#but I HAD to confirm this was real somehow
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Can't Be You (Deanmon)
Summary: you discover Dean isn't human any longer.
Warnings: angst, demon dean
WC: 570ish
Read on Ao3!
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The bunker was eerily quiet as you descended the metal stairs, the weight of unease pressing heavily on your chest. Youâd heard whispersâSam had been dodging your questions all week, his answers clipped and vague. Something was wrong.
It wasnât until you found Dean in the dungeon, sitting in the corner with his back to the wall, that the pieces began to fall into place.
He looked up as you entered, and for a split second, relief flooded your chest. He was alive. He was okay. But then you saw his eyes.
Black. Endless. Wrong.
Your breath hitched, your hand tightening instinctively around the blade you always kept at your side.
âDean?â you whispered, your voice shaky, like saying his name would somehow undo what you were seeing.
He smirked, pushing himself to his feet with an ease that sent chills down your spine. âWell, hey there, sweetheart,â he drawled, his voice the same, but not.
âTell me this is some kind of trick,â you said, stepping back as he moved closer. âPlease tell me this isnât real.â
ââFraid not,â he said casually, shrugging. âThis is as real as it gets.â
Your heart shattered at the confirmation, tears pricking at your eyes as you tried to reconcile the man you loved with the monster standing before you. âWhat happened to you?â
âMe? Iâve never been better,â he said with a grin that didnât reach his eyes. âNo guilt, no baggage. Just freedom. Itâs... liberating, really.â
âThis isnât you,â you said, shaking your head. âDean, the real you wouldnâtââ
âWouldnât what? Kill? Torture? Hurt people?â His smirk widened, but there was no humor in it. âHate to break it to you, sweetheart, but thatâs exactly who Iâve always been. Demon or not.â
âNo,â you said firmly, the blade trembling in your hand. âYouâre not the person I thought you were.â
He tilted his head, as if considering your words, then stepped closer, forcing you back until your shoulders hit the wall. âMaybe you never really knew me,â he said, his voice low and dangerous.
âI know you better than anyone,â you said, glaring up at him despite the fear twisting in your gut. âAnd I know this isnât you. The real you would fight this.â
âThe real me?â His laugh was sharp, cold. âThe real me is tired, (Y/N). Tired of fighting, of losing, of pretending any of it matters. You should give it a try. Itâs... peaceful.â
Your hand trembled as you raised the blade between you, the weight of the moment crushing down on you. âI donât want to do this, Dean. Please donât make me do this.â
For a moment, his gaze softened, something familiar flickering behind the darkness in his eyes. But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by the smirk youâd come to hate.
âYou canât kill me,â he said, leaning closer until his breath ghosted against your cheek. âNot because you donât have it in youâbut because you donât want to.â
Tears spilled down your cheeks as the truth of his words cut through you. You couldnât do it. You couldnât kill him, even like this.
He pulled back, his smirk turning almost... sad. âSee? Youâre just as weak as I am.â
Before you could respond, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving you crumpled against the wall, clutching the blade like it was the only thing holding you together.
And maybe it was.
#dean winchester#dean winchester x you#dean x you#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fluff#dean x reader#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester x ofc#dean winchester x sister!reader#dean imagine#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester icons
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Boppers, hear me out.
Victor is Luther's father.
Ok, now, you might be thinking: "what the actual fuck are you talking about?" Well, in this essay I'll expose favorable arguments to my theory/theses/head canon that, in the album, the police officer Victor is Luther's father. Keep your radio tuned tight, boppers, bcs I might be crazy OR I might be onto something.
(There will be spoilers)
1. First of all...
For context, Victor is the cop that kills Fox. He's played by David Patrick Kelly, the actor who plays Luther in the original movie, The Warriors (1979). This alone is a huge reason for me to believe that they are somehow connected, BUT THERE'S MORE!
I think we already established that what a character claims to be their reason for doing something is not always their real reasoning, or, at least, not the entirety of it. I do believe Luther kills Cyrus because he enjoys the chaos and has a lot of hate in his heart, as Swan wisely says, but I don't think that's all.
We have hints among his lines that he's also misogynistic and racist. "Well, duh?" You might say, because there were few white men who weren't those things by the time this story takes place, but sometimes we may underestimate how heavy this stuff weighs in the narrative. If he really likes chaos that much, why not kill, Idk, a police captain? That would certainly create generalized chaos just as he likes, but instead, he deliberately targets marginalized groups' leadership â he kills a black woman, a powerful black woman who was trying to unite her community.
She was obviously an obstacle for the cops to keep up with their oppression towards these groups because unity is strength, and all they don't want is strong communities that knows their rights and won't accept to be chased down like animals when they've done nothing but trying to survive.
In the very first track of the album, the question "but is Cyrus atractin' police action?" Is asked. The answer we find further on, especially when the police invades Van Cortlandt Park right after she's killed, is: *yes*, of course she is.
* Also, the timing here is too convenient, don't you think? Just like the police knew exactly when to attack, when the desperate crowd would be disorganized, when they would be easy prey... anyways đ
2. That weird af phone call
Now that we have established that there would be a lot of interest on the police's part to have Cyrus killed, let's move on to the next topic.
Suddenly, without any further context or this being ever mentioned again, Luther talks to *someone* on the telephone. This happens in the album, and in the movie as well, it is not confirmed who the hell Luther was talking to on that phone call. I've already seen some people theorizing that he has contacts inside the force and that he's talking to them, and I agree, but I think he's not talking with some random cop, I believe he's talking to Victor.
Come think with me: how did Luther instantly knew Ajax had been taken by the cops ("Holy shit, Warrior down [...] Picked the wrong fight / now she's in for a long night", I'll talk about this later btw), and most importantly, what exactly was Victor doing at Union Square's station?
Let's compare this approach with Barnes' one at the park.
Barnes was alone in the bench, and only when Ajax approached him (and started beating the shit out of him), he called for police reinforcements. It didn't feel planned, even tho he was trying to bait them to come closer to him, I think it was much more about sexual harassment than him actually intending to arrest them. With Victor, however, it doesn't feel like a random encounter.
"Officers are on the scene". This line repeats a lot during Reunion Square, that alone indicates that there are a group of cops there, like they've been called. They knew the Warriors, specifically the Warriors, would be there, and why was it so important for them to get the Warriors if they're just a "likkle Coney Island crew"? Because Luther would be FUCKED if the Riffs reached them alive.
Of course, the Riffs could just not believe the girls, but he was not willing to risk it â after the phone call, Luther tells Cropsy the Riffs wanted the Warriors alive, but they don't. And he was right, wasn't him? Cleon being alive and telling the Riffs the truth was the only reason for him to be caught and... well, we don't know for sure what they did to him, but we can imagine they weren't gentle.
That being said, we have strong evidence that Luther was in touch with the cops, else he would have no way of knowing Ajax was grounded. And Victor needed a reason to be there as well; not only an informant, but also a motive, and if we consider the theory that he was talking to Luther, we have both things.
3. Trust in the impunity of a daddy's boy
During the entire musical, Luther thinks he can get away with about everything. I atribute that not only to the fact that he's a white man targeting women of color, but he must also have other reasons to believe he's immune to justice of any kind, and there's where I start to try to convince you that he's Victor's son.
I mean, when Cropsy shows that he's worried the Riffs would go after them, Luther, rather ignorantly, responds with "they're looking for the Warriors, remember?" As if the fact that the Riffs are going after the Warriors is enough for him to believe they would never even think about interrogating them, trying to find the murder weapon, etc.
This behavior suits someone that has never been held accountable for any misdeeds at all, and who would fit this description better than a cop's son?
Let alone that Victor is a captain. He holds even MORE power within the police. Being the son of a cop, even if you're a fucking gang member, you'd feel safe enough to do just whatever the fuck you want without even thinking about the consequences.
Like, how many times he could have been caught doing something illegal, just tell the cops "do you know who my father is?" AND IT ACTUALLY WORKING? I firmly believe he was the one to inform the cops about all of this â the gathering, the Warriors' location, and the fact that he needed daddy to arrest the women who could potentially cause something to happen to him, because the Riffs are not the police, they'd not give af abt who his father is, even someone like him would have to be a little worried about being taken by them.
4. Fox & Luther â Parallels
I bet you did not see that one coming. "What do you mean there's something in common between Fox and Luther specifically that makes Victor killing her an interesting parallel with his (supposed) son?"
Well, games. That's kinda it. Old games.
So, there are only two characters that canonically like games in the musical, because they actually mention them: Fox ("A-yo I'll take you on an Odyssey like Magnavox") and Luther (with his multiple references to Pacman during the entire thing and other game expressions, like "I was at the top of the screen when I took that shot")
The Magnavox Odyssey is actually mentioned on the movie (according to my own father. I confess I don't remember this part, but I trust my nerdy father who actually have a connection with old consoles to notice that) by the Lizzies (fem version of the Bizzies), and Fox was not even there at the moment. Actually, movie Fox does not have a lot of... personality, if you ask me, he was kinda irrelevant. Anyways, even if Lin and Eisa wanted to reference this specific part in which the Lizzies offer to play Odyssey with the Warriors to lure them, why not have the Bizzies saying that? Why Fox?
Because that would be a bitter irony in the future. I might be crazy, BUT HEAR ME OUT, Victor killing a young woman that shared his son's interest for games was a foreshadowing for him being responsible for Luther's death as well â because he failed.
This is other thing they share: they failed. Victor failed to stop the Warriors from going home, Luther failed to kill Cyrus and blame the Warriors with no consequences, they failed together at silencing them, and this CAUSED Luther's (probable) death.
5. A gang member who endorses the police?
Ok, this last section is based in my belief that, even tho the crews fight and have their diferences, they all share a common enemy: the cops. That was the reason for them to accept the truce after all, the cops are their common enemy.
But somehow that doesn't feel true for the Rouges.
First of all, they killed Cyrus, which obviously means they were not in favor of the truce. But why? They sure would suffer from police brutality too if they were a normal gang. And we can all agree that they are even more violent than the average gang (I mean... have you listened to their leader?).
Also, this line intrigues me.
I mean, "picked the wrong fight"? It is clear that Luther's view is biased to take the cops' side. In this case, one could argue that his misogyny would play a big part on him diminishing Ajax's will to fight against an abuser. Anyhow, I think that this evidences that, even tho he's a gang member, he has a strong connection with the police.
CONCLUSION
I think we can all agree that Luther has something going on with the police, and I hope I have convinced you that he has something going on with Victor specifically.
It is possible to argue that their connection is only "tactical", or even go as far as to say that they are friends or something (tho, I don't think that's possible. One thing about brats like the Rouges: they don't go well with old people, with all due respect. I don't personally see this working as a friendship), but I'll stand with the father-son relationship till the day I die!!
Thank you for reading this madness and please lmk what you think! If there's something that doesn't make sense, if you have your own theories... I mean, I'm far more invested in this than I ever thought I would be, please give me more content đđ
#sopa talks#warriors musical#warriors album#warriors fandom#boppers#theory#luther warriors#fox warriors#analysis#I don't even know what to tag just please tumblr god let this reach the right audience#lin manuel miranda#eisa davis
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GUYS
BILLY BOYD IS GONNA BE IN THE WINGFEATHER SHOW
aka PIPPIN. FROM LORD OF THE FREAKING RINGS
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS IN THE SHOW BUT HEâS GONNA BE IN IT
AYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Link to the article! https://www.awn.com/news/exclusive-angel-studios-reveals-wingfeather-saga-season-2-cast
tweet from Andrew to back it up!
also I met him once heâs a really nice guy HE SIGNED MY LOTR BOOK AND COMPLIMENTED IT
#the wingfeather saga#the wingfeather saga tv show#billy boyd#lord of the rings#pippin took#WHO IS HE#I NEED TO KNOW#I'm gonna have to meet him again now oh my word#'HEY REMEMBER ME YOU SIGNED MY BOOK YOU'RE IN THE WINGFEATHER SAGA NOW?!?!'#this was. too much for me tonight#but I HAD to confirm this was real somehow#my mom sent me this link and hhhhhhhhh#I'm crying now I'm overwhelmed#I need to sleep#mom why#ANYWAY#I'll be happier about this in the morning ajghkadajfsld
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cluster b tumblr how do i bring up to a therapist or anyone really looking into personality disorders
i've been working with people for the past 11 years and nothing has been working and nobody knows what's wrong with me or how to treat/support me. not to mention i have such a problem with continuing to mask in therapy and such to the point where it's liiike highkey comical ??
i've bought it up to my therapist before but she really quickly shut it down, saying she doesn't like labels like that, but i'm getting a new therapist soon and i want this to be a priority just upfront. i'm really sick of the cycles i find myself in
#not art#cluster b#npd#hpd#bpd#aspd#narcissistic personality disorder#histrionic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#antisocial personality disorder#i know it could sound like confirmation bias i'm looking for but i cannot stress enough how much i've tried to convince myself i don't have#these issues#sometimes i think about it & it's like. jesus christ if this is real I'm Stuck With This. or it's like. oh wow i'm not perfect ok#but on that same note it's like. if i can get proper treatment then maybe i can be as good as i possibly can be#reading other people's advice from these communities has somehow seemed to help more than the doctors i've worked with#its a very similar experience to when nobody knew why i had certain issues until a behavioural specialist said it might be autism#& then i looked into it more and was like âwow this is the first time people have Got Itâ and then was diagnosed with autism
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tcg tournament spoilies in the tags!
#spoilers up ahead folks#you have now been warned twice#ooookay here we go!#kaeya losing to timmie is the funniest thing ever#and the best part is idk if he did it on purpose or not lmao#MIKA BEING A KAEYA FANBOY WE BEEN KNEW#mika also saying kaeya wouldnt like it if huffman was feeling sad about his loss#maybe the real kaeya fanclub was the Schmidt brothers all along#KAEYA SAYING ENCHANTĂE LEZZGOOOO#we can now confirm french people#LANGUAGE MISUNDERSTANDINGS WHEN? I MIGHT POST ABOUT THAT#young kaeya pausing for a moment trying to remember the commons equivalent of some words real#kaeya: where is the... the um... pee room?#diluc: a-#wait even better is if adult kaeya does the same!#yall wouldnt catch him though he'd find a way around it somehow lmao#this also applies to other characters who moved from their birth nations!#Thoma must have had an accent for a while in inazuma hehe
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YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!
MISHA đđđ©·â€ïžđđđđ©·đâ€ïžđđđđđ©·đ
#i loevev them so much did you know that#currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw .........#and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick .#A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff .#that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE...........#so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha.#like that IS her voice right . im not going insane#its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ;#turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears .#and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines)#and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM ..#where theres something just ... sososo off .#and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is)#BUT . augh . auf even .#childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped#(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .)#the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour ..#aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really .#anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED.#uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony .#when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long .#which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious#i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality.#okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people?#and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping)#and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare .#uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but#i hope i got the point across <33#i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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So I was literally just telling my friends about how excited I was for this newsletter that I assumed was going to drop tomorrow morning, and when I got home an hour later and refreshed my email I saw the newsletter and I got to hyped. OMG. the world is wonderful
#personal#utdr newsletter#I have so much to say about it.... i am sorry to my followers who do not care... I am so sorry#this is when I emerge and go crazy about everything. Like the royal guards comic#and the fact that gigi ships soriel and was the one that created the toriel slippers and now they are real. wear them on your feet. now#and the papyrus valentine letter gif with the dog.#Fangamer if you're reading this please send toby fox and gigi and chess and temmie free slippers#also the way toby said âI'm including chess in this one now. Chess come hereâ implying that they are all just in the same room was so funny#and somehow also heartwarming? like they're all just togetheri n person???/ I need more friends omg#yes I will be a bit unhinged about minor details. The year of the bunny and the year of the dragon....#I got so excited about it all that I didn't even finish reading it just yet. I got to ice skate and had to come here to scream into the voi#Thank you gigi. your game looks very cool! I'm going to listen to the soundtrack soon as well. It is super duper cool amazing actually that#they said they wanted to learn to make music in the interview and then right after it is the soundtrack that they made. Amazing#inspiring. showstopping. Also the thing that they yelled âYEAAAHâ about. what are our theories. my instant guess was a ship related thing#like maybe noelle and susie confirmed? but idk#and gigi's concept art for chapter 3???? tv time#okay that's it for now and I will add more late when keep reading and going insane teehee. I still haven't even read all of the valentine'#cards yet.
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tags from @purgatoryandme
one reason i think liu qingge has such great potential is that he's one of the only characters entirely free from the PIDM narrative. because he dies early in PIDM, sqq isn't coming into every conversation and interaction expecting lqg to adhere to a preconceived script. this allows sqq to actually see lqg as a person and for his words and actions to be taken at face value.
i just think this is great potential for sqq to still be completely oblivious or in denial about lbh and yqy's attentions (because he's so fixated on how bad/complicated PIDM!sqq's relationships are with them) whilst also catching wind of lqg's growing feelings for him because he isn't hampered by any preconceived notions of what they're dynamic "should" be.
so give me sqq noticing the way lqg's mannerism soften around him, how his gruffness changes, how he spends more time just having tea with sqq even after his meridians have been cleansed as they start to have civil conversation about sect business. recognising lqg's care in returning his fans; seeking common ground over their shared love of monster hunting (even if lqg just cares about fighting them, can he maybe smash them in such a way that shixiong can study them afterwards?) and discussions on cultivation techniques and the differences between bai zhan and qing jing styles.
sqq who is so just so grateful to have someone in his corner, someone he feels safe with, who he doesn't have to second guess during every conversation. someone who was never supposed to be around by this point in the narrative, and so is entirely shen qingqui's.
#ahhh thank you for all this insight/cannon confirmation!!!#its been too long since i read the novel to remember this but i think my subconscious must have retained some of it somehow#because yes there's was definitely something different about sqq and lqg's dynamic even more so then with yqy#because sy specifically doesn't have that emotional connection to yqy#while i think lqg really was the only person that felt real to him in a different way which is part of why he came to rely so much on lqg#and perhaps if they'd had more time or more opportunity to develop sqq wouldn't have felt he *had* to take such drastic measures#also for all that sy is very in denial of his own feelings and thoughts there's almost this hyper awareness and *guilt* about how he's#got to be selfish in order to survive (which is part of WHY he goes so hard into denial in the first place)#like i just wonder what could've been if sqq had *known* that when lbh came back lqg would unequivocally defend him#and its the only relationship that sqq can be in where i can see a level of equal partnership that isn't fraught and complicated#by the ghost of sj's past and his predestined future#svsss#liushen
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a university called my dad in order to contact me?????
