#but I know he was a sweet gentle man
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they say that a person dies twice; they first die when they stop breathing and then when someone speaks their name for the last time. and I hope my uncle will only ever have died once
#I don't know what he liked#or his friends#if he had a lover#or what he looked like#but I know he was a sweet gentle man#and the only man in this family like me#and I wish every day he had held out just a little longer#he could've met me if they made medicine for HIV sooner#I would've loved him#and I think he would've loved me too#sorry for getting emotional on my sims blog. I just miss my uncle#nerv rambles
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#my godddd 😮💨❤️🩹#life is so beautiful you guysss#bless Sufjan's fucking precious mind😮💨🩷!!#everything written‚ produced and recorded by him + all the artwork and essays also by him!! he's everything!! ❤️🩹#the entire album sounds both familiar and new (like Goodbye Evergreen is literally how The Age of Adz goes from Futile Devices to Too Much!#sounds very atmospheric and melancholic and bittersweet but also dreamy and euphoric. and very gentle#and there's a sense of urgency and helplessness but the album ends in a very hopeful note which is so beautiful!!#lyrically is so impressive and breathtaking. man the way he feels everything so deeply 🫨❤️🩹#stunning compositions + so much heartbreak and existential despair and unsettling imagery and self-sacrifice#and distress and personal atonement and resignation and so much HOPE and LIFE and LIGHT#and also religious devotion (shocker i know lol)#and the Neil Young cover (shoot me!) is better than the original lol it's just so sweet and hopeful 💐#i really loved it so much!!#sufjan stevens#javelin#📓
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I keep thinking that this Gojo is just like Sukuna. I truly don't see much of a difference between them beyond the human/curse point of view
#If not Sukuna then some other more palatable special degree curses like the one he just killed that talked about the new humanity#It truly looks like that I don't know#Trying to be unbiased about the pretty concepts I take personally#and trying to ignore the silly fact that Sukuna's domain is literally called temple of evil or something (makes one want to ask#so many things like why the hell does he call it such? isn't evil good for you? Isn't a species kind of thing?#Why are you adhering to human notions and conceptualisations if you seem so beyond them and think nothing of them?)#Gojo is quite terrifying from a curse point of view. He is cruel and merciless. He can't be reasoned with and he is playful. He has his fun#His powers are not much different in structure from those of a curse and he said that the power capacity of a sorcerer comes from birth#So it's ontological. It's not just skill. It's an essential differentiation. Just like curses#It's just... I don't know. It's almost as if he were a curse himself. He talks about emotions being the source of curses?#Maybe that's the difference? Was Sukuna born that way too?#I don't know. I keep thinking that he is quite idk monstrous in a very Sukuna way. He isn't terrible like Sukuna is like with the kids#But he is human after all. He does adhere to human categories. Sukuna is something else#And yet Gojo uses the kids. He draws lines and he is caring and gentle and sweet in his way#but he very much uses the kids and is a bit flippant about it. And he is human#I don't know. It seems completely intentional this similarity between Gojo and the curses and Gojo and Sukuna in particular#Sukuna seems interested in Megumi while Gojo seems interested in Itadori and idk I just keep thinking#but I'm not even know about what or how#I find this man very hard to trust haha the parallels are intriguing#I think this piece of worldbuilding has potential as well as their characterisations#I hope the author will do something with all this#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#Gojo Satoru#Sukuna
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“Yes, there is a place where someone loves you both before and after they learn what you are.” ― Neil Hilborn
#gallya#gallyaedit#tmfuedit#the man from uncle#tmfu#illya x gaby#not spn#my edit#idk i was just thinking about them#initially this was supposed to be a napollya+gallya set#but while i have feelings about this type of theme and napollya too i feel like in the context of the movie it doesn't suit them as well#napoleon and illya tried to kill each other immediately it was more of a showing each other the worst bits immediately kind of situation#they learned to care about each other DESPITE all that so they are safe from this. or so they think#i feel like this 'still loves you after they learn who you are' thing will apply later#once they get closer and napoleon starts painstakingly shedding some layers and illya voluntarily lets napoleon be there for him#meanwhile i feel like this quote is 100% the horrifying realization happening in gaby's head at the end of the movie during the hotel scene#that not only illya loved the innocent civillian to protect she pretended to be but he loved the traitor spy too#terrible realization. 0/10. she doesn't want these feelings. evil.#forever obsessed with the way gaby RECOILS when he's being sweet in the final hotel scene#she seeks out gentleness from him when she's asleep or drunk otherwise she is like 'nope NOPE' or at least looks conflicted i'm obsessed#and i feel like she tried to talk herself out of feeling any feelings for him because well. he doesn't like HER he likes her COVER#AND THEN stupid illya had to be stupidly sweet with her even AFTER he knows. smh. how dare he#also off topic but DYING at illya's green hat helping him blend in i never noticed looool#i'm sure he has a whole collection of hats so he can always hide in different environments#god i hadn't giffed in forever i missed it looool
