#obey me goofy

[l3viat8an]

One of those before-i-forget things :3

Brothers, minding their own business: ...

MC, probably on her period, tears in her eyes, shaky voice: if i were an ant, would you step on me or give me crumbs?

Just gonna drop it here and disappear into the void, goodnight 🖤🖤

Please don't mind it if it's too dumb I'm in my silly goofy arc and im exhausted

🐈‍⬛~

Ahhh I’m late again but goodnight!! And this is so funny dhajaj-

Belphie is just rolling his eyes and saying ‘Sure.’

Beel is completely serious “I’d still share food with you. but I’m not sure where you’d live…”

Asmo is having an internal struggle cuz ‘ewww bugs’ 💀 so he’ll probably stay quiet.

Satan says ‘yes’ without hesitation. He’d even build you an ant farm shjshs

Levi says ‘Yes’ just so you calm down, but then he’ll ask if you’d still love him as a worm-

Mammon says yes before asking immediately if you would love him as a bug, he needs an answer now or he’ll worry you wouldn’t-

Lucifer stays quiet because it sounds ridiculous you’re not going to turn into a bug. Yes, he would still take care of you as a bug but it’s ridiculous. 

[devilishdelights]

I can be your angle… or yuor devil

Happy Nightbringer eve-ish :)

[l0ca1-s1mp]

Silly Satan post appreciation!! 💛💝

[mallorylambart]

last art of 2024 (that i technically started a few months ago)

2024 really was the year of "collecting fictional men like pokemon cards", i played SO many good games with fictional men this year. this isn't even all of em, this is just where i wanted to be done with this lmfao

here's to more hyperfixations in 2025 i spose

[astaroth1357]

So. As something of a connoisseur of depictions of the 7 Deadly Sins in media, I was just mulling over FMAB and thought, “I don’t know if anyone as crossed this over with OM before, but that would actually be kinda fire though.”

Like, imagine each of the brothers with the destructive powers of their respective Homunculi.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer coming off as the most normal at first, until MC catches how his shadow bends and curves to avoid harsh light. They swear they sometimes hear him chuckling in the dark corners of the House, but they never actually find him anything there when they check. Red eyes reveal themselves in unlit rooms and follow them through the halls, all the while they keep wondering how he always seems to know where they are whenever he's away…

Mammon hardening his skin to be tougher than diamond, then using it to reinforce his claws and smoothly cut a perfect circle into glass display case. Him letting himself get punched when things don’t matter, but instantly hardening his cheek to break the assailant's hand whenever he starts getting serious. Or literally using his body to protect MC from harm as their first man and loyal shield.

Leviathan having a MASSIVE aquatic beast form that he shoves into a normal sized body, making him feel even more distant to others. Using transformations to regularly make himself look like his favorite anime characters/idols since he can’t stand the thought of looking at his true form. Yet, he still has that conservation of mass going, so he can simultaneously look like a 12 year-old girl and kick a car down the street like a soccerball.

Satan using his gifted sight to become an absolute force of nature. Not just a mere brute, but a sophisticated and effective killing machine with the wit and reflexes to mow down entire armies before breaking a sweat. Never blinded by fury, but harnessing his rage behind every inescapable strike. Him silently vowing that any threat to MC or his family will barely get to finish a thought before he's cut them down with precision and grace.

Asmodeus mostly using his extending nails for glorious manicures, but not being afraid to pierce the heart or lungs of anyone he doesn’t much like. He hears an incubus talking shit from a few tables down and stabs a hole through the jerk's skull while never looking away from his milkshake. His fights with Mammon getting 1000 times more destructive as his razor sharp claws bounce off his brother's skin and dig into the walls and furniture. The only thing he hates about them are how long it takes to scrub the blood off his nails afterwards.

*silently contemplates the possibility of Beel ripping himself in half to reveal a nightmarish second “stomach” capable of sucking anything into a blood-filled pocket dimension of which there is no light, hope, or escape* … Okay, moving on.

And of course, for those unaware FMAB Sloth could run at like the speed of sound which was threatening because he was also a behemoth. However, Belphie probably weights 125 pounds when wet, so… I admittedly get a giggle at the idea of him giving Lucifer a speed-of-light drop kick from across the House. That is probably all he would use it for, too. Him just getting those horns out and going into ramming speed… What a menace

Bonus: Wonder what kind of alchemist Solomon would be? 🤔

[666writingcafe]

Top Secret!!!!!

A Group Chat Involving Everyone but MC and Luke

Solomon: It's nearly time for me to give MC their preliminary exam. How many stars is MC up to?

Mammon: you serious, bro????

Mammon: you haven't kept track of mc's stars????