#I told them my school since they said collegeboard gave them info but my mom said to be suspicious cuz them calling my dad is weird so now#I'm nervous#they already had my email on file so idk why they couldn't email me already or ask college board real niceys for confirmation#hopefully they don't hack me somehow lmoa#I've got two factor authentication I think I'm just nervous
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Hannie's đ fixation
Han/f!reader, friends who do something sexual...by accident...? nah, Han is a boob guy and wants to put his mouth to good use
ADULTS ONLY, MDNI, I don't want teenagers reading my NSFW posts
Since meeting Han, your friendship has been touchy-feely.
Maybe itâs because youâre both introverts who like quality time rather than chatting. Maybe itâs because your love languages are both physical touch.
Either way, a night in at your place watching anime is completely normal. Laying side by side in your bed, both scrolling on your phones, not even paying attention to the plot of the show youâve both seen a dozen times.
No one has spoken in, like, an hour but itâs honestly so nice you donât even care.
Han giggles and lays his phone against his chest, covering his bare face as it turns red.
âWhatâs so funny?â you ask, nudging him.
âAhhhh, I need this,â he says, turning his phone toward you. Itâs a picture of a blonde girl wearing a crop top that reads "Had a bad day? You can play with my boobs."
"This would make literally everything better," he chuckles, looking at you expectantly-- in his head heâs waiting for a giggle or a funny reaction, not for what you actually say.
"Good thing I have a perfectly good pair of tits right here," you blurt without thinking.
"Really?!" he asks excitedly, dropping his phone as he rotates toward you, now laying on his side facing you instead of on his back. His eyes are so bright and excited, and his hand is already sliding up your torso-- how could you say no?
"Yeah," you say softly, shrugging. "I don't mind. We're friends,â you add on, becoming less sure as you talk. âI trust you."
"This is the best day of my life," he says as one of his hands cups one of your breasts and squeezes gently. "Oh-- is this your nipple?" he asks, walking his fingers back a couple of inches until two press down over your half-hard bud.
"Yes," you confirm, laughing softly. Your face warms up, all the way down your chest. You hope he doesnât notice given that his eyes are so entranced on your chest.
"It's so cute," he coos, pressing your shirt down flat so your nipple pokes against it. Before you can formulate a thought, he's reaching over to your other boob, squeezing and feeling carefully until he finds your other nipple. It perks up in interest as he touches it, and your breath hitches in your throat when he starts very purposefully flicking his finger back and forth, trying to perk it up.Â
"Aw, come on," he mumbles to himself. "It was hard and then it got soft again."
Probably because I'm starting to get flustered and trying to be calm, you think but don't tell him.
He pinches your sensitive bud between his fingers and rolls harshly, sending a very intense and quick shock through you. You bite your lip to stop a noise from escaping. Your heart rate is increasing and your skin is becoming much more sensitive to his touch. And he smells so goodâŠ
I'm so pathetic. He's barely been touching me a minute and it's making me horny.
"Ahh, there we go," he says happily now that your nipple is distinct through your t-shirt. You watch as a thought crosses his mind, making his eyebrows furrow slightly as his bottom lip pouts.Â
Then he leans down, swiftly sucking your nipple through your shirt.
"Ahhhh," you moan, finally unable to hold it in. You grab fistfuls of your blankets in an effort to keep your hands to yourself. Somehow touching him, even just playing with his hair, would make this far more real than it already is.
"I was wondering when you'd make noise," he says, looking up at you with the most innocent eyes. Then he goes back, sucking you through your shirt while he gets his other hand up and onto your other tit as he turns and half lays on you, working his way until his legs and hips are between your thighs.
He kneads and squishes one boob while sucking the other nipple. Half of this is what you expected him to do-- maybe touch and hold your boobs for a minute or so and then laugh it off. You didnât expect this. Not him soaking a wet patch through the front of your shirt.
Not one of his hands sneaking under your blanket to find the bottom hem.
Not him yanking your shirt up to your collarbones, breathing a soft "wow" while his sparkly eyes take in the sight of your naked chest.
"Hannie," you say with an unsure tone, but he either doesn't hear you or ignores it. Instead he leans in once more and kisses your nipple. He drags his soft lips against your bare skin and breathes in the smell of you. You're so warm against his cheek and he feels completely lost in the selfish pleasure of playing with you.
âDoes it feel good?â he asks, twisting both of your nipples between his fingers. He pouts as he waits for your response, clearly wanting you to say yes.
You nod shyly and pull the collar of your shirt up to hide the bottom part of your face.
He beams up at you, then laughs and pulls your shirt back down.
âHey, donât hide from me. I want to see you.â He licks a circle around your burningly sensitive nipple. âAnd hear you,â he adds, sucking your nipple into his mouth.
You moan softly, cautiously reaching one hand up to rest on his back. He hums and flicks his tongue then releases your nipple with a pop.
âThis really is the best,â he says, giving your other nipple equal treatment. He once again lets go with a dramatic pop.
âThis is my favorite thing weâve ever done.â
He switches back again but goes faster, sucks harder, making himself out of breath as he ravenously indulges in your chest.
âFuck, your tits are so hot, baby.â
âMmm,â you whine softly, turning your head away and covering your face slightly.
âHey, I said donât hide. What, you donât think your tits are hot or something?â
âTheyâre not. Theyâre big but they sag. Itâs embarrassing.â
âItâs fucking hot,â he insists, crawling a little higher so he can see you better. You canât help but to gasp when you feel his hard-on slide against your crotch. âDo you know how many guys like big tits? I donât care if theyâre hanging down to your fucking stomach.â He smirks. âTheyâre easier to get in my mouth that way.â
âOh my god, Hannie,â you laugh, playfully pushing on his cheek to move his head away from you.
âIâm so serious,â he says, though he laughs. âI canât believe youâre letting me play with them. Iâm on cloud nine.â
âI can kind of tell,â you say softly, shifting just enough so he feels the movement against his crotch and knows youâve noticed his boner.
âOh yeah,â he says, face blushing even deeper than yours. âYou know what would be even better than playing with your tits?â
âWhat?â
âEating you out.â
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LONGING ââŠâ akaashi keiji
synopsis âž years of keeping his crush under wraps, and one high school reunion is all it takes for his secret to come out
tags âž friends to lovers, mutual pining, teeny tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, dry humping, a fuckton of sexual tension, making out, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, dirty talking, slight asphyxiation
wc âž 6.3k
The buzz of your doorbell jolted you from fussing with your hair in front of the mirror. You glanced at the clock and felt a grin tug at your lips - of course Keiji would be precisely on time.
Giving yourself one last satisfied once-over, you hurried to let your best friend in before he could start overthinking that you'd somehow gotten cold feet about attending Fukurodani's reunion together.
As expected, Keiji stood in the hallway looking every bit the suave professional he'd become since graduating - tailored slacks, crisp button-down, and sleek glasses framing those intense eyes that had always captured your attention so thoroughly.
"There you are," he greeted, the barest hint of relief flickering across his handsome features as you gestured him inside quickly. "I was beginning to think you got so caught up with getting gorgeous for the reunion that you'd forgotten all about me entirely."
You snorted as he brushed past you into the apartment, purposefully bumping his shoulder in playful reprimand. "As if I could ever forget my favorite human reminder to be on time for once in my life, Keiji."
He arched one dark brow over the rims of his glasses in that undeniably attractive way you'd always envied. "I seem to recall having to put that skill to use on hundreds of occasions during my years as your saintly upperclassman, [Y/N]."
"Yeah, yeah - keep reminding me why I put up with your nagging all these years," you shot back with a wink, hoping to distract from the way your pulse had already kicked up at his proximity.
Though the casual back-and-forth came easily, you couldn't quite tamp down the rising flutters erupting in your belly lately whenever you found yourself in Keiji's immediate orbit. An ember of long-simmering attraction had steadily been stoked higher over the last few months until immolating pretty much every rational thought and good intention you had whenever he was near.
Not that you'd ever dream of jeopardizing the profound friendship you'd somehow managed to maintain with Akaashi over the years since high school. No, you were an expert at strangling those sorts of misplaced feelings down into submission by now - filing them neatly into the box labeled "pining hopelessly for your gorgeous and completely oblivious best friend."
"Hey, I thought you mentioned needing some help with getting all dolled up properly for tonight's reminiscing," Keiji prompted in a tone you knew all too well. "I'd hate to keep the old coach waiting on my account after you put in such...diligent effort."
You swallowed hard at the sudden weight in his molten regard, feeling heat bloom across your cheeks before you could look away. When Akaashi was in one of his rare teasing moods, those beautiful eyes would blaze with wicked intent that never failed to rob you of rationality entirely.
"R-Right, um...yeah." Unable to meet his heavy-lidded stare for too long, you whirled towards your open bedroom door to grant Keiji an unobstructed view of your entire form. "Thought you could help me get into this stupid dress for real this time? I swear the zipper was made for octopus tentacles or something..."
Without waiting for his confirmation, you padded towards the center of the room before reaching up to loosen the soft terrycloth robe you'd been lounging in while primping. With your back deliberately angled towards Akaashi, you allowed the plush fabric to slither off one bare shoulder teasingly before pooling in a puddle around your bare feet.
Knowing Keiji's gaze was suddenly riveted to your ass - all plump flesh and defined feminine curves left clad in lace - made the muscles of your abdomen tighten further with nervous anticipation. For one endless, delirious beat, you made no move to cover up or retrieve your slinky evening dress from where it lay draped invitingly over the foot of your bed.
Only when you heard the slightest, nearly inaudible intake of breath from behind did you finally turn to face Akaashi with deliberately unhurried movements. His jaw had gone slack slightly, those stunning mercury eyes blown wide at the vision of your unclothed figure before him.
"So...zipper?" you managed to husk out, tilting your chin up in silent challenge.
Keiji's throat bobbed sharply, a muscle in his forearm flexing beneath the crisp fabric of his shirt as he drank you in with naked hunger now radiating off him in waves. Rather than answer you directly, he simply closed the distance between your bodies in a few prowling strides - all leonine grace and banked masculine intensity in that familiar way that punched the air from your lungs.
When Akaashi reached for the sleek material of your dress at last, it was with a tenderness that bordered on reverence entirely at odds with his penetrating stare. He smoothed his palms over the sumptuous fabric with whisper-light caresses before grasping the hem and lifting it over your hips in one slow, luxurious glide until you were engulfed entirely.
As the plunging neckline settled into place, cradling your breasts in an alluring swell of cleavage, you watched a muscle leap in Keiji's tensed jaw. His heavy-lidded regard scorched every newly revealed inch of skin with naked adoration - pupils blown so wide, they swallowed up almost all the silvery irises.
You bit back a whimpering keen as his elegant fingers drifted up your sides, callused whorls skating over hypersensitive nerves until goosebumps erupted in their wake. Then those big, warm palms found the dip of your waist, thumbs kneading into the supple curves of your hips with audible greed.
Only when Akaashi reached the small zipper nestled right above the curve of your backside did he finally break the smoldering silence in a rough, desire-thickened baritone:
"Breathe out for me, beautiful..."
The endearment hit your senses like a battering ram of pure sin - turning your knees to liquid and making your belly swoop with sheer, visceral need. But you obeyed Keiji's gruff command without hesitation, releasing your captured breath in a shuddering exhale.
As your curves softened and yielded, he seized the zipper's pull in those deft fingers and dragged with agonizing leisure. The rasping glide only heightened the delicious friction of fabric sliding snugly into every lush hollow and dip from the base of your spine all the way up to your nape's fragile notch.
Once the zipper teeth finally merged into completion beneath Akaashi's shuddering exhale of masculine approval, his palms clamped down over your shoulder blades in another possessive span. He used that commanding hold to tug you back against the rigid planes of his sculpted chest - every inch of your yielding softness compressed against his relentless, grounding bulk.
"Always so diligent about being on time, aren't you?" Keiji growled out against your nape in that rough rasp that made you shake. "But I still seem to recall the trouble you had following instructions properly..."
His callused fingertips blazed a searing path upwards, sweeping away the tousled tresses at the base of your skull to reveal the vulnerable nape fully. Then hot velvet glided over the sensitized flesh there - Keiji's sinful mouth alternating delicious suction with addictive nips until you arched back against him with a strangled whimper.
"So tonight, I think I'll enjoy being extra thorough about ensuring my good girl receives some...firmer correction in that area, hmm?" he husked out in a voice gone smoky and decadent with promised rapture.
The next glide of his velvet tongue over your thundering pulse punched the air from your lungs entirely. You could only whimper and shudder back against Akaashi's broad chest helplessly as he growled in approval - teeth raking over your sensitized flesh in stinging reprimand before soothing with reverent swipes of his scorching mouth once more.
"K-Keiji..." you stammered out breathlessly, nails raking over his forearms in silent pleading. "We're going to be...ohhhh..."
Whatever feeble protest you'd tried to voice fractured into a broken moan as Akaashi hauled you flush against his body again, hips rolling forward to grind his semi-erect cock between the yielding curves of your ass. Rational thought scattered like ashes as he caged you in the furnace of his embrace completely - all searing heat and covetous possession.
For several heartbeats that seemed to stretch into delirious eternity, you simply surrendered yourself over to the frantic glide of his palms mapping every lush hollow and flare of your quivering figure. Each rasping inhale against the sensitive whorls of your ear brought you crashing higher towards blissful oblivion as Keiji claimed every quaking inch without mercy.
Then, just as abruptly as his onslaught had begun, Akaashi withdrew enough to allow you both to draw trembling gulps of oxygen into your scorched lungs anew. The absence of his grounding bulk against your back made you keen in silent protest, swaying unsteadily despite the steadying bands of his forearms anchored across your lower abdomen in a possessive span.
"Steady, beautiful..." he rumbled out in that velvet purr gone molten and rough around the edges like caskstrength whiskey. "Can't go having my pretty girl feeling too wrecked before we even make it to celebrating with the others properly now, can we?"
You whimpered at his dark chuckle vibrating through your hypersensitized nerves anew like rapturous scripture. Keiji tilted your chin back with purposeful tenderness until your glazed eyes could drink in the undisguised adoration blazing in his quicksilver regard at last.
"Don't worry...we'll have all the time we need for me to give you the proper attention you deserve later tonight," he vowed fervently against your parted lips, that same banked promise to stoke your deepest longings to smoldering resonance. "But for now...I intend to ensure we're both right on time for once."
With a final lingering sip of your gasping exhales, Akaashi tore himself away before your needy whimpers could undo him completely. You already missed his solid tether against your trembling frame as he stalked towards the bedroom door purposefully.
Unable to offer more than a breathless nod, you trailed after his powerful figure, senses still swimming in delicious vertigo. At the threshold, Keiji paused to rake one last smoldering look over your mussed, heaving form that robbed you of breath anew for entirely different reasons now.
Then he curved one palm over the exposed column of your throat, exerting the faintest but utterly thrilling pressure against your thundering pulse point briefly.
"Behave yourself out there, sweet girl." The silken purr rumbled straight through your most secret depths with merciless possession. "Or I can't make any promises about the consequences."
With that husked benediction and one final wicked smirk, Akaashi swept from the room entirely - leaving you swaying and utterly transfixed in the wake of his gravitational pull even now. You spent several eternal seconds drinking in the heady remnants of his cologne and virile presence before finally gathering your scattered wits enough to follow dutifully.
As you fell into step beside him on the short trek towards the gymnasium where the reunion was being held, Keiji maintained his usual casual elegance and unhurried cadence. While you steadily felt the blushing inferno of desire simmering higher between your tangled forms with each measured stride shared - awakened and beckoned towards the rapturous dawn now finally glimmering on the horizon for you both.
By the time Akaashi ushered you inside to the familiar, sweeping arena where so many unforgettable memories had first been made, you could feel the weight of his searing stare prickling over your nerve endings in delicious warning. The charged promise of new indulgences and corrections soon to replace whatever faded imprints of nostalgia this night initially promised now seared into the very fiber of your quivering senses instead.
Before you could even begin acclimating to the buzzing energy of friends and long-unseen faces surrounding you both, a familiar loud voice bellowed your name across the noisy room. Your stomach dropped as a blur of spiky silver hair and solid muscle came barreling directly for your rigid position.
Then, without warning, Bokuto seized you up in his arms in a crushingly tight embrace that lifted you clean off the floor - spinning you both around recklessly before planting a sloppy, exuberant kiss to your cheek.
"Kou, get off her already!" someone scolded through peals of raucous laughter you recognized instantly.
Not even Bokuto's overzealous affection could fully distract you from the heated promise radiating off Keiji's elegant frame, however. Over the cacophony of greetings and riotous jeers, you met his hooded, burning gaze across the crowd of old teammates already swarming to pull the rowdy ace off you once more.
Akaashi remained utterly motionless, poised like some indolent yet ravenous panther drinking in the maddening scene of his most coveted prize being so thoroughly disheveled and discomposed by another's hands. Those striking mercurial eyes drifted over your mussed form hungrily - silently assuring you that no audience or mitigating circumstances would prevent him from prying you back beneath his sole dominion and possession once granted any sliver of opportunity again soon...
The rest of the night devolved into a joyous blur of warm reunions and fond recollections after that. You allowed yourself to be swept up in the infectious energy, bouncing effortlessly between your other senpais and former fellow managers while basking in Akaashi's patient presence always lingering nearby.
At some point, the reminiscing led to a boisterous drinking game where various members of the old team were challenged to see who could recall the most embarrassingly scandalous stories from your shared glory days as Fukurodani's underrated secret weapons behind the scenes.
As more and more playful jabs and teasing anecdotes surfaced, you found yourself flush with nostalgic glee - trading wide grins with Keiji over the festivities despite everything left so deliriously unresolved still simmering between you both.