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little collection of screencaps of my adorable stockman boyfriend <3
#egan is unironically one of my favorite russell characters#i don’t care what logic or propriety dictates#if he rode up on his horse right now i’d go with him#like yeah he’s sort of obsessive and jealous and possessive and isolated and all that#but he’s also??? kind-hearted and loving and gentle and patient and in touch with his emotions?#also lonely and definitely touch starved which i could fix#but yeah i think he has no flaws and i love him#that sweater is knitted from the yarn of 100% boyfriend material#anytime he’s tired of riding his horse i know something else he can ri—#anyway#i need to post my egan headcanons#i wrote a bunch one day but never published them#i think about him way too much to be considered normal#he’s just so CUTE AND COZY AND SWEET AND LONELY AND hhmmmhggghh#okay done now#the silver brumby#egan#the man#russell crowe#low quality screencaps of a high quality man
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Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED
#it is a bit rough to be told that the age gap (3 years??) is too big and life stages are too different#and that it would be unwise since im graduating next year#and then be told that he's not attracted to you in that way#and THEN be told that if you were younger he might consider it#but alas that is the way the cookie crumbles#i do value his friendship very much and i am glad for it#but i am also glad he was honest with me#lads if i could choose i would go through all of it again! i have loved this poor sweet oblivious boy for a short while#but it has been very long and very deeply lodged in my heart#anyway i will be okay and im glad i can laugh again so soon :)#thank you for praying for me it really has been a fresh new hell in many ways#and i do love him. i do love him so terribly much#but i know it will pass#also he WAS very sweet about it. very sweet and honest and vulnerable and i deeply appreciated it#part of me is like. WILL I EVER LOVE AGAIN??? and the other part is like. i cant imagine loving anyone else#i kid you not he is the most wonderful God fearing gentle kind man of integrity i know. i love him terribly.#and there is no other guy who i trust implicitly and know i can tell or talk to about anything#so it is hard to imagine loving anyone else. he is so precious to me and just being around him makes my heart so happy#it will pass!!!!!#the waiting room chapter
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i decided to play just a tiny bit of my Inquisitor-as-Tav game I had lined up, and I just.... god, i love this old man
he looks so tired, and kindly, and he's a good head taller than everyone
Lae'zel is so damn tiny next to him, I think he needs to pat her head very sweetly (and then succeed a DC18 dex save to avoid getting his fingers bitten off) (it'll be worth it though, maybe it'll calm her down)
#i just love the idea of this tired dad shepherding a gaggle of mentally ill children#this Ray might be the only one it makes sense for everyone to ACTUALLY follow right away#i mean if a LARGE man who is sweet gentle and roughly my dad's age showed up?#looking every bit the experienced veteran hero/adventurer?#yeah i too would trust that he knows what he's doing#and follow his guidance#i've decided that in this world he's “the Inquisitor of the Dalelands”#and was instrumental in repelling an as-of-yet-unspecified attack on a large swathe of land there#stopped a war and that sort of pish; you know how it is#and he is to Wyll what Hawke was to him#NARRATIVE PARALLELS HELL YEAH#squirrel plays bg3#oc: raymond trevelyan
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making myself tear up thinking about "i'll have ruined the most important relationship in my life" and how angsty it would be if tim and lucy's first fight triggered lucy's fears of her single handedly ruining the best relationship she's ever had like she thought she would, and then voicing those fears to tim later that night when he comes over to apologize and smooth things over with her like, "maybe... maybe this isn't worth the risk after all." — cue tim immediately shushing her and cupping her face in his hands, desperately reassuring her that she's wrong. that they're worth the risk. "you're worth everything to me".
#*and this is icarly!#the rookie#s5 wishlist#5x16#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well#i can't keep doing this to myself i am AT WORK!!!!#i'm looking like a damn fool on the job!#... getting all teary eyed and sniffly over my babies making up after their first fight i- 🤧🤧#i can just picture this man peppering lucy's face all over in gentle kisses while whispering sweet nothings about how much he adores her...#.... how much he wants to be with her#i am not well 😭😭😭😭😭
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Season 1-2 Lois Lane is crazy.
Idk how you can be in the same room as Clark Kent and not fall in love with him.
