#its been too long since i read the novel to remember this but i think my subconscious must have retained some of it somehow

[secriden]

tags from @purgatoryandme

one reason i think liu qingge has such great potential is that he's one of the only characters entirely free from the PIDM narrative. because he dies early in PIDM, sqq isn't coming into every conversation and interaction expecting lqg to adhere to a preconceived script. this allows sqq to actually see lqg as a person and for his words and actions to be taken at face value.

i just think this is great potential for sqq to still be completely oblivious or in denial about lbh and yqy's attentions (because he's so fixated on how bad/complicated PIDM!sqq's relationships are with them) whilst also catching wind of lqg's growing feelings for him because he isn't hampered by any preconceived notions of what they're dynamic "should" be.

so give me sqq noticing the way lqg's mannerism soften around him, how his gruffness changes, how he spends more time just having tea with sqq even after his meridians have been cleansed as they start to have civil conversation about sect business. recognising lqg's care in returning his fans; seeking common ground over their shared love of monster hunting (even if lqg just cares about fighting them, can he maybe smash them in such a way that shixiong can study them afterwards?) and discussions on cultivation techniques and the differences between bai zhan and qing jing styles.

sqq who is so just so grateful to have someone in his corner, someone he feels safe with, who he doesn't have to second guess during every conversation. someone who was never supposed to be around by this point in the narrative, and so is entirely shen qingqui's.

[aleskie-hischier]

THE APARTMENT WE WONT SHARE | Jack Hughes x Reader SUMMARY: Two years after you and Jack break up, you find yourself thinking about him.

Word Count: 1.3k Warnings: angst, post-breakup ♫ Listen: The Apartment We Won't Share by Niki ♫

Isn’t it strange how memories seem to find you at the oddest hours? The ones you try so hard to bury within you, the ones you thought you were ready to forget, somehow resurface just when you least expect them.

Tonight is one of those nights—when regret sneaks up on you, tugging at the corners of your mind, bringing with it a wave of what-ifs and thoughts of what could have been.

The night had started out so normal. You’d come home from work, fixed up a simple dinner, did a few chores, freshened up, and snuggled into bed with a book. It was one you hadn’t touched in a while, a story you never finished. You don’t remember why.

The book starts out calmly enough, nothing too emotional. Just exposition. Just a beginning. It takes place in a cafe. One with a strange name and an unusual secret: customers can travel back in time to any moment of their choosing, as long as they follow a strict set of rules. You smile at this, remembering some of the exposition as you read through your annotations. It’s a novel concept. Time travel. You’d like to go back in time too. Fix things, mend relationships, gain closure. But, as the novel would like to point out, the past cannot be changed and the present will always remain the present.

You read the story of the first customer—a woman who travels back to try and fix her broken relationship. You can’t help but scrunch your nose at the futility of it all. The rules of the cafe don’t allow her to change the present, so why does she still try? 

And why didn’t you try harder?

Your mind wanders off to two years ago. You’re sitting pretty in his apartment, his head on your lap. You’re reading this same book while he’s absorbed in one of his own. The peace from the memory is so vivid—the way silence between you was never uncomfortable, the way you could spend hours with each other just…existing.

You think of the flower bouquets he brought you, the flowers still dried and preserved in a box you’d long since tucked away. You think of long hikes, the crisp air biting at your skin. You think of the Prudential, of cheeky grins and cocky celebrations. You think of soft kisses, of the warmth of his hand in yours, of the sweet nothings whispered in the dead of night.

Everything had seemed so right back then, so perfect in its simplicity. And yet, here you are, two years later, lost in a memory you can’t shake. You wonder—when did it all go wrong? Was it a single moment, a single decision that led to your peace unraveling? Or was it a slow death, one that chipped away at your happiness little by little until it was too late?

You read further into the woman’s story. She confronts her lover, asking him why he didn’t tell her he’d be leaving. His response feels all too familiar. He tells her he never felt like he was enough—that he always felt inadequate. And there’s an ache in your chest as you read how he admits his belief that there’s someone better for her, someone who deserves her more. You think of the night it all came crashing down.

It was another week of being too busy for each other. Another week of canceled dates and broken promises to call each other at night. You’d managed to find time one night, but it was clear something was off. The tension was suffocating, the silence between you heavy, and you could feel the inevitable approaching like a storm.

“I don’t think we should keep doing this,” he’d said, his voice maddeningly calm. “You need someone who can be there. Someone who can treat you better, love you better.”

He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t spare you a glance. His tone was measured, like he hadn’t just ripped your heart out and crushed it for all its worth. 

“You don’t get to tell me what I need,” you’d said, your voice trembling with desperation. “I need you. Just you.”

He’d been silent for a moment, and then he’d reached out, placing a hand on your cheek, his thumb gently wiping away the tears that had started to fall. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he’d whispered, his voice soft with regret.

“But you are,” you’d choked out.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you, but you deserve someone better than a guy who can’t even make time for you. I need to let you go so you can find someone who can.”

“There’s no one else, Jack,” you’d pleaded, your heart breaking with every word. “I only want you.”

You’d looked him in the eyes, desperate, hoping that your love would be enough to change his mind.

How could you do better than the guy who wrote you love letters and memorized all your favorite coffee and takeout orders? How could you do better than the guy who danced with you in the middle of the night, the city as your soundtrack, your laughter echoing in the silence? The guy who always gave you his jacket without hesitation and opened doors for you and nursed you to health when you were sick?

He was everything you wanted. You loved each other. Why wasn’t that enough?

“I’m sorry,” he’d said again, his voice breaking just slightly as he kissed your forehead once more. And then, just like that, he turned and walked out of your apartment—out of your life.

You can still see the way his shoulders slumped as he closed the door behind him. You can still feel the sting of his absence, the emptiness that followed. 

What if you’d run after him? What if you’d grabbed his hand and kissed away every doubt, every bad thought that had ever crossed his mind? What if you’d held him tighter, whispered all the reasons why he was the best thing that ever happened to you?

You lie back and stare at the ceiling, letting the fantasy of what could have been play out in your mind. You imagine waking up beside him, your bodies tangled together in an apartment you both share. There’s a golden retriever curled up at your feet, and the soft patter of tiny feet approaches your bedroom door. You see your daughter—with his eyes and your hair—bursting into the room, full of energy, her laughter filling the space as she jumps onto the bed to wake you both up.

You imagine slow mornings, making breakfast with your girl while Jack gently wakes the newest addition to your family—a baby boy with your nose and his smile. You picture him carrying the infant to his chest as he sneaks up behind you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and whispering a risque comment in your ear, something that makes you giggle. Your daughter rolls her eyes, poking fun at you both with exaggerated gags.

It’s a life you’ll never have, a future that slipped through your fingers the moment you let him walk away. If you could, you’d go back. You’d run after him and fix things, let him know you love him. Let him know he’s the one.

You sigh. It’s pointless to think about it now. The book brought out too many feelings, made you think too much. You’re about to close it when something catches your eye—scribbles along the edges of the page, words you didn’t write.

What a stupid reason to leave her.

Your breath catches in your throat as you recognize the handwriting. Of course. That’s why you never finished the book. Just when you thought you’d removed every trace of him from your life.

In the margins, you see more of his notes, the ones he used to leave for you. 

Babe, he’d written, just know I’d never do you dirty like that. I love you too much.

Tears prick at your eyes, hot and bitter.

If only he knew.

[nadianova]

how i do my visual novel filtered photo backgrouds

ive had some questions about this so i figured i'd put together a quick post on my process and what goes into it.

this isnt really a tutorial and instead is just a ramble of how i do stuff with a ton of examples and pictures lol

read more below. this is a long post and you probably want to be looking at these images on your computer instead of your phone

step one is that i find CC0 photos or otherwise easy licenses to use because I'm lazy and don't want to have a list of credits of random photographers caue i used one of their images but also i don't want to use stuff without crediting

because they have a general lincese that just wants you to mention the site i prefer unsplash or pixabay but there's other public domain type photo sites too obviously

so like okay heres a random picture

i have a photoshop CS5 from 10 years ago. but these can be done with gimp or krita and whatever. theres even photopea that has photoshop in the browser

basic stuff is that i start by cropping my bg into my renpy resolution (i use 1920x1080) this is also the part where sometimes i might rotate a bg. it is a good way to add some chaos vibes to a scene

i tend to add some mild blur effect since i find that having too sharp photos as backgrounds clashes with the artstyle of my sprites. like just a couple pixels worth of blur tends to do it

the next part is called fuck around and find out

i like to play with the values to just get random results. hue/saturation for tinting the picture, messing with the curves to get some really sharp effects, or channel mixer to add more of a color

this part is just purely vibes based but i personally think reducing the colors of the background is the simplest way to create something that feels coherent. especially if you make backgrounds based on moods. like having a blue tinted bedroom vs a red tinted one really changes the atmosphere

you can get some pretty intense effects but its always important to remember that its meant to be a background and there's a risk it distracts from the sprites

in this case im not including the effect for the curves. after the colours look fine the final step i tend to have is apply some sort of effect.

i really like changing the colour mode to indexed colour since i like crunchy pixels. (had to zoom in to 100% to show the actual effect) downside of indexed is that it doesn't look ideal unless its displayed in the exact resolution it was made in but i like it

here is the images before indexed mode:

after indexed mode(i think you have to click the image and open it in full to see the actual effect):

another thing ive been playing with recently has been grain+chromatic aberration combo. it makes things feel surprisingly lively with just this simple thing so you'll probably see me overusing this effect in the future

you have to mess with the numbers to get the effect you want but for me these were the parameters I've been using

ignore the preview missing idk why it does that.

heres the image (the non indexed version) after these krita effects

one random special mention i have is that playing with layer blend modes is great

in this example i just copied the same background, mirrored it horizontally and set the layer blend mode to color and it lowered the layer opacity slightly. it just adds some.... idk what to call it visual noise? itj just fucks it up a bit. i used overlapping images and screen modes in some of the hopeless junction images i did for some pretty nice effects

i dont really know waht the blend modes do i just scroll until something looks good lmao

theres a ton you can do with these. like for example just adding a single air brush dot of a bright color on a separate layer and setting it to some blend mode to add a tint to a background

i used these both in malmaid and in the second one i just brushed on some color on a separate layer to give it a moodier vibe

i think having variations of the same background is an extremely easy way to add some life to the bgs without having to do new stuff. like here was the hotel lobby when entering, and here is the hotel lobby when they ran away from the place. i added a radial blur with photoshop

i think theres some beaty in artifacts that come from low resolution images too. sometimes i intentionally use images that have clear compression artifacts cause i think it looks neat. i don't really worry about the details too much as the vibe is the most important thing

its honestly just a matter of knowing these tools exist and just fidgeting around with combinations to find what you want. it also helps to look at other backgrounds or images in general that you come across and just be curious. how was this done? how could i recreate it? that's the type of experimenting that has led me to these.

idk thats all i have to say. ty for reading and play malmaid on steam like and subscribe for more gay puppies

[sumicchin]

CHIMES OF THE HEART

❃ a wind breaker (satoru nii) reader insert.

CHAPTER 4

Violence is the answer to everything in this world (not really). (3.3k words)

content warning: female reader, original characters, character background, slight ooc i fear

When I was little, I often found myself looking forward to the sound of the wind chime as it danced with the breeze. It was fairly quiet inside the shrine when it was just Hayami, me, and a man named Sojiro while waiting for the officiants to inhabit the divine structure.

Furin was my only companion—acting as if its bell were telling me stories from the outside world. It's been there ever since I could remember, and no one bothered to place another one.

Just like the wind chime, I was alone.

While the grownups worked, I occupied myself with little tasks that my stubby fingers could manage. Sometimes I took out a book they had in the study and ran to the adults to ask what certain words meant. I became more involved with the shrine as I grew older, not as a Miko, but just as a random helper. 

I was essentially free to do what I wanted. So when I was 10, I expressed my wish to venture out of the shrine.

"Hey, old man," I greeted Sojiro, tending to the flowers near the statues. His head perked up upon hearing my voice and greeted me back. As odd as it sounded, Sojiro wanted me to call him that way despite his youthful appearance.

"Hi there, little miss," Sojiro says as he stands up to face me, "what's today's agenda?"

For as long as I can remember, Hayami and Sojiro have been caring for me since. I haven't really asked about their relationship, or who my parents were since there was no need to do so. I was fine with how things were for the past couple of years, but the books I read and my trips to the market while accompanying Hayami made me yearn for more.

And so I was determined to confront them that day.

I showed him the book I was carrying. Kusamakura by Natsume Soseki.

Not really something a ten-year-old would read, but I had nothing better to do in this shrine.

"Oh, that's one of Hayami's favorite novels," Sojiro says. "An artist sets on a journey in search of beauty and inspiration for life and art. It's a simple read but very worth it to understand what it's like to be an artist." The man beams, totally lost in his thoughts. I let out a sigh, "That's not what I came for, old man."

"Ah, my bad! You know I get too excited about stuff like that." Sojiro laughs and pats my head, "So, let's cut to the chase. You want to go outside, right?" He chuckles as soon as my face contorts to that of a shocked expression. Sojiro is a man full of secrets.

"H-how'd you know?"

He shows me his infamous grin with eyes closed, "It's a secret power of mine!"

He pats my head, ruffling it in the process, "But sorry kiddo, we can't really make that happen." Already rejected before I could speak the speech I prepared. "Hayami will explain to you once you're older, but right now you have to stay here, 'kay? Think of it as a special mission given by the gods!" I was about to sulk and curse whoever made that decision when Sojiro perked up, "But hey that reminds me! The priest decided to assign you as bodyguard for the Mikos." I let out an audible sound of confusion, telling him I barely knew how to throw a punch. The best I could do was to bite someone like a sewer rat.

"That's why I'm gonna train you starting tomorrow!"

By sheer determination and fear of being on the receiving end of Sojiro's sword and fist (both hurt equally), I became a competent bodyguard for the officiants at the age of 14.

"The wind feels very nice, doesn't it (F/n)?" Manami, one of the older Mikos, glances at the fully bloomed cherry blossom trees by the river.

"Yeah, pretty lucky we got to go out today!" I excitedly say. Becoming the bodyguard for the Mikos allowed me to at least go out more often. It was always fun accompanying the women of the shrine outside, teaching me all sorts of stuff that can't be picked up from books.

