quickly turn it back around on his partner. With how little control he had in his life while alive, a part of him rebels against being controlled by anyone… though his sunshine is a bit of a unique case.
Alice didn’t have to save him from hell. That was her choice. Jack might have been willing to give her anything if she saved him, but she didn’t actually want anything from him except to save him. It’s for that reason that he’ll do anything for her. He might not want to give up control, but if it was for her sake, he would let her take total control of him as long as she loves him, needs him, and never forgets him.
Really, Jack would find it cute to imagine Alice trying to hunt him down or act dominant with him in the bedroom, especially since he knows that he would soon turn the tables on her and turn her into his adorable prey. It would be more like brat taming for him in that case, teasing and tempting her until she was too flustered to continue trying to keep control, submitting to him and his love~
However, Jack only enjoys predplay if it remains play. It stops being fun if his partner is genuinely scared or in distress from the behavior. It’s the same with any kink really. A good dominant pays attention to the submissive’s comfort and needs, and he’ll be sure to satisfy all of his sunshine’s needs.
Although Jack has been shown in the test to prefer being a sadist, he’s not actually a fan of making his partner feel pain. Back when he was still alive, he could be more comfortable with various forms of mild sadism, such as spanking or hair pulling, but in the present, the idea of hurting his sunshine even in such minor ways is unthinkable. He would only be able to handle dealing out pain to his sunshine if that’s what they sincerely found pleasurable, since he would want to fulfill their needs. Of course, he would be checking in on how they’re doing a bit excessively to make sure that he never gets too tough.
Rather, the form of sadism that Jack enjoys is leaving marks on his partner’s body, particularly kiss and bite marks. It’s physical proof of his love on their skin that shows the world just how much he loves them. It’s not to the point of spilling blood or leaving a permanent scar, just leaving behind evidence of their lovemaking. It’s proof that they’re his. He’s the one who made those marks, and anyone who sees them will know his partner chose him and not them. He won’t bite unless his partner enjoys it of course. If they do, he’s going to get a taste of them and make sure it leaves a mark behind.
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I mean look at this screencap. Jack really wants to be nibbling on his sunshine instead of his lip.
This is especially true in the present. Although Jack can’t stand the idea of hurting his sunshine, seeing Alice covered in hickies and bite marks makes him feel more real. He’s left irrefutable evidence of his existence on her skin, and he makes sure to adorn her in as many as she’ll allow, especially in places that she can’t easily cover up. It gives him a thrill to think that anyone who sees her would see those marks and realize that she doesn’t need them. She chose him. She’s his just as much as he’s hers. The world might not be able to see him (yet), but he’s proving that he’s real by showing the world that he’s claimed his sunshine.
Another way that Jack wants to mark his claim on his sunshine is with his cum love. Seeing his partner as a sweaty, overstimulated mess, adorned in a pearl necklace he made for them with a dripping cream pie between their legs just does it for him. He would love to make a mess of his sunshine and admire his handiwork afterwards.
This leads to Jack having a breeding kink. When he was alive, it was more mild than it is in the present. Although being a parent was a bit intimidating for him back then due to his toxic upbringing, he always hoped that he would find a loving partner and be a father someday. Granted, a breeding kink doesn’t necessarily have to lead to procreation, but simply the act of seeding his partner can be just as fun~
With the world being unable to see/hear/touch him, Jack feels more of an urge to leave his mark. Since Alice is the only one that he can interact with, that makes him want to leave his mark on her body in any way that she’ll allow. Getting her pregnant is the ultimate proof that he’s real, and even before she is ready to have kids with him, he’s fantasized about it countless times. In the past, he was thinking of siring or adopting one kid, maybe two, but in the present he wants more kids than that - as many as his sunshine will agree to. The thought of her pregnant, watching her tummy grow larger with his child drives him crazy in the best ways.
Jack is open to experimentation and trying new things, particularly at the request of his partner. He’ll do his best to accommodate his partner’s needs, whatever they might be, even if they’re not to his tastes… provided it doesn’t put them or their relationship at risk. More extreme kinks… he’ll be willing to give them a shot, but if they’re too dangerous or damaging, he’ll try to pump the brakes or at least talk about why his partner is interested in it so that they can reach a compromise that’s healthier for both of them.
As shown in the demo, Jack is very vocal in bed. He showers his partner with praise. He can talk dirty as well, though he could only swear while he was still alive. In the present, his dirty talk is mostly innuendo, as he can’t bring himself to swear anymore. Sunny Day Jack would never swear after all, it would be utterly unthinkable for a kids TV show character. If his partner wants him to degrade them by using specific insults and terms, he’ll indulge them as best as he’s able, but he’ll make sure to dish out extra praise and affection during aftercare so that he can remind them just how much they mean to him. He thinks the world of his sunshine, and he wouldn’t want to risk them actually believing that he really does think such horrible things about them.
Jack is the king of aftercare. If his partner needs anything, he’ll get it even if he’s tired. Need water or a snack? He’s on it. Need cuddles? Oh you bet he’s all over that. Need help getting cleaned up? Don’t worry, he’ll carry his partner to the bath and change the messy bedding for them. Sore? He’ll be sure to gently massage those tense muscles into submission.
Jack’s mouth isn’t just good with words. He has quite the talent for oral play. He loves using his mouth all over his partner’s body, particularly where they’re most sensitive, or where they need extra love. His favorite place to kiss, besides their lips, is their throat, as he can feel his partner’s moans vibrate against his lips, giving him that little bit of extra feedback that he’s doing a good job.
However, the sexiest part of the body for Jack is his partner’s stomach, though he loves every inch of his sunshine. A soft round tummy just does it for the guy, though all stomach shapes are lovely. He just loves having a partner who is soft and perfect for cuddling. He enjoys having a softer partner who he can protect, especially if they’re smaller than him. Caging his soft partner underneath him makes him feel secure, and he’ll keep them trapped in his arms all night long if they let him.
Jack’s favorite positions are ones where he’s facing his partner. He wants to see the expressions they make and kiss them as they make love. He favors the mating press in particular, as it allows him to penetrate his partner as deeply as possible and hit just the right spots to make them scream his name and see stars. He wants to be totally surrounded by his sunshine’s warmth and feel their love all around him.
Jack has a very high libido, so he wants to have sex as often as possible. He would want to do it every day, even multiple times a day if possible, masturbating and fantasizing about his sunshine if not. His stamina was just a bit higher than average when he was alive, but now that he’s a supernatural entity with powers, he can keep going with a very short refractory period. If his sunshine lets him, he could make love to them for hours. Of course, he’ll be considerate about the difference in their sex drives and energy levels.
Being an actor, Jack is excellent at roleplay. In fact, he might be able to get into the part too well at times. In the past, it was easier for him to get carried away with a role (which plays a part in why he’s Jack now instead of Joseph), but in the present, if he goes too far with it, that could lead to him mentally crashing back down when he realizes that he’s acting out of character for Sunny Day Jack. If he can justify Sunny Day Jack playing such a role, he doesn’t have to suffer such dissonance, so any roleplay in the present will have a bit of a primary colored tint to it.
Of course, the more relaxed Jack gets in his relationship with his sunshine, the easier it’ll be for him to slip out of character and be more himself. If these “out of character” moments never result in anything bad and his sunshine enjoys who he is when he’s at his most open and vulnerable… then maybe he’ll be able to be more comfortable acting more like himself instead of the character he wishes he was…
This is the goal for Sunshine in Hell. Although Jack is going to try his best to stay in character as Sunny Day Jack at the start, as he spends time with Alice and the two of them grow closer, he’s able to make himself more vulnerable to her, less guarded. He’s able to experiment more, indulge in the desires he has that Sunny Day Jack would never even think about. Eventually, he’ll be able to be someone who isn’t the character that he portrays, but someone comfortable in his own skin, with someone who loves him as the flawed man that he is and not as the perfect idol that he wishes he was.
I think we’ll wrap things up for Jack on that heartwarming note… especially since his entry has ballooned into 12 14 pages at this point, hahaha. I might have more thoughts in the future, but let’s show the other characters some love too, shall we?
Speaking of love, let’s talk about Jack’s sunshine, specifically my version of the MC for this erotic yandere romance game.
Alice
As I’ve mentioned before in other headcanon rambles, Alice is on the aro/ace spectrum. While she does experience horny thoughts/urges, she doesn’t actually desire someone romantically or sexually unless she’s known them for a while and has developed a bond with them. She can objectively see that someone is attractive and admire them, even feel flustered by the attention that they give to her, but these are platonic feelings. It’s only after she’s been friends with someone and opens up to them that she might develop romantic feelings for them. Even then that’s not always a guarantee. Sexual attraction then follows only after she’s made a deep romantic connection with that person, and only with that person. This would make her orientation demi-romantic, demi-sexual.
Because it takes such deep trust and closeness for Alice to fall in love with someone, when she falls in love, she falls hard… for better and for worse.
Alice is strictly monogamous. She can’t bear the idea of sharing her partner with another person, and she’ll do all she can to serve their needs to the best of her ability. She’s also fairly clingy with her partner, as her love language is primarily physical touch. She loves holding onto her partner as much as possible, playing with their hands or hair, caressing their face, nuzzling into their touch, and in general just cuddling up to them as much as they’ll allow. She can also get silly with her affection, licking or nibbling on her partner playfully if they allow her, and writing words or symbols on their skin with her finger.
Of course, Alice is careful to be gentle when nipping her partner since she has slightly larger fangs than the average person. If she bit down hard, she could draw blood with those fangs… if her partner is into that and convinces her that they really want her to do some damage of course.
Alice is only comfortable with physical touch with someone if she trusts them and has a positive connection with them. If she doesn’t have some level of trust, being touched puts her on edge, even if it’s something as casual as a pat on the back.
The part of her partner’s body that Alice finds most attractive is their chest. Big, small, flat, soft… they’re all beautiful, and she loves to bury her face into her partner’s chest and listen to their heartbeat as often as she can, feeling them breathe as she holds them close. She also enjoys hands, snuggling into them, touching them, lacing their fingers together. It makes her feel so wanted to feel her partner’s hands reaching out to hold her.
Although Alice tends to favor being more submissive in the bedroom, she’s a service bottom, wanting to make sure her partner feels good. She’s not content to be a pillow princess, just lying there and letting things happen to her. She wants to do whatever she can to make her partner feel satisfied and happy… even if that means doing things that she isn’t exactly comfortable with.
Alice struggles to reject anything that her partner suggests, even if it makes her uncomfortable. She wants so badly to be a good partner who is worthy of the person she loves, since she has self-confidence issues. A lifetime of fat shaming from many sources, including society at large, has made her hate how her body looks, and she feels ugly. This is something she struggles with and though she has been called beautiful, she can’t bring herself to really believe it when the majority of people have called her ugly. It didn’t help that she was treated as a weirdo by her peers and isolated or ignored. This has led to Alice feeling a need to “make up” for how “unattractive” she is with acts of service for her partner in the bedroom.
This has led to unfortunate incidents in her sex life. Alice pushed herself to have sex before she was ready, with a partner who didn’t know what he was doing. It was clumsy, even painful, and though she tried not to think about it, she was reminded of the SA she experienced as a teenager. This was not anyone’s fault, but ignoring the warning signs of a trauma trigger can be pretty devastating.
Needless to say, Alice and Ian’s first time was… rough, and full of apologies from both of them, along with a lot of guilt. I touched on how difficult their sex life was in previous posts before, such as this one. Sadly, their sex life played a part in why their relationship turned sour.
Sex with Ian was mostly Alice servicing him with handjobs and blowjobs, with penetrative sex coming infrequently. Unfortunately, Alice didn’t really enjoy the penetrative sex, as Ian tended to go too rough with her, and they both had the misconception that pain was always involved at the start of penetration for the person being penetrated (if not for the whole experience.) Sadly, by this point in their relationship, Alice was having a hard time voicing any complaints that might make Ian feel bad or like he was wrong in some way. She mistakenly believed that she was the problem for not really enjoying or getting off on the experience. After all, there was pleasure along with the pain, and penetrative sex was what all sex led up to, right? Was it even sex without it?
Penetrative sex is so glorified in media, that Alice believes sex is incomplete without it, as if she’s denying that full connection of love with her partner if she doesn’t do it. It might be painful, but she wants that deep connection with the person she loves. Plus, Ian would always be so eager and excited for it. She found him just so cute, and it made her feel good that he desired her so much that he couldn’t hold back. It might have been painful, but it was worth it to be the only person in the world who could drive him so crazy with desire. It was so nice of him to think of her when he wanted to try out a new technique that he was sure would make her feel good, since, ho boy, did the lady in the porn ecchi enjoy it!
Unfortunately, Alice learned over time being with Ian that getting sex techniques from porn really isn’t a good point of reference. That’s why she eventually started reading articles giving advice on sex-friendly websites to get a better sense about real sex, rather than the fictionalized version depicted in porn.
But, hey, at least Ian was happy. Alice took joy in his happiness and satisfaction, and enjoyed the cuddling they did in the afterglow the most. Cuddling, kisses, listening to his satisfied sighs, and hearing how much he loved her were what she enjoyed the most about their lovemaking.
Of course, Alice found that same satisfaction with just cuddling and a nice make out session without sex involved.
Sadly, like a lot of people with little experience, Alice is under the mistaken assumption that penetration hurts at first, but soon goes away. This is an exceedingly common trope in hentai/ecchi where the bottom, regardless of gender, always feels pain at the start of being penetrated but then pleasure makes the pain disappear at some point. It’s treated as expected in this form of media, something unavoidable that must be tolerated for the sake of enjoying sex. Heck, for some people, pain during penetration is a feature of sex, not a bug.
This is why when Alice and Jack eventually have penetrative sex, the fact that it doesn’t hurt even a little bit catches her off-guard. Not that she’ll complain, obviously. This results in making her more enthusiastic about that form of sex than she ever thought that she could be.
Alice does not enjoy pain, at all. It’s not sexy to her to be spanked, choked, insulted, or to be otherwise made uncomfortable and used. She’ll try out something that she might dislike for the sake of her partner’s kinks, and she’ll tolerate things that are painful if her partner feels good, but that doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily get much enjoyment out of the experience.
Inflicting pain or insults on her partner is something that Alice doesn’t care for either. She’s too empathetic, and the idea of doing harm to her partner, whether verbal or physical, even if they take pleasure in it, makes her feel exceedingly anxious. She prefers being gentle, sweet-talking her partner and cuddling with them.
The most Alice would want to do is playful teasing and leaving kiss marks along with gentle love bites. She could be convinced to bite harder, scratch, or spank if her partner was really into that, but she’s far too much of a marshmallow to handle any sort of hard sadism or masochism. Soft, cuddly, vanilla lovemaking full of sweet words and praise is what makes her feel happiest.
Praise is Alice’s biggest weakness. Whether it’s platonic, romantic, or sexual, she gets easily overwhelmed when she’s praised. She loves it, but struggles to accept it due to her low self-esteem. It makes her happy to know she’s doing a good job, and it encourages her to do more when it comes to pleasuring her partner.
Getting positive attention, compliments, gifts, and in general being treated special is something Alice struggles with, even with her partner. It takes her a while to really believe it. Ian actually did a world of good for her self-confidence… before he completely destroyed it when he cheated on her, making it worse than it ever was. Jack has his work cut out for him.
Alice masturbates often, but as a stress relief more than anything else. It’s less about being horny or desiring someone else and more about self-care. An orgasm can be very relaxing after a stressful day. She bought toys to help her do this more efficiently, only rarely taking time out to enjoy masturbation as anything more than a quick stress release. Of course, she finds it more fun to play with toys when she’s sharing them with her partner.
After making the connection to Jack, Alice finds her libido increasing because she is picking up on his horny feelings. It leads to many confusing moments where she wonders why she’s feeling horny out of nowhere far more often than she normally did before, and she does make the connection between those feelings and Jack… but attributes it to him just being that attractive in every sense of the word, which only further confuses her feelings towards him in the beginning.
Once Alice and Jack start having sex, her libido increases substantially due to this connection and how much she enjoys the experience. He’s so attentive to her needs and is so eager to praise her when he pleases her or she pleases him that it’s hard not to get addicted to their lovemaking sessions. While she and Ian would have sex once or twice a week on average, usually to satisfy his desires and not hers, she winds up enthusiastically wanting to have sex with Jack almost daily once they finally reach that point in their relationship.
Being restrained is a complicated kink for Alice. She’s never considered herself one for bondage, and, if anything, she doesn’t think that she’ll like it. Her SA trauma has to do with being restrained against her will, so if she feels trapped during sex, it can cause her to panic. Ian has accidentally triggered this trauma in the past.
Being held down or confined by her partner isn’t so much the issue in and of itself. Alice enjoys the security of being completely engulfed in her partner’s arms, safe and secure. There are times when she would seek it out, loving the feeling of her partner lying on top of her like a weighted blanket. It’s when they won’t let her go even when she indicates she wants them to that the discomfort immediately sets in. Although she tries to power through the feeling and remind herself that she trusts her partner and that they won’t hurt her like the people who committed SA against her, and they care about her… trauma is not always that easy to reason through.
This can be a bit of an issue when you have a partner who has a tendency to lose control of his urges and refuses to let you go or come up for air until he’s satisfied.
Needless to say, this led to moments full of guilt and apologies from both sides between Ian and Alice. This, as you might expect, was one of the big contributors to why they didn’t have sex all that often.
Restraining her partner… now that’s something Alice would be surprised to find that she enjoys. Having her partner tied up and helpless as she lovingly pays attention to their body, maybe even blindfolded so they don’t know where she’s going to touch or kiss next would be exciting.
I think I just had an idea for another short fic to write sometime. Better make a note of this for later.
Ahem, moving on… Alice isn’t one for exhibitionism. She’s a very private person overall, and with her self-esteem issues, she would rather have anything more physical than a kiss or hug be kept private. She doesn’t want to have to think or worry about other people when intimate with her partner, preferring to just focus on her beloved and the intimate moment that they’re sharing. Since she can only get sexual with someone she trusts deeply, she doesn’t want to involve other people, even as an audience.
Sadly, Jack isn’t going to be able to indulge in his exhibitionism kink to the fullest with Alice because of this. Though having sex in risky places where they could get caught is a fair compromise that she winds up enjoying way more than she ever thought she would. She wouldn’t enjoy getting caught though, and it would take a lot of coaxing to get her to try again if that happened, but fortunately Jack is a very sneaky ghost(?) who knows a few tricks to make sure that no one will interrupt when he’s showing love to his sunshine.
Alice’s favorite position is missionary. She loves being held by her partner and looking into their eyes, seeing the love they have for her and how good they’re feeling. She loves the feeling of their body on top of hers like a warm weighted blanket. She loves watching them bite their lip and strain themselves to hold on, or roll their eyes up towards the ceiling from pleasure. Watching her partner’s face and knowing that she’s the one making them feel good makes her feel good in turn. She loves it when they look at her with love and desire, like she’s the only person in the world they could ever feel this way towards.
Face to face positions in general are the ones Alice prefers, though she gets anxious about any position that puts her on top. She’s chubby, and she worries about her weight being too much for her partner. For example, if they tell her to sit on their face and that they want to be crushed by her thighs, she’ll be very skeptical that it’ll end well. It’s something that would take a lot of gentle coaxing to get her to try it, and reassurance that they enjoyed doing it afterwards.
Although Alice’s worries limits her in the amount of positions she’s interested in trying, she’s actually capable of doing a lot of them. Despite being chubby, she’s very flexible, able to do vertical splits and put her ankle around her head, to name a few. This makes yoga the ideal way for her to keep in shape. She isn’t confident enough to work out at a gym, but she doesn’t mind stretching with friends or a partner. She takes pride in her flexibility and her excellent sense of balance, not yet thinking about how this ability could be used to great effect in the bedroom.
Needless to say, those attracted to Alice can be treated to quite a show when watching her do yoga. Jack especially is eager to encourage her to exercise often and is only too happy to help her get into the harder poses. He looks up just how to do them so he knows where he can put his hands just right to help her. Before they’re lovers, it’s always so tempting for him to just “slip” and touch her someplace a bit naughtier... but he respects her consent and boundaries. He won’t touch her someplace unless she wants him to, no matter how badly he wants to put his hands and mouth on every inch of her body.
Naturally, once they become lovers, yoga sessions get a bit spicy. Alice has to wonder if Jack is really eager for her to work out to help her stay fit or if he just wants to experiment with positions. Still, it’s a very pleasurable incentive that encourages her to work out more often. It also encourages her to intentionally tease him with her stretches once she grows more confident in their physical intimacy, going into a playful back and forth that she knows is going to end up with him eventually snapping from the tension, stripping of her workout clothes and taking her against the yoga mat.
Teasing her partner and encouraging them to lose control is something Alice can appreciate. It was a bit risky when it came to Ian since when he lost control it could be painful or even suffocating, so she always had to be cautious about how far to push and be prepared for fallout. With Jack though, he’s always so mindful of her comfort no matter how wild she drives him. That allows her to just cut loose and tease him to her heart’s content, knowing that he’ll never hurt her and it’s only going to feel good.
Driving her lover into losing control over their desire makes Alice feel sexy, beautiful. She wants the person she loves and desires to need her so badly that they can’t think of anyone else. She wants to be irreplaceable. She thought that she found that with Ian, so it was worth the pain, but his cheating proved that she was mistaken. Fortunately, Jack will be all too happy to make sure she knows how special she is and how there’s no one else in the world he could ever want, need, or love more than her.
In general, Alice is very vanilla when it comes to her kinks. She favors the emotional connection between her and her partner, the love and trust they share. That’s why she can only have sex with someone if she feels like she can fully trust that person. After Ian cheated, she couldn’t have sex with him again even when he wanted it, which strained their attempts to repair their relationship and helped her realize that things had gotten too toxic between them to try and go back to the way they were.
Overall, Alice is a very uncertain lover when it comes to her own pleasure or anything that might bring discomfort to her partner. She has an easier time focusing on their pleasure and getting enjoyment out of making them feel good. It’s easy for her to forget about herself in favor of her partner’s pleasure even if she’s uncomfortable, which is why she responds better to a partner who makes sure to stay mindful of her needs during the activities rather than get distracted by their own pleasure.
Speaking of a partner who gets carried away by his own pleasure…
Ian
Ian is someone who was very sheltered by his very strict religious upbringing. In his house, sexual desires were seen as shameful. Even masturbating was treated as a sin. Though he tried not to give in to his urges, he succumbed to his desires more often than not, and it made him feel weird. He loved the pleasure he felt from masturbating and the relief it gave him, but he “knew” that he was being “sinful” by doing so, which would leave him filled with shame and guilt afterwards. This would lead to a lot of repression when it comes to his sexuality. It didn’t help that his peers treated him like a weirdo and made fun of his looks/behavior/tastes, isolating him further.