#lois & clark: the new adventures of superman#tnaos#he is my ideal man#sweet and kind and gentle and smart and good sense of humor and respectful and good morals and a gentleman and has a calming aura#he’s also SO cute and handsome#i know her thing for ‘superman’ has almost everything to do with it#but also Lois doesn’t seem likenthe kind of person to have a crush on a superhero#she seems like someone who would be unimpressed#krista watches tnaos
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:3
#such a sweet and gentle soul 🥰🥰#anthony edwards homophobic compilation#he NEEDS a boyfriend who is as equally famous if not more famous than him#pov you are jaylen brown stammering and pulling at straws after ant asks (tells) you to hang out#and he is staring into your soul with the same intelligence a full grown moose might before it walks onto your car and crushes you#:3 (evil)#(demented :3)#all you know about this man is that he is from georgia and he wants in your house.#it's never even a crazy stalker type situation like this man found out that in some point of your lives#you have shared a state#and now. you must be conjoined. or Crumbled.#there is no other option#you WILL be his friend#you Will.#:3#' I Want In Your House . Please :3 . '#jaylen: i uh i well i i... um.#i didnt clean and uh u know uh. i have so many scorpio instagram posts to like --#ant: :3#jaylen: ........okay.#jaylen just sits at his house being goth and expecting ant to leave but ant just walks around touching everything and borrowing his clothes#he's stayed for so long that jaylen has just become used to his bumbling about presence#jaylen getting a plate to mic their pizza rolls and grabbing a fine china tea cup plate while hes at it#just for ant to instantly oo and admire at while jaylens fixing their food bcs apparently ant lives with him now. he guesses .#ant eds
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i think. ted is a service top actually.
#man would be such a gentle dom. dont get me wrong thats a versatile man if ive ever seen one but like he WOULD make such a good dom#you know what im saying#he's just enough of a bitch he could definitely be firm and a little mean if he wanted#but he's also keen to spoil and be so sweet#anyway realistically they both switch but i personally am most entertained by ted fucking trent senseless lkdjgfgh#sub/bottom trent truthers rise up#but im not brave enough to put this in any of the main tags lmao
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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1 and 16 for the end of the year ask game :3 if possible
1: Song of the year?
probably predictable, but there's no real contest for that one: shisen hold me tight.
16: Post a picture from the beginning of the year
my bestie's cat gently holding my foot from under the couch. taken january 2nd 2023.
#lily answers#juu#he is the most polite young man ever#very gentle#very sweet#a baby#doesn't really know how to meow so he tends to do something like that to get your attention#i can't remember exactly but i was sick at the time (a recurring theme i'm starting to feel like) and i think i sneezed#and this was his reaction#also: i just remembered#i think this was taken while we were binging one of the worst tv shows i have seen all year lmao
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Devon rescuing Andy in season 2 is kind of low-key wholesome, tho.
#he's being all cautious and gentle and trying to reassure andy#i dont know man#its just sweet#devon is andys favorite forever
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ALWAYS IN AWE OF YOUR WRITING ELINA YOURE SO TALENTED!!! you take my breath away every time and i always feel so quickly immersed in your stories!
EEE i am so giddy this series is gonna alter my brain chemistry❣️
Peonies ; part one
Pairing: Theo Nott x Fem!Reader
Summary: Reader is devastated when Mattheo gets a girlfriend and asks Theo to help her get over him.
Word Count: 5030
Warnings: Unrequited love & reader crying. Let me know if there's more; I probably forgot something.
A/N 💌 I am so excited about the first part of this series—it's been in my head for weeks! Big thank you to @moonpascal for reading and editing! I'm so excited to hear your thoughts!
SERIES MASTERLIST <3
Against your better judgment, you’d fallen hard for Mattheo Riddle. And yet, you were fully aware that nothing would ever come of it.
You’d grown up in the same circles, your families often crossing paths at dinners and parties, but you were never particularly close—barely acknowledging each other in those polished, formal settings. It wasn’t until you both started at Hogwarts that any real connection formed. Being eleven and navigating the overwhelming experience of a new school was daunting for anyone. When you both were sorted into Slytherin, the shared familiarity in an unfamiliar place naturally drew you together.
Over time, you’d been there for him more times than you could count. You were the one cleaning his cuts after a fight, always telling him it was the last time because you couldn’t bear to see him get hurt. Yet, each time he showed up, you let him in with an exasperated huff, carefully tending to his wounds. When he’d appear at your door late at night, eyes dark with whatever was haunting him, you’d silently walk with him, sitting together in the quiet of the common room until the tension in his shoulders finally eased. You’d pretend to be annoyed when he asked to copy your coursework, but in truth, you savored every moment he sat close to you—the way his arm would brush against yours as he scribbled down your notes, the warmth of him, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air—leaving you longing for him to stay close just a little longer, even though you knew he never would.
He moved from one fling to the next, a string of one-night stands that never seemed to reach his heart. While you’d never been one of them, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if you were. A stubborn, hopeless part of you clung to the fantasy that maybe, just maybe, he’d one day let you be the one he trusted with more than just a night tangled in the sheets.
Your friends always joked that if Mattheo ever got serious about a girl, it would be you—but you knew the chances of that were painfully slim.
So you were caught off guard when you walked into the common room and saw a girl you barely recognized sitting with your friends. Cozied up in the same armchair as Mattheo. Your steps faltered as you approached, trying to piece together who she was and why she was sitting with your friends. It wasn’t that you were opposed to meeting new people, but your group had never once welcomed anyone new.