"The priest doesn't really trust outsiders let alone men to protect the girls, so he's hoping to rely on us, (F/n)." I recalled Sojiro's words on our first day of training. It was a day full of bruises, and many more came after that but the strength I currently possess made it all worth it. I find myself more comfortable fighting with a sword though, and Sojiro encourages me to keep at my training.

I established one rule as a bodyguard.

To never take someone's life.

The two of us continue talking, heading back to the steps leading to the shrine after buying gifts from the market. We were a few blocks away from returning to our refuge, until I felt a tug on my hakama's left sleeve.

"What is it, Manami?"

"Can we maybe, stay outside for a bit longer?" She timidly asks.

"But we promised to only go to the market," I reluctantly answered, but seeing her crestfallen face made me double take. I guess she's just tired of Miko duties...

"It's just for a moment, I promise! There's something I need to see."

She leads me to a shop that sold fireworks and the like.

"I'd like to get one of these for summer!"

I watched as she hurriedly went inside the shop, already browsing the many varieties of explosives. How do we hide the fireworks from Hayami and the priest, I deadpan.

I was too occupied with my thoughts, but I know for one someone in black just went past me. Still bothered by how I'm supposed to hide the fact we went somewhere other than the market, the scream of a woman registered late to me.

I hurriedly ran inside the shop and saw a dark-haired man in a suit dangerously near Manami.

"Let her go!" I yell as I grab the hilt of my sword.

Upon closer inspection, it became clear that the man was actually just a tall teenager from his features. He must be an artistocrat or something.

"Please fight outside my shop!" The shop owner yells to no avail.

"Are you cosplaying a samurai?" The boy hums, letting go of Manami. She stumbles back but was helped by the store owner. "She took the last sparkler I wanted to buy," he says mockingly while approaching me.

"But I've lost interest now." His tone suddenly drops, approaching slowly as he inspects me and my sword—and to say I'm frightened is an understatement. I've fought many men before, but his aura screamed something awfully dangerous.

I knew right then and there I'll die if I try fighting him.

"Is that sword for real? Must be serious business, huh?" he grins as he points at my sword.

I scoffed, "Wanna see for yourself?"

"Fine with me..." He raises his right arm, my grip on my sword's hilt and scabbard tightening, "been wanting to take out someone armed."

He swiftly tried to go for my neck, but I nearly blocked him with my sword, the blunt edge of the blade near my cheek and the sharper side near the man's wrist. "Don't move a muscle, or the blade will cut you."

His lips twitch, but not so much to pass as a grin, "I'll look forward to that."

Even though I tried resisting, his strength overpowered me by the end and I lost control over my blade. I stared helplessly as my sword fell to the ground, waiting for his fist to strike me. It

"You're interesting! Let's meet again when we're a bit older." He pats my shoulder, walking out of the store. "How about when we're both 16, 'kay?"

He walked unscathed out of the store as I scrambled towards Manami who was shaken.

She and I swore to never talk about the incident ever.

It was then that I realized I'm still weak.

Was I even fit to protect others?

Although I never wished to encounter that man again, the world had different plans for me.

Turns out he was just the start of this madness, and there were more to follow.

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

You watch the boy from across the room as he sleeps peacefully, just like a child after throwing a fit. That night, he established social distancing before heading to bed, saying he didn't want to accidentally do stuff he'd regret in his sleep.

It was painfully obvious that he was nervous the whole night, stiff as a rock and barely breathing. He eventually (and with difficulty) fell asleep though, thankfully. Sakura would probably stay asleep for a couple more hours, so you decided to get a head start and freshen up for the day.

You unfold the piece of clothing that served as a makeshift pillow last night, recognizing that this is what Sojiro called a hoodie. It smelled very minty and upon checking the pockets, you see some suckers with different flavors. These look really good...

This must belong to Sakura, but no harm in trying it out right? The hoodie, that is. You've had enough of stealing's someone's food. The apparel was obviously loose and too big, but it makes one admire the craftsmanship with how warm and comfortable it felt. 

He told you that night that his friends brought in food and clothes, so you excitedly checked the bag. It's filled with clothes that you used to dream of trying out, too tired of the usual hakama back at the shrine. Nothing bad about being traditional, but seeing vibrant colors and patterns other than flowers and birds makes you feel all giddy inside.

One of the shirts had a drawing of a white cat with a red ribbon. This character often appeared in the teen magazines Sojiro brought back from trips. Why he bought them is beyond you (it's so that you can check out what girls your age like, he says).

This is super adorable! You think while holding the shirt.

The bumpkin has now been in contact with Sanrio characters.

Taking out pants that you think fits the shirt with the white cat, you find the bathroom to freshen up and change.

If Hayami saw you right now, she'd probably start calling you out for looking scandalous. A huge part of your legs and thighs were exposed, and the shirt definitely hugged the torso a bit too much to what I'm you're to, but the cute design is too much to pass up on.

Styling your hair in your preferred way to complete the new look, you step out of the bathroom, seemingly trying your best to fit in with the folks of this city (and accordingly to the magazines).

It seems that Sakura is still out cold. Worriedly, you approached his figure hunched in a fetal position to check his temperature. Your face neared his and touched your foreheads together. Upon contact, it didn't seem like he was ill, but after a few seconds he began heating up rapidly.

You were greeted by his heterochromatic eyes, too wide for someone who was just sleeping moments ago. Didn't this happen already?

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He stammers, backing to a wall behind him.

"Checking your temperature, what else? You were out cold for a while."

He wipes his forehead rapidly like you spread germs on it. Rude.

"Aren't you the sick one here? Stop worrying about me, damn it!"

You unknowingly pout and look at the floor, "I was just worried." Rolling your eyes towards him, he looks away in return.

He clicks his tongue, refusing to look you in the eye. Is he allergic to affection or something?

"So much for a morning call." You stretch, standing up to head out. "I'm feeling all better now, can we go outside?"

"Someone's gonna pay you a visit, so sit your ass down!" He turns on his phone and starts swiping his fingers.

Nirei

Sent a sticker [good morning!].

Suo

Sent a sticker [happy wake up].

Kiryu

Sent a sticker [cat wake up].

Tsugeura

Sent a sticker [muscle ohayo!]

Nirei

Suo and I will be visiting!

Sugishita

Seen

Sakura sees the group chat for his class, then checks out the ones his upperclassmen sent.

Kaji

bring my hoodie to school i cant drop by cuz of errands

Tsubaki

Good morning!

I'll be visiting after school with Kanji and the twins~

Umemiya

Morning!

Kotoha and I will visit soon!

Breakfast is on me!

···

He sees Bofurin's leader still writing another message and waits for it. When it does get sent, he suddenly gets conscious.

Umemiya

Kotoha hopes you're wearing something other than a shirt and boxers, she says!

Sakura immediately looks at himself and suddenly whips his head towards you.

"How come you didn't tell me I was just wearing boxers in front of 'ya the whole time?!"

You blink repeatedly, "You were bothered by that? If it makes you feel better, I've seen uncles only in their loincloths."

He turns red and immediately scrams to the bathroom to check for his used pants.

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

"Wow, so this is your school uniform?"

Sakura comes out of the bathroom in his iconic green gakuran and pants, acting smug and proud to be wearing symbolic garments. You clapping and looking with amazement just made his head bigger, saying stuff like "Woah, so trendy!" and "You look like a model!"

A knock on the door interrupted the duo's little fashion show, with Sakura heading towards the door to invite his guests.

He sees Umemiya, Suo, Nirei, and Kotoha all carrying bags.

"Morning, Sakura!" Everyone followed suit with their morning greetings, taking off their shoes as they entered his apartment.

"Oh! Looks like our little ghost has recovered now," Umemiya smiles as he takes a seat in front of you. "I'm Umemiya Hajime, but you can call me big bro if you'd like!" He beams.

He starts rummaging the bag he brought out, "Hope you like soup and omurice!"

Kotoha approaches you and waves hello, to which you bow in reply. She was taken aback, saying there was no need to be formal. "Kotoha is fine! And the clothes look really good on you!" She starts gushing about taking you to the shopping district with someone named Tsubaki, happy to have another female companion.

"We've brought you some snacks, courtesy of the class!" Nirei shows you the contents of the bag filled with unfamiliar bags, "O-oh! I'm Nirei Akihiko by the way. If you need help navigating Makochi, I'm your guy!"

The last of the visitors wore an eye patch and felt immensely mysterious, boasting quite the powerful aura. Thinking about it, three of them held overwhelming auras, Umemiya's in particular was overflowing. You didn't notice that you were staring too hard at the eye-patched boy.

"My name is Leonardo DiCaprio!"

Oh! A foreigner, you beamed.

"Don't fall for that, (F/n)!" Sakura points accusingly at Suo, "That guy's Hayato Suo, make sure you're extra careful around him."

"You wound me, Sakura. I thought we were friends," Suo fakes a sigh. "And you're on a first name basis with her."

Sakura blushes, "That's her first name?!"

Nirei realizes and hides his face using his notebook, feeling giddy to have another female friend on a first name basis, "I-it feels really embarrassing to be on a first name basis already!"

"You already gave her your lap yesterday, a name is nothing at this point," Suo chuckles.

You think for a bit, and it reminds you that everyone back at the shrine never mentioned a family name. Gods, am I adopted? Am I the next Momotaro?

"I don't know my parents, and no one really told me about other stuff about them."

Everyone stops and looks at you with a somber expression.

Umemiya lets out a loud wail, eyes comically tearing as he tries to go in for a hug, "Ume-nii and Kotoha over here will be your family then!!!"

Nirei feels himself tear up as well, unable to imagine living a life without knowing who his parents were. Suo's face remained neutral, mouth forming a line and unable to say something to lift the mood.

Sakura on the other hand just stares at you, eyes soft and looking as if he sees himself in you.

"But don't worry about me! I still grew up with caring adults," your smile falters for a bit, wondering how Hayami and Sojiro were faring after your escape. "Let's all eat! Big day ahead of us."

Kotoha begins handing out soup and takeout omurice, "What happened to you anyways? If you don't mind me asking,"

You choke on a potato, clearing your throat before speaking, "Oh uh...I made an enemy out of an aristocrat, he decided to marry me or else he'll destroy my home, but my caretakers wanted me to run away, and now I am searching for something here in this town. Yes, I think that accounts for everything so far!"

"That's quite the story." She says, not sure if she was concerned or amused.

Suo pieces the situation in his head, "I assume that's why you were in a white kimono." Everyone realizes and looks at him, "Do you think your husband will search for you?"

You correct Suo, saying you're technically not wed yet. He mutters a small apology. "I don't want to get married to a man like him."

They all feel the spite and anger behind your words.

You look sternly at everyone, "It's also why I needed to get away from everyone as soon as possible. I fear I'll get you all caught up in this mess."

Everyone hears a scoff from Sakura who was gulping down food just earlier, now looking at you with a smirk.

"Thanks for telling me bits of your story," he puts down his now finished bowl of soup and omurice.

"We just gotta beat up that guy, right?"

changed the writing style for a bit, hope its okay (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）

[bladesurferguy]

On writing motivation and writer's block (+ a special piece of my own writing)

So, for a self-proclaimed writer, I haven't been doing very well with my writing lately. It's been well over six months now since I last wrote anything of substance (I spent two weeks writing a chapter every day and burned myself out, but that's a story for another day). Right now, it's hard to not feel a bitter sense of guilt about it all. Where has all my motivation gone? How dare I call myself a writer? Maybe I should just forget about it. I'd never make it anyway. But then, I remember one particular piece of writing I produced over 9 months ago, some time before hitting my big wall. A seemingly random fragment from chapter 9 of my semi-abandoned WIP. Perhaps it will read as nothing special to you. I won't claim it to be perfect, or even great writing. But to me, it is hope. I showed it to my one and only beta (more like alpha) reader at the time, who'd been keeping up with my novel-writing endeavors, and they told me that these paragraphs had evoked deep feelings in them. That they were beautiful. It won't have that effect on everyone—hell, it won't have it on most people. But, at the very least, I made one person feel something beautiful with my writing. I know that. And is that not what this is all about? As long as I can make one person feel, maybe it's all worth it after all. I will keep calling myself a writer. I won't give up. And I guarantee, you reading this right now have the ability to make people feel too, no matter what. Be strong, friend. I will be rooting for you. I want to share that special fragment of mine with you all. It's out of context, given that it's from chapter 9 of a novel, but I think it can mostly stand on its own. One crucial piece of worldbuilding first: The main trait this fantasy world has is that its two continents (gigantic floating islands/landmasses) are situated in such a way that the one on top (the "highlands") block most of the light/sky for the residents of the one below (the "lowlands"), which is where our POV character currently is, going through some magical trial or other (you'll see!) Without further ado, here's said piece of writing. I hope at least one of you out there who randomly came across this post enjoys it :]

Leiden looked up. The base of the highlands couldn't be more than a couple dozen paces away. From so up close it felt even more oppressive than usual. He noticed a second plaque, inlaid in the roof of the tower, where he was standing. There was more to the trial, as he suspected. After reading its contents, however, he felt confused. ‘I'm glad to see you make it here. Your task is simple: Feast upon the beauty of the sky.’ He looked up again. It would be hard to feast upon what wasn't there. If he looked to the sides, he could just barely make out the thin lines of sky visible beyond the highlands. It didn't feel like enough to exactly feast upon. For the sake of trying something, he lied down with his back to the stone. He had enjoyed cloud watching, back when he was above. Even though there were only rocks on top of him, he wrapped his hands behind his head, and tried to remember the feeling of admiring the sky. He closed his eyes and pictured a summer afternoon, with an open sky decorated by a few lonely clouds. What was the point of this trial? Maybe it had once been possible to see the sky from here. Had the highlands not always been above the lowlands? Perhaps it was all part of the trial. Slowly, those complicated thoughts ran out of steam, and Leiden became fully involved in his personal sky, and his little clouds. It was nice. It had been a while since he'd felt like he could afford to take a moment to just relax. He saw shapes of all kinds in the clouds, as they swirled and morphed and danced with the wind. Sometimes the sun peeked from behind, bathing him in rays of light. He realized there was no need to limit himself to one kind of sky. A wave of darkness swept over the azure background, and small brilliant dots started to cover the sea of black. The moon stood out amongst them all, shining with borrowed light. It seemed larger than usual, like it was stretching to cover Leiden's view to the fullest extent it was capable of. For a moment, within himself, Leiden stopped feeling alone as he became part of a whole. He was a blade of grass, swaying in the dirt, surrounded by acres of grassy fields. He was a star, shining with the endless power of the sun; a speck, part of a map of dots where each one represented wonders beyond a human’s capability to understand. He was everything, and yet he was nothing at all. It was a realization that often eluded a species defined by their willingness to work against nature. What separates a human from an eagle, soaring through the clouds; or an ant, working hard for the good of its colony? What makes us so different from a flower, helping the bee produce its food in exchange for having their lineage continued? Are we so different from a gust of wind, ephemeral in its passing, yet meaningful all the same? Leiden felt like a mote of dust, suspended in a beam of light. Visible only as long as the sun shined, yet always there. He floated in the air, no longer supported by the steady stone beneath him. Well done, child, a voice said. He was so surprised by the voice that he snapped out of his daydreaming. He opened his eyes and realized that he really was floating—or he had been, until the free fall started.