Because of his upbringing, Ian always had a clear picture of what he was supposed to do to have a successful future. He needed to find one person, get married, have kids, and have a lucrative career. His mother pushed him towards a straight relationship in particular - at least when she wasn’t crushing his spirit that finding a partner was impossible for him at all - but he couldn’t help but find guys and non-binary people attractive as well. He has a lot of crushes, both fictional and not, and he has a secret stash of various media full of many waifus, husbandos, and spousus.
Alice was one such person that Ian crushed on, but with her it was far more serious than anyone else. His feelings for his first and only childhood friend were deeper than surface level. They knew each other better than anyone. She was always there for him, supporting him, and making him feel like he wasn’t such a weirdo after all. Her being a girl had nothing to do with how hard he fell for her, though it did make him feel a little less anxious about his mom finding out about their relationship than he would have if his partner wasn’t a girl.
Ian is someone in heavy denial about his desires due to his upbringing. It’s “sinful” to lust after other people, particularly outside of a straight context according to his mother and the scriptures. It’s “sinful” to have lustful thoughts outside of marriage. Heck, even in the confines of marriage, sex is meant only for the sake of procreation. It made him feel weird about desiring people, so he convinced himself that he simply… didn’t. He went into deep denial, telling himself that people were weird, and since he didn’t know them these feelings weren’t something to think about at all. It was easier that way.
Ian knew Alice though, so she became the exception to this taboo he had been taught all his life when she became his partner. For him, it was okay to lust after his partner… at least as much as it could be with anyone. Though his mother insisted lust, even towards his partner, was only selfishly satisfying his manhood in a sinful way, society often said otherwise. Media and their peers made it seem so normal to have sexual urges and want to explore them. Even Alice insisted his feelings were normal and nothing to be ashamed about. He learned more and more about what was normal once he was out from under his mother’s influence and interacted with other people.
While Ian did learn to accept and even embrace the fact that he’s pansexual/panromantic, it’s not so easy to shake the shame related to his sexuality or sex in general thanks to his mother’s toxic influence.
At his house with his mother, even the internet was restricted. Ian didn’t get access to porn until he moved out to college, and even then, that made him feel awkward. He didn’t know how to handle these weird feelings towards strangers, since he was taught that they were sinful and risked damning him to hell. Lusting after fictional characters seemed okay though. That was just a fantasy, playing pretend. Even his mother had romance books that got pretty smutty, though she wailed into him the one time she caught him going through her stash.
This was what led to Ian having a lot of fictional crushes, anime figures, and, of course, ecchi. While the local library didn’t have straight up porn or hentai, it did have more risque manga stories in the form of ecchi, which is why he insists so hard that it’s not porn. The library would never have anything like porn, so it’s not sinful! This means it’s okay that he has a collection of it. He’s not a sinful pervert!
Ecchi has a tendency to really push the boundaries of what can be constituted as porn though, and Ian absorbed all of the sex in those pages like a sponge. The people in the book always looked to be having fun. Sex was something wild and passionate. The people lost control of their desires and enjoyed themselves in a way that he was always denied. Sex was this all-encompassing force of nature in so many stories, not just in ecchi. He was fascinated by it even as he was afraid of those feelings.
Because of this repression, Ian saw himself in these characters who lost themselves in moments of passion as they claimed their lover. This raw animalistic lust was exciting and really resonated with him. Once he started pleasuring himself and forgot about the guilt of his desires, he would lose control in a similar way. He would keep going until he was satisfied, completely losing himself in the experience… only to be hit with guilt once he came down from the high.
With Alice, Ian had an outlet for his sexual desires. She helped him see that these desires weren’t sinful, and she was eager to help him feel good. She made him feel wanted, beautiful, and sexy. With her help, like many things in his life, he gained more confidence in his sexual urges. He explored his sexuality more, both in fiction and with her, though he was far more hesitant and awkward with the latter.
What didn’t help was the mistakes Ian would make… but, in a way, he was used to making mistakes. He was always making mistakes, always blamed by his mother for just about every reason under the sun even if he didn’t actually do anything. All perceived problems were his fault and so he must apologize. Constantly.
Alice supported Ian when he felt sinful, filthy, and sad. She forgave him for his mistakes and even told him he didn’t have to apologize so much. She loved him and he loved her in return for how strong and supportive she was to him.
Ian would try to make amends for his mistakes with apologies, cuddling, and especially with gifts. His primary love language is gift giving, and thanks to the trust fund his absent dad left him, he could give gifts to those he cared about often. He gives friends and especially his partner presents. He even gives his mother presents to let her know that he still loves her despite everything and that he just wants them to actually have a good relationship… however futile that gesture might be.
Although Ian struggles to be vocal about what he wants when it comes to sex and romance, he can be pretty romantic at times… even if he’s got dirty thoughts in mind to go along with it. He knows how romantic a candle lit bedroom with a bed covered in rose petals while sexy jazz plays in the background really sets the mood. Too bad it didn’t actually work out the first time he tried it.
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Sadly, Ian was hoping that if he set the mood just right, he and Alice could finally go all the way and lose their virginity to each other. Too bad the mood died a painful death when Shaun walked in instead, and it was a while before Ian got the guts to try that again… at least while Alice was still rooming with Shaun. Initiating sex with her was much easier after they moved into their own place.
I’ve gone over the reasons why I think Ian cheated in previous posts, here, here, here, and here in detail, so I won’t rehash it too deeply this post.
To sum it up - Ian was on his own for the first time in his life when he moved to the performing arts school, without anyone to support him, particularly his partner. He had grown conventionally attractive as he aged, and he was surrounded by peers who shared his interests, which gave him a taste of popularity for the first time. He was given all sorts of new and exciting experiences, meeting all sorts of people who he found attractive. He grew closer to new people, and without his partner around he grew lonely… which led him to giving in to his desires in the worst way possible.
The experience was exciting. The forbidden nature of it actually made the act more enticing due to how repressed Ian was because of his background. It was all “sinful” after all…
Like a lot of people who grew up heavily repressed by religion, Ian finds arousal in things deemed forbidden and sinful. Despite being bullied as a kid, being degraded sexually is something that turns him on. Though he protests about being teased, he enjoys it, even to the point that being called a beast or a sinful slut makes him feel aroused, though he finds such feelings confusing. He likes being commanded and punished by his partner, completely at their mercy and begging them for more.
While this would suggest Ian is a submissive, he’s actually a switch vers. It doesn’t matter who’s doing the penetrating as long as it feels good. Taking control of his partner and rutting into their holes like an animal feels just as good as being taken. He just needs to learn how to better control his urges so he can pay attention to his partner’s needs and comfort to improve taking the dominant role.
Ian is the type of person who gets lost in the pleasure of sex. Once he gets to a certain point, he starts losing his inhibitions, getting more vocal and needy. He’ll praise his partner and beg for more even when he’s the one dominating, growing increasingly needier as the pleasure grows more intense.
The part of the body Ian finds most attractive is the ass. More than once he’s had thoughts of slapping or squeezing his partner’s ass, but was too shy to give into the urge except when actively engaging in sex. Because of this, his favorite position is doggy style, as we can see in this very NSFW picture by Sauce. He loves the way his partner’s ass bounces with each thrust, and he’ll add to the jiggle with the occasional slap once he loses himself in the moment. As he grows more confident in his desires and represses himself less, he’ll consciously want to explore the kink of spanking.
Bondage, both giving and receiving, is something that Ian would want to try, along with some other kinks, but he doesn’t have the courage to initiate it at this time. In general, he struggles to initiate anything related to sex, as that ties into the guilt and shame that was hammered into his upbringing. However, it’s fairly easy for him to get aroused, which would serve as an unintentional way to initiate sex more often than not.
Being an actor, Ian would thrive with roleplay in the bedroom. It would help him pretend to be someone else, someone more confident and lustful. It could help him lose himself in the moment rather than get caught up in his own doubts and insecurities.
Ian struggles with accepting his own sexual desires, which makes it harder for him to communicate with his partner about his needs. This leads to him taking cues from ecchi on what to do, not checking in with his partner like he should, and getting lost in the moment, letting the urges take him where he wants to go. Once he accepts himself as a sexual being and that it’s healthy to feel these desires, his communication difficulties with his partner should improve.
Having a partner who takes the lead is probably ideal for Ian. Being told what to do is something he’s used to, and he feels more confident with guidance. He worries about making mistakes, but if he’s guided through the scene by his partner, he has less reason to worry. In a way, being so good at taking direction is why he makes an excellent actor.
Speaking of direction, how about we switch over to the next love interest on the list?
Shaun
Shaun has a bit of a wild side when it comes to sex. He loves kitten play, both being the kitten and being the master of a sweet sexy kitten. He’ll put his partner in cat ears, a tail with a butt plug, and a collar with a leash if they let him, and he’ll be open to doing the same in return.
Biting and scratching is another one of his kinks, with some minor sadism and masochism. Spanking, bondage, blindfolds… Shaun is eager to explore unconventional means of having sex.
Shaun’s favorite part of the body is thighs. He’ll happily die suffocated by his partner’s thighs. Lying down with his head in his partner’s lap will make him purr. He’ll wear their thighs as earmuffs and bend them back as he pleases, paying extra attention kissing, licking, biting, and raking his fingernails across them.
Then, of course, there’s thigh-high fishnet stockings. Wear a pair of these, especially when accented with a garter belt, and Shaun turns into a puddle of horny goo, especially if they’re worn by his partner/crush, as shown in this steamy picture by Sauce.
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To be fair, this is a very spicy sight. Shaun is a man of taste.
Overall, Shaun is a dominant vers, but he’s willing to submit and be a good kitty… eventually. Cats do what they want after all, and it’s going to take a little more than some ear scritches to get this cat daddy to submit to his partner, which is part of the fun.
Speaking of which, Shaun has a daddy kink. If his partner can be a good little kitten and let daddy pet and play with them as he pleases, he’ll be a very happy cat daddy.
While Shaun leans towards monogamy, he’s actually open to joining a poly relationship if the right people came along. He actually considered what it might be like to enter a relationship with both Alice and Ian, but he found that his vibes just didn’t mesh with Ian at all, and not just because Ian’s taste in anime is trash. He just never felt attracted to Ian like he did with Alice, and they never really connected like he did with her.
Shaun got a crush on Alice while they were taking the same class in college. He met her well before he ever knew Ian. They sat next to each other in class and wound up chatting often. They had stuff in common like horror movies, enjoying goth aesthetic, and being silly goobers who joke around with their friends. They’re also the mom/dad friend types taking care of their friend group. She was just so kind and sweet that he couldn’t help but fall hard for her.
It’s a shame that when Shaun finally gathered up the courage to ask Alice out, she casually mentioned that she was meeting with her boyfriend, breaking the poor guy’s heart.
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Poor Shaun. Alice had no idea that he was asking her out on a lunch date instead of just going to grab a bite as friends. She missed all the signals he sent her way.
After that, Shaun tried hard not to think about his crush on Alice. He tried to just be there for her as a friend and move on from his romantic feelings, if only for the sake of their friendship. It was just hard when they had so much in common and had such good chemistry… and he couldn’t help but notice some troubling red flags in her relationship with Ian.
It never really seemed to be the right time for Shaun to try to get together with Alice. First it was because she was already in a relationship. Then she had been cheated on and needed a friend rather than someone who would take advantage of her in her most vulnerable moment. She was still in love with Ian even after the breakup, and wasn’t receptive to anyone else romantically for a long time.
Throughout knowing Alice, Shaun has dated other people. He’s had other crushes and tried to get into relationships, some more serious than others, but none have really worked out so far. He has yet to find someone who clicks with him the way that she does. Hopefully one day that might change. He had hoped that when he went off to another college that the distance would allow him to let go of his romantic feelings.
Sadly, a part of Shaun still couldn’t shake the small hope that maybe someday the stars would align and things could work out between them. Coming back to see Alice again just made all the feelings he thought he got over come rushing back… only for his heart to be crushed again when he finds out that once again she has a boyfriend who isn’t him…
Poor Shaun has it rough. I feel so bad for him. This is why I struggle with writing love triangles, hahaha. Still, I’m going with the headcanon that he does find love with someone eventually, someone who he is glad finally came into his life who he just can’t live without. I don’t have a specific character in mind for that role just yet, but I do have a few possibilities that I’m playing around with…
With that said, let’s move on to the fourth and final love interest.
Nick
I’m still indecisive on Nick’s view on love at this point, beyond his crush on the cute cashier at the circus-themed frozen yogurt shop. I’m tempted to have him be a stalker yandere like I talked about in an earlier theory about all the love interests being yandere, but also I’m tempted to go with the angle of him being a sex worker who just wants someone to love him for himself and not simply see him for what he does online.
I’ll probably get a better idea of which direction I want to go with Nick eventually. After all, the audio drama for him on patreon did influence some of my headcanons for him.
Maybe I’ll go with a combination of the two extremes. It would be hilarious that a yandere stalker dom finds himself tongue-tied in front of his crush despite working as an online influencer, rather than it just being a shy mask to get the object of his affection to lower their guard. Hmm…
Regardless of which direction I choose, Nick flirting with Alice at her job didn’t earn him any favors when it came to winning her heart. If anything it made her more on guard around him and lessened his chances of getting closer with her. It’s nothing personal against him, but being hit on while she’s at work makes her feel like she’s trapped, since she can’t leave, and she has no choice but to be polite to customers no matter what happens.
While I don’t have too many love-based headcanons really solidified in my head yet when it comes to Nick, I do see his primary love language as quality time. He’ll make time for those who he cares for, no matter how packed his schedule is, and he appreciates the same from them in return.
Since we’re shy on the romantic headcanons for Nick, let’s just go right to the spice. As we see in his profile, he’s an influencer by day and a dom by night. The audio drama shows him with a very dominating and flirty personality, at least when it comes to his audience. He runs an online streaming show where he talks sweet and dirty to his viewers live on camera. He also takes requests, which vary on the donation tiers. Those requests usually involve dirty talk, exposing himself, using toys on his body, and such. He has quite a lot of subscribers on lonelyfans, and most popular are his private one-on-one shows with a special lucky viewer on rare occasions.
Nick is big into exhibitionism. He shows off his body without shame and enjoys the attention he gets from his audience. He absolutely loves to talk dirty and see how it affects people. He’s good at painting a picture in his audience’s heads with a lewd description, and he gets off on the idea that he’s driving so many of his viewers crazy with lust.
While Nick does want someone to love him as a person, he also wants to be an object of desire for many people. He enjoys his job as a sex worker and the attention he gets online as a sexy dom with his lonelyfans account. Even if he was in a relationship, he would still do his lewd performances before the camera… and maybe he’ll have a special guest star or two on his show if he’s lucky. He would love to convince his romantic partner to join him on camera and dominate them before his large audience, maybe even take the viewers’ requests to decide what he’ll do to his partner next.
Although Nick is looking to join a relationship with just one person, he’s not against the idea of entering a poly relationship, or even participating in an orgy. After all, the more the merrier, right?
Just like on his live shows, Nick is a dominant in bed. He might be shy in casual settings, but he takes control of the scene when with a partner. He’s the one setting the pace, wanting to make his partner beg him and say what exactly they want. He experiments with the kinkier side of BDSM too, such as bondage, candles, and all sorts of toys that can leave a mark on skin and make his partner scream for him.
Nick is very experienced as a dom. He knows how to practice proper BDSM safety and take care of his partner(s) afterward. He can be soft during aftercare, and he knows the benefits of cuddle time. After all, he has a couple fur babies to take care of, and Pico and Cheese make excellent cuddle companions.
I think I’ll finish up Nick’s headcanons with this final spicy tidbit. As we’ve seen in teaser art, Nick has tongue and nipple piercings. I also headcanon that he has a jacob’s ladder piercing. I won’t describe what that is here, but if you know, you know.
I’ve heard that there are people who enjoy the feeling of piercings on sensitive areas, and Nick is one of them.
Conclusion
That’s about all that I can think of at the moment when it comes to my general love/sex headcanons for the main cast. I hope you all enjoyed my thoughts about what turn these five on and what they look for when it comes to relationships.
Though I suspect that when the full release of the game comes out, we’re going to discover that the male leads are probably going to be a lot kinkier than a vanilla aro/ace like me can headcanon up. Just a hunch. ;)
If you are hungry for more smut involving these characters, then you might be interested in checking out Sunshine in Hell or Sunshine in Another World. Those stories are rated as explicit for a reason, and there’s only going to have more scenes of smut to come. I’ve got plenty of rough drafts in the writing tag that I need to finish polishing and post on AO3 after all.
If you like my stories and ideas, please let me know what you think! I absolutely adore all kinds of feedback. It really helps fuel my creativity. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed reading this huge collection of sugar and spice!
EDIT: Holy crap the timing. I finished this list at the same time as a new incredibly spicy audio drama for Jack dropped on patreon. Join the $5 tier if you want to give it a listen. It’s so, so good and well worth it.
It did disprove that Jack is incapable or cursing or that he would call his sunshine a slut unprompted... but I’m going to stick with that headcanon for the Sunshine in Hell telling of the story anyway. Though eventually he will be able to get pretty spicy with his language the more he loosens up.
The drama also reminded me of a couple things that I left out. I’ve added a few more headcanons to Jack and Alice’s entries since the initial post, and it’s possible I might go back and add even more if more ideas hit me, hahaha. Sorry for any inconvenience.
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[CN] Victor’s Mind Quest – Not the Slightest Gap (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a mind quest, 至无隙无间, that is yet to be released in the global server! ♡
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[Additional Warning]: As the spice for this mind quest is very explicit and borderline, if you don’t qualify for the 16+ rating of the game (CN server), it’s recommended that you don’t proceed under the cut~ :>
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
The exclusive radio is to be read before CH 1. Please make sure you read that before continuing. Here: ♡♡
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 1] ✧
It’s very early in the morning, and the horizon has just unveiled the trace of a mackerel sky. I gently push open the bedroom door, walk quietly on my tiptoes, roll up a corner of the duvet and get in.
Even though I try my best to keep my movements light, the sound of even breathing in my ears ceases instantly, and I hear a slightly awakened voice reaching my ears.
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Victor: [adorably husky, sleepy tone]  What time is it?
MC: It’s past five…
Victor sighs a little helplessly. Then he reaches out and embraces me, wrapping my entire body in the warmth of his arms.
I instinctively release a sigh and curl up in his arms contentedly.
The year-end projects during this time have made me very busy and disoriented, and working overtime has already become a common occurrence. Even Victor is helpless about my frazzled appearance.
But no matter how cautiously I lie down every night, he always feels my presence in the first instance and enfolds me in his arms.
Victor: [sexy grunt, husky tone]  Lie down and focus on sleeping.
Victor: Don’t mull over work stuff in bed like you did a couple days ago.
MC: Understood~
I stealthily stick my tongue out. Just as I’m thinking about trying to relax and fall asleep, an idea for a new project pops into my head.
After a few moments of being torn, I clench the arm wrapped tightly around my waist and quietly move a few inches away.
Victor: [softly gasps]  Where are you going again?
MC: Go-going to the bathroom.
Victor: Didn’t you just go to the bathroom before lying down?
MC: …so you heard that.
I mutter in a low voice, unable to find any other reasons for the moment.
MC: Well… I accidentally came up with an idea for a new project, and I’m afraid I’ll forget it tomorrow. So, I wanted to go and write it down.
MC: I’ll really just go and write it down~
Even though I deliberately emphasize the pronunciation of “accidentally” and make a promise, the strength around my waist still tightens unexpectedly.
Victor: [grunts softly, sighs]  …your “accident” is very dedicated to your work.
Victor: No need to go to all that trouble. I’ll remember it for you. Go on.
MC: Who on earth submits a report to the CEO early in the morning?
Victor: It’s not like a certain someone has never done this before.
[Tidbits]: Refresher– a reference to S1 CH 7~ :>
His deep and low voice is laced with a hint of sleepiness that he is unable to conceal, blocking my retort.
Victor: And besides, right now, I’m not listening to your report as the CEO.
I blink, sensitively catching the implication of his words. My heart can’t help but turn into a puddle, and I finally give in and tell him about the idea I’ve come up with after a moment of resistance.
I turn over expectantly just as I finish speaking, looking into his deep eyes.
MC: How is it? Do you think it’s a feasible plan?
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Victor: [laughs softly]  I’m only responsible for remembering. I’m not gonna comment.
MC: …why are you being like this?
In the cold white light of dawn, I can see the corners of his lips vaguely curving upwards, as if he doesn’t plan on talking with me about this anymore.
I glare at him in secret and roll over again, deliberately sighing long and hard.
MC: That’s good. I feel even more sleepless now––
Hearing me pretending to feel wronged, Victor behind me seems to release a helpless, soft chuckle.
Victor: [sighs helplessly] Since you can’t sleep, answer a few questions of mine then.
Victor: Have you forgotten anything recently?
I’m stumped for a moment, wondering why he is suddenly asking this. Regardless, I earnestly reflect on this for a while. And in the next moment, I can’t help but let out a small cry of alarm.
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MC: AHH! I forgot to eat that pudding you made for me!
Victor: [precious gasp] …I didn’t think you’d think of that first.
Victor: No need to have such a big reaction. If those who don’t know hear you, they will think you’ve forgotten something of enormous value.
MC: Of course, it’s something of enormous value! You especially made that for me three days ago when you saw how hard I was working…
I turn around and poke his arm tentatively.
MC: Do you think it’s still edible?
Victor: Yes.
Victor: But after eating it, it shouldn’t be just a certain someone’s brain that will go bad.
I look at him with a blank expression. It takes me churning it several times in my mind to realize that he is scolding me.
MC: Victor!
A few soft, increasingly cheerful laughs ring in my ears. As I glower at him, he slowly withdraws his joking expression.
Victor: Is that the only thing you’ve forgotten?
MC: …is there anything else?
I gape wordlessly, waiting for his “crusade” without any confidence.
Victor: A certain someone was rolling up her sleeves to fight for the tickets to a musical half a month ago, but she forgot about it when they started selling the tickets.
Victor: It’s been about a week now, and the bag of tulip seeds is still exactly where it was in the living room since we bought them.
Victor: You don’t expect that they will jump into the flower pots and grow themselves, do you?
Victor: Also, I remember that you were planning to sign up for a dance class; to go and sweat it out after work…
Seeing my eyes widen in confusion, Victor raises his eyebrows somewhat helplessly.
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Victor: Indeed, a three-minute enthusiasm it was.