Until, at the apex of one particularly rowdy set of jeers led by Konoha and Komi, someone blurted out the hushed truth that had been skirted around all night so far in perfect blithe innocence:
"Oh come on, as if any of us could forget how hopelessly gone Akaashi was over our precious little manager back in the day!"
An brief hush descended over the raucous scene punctuated by several muffled giggles and sidelong looks directed straight at your dumbfounded expression. Keiji, seated ramrod straight beside you, stiffened almost imperceptibly - spine going rigid as his jaw tensed around whatever measured response no doubt brimming behind those inscrutable features.
Konoha, seemingly oblivious to the charged tension suddenly permeating those nearest you both, doubled over into another peal of riotous laughter as your eyes went wide.
"Yeah right, like anyone missed the real story behind all that vicious guy-liner and constant hovering Akaashi was slinging towards you each game all year!" He cackled hoarsely, wiping at the tears streaming down his cheeks. "My man here was crazy about our girl from day one, we all saw it..."
The former wing spiker reached over and flicked Keiji's shoulder bracingly, still cackling away as if utterly unaware of the bone-deep unraveling now gripping your senses tighter with every oblivious word flung out. As the others around you both rapidly followed suit - jeering and hurling more confirming anecdotes from their firsthand witness perspective into the echoing silence, you felt your lungs steadily constricting in rising panic.
All this time...through the countless memories replaying in high definition and nostalgia alike...Akaashi had carried the weight of this revelation with him the entire time? Your thundering thoughts scattered in a million dizzying directions as you turned to finally meet his profile in frantic hope of...what, exactly?
But before your questioning gaze could connect with his own, Keiji inhaled one low, shuddering breath. Then he rose from his seat with the same leonine grace you'd always admired and revered beyond measure so many years perviously. The curt clearing of his throat cut through the ruckus as efficiently as any blade while also signalling you to remain seated this time instinctively.
As all gazes swiveled towards his towering silhouette abruptly, Akaashi simply smoothed out the crisp lines of his shirt and pants with careful, unhurried motions. Then he directed that weighted, unreadable stare down at your widened expression - full lips quirking faintly upwards in something resembling rueful wryness you'd so rarely witnessed adorning his features before tonight.
"I trust this concludes the roasting portion of our scheduled nostalgia then, wouldn't you all agree?" He intoned in that rich, unhurried baritone that never failed to make your pulse thunder.
Despite the weight behind his words, Keiji simply arched one brow and waved a dismissive hand as the sheepish laughter died down around you.
"Seriously though, we're long overdue to be heading out," he told the group easily. "I've got an early call time at the office tomorrow and all."
You blinked, shooting him a confused look that Akaashi pointedly ignored in favor of rising smoothly to his feet. Only when he turned his piercing stare your way did you hurry to follow suit instinctively.
"Grab your things, beautiful. No need to stick around and get the full nostalgia roast treatment on my account," he murmured, dipping his chin in a subtle beckoning gesture no one else would've noticed.
Heat lanced straight through your core at his husked endearment and suggestive tone - worlds apart from the casual nonchalance he presented mere moments ago. You swallowed hard against the renewed longing already coiling low in your belly, bobbing your head as you scrambled to gather your purse with hands that definitely didn't tremble whatsoever.
The sly, knowing look Akaashi shot you as you drew flush against his side made it abundantly clear he enjoyed flustering you like this far too much to behave himself properly. As chuckles and farewells echoed around you, Keiji steered you along with one large palm curving over the small of your back possessively.
"Good seeing you boys again," he tossed over his shoulder, somehow managing to sound nonchalant as ever. "We'll have to do this without the nostalgia next time, hm?"
You ducked your head to hide the fierce blush you could already feel heating your cheeks, practically stumbling along under Akaashi's casual guidance. A few rowdy hollers from the rapidly vanishing group drifted after you, laced with teasing insinuation you didn't even try puzzling out under his molten stare.
The trek towards your humble apartment passed in thick silence, every inhale filling your lungs with the rich, spicy scent of Keiji's cologne. Each brush of his unhurried footfalls against yours made the heated tension simmering between your forms amplify tenfold - bristling awareness dancing along your sensitized nerves in delirious promise.
You were so absorbed in monitoring the steadily mounting tension radiating off Akaashi, you startled slightly when you arrived at your front door without realizing it. Brows furrowing, you turned to bid him the usual polite thanks, only for the words to shrivel entirely under the sheer intensity of his pewter stare at such proximity.
Rather than offer any cursory dismissal, Keiji leveled you with a look of naked yearning that felt like having all the air sucked from your lungs in the most dizzying way. He took a measured step closer, boxing you in against the cool wood with the solid brand of his chest - stoking the mounting inferno already pulsing behind your bellybutton higher.
"You gonna invite me inside tonight, pretty?" Akaashi husked out in a voice gone low and rough with undisguised masculine intent. "Or will I finally get to experience what it's like having you turn me away after all these years?"
The blatant, ravenous implication drenching each rumbling syllable made your knees go weak. You remembered Keiji's own admission about harboring long-simmering feelings you'd somehow managed to overlook - the thought that you might have inadvertently rejected his quiet hopes so many times before tonight.
"Keiji, I...I didn't realize..." you stammered out through the rapidly spiraling haze of arousal clouding your thoughts. "That you felt that way back then too..."
Rather than respond, Keiji smoothed his palm along your jaw and tipped your chin up in silent demand. Heat poured into your cheeks anew at his scorching regard sweeping down the vulnerable column of your throat purposefully.
"No need for apologies," he murmured in a thread of gravelly velvet that made you shudder. "You're making up for any lingering regrets of mine in spades tonight, aren't you, pretty girl?"
You whimpered helplessly at the dark promise laced through his rasping benediction, every nerve ending hyper-focused on the molten glide of his touch meandering lower to palm your breast through the thin fabric covering you. Keiji hummed his deep approval as your nipple pebbled responsively beneath his calloused fingertips, hips rocking forward in a slow grind.
"In fact," he rumbled out, pressing you harder against the door as arousal thundered through your joined forms alike. "I can't wait to finally get my hands on unwrapping you properly...the way I should've been the only one to experience back when you were all dolled up in high school too."
Your breath hitched sharply at those rough-edged words, swaying closer into Akaashi's scorching orbit instinctively despite the steel barrier at your back. Any last lingering inhibitions dissolved completely as his full lips ghosted over the thundering pulse at your throat in exquisite prelude.
"So what's it gonna be?" Keiji growled out in a low rasp gone absolutely molten with naked promise. "You gonna let me prove how goddamn crazy I've always been for you, sweetheart? Or am I just gonna have to keep holding myself back from doing all the filthy things I've spent years fantasizing about now?"
Unable to do anything more than shake your head in a jerky negative, you tilted your neck in blatant offering instead. Akaashi snarled his deep approval, crashing his mouth over yours in a searing, demanding glide that robbed what little breath remained in your lungs.
Before you could wind your arms around him properly, Keiji angled you away from the door just far enough to delve his clever fingers beneath the hem of your skirt - palming the lush curves of your ass in a possessive brand as he hoisted your pliant form up against his powerful chest.
"I'm gonna take such good care of you, pretty," he growled in reassurance as you wound your trembling limbs around his sturdy frame instinctively. "Make up for any lingering regret or uncertainty on your part, hm? You're not going to doubt the way I feel about you ever again once I'm through with you...promise."
With one last searing kiss punctuated by his molten growl of possession, Akaashi twisted the front door's handle and strode inside with you anchored in his arms fully. You swallowed hard at the blazing promise etched across his ruggedly handsome features in the low lamp light, heart galloping wildly as something profound threatened to catch fire beneath your thundering ribs.
But the words you wanted to say so desperately to Keiji couldn't break free as he wasted no time in marching you straight towards your bedroom without a single fumble or misstep. As if he'd already scoped out the layout and memorized every detail in advance.
As if he'd already been planning this exact scenario for ages and knew exactly what to expect in his most fevered dreams and wildest fantasies alike.
The knowledge made you shiver as Akaashi set you down atop the rumpled bedsheets you'd barely bothered to straighten earlier, peeling the tight confines of his button-down away with deft movements that sent your pulse skittering faster. You reached for him eagerly, only for Keiji to pin your wrists down against the sheets with a soft chuckle.
"Easy, sweetheart," he chided in a velvet rasp that made you whine softly. "I've been waiting a very long time to finally get my hands on you, remember? There's no rush here..."
He smirked knowingly at the protesting noise that fell from your parted lips, trailing his palms up your flanks languidly to trace the dip of your cleavage. When Keiji tugged the thin straps of your dress aside to bare the flushed mounds of your breasts in a single smooth motion, he hummed his appreciation at the sight.
"I want to enjoy every second of you spread out for me so prettily," Akaashi admitted on a low, rumbling murmur before he grabbed the fat of your hips and flipped you over with deceptive ease. "Let's get rid of all this, shall we? Itâs only fair since I was the one who helped you put it on."
Before you could process the shift, Keiji's warm touch slid along the curve of your spine - gathering up the zipper at your lower back and dragging it down excruciatingly slowly. You bit back a moan as the dress pooled around your waist in a shimmering cascade, leaving you bared to his burning gaze once more.
Only this time, the sensation of being utterly at Akaashi's mercy was infinitely more overwhelming than before. You were still reeling from the sudden shift in your reality, trying to grapple with the knowledge that your oldest friend had been harboring these feelings towards you for just as long as you'd done the same towards him.
And yet, you were also keenly aware that the only thing stopping Keiji from devouring you whole and claiming you fully was the last vestiges of his ironclad control. That he was currently restraining himself despite his obvious yearning, waiting for you to voice some sign of hesitation or resistance that would shatter the fragile thread of restraint keeping him from snapping completely.
It made you shiver to think about the untold possibilities awaiting you if you were bold enough to push him past the brink. How far he would go to make you his, to prove his devotion and claim you in a way no other man would ever be able to surpass.
As Akaashi's fingertips brushed against the swell of your ass, the molten realization sank deeper that he was the only one you wanted to push like this. The only person who could break you apart and remake you in the blistering heat of his consuming embrace, over and over again.
"Keiji," you gasped out his name, arching your back in silent supplication as his large hands gripped the fabric pooling around your hips and tugged the garment away entirely. "Please..."
Rather than the teasing rebuke you were expecting, Keiji's breath hitched at the sound of his name tumbling from your lips so desperately. He smoothed his palm down the graceful line of your spine, tracing the dip at the base before trailing along the curve of your ass in a deliberate caress.
"Mmm, I can't get enough of hearing you say my name like that, pretty," he rasped, his thumb sliding against your slick folds and rubbing a torturous circle around the swollen bud of your clit. "You have no idea how hard it was holding back all night...just watching you from the sidelines and not being able to do a damn thing about it."
His other hand curled around the plump mound of your ass, squeezing and massaging the flesh possessively as he sank his fingers into the dripping heat of your pussy with a pleased groan. You jolted as the thick digits pressed deeper, arching your hips back to encourage the delicious pressure.
"But that's just it, isn't it?" Akaashi murmured, leaning over your prone form to press his weight against you - surrounding and trapping you in the best way. "I was the one waiting, while you had no idea what was happening all this time...what a shame, really."
Before you could protest, the hand kneading your ass drifted upwards - gripping the nape of your neck in a firm squeeze, forcing your cheek down against the mattress as you trembled and mewled beneath his punishing grip.
"You could've had me all this time, sweetheart," he growled in your ear, curling his fingers inside your aching core and rubbing against the spongy bundle of nerves he knew would unravel you at the seams. "Had me wrapped around your little finger from day one, didnât you? All you had to do was ask, pretty. Say the word and I would've fallen to my knees right there and then, just to worship your sweet pussy like the fucking goddess you are."
Your eyes fluttered closed as pleasure coiled tight and molten behind your bellybutton, the friction of Akaashi's skilled touch driving you steadily towards the precipice. Keiji's hot, ragged breaths spilled over your fevered skin as his thumb teased mercilessly at your clit in a way that left you shuddering and panting.
"Fuck," he grunted out, grinding the hard outline of his cock against your thigh as your inner walls clenched around him hungrily. "How many times do you think I jerked off to the thought of this, huh? Wanted nothing more than to fuck you right up against the lockers back in high school...fuck, I almost gave in once."
The admission sent a thrill through your bloodstream, heat flushing higher as your thighs trembled at the sudden onslaught of his rumbled admissions. The thought of him bending you over the cool metal and taking you from behind while the entire team changed around you - the knowledge that he was the only one allowed to do that now - had you moaning shamelessly into the mattress.
Akaashi's deep chuckle reverberated through his chest, pressing harder against your neck as the rhythm of his fingers increased to something borderline punishing. His voice dropped lower, rougher with unmistakable lust that made your nipples tighten even more against the sheets.
"But that was just the beginning, pretty," he husked out, curling his thick digits deeper into the molten heat of your pussy and making you cry out. "You have no idea how often I dreamed about this, how fucking good you'd look stretched around my cock...and now I'm finally gonna get to see for myself."
Your breath hitched, a strangled whine tumbling from your lips as his skilled fingers drove you closer and closer to the edge. But Akaashi knew your body too well by now, and his touch vanished abruptly before you could reach your peak.
The sound of his zipper coming undone and the rustle of his slacks being discarded filled the hazy space between your forms. Before you could so much as twitch, Keiji was rolling his hips forward and dragging the head of his cock against your drenched pussy.
"F-Fuck, I can't wait anymore," he groaned, notching himself between your folds and grinding his rigid length against your dripping entrance. "Need to feel you, sweetheart. Need to see how well you take my cock like the good girl I know you are."
"Yes," you cried out, rocking back into his scorching embrace with a desperate moan. "P-Please, Keiji...I-I need you too. I want to feel you, please."
The guttural noise that tore from Akaashi's throat at your pleading tone made your pulse race, the hand anchoring your neck in place drifting lower to smooth along your back. You were vaguely aware of his other hand reaching between your joined forms, and the slick, obscene sound of him slicking his length with the abundant moisture trickling from your core.
"Good girl," he purred, notching the fat crown of his cock against your dripping folds and sinking the first few inches into your molten core with a satisfied groan. "Hah, shit...fuck, y-you feel so fucking good, pretty."
You could barely string together a coherent thought, let alone a response, as he rocked deeper and deeper into your quivering pussy with every measured thrust. Each time Keiji hilted himself fully inside you, his thick cock stretched and strained the walls of your pussy in a way that made sparks of heat flare behind your tightly-shut eyelids.
"Look at you," he gritted out, fingers digging into your hips and tugging your ass higher into the air. "F-Fuck, taking my cock like a goddamn champ, aren't you?"
You whimpered and writhed beneath him, but his strong grip held you in place. The angle left you utterly defenseless as Akaashi bottomed out and started fucking into you with deep, languid strokes - each one punctuated with a filthy, wet slap that made the pressure mounting inside your core even more unbearable.
"Ngh, K-Keiji..." you moaned, clutching the bedsheets desperately and biting back another cry as he leaned over your pliant form to curl a hand around your jaw. "S-So good, fuck...please."
His low chuckle reverberated through his sturdy form, the rhythmic drag of his cock driving deeper as he panted hotly against the curve of your ear. You gasped, shuddering as his free hand wound around the delicate column of your throat in a light squeeze, his other hand braced on the mattress.
"Please what, pretty?" he husked out, a ragged grunt tearing free as his thrusts quickened in intensity. "Tell me what you want, hm? You gotta use your words."
"H-Harder, Keiji," you stammered, arching your back and meeting his powerful movements as best you could. "F-Fuck, please, I-I need..."
His fingers tightened around your throat, just enough to force you to gasp out your next breath. It was the only warning you had before Akaashi drew back and slammed into you with such force that the entire bedframe shuddered and rocked.
"Like this, pretty girl?" he growled out, the punishing tempo of his thrusts sending you teetering dangerously close to the edge. "That what you wanted? Fuck, you're taking me so well, baby...shit."
All you could manage in response was a desperate cry, nails digging into the sheets as you clung to them for dear life. Pleasure coiled tight and hot behind your navel, winding tighter and tighter as he drove his cock into you at a brutal pace that left you unable to catch your breath.
Keiji grunted and snarled, his rhythm growing unsteady as he chased the same release building within your own body. The hand braced on the mattress disappeared momentarily before snaking around your front, and when Akaashi's clever fingers found your swollen clit and rubbed the slick nub in frantic circles, it was all over.
"K-Keiji!" you cried out his name, thighs trembling as an orgasm crashed over your frame. You could barely catch your breath as you quivered and writhed, an obscene amount of hot liquid gushing out from where you were joined and spilling onto the sheets below.
"Fuck," Akaashi's breath hitched, the hand around your throat disappearing in favor of both palms grabbing hold of your hips. He yanked your pliant form back, fucking you through the aftershocks of your release as his own cock throbbed inside the molten depths of your pussy.
"Gonna come," he snarled out, his ragged pants filling the room. "S-sweetheart, can't hold on any longer, fuck...gotta pull out, okay?"
You shook your head furiously, too overcome to articulate anything more than a single syllable as you clenched down hard around him.
"Inside," you sobbed, gasping and shuddering as he snapped his hips against yours roughly. "P-please, Keiji...I need to f-feel it."
Keiji groaned, his fingers digging into the supple flesh of your hips in an iron grip. Your name was torn from his lips on a hoarse shout, his pace turning wild and erratic before he buried his cock as deep as it would go inside you and pulsed hard.
His cum painted the walls of your pussy in thick, molten spurts that had you moaning his name and grinding back into him. The sensation was enough to send you tumbling over the edge again, and you whimpered as you felt another gush of hot liquid spill out from around the thick length of his cock.
Akaashi panted harshly, the last of his cum spilling into your quivering form as he ground his hips against yours. The movement made you shudder and clench around him again, your oversensitive body unable to keep up with the flood of intense sensations overwhelming you.
He hissed softly, his grip on your waist slackening and easing you down to the mattress as the two of you caught your breath. Once he'd slid out of your dripping pussy, Akaashi collapsed beside you - his arms winding around your waist and tugging you firmly against his chest.