Thank you sincerely for taking the time to read it. It means a lot. I would love to hear what more people think of it. I'm still severely lacking as a writer, but I'm proud of it. It's more poetic than what I usually produce. That's all for today, friends. I hope you have a wonderful day. Good luck on your writing endeavors! We'll make it through, together <3

[theorphicangel]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫.| 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 (𝐟𝐞𝐦!) 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 |

synopsis: In the span of 3 years, it's crazy how much you can learn about one single person. So much yet so little.

You find yourself realising that with every year there will always be more to learn. Every year offers a new opportunity to grow together.

You soon learn that he has things that are discreetly hidden from you.

And you him.

tags: roommates au, fem!reader, eventual smut, mutual pining, friends to lovers

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟏: 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲

word count : 4.9k

warnings: drinking, alcohol, drunk! Levi🤨

“Don’t even think about it.”

The warning slipped from your tongue in a haste.

Not even a full minute had passed since emerging from his room and your words were already aimed straight at his throat; piercing his skin like the tip of a knife.

Your intonation held a low and deep vibration throughout the room which almost startled him.

Almost.

You weren’t even looking at him directly.

His steel eyes snap over to your figure on the couch where you sat with your legs curled up like a cat under a fluffy blanket. Two hands held open your new novel, the one that had been on your reading list for god knows how long.

He'd gotten it as a gift for you at Christmas. You guessed it as soon as it caught your eye underneath the tree, one of the very first gifts placed there. It took everything in you to hold back at the temptation to rip at the carefully wrapped present and not jump straight in between the pages.

You held back. For him at least.

Barely two days into the new year and you’ve regretfully almost come to the end of your story. He curses quietly under his breath at noticing this, himself regretful that he hadn’t gotten you the whole book collection instead.

He thought about saving it as a birthday gift instead. Most definitely.

You continued to read on, pulling an oblivious expression with your eyes still glued to the page as you hear him huff in impatience. You knew all too well that if you just looked up to your left, he’d be standing there with his hands placed on his hips and his infamous scowl imprinted on his face in pure frustration.

A smile played along your lips at how easily you could rile him up. Too easily.

“You even touch that Christmas tree and I’ll take away your present.” you forewarned, fingers turning the feather-light page, eyes already jumping to the next sentence.

The Christmas lights that were wrapped around the tree blinked furiously in the corner of the living room, the large golden star at the peak of the tree heavily loomed over to one side, threatening to topple over due to its weight.

He’ll never forget how you had coerced him into helping you set it up. And you’ll never forget the comical-like way in which his eyes widened at the sight of you returning back to the apartment with a large cardboard box in your hands.

“It was a sale, I couldn’t resist.” were your words of defense, consciously aware that it was still early November at that time.

Despite your protests, he brutally ignored your excuses, instead babbling mutters of discontent as you made him walk in circles around the tree to wrap the tinsel.

“Stupid.” he remembers mumbling, feeling himself become increasingly irritated at the lone strands of tinsel that fell onto your carpet, which he would now have to go to the effort of hoovering once the two of you were done.

Switching on the bright lights—that you had definitely spent way too much money on—they powerfully illuminated the room, the festive colors of red and green bouncing off your white walls. The electricity bill for that month was indefinitely set to soar.

Regardless of Levi’s annual duplication of the Grinch, he couldn’t help but feel a weird sense of satisfaction at your glowing smile in reaction to the tree and after what felt like hours decorating, you finally won against your need for perfection. You stretched out your hands in front of him proudly, a beaming smile stretching across your lips with an exclamation of, “Happy birthday!”

He scoffed at you, his mind no where near the idea of his birthday. You knew how much he dreaded it each year, coming to the sudden realization that he was getting one year older.

Or one year closer to death as he would say which would earn a light slap on the arm from you for ruining the so-called “Christmas spirit.”

You introduced him to all the traditions of the holiday; something abnormal to him, having never experienced this during his childhood. A few years before and he would’ve never even given a second thought about the holiday.

The only thing that he does remember from his childhood is the long anticipation of receiving a present from his mother, one that she had saved up for all year to be able to give him.

He appreciated them all, no matter how small or bare, he was always grateful. Unlike the other kids who’d grown up spoiled, flaunting their gifts as soon as it was the return back to school after the holidays.

Was he envious of what other kids had growing up? Yes, of course, what kid wouldn’t be?

But, now having grown up he’d come to realize that he was deeply satisfied to have the more important things in life, like the close memories of his mother. He was more thankful to have spent time with her rather than receiving a bunch of toys he would soon grow out of.

Especially since people can suddenly be taken away from you in a blink of an eye.

But celebrating also helped you too, he’d learnt that moving away from your family to a new city by yourself wasn’t easy and with the guilt of the first christmas that he had spent with you, from then on he’d make sure that he'll put in all his effort.

Even if the whole day shortened his lifespan in the process.

Now standing in front of the glowing tree, Levi didn’t have to turn around to witness the grin on your face. He’d already heard it through your threat.

If there was one thing he learned about you throughout all these years, it was that you always kept to your word.

“It’s fucking January,” he remarked, “Christmas is over.”

You shook your head, “Nuh-huh Mister Scrooge, it’s still the holiday if I remember clearly.”

He snorted out loud, “Barely.”

“You’re just mad that you’re going back to work earlier than me.” you noted and again your mind can picture a crease between his brows at your blunt reminder.

“Whatever.” he muttered, sulking his way over to you without any further debate.

You felt the couch shifted a little under his weight, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

Finally, you glanced up from your book to observe the figure sat adjacent from you.

You caught him mid-yawn, his hair uncharacteristically disheveled, raven locks astray, but one thing that predominantly stood out towards you was how well-rested he looked, his face slightly puffy from sleep and eyes full of energy, no evidence of dark circles under them. You felt content at this sight and it was more than obvious by the way you studied him.

“What?” he said bashfully, suspicious of your observation of him.

“Are you still hungover?” you ask, distracting him. You were annoyed that he caught on regardless of your obvious stare.

He rolled his eyes as your question. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, he deliberately ignored your question.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.” you murmur, eyes returning back to your place in your book.

A wave of silence filled the room, no further conversation made between the two of you. It was a comfortable silence, one that the two of you have gotten well adjusted to for the past three years, more than comfortable in each other’s presence.

Then, after a minute or two of silence, his lips parted to defend himself after some deep thought.

“I’m not hungover.”

You hum quietly, the sound of paper flicking as your fingers turn the page, not seeming bothered by his answer.

You recall back to New Year’s day, returning home with Levi from Erwin’s annual New Year party. Erwin was polite enough to offer that two of you should stay the night but you remember clearly how he kept whining about wanting to go home. With you.

In your three years of living with Levi, you’ve barely–no, rarely, seen him drunk. You didn’t know what was really up with him at Erwin’s, just the fact that as soon as you stepped into his apartment, he couldn’t stop throwing back the drinks. It was very incongruous to the usual Levi that you knew.

Unless he had something on his mind. You figured it was just the post-birthday emotions hitting him. He never went into detail but you were smart enough to assume that this time of the year was always tough for him.

As a result, you had to carry him home. His heavy, dead-like arm wrapped around your neck with the majority of his body weight pushed up against you for support, making your thirty minute walk home looking to take around an hour.

“Fucking hell, Levi.” you swore, your footsteps echoing against the stone pavements, the sound ricocheting off the concrete walls of the giant buildings that loomed above you.

His own steps lingered–irregular and clumsy–as he relied on you for total support. It was nearly four in the morning and groups of people were still out in the city, alive as ever, still drunk off a new year high. You could tell by the fireworks being set off irregularly that the celebrations had yet to finish, also not missing how Levi’s body flinched at the sudden sound of fireworks nearby, rising up into the sky, illuminating for a few seconds before disappearing into colorful clouds of smoke.

Of course, you couldn’t avoid interactions with large groups of drunk strangers wishing you a slurred happy new year from across the street. You gave a friendly smile back and wished them the same back, the same couldn’t be said for Levi, drunkenly sending death glares as his own response.

But it wasn’t until you walked past a certain group of strangers, that consisted mainly of guys, that he really grew hostile.

“Did you-did you see tha’?” he blurted out, stumbling in absolute defeat.

“See what?” you asked, focusing your eyes on his face and not missing the glow that the streetlights created upon his face.

“The way that guy looked at-” he paused, taking a breath, probably to hold down the bile rising in his throat. “You.”

He finished in a dangerous tone. It sounded unnatural even for him.

“No, I didn’t see that Levi, they’re drunk.”

“Drunk bastards.” he cursed, losing his balance momentarily until you held him upright again.

You hold back a chuckle, “And you’re one of them.”

“M’not drunk.” he debated, his lips turning into a pout.

“Okay,” you said, an idea popping in your head, “Stand by yourself then.” You pause in your steps and remove his arm from around your neck. In this separation, the warmth of your body is quickly replaced by the chill of the winter wind.

You’ve paused purposely by a lamppost to hopefully make it easier for him to navigate. You stand away from him, only a few meters, next to the hovering streetlight.

“You good?” you ask, raising a brow at his state.

His eyes are drooping a little, full of fatigue and obviously intoxicated. His body sways a little, side to side and his dark locks flutter a little in the almost icy winter wind. You don’t miss how pink and tinted his cheeks are, especially under the glow of the streetlight.

Little puffs of vapor escape from his mouth now visible in the cold winter air but disappear quicker than you can blink.

Vapor escapes from your own mouth as you observe him, “You’re swaying Lee’, that���s cheating.”

His eyes are now fully closed and a part of you is slightly concerned that he’ll topple over at any moment; just one light tap on his shoulder and he’ll end up face planting the stone pavement.

“M’completely–” he pauses again taking in a shaky inhale,“Fine.”

He scrunches his eyes before he attempts to walk and at an incredibly slow pace, his shoes scuffing the pavement. He barely moves an inch before opening his eyes again.

He looks around wearily, a dazed expression on his face.

“Did I get far?” he mumbles, his lips puffy and pouting.

Adorable.

You can’t attempt to hide your grin any longer, “C’mon you idiot, let’s go home.”

“You’re the idiot, idiot.” he grumbled back, immediately falling to your side, his arm wrapping perfectly over your neck.

You nodded,”Yeah yeah, thank you.”

And if it wasn’t enough to drag his ass home, you also had to get him up to your shared apartment.

“One step lee’, almost there.” your voice strained under the weight of holding Levi upright as he reached the second floor. One down, thirteen more to go.

And to think that out of all fucking days, tonight had to be the night that the elevator was out of order. The universe couldn’t even wait a day into the new year before testing your patience.

Your arm was wrapped securely around his waist, fingers digging into his shirt as you pulled him up the stairs. Sweat dripped down your back, your warm winter coat doing its job too well as an insulator.

“Are-are—we almost there?” He slurred, almost falling as he did so and your free hand suddenly clasped onto the railing to steady yourself. If he falls, you’re certain you’ll go down with him.

Now you sort of understand why he gets so annoyed when he has to pick you up from a night out, especially if he had to do this every time with you. The only difference is you're more of a mess. By far.

And with that taking longer than it should’ve, you finally come to a standstill at your apartment door. Your hand delves into your coat pocket, fingers searching through crumples of old receipts and tissue for your keys, it doesn’t take long for that sweet metallic jingle to reach your ears.

Levi stood next to you in silence. He was rather quiet during the final climb up the last floor. You brought it down to his exhaustion and post drunk clarity finally hitting him, a feeling you know all too well and despise deeply.

The jingle of your keys echoes down the empty hallway as you turn the lock, opening the door to a sea of darkness. You follow through first finding the light switch and Levi trails in after, shutting the door. Your back hits the wall of the hallway with relief and fatigue, you couldn’t wait to get to your bed.

But first… you had Mr grumpy to deal with.

Slipping off your coat and your shoes, you address him with an exhale noticing how he’s remained still the entire time, staring into the abyss.

“C’mon Lee’ let’s get you to bed.”

He makes no response, already trailing into his room without debate. Before you follow, you grab a glass of water for him during the night.

You find Levi sat on his neatly made bed, only completed with the task of removing his shoes. His dark locks look even more disheveled.

“C’mon,” you coo, placing down the cup on his neat bedside table. There’s only a radio that sits on the counter, its red digits reading, 4:23 am. Your hand pulls back the covers as Levi stands and he makes his way to lay down immediately but the touch of your hand meets his bicep.

“Change first.”

A light whine came out his throat, before he could even stop himself. If he were sober enough to care he’d cringe but he steps back following your instruction.

“You’ll thank me in the morning,” you state, “you don’t wanna sleep in those clothes, trust me.” You speak merely from experience, you know first hand that it’s not the best way to start the morning after a night out.

You go to leave the room to give him privacy before a soft utterance stops you from doing so.

“Stay.”

A hum leaves your throat in confusion. He watches you apprehensively, whole body rigid with his fists curled up by his side.

His mouth is snapped shut almost as if he regrets the previous words that come out of his mouth, you’re about to put it down to the state of him being intoxicated before he pleads again.

“You don’t have to leave.”

You remain unmoving with your mind still not sure of what to say apart from a simple, “Okay.”

You do turn around though, in an attempt to give him space whilst you try to find some clothes for him to sleep with.

“First drawer.” he says, nodding his head to the direction of his bedroom cabinet.

He slips off his slacks, stepping out of the material in slow movements. The clink of his belt carries a heavy tone and ends up with a loud clang on the floor.

You find gray sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt and as you turn, you find Levi half way in pulling off his own shirt before dropping it carelessly to the ground, too exhausted to pick up it and fold the material.