Mammon: old man alert

Satan: Four.

Solomon: Thank you, Satan. What other three virtues have been rewarded?

Diavolo: Gratitude from me.

Simeon: Patience from me and generosity from Luke.

Solomon: So, chastity, diligence, and humility remain. I was thinking of having us play Tail Thieves.

Asmo: I love you, Solomon, but no.

Solomon: What's wrong with Tail Thieves?

Asmo: One, it's a childish game.

Lucifer: ^

Asmo: Two, do you not remember how MC behaved the last time you tested them? They were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND, and it impacted their performance as a result.

Beel: That's true.

Asmo: Any twists you come up with are going to be too predictable.

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: I'm SURE you have a better idea.

Asmo: I do, actually.

Asmo: It involves testing their chastity.

Solomon: Go on...

Asmo: We'll seduce them.

Mammon: that's a stupid idea!!!!

Levi: youre just saying that because youre jealous

Belphie: *laughing emoji*

Beel: *gif of someone doing a spit-take*

Asmo: I'm being serious.

Asmo: During their last stay in the Devildom, I managed to charm them, which gained me access to their deepest desires.

Asmo: They have fantasies involving all of us. Tempting them with those will be the ultimate test of their chastity. If they're able to resist, then they earn the star.

Lucifer: That's actually a well thought-out idea.

Barbatos: ^

Diavolo: ^^

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: Fine.

Solomon: Who's participating?

Levi: mammon and i are out

Mammon: speak for yourself!!!! the fuck???

Levi: if this is meant to really test mc then everyone has to commit to the bit and you and i both know that youd tap out the minute mc looks at you sideways

Mammon: *glaring crow sticker*

Levi: while ive gained some confidence i still wouldnt be able to maintain my composure long enough to complete something like this

Asmo: I will provide the necessary information, but I myself will not be seducing MC, as much as it pains me to say.

Satan: Of course it would pain you to say that.

Asmo: *eye roll emoji*

Solomon: Do you want to judge with me?

Asmo: I mean, I kinda figured we would, so...

Barbatos: My participation will depend on what I'm meant to reenact.

Asmo: Are you afraid it would conflict with your duties?

Barbatos: Yes.

Diavolo: Well, if you're worried about me stopping you, don't. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to sit this out if I'm planning on participating.

Mammon: WHAT??????

Levi: bro

Levi: he literally jumped out a castle window to be with mc

Levi: he's THIRSTY

Belphie: Unfortunately.

Asmo: Not to be the bossy brother, but Lucifer, you aren't allowed to back out.

Lucifer: Wasn't planning on it. I know where I stand in MC's mind.

Satan: You know, I think I might chill with Mammon and Levi. I thought about joining in the fun, but I don't think I have it in me to see things through.

Satan: And before anyone chimes in, no, it's not because Lucifer confirmed his participation.

Belphie: We know. If it was, you'd be trying to one-up him.

Satan: Thank you, Belphie. I TOTALLY wanted that out there. *eye roll emoji*

Beel: I'm in.

Belphie: Quick question: would it be fair of me to participate?

Asmo: Actually, you'd be PERFECT for this. You can argue that you know MC more intimately than ANY of us. You'd know what buttons to push to make them really sweat.

Belphie: Okay, cool. I'll do it, then.

Simeon: Me too.

Levi: lol what

Mammon: ayo, do you even KNOW how to seduce someone, simeon?

Simeon: How do you think I'm able to write some of the scenes in TSL?

Levi: well okay then

Solomon: So, to confirm: Lucifer, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, and Simeon are definite participants, Barbatos is a maybe, and Mammon, Levi, and Satan are sitting this out?

Nine people liked Solomon's message.

Mammon: the three of us can keep an eye on luke. we can either help him run the cafe or take him out someplace fun.

Levi: you know you seem awfully chummy towards luke lately

Mammon: we bonded during our fairy hunt.

Asmo: Then that settles it. Solomon and I will meet with the volunteers for further discussion.

[l-mint-l]

[rdm00n]

Why he '🤓☝️'

[katboykirby]

I see your Babygirl Casting, and I raise you... This chart.

At this point I may as well write a scientific dissertation on the phenomenon of babygirlism and all of it's derivatives.

Using our previous definition of "Babygirl" (a grown man who behaves in questionable and/or problematic ways) and working with the data extrapolated from my existing research, here are the conclusions I was able to draw:

Some subjects are not pictured (such as pathetic/type: malewife [Diavolo] among others) for the sake of brevity

As well, there was one outlier that defied all attempts at classification, and as such was reclassified as it's own unique specimen:

Thank you for your time, gentlemen

[satangcrush]

beel x g!n reader

“I miss you.”

