#obey me goofy

[l3viat8an]

One of those before-i-forget things :3

Brothers, minding their own business: ...

MC, probably on her period, tears in her eyes, shaky voice: if i were an ant, would you step on me or give me crumbs?

Just gonna drop it here and disappear into the void, goodnight 🖤🖤

Please don't mind it if it's too dumb I'm in my silly goofy arc and im exhausted

🐈‍⬛~

Ahhh I’m late again but goodnight!! And this is so funny dhajaj-

Belphie is just rolling his eyes and saying ‘Sure.’

Beel is completely serious “I’d still share food with you. but I’m not sure where you’d live…”

Asmo is having an internal struggle cuz ‘ewww bugs’ 💀 so he’ll probably stay quiet.

Satan says ‘yes’ without hesitation. He’d even build you an ant farm shjshs

Levi says ‘Yes’ just so you calm down, but then he’ll ask if you’d still love him as a worm-

Mammon says yes before asking immediately if you would love him as a bug, he needs an answer now or he’ll worry you wouldn’t-

Lucifer stays quiet because it sounds ridiculous you’re not going to turn into a bug. Yes, he would still take care of you as a bug but it’s ridiculous. 

[devilishdelights]

I can be your angle… or yuor devil

Happy Nightbringer eve-ish :)

[astaroth1357]

So. As something of a connoisseur of depictions of the 7 Deadly Sins in media, I was just mulling over FMAB and thought, “I don’t know if anyone as crossed this over with OM before, but that would actually be kinda fire though.”

Like, imagine each of the brothers with the destructive powers of their respective Homunculi.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer coming off as the most normal at first, until MC catches how his shadow bends and curves to avoid harsh light. They swear they sometimes hear him chuckling in the dark corners of the House, but they never actually find him anything there when they check. Red eyes reveal themselves in unlit rooms and follow them through the halls, all the while they keep wondering how he always seems to know where they are whenever he's away…

Mammon hardening his skin to be tougher than diamond, then using it to reinforce his claws and smoothly cut a perfect circle into glass display case. Him letting himself get punched when things don’t matter, but instantly hardening his cheek to break the assailant's hand whenever he starts getting serious. Or literally using his body to protect MC from harm as their first man and loyal shield.

Leviathan having a MASSIVE aquatic beast form that he shoves into a normal sized body, making him feel even more distant to others. Using transformations to regularly make himself look like his favorite anime characters/idols since he can’t stand the thought of looking at his true form. Yet, he still has that conservation of mass going, so he can simultaneously look like a 12 year-old girl and kick a car down the street like a soccerball.

Satan using his gifted sight to become an absolute force of nature. Not just a mere brute, but a sophisticated and effective killing machine with the wit and reflexes to mow down entire armies before breaking a sweat. Never blinded by fury, but harnessing his rage behind every inescapable strike. Him silently vowing that any threat to MC or his family will barely get to finish a thought before he's cut them down with precision and grace.

Asmodeus mostly using his extending nails for glorious manicures, but not being afraid to pierce the heart or lungs of anyone he doesn’t much like. He hears an incubus talking shit from a few tables down and stabs a hole through the jerk's skull while never looking away from his milkshake. His fights with Mammon getting 1000 times more destructive as his razor sharp claws bounce off his brother's skin and dig into the walls and furniture. The only thing he hates about them are how long it takes to scrub the blood off his nails afterwards.

*silently contemplates the possibility of Beel ripping himself in half to reveal a nightmarish second “stomach” capable of sucking anything into a blood-filled pocket dimension of which there is no light, hope, or escape* … Okay, moving on.

And of course, for those unaware FMAB Sloth could run at like the speed of sound which was threatening because he was also a behemoth. However, Belphie probably weights 125 pounds when wet, so… I admittedly get a giggle at the idea of him giving Lucifer a speed-of-light drop kick from across the House. That is probably all he would use it for, too. Him just getting those horns out and going into ramming speed… What a menace

Bonus: Wonder what kind of alchemist Solomon would be? 🤔

[666writingcafe]

Top Secret!!!!!