You try not to let your eyes linger too much on his body, particularly on the muscular tone of his stomach, a dark trail leading down to his lower abdomen as he stands solely in his boxers.

You awkwardly avert your eyes to the floor as you hand him his clothes, your cheeks burning up.

He dresses in silence, brushing a hand over his locks which in the process lifts up his shirt, revealing another little peak of his lower abdomen. In an attempt to distract your mind, you pick up his clothes without hesitation, hands already going to fold them methodically.

“I can do that tomorrow-” he starts, mouth open in protest at your help. You’ve already helped him enough. Too much.

“It’s alright, I’ll put them in the basket,” you say, folding up his stained t-shirt and pants, removing the belt before you fold up the latter.

His exhausted eyes linger over your face as he sits in silence on the edge of the bed, watching you complete the task.

You can feel his eyes bore into you. Purposely, you avoid his gaze, instead focused on the task at hand. “Thanks.” he utters, quietly, once you’ve finished.

You half shrug, “S’’nothing.” You know that he would do the same for you, Levi’s the type of guy to without you even asking so it’s only fair that you do the same.

“I’d give you painkillers, but you shouldn’t take them after drinking.” you say, nodding over to the glass of water that sits on the bedside table.

He nods wordlessly, “Thanks.”

You’re about to turn to leave, grabbing the pile of his folded clothes on the edge of his bed to place in the laundry basket. Your figure is about halfway into leaving the room before his voice stops you again.

“Do you mind staying–just for a little bit?” he speaks up, timidly. Levi still sits at the edge of his bed, and there’s a nervous manner in his body language that you don’t usually see. Tufts of raven hair are stuck to his forehead, his eyes wordlessly pleading you with his gaze.

It’s a tempting offer.

His eyes linger over your face, watching as you hesitate for a moment and for a second he regrets asking you at all, he’s just about to say never mind before you interrupt.

“Sure.”

Walking over, he shuffles over to the other side, silently observing you get underneath his covers. The scent of your laundry detergent—one that Levi religiously insists on buying—fills your nostrils as well as the faint smell of alcohol from him.

Your mind is too aware of the close proximity, the air from his lungs meets your bare neck and for once, out of three years of living together, the silence of it all scares you.

You clear your throat awkwardly, your heart loudly thumping in your ears.

“Did you enjoy tonight then?” you ask, your voice almost breaking as you did. Never would you have expected to be in this predicament. Laying in your roommate’s bed.

You hear a light scoff come from him. “As much as a new year’s party can be.”

You want to ponder on what made him want to drink so much in the first place, knowing his particular distaste for alcohol. But your lips remain shut making the assumption that he—like everyone else—wanted to mark off the end of the year and either way, you’re glad you remained sober tonight even if you weren’t planning to. At least one of you had to be responsible for getting home.

“You should get some sleep Lee.” you suggest, propping your elbow up and resting your head in the palm of your hand.

He lets out a deep hum in response.

To be honest, Levi was still thinking about his behavior tonight, his steel eyes observing your shadow through the darkness. A pit of anxiety stabbed at his lower abdomen, flashbacks popped up in his mind here and there of his behavior. His hand rubbed his forehead, a headache already forming in his skull.

If he could take it all back, he fucking would.

“Sorry.” he mumbles, silently dreading what tomorrow’s hangover would bring.

“For what?” you ponder, curiosity in your tone.

“Making you drag me back here.” he lets out a sigh, “We should’ve just stayed with Erwin.”

“It’s fine.” you reassured, “You’ve done this way too many times for me.”

“Not out of free will.” he joked. A low, natural hum played in the background, the natural vibration of the apartment alongside the outside noise of distant fireworks continuing the arrival of the new year.

“You got a new year’s resolution?” you ask, fingers skimming over the soft, fresh duvet covers.

Levi held back another scoff. Personally, he found that shit so stupid.

He would always remember how Hange would create thirty new resolutions each coming year and yet when December 31st they’d only have completed four by the end of it.

“No.” he states, “What about you?” he’s still slurring slightly, but you can tell the alcohol is starting to wear off especially as his body grows with more weariness and his question is finished off with a yawn.

You hesitate slightly out of embarrassment, “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” he repeats, his tone holding a subtle teasing tone which releases some of the awkward tension in the room.

“I don’t know,”’ you admit shyly, fiddling with your fingers underneath the covers, becoming too comfortable under the covers. You’re going to find it hard to leave soon.

“Well, what is it that you want to do?”

You shug, despite Levi not being able to see you. “It was just a thought, I don’t think it’ll make a good resolution.”

“What is it?” he asks again, gently pushing for an answer.

You let out a sigh, “I just want to get more work done, y’know develop my career and try to push into more opportunities?” you reveal, slightly shy.

“You’re already doing that.”

“Really?” You hummed in disbelief, “I feel like I haven’t worked as hard in the last year like I usually do.”

Levi’s words are now mumbled, falling captive to the power of sleep, “You’re one of–” he yawns again, “the–most hardworking people I know, if anything, your resolution should be to relax more.”

You let out a snort, “Coming from the man who eats, sleeps and breathes in front of a white screen sending emails.”

He scoffs in response,”Well, when you have a shitload of new interns to supervise on a daily basis who constantly ask you stupid questions ninety nine percent of the time, you barely know the meaning of rest.”

“You’re hard working too, Lee.’” you say, “You don’t realize it, but I honestly–I aspire to be like you. You’re always so calm and even when things ‘Go to shit.’” You curl up your fingers to air quote his own words,”You always handle it well.”

Your throat grows thick and you pause to swallow before speaking again, “If anything you should be taking your own advice this year.”

You can’t see due to the darkness of the room and for once Levi is grateful as fuck. With the mix of alcohol and the compliment from you, his heart pounds at a million miles per hour right now.

‘I aspire to be like you.’ You might as well have tattooed those words right above his fucking heart in the sense that your comment will stay permanent in his mind forever.

He’s definitely sure that his cheeks are a burning red from your comment, his mind running on pure elation.

He clears his throat nervously trying not to seem obvious that your words had deeply impacted him.

“I’ll die before that ever happens.” he grumbles and you poke him in the side in annoyance.

“Now that I’ve told you mine,” you say, “What’s yours?”

His face scrunches up, thrown off guard by your sudden question. It takes him a while to think before coming up with a definite answer for you.

He lets out an exhale, his heart almost heavy as he admits it to you.

“Not to take anyone for granted. Anymore.”

You remain silent, hearing it clear in his voice the remorse behind it. Your own heart aches, your limbs almost tempted to reach out to comfort him in a way, to try and understand the sorrow that he holds. Over the past three years, there’s always been allusions to it but you’ve never asked explicitly. It’s not your place to.

After a period of silence he clears his throat, “So–” he begins, “Let’s make a deal.”

Your eyebrows quirk up in curiosity as Levi continues.

“You will promise not to overwork yourself this year and I–” he hesitates, “I’ll not take anyone for granted.”

“And don't overwork yourself too.” you add on to the end.

He clenches his jaw, that wasn’t something he thought about agreeing to but…fuck it.

“Fine.” he says exasperatedly, “I won’t overwork myself…I mean–I’ll try.”

“That’s good enough.” you declare, “It’s a deal then.”

“Deal.”

You don’t remember much of the conversation past that point apart from listening to him complain about the new interns and the annual Christmas office party.

He makes a suggestion for you to come with him next time to which you respond with a “maybe.” It’s not much but it’s enough to set his hopes up, an unfamiliar, warm feeling in his limbs. He tells himself it’s the after effects of the alcohol, unknown that you too, are silently experiencing the same effects.

Somewhere along that point, you fall asleep, your body only jolting awake a few hours later. Already, the sunlight peaks through, illuminating the room that was pitch dark just a few hours ago.

Your eyes were blurry, your body aching and overstimulated with heat as your clothes stuck your skin. You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to adjust to the new lighting of the room.

Coming to your senses, you notice the feeling of a heavy limb wrapped over your torso, keeping you tightly secured in place. Only then you realize that you’re not in your own bed.

A head of jet black hair beside you makes you fall back into reality. Shit.

Levi’s arm is wrapped around your waist, tightly, and his head positioned near your shoulder. Light snores escape from his mouth, they’re so quiet you can barely hear them. You can feel his chest expand and deflate against your back, it feels so snug and so…right.

Too right.

Without warning your mind panics, desperate to find a way to get out. His presence was too intoxicating for you to even comprehend your own thoughts.

You shuffle slowly, attempting to get out of his grip in a way as not to disturb him. Your plan to be discreet fails in pure vain as a light groan is heard near your ear.

“Levi.” you whisper, sensing that his body is beginning to come alive, ever so slowly.

It takes a while for him to become aware of his position and remove his hand away. Almost immediately, you notice the growing distance between the two of you as he pulls away.

And all of a sudden you hate it. The iciness that your body feels as he pulls away, your brain almost lulling you to return to him, pull him back and close the distance between the two of you.

Ignoring your painful isolation, you sit up and stretch your aching legs before unwrapping yourself from the covers.

“Sorry,” you mumble,”I must’ve fallen asleep.”

There’s no response as he’s turned away from you, the back of his raven hair the only thing you see.

You don’t even know if he’s awake. You make the assumption that he’s not based on the fact that he doesn’t really say anything to you as you exit his room, the unspoken tension thick and awakened between the two of you.

Since then, not much has been impacted between the two of you although you both actively avoid discussing what happened that morning.

It’s not awkward but more so that the tension between the two of you has shifted ever so slightly.

“You better not touch the decorations either way.” you state after a long period of silence, flipping the next page of your novel.

Levi clicks his tongue in faux annoyance.

To you, you think that you’ve successfully won him over. But in reality…

he doesn’t really care if they stay up for the rest of the year or if you’re planning to take them all down tomorrow.

For long as you’re here; you can make up the rules

if you’d like to be tagged let me know !

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Binghe nicknames

Today im reflecting in LBH’s nicknames, like, SQQ’s nicknames for him, fandom nicknames for him and SQH’s nicknames for him

why you ask? Because my brain is full of sv brainworms, that’s all

Now, this may have some inconsistencies bc it’s what I believe and im by no means chinese…let’s start with the most common ones to name a small Binghe

We have things like bingbing, binghe, white lotus, little sheep and bunhe. The first two look fairly straightforward no? From what ive seen, in chinese using a character of a person’s name repeatedly like this denotes a cutesy way of calling them, and calling someone by their name alone (as long as it has enough characters for that) is a sign of being close. LBH obviously loves SQQ calling him Binghe, nobody else gets that privilege! Even NYY calls him A-Luo and not Binghe, even though that is another way to denote closeness, I don’t believe its the same for him!

let’s go with bunhe, this is (as far as i know, do correct me if im wrong) a fandom’s name for the lil guy, im guessing it came from the english part of the fandom since its a play on his name and in chinese the term for bun would be bao/baozi(?) depending on the type of bun so it wouldn’t be as cute to call him baohe(?) sounds like another person entirely lol

but! Bun makes you think of a round white and soft ball, safe and sweet, unless you are of course, not chinese like me and at first you thought of a golden brownish ball of hot bread, which would work anyways bc freshly made bread it’s delicious and soft. Anyways, i kinda prefer the chinese imagery of bun for this dumb reason ill present to you: Bunhe is a soft round baby, you can nom his cheeks and squeeze him and call him only to see him following cutely! Its the best! But also, when you break the surface you reveal there’s a spicy filling that will leave your mouth stinging and your stomach warm and content, the problem is though, that your white little bao is now in pieces and you can’t reconstruct it, the white surface has been stained with the spicy red from hell and the bitterness of betrayal…but the sweet exterior is still there and it has shifted to become a delicious dish filled with the flavor of home.

am i getting too lost?

lets go back to nicknames! SY gives him the nicknames of little white lotus and little sheep. The second one is pretty self-explanatory, LBH follows him around everywhere like sheep tend to do (also, this is why little duckling also works) but! The consensus in the fandom is that he has curly hair right? Well, imagine a little boy with fluffy hair following you around and trying to help you with everything? It’s impossible not to want to pat his head and squeeze him, so little sheep it is.

now, i’ve seen that sv fandom uses white lotus a lot! SY himself uses it if I remember correctly, but i feel like sometimes we forget where it truly comes from and what SQQ is saying when he calls LBH that, its true that LBH is like a flower, whilting or flourishing on command like SQQ is his sun, his earth and his water. But from other novels i’ve read, I’ve realized that calling someone a white lotus is not necessarily a compliment! In chinese slang a white lotus is someone that looks pure and kind, respectful and pretty, just like the lotus flower peacefully and beautifully resting on a pond, but it also tells us that such a person has a hidden agenda, a hidden side to their personality just like the lotus has roots in the dirt, underwater where we can’t see, its growing and taking advantage of the nutrients of the deepest parts of the earth, so it’s someone “muddy” and “dirty” that presents themselves kind, pure and innocent!

Which means- that SQQ is calling LBH this to remind himself that even though this cute lil boy is obedient and sweet now, he will (in SQQ’s mind at least) torture him and show his true colors later on the road, after he has been utterly betrayed. I quite like this nickname because of how innocent it looks at first, and how sweetly SQQ is usually portrayed while calling LBH this, but he actually knows deep down that he is possibly playing with fire, and even so, he chooses to care and to ahow love to LBH -sobs-

LBH post canon ends up with a lot of trauma, attachment issues and insecurities, and SQQ calling him white lotus shows that he knew about LBH’s bad sides since the beginning. BUT. He. Doesn’t. Communicate. That!!!!! This dumbass!!!! (Affectionate)

Now, there’s also the nicknames SQQ-SQH use to differentiate the Binghes, and i find it incredibly funny too. There’s Bingge (Bing from his name and Ge from older brother), not only called older brother bc he is the original, but also because he is ruthless and cool beyond expectations (we see in the extras, that he is very intelligent and cunning, but equally as shizun starved smhw) he is strong and much more serious and bitter than his counterpart, not to mention the sheer number of women he has (which, as stallion power fantasy, would make him “more manly” but that’s another topic), so, older brother it is!