“Hey, love.” Enzo murmured, patting the cushion beside him on the couch. He’s the only one who’s noticed you so far; the rest are absorbed in their heated discussion about the latest Quidditch match. You slide onto the couch next to him, your gaze briefly flicking to the girl sitting directly across from you, trying to place her.
“Hey, Enz.” You say with a soft smile, setting your bag down as you settle onto the couch.
“What’s going on?” You tilt your head toward the girl, and Enzo glances in her direction. She’s not paying attention, her gaze fixed on Mattheo with a lovesick expression.
“I’m not sure,” Enzo replies quietly, ensuring his voice doesn’t carry. “Mattheo just introduced us, and we’re all a bit confused about it too I think.”
“Oh.” You murmur and Enzo watches you carefully. He knows about your feelings for Mattheo; he’d have to be blind not to notice.
Enzo leans in closer, and you shift your gaze to him. “Listen, love—”
Enzo doesn’t get to finish before a soft gasp of your name catches your attention. You look over, surprised to see the girl leaning forward with her hand extended. You notice that her other hand still has a grip on Mattheo.
“I’m Veronica,” she says warmly, her smile never wavering. “Mattheo’s girlfriend.”
The word hits you like a punch to the gut. You’re at a loss for words, unsure if you can even find any.
Girlfriend. Since when does Mattheo Riddle have a girlfriend? And why wasn’t he introducing her himself?
You want to question her about it, to find out when this happened and how she managed to get past his walls. Because you had been trying for years. Instead, you sit there in stunned silence, your eyes darting between her hand and her face. Your mind is racing, trying to process the truth you’ve been blindsided by. You’d known he’d never be yours, not in the way you wanted, but hearing it, seeing it so plainly in front of you, feels like a cruel twist of fate.
Forcing a smile, you finally take her hand, the gesture automatic and devoid of real warmth. “Nice to meet you.” You manage to say, though the words feel foreign on your tongue.
Her smile widens, and she shifts closer to Mattheo as if silently asserting her place by his side. Your eyes flicker to Mattheo, whose attention is pulled to Veronica as she presses closer into him. You study his face intently, searching for any hint of his feelings toward her, hoping to find anything that might betray his feelings.
But when you see the way he looks at her—eyes soft, filled with a tenderness you’ve never seen from him before—your stomach churns with a sickening mix of jealousy and heartache.
His eyes meet yours, and he smiles, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Can’t wait for my two favorite girls to get to know each other better,” he says, the warmth in his voice making your chest tighten.
You glance at Veronica as she nods enthusiastically. “Me too, Matty,” she says, her voice dripping with sweetness. “I’m already so excited for the girls’ nights we’re going to have.”
You can’t tell if she’s genuinely that nice or just putting on a show for Mattheo. “Oh yeah. Can’t wait,” you say, forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace. Neither of them notices the unease behind it—they’re too wrapped up in each other, their attention locked in a gaze that makes you feel invisible.
You tear your gaze away, the sight of them together too painful to endure, and instead turn to Enzo. “What the hell?” you mutter, barely managing to keep your voice steady.
“I’m sorry, love, I wanted to tell you before they did,” Enzo whispers, wincing as he gives your hand a quick squeeze. You murmur a soft “It’s okay,” but inside, you’re far from feeling that way.
Desperately, you try to compose yourself, but the effort feels pointless. As your eyes wander, they lock with Theo's. He’s watching you, his expression unreadable. You muster a soft smile, hoping to mask the heartbreak inside, but he doesn’t return it; he just keeps watching, his gaze heavy with something you can't quite place.
You manage to stay for half an hour, offering the occasional nod and murmured agreement to feign interest in the conversation. But your mind is elsewhere, detached from the words being exchanged. No one seems to notice your distraction; they’re all too absorbed in their own banter to catch the distant look in your eyes.
Without realizing it, your gaze keeps drifting back to the couple. Veronica rests her head on Mattheo’s shoulder, and his hand is gently resting on her knee, his thumb brushing softly against her skin. You can’t help but notice how at ease he seems with this physical intimacy—something you’re surprised he’d be so comfortable with.
When Pansy casually asked how Mattheo and Veronica had met, you felt a surge of restless energy. Without thinking, you abruptly stood up, the couch creaking loudly at the force. The sudden noise drew the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes shifted to you, their expressions a mix of surprise and curiosity as they awaited your next move.
“Um,” you winced as the room's gaze fixed on you, feeling the heat of their attention. “I’m afraid I'm coming down with a migraine. I’m going to bed early tonight.”
Your friends’ voices fade into the background as they shout their goodnights, the words scarcely reaching your ears. You speed through the common room and down the cold, empty hallway, desperate for the seclusion of your dorm. Just as you’ve made it halfway to your room, a firm grip catches your hand. Startled, you spin around to find Theo standing there, his eyes searching yours with a mix of concern and hesitation.