His face takes on an expression that says– “I knew it,” and following this, a somewhat vague memory surfaces in my mind.
───── [Flashback Begins] ─────
It was a night about two weeks ago. Victor and I were waiting on the roadside for the car after having dinner, and I was caught off guard by someone slipping a small flyer in my hand.
Passerby: Learn about Paso Doble dance~
I glanced down inadvertently and caught a glimpse of the bright red headline–– a passionate ballroom dance: Paso Doble.
The male and female dance partners in the picture on the side were intimate and assertive in their movements. I subconsciously stole a glance at Victor. He was looking at the finance and economics news on his phone, a calm and focused expression on his face.
A small, wicked idea suddenly bubbled up in my mind. I mysteriously leaned over to him and shook the flyer in my hand to him.
MC: Victor, would you like to sign up with me for a passionate Paso Doble dance experience?
Victor: [sighs sharply] Nope.
Victor: It’s not like I haven’t experienced a certain someone’s dance before.
[Tidbits]: Refresher– “Dance Date” reference where he taught her to dance, “Exhibition Date” reference where they danced in the rain~
He didn’t say much, but it seemed to convey the disdain implied therein vividly and thoroughly. I felt choked up and couldn’t help opening my mouth to refute.
MC: You don’t know about this Paso Doble dance yet. Aren’t you rejecting it a bit too early?
MC: Look at what it says on the flyer–– “The Paso Doble dance originated in France. It’s a dance that imitates a bullfighter’s movements, and the dancer’s posture is valiant and impassioned.”
MC: “In the Paso Doble dance, you can unleash the instinct to chase, hunt, and tear at…”
MC: So, don’t you want to chase, hunt, and tear me apart?
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Victor: …
Victor finally took his eyes off the phone, shooting a surveying glance left and right.
Victor: Do you want to hear what you just said?
As the belated realization dawned on me, I stopped talking and turned my head to make sure there wasn’t anyone around, smiling in embarrassment.
MC: Actually, I’ve been thinking for a while now about whether to do some exercise after work and sweat it out.
MC: I feel that dancing seems more fun. Moreover, I can learn ballroom dancing with you, and this way, there won’t be any interference in our time together~
I took his arm affectionately, swaying it expectantly.
He lifted the corners of his lips in what seemed like amusement and helplessness.
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Victor: [sighs helplessly]  If you’re not over this three-minute enthusiasm by next week, we’ll talk about it then.
───── [Flashback Ends] ─────
That completely undisguised query reverberates in my ears, and my cheeks can’t help but be flushed.
MC: It’s not that it was a three-minute enthusiasm. I really want to take dance lessons with you. But how do I find the time now?
I arch up against his chest, my tone tinged with a hint of coquetry.
MC: I now need CEO Victor to remind me about eating.
Victor holds down my bobbing head, rapping it gently with his finger pad.
Victor: [laughs softly] And do you know that your daily routine has also been a mess lately?
Victor: Now hurry up and get some sleep. I’ll take a look at your proposal when I get up tomorrow. I can give you some suggestions.
I let out a small cry of delight and hug him immediately.
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MC: No wonder they say no amount of anything can be a substitute for the CEO of LFG. Victor, you’re too great~
Victor: [sexy whisper] If you talk any more nonsense, I’ll dismiss tomorrow’s help.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 2] ✧
By the time I wake up again, it’s already noon.
Relaxed and refreshed, Victor sits on the sofa, sipping his coffee. On the table in front of him is the proposal I wrote yesterday till the late hours at night.
I hurriedly rub my eyes as I walk over to pick up the document and find that it has been marked with numerous annotations.
Victor: The overall direction is fine, but some details need fine-tuning.
Victor: As you can see now, your current logic is starting to get chaotic.
When I skim through it carefully, the realization suddenly dawns on me.
MC: Indeed. I seem to have drilled into a lot of insignificant problems...
Sighing, I rub my face between my hands as I feel a little out of my depth and put on an expression of humbly seeking his advice.
MC: Victor, how do you adjust in such situations when you lose your judgment due to having your hands full?
Victor raises an eyebrow at my words and looks at me. Understanding tacitly, I immediately withdraw my question.
MC: ...yes, you should never lose your judgment, even if your hands are full.
The corners of Victor’s lips curl up slightly. He lowers his head, takes a sip of his coffee, then stands up.
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Victor: Go and wash up briefly. Let’s go somewhere.
A wave of elegant classical music flows through the high-end dance costume store, and a variety of exquisite dance outfits hang on the clothes hangers.
MC: What are we doing here?
I stand in the clothing store, feeling a little at a loss.
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Victor: Pick a set you like. I’ve already asked Goldman to sign us up for dance classes.
MC: ?? You really signed us up for dance classes??
He nods without having any change of expression on his face, his gaze sweeping over the few women’s outfits next to him.
Victor: Wasn’t a certain someone looking forward to it at the time?
MC: Expectations are expectations... but I thought you’d let me have more time to rest when I could. After all, I’m working so much now.
Victor: Work will never end.
Victor withdraws his gaze, a few traces of calmness reflecting in his deep eyes.
Victor: As the boss of [MC’s Company Name], you will only have more and more things on your plate.
Victor: But if you lose the pace of your life every time you are busy with work, all your rhythms will be disrupted.
MC: My rhythms are not at the point of being “disrupted,” right...?
Victor: It looks like a certain someone has already forgotten about that poor pudding in the fridge and those tulip seeds.
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MC: ...didn’t forget, didn’t forget.
I make a standing-at-attention posture.
MC: I’m just a little curious. What does this have to do with us signing up for dance classes?
Victor: If you don’t want your work to lead you by the nose every time, finding your core with a regular activity is the best solution.
MC: Core?
MC: You mean, it’s something analogous to the power of body and mind?
Victor glances at me with a gratified look.
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Victor: There will always be changes and challenges in the outside world, and these are variables that are impossible to guard against.
Victor: It’s only when you have a stable core that the chaotic situations won’t be able to snatch away the initiative.
Although his explanation is brief, I already vaguely understand something, my eyes resting on the dance skirt behind Victor.
MC: So, the regular activity you mentioned just now is taking me to dance lessons?
Victor: Mm. Dancing is a good way of regulating yourself.
Victor: It can not only help you sweat and relieve stress, but it’s also a good form and physical exercise and a way of looking for core.
He pauses, his serene tone taking on an imperceptible hint of indulgence.
Victor: And like you said, it’s something I can accompany you on.
He downplays the last half of his sentence, but it stirs up a small wave of tingle in my heart.
He talked about so many major principles and all that. But in the end, it’s all because he cares about me~
Victor doesn’t seem to make out the smugness in my heart, continuing to speak.
Victor: It won’t take up too much of your time. If you can spare an hour or two for a few days, it will work just fine.
MC: But what if I can’t finish my work?
Victor: When have I ever let you drop the ball?
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MC: That’s true~
The transparent favoritism in his words causes me to burst into a cheerful smile. I look at my toes and begin to ponder conscientiously.
What Victor said just now is actually traceable in him. After all, no matter how busy he is, he will still find time to go to Souvenir to cook and relax.
Perhaps cooking is kind of a core of his being.
MC: If I can find my core, will I be able to make judgments and deal with things as calmly as you do?
Victor: I can’t guarantee that.
Victor glances down at my hand with which I have hooked his finger, seemingly a little amused.
Victor: [with an interlaced soft laugh]  But right now, at least you can calmly fire your flatteries.
I give a soft “humph,” deciding to be generous and not quibble with him, and lift my chin accordingly.
MC: I take your suggestion and will go to the dance classes with you.
MC: But why did we come straight to pick out clothes? Don’t we need to attend a trial class to understand it first?
Victor: Because beginning with the sense of ritual a certain someone likes the most can bring out one’s vibrant nature.
As he finishes speaking, he suddenly turns around and directly picks up a dance dress of vibrant color right behind him.
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Victor: This one.
MC: Eh? But I haven’t picked it out yet?
Victor: From the moment we walked in the door, your eyes have been darting towards this one.
Victor: If I couldn’t still read what’s on your mind, I’d be a dummy.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 2, Memory Silhouette, Narrator POV] ✧
Several beautifully plated dishes have been laid out in order on the table. Victor lifts his eyes and glances toward the living room, but he doesn’t catch sight of the girl’s figure on the sofa.
Victor: MC, dinner is ready.
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The voice that always responds to him loudly and clearly doesn’t ring out.
A little surprised, Victor cranes his head, realizing that it seems the girl hasn’t made much noise since the two of them bought their dance clothes and returned home in the afternoon.
Victor: Have you fallen asleep?
Victor takes off his heat-resistant gloves and heads toward the bedroom.
The bed in the bedroom is empty. His eyebrows knit into a frown, only to hear the faint rustling sound of a zipper coming from the walk-in closet.
Through the blurry, transparent glass door, he can vaguely see the familiar figure of the girl.
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Victor takes a few steps inside and sees the girl standing in front of the full-length mirror and trying on her newly brought dance dress, totally unaware of his arrival.
The silky satin fabric tightly hugs her waistline, and her beautiful butterfly bones are revealed through the backless dress, the vibrant crimson color making her skin even fairer in contrast.
Even though Victor has seen the girl trying on the dance dress in the clothing store before, there seems to be something a little different about this moment.
The warm light of the walk-in closet glistens on the hem of the girl’s skirt, the satin glowing with spots of golden reminiscent of fish scales.
The girl gently sways the hem of her skirt a little, and stars seem to be trickling brilliantly on her body.
She seems dazzled by the fine light streaming through her eyes, and unconsciously reveals a simple and somewhat silly smile.
Victor is stunned for a moment, subconsciously recalling the last time he saw this smile.
Perhaps it was a week ago, the day they agreed to plant tulips together.
When Victor pushed open the door to the home, he almost tripped over the bag of tulip seeds sprawled across the foyer.
Heaving a sigh, he moved the seeds to the corner and found the flower pots and planting tools there. Upon this, he headed for the study.
He thought the girl would welcome him with a beaming smile, take his arm, and jump and frisk about toward the “little garden” on the terrace she had nurtured with utmost care.
But before he could approach, the girl’s serious voice transmitted through the half-closed door of the study. It seemed that she was in the middle of a work phone call.
Out of courtesy, Victor did not continue to listen. But from the few words that drifted to his ears, it wasn’t difficult to perceive—
Time was pressing, but she insisted on prioritizing the quality and asked for the program to be redone.
Victor knew a smile that could be called one of approval had surfaced on his face.
Planting the flowers could wait until she is done with her work–– Victor thought to himself and put the tools for planting flowers one by one in their original position.
Or perhaps it was four days ago, when he made her most beloved pudding for the girl who had been working late.
Even though she had eaten the same taste countless times, she would always finish eating the pudding in big scoops and give a satisfied giggle every time.
But that day, she just wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled coquettishly. Then, she put the pudding next to her computer and said that she would use it to motivate herself to be more efficient tonight.
The next morning, Victor was a little surprised to see the pudding in the fridge, untouched.
Originally, these were the moments when he could’ve received that simple smile from her without a second thought. But time and time again, his potential expectations were dashed.
Victor pulls himself back from his thoughts. The smile on the girl’s face in front of the full-length mirror has not yet waned.
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As if infected, his brows slowly slacken, and the corners of his lips curl up into the same arc as hers.
Victor quietly takes a step back and closes the door to the walk-in closet for her.
Just let her be so simply happy for a little while longer.
While he waits, he can prepare another pudding for her for dessert.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 3] ✧
The pure white marble floor is as bright as a mirror, and the ornate crystal chandelier overhead reflects the multicolored light.
Standing in the dance classroom reminiscent of a palace, I quietly lean into Victor’s ear.
MC: This is not the dance classroom in that little advertisement, is it?
Victor lowers his head and straightens his sleeves, and there isn’t a single ripple in his tone.
Victor: It’s a one-on-one class, so that you can flexibly adjust the class time to suit your schedule.
A feeling of warmth surges in my heart in vain, and before the smile at the corners of my lips can be heaved up, Victor adds another sentence unhurriedly.
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Victor: [overflowing teasing tone]  And, I also found teachers of high caliber. A certain someone can hone her skills conveniently while learning, so that she doesn’t keep stepping on other people’s toes at parties.
MC: [muttering]  grudge-bearing devil.
While the dance teachers are entering the classroom, I stick my tongue out at Victor’s back.
In order to give us an initial introduction to the Paso Doble dance, the two teachers briefly exchange pleasantries with us before demonstrating a short dance routine for us.
Female Teacher: In the Paso Doble dance, although the female partner is in a passive position, she actually needs to arouse the instinct and desire of the male partner to “fight,” to seduce, stimulate and conquer the other person.
As she explains, the female teacher moves her body in a particularly expressive and lively manner to the impassioned music. I can vaguely feel a lot of pressure coming over me.
I tug at the corner of Victor’s shirt.
MC: I had no idea that the emotions of the Paso Doble dance would be so extroverted.
Seemingly hearing the hesitation in my tone, Victor lowers his head and looks at me.
Victor: [overflowing teasing tone]  Didn’t you want me to chase, hunt, and tear you apart? Why is there no confidence now?
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MC: …
I grit my teeth in indignation and pay no more attention to this gloating man.
Male Teacher: Today, we will start with the simple basic steps.
Along with these words from the teacher, we officially begin our first Paso Doble dance lesson.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve given myself the psychological cues, but I really feel a little helpless. It’s either that I can’t stretch my body at all, or I’m simply getting frantic.
Female Teacher: You can spin your hand’s pattern along with your body.
MC: Like this?
Victor: She meant for you to rotate your palm when you jump apart, not take me with you.
MC: Oh-oh!
Female Teacher: When you put your hand on your male partner, sink your shoulder. Otherwise, it will look like you’re trying to fight with him.
MC: Okay, okay…
By the end of the class, I’m already dripping with sweat, not to mention the female teacher’s outpouring emotions, strength, and feeling of conquering the male partner.
On the other hand, even though Victor’s forehead is also covered with a layer of sweat from the dance, the way he carries himself exudes a sense of calmness at all times.
…damn it, why is this man so skilled at everything he does?
Fortunately, the content of the first lesson is only about getting familiar with the basic dance steps. It soon ends with a wonderfully rich psychological activity.
After making an appointment for the next session, the teachers bring us to the entrance of the lounge.
Male Teacher: The two of you can rest here. We will have someone bring champagne for you guys in a moment.
Female Teacher: It’s a special benefit for the very first course here. Enjoy~
After politely expressing our thanks, I move my already stiff limbs and walk into the lounge with a complex feeling.
As soon as the door is closed, I can’t help but stare at Victor with an extreme look of grievance.
MC: Sob sob sob, what should I do, Victor? I feel like I can’t do it.
Victor: [laughs helplessly]  It was only the first class. Don’t be so nervous.
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MC: It’s not a question of what the class number is… it’s that this dance is too physically and emotionally demanding!
MC: And the teacher wants me to “conquer” you! What is this concept? It’s harder than mounting the sky––
Victor seems to choke on my phrasing.
Victor: [he actually chokes]  Do you have to overstate like that?
MC: Of course! You know I’ve always been the one to be “dominated” by you.
MC: And I’m asked to guide you all of a sudden, and I’m at a loss…
Victor is slightly stunned, his deep eyes roaming over me for a moment as if he is pondering something. Then, he sits down on the sofa in a relaxed manner.
The space suddenly lapses into silence. Victor casually shakes off the sweat from the tips of his hair, then he slowly unfastens his cufflinks and pulls up his sleeves little by little in graceful movements.
Before I can react, I see that long, slender hand moving to his chest and unhurriedly loosening the first button.
…is it that hot?
The question still hasn’t left my mouth when I see that hand continuing to move down, resting on the second button.
My throat inexplicably feels dry. I swallow my saliva, my eyes “sincerely” glued to his slightly undulating chest.
And Victor doesn’t say anything, just meets my gaze looking at him straight-forwardly.
??: Mr. Victor, Miss MC, may I come in now?
There is a sudden knock at the door, interrupting the enchanting sight in the room.
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MC: [blushing and frantic]  ! W-wait a moment!
I subconsciously blurt out. Victor’s hand pauses only for a moment before continuing with the interrupted unbuttoning process.
And even his movements slow down more and more.
MC: What are you doing?
I anxiously ask him in a low voice, gesturing to the door with my gaze as my eyes widen. His gaze falls indifferently to the front, and his tone of voice is heedless.
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Victor: [very amused]  Unbuttoning.
MC: [blushing] …I didn’t ask you that! I mean why on earth are you doing that now! There are people outside.
Victor: [sounds very proud of himself] Because I feel very hot right now.
I’m baffled by his “rightful” attitude, and the constant knocking on the door agitates my mind. I hurriedly gesture at him again.
MC: [blushing and more frantic] Button up! Quick!
Victor obviously doesn’t listen to me, and the slightly raised corner of his eyes even spills out a hint of provocative arrogance.
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Victor: [even more amused and proud]  Are you sure you’re just going to keep watching like this?
Of course not!
The moment the next knock sounds on the door, I finally can’t help but spring up to my feet and walk quickly to the door.
Very cautiously, I open the door just a crack and politely take the champagne from the other party’s hand.
MC: I’m sorry. We’ll help ourselves.
Closing the door, I immediately turn around with a huff.
MC: If I hadn’t stopped that person just now, was CEO Victor going to present himself naked!
Victor: [deep, sexy™ laugh]  …
MC: You’re still laughing??
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I can’t help but grit my teeth. Meeting his haughty and midnight-dark eyes, I simply walk straight up to him and uncork the champagne, pretending to be angry and harsh as I open my mouth.
MC: [blushing]  The teacher will come in a while and talk to us about the feedback.
MC: [blushing]  CEO Victor, you should hurry up and wear your clothes properly. How can you be like this?
Hearing my words, he smiles in an even more unusual manner and gently tugs on yet another button.
His fingertips quietly circle the body of the button. Another one doesn’t survive.
Victor: [with a hint of rogue]  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this.
I immediately shoot him a glare. But he remains unmoved and continues with the unbuttoning process. The dense beads of sweat slightly dampen his dark red dance shirt.
Beneath the gorgeous light, the sparkling and translucent particles are drawn into his firm skin, reflecting a seductive luster.
Those transparent droplets continue to glide down and disappear into the unrevealed territory. They seem to guide one’s line of sight, making them want to see more.
My heartbeat gradually accelerates along with his movements, but the continuous sound of passing footsteps outside the door makes me keep the last ounce of my sanity at bay.
I lift my gaze and meet the rare slyness in his eyes, feeling as if I’ve been gently pricked by something. At this moment, the twisted emotions within me pour down in torrents completely from my heart.
I pick up the wine glass and shove it into his hand, tightly pursing my lips as I pour the champagne. A few drops of translucent wine splash around and land on the backs of our hands.
Victor: [slow, deliberate teasing]  Be calm. You’re wasting the wine.
MC: [blushing] Isn’t this happening because a certain someone... anyway, I can’t calm down now.
Seeing me retorting angrily, Victor, on the contrary, gives a beaming smile.
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Victor: Oh? Why?
MC: I don’t believe that someone as smart as CEO Victor wouldn’t know why.
Victor: [coquettish tone x1] I really don’t know.
Victor: [x2]  After spending a long time with a dummy, there are times when it can get contagious.
MC: ...Victor!
The sweet fragrance of alcohol lingers on the tip of my nose, and along with his provocation, my thoughts are thrown into chaos. I can’t help being the first one to “surrender.”
MC: Don’t you at all feel that your behavior just now was a little too much?
Victor: [deliberately dragging the tail notes]  Maybe, or maybe not.
MC: ...anyway, Mr. CEO just won’t admit to the “crime” he committed just now.
I pause for a moment, glancing at his finger resting on the button.
MC: And you still plan to continue doing it, don’t you?
Victor releases a soft laugh, looking at the liquid in his glass with a composed expression.
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Victor: Wanting me to listen to what you say, to do what you say – wouldn’t that depend on whether or not a certain someone can show some “sincerity?”
…you almost presented yourself naked in front of other people, and you want me to show “sincerity?”
I grit my teeth in indignation, lifting my wrist, which was about to stop pouring the wine, aloft again.
The raised wine bottle continues to spurt out the golden liquid with a gurgling sound, and an unending stream of wine pours into the glass in his hand.
MC: Is this kind of “sincerity” enough?
The aroma of champagne gradually pervades the air of the lounge, and the wine is about to be filled to the brink. But Victor still wears that expression of remaining calm in the hour of peril.
I start to lose confidence a little, so I can only inwardly bite the bullet and see it to the end without stopping.
At the moment when the golden champagne is about to spill over, Victor finally opens his mouth softly.
Victor: [laughs softly]  It’s enough.
I hastily withdraw my hand, stealthily heaving a sigh of relief.
Victor: I admit that I’ve committed a worthy “crime” just now.
Victor: Didn’t a certain someone say just now that she is incapable of occupying the guiding position in front of me? But now it seems that it’s very much in the process of being shaped.
Victor lowers his head and lightly takes a sip of the champagne in a graceful movement, not allowing a single drop of wine to be divulged.
Victor: So next time, just try to “conquer” me.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 4] ✧
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Two weeks later, at night. I’m practicing my newly learned dance steps in the dance studio at home.
Although I feel tired after each dance practice, I wake up the next day with high spirits, a positive feeling radiating from my body and mind.
This feeling is particularly strong when I’m working. Compared with the dispirited tone some time ago when I was dragging my body, now my entire being feels as if it’s brimming with energy.
Is this the core Victor was talking about?
Although I’m not too sure, I do find time to practice at home on days when we don’t have class so that I don’t lose this energy.
I look intently at myself in the mirror, and as the last rhythm falls, it jams perfectly with the ending movement.
Victor: That was a pretty good dance.
Following the sound, I turn around and see Victor leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed over his chest. He is wearing a dark-colored bathrobe, and the tips of his hair are slightly wet. It seems that he has just finished his shower.
MC: It seems I don’t feel so embarrassed when I’m not dancing in front of the teacher.
MC: Why don’t you and I dance together and see how it feels?
My gaze lands on his hair, and I shake my head again.
MC: Never mind. You’ve already washed up.
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Victor: [laughs softly]  It won’t hurt to dance through it once.
He walks up to me before I can answer and extends his palm. I slightly freeze for a moment, then hand my palm to him.
The melody flows slowly, and along with a note soaring intensely, the heavy curtains of the high-pitched and penetrating symphony are pulled open.
I skillfully put my hands on Victor’s shoulders, rise on my tiptoes, and then make my landing on the ground.
In the swaying dance steps, we sometimes cling to each other’s chest, and sometimes we push and pull, spinning and stretching.
Plink.