Sv LBH is usually called Binghe or even ‘my son’ by SQH, which i find hilarious bc SQQ hates it, he doesn’t want to acknowledge SQH as LBH’s father even if he is the creator. This is obviously a running joke but it makea me think of SQQ then accusing SQH of also marrying his own son (MBJ) which would be extremely funny and SQH would be mortified.

anyways, LBH is also calles Bingmei (Bing for his name and mei for little sister) and this is where it gets interesting, because they clearly could have chosen didi (little brother) but didn’t! And this reinforces the comedic role of LBH, he isn’t just a gay protagonist, he is a gay protagonist that - following the advise of his (unknown) creator/shishu - acts like a total maiden throwing a massive tantrum to get SQQ’s attention, he cries like a little girl, he tugs on SQQ’s sleeve with big watery eyes and becomes his housewife. Not only that, but his insecurities are exaggerated by his acting and it gives the impression of him having a massive maiden heart that will die dramatically if her husband doesn’t pay attention to her 25/7 (no, the 5 is not a typo), and it’s true that he has a maiden heart, but he can live without the 25/7 attention, he is just that dramatic. And obviously lets not forget about the picture of a previously ruthless stallion protagonist in the transmigrators’ minds actually turning into this kind of person that acts frail and cute for his husband, it’s just too much for them, and so, he gets called little sister, like a spoiled younger sister, the apple of her parent’s eye. Honestly when i first read that nickname I couldn’t stop laughing for a long while.

finally im going to babble about LBH’s nicknames for himself, we have, this disciple and this husband which are very contradictory but funny when used together. This disciple is not a special title or anything, because for LBH, he is *not* someone that should be special in any way, he just wants to be special to SQQ, who he adores and admires and wants to always protect. Many ppl call themselves ‘this disciple’ to address SQQ, its a way to denote their status and their willingness to be taught by him, to have a familial relationship outside of blood. Now, this is important to LBH bc he feels like he belongs somewhere calling himself this, especially bc he had no home before, and after when he was part of the peak he was singled out as special but in a bad way, so I believe that he just wants to belong somewhere, to a home. Later on, its also important to him because its a reassurance that SQQ still recognizes him as his family. This disciple, for SQQ is like a threat, but for LBH is a way of asking ‘do you still want me?’ ‘Do you see im the same person you shared your home with?’ And that SQQ doesn’t dare reclaim him at first hurts him bc he yearns to go back to being his disciple, cared for and protected under his master’s sleeve. But LBH also wants more than that if he can have it, and this is when the abandonment issues kick again. He calls himself ‘this husband’ in tears, because he got what he wanted and what he was sure he didn’t deserve for being himself, it’s again, a reassurance of his position in SQQ’s live and in his heart, it means he has the power to *stay*, which is the most important thing for him.

Ill finish here bc im getting mushy and weepy and i need to write and read more fic, thanks for coming to read my babbles and do tell me if there’s something or some nickname i missed and you want it studied too! 💖

[weena-mercator]

narumitsu fic recs - part 1

I've been putting together fic recs for a while, trying to sort things into different categories rather than just sharing one big post of stories that are all over the place in type, length, etc. - I've appreciated all the fic recs I've gotten on reddit and in nrmt discord servers, and wanted to compile things in such a way that it makes it easier for those who are interested in reading more fanfic! while I still have decent amount of fics bookmarked on my "to read" list, i have read a not insubstantial number this year (don't mind me just rolling into the fandom nearly 23 years late - actually I really liked AA when I first saw GG play in 2019, bought the game b/c of it - & I liked nrmt but something about JFA was the turning point for me to become just totally normal about them)

anyways, i digress...

I'll start off with my favorite contenders for long (more than 50K words) canon-compliant (or mostly canon-compliant fics) - some are more dramatic and some are more light-hearted

obviously since this is a recommendation list, I may make comments about how I feel about something with a fic that you don't agree with - I only say this to point out some of my thoughts regarding the fic, not to start a hc war... and I'm definitely not trying to say "this author is wrong" or anything like that, just pointing out my personal opinion

a long way to fall by prospectkiss

this is the first long fic I ever read for nrmt and I can't recommend it enough. Heads up that this fic is E - Taking place between T&T and AJ (handwavey give them more time in this time period than in canon), this is also a case fic that majorly ties in to the plot - you've got romantic tension, mutual pining, drama, angst and a great (and spicy) ending. word count: 78K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: I admit I am partial to getting together fics that are pre-disbarment or very early 7YG, the PINING and build up is incredible and it’s very difficult to put down but especially once you get about halfway through, it will be hard to stop! I think I read this in only 2 sittings.

the long way home by griffonage

a fic that deserves SO much more love - it is so incredibly well-written and heart-wrenching. the very beginning covers major events of the first trilogy quickly while the majority of the story takes place during the 7YG. Phoenix is always right there for Edgeworth, but Edgeworth is pretty great at making terrible decisions -including running away from things he wants deep down- and that finally takes its toll on Phoenix, whose anger is very justified. Per the tags: ??? to friends?? to it's complicated to it's VERY complicated to... unsurprisingly this makes for a pretty angsty relationship & moments that make you just want to shake Miles (and Phoenix, but a lot more Miles). This is also an E fic FYI, as far as I remember that stuff is only short scenes in a few places as opposed to like, a whole chapter devoted to it. word count: 84K POV: Miles why it’s a must read IMO: there are multiple little case fics along the way that are interesting, this story truly made me sad I wasn’t also working and exploring in Europe, Trucy!!, the OCs are very well done, it’s a great character study of Miles, and writing wise, this is one of the most well-written stories I’ve ever read among fanfic and published novels written in my lifetime

trace (vestiges) by FaultyParagon

this fic is pretty well known, and while it may not rank quite as high for me now as it did when I first read it, I do regard it highly. I don't know how much editing/beta-reading happened for it, so my one little thing about it is that the grammar mistakes happened a little too frequently to gloss over, but still not terrible (I know we all write for free but with frequent or significant enough errors, I'm taken out of the world easily, maybe that's not a problem that affects the majority of readers, idk). A mostly filling in the gaps fic that takes place from AAPW to right before DD - it's not exactly a slow burn, but just because they manage to get together earlier rather than later doesn't mean they aren't going to encounter obstacles in their relationship. This fic is M - it sort of rides that line between M and E in my opinion, as the sex isn't very graphic but not just glossed over either. word count: 225K POV: Miles why it’s a must read IMO: touch-starved Miles, again, I’m partial to them getting together pre-disbarment, despite it not being exactly a slow burn it does have quite a build up, I really love seeing Miles have a lot personal growth, especially in regards to handling his emotions, during his “choose death” year and during 7YG as well as how he is there for Phoenix and Trucy during that time

turnabout feelings by ssygir

a 7YG fic where Edgeworth requests Phoenix's help to research trials by jury, bringing Phoenix and Trucy with him to Paris - where they unintentionally get caught up in a murder investigation, and Phoenix realizes his feelings for Edgeworth are definitely not platonic. While my personal view is that Phoenix has known he's been in love with Miles for a looooong time, I can appreciate a good fic where he's just now figuring that out. Some little things about Edgeworth's characterization feel off to me, but maybe that's just me. This fic is E, but that's pretty much limited to one chapter. one small note: this fic does have a follow up, but hasn't been updated in over a year (although the author has said they plan to finish it at least! so hope is not lost yet) word count: 76K POV: Phoenix why it’s a must read IMO: it’s an early 7YG getting together story, the case fic is fun, not a total sloooooow burn but definitely builds up, a good pick when you want a more lighthearted story with very little angst

dating for a turnabout by Mikomikono

technically set in that tiny window between AAI2 and Phoenix's disbarment, Miles asks Phoenix to join him to investigate a smuggling operation at a resort - except they find out that the event taking place at the resort is a couple's retreat, and the only way to have full access is to pose as one... oh and of course Larry happens to be there too. This one is a fun case fic with mutual pining, only one bed and a sprinkling of angst among some silliness and fluff - while I wish there was a little more to the ending, it was a very fun read, T rating. word count: almost 90K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: the author has little profiles and evidence info for the case posted for each chapter, very fun! I’m picky about fake dating stories and I think this one does it very well, and again, I really like seeing pre-disbarment getting together - and they are pining fools here, it’s good stuff

chasing history by SlatedForAbandonment

post canon, Phoenix invites Miles to stay in his guest room while he's in LA working on his PhD. Some small notes on timeline - this is where it gets a little loose with canon compliance, although the author does note that in the tags - Edgeworth is already Chief Prosecutor but currently taking a leave of absence to work on his dissertation, but hasn't found permanent residence again yet, despite this being a few years post SOJ (at one point it is stated that Apollo is 28) - I also feel like a lot of Edgeworth's behavior/reactions are more fitting of trilogy era Edgeworth, or even early 7YG... all that being said, it is a super slow burn, well-written with fun dialogue and very sweet moments as well as a bit of angst. rating is T. word count: 68K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: even though I feel like this story would more realistically take place much earlier in canon, you get a great slow burn with plenty of incredibly sweet moments along the way that just make you melt

the catch-up game by theacegrace

post canon, Trucy is on a year-long magic show tour and Phoenix is left feeling like everyone keeps moving on and leaving him behind, while also dealing with some realizations regarding one Miles Edgeworth. again, my personal take is that Phoenix would've realized this long before now, but this story is an interesting Phoenix character study and once you get about 3/4 through the story, the situation is very tense - it's hard to not read this whole thing, or at least the back half, in one sitting. rated T. word count: 66K POV: Phoenix why it’s a must read IMO: it’s always interesting to consider that prior to his disbarment, Phoenix was the more self-assured and bold one of the two when it came to matters of the heart, and then afterwards that essentially flips for a while - now Miles has gained a lot of confidence and gone through a lot of emotional growth (Phoenix starts to gain this back a lot after becoming a lawyer again, but he’s definitely not just back to trilogy-era Phoenix)

it would feel so good to make you mine by hi_its_ellis and lowbatteryhealth

post DD, this is an unusual slow burn - both Phoenix and Miles know they're in love with each other, but they've come to an unspoken agreement on how to handle this - there's a winner and a loser, and the "loser" is whoever cracks first. honestly, another fic where I just wanted to shake them until they came to their sense, but it's very fun and sweet, T rating. word count: 54K POV: various why it’s a must read IMO: it’s tagged idiots to usdiots LMAO, so many sweet moments among the aggravation - they are BOTH moron-sexual, your honor, and you’ll want to strangle them /affectionate…

a turnabout toast by ideny

summary by author: (after the events of AJ) an estranged Phoenix and Miles respond to a friendly challenge from an unexpected source: do three things each to fix your lives. this fic is technically the least canon compliant because we of course learn in DD (and this fic was written before the release of DD) that Phoenix and Miles did spend time together during his disbarment, at the very least in Europe helping Miles research. So this is a hell of an angsty read, worth it for the story-telling despite that it departs from canon in that way. Not rated, but I don't recall anything above T rating stuff happening in it. word count: 68K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: damn they really go through it in this one, dealing with the aftermath of the events of AJ is very interesting, lots of angst but I feel compelled to tell you don’t worry, the ending will ease your pain

Obligatory recs:

legal partners by miggy

project: matchmakers by WingSongHalo

how to court a fool in under three months by snowyrunes

All 3 of these are post canon getting together fics, AND all 3 are told from various POVs, not just Phoenix and Miles - there's a reason they are some of the most well-known ones - PM is probably the most fluffy with the least angst (and has a very cute multi chapter follow up), followed by LP (has a fairly short E follow up) - HTCAFIUTM is the slowest burn (it also has a follow up that hasn't been updated since 2022... which stinks because it did leave off on a bit of a cliffhanger and I really wanna know what's going to happen lol)

I have yet to read the highly regarded canon-compliant long fics listed below, but they are on my to-read list!

you ever been in love? by hechima

saturation by tiedyed trickster *

indefensible by zombolouge *

a brief for the defense by Ophelia_Writes * (this has now been orphaned FYI)

turnabout dishwasher by zuzsenpai

*indicates that it has not been finished yet, possibly won't ever be

If you know of any other 50K+ canon-compliant fics that you'd highly recommend, please let me know!

my other posts will be for AUs, chapter fics shorter than 50K, one-shots (might have to divide those up by theme), probably a NSFW set as well if there's interest!

[lalune9x]

chapter 354 got translated today and man. yoojin one shotting a guy while being hand cuffed? top tier yoojin moment, hes truly the only one who could be the mc of s classes 10/10.

but tbh the way that part is written is kinda difficult to envision. if you have the time, could you sort of step-by-step what happens there? its a very short scene, only like 3 lines of text max, it just happens so fast that i couldnt read the action well enough to understand it.

omg yeah I love that scene so much, you don't expect it at all so it's kind of shocking, but then it also makes perfect sense because of how disgusted Yoojin is by the guy threatening a kid, especially his brother, and the fact that the guy was still posing a threat to the people Yoojin cares about. It's like the perfect storm of things that would motivate Yoojin to coldly off someone.

and honestly the action was a bit hard for me to understand too. I think it's not written that well in the first place, like the details aren't there in korean. but below is my personal take on that overall scene, with my minor interpretive embellishments to flesh out the physical action sequence! basically I think the most important details to understand are 1. Wanyong is standing across the table from Yoojin, 2. Yoojin moves to fully sit on top of the table with his knees on top of it facing Wanyoung (that's my interpretation since the novel only says he raised his body up on the table and sat), 3. the motion he does is like a back roll (뒤구르기) off the table.

I found this video that might kinda help visualize the roll? although in this video the motion is as if Yoojin used the leg closer to Wanyoug, but the way I visualize it is Yoojin twisting his body more towards Wanyong and using the leg farther from him in order to get more momentum... I might be wrong about that though.

edit: thinking about it more, I'm less sure that what the author wrote physically makes sense lol, but it specifically says he drove the guy's neck using his knee into the table's edge by "rolling/twisting my body fully as if doing a back roll" (몸을 뒤구르기 하듯 완전히 굴리며 그대로 테이블 모서리를 향해 내 무릎을, 개새끼의 목을 내리찍었다), so...

(Chapter 353 + 354 excerpt below the cut.)

---

After being dragged around and moved over long distances repeatedly, I was genuinely exhausted, not just saying it. I didn't care about dinner or anything else, I just wanted them to let me rest already. But the place they led me to, down a plain, empty corridor, wasn't a bedroom. It was a small room with the atmosphere of an interrogation room, where a middle-aged man was sitting at a table.

"...Your face looks familiar," I said.

The middle-aged man looked at me and smiled.

"Long time no see, Director Han Yoojin."

His intonation and lip movements were Korean. Was this guy Korean?