You melted into the comforting embrace, tucking your face into his neck and sighing contently as he smoothed a hand down your back. Keiji tilted your chin upwards, claiming your mouth in a tender kiss that made you melt even more.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he murmured, pulling away just enough to meet your gaze. "Not too rough, I hope?"
You couldn't help but smile at the concern in his expression, shaking your head.
"I'm perfect, Keiji," you assured him, smoothing your palms along the broad expanse of his chest and leaning in to brush your lips against his again. "Better than perfect, really."
He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his sturdy form. The arm curled around your waist squeezed lightly, a hand tangling in your hair and pulling you into a deep, toe-curling kiss. When the two of you finally parted, Akaashi's expression was tinged with something far warmer than his usual aloof expression.
"Good, because I intend to keep you right here all week," he told you, the promise making your heart flutter wildly. "It's only fair, considering how long I've waited."
You could tell by the glimmer in his eyes that there would be no arguing with him, and if you were honest - the prospect didn't exactly displease you.
"Fine by me," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and giggling as he tugged you closer. "You know, I can't help but think of how much more fun we could've been having if you'd just told me how you felt earlier."
"Oh, believe me, sweetheart," Akaashi drawled, the low timbre of his voice making you shiver. "By the time the week's over, you won't be thinking about anything but me."
#not proofread#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smut#haikyuu x reader smut#akaashi x reader smut#akaashi keiji x reader smut#akaashi smut#akaashi x reader#akaashi keiji smut#akaashi keji x reader#akaashi keiji#keiji smut#keiji x reader#keiji x reader smut
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Your daddy know 'bout this?
(Don't be fooled, there's no daddy kink!)
Pairings: dbf!cowboy!bucky x f!reader
MDNI/NSFW
Masterlist
Summary: A few days short of your 21st birthday, you decide to celebrate with your friend at the local bar. Unbeknownst to you, a close friend of your dad's is there.
When he sees you with beer in hand and in the lap of another man, things get heated. Somehow, you end up in his shirt, at his house.
Word count: 5.1k
Warnings: pinv sex, passionate sex, forbidden realationship, violence, blood, underaged drinking, slight angst, cum eating, I love yous', mentions of masturation, tension, arguments, slight jealousy and protectiveness, pet names (girl, woman, ma'am, princess, sweetheart)
AN: not yet proofread, might be rough around the edges! Enjoy girliesđ„čđ«¶
It was his one free night in a long time, and his buds pulled him along for a drink. He had no real objections, for he was in a good mood and it'd get even better once he had a drink in him.
The group of men emerged from the damp, rainy night and dove into the smoke tainted air and usual bustle of the local dive. They ordered their drinks and made their way to the back where the booths were, a jumble of familiar faces greeting them on their way. Until-
Bucky saw a face he ought not to see in a place like this. "Excuse me a moment, fellas. I got somethin' to take care of."
Their group turned to him, confused. "Wha-" and looked in the direction he was already headed. "Well shit, good thing her daddy ain't come with us." The group shared a few nervous glances, then shrugged and chuckled. "Wouldn't want to be one of those boys right now."
-
"Well . . . " a voice chuckled loudly.
She could see the source approaching their table from her peripheral, his form vaguely illuminated by soft lamp light through the gloom. " . . . Aint this a sight?"
She knew that voice, she could hear the telltale grin that shaped it.
Catching onto the change in energy, the giggles and boisterous laughter of their small group died down. Tense glances exchanged between them, all eventually landing on the intruder, all except her own.
Commotion continued sounding around them, their table the only to emit an unusually low amount of noise. "Anyone wanna tell me whats goin' on here?" The voice asked.
Swallowing, she realised she'd been intently staring into a cadleflame. She belived that maybe she'd have a chance at going unnoticed if she sat still enough.
"I asked you a question, doll."
She winced. That was his nickname for her. Fuck. She tore her gaze from the candle, snapping it to her friend across the table and gave her a sidelong glance that meant 'trouble' to which her friend nodded in agreement.
The low light that made the place cosy just moments before now only existed to muddle her thoughts. But, it could work in her favour. She carefully pushed her drink behind her elbow, hoping it wasn't too late to hide, and her friend followed her lead.
She turned toward the man, a cheap grin plaster on her face. "Hey . . . Buck," she spoke slowly, as if it'd somehow make him more agreeable.
"Hey there, princess," he grinned. Hat on his head. "Wanna explain this to me?" Pointing lazily to their gathering.
She shrugged, attempting to act nonchalant. Because admitting your wrong would confirm it's wrong. "Nothin special, we were just leavin', in fact."
A scoff blew past her ear. "The hell we are." The lap she sat on stiffened beneath her, tapping his feetâonce, twiceâin a show of impatience, and rocking her body in the process. The man then whispered in her ear. "Who is this guy anyway?"
She inclined her head, nervous eyes avoiding the big cowboy that stood imposing at the end of their table, and murmured a quiet reply over her shoulder. "No one. . . in particular." A lie, of course. "Let's just go."
The cowboy chuckled. "You're not leavin' with him, you're leavin' with me." That drawl could make the most steeled stumaches jittery with butterflies. Her friend must've felt it too by they way she squirmed in her seat.
She had to screw her eyes shut in a moment of contemplation. Why'd he have to be here tonight? Why'd they have to go to a bar he frequented?
She looked back at her friend with panic in her eyes. Boy, were they in for it. She could think of nothing else then to simply ask nicely, hoping it'd appeal. "Please, just go."
He smirked, putting a hand on his hips and showing a stern but playful disposition. "Your daddy know 'bout this?" He tipped his hat in their direction.
She pinned him with her eyes, narrowing them with independent annoyance. "Im my own woman, B-"
'What's it to you?' The guy beneath cut her off.
Bucky switched his attention to the guy, and she could feel him shrink a little under Bucky's gaze. "Hell, no need for that tone! I was just sittin' with my buds over there." He pointed to the group of men Buck came with, no doubt to put some pressure on the poor guy. From the looks of it, they'd been listening in on our conversation, and now waved to her, idly laughing at the situation, ready to jump in at any moment.
She shyly waved back, a tight smile on her lips.
"See, I just saw your little group havin' a grand ol' time over here and wanted to join you," Bucky laughed. "And when I noticed that fine woman in your lap, I thought I'd have a chat with her." He disguised it well, but she could hear the anger beneath his humoured exterior.
"You two know each other?" The guy asked, I'll at ease.
"Well enough." Bucky took a moment to look her over, a scan for any harm. But his eyes stuck on the short skirt and thin shirt. If possible, he looked even more bothered. "Wouldn't you say, sweetheart?" He glanced at her, and she could see the danger that lurked in his eyes. It began to dawn on her more and more how knee deep in trouble she was.
She cleared her throat, a nervous blush creeping up her cheeks. "Mhm," she hummed. It felt like he could see through her.
The guy's hand slunk to the bare skin of her thigh, attempting to mark his territory when seamingly he'd decided his dislike of the situation. "Huh, what's with the hat anyway, you some kind of sheriff?" He asked. But cut Bucky off as he was about to answer. "Either way," he waved his hand dismissively. "She's fine where she is. She can make her own decisions." And just like that, he'd successfully stolen the point she'd been trying to make.
She shook her head. Stupid, stupid boy.
Bucky's face hardened, any sign of humour gone from him. "I assure you, I dont need a sheriff's badge to take her home, It's within my right." He braced his hand against the table, leaning closer to them.
Her uterus roiled at that. 'take her home'
"Now, get that hand off of her, boy." He snarled, annoyance and authority resounding in his voice, promising a solution to the mans cocky demeanor. "She ain't yours to touch."
"Why?" The guy asked. "She yours?" His hand slid higher, squeezing her thigh, challenging the much broader man.
She exhaled, releasing a frustrated hum in early defeat, he'd doomed them both.
The cowboys jaw tensed. Silently, but undoubtedly steaming, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and pushed them above his elbows. The veins on his forearms pop from strain, knuckles turning white from his fists clenching. "Fella. . ." He began, calming his composure, then pointed two loose fingers at the girl in the mans lap. "Had she been mine, you'd be on the floor already. Now, that girl, ain't of drinkin' age, neither is she to be touched by a slimy bastard like yourself."
Fuck, so he did see the drink. She shook her head again, warning him. "Bucky. . ." A very bad attempt at dissuading him from doing whatever he was about to do. She could almosy feel the guy beneath her sink into the booth they were sitting in. Perhaps he had some sense after all.
Her friend grabbed her arm, loosely yanking on it as her anxious eyes flickered between the men in conflict. She herself sitting in the lap of the guy's friend, who was preparing to step in if necessary. "We should go before this gets ugly," her friend whispered.
"Respectfully, ma'am, she ain't going nowhere without me." The cowboy opposed, directing his attention to her friend.
No, no, no no. . . Dread filled her, he'd drive her straight home to her parents.
Bucky's eyes fell back on the guy, now shrunken and small under his gaze. "So. . . Stand up, 'n leave, boy," he spoke with the authority of a sheriff but stood with the confidence of an outlaw. "There's no need for altercations, I was enjoyin' my night. N' I don't wish that to change-"
"I'll call on the bouncer," the guy shot out, his face probably as pale as his overly white and fragile shirt, pointing to a man behind the cowboy. Her eyes followed the steps down from the seating area, and through the dimly lit dive where a big man stood posted by the door. The guy beneath her then glanced at his friend across from them, both extending curt nods to one another.
She wanted to wretch, he was acting a coward and standing up to Bucky with the threat of enlisting two other men to his side. She sighed loudly, making a point for him to hear as she eyed her friend. "Well, I sure know how to pick em'." And her friend, inspite of the commotion they found themselves in, covered her mouth in snicker.
Bucky narrowed his eyes in a second of silent fury, then answered with a laugh, not missing a beat. "You mean that bouncer?" He asked and turned around, calling a greeting to the bouncer, who in turn tipped his hat with a smile. The type of gesture that indicated a longstanding friendship. "We're well aquainted," Bucky grinned. "But im sure he'd love to sort this situation out."
If they had any sense at all, the two men would leave with what little dignity they had left and realise that they were already outnumbered inspite of being 2 to 2.
"Leave, girls," the guy easily dismissed them.
She gave him a pointed look, flashed her eyebrows, and jerked her head to the side in a 'you had it coming' motion, and then grabbed her friend's hand.
"Asshole," she sighed and steered them out of the booth, taking the cider in her other hand. Silly as she was, she thought she could simply leave, perhaps just slip by Bucky. But no, his strong hand grabbed her bicep as she passed by, and set his blues deep into her own. "Wait by the truck, I'll drive ya' home." He said, looking between the two girls.
"Fine . . . " She sighed.
"N' dont even think of running, cause I'll catch ya'," he warned, and she rolled her eyes inspite of the burning that settled in her core.
She tried to yank herself free, but he didn't let go. "What? You wanna hear a 'yes sir'?" She dared the words, teasing, as nervousity built in her gut.
His eyes searched hers, a slow grin spreading over his lips as he leaned closer, bending down to whisper in hear ear. "Dont get cocky with me, girl." And his hand began sliding downward, making her shiver, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch.
She swallowed, that tone, the hat? God. Her uterus purred, and in a sudden surge on confidence, she answered. "No, sir."
He grabbed the glass bottle from her hand and grinned, taking a sip. "Good, girl. Now go." And pointed to the door.
Would it be wrong to say she started salivating? His words, together with his lips making contact with the same surface she had? There was something about it, something that made her . . . Pulse.
Bucky whistled and his friendâthe bouncerâcame bounding up the steps, him along with the group of dad's and bucky's friends only a few steps behind.
The bouncer tipped his hat to her and her friend in passing, a smirk on his lips. Nice to know there was still some gentlemen in the world.
She smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He was quite handsome too.
"Dont even think 'bout it," Bucky warned.
She rolled her eyes, and then they were finally on their way out, meeting Bucky's group of friends on the way, all nodding and greeting her. "Tell your daddy we missed him tonight." One said, and they all chuckled.
The girls hurried off, giggling. But anxiety lingered in the depths of her chest. Those men were rogue witnesses in all of this.
As she held the door open, voices raised behind them. She could see the crowd turning to look in Buckys direction, anf she herself followed their gazes. And found them just in time to see Bucky's knuckles collide with the jaw of the guy she'd spent her night on, sending him sprawling.
-
Plunging into the deep night, the cold swept over them. "He's hot, ain't he?"
She didn't want to answer, or simply didn't want to admit it and just gave her friend a look of understanding.
"God, I was ready to pounce on him the second he called me ma'am."
The girl understood that too.
-
After about ten minutes wait, Bucky emerged from the bar. Unscathed, apart form bloody knuckles and dark cloud around his head. Before even saying a thing, he'd already removed his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I only got one of them. Apologies, ma'am," he told her friend and opened the truck door for them both. "The truck'll warm you up."
"Thats ok, thank you," her friend answered, and the girls shared a knowing look. Their thoughts connecting in fiendish collectivity.
"Alright, get in. We'd better get goin'."
-
The ride was relatively quiet. We knew better than to anger him further. Anxiety was growing within her, though, she didnt wanna know what would happen when her friend was let off.
"Text me ok? I'll se ya' later." Her friend said, eyeing Bucky. She leaned her head through the open window of the truck. "But- let me know how that goes," she whispered. "And good luck." She raised her eyebrows with a smirk on her lips.
The girl rolled her yes. "Sure will." And with one last wave, they were off.
-
When there were only the two of them, they could say whatever they wanted with confidence. But so far, there'd only been a few sighs and breaths of shared irritation. Neither of them were particularly pleased with the situation.
But she wanted to be the first to speak. "I'll be 21 in a few days, Buck."
"Doesn't mean you have good judgement."
She bristled. "I'm not a little girl anymore!"
" 'Course not, I can tell by the way you dress. That what a grown woman look like to you?" He nodded to her body, barely covered apart from his thick jacket over her torso.
She pulled it closer around herself. "Like what exactly? What do I look like to you? A slut, a hooker?" Her face stung from embaressment. She felt like a child again, being berated for something she wasn't able to puzzle together by herself.
He clicked his tongue, jerking his head to the side. His patience was running thin. "Dont twist my words, doll. I'm callin you careless."
"That dont matter comin' from you, you're not my daddy." She knew the comment would get a rise out of him, because she knew he'd ment no ill intent, and she knew he cared for her. But she was mad, and so was he.
"No, n' you should thank fucking god he wasn't there to bust you. I was the better option, I can promise you that."
She exhaled a frustrated breath, turning her attention toward the windshield. Watching droplets of water paving their way over the condensation covered glass. "You weren't the only one to bust me, though, were you?" She spoke lowly, feeling like a coward for even asking. "The boys gonna say something?"
He gripped the steering wheel harder, his roughed up knuckles tearing. "I told em' I'd take care of it." It must've stung, but he took no notice. Other things pestered his mind.
Worry mixed in with all other emotions as her gaze drifted to his hands, and her mind immidetly moved into recovery mode. "So what's that mean, you gonna tattle on me now?"
He looked over at her, brows furrowed right beneath the rim of his hat. He couldnt begin to understand her. "That all you care about?"
"Right now? Well, yeah. I dont want a scolding."
"All grown and still daddy's little girl, worried about his opinions."
"And if I say yes, what then, girl?
"I dunno, m' gonna have to convince you not to."
"Like you convinced that guy to buy you beer, huh? What'd you do, flirt with him? Give him a handjob, suck him off? What did I miss before catching you?"
Her mouth hung open in disbelief. "You fucking asshole!" She shook from anger, she never expected words like that to be thrown at her. Especially not by him. But she'd get him back, there was no reason behind her actions now. "Maybe I would've, I even bet it would've worked if I'd asked you. Right? You would've just loved having your friends pretty daughter gettin' you off, huh!" She half shouted the last sentence, her chest heaving with effort and fury.
"That's enough." His tone was unforgiving, shooting a sense of reality back into her.
"I'll shut up if you answer the god damned question Buck, would it have worked?"
But Bucky didn't answer, his jaw clenched and unclenched, biting back his words. If she thought the silence had been bad before? It was deafening now.
After calming down again, her words hit her like a freight train. She always had a friend in Buck, but now she wasn't sure. The words that'd been thrown back and forth had set them off balance, their entire relationship was on unsteady ground. Something had been rewritten in the rules between them.
There'd always been attraction, but that wasn't something they ever spoke of. They'd always been close, good friends even. But now, something had changed. And it made her feel sick. She'd had an ally in him, but now, she wasn't so certain.
After a long whole of shutting her mouth out of stubbornness, the fate of her father finding out was worse, so she broke. "Please don't bring me home, Buck. Dad'll throw a fit." She tried to smile, to soften her voice. But it felt wrong.
After a moments uncertainty on her part, and strained breathing on his, he spoke. "Im not makin' the detour, you can sleep at mine, that was always the plan anyway." He admitted, sounding utterly tired.
And now she felt extremely guilty, eyes studying him as he gripped the steering wheel harder. Her gaze drifted over his body, his face, his hands. Stopping on the roughed up and bloody knuckles. He'd beaten that guy for her. Out of jealousy, or simply because he was protective?
She turned away, her chest feeling hollow and followed the birches and sprucetress as they flashed by the truck. Their colors and textures blending together as they met the dark consistent sky above them.
Bucky's house was dark, he only lit a few tablelamps when they arrived. It was better that way, she recognized herself here, within the gloom and the safety of his home. It was second to her own.
"I'll get your something more comfortable," he said, his eyes avoiding her clothes, her body as a whole and disappeared into his bedroom.
Was it because he thought they didn't fit her, or the opposite? Had he been mad at himself for being attracted to her?
She nodded slowly, calling out to him, "we should do something about that hand of yours."
"It's fine, I'm fine." He said, re-emerging, meeting her eyes. "Here," he handed here a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, most likely too big for her. "I'll take the couch, n' you can take my bed."
She nodded again, and headed into the bathroom.
Buckys t-shirt was longer on her than the skirt she'd worn, so she opted out of the shorts. Luckily findig a roll of gauze in the bathroom cabinet.
She emerged from the bathroom, a pair of panties and the oversized t-shirt the only things on her body. "You want something to-" Bucky paused as she rounded the corner, and suddenly she herself stopped shortâcaught off guard.