And along with a sharp flinging back of the head, a few drops of cold water land on my lower jaw, appearing to be the droplets of water from the tips of Victor’s hair.
They glide down my chin to my collarbones, producing an almost unbearable itching sensation. I pull out my hand to wipe them away, only to have it tightly clutched by Victor in the next beat.
MC: ?
I meet his gaze and capture a fleeting glimpse of teasing in the depths of that pair of slender eyes.
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Victor: Stay focused.
Without waiting for me to react, Victor’s forearm exerts light pressure and pushes me out of his arms according to the choreography of the dance steps.
The dramatic movements cause the belt of his bathrobe to flap, tracing across the skin of my thighs coarsely.
My eyes can’t help but be drawn to his belt, following it to the corners of his robe, which are twining up in the air.
…wait a second.
Victor has just taken a shower. So right now, he shouldn’t be…?
I’m stunned for a moment, my cheeks flaring up immediately as I’m half-nailed to the spot by this sudden thought of mine.
I subconsciously draw my gaze back. However, an indescribable instinct drives me to lift my wrist and glide it toward his lapel.
Victor lowers his head and looks at me in surprise. I slide down my fingers, taking advantage of the twirling motion to “inadvertently” climb up his chest and “accidentally” tug his collar loose.
Intentionally or otherwise, my fingertips brush over his smooth, tight muscles, leading waves of fine shivers to linger in my heart.
Victor: It seems a certain someone has indeed gained her energy back. She is now daring to make little moves.
The steady, self-sustaining voice lands on my ear, leaving a burning warmth in my auricle. I promptly draw myself away a little, winking at him.
MC: If CEO Victor doesn’t mind, I can step up my moves a little more.
Victor: Is that so? And here I thought, that was the limit of a certain someone’s boldness.
The passionate music happens to reach its climax just at this moment, the melody flooding the entire dance studio. It causes my brain to turn blank for an instant, making me impulsive.
I don’t know if it’s his words that have aroused me to lose my reasons for a moment, or if it’s the faintly discernible instinct in the bottom of my heart that has done it…
Before I can think properly, the restless palm of my hand has already taken advantage of the dance movements and quietly slides over the strong thigh underneath the bathrobe.
Even my finger pads seem to glide through even more dangerous territory.
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Victor: [lets out a heavy moan, blushing]  …
The fiery beats seem to conceal a fleeting moan. Victor’s movements clearly fall short by a beat, and a slit finally appears in his blazing gaze.
Seeing him being disoriented like this, I can’t help but feel a little proud of myself.
MC: What do you think of my dance?
His wandering eyes gradually settle down little by little and focus on my face once again, flickering with some unknown complex emotions.
Victor: You loosened up quite a lot.
Victor: [dangerously husky tone]  However, it’s still not enough.
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, the force around my waist suddenly tightens, shackling me firmly to his fiery chest.
The entire world seems to be instantly taken over by Victor’s scent. The searing heat brands onto every inch of my skin, but the man opposite me doesn’t seem satisfied.
He closely follows my movements, and reminiscent of a wild animal on a hunt, he intertwines all my limbs until our bodies completely fit together.
My cheeks instantly flare into a crimson red. The flaming acceleration of my heartbeat causes my breathing to be thrown into chaos, and I struggle to draw in a deep breath.
MC: [blushing]  Wait, this isn’t how the dance works at all, is it?
Victor: A certain someone mustn’t have listened carefully during the class.
Victor: [elaborating the teacher’s words x1]  The teacher clearly said that the Paso Doble dance requires very high coordination of your limbs.
Victor: [x2]  If you really can’t meet the standard, there’s no need to force it.
Victor: [x3]  Amateur entrants can adjust their posture according to their preferences and do improvised dance steps.
The warmth circling my waist gradually shifts downward, holding my body steady as I try to escape.
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Victor: [return of the dangerously husky tone, with a hint of rouge x1] Right now, I’m just tweaking it according to my own preference.
MC: But…
He interrupts my powerless retort, his deep and low voice revealing an irresistible intensity.
Victor: [x2]  And what’s more, we’ve been practicing these few dance steps for two weeks now. It’s time to make some changes.
He slowly presses on towards me, closing the distance until there isn’t the slightest gap between us.
The burning heat coming from the pit of my stomach makes me vaguely aware of what he means, and I can’t resist accepting all of this seduction in my heart as it comes, but I still try my utmost to hang in there with my mouth.
MC: But didn’t you say that if you want to find your core, you have to do it with a regular set of activities?
Victor: That’s indeed what I said.
Victor: But there are many things in the world that… once you set them into a repetitive and fixed order, they will become monotonous to some extent.
As he says this, he squeezes in the slightly moist skin of his thigh between my legs. It’s as if he wants to open up everything I have to him without the slightest reservation.
Being in touch with an icy sensation behind me, I’m suddenly given a jolt, only to find that I’ve been pressed up against the mirror without even realizing it.
In front of me is the breath I’m familiar with. The slightly ragged breathing disturbs the air between us, and I feel my brain becoming light and airy, as if it has been stripped of oxygen.
Victor lowers his head. His moist kisses land softly and wordlessly in the pit of my stomach, dabbing away a few drops of water that pelt onto there earlier.
I instinctively squint my eyes, feeling the delicate sense of satisfaction flooding my entire chest.
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Victor: [that sly, sexy whisper x1]  Do you know what needs to be done when something becomes monotonous?
MC: [blushing] Wh-what?
Victor: [x2]  Make an improvised mess.
My consciousness is erratic at the moment, and I can’t seem to fully comprehend the meaning of his words. I only feel as if I were being burned by the blazing heat of his voice, and all my feelings seem to rush together to the top of my head.
Through the hazy corner of my eye, I see a dense layer of mist appearing on the surface of the mirror behind me, concealing the overlapping and undulating figures in the mirror.
I withdraw my gaze, using the last ounce of my sanity to focus on the face in front of me.
That pair of eyes, which has always been self-restrained, gradually becomes dazed, reflecting my equally inextricable gaze.
Longingly, I cling even closer to him, until the entire world is invaded and veiled by his breaths.
Amid the chaotic thoughts, the last glimmer of calm reflection flashes through the entirety of my perception––
I seem to clearly understand what my core is.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 4, Memory Silhouette] ✧
It’s early morning on the weekend. The warm sunlight spills over the entire dance studio. Filled with vigor, I tug on my rubber gloves and count the cleaning tools on the floor.
MC: Mop, rags, bucket – we’re all set.
MC: Reporting to CEO Victor, we can start cleaning up the dance studio now~
Victor stands helplessly next to me, silently pulling up the sleeves of his loungewear.
Victor: When I asked a certain someone to find her core, I didn’t mean she has to do every big and small thing.
Victor: We can just call the cleaning auntie. Why go to all this trouble?
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MC: [blushing] How can that be! Weren’t we here yesterday…
I subconsciously make a loud retort, my ears immediately burning up a little as I think back to the scenes from last night that made my heart pound and me a blushing mess. Hemming and hawing, I seem to have lost my ability to speak properly.
MC: [blushing]  A-anyway, we’d better clean it up ourselves!
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Victor gives me an amused look and doesn’t say anything more. He just simply picks up the mop and walks to a corner of the dance studio.
His back is straight, and the slightly blue veins on his arms peek out along with his movements of holding the mop. The sunlight filtering through the window blurs the contours of his sharp jawline.
I stare fixedly at his profile and can’t help but marvel again and again in admiration.
Is there really anyone out there who even makes doing household chores look so captivating?
And at the same time, another voice clamors in a low voice in my heart that I cannot ignore. After staring at Victor for a while, I finally can’t help giving those words a voice as I ask––
MC: Victor… why aren’t you asking me where the steam mop machine at home has gone?
Victor continues to drag the mop without any reaction whatsoever, not even giving me a look.
Victor: I thought you could keep that to yourself for good and not bring it up.
MC: What do you mean?
I tentatively walk up to his side, wiping the mirror while quietly observing his face in the glass.
MC: Did you already notice that the mopping machine is missing?
Victor: If I were as slow as a certain someone, it wouldn’t be surprising at all that this house would be utterly emptied one day.
MC: …humph. Then why didn’t you ask me where it went?
Hearing my words, Victor finally stops his movements and straightens up, giving me a meticulous and careful once–over with a smile in his eyes.
Victor: So that I could see this tentative, fluky, and curious look on a certain dummy’s face right now.
The expression on my face freezes immediately, and I can’t help pouting.
MC: You aren’t curious, are you? Then I won’t tell you~
After saying that, I continue wiping the mirror and catch a glimpse of Victor continuing to mop the floor with a focused expression out of the corner of my eye.
…he can really put up with it, huh. Or is it that he is really not curious?
While I absent-mindedly clean the mirror, the dumbbells, the yoga balls, and all the tables and chairs, I observe Victor’s movements out of the corner of my eyes the whole time.
He cleans the floor on the right side of the dance studio neatly, then wipes his hands and takes out his phone with his back turned to me, not making any new movements for a long time.
What is he looking at? Why so serious?
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Victor: …
Hearing him release a perplexed tone, I can’t resist taking advantage of the wiping motion to walk up behind him and sneak a glance.
Seeing that he is reading an email, I promptly withdraw my gaze out of courtesy, but I inadvertently happen to catch one of the lines––
“Your steam mop machine has been repaired. Please come to the store and collect it promptly.”
MC: Eh??
A soft chuckle resounds in my ears. I lift my head and look at the mirror before me, only to see Victor’s eyes colliding with mine in the glass.
MC: Did you already know that I had sent it in for repair after I accidentally broke it?
Victor: I filled in my email address when we first bought it. So, it’s only natural that the store would send the mail to me.
Victor: Even the reason for the damage is clearly noted here––
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Victor: [adorable teasing tone]  “When teasing a cat with the machine, the body was accidentally knocked to the ground…”
MC: Okay, okay, stop reading…
I smile in embarrassment and cover his phone screen, sheepishly averting my gaze.
Suddenly, a broad palm rubs the top of my head. I lift my eyes and see that Victor seems to be in a very good mood, curling the corners of his lips upward.
Victor: [laughs softly] Of course, I was curious.
Victor: It’s just that a certain dummy has never been very adept at concealing the answer.
Victor: Next time, you can redouble your efforts to do so.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 5] ✧
The end of the year is drawing increasingly nearer. I breathe a long sigh of relief as I conclude processing my final review before the holidays.
The work at the present stage has finally come to an end.
But compared with being relaxed, the feeling that consumes my heart even more is a sense of pride at being able to get things done methodically without wrecking my work and rest balance.
And all of this credit belongs to Victor, who helped me find my core.
I take out my phone and am just about to call him, when Victor’s name jumps up on the screen.
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MC: Hey, are you done with your meeting yet?
Victor: Mm, and I’ve also cleared up my schedule for the night.
Victor: Can a certain someone now tell me what exactly is the mysterious “surprise arrangement” she’s been cooking up these last few days?
MC: I simply want to thank CEO Victor for accompanying me in the dance practice. As for the details, you will find out when you get there.
MC: I’ve already given the address to your driver, and Goldman has the outfit I’ve prepared for you in advance!
Victor: [helpless, inaudible laugh]  …you’re quite good at managing people.
MC: It’s all because CEO Victor taught me so well~ See you later then!
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Before the evening descends, I arrive at the garden villa guest house ahead of schedule.
According to my arrangements, this place has been vacated in the morning, and some special preparations have been made.
After confirming everything, I come to the suite with the best view and begin to decorate this room with utmost care.
MC: Scented candles, flowers, mood lighting… and red wine! All set!
Elated, I admire my own decorations, take out my phone, and record the setting.
A few moments later, the doorbell to the room rings. I rush to the door at once and straighten my hair, before opening it slowly.
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MC: Welcome~
Outside the door, Victor stands against the backdrop of light, the white dance shirt embellished with fine diamonds perfectly framing his physique.
The V-neckline on the chest clings to the surface of his packed muscles, adding a touch of softness and alluring charm to his robust body.
And as his gaze lands on my red dress, a flash of imperceptible daze and breathlessness seems to flicker through his eyes.
I’m unable to grasp the entirety of all this. I just stare blankly at the person in front of me, forgetting to speak for a while.
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Victor: Have you seen enough?
I shake my head.
Victor: [laughs helplessly] …let’s go inside, and you can watch more if you haven’t seen enough.
Amused and in a good mood, Victor takes me by the hand as he walks into the room and sweeps his gaze over the decorations inside, a little smile dyeing the light in his eyes.
Victor: [precious, soft laugh] Is this the dummy’s surprise?
MC: This isn’t everything.
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I step forward and take his arm, bringing him to the semi-open-air balcony with a wide view while wearing a mysterious look on my face.
Seeing that he is a little puzzled, I draw a step back and solemnly twirl up the corner of my skirt, standing on ceremony before him.
MC: Welcome to Victor and MC’s exclusive ball.
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MC: Mr. Handsome CEO, may I have this dance?
As soon as my words fall, a spotlight comes from the direction of the guest house’s wall, enclosing the shadows of the two of us together.
Victor’s motion freezes slightly, followed by his long and narrow eyes gradually rising little by little.
Victor: Of course.
The instant our palms interlace, music begins to play in the garden outside the balcony. We dance to the familiar tune, melding warmly into each other’s arms.
At this moment, a delicate rustling sound breaks out from the sky. Our eyes can’t help being drawn to the source, and we see dazzling red dots of stars emerging high on the horizon.
And in the next instant, bright rose petals sprinkle down like droplets of rain, rendering the crystalline and shimmering lake outside the bay window until it blends in with the warm red of the sky tinged with the colors of sunset.
Victor laughs quietly, a rare softness emerging in the light of his eyes.
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Victor: [precious, helpless soft laugh]  Now can you explain your arrangements to me?
I purse my lips and take a deep breath of the pleasing fragrance of flowers in the air.
MC: We’ve been learning to dance for so long. We’ve got to “perform” once, right?
MC: And I also really wanted to find a sense of ritual for our dancing lessons.
MC: But I still might feel embarrassed in front of other people, so…
MC: I prepared a ball that belongs only to the two of us.
MC: Most importantly, it’s only you and me here now. So, it’s just “our” time~
Victor glances at the rain of petals descending from the sky, raising the tip of his brows slightly.
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Victor: [“still-surprised” laugh]  You not only prepared all these, but even reserved the entire place?
Hearing the surprise in his tone, I stick my tongue out.
MC: Thanks to CEO Victor, I’ve made a small fortune as the owner of [MC’s Company Name].
Victor smiles, letting me lightly spin in his arms.
MC: Judging from the expression on your face, it seems like my surprise has been successful?
Victor: Yes, I’m very surprised.
It’s rare for Victor to admit it so candidly, and the tip of his brows seem to have melted into a soft layer of warmth.
Victor: After all, work and dance practice already kept a certain someone very busy during this time.
Victor: It’s hard to imagine that she still had the energy to prepare all this.
MC: I’ve been very, very busy– so busy that at one point, I was writing a proposal and dancing simultaneously in my dreams.
I wink at him, causing the twinkling light flowing in his eyes to sway even more clearly.
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MC: But thanks to the best Victor in the world, now I will no longer lose the original rhythm of my life because of being busy.
Victor: [precious, overflowing laughter] A certain someone was very quick to see the light this time.
MC: Of course~ Don’t you know who is the one that taught me~
I raise my chin to him as if to show that he is the one who deserves the credit. And then, I seem to think of something. So, I withdraw my joking expression and stare at him earnestly.
MC: And it’s not just that. I also understood one thing––
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MC: Just like eating, sleeping, and laughing heartily, “accompanying the person I love” is something that I cannot allow for its pace to be disrupted.
MC: No matter the situation, it shouldn’t be muddled through for reasons such as “being busy.”
Victor doesn’t say anything, but the ripples shimmering in his eyes lay bare his happy mood.
MC: Come to think of it, this is how you’ve always treated me.
MC: Clearly, you yourself are already very busy. But you still attentively listened to my troubles in the early hours of the morning, found the time to practice dance with me, and helped me regain my stability step by step.
MC: You even secretly got the musical tickets for me and planted the tulips.
Victor laughs softly, drawing us a little closer to each other. I press myself against his chest, quietly listening to that powerful heartbeat.
[Anika’s Notes]: I mostly skip adding translation notes now since time is very short. But I had to stop here– MC uses the term “聆听,” which is different from the usual “听 (listen).” The term MC used means “listening respectfully,” which conveys a reverent emotion; and adds so much more depth to that seemingly simple action~ ❤️
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MC: And because of that, I realized––
MC: Victor, you are my core.
MC: With you by my side, I won’t be too flustered even if something as big as the sky smashes down on me.
I lift my head and gaze at Victor unwaveringly, as if I were trying to look into his heart.
The only thing left in the surrounding is the melody of the music. Amid the quietude, the light in Victor’s eyes is profound, and it’s as if they are tainted with a misty yearning.
I’m intoxicated by the light in that pair of eyes. Despite so, I ask with a little uncertainty.
MC: Why aren’t you saying anything? Did I say it wrongly?
Hearing my words, he releases a deep laugh. His finger pads fondly caress my lips and cheeks, and they finally rest on my back, holding me steady.
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The hem of my skirt flutters in the wind as I gently sit on Victor’s lap, my body leaning back slightly without the slightest apprehension.
Victor bends down following my movements, and his palm clasps around my waist, giving me a sense of complete security just like he’s always given me every time before.
As our breaths entwine in close proximity, I hear his answer.
Victor: [the softest™, sexiest™, striking you in the heart™ whisper to exist x1]  You didn’t say it wrongly.
Victor: [x2]  It’s just that I realized one thing too.
Victor pauses, his tone of certainty brimming with completely undisguised yearning.
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Victor: [x3]  Beginning from a very long time ago, a certain someone seems to have firmly believed that I’m the one who is leading her forward.
Victor: [x4] No matter how big or small, she seems to subconsciously seek my advice and my embrace.
Victor: [x5]  She will cry endlessly in front of me because of a trivial matter. But when faced with real difficulties, she is more courageous than anyone else.
Victor: [x6] And this girl who loves to cry so much, combined with her courage – she made me unable to take my eyes off her.
Victor: [x7]  I thought this contradiction in her was part of the reason that made me addicted to her.
Victor: [x8]  But now, I have another answer.
I gaze back into his eyes with some puzzlement and see the colors of night outlining the moving expression on Victor’s face. It’s as if he has got the entire world in his arms.
Victor: [x9 + helpless laugh] Dummy, it’s not that you’re incapable of guiding me left or right.
Victor: [x10] Rather, it’s with your ability to use the softest of words, and the most natural of gestures that…
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Victor: [x11] –– you have conquered all of me.
The setting sun quietly conceals its appearance, and the pinkish-purple sunset glow is inlaid with infinite stars, bearing witness to everything that has happened on the balcony.
The eyes in front of me are deep and burning hot, as if there are still more words to be said.
But before I can ask, he gently leans into my ear, giving me the best possible answer.
Victor: [x12] What I mean is, I’ve already been conquered by you a long time ago.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
[Anika’s ramblings, feel free to ignore haha]
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194 notes · View notes
l3viat8an · 1 year
Note
Can you do one where reader just spoils asmo. Like taking them on dates buying clothes for them. Basically fluff I think it would be really cute if asmo got really sentimental because he's being treated as a person instead of the avatar of lust
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Fluff!!! Getting your nails done and some shopping with Asmo!-
Ofc, ofc! There’s more then one way to spoil a demon~! and I’m mixing theses two asks a bit because yea- lots of shopping with Asmo & some teasing! Ignore any typos I’m dyslexic as fuck- sorry
First things, first going to get your nails done at one of Asmo’s favorite little nail salons!
They always treated you and Asmo like royalty (which you basically are in hell lol), getting matching sets of baby pink french tips for Asmo’s birthday!
The demon himself insisted on picking the style and color, something simple and cute!
Laughing and making small talk the whole time with the salon tech as she works and she even joins in on a few of Asmo’s party stories, telling you a few embarrassing tidbits about the demon as he blushes and tries to shush her “Don’t tell MC that!” “But you looked so cute with your head in a punch bowl! You blew up on devilgram if I remember right.” She stops to think for a moment, “Oh! That’s right! Top meme of 1820!! I still see a few of the old ones my nieces and nephews send me.” Asmo groans and would hide his face in his hands if she wasn’t in the middle of painting his nails. You raise one eyebrow and look over at him, “Top meme?” “Don’t!! I’ll show you pictures from that night where I actually look good but forget about that one!” “Alright, alright.” You’ll just have to ask Satan or Mammon about it later-
You and the nail tech giggle at Asmo’s protest and start talking about other stuff, a few of the models currently trending on devilgram, Asmo’s upcoming party and so on. Stuff the demon was more than happy to chat about, mixed with some gossip.
When your nails are done and you move to pay she stops you. “I can’t change you on his birthday. Besides, it’s been ages since I’ve seen him laugh so….” She trails off for a moment looking for the right word “Well, genuinely. You always bring out a special side of Asmodeus. I wish others could see more often.” it’s your turn to protest and you tell her you didn’t do anything special and he’d have a cow if he thought you’d gotten a discount/cheated her out of money and she laughs, “Don’t worry I’ll still give you the recipe. I just won’t take your money.” you try to convince her one more time, but as you start too, you feel arms wrap around your middle and a quick kiss on the cheek “Almost ready sweetie~?” Asmo had caught up and was ready to go-
The tech smiled again, and gave you one last wink. Handing you a fake receipt and telling you to have a good day and continue treating Asmo~!
————————————————————————
Next up taking him clothes shopping! Not that either of you needed new clothes but it’s his birthday and you want to spoil him! “Oh!!” Asmo squealed walking down the racks and racks of clothes and picking out outfit, after outfit. Some for him to try on and some for you~!
After picking out ten or twivlve outfit Asmo dragged you back to the fitting rooms and pushed you into the biggest one, following right behind “Oooh~ cozy.” Asmo giggles turning away and starting to strip and try on his first outfit, “Come on sweetie! No need to be shy it’s just you and me~” he teases seeing you haven’t moved from your corner yet. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about, Asmo.” Your own voice is light and teasing but, he looks at you dead serious for a moment, “I’m not going to try anything. I’m honestly having fun just hanging out with you~” and he turns back to his mirror and start, putting on his first outfit. You just stare at his back for a minute, before shaking your head as if to clear it and starting to try on your own outfit.
