#illya x gaby

[heytheredeann]

TMFU + headlines (pt. 10)

[somedeepmystery]

These retreat mentions share more if you are ready and want too :)

I will admit that I’m not sure it will ever be ready to post, but I do have a two sentence synopsis. But the bitch is 375k (absolutely ridiculous) which makes it difficult to fit into any size synopsis.

Elevator pitch: Two people with disastrous sex lives are matched together on an exclusive sex retreat, and the sparks fly. Months later, fate brings them together again but, to have any chance at a real relationship, they’ll have to overcome past traumas, personal conflicts, long distance, and a hidden connection that puts them both in the cross-hairs of a maniac.

(If you don’t like sex scenes, this fic is not for you.)

Getting Illya to go to a sex retreat? I know, I know, friend. It did take work. lol

I want to give a list of tropes but I’m drawing a blank, except for the most important one, lol, the Size Kink. Hahaha! Most important one to know going in, anyway. 😂

Gaby’s owns an automobile manufacturing company, Schmidt Automotive, which she inherited from her foster father. Things are going well in that department, but her sex/dating life is in the trash. All the men she dates end up being selfish/clueless in bed. After a particularly disappointing (insulting) encounter, she gets a call from long time rival Victoria, offering her a free trip: to an exclusive, tailored, sex retreat.

She doesn’t take her up on it immediately but eventually decides that, since she can turn down the person she is paired with, she might as well give it a try.

Illya owns/operates a company that offers security and protection services. His sex life also sucks-- mostly because of his, shall we say, anatomy? It’s more than a little intimidating. It sucks, sure, especially since his last long time girlfriend dumped him over it. **  He is ready to just deal with it, but his partner and foster brother, Solo, is not ready to leave things be and decides to but him a trip to this very exclusive retreat where they are experts at matching people up for sex. Illya immediately rejects this but, after some time and trials, he decides that doing something different is better than just doing nothing/same thing over and over. He decides to take a chance.

After a slightly awkward beginning to their first meeting, things between them go VERY WELL. In fact, it’s almost like they were made for each other somehow. Problem? This retreat was only supposed to be a one weekend deal. While Illya is hoping she’ll be willing to keep in touch, Gaby and her abandonment issues are immediately in retreat because of how much she actually likes the person behind all the great sex. She leaves without exchanging numbers, or even last names.

Six months later, her company is experiencing a security issue. Important, proprietary information has been leaked to the competition: Vinciguerra Motors! Waverly sets about hiring a security expert to come in and close the gaps. And who walks into Gaby’s conference room but the guy she left behind at the sex retreat. The guy she has totally not been thinking of ever since.

ANYWAY - there’s more after that, because it’s like three books in one lol, but that’s as long of a post as I want to make. Writing it all out makes me see how ridiculous it all is. But, in my defense, when I was originally writing it, it was just for funsies, so I wasn’t trying to make it make sense.

Hope that gave you a little of what you are looking for, anon. And it’s not just torture for something that will never be, because I cannot guarantee I will ever post it.

**all the tictok girlies calling out how ridiculous large dicks are in romances/erotica is so funny to me now because, yeah a huge dick seems normal when you read this shit but in reality? Sure. Illya's dick is too big, that's literally the point. *snerk* (Also, I started writing this Dec 2015, friends. And the idea was born after watching Magic Mike XXL, bwahahahahaha!)

[snoweylily]

don't touch me, please i cannot stand the way you tease i love you though you hurt me so now i'm gonna pack my things and go

[triacilgizilly]

Sos Lil bixy

[heytheredeann]

TMFU + headlines (pt. 9)

[somedeepmystery]

I will return to gallya reading just for you for sure!

You are beautiful for this!

Here is hoping I will manage to get something for you to come back for! lol

[trinity-trouble]

i have polls :D

[wesley-apologist]

Someone preferably napoleon or gaby needs to take illya shopping. He clearly cares and knows a lot about fashion as proven by his arguing with napoleon in the clothing store. He probably gets to dress up occasionally for missions but when was the last time he got to pick out something just for himself just because he liked it. Has he ever gotten a chance to by one of the fancy designer dresses he was picking out for gaby for his mom. He probably remembers her wearing something similar when he was a young child. I wonder how he even learned all this fashion knowledge. Did his mom teach him? Did he read western capitalist fashion magazines? Napoleon wears fancy suit after fancy suit is Illya ever jealous. Does righteous anger over the capitalist extravagance help him hide from his jealousy. Napoleon needs to take him to all his fancy tailors (because Illya would definitely need a custom suit with his size and proportions, nothing off the rack is fitting him that well) would the expensive fabrics remind him of his fathers friends that turned on him? When was the last time he had clothing tailored to him, was it before his father was taken, would it bring back memories? Would Illya protest anything being bought for him, it being too much to have such a kind gift for no other purpose than making him happy?