Bucky stared at her, and whatever he'd been about to say was lost the second he looked up. Bucky cleared his throat, and with the weight of a 15 year long friendship on his shoulders, his eyes stayed glued to hers.
Inwardly, she smiled and hoped the lowly lit livingroom couldn't reveal the blush on her cheeks. "Found some gauze," she held the roll up, indirectly asking for permission to bandage him.
He opened his mouth to decline, she could even see his head begin to shake in dismissal.
But she cut in before he had the chance. "Just let me help, you can be mad and still let me help."
His eyes hardened, but hesitantly, he nodded all the same. "Im fine, doll."
She raised her brows with skepticism and made her way toward him, the fabric of buckys shirt doing its best at showcasing her breats.
Bucky clenched his fist in an attempt to control himself, he winced, the wounds on his knuckles re-opening.
"Yeah," she scoffed. "Sure seems fine to me." And placed herself infront of him. From his position on the couch, he had to look up at her. At that, a flicker of heat blazed in her core. Oh, those eyes. His big, pleading eyes, all sad and hurt. Did he want her gone or want her in some other way?
She kneeled, settling between his thighs and grabbed his hand. "You don't got to be so stubborn all the time. . . Just wanna help you." She wrapped his hand carefully, enjoying every second of his corse skin over hers. Once done, he tried flexing his hand, and winced again. He still hurt, that much was clear, but was too proud to admit it. "Want me to kiss it better?" She joked, hoping it would lighten the mood. But he did that thing again, where he said nothing, and instead clenched his jaw, as if holding back a yes. So she took her chance.
Keeping their eyes locked, she brought his wrapped knuckles to her lips, and kissed them through the bandage once, then moving further up to kiss the softer skin of the back of his hand. Again, his eyes were pleading, and he moved the hand to cup her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. She took it as encouragement and kissed his palm, his wrist, his forearm. She stood up on her knees, kissing his bicep and reached for his shirt to pull him closer. She cupped his face and brought him inches from her own, nuzzling her nose against his.
Finally, when her lips reached for his, he pulled away. "Stop, stop," he nudged his forehead against hers. "We can't," he moved his lips away, cheek to cheek, he kissed the soft spot in front of her ear. "We can't."
"Cant, or wont?" She asked dully.
Those pleading eyes were back, begging her not to make him answer that question. She nodded absentmindedly, pulled into her thoughts. She stood up and moved away from him, his hand sliding down her arm and locking around her wrist, stopping her. "Dont leave."
"I'm comin' back."
After a few minutes of bustling in the kitchen, she returned to him. Sidling up next to him on the couch, her curled up legs lulling into his lap as she handed him a whiskey glass, then cradled her own. He whispered a thank you, looking into her eyes, and she whispered a you're welcome, looking into his. Then they sat like that for a while, quiet, unmoving. Bucky's hands finding their home on her legs, glas in one hand and her knee in the other. Somehow, this wasn't crossing a line for them, this was their normal, this was something not even her family questioned, this was them.
"Im sorry, doll." he said finally. "I never meant to imply-"
"It's ok, Buck." He opened his mouth to speak again, but she stopped him. "Really, It's fine. I'd rather not dwell on it."
Another moments silence passed between them, it was uncomfortable, but the unsaid lingered in the air like a thick wall between them, and hung over them with the threat of smothering. "We need to talk about us."
"I didn't like the way he was touchin' you," he said, choosing the topic before she had a chance at it. If he had to approach them, he would do it indirectly. "It didn't look like you were enjoyin' it."
Her eyebrows raised, "You would've punched him even if I were enjoying it." She commented sourley.
He squeezed her knee, gently rubbing circles into the skin beside. "He acted like he owned you," He turned his unscathed hand upside down, brushing his knuckles up and down her sensitive skin.
It all went straight to her head, veins throbbed with heat she didn't know she could feel. All brought out by a single touch of his hand.
But she wouldn't let off. "And what do you 'spouse beating him for it is?"
He stayed silent, his hand turned again, this time to grab her soft flesh, squeezing it with purpose. Much like the guy had done, but this felt different. This felt good, real good.
She swallowed, closing her eyes to focus on the words she needed to say. "What made you think you had the right? If not that I already belonged toâ" she stopped, and their eyes met in a quick glance.
He let out a frustrated sigh. "I was only protectin' you." He defended, but it didn't quite sound like he believed the words himself. Nor did she. But if he wasn't ready to see it as it was, she wouldn't pressure him.
Instead, she laid her head on his shoulder. "It shouldn't be this hard."
He shook his head, the words seemingly struck a cord within him. For he sat insilence, pondering, a long while. "I would've said no, you know. And it would've killed me." She looked at him strangely, forgetting what he was referring to for a moment. "I would've said yes, if you hadn't felt forced to it, like it was a last resort to keep your secret."
Oh. . . "Had I wanted it, you'd said yes?" She stared unbelieving into the dark space infront of them.
"Nothin' could stand in my way." He slid his hand further up her thigh, fingers exploring the skin just beneath the hem of his/her shirt.
She sat up straight to look at him properly, she couldn't tell if he was serious. "You want me?"
"More than anything," his voice was breathless, barely a whisper. His index and long finger reaching further up, exploring more than he'd ever dared. "Cant even explain how many times I imagined you gettin' me off after you said it. How much I hated the thought, the sight of you with that guy, his hands all on you."
A pang of need shot through her. She put her whiskey down, and braced her hands against his chest. "But why tell me now, whats changed? Whats changed in this last hour?" His fingers rubbed the skin of her hips beneath her panties, sending shivers running over her body, shivers she'd only previously dreamed he'd be the cause of.
"You're right, it shouldn't be this hard. I'm makin' it too hard." His hand slid to her waist, still invisible to him, but no longer untouchable. Magnetically, they were pulled together, faces inching closer and closer to oneanother.
"And what about daddy?" It was becoming hard to focus, she wouldn't stop him for the world. Bow, they were close enough to feel the dampness of their breaths.
His hand continued exploring farthur up, fingertips finally reaching the soft, plush flesh below her breast. "Your daddy ain't here, is he?"
She began shaking her head in disbelief, lips brushing against eachother. "Dont promise something if you can't follow through."
His hand stopped, "I can, please," he begged, waiting for her go-ahead. "I can. . ."
His words vibrated against her skin, electrifying her body. "Fuck," she moaned, he's right there. Right, there, infront of her, for her. "Then do, please do, Buck."
And just like that, both hands were beneath her shirt, pulling her into his lips and squeezing her breasts.
Breathless moans filled the silent air, they tore at eachother greedily. Pulling and pushing eachothers bodies, fighting to get Bucky free of his clothes.
Snaking one arm behind her back, he guided her down onto cushions and placed himself above her. Still clothed by jeans, he rolled his hips against her core, grinding the rough fabric against her barely clothed clit. This, is what she had been craving. The exact static friction, the heat and movement between their bodies producing all the pleasure she needed. She moaned heavily, beacause still, she wanted more. Pulling her legs up and her panties off, she wordlessly signaled for him to do the rest.
With a groan, Bucky dove into her neck, kissing and sucking, all the while he unzipped his jeans and pulled them off together with his boxers. No time was wasted, he lined his member up with her core within a second, prodding and teasing at the opening. "Please, please, please." She sounded desperate, but fuck, she was. And feeling it was worse then sounding it.
"Yes ma'am." He said, and thrusted into her. A gasp escaped them in unisome. With the arm still around her waist, he pulled her into his hips, his body straining as he delved deeper inside her than she thought possible.
"Yes. . ." She whined. "More."
He kissed his way up her throat, their hips freed and collided into eachother with steady, strong thrusts, pushing her deeper into the cushions with every rut. Nothing could compare, he was unparalleled. Bucky, despite what he was already achieving, kissed his way up her neck, unfaltering in his duty.
Her hands found his face, cupping it and bringing him back to her, and their lips met again. "Taste so sweet," he murmured, sinking his tongue into her. The salt of her skin mixing with her saliva. "Want all of you."
She smiled against him. "Harder."
He did as ordered, keeping his pace and adding pressure. "Yeah," he moaned. "Being so good for me, girl." And pulled her deeper onto his member. Her breaths grew rapid and shallow, fingers clawing at his back as she had nowhere to go, all pleasure directed straight into her. "Close, so fucking close," she cried.
"Good," he chuckled breathely against her skin, and that was a she needed. Her back arched in euphoria, and stars stung her eyelids, speckling the darkness. "Good job, sweetheart. Just breathe," he continued thrusting into her, softly, easing her through the orgasm. "Good girl. Well done. . ." He whispered, kissing her jaw. The stars began fading and she regained her senses, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Beautiful, girl." He moaned, still rutting into her, chasing his own high while wiping the tears from her face. Her body began tingling, on the vege of breaking down.
"Dont know how much more I can take, Buck." She kissed his cheek, focusing on the skill of his lips.
"Almost there, almost. . ." he moaned, increasing his pace. The slickness of her core created a sickening sound together with the slapping of their skin. It was heavenly, but she could feel the pressure building within her again.
"Mmmh, m' gonna cum again, please buck, dont stop."
He didn't, he continued, intent on coming together with her. He bit into her lip, causing her to yelp and yield the hold on his face and licked a trail down her chest and breast, then taking it into his mouth. Sucking and slurping in an insane rythm with the slapping. "Yes, yes! Fuck, Bucky." she called out, and Bucky pulled out of her.
Coming only a second after, his seed spilling over her abdomen. "I love you, I love you." He moaned with faltering breaths, bracing himself on his forearms on either side of her, kissing every part of skin that he could reach.
Holy shit? "I love you too." She smiled lazily, drunk off of her two consequent orgasms. Laying her hand on her stumache, she felt his sticky substance coat her fingers.
His eyebrows knit together in guilt. "Sorry 'bout that sweetheart, I'll get a towel-"
She grabbed his bicep and shook her head, locking her eyes onto his as she brought the fingers to her lips and licked them off, popping them in her mouth to suck them clean.
Bucky stared, unable to form words.
"Cat got your tongue, cowboy?" She asked, a coy smile on her glistenting lips.
"Fuck," he awed breathlessly. "I just love you." He whispered, lowering himself onto her once again, this time striking his tongue into her core.
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#bucky#bucky smut#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky imagine#bucky fanfiction#dbf!bucky smut#cowboy!bucky smut
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A Caged Bird (Coriolanus Snow x Reader)
WARNINGS: NON-CON, blackmail, stalking, abuse of power, hints of dacryphilia, slightly spoiler-esque
summary: Birds are best kept in a cage where one can see them...and where you know where they are at all times.
~
You thought that it was over when you won.
Thatâs what winning The Hunger Games meant, right? The psychological torture, the grueling conditions, and the fear that wouldnât leave you until you finally left the arena was supposed to be over. You made it out through blood, sweat, and tears, and so your reward was to go home and reunite with your family and try your best to put the memories behind you.
Try your best to put him behind you.
So, why were you still being tormented?
When you first locked eyes with Coriolanus Snow, your first thought was how strikingly blue his were. Almost as if they werenât real and had been specially manufactured in The Capitol for him, somehow. His hair, too, was just so much blonder than anything youâd seen in District 12, and again, you noted how so much about him seemedâŠartificial.
âŠbut then he spokeâŠand the effect his voice had on you was very real.
âYou donât seem like youâre supposed to be here,â youâd said to him after stepping off of that train.
His response was expected, a charming chuckle leaving his pink lips, blond curls the perfect addition to his features.
âIâm not,â he slowly admitted.
The intensity behind his gaze whenever he so much as glanced at you was enough to make any girlâs heart race, and despite what you wished, you werenât immune. He was beautifulâgorgeous as some of the other tributes and mentors liked to call himâand despite the initial intimidation, there was something about him that made you want to let your guard down.
âŠbut he was your mentorâŠand a capitol citizenâŠand you were nothing more than his ticket to notoriety.
âDonât you know who his dad was?â another tribute, one from one of the better districts, had said to you in a tone like you were stupid.
That was all the confirmation you needed, really.
âŠbut heâd hopped onto the truck with you and gotten into that cage with you and brought you and your district mate food. He gave you poison to use against the other tributes. He wanted you to appeal to the audience so heâd have the funds to send you supplies. It was hard to decipher what was purely for show and what was just because he wanted youâand him by extensionâto win. Perhaps, they were one in the same though, and it was impossible to have one without the other. Maybe it didnât matter his reasons behind his desire to have his tribute win.
Maybe all that mattered was that youâd win.
âŠbut that was when you thought winning meant youâd be free.
Coriolanus Snow was your best chance at winning, and so when the rebels rigged the arena, you didnât hesitate to stay behind and save him. It wasnât even a question in your mind because mentor or not, he was hurt, and you had to believe that that one fluke was not your only fighting chance. You couldnât allow yourself to believe that in saving him, youâd allowed freedom to pass you by.
âYou saved me,â he told you, a gentle brush of his handkerchief under your eye to catch your tears. âYou saved me, and I am going to get you out of here.â
You had no idea then that he meant out of the gamesâŠand to him.
It was that flickering moment of doubt where you wondered if you could actually win, and you recalled what youâd said to him earlier about believing you could, how much you needed him to actually believe it. Now, you were the one doubting, and he could see it, blue gaze flicking over your face and soaking in the fear and uncertainty, because if you couldnât winâŠ
Youâd die.
A lingering gaze and a tense atmosphere, and you felt yourself pulling back, realization hitting you as to just what you were about to let happen. It was hard to decipher who overstepped first, but you couldnât allow yourself to get wrapped up in something that was only ever meant to be strictly professional. Coriolanus was your mentor, and you were his tribute.
That was all.
You didnât know then the full lengths he went to just to ensure your victory. How could you? You were too busy trying to survive, trying to fight off rabid tributes and teenagers driven mad with the sole desire to just live. It was all so unfair and angering, and you were sure that with less focus, you mightâve gone insane too. You didnât have the luxury to worry about your eerily handsome mentor and whatever ulterior motives he mightâve had to see you beat this thing.
So, when you did win, all you could feel was relief. All you could focus on was your family and their faces when youâd ultimately reunite with them. All you could even entertain were thoughts of pushing this very real nightmare to the back of your mind for as long as you possibly could. Initially, you didnât even notice that you werenât immediately reunited with your mentor when they crowned you as the winner and got you out of there.
At least, not until you came face to face with him in your own district.
âI thought theyâd killed you. I didnât know if my actions had come back on you too,â Coriolanus told you in a secluded corner, the loud music drowning out his words and the cover of darkness hiding your faces.
Those beautiful pale curls were gone, and any thought that so much of his beauty relied on his golden locks was gone too with one drink of him. He was still the same handsome boy that mentored you, the same one whoâd garnered the nickname âgorgeousâ among the other tributes. Up on that stage, youâd been thrown to meet a familiar gaze, your harmonious tune pausing for half a second as he met your shocked stare with an expression of his own you couldnât place, pink lips curved upwards ever so slightly.
Any question of how and why he was here had disappeared as you registered his words. Confusion filled you as you stared at him, a slight frown between your brows as you wracked your brain for how that could possibly make sense.
âWhy would they kill meâŠ?â you slowly asked him, and you and the shadows were all that was privy to his confession.
The water bottles, the handkerchief, and the snakesâeven the poison. Coriolanus had cheated to secure your victory, broken rules that plucked him out of The Capitol and dropped him here in your very own district as a Peacekeeper. The shock you felt that your victory was far from a fair one warred with the confusion you felt as to why heâd risk everything just for you to win.
If youâd lost fair and squareâas you probably should haveâthere was no doubt in your mind that heâd be safely tucked away in the lavishness of The Capitol instead of lingering about in some rundown excuse for a bar in lowly District 12. If he knew what awaited him should his treachery be discoveredâŠthen why chance it? Nothing about your brief tutelage with him could justify what heâd risked and ultimately lost.
You wanted to ask him why, but something in you was afraid of the answer.
That almost kissâa kiss you hadnât thought about in monthsâsuddenly came to mind, and even though you didnât ask him why, something in you knew why even if you wanted to deny it. It was there in the dim lighting and rowdy atmosphere of some rundown building that every minor interaction didnât start to feel so minor.
Every brush of his hand against yours as he reached for you, the unsettling way he seemed to watch you in that short time that youâd simply written off as concern for his tribute, and the ruthless desire to see you out on the other side of the arena. The kiss that never was only seemed like a lapse in judgement to you then, but in this moment, you had suspicions that it was very much intentional.
You swallowed, realizing that in that brief internal introspection, Coriolanus hadnât taken his eyes off of you once.
âDid they send you to District 12?â you finally asked him.
You didnât know what gave you away. Perhaps your tone, maybe your face, or maybe your eyes werenât as secretive as youâd like to believe. Either way, something about your visage and demeanor gave the blond man pause, head tilting just a tad as those baby blues glinted with something you didnât recognize but you know you didnât like. He studied your face before coming up with the answer he probably thought you wanted.
âOf course.â
You didnât know if you believed him.
âŠand Coriolanus could tell.
Youâd played enough cat and mouse games in the arenaâyou never thought youâd have to play them in your own home too.
Starving off the affections of some boy in your district wasnât hard or uncharted territory. Even spurning the forbidden advances of a Peacekeeper or two wasnât unheard of, but Coriolanus was different. He wasnât some average Joe turned cop. He was born and raised in The Capitol with a powerful father, and even though the man had been taken before his time, your former mentor still had been brought up with the kind of influence and reach and mindset that surpassed the average Peacekeeper.
They were followersâcontrolled by The Capitol and tasked with maintaining order. Most were no more than dumb brutes, mindlessly following orders without question, simple enough to be bribed and swayed. If Coriolanusâ actions had shown you anything, it was that he was not a follower. He did what he wanted and played by his own rules, and it was how you found yourself hunted by a gaze you thought youâd left behind in the arena.
Since the discovery of your former mentorâs presence in your district, you never felt alone.
Every walk to trade for food felt shadowed, every footstep home was accompanied with an echo, and a sweep of your eye over the crowd as you played an instrument or sang a tune was rewarded with a familiar blue one that made your heart freeze. You were forced to ignore it no longer when a single rose was left for you on the doorstep, your maâs gaze questioning as she held it out to you.
You didnât know where or how he got it, but you only cared about giving it back.