You try on all the outfits, a few are only Asmo’s style, sure you look cute but he’s the one who looks gorgeous. and a few are more your style! For every outfit he picked Asmo found a complimentary / matching one for you or him. Snapping a few selfies in the outfits he loved and giving a “Meh” face at the ones he didn’t. It was fun, Asmo had little compliments for all your outfits and everytime you tried to compliment him he’d giggle and give you a little kiss on the kiss or nose. Just small little drops of affection before trying on the next outfit. Eventually you had 3 outfits each and made you way out of the try on room and towards the counter to pay passing several more displays, you stop for a moment and grab two hats. They’re fairly plan looking baseball caps, but both have “Bad bitch” embroidered in pink across the front and the idea of getting Asmo to wear one makes you laugh.
Reaching the checkout counter a few steps behind him, you can’t exactly hide the hats from Asmo, and he raises one eyebrow in question, “Needed a hat?” you shake your head “No, but I wanted something to wear right away and I wanted to match with you.”
Asmo blushes but laughs, asking the cashier to leave the hats out of your bags and even puts yours on for you, then quickly putting on his own. “There! Now everyone will know we match.” and breaking into a fit of giggles.
————————————————————————
After paying for your new outfits and putying on your new hats it’s off to your next stop! But this time Asmo’s leading, half dragging you through the Devildom side streets until you get to some small shop that looks much smaller compared to the others. The little shop sign is crooked and a little faded.
You can’t imagine this being somewhere Asmo would shop. It’s so different then, the big stores like Majolish. “Ahh, Asmo? Is this the right place?” You ask as he reaches for the doorknob “Yes! We’re here just for you~” and he leads you inside.
It’s a quiet little shop with only one salesperson at a little corner absolutely full of cosmetics and empty makeup pallets. “Amaymon! We’re here for MC’s appointment!” Asmo chirps happily, still holding your hand and helping you into a seat at the counter, Amaymon gives you a small smile, looking over your face carefully. Almost as if he’s inspecting you, “Hello, MC. Asmodeus, told me you’ve been interested in makeup.” You nod, it’s true. You had asked Asmo if he could give you some pointers. But you didn’t expect to go to a different demon- “Good. Now don’t worry, I’m not going to give you classes or anything. No, I’ll leave all that to Asmodeus. I’m simply going to match your skin tone and create a makeup pallet with you and a few things Asmodeus told me about you.” “Oh. Is that all?” You ask, still a little confused. but Asmo’s still beaming next to you, so you feel safe. “That is all.” Amaymon says, before going completely quiet.
He grabs a few things here and there moving much faster then, you expected. He grabs small bottles of what look like concealer and foundation, although you don’t ask. Mixing them, occasionally looking over at you before going back to his work.
Asmo watches for awhile before looking around the little shop, he grabs a few new lipsticks off of a different counter and even calls you over to help him pick out some eyeshadow, “We can try all of that’s together when we get home! Now what we really need is a few dark reds or maybe a blueberry-ish shade…” Asmo looks at your face and grabs a few more things, explaining how the colors might look a little bright but he can tone them down or how they’ll bring out your eyes. He just seems so happy, getting to spend time with you and it makes you smile!-
A small cough interrupts your thoughts as, Amaymon has apparently finished. A rather large box is now sitting on the counter with your name written on a little note at the top “Oh, perfect!” Asmo claps his hands and tells Amaymon to add the other stuff you picked out to the total and add it to Asmo’s tap. Amaymon nods as he bags up the other items. “I hope you enjoy your new makeup MC. Don’t let Asmodeus go too overboard on your makeover.” Asmo laughs as he grabs your hand in his and the bags in the other “Amaymon! You know me~ I just can’t help myself.” you laugh and squeeze Asmo’s hand as you both leave the shop and head home.
That night Asmo does your makeup and after much whining and pouting convinces you to do his. It’s not the best, but you’re still learning!! His lipstick is a little smudged and the eyeliner is crooked, but Asmo loves it he takes so many pictures of both you and himself even posting them on devilgram with “Best birthday ever <3” in the caption.
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blueraineshadows · 11 months
Text
Brothers Part 11
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Garreth Weasley 🔺️ F!MC 🔺️Oscar Weasley
A love rivalry between two brothers. Oscar Weasley is an OC created by @eternalremorse and used with her permission.
Chapter Master List with Ao3 link
Chapter Eleven - Loss
The concept of being alone whilst surrounded by people was a new one for Oscar. It was isolating to feel so disconnected, and yet his friends were all around him, laughing, discussing the tactics they would be practising later on the Quidditch pitch after classes. The Great Hall was abuzz with chatter, and students were making a start on the day. And yet, Oscar sat, his breakfast untouched, his eyes drifting towards the Hufflepuff table. She wasn't there. Her absence was a reminder of what had happened last night.
He tried to smile, to shut off the ache that had formed in his chest that was akin to the cold, hard substance of a Bludger. The loss. Only, this Bludger he couldn't smash away with his bat. This one sat and festered, and he couldn't swallow past it without wanting to scream. Fists clenched he got up from the table, ignoring the looks from his teammates as he stalked from the Great Hall. Why bother trying to speak when he had nothing to say?
He had lost her. MC had walked away from him, and he just wanted her to come back.
....*....
On first entering the Great Hall that morning, Garreth's eyes had immediately landed on the Hufflepuff table only to face the realisation that MC was not there. Again. Did the girl never eat anymore? Sighing with his disappointment, he made his way to the Gryffindor table and took a seat next to Leander, dropping his journal down and grabbing several slices of toast.
"Morning, Lee," he greeted, stifling a yawn. "What are you up to today?"
Leander paused in spooning his porridge and smiled at Garreth. "Beasts, History of Magic and Quidditch practice. You? Party planning? I heard you were cooking up some brews."
Garreth smirked. "I'm meeting Seb later to work on them, actually."
Leander scowled. "You've got rather friendly with Sallow lately. What's that all about?"
"He's not that bad once you get to know him. He's been... helping me out. Plus, it means I get to spend more time with MC when I'm with him."
Leander huffed and glanced over his shoulder towards the Slytherin table where Sebastian and Poppy were huddled together, giggling and eating breakfast whilst trying to keep their hands respectable.
"He's got his paws all over Sweeting again," he huffed. "I'm surprised he has the time to hang around with you, or MC. Speaking of which, what's going on with MC lately? There's definitely something up with her and Oscar. She turned up at the common room last night looking a bit peaky. She asked for Oscar, and I don't think it went well, judging by the look on his face this morning."
Garreth frowned and looked up the table, Leander following his gaze as they took in Oscar's grim expression, his breakfast untouched. Leander was right. Oscar did not look happy. He gave Leander a curious glance. His fellow Gryffindor was usually up on the gossip. He didn't know how he did it, but Leander just seemed to discover and remember all sorts of tidbits about their peers.
"Did they fight?" Garreth asked, his stomach sinking as his thoughts flicked towards Trixie. Had she said something? Is that why MC was avoiding everyone?
Leander shrugged. "No idea, mate. Your brother isn't talking to anyone, but I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, look at him."
Garreth did look and felt a guilty sinking feeling in his stomach. He toyed with his slice of toast as he thought of all the times he had imagined Oscar not being with MC, and now that there were signs of trouble, he realised how awful that was. He didn't want his brother to be unhappy.
Oscar looked tired, pale, and very glum as he stood and left the table. Isaac called after him, but Oscar ignored his friend. Isaac and Felix, another Quidditch team member, exchanged a puzzled look, but nobody went after Oscar to see if he was alright.
Garreth dropped his toast onto his plate, lamenting the empty stomach he was going to have as he climbed from the bench. He grabbed up his journal and glanced towards Leander.
"I will catch up with you later, Lee," he said and plucked an apple from the bowl on the table. "Enjoy your breakfast."
He chased after Oscar, dodging other students whilst trying to keep his eyes on his brother's copper locks. He followed him out into the bright sunlight, the sky clear, and the air crisp as they crossed the courtyard.
"Oscar, wait!"
His brother paused and turned, a frown on his face before his shoulders slumped. Garreth slowed his steps, a little wary. Oscar was generally an easygoing boy, but there was a temper that simmered quietly beneath that charming exterior. He'd been on the receiving end of it more than a few times growing up. His ability to wind his siblings up had often landed him with a thump or a dunking in the rain barrel.
But Oscar was family. And family always stuck together, no matter what. They always made up in the end.
Garreth wondered if he was reminding himself of this because of a guilty conscience. If Trixie really had whispered her suspicions, then Oscar was going to be pissed at him. While he hadn't actually done anything wrong, his private fantasies that played out in his head were shamefully guilty.
"Are you alright, Oscar? You don't look too happy. Anything I can help you with?"
His questions were tentative, his fingers clutching at his journal as he eyed his brother. Oscar lifted an eyebrow, his mouth twisting bitterly. "You mean to say you haven't heard?"
Garreth frowned. "Heard what?"
Oscar gave him a closer look before looking away, his eyes betraying a glimmer of hurt.
"MC and I broke up."
Garreth's lips parted in surprise at those words, the flat, emotionless tone with which they were spoken worrying him more than anything. Oscar's face was tight, his body rigid. He was closing himself off, and Garreth reached for his arm, squeezing it gently.
"I'm sorry, Oscar. I didn't know," he said, his mouth twisting sadly.
Oscar's eyes narrowed a little. "You surprise me. Aren't you two close? You spend a lot of time with her Slytherin bodyguard, too. I bet he knows."
Garreth tugged at his robe sleeve awkwardly, not really liking the bitter tone to Oscar's voice. It didn't ease the worry that Trixie had been whispering in his ear. Also, Oscar was the second person to make a dig about his friendship with Sebastian this morning, and it was getting rather annoying.
"I haven't really spoken to MC much lately," he said, frowning. "She doesn't tell me everything, either. What happened?"
Oscar sighed and held out his hands as if he didn't really know. "She wanted out," he said vaguely.
Garreth hated the flicker of hope that sparked in his chest. MC had left Oscar. Was it so wrong and foolish to wonder if what happened in Hogsmeade was the reason? He had to shove the shameful hope down. His brother was clearly hurting. Now was not the time.
"I'm so sorry," he said. He grabbed Oscar, pulling him in for a quick hug, patting him awkwardly on the back with one hand, his journal in the other. "Let me know if there is anything I can do. Even if it's just to take your mind off things. I'm going off out foraging later if you fancy it. It would get you away from the castle for a bit."
Oscar pulled back away from him and pushed a hand through his hair, shaking his head.
"Thanks, Garreth, but I will pass. I've got Quidditch practise later, and to be honest, I am not good company right now."
"Okay," Garreth said, nodding, shifting awkwardly. He considered making a joke, coming up with something funny to try and lighten the mood. He wasn't so good with these situations, and he was never quite sure what to say. However, he thought perhaps a joke would earn him one of Oscar's bruising thumps, and so he kept his mouth shut.
Oscar managed a tight smile and patted him on the shoulder. "I appreciate the offer, though, brother. I will be alright. I just need some time. I really liked her, you know?"
Oh, he knew. Garreth completely understood. He had thought that liking MC from afar and seeing her with someone else was hard sometimes. He could only imagine how it would feel to have her and then lose her.
Oscar's gaze lingered on Garreth’s journal for a moment, his face shadowed and strained. He met Garreth’s eyes, the pain all too evident.
"I'll see you later, Garreth."
As he watched his brother walk away, his robe billowing in the cold breeze, Garreth couldn't help but feel as though he had done something wrong. It settled in his stomach, twisting around with his hunger, and it made a deep rumbling sound. He patted the apple in his pocket but couldn't seem to find the enthusiasm to eat it.
He wondered how MC was doing. Was she as sad as Oscar? If only she didn't hide away. A longing to see her tugged deeply at him. Even through his concern for Oscar, he still ached for her, that tiny flicker of hope hanging on strong.
Realising that his first class of the day was potions, his face brightened, and he hurried back into the castle.
....*....
Waking up and seeing Poppy’s bed still empty seemed to put emphasis on her loneliness as MC crawled out of bed. Her eyes were tight from tears and lack of sleep, her chest heavy. She was already doubting herself and her decision. Maybe she had rushed into it, her panic making her react.
People always left her in some way. Either being left in a children's home, making new friends only for them to move on to new places, or death. She'd had to learn how to be alone. And now that she had people to care about, it felt odd to push one away. Oscar had claimed to care deeply for her. Had she just made a silly mistake? Was she pushing him away to avoid the chance he would do it to her?
But, it was also wrong to be intimately close to someone whilst thinking of another. She could not get past it, no matter how hard she tried. The silly mistake had been allowing herself to fall for the charms of a handsome boy when there had been someone else there all along.
She took out the wooden box that held her letters, going over the ones she had received from Garreth over the summer. His words were not romantic. He had not sought to court her, but they were filled with so much warmth. It made her think of his arms when he had held her, his comfort through her moments of panic and distress. Without judgement or feeling like she was imposing, Garreth was there. He never asked for anything in return.
This was alongside his words spoken during a dance. Those words had been flirty and almost romantic. She could not forget those or the way he had looked at her.
At the bottom of one letter was a small ink drawing of a hummingbird dipping into a flower. He must have drawn it himself, and she smiled as she brushed a finger tip over the beautifully sketched lines. Such beautiful simplicity revealed so much about the boy.
She had made the right decision. As she tucked the letters safely away, her only regret was that even if she did feel something for Garreth, she could neither pursue or allow it. He was Oscar's brother. It wouldn't be right. It filled her with sadness, but she had to do the right thing. She carried enough guilt in her heart.
As she dressed and pondered the idea of breakfast, she realised that coming face to face with Oscar was something she would rather avoid. She had made the right decision, but seeing him would lean on her self-doubt. His eyes were too dangerous, his proximity overwhelming, and she needed to distance herself from that.
There was always fruit in a bowl in the common room, and she settled on an apple and a pear for breakfast before leaving the castle. A walk around the lake to clear her head was in order.
When it was time for class, she made her way back to the castle for potions. She would see Garreth, and she wondered if he knew about her and Oscar already. It was likely.
Outside the castle doors, she came across Sebastian and Poppy, stealing a kiss before heading to class. MC lowered her head, intending to pass them by, but Poppy called out to her. Her cheeks were flushed pink, her eyes dancing with happiness. It felt like a punch to the stomach, and MC couldn't look. She merely lifted a hand in a hurried wave and made a dash for the huge castle doors.
How awful to be jealous of her friend's joy, but there it was.
Avoiding Poppy was one thing. Avoiding Sebastian was another. As MC was about to walk into the potions classroom, a hand grabbed her arm, and Sebastian was leading her into the nearby stair well. With her back to the wall and his frame leaning over her, she looked up into curious brown eyes, his finger under her chin.
"What's happened?"
There was no getting anything past him. He had that stubborn look on his face. He wouldn't let it go until he had it out of her, and he was bound to find out soon enough anyway. She sighed, her shoulders slumping.
"Oscar and I have parted ways."
It was the first time she had said it. The words spoken out loud put a final seal on it, and her lips trembled. She tried to look away, but Sebastian held her firm, his eyes darkening at the shine of tears she fought back.
"What did he do?"
"Nothing!" She said immediately, taking hold of his hand and removing it from her chin. "Oscar didn't do anything. It... it was me. I ended it."
Sebastian had this way of looking at you, so penetrative and inquisitive. It locked you into his eyes, and it was very hard to look away. Ever since she had begun to know him, she had been caught under that spell, always unable to do anything but answer to his call.
Once, she had thought it love, and in a way, it was. They were bonded by terrible events and dark secrets, but also by affection and understanding. Nobody knew her like he did, and she suspected it worked both ways. She would do anything for him, and she had done some dubious things already to protect him. He would do it for her, though. She knew that and trusted him with her life.
Sebastian was her family now, a friend who was like a brother through choice rather than blood. She wasn't his lost sister, Anne. Nobody could replace his twin. But they were both orphans and alone in the world. She was glad to have found him.
The way he was looking at her right now was merely his own way of ensuring that nothing bad had happened. He was not a fan of Oscar, had tolerated her relationship with him because he thought it made her happy. Clearly, this was not the case, and Sebastian was in full protective mode.
"Oscar has done nothing untoward, Seb. I'm alright," she assured him. She caught hold of his hand and squeezed. "I just... it didn't feel right, and I thought it best to step away before I got in too deep."
"I can see that you are troubled, and I hate to see it, but as long as you are not hurt. That I can not abide, you know that."
Her gaze softened. "I know that. I am not hurt, just sad."
Sebastian considered her words and then nodded. He slipped his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest. His familiar scent really did feel like home, and she gripped the back of his robes, welcoming the push back on the lonely shadow that seemed to hang over her.
"You've done the right thing. Oscar wasn't right for you," Sebastian said, stepping back and patting her shoulder.
She almost smiled at the smug gleam in his eyes. He just loved being right. He took her arm and led her back out into the corridor and towards the potions classroom.
"Maybe now you can stop hiding away from the world and let us see that lovely smile of yours," he said, flashing a smile of his own. "We have party plans to take care of, and only a few days left to do it. Your other love deserves to celebrate coming of age in style."
"Sebastian... " She gave him a warning look. His comment about Garreth being her love a little too close for comfort after pondering over his letters this morning.
Sebastian merely smirked and escorted her through the classroom until they arrived at her workstation, complete with a smiling Garreth.
"Look who I found, Weasley. She hasn't forgotten us after all," Sebastian said, putting his arm around her shoulders for a squeeze. He winked at MC, and her lips twitched. He was too charming for his own good sometimes. He guided her towards the seat next to Garreth with a flourish. "She's all yours now, mate. Take good care of her. She deserves to smile."
MC gaped at Sebastian, her cheeks flushing as he backed up away from the workstation, his smirk unbelievably roguish. She'd hex him later for his audacity, knowing full well it was likely an empty promise, but it felt good to just imagine it for a moment. He knew exactly what he was doing and dared her to say something back with those impish eyes of his.
She turned to Garreth with an awkward glance, taking out her quill and notebook. She couldn't scold Sebastian here in front of Garreth. That could lead to other dangerous topics of discussion, such as the suggestion that she was all Garreth's now.
"Hi," she said, her cheeks far too hot and her awareness of him on full alert.
Garreth's smile lit the green of his eyes, and she felt the warmth of it. There it was. That unrelenting, soft warmth that only he had. Much like the sun, he chased lonely shadows back and surrounded you with light. How did one stay away from that?
"Hello, MC. It's good to see you. Let's see if I can do something about that smile of yours."
As they worked through the lesson, her shadows did indeed lift. They didn't completely disappear. They lingered over her shoulder, but it was easier to bear them with every funny quip, every clumsy mishap. Oscar was mentioned only once, Garreth's sympathetic smile and assurances of support were delivered, and then he moved on, turning the flow of conversation back towards much lighter subjects. It wasn't long before a smile was curving her lips, her gaze lingering maybe a little too long on green eyes and freckled hands.
As they packed up their belongings and prepared to leave class, MC caught Garreth on the arm, pausing his step. He met her eyes with a curious look, and her face softened.
Thank you," she said. "For cheering me up."
"I do my best," he said with a grin.
Sebastian sidled up between them, throwing an arm around each of them as they headed for the door, his smirk firmly in place.
"So then, what's the plan? We have party brews to make. Are you in, MC? We could use some help."
She looked at both boys, their effortless ways of making her feel like she belonged, almost bringing a tear to her eyes. "I'm in," she said. "What do you want me to do?"
"Well, we need ingredients," Garreth said. "I'm heading out after classes today to gather some."
"Excellent," Sebastian said, tightening his hold on them both and drawing them closer so they were a squished little trio walking along. "Why don't you go with him, MC? Meanwhile, I'm heading into Hogsmeade to have a chat with Sirona. I'm going to reserve the whole upper floor of the Three Broomsticks for the party."
MC met Garreth's eyes across Sebastian. Going with him would mean time spent alone. She should probably say no. It was placing temptation in her path, and so soon after Oscar. But, her head was nodding under the press of Sebastian's tight embrace. "Sure, I'll come along."
Garreth's eyes lit up, and Sebastian chuckled, his own gaze sparking with mischief as he glanced between them. He pressed a kiss to MC's forehead and then turned to do the same to Garreth. Garreth grimaced and tried to fight him off, a giggle bubbling up and out of MC's mouth as they stumbled in the hallway.
Sebastian let them both go with a laugh. He began to head off, turning to point at them both.
"Happy foraging you two, and don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Well, that narrows it down," MC said, rolling her eyes and desperately trying not to blush.
When she looked at Garreth, his cheeks were equally as pink.
"Looks like I will be seeing you later, then," he smiled. "Shall I come to fetch you from your common room when I'm ready?"
She nodded, clutching her bag a little tighter. "I'll see you then."
....*....
The chilly bite in the air meant nothing to Oscar as he swung his Beater bat and cracked it against a Bludger, sending it hurtling across the pitch towards Elijah. His teammate swooped and aimed, smashing the hard ball back towards Oscar. It was good practise to spar against each other, and today, it felt good to release the pent-up emotion that was festering inside him.
He grit his teeth and kept his eye on the Bludger, swinging back and hitting it with all his strength, an angry sound leaving his throat.
All day, through classes and navigating the castle, his eyes had been on alert for just one glimpse of MC. Anything, even if it was just from a distance. He had not spoken one word about it to anyone other than Garreth this morning.
Garreth. Soft, cheeky Garreth, with his romantic drawings, his eyes filled with longing whenever he looked at MC.
Oscar gritted his teeth harder, his head filling with every time he had seen his brother with MC. Garreth wanted her. He had always wanted her. Oscar had always known it, deep down. He recalled the first day of term, arriving in Hogsmeade, the way his brother had stood and watched her board the carriage with Sallow.
Had he deliberately gone after MC because he knew he could? He'd always been competitive, always had to be the best at everything. Had he charmed MC into his arms just so Garreth couldn't?
Maybe. Maybe not. Garreth could have charmed her, too. Maybe he would have won. Oscar had caught her attention, and then he had fallen in deeper than he had expected. MC was beautiful, soft, and so very innocent, but under that was a strength that she kept hidden. She intrigued him, and he had desperately wanted to delve deeper and discover what she so carefully guarded.
Now, he would likely never know. She had slipped from his grasp, and he hated it. Was there a way to try and get her back? How could he reassure her that he had eyes only for her?
The pain of it seemed to hollow out his chest, and he took it out on the Bludgers, working up a sweat that dripped from his forehead, his muscles screaming in protest.
"Easy there, mate. What's got into you?" Isaac said, coming up beside him. "You're running Elijah ragged there."
"Good, we need to be the best," Oscar said. He wiped his forehead and adjusted his grip on his bat. "No pain, no gain. Isn't that what the muggles say?"
Isaac made a stopping motion towards Elijah and used his wand to still the bludger. His piercing blue eyes took in Oscar, and he put a hand on his shoulder.
"What's going on, Os? You're not yourself. Is this about your little Hufflepuff still?"