“Dolcezza,” he says softly, his voice a gentle caress in the quiet hallway. His eyes follow the tears streaming down your cheeks, and you watch through blurry vision as he takes a tentative step closer. “What’s going on?”
You open your mouth to respond but find yourself unable to form the words. The lump in your throat feels insurmountable. Instead, you just shake your head slightly, your tears continuing to fall unchecked.
He releases a quiet sigh and says, “Come here.” Without a second thought, you step closer, encircling his waist with your arms while resting your head against his chest. His arms come up to settle around your shoulders, and he gently rests his head against yours. As you press your face into his chest, sniffling softly, he whispers soothing words in Italian, his voice a comforting murmur.
You must have been standing in the cold corridor for fifteen minutes before the distant murmur of approaching students prompts Theo to gently pull himself from you. He takes your hand, his touch warm against the chill, guiding you away from the freezing corridor.
“It’s just you and Pansy, right?” He asks, using his hand to guide you in front of him to let you go ahead and enter your room first.
“Yeah, but she’ll probably stay with Blaise.” You say softly, the strain in your voice revealing that you’ve been crying. Theo doesn’t say anything; he’s long since lost count of the times he’s told them off for leaving the curtains open or forgetting to cast a silencing spell. Instead, he follows you into your dorm, the door clicking softly behind him.
The walls are lined with polaroids of the group, and Theo’s gaze lingers on the numerous pictures of you and Mattheo. Your dark wood desk is topped with a silver lamp and a few textbooks, its surface cluttered with quills and scattered notes. Mattheo’s jersey is draped over the back of your chair, and Theo recalls all the times seeing you wear it at each game. Your teddy, a well-worn bear that Theo recognizes as the same one you bring every year, sits at the top of your desk.
The room feels markedly warmer than the corridor outside, though it might just be because it’s your room.
“You can sit.” You offer. Theo’s eyes move to where you’re perched on the edge of your bed watching him.
You’ve kicked off your shoes and tossed your robes over your trunk. He swallows, his gaze lingering on you. Despite the tear stains on your cheeks, he finds it hard to look away, thinking how pretty you look.
It’s rare for him to spend time with you alone. Usually, when you’re together, it’s with the rest of your friends. Over the years, you’ve been paired up in classes a few times, but neither of you has ever gone out of your way to be alone together.
He sits down next to you on the bed, deliberately leaving some space between you. For a while, neither of you speaks. When Theo finally glances at you out of the corner of his eye, he notices you staring at a polaroid of you and Mattheo. It was taken at a party celebrating Slytherin’s win. In the photo, you’re perched on his lap, one arm casually draped around his shoulder, the other holding up a cup of whatever you were drinking. Your smile is bright, full of life, while Mattheo’s is more subdued, but there’s no mistaking the way he’s looking at you—content, almost in awe, as you laugh above him.
He was sure you two were going to get together that night.
“Dolcezza,” He murmurs. You hum to show you’re listening, but don’t look away from the picture. “You know I’m here for you. In any way you need me.”
You can’t tear your eyes away from the picture at first, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you stare at it. Finally, you let out a sigh and turn to him, “I appreciate that. But how fair would it be for me to vent about your best friend to you?”
It’s the first time he’s ever heard you say anything that hints at your feelings for Mattheo.
“I don’t care about him right now. I care about you.” He says, and you look a tad surprised at his words.
There’s a moment of quiet as you process Theo’s words. He’s always been Mattheo’s best friend, so hearing him dismiss Mattheo like that catches you off guard. You hesitate, not wanting to unload all your feelings onto him, especially since the mere thought of talking about Mattheo and Veronica makes your stomach turn.
“Theo,” you sigh, your voice tinged with vulnerability, on the verge of breaking. He can hear how close you are to tears. “Will you lie with me? If that’s weird, I understand—”
But before you can finish, Theo gently takes your hand, his grip warm and reassuring, leaving no room for doubt. He gives a small nod, silently gesturing for you to lie down, and you follow his lead.
“Where do you want me, dolcezza?” he asks, his voice soft. You feel a momentary hesitation, your heart stuttering at the tenderness in his tone.
“Um,” you murmur, turning onto your side, feeling the vulnerability settling in your stomach. “Will you face me?”
Theo doesn’t hesitate. He moves effortlessly, sliding into place beside you. You watch as he slips off his shoes and sets them aside, then settles himself on the bed, positioning his body so he’s facing you. You find yourself holding your breath, acutely aware of how close he is—how you’re sharing the same pillow and could study every detail of his face if you wanted to.
“Thank you.” You say, and you cringe inwardly at the way your voice wavers. It’s as if your sadness is laid bare, impossible to mask.
His eyes gently trace your features, a soft concern evident in his expression as he takes in the sight of you, “For?”
“Laying with me. Coming to check on me,” Your voice drops to a whisper and your eyes well up in tears when you think about why you were upset in the first place. “It means a lot.”