âI canât accept this,â you told him, gaze steady but fingers trembling as you held it out to him.
It was raining, and the cover over your heads sheltered you from the downpour, but it did little to drown out the sound of it. Coriolanus simply stared at the flower for what felt like too long, making no moves to take it from you, and you swallowed. His blue gaze zeroed in on the action before it lifted to your face.
ââŠand why not?â
âBecause I think it means something different to you than it does to me.â
Your response was swift, and you watched him sigh, eventually reaching out to finger the flower like he did that day before heâd proceeded to put it behind your ear. He finally took it, and just like that day before the games, it found its way behind your ear once again. The only change this time was the shudder that traveled down your spine, and the apprehension you felt when his gaze met yours.
For the longest time, the only sound was that of the rain, a few stray drops making itâs way onto your face and clothes due to the wind. If the man before you still had the locks youâd met him with, they wouldâve been rustling with the breeze, right now. Both of you were very still, or maybe it was just youânervous and fearful of how heâd respond. He briefly looked past you, eyes glinting briefly before they hardened once again, his pink lips pressed together as he regarded you.
ââŠand if it does?â
He continued when you frowned.
âMean something different to me than it does to you,â he elaborated, and you blinked.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to gather your thoughts.
âI knowâŠthat Iâm only standing here, now, because of you,â you slowly started, watching him push his shoulders back. âI won because of you, I know that, but-.â
âExactly,â he cut you off, making your lips part. âYou won because of meâŠand everything I sacrificed was to make sure you won.â
ââŠbut I didnât ask you to do that!â
You feltâŠcornered, somehow, because on the one hand, yes. You did owe so much to the man before you, but at the same time, what did you owe specifically? Your attention? Your affection? Whatever he deemed an appropriate compensation? When you saved his life in the arena that day, and he vowed to save yours in return, you didnât understand the full ramifications of the deal you were agreeing to.
âI saved your life, and you saved mine, and Iâm sorry for the things you felt the need to risk, but thatâs where it ends.â
The cold from the rain didnât faze you nearly as much as the heat from his gaze boring into your back.
You wanted to believe that your lack of confrontation was what led you to the predicament you found yourself in. After all, things between you two had held too many âwhat ifsâ and lingering feelings and questions. You liked to hope that telling the man in no uncertain terms that your relationship should never and would never progress beyond anything professional would fix things.
You never wouldâve guessed that your bout of confidence would only prove to make things worse.
âMy ma doesnât even know any rebels, and you know that.â
Youâd whispered the words so quietly, throat too choked up to speak any louder as you tearfully stared Coriolanus down, your words only intended for the two of you. Your back was pressed to the doorway as he stood before you, a foot or two of space between you as other Peacekeepers did their duty to search your house as thoroughly as possible. The reason youâd been given was suspicion of treasonâto the shock of your maâbut both you and the handsome man before you knew the truth.
âOne can never be too sure. Itâs always those you least expect.â
His cool response only made you look away, a few tears escaping.
It wasnât supposed to be like this. You won, you were free, so why did it still feel like you were in the gameâŠexcept a much more dangerous one this time? You could feel his eyes on you as you watched man after man rifle through you and your maâs things, your younger sister not home to witness this. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him take a step towards youâjust one, but one was enough to make you flinch.
You still didnât give him the satisfaction of looking at him though.
âUnbearable,â he quietly said. ââŠnot able to be enduredâŠor tolerated.â
You swallowed.
âNot to be confused with hardârequiring a great deal of endurance or effort.â
Another step towards you.
âTo find something unbearable means that you quite literally cannot stomach it any longer. It forces a change to come, forces something toâŠgive,â he whispered.
Your gaze was still focused ahead, but his words made you blink, made your heart sink, and you swore that he knew that.
âI can make things incredibly unbearable for youâŠand your family.â
You straightened at that, finally looking at him with a venomous gaze and a heaving chest. Coriolanus reached up to pick at your shirt, removing a piece of grass from it, and you watched him inspect it before turning his blue eyes back onto you. They lingered on your own eyes before lowering to your lips, his own twitching so subtly you mightâve missed it if you were anyone else.
âOr I can make sure youâll be taken care of, looked after as if you were my ownâŠâ his gaze met yours again. âItâs entirely your choice.â
You two stared at one another for an infuriating amount of time before he let out a sharp whistle, telling the other men that nothing seemed to be here and to move on. His wording was not lost on you, and you crossed your arms over your chest. Coriolanus was the last to walk out, and despite the feel of his heavy gaze, you didnât look his way the entire time.
Your ma commented on the strangeness of the whole ordeal, but nothing about it was strange to you. It was all very calculating and sinister actually, and while you grew up hearing countless talk of running away and living off the grid, you were never more tempted than in this momentâŠbut you were not alone. Your ma was sickly, and your sister was too young.
âŠand if you left, you could only guess what youâd be leaving your family susceptible to.
Your future seemed inevitable no matter how much you tried to find a way out of the path set for you.
The first night you slept with Coriolanus Snow, it was storming just like that day youâd attempted to give him back his flower. Youâd cried for a good three hours before, feeling helpless in the aftermath of another so-called inspection from Peacekeepersâthis one much more destructive. The only light that night came from the brief flashes of lightning, and the sound of the rain drowned out the reluctant gasps to leave your lips.
Hands much softer than you ever expected trailed down your frame, curving over your hips and dipping underneath your thighs. The blond manâs lips rarely left your skin, kissing whatever part of you that came to mind, nose gently grazing you as he did and pulling shudders from your frame. It was a foreign feeling to be so heated and afraid at the same time.
Under the cover of darkness, his fingers intertwined with your own and his hips were flush with yours. The feel of him inside of you was much more jarring than you thought it would be, choked deep breaths leaving your parted lips as he pressed his face into the crook of your neck. His thrusts were slow, the complete opposite of what you expected, and you didnât know if you liked that better or worse.
Every kiss felt wrong, like you were betraying yourself, but in the same manner, they also reminded you of that first day you met. You thought about when you stepped off of that train, and that smooth voice escaped those pink lips, and your stomach flipped no matter how much you pretended it didnât. The person you were that day wanted to throw your head back and welcome the little nips he left along your skin.
The person you were, now, wanted to crawl inside of your skin.
This man had stalked you to the highest degree, following you all the way from The Capitol just to collect on the young woman whose survival he ensured. The things heâd risked and ultimately lost, he placed the weight of on your shoulders as if you were responsible to compensate for that somehow. As if it was your duty to make his sacrifices worth it.
When he pulled you into his lap, resting on him with arms circled around your waist, it was your turn to press your face into the area where his neck and shoulder met. His fingers dancing along your skin made you shudder, and that just made the tears collect more because you didnât want to enjoy this, but your body and your brain didnât seem to be in alignment.
When you were forced to come around him, you saw stars, and you were positive your nails left marks on his back.
You didnât really think that no more trouble from Peacekeepers was worth the figurative collar around your neck. The abundance of food and supplies might have been, if only to just see the smiles on your ma and sisterâs faces, but even then, when you found your back pressed to Coriolanusâ chest as he drove his cock up into you, you wondered if it was actually worth it.
Your ma would say no, that you knew for sure, but you supposed it wasnât her call to make.
After all, the alternative was psychological torment and worst-case scenarios you didnât even want to entertain.
âWould you have had her arrested?â you quietly wondered one night.
The sheet was clutched to your chest, and you were facing the wall, still unable to look him in the eye directly afterwards. Youâd never been able to, feeling used and low and indefensible. You tried not to dwell on the feel of his fingertips tracing patterns into your shoulder, his cool breath hitting your skin as he exhaled.
âI meanâŠwould you haveâŠframed her somehow? Found some justification for it?â
You didnât know why you were asking, certain you wouldnât like the answer, and as you predicted, you felt your throat tighten the longer the silence stretched. Against your willâlike many things youâd been doing as of lateâa few tears escaped, and even before he answered, you knew what you were going to hear.
âYes,â he confessed, just as quietly.
You squeezed your eyes shut, subtly wiping your face.
âI sacrificed so much for you to win, and not just because your win was my winâŠbut because I wanted to see you win,â he murmured, placing a kiss to your back. ââŠbecause I wanted you.â
You knew that, but having it confirmed so plainly was disturbing.
ââŠand when I eventually make my way back to The Capitol, as we both know I will, Iâll still want you.â
Your stomach sank at that, and for the first time, you turned to look at him while still trembling in the aftermath of what had quickly become a nightly occurrence. His gaze was still focused on where your back had been, and when his eyes flitted up to connect with yours, you didnât have the words to convey how you felt about what he was insinuating.
âIn The Capitol, youâll have access to things you could never even imagineâŠand you could send those same things back to your family,â he told you, reaching up to touch your face.
When you moved to sit up, he stopped you, a firm grip on your arm. Coryoâas he liked for you to call himâfixed you with a look that you knew all too well. It was the look he gave you when you tried to come up with any excuse as to why you couldnât meet with him. It was the look you received when you briefly forgot the power dynamics here, turning away from him and attempting to push him away.
It was a look that told you not to fight the inevitable.
âI want you there with me.â
His tone left no room for argument, and there was so much conviction in his voice that the thought of arguing seemed legitimately draining. You simply stared at him, eyes glassy, and he stared back, waiting for verbal confirmation of what you both knew was going to happen, anyway. You had no choice in the matter, you never did, and for a brief horrifying moment, you almost wished you were a lone orphan who didnât have to look out for anybody but yourself.
That thought did make tears spill over.
It was a horrible thing to think, but your loved ones were being used against you, and you knew that your maâand your sister if she were old enough to comprehend these thingsâwould never want this for you. Coryo sat up with you, a hand resting on your cheek as he gazed at you, a thumb brushing the tears away. It wasnât meant to be comforting.
Nothing he did was ever meant to be comforting.
âI want you there with me,â he repeated.
You wondered what someone like you would possibly do in The Capitol.
âI donât belong there,â you whispered, a poor attempt to get him to change his mind.
His response was swift and clipped.
âYou belong with me.â
When he pressed his lips to yours, it was expected that you would kiss him back. His thumb brushed along your skin as you did, a low hum sounding in the back of his throat that quickly escalated into a groan. His free arm snaked around you, and your last attempt at resisting proved futile, so you let him lay you down.
Sex with Coriolanus was a maddening experience.
You didnât want it, and your brain didnât want it, but it was as if your body was its own separate entity running on hormones and animal instinct.
When he rested his full weight on top of you, you shuddered for a multitude of reasonsâone of which you didnât want to acknowledge. When he slid his hand between your breasts and down to your stomach, your back arched, chest pressing up and into his. When he pushed into you all torturously slow as he always did, you involuntarily held your breath, shaking at the feel of his hips connecting with yours, the length of him fully sheathed in your warmth.
You were terrified of him, so that was why you opened up for him like those budding roses he used to carry around, but in doing so, you made yourself vulnerable beneath him. You made yourself more susceptible to his kisses and his touch and that maddening voice that knew just how to get its way. He wasnât a very talkative man when he was inside of you, much more content with letting his actions speak for themselves, but tonight was different.
âLook at me,â he whispered, curving his hips into yours. âLook right at me.â
You did, and while you didnât know the specifics of the psychology behind this, you knew that looking into the eyes of your tormentor while in the act couldnât be good.
âKeep your eyes on me,â he breathlessly told you, nose brushing against yours with every thrust.
You could hear that it was starting to rain again, and you pressed your hands into the small of his back, trying to ground yourself in some wayâtrying to have control over something, anything. Tears kissed your eyes, and you sworeâyou sworeâthat something in those blues of his twinkled. It sparked something in his gaze, and in his psyche, his thrusts becoming more powerful and making you gasp, nails pressing into his skin.
He only looked especially satisfied when the tears spilled over.
When he came inside of you, and you around him, you swore you saw stars.
You even thought you saw snow.
#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#dark!coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow fanfiction#tbosas imagine#tbosas fanfiction#tbosbas imagine#tbosbas fanfiction#dark fic
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ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER.
⧠PAIRING: gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru x reader (hinted) | 5k words
⧠SUMMARY: ghost!reader, major character death, jjk manga spoilers, so much angst bc you literally die lmao, longing, mutual pining, suppressed feelings, everyone sucks at love, some fluff, banter, might be slightly suggestive, lots of hinted feelings (read: suguru), arguments, overall this is painful so read if you enjoy angst !!
⧠RHEYA'S NOTE: this idea randomly came to me before i went to bed a few days ago and in the spirit of halloween, i figured why not? i live off of angst and need to share the pain with everyone lmao oops. this is late for halloween tho my bad !!
i. 2007
satoru brings one more flower than he did the day before. morning glories again, of course, but an extra one. he had added one more to the the bunch every day since the day you died. the first day, he brought three, wrapped with a cheap blue ribbon that he found in his desk drawer. it was hardly a respectable bouquet, but those three flowers were the ones he'd grown for you, so it only seemed fitting.
he didn't care much for gardening. but one day you asked shoko what her favorite flowers were so you could give her some on valentine's day. she asked you what yours were so she could return the favor.
satoru never forgot morning glories after that day.
he's not even sure if morning glories are appropriate to bring to a grave, but he knows you'd like them.
you would tell him it didn't matter anyway.
ii. 2007
(suguru did not cry when you died. satoru watched, intently, because there was nothing in the universe that his six eyes couldn't catch. he waited for it, even a sliver of emotion that would betray suguru's bleeding heart, but he gave nothing. he just stood in front of the stone that marked the end of your life with a deep stare. something had settled there in his eyes, cold and resolute.
a few months before you died, you had told satoru that there was something wrong with suguru. you said that he'd been distant, somewhere far away, and you worried for him. you always did, so open with your affection for him.
"don't want him to get lost." you had hummed, your shoulder brushing against satoru's as you raise the mango ice pop he brought you to your mouth. satoru watches your lips out of the corner of his eyes, his stomach flipping eagerly even as he keeps his face impassive.
"he said it was just the summer heat," he answers, ignoring the sweet mango juice dripping down his knuckles. "should be nothing."
you don't look all that convinced, turning your head to look up at him with meaningful glance. "you sure?"
he stares at you for a lengthy second, cerulean eyes darting over your facial features, before he reaches up and knocks his knuckle against your forehead. "yeah. he'll be fine." he assures, and your shoulders relax as you continue to eat the ice pop.
you were right about it all. four days after you die, suguru massacres an entire village.)
iii. 2008
satoru shifts in his bed, grunting quietly he begins to stretch his stiff joints. his eyes crack open, still heavy with sleep as he waits for his dark ceiling to come into focus. except it doesn't, because all he can see are a pair of very familiar looking eyes. unsaturated, but still so obviously the color he once knew. his own eyes snap open, all traces of sleep gone as he finally makes out someone who looks exactly like you, perched on his stomach with a confused and slightly panicked expression.
he shoots up, and you pull back a little. it looks like you're on his lap, and yet he can't feel you on him at all. he gulps.
"hey toru." you say quietly, and his stomach drops. the same eyes, the same voice. gods above.
"you're dead," he says simply, trying not to betray the way his pulse is jumping at even the smallest glimpse of you again. "you're not real."
"i'm dead," you confirm, nodding your head as you look down at your translucent palms. "but i'm here somehow."
he sucks in a breath, reaching out a hand as if to touch you. the disappointment he feels when it passes through your form is sickening.
you smile shakily, shrugging your shoulders as you attempt to make light of the situation.
"guess i couldn't stay away."
he stares at you for minutes without saying a word and you stare back, equally silent.
iv. 2007
(nanami had carried your body back, his teeth gritted as his blonde hair fell over his eyes. satoru never brought it up, but he knew that nanami remained bothered by it for the rest of his life. your death was bad timing, especially after they had just lost haibara a few weeks prior.
nanami had no reason to blame himself though. if anything, it was satoru's fault you were gone.
shoko had called him from the infirmary, her voice hard and pinched as she spat out three words: "get down here."
when satoru saw your body, he didn't say a word. just took a few long strides until he was at the table where nanami had placed you down. your eyes were shut, face resting in a way that seemed so unnatural. he opened his mouth to ask shoko something, but felt like he was choking on air, so he stopped himself.
then he grabbed your limp fingers, squeezed them gently. they were still a little warm, but not as warm as you usually run. shoko didn't say anything, just stood there with her hands clenched, short brown hair falling over her dark eyes.
satoru remained there for the next thirty minutes, waiting for you to sit up and laugh at the prank you were no doubt pulling. as if your blood wasn't still dripping all over the table.
shoko was the one who finally pulled a sheet over your body with shaking hands. she didn't look satoru in the eye, and didn't spare a glance when suguru burst into the room ten minutes later.)
v. 2008
it takes satoru a while to get used to the fact that you're not physically there. he has to bite his tongue when he moves to bump your shoulder or flick your forehead only to find that his skin goes right through yours. you always give him that same little rueful smile, and he sighs to himself.
he doesn't make an effort to figure out why you're there. he figures it's similar to how jujutsu users can come back as curses due to strong feelings. when he thinks about it though, guilt lodges itself into his throat, because the first thought he had when he heard you were entering death's door was no, don't you dare die.
every day he wonders if he's the one who cursed you to stay.
you act like it doesn't matter, hovering around him as he busies himself in his empty room. at first you're quiet, as though you've forgotten how to speak to him in your incorporeal form. but then you start asking him questions, and it's one question that satoru dreads to answer that you finally bring up.
"where's suguru?"
he's not stupid. he knows there's more you think of suguru than you've ever revealed. of course you'd want to know. but that doesn't mean he wants to be the one to tell you. you had died with nothing but a good impression of geto suguru. you'd probably died with your feelings for him still intact too.
it'd be selfish of satoru to ruin that.
"nothing, don't worry about it," he dismisses, voice clipped as he busies himself with preparing dinner. he knows that won't deter you.
you huff, moving to hover in his line of sight. you cross your arms as you glare at him seriously, and satoru hates how nostalgic your expression makes him feel. he tongues his cheek before sighing.
"he's gone." satoru answers simply. he tries to keep his tone even but it comes out bitter and strained. he can hear your quiet gasp, and feels your form move closer to him. if you were alive, he'd be able to feel your breath on his skin now.