Oscar's face tightened, and he shrugged off his friend's hand. "Stop calling her that. She isn't mine anymore."
Isaac held both hands up, eyes wary. "Okay, mate. I apologise. And I'm sorry to hear that."
"Are you?" Oscar grimaced. He tossed his bat to the ground and began to stride towards the changing rooms, Issac at his heels. "Last we spoke, you told me to get rid. Well, she saved me a job and ended it for me. I thought you'd be pleased."
"Why would I be pleased? Os... I don't want you to be unhappy," Isaac said. He made a grab for Oscar's arm, face filled with concern as they paused. "Hey, take it easy, mate. I really am sorry."
Oscar glared up at his friend, his anger and pain caught in a swirling ball in his chest, the words just not forming. He knew Isaac meant no harm. He knew it, but his head was clouded. He pulled his arm free and stalked away, shoulders set tight as he headed for the changing rooms. He was done with practise for today.
As he rounded the corner, he hesitated. A small group of girls were gathered near the door, charming little birds to fly around, their soft laughter filling the space. As they looked up towards him, he spotted the sultry gaze of Trixie, and he looked down. Normally, he would flirt, or at least wave, and smile, but he found he couldn't even look at her or any of the other regular girls who hung around the pitch.
Ignoring the girls, he entered the changing room. His habitual charm around the ladies had been a reason MC had pulled away from him. Was he really that untrustworthy? He'd never really looked at it that way before. All the girls that had come before MC hadn't been anything more than a bit of fun. A quick fumble under the stands, steamy kisses in broom cupboards, and late nights twisted in bed sheets.
Feelings had never really come into it, at least not for him, and he just moved on to the next chase. At least, that's what he had done until he met MC.
The feeling of being set aside was a new one, and he turned it over in his mind, considering for the first time that maybe he had made girls feel this way. It was a sobering thought as he pulled off his training gear and headed for the showers. Maybe he was an arsehole after all, not even stopping to consider that his actions might be hurting people. How many girls had he hurt and not even realised? It made him glum to think of it, hating the thought.
He stood under the hot water a while, letting it run over him in the hopes it might wash some of the tension away, but as he shut the water off and grabbed his towel, he realised it was going to take more than a cleansing to move on from this.
He dried off and wrapped the towel about his waist, walking with his head bowed towards the lockers. His thoughts were miles away, and so he was upon her before he even realised Trixie was there. He paused and stared at her sitting on the bench, her hands gripping the edge as she smiled up at him, her eyes soft for once.
She was truly a beautiful girl, her raven hair sleek and soft, her skin flawless and smooth. She knew she was attractive and used it to her advantage, but too often, the sly look in her eyes detracted from her natural beauty. There was a coldness to Trixie that had always made him keep her at arms length. They had shared some rather steamy encounters, but again, he had never looked for anything deeper.
She was always there, though, lingering. He looked into her eyes, the colour a light grey at the moment. She had the strange gift of her eye colour shifting depending on her mood. It had always fascinated him, especially when he had watched them darken with desire.
"Hello," she said. She tilted her head as she considered him, her eyes wandering over his bare chest, lips twitching up into a smirk as she stood. "Did you enjoy your shower? You were in there long enough. I almost came to find you."
"What are you doing here, Trix?" He sighed and moved past her, opening his locker and pulling out his school clothes.
"You don't look yourself, Oscar. I came to see if you're alright."
He stilled, hands on his clothes, his gaze facing into his locker. Suspicion crept over him. Since when did she do the sweet, caring act? He turned to look at her, but there was no calculating gleam in her eyes, just curiosity perhaps.
"I'm fine," he said, dropping his clothes onto the bench beside her. "What do you really want?"
She frowned. "I mean it. I can tell something is upsetting you."
"And you care because...?" He gave her a wry look as he shrugged on his shirt and began to fasten his buttons.
Her chin lifted slightly and she folded her arms. "It's her, isn't it? The little hero. What did she do?"
Oscar shook his head, his jaw tightening. "I'm not in the mood for one of your little games, Trixie. Go on, get yourself out of here so I can get dressed in peace."
"I was right about her, wasn't I? She isn't right for you. She brushed you off and denied you, didn't she? Uptight, little virgin who thinks she is so fucking perfect..."
He saw red. Ever since last night, the pressure had been building, and it finally snapped. He reached out and grabbed Trixie, his hand circling her throat as he slammed her against the lockers with a thud. Trixie didn't even yelp. She merely widened her eyes, her throat working hard against his tight grip. She didn't even attempt to fight him off. She had nerves of bloody iron.
Oscar glared at her, holding her in place, rage seething through him. His fingers didn't squeeze, but it felt strangely powerful and heady to hold her by the throat like this. He shoved the thought aside, not ready to glimpse into that box of ideas and study the implications.
"Shut your mouth," he said coldly. "You don't know anything about what happened between myself and MC, and I won't hear you speak about her that way."
Trixie gripped her hand about his wrist, gulping a little as she adjusted her head, but he didn't let go. Her eyes darkened to almost black, and she smirked.
"My, my. You've got feelings for her, haven't you? Real feelings."
He let her go as if she burned him, turning his back on those probing eyes. "Get out, Trixie."
"You love her," she said, a soft, surprised laugh leaving her lips. "That is a shame, isn't it? Oscar Weasley finally falls for a girl, and she is in love with someone else."
Oscar froze, his back stiffening as he turned his head a little. He could see Trixie in his periphery, stalking like a sleek, black cat. "What?"
"Dont tell me you haven't noticed," she purred. She leaned closer, the soft scent of herbs and incense emanating from her. "Your little hero loves your brother, does she not? They have such chemistry, and as for the way they look at each other... well."
Oscar turned to face her, his own suspicions coming back to him, sliding thickly through his gut with his envy. "What are you talking about?"
Trixie's eyes shifted into a greyish, blue colour, a sad pout on her lips as she touched gentle fingers to his face.
"I'm almost sorry I was right about her, Oscar. She wasn't the best choice for you. She will never be able to give you what you want, especially when she wants Garreth. I always wondered why he kept turning me down. That never happens. It was because of her. I'd bet my last Galleon on it."
Trixie let her hand drop, and she backed up away from him, her eyes still on him, mouth in a little pout. He swallowed, fought against his anger and the pain that twisted sharply in his chest. It would be easy to take that ache out on her, push it until they argued... or fucked.
He shook his head. No. He was done with all that. He needed to change, to try and be better.
"You don't look surprised, sweetheart. You knew all along, didn't you?"
His jaw tightened and he glared at her. "Get out, Trixie. We're done here."
Her lips twisted up into a knowing smile as she backed up further. "Don't be sad for too long, Oscar. She won't be. Trust me."
Oscar gripped his trousers until his knuckles turned white, watching as Trixie strolled out of the changing room without a glance back.
Was she right? Would MC be already moving on? Was he here wallowing in his sadness and pain while she was already thinking of the next path? Just like he had done with all the other girls before her. He sat down on the bench and held his face in his hands. Was this some kind of strange karma?
What would he do if MC and Garreth finally ended up in each other's arms? He'd had his suspicions, and now Trixie had voiced them, perhaps others had noticed too. How had she come to that realisation? What had she seen? He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He was already tormented by the drawings in Garreth's journal that he wasn't supposed to know about. Garreth definitely had feelings for her, and if MC returned them, would he be able to stand it.
His own brother. He felt the sting of tears, and he let them fall.
....*....
The cold seeped through Garreth's layers of clothing and the gloom of the Forbidden Forest felt heavier than usual this afternoon as they made their way along the trail. MC walked just ahead of him, her long hair loose about her shoulders, and a woolly hat pulled low on her head. Like him, she wore a winter coat, the hem reaching the tops of her long boots. Her scarf was of a lovely deep blue, very different from the Gryffindor scarf she had worn for Oscar.
The colour suited her, it complimented her colouring, and he told himself his appreciation of it had nothing to do with the fact that it wasn't Oscar's.
They were making their way under the canopy of trees in companionable silence, their bags already rather full of various potion supplies gathered. The conversation had mainly stuck to the tasks at hand so far, or schoolwork, and Garreth had tried to tempt another smile out of her like he had in potions this morning, but the strained look remained around her eyes. She seemed guarded, on edge, and he watched her carefully.
They came to a clearing and paused. Around the space were discarded items that seemed to show signs of a poacher camp. Garreth’s hand twitched near his wand, his eyes scanning warily as he remembered the last time they had come across enemies under the trees. His duelling practise with Sebastian added a new layer of confidence as he joined MC near a pile of empty cages.
"Whatever they had captured is long gone now," she said, leaning forward to test a cage door to find it unlocked. She glanced around. "I wonder what made them abandon the camp like this."
"Spiders? Maybe even a troll, although there isn't really any damage," he said, moving towards some empty barrels.
"Hmm, it could have been Aurors, I suppose," she said thoughtfully. "One can only hope."
He eyed her a moment, noting the cool determination on her face as she spoke. "Is that something you have thought of doing yourself? I mean, you are more than capable, I'm sure."
With those terrifying abilities of hers, he could imagine her making a rather successful Auror. Although, the thought of her out in the world fighting against the world's darkest wizardkind made him shiver.
"Me? An Auror?" She scoffed. She shook her head. "No, definitely not. I've had my fill of fighting dark wizards, enough to last a lifetime."
"Does that mean you have put some thought into what happens once you leave Hogwarts after all?"
As he came to stand before her, she looked up at him, her lovely eyes looking large and lost in her pale face. When they had spoken of this before, she hadn't been sure what she had wanted.
She fixed him with a long look, sadness clouding her eyes briefly before she shrugged.
"I know I don't want to be held up as some kind of hero or have my life on display for all to see."
"Is this because of the photo in the Prophet?"
That particular image of Oscar kissing her had been passed around and giggled over, lads slapping Oscar on the back as if he had done something marvellous in snogging the Hero of Hogwarts. He knew the image had bothered her, her snap comments about it, and Sebastian's word of warning not to bring it up, eluding as to why she was avoiding people.
MC nodded and sighed. "That article dragged out every awful memory of fifth year, and Oscar just didn't seem to understand..."
She trailed off, her eyes skipping away as she lowered her head.
"It's okay. You can talk about him, MC. It might even help. I know he is my brother, but I am also your friend. I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."
Her eyes were heavy and shining with unshed tears when she looked up at him. He stepped forward, his arms ready to hold her, but then she spoke.
"I don't want to come between you, Garreth. That's not fair. He is your brother."
He paused and let his hands drop to his sides. Now, that was a loaded statement. He felt his stomach sink, knowing that it made sense, but at the same time wishing that things could be different. Did she just mean about the talking? Or did she mean the as yet unspoken thing, whatever it was, between them?
That day in Hogsmeade had to have meant something, surely. Or was he just reading too much into it, filled with too much hope, perhaps?
"You won't come between us, MC. He's a pain in the bum sometimes, but he is my big brother. We always figure things out," he said. He risked another step forward. "He knows we are friends. He can't begrudge us that. And anyway, I'm not going to stop being here for you just because he was fool enough to lose you."
"Garreth, he isn't a fool," she said, shaking her head. "We just wouldn't have worked. Oscar has his future mapped out already, and that's great. It's just not for me."
"What is for you?"
"I... I don't know. A proper home, I guess. I've never really had one," she said. She looked so lost and uncertain, eyes looking everywhere but at him. She wrapped her arms about herself, a flash of vulnerability crossing her face. "The whole thing is so daunting to think about. I'm not sure I know what I want yet, if I am really honest."
He offered her a small smile. "Well, a home is a good place to start. You still have time to figure out all the rest."
She nodded, and he ached to hold her, but he worried that she would push him back if he tried. He clenched his hands into fists to stop himself and turned to look around the clearing again, moving away from her to look over some broken crates, sacks that were soaking wet and beginning to mould. He kicked at a stone, and it bounced across the clearing, rolling to a stop near a clump of bushes. As his eyes followed it, he noticed a shifting shadow through the leaves, and he stilled, squinting through the darkness in an effort to see better.
The shadow shifted again, and he reached into his pocket, fingers curling around his wand, his heart picking up. Was it a poacher? Or perhaps one of the huge spiders that loitered under these dark trees.
"What is it?" MC asked, moving up behind him, her voice low.
He held up his hand to quieten her, his eyes still trained on the bushes. A shape appeared, forming out of the gloom and low, swirling mist. It didn't seem to be the shape of a person, taller and almost wraith like, the beast stepped out from behind the foliage and into the clearing. It appeared to be sniffing around where the stone Garreth had kicked rolled to a stop.
Garreth sucked in a harsh breath, his eyes widening in shock as he took in the horse-like shape. Its skin was black and leathery looking, and it clung tightly to the skeletal bones of its frame. His mouth hung open at the sight.
"Bloody hell..." His voice was a strained whisper as he stared.
MC shifted behind him. He could feel her presence as a warm beacon in the chill air, goosebumps pricking his skin.
"Oh, it's a Thestral," she said, touching a hand to his arm to gently lower it. His eyes flicked down to realise he had been aiming his wand at the beast, his palm sweating around the wood. "It's okay. They won't hurt you. They're actually quite gentle beasts, despite their reputation."
"I... I've never... " He shook his head, still awestruck by what he was seeing. "I've only ever seen drawings of them."
MC frowned up at him. "Really? You've never seen the ones at school?"
He met her eyes and shook his head. They had Thestrals at Hogwarts? He'd never seen one! But then he'd never seen death before, so why would he? He froze.
"I hadn't seen death..."
They stared at each other, wide-eyed. Realisation dawned on her face, and she brought her gloved hands to her lips. "Oh, Garreth. I'm so sorry. It's because of me. That's how you can see them now, because of what I did!"
He saw the horrible realisation in her eyes, eyes that began to well up again, and he immediately took hold of her arms.
"Don't you dare, MC. Don't be upset about this," he said firmly.
"But, it's my fault. I forced you to witness death, and in the most awful way," she said, a tear escaping to slide down her cheek. She swiped at it, her face scrunching up in frustration. "And people call me a hero. I'm not. I'm a killer, I've hurt people, I've done things..."
She clamped her hand over her mouth and tried to turn away, but he wouldn't let her. He held her firmly. He felt the cool slide of fear slither down his spine as he wondered how that sentence would have ended. What things had she done? He tried not to think about it. He couldn't imagine thinking of her in any other way than the soft and generous girl she was. He'd seen her power, witnessed death at her hands, but he got past that. He still looked at her like she was the only girl in the world who could make his heart thump with fire.
"Look at me," he said, gripping her arms. "Okay, so you've done some bad things, but you've also done lots of good things. You help so many people with little favours. You support Poppy through all the trouble with her parents, and no matter what really happened under Hogwarts that night, you did stop Ranrok. You did save people, and nobody can take that away from you."
She looked up at him, tears escaping faster now, her lips trembling. His heart ached, knowing she carried so much dark within her, and struggled with it, but she was also so full of light. If only she could see what he could see.
"You saved me too, you know. That day in the forest. If you hadn't brought down those poachers, I could be dead right now. Dead and gone, and not able to see a real-life Thestral in the flesh. Don't be sorry, MC. I mean, look at them! As sad as the reason is for seeing them, look how amazing they are!"
They both turned to look at the Thestral as it wandered a little further into the clearing. Garreth really was in awe of it, his eyes absorbing every little detail and storing it away so that he could sketch it out later in his journal. He had spoken the truth. They were magnificent looking creatures, so unique and special. Much like the girl beside him right now. He looked back at her with a smile.
"I don't deserve you, Garreth Weasley," she said softly.
"Don't be daft," he said, pulling her against his chest. He cupped her head and held her there, his fingers stroking against her woolly hat. "I mean, sure, I'm a bloody delight, but you, my dear. You are something else. It will take a whole lot more than a Thestral to put me off, believe me."
She was tense to start with, stiffening up as he held her against him, but he refused to let go. He had the feeling she needed to be held more than she would ever admit, and besides, she was lovely and warm, and it was freezing out here.
Gradually, though, she began to relax. His hand stroked her head, and his other hand caressed her back, rubbing up and down in long strokes against the rough wool of her coat. He wanted her to feel safe. He wanted to be the one to give her that.
She snuggled in closer as they watched the Thestral, and he thought that it was maybe one of his favourite moments with her.
Until that point, anyway.
To be continued...
Below is a bonus image of Trixie McNair, my own Slytherin OC, and a regular bad girl. Her image was created by Midjourney AI.
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39 notes · View notes
alj4890 · 2 months
Note
I got this from this incorrect quote generator. I need you to do something with this! lol
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😂 I'm still dying with all those you shared. I'm adding that other you sent me with this one
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I'm setting this at the time these two were keeping their relationship a secret from everyone except his two closest friends. And I have no idea how this ended up the way it did. Nothing at all like I had planned 😂
Masterlist
Admittance
(Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart One Shot
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It felt like a never ending work week. Chris couldn't remember the last time she slept for longer than a couple of hours at a stretch. With the mad rush of flu patients coming in and out of the E.R., she'd begun to daydream of spending her entire time off in her bedroom, curtains closed, and having the best sleep of her life.
She collapsed upon her soft bed after a particularly grueling shift, only moving when she heard the ringtone she'd chosen for her favorite doctor.
"Lo?" She managed to get out.
"I don't even rate a full hello?" Tobias teased.
"You're lucky to get that." She mumbled. "I think I barely acknowledged Jackie when I walked past her earlier."
She didn't have the energy to muffle her yawn.
"I don't think I've ever been this tired."
"I take it our date tonight is off?" He asked, already disappointed at the fact he wouldn't get to see her.
Chris sat up with a groan. "It can't already be Thursday!"
"It is.
"Damnit." She slumped back against her headboard. "I was looking forward to tonight."
"I was too." Tobias sighed. "Want me to sneak over and at least bring you dinner?"
Chris perked up at that offer. "You don't have to sneak. Aurora is already in bed and the others are working the night shift."
"Then I'll see you soon." He promised.
Chris looked down at her tank top and pajama bottoms. The thought of taking them off seemed too horrible to contemplate.
"Do you mind if I don't dress up? I just got out of the shower and put on some pajamas. I think it might kill me to change clothes."
"You know I don't care." He reminded her.
Her smile grew bigger when she heard the flirty lilt to his deep voice.
"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you in pajamas before. I think it's about time I got a peek at your bedroom too."
"I suppose it is only fair." Chris teased. "After all, you are a very gracious host whenever I want to see your bedroom."
"I aim to please." He responded. "And you know if you feel the need to relax without those pj's, I certainly won't complain."
She burst out laughing. "Nice try, Dr. Carrick. Right now, you'll be lucky if I have enough energy to answer the door when you knock."
"Take a nap." Tobias ordered. "I'll call when I'm at the door."
***************
A little over an hour later, Chris roused herself from her bed and padded down the hallway.
"Hey." Tobias whispered, once she opened the door.
She smiled sleepily into his kiss and leaned a little more against him when he wrapped his arms around her.
"You know, you could have told me to wait until tomorrow to see you." He reminded her.
"But I didn't want to wait." She snuggled within his arms. "This is what kept me going this week."
Her eyes flew open when he picked her up bridal style.
"Tobias!" She hissed. "Put me down!"
"Shut the door." He whispered, cuddling her close.
Dropping her head back with a groan, she quietly shut the door.
"Now?" He pressed his lips to her neck. "Where's your room?"
"Last door on the left." She bit back a moan when he kissed a path up to her ear.
She looped her arms around his neck as he carried her down the hall.
Once inside, he set her down on her bed, pressed another deep kiss to her lips, then shut her bedroom door.
"Now." He held up a bag of Chinese takeout. "Let's eat."
Chris smoothed her blankets and retrieved a towel to set the food on.
"Not bad." Tobias looked around her room. "Now I know the setting to put you in when I fantasize about you."
"You still fantasize about me?" She couldn't stop smiling over that tidbit.
He took his shoes and jacket off before sliding under the covers with her.
His eyes raked over her, taking in how her tank top hugged her curves.
"You bet I do."
"Hi." He winked at her.
"Hi." She kissed him.
Tobias wrapped one of her curls around his fingers, pulling her closer for a longer kiss.
"We don't have to eat, if you'd rather properly christen my first time here in your bedroom."
Chris playfully pushed him then reached for one of the takeout containers.
"If I'm going to do anything remotely sexy, I need food."
"Heaven help me if you get any sexier."
"Oof. You're not giving me much of a chance to resist you."
"I never do." He reached for one of the boxes of Kung Pao chicken. "I hate to admit it, but I've always been irresistible."
Chris hummed her agreement as she ate.
"When I was young," he continued, "I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it."
Rolling her eyes, she reached for her drink.
"Chris?" Tobias eyed her. "Are you jealous?"
"You're kinda proud of it." She took a sip. "You work it into a lot of conversations."
Her tone caught him off guard.
"No." She grumbled. "What do I have to be jealous about?"
"Nothing." He scooted closer to her. "You know you don't have anything to be jealous of when it comes to my past."
"It isn't jealousy!" She snapped. "I could care less about all your women."
"Former women." He emphasized.
She rolled her eyes again with a huff.
"Honestly it isn't them or the number of," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "former women."
"Then why do you sound upset?" He persisted.
"For one thing, I'm exhausted." She folded her arms across her chest.
Tobias got up, and began to pace the small confines of her room. He knew by her waspish tone and that arm folding maneuver that she was precariously close to losing that temper of hers.
"Look," he began in an attempt to avoid a fight, "I would have understood if you wanted to cancel our date so that you could sleep. I think I'm pretty good at that boyfriend type behavior."
"Awwwww." Chris sarcastically responded. "Aren't you so bloody precious?"
Tobias glared at her.
"What's this really about?" He demanded.
"The fact that you always say, trail of broken hearts!" She griped. "As if, not only are you proud of it, but also that..."
She trailed off when tears began to fill her eyes at the thought of what he might really mean.
"But also what?" He prodded in a gentler tone when he noticed she was about to cry.
"But also like it's a warning," she bit down on her bottom lip, "to me."
She looked away when he sat down beside her once more.
"It's not a warning." He tried to pull her into his arms. "Especially not to you."
Chris refused to budge.
"Right." She bit out. "Because I'm so special."
"You are." He insisted. "To me you are."
He gave up when she turned away from him. He flopped back on her pillows and tried to think of a way to salvage their evening. Rubbing his hands over his face he released an aggravated groan.
"Did I or did I not admit to being in love with you?" He bit out.
"You did."
"Then there you go!" He threw his hands up as if that solved everything.
"What are you talking about?" Chris turned towards him.
"You are the only woman I've admitted that to. The only one I felt like saying that to. The only one I've ever fallen in love with." He explained. "So me joking about all my one night stands doesn't matter."
He rolled on his side to face her.