One of the Chinese hunters twisted my arms behind my back and handcuffed me. Them suddenly acting like this made it clear that the middle-aged man in front of me was a non-Awakened.

"Oh, how delightful to meet a fellow countryman in a foreign land~" I drawled. "Or at least that's what I should say. But who are you, again?"

As I approached the table, the middle-aged man stood up, his lips twisting into a sneer.

"I was part of the Hunter Association. Thanks to Director Han—"

"Oh, I remember now! You're Wanyong-ssi. Your family name is Lee, right? Wow, no wonder these Chinese guys seem to know so much about me. You've really been living up to your name, Wanyong-ssi."

My Poison Resistance was one thing, since many people at the hospital knew about it, but my 'Sapling' Skill had been kept top secret. I'd only told the Association about it during our negotiations about the Awakening Center.

At my words, Wanyong's face suddenly contorted, and he seized me by the collar. 

"You little shit, you're all talk!"

"As if I could out-talk you. How much did you blab about me, huh? Your face is nice and shiny, so it seems you've been treated well."

"I was the Director of HR for the Hunter Association—!"

"Yes, Wanyong-ssi, I said I know that already."

His face contorted even more—he looked like he was about to hit me.

"If you've sold out your country to get where you are, it makes sense to just live quietly. So why did you want to come see me? What else did you sell off? Being the head of HR, you must have leaked all of the Association Hunters' abilities. Good thing Director Song isn't officially part of the Association, huh? The Association wouldn't have just thrown you out, either. They would've made you sign a contract to keep your mouth shut, so I guess you got a nice 'bonus' for opening it."

Just in case, I temporarily turned off my Curse Resistance. If Wanyong-ssi suddenly made an about-face and embraced me, it might nullify his curse. He spat out a string of curses in response to my words. Had he not been able to lift the curse he'd gotten as a penalty for breaking his contract? He seemed physically fine, so I wondered what kind of curse it was.

"I worked my way up in the Association from the very beginning!"

"I heard about that. You played a big role in kicking out the early members, didn't you? Those who kick people out are bound to be kicked out in return eventually. Life goes round in circles, doesn't it? Seems you got what you deserved."

Did he meet me just to vent his frustration? That didn't seem likely. I never expected the people expelled from the Association who had managed to avoid prison would live quietly, but I also hadn't expected them to start selling information so quickly. Even if I had known, there wasn't much I could've done to stop it.

'They should write stronger contracts.'

But the Association had to consider human rights issues, too. They couldn't write stuff like 'your head will roll if you talk.' That was also why they often turned a blind eye when hunters hid their skills or stats during registration.

"Did you bring any friends along with you? How's MKC doing? I heard they teamed up with China as well. Did you sell off a lot of information about the Rearing Facility? What about Haeyeon?"

When I mentioned Haeyeon, Wanyong-ssi's grip on my collar tightened. He yanked me partway onto the table. The sharp edge of the metal table hurt.

"Younger brother or older brother, both bastards…" that guy muttered through gritted teeth. What did Yoohyun have to do with this?

"Why are you dragging someone else's younger brother into this?"

"Don't you know that when that little shit Han Yoohyun first awakened, the Association tried to take him in? Well, that bastard caused quite a mess."

I knew about the Association temporarily taking Yoohyun in for protection, but a mess? As I involuntarily frowned, Wanyong’s mouth started running again. His mouth was clearly much livelier than mine.

"Since he was a minor and an S-rank, we tried to persuade him to join the Association. I told him that if people found out a kid who had no other resources was an S-rank hunter, his family wouldn't be safe either."

…I recalled how cold Yoohyun had become when he returned after having been gone for a few days. So the Association bastards had been feeding him that nonsense. It wasn't entirely wrong, though. If Yoohyun and I had remained on good terms, there definitely would've been people trying to take me hostage to exert control over an S-rank hunter who had no backers.

But to threaten a kid with that kind of talk? What kind of adult did that?

"As you said, he was just a kid. And you tried to make him bow down to you by using his family? You filthy fucking bastard."

Trying to manipulate a child by exploiting his weakness. It was utterly disgusting. Even between adults, using family as hostages was a dirty move, but he was a minor. Rage flared up inside me.

The bastard sneered. "Do you know that fucking brat destroyed the temporary accommodations for high-rank Awakened and beat down all the Association hunters? We tried to persuade him as nicely as possible, but fuck, that little shit threatened to kill us if we interfered with his plans to create his own guild—"

"He did a good job, then," I said.

My Yoohyun was clever. Before he got Seok Shimyung's help, I had worried about how he would manage to establish a guild by himself. But it turned out he'd been ordering around scumbags like the guy in front of me. I was glad that kid had an easier time than I thought.

"You failed to use his family as leverage against him, and since he was an S-rank hunter without any weaknesses, you must have been terrified. Because if you pissed him off, he could've just killed you all and gone overseas, where he'd be welcomed. So you had to quietly clean up after my little brother to stay alive. Thanks for that. Really, thanks."

Once Yoohyun actually established the guild, threatening them like that wouldn't have worked. Because if he wasn’t careful, it could have negatively impacted the guild. But before that, even if they tried to cause a scene by threatening to publicize the situation, he had nothing to lose. After forming the guild, there was a chance it could have become a weakness, but Seok Shimyung probably handled that well.

Wanyong spat more curses. I glanced around to check my surroundings. Two hunters were guarding the door, and Chu Huoyun stood beside them, looking bored. There was one more guard standing by the table, but he wasn't that close. He didn't seem like a high-rank hunter, either.

"So, Wanyong-ssi, do you still have connections in Korea? Although the Association has been cleaned up, it hasn’t been completely overhauled, so I’m a bit concerned."

We had only excised the most critical parts. Although internal cleanup was ongoing, it was impossible to completely eradicate the rot.

The edge of the metal table. Would it work? I should've worked out more.

"I can't escape from here anyway, so how about you just tell me who the spies are?" I suggested, then said, "Ah, this position is uncomfortable."

Grumbling for him to let go of my collar, I casually pulled myself up fully to sit on top of the table facing him.

"You think I'd tell you that?" Wanyong said. "But I can offer you some advice, Director Han."

Hmm, was this perhaps one of those moments? Where the one who defected first tries to convince the other person to join them, saying something like, 'If you want an easier life, too~' I've seen scenes with that kind of 'comrade' talk before.

Either way, this guy would keep leaking information from Korea, and he had also threatened my little brother.

"Really? Someone who picks fights wants to give advice?" I asked. "You're terrible at your job."

"You picked the fight first! After you got fussed over by all those S-ranks, I wanted to come and enjoy seeing you get dragged in here—"

I threw my upper body backward hard. My back hit the table and the bastard gripping my collar stumbled, falling forward across the table beside me. At the same time, I kicked off its surface and raised my leg over my head towards him. My bent knee made contact with the back of the bastard's neck, and as I twisted my whole body backwards like I was doing a back roll off the table, I drove my knee — and the bastard's neck — down toward the table's edge.

Bang!

That loud impact noise accompanied the sickening crack of his neck breaking. One of the Chinese hunters rushed forward a moment too late and grabbed me. Wanyong's body slid off the table and collapsed onto the floor.

"Healer—shit, no, he's dead!"

A knee strike alone was dangerous enough. With the metal table adding to the force, a non-Awakened would have a hard time surviving. Chu Huoyun leisurely strolled over and nudged Wanyong's body with his foot. Then he turned his gaze to me. I smiled as if asking if he had a problem.

"You're more ruthless than you look."

[greenerteacups]

Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!

Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?

& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?

sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓

Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.

Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets — and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.

Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.

Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)

Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!

That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.

And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.

(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)

[genevawrenn]

I am just going to put this at the top : this post is going to be a long vent about missing Technoblade, please scroll on if you do not wish to read.

We are coming up on two years without him.

We are also coming up on three years since I discovered his content.

I thought I was at the point I could watch one of his videos tonight, as I used to often do when I am doing tasks or writing he was always the background noise I used. I remember calling into work when he streamed for the sheer sake of enjoying them while they happened the few times I caught them before...well. I think you know. He was the reason my passion for writing came back to life and I believed I could actually follow my lifelong dream of eventually publishing a story.

But I suppose the part I always forget about grief is the absence of the unique spirit that person brought to your life. I found his content and engaged with it instantly, developing one of the longest running fixations I have had in a good while. The sheer excitement I'd have getting the notification he went live for one of his rare streams.

I don't think it truly sunk in when he announced his diagnosis. I remember discussing it with the irl friend who got me into watching him and both of us laughed, saying he's strong enough to fight off anything.

A few months pass with his rare posts and there was always this tiny little bit of intuition I had where he never told us what severity of cancer it was. Like he was a very private guy, yes, but this seemed extra...odd.

Then I remember the way my heart sunk when 'so long nerds' popped into my notification bar. The dashing of my heart against the floor texting people as I tearfully listened to Technodad tell us the words his son Alex wished for us to hear.

Its been a long two years. Its been great ones, tbh. I found a new passion with QSMP and Hermitcraft after the finishing of DSMP [tho c!Techno will forever remain close to my heart]. I kept writing, with over half a million words in published fics on ao3 and several WIP including 3 original novels.

But the only one I ever wanted to thank for helping me find my creativity again I can't, and I never will be able to.

I miss Technoblade.

I will never stop missing him.

I wish he could have laughed with his friends for many years yet, being silently proud of their accomplishments while he messed with people on the QSMP. I wish he could have had another MCC with friends.

I wish his unique soul wasn't taken from us so soon, as we weren't done following our hero yet.

But the only thing I can do now is continue to speak his tales. The first book I properly publish, the gratitude page is going to be addressed to him. I will continue to tell others about his accomplishments and tell them to go watch his content on his Youtube channel [get him to 17 million!]! Buy some of his merch [when it comes back in stock]! Support his family & friends!

Though he would call us nerds for crying, I think its beautiful how many lives he touched and how many thousands mourned his passing. He was a light all corners of the MCYT sphere and beyond saw and respected, and not too many creators can claim such an honour.

I'll always be a Voice at my core. Even if I spend my time these days as a crow, a huevito, a ferret, a tubling, a doozer and many more, my heart will forever belong to Technoblade.

Please keep creating art and writing in his name. I love scrolling the fanart tags and adore every piece I come across with my favourite piglin in them. Please, please, please keep saying his name. Sing his legends. Make references, continue the jokes, hang out in one of his friends chats and support the people he loved.

Support those who are still here, even if your heart hurts.

It's only painful because we all loved him so much, which is a beautiful type of sorrow.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Sat down and was like "What's the dumbest, most out of pocket crossover I can think of with Naruto." Then remembered that one guy who just went "Madoka magica" under my TMA crossover post and started giggling

So yeah, @thr33dogsinatrenchcoat this one goes out to you, I hope ur happy

So my first thought was just Homura in Naruto, but then my brain said no. Kyubey in Naruto. And then I really lost it

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you,

✨️ magical girl Kakashi ✨️

Major Spoilers for Madoka Magica below the cut

(Funilly enough, this has been in my drafts for a while now, well before I started getting really into my magical girl izuna AU)

A quick explanation for those of you here for Kakashi content who have no clue what Madoka Magica is;

Kyubey is a pink immortal rat thing from space who offers specifically pre-teen girls contracts to become magical girls. The girl will be granted a wish as their payment for the contract, then have to fight monsters known as Witches.

How big the wish that they can have granted (wishing for a cake vs wishing to revive the dead for example) depends on their potential as a magical girl. The girls magical girl theme and power will revolve around whatever wish they made— ask for someone to be healed and you may be able to heal faster, ask for happiness and maybe you get to be an empath, etc. As long as you can somehow connect the power to their wish, anything is fair game.

It's later revealed that a) the "soul gem" every magical girl is given when they become a magical girl is literally their soul in physical form. Kyubey just straight up removed their soul from their body and put it in a ROCK. Yes this does mean you can torture a magical girl via her soul gem, and yes if the soul gem gets too far from the girl she will collapse like a puppet who's strings were cut.

And b) witches are actually magical girls who fall victim to negative emotions and have their soul gems consumed by darkness either because they were swallowed by grief or from using too much magic without being able to clean their soul gem (which they can only do by killing witches)

Kyubey does all this because magical girls specifically within the age range of a middle schooler, give off a specific kind of energy when they transform into the witches that Kyubey's race farms for reasons I don't really remember anymore but I'm pretty sure has to do with it being mandatory for their race to live? Dunno it's been years since I watched madoka

Ok context over now for the fun part:

Something about the way humans are made in this world means Kyubey is not restricted to prepubescent girls in offering contracts. It's probably related to their chakra coils or something; Which also translates interestingly into how your amount of chakra and your chakra control affects your power as a magical girl.

Both of which Kakashi has in the bag.

I've read a few different takes about how Kakashi's chakra reserves are actually really big, he's just always running dangerously low bc of the constant drain of the sharingan. (I think this was actually confirmed in one of the novels? Which is neat) And since the overall 'potential' of his maximum chakra reserves is what wins out when it comes to the magical girl contract, he's our ideal customer.

Now, for this set up we aren't going to be using the "Kyubey and the magical girl system have just been around for a long while" but instead we're going with the "kyubey is new to this world and, seeing all of this potential energy, is looking to take a few of these bad boys on a test drive to see how well they work."

(Though there's a very interesting fic there with the angle of kyubey as maybe the equivalent of a 10th secret biiju, maybe locked away somewhere, and maybe released by forming a contract with someone— His junchuriki perhaps?)

This brings up an interesting question! A world where theyre havent been any magical girls yet made means that its a world without witches. And in a world without witches, what is Kyubey's explanation for why he needs magical girls when asked?

In the show we are shown that if pressed and asked the right questions, Kyubey will often tell the truth of the matter — that eventually a magical girl will self destruct and Kyubey farms the energy they release when they turn into a witch.

I can't see any shinobi worth their salt just accepting a suspicious contract for even more suspicious power from an impossibly MORE suspicious little magic rat thing. Kakashi especially. Questions WILL be asked and I do think it wouldn't actually be that hard to get Kyubey to give up the truth. Honestly, knowing the things personality and how it likes to take the logical approach, he might see that just telling the truth may actually help convince some people.

Because yeah, horrible fate aside, it's a lot easier to buy into promises of power when you know exactly what the catch will eventually be, and when it'll probably start kicking in.

There's a lot of people in Naruto who would can and have traded a LOT more than just their soul for power and a free wish. I can see people taking Kyubeys deal as is, Kakashi included under the right circumstances.