"what do you mean, gone?"
satoru sighs again, turning to look at you completely. he hated everything about this. "he left school. went crazy. killed a bunch of people, including his parents."
he would've laughed at the comical way your jaw dropped if you didn't look so hurt. you sputter over your words as he picks up his bowl and moves to the table, trailing after him and demanding more information.
he doesn't hesitate to share, because he's always hated keeping secrets from you. you had this uncanny ability to see straight through him, and it never failed to make him feel unsettled. so he tells you everything that happened in the few weeks after you died. suguru leaving, their confrontation in shinjuku, his plans for non-sorcerers. he leaves nothing unsaid.
when he's done, he finally looks at you, trying to gauge your reaction. but you're just staring at his food with a bitter expression, brows pinched and lips pursed. satoru says your name once.
you glance at him, and it's too quick for him to look for any accusation in it. doesn't matter though, because he's ready to own up to his mistakes.
"you were right back then. about suguru." satoru admits quietly, turning to his food. he doesn't want to look at you anymore, because he's scared you'll show him how disappointed you are with him.
you don't say anything in response. but you sit down at the small dining table and watch him eat with soft eyes, one bite at a time. satoru doesn't admit it, but the whole time he imagines that you're gently rubbing his shoulder, and he thinks he hasn't missed you more than in that moment.
vi. 2007
(it was satoru's fault you died. if he hadn't been so selfish, you'd still be next to him, shoulder brushing his as the two of you walked through the streets of tokyo.
you had knocked on his door that morning before you had left for your last mission, rocking on your heels. he opened it groggily, still half asleep.
"you going on a mission?" satoru had yawned, drowsy eyes trailing over your uniform. you nod with a grin.
"mhm, with nanami. there are two separate areas with curses though, so we'll split up when we get there. should be simple enough." you shrug, toying with the collar of your uniform jacket.
satoru decides to be annoying. "then why are you here disturbing my sleep? get out." he groans dramatically, peering at you with narrowed eyes. you smack his arm, scoffing. you've stopped questioning why he keeps his infinity down for you do those things to him.
"i was gonna ask if you wanted to come with," you hiss, crossing your arms defensively. "but i'm taking it back, asshole."
he grins. "what? can't stay away?"
you roll your eyes, shaking your head with a sarcastic laugh. "don't flatter yourself."
satoru pauses for a second. "i was gonna go back to sleep." he admits, feeling a little guilty. he had just come back from a mission the night before, and he doesn't feel like leaving again. he doesn't know how to say that to you though.
but you see right through him, like you always do.
"you've been going on missions a lot lately," you smile earnestly, patting his shoulder. "no wonder you're tired."
"'m the strongest, i don't get tired." he protests, crossing his arms with a scoff. you roll your eyes again, sticking your tongue out at him as you heft your weapon over your shoulder.
"keep it up and you're seriously gonna fry your brain or something," you say with a shake of your head, eyes betraying your concern for him. he notices it, and tries to smother down the way it makes his stomach flip. "i'll be fine. you can come on my next mission with me."
fair enough, he thinks. he hadn't gone on missions with you or suguru in a while. he should remember to ask yaga to let him go on your next one. just the two of you. you and him. maybe he'd buy you a mango ice pop on the way back.
"fine." he acquiesces easily, not even thinking to protest. he'll see you later anyway, so he'll talk to you more when you get back.
you smirk a little, motioning to his bedhead, before gently kicking his shin. "go back to sleep then, stupid."
he rolls his eyes, reaching up to knock his knuckle against your forehead like he always does. "whatever. bring me some sweets on your way back, yeah?"
the laugh you give him as he shuts the door is the last thing he ever hears from you.
he should've gone with you.)
vii. 2012
satoru hates the way you're looking at him right now.
it was a stupid little mistake. he had gone to see little megumi and tsumiki earlier that afternoon, and as usual, you had tagged along with him. you'd watched him raise up the two kids over the last few years, never failing to tease about his newly acquired fatherhood, or how much he seemed to care about them despite his efforts to hide it. he didn't ever think to say that you'd helped him raise them up too. even in your incorporeal form you'd always been around to tell him what meals he could prep or to remind him that megumi liked black forest cake for his birthdays.
he'd gotten so used to you being around and he slipped up once. that afternoon when he had walked megumi home from school, teasing and poking fun at the kid, he'd made a stupid joke. megumi had rolled his eyes and told him to shut up.
and then without thinking, satoru had turned to you as you hovered next to him and groaned your name out dramatically before whining, "this kid is so mean to me!"
your eyes widened immediately, and if you were alive he'd probably see the color drain from your face. his stomach had sank and he couldn't tear his eyes away from you, even when megumi glanced at him with a raised brow.
"who are you talking to?" he asked, and satoru gulped, shaking his head as he broke eye contact with you to look down at the kid.
"nobody." he had answered.
he tries to ignore the meaningful stare you pin him with for the rest of the afternoon, hoping that you'll just forget about it. but as soon as satoru has left the kids and he's back in his own room, you're on him. he busies himself with making a cup of hot chocolate, even though he feels sick to his stomach.
"satoru you have to figure out how to get rid of me!" you plead, eyes so sad it makes his stomach churn. "i'm gonna drive you insane!"
"i'm fine!" he snaps back, shaking his head as he takes a sip from his mug, the warmth distracting him from whatever it was you were trying to remind him of. he places it down on the table in front of him and crosses his arms defensively. "it was a stupid mistake. won't happen again."
you shimmer in and out of focus, manifesting in front of him with a glare, though your eyes are still the same. wounded and hurt. "it wasn't and you know it! you can't keep living like this. i've been haunting you for years, toru!"
"well who asked you to go ahead and die?!" he yells without thinking, and it's like he sees your hurt bubble forth in slow motion.
"i went and died because i made a stupid mistake on a mission! quit blaming yourself, you dumbass!" you shout, voice raised higher than he's ever heard it.
satoru's mug shatters against the wall.
the two of you immediately turn to look at the mess with wide eyes, before slowly turning to each other to ensure that it really did happen.
"how'd you do that?" satoru asks quietly, his voice strained as he takes a few long strides towards you. you look down at your hand, the same one that you had lifted to swipe at his mug during your fit of rage. you look back up at him with wide eyes and parted lips. satoru's head is pounding, some kind of sick hope stirring within him. "you had to have touched it."
"i don'tâŠ" you trail off, voice filled with awe and a bit of fear. satoru reaches up a hand, ignoring the tremble in it, and moves to touch your face. he will never admit to the amount of times he begs in his head, please please please.
his hand goes straight though your skin, and your eyes soften. satoru lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, hiding his disappointment as he takes a step back and turns away.
viii. 2006
(satoru thinks gardening is ridiculous. plants are so fragile, needing to be constantly monitored and cared for like children. he can't understand why anyone would choose to garden as a hobby when there were less stressful things to do in spare time.
even the process was time consuming, he realizes as he scoops out piles of dirt into the small pots he had set out on his windowsill.
he thinks back to the silly little grin you had on your face as you answered shoko's question.
"morning glory," you had said, leaning against her shoulder. "i like the way they open in the morning and close at night."
shoko hummed, staring at the sky even as satoru quietly eavesdropped. "you got a favorite color?"
"the blue ones," you answered. "they're the prettiest."
your voice echoes in his head as he places the seeds into the soil, and he sighs heavily. why he was doing this for you was beyond him.
the thought makes him annoyed, and he huffs in frustration the entire time he plants them. gardening had to be the stupidest hobby ever.
and yet when three blue morning glories bloom against his windowsill, he can't hold back his grin.)
ix. 2017
satoru's grateful that you don't watch him kill suguru.
he tells you to go, and you give suguru a long stare, face pinched and sour even though your translucent eyes are shining. it's a shame suguru can't see you though, because satoru thinks you look so pretty. suguru would've been lucky to have you be the last thing he ever saw.
you turn away and disappear without a word, and after one last exchange, satoru finishes the job.
it's only after he watches rika's final goodbye to yuta does he realize the extent of what a goodbye even means. he'd said one to suguru, and yet he can't help but miss him as he walks back home. he wonders if suguru wouldn't have had to die if you were still around.
satoru had never gotten a goodbye with you though. you're somehow still with him, but he misses you so much. it puts an ugly feeling in his gut, twisted and dark. it weighs down on his shoulders as he finally opens the door to his room, heavy and overwhelming as he sees you sitting on his bed, face vacant.
he says your name, and you don't move. he takes a seat next to you, and something about your sad expression makes him so unbelievably angry.
"quit being sad about it," he finally spits out, the truthful extent of his feelings coming out. "it's not like you're even alive that you'd be able to see him."
you scoff as you give him a sidelong glare. "what's that supposed to mean? one of my closest friends just died and you expect me not to be upset about it?"
"at least he'll find a way to you!" satoru hisses, clenching his fists so hard that his nails leave crescents in his skin. "you two can have fun together for all of eternity."
there's a tense silence that follows as he grits his teeth, turning away from you. he's so disgusted right now. with suguru, with you, with himself.
"i'm all by myself." satoru mutters bitterly, the words so foreign on his tongue as the truth hits him.
god he misses you so much.
he suddenly feels a sharp thwack on the back of his head and he's turning around with wide eyes.
"don't you dare forget about shoko!" you hiss, tears in your eyes as you glare at him, hand raised. "i'll never forgive you!"
his throat goes dry, because the smack you just gave him was the first time you'd touched him since the day you died. there's a storm in his throat that threatens to break free, but he tries to keep it lodged in his throat. even with your teary eyes, he thinks you look just as pretty as you did with life flowing through you.
he misses suguru. he knows you do too, because there are translucent tears dripping down your cheeks and he has never ached to touch you more. but he can't because you're dead.
you remain in front of him all night, barely saying a word in between your sniffles. he doesn't say anything either, just watching you.
he doesn't know what there is to say. the only thing he ever wishes he got to say to you was goodbye. but you're here, in front of him, so a goodbye seems pointless.
when the sun comes up, you wish him a merry christmas, and he swears you never left him.
satoru says it back to you. you smile sadly.
he misses you so much.
x. 2007
(satoru had cleaned out your dorm room three days after you died.
he didn't really understand why he was doing it so early. shoko had frowned when he told her that he planned to pack away your things, frowned in a way that made her look like she disagreed.
well even if she did disagree, it didn't stop her from sitting in your desk chair, chewing on her nail quietly as she watched satoru fold your clothes. he didn't even understand why he was doing this.
maybe it was because every time he walked past your empty dorm room he felt sick to his stomach. there was a twisting feeling in his gut when he realized that you'd never curl up in that bed again. never sit by the window with a grin watching him and suguru bicker as they threw playing cards on the floor. he figured the faster he got rid of your remnants, the quicker the feeling would go away.
that's what he's hoping anyway. but when he picks up your jujutsu uniform he feels something claw at his throat, and he unconsciously digs his fingers into the fabric. he hears a sigh from behind him and then shoko is at his side, wordlessly easing the cloth from his hand. she lays it on the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles before folding it carefully. when she places it into the box, satoru thinks her hands shake a bit.
there's a bitter expression on shoko's face that he's never seen before, and it makes his stomach twist.
they work on your room for the next few hours, until the sun has disappeared behind the horizon and the cool evening breeze bullies its way into your old space. neither of them say anything, save for the occasional nostalgic hum as they remember something that you did or they're reminded of the story behind one of the trinkets in your room. otherwise it's silent, and for a second satoru feels like he can hear your laugh.
it isn't until night has completely fallen that they are interrupted.
"what are you doing?"
satoru turns around just as shoko looks up, both of them finding suguru standing in the doorway. he hadn't taken a step in yet, eyes still trailing over the emptiness of your old room from behind an uncrossed line.
"cleaning." satoru answers, his voice oddly clipped.
"it wasn't messyâŠ" suguru mutters back, his lips slanting in such an unusual way. there was an uncharacteristically determined look in his eyes, as though there was something in him that was struggling to burst forth. satoru didn't understand what it was.
"never said it was." satoru replies noncommittally. he hears shoko inhale deeply, shifting in your old chair as she watches the two of them stare at each other. there's a tense silence as he notices suguru frown.
satoru can't remember the last time he even had a full conversation with suguru. he remembers seeing you leave for your last mission, and he wants to kick himself for not asking earlier to be sent on group missions with the two of you.
even now, he doesn't really know what to say to suguru. all he can do is tighten his fingers around the edge of the box with your stuff neatly packed in, and watch his best friend sigh.
suguru wets his lips, eyes darting over your desk. there's an odd expression on his face, and his brows pinch as he notices something. then suguru reaches out to pick up an old polaroid, and satoru knows exactly which one it is. your arms slung around suguru's shoulders, smile so wide your cheeks probably hurt. suguru's expression was uncharacteristically gentle.
satoru remembers it so well, because he's the one who took the picture.
suguru looks at the polaroid without a word, rubbing the corner between his thumb and forefinger, and his expression suddenly mirrors the gentleness in the picture. his eyes remain stormy, deep and unsettling as he reaches conclusions that satoru will never understand.
the three of them stay quiet for a few minutes, even though satoru has so many questions that he can't figure out how to phrase. shoko toys with a cigarette between her lips, leaving it unlit because you've always hated the smell of smoke. suguru just stands there, silently eyeing your unfiltered smile through the lens of a camera.
satoru wonders if suguru's trying to say goodbye to you. he doesn't ask, and suguru doesn't say.
only after something had clicked in suguru's eyes, did satoru realize something was over. he couldn't help but feel like he had just buried you in that cardboard box with all your things, and he swallows hard.
then suguru clenches his fists, veins flexing as he looks around your room, almost like he was committing it to memory. satoru didn't understand why; it's not like suguru couldn't come see your room anytime he wanted.
then he turns away, hand lingering on the doorframe heavily, without another word.
just as suguru walks away, satoru thinks he hears your voice whispering in his ear.
"don't want him to get lost."
xi. 2018
something is wrong. something happened. something is wrong.
satoru knows he needs to wake up. but he's so tired, so exhausted from carrying on all by himself. he suddenly remembers the taste of frozen mango, sweet and chilled, and he wants to keep thinking about it for the rest of eternity.
but something is wong. he needs to wake up.
the minute satoru forces his eyes open, he can ignore the taste of blood in his mouth because you're there.
you're kneeling at his side, sunlight shining behind your head in a way that makes you look almost angelic. he'd believe it if you said you were an angel, because you've been dead for so long now.
you'd been a ghost for so many years, hovering around him and getting him through everything that had come his way. isn't that what guardian angels were supposed to do, guiding humans through their own trials? isn't that what you were doing to him since the day you died and came back to him?
you'd been a ghost. you'd been his angel. you'd been haunting him.
you'll always haunt him.
you seem to know it too, because the expression on your face is understanding, soft and yet so sad.
for what seems like the millionth time in his life, satoru aches to touch you.
he tries to move his hand but finds that he can't. synapses misfire. he can't feel his body anymore.
he wants to touch you. gods above, he wants to touch you so badly. please just this one last wish.
your translucent forms shimmers in the sunlight, and satoru can't tell if he's hallucinating or not because you suddenly seem to become fully physical. the particles of your form solidify, slowly filling with more color until you don't look quite so dilute. the saturation of your eye color comes back, and satoru can't look away because he's never seen a ghost so pretty before.
his breath hitches as you gently cup his cheek in your palm, warm and gentle. the melancholic look on your face makes his eyes sting.
"it's good to see you." he says with a weak smile, ignoring the metallic taste on his tongue. his breath is short, mind racing because your skin is on his again. finally, after so many years. you're so soft, just like he remembers.
"you weren't supposed to join me this quick." you sigh, eyes shining as you smile down at him ruefully. your thumb brushes over his bottom lip, and satoru's cerulean eyes flutter.
no. no more waiting. he'd missed you too much. he doesn't have it in him to stay away from you anymore. he'd done it long enough. your fingers tremble against his skin and he almost laughs.
no more haunting.
there's a resolute part of him that knows you'll be the first thing he sees when he gets to wake up again. he decides that, when he does, he'll get you a mango ice pop and plant some morning glories with you.
his eyes fall shut with a sigh.
"guess i couldn't stay away."
#[đȘâ rheyaâs writings. đ]#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#jjk angst#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#gojo angst#jjk season 2#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader x geto#satosugu x reader#geto suguru#geto angst#getou suguru x reader#geto x y/n#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satosugu x you#stsg x reader
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body paint | alex albon
pairing: norris!reader x alex albon
summary: after alex breaks up with his girlfriend, youâre right there to help him forget about her
fc: kensington tillo
warnings: one suggestive comment, some self-deprecation? (very light stuff), harsh lando (in all brotherly fashion)
a/n: i feel like iâve read all the alex fics on this app i need more of him :(
â
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f1gossip williams driver alex albon has officially broken up with his girlfriend of five years
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username say sike right now
username NOOOOOO
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username f1gossip you canât just drop this bomb on me and LEAVE
username i refuse to accept this information
username they were the standard đ
username the day i died actually
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ynnorris we had fun đȘ©đđž
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username my daily inspo just posted!
username so pretty đ
username the cool sibling fr
ynnorris landonorris âŒïž
landonorris mean
kendalljenner always have fun when youâre around đ (liked by ynnorris)
username iâm so glad y/n decided to attend the grand prixâs out of nowhere
username honestlyyyy why were we robbed of her existence for this long
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alex_albon had fun at the night race and getting good points for the teamđ
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username MY GOAT
username this man is so beautiful my god
francolapinto đđœ
username how is he still carrying that tractor into the points is beyond me
username incredible
ynnorris congrats alex!
alex_albon thank youâșïž
username okay đ i donât hate that
ynnorrisâs instagram stories
[caption 1: đ] [caption 2: for some reason i always end up here]
alex_albonâs instagram stories
[caption 1: recharging đ] [caption 2: đ]
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ynnorris la isla bonita
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username first alexâs story now THIS?
username talk about soft/hard launching
username nah i recognize my boy alex in that pic
username the real question is how did he bag THE y/n norris?
username thatâs crazyyyy
username okay but can we talk about how absolutely gorgeous she is? đ
alexandrasaintmleux truly mesmerized
ynnorris me when i look at you
username absolute baddie
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f1gossip a fan met alex albon and lando norrisâs sister, y/n norris, today at the airport while they were traveling together
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username all the confirmation i needed
username damn it really only took him six months to find someone else
username landoâs sister, nonetheless
username he said iâm fucking FREE
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username most out of pocket couple but they work somehow?
username this is the day i was reborn
ynnorrisâs instagram stories
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alex_albon good few days đ
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username OMGOMGOMGOMG
username unhinged
carmenmmundt can alex fight?
alex_albon đ€șđ€șđ€ș
ynnorris no need carmen i chose you!
georgerussell63 đĄ
username the way y/n had only attended like three grand prixâs before alex bagged her đ
username he really didnât waste any time
username all he had was a broken heart and faith in the universe
username my roman empire
pietra.pilao cuties đ„°
landonorris donât encourage this đĄ
pietra.pilao leave them alone đ
username my girlfriend (and alexâs)
ynnorris so much for taking things slow
alex_albon đ
#alex albon#alex albon x reader#alex albon one shot#alex albon imagine#alex albon fluff#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#alex albon x y/n#alex albon x you#alex albon fanfic#kensington tillo#aa23#smau#alex albon smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#norris!reader#norris!reader x alex albon#norris reader#norris reader x alex albon#arctic monkeys
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OLD GRUDGES (part 1)
A/N: wooohoooo im bringing something new!!! i feel like it happens so rarely it's like a miracle lol anyway, this will be hopefully a couple of parts (probably about 3) and lets all pray i will actually finish it lol
WORD COUNT:Â 3.7k
WARNING: sexual content
SUMMARY:Â Harry and Y/N go way back. Working together was like a dream when 1D was still going strong. Now, years later, when they end up working together again, things are very different. Mostly because Y/N seems to be hating Harry passionately. But he has not idea why.