"Because you, Christy Valentine, won't be broken hearted. I'm the one who would be devastated if I manage to screw us up."
"There you go again!" She growled.
Before he had a chance to respond, her lips crashed down on his.
He moaned as she pushed him on his back and straddled him without breaking the kiss.
"Shame on you." She slowly shook her head. "Won't even let me eat before seducing me."
He didn't bother to hide his smug smile.
"I'm sorry." His hands drifted over her body. "Any chance I can make it up to you?"
"I don't know." She reached over and set the food containers on one of her nightstands then slid back down on top of him. "I suppose you could try."
His lips curved even more as he slipped her shirt off.
"I'll give it my all." He promised.
*****************
The next afternoon...
"About time you two showed up." Dean greeted. "I was about to call and see what the holdup was."
"And I was about to ignore all good manners and eat without you." Will hugged Chris.
"Sorry we're late. I was doing things." Tobias responded.
"Hi. I'm things." Chris hugged Dean next.
Dean and Will snickered as Tobias covered his face. He couldn't hold back his own laughter over Chris's boldness.
"Good to know you two weren't doing something boring and holding up lunch." Will teased.
"I can forgive and commend doing those types of things." Dean winked at Chris. "A simple text of I can't get out of bed, go on without me would have sufficed."
"Not that we're opposed to details." Will added.
"I'll try and remember that." Tobias reached for his glass of water.
His hand settled over the one Chris had set on his leg.
She smiled at him, squeezing his thigh gently.
Unable to resist how adorably unrepentant she looked for outing their activities to his friends, he leaned over and kissed her.
"I said, details." Will teased. "Not demonstrations."
Dean threw his napkin at them when the kiss continued.
"Enough!" He couldn't stop chuckling at the two entwined. "Remember there's those of us who are still painfully single sitting here."
The couple broke apart and shared a tender smile.
"I'm starving." Chris admitted while picking up her menu.
Will and Dean noticed Tobias looking awfully proud at that statement as he settled his arm along the back of her chair to pull her closer to his side.
Deciding to let that one go by without comment, the friends discussed what appetizers to share with the couple.
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xelasrecords · 2 years
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Jumin & MC Language Disparity: Aegyo Edition!
Excuse me while I cry trying to explain this with my limited Korean vocabulary. Google translate did NOT help. Apparently it doesn't understand aegyo.
Remember this honey bunny tidbit from Jumin's day 11 chatroom? I've always found it odd due to how random it is, so I went to see what goes on in the Korean chat and turns out Jumin and you are having a full-blown baby-talk session!
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Let me present you the literal translation for the Korean counterpart:
MC: woori jyagi wajjyeong? (is our honey here?) Han Jumin: wajjyeo? (here?) Han Jumin: ah... Han Jumin: geureon uimigun (so that's what it means) Zen: mwoya...;; (what the...;;) Han Jumin: wajjiyeom (your honey is here)
This is where it gets interesting. In Korean, baby-talking is called aegyo and is often deemed cute (or cringe depending on your taste). When you talk in aegyo, you add an extra sound of -m or -ng at the end of your word, like calling your older boyfriend 오빠 (oppa) as 오빵 (oppang). You can also modify them, like turning 자기 (jagi) to 쟈기 (jyagi). Aegyo is usually spoken in a high-pitched voice and aided with cutesy gestures. It's something you do for fun with your friends, significant others or people you feel comfortable with.
Now, we all know Jumin is a no-nonsense person who's not well-versed in modern culture, albeit he has shown interest in it. The closest comparison to him practicing aegyo would be talking like Yoosung—Yoosung uses a lot of aegyo either when he's whining or happy, and honestly he's adorable for it.
Click here to watch the example of aegyo. If you skip to 0:51 you can see how woori jyagi is spoken in real life.
THE EXPLANATION
In the chat above, you start the conversation by aegyo-fying your question of whether Jumin has come to the chatroom. The normal way of asking it would be 주민씨 왔어요? (jumin-ssi wasseoyo?)
There are multiple layers to this. First, the usage of woori jyagi, which directly translates to our honey indicates affectionate possession. You can say 내 자기 (nae jagi) to mean my honey, but for the sake of aegyo, woori is used and jagi is turned to jyagi, as per the example before.
Second, you turn 왔어요 (wasseoyo) to 와쪙 (wajjyeong), which Jumin repeats out of confusion. When he catches on, he verbalises his realisation in his usual speaking style, but Zen is already like "what the heck?" because the mere sight of Jumin mimicking baby-talk is freaking him out LOL.
Then as the grand finale bam bam, Jumin plays along by answering you with 와찌염 (wajjiyeom) instead of 왔어 (wasseo).* From the context, you can glean that he refers to himself in third person, which is what acting cute is all about.
*If you're wondering about the difference between -jjyeong and -jjiyeom, it's because the former is phrased as a question while the latter is an answer.
This whole exchange is very funny that I cracked up the first time I read it. I couldn't believe Jumin would actually say that.
So yeah, you just baby-talked to him and he did it back. Now imagine Jumin doing aegyo in that deep voice of his, complete with a poker face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. Can you? Because I so can and therefore need a live demonstration ASAP to confirm my imagination.
BONUS
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Zen makes a barfing noise. He says eu-weg.
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amethystina · 8 months
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I was casually rereading whtd, as one does, and reading the comments (because i love the extra insight you give about the information that we're limited to in Ga On's pov) when i stumbled upon this comment: "… sort everything out? (and no one dies along the way, hopefully) He'll be very happy for them." about lawyer Ko and that in combination with the "minor character death tag" has made me Extremele worried about him. (plus you have also said that the kidnapping tag is not the one we should be worried about!!) I know you probably can't say anything about this because of spoilers, but know that it has been noted!!
Also kind of want a scene wherein lawyer Ko, Yo Han and Ga On are all together. Their dynamic would be so exquisite!! (obviously no pressure to actually write this, just a thought)
Anyway, whtd remains so good even after already having read and reread it in its entirety at least 5 times (and some scenes/chapters much more than that) (my ao3 history says i've visited whtd 200 times… so uh. yeah. i'm normal). I love slow burn so much (to the point where most romance book leave me disappointed bc they MCs get together like 100 pages in), i just love reading/watching the build up of a relationship and you write it so well!
I guess i just wanted to thank you for writing! I hope you're doing well <3
I'm usually very careful not to spoil what's going to happen in future chapters but I'll make an exception this time and flat-out say that you don't have to worry — Lawyer Ko is not going to die. I would literally never forgive myself if I killed him xD Not to mention that you all would probably come for my head if I did. He's just too amazing to be killed off!
So, rest assured, he's not going to die :)
And there will be at least one scene with Ga On, Yo Han, and Lawyer Ko in the same room unless my plans change dramatically. Which they rarely do, but "rarely" isn't the same as "never" so we'll see. Truth be told, though, I'll probably try really hard to keep it because I totally agree — the dynamic would be SPECTACULAR. So yeah. Stay tuned for that, I guess? ;)
You've definitely read Who Holds the Devil more times than I have x'D At least in its entirety. I mean, I reread the chapters at least twice (often three or four times) but I rarely start from the beginning and read it all the way through. I did at the end of my long break last year to get back into the swing of it, but it's difficult to find the time for that since I always have to focus on the next chapter. Which is a bit stressful at times, I will admit, since it puts more pressure on me to remember things at the top of my head (or at least know where to look if I want to check any details) but I'm lucky enough to be blessed with a really good memory, so that helps.
Anyway, I'm so glad you're enjoying it 💜 I honestly didn't plan for the slow burn to be quite this slow when I started the fic, but I can't say I have any regrets. Much like you, I just enjoy it too much ;) There's something so incredibly satisfying about delving this deep into Ga On and Yo Han's feelings and slowly developing relationship. And I guess that's also why I can't help throwing out tidbits of information in the comments, since there's usually so, so much happening within this story that you readers don't see (especially within Yo Han's head).
And I'm still not sure how to handle the knowledge that some people read the comments specifically to find those tidbits. Like, I don't mind you doing so! Go right ahead! They're public and all that. But it kind of blows my mind that some of you are so interested in what I'm writing that you'll do that. It feels a bit surreal to me, but in a good way? Like I'm an ACTUAL writer or something xD
Anyway, thank you so much for this kind and supportive message 💜 I definitely needed it right now because things honestly aren't all that great. Partly because of overall exhaustion and restlessness — mostly due to work — but even more so since it's now been a month since I posted a chapter and the requests for me to please update soon are starting to come in. I swear, it happens like clockwork every time I don't post within a month. And, what makes it worse, is that it's often from people I don't see comments from when I actually DO upload more frequently. As in, they don't comment on the fic itself, only when they think I don't update fast enough. Which is pretty disheartening, not going to lie.
Tragically enough, once the month mark passes, I have to start bracing myself whenever I get a comment or ask because there's now a 50/50 chance that it'll be someone asking me to update soon. They usually try to be nice about it, but it kind of always fails.
So, again, thank you for this. Because while I know that I should take my time and update on my own schedule, it's not always easy to remember that when people start asking me why it's taking so long. This was a nice change of pace and I'm very grateful for your kindness. Thank you 💜
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hime-bee · 6 months
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hi bee! how are you doing? i've been so busy lately that i hadn't had the time to hallucinate about my fictional meows meows 😭 i feel like it's the same case for everyone else too somehow aahh @__@ but anyway....
i actually had this on the back of my mind for quite awhile now but i haven't been able to actually send an ask about it bc i was unsure on how to word it, but how does luc usually open himself up to mc (?) or maybe share something about his past is more fitting of a sentence?? (sorry my english is bad AAA)
i remember him dropping his lore under the pretense of a bedtime story and i thought it'd be funny if one day mc just realizes that all of the stories they'd heard from lucas were actually just tidbits of his past 😂
No worries at all, Lacie, I completely understand! I hope you've been well and you haven't been working yourself too hard 😌
Addressing the ask portion: I think everyone that has played Insomnia's Window by now could tell that Lucas' bedtime story about the duck is actually about him (he's not super subtle LOL) Of course, there's some parts that he left out or glossed over to make it more appealing to MC as a bedtime story and not him just trauma dumping 😂 Lucas is a pretty straightforward man, and he values connections and emotions. He isn't the type to keep everything to himself, but he also isn't one to divulge too much at once. He would open up to his partner gradually, answering any questions they have about him or his past. He's not ashamed nor trying to hide anything, especially from his partner, so he wouldn't mind!
Now, if his partner enjoyed his bedtime stories, then he would continue telling them 😊 💖 (Also, your English is perfect so don't even worry!!)
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sophiie2000 · 2 years
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It's just my own personal ramblings, but...
One of my favourite things about some of the MCs in voltage's stories is they have little things that they love so much that seem irrelevant, but just add something to the stories.
Like how in Oops I Said Yes, the MC loves cherry tomatoes. And while that seems like a random tidbit of information, it adds something to the story, like when the LI notices her love of cherry tomatoes. Remember when Ukyo notices her love of cherry tomatoes and so cooks with them just to make her happy and see her childlike expression when her favourite food is in front of her.
Or in Masquerade Kiss, the MC's love of Lady Borden ice cream and Tom Cruise. These seemingly random items that were added into the story add so much and in different ways in each of the different stories. The ice cream, for example, is her go-to when she's stressed, happy, sad, wanting to relax. It was the item that brought her closer to Kazuomi in his Season 1 when he discovered her with a tub at the resort and became a love they shared in his later seasons. Or you have her love of Tom Cruise and the LIs jealousy when rivalling her love of Tom and his Mission Impossible films. It allows to see a different depth or side to the characters.
Then you have Irresistable Mistakes MC's pet cat. Every home scene, this cat became a focal point of the stories. It's protectiveness of the MC, its seemingly disliking and rivalries with the LI... it is random, but just added something to that story. Maybe, in this case, comical, but still add something. Sure, it's humorous, but also, there's something satisfying and fulfilling watching the LI try and win over this cat while pursuing the MC.
There are so many you could mention, but these are just a few of the ones I enjoyed.
You also have the opposite side too, the LIs having their own little quirks or hobbies that make them more loveable or creates something deeper to explore in their character...
Yuzuru Shiba in MK for example, his love for tinkering with mechanics and the like... or Kuranosuke Kiba in OISY love for desserts. Random interests or likes, that add a different depth to their character.
And I don't know. It just seems so wholesome that one small, tiny tidbit of information. Something that can see so irrelevant or random when it is first mentioned can add something so much more to a story. It's enough, in some stories, to make you love a character more.
And I just love it.
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mid-mid12 · 10 months
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middy here usually rambles about her daily going ons now on twitter but since i'm back on tumblr rq i figured i'd ramble here too! theyr'e about the same as on twitter if you find me tho so <3 I've recently finished up Even if Tempest: Dawning Connections and firstly let me say i LOVE LOVE love Love the way this whole cast is Together. Usually I haven't seen many good interactions between the LIs without the MC being there but the chemistry and backstory relationships between these four LIs really got my heart going. And also my writing hands going b/c lemme tell you I fell IN LOVE with the bar trio of Crius/Tyril/Zenn . [below line contains spoilers for EiT and it's FD]
Firstly the fact that in the very Very beginning of EiT you get this inkling that Zenn knows of Tyril based on how they interacted within that castle scene? Then after Anastasia's first Fatal Rewind you go on to find out that Zenn changed from government to a local town detective ? Did you know there was an official little short story posted up on the japanese product page for EiT that was basically a miniature 'what-if' scenario if Anastasia had never used her fatal rewind and just died there?? For Zenn's, he still ends up establishing something of a friendship with Crius and Tyril, but because the truth of 'what' he is never gets fully discussed he ends up leaving them- though the memories are something he remembers fondly/holds close. 10 years later (TEN years..) he accidentally runs into Crius and Tyril again in a different country- and they greet him warmly (as warmly as you can imagine Tyril), because maybe all along they actually Knew about Zenn's immortality... but Zenn panics and runs away again. Only later on does he pull it together and realize that they must've already known, and they might have even come out that far to search for him. Just when he's steeled his resolve to go back to Hystorica to meet them... He finds out they both died. One from illness, and the other from a bite wound. GOD. THAT STORY MAKES ME INSANE YKNOW.
It's also the fact the lovely writer Ushio Ayane-san themselves have posted up all these delightful little tidbits across their social medias like who's the worst to handle when drunk, how are they when they get sick, what's their usual morning/night routine?
Anyways back to the ot3- while obviously I get the ideals that it's the MC who was able to affect all these changes within each diff LI, I am personally convinced that the relationships they shared helped them as well. Crius and Tyril took it personally upon themselves to go hunt down Zenn when he tried to disappear from their lives even without Anastasia's prompting!
Plus the implied fact that Crius + Tyril + Zenn are almost always at the bar at night together to drink + feed misinformation to their newest scheme's enemies ?? That Zenn, even through all his grousing and curses at Crius for abandoning him, would still take the drunken Tyril home without fail AND ensure he drinks water/doesn't try to drown in the bathtub?
If anything little tidbits I wish I'd gotten were more details on the background between those three aside from the whole 'taking Conrad's org down', how Zenn fares in fights, how they asked 'impossible' things of Zenn throughout this time.. Gosh. I love this game.
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savventeen · 1 year
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I JUST BINGED YOUR ENTIRE “THANKS FOR PLAYING” AND I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM CRYING IN THE LIVING ROOM AND GODDAMN I GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS/IDEAS so here’s a dump lmao
AND SPOILERS ‼️‼️
and be honest if you honestly don’t have any idea or want to leave it up for interpretation
dino’s friend recommended it to him and he recommended it to mc right? well what happened to that friend/person?? i bet they are alive because they sent that game to 13 people before 3 am so the lady in the closet doesn’t get to them 🤭
if mc didn’t mess around and acted seriously in the game, would the outcome have changed? or was it always the gamemaster’s intention for the player to fall into obscurity?
how come dino remembered the mc? power of love??? or because he knew about the game (im pulling stuff out of my ass)?? or he has an android phone in this au 🧐
what if the pfps for the “AIs” are actually previous victims
so if you actually finish the game against all odds everyone is released (if they aren’t dead) hmmmmm sequel merhaps?? jk
imagine the only clue left about the players existence is the goddamn phone bill for texting 💀
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MC????? wait that’d be really sad if the mc was actually still alive but dino couldn’t recognize them as “mc” but knows they exist somehow uGH
i know you wrote this story for fun so these don’t need to have answers/comments but please provide any extra tidbits of info about this concept it’s so interesting 🙏🙏
SKLJDFLKSDJF OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING????? AND IM SO HONORED HOLY SHIT I WILL DO MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO ANSWER WHAT I CAN 😭💜
also you are not the only one with questions so I'm going to do my best to answer them all here!!!
[for anyone who hasn't read it yet and wants to know wtf we're talking about, you can read the entirety of my .|X| THANKS FOR PLAYING |X|. smau here!]
*cracks knuckles* alrighty buckle up folks time to try and answer some questions and take a deep dive into savv’s personal TFP lore here we gooooooooooooo
[putting it all under a readmore bc it got long af and also i didn't realize how hard it would be to translate the lore in my brain into words??????? i somehow didn't realize how oddly complicated it is??? like writing all of this out in any kind of semi-coherent way was SO HARD sdkjfsdlkjf]
~ Was it all a dream? (this one was asked by @junhui-recs)
Sadly, no. 😭 In the reality of this fictional universe, a tragedy very much did happen and Dino and MC are very much suffering from it 🥲 (I will not stop you from imagining that it was all a dream tho, we all have different ways of coping dklsjfsklj <3)
~ What's the main purpose of the game? Why are they doing this? (this one asked by @diamondyjh)
OKAY SO to start off you need to know that this au was heavily inspired by an episode of a podcast called "The Magnus Archives", specifically the episode “Binary” (transcript here). [If you're a fan of horror, I highly recommend giving the episode a listen/read, it's delightfully creepy — you don't need to have listened to any of the other episodes to understand it (just stop at the ending 'supplemental' part)]
The episode goes into detail about this sort of digital urban legend/creepypasta/copypasta about a guy named Sergey Ushanka who, long story short, tried to upload his brain/consciousness into a computer because he was afraid of death and wanted to try living forever virtually. There are tame versions of how he did it and other much more brutal ones, but basically "Sergey Ushanka" is a prank that various coders/programmers like to pull when making chatboxes in which you could talk with "strangers". It would start out normal and then steadily devolve into something creepy. This paragraph taken directly from the episode transcript sums it up very nicely:
"But then the responses start to break down, become more sinister, and keep referring to how much pain Sergey is in. Eventually, the only response the bot gives you is screaming and pleas to be released. The idea is that the chatbot is Sergey Ushanka’s mind, and he doesn’t like being in a computer nearly as much as he’d hoped."
So the idea that I stole from the episode essentially was: but what if it was real? What would the reality of being turned into cold, unfeeling data feel like? Agony is what the episode posits. Here is a list of phrases that the Sergey in the episode uses:
cw: vague body horror, blood mention "the angles cut me when I try to think" / "it peels my mind like knives" / "it feels like thinking through cheese wire" / "there's no feeling, but the no feeling hurts" / "it's cold without blood" / "the maze is sharp on my mind"
My next thought process was: What happens after? If someone were able to survive this process and were somehow able to keep any kind of agency, how would that person try to get out of the digital hellscape that has now become their existence? After knowing what it feels like to become distinctly inhuman, wouldn't they do anything to feel human again?
And how do we feel human? How do we find connection with each other and our humanity without ever having to come in contact with another person?
Stories. Fiction and non-fiction alike, we are all connected through storytelling, by finding feeling through other people's words. The thing about stories, though, is that they aren't messy in the same way that actually feeling our feelings is. That being human is.
So what does all of this have to do with the purpose of the game?
Essentially, when it's all boiled down, in this universe the story of Sergey Ushanka is real, and in this universe he is trying to gain his humanity back by stealing that of others. He started off with stories, with whatever online libraries and resources and archives he could find across the internet. And while it wasn't even close to enough to satisfy him, to get rid of any of the pain he was constantly experiencing, it was enough for him to learn, to grow, to realize that if he wanted his humanity back, he needed to go to the source.
So he started stealing real people from the real world, with all of their messy feelings and emotions and humanness.
That is the purpose of the game, why "they" are doing this. (pls don't ask the how bc i don't have an answer for that, just -waves hands- you know, insert your supernatural/sci-fi explanation of choice sldkflksj)
~ Did all the other characters from the game also get pulled into it the same way reader did? (asked by @diamondyjh) / What if the pfps for the “AIs” are actually previous victims
Short answer, yes to both! (Longer answer in the next question lol)
~ Who are those other people? (asked by @junhui-recs)
Essentially, the other characters/bots/whatever you want to call them are a kind of amalgamation of all the previous players who got sucked into the game. Once someone's been... let's call it absorbed, whatever parts of themselves are left after the process basically get shoved into whatever "character" they fit best, sometimes different pieces going to different characters.
And while the pictures could just be random ones, I like the idea that they're taken from the most recent players that got absorbed :')
~ Why was Changkyun evil? (asked by @junhui-recs)
Well, the main reason he was "evil" was because he's, y'know, a part of the game and the game is trying to steal people's souls or whatever. As for why he's mean, that's because he's trying to trigger an emotional reaction. The more messy, human feelings that are happening at the time of absorption, the better :').
~ Dino’s friend recommended it to him and he recommended it to mc right? What happened to that friend/person??
"i bet they are alive because they sent that game to 13 people before 3 am so the lady in the closet doesn’t get to them 🤭" SJKDFSKLDJ this made me snort, so thank you 😂
BUT to answer your question, in the story, Dino says that Yeonjun gave it to him and that he got it from "a friend of a friend of a roommate". Because the absorption and the consequent complete erasure is such a big process, not everyone who plays gets sucked in. In fact, most people who play don't get sucked in. Which is why Yeonjun is totally fine! (And why the friend of the friend of the roommate, aka this universe's irl Changkyun, is not 🥲)
~ If mc didn’t mess around and acted seriously in the game, would the outcome have changed? Or was it always the gamemaster’s intention for the player to fall into obscurity?
This one's a little bit complicated. It's kind of a yes and no situation? Generally speaking, the game isn't looking to ensnare every single person who plays because 1) it takes A Lot Of Effort to take/erase a single person, and 2) the game needs to spread to other people somehow, thus it needs people to play it and then tell other people to play it too.
For MC specifically, though, it's hard to say. How they played the game didn't matter so much as how they reacted to the game, specifically the first phase(s) of the Mnemosyne Protocol. The whole point of the game is to get big, messy, emotional responses, so if MC hadn't had such a big reaction, the game probably would have turned out differently. That being said, if MC had played the game as blandly as possible, the game might not have ever decided to test out the Mnemosyne Protocol, so. *shrugs* Do with that what you will lol.