And besides that, there are plenty of times when the situation is last minute and intense to have the time to ask questions. Kyubey appearing in some life or death battle offering a miracle would probably be able to get a "fuck it what's the worst that can happen" from pretty much anyone

Anyways there are a few different paths we can take with the how's and why's Kakashi becomes a magical girl, and it largley depends on when exactly Kyubey approaches him about it.

1; Minato Route

Wishes for Minato and everyone to please just stay safe during "Madara's" attack, saving them and trading his soul for it in the process. He has no regrets tho, he refuses to.

This path I think would be fun if Kyubey shows up for the first time super last minute and Kakashi is pressed into a rushed contract and rushed wish. But I can also see if maybe he'd been approached by Kyubey beforehand, it's just that he was trying to sort out whether he trusted the rat enough to make a deal and sort out the exact wording of his wish. But oops no more time for that Kyubey please just keep his family safe!

It'd be fun if that was his exact wording actually. "I wish to keep my family safe"

Maybe it'd mean that even in the future, if he finds someone he considers to be his family, the wish will grow and apply to them? And then ""safe"" is such an abstract concept, especially to shinobi. What does it mean to be safe? Maybe it can end up backfiring in some way eventually, idk

2; Obito Route

^ Like he considers obito family, so maybe Obito is out there reaping the benefits of this wish as he tears shit up bc Kakashi never considered his wish could protect someone who might wish him harm.

This'd also mean Minato and Kushina are around!!! That'd impact a fuck ton of stuff for sure. I feel like without them dissapearing as his final push off the edge, Kakashi for sure wouldn't be the same guy we see in canon. He at least has some form of safety net to catch him, even if he's deep in depression and might not realize that net is there.

After either Kanabi bridge or Rin's death, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey, reads the terms and conditions of the contract, and then wishes for Obito and or Rin to come back to life. This, specifically with Obito, I see going one of two ways;

Kyubey, a bastard, who somehow magically knows Obito is alive: "Are you sure this is what you want to use your wish for?"

Kakashi: "fuck you yes I am"

Kyubey: "I mean if you say so lmao" (Less work for me)

Or,

Kyubey, somehow magically knowing Obito is alive and not wanting to have Kakashi waste this wish because say what you will, he's fair about this shit (to a degree anyways): "Unfortunatley I can't revive people who never died!"

Kakashi: "What."

*queue Kakashi going on a mission to find Obito and becoming a sparkly magical girl along the way wooo we love to see it*

3; The great dilemma, aka TIME TRAVEL !!!!!!!!!!!!

He failed Itachi, leading to the deaths of the entire Uchiha clan.

I'm so sorry you guys time travel is like 90% of what I do and I don't think it's gonna change any time soon

So, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey after the Uchiha massacre. At this point he has a whole fucking list of people he might want to try to revive or save, but he can only make a wish so big. He has enough power to wish one or two people back from the dead— an honestly incredibly feat in itself —but not everyone.

He failed his team, leading to their deaths and Naruto's sad orphan life.

He failed countless mission partners over the years, watching shinobi's fall dead left and right because of a wrong call or knife thrown a second too late

Now for his relationship with Kyubey—

He can't wish them all back. But he can wish for a second chance.

And yeah ok as I'm writing this I'm realizing we've turned right back around and started a fr Madoka magica AU I didn't mean to do that actually, oops.

But yeah time travel magical girl Kakashi !!! Given the time to really think about his wish and too many people to save, he wishes for a second chance.

Does he end up in his kid body or does he stay an 18 year old?

Is he alone or does Kyubey (having learned his mistake from Homura and Madoka) make sure to come along with?

Does his sharingan somehow pull Obito back with him or is he really alone?

Fuck ok actually as I write this one I think this might be The One, The AU, so we're gonna shelve this for another post on its own so we can keep just talking ab the set up.

So disclaimer, I haven't actually watched Madoka in forever, but I think it's safe to say that Kyubey is honestly pretty decent when it comes to guiding his magical girls? I mean, up until they fall off a cliff of despair and turn into monsters, but till then he holds up his end of the contract really well? He'll generally come when they call, answer their questions when asked, check in on them to make sure they're adapting to the lifestyle, sometimes even help keep them informed about local magical girls or witches or just give out free advice.

Don't get me wrong, Kyubey is a fucking rat and not to be trusted, he tricks little girls into literally selling their souls, but he has a clear work ethic and method. He's just also incapable of feeling human emotion and seems genuinely confused at why people would be alarmed or upset at, you know, everything.

But I think that's what would make him work so well in a shinobi world! Especially if he looks at the world and it's people and decides that upfront honesty would be the best play in recruiting someone as his magical girl test drive.

I think it could be interesting if Kakashi and Kyubey could have an actually somewhat positive relationship. Well, as positive as it can get for a traumatized ninja boy and a space rat with no real concept of human emotions outside of what it's read in a textbook about manipulating little girls.

They have an alarmingly functional workplace relationship. Kakashi signed a contract knowing what kind of death it'd probably lead him to (and it's not like it's that different from the end he already knows he'll face one day) and Kyubey is contractually bound to stick around and lend a helping hand and a bit of companionship when applicable.

Also, with Kakashi being his first magical girl test run in this world, he's just kind of monitoring the project? He wants to see it to the end before he gets started on widespread magical girl contracts, because again, logical emotionless little rat thing who knows better than to assume that since it's gone well so far it'll end well too. He wants to collect ALL the data before settling in for good.

Kyubey is giving Kakashi weirdly reaffirming (and much needed) positive reinforcement in all of this. He's impressed with how well the project is going! Kakashi is going through so much constant misery that despite somehow not turning into a witch out of despair, he's still giving a near constant output of that same energy Kyubey farms that usually only comes out when a magical girl witches out. Maybe that's also actually something related to the chakra coils— instead of giving one big explosion of energy when they turn into a witch, the people of this world are able to give a continuous stream of it just by existing and being miserable. Which also gives Kyubey even more of a reason to want to see Kakashi keep living! This guy is a one man army when it comes to energy! It's great!

Also it'd be kind of fucked up but in a funny way if Kyubey straight up told Kakashi this (Maybe Kakashi actually asks to be kept up to date on all of Kyubey's little project notes of studying him?) And it being somewhat of a comfort to him. Like. Yeah, he's a failure cursed to always have those he loves die in his arms or at his hands, but at least his suffering is helping the universe in some way! That's something, right? Right???

Anyways, power and appearence time

So like, obviously there's a VERY large chance that Kakashi would end up with some sort of healing power as a magical girl. Because yknow, there is basically no universe where Kakashi doesn't use his wish to either heal someone, protect someone, or bring someone back from the dead— which lines up pretty directly to a healing based power.

But just normal healing is too boring so lets get spicy with it! Let's lay out some power options!

1) Blood healing

So my favorite twist on a normal healing power is a simple one; He regenerates stupid fast, to the point that he can even reattach limbs, but it's all in his blood. As long as his blood is touching a wound, it's healed in seconds to minutes.

This is also means his blood can also be used to heal others! For good or for bad. Fights can get a lot more complicated when your enemy realizes that they can use your own healing methods on them— even if the blood does only work on what it can touch, so they gotta risk shoving that shit in there if the wound is too deep.

If you want an extra bit of spice on top of that also, you can say the blood doesn't just heal people. Maybe it can heal any living thing— plants included

(I'm ngl I typed all this out then kind of squinted at my screen and went wait isn't this what Karin does? I don't actually know the details of her powers no one tell me if I'm right, I don't actually care)

2) Wound substitution

Here's an incredibly in character ability; He can take on the wounds of his comrades. They get hurt but he takes the hit. It'd so fit his self sacrificing ass too.

Maybe he can have advanced healing from the wounds he steals from his companions, maybe he only inherits them by halves, maybe it's the full deal.

Maybe it's involuntary or maybe he can only do it on purpose. Involuntary could be interesting and offer serious consequences down the line.

I'd love to see a dog themed magical girl Kakashi I think it would cure all of my mental illnesses and give me like 30 more.

3) Sheilds but make them zappy

Thunder shields could be interesting. Maybe he can use the shields to encase his limbs to deliver an extra oomf or smthn, just for funzies.

4) Something to do with eyes

You know I gotta at least consider smthn with eyes, like cmon. Whether it's because his wish was phrased in a way that could catch on it, or it's just how the magic interacted with his sharingan, I wanna see some eye stuff!!!

Maybe whatever healing ability he has is all centered in the eye or smthn, or maybe if it's like a self healing ability he regenerates eyes first or smthn idk.

4) Time powers ✨️

You know I had to.

In the route where he wishes for a second chance he so gets time powers. It's very cool. It's also very very fucking OP so it'd be tricky to work around in giving him a fr obstacle. Maybe if Obito comes back with him, the sharingan somehow makes him immune? Like, whenever Kakashi stops time, Obito isn't stopped.

I'm ngl Im running low on power ideas rn so let's move on, but like leave that open ended

Would Kakashi's magical girl outfit be something that adapts to his style and is created by his subconscious desires, as I'm pretty sure is accurate according to Madoka Magica lore? Yes. But do I think it would be funny to put him in a fluffy magical girl skirt? Even bigger yes, put that man in a dress and heels immediatley.

For Kakashi's soul gem, I think it'd be really fun if instead of taking the form of a ring, it was instead either an earring or— hear me out guys, lip ring or tongue piercing

It's perfect! He already hides his face, no one would even know it was there! Also both lip rings and tongue piercings are so cute

His soul gem is red with a silver case and we all know why. When he transforms it doesn't glow red tho, it glows white because something something hatake white chakra or something, idk

Anyways this has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 weeks now, so I'm gonna go ahead and hit post even tho I'm not totally satisfied with what I have here. Better to put it out for the few who'd enjoy it than keep it in the trunk bc I'm unsatisfied, right? Maybe I'll come back to it later, idk.

[elioslover]

Preview: Grapejuice Part Four!

Premise: Harry has been pining over Y/n - his best friends slightly older sister - for as long as he can remember. But she still refuses to see him as anything other than her brothers goofy obnoxious bestie. This chapter is when the filth kicks!! - Em. xo

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

Grapejuice masterpost / Other writing

🍷

You are no longer willing to suffering behind your sunglasses, the sun sizzling down on your already hot skin, you feel like a roast on the spit, pathetically begging for Harry to take a hearty bite.

His face is masked by a denim baseball cap, one arm flexed behind his head like a pillow, and you wonder if he’s asleep at this point, using that as the push you needed to get up and cross over to his sunbed.

Bending down and leaning your body over his own, your bikini-clad breast brushing against his chest as you reach across him for a book-you couldn’t even recall the title of- resting next to his half empty lemonade on the side table.

“You’re kidding.” Harry informatively mumbles through the material.

“What?” You feign innocence, pressing further into him, your waist coming down on his stomach.

“You know exactly what you’re doing.” He continues, but lets you continue with your teasing.

“Getting my book?” You innocently ponder, taking much longer than necessary, letting your fingers dance along the cover, tapping along and further sticking his and your your skin together.

Harry removes his flexed arm from its position as a pillow, using his thumb to hook under and remove the cap from hiding his face.

He looks at you with a stern furrow of the brows, but his eyes are nothing but amused- and slightly turned on,

“You’re a little liar.”

With ease, Harry wraps his arms around your waist, giving you a good squeeze as he flips you over, causing you to snatch a hold of the novel just as you find yourself bent and folded over his lap, ass up in the air, your chest resting against his thighs,

“What the-” You try.

Now Harry has you, and you feel silly for thinking you could have ever gotten away with being so reckless, banking on the falseness of his lack of interest in your presence. He had lured you right in- leaving you laying across him, completely at his will.

Not that you would want to be anywhere else- you can’t help the embarrassment stirring at your stomach, ringing in your ears, you hope Harry doesn’t notice, and it seems he is far more focused on the sultriness of your arched back, your bikini bottoms becoming a frame for the ass cheeks that he quickly deems an artwork.

His fingers glide along the curve of your spine, satisfied with the shiver that shakes your body beneath his touch,

“You’re a naughty one, aren’t you?” He notes, letting his hands continue to trail along your curves.

He ponders for a moment, watching for each reaction you might let slip, hyper-focused on your shaky breaths, the rise and fall of your breasts against his legs. He needs more though- needs to hear you,

“I think it’s time you’re punished for all of this brattiness.”

“I’m not a brat.” You huff defensively for no reason but to protect your pride, still stuck and at his will.

“But you act like one.” He tuts factually, his hands gliding along your lower back before his palms finally settling on your ass cheeks, giving you the softest of pats.

“That’s the same-”

Harry refuses to let you finish, his tone dripping with discipline, his hands squeezing at your skin to ensure to cut you off and keep you focused on his filthy intentions,

“Keep reading that book.”  He has you hooked like an unknowing fish, baiting you with the promise of leaving little red marks along your pillowing bum cheeks, “Since you found it so, so important…”

Your lip’s part with the desire of protest, letting the book loosen in your hand, waiting on it to finally part from your palms. But Harry is watching like a hawk- waiting for you to misbehave once more, knowing you far too well. Still, you rally all of the defiance you have to spare,

“I-”

“Read the book, Y/n.”

[veliseraptor]

October Reading Recap

I read kind of a lot this month, mostly as a product of the holidays meaning I had a lot of time where I (a) wasn't working and (b) wasn't online and also there was the fact that I was (c) depressed and desperately trying to keep myself occupied at all times to avoid slumping into a pit of nothingness.

so this one's kind of long.

Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera. I need to read more mysteries again. I had a lot of fun with this one - I am always a sucker for books that play with multimedia type formats (movie scripts, podcast transcripts, etc.) and while I've fallen out of the true crime circuit it was fun to watch the ways in which this book was playing with it.

The Tangleroot Palace by Marjorie Liu. I've read all of Marjorie Liu's comics (and loved them) but this was my first time reading her prose. Short story collections are always hard for me to assess, since I very seldom come away from them feeling in any way uniform about the stories within, but this was a rare short story collection where there weren't any I didn't like. There weren't standouts to me in the same way that, say, Monstress stands out to me, but they were all solid.

Pine by Francine Toon. Picked this one up sort of on a whim as a horror novel and I don't feel like it quite was, in the end, a horror novel. It was good - quiet and a little eerie - but probably not one I'd pass on an enthusiastic recommendation for.