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST
Everyone loves Harry Styles. Itâs a known fact, not just amongst the people who actually know him, but all around the world. He is known as one of the most unproblematic celebrities, someone who gives just as much if not even more respect as he gets, always kind and patient with others, rarely loses his temper. Itâs hard to imagine that there is anyone walking this planet who doesnât see him as a lovable, sweet man.
Well, it might be hard to imagine, but there is actually one person who has a very different opinion when it comes to the british popstar.Â
And that person is music producer, Y/N.Â
The interesting thing is that their history goes way back into his 1D days. Y/N was an up and coming name in the industry, just started working with bigger names when she got the chance to produce several songs on the bandâs third studio album. Harry remembers her as a bubbly, funny girl who is passionate about her job and is also excellent in it. Working with her was easy and motivating, she was always eager to perfect songs to an extent Harry couldnât even imagine and thatâs why songs like Story Of My Life, You & I and Midnight Memories were such hits. Y/N put her heart and soul into them, which eventually earned all the recognition they deserved.Â
Harry loved working with Y/N and she was in talks of working on their fourth album as well, but the deal ended up ditched and she went on to do other projects and they somehow had a fallout. It was a shame, but he hoped his path would cross hers again.Â
Years and years went by and so much changed by the time their professional ways finally met again. Jeff brought her name up when Harry just started writing for his fourth solo album and Harry gave him the go to do whatever it takes to get her on the project. A few weeks passed and Harry didnât get any confirmation about her and just when he was about to bring it up to Jeff, he hit him with the news.
âY/N is in for five songs. Contract should be signed by Wednesday and you can start working next week.â
Harry wondered why it took so long to get her on board, but he brushed it off because he knew she was a big name now herself and had plenty of offers from which she could choose from. He was excited to work with her and simply see her again.
It was utter shock for him when she was the complete opposite of what he remembered. Okay, that might be an overstatement, but Harry could feel something was off instantly.
She was still bubbly and fun, but for some reason, she had a certain iciness and bitter attitude whenever her focus was on Harry. To anyone else it was unnoticable, Harry knows, because he asked Jeff about it.
âWhat are you talking about? She is awesome,â the manager said with a shrug and Harry tried to tell himself it was all in his head, because if Jeff doesnât see it, itâs not real.
But it kept happening and it felt even stronger when it was just him and her in a room. Sometimes she even pretended like he wasnât there, sometimes her snarky comments were all he got and they just strengthened him in his belief.Â
He wanted to ask her about it, he tried, several times, but his attempts just bounced right off her icy behavior so eventually, he gave up and there was only one thing left for him to do.
Return what he was getting.Â
Yes, it is childish, but he felt like he needed to deal with her unreasonable hatred towards him somehow and this was the easiest way. Was it a smart idea to practically become enemies when working together on his album? Of course not. But it just happened.
And going against each other became their thing.Â
They were great in arguing, disagreeing even when they could easily compromise, riling each other up and lashing out on each other when the tension had been building up for hours. It got to the point where others started to notice that something was off between the two of them and when Jeff questioned Harry about it, he couldnât give him a reasonable explanation.
âShe started it,â he said and instantly felt like a kid, telling on his classmate at school. But this is all he could say, because he had no idea why she was acting this way. And he has to live with it while they work together.
Something is off. Harry knows it. Something about the melody⊠or the guitar⊠or is it the lyrics? He canât tell, he has listened to the recording a million times so it all melts in his ears and he canât identify whatâs setting him off every time he hears it.Â
âWhy donât we take a break?â Jack, the technician suggests, turning in his chair. âY/N will be here in twenty, Iâm sure sheâllââ
âOkay,â Harry snaps, just so he doesnât finish. He knows what he wanted to say.Â
Sheâll know whatâs wrong and will correct it in a second.
Y/N always knows whatâs wrong and most of the time itâs a perk, of course it is, but today, Harry feels like itâs gonna make him want to crawl out of his body. Maybe itâs because heâs been in the studio for five hours and he got nowhere or maybe because Mitch will have his first ever solo gig tonight and Harry has been worried his fame or relation to him might ruin this experience for him.Â
Either way, today he is just extra pissed by the fact that Y/N will be the one to solve this mystery.Â
âIâm gonna grab a coffee,â he clears his throat, standing up from his seat. âDo you want one?â he offers, feeling a bit guilty he snapped at Jack.
âUh, yeah, just an espresso is fine, thanks man.â
âSure, Iâll be right back.â
Putting on his headphone, Harry jogs across the street to the tiny coffee shop heâs been a regular at. He likes the place because they are discreet and their coffee is just simply amazing, though they swear thereâs nothing extra in it.Â
He waits for the two coffees at the end of the counter and scrolls on his phone in the meantime. Emails, messages, thereâs always something to answer to. He sends out a few replies before he ends up in his calendar. Itâs neatly color coded and he takes pride in keeping it up-to-date all the time so he can always be on top of his game, no matter what.Â
His eyes land on one particular date. Five weeks from now Y/Nâs contract expires and if the five songs are done by then, sheâll be out of Harryâs life again. Seeing how the work is going, sheâll easily outdo that number so there wonât be any reason for talk about an extension.Â
An unsettling feeling spreads in his stomach as he stares at the date but he doesnât have time to figure it out because he is snapped out of his thoughts when the two paper cups are placed in front of him. He is trying his best to keep a positive mindset as he returns to the studioâs building. With the two coffee cups in his hands he makes a right turn and then stops at the door, seeing Y/N sitting where he did previously, already listening to the recording with Jack with a critical expression on her face.Â
Harry doesnât interrupt them, just stays put and waits for her feedback. When she is done listening, she leans back in her seat.
âItâs the bass. Or more specifically the lack of it. Can you double it? Letâs see how it changes.â
Jack is quick to do as she asked and then he starts the song again andâŠ
Harry wants to scream and laugh in bliss at the same time, because itâs perfect now. Heâs mad he couldnât spot such an obvious thing, but he is also happy itâs finally sorted out. Itâs just a shame Y/N was the one to do it and not him.Â
âGreat, so this is done then,â he makes himself noticed as he walks into the studio and hands over one of the cups to Jack.Â
When he looks at Y/N he can see that familiar, irritated look on her face thatâs almost always there when heâs around. He hasnât decided if he wants to physically wipe it off, orâŠ
âThanks for bringing one for me,â she comments in a bored tone, turning back towards the screen.
âYou werenât here when I went out.â
âBut you knew I was coming.â
Harry opens his mouth, but then closes it, because this time she is kind of right. And it irks him even more today.
Itâs gonna be a challenging session today, Harry thinks as he takes a seat.
Itâs always exciting for Harry to be behind the stage when heâs not the star of the show. Kind of like a whole different world.
He hasnât been here for long, but heâs been trying his best to stay as unnoticed as possible and let Mitch take the spotlight. Just a few minutes ago Sarah put him on Scout-duty which he gladly took up on, heâs always happy to spend time with the little guy. This time he is letting him explore freely and heâs just following him around to make sure heâs safe. Scout seemingly enjoys the adventure with uncle Harry, who doesnât really pay attention where he is heading.Â
Thatâs how they end up in the green room where Y/N is.
Y/N and Sarah have worked together a while ago, which is a random coincidence how they are connected outside of Harry. Because of their history, Y/N is often where they are, however she was never around when Sarah and Mitch were playing for Harry.Â
Scout runs up to Y/N, arms in the air, asking to be picked up and Harry stops a few steps away from them when he realizes who he just found.
âHey there, little guy! Are you all by yourself?â Y/N asks, settling the boy on her hip.
Sheâs changed since they parted ways in the studio. Harry has always admired her sense of style, which mostly consists of basic pieces, almost like a capsule wardrobe, but thereâs always something extra, something vibrant on her that makes her sets interesting. Tonight she is wearing a simple black dress with a rather low back cut, simple heels, simple makeup, but she added a silky scarf with vivid colors and shapes around her neck that brings Harryâs attention to the curve of her neck and collarbones, almost as a cheeky invitation for his eyes to her naked skin.Â
He has to fight the urge to touch her.
Despite the spiteful relationship theyâve been sporting lately, Harry had to deal with a rather unreasonable desire for Y/N in a physical way.
Unreasonable, because he never thought he could be attracted to someone who pisses him off so easily, yet thereâs been plenty of occasions when Harry found himself imagining scenarios he could never admit to her, not when she hates him with such obvious passion.
Tonight itâs not just the outfit, but also the way sheâs handling Scout. Itâs not just women who find it incredibly hot when the opposite sex is great with kids, Harry can definitely feel something inside him moving as he watches Y/N sway from side to side with the little boy in his arms.
âUncle Hazza is here!â Scout points at him, answering her previous question. Y/N looks up and because Harry was already looking at him, he catches a slipping moment where thereâs no irritation on her face, but it returns quite fast when her gaze settles on him.Â
âAh, hi,â she says, lips pressed together as she nods, acknowledging his presence.Â
âHey. Long time no see.â
As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it. Who says that? Why did he even say anything else other than hi? He smacks himself in his mind.Â
Part of him expects her to say something like ânot long enoughâ but she just keeps quiet and turns all her attention to Scout. Harry feels out of place, he is supposed to be babysitting, but Y/N is taking care of Scout, Harry knows he is in good hands but Sarah asked him to watch over him. Should he leave? Or just keep standing there awkwardly?
âYou can go, Iâll watch him,â Y/N says, as if she could read his mind.Â
âYou sure?â
âIâm pretty sure I can take care of him until Sarah is back.â Her reply is not just dry, kind of offended, nothing Harry wouldnât expect from her, but itâs still irking him.
âI didnât say youâre not capable, I justââ
âIâm not in the mood for this,â she cuts him off with an icy look. Harry is too stunned to reply, just watches Y/N walk away with Scout.Â
He almost finds it amusing how easily she can piss him off, not many people have been able to do that, in fact, Harry thinks she does it the best.Â
Clenching his jaw he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and then just lets it all go.Â
The after party is always kind of Harryâs favorite. The stress is over, itâs just the relief and celebration that is left.
Mitchâs show went well, thatâs what Harry expected, but itâs still great he was right. Seeing his friend be the star of the show was an experience he is glad he could be part of. Now that the core of the group has moved to a nearby bar, Harry has loosened up thanks to the couple of drinks heâs had.Â
Heâs been mostly sticking to the familiar faces he knows, rotating between the same few people while enjoying how under the radar he is currently.Â
The more drinks he has had, the less heâs been able to control where his gaze goes. To be exact, heâs been finding himself looking Y/Nâs way the past hour or so. That damn dress and scarf, itâs like sheâs put a spell on him that forces him to keep wanting to look at her.Â
Harry is not experienced with feeling like this. Being attracted to someone who he hates, itâs such an ambivalent impulse, he canât think straight. Or maybe itâs the amount of tequila he has drunk tonight, either way, itâs getting a rise out of him.Â
From the corner of his eye he sees her slip out to the back where the smoking area is, he hesitates, shifts his weight from one leg to the other before making the leap and heading after her. He has no plan, no idea what he wants to ro will say to her, but he just feels like he has to talk to her.
Stepping out to the dimly lit back alley he is met with a few people scattered around, having a cigarette with drinks in hand, talking or scrolling on their phone and then he spots Y/N on the left, standing by the wall, cigarette in one hand, the remaining of her drink in the other as she stares ahead of her.Â
She doesnât smoke regularly, but she does enjoy one in certain social settings or when sheâs had a few drinks. Harry knows it from years ago, because they shared a cigarette at a party, back then she seemed thrilled to spend time with him, he remembers all the conversations they had while working together, telling each other stories, sharing their plans, Harry truly thought they would remain good friends on this extraordinary journey, yet they ended up here.
As Harry walks towards her, she notices him and he sees her lips twitch in annoyance.Â
âCare if I join?â he asks and she just shrugs without a word, avoiding to look at him.Â
They stand there in silence for a while, she is lazily puffing the smoke out from time to time.
âIs it still just an occasional thing?â he tries to strike up a conversation.
âMhm,â is all he gets as a reply.
âHave you tried to put it down fully?â
âWhy are you doing this?â she snaps at him, finally looking his way.Â
âWhat?â
âWhy are you trying to chit-chat when we both know we donât do that?â
âAnd why donât we?â He challenges her. âTell me why we are like this in the first place, because I have no idea.â
She stares at him for long moments and he awaits her answer like nothing before, but then she shakes her head and turns to the pin beside her, puts the cigarette out and flicks it into the bin. Then, without another word she is already heading back inside.
It takes a moment for Harry to start moving again, but he is quick to catch up with her in the hall that leads to the restrooms.Â
âY/N, give me a fucking answer!â he demands, grabbing her wrist to pull her back before she could escape, but she shakes his hand off as she comes to a stop, turning towards him.
âI owe you nothing!â she hisses at him. âI owe you no one, but especially you!â
âWhat the fuck does that suppose to mean?! I never thought you owe me anything!â
âIâm not doing this, Harry, leave me the fuck alone,â she growls and tries to leave, but Harry pulls her back again, determined to get an answer this time.Â
âDonât think I will just swallow everything down forever. I will get to the bottom of this, whether you like it or not. Itâs your choice if you make it hard on both of us.â
She is looking back at him with wide eyes, this time his hand remains on her arm as they stare each other down in the empty hallway. Neither of them knows what will be their next move, the tension is so thick, itâs almost suffocating.
But then it all changes.
If someone asked who moved first, they wouldnât know. One moment they are standing like stone statues, barely even breathing, then the next moment they are kissing like thereâs no tomorrow.
It doesnât take long until Harry has her pressed up against the wall, his hands roaming her body, feeling her up the way he fantasized about before, they are both rough and impatient, she is clawing at him, moaning into his mouth when his hips press against hers and she feels how hard heâs gotten already.Â
Blindly, Harry pushes the closest door open which happens to be the staffâs bathroom that someone left unlocked, lucky for them. Still glued together they stumble inside, Y/N kicks the door open before Harry pushes her against it and he locks it before his hand returns to her tempting body.Â
He has never acted like this when it comes to sex. He does like to spice things up sometimes, but the way heâs biting her lips or unbuttoning his pants or reaches under her dress to pull her underwear down is just so out of character for him, yet so freeing.Â
Nothing is said, but when her hands pull his hard, leaking dick out of his pants, thereâs a fleeting look they exchange that says it all, just how much they both want it.Â
Itâs the fastest pace heâs ever experienced, yet the most passionate too. They moan at the same time when Harry pushes into her and starts moving in a rush, desperate for relief. Sheâs panting and whining for more, the only form of speaking she is able to as she holds onto Harry who is focused on keeping up his quick and steady pace while holding her left leg up to ensure the perfect angle.Â
The animalistic need is there for them both, making them act like this is what they must do to stay alive. Itâs messy, fast and mind-blowing and they donât need much time to reach the peak. As she comes her nails dig into her shoulder and she bites into his bottom lip so harshly it draws blood, but he doesnât care, only follows her into bliss just a second later. With the last bit of his consciousness Harry pulls out right before he comes, covering her thigh with the white, sticky evidence of just how much he enjoyed the past minutes.Â
They are breathing heavily and Harry feels like a thick haze is still lingering around his head, stopping him from realizing what just happened. Y/N however is ahead of him and when reality comes crashing down on her, her instinct to flee kicks right in. Harry is still trying to clear his mind when she grabs a paper towel and cleans herself up as fast as possible and Harry only snaps out of his trance when she is already unlocking the door.
âY/N, what theâ wait!â He canât go after her as she slips out of the room because he is still pretty indecent, so he has to pull his pants up and can only rush out then, but by that time she is already gone.
Heâs quite frantic as he tries to find her in the bar, but she is nowhere to be seen. Harry returns to the rest of their group, hoping to catch her somewhere but she has vanished into thin air.Â
âHey, have you seen Y/N?â he asks Mitch, his eyes still roaming the place.
âNah, havenât seen her since she went out to smoke.â
Harry groans and makes his way outside, maybe sheâs there waiting for a car, but as he steps out to the street he sees no trace of her. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he doesnât hesitate before dialing her number. The line rings once, twice and then⊠it goes to voicemail.
âHey, this is Y/N. Do whatever you want after the beep.â
âFuck!â Harry ends the call and he has to stop himself from throwing it against the nearest wall.Â
This is not how he planned. Well, he didnât plan any of it, especially not fucking Y/N like a horny teenager. He wanted to solve this whole issue between the two of them but instead he just created another one.
A stupid, giant one.Â
NEXT PART
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