A Group Chat Involving Everyone but MC and Luke

Solomon: It's nearly time for me to give MC their preliminary exam. How many stars is MC up to?

Mammon: you serious, bro????

Mammon: you haven't kept track of mc's stars????

Mammon: old man alert

Satan: Four.

Solomon: Thank you, Satan. What other three virtues have been rewarded?

Diavolo: Gratitude from me.

Simeon: Patience from me and generosity from Luke.

Solomon: So, chastity, diligence, and humility remain. I was thinking of having us play Tail Thieves.

Asmo: I love you, Solomon, but no.

Solomon: What's wrong with Tail Thieves?

Asmo: One, it's a childish game.

Lucifer: ^

Asmo: Two, do you not remember how MC behaved the last time you tested them? They were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND, and it impacted their performance as a result.

Beel: That's true.

Asmo: Any twists you come up with are going to be too predictable.

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: I'm SURE you have a better idea.

Asmo: I do, actually.

Asmo: It involves testing their chastity.

Solomon: Go on...

Asmo: We'll seduce them.

Mammon: that's a stupid idea!!!!

Levi: youre just saying that because youre jealous

Belphie: *laughing emoji*

Beel: *gif of someone doing a spit-take*

Asmo: I'm being serious.

Asmo: During their last stay in the Devildom, I managed to charm them, which gained me access to their deepest desires.

Asmo: They have fantasies involving all of us. Tempting them with those will be the ultimate test of their chastity. If they're able to resist, then they earn the star.

Lucifer: That's actually a well thought-out idea.

Barbatos: ^

Diavolo: ^^

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: Fine.

Solomon: Who's participating?

Levi: mammon and i are out

Mammon: speak for yourself!!!! the fuck???

Levi: if this is meant to really test mc then everyone has to commit to the bit and you and i both know that youd tap out the minute mc looks at you sideways

Mammon: *glaring crow sticker*

Levi: while ive gained some confidence i still wouldnt be able to maintain my composure long enough to complete something like this

Asmo: I will provide the necessary information, but I myself will not be seducing MC, as much as it pains me to say.

Satan: Of course it would pain you to say that.

Asmo: *eye roll emoji*

Solomon: Do you want to judge with me?

Asmo: I mean, I kinda figured we would, so...

Barbatos: My participation will depend on what I'm meant to reenact.

Asmo: Are you afraid it would conflict with your duties?

Barbatos: Yes.

Diavolo: Well, if you're worried about me stopping you, don't. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to sit this out if I'm planning on participating.

Mammon: WHAT??????

Levi: bro

Levi: he literally jumped out a castle window to be with mc

Levi: he's THIRSTY

Belphie: Unfortunately.

Asmo: Not to be the bossy brother, but Lucifer, you aren't allowed to back out.

Lucifer: Wasn't planning on it. I know where I stand in MC's mind.

Satan: You know, I think I might chill with Mammon and Levi. I thought about joining in the fun, but I don't think I have it in me to see things through.

Satan: And before anyone chimes in, no, it's not because Lucifer confirmed his participation.

Belphie: We know. If it was, you'd be trying to one-up him.

Satan: Thank you, Belphie. I TOTALLY wanted that out there. *eye roll emoji*

Beel: I'm in.

Belphie: Quick question: would it be fair of me to participate?

Asmo: Actually, you'd be PERFECT for this. You can argue that you know MC more intimately than ANY of us. You'd know what buttons to push to make them really sweat.

Belphie: Okay, cool. I'll do it, then.

Simeon: Me too.

Levi: lol what

Mammon: ayo, do you even KNOW how to seduce someone, simeon?

Simeon: How do you think I'm able to write some of the scenes in TSL?

Levi: well okay then

Solomon: So, to confirm: Lucifer, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, and Simeon are definite participants, Barbatos is a maybe, and Mammon, Levi, and Satan are sitting this out?

Nine people liked Solomon's message.

Mammon: the three of us can keep an eye on luke. we can either help him run the cafe or take him out someplace fun.