You paused in the midst of your scrolling on your D.D.D, the lowered volume of the video playing softly in the background. It was some cat video that Satan had sent over earlier in the day and you only had the chance to get around to it now.

“I’m here?” 

Beel has an arm wrapped around your middle, tightening it as he mumbles into the crook of your neck. You hadn’t managed to leave the room since Beel fell asleep: tucking him in as you lay beside him, not ready to go to bed just yet.

“What ‘s wrong?’ You asked worriedly, brushing a strand of hair away from his eye. He still hadn’t opened them, making you wonder if he was still sleep-talking. The strong arm around your middle pulls you in and you go willingly.

“You weren’t in my dreams tonight.”

You weren’t sure if he was pouting but it sure did seem like so.

“I miss you.” He repeats, his usual timbre now even deeper and thick with sleep. His eyes weren’t even fully opened yet, half-lidded as he yawned and nose at your pulse point. His arm was starting to cut off your breathing with how tight it gets. 

You drop your D.D.D. and start tapping rapidly on his arm asking for a time-out. He reluctantly lets go, snaking his cold fingers up the curve of your spine instead. Fingers start to thread through your hair, brushing out tangles with silent gentleness. 

You shiver.

“You dream of me?”

He nods, pushing his head further into the crook of your neck. You feel his hot breath and reflexively hold your own. A tuft of hair juts out awkwardly from his head, you smoothen it out and pat it down. 

“I missed you so I woke up.” That was his last sentence before promptly closing his eyes. Within moments, you start hearing him snore.

You stare at his messy bedhair, feeling the urge to tug on it.

“Goodnight..?” You said bewilderedly in the air.

[l3viat8an]

i want lucifer to call mc while dia and barb are in the same room as him, but he doesn't tell mc that. the call is quick, and mc ends it with something cute like "can't wait to see you at home, sweetheart!" and lucifer just fucking dies bc now dia and barb know he gets called pet names

Diavolo will bring it up whenever he can just to embarrass Luci a bit jsksjsk

Barbatos simply coughs chuckles and acts like he didn’t hear it, only to tease Lucifer later.

Oooh!!!!!! Just imagine Barbatos serving Lucifer and Diavolo tea ‘n saying “I hope you do enjoy this blend, sweetheart.” Lucifer’s face has never been redder and Diavolo chokes laughs into his own cup of tea-

[cnl0400]

The loneliest time

Who will you spend the holiday season? You wanted to spend it with your (girlfriend) Thirteen. But she isn't responding your calls! So it's up to 🫵 you 🫵 to investigate what's happening. Maybe you'll learn a side of her that you haven't see before?!

I was a bit mad still that she didn't get any card this event so... I tried to think about a Devilgram I would want to read about her... And holiday season Is a bit rought for people who have nobody so... Yeah.

Unfortunely, I'm no writer. Just a lowly idea guy, so this snippet Is the only thing I can offer 😓😓

CW: Cringe dialogue (chat?) under the cut

Thirteen: Well, I've told you about my time when I was still a apprentice reaper, right? It was christmas season and Candy and I were in the human world. Believe it or not, there wasn't much work at that time, so I was bored out of my mind. I took advantage of a moment when she was distracted to go for a walk, at one point I couldn't help but stare at the Windows of a store that sold christmas stuff, I couldn't help but stare at the snow globes, I thought they looked pretty. It wasn't long before she came up to me angrily, "You don't know how much I've looked for you," "You know you're not allowed to leave without me," "What do you think would happen if people found out you're not human?" Ugh... I can still hear her nagging in my head. I guess she realized I wasn't paying attention, because without asking me she went into the store and bought a snow globe and gave it to me. In my opinion, there were prettier snow globes than this one, but Candy isn't the person with the best taste out there.

> "If you don't like It, Why do you have It?"

Thirteen: Don't you know that it's rude to throw away things that are given to you? I wouldn't throw it away, even if it's a gift from Candy.

> "Do you miss her?"

Thirteen: Eugh... of course not! It's just that... around this time, I can't help but wonder if she's spending the holidays with someone else, or if she's spending them alone like me. Sometimes I wonder if... she's thinking about me? She hasn't called me in ages, so I guess not.

[lvlcurrent]

his birthday tamagatchi

[l0ca1-s1mp]

What do I need to do just to have a plush version of him on a unicorn

[impish-ivy]

Kiss the old man’s forehead here 👇

Very late to this trend but iirc nobody did Solomon and I felt that needed to be fixed!

Link to original artist

[zekeissoreal]

☆|| Levi from obey me sketch

He's my cheeky wee lad :3 (disappears for another 2 months)