Theo lets out a soft hum, his gaze tender as he lifts his hand to gently brush away a tear that slips from your eye. His touch lingers, the pad of his thumb making slow, deliberate strokes against your skin, as if taking his time. His eyes meet yours, and you watch him with your lips slightly parted, overwhelmed by the unexpected tenderness of his touch. The softness of his fingers against your face feels soothing; you’ve never had anyone touch you like this before.
You shift closer to Theo, and for a moment, he tenses, as if unsure of your proximity. The hesitation makes you wonder if this closeness is too much, but then he wraps his arm around you and draws you in, holding you firmly against him. You let your eyes flutter shut, inhaling his cologne—surprisingly more comforting to you than Mattheo’s—and feeling the warmth of his body through his shirt.
As his fingers move gently over your hair, a calming touch, you rest your head against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat becomes a soothing reminder that you aren’t alone, and soon you find yourself drifting off, wrapped in his quiet of your dorm.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
When you wake up, Theo is gone, and you’re not sure if you’re more disappointed or relieved. Given how you feel, you’re leaning toward the latter. Your head throbs with a sharp, relentless ache, and your puffy eyes serve as a reminder of the tears you shed last night.
You’re nearly done getting ready when Pansy slips into the dorm, her brows knitting in surprise as she takes in the sight of you.
Her gaze lingers on the dark circles under your eyes and the slight tremor in your hands as you fix your tie, “I didn’t think you’d be leaving the dorm today.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” You snap and Pansy raises an amused brow at the agitation in your voice.
“I didn’t think you’d be in the mood to see them.” She heads to her trunk, her current clothes rumpled and clearly in need of a fresh uniform. You don’t need her to spell it out—you know exactly who she’s talking about.
“I left because I had a migraine.” You grit out and she glances over her shoulder, obviously amused and doubtful at your answer.
“Really? A migraine after seeing those two?” Pansy hums, rummaging through her trunk with deliberate slowness, her eyes flicking to you as if gauging your reaction. “They were all over each other last night. Who’s to say they won’t be again today?”
You stiffen at the mention of Mattheo and his girlfriend, your fingers pausing on your tie. The events of last night rush back—Veronica’s hand on Mattheo, the way he looked at her. You feel a fresh wave of nausea but push it down, not wanting to give Pansy the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
“It doesn’t bother me.” You mutter, trying to sound indifferent, though your voice wavers slightly. You force your hands to finish with your tie, pulling it tighter than necessary.
Pansy glances over at you, a flicker of something like sympathy in her eyes, as she drops the amused smirk, “You know you can tell me, right? About how you feel about him.”
You study Pansy, debating whether to finally say what you’ve kept to yourself for so long. It’s only been hours since you basically admitted it to Theo, and now telling Pansy feels like too much—though you’re sure they’d suspected for a while. But voicing it out loud feels like stepping into territory you’re not ready to face.
“What difference does it make, Pans? He’s got a girlfriend now.” You sigh, the sadness from last night seeping into your words. She abandons her trunk, standing up to fully face you, her expression unreadable.
“If it helps, we were all surprised.” She says, her voice unexpectedly gentle. “None of us had a clue he was sleeping with anyone more than once.”
Your stomach churns further, “I don’t think that really helps, Pans.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes scanning your face for any sign of comfort. “I could make her life a nightmare if you want. Perhaps then she’d decide it’s not worth it.”
“No,” you say, wincing as you stare at the wall, feeling the heaviness of the room. “I want him to be happy, and if she makes him happy, then I need to accept it. Even if it hurts.”
Pansy narrows her eyes, disbelief crossing her face. “Are you joking? You’d make him happy—”
“Pansy,” you cut her off, frustration making your voice sharper. “I don’t need you to fix this. I just need to figure out how to deal with it myself.”
Pansy falls silent, her gaze shifting as she takes in the raw pain on your face, a flicker of guilt passing over her expression. She heads off to change, leaving you on your bed, the weight of her offer hanging in the air. You sit there, lost in thought, waiting for her to finish getting ready. Despite her nights spent with Blaise, you both always made a point to walk to breakfast together.
When Pansy finally emerges, you both make your way to the Great Hall in quiet unison. The hum of conversation and the steady flow of students around you create a backdrop of normalcy.
“What did you do after you left last night?” Pansy asks, her gaze shifting from the bustling corridor to you.
“Had a good cry.” You reply, trying to keep your tone light despite the heaviness you feel.
Pansy’s brow furrows. “Darling, you shouldn’t have been alone.”
“I wasn’t.” You say, almost reluctantly.
“What do you mean?”
“Theo came back to the dorm with me,” you explain, your voice softer now. “He stayed with me, just… holding me, until I fell asleep.”
Pansy’s eyes widen slightly, and she falls quiet for a moment, “He did?”
You let out a soft hum, and Pansy grips at your hand, her touch both firm and reassuring. Her eyes reflect a mix of concern and guilt as she looks at you.