Levi: you know you seem awfully chummy towards luke lately

Mammon: we bonded during our fairy hunt.

Asmo: Then that settles it. Solomon and I will meet with the volunteers for further discussion.

[l-mint-l]

[rdm00n]

Why he '🤓☝️'

[katboykirby]

I see your Babygirl Casting, and I raise you... This chart.

At this point I may as well write a scientific dissertation on the phenomenon of babygirlism and all of it's derivatives.

Using our previous definition of "Babygirl" (a grown man who behaves in questionable and/or problematic ways) and working with the data extrapolated from my existing research, here are the conclusions I was able to draw:

Some subjects are not pictured (such as pathetic/type: malewife [Diavolo] among others) for the sake of brevity

As well, there was one outlier that defied all attempts at classification, and as such was reclassified as it's own unique specimen:

Thank you for your time, gentlemen

[lvlcurrent]

his birthday tamagatchi

[impish-ivy]

Kiss the old man’s forehead here 👇

Very late to this trend but iirc nobody did Solomon and I felt that needed to be fixed!

Link to original artist

[zekeissoreal]

☆|| Levi from obey me sketch

He's my cheeky wee lad :3 (disappears for another 2 months)

[l3viat8an]

i want lucifer to call mc while dia and barb are in the same room as him, but he doesn't tell mc that. the call is quick, and mc ends it with something cute like "can't wait to see you at home, sweetheart!" and lucifer just fucking dies bc now dia and barb know he gets called pet names

Diavolo will bring it up whenever he can just to embarrass Luci a bit jsksjsk

Barbatos simply coughs chuckles and acts like he didn’t hear it, only to tease Lucifer later.

Oooh!!!!!! Just imagine Barbatos serving Lucifer and Diavolo tea ‘n saying “I hope you do enjoy this blend, sweetheart.” Lucifer’s face has never been redder and Diavolo chokes laughs into his own cup of tea-

[mickeywabbit]

kitten please unblock me🤨⁉️

original

[himabyul]

hmmm humans with suspiciously non human traits who wish for humanity to not be caught between crossfire of angels and demons yet use demons' powers to achieve their goal.... where have I heard about this before...

[alsoricoffee]

THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE I WANT HIM SO BAD HRHRHRHRHRHRHRRHRHRRH

[obae-me]

Demons and a Plane

The seven brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, and MC, are in the Human Realm, enjoying a lovely vacation. Of course, while Lucifer and Barbatos could drop them off wherever they wished to go, Diavolo has been talking non-stop about the fascinating methods of human travel. So, this time, they're all flying. The human way. Aboard a plane.

Diavolo: Isn't this exciting?! All of us going on a trip together, using classic human transportation!

MC: It's been a while since I've been on a plane! And we're all in this compartment alone together? Must've been expensive.

Barbatos: Not at all, actually. I had someone in the human world who owed me a favor. They were more than happy to acquire these accommodations for us.

Mammon: Hell yeah, this is awesome!

Lucifer: Awesome is not the word I'd use to describe this situation. Everyone, please, for the love of Sin, sit in your seats.

MC: What's wrong, Lucifer? You don't look so good... Don't tell me, you're not afraid of planes, are you?

Lucifer: Please don't misconstrue my aversion to this flying death trap as fear.

Diavolo: *Slyly nods his head towards MC to confirm that, yes, Lucifer is afraid of planes.*

MC: But, rollercoasters in the Devildom are ten times more dangerous than a plane!

Lucifer: Yes, but I can free myself from one of those rides if I need to. There's no way of jumping out of here without garnering too much attention.

MC: Well, can't you just--wait, did you just say you'd jump out of a moving rollercoaster? Lucifer, have you jumped out of a moving rollercoaster?

Lucifer: No comment.

*Every demon besides him simply nods at MC.*

MC: Lucifer, are you kidding me?!

Lucifer: I hate all of you.

[enoe-of-noen]

Back?