The Daughter of Doctor Moreau by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. With the possible exception of Mexican Gothic I've been decidedly underimpressed with Moreno-Garcia's work, and this book was not an exception. I was excited about it! But maybe that's partly because I was hoping for more horror than I got. But then again, it was billed to me as such, so I'm not entirely coming from nowhere with that.

Seven Surrenders by Ada Palmer. I think I liked this book more than I liked Too Like the Lightning, but that might also be because a lot of Too Like the Lightning was setup/catalyzing for events that actually happened in this book. I'm definitely going to read the rest of the series and this is another one where I want to read, like, literary analysis of these books, or discuss them in a group, or something, because they're doing some very interesting things that would be fun to cogitate on more deeply than I feel like I can do just on my own.

Alien Clay by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I didn't like this book quite as much as I've liked Tchaikovsky's other work, in part because I felt like this one got a little heavy handed/didactic which is the fastest way to turn me off a book. But I'm maybe more sensitive to that than I need to be, and I think the question of...is-this-meant-to-be-horror-tinged-or-not means I'm going to be thinking about this one moving forward. It's no Children of Time but I continue to be a Tchaikovsky devotee.

Horror Movie by Paul Tremblay. This book was bad. I mean, it wasn't the worst, but it also wasn't very good at all, and felt like it was leaning hard on the movie script format gambit as a way to mask how thin the book as a whole was.

The Book at War: Libraries and Readers in an Age of Conflict by Andrew Pettegree. I was hoping for a book more about the content of books as they relate to war and wartime propaganda, but I probably should've read the subtitle more carefully, so that's on me. This was much more about books as a material object and libraries as an entity during wartime, specifically mostly during World War 2 and the Cold War. Which was interesting, but not as interesting as I hoped for.

Black Mouth by Ronald Malfi. Another horror novel - I've been meaning to read this one for a while though I'm not actually sure I remember what put it on my radar. I think Malfi is an author I've seen around and this was a book where the summary sounded vaguely interesting to me, so I marked it down as a title to give a new-to-me author a go. While my feelings on this book are sort of mixed - the way it wrote its disabled character in particular had my eyebrows twitching a little - I do think I'll be trying more Malfi.

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan. Remember this post? Yeah, it was about this book. I'm not proud it made me cry, but made me cry it did. On the other hand, I'm (a) astonished that it references MDZS for inspiration but not SVSSS, though maybe that's because the author was afraid it'd make the ways she was cribbing from SVSSS too obvious, and (b) this book actually did have me when it settled down into being serious and cut some of the goddamn quippiness. Look, I'm not entirely opposed to a good quip. They can be fun, and I think I get what they were conveying in terms of character (that the protagonist wasn't really taking things in the "fictional" world seriously, up to a certain point), but they can also be very grating. On the other other hand I probably will be reading the sequel, unfortunately. So you know. Mixed fucking bag.

Leech by Hiron Ennes. I read a fair amount of horror this month and this was one of the standouts specifically because of its initial conceit and how that conceit was developed - which I don't want to say too much about because I think it's stronger to come into this book not knowing much about it.

Silent Reading (Mo Du) by Priest. It's not the cnovel that caters to me most personally that I've read so far, but it might be the best one I've read so far, if that makes sense as a distinction. The character work, the dynamic between the main characters, the tightening noose of the core mystery...I really liked this one, and definitely plan to go back and reread it. Might bind it, too, we'll see. I should finish Qiang Jin Jiu first.

Lady Hotspur by Tessa Gratton. I understand why Gratton didn't have Hal kill Hotspur in the end (as in the play this is drawing on for source material) but it definitely weakened the book, in my opinion, that she didn't. It would've been much stronger, narratively, if also a lot sadder. But ah well. Would've been absolutely slammed with bury-your-gays discourse. Anyway, I liked The Queens of Innis Lear better but I didn't dislike this one.

Winter Be My Shield by Jo Spurrier. I am very excited to read the rest of this series, which @mongooseland turned me onto by doing art for it. I don't know that I'd endorse it wholeheartedly for everyone - in fact, I definitely wouldn't, for one thing content warnings for heavily-referenced if not explicitly shown sexual assault - but I'm personally into it and looking forward to reading the next books, which are going to be difficult to find, alas. I have adopted a new terrible boy from this, if anyone was wondering.

Solaris by Stanislaw Lem. I feel like I did not understand this book and probably need to read some analysis of it to get a better sense of what was going on. Makes me wish I'd actually read it for the book club meeting about it, since maybe someone there would have a better idea of how to dissect what it's doing than I did.

Oracle by Thomas Olde Heuvelt. I didn't like this one as much as I liked his other two that I've read - it felt more action/adventure and less horror in a way that appealed to me less. It was still good enough that I'm glad I read it, and I'll continue to follow the author, but I was moderately underwhelmed - though, to be fair, that's more by comparison with his other work than it is comparison with other horror I've read, which it still outshines.

I'm currently reading Catching Chen Qing Ling: The Untamed and Adaptation, Production, and Reception in Transcultural Contexts (that's a mouthful) alongside rereading The Last Unicorn. Might try to finally finish reading Golden Witchbreed by Mary Gentle this month, finally read Cassiel's Servant by Jacqueline Carey, and maybe read one of the short story collections sitting on my shelf (The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories, possibly). New Remnants of Filth volume and new Monstress (speaking of Marjorie Liu) are coming out this month, so those will probably make it into the rotation too.

taking mystery/thriller recommendations still, if anyone has any! I'm generally pretty good at just feeling my way around in the fantasy/sci-fi and nonfiction spaces, but I've got no idea where to start when it comes to other genres.

[ofliterarynature]

AUGUST 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope DNF (bookclub) reread*]

True Grit • A Sorceress Comes to Call • (Fit for the Gods) • A Short Walk Through a Wide World • The Chestnut King* • Where the Drowned Girls Go • The Hollow Boy* • The Philosopher's Flight • The Whispering Skull* • Death by Silver • Grandma Gatewood's Walk • Across the Green Grass Fields • Tales from the Hinterland • The Screaming Staircase* • Ascension • Running Close to the Wind • August Kitko and the Mechas from Space

* * * * * *

Lockwood & Co - time for a reread! I really like the idea of ghost books but struggle to find ones that I like, but these are perfect! The worldbuilding and story structure is somehow just what I want - just enough rules to give them the confidence to be bad ass AND tension for when they royally screw up, and a fantastic, case-book type narrative where the characters are going about their lives, fighting ghosts, and not actually getting to the titular case until halfway through the book. Love it! I need more like that actually. (I recommend The Angel of the Crows)

Tales from the Hinterland -since I finally read The Language of Thorns I figured I should get around to this too. I didn't like the related novels all that much but WAS interested in the stories, but it's been so long I've mostly forgotten their context. I didn't mind it, and I think Albert has a better grasp on the language and form of fairy tales than Bardugo, but the inescapable grimness of the stories quickly became repetitive and boring.

Across the Green Grass Fields - it took me a bit to warm up to this one, but once we went through the door I had a good time! I think this is probably my favorite of the individual door stories so far. On the other hand, I usually like the ensemble books, but Where the Drowned Girls Go didn't quite work for me this time, but it might be one that just needs a second read.

Grandma Gatewood's Walk - I've seen this one around (most recently at a Hocking Hills gift shop) and finally picked it up since my library had it on audiobook. Unfortunately it was doing a lot of things that annoy me about certain nonfiction and while it was readable and interesting, I wouldn't say I enjoyed it or would recommend it.

Death by Silver - a gaslamp mystery/gay romance that was fun! If you like a mystery that is, the "romance" coasts along on the "old school friends/hookup buddies" line and doesn't really get any development (or steaminess), but things do keep moving and it was a nice enough read that I'd maybe try some of the author's other work (but maybe not the sequel)

The Philosopher's Flight - I don't even know. It *was* a good read that moved along well, BUT... I don't want to lay everything at the feet of "it was written by a man," but it definitely had its effects. Stories about girls and women going into a man's world and showing them all up are pretty common and catnip to me (Keladry my beloved), but something about a man doing it in a women's organization that exists in a patriarchal society WITH a heavy political-unrest plot going on as well, and despite the abundance of female characters none of them are well developed? And the main character is just a bland-ass dude? It really didn't sit well with me, and I do not want to read the sequel.

The Chestnut King - I'm glad to be done with this series reread. They're honesty just a perfectly middling MG fantasy series, slightly dated but charmingly midwestern in many ways. Kids would probably enjoy it more, but there's not much for an older reader.

A Short Walk Through a Wide World - going in I knew this was being pitched as sort of cozy, and being comp'd to Addie Larue (which I didn't like in execution). Fairly accurate on both counts tbh, and I thought the curse in this one worked much better - the problem with Addie was that the inability for anyone to remember her didn't allow for any connections to make things interesting, whereas A Short Walk's not being able to stay longer than a few days or ever return offers *just* enough to be heartbreaking. Unfortunately there just wasn't much of a shape to the overall story and I was so bored I almost DNF'd. If you're more into the books being marketed as "cozy fantasy" you might have a better time of it than me.

Fit for the Gods - aka "Greek Mythology Reimagined," which feels self explanatory. Anthologies are always a bit of a mixed bag, but I really liked this! Especially compared to the previous anthology (Sword Stone Table), there was only one story I didn't really like, but otherwise really vibed with everything else! I also learned that most of my myth knowledge that's stuck around is from Percy Jackson, lol. (Not to mention the reincarnation story that mentioned Percy Jackson! I cackled XD)

A Sorceress Comes to Call - LOVED!!! Regency house party, magic, murder, mystery is so so SO up my alley. I've seen people call this a stressful book, and I get it, the mother is awful and things are definitely tense, but something was telling me that things would turn out ok for the main characters and I was able to enjoy myself lol. It also helped that it became quickly obvious that the mother was very full of herself and overconfident, even if she was terrifying. I think this is tied with Thornhedge for my favorite Kingfisher so far, though I might rate this a little lower on quality. If you liked this I really recommend checking out the Greenwing & Dart series by Victoria Goddard!

True Grit - meh. Picked this up through a combination of podcast rec/book sale find/needed to read another classic. The kid's got spunk, but that's all I've really got to say. Came very close to dnf'ing, but at least it was short.

DNF

Ascension - 25%. I was really looking forward to making a "if I had a nickle for every book about a mountain mysteriously appearing somewhere it shouldn't, I'd have two nickles" joke, but alas. This started off pretty good, going with the classic "I found these papers among my brother's affects after a long mysterious life" that I was REALLY excited about. Then we actually got to the story and the main character was just Most Special Genius Science Boy, and the way his ex-wife was being written was absolutely bleh. I looked a bit closer at the reviews and decided to dump it. (Other mountain book is My Volcano and you should read it!!!! It's so weird!!)

Running Close to the Wind - 11%. Was this funny? Yes. Was this super horny? Yes. Was this funny and super horny? Super yes. I can really appreciate what was happening here, it's just unfortunately not a style I can consume in anything larger than small bites. I decided to part ways before my feelings really soured.

August Kitko and the Mechas from Space - 41%. I honestly did like what I read, it just wasn't speaking to me? I can see this being a great book for someone, I just had other things I wanted to read more.

[revel-inbluehues]

Oh my goodness gracious, I am several different types of broken rn. I just watched episode 7, and I NEED TO RANT AND I'M PROBABLY GOING TO LEAK A SPOILER OR TWO.

Okay, firstly, the first half was hilarious, just FX and MQ being absolute comedic gold. I completely forgot that FX was afraid of women since I read the novels a long time ago, but it was hilarious. He looked so disgusted. Them getting in funny situation is good as it is, but the animators did a fantastic job at the facial expressions of FX, MQ and the background heavenly officials who were hearing all of this play out. I laughed at it all, and poor SQX being embarrassed, tired, and exasperated at the dice shenanigans that he had to deal with earlier.

But, funny as it was, the second part was my favourite bit.

I literally froze when I saw Fang Xin. It was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Knowing what that blade had done, the history it has made it so much more impactful since this is the first time since this is the first time XL is seeing it in 600 years or so while this is the first time HC is seeing it in around 800 years if I remember it correctly. It is such a metaphorically heavy blade, and seeing its design and animation is so very beautiful.

Meanwhile, LQQ commented on how different XL seemed, and XL responded on how this is how he always was, just that LQQ never knew it. Even still, XL felt like a teacher to LQQ, so I feel like no matter how separate XL tried to be, he did very much care for LQQ as I'm sure the next episode will show.

But I think the major part that got me was LQQ's speech about not becoming full of resentment or like XL, which is one hell of a gut punch. Once again, bravo to the animators for that little cut to XL's eyes widening. I always knew LQQ was a parallel to XL, and it is most clearest here. In that moment, XL knew that he was LQQ's White No Face, and that, in LQQ's perspective, where he started the worst moments of his life in a twisted attempt to make LQQ just as resentful as him. It was a fantastic comparison and a terrible irony to XL, something he clearly acknowledged as he laughed and tried so hard not to cry. XL's comparison to the White No Face is something that will probably hurt every time, since to XL, only he and JW know about it, and he's unable to share the burden of what happened, which probably just hurts even more. The parallel between LQQ's words to XL and XL's words to White No-Face is so painful, especially to XL, who thinks that it's his burden to bare, and it probably hurts more when you consider that he literally just got Fang Xin back.

And throughout all of this, the one other person who knew all of this, and wanted to share the burden was standing right next to him, looking hurt and about to cry as he watch his most loved hurt. HC knew the significance of it all, and it was a stark reminder of all the times he failed to protect the one he loved the most, and since this right after he accidently hurt XL as well, this must be painful for him too. There is so much foreshadowing for all the donghua-watchers only and so much tragedy underlining this scene.

The part where XL hesitated to hold Fangxin, when you know everything, hurts so much. It caused him so much trauma, wielding it would have just been such a painful reminder.

Let me move onto fangirling before I cry.

Firstly, I was waiting for the daruma doll bit for a while. He looks so cute and angry at the same time. It's adorable, and I laughed when LQQ side-eyed HC in the daruma form.

Secondly, why do HC and XL still look so HOT EVEN AS THE WEIRD CANDLE DEMONS, OMG???? HC with horns, blue skins, and black sclera is going to haunt me for DAYS, and XL looks so good with it as well. The candles on their heads look so funny though.

The next episode is for the Qi Rong simps, and I would like to remind everyone that Qi Rong, heathen that he is, is still physically hot, even if I have the visceral desire to punch him.