“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice softening with sincerity. “I should’ve come to check on you instead of leaving it to Theo. I didn’t realize your feelings for Mattheo were this strong.”
You shake your head slightly, your gaze dropping to where her fingers clasp yours. “It’s okay,” you murmur, trying to steady your voice. “Theo being there helped more than I thought it would. I’m glad I wasn’t alone.”
Pansy nods, her expression softening. “I wish I’d known,” she says quietly. “I would’ve gone with you immediately. I just thought you needed some space.”
You offer a small, appreciative smile, grateful for her concern. “Thanks, Pansy. It means a lot.”
Pansy pulls you into a warm hug, and despite the heaviness in your chest, you can’t help but chuckle at the unexpected show of affection. When she finally lets go, she takes your hand and leads you toward the Great Hall.
As you make your way to the Slytherin table, your spirits, momentarily lifted by Pansy’s support, are quickly deflated when you see who’s occupying your usual spot.
A heavy weight settles in your stomach as you spot Veronica nestled against Mattheo’s side, her head tilted as she whispers something into his ear. His laughter, genuine and warm, makes your appetite vanish. You decide that you’re not very hungry anymore.
You swallow hard, struggling to keep your emotions in check. Pansy gives your hand a comforting squeeze and gestures toward an empty seat beside Theo. Usually, Theo would be across from Mattheo, but today he’s positioned next to Draco. You hesitate, not wanting to assume he saved the spot for you, but then Theo turns and offers you a gentle smile—a smile you’ve never seen him give anyone else. As you stand there, he reaches out with that soft smile, his hand extended to gently guide you into the seat beside him.
You settle into the seat beside Theo, and with a resigned sigh, you reach for some food to add to your plate. Even though your appetite is all but gone, you know it’s important to eat.
Theo leans in slightly, his voice a low murmur as he meets your gaze. “I’m sorry I wasn���t there when you woke up,” he says quietly. “I had something I needed to take care of.” “That’s alright,” You murmur, sending him a quick, soft smile. “Were you able to get any sleep last night?”
Theo hesitates, unsure whether to tell you that it was the best sleep he’s had in a while or simply agree. He settles for a nod, “Uh yeah. I slept pretty good. Did you?”
“As well as I could,” You shrug, “But it was nice having you there.” He can see how flustered you are to utter those words, your gaze fixed on the tea you're stirring, and he struggles to resist the urge to offer to stay the night with you again.
“I meant what I said. I’m here for you in anyway that you need me.” You turn towards him, your expression softening as you take in the genuine look on his face. Your lips part, but you can’t manage to get anything past them. The way he’s looking at you makes you nervous.
“Oi! What are you two whispering about?” Theo’s head snaps toward Draco, who is watching you both with a look of clear distaste at the way you were leaning into each other, gazing at one another so intently.
“Nothing.” Theo snaps out, and Draco raises an eyebrow at the sharpness in his tone. A sly grin begins to form on Draco’s face as he opens his mouth to speak, but Theo interrupts with a low murmur that you can’t quite make out. Draco doesn’t say anything, but faces his breakfast with a disgruntled look on his face.
Theo engages in a lively conversation with Enzo and Draco, leaving you content to eat in quiet. However, it’s not long before Veronica's giggles start to cut through the silence, growing louder with each passing moment. When you finally look up, your heart sinks. Mattheo’s arm is wrapped around her waist, pulling her close as he murmurs something into her ear. She glances up at him, still laughing, and Mattheo leans in, pressing a kiss to her lips.
Overwhelmed, you instinctively reach for Theo’s thigh, your hand gripping it tightly as you try to steady yourself. Theo looks at you, startled by your sudden reaction, but you’re not meeting his gaze. Instead, he follows your line of sight to where Mattheo and Veronica are entwined, lost in their own world.
He drops his fork with a sigh, his hand immediately reaching out to grasp yours with a firm, reassuring grip. His touch is warm and steady as he gently pulls your focus from the scene before you. Theo's gaze lingers on the tear-brimmed edges of your eyes, his expression a mix of concern and quiet determination. He glances at your friends, still lost in their animated conversation, and feels a pang of relief that they’re oblivious to the devastation written across your face.
“C’mon,” he murmurs, rising from his seat while maintaining a firm hold on your hand. With a quick, reassuring glance, he leans down to grab your bag. “I’ll walk you to class a bit early.”
Without a word, you follow him, casting a glance back at Pansy. You silently mouth ‘class’ to her as she watches you with curiosity from over your shoulder. If your friends notice the way Theo’s hand is intertwined with yours, they make no sign of it.
The moment you're out in the hall, it feels like you can finally breathe again. A few tears slip down your cheeks, and you cling tightly to Theo’s hand as you walk, finding some comfort in the steady warmth of his touch. You appreciate how he doesn’t push you to talk or ask any questions, just quietly staying by your side. There's a comfort in knowing he’s there if you need him, without the pressure to say a word.