Part 1

Mc laid in their bed, curled up in their demon form as their blanket was cast aside. They squinted their eyes, glaring into their newly formed claws. Clenching. It pierced their skin. It hurt. “Ow..” they mumbled, holding their tummy, curling into themselves further.

The clocked ticked. Seconds. Minutes.

Footsteps.

Knocking was heard, Mc gritting their teeth. “Mc..?” His voice softly spoke, that damn old man. “…may I please come in?”

He stood at the door for what felt like forever, until he heard a grunt of confirmation. He sighed, slowly opening the door, cringing as it creaked. “Mc?” He spoke again, desperate for a response. A spoken response. He needed to hear their voice.

“Please?” He practically begged, he felt incredibly vulnerable in his current position. Standing at the end of Mc’s bed, hands clammy and kept close to his chest. His throat felt dry and, for the first time in…a while, he could feel tears starting to form. “Mc please…I..”

“Do…” Solomon perked up at their voice, listening attentively. “…do we have to go back?”

Chills ran up the wizard’s spine. “W-what?” Mc sat up, still holding their tummy as they raised their head. Their eyes cold and melancholic. “Do we have to go back?” They repeated. Solomon furrowed his brows angrily, simmering.

“Why would you ask that Mc? Don’t you want to go back to when these brothers knew you? Don’t you want their familiarity? The familiarity you worked so hard for? The life you worked so hard for that made you the most respected human in the Devildom?! Here, you’re just another demon!”

“Another demon that is allowed to be by your side! Do you want me to go back to spending all of my time with the brothers, not able to even see you for days?! Maybe even weeks?! Here, I can be respected without fighting for it. Here, I can walk knowing I have the power to protect myself. Here, I can be with you!”

“I don’t want to go back to a life where I died! You were there for me this time..I knew what to expect…I knew…” Mc shakily exhaled. Solomon grit his teeth, clenching his fists.

“Mc—“

“I’m alive, Solomon. I…I didn’t have to feel the pain. The agony, the blood in my throat, the desperation.”

The two heaved, Solomon leaning on his back foot as Mc’s head hung from their position. Solomon swallowed, still glaring at his apprentice. “You have all of this because of the life you came from. Without your prior experience, you wouldn’t have the confidence you’re taking advantage of!”

“That—”

“And yet you decide that it’s better to stay in the timeline where you are known as the demon attendant that looks after the seven demon brothers and lives with some immortal sorcerer. Where your existence means close to nothing to these demons. Rather than the one where your life actually mattered to them.”

Mc was at a loss for words, clutching their shirt in silence. It made Solomon seethe.

“And what about your family?”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Are you as able to go to the human world to greet them? To spend your time with them?”

“Bastard,” Mc scowled.

“You have become exactly like those demons, losing your connection with humans like you!”

“You have no room to speak! Everybody thinks you’re worse off than them!”

“Perhaps I am! But I came in here to comfort you, to apologize. But you’re too hardheaded and stubborn to listen to me! You’re the reason I’ve felt so human, felt that warmth of another, felt..like myself. Without the facade. Without my power. Without feeling inadequate.”

“…”

“And here you are, sulking that being human was never enough for you!” His voice shook the house. The anger that had built up finally releasing. The sounds of the pair’s breathing filling the room.

“I’m sorry, Solo.” Mc sighed, breaking the tension.

“Huh?” He blinked, his posture relaxing. “I-I mean, I’m sorry too, Mc.” He walked over to their side, sitting on their bed. Mc hummed, leaning their head on Solomon’s shoulder.

“Life is hard. It was weird to adapt, it was odd being brought back so far. But, I managed. We managed. I am grateful. For you, for them. Including for what I learned. I wouldn’t be who I am now if it wasn’t for that.”

“Mm, and I shouldn’t have brought up such sensitive topics. I know you shared that with me wholeheartedly, and I shamed you for it. I am terribly sorry.”

“It…helped.” Mc cuddled closer, making Solomon slightly chuckle. “But for future notice, please don’t.”

“I promise.” They shared a soft smile.

“Thank you.”

Idk how I got here but yay