~ So if you actually finish the game against all odds everyone is released (if they aren’t dead) hmmmmm sequel merhaps?? jk
Sadly, nothing special happens if you finish the game 😭 Plenty of people finish the game and pretty much go "huh, that was cool I guess" and then move on with their lives after telling their friends about it. This can be said about all four games mentioned actually, since we only see one of them get played.
As for a sequel... almost certainly not 🥲 I'm not going to give a hard no/no forever, because who knows if I'll end up getting another idea/get suddenly struck with inspiration, but... it is Extremely unlikely. Another story in the same universe??? ...still not likely, but slightly more likely than a sequel lol.
~ Why is Dino the only one who remembers reader? (asked by @diamondyjh) / How come Dino remembered the mc? Power of love??? Or because he knew about the game (im pulling stuff out of my ass)?? Or he has an android phone in this au 🧐
I almost want to make the answer "bc he has an android" because that is So Funny to me like sldkfjsldkjfslkjdf amazing 😂
But no, that's not the case lmao. And while I am a huge sucker for the Power of Love being an unstoppable force (ESPECIALLY when it's non-romantic love!!!), the reason Dino and only Dino remembers is thanks to sheer luck and a glitch.
So, in episode 28, MC drops their phone when meeting their brother and in episode 29 we see the alert ".|| MNEMOSYNE PROTOCOL COMPLETE ||." show up on a cracked screen.
The final phase of the Mnemosyne Protocol is the erasure portion, and the reason players get erased instead of just like, disappearing is because their "essence" is basically being transferred from reality into this digital realm of Sergey's existence. And reality, because it's now lacking an entire person and their history, just kinda... rewrites itself to make sense with the missing gap. Think of it as the universe doing like a sort of reverse autocorrect.
But because MC's phone got broken in the middle of that transfer, there was a slight glitch in the process. A glitch wherein Dino, because he was on the opposite side of the globe when this was happening, got accidentally missed in the autocorrection process. If he had been in Korea (or heck, anywhere within a few thousand miles) when this happened, he would have forgotten MC as well.
So long story short, Dino was just extremely (un?)lucky 🥲
~ Where is reader? (asked by @junhui-recs) / WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MC????? Wait that’d be really sad if the mc was actually still alive but dino couldn’t recognize them as “mc” but knows they exist somehow uGH
Well, sad news here friends. Most of what's left of MC is now stuck inside the game. They got absorbed and are now a part of Sergey's dataset and will be used/distributed into "characters" as needed.
Notice that I said most. Because, thanks to the glitch, the part of them that was connected to Dino didn't get transferred properly, and now that part of them is kinda stuck — it no longer exists in the real world, but it also didn't get fully absorbed into the game.
Which leads me to the next question:
~ Did reader turn evil and try to pull Dino into the game or is it the game itself being evil and impersonating reader to lure Dino in? (asked by @diamondyjh)
When I wrote the original version of this, the answer was a kind of combination of both — MC had gotten absorbed and corrupted by the game, so while it was the MC reaching out, they were doing so because it was what the game wanted.
But in this version... It's actually neither! Which I think would normally be a good thing but I think in this instance actually just makes this sadder oops.
So, the epilogue isn't the game impersonating MC and it isn't an "evil" MC trying to lure Dino in, it's actually just the part of MC that got stuck during the glitchy transfer. This is why the messages show as being from "Unknown" instead of the phone number associated with the game. And the reason what's left of MC asks Dino if he wants to play a game is because that's the only way it knows how to connect with anything anymore.
Basically, this sliver of MC that's left is experiencing what the original Sergey went through when he first "uploaded" himself, but instead of reaching out to anyone through a chatbot for help, it's reaching out to the only thing it "remembers" about humanity — Dino.
...I honestly didn't mean to make this story any sadder than it already is and I'm glad that the epilogue by itself just reads as spooky/freaky as hell instead of, well, this. 🥲
~ If Dino plays the game, will he be reunited with reader? (asked by @diamondyjh)
It pains me to say that there is no longer an MC for Dino to reunite with 😭 The part of them that got absorbed by the game is, well, a part of the game now. And the piece of them that's left and trying to reach out to him? Well, like I said, it's just a piece.
There could potentially be a chance for him to find some closure here, but that's about it I'm afraid :')
And now because I want this to end on a more lighthearted note:
~ Imagine the only clue left about the players existence is the goddamn phone bill for texting 💀
It becomes the next biggest conspiracy, that there's someone (or a group of someones) out there completing the world's next biggest scam by raking up random people's phone bills and somehow finding a way to steal the profit lmao
~ Some last thoughts from savv:
If y'all made it all the way to the end of this... holy shit I applaud you sldkfjsdlkjflksjdf LIKE!!!
thank you for taking the time to read all of this?????? it's not even fic it's just me rambling and making things Even Sadder??????
i also want to say that i'm a believer that 'canon' is whatever was posted in the story itself and that anything else is just headcannon, even if it's from me, the author. so if you don't like/don't agree with anything i've said here, feel free to ignore it!! fill in any gaps/questions you have in the way that makes your reading experience the most enjoyable!!
but yeah tHANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING AND I HOPE THESE ARE SATISFACTORY ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS AND IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE/HAVE A RENEWED DESIRE TO FIGHT ME MY INBOX IS OPEN SDKLJFSLKJFLSKFJSLKD
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yukidragon · 2 years
Note
Not sure if you've talked about it before (Apologies if you have and I just didn't see the post) but I was replaying the game and when Jack starts talking after the whole "You don't miss him, do you?" "..." "Aw, Sunshine..." exchange, it sounds so personal.
"He promised you the moon and stars. But what did it all amount to, in the end?" That's not the entire exchange but the way it's phrased... Sure, it could be Jack trying to nudge MC away from Ian, trying to really hammer it home that considering getting back together with Ian isn't worth it, all the heartbreak. But for some reason, it sounds to me like Jack is talking about his own experiences?
Now, we have absolutely nothing to go on but I feel like he COULD be talking about someone he used to be in a relationship with (or at least was very close with), who also worked on the show. Could be a director or... (and this is me reaching. Like, REACHING reaching) but what if Jean (aka Raspberry Rory) and Joseph were involved? If Jean (or a director) promised Joseph the moon and the stars, made all these lofty promises? To be together forever, to reach new heights? But then the relationship crashed and burned. Perhaps they didn't expect Joseph to get as popular as he did and got jealous. Maybe other things happened and all those dreams of staying together? Nothing but dust. Which would hurt Joseph, who, from the tidbits we got had a VERY unstable (home)life, very, very deeply. Opening up to someone is hard and was probably harder for Joseph and if his partner was a guy, that would doubly go because of the attitude re: homosexuals of the 80s. Or maybe whoever Joseph opened up to played him like a fiddle and took advantage of his vulnerability?
Hence why Jack sounds so bitter when he is talking with MC during that scene.
(Bonus points if 1) Jean and Joseph were involved. 2) If Jean was the guy who killed Joseph in a fit of jealous rage. 3) Ian really is Jean's kid. Can you imagine the fury Jack would feel upon connecting all the dots?)
That line from Jack stuck out to me too. It inspired me to write one of my darkest theories, the Tragedy of [Redacted] in fact.
Also, maybe it's just me, but when Jack almost seems distracted at this particular part, as if he's remembering something. He's looking away the entire time he says it and sounds a little distant, which is a credit to his VA to put so much emotion in his lines.
Jack He promised you the moon and all the stars…And I bet he did it so well… … Jack …But what did it all amount to in the end? … Jack He doesn’t love you…He can’t love you… … Jack Nobody who can do what he’s done to you knows what love even is.
It certainly lends more evidence to me that Jack is seeing parallels between the way Ian hurt MC and something that happened to him in the past.
Although it's a popular headcanon that Jean was jealous of Joseph or even was the reason for the murder, we don't actually know if that's the case. For all we know, Jean could be revealed to be someone just as sweet as the pastries he pretended to bake on the show.
I do, however, think that Joseph was taken advantage of back when he was alive. The way he cautions MC about "other people" makes that pretty clear. Also, he asks what Ian "provides" to MC to make their pain worth it. Did he have a toxic lover who "provided" him with something he needed as Joseph? Did they make him feel like he had to "provide" something they deemed significant enough for him to be loved?
It's possible too that it relates to Jack being a star... specifically the way he was used by LambsWork Productions. Producers could've promised Joseph the moon and all the stars... or at least a life of stardom. But in the end they erased everything about him. They didn't actually care about him at all.
That possibility is a bit of a stretch, admittedly, due to the emphasis about love. Also there's the fact that Jack is a yandere, whose love has been twisted. His past probably plays a big part in that, all things considered...
Given some of the hints we've gotten about Joseph's past and the way people treated him, I have a feeling that he had quite a difficult time when it came to love...
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur 
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Text
These calls accompany Victor’s Confrontation Date, and set the premise of the date itself. So, I’m posting them first~ ❤️
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⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released on the global server! ⌚
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【1st Call】
[Note]: This call takes place some time before the date, and is crucial for the premise of the date—
Victor: Didn’t you say you’d be working overtime?
MC: Yeah–– ahh–– can you not hear me typing vigorously?
Victor: All I can hear is a certain someone’s anguished wailing in search of excuses to avoid work.
Victor: If you have the time to call me for crying, why not finish up your work faster and come home?
MC: Can I understand this sentence as CEO Victor wishes that I come home sooner?
Victor: [laughs helplessly]  I see that your comprehension ability still needs improvement.
MC: Sob, sob. Victor, you’re so cruel. I’m tired and want to goof off for a while. Just talk with me and give me some motivation.
Victor: Oh? Who was the one that righteously declined my offer to have dinner together this afternoon, claiming that no temptation could shake her determination to work hard tonight?
MC: …I’m really a dummy.
Victor: [chuckles softly]  That self-reflection was done quite fast.
MC: I’ve been reflecting on it all evening. This is more than just dinner. It means I’ve tacitly allowed work to take away our time together.
Victor: Seeing how you’re babbling away so vigorously, it seems like you’re not tired.
Victor: However, your mental state does need to be paid attention to.
MC: So, when this busy spell is over, let’s go to the moon!!
Victor: [indulgent, dramatic sigh] Weren’t we talking about going to Mars yesterday?
MC: Let’s go! We’ll go everywhere! Let’s travel around space!
Victor: [exceedingly doting laugh]  Sure. Where else do you wanna go?
MC: There’s a new concept of a role-playing game focusing on “confrontation.” Hehe, I wanna play it with you.
Victor: Is it on Earth?
MC: …in Loveland City. No, I’m being serious about this! I just stumbled upon a recommendation for it on a review website and found it intriguing.
MC: Shall we go and relax together when the time comes?
Victor: Are you sure this “confrontation” game, as you mentioned, is relaxing?
MC: Blowing off the steam can be a form of relaxation too. Besides, we don’t get to participate in activities like this often, so it could be a nice change of pace to try it out occasionally.
Victor: Then go ahead and make a reservation. I have time after this spell.
MC: Great! I’ve already entered our names the moment you said yes!
MC: Oh yes, this game’s duration is three days and takes place in a Manor. The game organizers will take care of the accommodations and meals.
Victor: [knowing soft laugh]  You’re very skilled at diverting the conversation from the main point.
Victor: Well, it’s good anyway. Three days should be enough for a certain someone to blow off her steam.
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【2nd Call】
This call takes place after the events of the date:
Victor: Weren’t you off playing with that group of college students? It ended so quickly?
MC: Don’t mention it… these students have too much energy. I ran out to catch my breath.
MC: Victor, you know, the script we played today in the murder mystery game is very similar to the ancient-style one we played a few years ago!
MC: The one where you played the role of the King of Liang. You still remember, right?
[Tidbits]: MC is referring to their 2018 Qixi date (Qixi Festival Date on EN)!
Victor: A certain dummy didn’t let the cat out of the bag immediately and get discovered by others, did she?
MC: Don’t underestimate me! I effortlessly uncovered the assassin in no time!
MC: However, it was over quickly ‘cause the script was too simple. They didn’t find it satisfying enough and are already preparing to move on to the next one.
MC: But I’m a little tired and don’t want to play anymore…
Victor: Then just tell them no.
MC: Uhh, I feel a little shy about it. Also, if I leave, there will be fewer people, and they will need to find other people…
Victor: Don’t say no, then.
MC: Sob, sob. But I’m tired! And I really miss you–– I miss you so much––
Victor: Ah, it must be really hard for you then.
Victor: Despite missing me so much, you still went out to play with those college students?
MC: Hehe, Victor, if you’re feeling jealous, you can just say it directly~
MC: Didn’t I ask you before, and you said you didn’t wanna play?
Victor: That’s not the same thing.
Victor: Some people “only value others for their own advancement and discard them once they are no longer useful.”
Victor: You must have called me only because you couldn’t find any other reasons, right?
MC: You really do know me so well~ TUT If I were to say that I have to work overtime, it’d be a bit too abrupt. After all, I had already told them I had a lot of free time recently.
MC: After mulling it over, it seemed like my boyfriend could be the only solution. Could you play the role of my clingy and cute boyfriend––
Victor: [LMAO the way he cuts her off]  I am your boyfriend. There’s no need for me to play the role of one.
Victor: So I guess I should be taking responsibility for being your “clingy and cute” partner, shouldn’t I?
Victor: Tell them–– your boyfriend thinks that you’re not happy going out by yourself and he wants you to come home as soon as possible––
Victor: I suppose you’ve already had that excuse ready in advance, right?
MC: Says who? At best, it’s just that I really miss my boyfriend, and he really misses me too–– so I’m going back home~
Victor: If that’s the case, why are you reporting to me?
Victor: Go and say goodbye to your little friends.
────────────
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laxmiree · 2 years
Text
[CN] 5th Anniversary - Lucien (Prologue)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a story that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
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✧ 5th Anniversary Event | Prologue (you’re here!) | Creative Workshop | King Fuk Street | Wonderland | Star Plaza | Final Day- Heart Rain Lake | Roast! | Truth and Dare Pinball Machine | Random Event tidbits
Translation under the cut~
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It was late at night, and I was leaning on the sofa under a blanket, reading a magazine.
Suddenly, the sound of a door opening slowly came from the doorway, and I was so happy that I quickly ran towards the door.
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MC: Lucien, welcome home~
After opening the door, I hugged him, who was covered by the cold wind.
At the end of the year, Lucien's ongoing research work was coming to an end, and he was particularly busy during this time of the year.
But after being "kidnapped" by me, he now obediently goes home to sleep every night.
Professor Lucien, who never knew how to take care of himself, seems to be changing little by little.
At that moment, a soft voice rang in my ears.
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Lucien: Outside is so cold today, nothing like home.
Lucien: So it's better to be here.
I glanced at the clock on the wall - 23:58 - and squinted pretentiously.
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MC: Then why didn't Professor Lucien come back earlier?
Lucien: I know saying that I'll come back early next time is a cheap tactic.
Lucien: But I'll try to do that, and after today it won't be any later.
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He raised his hand and rubbed my nose. His brows and eyes were curved, which made me laugh too.
MC: I'll remember that. So, I hope Professor Lucien will abide well.
When Lucien finished showering, it was nearly one o'clock.
The only thing left in our bedroom was a small night light, and the yellow light lulling us to sleep.
But we didn't lie down. We just enjoyed the short, quiet time that belonged only to us.
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MC: Lucien, do you feel the year seems to have passed in the blink of an eye?
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Lucien: Mmm, but doesn't the fact that time passes so quickly prove that we are living life to the fullest?
MC: No matter how full you are living, you can't be completely filled with work. Like, compared to the end of last year-
MC: You were not as busy at the end of last year as you are now.
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Lucien smiled and mindlessly stroked my palm.
Lucien: That's because I've been working on a critical project report, so I've spent most of my time on it.
MC: Is it about some major development in brain science?
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Lucien: Hmm… In all seriousness, it's difficult to categorize this topic, and this year is just the fifth year of this study.
Lucien: Therefore, I intend to make a summary report.
I blinked in curiosity, slightly stunned.
MC: Five years? 'Five' is a good number!
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Lucien: (chuckle) Indeed, I also feel the same way.
The corners of Lucien's lips still held a smile.
Lucien: Although it took a lot of time to review and organize, I enjoyed the whole process.
Lucien: I was also a little nervous because it was so important, and I hadn't studied the topic in depth before.
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MC: Oh? So there is a question in this world that can defeat Professor Lucien~
MC: If there is anything that needs help, I will certainly be willing to help! For example, those that are not relevant to the field.
My pretend bravado did make him laugh. Lucien pondered for a moment and then gently blinked his eyes.
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Lucien: I truly need your help.
Lucien: After all, it was too dull to stay in the office and write this project report, so I wanted a change of scenery.
Lucien: Would you like to accompany me?
MC: Absolutely!
Lucien: Then we're leaving tomorrow.
MC: Huh?
I was stunned for a moment and realized what was going on.
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MC: Have you already thought about where you're going tomorrow? Is it possible that Professor Lucien knew I wouldn't say no, so he decided to preempt me?
Lucien took my hand and interlocked our fingers.
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Lucien: So, are you going to reject me now?
MC: If you ask me that, maybe I can try to refuse…?
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Lucien: Even if I'm going to be sad and end up looking at the subject report anxiously by myself, will MC still attempt to reject me?
He pursed his lips, looking so heartbroken that I couldn't help but smile and rub against his neck.
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MC: What should I do? Even if I know Professor Lucien is acting, I still can't be heartless.
Lucien: Indeed, nothing can be done. I have to make it difficult for you.
Seeing that he remained calm, I could not help but squeeze his palm angrily.
MC: Hum, so where exactly are we going tomorrow?
Lucien: I heard that there is a themed event called "Love World".
Lucien: I thought it might be helpful for my project report.
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MC: Wow, this "Love World" event is so lively. There are people everywhere!
MC: But a place like this… Is it really suitable for you to prepare your project report?
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Lucien: Rather than the environment, I think the person beside me is more important.
MC: Oh? I had no idea I had the power to influence the world of brain science.
Lucien: I don't dare to make a judgment on that, but I know that MC can easily influence me.
Lucien: With her smile, for example, or with her casual remark.
//A REF TO LOTUS POND DATE HELLO??
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MC: (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ Professor Lucien has been guilty of trying to "make fun" of me again.
Lucien: Then, I'll stop here. After all, action speaks louder than words.
Lucien: Now, why don't we go to the hotel and check in first?
Lucien: I have booked a garden view suite. I'm sure you will like it.
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After putting all my luggage away, I looked around the room, and my eyes fell on the "Love World" guidebook on the table.
Even if the map is smaller in proportion, it is easy to see that the area is large. And each theme area has a corresponding cartoon icon, which gives a very lively visual.
The guide booklet also contains detailed information about the random events that will take place in the park at different times of the day.
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MC: Lucien, look, these areas will have a parade performance tonight.
MC: This "Love World" event seems to be much more eventful than what we've had in the past…
As soon as the words fell, I suddenly thought of something and held up the guidebook and shook it at Lucien, who was changing his clothes.
MC: I suddenly have a very reasonable guess-
MC: You're probably worried about missing out on some celebration, so you're staying here while preparing your project report, right?
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Lucien: Well, that does sound reasonable.
He figured out my concern, smiled, and rubbed my hair.
Lucien: I really need a change of environment for my project report, so this lady should have nothing to worry about.
Lucien: I think I can be more efficient this way, and we won't miss all the fun activities.
Lucien: In the long run, it's a win-win decision. What do you think?
MC: ...Is it true that sometimes a different environment can stimulate the brain to generate new ideas?
Lucien nodded approvingly, took a scarf from the suitcase, and put it around for me.
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Lucien: It seems that student MC now has a lot of insights about brain science.
Lucien: So let's go for a walk before we prepare the report.
MC: Hey, don't you need to take care of some project-related matters first?
Lucien: There is no need to rush. Let's just take our time.
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selfawxre · 2 years
Text
god i am just having so many thoughts abt monika and how literally every video essay on ddlc gets her WRONG
" she's a psychopathic / evil villain yandere " " she MURDERS her FRIENDS to DATE you " you people are all missing the point SO HARD
monika is inherently a tragic character above all else - she's an ai, given sentience as part of an experiment, or (if you choose to ignore the ddlc+ lore) a video game character given sentience and as such trapped in said game. upon realising that she is the only being with her level of intelligence in her world, she strives to find a way to reach out and interact with someone, anyone.
thus, she creates the mc.
it's specifically stated in ddlc+ that the mc is a creation of monika - that's why he has zero sprites, a rapidly fluctuating personality based on which girl he's talking to, and in general just doesn't feel Real. sure, that can be said for any dating sim protagonist, but it's extra prominent in ddlc - the mc is solely a vessel for you, the player, and he was created by monika because she is desperate for any form of connection.
saying she's heartless or cruel for what she does to the other girls ( or that it's solely out of selfishness and a want to get closer to the player ) is also just blatantly false when you remember that the other girls aren't real the way monika is ( at least in the narrative - she is still very much fictional too. ) her situation is comparable to the truman show a bit - she's the only "real" one, the only one aware of her surroundings. sure, the other girls interact with her in the context of the game, and her manipulation of their code drives them to do things she doesn't even seem to expect, but they're still working off a script, like actors.
another thing that people forget is that monika's love for the player is borne out of what you represent to her, not actually you as a person. how can it be - she doesn't know anything about you, really. she knows your name from your files for a spooky little jumpscare in act 3, but that can be whatever you set it as on the platform you play the game on. the main thing that attracts her to you is that you're a real person, someone she can actually connect with. it's why her song is called "your reality" - she doesn't actually have romantic feelings to the player, she wants to exist in a world where she's not completely alone - being in a dating sim, it's thematic that she describes her love as romantic. she tries to escape the game midway through act 2 if you're in full-screen (the bluescreen scare literally says "DDLC escape plan" on it) and barely anybody acknowledges it because it's so easy to miss.
from the beginning, she's trying desperately to make you see that she knows she's in a game without actually outright saying it - from her day 2 talk about her " epiphany ", her poems being specifically about that, to the many comments she makes about the game. i also like the tidbit that she's the one to give you game tips, but also doesn't seem to be aware of it? it makes sense because in the context of the game, she's the side-character there to facilitate your routes with the other girls, the unattainable club president who gives you tips and isn't actually romanceable. And it fucking kills her, because it limits the amount of time she has to get through to you. This is what leads her to change the other girls' code, not because she's a " yandere " ( if you want a character who fits that trope, look no further than ms "knife collector" "i want to peel open your skin and crawl inside you" yuri herself!!! ) .
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