After a couple minutes of walking, you squeeze his hand and Theo glances over at you, “I’m not sure how I’m going to do this.”
He squeezes your hand back, “What do you mean?”
“Seeing them together,” You mumble. “It really hurts.”
“I’m sorry, dolcezza.” He speaks softly, wishing he had the right words to offer, some way to tell you how to get over someone. But the truth is, he’s still trying to figure it out himself.
“Will you help me get over him?” Theo's steps falter slightly at your question, his heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. He swallows, the weight of your words sinking in.
He glances at you, unease settling in his stomach, “How exactly?” He briefly considers the fact that whatever you ask of him could maje him fall for you more. But as long as it meant you were happy.
You hesitate, your gaze dropping to the floor as you search for the right words. “I don’t know,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “Just… be there, I guess. Help me forget about him. Distract me.”
Theo nods slowly, his mind racing. He wants to say something, to offer more than just his presence, but he knows that pushing too hard might make things worse. Instead, he gently squeezes your hand again, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a comforting rhythm.
“I can do that,” he murmurs, his voice steady despite the nerves inside him. “I’ll be here for you, no matter what.”
You offer him a small, grateful smile, and he can see the hint of sadness still lingering in your eyes. It breaks his heart, but he pushes those feelings aside. Right now, what matters is helping you heal, even if it means hiding his own growing feelings for you.
As you continue walking, Theo keeps you close, his hand never leaving yours. And though he doesn’t say it out loud, he silently vows to do whatever it takes to make you smile again, even if it means keeping his own heartache hidden in the process.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
By the time you reach your dorm, exhaustion weighs heavily on you. You’ve spent the entire day with your head down, avoiding any sight of Mattheo and Veronica. The silence between you and Mattheo feels foreign; it’s the first time you’ve gone a whole day without speaking to him, and you’re unsure if he even noticed your absence.
Unfortunately, you share several classes with both Mattheo and, evidently, Veronica. The sound of her laugh has become something you never want to hear again.
You kick off your shoes, fatigue weighing heavily on your limbs as you move towards your bed. As you pass your desk, something catches your eye—a bundle of red flowers sitting on top of your books. You pause, your curiosity piqued, and approach the desk. With a gentle touch, you lift the bundle, revealing vibrant red peonies. Their rich color stands out against the soft light filtering through the window, and their subtle, sweet fragrance fills the air.
Your eyes catch a note nestled among the flowers. You bite your lip to hide a smile as you read his messy handwriting: your name followed by a simple heart.
please consider reblogging or leaving a comment! it keeps me motivated to write! 💌
#multifandom recs#BACK TO MY ROOTS ->#“Can’t wait for my two favorite girls to get to know each other better” — nah r u kidding me man🧍♀️#girls night? my eye is twitching#Despite the tear stains on your cheeks he finds it hard to look away thinking how pretty you look. — SCREAMING AHH HES DOWN BAD#“I don’t care about him right now. I care about you.” — DOWN BADDD I LOVE HIM#But before you can finish Theo gently takes your hand … “Where do you want me dolcezza?” — HE’S SO 🩷🩵💜💛💙#Theo turns and offers you a gentle smile—a smile you’ve never seen him give anyone else. — I MELTED#unsure whether to tell you that it was the best sleep he’s had in a while or simply agree — AWW that is such a sweet detail#i’m always like draco what are u doing here when he’s mentioned i always forget what era im reading haha#He briefly considers the fact that whatever you ask of him could make him fall for you more. — SCREAMING PT2#VIBRANT RED PEONIES EEEEEE#ELINA IM EMOTIONAL
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So apparently in Nightbringer you gotta pay to date the boys? That's sad but oh what I would give to take Asmo out on a date...
I WOULD TAKE HIM TO MAJOLISH AND BUY HIM WHATEVER HE WANTED WITH LIKE THE $2.50 I HAVE TO MY NAME BUT IDC ILL BUY HIM ANYTHING HE WANTS ILY BBY MWAMWA 💋
If he wants to go to lunch too I'll take him to lunch too! Whatever he wants I'll get him!! I just wanna spoil him!!!! I wanna make him feel special!!! I WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS!!!! 👑👑👑👑
Then maybe at the end of the day we just wind down in bed by cuddling and kissing ouuuuuuuh (We would probably be both shirtless too bc we love skin on skin contact here)
Just!!!!! DATES WITH AZZY MOMOS!!!!!
#👻❤️ wisp gushes! ❤️👻#🩷😈🥂 asmodeus! 🥂😈🩷#hes the best man like hes so sweet and gentle and caring and i just wanna make him feel special#i know asmo would wanna spoil me too but I WANNA SPOIL HIM FIRST#i havent even had him for a month and already im so sappy for him#SOMEONE TELL ASMO HOW MUCH I LOAF HIM
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