[heytheredeann]

#tmfu#illya x gaby#illya kuryakin#gaby teller#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#he's being so quietly protective and reassuring for her#but he's also about to keel over poor man#I mean he had a MOTORCYLE CRASH ON TOP OF HIM for god's sake#someone get him a cat scan pls#he's staying upright through sheer force of will#god I love him#i also really want him to sit down (via @happybean17)

[bestpolyshipbracket]

Best Polyamorous Ship Group 3 Round 1

[jesuis-melodrama]

Do y'all know how long it took for me to make this list? Turns out I don't even ship that many people and it took hours of scrolling through all my lists of consumed media to compile out which people I actually want to see together.

Bottom right isn't 100% agreeable, but I think it'll be funny if they get together. They did have a briefly canon stint on-screen.

[bartholomew-junior]

we’ll get a sequel announcement anyday now guys don’t worry (its been 9 years) reference image under cut

[milkyway-gaily]

I'm more of a Napollya stan but I do love the canon Illya x Gaby too💕

BTW during my study(?) of Illya's face for my nendo faceup I realized what a good job the makeup and hair team did- Armie actually looks quite different from his usual self as well as other roles he's played. It's very natural and subtle that it's hard to pinpoint the exact differences right away. In spite of that, Armie's exceptional acting also contributed to the transformation!😳

going soft, Peril?

[heytheredeann]

DEAREST (derogatory)

THE MAN FROM UNCLE (2015) | THE WITCHER 3.05

[samanthahirr]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Off the Books (Skyfall AU, 00Q, Explicit, 83k WIP). By far my most ambitious project to date! The James Bond I’m writing as the narrative POV here feels like why I’ve loved James Bond for decades; the stoic spy, the broken man, the hopeful lover, the inveterate manipulator, the skilled fighter, the loyal subject, the shameless hedonist. And on top of all of that, the claustrophobic complexity of an unreliable narrator too busy ignoring his own traumas to see his world clearly. I’m really looking forward to writing the finale of this epic romance-and-revenge tale this Fall!

Please Ask (for Help) (James Bond, 00Q, Teen+, 29k). I think this has been my favorite fic to write. I wrote it based on a super-sweet art prompt of James Bond taking care of injured Q, and that sweetness gave me the excuse to fully indulge in all my favorite tropes: hurt/comfort, pining, and James Bond in love. Is it self-indulgent? Yes. Do I feel a bit exposed by all of the yearning in this fic? Yes. But every inch of this fic feels written ‘for me,’ which I suppose is why I loved every moment of the writing process.

Roman Holiday (Spectre AU, 00Q, Teen+, 2k). This canon-divergence prompt, randomly assigned as part of Festive Fanwork Fiesta, turned out to be the perfect prompt for me. I saw the whole scene instantly and wrote it in a rush of excitement. I’m really proud of the structure and pacing and dialogue and feelings packed into this short scene, not to mention the world of possibilities it opens up for what comes next. In a way I can’t put into words, this one feels like a quintessentially me fic, a perfect exemplar of my style.

Aftershave (The Man from UNCLE, Illya/Napoleon/Gaby, Explicit, 4k). I’m thrilled with how the characterizations and voices turned out in this fic; they feel like they’re straight out of the 2015 movie! For all that it’s an OT3 established relationship, I loved putting Illya into a situation where he has to confront his remaining reservations about Napoleon—the American’s incessant needling, the way his smirks always feel like an insult. And what better time to confront your trust issues (and your partner’s latent trust kink) than when he’s holding a knife to your throat…

A $500 Bottle of Bordeaux (Glam RPF, Adam/Kris, Teen+, 8k). This one’s a real throwback! The first fandom I ever wrote for was American Idol RPF, and even though I haven’t read or written RPF in several years, I have such a soft spot for this particular fic. What starts as a classic meet-cute between a fan and his Broadway-star crush becomes wildly complicated over the course of an intimate dinner party. I love how the four characters all have their own motivations and histories, and none of them are ‘bad’ people, despite the ways they hurt one another; there’s a lot of forgiveness and heart in this fic. The goodnight kiss at the end is some of my most romantic writing, and overall it’s a really hopeful, romantic story that always feels comforting to revisit.

Tag, you're it! @aprettyspy @spiritofcamelot @anyawen @hammerbacks @stinastar @dhampir72 @theserpentgirl